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1
00:00:02,412 --> 00:00:05,346
♪ THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD ♪
2
00:00:05,348 --> 00:00:08,082
♪ I SHALL NOT WANT ♪
3
00:00:08,084 --> 00:00:10,685
♪ HE MAKETH ME ♪
4
00:00:10,687 --> 00:00:14,222
♪ TO LIE DOWN
IN GREEN PASTURES ♪
5
00:00:14,224 --> 00:00:19,693
♪ HE LEADETH ME ♪
6
00:00:19,695 --> 00:00:25,632
♪ BESIDE STILL WATERS ♪
7
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:33,540
♪ STILL WATERS ♪
8
00:00:39,315 --> 00:00:41,981
( baby "talking" )
9
00:00:41,983 --> 00:00:43,950
Hugo: BUENOS TARDES.
10
00:00:43,952 --> 00:00:45,752
All: AWWWWW...
11
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,321
I SAID I'D MIND
BABY GERALDINE,
12
00:00:47,323 --> 00:00:51,358
AS ALICE WAS EMOTIONALLY DRAINED
BY THIS WEEK'S CHANGING ROOMS.
13
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,892
ONE OF THE COUPLES
DIDN'T LIKE THEIR NEW KITCHEN.
14
00:00:53,894 --> 00:00:57,330
I HATE IT
WHEN THAT HAPPENS.
IT BREAKS MY HEART.
15
00:00:57,332 --> 00:01:00,666
RIGHT. LET'S NOT
GET DISTRACTED.
16
00:01:00,668 --> 00:01:03,502
ITEM ONE. THIS BEING
MILLENNIUM YEAR,
17
00:01:03,504 --> 00:01:05,838
WE NEED TO
COMMEMORATE IT
SOMEHOW--
18
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,474
SHE'S DROPPED HER TOY,
HUGO.
19
00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:11,910
Jim: NO, NO, NO, NO--
20
00:01:11,912 --> 00:01:15,314
SHE IS A PRETTY BABY,
ISN'T SHE? BOO-BOO!
21
00:01:16,317 --> 00:01:18,484
SHE'S PRETTIER
THAN HER FATHER.
22
00:01:18,486 --> 00:01:21,721
YOU WERE
AN UGLY BASTARD,
HUGO.
23
00:01:21,723 --> 00:01:24,624
YOU LOOKED LIKE
MOTHER TERESA--
24
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:25,991
ONLY EVEN UGLIER.
25
00:01:25,993 --> 00:01:27,326
OWEN.
26
00:01:27,328 --> 00:01:29,961
CAN WE GET BACK
TO THE AGENDA?
27
00:01:29,963 --> 00:01:32,530
OH, ABSOLUTELY.
WE'LL TAKE A VOTE
ON THAT.
28
00:01:32,532 --> 00:01:33,998
ON WHAT?
29
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,968
JIM'S PROPOSAL
THAT BABY GERALDINE
IS A PRETTY BABY.
30
00:01:36,970 --> 00:01:38,336
DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
31
00:01:38,338 --> 00:01:40,639
ALL THOSE IN FAVOUR?
32
00:01:40,641 --> 00:01:42,240
THAT'S PASSED.
33
00:01:42,242 --> 00:01:45,910
"EXCEPT FOR COUNCILLOR HORTON...
34
00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:48,680
HER GRANDFATHER."
35
00:01:48,682 --> 00:01:50,915
YOU DON'T THINK
SHE'S PRETTY, FATHER?
36
00:01:50,917 --> 00:01:52,850
OF COURSE I THINK
SHE'S PRETTY!
37
00:01:52,852 --> 00:01:55,287
RIGHT. WE'LL HAVE TO
TAKE THAT VOTE AGAIN.
38
00:01:55,289 --> 00:01:57,289
CONCENTRATE, CHAIRMAN.
39
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,557
OH, SHUT UP,
YOU ARCH-IDIOT!
40
00:01:59,559 --> 00:02:01,993
LANGUAGE, DAVID!
THERE'S A BABY PRESENT.
41
00:02:01,995 --> 00:02:04,695
I KNOW THERE'S
AN ARSING BABY PRESENT!
42
00:02:04,697 --> 00:02:06,897
All: OOOH!
43
00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:09,667
MOVING ON.
44
00:02:09,669 --> 00:02:11,535
WE ARE NOW INTO
THE MILLENNIUM YEAR,
45
00:02:11,537 --> 00:02:13,370
AND WE NEED TO
COMMEMORATE THE EVENT
46
00:02:13,372 --> 00:02:16,407
WITH SOMETHING LASTING.
ANY IDEAS?
47
00:02:16,409 --> 00:02:19,510
All:
♪ YOU'RE CLIMBING UP
THE SUNSHINE ♪
48
00:02:19,512 --> 00:02:22,513
♪ WHEN THE BREEZES BLOW ♪
49
00:02:22,515 --> 00:02:24,648
♪ OOH-OOH ♪
HA HA HA!
50
00:02:24,650 --> 00:02:26,883
ANY IDEAS?
51
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:29,420
YES, I THINK WE SHOULD
BUILD SOMETHING
52
00:02:29,422 --> 00:02:31,188
FOR THE YOUTH
OF THE VILLAGE.
53
00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:33,457
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.
WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
54
00:02:33,459 --> 00:02:34,925
A 10-SCREEN
MULTIPLEX CINEMA
55
00:02:34,927 --> 00:02:37,761
WITH A BOWLING ALLEY
AND A BURGER KING.
56
00:02:37,763 --> 00:02:40,196
OUR BUDGET IS £2,000,
HUGO.
57
00:02:40,198 --> 00:02:42,632
EITHER THAT OR
A STATUE FOR THE GREEN.
58
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:44,934
GOOD THINKING,
PRICELESS PREACHER.
59
00:02:44,936 --> 00:02:46,803
OF SOMEONE
WHO MEANS A LOT
TO THE VILLAGE.
60
00:02:46,805 --> 00:02:48,671
CAROL VORDERMAN.
61
00:02:48,673 --> 00:02:50,773
ON WHAT GROUNDS?
62
00:02:50,775 --> 00:02:54,109
WELL, I LIVE IN THE VILLAGE,
AND SHE MEANS A LOT TO ME.
63
00:02:54,111 --> 00:02:58,280
ME TOO. I'D MULTIPLY
WITH HER ANY OLD TIME!
64
00:02:58,282 --> 00:03:00,883
I'D SUBTRACT
HER UNDERPANTS
ANYTIME!
65
00:03:00,885 --> 00:03:03,319
AND I WOULD DIVIDE HER--
66
00:03:03,321 --> 00:03:05,020
BOYS! BOYS!
67
00:03:05,022 --> 00:03:07,557
BOYS, PLEASE.
GET A GRIP.
68
00:03:07,559 --> 00:03:09,024
I'D LOVE TO.
69
00:03:09,026 --> 00:03:11,828
MUCH AS I WOULD LOVE
TO BUILD A STATUE
70
00:03:11,830 --> 00:03:13,730
OF THE ENTIRE CAST
OF COUNTDOWN,
71
00:03:13,732 --> 00:03:16,365
I THINK SOMEONE
FROM DIBLEY'S PAST
WHO IS FAMOUS
72
00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:17,632
MIGHT BE BETTER.
73
00:03:17,634 --> 00:03:19,568
GOOD IDEA, PRIME MINISTER.
74
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:21,236
CALLING ALL BRAIN CELLS!
75
00:03:21,238 --> 00:03:23,372
SUGGESTIONS AT
THE NEXT MEETING, PLEASE.
76
00:03:23,374 --> 00:03:24,373
VERY GOOD.
77
00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:26,375
MEANWHILE,
AS WE ALL KNOW,
78
00:03:26,377 --> 00:03:28,677
WE'VE ALL BEEN EXPERIENCING
VERY HOT WEATHER.
79
00:03:28,679 --> 00:03:32,046
I HAVE TAKEN TO
SLEEPING IN THE NUDE.
80
00:03:32,048 --> 00:03:34,649
ON THE VILLAGE GREEN.
81
00:03:34,651 --> 00:03:38,052
WE KNOW, JIM.
AS DO THE POLICE.
82
00:03:38,054 --> 00:03:40,389
LET ME REMIND YOU
ONCE MORE
83
00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:42,691
THAT THERE IS
A HOSEPIPE BAN
84
00:03:42,693 --> 00:03:45,527
CURRENTLY IN OPERATION...
85
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,895
VICAR.
86
00:03:48,365 --> 00:03:50,064
WHAT?! WHAT?!
87
00:03:50,066 --> 00:03:51,932
MY CAR WAS DIRTY.
88
00:03:51,934 --> 00:03:55,335
AND LET ME REMIND YOU
OF LUKE 7 VERSE 11--
89
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:58,038
"AND JESUS DID SAY
UNTO HIS DISCIPLES,
90
00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,141
'VERILY, AN UNCLEAN
MINI-METRO
91
00:04:01,143 --> 00:04:04,412
'IS AN ABOMINATION
BEFORE THE LORD.'"
92
00:04:04,414 --> 00:04:06,246
DISGRACEFUL BEHAVIOUR.
93
00:04:06,248 --> 00:04:09,116
SO WHY WERE YOU
HOSING YOUR CAR
YESTERDAY?
94
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,418
MOVING ON.
95
00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:13,086
AT TWO O'CLOCK
IN THE MORNING.
OH, YES?
96
00:04:13,088 --> 00:04:14,889
AFTER YOU'D FINISHED
FILLING THE POOL
97
00:04:14,891 --> 00:04:18,225
AND SPRINKLING
THE CROQUET LAWN.
98
00:04:18,227 --> 00:04:21,529
ACTUALLY, SHE REALLY IS
A PRETTY BABY, ISN'T SHE?
99
00:04:21,531 --> 00:04:23,431
( all talking
baby talk )
100
00:04:23,433 --> 00:04:24,899
BOO!
101
00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:26,599
BOO-BOO!
102
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,601
TV: VILLAGERS ARE NOW FACING
103
00:04:28,603 --> 00:04:30,603
THEIR THIRD DAY WITHOUT MAIN'S WATER.
104
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,271
A COMPANY SPOKESMAN SAID DRINKING WATER
105
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,874
WOULD BE BUSED IN, AND BLAMED CONSUMER FOR...
106
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:44,951
YOU THIRSTY THING...
GET A SPLOSH OF THAT.
107
00:04:44,953 --> 00:04:46,619
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
108
00:04:46,621 --> 00:04:48,354
I ONLY GET
TWO PINTS OF WATER
A DAY!
109
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:50,122
THAT'S WHY I'M
GIVING THEM THIS.
110
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:52,592
MY MUM SAYS
IT'S BETTER THAN WATER.
111
00:04:52,594 --> 00:04:54,226
SHE SWEARS BY IT.
112
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:57,530
IN FACT,
AFTER A FEW GLASSES
SHE CAN'T STOP SWEARING.
113
00:04:57,532 --> 00:05:00,066
ACTUALLY, I'M PARCHED.
GIVE US A SIP.
114
00:05:01,201 --> 00:05:03,234
AAAYYAAHH!
115
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,538
YOU'VE MIXED BABY-BIO
WITH THAT, HAVEN'T YOU?
116
00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,542
ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT BAD.
117
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:14,145
GOT A SORT OF
VIMTO AMBIENCE
ABOUT IT.
118
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:18,484
THIS WATER SHORTAGE
119
00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:23,088
MAKES YOU REALIZE
HOW FRAGILE LIFE IS,
DOESN'T IT?
120
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:26,157
I MEAN, YOU ALWAYS ASSUME
LIFE WILL GO ON AS IT HAS,
121
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,226
AND THEN SUDDENLY
THERE'S NO WATER.
122
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:29,995
IT'S LIKE WAKING UP
ONE MORNING
123
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,897
AND FINDING THERE'S NO AIR.
124
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,265
WELL, NOT REALLY,
ALICE.
125
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:37,401
'CAUSE IF THERE WAS NO AIR,
YOU JUST WOULDN'T WAKE UP.
126
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:40,037
WELL, RIGHT.
YOU'D SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH.
127
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:45,309
YOU KNOW, TILL THEY
PUT IT BACK ON AGAIN.
128
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:47,879
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN
ABOUT THE WATER, THOUGH.
129
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:50,314
WE TAKE THESE
FUNDAMENTAL THINGS
FOR GRANTED,
130
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:52,950
AND THEN SUDDENLY ONE DAY
THEY'RE JUST NOT THERE.
131
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,385
LIKE...
132
00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:58,188
OH, DEAR, LIKE DES LYNHAM
LEAVING THE BBC.
133
00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:01,058
YOU'RE STILL
UPSET ABOUT THAT?
YEAH.
134
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,326
COME HERE.
THAT'S IT.
135
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:05,462
OH, YOU KNOW, I'M OVER
THE INITIAL SHOCK,
136
00:06:05,464 --> 00:06:07,097
AND I'VE HAD TO ACCEPT
137
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:09,466
THAT HE'LL NEVER PRESENT
MATCH OF THE DAY AGAIN,
138
00:06:09,468 --> 00:06:10,701
BUT COME ON!
139
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:13,136
NO DES AT WIMBLEDON
MAKING JOKES ABOUT
140
00:06:13,138 --> 00:06:14,938
SUE BARKER'S
WEIRD HAIRCUT?
141
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,640
SHE'S GONNA GET AWAY
WITH THAT FRINGE
142
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:18,274
YEAR AFTER YEAR!
143
00:06:18,276 --> 00:06:20,777
YEAR AFTER YEAR
THE WIMBLEDON FINAL
144
00:06:20,779 --> 00:06:23,513
WILL BE PRESENTED
BY THE BRIDE OF CHUCKIE!
145
00:06:25,116 --> 00:06:27,316
THERE WILL BE WATER
AGAIN, ALICE,
146
00:06:27,318 --> 00:06:30,554
BUT AS FOR DES,
HE'S GONE FOREVER.
147
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,456
NOEL EDMUNDS
IS GONE, TOO.
148
00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:36,159
NO MORE MR. BLOBBY!
149
00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:37,794
NO MORE GUNK!
150
00:06:37,796 --> 00:06:40,396
OH, THANKS. YOU'VE REALLY
CHEERED ME UP NOW.
151
00:06:40,398 --> 00:06:41,698
DO YOU WANT A SWIG?
152
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:43,466
NO, I DON'T
DRINK ALCOHOL.
153
00:06:43,468 --> 00:06:45,401
THIS IS VODKA.
OH.
154
00:06:45,403 --> 00:06:47,369
THERE WE GO.
155
00:06:51,642 --> 00:06:54,209
WE'LL TRY TO
KEEP THIS MEETING SHORT,
156
00:06:54,211 --> 00:06:56,077
AS THE SMELL
REALLY IS INTOLERABLE.
157
00:06:56,079 --> 00:07:00,248
HAS ONE OF US
ACTUALLY DIED
AND NOT REALIZED?
158
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,284
I LIKE HAVING A BEARD.
159
00:07:02,286 --> 00:07:04,620
YOU KEEP FINDING
BITS OF DINNER IN IT.
160
00:07:04,622 --> 00:07:07,356
I CAN MAKE A MEAL
LAST AN ENTIRE EVENING.
161
00:07:07,358 --> 00:07:11,493
AND YOU GET SUCH
INTERESTING COMBINATIONS.
162
00:07:11,495 --> 00:07:14,496
RHUBARB AND GRILLED FISH.
163
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,633
SORRY I'M LATE.
164
00:07:17,635 --> 00:07:20,703
I MADE THE MISTAKE
OF GOING IN MY TOILET
THIS MORNING.
165
00:07:20,705 --> 00:07:23,103
IT HASN'T BEEN FLUSHED
FOR TEN DAYS.
166
00:07:23,105 --> 00:07:26,441
I'VE ONLY JUST
REGAINED CONSCIOUSNESS.
167
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,044
YOU'LL ALL BE PLEASED TO KNOW
168
00:07:30,046 --> 00:07:32,413
THAT I HAVE WRITTEN
A VERY STRONGLY WORDED LETTER
169
00:07:32,415 --> 00:07:34,181
TO THE CHAIRMAN OF
THE WATER COMPANY.
170
00:07:34,183 --> 00:07:37,017
BRAVO, MEIN FUHRER.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
171
00:07:37,019 --> 00:07:40,187
WELL, HOLD ONTO YOUR HAT.
172
00:07:40,189 --> 00:07:42,122
"DEAR SIR MICHAEL:
DIBLEY HAS NOW BEEN
173
00:07:42,124 --> 00:07:44,225
"WITHOUT WATER
FOR A FORTNIGHT,
174
00:07:44,227 --> 00:07:46,828
"WHICH IS CLEARLY--
WELL, PRETTY WELL--
175
00:07:46,830 --> 00:07:48,629
YOU KNOW,
LESS THAN SATISFACTORY."
176
00:07:48,631 --> 00:07:50,297
IS THAT IT?
177
00:07:50,299 --> 00:07:52,667
THAT IS PRETTY STRONG STUFF
TO A KNIGHT OF THE REALM.
178
00:07:52,669 --> 00:07:55,570
WELL, LUCKILY
I'VE WRITTEN MY OWN
179
00:07:55,572 --> 00:07:57,938
RATHER STRONGLY WORDED LETTER
TO THE CHAIRMAN.
180
00:07:57,940 --> 00:07:59,439
HOW STRONGLY WORDED?
181
00:07:59,441 --> 00:08:00,974
YOU'LL SEE.
182
00:08:00,976 --> 00:08:04,611
"DEAR SIR USELESS
BABOON'S BOTTOM:
183
00:08:04,613 --> 00:08:06,913
"I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW
THAT DOWN OUR WAY
184
00:08:06,915 --> 00:08:10,316
"YOU'RE ABOUT AS POPULAR
AS JUDAS ISCARIOT
185
00:08:10,318 --> 00:08:12,386
AT A DISCIPLE REUNION."
186
00:08:12,388 --> 00:08:14,521
AND YOU THINK
WE SHOULD SEND THAT
INSTEAD?
187
00:08:14,523 --> 00:08:16,356
JUST AS SOON AS I'VE CHECKED
188
00:08:16,358 --> 00:08:18,759
IF THERE'S A HYPHEN
IN "DICKHEAD," YEAH.
189
00:08:18,761 --> 00:08:22,396
WELL, I'M AFRAID
YOU'LL BE OUTVOTED.
190
00:08:22,398 --> 00:08:25,999
WHO THINKS THAT WE SHOULD
RESORT TO COUNTERPRODUCTIVE,
191
00:08:26,001 --> 00:08:28,568
POINTLESS PERSONAL ABUSE?
192
00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:29,836
ABSOLUTELY.
193
00:08:29,838 --> 00:08:33,039
OH, VERY WELL.
BE IT ON YOUR OWN HEAD.
194
00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:36,475
MOVING ON, ANY IDEAS
FOR THE MILLENNIUM STATUE?
195
00:08:36,477 --> 00:08:38,644
OH, GOODY. I'VE BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.
196
00:08:38,646 --> 00:08:41,914
GLORIOUS DIBLEY
IN ALL HER GLORIOUS GLORY!
197
00:08:41,916 --> 00:08:44,016
WHO'S GONNA GO FIRST?
ME.
198
00:08:44,018 --> 00:08:46,952
WHEN YOU SAID
FAMOUS PEOPLE
FROM DIBLEY'S PAST,
199
00:08:46,954 --> 00:08:49,121
DOES THAT INCLUDE
MURDERERS?
200
00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:51,490
I'D RATHER IT WASN'T
A MURDERER,
201
00:08:51,492 --> 00:08:53,358
IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT
WITH YOU, OWEN.
202
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:56,261
RIGHT. WELL, THAT'S
MY FAMILY OUT, THEN.
203
00:08:56,263 --> 00:08:59,665
MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-
GREAT-GRANDFATHER,
204
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,266
HE WAS A FAMOUS MAN.
205
00:09:01,268 --> 00:09:02,735
REALLY, JIM?
206
00:09:02,737 --> 00:09:04,937
OH, YES. HE SAILED
THE SEVEN SEAS
207
00:09:04,939 --> 00:09:07,072
IN SEARCH OF
GOLD AND TREASURE.
208
00:09:07,074 --> 00:09:09,040
WOW! WHAT DID
HE BRING BACK?
209
00:09:09,042 --> 00:09:11,643
TYPHUS.
210
00:09:11,645 --> 00:09:13,511
THEN THERE'S
ELIZABETH I.
211
00:09:13,513 --> 00:09:16,314
SHE STAYED AT AN INN
TWENTY YARDS SEVEN INCHES
212
00:09:16,316 --> 00:09:17,782
FROM THERE WE'RE
SITTING RIGHT NOW.
213
00:09:17,784 --> 00:09:19,617
THAT'S FANTASTIC, FRANK!
214
00:09:19,619 --> 00:09:21,352
YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT
215
00:09:21,354 --> 00:09:24,388
THE VIRGIN
"I DON'T THINK SO"
QUEEN HERSELF
216
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,257
ACTUALLY SLEPT IN DIBLEY?
217
00:09:26,259 --> 00:09:28,993
NOT EXACTLY.
SHE GOT FOOD POISONING
218
00:09:28,995 --> 00:09:30,895
AND SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT
VOMITING.
219
00:09:30,897 --> 00:09:34,031
OH, THAT'S A LOVELY THEME
FOR A STATUE, ISN'T IT?
220
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:37,001
"QUEEN ELIZABETH,
THE TUDOR CHUNDERER."
221
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:40,104
SO--CAROL VORDERMAN
IT IS, THEN.
222
00:09:40,106 --> 00:09:42,707
EITHER THAT OR WE
DUMP THE STATUE ENTIRELY
223
00:09:42,709 --> 00:09:45,308
AND SPEND THE CASH ON
200 BOTTLES OF MINERAL WATER
224
00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,877
SO WE CAN HAVE A BATH.
225
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,979
ALL THOSE IN FAVOUR.
226
00:09:48,981 --> 00:09:52,282
ARMPITS! DOWN, PLEASE!
227
00:09:52,284 --> 00:09:53,750
"MOTION CARRIED."
228
00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:56,119
TRY NOT TO USE
THE WORD MOTION
229
00:09:56,121 --> 00:09:57,955
OR I'LL FAINT AGAIN.
230
00:09:57,957 --> 00:10:00,123
MOVING ON...
231
00:10:02,661 --> 00:10:05,228
Alice: THANK GOODNESS FOR
THE HALLOWEEN PARTY LAST YEAR.
232
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,564
I'M DOWN TO
MY LAST CLEAN OUTFIT.
233
00:10:12,204 --> 00:10:14,705
Geraldine:
YEAH, ME TOO.
234
00:10:14,707 --> 00:10:17,173
I'M THROUGH
MY ENTIRE WARDROBE.
235
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,452
HUGO SAYS THAT
YOU'VE ALL DECIDED
236
00:10:30,454 --> 00:10:32,221
NOT TO HAVE A STATUE.
237
00:10:32,223 --> 00:10:34,089
YEP, 'FRAID SO, ALICE.
238
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,858
OH.
239
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,093
THERE DOESN'T SEEM
TO BE ANYONE IN DIBLEY
240
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,495
WORTH REMEMBERING.
241
00:10:39,497 --> 00:10:41,497
NOT EVEN THAT MAN
WHO DISCOVERED BALI?
242
00:10:41,499 --> 00:10:42,798
HE LIVED HERE.
243
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,135
NO, HE DISCOVERED BALI
LAST YEAR ON HOLIDAY.
244
00:10:46,137 --> 00:10:48,838
THAT'S NOT QUITE
SO INTERESTING.
245
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,940
WHAT ABOUT MY UNCLE TREVOR?
246
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,542
HE FOUNDED
THE SUNDAY TIMES.
247
00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:54,243
IS THAT TRUE?
248
00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:56,811
YEAH, I THINK SO.
GREAT!
249
00:10:56,813 --> 00:10:58,580
NO, NO,
WAIT A SECOND.
250
00:10:58,582 --> 00:11:01,783
HE FOUND THE SUNDAY TIMES.
YEAH, THAT'S IT.
251
00:11:01,785 --> 00:11:04,953
AUNTIE PERKIE HAD LOST IT,
AND HE FOUND IT IN A GUEST ROOM.
252
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:07,255
THAT'S NOT QUITE SO GOOD,
IS IT?
253
00:11:07,257 --> 00:11:09,390
NO, NO.
( phone rings )
254
00:11:09,392 --> 00:11:11,459
OH, I CAN'T--
LET ME.
255
00:11:14,665 --> 00:11:17,231
HI. VICARAGE,
HOME TO GERRY GRANGER,
256
00:11:17,233 --> 00:11:19,634
GOD'S MOST BODACIOUS BABE.
257
00:11:20,771 --> 00:11:23,572
IT'S THE WATER COMPANY.
THEY GOT YOUR LETTER.
258
00:11:23,574 --> 00:11:25,774
I HOPE IT WASN'T TOO RUDE.
259
00:11:25,776 --> 00:11:28,142
THEY SAY YOU MIGHT
BE INTERESTED TO KNOW
260
00:11:28,144 --> 00:11:31,211
THERE'S ONLY ONE "D"
IN PEDERAST.
261
00:11:31,213 --> 00:11:32,646
YEAH...
262
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:36,183
AND THEY'RE NOT SURE
KNOB-GUZZLER IS A REAL WORD.
263
00:11:36,185 --> 00:11:39,486
A MAN'S COMING TO TALK TO US
TOMORROW EVENING--
YEAH?
264
00:11:39,488 --> 00:11:42,155
ABOUT THE LONG-TERM
SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEM.
265
00:11:42,157 --> 00:11:45,025
POWER TO THE PEOPLE!
266
00:11:45,027 --> 00:11:46,594
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA--OOH! ♪
267
00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:48,261
♪ DA-DA-DA-DA-DA--OOH! ♪
268
00:11:48,263 --> 00:11:50,330
YEAH, THE VICAR'S
DELIGHTED.
269
00:11:50,332 --> 00:11:53,701
SHE'S DANCING AROUND.
YOU SHOULD SEE HER.
270
00:11:53,703 --> 00:11:57,571
IT'S LOVELY TO SEE
A PUMPKIN SO HAPPY.
271
00:11:58,674 --> 00:12:01,241
FIRST, I'M SURE
WE'D ALL LIKE TO
272
00:12:01,243 --> 00:12:02,743
THANK MR. BADCOCK
FOR COMING.
273
00:12:02,745 --> 00:12:05,512
AND I'M SURE MR. NEWITT
DIDN'T MEAN TO SPIT AT YOU
274
00:12:05,514 --> 00:12:06,579
ON YOUR ARRIVAL.
275
00:12:06,581 --> 00:12:08,715
ALSO, I HOPE YOU DIDN'T FIND
276
00:12:08,717 --> 00:12:10,817
THE BURNING EFFIGY OF YOUR BOSS
277
00:12:10,819 --> 00:12:12,785
TOO DISCONCERTING.
278
00:12:12,787 --> 00:12:14,020
THANK YOU.
NATURALLY,
279
00:12:14,022 --> 00:12:15,888
WE APOLOGIZE FOR
THE WATER SHORTAGE.
280
00:12:15,890 --> 00:12:17,690
( all muttering )
281
00:12:17,692 --> 00:12:19,458
AS YOU CAN SEE
FROM THIS MODEL,
282
00:12:19,460 --> 00:12:23,996
YOU LIVE IN AN AREA
OF HIGH POPULATION GROWTH,
283
00:12:23,998 --> 00:12:26,232
AND SO, TRADITIONAL
WATER SUPPLIES
284
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:28,000
ARE FAST BECOMING
INADEQUATE.
285
00:12:28,002 --> 00:12:29,769
LOOK, LOOK. NO, NO.
286
00:12:29,771 --> 00:12:32,105
I-I RECOGNIZE
THAT LITTLE HOUSE.
287
00:12:32,107 --> 00:12:33,472
AWW.
288
00:12:33,474 --> 00:12:35,775
THAT'S WHERE
I HAD IT OFF THIS MORNING.
289
00:12:35,777 --> 00:12:39,045
AND THAT'S WHERE
MY GRAN WAS MURDERED.
290
00:12:39,047 --> 00:12:41,613
WE HID HER BODY
UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS.
291
00:12:41,615 --> 00:12:43,348
YOU CAN STILL SMELL HER
292
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:45,016
WHEN THE WIND'S
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
293
00:12:45,018 --> 00:12:47,418
THE LONG AND THE SHORT
OF IT IS, I'M PLEASED TO SAY,
294
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:48,920
THAT WE'VE FOUND A SOLUTION
295
00:12:48,922 --> 00:12:50,488
WHICH SHOULD ENSURE
PLENTIFUL WATER
296
00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:52,190
FOR THE NEXT CENTURY,
297
00:12:52,192 --> 00:12:53,892
IN THE FORM OF
A NEW RESERVOIR.
298
00:12:53,894 --> 00:12:56,228
TERRIFIC!
AH, VERY GOOD!
299
00:12:56,230 --> 00:12:58,230
IT'S PROBABLY EASIEST TO
SHOW YOU WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT
300
00:12:58,232 --> 00:12:59,697
IN A SIMPLE DEMONSTRATION.
301
00:13:16,183 --> 00:13:18,649
OH, MY GOD,
WE'RE ALL GONNA DROWN!
302
00:13:18,651 --> 00:13:20,985
WE'LL BE SITTING AT HOME
WATCHING SCOOBY-DOO,
303
00:13:20,987 --> 00:13:22,820
AND THEN SUDDENLY
THIS MASSIVE BUCKET OF WATER
304
00:13:22,822 --> 00:13:24,088
IS GONNA FLOOD THE VILLAGE!
305
00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:26,490
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
306
00:13:26,492 --> 00:13:29,093
WE HAVE PLANNING PERMISSION
AND GOVERNMENT BACKING.
307
00:13:29,095 --> 00:13:31,862
THE PLANS HAVE BEEN AVAILABLE
FOR YOU TO LOOK AT FOR MONTHS.
308
00:13:31,864 --> 00:13:34,364
WHERE?!
IN A CUPBOARD.
309
00:13:34,366 --> 00:13:36,200
IN OUR BASEMENT
310
00:13:36,202 --> 00:13:38,068
IN THE HONG KONG OFFICE.
311
00:13:38,070 --> 00:13:40,537
NATURALLY, ALL DETAILED
OBJECTIONS WILL BE CONSIDERED
312
00:13:40,539 --> 00:13:42,639
PROVIDED THEY'RE
REGISTERED BY...
313
00:13:42,641 --> 00:13:45,075
AH. LUNCHTIME TODAY.
314
00:13:45,077 --> 00:13:47,544
NO! JUST YOU WAIT, WE'RE GONNA
FIGHT YOU ALL THE WAY ON THIS!
315
00:13:47,546 --> 00:13:49,046
SO BE IT, DEAR LADY.
316
00:13:49,048 --> 00:13:50,580
WORK BEGINS IN ONE MONTH,
317
00:13:50,582 --> 00:13:52,148
AND I CAN ASSURE YOU,
WE ARE VERY DETERMINED
318
00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:54,250
AND WILL BE READY FOR
ANYTHING YOU THROW AT US.
319
00:13:57,956 --> 00:14:00,256
HE WASN'T READY
FOR THAT.
320
00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:05,428
HOW'S THE PETITION GOING,
EVERYONE?
321
00:14:05,430 --> 00:14:08,231
WE NEED 10,000 SIGNATURES
BY NEXT WEEK.
322
00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,366
HERE'S A START.
RIGHT.
323
00:14:10,368 --> 00:14:13,068
"BEST WISHES,
HAROLD McMILLAN."
324
00:14:13,070 --> 00:14:15,404
NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND.
325
00:14:15,406 --> 00:14:17,607
GOT BENNY HILL,
AS WELL.
326
00:14:17,609 --> 00:14:19,908
HUGO, I NEED SIGNATURES
OF LIVING PEOPLE.
327
00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:21,644
NO, NO. NO, NO.
328
00:14:21,646 --> 00:14:24,514
I'VE GOT 500
THIS AFTERNOON.
329
00:14:24,516 --> 00:14:26,315
THAT'S FANTASTIC, JIM!
330
00:14:26,317 --> 00:14:28,049
ALL OPPOSED TO
THE RESERVOIR?
331
00:14:28,051 --> 00:14:29,584
NO, NO. NO, NO.
332
00:14:29,586 --> 00:14:32,187
THEY DIDN'T GIVE A TOSS
FOR THE RESERVOIR,
333
00:14:32,189 --> 00:14:34,222
BUT I ASKED 'EM TO SIGN
334
00:14:34,224 --> 00:14:36,090
IF THEY THOUGHT
CLAUDIA SCHIFFER
335
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:39,127
SHOULD GET HER TITS OUT
MORE OFTEN.
336
00:14:42,166 --> 00:14:46,168
RIGHT. I SEE YOU'VE MANAGED
TO SIGN IT TEN TIMES, OWEN.
337
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:49,804
IT'S A CAUSE I FEEL
VERY PASSIONATELY ABOUT.
338
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:52,040
VICAR, MUCH AS
I APPLAUD YOUR EFFORTS,
339
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:54,442
I FEAR WE HAVE TO ACCEPT
THE COMPENSATION
340
00:14:54,444 --> 00:14:56,077
THE WATER COMPANY
OFFER US.
341
00:14:56,079 --> 00:14:57,779
HOWEVER DERISORY THAT IS.
342
00:14:57,781 --> 00:14:59,981
I THOUGHT THEY OFFERED YOU
FOUR MILLION POUNDS.
343
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:02,384
WHAT?!
FOUR MILLION?!
344
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:03,750
YES, WELL, UM,
345
00:15:03,752 --> 00:15:05,852
DO YOU THINK
I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT?
346
00:15:05,854 --> 00:15:08,222
WELL, YOU WERE DANCING
AROUND THE ROSE GARDEN, SINGING.
347
00:15:08,224 --> 00:15:12,293
♪ MONEY, MONEY, MONEY ♪
348
00:15:12,295 --> 00:15:14,395
YOU TREACHEROUS GIT!
349
00:15:14,397 --> 00:15:17,698
YOU'D SACRIFICE THIS VILLAGE
FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GREED!
350
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,766
HAVE YOU NO RESPECT
FOR TRADITION?
351
00:15:19,768 --> 00:15:21,068
WELL SAID, OWEN!
352
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:23,770
FOR CENTURIES MY FAMILY'S
BEEN MASSACRING DEER,
353
00:15:23,772 --> 00:15:25,172
STAGING COCKFIGHTS
354
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:27,040
AND GASSING FOXES
IN THIS VALLEY,
355
00:15:27,042 --> 00:15:29,142
AND WE DON'T INTEND
STOPPING NOW!
356
00:15:29,144 --> 00:15:31,345
LESS WELL SAID, OWEN.
357
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:35,649
INCIDENTALLY, THIS IS WHAT
YOU'D BE GETTING FOR YOUR FARM.
358
00:15:37,220 --> 00:15:40,853
♪ WHO WANTS TO BE
A MILLIONAIRE ♪
359
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:42,988
♪ I DO! ♪
360
00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:45,625
YOU'RE RIGHT, DAVE.
DIBLEY'S A DUMP.
361
00:15:45,627 --> 00:15:47,694
FOR GOODNESS SAKES,
OWEN.
362
00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:50,062
THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE WHO DON'T
OWN THEIR OWN PROPERTIES.
363
00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:53,566
THEY WOULDN'T GET
ANY COMPENSATION AT ALL.
364
00:15:53,568 --> 00:15:54,867
WELL, SOD 'EM.
365
00:15:54,869 --> 00:15:59,539
NOW WILL YOU SLEEP WITH ME?
I CAN PAY YOU BIG-TIME, BABE.
366
00:16:00,808 --> 00:16:02,408
I'M NOT LEAVING, VICAR.
367
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:05,678
I'VE LIVED IN MY COTTAGE
ALL MY LIFE.
368
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,614
EXCEPT FOR THE WAR,
OF COURSE...
369
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:09,815
I KNOW, FRANK.
YOU'RE A HERO.
370
00:16:09,817 --> 00:16:14,119
...WHEN I HID IN THE WOODS
TO AVOID THE CALL-UP.
371
00:16:15,289 --> 00:16:19,591
JUST ME AND A YOUNG FARMHAND
CALLED ALISTAIR.
372
00:16:19,593 --> 00:16:21,460
NO, NO. NO, NO.
373
00:16:21,462 --> 00:16:23,629
WHERE WOULD WE
MOVE TO, ANYWAY?
374
00:16:23,631 --> 00:16:25,530
I'LL TELL YOU EXACTLY.
375
00:16:25,532 --> 00:16:27,599
THEY WANT TO REHOUSE YOU
TWENTY MILES AWAY
376
00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,000
IN A NEW DEVELOPMENT.
377
00:16:29,002 --> 00:16:32,604
"TWILIGHT TOWERS. HAPPY HOUSING
FOR THE NEARLY DEAD."
378
00:16:32,606 --> 00:16:36,841
ACRE AFTER ACRE
OF SOULLESS BOXES.
379
00:16:36,843 --> 00:16:38,510
LOOK, THERE'S
CENTRAL HEATING!
380
00:16:38,512 --> 00:16:41,580
YEAH, AND AN
INSIDE TOILET!
381
00:16:41,582 --> 00:16:43,749
BUT SURELY, LADS,
YOU DON'T WANT--
382
00:16:43,751 --> 00:16:45,617
REMEMBER
LAST CHRISTMAS?
383
00:16:45,619 --> 00:16:47,352
I WAS FROZEN
TO THE LOO SEAT
384
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,520
FOR THE WHOLE
CHRISTMAS WEEK.
385
00:16:49,522 --> 00:16:52,189
YES, I REMEMBER THAT.
386
00:16:52,191 --> 00:16:55,459
I HAD TO WEE
THROUGH YOUR LEGS.
387
00:16:58,030 --> 00:16:59,630
LET'S GET THIS RIGHT.
388
00:16:59,632 --> 00:17:02,132
AFTER MATURE CONSIDERATION,
389
00:17:02,134 --> 00:17:04,568
YOU'RE ALL TELLING ME THAT
YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO MOVE?
390
00:17:04,570 --> 00:17:07,772
SOULLESS BOX,
HERE I COME!
391
00:17:07,774 --> 00:17:09,774
I SEE.
392
00:17:09,776 --> 00:17:11,909
WELL, I'M SORRY.
393
00:17:11,911 --> 00:17:15,045
THIS IS A SAD, SAD MOMENT.
394
00:17:15,047 --> 00:17:17,615
♪ OH, HAPPY DAY ♪
395
00:17:17,617 --> 00:17:19,550
♪ OH, HAPPY DAY ♪
396
00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:22,019
♪ OH, HAPPY DAY ♪
397
00:17:22,021 --> 00:17:24,188
♪ OH, HAPPY DAY ♪
♪ OH, HAPPY DAY ♪
398
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,122
♪ WHEN JESUS WASHED ♪
399
00:17:26,124 --> 00:17:28,391
♪ WHEN JESUS WASHED ♪
♪ WHEN JESUS WASHED ♪
400
00:17:28,393 --> 00:17:31,761
♪ HE WASHED MY SINS AWAY ♪
401
00:17:31,763 --> 00:17:33,430
♪ OH, HAPPY DAY ♪
♪ OH, HAPPY DAY
402
00:17:33,432 --> 00:17:37,701
♪ HE TAUGHT ME HOW ♪
403
00:17:37,703 --> 00:17:41,204
♪ TO WATCH AND PRAY... ♪
404
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,740
David:
CHAMPAGNE, JIM?
405
00:17:43,742 --> 00:17:45,508
NO, NO. NO, NO. NO.
406
00:17:45,510 --> 00:17:48,044
NO, NO. YES, PLEASE.
407
00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:52,482
I NEVER SAY NO, NO, NO, NO
TO A GLASS OF BUBBLY.
408
00:17:52,484 --> 00:17:53,817
HA HA HA HA!
409
00:17:53,819 --> 00:17:57,554
OH, NOW, NOW,
MISS GRUMPY CASSOCKS,
410
00:17:57,556 --> 00:17:59,088
IT'S NOT THE END
OF THE WORLD, YOU KNOW.
411
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:02,491
Alice:
FRANK SAYS YOU'VE GOT
SOME EXCITING NEWS!
412
00:18:02,493 --> 00:18:03,925
UM, MY GUESS IS,
413
00:18:03,927 --> 00:18:07,629
ANTHEA TURNER'S COMING BACK
TO BLUE PETER.
414
00:18:07,631 --> 00:18:10,399
NO, IT'S THE RESERVOIR.
IT'S STILL HAPPENING.
415
00:18:10,401 --> 00:18:12,334
BUT WE'RE ALL GETTING
LOADS OF MONEY TO MOVE.
416
00:18:12,336 --> 00:18:13,602
YES!
417
00:18:13,604 --> 00:18:14,737
OH, NICE!
418
00:18:14,739 --> 00:18:16,772
WHERE ARE THEY BUILDING
THE NEW DIBLEY?
419
00:18:16,774 --> 00:18:19,941
NO, NO, THERE'S
NO NEW DIBLEY.
420
00:18:19,943 --> 00:18:22,077
OH.
421
00:18:22,079 --> 00:18:23,746
BUT WE ARE ALL MOVING TOGETHER.
422
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:27,649
VICAR?
423
00:18:27,651 --> 00:18:30,018
I'M AFRAID NOT,
ALICE. NO.
424
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:32,421
I'LL JUST HAVE TO GO
WHERE I'M SENT.
425
00:18:32,423 --> 00:18:35,189
COULD BE THE BELGIAN CONGO,
COULD BE STAINES.
426
00:18:35,191 --> 00:18:38,459
FINGERS CROSSED
FOR THE BELGIAN CONGO.
427
00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:42,129
BUT THAT DOESN'T SOUND
VERY NICE AT ALL.
428
00:18:42,131 --> 00:18:46,734
MR. HORTON,
I'LL HARDLY EVER
SEE YOU AGAIN.
429
00:18:46,736 --> 00:18:49,003
WHAT'S NICE ABOUT THAT?
430
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:52,206
WELL, FROM
MY POINT OF VIEW...
431
00:18:52,208 --> 00:18:55,510
WE WON'T BE ABLE
TO DISCUSS WORLD AFFAIRS
EACH MORNING.
432
00:18:55,512 --> 00:18:58,178
NO. I'LL MISS THAT.
433
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,214
AND ANALYSE
THE STICK MARKET.
434
00:19:00,216 --> 00:19:02,417
STOCK MARKET.
435
00:19:02,419 --> 00:19:05,787
WHILE YOU BOUNCE
BABY GERALDINE ON YOUR KNEE.
436
00:19:07,023 --> 00:19:08,656
NO.
437
00:19:08,658 --> 00:19:11,458
STILL, PEOPLE
HAVE ALWAYS LEFT DIBLEY,
438
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:13,894
IT DOESN'T MEAN
THEY LOSE TOUCH.
439
00:19:13,896 --> 00:19:16,630
MY BROTHER SAID
IF THEY DIDN'T LEAVE DIBLEY,
440
00:19:16,632 --> 00:19:18,965
I'D BORE THEM TO DEATH.
441
00:19:18,967 --> 00:19:21,468
YOU CAN'T BORE A PERSON
TO DEATH, FRANK.
442
00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:23,403
PATRICK MOORE TRIES, BUT...
443
00:19:23,405 --> 00:19:26,005
FRANK BORED HIS PARENTS
TO DEATH.
444
00:19:26,007 --> 00:19:28,274
THAT WAS NEVER PROVED.
445
00:19:29,745 --> 00:19:34,013
I JUST HAPPENED TO BE OUTLINING
PARISH COUNCIL PROCEDURE,
446
00:19:34,015 --> 00:19:36,416
WHEN, HAND IN HAND,
447
00:19:36,418 --> 00:19:40,620
THEY LEAPT OUT OF
THE OPEN WINDOW.
448
00:19:41,657 --> 00:19:43,089
YOU KNOW,
449
00:19:43,091 --> 00:19:45,659
YOU'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE
IN THE WHOLE WORLD
450
00:19:45,661 --> 00:19:49,094
THAT DON'T FIND ME
UNUTTERABLY BORING.
451
00:19:50,698 --> 00:19:54,500
YOU'VE STUCK WITH ME
THROUGH THICK AND THIN,
452
00:19:54,502 --> 00:19:58,637
GOOD TIMES AND BAD TIMES,
COME RAINY RAIN,
453
00:19:58,639 --> 00:20:00,973
COME SHINY SUN.
454
00:20:00,975 --> 00:20:04,677
QUIT WHILE
YOU'RE ALIVE,
FRANK.
455
00:20:04,679 --> 00:20:06,679
TO TELL THE TRUTH,
456
00:20:06,681 --> 00:20:09,381
I DON'T REALLY
WANT TO GO.
457
00:20:09,383 --> 00:20:12,084
I SEE.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, OWEN?
458
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:14,019
AS FAR AS I CAN SEE,
459
00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:15,955
THE ONLY PEOPLE
WHO DON'T WANT TO LEAVE DIBLEY
460
00:20:15,957 --> 00:20:18,691
ARE SAD, LONELY LOSERS.
461
00:20:18,693 --> 00:20:20,593
LIKE YOU.
462
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,027
THAT'S RIGHT.
463
00:20:23,029 --> 00:20:25,463
NO, SO...
464
00:20:25,465 --> 00:20:27,365
I'D RATHER STAY.
465
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,066
OH, NONSENSE.
466
00:20:29,068 --> 00:20:31,769
I, FOR ONE, CERTAINLY
WON'T MISS DIBLEY.
467
00:20:31,771 --> 00:20:34,372
SOME PEOPLE THINK HELL
IS LISTENING TO CELINE DION--
468
00:20:34,374 --> 00:20:35,907
FOR ME,
IT'S HAVING TO ATTEND
469
00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:38,175
ALL THOSE GHASTLY
PARISH COUNCIL MEETINGS.
470
00:20:38,177 --> 00:20:40,778
WHICH YOU'VE NEVER MISSED.
471
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:42,814
OH, RUBBISH.
472
00:20:42,816 --> 00:20:44,315
THIRTY-SIX YEARS AGO
473
00:20:44,317 --> 00:20:46,350
WHEN MY WIFE WAS
IN LOBAR WITH HUGO,
474
00:20:46,352 --> 00:20:50,522
DID I GO TO THE VILLAGE HALL
FOR A MEETING? I DID NOT.
475
00:20:50,524 --> 00:20:52,189
NO, NO, NO.
WE CAME WITH YOU
476
00:20:52,191 --> 00:20:54,258
AND HAD THE MEETING
IN THE MATERNITY WARD.
477
00:20:54,260 --> 00:20:57,794
MRS. HORTON WANTED TO
NAME THE BABY STRAIGHT AWAY,
478
00:20:57,796 --> 00:20:59,530
BUT MR. HORTON SAID
SHE'D HAVE TO WAIT
479
00:20:59,532 --> 00:21:01,498
TILL "ANY OTHER BUSINESS?"
480
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:03,734
THERE WAS A LOT
TO GET THROUGH!
481
00:21:03,736 --> 00:21:05,435
A COMMUNITY TO RUN!
482
00:21:05,437 --> 00:21:08,204
A VILLAGE DOESN'T JUST GO--
483
00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:11,241
--AWAY, YOU KNOW.
484
00:21:11,243 --> 00:21:14,678
I WAS REJECTED BY
THE FIRST FOUR PARISHES
485
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,212
I WAS SENT TO.
486
00:21:16,214 --> 00:21:18,015
THE FIRST ONE WANTED A MAN.
487
00:21:18,017 --> 00:21:20,450
THE SECOND ONE WANTED
A MAN WITH A FULL BEARD
488
00:21:20,452 --> 00:21:22,753
AND MOUSTACHE, JUST TO
CHECK IT WAS A MAN.
489
00:21:22,755 --> 00:21:25,455
THE THIRD ONE INSISTED
ON A FULL PHYSICAL EXAMINATION
490
00:21:25,457 --> 00:21:27,157
JUST IN CASE
A GIRL SLIPPED THROUGH
491
00:21:27,159 --> 00:21:29,026
WITH A FALSE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE.
492
00:21:29,028 --> 00:21:30,961
THE FOURTH ONE
WANTED A RABBI,
493
00:21:30,963 --> 00:21:33,395
BUT I THINK THAT WAS
A MIX-UP WITH THE DOCUMENTS.
494
00:21:33,397 --> 00:21:35,064
AND THE FIFTH ONE--
495
00:21:35,066 --> 00:21:36,732
A STRANGE LITTLE VILLAGE,
496
00:21:36,734 --> 00:21:39,535
THE INBREEDING CAPITAL
OF THE WORLD--
497
00:21:39,537 --> 00:21:42,237
ACCEPTED ME WITH OPEN ARMS
498
00:21:42,239 --> 00:21:44,674
AND BECAME MY FAMILY.
499
00:21:44,676 --> 00:21:46,842
AWWW...
500
00:21:46,844 --> 00:21:49,411
WHERE WAS THAT, THEN?
501
00:21:50,815 --> 00:21:53,315
HERE, ALICE. HERE.
502
00:21:53,317 --> 00:21:56,452
OH, RIGHT.
503
00:21:56,454 --> 00:22:00,222
I LOVE THIS VILLAGE.
DON'T ASK ME WHY.
504
00:22:00,224 --> 00:22:02,558
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
505
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,728
BECAUSE IT'S A REAL
COUNTRY VILLAGE.
506
00:22:05,730 --> 00:22:07,896
BECAUSE WE RANGE
FROM THE MILDLY BIZARRE
507
00:22:07,898 --> 00:22:09,998
TO THE DANGEROUSLY ODD--FRANK--
508
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:14,836
AND BECAUSE WE LIVE
SIDE BY SIDE, YEAR AFTER YEAR.
509
00:22:14,838 --> 00:22:17,606
AND WE'RE HAPPY TOGETHER!
510
00:22:17,608 --> 00:22:18,807
THAT'S RIGHT!
511
00:22:18,809 --> 00:22:21,610
AND THAT'S WHY WE MUST FIGHT
TO SAVE DIBLEY!
512
00:22:21,612 --> 00:22:23,912
THIS OTHER EDEN,
513
00:22:23,914 --> 00:22:25,814
DEMI-PARADISE,
514
00:22:25,816 --> 00:22:28,316
THIS HAPPY BREED OF MEN,
THIS LITTLE WORLD,
515
00:22:28,318 --> 00:22:32,153
THIS PRECIOUS STONE
SET IN THE SILVER SEA...
516
00:22:32,155 --> 00:22:35,490
THIS BLESSED PLOT,
THIS EARTH, THIS REALM,
517
00:22:35,492 --> 00:22:37,859
THIS...DIBLEY!
518
00:22:37,861 --> 00:22:40,461
WELL!
519
00:22:47,603 --> 00:22:48,802
HEH HEH! HEH HEH!
520
00:22:48,804 --> 00:22:51,071
DID YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?
521
00:22:51,073 --> 00:22:53,641
NOT A WORD.
522
00:22:53,643 --> 00:22:56,110
VERY MOVING SPEECH,
FATHER.
523
00:22:56,112 --> 00:22:58,012
THANK YOU.
524
00:22:58,014 --> 00:22:59,713
I THOUGHT IT WAS
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
525
00:22:59,715 --> 00:23:01,414
I'M PROUD OF YOU.
526
00:23:01,416 --> 00:23:04,718
IN FACT,
CAN I KISS YOU,
FATHER?
527
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,587
I DON'T THINK
THAT'S NECESSARY.
528
00:23:07,589 --> 00:23:09,723
JUST ONCE?
529
00:23:09,725 --> 00:23:11,992
I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
530
00:23:11,994 --> 00:23:14,895
OKAY. DON'T MAKE
A HABIT OF IT.
531
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,533
THANK YOU.
532
00:23:22,303 --> 00:23:25,571
Geraldine: LET ME JUST
GET THIS STRAIGHT--
533
00:23:25,573 --> 00:23:27,874
YOU'RE GONNA
DONATE EVERY PENNY
534
00:23:27,876 --> 00:23:30,643
FROM THE RELEASE
OF YOUR NEW SINGLE
TO OUR CAMPAIGN?
535
00:23:30,645 --> 00:23:32,979
THAT'S FANTASTIC!
536
00:23:32,981 --> 00:23:37,317
IT'LL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.
THANK YOU SO MUCH. BYE.
537
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:39,752
BRASS.
538
00:23:41,223 --> 00:23:44,290
I'VE HAD ANOTHER
SUPERB IDEA, VICAR.
539
00:23:44,292 --> 00:23:45,825
DON'T TELL ME.
540
00:23:45,827 --> 00:23:48,294
THIS ONE INVOLVES
HUNTING WATER BOARD OFFICIALS
541
00:23:48,296 --> 00:23:50,596
WITH HIGH VELOCITY RIFLES
AND BLOOD HOUNDS?
542
00:23:50,598 --> 00:23:52,265
NO, WITH THIS ONE,
543
00:23:52,267 --> 00:23:54,933
THERE'S AN ABSOLUTE MINIMUM
OF SICKENING VIOLENCE.
544
00:23:54,935 --> 00:23:56,401
THANK GOD FOR THAT.
545
00:23:56,403 --> 00:23:58,170
WE GET DIBLEY CLASSIFIED
546
00:23:58,172 --> 00:24:01,439
AS A SITE OF NATURAL
ENVIRONMENTAL IMPORTANCE.
547
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:03,175
HOW DO WE DO THAT?
548
00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:05,344
WE FIND A SPECIES OF ANIMAL
549
00:24:05,346 --> 00:24:08,247
THAT ISN'T FOUND
ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD.
550
00:24:08,249 --> 00:24:10,782
I THINK FINDING
A NEW ANIMAL IN DIBLEY
551
00:24:10,784 --> 00:24:13,685
IS ABOUT AS LIKELY AS FINDING
INTELLECTUAL LIFE ON IBIZA.
552
00:24:15,089 --> 00:24:16,755
JUST WHERE YOU'RE WRONG,
VICAR!
553
00:24:16,757 --> 00:24:19,291
DIBLEY COULD BE,
FOR INSTANCE,
554
00:24:19,293 --> 00:24:21,393
THE ONLY PLACE ON EARTH
555
00:24:21,395 --> 00:24:24,696
WITH A GENUINE
THREE-LEGGED COW.
556
00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:27,532
YOU'VE MANAGED TO BREED
A THREE-LEGGED COW?
557
00:24:27,534 --> 00:24:28,833
I'M VERY CLOSE.
558
00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:31,535
I'VE GOT A FOUR-LEGGED COW
AND A SHARP AXE.
559
00:24:33,940 --> 00:24:37,341
THAT'S WHERE THE SMALL AMOUNT
OF SICKENING VIOLENCE COMES IN.
560
00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:38,542
I SEE.
561
00:24:38,544 --> 00:24:40,077
OR WE COULD DISCOVER
562
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:42,046
THE WORLD'S ONLY
SHORT-NOSED BADGER.
563
00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:43,781
ALL IT WOULD TAKE
IS A LONG-NOSED BADGER
564
00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:46,217
AND A BIG PAIR OF SECATEURS.
565
00:24:46,219 --> 00:24:48,953
I THINK I RECOGNIZE THE PATTERN
THAT'S EMERGING HERE.
566
00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,088
OR WE COULD QUICKLY BREED
567
00:24:51,090 --> 00:24:53,925
THE WORLD'S ONLY
GENUINE SHEEPDOG.
568
00:24:53,927 --> 00:24:56,160
ALL WE NEED IS A SHEEP, A DOG,
569
00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:59,263
A ROMANTIC CANDLE-LIT DINNER...
570
00:24:59,265 --> 00:25:01,999
AND AN ANIMAL CONDOM SHORTAGE.
571
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:03,867
OWEN, BYE-BYE.
OFF YOU GO.
572
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,468
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
573
00:25:05,470 --> 00:25:06,937
JUST YOU WAIT--
574
00:25:06,939 --> 00:25:10,006
I HAVEN'T FINISHED
WITH THIS ONE.
575
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,607
OWEN.
MR. HORTON.
576
00:25:11,609 --> 00:25:13,543
WHERE'S HE OFF TO?
OH, IGNORE HIM.
577
00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:16,046
HE'S JUST TRYING
TO MUTILATE THINGS,
AS USUAL.
578
00:25:16,048 --> 00:25:17,613
DAVID, WE HAVE
GOT TO COME UP
579
00:25:17,615 --> 00:25:19,816
WITH A FANTASTIC
ORIGINAL IDEA
580
00:25:19,818 --> 00:25:22,485
THAT WILL GRAB
THE PRESS'S ATTENTION.
581
00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:24,087
AAAAHHH!!!
582
00:25:25,324 --> 00:25:27,557
HANG ON--YES, YES, YES!
583
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:28,959
I'VE JUST THOUGHT OF
584
00:25:28,961 --> 00:25:31,594
THE MOST FANTASTIC
VILLAGE-SAVING IDEA!
585
00:25:31,596 --> 00:25:33,029
WELL, GOOD!
586
00:25:33,031 --> 00:25:35,498
AS LONG AS IT ISN'T
AN EMBARRASSING PUBLICITY STUNT,
587
00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:39,002
LIKE CHAINING YOURSELF
TO THE CHURCH.
588
00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:40,769
NO?
589
00:25:46,877 --> 00:25:49,078
David:
YOU LOOK LIKE AN EXTRA
590
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,114
IN A LOW-BUDGET REMAKE
OF A FILM BY KEN RUSSELL.
591
00:25:52,116 --> 00:25:54,516
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING FOR THE CAUSE?
592
00:25:54,518 --> 00:25:57,186
I'VE WRITTEN TO OUR M.P.
SIR PATRICK PAINE.
593
00:25:57,188 --> 00:25:59,021
OH, THE FAMOUS ALCOHOLIC.
594
00:25:59,023 --> 00:26:01,457
LET'S FACE IT, DAVID,
595
00:26:01,459 --> 00:26:03,625
THE LAST TIME HE SPOKE
IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS
596
00:26:03,627 --> 00:26:07,496
ALL HE COULD MUSTER
WAS ( gibberish )...
597
00:26:08,899 --> 00:26:11,800
WE NEED PUBLICITY,
AND WE NEED IT NOW.
598
00:26:11,802 --> 00:26:12,934
OH, YES.
599
00:26:12,936 --> 00:26:16,104
I CAN SEE THE WORLD'S PRESS
JUST FLOCKING IN.
600
00:26:16,106 --> 00:26:18,306
AFTERNOON, VICAR.
601
00:26:18,308 --> 00:26:20,408
OH, JUST YOU WAIT.
602
00:26:20,410 --> 00:26:23,444
JUST YOU WAIT!
603
00:26:23,446 --> 00:26:27,148
( shouting)
MAY THE BLESSING
OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST
604
00:26:27,150 --> 00:26:30,518
BE WITH YOU NOW
AND FOREVER MORE!
605
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,286
AMEN!
606
00:26:32,288 --> 00:26:34,788
Congregation:
AMEN.
607
00:26:37,260 --> 00:26:39,927
THANK YOU, VICAR.
MOST ENJOYABLE.
608
00:26:39,929 --> 00:26:41,695
YOU'RE WELCOME, OWEN.
609
00:26:41,697 --> 00:26:43,364
OOH!
610
00:26:43,366 --> 00:26:44,999
COULD THE LADY
WITH THE BIG HAT
611
00:26:45,001 --> 00:26:47,601
GO TO THE BACK
OF THE QUEUE, PLEASE?
612
00:26:47,603 --> 00:26:49,870
OOH, SID, YOU'VE
PUT ON SOME WEIGHT.
613
00:26:49,872 --> 00:26:52,239
WOULD THE LADY
WITH THE FEATHER HAT
COME NEXT?
614
00:26:55,577 --> 00:26:57,110
( TV playing )
615
00:26:57,112 --> 00:26:58,645
OH, GREAT.
616
00:26:58,647 --> 00:27:01,381
GOOD NIGHT, VICAR.
THANKS, HUGO.
617
00:27:01,383 --> 00:27:02,849
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
618
00:27:02,851 --> 00:27:05,752
FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS FOR AN EVENING WITH...
619
00:27:05,754 --> 00:27:07,987
OH, NO! HUGO!
620
00:27:07,989 --> 00:27:10,290
HELP! OHH!
621
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,461
NO!!! NO!
622
00:27:14,463 --> 00:27:16,530
IF YOU'D LIKE ME
TO TAKE OVER FOR A BIT,
623
00:27:16,532 --> 00:27:18,331
YOU ONLY HAVE TO
SAY THE WORD.
624
00:27:18,333 --> 00:27:21,068
THAT'S VERY SWEET
OF YOU, JIM, BUT NO.
625
00:27:21,070 --> 00:27:23,770
I'M DETERMINED TO SEE THIS OUT
TILL THE PRESS GET HERE,
626
00:27:23,772 --> 00:27:25,505
EVEN IF IT
TAKES A WEEK.
627
00:27:25,507 --> 00:27:27,940
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE
JUST TO GO TO THE LOO?
628
00:27:27,942 --> 00:27:30,008
NO,
THANKS.
629
00:27:30,010 --> 00:27:31,544
SHE'S AMAZING.
630
00:27:31,546 --> 00:27:34,313
SHE MUST HAVE A BLADDER
THE SIZE OF LAKE TITTIKAKA.
631
00:27:34,315 --> 00:27:35,914
NOT LIKE ME.
632
00:27:35,916 --> 00:27:39,218
MY MUM ONLY
HAS TO GO, "TINKLE, TINKLE,"
633
00:27:39,220 --> 00:27:41,520
OR "PSSSSS..."
634
00:27:41,522 --> 00:27:45,057
OR ( whistles ),
AND I'M READY TO BURST.
635
00:27:46,394 --> 00:27:47,659
ACTUALLY, JIM,
636
00:27:47,661 --> 00:27:49,195
DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD TAKE OVER?
637
00:27:49,197 --> 00:27:51,397
YOU'VE GOT THE KEY,
HAVEN'T YOU?
638
00:27:51,399 --> 00:27:53,599
THERE. COMFY?
639
00:27:53,601 --> 00:27:56,535
I NORMALLY HAVE
THE HANDCUFFS
A BIT TIGHTER,
640
00:27:56,537 --> 00:27:58,571
BUT IT'S ALL RIGHT.
641
00:28:00,508 --> 00:28:02,373
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"NORMALLY"?
642
00:28:02,375 --> 00:28:04,709
WELL, I HAVE
THIS CHINESE GIRL WHO--
643
00:28:04,711 --> 00:28:07,011
ALL RIGHT,
GOT THE PICTURE.
644
00:28:08,181 --> 00:28:10,014
OOH! OOH!
645
00:28:10,016 --> 00:28:12,049
OOH! OOH! OOH!
646
00:28:18,125 --> 00:28:20,057
AND FINALLY, NEWS IS REACHING US
647
00:28:20,059 --> 00:28:22,760
OF A MOST UNUSUAL DEMONSTRATION
IN THE VILLAGE OF DIBLEY.
648
00:28:22,762 --> 00:28:24,629
AT LAST!
649
00:28:24,631 --> 00:28:26,331
WE'VE ALL HEARD OF PEOPLE
CHAINING THEMSELVES
650
00:28:26,333 --> 00:28:29,200
TO TREES AND RAILINGS,
BUT WHAT ABOUT A CHURCH?
651
00:28:29,202 --> 00:28:30,568
YES!
652
00:28:30,570 --> 00:28:32,604
I'M HERE WITH DEMONSTRATOR
JIM TROTT--
653
00:28:32,606 --> 00:28:34,272
NO!!!
654
00:28:34,274 --> 00:28:36,040
MR. TROTT,
CAN YOU TELL ME
655
00:28:36,042 --> 00:28:37,707
WHY YOU'RE CHAINED
TO THE CHURCH?
656
00:28:37,709 --> 00:28:39,309
NO, NO.
657
00:28:39,311 --> 00:28:41,077
NO, NO--YES.
658
00:28:41,079 --> 00:28:43,580
BECAUSE THE VICAR'S
GONE TO THE TOILET.
659
00:28:43,582 --> 00:28:45,516
TOO MUCH DETAIL.
660
00:28:45,518 --> 00:28:47,684
YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER.
661
00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:50,354
SHE'S A WONDERFUL WOMAN...
662
00:28:50,356 --> 00:28:52,122
LOVELY ASS.
663
00:28:52,124 --> 00:28:54,591
I WILL KILL HIM.
664
00:28:54,593 --> 00:28:56,926
AND DIBLEY'S M.P.
TODAY SPOKE OUT
665
00:28:56,928 --> 00:28:58,362
IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.
666
00:28:58,364 --> 00:29:00,930
"SHOW ME THE WAY
TO GO HOME," HE SAID...
667
00:29:00,932 --> 00:29:02,732
BEFORE FALLING OVER.
668
00:29:02,734 --> 00:29:04,368
AND BEFORE WE GO,
669
00:29:04,370 --> 00:29:06,170
A LOOK AT
TOMORROW MORNING'S FRONT PAGES.
670
00:29:06,172 --> 00:29:09,072
THE STAR HAS "THOU SHALT NOT
KILL MY VILLAGE,"
671
00:29:09,074 --> 00:29:11,575
ABOUT THE VICAR WHO'S
CHAINED HERSELF TO HER CHURCH.
672
00:29:11,577 --> 00:29:13,476
THE INDEPENDENT
LEADS ON THE SAME STORY--
673
00:29:13,478 --> 00:29:16,679
"VICAR HAS BIG RESERVATIONS
OVER RESERVOIR,"
674
00:29:16,681 --> 00:29:18,814
AND THE SUN HAS ITS OWN ANGLE--
675
00:29:18,816 --> 00:29:22,485
"THE SUN ASKS,
'IS THE VICAR'S ASS
REALLY LOVELY'?"
676
00:29:22,487 --> 00:29:24,119
AS IF WE CARE.
677
00:29:24,121 --> 00:29:26,989
THAT'S ALL FOR NEWSNIGHT,
WE'LL BE BACK TOMORROW NIGHT.
678
00:29:29,026 --> 00:29:31,227
( camera shutters click )
679
00:29:44,609 --> 00:29:46,775
AS THEIR PROTEST
ENTERS ITS THIRD WEEK,
680
00:29:46,777 --> 00:29:49,411
THE VICAR OF DIBLEY
TODAY RECEIVED CRUCIAL BACKING
681
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,879
FROM THE MOST IMPORTANT FIGURE
IN THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND,
682
00:29:51,881 --> 00:29:53,948
SIR CLIFF RICHARD.
683
00:29:53,950 --> 00:29:59,654
( speaking Italian )
684
00:29:59,656 --> 00:30:02,123
... DE DIBLEY.
685
00:30:07,397 --> 00:30:10,732
Woman newscaster: THE PROTEST HERE IN THIS LITTLE VILLAGE
686
00:30:10,734 --> 00:30:13,668
SEEMS TO HAVE STRUCK A CHORD ACROSS THE WORLD.
687
00:30:13,670 --> 00:30:16,003
IN TIMES OF INCREASING URBANIZATION,
688
00:30:16,005 --> 00:30:18,473
WHO IS GOING TO STICK UP FOR THE SMALL COMMUNITIES
689
00:30:18,475 --> 00:30:21,142
WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME?
690
00:30:21,144 --> 00:30:22,877
Man newscaster: MEANWHILE, THE WORLD'S PRESS
691
00:30:22,879 --> 00:30:24,745
CONTINUE TO FLOCK TO THIS TINY VILLAGE
692
00:30:24,747 --> 00:30:26,447
AND ITS REMARKABLE VICAR.
693
00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:28,215
THEY'VE BEEN JOINED BY REPRESENTATIVES
694
00:30:28,217 --> 00:30:30,016
FROM ENVIRONMENTAL PRESSURE GROUPS
695
00:30:30,018 --> 00:30:31,852
AND ASSORTED OTHERS.
696
00:30:36,659 --> 00:30:38,559
STILL HERE, EH?
697
00:30:38,561 --> 00:30:39,760
Geraldine: YES.
698
00:30:39,762 --> 00:30:42,129
STILL STANDING FIRM,
DESPITE WHAT YOU THINK.
699
00:30:42,131 --> 00:30:45,666
I THINK, IN THE END,
IT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
700
00:30:48,371 --> 00:30:50,036
CHAIN ME UP, SCOTTY!
701
00:30:50,038 --> 00:30:51,605
( all cheer )
702
00:30:54,176 --> 00:31:00,913
♪ AND YOU'LL NEVER
WALK ALONE ♪
703
00:31:00,915 --> 00:31:04,417
♪ YOU'LL NEVER ♪
704
00:31:04,419 --> 00:31:08,588
♪ WALK ALONE ♪
705
00:31:08,590 --> 00:31:09,989
RIGHT.
706
00:31:09,991 --> 00:31:11,758
YOUR TURN NEXT,
FRANK.
707
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,760
ONLY SIX HOURS TO GO
BEFORE DAWN,
708
00:31:13,762 --> 00:31:15,561
SO MAKE IT A GOOD 'UN.
709
00:31:15,563 --> 00:31:17,730
I'VE GOT JUST THE THING.
710
00:31:17,732 --> 00:31:21,668
♪ ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND
GREEN BOTTLES ♪
711
00:31:21,670 --> 00:31:24,170
♪ HANGING ON THE WALL ♪
712
00:31:24,172 --> 00:31:27,373
All:
♪ ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND
GREEN BOTTLES ♪
713
00:31:27,375 --> 00:31:30,042
♪ HANGING ON THE WALL ♪
714
00:31:30,044 --> 00:31:33,078
♪ AND IF ONE GREEN BOTTLE ♪
715
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,580
♪ SHOULD ACCIDENTALLY FALL ♪
716
00:31:35,582 --> 00:31:37,749
♪ THERE'D BE
NINETY-NINE THOUSAND ♪
717
00:31:37,751 --> 00:31:41,386
♪ NINE HUNDRED
AND NINETY-NINE GREEN BOTTLES ♪
718
00:31:41,388 --> 00:31:43,822
♪ HANGING ON THE WALL ♪
719
00:31:43,824 --> 00:31:45,891
Man:
HERE HE COMES NOW.
720
00:31:45,893 --> 00:31:47,259
EXCUSE ME.
721
00:31:47,261 --> 00:31:48,794
( clears throat )
722
00:31:48,796 --> 00:31:53,064
AFTER CAREFUL CONSIDERATION
OF ALL THE FACTS,
723
00:31:53,066 --> 00:31:55,567
I AM INSTRUCTED
TO INFORM YOU
724
00:31:55,569 --> 00:31:57,436
THAT THE WATER BOARD
HAS DECIDED
725
00:31:57,438 --> 00:31:59,671
TO PROCEED
WITH DIBLEY RESERVOIR.
726
00:31:59,673 --> 00:32:01,707
WHAT?!
727
00:32:01,709 --> 00:32:06,077
SORRY. HAS DECIDED NOT TO
PROCEED WITH DIBLEY RESERVOIR.
728
00:32:06,079 --> 00:32:07,780
( all cheer )
729
00:32:07,782 --> 00:32:11,616
WE WISH TO POINT OUT
THAT THIS DECISION
730
00:32:11,618 --> 00:32:14,419
HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH THE RECENT PROTESTS.
731
00:32:14,421 --> 00:32:15,420
SURE.
732
00:32:15,422 --> 00:32:17,555
WE HAVE LISTENED VERY CAREFULLY
733
00:32:17,557 --> 00:32:20,991
TO THE MORE DETAILED
ENVIRONMENTAL ARGUMENTS,
734
00:32:20,993 --> 00:32:23,461
AND AFTER THE DISCOVERY
AT A LOCAL FARM
735
00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:26,363
OF A BLUE-CRESTED
ONE-LEGGED CHICKEN,
736
00:32:26,365 --> 00:32:32,470
WE BELIEVE THE AREA TO BE
OF UNIQUE NATURAL IMPORTANCE,
737
00:32:32,472 --> 00:32:35,473
AND THEREFORE WILL LOOK
FOR OTHER SOLUTIONS
738
00:32:35,475 --> 00:32:37,708
TO THE WATER CRISIS.
739
00:32:37,710 --> 00:32:40,778
( camera shutters click )
740
00:32:43,149 --> 00:32:45,582
YOU'VE GOT THE KEY,
HAVEN'T YOU, HUGS?
YEAH.
741
00:32:45,584 --> 00:32:47,484
WHERE IS IT, THEN?
742
00:32:47,486 --> 00:32:49,018
I SWALLOWED IT.
743
00:32:49,020 --> 00:32:51,254
FOR SECURITY.
744
00:32:55,226 --> 00:32:58,762
WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS,
DIBLEY'S SAVED.
745
00:32:58,764 --> 00:33:00,697
( all cheer )
746
00:33:00,699 --> 00:33:03,166
THE BAD NEWS IS
THAT MICHAEL WINNER
747
00:33:03,168 --> 00:33:05,068
WANTS TO MAKE A FILM
ABOUT IT.
748
00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:07,838
WITH JIM BEING PLAYED
BY CHARLES BRONSON.
749
00:33:09,675 --> 00:33:11,708
WE DID HAVE SOME BAD TIMES.
750
00:33:11,710 --> 00:33:14,077
ANT 'N' DEC COMING
TO CHEER US UP,
751
00:33:14,079 --> 00:33:16,412
THAT WAS PRETTY ROUGH
FOR EVERYBODY.
752
00:33:16,414 --> 00:33:18,548
OH, I LOVED THAT.
753
00:33:18,550 --> 00:33:19,949
AND OBVIOUSLY
754
00:33:19,951 --> 00:33:22,217
THERE ISN'T A SINGLE ANIMAL
LEFT ON OWEN'S FARM
755
00:33:22,219 --> 00:33:24,453
WITH THE CORRECT
NUMBER OF LEGS.
756
00:33:24,455 --> 00:33:28,056
THOUGH I HAVE TO SAY
IT'S SURPRISING HOW AGILE
757
00:33:28,058 --> 00:33:30,693
A ONE-LEGGED PIG CAN BE.
758
00:33:30,695 --> 00:33:33,295
BUT DESPITE THAT, WE WON!
759
00:33:33,297 --> 00:33:34,964
( all cheer )
760
00:33:34,966 --> 00:33:36,532
AFTER IT WAS ALL OVER
761
00:33:36,534 --> 00:33:39,935
I WAS SO EXCITED I MADE LOVE
TO A SWEDISH JOURNALIST.
762
00:33:39,937 --> 00:33:43,806
WE KNOW, JIM. WE WERE
CHAINED TO YOU AT THE TIME.
763
00:33:46,110 --> 00:33:49,712
THIS IS INDEED
A GREAT DAY FOR DIBLEY,
764
00:33:49,714 --> 00:33:51,480
AND THE RIGHT MOMENT
TO ANNOUNCE
765
00:33:51,482 --> 00:33:54,850
THAT WE HAVE DECIDED TO HAVE
A MILLENNIUM STATUE AFTER ALL
766
00:33:54,852 --> 00:33:56,818
AND CHOSEN OUR SUBJECT.
767
00:33:56,820 --> 00:33:58,019
REALLY?
768
00:33:58,021 --> 00:34:00,087
WE HAVEN'T DISCUSSED IT
WITH YOU, VICAR,
769
00:34:00,089 --> 00:34:02,557
BUT WE FEEL THERE'S ONLY
ONE PERSON IT CAN POSSIBLY BE.
770
00:34:02,559 --> 00:34:04,826
EVERYONE I ASKED
GAVE ME THE SAME ANSWER,
771
00:34:04,828 --> 00:34:08,396
AND THAT ANSWER WAS...
A STATUE OF GERALDINE.
772
00:34:08,398 --> 00:34:12,066
WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
773
00:34:12,068 --> 00:34:14,335
WE JUST HOPE YOU'LL HONOUR US
WITH YOUR PRESENCE
774
00:34:14,337 --> 00:34:15,436
AT THE UNVEILING.
775
00:34:15,438 --> 00:34:17,972
I CERTAINLY WILL.
776
00:34:17,974 --> 00:34:20,975
IS IT OKAY IF I BRING
ANNA-GRETA ALONG?
777
00:34:20,977 --> 00:34:22,076
I SHOULD THINK SO.
778
00:34:22,078 --> 00:34:23,310
SHE SAYS SHE'S GOT
779
00:34:23,312 --> 00:34:25,613
A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR ME.
780
00:34:28,785 --> 00:34:31,552
David: I'M SURE IT'LL ONLY BE
A COUPLE OF MINUTES.
781
00:34:44,266 --> 00:34:47,200
YOU LOOK
PRETTY AS A PICTURE,
YOUNG ALICE.
782
00:34:47,202 --> 00:34:48,501
THANKS.
783
00:34:48,503 --> 00:34:51,905
A PAINTER DID ONCE
ASK ME TO POSE FOR HIM.
784
00:34:51,907 --> 00:34:53,173
REALLY?
785
00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:55,275
WITH NO CLOTHES ON.
786
00:34:55,277 --> 00:34:57,077
DID YOU DO IT?
787
00:34:57,079 --> 00:34:59,179
YES. IT WAS
QUITE EXCITING.
788
00:34:59,181 --> 00:35:02,716
HE WAS PAINTING OUR KITCHEN
AT THE TIME.
789
00:35:02,718 --> 00:35:05,151
RIGHT.
790
00:35:05,153 --> 00:35:07,853
I DON'T MIND ADMITTING
I'M FEELING A BIT NERVOUS.
791
00:35:07,855 --> 00:35:10,623
THIS SORT OF THING DOESN'T
HAPPEN EVERY DAY, DOES IT?
792
00:35:10,625 --> 00:35:11,991
HOW DO I LOOK?
793
00:35:11,993 --> 00:35:15,494
GORGEOUS, OR Y-FRONT-
STRETCHINGLY GORGEOUS?
794
00:35:15,496 --> 00:35:21,067
Y-FRONT-STRETCHING-
TILL-A-LITTLE-BIT-OF-WINKY-
STICKS-OUT GORGEOUS.
795
00:35:21,069 --> 00:35:22,868
HOW ABOUT ME?
796
00:35:22,870 --> 00:35:26,672
YOU...LOOK LIKE
MICHELLE PFEIFFER
797
00:35:26,674 --> 00:35:28,975
AT HER MOST BEAUTIFUL.
798
00:35:30,144 --> 00:35:31,944
ONE LITTLE THING--
799
00:35:31,946 --> 00:35:34,313
DO YOU MIND ME SAYING?
IT'S JUST THE LIPSTICK.
800
00:35:34,315 --> 00:35:36,582
TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE?
801
00:35:36,584 --> 00:35:40,352
UH, NOT GOOD AS BLUSHER.
DO YOU MIND IF I--?
802
00:35:40,354 --> 00:35:43,021
THERE WE ARE,
THERE...
803
00:35:43,023 --> 00:35:46,257
THERE. NOW YOU LOOK
BABE-LICIOUS.
804
00:35:46,259 --> 00:35:47,892
OH...
805
00:35:47,894 --> 00:35:51,362
WE MAKE THE PERFECT TEAM,
I RECKON.
806
00:35:51,364 --> 00:35:55,233
BECAUSE WHILE YOU PROVIDE
THE BEAUTY AND THE BRAINS,
807
00:35:55,235 --> 00:35:59,037
I PROVIDE THE...
THE, UH...
808
00:35:59,039 --> 00:36:00,571
THE REST?
809
00:36:00,573 --> 00:36:04,042
THAT'S IT, THE REST.
EXACTLY.
810
00:36:04,044 --> 00:36:07,245
SO COME ON, LET'S GO,
ALICE AMAZING.
811
00:36:07,247 --> 00:36:09,547
AFTER YOU, VICAR VE--
812
00:36:09,549 --> 00:36:12,017
VELOCIRAPTOR.
813
00:36:14,420 --> 00:36:18,255
David: AND SO IT GIVES ME
THE GREATEST PLEASURE...
814
00:36:18,257 --> 00:36:22,159
NOW THAT OUR HEROIC VICAR
HAS JOINED US,
815
00:36:22,161 --> 00:36:26,463
TO UNVEIL THE DIBLEY
MILLENNIUM STATUE.
816
00:36:26,465 --> 00:36:29,566
WE'LL CALL IT SIMPLY...
817
00:36:29,568 --> 00:36:31,601
"GERALDINE."
818
00:36:37,009 --> 00:36:40,343
( applause )
819
00:36:41,814 --> 00:36:45,115
IT'S YOU! YES!
820
00:36:49,521 --> 00:36:52,955
WE DIDN'T WANT TO
COMMEMORATE THE PAST...
821
00:36:52,957 --> 00:36:55,524
BUT LOOK TO THE FUTURE.
822
00:36:57,896 --> 00:36:59,662
WHAT DO YOU THINK, VICAR?
823
00:36:59,664 --> 00:37:02,932
I THINK IT'S...PERFECT.
824
00:37:02,934 --> 00:37:04,901
♪ ♪ ♪
825
00:37:09,841 --> 00:37:12,175
DOESN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE ME.
826
00:37:12,177 --> 00:37:17,479
♪ ONLY GOODNESS AND MERCY ♪
827
00:37:17,481 --> 00:37:20,149
♪ SHALL FOLLOW ME ♪
828
00:37:20,151 --> 00:37:23,452
♪ ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE ♪
829
00:37:23,454 --> 00:37:28,757
♪ AND I WILL DWELL
IN THE HOUSE ♪
830
00:37:28,759 --> 00:37:32,260
♪ OF THE LORD ♪
831
00:37:32,262 --> 00:37:35,430
♪ FOREVER ♪
832
00:37:38,001 --> 00:37:42,904
♪ FOREVER ♪
833
00:37:42,906 --> 00:37:45,273
NICE QUICK ONE, OKAY?
834
00:37:45,275 --> 00:37:46,742
ALL RIGHT.
835
00:37:46,744 --> 00:37:49,177
WHAT'S BROWN
AND STICKY?
836
00:37:49,179 --> 00:37:51,613
I DON'T KNOW. WHAT?
837
00:37:51,615 --> 00:37:53,348
A STICK.
838
00:37:58,255 --> 00:38:00,222
NO, STICKS AREN'T STICKY.
839
00:38:00,224 --> 00:38:02,924
WELL, THEY ARE, AREN'T THEY,
BECAUSE THEY'RE STICKS.
840
00:38:02,926 --> 00:38:04,792
SO THEY ARE STICK-Y.
841
00:38:04,794 --> 00:38:06,794
YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT
WHAT STICKY MEANS.
842
00:38:06,796 --> 00:38:09,296
STICKY MEANS
ALL SORT OF STICKY,
YOU KNOW?
843
00:38:09,298 --> 00:38:10,865
I MEAN, SOME STICKS ARE STICKY,
844
00:38:10,867 --> 00:38:13,200
'CAUSE SAP OOZES OUT OF THEM
AND THEY GET STICKY,
845
00:38:13,202 --> 00:38:16,837
SO IF YOU SAY,
"WHAT IS BROWN
AND SOMETIMES STICKY,"
846
00:38:16,839 --> 00:38:18,773
THEN THAT MIGHT WORK.
847
00:38:18,775 --> 00:38:21,008
YEAH, BUT THAT SORT OF
TAKES THE EDGE OFF IT.
848
00:38:21,010 --> 00:38:22,442
I JUST NEED
TO BE HONEST.
849
00:38:22,444 --> 00:38:25,412
SOME TREES AREN'T BROWN,
EITHER, ARE THEY?
850
00:38:25,414 --> 00:38:27,181
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
GET THIS RIGHT,
851
00:38:27,183 --> 00:38:30,151
OTHERWISE YOU'LL
NEVER GET A LAUGH, OKAY?
852
00:38:30,153 --> 00:38:31,986
EITHER YOU COULD SAY,
853
00:38:31,988 --> 00:38:35,689
"WHAT IS SOMETIMES BROWN
AND SOMETIMES STICKY,"
854
00:38:35,691 --> 00:38:37,724
AND THAT'S A STICK.
855
00:38:37,726 --> 00:38:42,528
OR, "WHAT IS SOMETIMES BROWN
BUT ALSO SOMETIMES GREENY-GRAY,
856
00:38:42,530 --> 00:38:44,630
"SOMETIMES WHITISH,
857
00:38:44,632 --> 00:38:47,801
"AND SOMETIMES, LIKE IN THOSE
BIG AMERICAN TREES, RED"--
858
00:38:47,803 --> 00:38:49,169
YOU SEE?
859
00:38:49,171 --> 00:38:51,971
SO, "WHAT'S SOMETIMES RED,
SOMETIMES GREENY-GRAY,
860
00:38:51,973 --> 00:38:55,308
SOMETIMES SORT OF WHITE,
AND SOMETIMES STICKY?"
861
00:38:55,310 --> 00:38:56,943
SORRY ABOUT THIS, ALICE.
862
00:38:58,947 --> 00:39:01,314
EVEN IF I DO
HAVE TO GO TO JAIL,
863
00:39:01,316 --> 00:39:03,316
SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT.
864
00:39:03,318 --> 00:39:06,986
♪ FOREVER ♪
58344
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