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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,098 --> 00:00:01,919 Previously, on "Young Sheldon"... 2 00:00:02,004 --> 00:00:03,108 I'm Georgie. 3 00:00:03,193 --> 00:00:04,203 Mandy. 4 00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:06,453 How about while this runs, I take you to dinner? 5 00:00:06,541 --> 00:00:07,937 How old are you? 6 00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:09,702 Do not say 17. 7 00:00:09,807 --> 00:00:10,742 Twenty-one. 8 00:00:10,827 --> 00:00:13,125 Well, funny seeing you here. 9 00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:15,265 I'm just taking a little dinner break. 10 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,397 Here we go. Two margaritas. 11 00:00:17,824 --> 00:00:20,117 I love their margaritas. 12 00:00:20,446 --> 00:00:22,140 Well, this was fun. 13 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,789 It was for me. 14 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,544 Nice meeting you. 15 00:00:33,539 --> 00:00:35,359 I don't want to get ahead of myself, 16 00:00:35,445 --> 00:00:37,531 but the strength of the temperature deviations 17 00:00:37,616 --> 00:00:39,125 is looking rather spicy. 18 00:00:39,210 --> 00:00:41,345 - How spicy? - Five microkelvin. 19 00:00:41,429 --> 00:00:43,601 Muy caliente. 20 00:00:43,686 --> 00:00:44,883 When should we publish? 21 00:00:44,968 --> 00:00:46,243 Not yet. There's only 22 00:00:46,328 --> 00:00:48,914 a three-sigma significance. It needs to be higher. 23 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:51,600 That'd require a much more robust signal. 24 00:00:51,686 --> 00:00:53,030 And you know what that means. 25 00:00:53,186 --> 00:00:55,490 Road trip to the super telescope? 26 00:00:55,573 --> 00:00:57,665 Road trip to the super telescope, baby. 27 00:00:57,819 --> 00:00:59,186 When are we leaving? 28 00:00:59,756 --> 00:01:01,898 Oh, right. You. 29 00:01:02,953 --> 00:01:05,784 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 30 00:01:05,998 --> 00:01:08,676 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 31 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,289 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 32 00:01:11,373 --> 00:01:14,031 ♪ I am a mighty little man 33 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:17,725 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ *YOUNG SHELDON* 34 00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:19,147 *YOUNG SHELDON* Season 05 Episode 15 35 00:01:19,231 --> 00:01:20,515 Episode Title: "A Lobster, an Armadillo and a Way Bigger Number" 36 00:01:20,599 --> 00:01:24,084 So far, the data is extremely promising. 37 00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:26,539 Five microkelvin! 38 00:01:26,781 --> 00:01:27,789 Ah. 39 00:01:27,873 --> 00:01:29,289 Well, you seem excited, 40 00:01:29,373 --> 00:01:30,611 so... cool. 41 00:01:30,695 --> 00:01:32,375 We just need 42 00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,593 budget approval to travel to the radio telescope 43 00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:35,727 in the Davis Mountains. 44 00:01:35,811 --> 00:01:36,859 Fine by me. 45 00:01:36,944 --> 00:01:39,570 - Yes! - On to more pressing matters. 46 00:01:39,662 --> 00:01:42,593 - Does Sheldon Cooper have to come? - Shouldn't he? 47 00:01:42,679 --> 00:01:44,008 He is part of the team. 48 00:01:44,093 --> 00:01:46,890 But isn't there some rule against minors traveling? 49 00:01:46,975 --> 00:01:48,984 - No. - Can there be? 50 00:01:49,069 --> 00:01:51,359 No, it's better for the project if he's out there 51 00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:52,634 in the field with you. 52 00:01:52,718 --> 00:01:54,158 But isn't it better for his education 53 00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:56,203 - if he stays here in class? - Oh, I think 54 00:01:56,287 --> 00:01:58,133 that a trip like this could be very educational 55 00:01:58,218 --> 00:01:59,771 - in its own way. - Mm. 56 00:01:59,855 --> 00:02:02,078 You just don't want him around here bugging you. 57 00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:04,850 Winner winner he's-going-with-you dinner. 58 00:02:11,213 --> 00:02:12,828 Hey, there. 59 00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,485 You're Georgie's friend, right? 60 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,711 Yeah. Mandy. Hi. 61 00:02:17,795 --> 00:02:19,792 - You grow up around here? - I did, 62 00:02:19,876 --> 00:02:22,069 yeah. And then I, uh, moved to San Antonio 63 00:02:22,155 --> 00:02:23,477 for a while after college. 64 00:02:23,562 --> 00:02:26,015 - After college. - Yeah. 65 00:02:26,099 --> 00:02:29,235 A&M. Then I got an internship at Good Morning San Antonio. 66 00:02:29,319 --> 00:02:30,759 - Uh-oh. - Then I worked my way up 67 00:02:30,849 --> 00:02:32,805 - to doing the morning weather report. - Hey, y'all. 68 00:02:32,889 --> 00:02:34,203 Well, 69 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,804 speak of the devil. 70 00:02:36,218 --> 00:02:38,027 - What's going on, ladies? - Just 71 00:02:38,111 --> 00:02:40,022 getting to know Mandy here. 72 00:02:40,108 --> 00:02:42,312 Yeah, I was telling her about San Antonio. 73 00:02:42,397 --> 00:02:44,686 Oh, she's from Texas. She knows all about that stuff. 74 00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:47,167 - Anyways, I'll let you get back to work. - Well, 75 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:48,985 I'll leave you two kids be. 76 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:52,194 And listen to me, calling you young adults "kids." 77 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:56,655 Like you were still teenagers or something. 78 00:02:56,769 --> 00:02:58,413 I wish. 79 00:03:01,876 --> 00:03:04,326 Mom, can I have your AAA card? 80 00:03:04,615 --> 00:03:06,180 Why? I need to order 81 00:03:06,264 --> 00:03:08,187 a TripTik for my road trip to Fort Davis. 82 00:03:08,382 --> 00:03:10,103 Who said you could go to Fort Davis? 83 00:03:10,187 --> 00:03:11,451 President Hagemeyer. 84 00:03:11,537 --> 00:03:13,564 Well, I didn't say you could go. 85 00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:16,546 It's fine. I'll be with Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter. 86 00:03:16,632 --> 00:03:17,718 For how long? 87 00:03:17,802 --> 00:03:19,046 Three days. 88 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,788 And they're okay with this? 89 00:03:20,873 --> 00:03:22,072 Why wouldn't they be? 90 00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:23,985 No reason. 91 00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:25,319 Hmm. Just the same, 92 00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:26,640 I'm gonna check in with them. 93 00:03:26,724 --> 00:03:28,468 In the meantime, can I call AAA? 94 00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:31,068 - Can it please wait? - No. 95 00:03:32,397 --> 00:03:34,605 Card is in my purse. 96 00:03:34,826 --> 00:03:37,258 You're what guys call "a keeper." 97 00:03:45,522 --> 00:03:47,661 Mandy seems nice. 98 00:03:47,746 --> 00:03:49,012 She's all right. 99 00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,664 Things getting serious? 100 00:03:50,748 --> 00:03:52,711 I don't know. Why? Just wondering 101 00:03:52,795 --> 00:03:55,322 when you were gonna tell her your real age. 102 00:03:55,764 --> 00:03:57,718 - Age ain't nothing but a number. - Yeah, 103 00:03:57,804 --> 00:04:00,413 well, her number's way bigger than your number. 104 00:04:00,497 --> 00:04:02,199 You ain't never lied about your age? 105 00:04:02,282 --> 00:04:04,026 I'm a lady. Different rules. 106 00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:05,548 It's not a big deal. 107 00:04:05,632 --> 00:04:06,899 - We're just having fun. - Yeah, 108 00:04:06,983 --> 00:04:08,937 well, before you have too much fun, 109 00:04:09,022 --> 00:04:10,663 you better tell her. 110 00:04:10,748 --> 00:04:11,903 That sounds less fun. 111 00:04:11,987 --> 00:04:13,968 Welcome to being an adult. 112 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,513 It sucks. 113 00:04:17,744 --> 00:04:19,749 Dr. Linkletter? Mary Cooper. 114 00:04:19,865 --> 00:04:21,348 Ah, Mrs. Cooper. 115 00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:23,394 I assume this is about the upcoming trip 116 00:04:23,478 --> 00:04:26,004 and perhaps your very understandable reluctance 117 00:04:26,088 --> 00:04:27,528 to let Sheldon come. 118 00:04:27,612 --> 00:04:30,879 I have to admit I do have some concerns. 119 00:04:30,963 --> 00:04:32,403 As you should. 120 00:04:32,487 --> 00:04:33,490 So, you're saying you'd prefer 121 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,531 he not go with us? 122 00:04:35,615 --> 00:04:37,930 But he'd be so disappointed. 123 00:04:38,014 --> 00:04:39,887 Not more disappointed than me. 124 00:04:40,024 --> 00:04:43,028 So, you feel good about him going? 125 00:04:44,019 --> 00:04:45,980 Only if you feel good about it. 126 00:04:46,064 --> 00:04:49,101 You're his parent. I'm just an absentminded academic 127 00:04:49,187 --> 00:04:50,702 who's never had children. 128 00:04:50,788 --> 00:04:52,132 Come on, now. 129 00:04:52,218 --> 00:04:53,531 You've been such a great help 130 00:04:53,615 --> 00:04:55,382 looking after him at college. 131 00:04:55,466 --> 00:04:58,819 Yes, but college isn't the same as three days in a van. 132 00:04:58,904 --> 00:04:59,774 Huh. 133 00:04:59,858 --> 00:05:02,259 Sheldon can be a nervous traveler. 134 00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:05,565 Ah. Sounds like you don't want him to go. 135 00:05:05,649 --> 00:05:08,413 No, I do want him to go. I just want to make sure 136 00:05:08,499 --> 00:05:11,134 that you and Dr. Sturgis are okay with it. 137 00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:13,920 We're okay with it. 138 00:05:14,303 --> 00:05:15,913 If you're okay with it. 139 00:05:15,997 --> 00:05:18,538 If you're okay with it, I'm okay with it. 140 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,146 Then it would seem we're both okay with it. 141 00:05:21,230 --> 00:05:22,687 Okay. 142 00:05:22,882 --> 00:05:24,237 - Okay. - Oh, 143 00:05:24,322 --> 00:05:26,148 he's gonna be so happy. 144 00:05:27,398 --> 00:05:28,442 Uh-huh. 145 00:05:32,069 --> 00:05:33,718 You ready for your road trip? 146 00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:35,685 Yes. I'm plotting bathroom breaks. 147 00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,062 It's tricky because I'm not sure 148 00:05:37,146 --> 00:05:40,124 how frequently Dr. Linkletter and Dr. Sturgis need to urinate. 149 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:41,920 Maybe I should call them. 150 00:05:42,005 --> 00:05:44,302 Ooh, I wouldn't. You ask old guys about their bladder, 151 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:46,124 you're in for a long conversation. 152 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,463 What's with the maps? 153 00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,827 I'm going with Dr. Sturgis and Dr. Linkletter 154 00:05:49,913 --> 00:05:52,223 to a radio telescope in the Davis Mountains. 155 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,101 Of course you are. 156 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:56,610 - Problem? - Nope. He gets to do 157 00:05:56,694 --> 00:05:58,100 whatever he wants, and I'm not even allowed 158 00:05:58,183 --> 00:05:59,752 to go the beach with my friends. 159 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:01,538 It's just a school trip. 160 00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,540 It's fine. 161 00:06:04,295 --> 00:06:05,845 Oh. Says here Fort Stockton 162 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,976 is home to the world's largest roadrunner statue, 163 00:06:08,062 --> 00:06:09,672 which is the stuff of nightmares. 164 00:06:09,757 --> 00:06:11,389 But they do have a restroom. 165 00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:15,507 Can I talk to you? 166 00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:17,336 - Am I in trouble? - No. 167 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,380 It's about a girl. 168 00:06:18,464 --> 00:06:20,295 Oh. You're in trouble. 169 00:06:20,545 --> 00:06:21,774 Yeah, sure. 170 00:06:21,858 --> 00:06:24,778 I'm not really in trouble. I'm just dating this girl, 171 00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:26,345 and she's a little older than me. 172 00:06:26,663 --> 00:06:27,901 What's the problem? 173 00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:30,644 She doesn't exactly know how much older than me she is. 174 00:06:30,867 --> 00:06:32,201 How much older is she? 175 00:06:32,286 --> 00:06:33,781 Like ten years. 176 00:06:33,865 --> 00:06:36,454 But she's blond and she's really hot. 177 00:06:36,553 --> 00:06:38,475 Well, that doesn't matter. 178 00:06:39,084 --> 00:06:41,403 I mean, if you're lying to her, that's not okay. 179 00:06:41,487 --> 00:06:42,701 Hold on. 180 00:06:42,786 --> 00:06:44,923 You're saying if you were my age and dating this hot girl, 181 00:06:45,007 --> 00:06:47,757 you'd tell her the truth and blow your chances? 182 00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:49,788 Well, that's not the question you asked me. 183 00:06:49,872 --> 00:06:51,355 So, what would you really do? 184 00:06:53,757 --> 00:06:54,829 She married? 185 00:06:54,930 --> 00:06:55,978 No. She got kids? 186 00:06:56,062 --> 00:06:57,632 - No. - I don't see the problem. 187 00:06:57,716 --> 00:06:59,461 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 188 00:06:59,749 --> 00:07:01,740 You're like the son I never wanted. 189 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,670 Hey, I know I don't work here anymore, 190 00:07:06,773 --> 00:07:08,779 but could I use this office tonight? 191 00:07:08,865 --> 00:07:09,956 No. 192 00:07:10,041 --> 00:07:11,088 Fine. 193 00:07:11,173 --> 00:07:12,398 Did you used to? 194 00:07:13,994 --> 00:07:15,459 No. 195 00:07:20,372 --> 00:07:22,274 You might want to pace yourself. 196 00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,098 Our next rest stop isn't for another... 197 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,850 62 miles. 198 00:07:25,935 --> 00:07:27,709 If anyone needs to go before that, 199 00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,363 I've got a trucker's buddy in back. 200 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,694 What's that? 201 00:07:30,779 --> 00:07:32,237 A bottle you urinate in. 202 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,324 I'm sorry, 203 00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:34,733 are we the Donner Party? 204 00:07:34,819 --> 00:07:37,110 Societal norms are different on road trips. 205 00:07:37,196 --> 00:07:39,663 Normally, I don't eat junk food, 206 00:07:39,749 --> 00:07:42,247 but here, it's tradition. 207 00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:45,319 I'm not even sure what a chicharron is. 208 00:07:45,404 --> 00:07:47,409 It's the deep-fried skin of a pig. 209 00:07:47,495 --> 00:07:50,500 That seems like something they should say on the bag. 210 00:07:50,610 --> 00:07:52,050 How about some music? 211 00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:54,127 No one likes music. How about a car game? 212 00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:56,393 Ooh, I have a fun one where I say 213 00:07:56,478 --> 00:07:58,350 a formula, and then you have to say another formula 214 00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:00,134 starting with the last letter or number 215 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:01,978 that I said. So, for example, if I said, 216 00:08:02,062 --> 00:08:04,689 - "X" equals negative "B" plus or minus... - Music it is. 217 00:08:10,601 --> 00:08:13,538 I'm sorry I can't help out on driving duty. 218 00:08:13,622 --> 00:08:15,180 You really never learned? 219 00:08:15,273 --> 00:08:19,048 I got my permit, but I've never been comfortable behind the wheel. 220 00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,268 That's a shame. 221 00:08:20,586 --> 00:08:23,516 I do enjoy the tranquility of the open road. 222 00:08:23,665 --> 00:08:26,048 I find it produces a Zen-like calm. 223 00:08:26,132 --> 00:08:27,615 Mm. 224 00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:29,468 You know what else is calming? 225 00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,903 A fun car game. 226 00:08:30,987 --> 00:08:32,167 How about this. 227 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,907 We'll count out-of-state license plates. 228 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:35,735 First one to a hundred wins. 229 00:08:35,818 --> 00:08:37,548 Not as fun as mine, but very well. 230 00:08:37,633 --> 00:08:39,251 Um... Ooh, Oklahoma. 231 00:08:39,336 --> 00:08:40,599 Silently. 232 00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:58,043 Hey. Is your mom home? 233 00:08:58,129 --> 00:08:59,251 Church. 234 00:08:59,336 --> 00:09:00,892 Oh. What are you up to? 235 00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:02,951 Nothing. 236 00:09:04,399 --> 00:09:05,764 Put your shoes on. 237 00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,072 Why? 238 00:09:07,157 --> 00:09:08,945 Let's you and me go do something fun. 239 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,977 Something I think is fun or something you think is fun? 240 00:09:12,062 --> 00:09:14,894 Something we both think is fun. Come on, get in the truck. 241 00:09:15,282 --> 00:09:17,572 - You gonna teach me how to drive? - No. 242 00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:20,184 You sure? It would just make me feel so much better 243 00:09:20,299 --> 00:09:23,977 - about all the stuff Sheldon gets to do. - You're not driving. 244 00:09:24,062 --> 00:09:25,298 I would seriously love you 245 00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,024 - so much if I could drive. - Stop it. 246 00:09:27,110 --> 00:09:31,167 At what age do guys stop acting like idiots? 247 00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:32,790 Oh, no. What'd I do now? 248 00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,750 - Not you. - Georgie's 249 00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:37,797 dating an older woman and he's lying about his age. 250 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,822 Oh. That rascal. 251 00:09:40,966 --> 00:09:42,165 You already knew. 252 00:09:42,384 --> 00:09:43,735 You don't know what I know. 253 00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:45,438 I see it in your face. 254 00:09:45,557 --> 00:09:48,519 Fine. Well, he asked for my advice. 255 00:09:48,605 --> 00:09:51,738 Well, I hope you told him that he has to come clean. 256 00:09:53,322 --> 00:09:54,565 I did. 257 00:09:54,649 --> 00:09:57,040 Sounds like there's a "but" on the way. 258 00:09:57,125 --> 00:10:00,369 But then he asked me what I would've done. 259 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,604 - Dale. - Well, uh, 260 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:02,977 you don't know all the facts. 261 00:10:03,062 --> 00:10:04,149 What are the facts? 262 00:10:04,235 --> 00:10:05,760 He said 263 00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:08,274 that she was blond and hot. 264 00:10:08,359 --> 00:10:10,625 And that makes it okay to lie? 265 00:10:10,826 --> 00:10:12,509 At my age, no. 266 00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:14,267 At his age? 267 00:10:16,196 --> 00:10:17,330 No. 268 00:10:17,561 --> 00:10:20,143 Does it go straight like this for a while? 269 00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:21,537 It's Texas. 270 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,938 Goes straight like this for the rest of our lives. 271 00:10:24,461 --> 00:10:26,249 You thinking of giving it a try? 272 00:10:26,703 --> 00:10:29,001 Well, there aren't any cars around. 273 00:10:29,313 --> 00:10:32,417 Uh, seems like a good place to practice. 274 00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,201 Excellent. I could use a break. 275 00:10:35,376 --> 00:10:36,855 This is exciting. 276 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,509 I'm all a tingle. 277 00:10:38,751 --> 00:10:40,900 You are not peeing in a bottle. 278 00:10:45,034 --> 00:10:46,301 Here we are. 279 00:10:46,744 --> 00:10:48,519 Red Lobster? 280 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,173 You love this place. 281 00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,665 Holy moly. 282 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:52,830 It's good, huh? 283 00:10:52,914 --> 00:10:54,177 Unbelievable. 284 00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,179 Yeah, when I was, like, eight. 285 00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:59,139 Well, come on, we had our first daddy-daughter date here. 286 00:10:59,222 --> 00:11:01,490 Oh, my God, don't ever call it that again. 287 00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:02,869 What? 288 00:11:02,953 --> 00:11:05,104 I have friends who come here on actual dates. 289 00:11:05,235 --> 00:11:07,052 They might see us. 290 00:11:08,658 --> 00:11:10,376 Thought it'd be nice. 291 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,791 Can we please go anywhere else? 292 00:11:15,711 --> 00:11:17,019 Fine. 293 00:11:18,937 --> 00:11:20,985 - You know, they have those cheddar biscuits. - Dad. 294 00:11:21,071 --> 00:11:22,859 Fine. 295 00:11:22,942 --> 00:11:24,381 I'm doing it. 296 00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,341 This is going quite well. 297 00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:27,820 Feel free to pick up the pace. 298 00:11:27,903 --> 00:11:30,267 - A butterfly just passed us. - Well, 299 00:11:30,351 --> 00:11:32,792 what's the speed limit? 75. 300 00:11:32,994 --> 00:11:35,220 And I'm going... 301 00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:36,634 ten. 302 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:39,048 I'll pick up the pace. 303 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,658 Speaking of slow-moving transportation, 304 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:42,966 did you know that the slowest express train in the world 305 00:11:43,049 --> 00:11:44,931 is the Glacier Express in Switzerland? 306 00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:46,855 I spent a month in Switzerland at CERN. 307 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,379 Oh, no! 308 00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:50,451 I hit an armadillo. 309 00:11:50,536 --> 00:11:51,917 So? Just keep driving. 310 00:11:52,001 --> 00:11:53,010 No, 311 00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:55,409 I can't. I have to check on it. 312 00:11:56,461 --> 00:11:58,626 Is he hoping it's alive or dead? 313 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,240 Alive. 314 00:12:00,591 --> 00:12:01,895 Ugh. 315 00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:07,884 Oh, no, what have I done? 316 00:12:08,931 --> 00:12:11,408 It's still moving. Like we should be. Let's go. 317 00:12:11,494 --> 00:12:13,369 We need a box and a towel. 318 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,729 We don't need a coffin. The birds will eat it. 319 00:12:15,813 --> 00:12:18,712 It's to keep it safe until we find help. 320 00:12:18,798 --> 00:12:21,471 John, these animals carry all kinds of diseases. 321 00:12:21,556 --> 00:12:23,587 That's what the towel's for. 322 00:12:23,673 --> 00:12:25,245 This is Texas. Armadillo roadkill 323 00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:27,259 is practically the state animal. 324 00:12:28,274 --> 00:12:30,671 So, where you want to go? 325 00:12:31,703 --> 00:12:33,836 I am up for anything. 326 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,158 I was thinking the bar, but I go there so much. 327 00:12:37,376 --> 00:12:38,947 What about a movie? 328 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,187 Or we could just go back to your place. 329 00:12:42,783 --> 00:12:44,032 Oh. 330 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:46,462 That-That'd be amazing. 331 00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,111 Well, amazing's a lot of pressure, 332 00:12:48,197 --> 00:12:50,077 but I'll give it a shot. 333 00:12:51,115 --> 00:12:53,384 ♪ I don't know who I am... 334 00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:54,836 Listen, 335 00:12:55,017 --> 00:12:57,292 when I said I moved out of my parents' place, 336 00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:58,961 that was true. 337 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,744 But I'm kind of living in their garage. 338 00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:05,009 Well, my parents are in the bedroom next to mine, 339 00:13:05,102 --> 00:13:06,275 so it's your place or nothing. 340 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:07,658 My place works. 341 00:13:11,711 --> 00:13:14,802 Don't get bitten. I'm not wrapping you in a towel, too. 342 00:13:14,885 --> 00:13:16,745 I'm just giving it water. 343 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,587 Okay, there's a firehouse 28 miles away. 344 00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,090 I bet they can help. 345 00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:23,595 I was thinking we'd leave it on their doorstep. 346 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,163 This isn't a joke. I injured this creature, 347 00:13:27,249 --> 00:13:29,817 so I have to take care of it. Do you understand? 348 00:13:30,894 --> 00:13:32,243 Yes, sir. 349 00:13:34,461 --> 00:13:37,673 Well, it's not lobster, but... 350 00:13:38,243 --> 00:13:40,260 least your friends won't see us. 351 00:13:41,485 --> 00:13:42,774 Sorry. 352 00:13:43,153 --> 00:13:45,024 It's okay. 353 00:13:46,062 --> 00:13:47,892 You're just getting older. 354 00:13:48,414 --> 00:13:49,845 I guess. 355 00:13:50,744 --> 00:13:52,844 Sure I was a jackass to my parents, too. 356 00:13:52,928 --> 00:13:54,017 Hey! 357 00:13:57,009 --> 00:13:58,323 How's your burger? 358 00:13:58,408 --> 00:13:59,673 So good. 359 00:13:59,759 --> 00:14:01,852 It is pretty good. 360 00:14:02,994 --> 00:14:05,735 Hey, maybe this can be our new spot for daddy-daughter dates. 361 00:14:05,828 --> 00:14:08,129 Please stop saying that. What? 362 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,350 Daddy-daughter dates? 363 00:14:09,495 --> 00:14:10,673 Yes. 364 00:14:10,759 --> 00:14:12,380 Mm. Okay. 365 00:14:12,908 --> 00:14:15,634 What would you like me to call our daddy-daughter dates? 366 00:14:15,782 --> 00:14:18,063 You're so annoying. 367 00:14:20,219 --> 00:14:22,221 "Cry for the Bad Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing... 368 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,517 This isn't 369 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,946 exactly the firehouse I was expecting. 370 00:14:31,157 --> 00:14:32,750 Are minors allowed in here? 371 00:14:32,875 --> 00:14:34,259 No one should be allowed in here. 372 00:14:34,345 --> 00:14:36,462 I'm sure they have a phone we can use. 373 00:14:36,548 --> 00:14:38,212 Excuse me, barkeep? 374 00:14:38,298 --> 00:14:40,253 Could we get some help over here? 375 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,860 And don't say "barkeep." 376 00:14:42,643 --> 00:14:45,865 ♪ Well, he knocked me down, but I'm on my feet... ♪ 377 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:47,981 Y'all must be lost. 378 00:14:48,163 --> 00:14:52,048 Oh, we're not lost. You can't get lost with a AAA TripTik. 379 00:14:52,407 --> 00:14:54,938 I mean, I don't know where you're trying to be, 380 00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:56,836 but this ain't it. 381 00:14:56,922 --> 00:14:59,500 - Message received. We'll be on our way. - Please. 382 00:14:59,586 --> 00:15:03,157 We have an injured armadillo that needs medical assistance. 383 00:15:03,241 --> 00:15:06,048 You brought that filthy thing into my bar? 384 00:15:06,133 --> 00:15:07,961 And now we're taking it out. Let's go. 385 00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:10,102 - If we could just use your phone. - Look, 386 00:15:10,187 --> 00:15:11,578 you seem like nice folk, 387 00:15:11,663 --> 00:15:14,806 but Yankees ain't popular around here. 388 00:15:14,890 --> 00:15:16,859 I suggest you be on your way. 389 00:15:16,943 --> 00:15:18,253 Sorry to have troubled you. 390 00:15:18,383 --> 00:15:20,471 - Let's go. - Excuse me. 391 00:15:20,898 --> 00:15:22,899 My colleagues may be from the North, 392 00:15:22,985 --> 00:15:25,664 but for your information, I'm a Texan, born and bred. 393 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,625 I know that real chili has no beans, 394 00:15:27,711 --> 00:15:29,477 and when my meemaw says, "Bless your heart," 395 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,267 she means something very different. 396 00:15:31,351 --> 00:15:33,352 Now, my friend here is in need of help, 397 00:15:33,437 --> 00:15:35,697 and since our state motto is literally "friendship," 398 00:15:35,782 --> 00:15:37,663 may he please use your phone? 399 00:15:37,778 --> 00:15:39,087 ♪ Well, I work... 400 00:15:40,422 --> 00:15:41,774 Well, dang. 401 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:44,734 ♪ Eight when I am able... 402 00:15:45,351 --> 00:15:47,789 And could I trouble you for a yellow pages? 403 00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,256 Oh, boy. 404 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,700 Oh, Georgie. 405 00:15:54,784 --> 00:15:56,830 I'm so disappointed in you. 406 00:16:01,019 --> 00:16:02,673 Is everything okay? 407 00:16:03,383 --> 00:16:05,798 Yeah. Very okay. 408 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:09,236 Tell her before things go too far. 409 00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:11,039 Would you leave the kid alone? 410 00:16:11,125 --> 00:16:13,548 - He's just having some fun. - He's lying, 411 00:16:13,633 --> 00:16:15,030 and she deserves to know. 412 00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:16,243 Just let it go. 413 00:16:16,327 --> 00:16:18,078 No. He's feeling guilty, 414 00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:19,291 and he's gonna do the right thing. 415 00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:20,821 Connie, the second 416 00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:23,179 that girl's shirt comes off, it's game over. 417 00:16:23,264 --> 00:16:25,328 No. My grandson has 418 00:16:25,413 --> 00:16:27,663 more integrity than you're giving him credit... 419 00:16:28,373 --> 00:16:29,812 Amazing. 420 00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:32,976 Boy, I am stuffed. 421 00:16:33,062 --> 00:16:35,546 You know, if you're too full to drive, I could help. 422 00:16:35,984 --> 00:16:37,657 You're not driving my truck. 423 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,701 Come on. Just here in the parking lot? 424 00:16:39,786 --> 00:16:41,109 No. 425 00:16:41,456 --> 00:16:43,153 Please, Daddy? 426 00:16:44,717 --> 00:16:46,335 I know what you're doing. 427 00:16:46,544 --> 00:16:49,320 Creating memories that'll last a lifetime? 428 00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:56,110 Okay. Foot on the brake. 429 00:16:56,296 --> 00:16:58,046 Which one's that? 430 00:16:58,421 --> 00:17:01,158 Oh, boy. The one on the left. 431 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:03,375 - Got it. - All right. Now 432 00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:05,797 pull the shifter toward you 433 00:17:05,904 --> 00:17:08,396 and then down to "D," like this. Here. 434 00:17:08,481 --> 00:17:10,152 All right? 435 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:12,239 Now, the most important step. 436 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:15,789 Do not ever tell your mother we did this. 437 00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:17,414 I'm not an idiot. Let's go. 438 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,307 All right. Now 439 00:17:19,391 --> 00:17:20,874 take your foot off the brake 440 00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:23,405 and gently put it on the... 441 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,327 I'm driving! 442 00:17:27,483 --> 00:17:29,012 I know you're a human hospital, 443 00:17:29,096 --> 00:17:32,413 but the animal hospital isn't answering their phone. 444 00:17:32,796 --> 00:17:36,586 Well, is there a doctor who has a soft spot for pets? 445 00:17:36,827 --> 00:17:40,077 Maybe a nurse with pictures of cats on her desk? 446 00:17:40,281 --> 00:17:42,241 You can hang up the phone, John. 447 00:17:42,326 --> 00:17:43,896 Why? 448 00:17:44,296 --> 00:17:45,952 I think you know why. 449 00:17:46,086 --> 00:17:49,528 ♪ But only would I... 450 00:17:49,659 --> 00:17:51,632 Thank you for your time. 451 00:17:56,819 --> 00:17:58,538 Well, that's a shame. 452 00:17:58,624 --> 00:18:00,193 I'm sorry. 453 00:18:00,616 --> 00:18:03,233 It's just an armadillo, right? 454 00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:05,540 It didn't seem that way to you in the van. 455 00:18:05,982 --> 00:18:08,163 I know it's silly, but... 456 00:18:08,656 --> 00:18:12,403 when I saw it lying there all bald and helpless, 457 00:18:12,488 --> 00:18:14,226 I thought, 458 00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:16,752 "That's gonna be me one day." 459 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:21,622 That is the most damn depressing thing I have ever heard. 460 00:18:22,729 --> 00:18:25,390 The end of life does tend to be depressing. 461 00:18:25,536 --> 00:18:28,503 In New Orleans, they embrace the tradition of a jazz funeral 462 00:18:28,588 --> 00:18:31,071 where the deceased are celebrated through music. 463 00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:32,913 That's true. 464 00:18:33,156 --> 00:18:35,249 Barkeep, do you happen to have 465 00:18:35,334 --> 00:18:37,338 any Dixieland jazz on the jukebox 466 00:18:37,469 --> 00:18:40,054 to celebrate the life of an armadillo? 467 00:18:40,509 --> 00:18:42,140 Y'all need to leave now. 468 00:18:42,224 --> 00:18:44,493 - Turn away from sin... - After a quick burial 469 00:18:44,577 --> 00:18:45,805 behind the bar, 470 00:18:45,888 --> 00:18:47,502 we were back on the road. 471 00:18:47,587 --> 00:18:50,396 Dr. Sturgis tried to find some appropriate music 472 00:18:50,481 --> 00:18:52,140 for a proper send-off. 473 00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:55,528 Three Christian talk shows and a whole lot of static later, 474 00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,702 he settled on what he declared 475 00:18:57,788 --> 00:19:00,885 the Dixieland jazz of West Texas. 476 00:19:00,978 --> 00:19:02,702 "El Son de la Negra I Guadalajara" playing... 477 00:19:02,787 --> 00:19:04,441 Mariachi. 478 00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,546 Vaya con dios, armadillo. 479 00:19:12,723 --> 00:19:15,030 Vaya con dios. 480 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,316 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 481 00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:22,700 Synchronized by srjanapala 33788

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