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1
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,167
Forty year old Gyrese,
you are not the father.
2
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,925
This nigger from New York
from the olden days,
3
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,968
bumpy son, bumpy.
4
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,644
Pose some secrets
that are feeding
5
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,643
Shannon's crystal
meth addiction.
6
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,529
Now wait a minute, Kim.
7
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,762
Get the
out of my face!
8
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,127
- What's wrong with you?
- What the is your...
9
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,441
We already know what it is.
It's freestyle Friday.
10
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:07,887
A race war has erupted
11
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,247
at one of the nation 's oldest and
most prestigious institutions.
12
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,403
Outrage over an African-
American themed party
13
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,882
organized by predominantly white
students of Winchester University...
14
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,123
...has resulted in rioting
and property damages.
15
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,363
Police were called to disrupt a
massive fight that broke out...
16
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,091
...between
African-American students and partygoers
17
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,721
just after midnight-To address diversity
issues, the school have recently...
18
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,770
...appointed African-American
scholar Dr. Walter Fairbanks
19
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,683
as dean of students.
20
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,808
Last year the Dean's office
celebrated slight...
21
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,247
...gains in diverse applicants
22
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,288
but with many now calling
for Fairbanks' resignation
23
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,840
that may
have been premature.
24
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,969
School officials released a statement
claiming that an investigation...
25
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,610
into those responsible
for the party
26
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,047
and subsequent riot
is underway.
27
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,645
An invite
to the Halloween party
28
00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,529
sent via social media
29
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,807
asked guests to liberate
their inner Negro,
30
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,121
fry up chicken,
31
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,771
enjoy a cough syrup based
concoction known as purple drank...
32
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,929
Dear white people.
33
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,321
The minimum requirement
of black friends
34
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,086
needed to not seem racist has
just been raised to two.
35
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:49,041
Sorry, but your weed man
Tyrone does not count.
36
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:14,644
Hey, Kurt, you home?
37
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,929
Hey, you've reached Garmin House,
home of Lionel Higgins,
38
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,447
the only bitch on campus who
will give you a dickscount.
39
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,568
That's right, hunty,
the bigger the dick,
40
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,961
the less you have
to pay me to suck it.
41
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:35,042
Kurt, it's Lionel.
I'm locked out.
42
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,051
You know my parents
call this line.
43
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,167
All right. Bye.
44
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,924
Dear white people,
45
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,604
apparently Morgan Freeman
wasn't enough.
46
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:50,001
Obama could cure cancer
47
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,641
and somewhere white folks
will be embroiled in protest.
48
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,166
And he's only half black.
49
00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:00,208
- Talk to me.
- Hello there.
50
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,884
First time caller,
long time listener.
51
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,042
So Sam,
how would you feel
52
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,128
- if someone started a Dear Black People?
- No need.
53
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,000
Mass media from Fox News
to reality TV on VH1
54
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,003
makes it clear what white
people think of us.
55
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,491
Thanks for calling.
56
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,010
I'm pissed.
57
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,209
The whole point
of randomized housing
58
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,009
is to mix shit up.
59
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,845
I'm out here trying
to find the Olivier
60
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,082
to my Halle Berry
61
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,128
and they got me out here
62
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,089
looking like an extra
on A Different World.
63
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,926
That's not okay.
At all.
64
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,810
So your YouTube
show, it's called
65
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,530
“Doing Time
at an Ivy League?”
66
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,683
In my second year
of a four year sentence.
67
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,809
Armstrong-Parker, that's
your housing assignment?
68
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:17,363
Traditionally it's where the
hopelessly Afrocentric gather
69
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,570
to process their guilt
over not going to an HBCU.
70
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,849
Where the negros be at.
71
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,127
That's not where you
wanted to be, right?
72
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,567
Bechet House
is more my style.
73
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,569
The rich white kids.
74
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,324
Excuse me?
75
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,249
What part of Chicago are you from?
Hyde Park.
76
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,970
What street?
77
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,202
Seventy-eighth and...
Seventy-eighth!
78
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,804
That's Southside,
sweetheart.
79
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,450
You know
what they say.
80
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,080
You can take
the girl out of the hood...
81
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,441
There is nothing
hood about me.
82
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,887
Thank you
for your time.
83
00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:01,166
So, how long will you
be on campus for casting?
84
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,891
Let me explain to you
the way reality TV works.
85
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,611
I'm the producer.
I ask the questions.
86
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,210
We'll be in touch.
87
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,443
Your hair is
so cute B.T. Dubs.
88
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,684
Well, you're so cute.
Is it weaved?
89
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,764
I saw "Good Hair"
in Afro Studies.
90
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,960
So, what house
did you get?
91
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,931
Oh, Bechet, bitch.
Of course.
92
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,884
The mere thought of a
Fletcher anywhere else
93
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,286
Oh, easy.
94
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,725
It was the luck
of the draw.
95
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,450
Daddy had nothing
to do with it.
96
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,603
Besides, if I had to
pick anywhere to be,
97
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,011
it would be here.
98
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,969
Well, I'm down
to switch.
99
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,203
You get your Denzel,
I get my Gosling.
100
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,442
Oh, I gots mine.
101
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,409
Do you want
to meet him?
102
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,251
Cute, for a black boy.
103
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,163
Hey, Boo!
104
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,642
I want you
to meet my friend Coco.
105
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,371
She's new
to the house.
106
00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,488
Hi, I'm Troy.
107
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,483
Welcome to
Armstrong-Parker
108
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,801
home of the dopest dining
hall in all of Winchester.
109
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,450
Are we on duty?
110
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,522
Babe, Head of House
is always on duty.
111
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,364
Well, I should
get going.
112
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,522
Thanks, Sof.
113
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,251
Bye.
Bye.
114
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,687
So, babe, you think I got
time for a quick cut?
115
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,040
You just got it
cut last week.
116
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,770
It's a black thing, babe.
117
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,366
Since when is
OCD a black thang?
118
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,522
Babe, please don't
say “thang” like that.
119
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,723
Besides, you have a shift
over at the Politicos booth
120
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,564
and then you have
a shift at Orientation
121
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,881
and then your advisor
is coming over.
122
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,567
Okay, you know what?
I'll just wear a hat.
123
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:50,167
And then a movie maybe?
Just us?
124
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,362
Election night.
Babe, come on.
125
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,404
All right.
126
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,848
Yo, Kurt!
127
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,810
My man.
All right!
128
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,405
Hey, sis.
129
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,841
Is she kidding
with this?
130
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,526
You don't have to run again. Just
because it's her doesn't mean...
131
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,763
Babe, I can't let Sam and her wannabe
Black Panthers take the house.
132
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,446
The house needs me,
who I am.
133
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:22,289
It's who he
wants you to be.
134
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,931
So you take a couple of
psych classes and now
135
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,560
all of a sudden,
you think you're Freud?
136
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,080
Oh, a Freud reference?
Sophisticated.
137
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:34,246
Okay. Beck, Jung, Maslow.
138
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,801
Dear white
people, this just in.
139
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,645
Dating a black person to piss off
your parents is a form of racism.
140
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,404
Yo, Troy, I forget.
141
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,801
ls your major in shucking
or is it jiving?
142
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,003
Well, my major's in Shuck.
I'm minoring in Jiving...
143
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,129
Wow, you're still majoring in
trying to fuck my leftovers, right?
144
00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,124
You need
a shower.
145
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,328
You're like Artie, dawg,
146
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,006
your success ratio with the
ladies went up like 30%
147
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,684
after I started
edging you up, dawg.
148
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,484
Like, come on! You know?
149
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,927
You went from ODB to Trey Songz!
150
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,761
That's his platform?
Haircuts?
151
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,649
Oofta is
as oofta does.
152
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,566
Yes? Someone
else is running?
153
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,361
Just because we're colored don't
mean we run on colored people time.
154
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:59,002
Boycotting hot combs don't make you
an expert on colored people, Boo.
155
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,243
I care about each and
every single one of you.
156
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,561
I care about this house.
157
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,369
So if it ain't broke...
158
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,801
All right, thank
you, Troy Fairbanks.
159
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,565
Is this
because of us?
160
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,967
Because we broke up
over a year ago. Hm.
161
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,122
You seriously think you can win?
162
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,044
Troy, we live in a world where
there's a Big Mama's House 3.
163
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,205
I don't think I have a chance in hell.
Thank God.
164
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,727
Troy, my brother,
it's broke.
165
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,126
Mm-hm.
166
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,931
Troy is a legacy kid,
167
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,048
and yet it's
under his watch,
168
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,361
that Armstrong-Parker,
169
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,727
the bastion
of black culture here,
170
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,404
was gutted
171
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:07,891
by the Randomization
of Housing Act.
172
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,530
Now, second years of color
173
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,489
no longer have a say
in where they go.
174
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,210
The culture
that's been fostered
175
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,930
in this house
for two decades
176
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,082
will be wiped
out in two years.
177
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,243
This wasn't motivated by a
desire to mix things up,
178
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,722
bring about racial
and socioeconomic harmony, no.
179
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,689
The black kids
are sitting together
180
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,444
in the proverbial cafeteria
181
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,126
so they must be up to no good.
Yeah! Mm-hm.
182
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,807
Over a century of houses
grouped by sports affiliations,
183
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,491
political leanings,
majors, you name it.
184
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:38,289
Black kids
get their own house
185
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,601
and suddenly we got a problem?
186
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,961
This doesn't effect the other
houses like it does ours.
187
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,930
There are plenty of trustees,
former coaches,
188
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,002
presidents watching
out for the others
189
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:50,242
but all we have is a dean who
would rather please his massa
190
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,966
Yo, that's enough of that, Sam!
then stand up for his own!
191
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,122
Yes! Tell him! Yes!
192
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,964
I know y'all ain't
gonna vote for me.
193
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,566
Y'all ain't ready.
194
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,087
The Black Student Union and I
have brought a petition
195
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,441
to repeal the Randomization
of Housing Act.
196
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,683
I plan on bringing it to
the President and together
197
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,969
we can bring black
back to Winchester.
198
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,041
Yes!
199
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,083
It'll be by the door.
200
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,681
Quiet!
201
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,524
All right.
202
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,883
I assume everyone has the
app I created by now?
203
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,247
It's a child's app.
204
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,449
Good.
Voting may commence.
205
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,290
Okay,
206
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,805
Looks like we've
got a winner.
207
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,404
Sam White?
208
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,882
Oh, shit.
209
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,166
Congratulations.
210
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,002
So that's what
you're looking for?
211
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,448
I just want to make
good TV, sweetheart.
212
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,124
Well, I think
I'd be good TV.
213
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,400
You're getting a great
education at a great school.
214
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,569
Why don't you just be good at that.
I am.
215
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,723
And when I graduate early with an
economics degree from Winchester,
216
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,484
it'll be
the crowning achievement
217
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:38,688
of my black middle class
parents' ambitions.
218
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,127
Yeah, well, conflict is
a commodity in my industry.
219
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,441
Sam has that.
Do you?
220
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,922
So, what? You want
me to start a fight?
221
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,209
I don't want you to do anything
you wouldn't otherwise do.
222
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:59,285
Hey, you
reached Garmin House,
223
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,607
home of Lionel Higgins,
224
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:05,287
the only bitch on campus who
will give you a dickscount.
225
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,044
That's right, hunty,
the bigger the dick,
226
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,930
The less you have
to pay me to suck it.
227
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:18,442
Everything's
pretty locked up,
228
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,569
but we will find a residence
to move you into.
229
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,042
Third time's a charm, right?
230
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,044
What about
Armstrong-Parker?
231
00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,326
I don't know if that's...
232
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,323
I might have an opening.
233
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,925
That might be good
for you to be around...
234
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,810
Dean, the worst thing
about high school
235
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,644
and believe me,
it's a long list,
236
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:41,691
were the black kids.
237
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,331
Maybe it's in your head, son.
238
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:48,166
Sure, folks can be intolerant
around people like you.
239
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:54,168
And homosexuals just...
I... I don't believe in labels.
240
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,561
You like jazz, Lionel?
241
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,847
Winchester is like jazz.
242
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,368
It's a research school.
And jazz is tension-
243
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,526
The interplay
of improvised solos,
244
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,241
all creating one song.
245
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,766
Your problem is you've
got no instrument.
246
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,970
No major, no affiliations,
no solo, son.
247
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,840
I submit articles
to the Independent Observer.
248
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,848
No one reads
the Independent Observer.
249
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,685
My point is are you
playing swing or bebop?
250
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,205
You're mixing
your metaphors.
251
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,004
Are you a sax
or are you a trumpet?
252
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,491
I don't like jazz.
253
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,851
Look, I'll do what I can.
254
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,402
But not a word of this
in the Observer, okay?
255
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,811
No one reads it, right?
256
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,402
Lionel, right?
257
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,528
George. We had Civ last semester.
How's it going?
258
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,080
Oh, yeah. Great,
I mean, good, yeah.
259
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,764
Fan of your stuff
in the Observer.
260
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,081
No one reads
the Observer.
261
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,208
Have you seen this?
262
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,805
The residents
of Armstrong-Parker
263
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,689
just made her
head of house.
264
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,923
Am I crazy or is
there a there there?
265
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,049
What made you come
over here? I mean,
266
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,160
it's not like I didn't... I'm
glad you came, I just...
267
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,322
My staff.
God bless them.
268
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,721
They are whiter
than Michael Jackson's kids.
269
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,087
I mean, we're fucked
if anyone of them
270
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,605
tries to write this story and
I won't let the transfers
271
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:04,011
at the Gazette
do it first.
272
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,809
Well, this one
has his face.
273
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,126
You're in
the Black Student Union.
274
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,690
You probably know Sam.
275
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,125
You come up
with a good angle,
276
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:11,406
I want it
in the Bugle.
277
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,005
Trumpet.
Bugle. Focus.
278
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,809
The only paper
on campus
279
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,882
with an advisor
with The New York Times.
280
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,611
Only so many ways a person
can distinguish themselves
281
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,170
at a place
like this, Lionel.
282
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,642
You're good.
You belong with us.
283
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,960
Did you get it?
284
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,485
Good.
285
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,767
You've now got
the shared calendar,
286
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,008
contacts,
and official email.
287
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,006
And before I forget.
288
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,611
Event requests for the year?
Just this month.
289
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,762
They all need
your approval.
290
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,922
And don't forget
to pick your office hours.
291
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,684
You need
at least 20 per week.
292
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,683
That's absurd.
293
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,524
Well, you're now head
of a hundred residents.
294
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,524
And they all need time to
complain to your face about...
295
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,443
noise, leaky pipes,
296
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,045
gluten-free option
in the cafeteria, etc.
297
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,886
Troy, I didn't think
I was gonna win.
298
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,282
Look, I'm late
for lunch.
299
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,647
By the way,
petitioning the President
300
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,524
on the Randomization
of Housing Act
301
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,489
ain't gonna do shit.
302
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,608
None of the other houses
are concerned.
303
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,081
Because they all have a legacy
of rich and powerful allies
304
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,731
who will make sure that “random”
works to their advantage.
305
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,849
And you really think a petition
is going to change that?
306
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:10,481
Hello?
307
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,448
Yeah.
308
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,727
Okay, well, just call me the
minute there's an update.
309
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,164
The
Armstrong-Parker dining hall
310
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,969
is the epicenter
of black culture
311
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,804
as it stands
at Winchester.
312
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,008
Only here can you
commiserate, celebrate,
313
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,321
and discuss everything
from Kanye West lyrics
314
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:40,291
to theoretical relativism
all in a sitting...
315
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,126
not to mention find someone
who can actually do your hair.
316
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,360
You still using your ID?
317
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,204
I always
forget passwords.
318
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,770
You are begging
to get hacked.
319
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,604
Good thing
the one evil techno-genius
320
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,284
thinking like that
is on my side.
321
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,964
We was robbed.
322
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,849
That election
was suspect, man.
323
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,251
There is this
one other sister
324
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,810
in my
Relativity class
325
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,450
and I'll be damned
if our professor
326
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,204
doesn't call me Loretta
every goddamn time.
327
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,408
We all look the same.
328
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,801
Programming professor gets me and
Martin here mixed up constantly.
329
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,291
You should be
so lucky.
330
00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,840
Cute. You get that
at Toys "R" Us?
331
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,445
The talented tenth always
332
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,000
has to bust its ass
a little bit harder
333
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,650
but I don't see
what the point is
334
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,722
in blaming white folks
for everything.
335
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,491
Who's blaming, Blue Eyes? I
really don't see the issue.
336
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,450
Never had one. Never ran
into any lynch mobs.
337
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,841
Lynch mob's still here.
Just re-branded itself.
338
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,969
As what, pray tell?
The Republican Party.
339
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,929
You want to know how
this world sees you?
340
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,650
You go to a Young
Republican's meeting
341
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,131
and bring up welfare.
342
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,283
Or Immigration.
Or gay rights.
343
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,407
Bullshit.
344
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:45,481
You have
something to add?
345
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,483
Me? Yeah, I do.
346
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,001
Look, your biggest
athletes, right?
347
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,730
Movies stars...
348
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,883
Hell, guys,
my president is black.
349
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,962
Okay, sometimes I think
the hardest thing to be
350
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,361
in the American
work force right now
351
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,727
is an educated
white guy.
352
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,246
You're not serious?
353
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,607
Hey look, you guys still
got affirmative action,
354
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,648
that's all
I'm saying.
355
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,530
I'm sorry, what exactly
are you doing here?
356
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,649
All right, check this out.
You ready? Obama, right?
357
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,961
Leader of the free world.
358
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,362
He gets into Harvard
based on... You!
359
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,091
Too late.
Affirmative action.
360
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,050
You know who's not
president right now? No?
361
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:28,009
The guy who didn't get in.
362
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,607
Well, on behalf of all the
colored folks in the room
363
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,921
let me apologize to all the
better qualified white students
364
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,331
whose place
we're taking up.
365
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,323
No, it's fine.
We're okay.
366
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,283
I'm sorry,
did you get lost?
367
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,368
Bechet is that way.
368
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,442
Oh, I know where it is. I'm
actually supposed to eat there.
369
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,285
This is the only dining hall
that you can actually
370
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,886
get yourself some
chicken and waffles.
371
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:54,247
Look, you're
Dear White People, right?
372
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,731
It's funny.
373
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,211
It's funny stuff,
it really is.
374
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,089
How have we
not staffed you yet?
375
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,049
Oh, me?
Oh what?
376
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,805
On Pastiche, your
uninspired humor magazine?
377
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,360
It's actually much more than
just a magazine, sweetheart.
378
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,091
SNL staff is basically half
Lampoon, half Pastiche.
379
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:10,650
Same goes
for the network comedies.
380
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,609
And what gives you
clubhouse kids
381
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,286
the right to come
to our dining hall?
382
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,600
You don't live here.
383
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:17,841
Sam, what
are you doing?
384
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,649
So, you
can't eat here.
385
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:20,801
Chill, Sam. Damn, all right?
Let the man...
386
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,008
Got this.
Got this.
387
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,764
Look, who are you
to throw me out?
388
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:29,050
Oh! Well, I think
I'm head of this house.
389
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,685
And I'm doing
things my way.
390
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,609
Your way.
391
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,605
Excuse me.
392
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,806
Serious question.
Do you know who I am?
393
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:51,723
Yeah, I know your dad
is the president. Good.
394
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:53,643
He's the same one
that has been pushing
395
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,848
to break up this
house for a decade.
396
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,241
What's wrong? Is he afraid that
letting the negros gather in groups
397
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,005
might start a little
rebellion on his plantation?
398
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:05,324
Oh, well, then you tell him
from me, that he should be.
399
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,968
Yeah.
Bad move.
400
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,441
Let's go.
401
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,204
Excuse me. Sorry.
402
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,203
Excuse us.
403
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,207
Uhhh...
404
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,851
You too.
405
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,288
Me? Yeah, I'm sorry.
Do you live here?
406
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,369
She the man.
She the man.
407
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,287
Dear white
people, stop dancing.
408
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,286
The fuck?
409
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,960
Yeah, well, conflict
is a commodity in my industry.
410
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,088
Sam has that.
Do you?
411
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,367
Welcome, muffins.
412
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,442
So, I hate
to do it to you
413
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,046
but I'm gonna have to get real
black with you for a second.
414
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,681
So the other day, a girl had
the nerve to fix her mouth
415
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,491
and ask me if my
hair was weaved.
416
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,086
Weaved?
Really, bitch?
417
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,924
First of all, if you're
going to fix your mouth
418
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,604
to ask me
something like that,
419
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,445
say it right, please?
It's weave.
420
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,251
Noun. Present tense.
421
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,004
Second of all,
don't assume
422
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,963
just because you see
a sister with some hair
423
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,367
that it's a weave.
Is it?
424
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,171
If a bitch could grow straight Indian
hair directly out of her own head,
425
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,686
she wouldn't have just overdrafted
her account paying for this shit
426
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,410
but that ain't
your business, Boo-Boo.
427
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,244
Are those your lips, sweetie?
428
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,402
Is that really your skin?
429
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:37,005
These white girls
and their tans,
430
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,765
they're starting
to get darker than me
431
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,207
which isn't that dark.
432
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,402
Dear white people,
what do I think about it?
433
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,725
Okay. Anyone have
any comments
434
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,644
for Sam's “Rebirth
of a Nation?”
435
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,049
Could I?
Gabe, go ahead.
436
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:10,804
I dig the
silent movie thing,
437
00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:12,609
but it's
a little self-congratulatory.
438
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,045
Light on story
439
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,521
and frankly
thematically dubious.
440
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,931
Anybody else?
441
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,211
Sam?
442
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,770
Before you say anything
443
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,569
might I remind you
that I sat through
444
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,130
A Birth of a Nation,
Gone with the Wind,
445
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,168
and Tarantino week
without protest.
446
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,163
Yeah, and might I also
remind you that I read
447
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,289
your entire 15 page,
unsolicited treatise
448
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,964
on why the Gremlins
is actually about
449
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,849
suburban white fear
of black culture.
450
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,888
The gremlins are loud,
talk in slang,
451
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,564
are addicted
to fried chicken,
452
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,001
and freak out
when you get their hair wet.
453
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,128
The only problem that I have with
your film is that it was late.
454
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:47,725
The silent projects
were last semester.
455
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,723
You were supposed
to e-mail me
456
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:50,926
your sound treatment
over the summer.
457
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,445
I have radio, BSU,
458
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,760
now this Head of House thing.
459
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,888
Okay, do you want this?
460
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,123
Look, this thing might as
well be my right hand.
461
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,770
I was busy this summer.
462
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:02,365
Your peers are out
getting internships,
463
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,330
making short films.
My dad was sick.
464
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,845
I had to go home.
465
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,684
If you need time,
take it.
466
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:10,205
But if you want
to be here next semester...
467
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,089
I do.
Pull if together!
468
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:13,525
This is Winchester.
469
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,443
Thematically dubious.
470
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,287
Well, what was that
supposed to be about exactly?
471
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,408
You're thematically dubious!
472
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,448
Since when do TA's
give critiques?
473
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,807
You invoke minstrelsy for
shock value, to what end?
474
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,087
To invoke the same feeling I
get when I turn on the TV
475
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,209
and see some so-called reality
star shuck and jive for ratings
476
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,521
egged on by no doubt
white producers.
477
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,409
Or the sassy
black secretary
478
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,164
who has no backstory
or character development
479
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,605
aside from her skin color.
480
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,808
So it's a tit
for tat?
481
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,888
Are you honestly saying that
art can't be reactionary?
482
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,920
You're reacting to something
that's 100 years old.
483
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:00,405
Because fear of black men
involved in U.S. government
484
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,244
is a completely
antiquated concept.
485
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,243
No social relevance today.
486
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:05,685
I think that sometimes
you should hold
487
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,728
a mirror up
to your audience
488
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,802
rather than dropping an
ideological piano on their head.
489
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,042
I just think that works that
deal with the African Diaspora
490
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,168
through a post-modern lens
are outright rejected
491
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,890
unless handled
by a white artist.
492
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,531
African Diaspora?
Yeah, I said it.
493
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,524
I'm sorry, but blackface is
alive and well in our culture.
494
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,250
Who primarily buys
hip hop,
495
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,448
watches Housewives
of Atlanta ?
496
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,127
The same homogenized images of
black people over and over again?
497
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,690
White people, Gabe.
498
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,125
Who goes to see
Tyler Perry movies?
499
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,043
We're an underfed community.
500
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,043
None of this changes the
fact that the vibrancy,
501
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,168
the complexity of black
culture has been distilled
502
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,163
into commodities and marketing
schemes to be bought and sold.
503
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,208
To the detriment of the so
called “real thing.” Got it.
504
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,521
It means that I
am indistinguishable
505
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,807
from the so called
“urban” images
506
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,326
of black folks used to amuse
and market to white America.
507
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:52,125
And the commodification of culture is
uniquely oppressive to black people? Mm-hm.
508
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,123
So when Kanye raps
about Louis V
509
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,964
and Rolexes
and Classical art
510
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,088
exactly what exploited
pockets of Black America
511
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,407
are those references
being mined from? Fro...
512
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,811
On your knees.
513
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,287
What?
514
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:38,567
You dream
in “Cosby” again?
515
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:45,410
My hair was so straight.
My sweater so big.
516
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:46,891
I told you
about that?
517
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,406
Hey so, this whole
Head of House thing. Congrats?
518
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:36,884
Yeah, it's, it's...
519
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,803
Weird, right?
520
00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,168
I never took you
as a student politician.
521
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,321
Yeah, well...
522
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,285
Sam?
523
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,729
What are we doing?
524
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:57,641
Fucking.
525
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,608
Dear white people,
526
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,728
please stop
touching my hair.
527
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,963
Does this look
like a petting zoo to you?
528
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,884
Kurt, it's 3:00.
529
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:42,328
I know
it's already 3:00.
530
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:46,564
Yo, can I
hit that bottle?
531
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,211
Y.O.L.O. my nigga!
532
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:50,731
We don't even have
a staff yet.
533
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,131
I don't understand...
534
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:53,651
Why are we even
planning this?
535
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:54,846
Everybody wants
to be on our staff.
536
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:56,604
That's the easy part.
537
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,569
Look, we're doing staff
picks at game night.
538
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,642
RSVPs are already through
the roof on that anyway.
539
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,802
Halloween is
our premiere party.
540
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,611
The waitlist
is already 100 deep.
541
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,249
Guys, we gotta
do something huge
542
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,402
to outdo this summer.
543
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,608
We can always do
East-West hip hop party.
544
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,291
Get the honeys up on this piece.
“Honeys.” You're from Vermont.
545
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,806
Guys, what's
the Pastiche motto?
546
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,167
“Sharpen thy sword.”
547
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,924
You mean to tell me
548
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,128
our motto is a euphemism
for jerking off?
549
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,687
No. It's a reminder that satire
is the weapon of reason.
550
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,526
So who on campus
is being most unreasonable?
551
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,125
You know what it's
a reminder to me of?
552
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,929
How gay Gordon is.
553
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,202
Was that a reasonable
attempt What do you want?
554
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,561
At a quip, Mitch? Could you
say reasonable one more time?
555
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,967
lt makes you sound good-
Guys, shut up.
556
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,804
Knowing Lil Wayne lyrics
557
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:55,087
no longer earns you
an honorary black card.
558
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,731
It just reminds me of how often
you say the word “nigga ”
559
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:59,484
when no one black
is around
560
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,131
as is required
in reciting said lyrics.
561
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,090
Look at that.
562
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,844
God, who does Sam
think she is?
563
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,809
Seriously, dude, it's like
564
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:14,887
Spike Lee and Oprah had some
sort of pissed off baby.
565
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,803
Hey.
566
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,120
Oooh.
567
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,601
Uh-huh.
Can we?
Could we?
568
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,170
How?
569
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:25,722
Easy-
570
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:27,962
Hi, Lionel.
What do you want?
571
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:32,090
Lionel, I spoke
with the dean today.
572
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,128
We had a very
enlightening conversation.
573
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,407
And I just wanted
to let you know
574
00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:40,121
I'm sorry
about the voice message.
575
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,363
Do you accept?
Do you?
576
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,442
Please put that away.
577
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,403
Sometimes you just got to talk
to these people in a language
578
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,488
that they're
going to understand.
579
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:54,361
Pathetic.
What was that?
580
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,727
All right.
581
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,451
Wherever they ship
you off to
582
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,842
be sure to pack
a sense of humor, all right?
583
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,167
The Tip Test.
584
00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:29,288
You hit up
Jelly's for a snack.
585
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,920
Your waitress mistakes you for
someone who looks like you, black,
586
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,089
who once ran up a $30 bill
and left a dollar tip.
587
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:39,290
You watch all the other
customers order before you do...
588
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,488
Pastrami sandwich on rye.
589
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:45,007
And then proceed to wait no less
than 40 minutes for your food.
590
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:50,966
How do you tip?
591
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,644
A-
592
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:54,370
40 minutes? She's lucky
if she gets 40 cents.
593
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,091
Okay, you do a good
job, maybe see a tip.
594
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,160
B-
595
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,488
She was tripping, but...
596
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,289
15% is
the least I can do.
597
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:05,328
Or C.
598
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:07,482
I reject the stereotype that
African-Americans do not tip.
599
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,082
I will leave 20... no, 25,
just to prove that I can.
600
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:19,768
One hundred. Oofta. Nose job.
601
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,051
Dear white people,
602
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,401
In a shocking reversal,
603
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,051
using the term "African-American
" is borderline racist now.
604
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:33,600
It turns out if you're too worried
about political correctness
605
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,603
to say "black",
odds are...
606
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:38,411
you secretly just want
to call us niggers anyway,
607
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:42,326
and truth be told, I'd rather
you just be honest about it.
608
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,970
Free speech, my ass.
609
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,407
Oh, Stalin quotes
for 200, please?
610
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,891
Oh, you're joking
about this?
611
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,610
Oh, I'm sorry.
612
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:51,523
Was I supposed to take
"Free speech, my ass"
613
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,045
as a legitimate
suggestion.
614
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,248
This is your office's
issue, Walter.
615
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:57,800
Especially after that episode
with Kurt in the dining hall.
616
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,531
Oh, all race issues
are my issues.
617
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,682
This is a student issue,
618
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,922
and you are the Dean
of Students, aren't you?
619
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,923
The last thing we need
620
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,002
is race war in the papers
across this country.
621
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,691
How do you think the donor base
will feel about that?
622
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,081
The fundraiser
is four weeks away.
623
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,811
How bad is
this deficit of yours?
624
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,604
It's worse.
625
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,523
And I want
to make something really clear.
626
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,331
If this gets any bigger at all,
it's on you, Walter.
627
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,290
Racism is over in America.
628
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,721
What? The only people who
are thinking about it are,
629
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,564
I don't know...
Mexicans, probably.
630
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,041
Come on in, son.
I was just leaving.
631
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,561
President Fletcher.
632
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,608
You call me Herb, son.
All right.
633
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,161
Fletcher tells me his son
got his ass handed to him.
634
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:50,401
About time.
635
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,801
No, Sam was out of line.
636
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:54,769
Kurt is all right.
637
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:57,810
Well, but you're supposed
to be better than all right.
638
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,969
Since when do we start
losing elections, Troy?
639
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,044
Well, Dad, the Housing Act passing
without a fight didn't help.
640
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:07,283
And what did I tell you
about excuses?
641
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,045
Pops, my course load
is full anyway.
642
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,771
I'm head of Econ. Board,
643
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,810
plus, I'm uh...
644
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,521
I'm thinking
about joining Pastiche.
645
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,246
Pastiche. Yeah, you know,
to help round out the rest.
646
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,046
On Kurt Fletcher's staff.
647
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,202
I'll be goddamned
if after 20 years...
648
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,567
you're working
for that dumb-ass's son.
649
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,404
Yes, sir.
650
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,847
Fletcher and I
graduated one year apart.
651
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,207
He barely made it through.
652
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,806
I graduated summa cum laude.
653
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,968
Now who is president
and who is dean?
654
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,929
What's the difference?
655
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,401
Oh, a few hundred thousand
dollars a year, for starters.
656
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,848
Understand
what I'm saying?
657
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,163
What happened between you and Sam
that she's coming after you now?
658
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,243
Sophia.
659
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,970
I mean, you do remember
Sophia, don't you,
660
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,883
daughter of the president,
Psych. major,
661
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:02,291
"Has the whole world
ahead of her, Troy"?
662
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,880
Watch your tone.
Sorry, sir.
663
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,811
So you lost the house.
664
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,445
Onto the school presidency.
665
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,249
It would be good to show
that the campus
666
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,847
is capable of electing
someone like you...
667
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,121
as school president.
668
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,171
Someone like me.
669
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,083
Someone like you.
670
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,648
Hey, Babe,
hat or no hat?
671
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,842
Are you wearing that?
672
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,251
I don't have to be.
673
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,123
Hey, Boo.
674
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,567
How about we put
675
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,087
some of your newfound
free time to good use, hm?
676
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,889
It's been a while since we...
677
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,849
What is with
all this "Boo" stuff?
678
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,720
Since you fucked me
with your big, black cock.
679
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,647
It used to turn you on
when I talked like that.
680
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,609
Is it me?
681
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:23,365
Sweetheart, I love you.
682
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,165
Is it Sam?
Can we please just get ready?
683
00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,811
Why? I hate
my brother's friends.
684
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,769
So you're not going with me.
685
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:32,001
You'd go without me?
686
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,481
But... you're my guest.
687
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,210
I mean, you could
just hang out here and I'll...
688
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,248
What is it
with you and my brother?
689
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:39,606
Are you in love with him?
690
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,048
Is this some, like, DL shit?
691
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:44,326
DL shit?
692
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,729
Wait, Sophia, hold on.
Just stay.
693
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,126
No, I'm not going.
All right, I'll go with you.
694
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,129
No.
I'll- I'll go with you.
695
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,249
Sophia?
696
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:56,766
Oh, my God.
He did not.
697
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,405
Oh, he did.
You are so crazy.
698
00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,686
Oh, yeah.
699
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,931
I could do better.
700
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,606
Shh, wait, wait.
Quiet. Wait, wait.
I want to watch this.
701
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,604
If a bitch could grow straight Indian
hair directly out of her own head,
702
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,887
she wouldn't have just overdrafted
her account paying for this shit...
703
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,450
but that ain't
your business, Boo-Boo.
704
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,205
Oh, my God.
l am so sharing this.
705
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,725
Send me the link.
706
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:21,881
I totally will.
707
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,087
Who was that?
708
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,243
New staffer, maybe.
709
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:36,450
Don't worry. The negro at the
door is not here to rape you.
710
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,249
So this is what
editors do?
711
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:39,765
We're taking a break.
712
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:42,571
What are you
doing here?
713
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:45,007
You said you want me to drop in and
tell you how the story was going.
714
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,686
Like next week.
715
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,525
It's Saturday night. You don't
have anywhere else to be?
716
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,887
Well, it was either this
or the new Madea movie.
717
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,645
Oh, dear God.
Where does she go this time?
718
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:56,720
Dialysis?
719
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,408
Man, fuck Tyler Perry.
720
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:03,800
Yes, can we have a movie with,
you know, characters in them
721
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,081
instead of stereotypes
wrapped in Christian dogma?
722
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,447
Why is every educated person
inherently evil?
723
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,603
Why is this nigga in a motherfucking
dress all the motherfucking time?
724
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,921
How come the only black movies
Hollywood wants to make
725
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,764
are ones with black Mamies
in fat suits?
726
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,729
Or black women
in pain, man?
727
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,484
So basically, we got
black people dying in the past
728
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,882
and black people
dying in the present.
729
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,201
Most people are here
to see Fang 9.
730
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:28,521
It's got 2 Chainz in it.
731
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,409
Oh!
732
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,322
Would you stop stereotyping
yourself and put that down?
733
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,084
This ain't Friday, man.
734
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,969
Okay, whatever.
Yo, Sam...
735
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:40,010
We gotta... we gotta talk
about this protest, girl.
736
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,130
When are we taking the housing
fight to the president?
737
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,727
House folded on sponsoring the rally.
What do we need a sponsor for?
738
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,451
Demonstrations that aren't sponsored
by a house can get shut down.
739
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,126
What about the house
that you're head of?
740
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,680
Hey, Sam,
I read Ebony and Ivy.
741
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,969
What's with the "oofta" and
"nose job" and "100" stuff?
742
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,050
You want me to break
it down for you? Yeah.
743
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,128
You want to know
an ideal Friday in my world?
744
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,249
A fifth of whiskey
and my T-Bone Walker records.
745
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,924
Real talk.
746
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,405
Yo, I'm sorry.
747
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,244
Who the fuck
is T-Bone Walker?
748
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,164
Only the most
influential pioneer
749
00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,562
of electric and jump blues, bro.
Know your roots, player.
750
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,281
There are only a few ways colored folk
can survive at a place like this.
751
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,170
White folks always be on stuff,
like, decades too late,
752
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:27,402
and then y'all want to act
like you discovered some shit.
753
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,370
An "oofta"
is a jazz-age term
754
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,087
for Bojangle types who blacked
it up for white audiences.
755
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,162
Rock, jazz, blues.
756
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:37,651
Nigga, what you got on
right now?
757
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:39,848
Some PE.
Public Enemy, my nig...
758
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,287
No! Mm-mm.
759
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,600
Watch that, man.
760
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,045
Hey, you just called him.
761
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,162
Look, y'all get
country clubs.
762
00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:49,641
We get to say "nigger".
763
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:54,601
An oofta modulates his blackness
up or down depending on the crowd
764
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,011
and what he wants
from them.
765
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,128
What about golf, man?
766
00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,565
Or all of our girls?
767
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:01,290
What do you mean,
all your girls?
768
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,522
Well, there's O.J.
There's Wesley Snipes.
769
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,250
There's Tiger Woods.
770
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,049
Troy over here.
Exactly.
771
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,726
No, there's a word
for that. Okay?
772
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,121
"Reparation."
773
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,771
Forty white bitches
and a mule.
774
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,969
You know, I think Troy would
be great for the talk show,
775
00:45:18,040 --> 00:45:19,530
don't you think, Kurt?
776
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:23,880
I fold.
777
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,921
Okay, and a nose job
is a wannabe?
778
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,206
Sort of.
779
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,203
Have you seen this?
No.
780
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,248
Dear white people
using Instagram.
781
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,324
You have an iPhone
and you go on hikes.
782
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:41,927
I get it-
783
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,049
Nose jobs smooth their black
edges and try to blend in.
784
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,326
What's up, Mama?
785
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,528
Mm, don't talk like that.
786
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:50,165
Don't I know you
from somewhere?
787
00:45:50,240 --> 00:45:51,400
Hey, where do I
know you from?
788
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,568
She was in the video.
789
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,211
Oh, yeah, video girl.
Check it out.
790
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,203
I hate to do it to you,
but I'm going to have to get
791
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,408
real black with you
for a second.
792
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:03,006
A nose job's worst
fear is that their blackness
793
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:06,004
might cause a fuss
or draw undue attention
794
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,048
so they use it
to self-deprecate.
795
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,810
These white girls
and their tans,
796
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:11,484
they're starting to get
darker than me,
797
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,245
which isn't that dark.
798
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:18,086
Hmm, 40,000 views already.
799
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,561
Looks like somebody
submitted you on Buzzfeed.
800
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,449
You're blowing up.
801
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,251
Hey, you want me to get you
a refill or something?
802
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:28,005
Let me guess.
803
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:29,889
You're from Ohio.
804
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,088
No, I'm actually
from Vermont.
805
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,083
But the west side.
806
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,322
So what's your beef
with Dear White People?
807
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,045
Dear White People,
how do I feel about it?
808
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,407
It's blacker-than-thou
propaganda
809
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,326
from a bougie Lisa Bonet wannabe
who smells like patchouli.
810
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:50,846
But frankly, I can't believe we're
letting Sam get away with it.
811
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,365
That's awesome.
812
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,726
Seriously.
813
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:54,847
That's good.
That's nice.
814
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:56,081
And 100?
815
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:57,810
Just keeping it 100.
816
00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:01,646
Just being black as hell,
just 'cause.
817
00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:03,563
What about just
being yourself?
818
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,165
Like I said.
819
00:47:05,240 --> 00:47:08,801
You don't mind, do you?
Of course not.
820
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,360
There are only a few
ways colored folks can survive
821
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:12,726
at a place like this.
822
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:13,881
All right,
so then what?
823
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:15,610
So then Sam says...
824
00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:17,603
"ls Daddy scared
that the negroes
825
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,489
are going to start a rebellion
on the plantation?"
826
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,291
To Kurt Fletcher.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
827
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,129
Okay, we've got
a news item.
828
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,567
But there's something
bigger here.
829
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,961
It's a profile piece
830
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,566
on Armstrong-Parker and Sam
White's pseudo revolution.
831
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,483
What's the headline?
832
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:35,961
An outdated nationalist
seeks purpose, starts race war?
833
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,884
Beer is in the corner.
834
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:41,809
We'll bang out
the news item tonight
835
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:43,720
and we'll work on
the profile piece next week.
836
00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:53,562
Yo, man.
837
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,842
Now you know
I wasn't talking about Soph
838
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,968
with that whole
40 bitches thing, man.
839
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,485
I was just, you know...
Just what?
840
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,642
Just trying to get
on my staff?
841
00:48:01,720 --> 00:48:04,849
I mean, I haven't really
thought... Come on, bullshit.
842
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,366
Look, game night is when we make
our bids for the new staff, okay?
843
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,646
That's why this guy is here,
844
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:11,087
and why everybody's here.
845
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,202
I just think having good hair
846
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,409
and carrying on
with a degree of sophistication
847
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,164
doesn't make me a traitor
to the race.
848
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:20,129
Absolutely.
849
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:21,964
You want to know why they
used to call me Black Mitch?
850
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,048
Absolutely.
Nobody called you that.
851
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,680
Come on, what were you
doing back there?
852
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,529
You're-you're practically
sitting there.
853
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:29,170
You're about like to bust out
some kind of tap dance.
854
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,208
Come on, man.
I'm a Poli-Sci major, bro.
855
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,169
I just came to hang out.
It doesn't matter.
856
00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:37,131
Either way. Look, either way
my staff, they like you.
857
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,884
A lot.
858
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:42,961
But you don't.
859
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,526
Look, this thing
with you and Soph...
860
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:49,647
I'm good to her.
861
00:48:49,720 --> 00:48:50,720
It doesn't matter.
862
00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:54,049
Our dads have been playing
this chess match
863
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,891
off and on since 1972.
864
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,644
What and Sophie
is the white queen?
865
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:01,041
You're a pawn, Troy.
866
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,603
And maybe it's time
you got off the board.
867
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:11,011
Here's the deal.
Every year we throw a party.
868
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,606
Right? The whole point
is to mock
869
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:17,122
the self-important and moronic
entities of the campus.
870
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,329
Now, one way to get staffed
871
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,402
is to write an invite
for the party.
872
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,444
Our invites, they're-
they're freaking legendary.
873
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,000
You know, every year we make the Gawker.
We make the Post.
874
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,241
Tons of blogs.
875
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,328
The important thing is
876
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,290
is if your invite is the one
that is picked to be sent out,
877
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:38,160
then you're guaranteed
a spot on our staff.
878
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,607
Okay.
879
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,205
So what is
this year's theme?
880
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,408
It's...
881
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:46,005
I don't know.
882
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:47,491
Your party is, like,
two weeks away.
883
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:49,005
Yeah, I know.
884
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:50,730
Kurt, I want you
to meet someone.
885
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:54,641
You know Coco?
886
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,489
You guys got
a party coming up?
887
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:04,491
Got to rally, Sam. Time is now.
Reggie, use your head.
888
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,881
Do you really think that a rally
is going to change things?
889
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,009
It will do a hell of a lot more than
a radio show with views on YouTube.
890
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:11,809
Oh, okay.
891
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,726
Look... We got power.
892
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,201
Okay? And it's time
we use it.
893
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:19,441
We earned it.
894
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:21,249
We?
Oh, that's funny
895
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,322
'cause I didn't see you
running for shit, Reggie.
896
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,245
Sam.
897
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,206
Really?
Tired.
898
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,009
Don't one word me.
899
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,284
Did we go too far?
900
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,727
Did we pass
Armstrong-Parker?
901
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,725
No, I'm Garmin.
902
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,848
Fancy.
903
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,809
Why do you
always got to
904
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,882
snap at me
all the time?
905
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,287
I'm around you 24/7
like a lapdog,
906
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,091
and I don't even really be messing
with no redbone chicks like that.
907
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:17,040
Don't call me that. Girl, I thought
you was Puerto Rican when I met you.
908
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,526
Oh, okay. Oh, you can dish
it, but you can't take it?
909
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,125
No, I'm taking
my ass home.
910
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,649
George...
911
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:29,849
I'm not really down
with Sam,
912
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,445
and I'm not in the BSU.
913
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,648
I got kicked out
of Armstrong-Parker
914
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,165
same as Kurt.
915
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,243
But I'm going to write
a good article.
916
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,401
Okay?
917
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:43,771
Come on, Sam.
918
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:45,968
You know how I feel
about you.
919
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,321
How am I supposed to know
how you feel about me?
920
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:49,970
You know what?
921
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:53,005
Forgive me if I see
something in you,
922
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,128
something inspiring.
923
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,003
Some folks like me
can get behind.
924
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,008
Tell me you'll
set up the rally.
925
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,482
I'll set up the rally.
926
00:52:59,240 --> 00:53:01,163
Absolutely. Right?
I think so.
927
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,203
I think...
I think it's bold.
928
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,408
I think it's ironic.
929
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,164
I think it's
everything we need,
930
00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:09,402
and don't tell me
I'm the only one...
931
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,608
that thinks Sam White's little
movement needs to be cut down to size.
932
00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:13,245
- Right, right?
- Yep.
933
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,607
Beautiful. Mitch?
934
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,409
You got
your hip-hop party, man.
935
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,801
Bolly, bolly.
936
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,041
I'm telling you, man.
937
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,485
This is going to be huge.
938
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,847
Fucking epic.
939
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,490
If you'll excuse us,
940
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:28,403
we will be in touch.
941
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:29,925
Troy...
942
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,604
get off the board, man.
943
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:39,686
It was nice seeing you again.
944
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:41,205
Where's Sophia?
945
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:46,608
I have no idea.
Hmm.
946
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,603
Can't wait to see what
story you come up with.
947
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,285
Night, Lionel.
948
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,287
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
949
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:06,601
Party is not over.
950
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:09,087
It's two
o'clock in the morning.
951
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,128
Sorry, bro.
952
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,645
Invitation only.
953
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:44,526
Trouble in paradise?
954
00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,004
Figures.
955
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,285
Nothing.
956
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,284
I'm sure you have
something else
957
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,922
fair and petite
and fair
958
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,650
lined up for that drink.
959
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,489
And what's that
supposed to mean?
960
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:17,967
Oh, no, really,
it's fine.
961
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,520
I'm not even really
into black dudes anyway.
962
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,445
Coco, huh?
963
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,761
Colandrea doesn't exactly
964
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,127
pass the resume test,
you know?
965
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,044
Can you fucking die?
966
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:39,964
I mean, my parents really
should have just named me
967
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,886
Ghetto-ass
Hoodrat-ass Aneisha.
968
00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:00,688
Do you indulge?
969
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,489
You know, it is 10 A.M.
970
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:04,369
Hmm.
971
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,090
I don't mess
with that stuff.
972
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:12,247
You sure you
don't like black guys?
973
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,482
Girl like me
is just a placeholder
974
00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:17,046
for y'all
at a place like this.
975
00:56:17,120 --> 00:56:18,770
I'm not like that.
976
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,683
I don't think
Sam would agree.
977
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,967
Poor thing.
978
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,691
She was light-skinned
and everything.
979
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,126
Hell, I said
it wasn't like that.
980
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,803
All right?
981
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:37,645
My Pops, he wanted me
with Fletcher's daughter.
982
00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:41,486
Those two have been in competition with
each other ever since they went here.
983
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,450
He's not going to like you running
with those Pastiche boys, is he?
984
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,251
If I even get tapped.
985
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,130
You will.
986
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:52,441
You should do it.
987
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,124
They all land
somewhere big,
988
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:57,329
some before
they even graduate.
989
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,880
I've seen you in front
of a crowd, Troy.
990
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:03,248
I bet you could be famous.
991
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:06,005
So is that
what you want?
992
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:07,445
To be famous?
993
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,369
I want people...
994
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,408
to know my name.
995
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,528
Which one?
996
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:33,650
"We want you.
997
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,650
"Come by Ellington
tomorrow at eight."
998
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,444
Anything?
999
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,240
Thanks.
1000
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,484
You're going to have to stand
up to him sooner or later
1001
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,284
You said you loved me.
1002
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:22,840
I like you a lot.
1003
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,129
What do you do...
1004
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:28,044
when you go
in the bathroom?
1005
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,282
Or is it just to get
away from me?
1006
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,368
I smoke weed.
1007
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,681
And I write jokes.
1008
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,526
What the hell are you doing here?
This is my apartment.
1009
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:44,246
Like hell it is.
1010
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:45,810
Dean said this
was the only opening.
1011
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:47,211
Well, head of house
doesn't share.
1012
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,362
But you're not
head of house.
1013
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:16,204
Yo, come on, guys.
Are you serious?
1014
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,851
All right, all right,
I think they've had enough.
1015
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:44,765
Hello.
1016
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,205
Finally made it in.
1017
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:47,645
You moved
around a lot, right?
1018
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,848
You must
have been terrified
1019
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:52,161
when you saw Armstrong-Parker
written on your moving assignment.
1020
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:53,571
I was just finishing up.
1021
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:56,530
Do black people scare you?
No.
1022
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,443
You're too scared
to even ask anyone for a cut.
1023
01:00:58,520 --> 01:00:59,726
I'm growing it out.
1024
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:01,365
He's growing it out.
1025
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,125
You're fostering
an ecosystem.
1026
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:06,362
My man, how come
you never come to BSU?
1027
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,887
I listened to Mumford & Sons
and watch Robert Altman movies.
1028
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,644
You really think I'm black
enough for the Union?
1029
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:14,769
Yeah, l love
Robert Altman.
1030
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:16,251
Fucker goes in.
1031
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,049
All right.
1032
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:20,327
We're not homophobes,
you know, black folks.
1033
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,084
I'm listening
to Frank Ocean right now.
1034
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,321
I don't give a fuck.
1035
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:25,323
I'm-I'm late for class.
1036
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:28,370
Look, you're the new black
voice of the Bugle.
1037
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,568
We 're just trying to figure out
if you're a friend or a foe.
1038
01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:33,405
We got to protect
our girl.
1039
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:36,924
I'm not even on staff.
1040
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,445
I mean, I have to make
good on my assignment.
1041
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:40,488
Assignment,
what's the story?
1042
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,291
It's a profile piece on black
culture here at Winchester.
1043
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:46,045
Which you are
so clearly an expert on.
1044
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:49,044
Tell me, man. What's harder? Being
black enough for the black kids,
1045
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:50,480
or black enough
for the white ones?
1046
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,170
Being neither.
1047
01:01:58,520 --> 01:01:59,760
Really, Sam?
1048
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:40,406
Running late...
1049
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:43,366
for your little rally?
1050
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,447
Forget your sign?
1051
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,524
You honestly think this is in the
spirit of Armstrong-Parker house?
1052
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,524
The role of counterculture
is to wake up the mainstream.
1053
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:55,284
I have furniture
older than you.
1054
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:57,010
Counterculture?
1055
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,082
Is that what
you think this is?
1056
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,367
Your little show?
What about my show?
1057
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,807
Your show is racist.
1058
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,405
Black people
can't be racist.
1059
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,051
Prejudiced, yes,
but not racist.
1060
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:11,203
Racism describes a system of
disadvantage based on race.
1061
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:13,123
Black people can't be racist,
1062
01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:15,202
because we don't stand
to benefit from such a system.
1063
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:17,408
Your antics
are making press, Sam.
1064
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:21,047
And press like this keeps men like
President Fletcher up at night.
1065
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,724
Warm milk?
1066
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:25,007
He's building
a file on you.
1067
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,686
Okay, it's not my fault that your son
couldn't beat me in an election.
1068
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,842
I'm sure it was tough
growing up...
1069
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,922
wondering which side
you fit into.
1070
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,810
Feeling like you have
to overcompensate, perhaps.
1071
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:42,282
If that's true, Dean,
1072
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,646
I'm not the only one.
1073
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,649
Hey, hey, hey, brother.
1074
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,529
There you are.
1075
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:03,370
That one over there.
1076
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:04,726
And that one over there.
1077
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:08,569
There you are.
1078
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:09,926
Thought we were supposed
to start at 12, right?
1079
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,570
Yeah, I told you I had class.
1080
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:13,290
This is going up
on Gillespie.
1081
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,169
It's good, right?
1082
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,722
Oh, what's this?
1083
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,564
Yo, you ain't
getting cold feet.
1084
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:24,803
No, but...
how long do I have to talk?
1085
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,161
You're kidding me, right?
1086
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:28,685
It's sort of the keynote.
1087
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,486
Look, Reggie, I think that the whole
Malcolm X thing is more your lane.
1088
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:36,484
I'm just not... These
people came here to see you, Sam.
1089
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,251
Grab a bullhorn,
turn it on.
1090
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:57,970
Hi. No, I'm kind of
in the middle...
1091
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:03,440
Okay...
1092
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:10,967
Okay.
1093
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,001
Okay.
1094
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:32,886
I got to...
1095
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:35,640
You ready?
1096
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:46,611
Sam.
1097
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,123
Sam!
1098
01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:53,123
Sam, you have
our protest permits!
1099
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:54,440
Sam.
1100
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:59,761
Sam. Do you want me
to tell him to go?
1101
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:03,208
You're so tough. I will.
1102
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:04,964
No, I want you to wait
until they've gone,
1103
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:06,565
and then I want you
to head home.
1104
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:08,130
I'm trying
to be here for you.
1105
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,884
Can you be
somewhere else for me?
1106
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,167
Sam, we know you're home.
We just want to talk.
1107
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:13,884
What do you see in him?
1108
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,720
The only eligible
single brother on campus.
1109
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:22,762
Okay, okay.
1110
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,922
No, I get it. Your parents owned
in Harlem, or something, right?
1111
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:26,724
You watched Do The Right
Thing in high school,
1112
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:29,007
and now you just want
to prove that you're down.
1113
01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:31,128
I want to be down? How long does it
take to get your hair like that?
1114
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,487
Yo, Sam, open the door.
1115
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:36,291
I will call you
tomorrow, Reggie!
1116
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:37,850
Damn.
1117
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:39,285
You don't understand.
Girls like me...
1118
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,124
What, have to pick a side?
1119
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,123
I'm sick of your tragic
mulatto bullshit, Sam.
1120
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,440
You can't say "mulatto."
1121
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:45,766
Mulatto, mulatto, mulatto!
1122
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,080
Did somebody say "mulatto"?
1123
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:48,764
Window. Go out the window.
1124
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,842
I'm sorry if I can't be
your Nubian prince
1125
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:52,809
on my black horse ready to take
you back to fucking Zumunda.
1126
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:55,247
That's not a real
African country.
1127
01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:57,920
Can I at least get credit for a
solid Coming to America reference?
1128
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:01,205
This isn't you, Sam.
1129
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,521
No? And who am I?
1130
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,967
You're this... girl.
1131
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,849
Perceptive.
1132
01:07:08,960 --> 01:07:11,247
Who likes to argue with me
about every fucking thing.
1133
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,005
And I hate it, because we both
know you're smarter than me.
1134
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:16,128
Your favorite director
is Bergman,
1135
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,282
but you tell people
it's Spike Lee.
1136
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,761
You love bebop, but you've
got a thing for Taylor Swift.
1137
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,968
I know, because my Mac
picks up your Mac's library.
1138
01:07:23,080 --> 01:07:26,323
I was so careful. You like to watch
me when you think I'm sleeping,
1139
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,129
and trace
the outlines of my face.
1140
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:29,645
We're ready to go, man!
1141
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:32,041
You're more Banksy than Barack,
1142
01:07:32,120 --> 01:07:35,090
but you've been co-opted as some sort
of revolutionary leader or something?
1143
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:36,571
But really?
1144
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:38,290
You're an anarchist,
1145
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:41,523
shit starter,
a beautiful filmmaker.
1146
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,409
And beautiful...
1147
01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:44,561
in general.
1148
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:57,011
Yeah.
1149
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:58,605
Yeah?
1150
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:01,966
Yeah?
1151
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,125
Okay, get some sleep.
1152
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,570
Everything all right?
1153
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:16,763
His condition is stable.
1154
01:08:18,480 --> 01:08:20,881
Good.
1155
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,962
That's good, Sam.
1156
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:25,761
Open the door!
1157
01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:28,726
Sam!
1158
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,723
Gabe...
1159
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:32,370
What?
1160
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:40,090
Sorry.
1161
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,881
Your video
is picking up steam.
1162
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:58,480
I told you I was good TV. Hmm.
1163
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,729
Yeah, the show
I'm scouting for
1164
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,325
is called Black Face,
White Place.
1165
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:05,243
It's a reality,
like true life.
1166
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:07,607
Every episode focuses
on a different one of us
1167
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:08,920
and the ceiling.
1168
01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:10,451
Interesting.
1169
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:13,126
Interesting?
1170
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:15,168
You think they want
interesting, dignified stories
1171
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,527
of triumph
and survival? No.
1172
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,046
They want the authentic
urban experience,
1173
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:21,645
which is basically
network talk
1174
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,524
for bitching
and weeping.
1175
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,446
I'm telling you this
because the network wants
1176
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,727
to pick a certain subject
to go to series.
1177
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:34,202
We've got one episode,
one shot at that subject,
1178
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,011
so if we do this...
We do it all the way.
1179
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:40,920
Guessing Sam
turned you down?
1180
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:42,570
I think so.
She called me
1181
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,246
a bojangling oofta,
whatever that means.
1182
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:47,402
40,000 views,
that's good,
1183
01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:49,130
but it's not great.
1184
01:09:49,200 --> 01:09:51,168
Well, I'm about to get
a whole lot more.
1185
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:54,005
Look, we don't have anybody
1186
01:09:54,080 --> 01:09:56,560
like you and you had
a great idea, so we...
1187
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,086
I want to emcee it.
1188
01:09:59,160 --> 01:10:00,321
Your party.
1189
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:04,041
Okay. Okay, well...
1190
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:05,963
Look, we're here to talk to you
about what we want.
1191
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:07,405
You want me.
1192
01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:09,164
And in order to get me,
1193
01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:11,129
you have to let me
emcee your party.
1194
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:14,044
Oh, and I'd also like to do
a live video blog
1195
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:16,521
for my web series. Are they
going to let you do that?
1196
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:18,329
They've got to.
1197
01:10:18,440 --> 01:10:19,965
They need me.
1198
01:10:20,040 --> 01:10:21,849
Without me...
1199
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:24,002
you guys look like a bunch
of privileged assholes.
1200
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:26,560
Right, well, we don't...
we don't really let people
1201
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,529
"video blog" our-our events.
1202
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,602
Well...
1203
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,650
you got a week to put
this thing together, Boo-boo.
1204
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,491
So what's it going to be?
1205
01:10:37,560 --> 01:10:39,483
You look surprised.
1206
01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:45,964
It's just not everyone is
as camera ready as you are.
1207
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,520
Get your game
on for only $3.99 a month.
1208
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:51,929
The important thing is
1209
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:54,002
if your invite is the
one that is picked
1210
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:56,845
to be sent out, then you are
guaranteed a spot on our staff.
1211
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,201
...for a low, low price.
1212
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,489
The sci-fi
marathon continues right now.
1213
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,122
Just over nine
minutes to go in this quarter.
1214
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,043
They need to score
on this drive.
1215
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:22,611
Looking for the blitz,
but he...
1216
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,162
Troy, come on in.
1217
01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:43,641
Martin, share with Troy what
you've just shared with me.
1218
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:49,009
The server that processes the
voting results for house elections
1219
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,048
has shut down
the AP database.
1220
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:52,844
Apparently, the
intermediary program
1221
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,649
is on a refractile loop.
1222
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:57,326
I'm a Poli-Sci major, man.
1223
01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:00,609
Sam currently has
445 votes.
1224
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:05,129
That's 200 more than she had last
week during the actual election.
1225
01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:06,486
She cheated.
1226
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,369
She hacked the system.
1227
01:12:08,440 --> 01:12:10,886
I wouldn't even know how
to do a thing like that.
1228
01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:14,089
Is this little war of yours
really so important?
1229
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:17,209
Look, I understand the pressure to stand
for something in an institution like this,
1230
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:19,931
but you're barking up
the wrong tree. Okay?
1231
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,604
It had to have been Reggie.
1232
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,250
Guy's in my programming class.
1233
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:27,086
Good, just forgot
to turn his program off.
1234
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:29,401
Wow.
1235
01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:31,403
You are the
rightful head of house.
1236
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:35,444
So great.
1237
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:38,603
Martin, let me speak
to Troy for a bit.
1238
01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:41,445
I appreciate this.
1239
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:44,410
Your advisor tells me that you're
hanging on by a thread in your major.
1240
01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:48,883
Maybe it's time
for you to reprioritize.
1241
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,167
You're trying
to frighten me,
1242
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,369
but I think you're
the one who's scared.
1243
01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:57,649
And I think
that you long for days
1244
01:12:57,720 --> 01:13:01,008
when blacks were hanging from
trees and denied actual rights.
1245
01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:04,687
That way you would have something
to actually fight against.
1246
01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:06,762
You'll be facing two hearings
in the coming weeks
1247
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:09,127
that could end in either
a suspension or probation.
1248
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,124
One on the merit
of your show...
1249
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:16,211
the other on your election
to head of house.
1250
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,886
Your responsibilities
to your house are suspended.
1251
01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:21,088
Your show is dead.
1252
01:13:21,160 --> 01:13:24,004
And if there is another one
of your illegal demonstrations
1253
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:26,401
it's going to get
a lot worse.
1254
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,289
This is a critical time
for this school.
1255
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:31,330
You're damn right it is.
1256
01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:33,562
We don't have
an intolerance problem here.
1257
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:36,809
Except for the one
I'm looking at.
1258
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:44,004
You didn't tell me that you and
Sophia had a misunderstanding.
1259
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:46,807
Who did?
1260
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:49,167
Her father.
1261
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:50,446
She was very upset.
1262
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:56,090
What vision do you have
for yourself, Troy?
1263
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:57,611
Get my degree
1264
01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:58,886
then law school, then...
1265
01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:00,291
And what has that got to do
1266
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:01,771
with partying with Kurt,
1267
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:03,888
smoking weed,
and writing jokes?
1268
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:05,525
So okay, what is it?
1269
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:08,524
The spotlight
that Kurt gets?
1270
01:14:08,600 --> 01:14:10,250
You want to see yourself
on TV?
1271
01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:12,800
You know how many black men
waste their lives
1272
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:15,451
trying to be on TV,
be rappers or ballplayers?
1273
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:18,490
Dad, no. I want what
we always talk about.
1274
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:20,483
Maybe have
my own firm someday,
1275
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:21,726
run for office.
1276
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:23,928
Make a difference.
1277
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:26,321
What about the drugs?
1278
01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:28,681
I have been in academia
a long time.
1279
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,285
I've seen a lot of things.
1280
01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:34,242
And the men
who really run this world,
1281
01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,209
oh...
1282
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:40,001
you've got no idea what
they see when they see you.
1283
01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:43,249
You are not going to be
what they all think you are.
1284
01:14:43,320 --> 01:14:46,847
You are not going to give them
that satisfaction.
1285
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,123
Do you hear me?
1286
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:51,326
Yes, sir.
1287
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:57,404
Get out of my sight.
1288
01:15:18,640 --> 01:15:19,971
President's office.
1289
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:21,565
I'll be right there.
1290
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:36,520
I know about the party.
1291
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:38,085
What Party?
1292
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,049
Yeah, cute.
1293
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:42,407
Let me tell you something.
You picked a hell of a time.
1294
01:15:42,480 --> 01:15:44,881
It's the Halloween party. I want
you to listen to something.
1295
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:47,122
It's canceled, Kurt.
End of story.
1296
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:49,320
I can't cancel. There's
like 100 people coming.
1297
01:15:50,440 --> 01:15:51,726
Hey.
1298
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:59,046
Lionel's story
on the would be protest
1299
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:01,168
outside Gillespie
is running tomorrow.
1300
01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:03,402
Yeah, and I've also got Lionel
working on a profile piece
1301
01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:05,448
of Armstrong-Parker,
like you suggested.
1302
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:07,409
Really break down
what's going on.
1303
01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:10,730
Right?
1304
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:13,041
It's almost like they...
1305
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,043
recycle so much
from their past.
1306
01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:17,600
Music, food, fashion,
1307
01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:21,082
and now turbulence.
1308
01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:23,049
Thank you so much.
1309
01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:25,248
Take care.
1310
01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:28,011
Well? That was our
Times advisor.
1311
01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:29,730
He said it's stories
like these
1312
01:16:29,800 --> 01:16:31,882
that get editors
letters of recommendation.
1313
01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:36,681
Negro at the door
didn't scare you this time?
1314
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,171
Lionel, please.
1315
01:16:38,280 --> 01:16:39,964
You're only
technically black.
1316
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:43,010
G? Going to French.
1317
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:46,607
- Should I save you a seat?
- Yeah, thanks.
1318
01:16:48,640 --> 01:16:50,722
You need something?
I saw your email.
1319
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,564
Oh, yeah.
1320
01:16:52,640 --> 01:16:56,122
I need someone to do
the donors event on Saturday.
1321
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,043
A small dinner
for the school's big givers.
1322
01:16:58,120 --> 01:17:00,009
That's Halloween night.
1323
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:03,163
Right, which is why
no one else will take it.
1324
01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:05,846
Ah, thus the new guy.
1325
01:17:05,920 --> 01:17:07,888
I'm going to class, but...
1326
01:17:07,960 --> 01:17:10,042
you can stay and check out
last year's piece if you want.
1327
01:17:10,120 --> 01:17:12,487
You'll do fine.
I don't know.
1328
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:15,166
Is there going to be any racially
fueled outbursts at this thing?
1329
01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:16,526
You never know, right?
1330
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:24,685
Hey, am I a good writer?
1331
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:28,929
You'll get better.
1332
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,606
And we need you right now.
1333
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:34,684
Please, you're just
one big recommendation
1334
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:35,966
away from the Times.
1335
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:37,485
Hey...
1336
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:57,970
There's a big party
after the donors event.
1337
01:17:58,040 --> 01:18:01,362
Call me after.
Maybe we can hang?
1338
01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:03,522
Yeah, yeah,
sounds good.
1339
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,248
Dear white people,
1340
01:18:22,320 --> 01:18:24,448
Are you tired of your humdrum
Wonder Bread existence
1341
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:27,285
of accidental racism,
and wishing you could sip
1342
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:29,328
on henny
out your crunk cup
1343
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:31,323
without a bitch
giving you the side eye?
1344
01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:33,562
Of course you are.
1345
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,564
For all those looking
to unleash their inner negro
1346
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:38,927
from years of bondage
and oppression
1347
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:41,128
Pastiche proudly presents
1348
01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:42,929
Dear White People,
1349
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:45,765
our 89th annual Hallows Eve
costume party
1350
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:47,330
tonight at 10 Pacific time
1351
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:50,210
or five colored people time.
1352
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:53,124
Dudes must rock Fubu, Ecko,
1353
01:18:53,200 --> 01:18:55,202
Rocawear, or Sean John.
1354
01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:57,567
XXXL is
the smallest sized T-shirt
1355
01:18:57,640 --> 01:18:59,369
you can wear,
1356
01:18:59,440 --> 01:19:01,044
preferably with a collage
of Barack Obama
1357
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:02,929
and Tupac on it.
1358
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:06,049
Ladies, we need to see
huge hoop earrings,
1359
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,805
long nails,
and cheap, tight clothes.
1360
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:11,326
Proper hood rat starts fights,
speaks loudly,
1361
01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:13,846
and when she can't think of
the words she's trying to say,
1362
01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:17,208
just makes one up,
such as "edjmucated."
1363
01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:19,965
Now feel free
to fry on up some chicken,
1364
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,883
bring some Kool-Aid,
watermelon,
1365
01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,850
forties, and of course,
that purple drank.
1366
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,321
Naturally, there will be
a freestyle rap competition,
1367
01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:32,167
so bring if and join us for
the party of the year.
1368
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:34,163
Oh, and uh...
1369
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:37,130
Nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga
nigga, nigga.
1370
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,043
Boy, that felt good.
1371
01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:09,884
Funny seeing you here.
1372
01:20:13,040 --> 01:20:15,805
Pops likes to show me off
at all these donor functions.
1373
01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:21,525
So...
1374
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:24,286
Picard or Kirk?
1375
01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:25,600
Kirk. Wait.
1376
01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:27,330
I didn't say...
Yo.
1377
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:29,289
What happens at the crib
stays at the crib.
1378
01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,328
I'm not trying to get
my card revoked.
1379
01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:33,289
Someone could say
that a show that had
1380
01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:37,570
Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Dorn,
and Kunta Kinte himself
1381
01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,290
was a pretty black show.
1382
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:43,160
That work out for you?
No, no, it did not.
1383
01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:46,687
At least not in high school.
1384
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:49,411
Bet there's, like, a statue
of you in your high school.
1385
01:20:49,480 --> 01:20:52,006
I was beloved.
1386
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,651
They know you were
a Trekker?
1387
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:03,290
So what, you growing
that out?
1388
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:05,044
I think it's
gaining sentience.
1389
01:21:06,640 --> 01:21:08,529
Yeah, it's out there.
1390
01:21:08,600 --> 01:21:10,807
Yeah, it's like a black hole
for white people's fingers.
1391
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:14,123
They're... obsessed.
1392
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,931
I mean, you know
I cut hair, though.
1393
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:18,445
So why don't you
just ask me?
1394
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:23,482
I don't know.
You're... you.
1395
01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:26,166
Ly, you ready, man?
1396
01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:28,641
Yeah. No costumes?
1397
01:21:28,720 --> 01:21:30,609
I got a suit
for this.
1398
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:32,045
We just got out
of the staff room.
1399
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,009
Yeah, we're going
as overworked.
1400
01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:37,602
Where is it?
Garmin House,
on Third, I think.
1401
01:21:38,680 --> 01:21:40,250
Third and Basin.
1402
01:21:42,080 --> 01:21:43,080
I know it.
1403
01:21:45,800 --> 01:21:48,531
Yo, man.
1404
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:51,570
If I'd have gone
to your high school...
1405
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:52,801
I'd have had your back.
1406
01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:51,362
This is kind
of fucked up, right?
1407
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:54,444
Pastiche, the world's
most erudite boneheads.
1408
01:22:54,520 --> 01:22:55,760
I need another drink.
1409
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,166
Hey.
1410
01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:13,930
Sorry.
1411
01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:18,082
It's all right. I just can't
wait to cut all of this off.
1412
01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:19,160
Don't you dare.
1413
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:26,524
I could eat you
like a Hershey's.
1414
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,969
I'll... I'll be
right back.
1415
01:23:35,360 --> 01:23:36,566
Okay.
1416
01:24:02,920 --> 01:24:04,046
Sam.
1417
01:24:05,480 --> 01:24:06,811
I hope to run
for office someday.
1418
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:08,484
Make a difference,
you know?
1419
01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:10,369
If you guys will
excuse me for one moment.
1420
01:24:10,480 --> 01:24:11,925
I promise I'll be
right back.
1421
01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,161
Hold that thought.
1422
01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:29,121
So what do
you want me to do?
1423
01:24:29,200 --> 01:24:33,205
Go over and yell at them?
Have you heard you yelling?
1424
01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:35,886
For the first time in my life,
I can't just sit around
1425
01:24:35,960 --> 01:24:37,246
and do nothing.
1426
01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:39,891
So... how can you?
1427
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:42,247
I'm done being everybody's
angry black chick.
1428
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:18,725
Hey, muffins.
1429
01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:21,320
So how do I look?
1430
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:23,209
Tell me...
1431
01:25:23,280 --> 01:25:25,487
why are white folks
so obsessed with being black?
1432
01:25:27,880 --> 01:25:32,329
Hell, why are black folks addicted
to blonde Barbie doll weaves?
1433
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:35,483
The strange symbiosis
that we're here to investigate.
1434
01:25:50,280 --> 01:25:52,248
Hi.
1435
01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:54,527
How's it going?
1436
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:55,681
All right.
1437
01:25:55,760 --> 01:25:57,489
This is-
1438
01:25:57,560 --> 01:25:59,164
Black Student Union.
Black Student Union, yeah.
1439
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:01,971
Yeah.
'Cause it's 7:30.
1440
01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:04,964
It's your call, man.
1441
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:07,930
All right,
all right...
1442
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,685
All right, y'all.
Thanks for coming out.
1443
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:14,321
Tonight, looks like Sam
is not going to make it,
1444
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:16,687
so let's call it.
1445
01:26:27,280 --> 01:26:28,930
Um, hi.
1446
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,368
I'm Lionel.
1447
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:35,523
I know some of you.
1448
01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:37,409
None of you know me.
1449
01:26:37,480 --> 01:26:39,767
I've never been to a meeting.
I plan on coming.
1450
01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:47,689
I just came
from this party,
1451
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:49,649
and I feel like you guys
should know about it.
1452
01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:01,564
Hey, Kurt.
What's up, man?
1453
01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:03,130
How you doing?
What the fuck is going on?
1454
01:27:03,200 --> 01:27:04,725
All these people
just showed up, man.
1455
01:27:10,120 --> 01:27:11,770
Wait, who am I?
1456
01:27:11,840 --> 01:27:16,402
"Bitch, it's weave, noun,
present tense, how."
1457
01:27:16,480 --> 01:27:18,130
Okay,
point taken.
1458
01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:29,248
Hey, man, you want a drink?
Shut up.
1459
01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:33,962
Yeah.
Kurt, it's me.
1460
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:35,246
I can't do this.
1461
01:27:35,320 --> 01:27:37,687
Okay, I'm fucking confused.
1462
01:27:37,800 --> 01:27:40,929
Dad.
Not now, Troy.
1463
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:42,650
But Dad,
it's important.
1464
01:27:42,720 --> 01:27:44,722
I heard there's something
happening on campus
1465
01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:46,640
and I might have been a part
of setting it off.
1466
01:27:46,680 --> 01:27:48,011
Son, you're being rude.
1467
01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:51,289
Oh, am I?
1468
01:27:51,360 --> 01:27:53,601
Well, how about I tell
all your precious donors
1469
01:27:53,680 --> 01:27:56,081
and anybody who will listen what kind
of school it is they're giving to!
1470
01:27:56,160 --> 01:27:57,764
What is wrong with you?
1471
01:27:57,840 --> 01:27:59,604
How dare you?
1472
01:27:59,680 --> 01:28:01,409
You can't come over here
and talk to your father...
1473
01:28:01,480 --> 01:28:03,960
All I say is "Yes, sir"
and "No, sir."
1474
01:28:04,040 --> 01:28:06,771
Now look, I should have brought this to you
earlier, but I didn't know what to do.
1475
01:28:06,840 --> 01:28:10,287
Okay, let's wait.
Listen to me!
1476
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:11,521
Done right, brother.
1477
01:28:11,640 --> 01:28:14,246
What's the plan?
1478
01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,243
We go over there.
1479
01:28:16,320 --> 01:28:17,890
Now.
1480
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,724
Think there's
enough of us?
1481
01:28:19,800 --> 01:28:22,041
Latinos United
is meeting across the hall.
1482
01:28:22,120 --> 01:28:23,565
Asian-American League, too.
1483
01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:28,008
You guys got better snacks.
1484
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:50,165
Wait, what?
1485
01:28:50,240 --> 01:28:52,811
Yeah, dude,
we all got it.
1486
01:28:52,880 --> 01:28:54,928
I mean, everything
is cool, right?
1487
01:29:03,320 --> 01:29:04,810
Take that shit off!
1488
01:29:04,880 --> 01:29:07,167
Take that fucking shit off.
1489
01:29:10,640 --> 01:29:13,564
Wait, what the fuck
are you doing, man?
1490
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:15,847
Jesus!
1491
01:29:15,920 --> 01:29:17,922
We're putting an end
to this, Kurt.
1492
01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:20,480
You know what? Everybody get
the fuck out of my house.
1493
01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:22,767
Okay?
I'm calling the cops.
1494
01:29:50,520 --> 01:29:52,170
Let's make it do
what it do!
1495
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:56,800
One, two, one, two, three.
1496
01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,326
Yo, give me your wife
before I slap ya.
1497
01:29:59,400 --> 01:30:00,970
I've been looking
for some dames,
1498
01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:02,764
but there's not
another chapter.
1499
01:30:02,840 --> 01:30:05,002
You can do me slow,
you can do me fast.
1500
01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:07,606
You can add it to my league.
I'm the royalty to ask for.
1501
01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:10,570
One, two, wa-wa-wa-one.
1502
01:30:12,320 --> 01:30:14,004
I say hey!
1503
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:15,411
Hey!
1504
01:30:15,480 --> 01:30:17,562
- Ho!
- Ho!
1505
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,091
My name is Lionel.
1506
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,685
Some call me Ly.
1507
01:30:20,760 --> 01:30:22,728
Most people think
I kind of talk quiet.
1508
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,167
But that's all right,
that's all cool.
1509
01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:28,084
I'd rather be white
than tap dance with you.
1510
01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:47,684
Get the fuck
out of my house.
1511
01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:49,569
What you doing?
Get the fuck out of here!
1512
01:31:15,040 --> 01:31:16,326
What?
1513
01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:18,811
Say it.
1514
01:31:18,880 --> 01:31:19,927
Come on.
1515
01:31:21,640 --> 01:31:24,291
You know, this may come
as a shock to you,
1516
01:31:24,360 --> 01:31:27,842
but these people don't give a fuck
about no Harriet motherfucking Tubman.
1517
01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:29,724
They pay millions of dollars
1518
01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:31,689
on their lips, their tans,
1519
01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:34,206
their asses, Jay-Z tickets,
1520
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,282
because they want
to be like us.
1521
01:31:36,360 --> 01:31:39,489
And they got to be
for a night.
1522
01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,324
I'm not about to go out
into the streets
1523
01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:44,210
and protest a fucking
Halloween party.
1524
01:32:01,360 --> 01:32:02,885
He can't help it.
1525
01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:05,850
But why do you have
to be such a fag?
1526
01:32:32,680 --> 01:32:34,921
Looks like you got me
right where you want me, huh?
1527
01:34:02,000 --> 01:34:03,729
Hey...
1528
01:34:06,760 --> 01:34:10,003
I didn't do this, Sam.
I didn't do this.
1529
01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:12,407
Outrage over an African-
American themed party
1530
01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:14,767
has resulted in rioting
and property damages.
1531
01:34:14,840 --> 01:34:17,764
Naturally, a dozen
colored folks crashing a party
1532
01:34:17,880 --> 01:34:20,042
was dubbed a riot,
but nevertheless,
1533
01:34:20,120 --> 01:34:21,645
the story made national news.
1534
01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:23,802
I'm sorry.
1535
01:34:23,880 --> 01:34:26,087
We don't condone this
egregious event, believe me.
1536
01:34:26,160 --> 01:34:28,322
Dean Fairbanks and I are
looking into different ways
1537
01:34:28,400 --> 01:34:30,482
to address issues
of diversity...
1538
01:34:30,600 --> 01:34:34,286
- Housing reform!
- Yeah!
1539
01:34:34,360 --> 01:34:36,169
Housing reform.
1540
01:34:36,240 --> 01:34:37,969
I mean, the fact that
we can joke about this
1541
01:34:38,040 --> 01:34:40,088
proves we moved on,
obviously, right?
1542
01:34:40,160 --> 01:34:42,561
I mean, in this day and age,
if you can't take a joke...
1543
01:34:42,640 --> 01:34:45,962
Shit, I'm just saying this is an
attack on my freedom of speech.
1544
01:34:46,040 --> 01:34:47,530
I'm the victim here!
1545
01:34:47,600 --> 01:34:49,728
The campus was divided.
1546
01:34:49,800 --> 01:34:52,610
Was the party an act of free
speech, or was it racism?
1547
01:34:52,680 --> 01:34:55,570
I mean, this is only a debate
because of who Kurt's dad is,
1548
01:34:55,640 --> 01:34:58,166
which just proves the point.
1549
01:34:58,240 --> 01:35:00,971
I mean, all you did was have a radio
show and look what happened to you.
1550
01:35:01,040 --> 01:35:02,883
This may come
as a shock to you,
1551
01:35:02,960 --> 01:35:04,610
but these people
don't give a fuck
1552
01:35:04,680 --> 01:35:07,206
about no Harriet
motherfucking Tubman.
1553
01:35:07,280 --> 01:35:09,362
They want to be like us.
1554
01:35:09,440 --> 01:35:11,329
And they got to be
for a night.
1555
01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:13,004
Of course I got
my dad involved.
1556
01:35:13,080 --> 01:35:14,969
It was the right thing to do.
1557
01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:17,805
And now all of these posters
just started showing up.
1558
01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:19,848
I mean, why settle
for head of house
1559
01:35:19,920 --> 01:35:22,366
when there's a need for me
as president, you know?
1560
01:35:22,440 --> 01:35:24,204
Dear white people,
1561
01:35:29,640 --> 01:35:31,005
You know what?
1562
01:35:33,520 --> 01:35:35,170
Never mind.
1563
01:36:00,560 --> 01:36:02,289
When I heard what
the group was planning,
1564
01:36:02,400 --> 01:36:04,402
I emailed my staff
and I told them to quit.
1565
01:36:04,480 --> 01:36:06,562
That is a copy of the
email in front of you.
1566
01:36:06,640 --> 01:36:07,641
And who's this?
1567
01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:12,008
My lawyer.
1568
01:36:12,120 --> 01:36:15,920
So when I got the invite and
saw everyone clicking yes,
1569
01:36:16,040 --> 01:36:17,485
I figured it was back on.
1570
01:36:17,560 --> 01:36:18,760
We know you
were planning this.
1571
01:36:18,800 --> 01:36:20,643
Your son tell you that?
1572
01:36:20,720 --> 01:36:22,688
"Wishing you could sip on
henny out your crunk cup
1573
01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:24,728
"without a bitch
giving you the side eye."
1574
01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:26,604
You write this, Troy?
1575
01:36:26,680 --> 01:36:28,808
No.
1576
01:36:28,880 --> 01:36:31,167
Mine wasn't chosen.
But you wanted to be.
1577
01:36:31,240 --> 01:36:33,527
What I wanted didn't matter then,
so why should it matter now?
1578
01:36:33,640 --> 01:36:35,961
I'm the one who got you
to send the police, remember?
1579
01:36:36,040 --> 01:36:39,169
The invite came from the
Pastiche Facebook account.
1580
01:36:39,240 --> 01:36:41,242
I canceled the party!
1581
01:36:41,320 --> 01:36:43,800
You got to believe me.
1582
01:36:43,880 --> 01:36:46,360
What were your intentions when
you went back the second time?
1583
01:36:46,440 --> 01:36:48,169
To stop it.
1584
01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:49,850
By any means necessary?
1585
01:36:51,440 --> 01:36:52,930
Someone once told me that
1586
01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:55,287
Winchester was like jazz.
1587
01:36:55,360 --> 01:36:56,771
Now I don't know much
about jazz,
1588
01:36:56,840 --> 01:36:58,729
but from what I can tell,
1589
01:36:58,800 --> 01:37:01,849
when your solo is up,
1590
01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:03,962
you better blow.
1591
01:37:04,040 --> 01:37:06,611
You want to hear
something strange?
1592
01:37:06,680 --> 01:37:09,047
The Pastiche group page
hadn't been used for months
1593
01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:10,406
until the invite went out.
1594
01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:12,005
Why am I even here?
1595
01:37:12,080 --> 01:37:13,520
What's interesting
is how easy it was
1596
01:37:13,560 --> 01:37:15,608
to access the group page.
1597
01:37:15,680 --> 01:37:19,002
The password was "pastiche"
spelled with a dollar sign
1598
01:37:19,080 --> 01:37:20,844
according to Kurt,
1599
01:37:20,920 --> 01:37:23,002
but it seems
it's recently been changed.
1600
01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:25,082
I couldn't
figure it out at first.
1601
01:37:25,160 --> 01:37:27,049
Then I thought
to try something.
1602
01:37:27,120 --> 01:37:33,127
578-35-26-196.
1603
01:37:33,240 --> 01:37:35,846
Eleven numbers.
1604
01:37:35,920 --> 01:37:37,684
Just like
our student l.D. numbers.
1605
01:37:40,520 --> 01:37:43,763
Just like
your student l.D. number.
1606
01:37:46,480 --> 01:37:48,847
As much as you hate him,
you will stop at nothing
1607
01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:51,400
to protect your master
and his boy.
1608
01:37:51,480 --> 01:37:53,847
Did you send out
the invite, Sam?
1609
01:37:57,240 --> 01:38:00,369
lt wasn't speeches thet
turned the tide for civil rights.
1610
01:38:00,440 --> 01:38:04,331
It was the anarchists willing to provoke
the police, get sprayed by hoses,
1611
01:38:04,440 --> 01:38:06,886
anything to cause a scene
and make press.
1612
01:38:06,960 --> 01:38:09,804
That invite,
whoever sent it,
1613
01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:12,042
should have been met
with derision and outrage.
1614
01:38:12,120 --> 01:38:14,327
Instead, 100 people,
your students,
1615
01:38:14,400 --> 01:38:16,482
showed up,
and they pulled out posters
1616
01:38:16,560 --> 01:38:18,050
and decorations and costumes
1617
01:38:18,160 --> 01:38:19,650
that they had made
for such an event,
1618
01:38:19,720 --> 01:38:21,085
and they showed our school
1619
01:38:21,160 --> 01:38:23,401
exactly where it's at.
1620
01:39:06,640 --> 01:39:09,723
Well, you've made
some new friends.
1621
01:39:09,800 --> 01:39:11,564
I guess you
could call them that.
1622
01:39:13,440 --> 01:39:15,602
So...
No, not right now.
1623
01:39:15,720 --> 01:39:16,721
Not here.
1624
01:39:21,360 --> 01:39:23,806
Fine.
Oh, come on, Coco.
1625
01:39:24,840 --> 01:39:26,604
Fuck you, Troy.
1626
01:39:26,680 --> 01:39:28,364
Look, my dad saw your videos,
1627
01:39:28,480 --> 01:39:29,891
and he's just
a little worried...
1628
01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:32,088
How it will look?
1629
01:39:32,160 --> 01:39:33,889
With your campaign and all?
1630
01:39:40,920 --> 01:39:43,321
What's your best friend
Reggie think?
1631
01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:50,684
Hey... we had fun.
1632
01:39:50,760 --> 01:39:52,569
All right?
1633
01:39:58,320 --> 01:40:02,803
You know, I get that everybody
else wants you to win, Troy.
1634
01:40:02,880 --> 01:40:04,245
But do you?
1635
01:40:23,160 --> 01:40:24,844
Hello, Sam.
1636
01:40:27,200 --> 01:40:29,521
I read about
Armstrong-Parker.
1637
01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:32,206
Yeah, Pres. made
an executive withdrawal,
1638
01:40:32,280 --> 01:40:34,601
so Armstrong stays black.
1639
01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:36,728
Congrats.
1640
01:40:36,840 --> 01:40:39,730
I don't know. It's getting a
little too dramatic, man.
1641
01:40:39,800 --> 01:40:43,725
I'm thinking about getting
an apartment off campus.
1642
01:40:43,800 --> 01:40:45,484
So we'll see.
1643
01:40:45,600 --> 01:40:48,524
Sam White going against the grain?
Shocking.
1644
01:40:48,600 --> 01:40:52,047
How's Papa White?
1645
01:40:52,120 --> 01:40:53,884
Recovering.
Good.
1646
01:40:58,520 --> 01:41:02,241
Well... We were actually
on the phone last night
1647
01:41:02,320 --> 01:41:04,004
for hours.
1648
01:41:04,120 --> 01:41:07,602
It was the first time
we talked since the bypass.
1649
01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:10,126
And he was putting up
a strong front,
1650
01:41:10,200 --> 01:41:12,328
teasing me about being
so worried.
1651
01:41:12,400 --> 01:41:15,722
And then came the stories
about me as a little girl
1652
01:41:15,840 --> 01:41:18,081
that I'd heard 1,000 times.
1653
01:41:18,160 --> 01:41:21,926
About how...
1654
01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:27,045
independent I was.
1655
01:41:29,400 --> 01:41:30,731
Want to talk about it?
1656
01:41:33,720 --> 01:41:35,324
My mom worked nights,
1657
01:41:35,440 --> 01:41:40,890
so he'd always
take me to school, and...
1658
01:41:40,960 --> 01:41:42,724
it used to piss me off
1659
01:41:42,800 --> 01:41:45,883
because he'd follow me
all the way to homeroom.
1660
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,530
And whenever he'd try
to hold my hand,
1661
01:41:47,600 --> 01:41:51,685
I'd scream and...
pull it away.
1662
01:41:51,760 --> 01:41:55,128
The students
and the parents
1663
01:41:55,200 --> 01:41:57,965
they'd see this white man
1664
01:41:58,040 --> 01:42:00,850
and this black girl
1665
01:42:00,920 --> 01:42:03,002
and they'd wonder
what we were doing together.
1666
01:42:03,080 --> 01:42:07,449
Even at nine, I could feel
their eyes on me.
1667
01:42:07,520 --> 01:42:09,443
And I was just
a bratty girl.
1668
01:42:09,560 --> 01:42:13,167
I didn't know any better,
but the thought of losing him...
1669
01:42:14,680 --> 01:42:16,808
You know?
1670
01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:19,531
I, um...
1671
01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:22,968
I just feel so bad.
1672
01:42:26,760 --> 01:42:31,243
How awful am I
to do that to...
1673
01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:35,120
him, or to anyone...
1674
01:42:36,720 --> 01:42:38,165
that I...
1675
01:42:40,240 --> 01:42:42,004
love.
1676
01:42:47,480 --> 01:42:50,006
I'm sure he forgives you.
1677
01:42:52,080 --> 01:42:53,445
You think so?
1678
01:42:59,640 --> 01:43:03,326
So anyway, I don't know...
1679
01:43:03,400 --> 01:43:06,006
why I said all that.
1680
01:43:07,920 --> 01:43:09,570
Sam, where are you going?
1681
01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:14,725
I don't know.
1682
01:43:16,680 --> 01:43:18,808
Lunch.
1683
01:43:18,920 --> 01:43:21,366
Isn't it Mac N' Cheese day
at Armstrong-Parker?
1684
01:43:24,760 --> 01:43:26,524
You think
they'll let you in?
1685
01:43:52,880 --> 01:43:54,644
Let me get this straight.
1686
01:43:54,720 --> 01:43:56,609
First you try to break up
the black house.
1687
01:43:56,680 --> 01:43:58,762
Then you take down the sister
with the little radio show.
1688
01:43:58,840 --> 01:44:00,729
Then after all of that,
1689
01:44:00,800 --> 01:44:02,928
your son throws a blackface party.
Now wait a minute.
1690
01:44:03,000 --> 01:44:05,367
Now if you thought you were having
trouble finding money before,
1691
01:44:05,440 --> 01:44:07,761
just wait until cable news
gets their hands on this story.
1692
01:44:07,840 --> 01:44:10,002
I mean, Bill Maher
is going to fuck you up.
1693
01:44:10,080 --> 01:44:11,081
You know,
I've heard enough.
1694
01:44:11,160 --> 01:44:12,810
I'm sorry.
1695
01:44:12,880 --> 01:44:16,043
Look, the point is
from where I'm sitting,
1696
01:44:16,120 --> 01:44:18,361
this place is a gold mine.
What?
1697
01:44:18,480 --> 01:44:20,721
We still need the stuff
that leads up to the party.
1698
01:44:20,800 --> 01:44:22,131
That happened already.
1699
01:44:22,200 --> 01:44:23,201
Well yeah, we can
re-enact it.
1700
01:44:23,280 --> 01:44:24,691
Re-enact.
1701
01:44:24,760 --> 01:44:26,842
It's a documentary term.
I...
1702
01:44:26,920 --> 01:44:29,446
The point is, I could be putting
together an overall deal today.
1703
01:44:29,520 --> 01:44:32,046
I am talking real money.
1704
01:44:32,160 --> 01:44:34,561
Turns out the only thing Americans
love in their reality TV
1705
01:44:34,640 --> 01:44:37,371
more than ignorant black kids
is crazy racist white folks.
1706
01:44:37,440 --> 01:44:38,851
Now look here.
1707
01:44:38,920 --> 01:44:41,287
This is an honorable
institution.
1708
01:44:41,360 --> 01:44:44,330
The idea that we would
so much as entertain...
1709
01:44:46,160 --> 01:44:47,446
How much we talking?
128398
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