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1
00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:03,101
Hey, do you have any of that, um,
2
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:04,369
poisonous deodorant in your bag?
3
00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:05,670
I do, but if you're
just gonna throw it away,
4
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,172
I'll give you the cheap stuff.
5
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,773
I stayed at Tanzy's last night,
6
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:11,042
and I don't have time to go
home and shower before work.
7
00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:12,344
Wait, wait, wait.
8
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:13,612
Are we on the walk of shame right now?
9
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:14,713
You know what? We are.
10
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:16,214
Don't get excited. It's casual.
11
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:17,782
You guys, will you wait for me?
12
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:19,784
I have a pebble in my shoe.
13
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,586
Oh, my God!
14
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:23,355
- Calm down. What's happening?
- Wow.
15
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,657
Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
16
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:26,958
I just got flashed!
17
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,293
- What, really?
- Is this your first one?
18
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:31,463
That man in the tan trench...
19
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,064
he just showed me his ding-a-ling.
20
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:34,299
Oh. What is he working with?
21
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,734
I don't know! I didn't look at it.
22
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:36,968
I think he might be European.
23
00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,637
- Oh.
- Oh. Okay.
24
00:00:43,763 --> 00:00:46,965
I mean, I just assumed that
Brian would want me to plan it.
25
00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:48,666
It's Lila's first birthday
without her mother.
26
00:00:48,668 --> 00:00:50,401
Plus, I have that
relationship with Party City.
27
00:00:50,403 --> 00:00:52,003
Well, maybe he doesn't want a lecture
28
00:00:52,005 --> 00:00:55,006
on how pinatas are
culturally insensitive.
29
00:00:55,008 --> 00:00:57,408
I mean, it's just papier-m�ch�
with candy up the butt.
30
00:00:57,410 --> 00:00:59,110
Yeah, well, to you it is.
31
00:00:59,112 --> 00:01:02,013
Are my birthday parties bad?
32
00:01:02,015 --> 00:01:03,615
There's too much cheese.
33
00:01:03,617 --> 00:01:05,817
I would never serve cheese. It sweats.
34
00:01:05,819 --> 00:01:07,685
No, not you. Jodie. Um, um, Donna.
35
00:01:07,687 --> 00:01:09,053
Things are blowing up here.
36
00:01:09,055 --> 00:01:11,189
Okay, and do you think
that this flan looks like
37
00:01:11,191 --> 00:01:12,757
it's ready to just go close the show?
38
00:01:12,759 --> 00:01:15,026
I-I'm not in charge of dyeing
the fake food to perfection.
39
00:01:15,028 --> 00:01:16,561
That's above my pay grade.
40
00:01:16,563 --> 00:01:18,296
You know, maybe I'm being
too sensitive about the party.
41
00:01:18,298 --> 00:01:19,530
Here we go.
42
00:01:19,532 --> 00:01:21,733
Honey caramel hair spray. Have at it.
43
00:01:21,735 --> 00:01:23,067
I think it's just because I'm in a mood
44
00:01:23,069 --> 00:01:24,502
because I gained four
pounds since last week.
45
00:01:24,504 --> 00:01:26,304
- No, you're gorgeous.
- Oh!
46
00:01:26,306 --> 00:01:27,639
I was so close to my goal weight.
47
00:01:27,641 --> 00:01:29,240
I had thigh gap and everything.
48
00:01:29,242 --> 00:01:30,708
That's too much. You're gorgeous.
49
00:01:30,710 --> 00:01:32,977
And now my affair with
Matt is put off till TBD.
50
00:01:32,979 --> 00:01:34,679
I can't even fit into the leggings
51
00:01:34,681 --> 00:01:36,080
I want him to rip off of
me and throw across the room
52
00:01:36,082 --> 00:01:37,482
in reckless abandon.
53
00:01:37,484 --> 00:01:40,151
Um, what are you getting
Lila for her birthday?
54
00:01:40,153 --> 00:01:41,486
Can I piggyback on your gift?
55
00:01:41,488 --> 00:01:43,221
Oh, yeah, sure. No,
I got her this great,
56
00:01:43,223 --> 00:01:44,355
fun, educational...
57
00:01:44,357 --> 00:01:45,657
Oh, my God, no. Stop, stop.
58
00:01:45,659 --> 00:01:46,958
I want her to like me. Never mind.
59
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,593
Ugh! I've gotta go.
60
00:01:48,595 --> 00:01:50,595
I wrote "thigh gap" on my calendar.
61
00:01:50,597 --> 00:01:53,831
Listen, I know that you
know, but I just have to say,
62
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:55,600
please don't tell anybody
about this thing with Matt,
63
00:01:55,602 --> 00:01:56,801
even though it's TBD.
64
00:01:56,803 --> 00:01:57,902
Who am I gonna tell?
65
00:01:57,904 --> 00:02:00,438
Come on. Bye.
66
00:02:05,078 --> 00:02:07,178
Hello?
67
00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:08,746
Coleen?
68
00:02:08,748 --> 00:02:10,248
It's Devon.
69
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:13,918
Is, um... Is Coleen... Is she there?
70
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:15,720
Uh, I think you have the wrong number.
71
00:02:15,722 --> 00:02:18,656
Well, it's in my contacts,
so maybe you're...
72
00:02:18,658 --> 00:02:20,158
maybe you're at the wrong number.
73
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,126
I just got this phone
for my 16th birthday.
74
00:02:22,128 --> 00:02:25,330
Well, happy birthday. You
got my dead friend's number.
75
00:02:25,332 --> 00:02:26,464
Oh, yuck.
76
00:02:26,466 --> 00:02:28,166
Yeah. Yeah, "yuck" is right.
77
00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:29,367
I am going to figure this out,
78
00:02:29,369 --> 00:02:30,768
and I'm gonna call you right back.
79
00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:31,836
Why?
80
00:02:31,838 --> 00:02:34,205
Because you have my
dead friend's number.
81
00:02:34,207 --> 00:02:36,207
Oh, yeah. I gave up the plan.
82
00:02:36,209 --> 00:02:37,442
You gave up the plan?
83
00:02:37,444 --> 00:02:38,810
What is wrong with you?
84
00:02:38,812 --> 00:02:40,912
Well, she's not exactly
using it anymore, is she?
85
00:02:40,914 --> 00:02:42,480
Well, I'm using it.
86
00:02:42,482 --> 00:02:43,781
I mean, I-I-I call
and leave her messages.
87
00:02:43,783 --> 00:02:45,216
I update her on everything.
88
00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:46,517
I talk smack with her.
89
00:02:46,519 --> 00:02:48,953
She loves it. Can you
please get it back?
90
00:02:48,955 --> 00:02:51,389
Can't you just try talking up to
the heavens like everyone else?
91
00:02:51,391 --> 00:02:53,791
Oh, grow up, Brian!
There's nobody up there!
92
00:02:53,793 --> 00:02:56,094
I need a voicemail, and I need a beep.
93
00:02:59,532 --> 00:03:01,299
- Flax twist?
- Mm.
94
00:03:01,301 --> 00:03:03,267
No, flax is not my thing.
95
00:03:03,269 --> 00:03:05,136
- But you have it.
- Oh, for me?
96
00:03:05,138 --> 00:03:06,237
Little bit... Little...
97
00:03:06,239 --> 00:03:08,406
Eat the damn dirt stick!
98
00:03:12,112 --> 00:03:13,845
You know, that could
have gone either way.
99
00:03:13,847 --> 00:03:15,513
There was a scenario where he
wanted to be involved in this,
100
00:03:15,515 --> 00:03:16,681
- by the way.
- No.
101
00:03:16,683 --> 00:03:18,249
Rudy would never stay.
102
00:03:18,251 --> 00:03:20,318
He hates the human condition.
103
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,019
You know, I did, too.
104
00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:25,556
But you're the first person who
hasn't disgusted me in so long.
105
00:03:25,558 --> 00:03:27,258
- Babe!
- It's true.
106
00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:28,860
Oh! Thank you.
107
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:30,795
Oh, hang on.
108
00:03:32,164 --> 00:03:33,564
- Oh, shoot.
- What?
109
00:03:33,566 --> 00:03:34,799
- _
- I have to help my friend
110
00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:36,067
- _
- with his kid's birthday party tonight.
111
00:03:36,069 --> 00:03:38,102
What? You were supposed to come over.
112
00:03:38,104 --> 00:03:40,138
I know. I forgot. I have
the apartment to myself.
113
00:03:40,140 --> 00:03:41,973
It's really rare that
all seven roommates
114
00:03:41,975 --> 00:03:43,541
are out at the same time.
115
00:03:43,543 --> 00:03:45,343
Okay, Snow White, I'll come after.
116
00:03:45,345 --> 00:03:46,377
- Okay.
- Okay.
117
00:03:46,379 --> 00:03:47,745
Cool.
118
00:03:52,252 --> 00:03:54,118
Um...
119
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,988
abduction is when you pull
towards the midline of the body.
120
00:03:58,023 --> 00:03:59,457
Nope. Away.
121
00:03:59,459 --> 00:04:01,492
You pull away from the midline.
122
00:04:01,494 --> 00:04:02,994
I'm so sorry. I'm just... I'm...
123
00:04:02,996 --> 00:04:04,929
I'm really in my head today.
124
00:04:04,931 --> 00:04:06,230
What's wrong?
125
00:04:06,232 --> 00:04:08,375
It's kind of you to pretend
126
00:04:08,376 --> 00:04:09,400
that I'm not wearing an ankle sock
127
00:04:09,402 --> 00:04:12,470
and a crew sock that I've pushed
down to look like an ankle sock.
128
00:04:14,473 --> 00:04:15,873
Never would have noticed.
129
00:04:15,875 --> 00:04:17,241
It's just... it's
embarrassing, you know?
130
00:04:17,243 --> 00:04:19,977
I mean, you're... you're
this perfect woman,
131
00:04:19,979 --> 00:04:21,913
and everything about
you is so beautiful,
132
00:04:21,915 --> 00:04:24,148
and I can't even find two
socks that go together.
133
00:04:24,150 --> 00:04:26,551
You should see my room.
It is so unorganized.
134
00:04:26,553 --> 00:04:28,653
You know, I got so many
cool clothes for Christmas.
135
00:04:28,655 --> 00:04:29,854
I can't find any of them.
136
00:04:29,856 --> 00:04:31,989
I love organizing.
137
00:04:31,991 --> 00:04:34,158
I mean, I could come
over and help you...
138
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,493
if you want, of course.
139
00:04:35,495 --> 00:04:37,295
Really? You... I mean,
you'd do that for me?
140
00:04:37,297 --> 00:04:39,197
Well, yeah. Well, I
mean, I have a project
141
00:04:39,199 --> 00:04:40,565
that just fell through,
so I have the time.
142
00:04:40,567 --> 00:04:42,033
Plus, I can get all the stuff.
143
00:04:42,035 --> 00:04:43,601
I have a relationship
with Storage Surplus, so...
144
00:04:43,603 --> 00:04:46,237
Wow. Lucky Storage Surplus.
145
00:04:50,809 --> 00:04:52,577
Hey, Devon.
146
00:04:52,579 --> 00:04:54,912
It's Amy from before...
147
00:04:54,914 --> 00:04:56,514
the one with the dead friend.
148
00:04:56,516 --> 00:04:59,050
So, listen, Coleen was my best friend,
149
00:04:59,052 --> 00:05:01,185
and I've been calling
this number every day
150
00:05:01,187 --> 00:05:03,921
for the past 20 years, and
even though she's gone now,
151
00:05:03,923 --> 00:05:05,756
I still... I still call her, you know,
152
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:07,859
to keep her in the loop
and update her on things,
153
00:05:07,861 --> 00:05:10,928
and it's kind of my way
of... of keeping her alive.
154
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:12,597
I mean, it's cheesy. I-I know.
155
00:05:12,599 --> 00:05:14,098
And I'm... I'm... I'm ridiculous.
156
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,734
But I just... I would
love to get this number.
157
00:05:16,736 --> 00:05:17,969
I would love to keep
this number, you know?
158
00:05:17,971 --> 00:05:20,171
I'm sure you can understand.
159
00:05:20,173 --> 00:05:22,940
Hey, so, I-I know that you kids today
160
00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:24,942
probably don't, you know,
check your voicemail.
161
00:05:24,944 --> 00:05:27,178
So I'm just leaving this,
uh, message to let you know
162
00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:29,013
that I'm gonna... I'm
gonna just shoot you a text.
163
00:05:29,015 --> 00:05:30,615
You didn't respond to my text,
164
00:05:30,617 --> 00:05:32,850
but I saw the bubble,
so I know you got it.
165
00:05:32,852 --> 00:05:35,686
Um... what's going on here, Devon?
166
00:05:35,688 --> 00:05:36,954
Hey, Devon.
167
00:05:36,956 --> 00:05:37,956
Hey, Devon.
168
00:05:37,957 --> 00:05:39,257
Hey, Devon.
169
00:05:39,259 --> 00:05:40,791
Hey, Devon. It's Amy.
170
00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:42,260
Uh, look, you really
don't want this number.
171
00:05:42,262 --> 00:05:45,162
I mean, Coleen was very
nice to telemarketers.
172
00:05:45,164 --> 00:05:46,731
Hey. It's Amy.
173
00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:47,999
Hey, Devon.
174
00:05:48,001 --> 00:05:50,668
What up, girrrrrl?!
175
00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:52,503
What else?
176
00:05:52,505 --> 00:05:55,273
She was the kind of friend that
even if you got in a huge fight,
177
00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:56,974
she wouldn't let you leave
the house in an outfit
178
00:05:56,976 --> 00:05:58,576
that made you look like trash.
179
00:05:58,578 --> 00:06:00,845
- I mean, if you have one friend like that...
- Hon?
180
00:06:00,847 --> 00:06:02,246
- ... in your entire life...
- You doing okay?
181
00:06:02,248 --> 00:06:03,748
Just go! Go, go, go.
182
00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:05,550
No, no, no. Where are you going?
183
00:06:05,552 --> 00:06:07,051
Mailbox is full.
184
00:06:07,053 --> 00:06:08,686
Oh, come on.
185
00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:13,003
Can you please just help me
186
00:06:13,015 --> 00:06:15,315
get Col's number back
from this random teenager?
187
00:06:15,353 --> 00:06:16,386
I know it's hard,
188
00:06:16,768 --> 00:06:19,736
but maybe you should think
about letting the number go?
189
00:06:19,738 --> 00:06:21,738
Just call Jodie or Sarah.
190
00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:24,774
No. Th... I need to
talk about them, and you.
191
00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:26,075
Come on, Henry.
192
00:06:26,077 --> 00:06:27,577
Can't one of them help
you get the number back?
193
00:06:27,579 --> 00:06:28,945
Sarah can be terrifying
when she wants to be.
194
00:06:28,947 --> 00:06:30,613
They don't know that I call her, okay?
195
00:06:30,615 --> 00:06:31,881
I don't want them copying me.
196
00:06:31,883 --> 00:06:33,483
Can't you just, like,
197
00:06:33,485 --> 00:06:35,552
call Devon and offer her some money
198
00:06:35,554 --> 00:06:37,720
or beer or molly?
199
00:06:37,722 --> 00:06:40,456
Well, I'm not gonna call a
teen girl and offer her drugs.
200
00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:41,758
You see the problem there, right?
201
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,593
Yeah, yeah, yes. Fine, fine.
202
00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:45,595
You know what? I'll
just have Donna do it.
203
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:47,297
It'll give her someone
new to cyber-stalk.
204
00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:49,232
She's run out of Kardashians.
205
00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,704
Look what I got at Storage Surplus.
206
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,840
Sock clips. They'll
never be apart again.
207
00:06:57,842 --> 00:07:00,543
So, what do you say
208
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,246
we spice up our sexy times tonight?
209
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:05,582
Is it Tuesday already?
210
00:07:05,584 --> 00:07:09,586
Maybe we try something
different this week.
211
00:07:10,487 --> 00:07:14,324
Like moving sex to Wednesdays?
212
00:07:14,326 --> 00:07:16,459
I bowl on Wednesdays.
213
00:07:16,461 --> 00:07:18,261
Oh, he's her stepbrother.
214
00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,263
They're not related
by blood, so it's okay.
215
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,566
Stepsibling genre has
really cornered the market.
216
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,101
All right. This is my favorite part.
217
00:07:25,103 --> 00:07:26,502
Watch.
218
00:07:26,504 --> 00:07:28,004
Aren't you supposed to be in school?
219
00:07:28,006 --> 00:07:29,105
Now, why did he eat all of her cereal?
220
00:07:29,107 --> 00:07:30,506
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh!
221
00:07:30,508 --> 00:07:32,942
Oh, yeah. Now, that's my type.
222
00:07:32,944 --> 00:07:34,344
She's blond.
223
00:07:34,346 --> 00:07:36,379
Natural one.
224
00:07:36,381 --> 00:07:39,082
She's home. Now you're in trouble.
225
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,216
Ugh. Gross.
226
00:07:40,218 --> 00:07:43,119
I mean, no way she's the mom. She's 25.
227
00:07:43,121 --> 00:07:46,155
I'm gonna put... put this away
228
00:07:46,157 --> 00:07:48,258
in the... bathroom.
229
00:07:49,494 --> 00:07:52,161
Oh, yeah. Eat that cereal, blondie.
230
00:07:52,163 --> 00:07:55,298
The story doesn't make sense!
231
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,539
Oh, and the, uh,
232
00:08:03,541 --> 00:08:05,375
"So sorry about your wife, Brian."
233
00:08:05,377 --> 00:08:07,243
- Ugh. The head tilt.
- Yeah.
234
00:08:07,245 --> 00:08:09,145
"Mm. Oh, Sarah,
235
00:08:09,147 --> 00:08:11,314
how are you holding up
since the divorce, huh?"
236
00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,849
Ooh. The sympathetic pout.
237
00:08:12,851 --> 00:08:14,550
- Mm-hmm. Makes me violent.
- Yeah.
238
00:08:14,552 --> 00:08:17,053
Hey, Brian, why didn't you ask
Jodie to help you with this?
239
00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:18,421
I'll tell you what. Here's
the deal with Jodie...
240
00:08:18,423 --> 00:08:20,323
she's a little much
when it comes to parties.
241
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:21,791
- No.
- Yeah.
242
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,192
- You know, she always wants to have a theme.
- Mm.
243
00:08:23,194 --> 00:08:24,661
I mean, pretty much this
year, the theme is, uh,
244
00:08:24,663 --> 00:08:26,596
"My wife died. Here's a goodie bag."
245
00:08:26,598 --> 00:08:28,231
Yeah. Good move.
246
00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:30,166
Are we all done here? 'Cause
if we are, I'm gonna...
247
00:08:30,168 --> 00:08:31,701
I'm gonna take off, if that's okay.
248
00:08:31,703 --> 00:08:32,935
Yeah. Go have a night.
249
00:08:32,937 --> 00:08:35,071
- All right.
- I'll be fine.
250
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:36,272
Um, okay.
251
00:08:36,274 --> 00:08:37,840
Brian, what are these?
252
00:08:37,842 --> 00:08:40,109
Oh, this is my sad attempt
253
00:08:40,111 --> 00:08:41,944
at Coleen's Rice Krispie snowmen.
254
00:08:41,946 --> 00:08:43,313
She had them on the party list.
255
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:44,847
Wasn't planning on having me make them,
256
00:08:44,849 --> 00:08:46,949
but I think they turned
out okay, though, right?
257
00:08:46,951 --> 00:08:49,452
I think they're beautiful.
258
00:08:49,454 --> 00:08:51,087
But why don't we just give them a zhuzh?
259
00:08:51,089 --> 00:08:53,556
- Just like a little...
- Uh...
260
00:08:53,558 --> 00:08:55,858
- _
- They don't look so bad.
261
00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:58,328
Don't want to put zhuzh
on top of my zhuzh.
262
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,096
- _
- Over-zhuzh 'em.
263
00:09:03,268 --> 00:09:04,867
_
264
00:09:06,136 --> 00:09:07,804
All righty. Let's fix this.
265
00:09:07,806 --> 00:09:10,773
That girl is so needy.
266
00:09:13,978 --> 00:09:17,547
All right! This is
where the magic happens.
267
00:09:17,549 --> 00:09:19,482
Not really.
268
00:09:21,586 --> 00:09:22,985
I love it.
269
00:09:22,987 --> 00:09:24,087
Yeah.
270
00:09:24,089 --> 00:09:26,456
Oh! You're so cute!
271
00:09:26,458 --> 00:09:29,025
Oh, yeah. That...
that's at my uncle's gym.
272
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:30,526
Kind of runs in the family.
273
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,128
Oh!
274
00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:34,931
So, you ready to see it?
275
00:09:38,635 --> 00:09:40,570
- The socks.
- Yeah.
276
00:09:40,572 --> 00:09:41,838
- Yes.
- Yeah. Okay.
277
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,474
They're just... right in here.
278
00:09:44,476 --> 00:09:45,842
- Oh. Fun.
- Yeah.
279
00:09:45,844 --> 00:09:48,010
There's a lot of orphans
in there, so sorry.
280
00:09:48,012 --> 00:09:50,246
- I got you.
- Okay.
281
00:09:53,751 --> 00:09:55,752
All right. Oh.
282
00:09:57,621 --> 00:09:59,489
Um...
283
00:09:59,491 --> 00:10:01,190
- Okay.
- Okay.
284
00:10:04,094 --> 00:10:06,229
Oh, I, uh...
285
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,697
I thought these were fun.
286
00:10:07,699 --> 00:10:08,865
Oh, these are so much fun!
287
00:10:08,867 --> 00:10:10,767
- Aren't they fun?!
- Yes!
288
00:10:10,769 --> 00:10:12,735
Look at these.
289
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,070
- So...
- These are amazing.
290
00:10:14,072 --> 00:10:15,471
Do you just clip them together?
291
00:10:15,473 --> 00:10:18,007
Yeah, they're little...
But they're little couples.
292
00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:19,509
That's perfect.
293
00:10:19,511 --> 00:10:20,943
Hand me your tube socks.
294
00:10:20,945 --> 00:10:23,546
Oh. Uh, okay. Um...
295
00:10:23,548 --> 00:10:25,515
There's one.
296
00:10:25,517 --> 00:10:27,450
And there's two.
297
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,285
Um...
298
00:10:32,055 --> 00:10:34,590
Give me your dress socks.
299
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,526
Um... oh, there's a good one.
300
00:10:36,528 --> 00:10:37,660
Thanks.
301
00:10:37,662 --> 00:10:39,495
Um, oh. All right.
302
00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:45,134
I'm four pounds away
from my goal weight.
303
00:10:45,136 --> 00:10:46,536
No, no, no, no. You're perfect.
304
00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:48,271
Look at your muscle tone.
305
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,872
Those curtsy lunges you've been
doing have really been working.
306
00:10:49,874 --> 00:10:51,340
Oh!
307
00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:52,975
If I had known this was gonna
happen, I would have, uh,
308
00:10:52,977 --> 00:10:54,243
worn better underwear.
309
00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:56,412
Just gonna do something real quick.
310
00:10:59,350 --> 00:11:00,917
Nice.
311
00:11:00,919 --> 00:11:02,618
Okay. You're about to
burn a lot of calories,
312
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,587
so make sure you drink
a lot of water today.
313
00:11:12,397 --> 00:11:14,497
Oh. Oh!
314
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,701
Oh! Oh! Okay.
315
00:11:26,577 --> 00:11:29,445
Donna, are you sure
this is the right place?
316
00:11:29,447 --> 00:11:30,847
Just trust me.
317
00:11:30,849 --> 00:11:34,717
That 5-foot-3-inches of ginger is there.
318
00:11:34,719 --> 00:11:36,219
Bingo.
319
00:11:37,521 --> 00:11:38,788
Gotcha, Red.
320
00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:41,324
Apology accepted.
321
00:11:44,394 --> 00:11:45,928
Devon.
322
00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:47,497
We need to talk.
323
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:49,565
Um, okay. Who are you?
324
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:50,800
Are you someone's mom?
325
00:11:50,802 --> 00:11:52,468
What, is that supposed to be an insult?
326
00:11:52,470 --> 00:11:54,871
No. I'm Amy, the one with the
dead friend whose number you stole.
327
00:11:54,873 --> 00:11:56,405
Okay, you might recognize my voice
328
00:11:56,407 --> 00:11:58,207
from the 100 messages I left you.
329
00:11:58,299 --> 00:11:59,799
So, are you, like, stalking me?
330
00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:01,500
Oh, get over yourself, Devon.
331
00:12:01,502 --> 00:12:04,070
No. I had my assistant stalk you.
332
00:12:04,072 --> 00:12:08,240
Look... this number means a lot to me,
333
00:12:08,242 --> 00:12:10,343
so what's it gonna take?
334
00:12:10,345 --> 00:12:12,712
I feel bad. I really want to help you.
335
00:12:12,714 --> 00:12:14,080
Great.
336
00:12:14,082 --> 00:12:15,514
Then we're done here. Let's go.
337
00:12:15,516 --> 00:12:17,083
There's a... There's a
cellphone kiosk at the mall.
338
00:12:17,085 --> 00:12:18,451
We can swap it out, and
then we can celebrate
339
00:12:18,453 --> 00:12:19,852
with a chair massage after.
340
00:12:19,854 --> 00:12:21,287
I can't. I'm sorry.
341
00:12:21,289 --> 00:12:23,422
I just gave my number
to this really hot guy,
342
00:12:23,424 --> 00:12:25,925
and he hasn't called me yet, so...
343
00:12:25,927 --> 00:12:27,326
Okay, how long has it been?
344
00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:29,362
- Six days.
- Six days?
345
00:12:29,364 --> 00:12:30,796
You're living in a dreamworld, honey.
346
00:12:30,798 --> 00:12:32,999
If he hasn't called you
by now, he's not gonna.
347
00:12:33,001 --> 00:12:34,767
You don't know Kyle.
He's in the Marines.
348
00:12:34,769 --> 00:12:36,469
He's busy.
349
00:12:36,471 --> 00:12:38,638
- Still in play!
- Marines or not, I'm pretty sure
350
00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,606
if you like someone, you
make time to call them.
351
00:12:40,608 --> 00:12:43,509
Okay. Right, ladies? You
can back me up on this.
352
00:12:43,511 --> 00:12:46,145
These are terrible friends.
You have terrible friends.
353
00:12:46,147 --> 00:12:48,347
Kyle's in the Marines! He's busy, okay?
354
00:12:48,349 --> 00:12:50,082
You believe that. Wow, wow, wow.
355
00:12:50,084 --> 00:12:52,485
- Can I help you, ma'am?
- Oh, that's sad. I'm going.
356
00:12:52,487 --> 00:12:54,553
I am... I'm going.
But here's the thing...
357
00:12:54,555 --> 00:12:57,023
he's never going to call you, okay?
358
00:12:57,025 --> 00:12:58,290
Never.
359
00:12:58,292 --> 00:12:59,892
So why don't you do yourself a favor
360
00:12:59,894 --> 00:13:01,227
and grow up, gingerbread?
361
00:13:01,229 --> 00:13:03,329
- Ma'am.
- "Ma'am," yourself.
362
00:13:03,331 --> 00:13:05,131
I'm going. Thank you.
363
00:13:07,702 --> 00:13:10,169
Oh, my God. You know, you
catch more flies with honey.
364
00:13:10,171 --> 00:13:12,138
I know, I know. My...
My inner bully came out.
365
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,506
Just shut up, Donna.
366
00:13:18,611 --> 00:13:19,943
Gifts in the gift pile.
367
00:13:19,945 --> 00:13:22,012
Babies in the baby pile outside.
368
00:13:22,014 --> 00:13:24,181
Oh. Jodie's educational gift.
369
00:13:24,183 --> 00:13:26,049
Let's go outside.
370
00:13:26,985 --> 00:13:28,485
Okay.
371
00:13:28,487 --> 00:13:30,454
I warned those kids not to
do flips on the mini-tramp.
372
00:13:30,456 --> 00:13:32,122
Otherwise, they're gonna
spend the rest of their lives
373
00:13:32,124 --> 00:13:33,190
hooked up to machines.
374
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:34,658
Happy Lila's birthday.
375
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:37,327
Happy Lila's birthday!
376
00:13:37,329 --> 00:13:39,763
Hey. Hey, green shirt, put that down.
377
00:13:39,765 --> 00:13:40,998
I gotta go back outside.
378
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,132
Those balls are a choking hazard.
379
00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:43,567
Yeah. You've always been against 'em.
380
00:13:43,569 --> 00:13:46,937
Happy Lila's birthday!
381
00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,338
I need you.
382
00:13:48,340 --> 00:13:49,806
Okay. I don't think
your gift is big enough.
383
00:13:49,808 --> 00:13:51,275
- Where's Dan?
- Work emergency.
384
00:13:51,277 --> 00:13:52,876
Oh, my God. Kidding.
God, I know he hates us.
385
00:13:52,878 --> 00:13:56,046
Something amazing happened,
and now I'm freaking out!
386
00:13:58,049 --> 00:14:00,551
What, what, what, what, what?
387
00:14:02,955 --> 00:14:03,987
I had sex with Matt.
388
00:14:03,989 --> 00:14:05,255
What?!
389
00:14:05,257 --> 00:14:07,357
Oh, my God. Your affair is real.
390
00:14:07,359 --> 00:14:08,892
I thought you were just
a desperate housewife.
391
00:14:08,894 --> 00:14:11,194
Wait. Why are you surprised?
I said I was gonna do it.
392
00:14:11,196 --> 00:14:12,262
I say I'm gonna kill myself every day.
393
00:14:12,264 --> 00:14:13,597
I don't actually do it.
394
00:14:13,599 --> 00:14:15,365
Now... was it good?
395
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:18,302
Like... "The Time Traveler's Wife."
396
00:14:18,304 --> 00:14:19,570
It was magical!
397
00:14:19,572 --> 00:14:20,604
I don't read.
398
00:14:20,606 --> 00:14:22,406
Can you tell me if he gave me herpes?
399
00:14:22,408 --> 00:14:23,676
- I'm sorry. What? What? What?
- It's only been an hour.
400
00:14:23,676 --> 00:14:25,409
How would I know what herpes looks like?
401
00:14:25,411 --> 00:14:26,612
Well, because you went on
the ski trip senior year.
402
00:14:26,612 --> 00:14:27,945
I thought everybody got herpes.
403
00:14:27,947 --> 00:14:29,046
No. It's a miracle I dodged it.
404
00:14:29,048 --> 00:14:30,881
- Can you?
- No. I gotta go get Sarah.
405
00:14:30,883 --> 00:14:32,551
- I gotta go get Sarah. She's an actual doctor.
- No, no, no, no, no! No.
406
00:14:32,551 --> 00:14:34,718
Please, no. She's gonna be so upset,
407
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:36,653
and I can't take that
on top of the herpes.
408
00:14:36,655 --> 00:14:38,255
- Oh, God. Okay, no, I'm... I'm...
- No, it could just be fleas!
409
00:14:38,257 --> 00:14:40,257
I'm getting her. I'm getting her.
410
00:14:40,259 --> 00:14:42,059
Ooh. Au naturel.
411
00:14:43,261 --> 00:14:44,461
Why would you have herpes?
412
00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:46,797
Who would have given you herpes?
413
00:14:46,799 --> 00:14:48,832
Toilet seat. Dan.
414
00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:52,102
He's very into stepsiblings
with parents their same age,
415
00:14:52,104 --> 00:14:53,104
and he likes blondes.
416
00:14:53,105 --> 00:14:54,538
- Okay.
- Nice, right?
417
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,847
- What are you guys talking about?
- Hmm?
418
00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:07,985
- Amy?
- What, what?
419
00:15:07,987 --> 00:15:10,020
Fine.
420
00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:11,888
I slept with Matt.
421
00:15:11,890 --> 00:15:13,957
- But you can't be mad, because you love me unconditionally.
- Jodie!
422
00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:15,492
- Not now!
- Not a good time!
423
00:15:15,494 --> 00:15:17,027
- Come on in.
- We need our coats. The red one.
424
00:15:17,029 --> 00:15:20,197
Okay. All right. We need the,
um... the red, red, puffy vest.
425
00:15:20,199 --> 00:15:21,598
There she is.
426
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,233
Okay.
427
00:15:23,235 --> 00:15:24,901
And my wife's is the purple wool.
428
00:15:24,903 --> 00:15:26,136
Yeah. All right, all right, all right.
429
00:15:26,138 --> 00:15:27,437
And his wife had the purple wool...
430
00:15:27,439 --> 00:15:30,273
purple wo... No, yeah.
There it is. Great.
431
00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:32,142
Suits you.
432
00:15:33,478 --> 00:15:34,978
Uh, the door... the door doesn't lock.
433
00:15:34,980 --> 00:15:36,980
Well, they took the locks
off after they had the baby.
434
00:15:36,982 --> 00:15:38,849
Really? I did the opposite.
435
00:15:38,851 --> 00:15:40,884
So, what do you think?
436
00:15:42,353 --> 00:15:44,388
Do I have something communicable?
437
00:15:45,123 --> 00:15:46,223
Well, let's see.
438
00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:47,824
I think that it's Lila's birthday.
439
00:15:47,826 --> 00:15:49,626
Her mother, our best friend, is gone,
440
00:15:49,628 --> 00:15:52,029
and that I've been up all night
with Brian, planning this party,
441
00:15:52,031 --> 00:15:53,930
and now you're sitting
here with your bare ass
442
00:15:53,932 --> 00:15:55,365
on strangers' coats
443
00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:57,067
because you couldn't keep
it in your pants, Jodie.
444
00:15:57,069 --> 00:15:58,468
That's what I think.
445
00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:01,271
You helped plan this party with Brian?
446
00:16:01,273 --> 00:16:04,174
That's what you got
out of what I just said?
447
00:16:04,176 --> 00:16:05,976
And, yes, he called me.
448
00:16:05,978 --> 00:16:08,745
Then it is Brian's fault that
I had the affair with Matt,
449
00:16:08,747 --> 00:16:10,313
because if he had called
me to help plan the party,
450
00:16:10,315 --> 00:16:11,581
I wouldn't have ended up at Matt's.
451
00:16:11,583 --> 00:16:12,783
Yeah. That makes sense.
452
00:16:12,785 --> 00:16:14,818
I really respect the
effort, but, um, no.
453
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,653
- That's a reach, Jodie.
- Such a reach.
454
00:16:16,655 --> 00:16:19,256
It is your fault that you have herpes.
455
00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:22,826
I have herpes?
456
00:16:23,962 --> 00:16:25,362
I'm not telling you.
457
00:16:29,968 --> 00:16:31,635
Occupied!
458
00:16:31,637 --> 00:16:34,304
This party's dope. Lila looks happy.
459
00:16:34,306 --> 00:16:36,440
- Are you doing all right?
- Yeah, no, I'm doing great.
460
00:16:36,442 --> 00:16:38,575
Yeah. I thought I was
gonna be a puddle today,
461
00:16:38,577 --> 00:16:40,177
but, uh, no, I'm fine.
462
00:16:40,179 --> 00:16:41,712
- Yeah. That's awesome.
- I'm fine, bud. Yeah.
463
00:16:41,714 --> 00:16:42,846
Mama.
464
00:16:42,848 --> 00:16:43,848
Where Mama?
465
00:16:43,849 --> 00:16:46,249
Mama's not here, but she loves Lila.
466
00:16:47,719 --> 00:16:50,253
That's what the grief book said to say.
467
00:16:50,255 --> 00:16:51,888
Mm.
468
00:16:54,225 --> 00:16:55,358
It's okay to cry, man.
469
00:16:55,360 --> 00:16:57,360
- It's all right. I got it.
- I don't.
470
00:16:57,362 --> 00:17:00,697
Oh. Let it out, buddy. Let it out.
471
00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:05,402
No, no. That's... You
don't need to do that.
472
00:17:06,905 --> 00:17:09,005
Great, we set off the babies.
473
00:17:09,007 --> 00:17:11,408
Hmm.
474
00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:13,343
Well, this is why I
don't wear white jackets.
475
00:17:13,345 --> 00:17:14,511
I already got lipstick on it.
476
00:17:14,513 --> 00:17:17,114
Sarah, you are withholding a diagnosis.
477
00:17:17,116 --> 00:17:18,849
You took an oath.
478
00:17:18,851 --> 00:17:20,484
So did you.
479
00:17:23,521 --> 00:17:25,555
- It's not herpes.
- Oh!
480
00:17:25,557 --> 00:17:29,259
It's an allergic reaction to
dioxide in an off-brand soap.
481
00:17:29,261 --> 00:17:31,561
You guys! It must be Matt's 3-in-1
482
00:17:31,563 --> 00:17:33,363
shampoo, conditioner, and body wash!
483
00:17:33,365 --> 00:17:34,698
I got sensitive skin.
484
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,199
Oh, my God! I said occupied!
485
00:17:36,201 --> 00:17:38,168
Sarah, what the hell?
486
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:39,336
Tanzy?
487
00:17:39,338 --> 00:17:41,004
Why is this lady's crotch out?
488
00:17:41,006 --> 00:17:42,038
Oh, she's not a lady.
489
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:43,640
Lady? That must feel good.
490
00:17:43,642 --> 00:17:45,609
I'm Jodie. Love your name.
491
00:17:45,611 --> 00:17:47,544
Amy. Beautiful face you have.
492
00:17:47,546 --> 00:17:48,645
Well, thank you.
493
00:17:48,647 --> 00:17:50,013
How did you know where I was?
494
00:17:50,015 --> 00:17:52,582
Brian posted a picture on
Instagram and tagged you.
495
00:17:52,584 --> 00:17:54,184
Yeah. Do not mess with Instagram.
496
00:17:54,186 --> 00:17:55,685
It will blow your spot right up.
497
00:17:55,687 --> 00:17:57,988
I'm... I'm sorry. Why are you here?
498
00:17:57,990 --> 00:18:00,223
You know, I feel like
you've been avoiding me
499
00:18:00,225 --> 00:18:02,058
these past couple of days.
500
00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:03,627
Not avoiding you.
501
00:18:03,629 --> 00:18:05,595
I just have things in my life
that you're not involved in.
502
00:18:05,597 --> 00:18:07,130
So, you know, if we're gonna do this,
503
00:18:07,132 --> 00:18:09,399
you just have to keep
it fun and... and casual.
504
00:18:09,401 --> 00:18:11,802
Yeah. But I really like you.
505
00:18:11,804 --> 00:18:13,770
Oh, you really shouldn't,
506
00:18:13,772 --> 00:18:15,772
'cause I'm just not in that place.
507
00:18:15,774 --> 00:18:19,543
My life is a mess right
now, and I-I kind of like it.
508
00:18:19,545 --> 00:18:20,644
Wow.
509
00:18:20,646 --> 00:18:22,479
You know, I can't
believe someone your age
510
00:18:22,481 --> 00:18:23,747
is still playing games.
511
00:18:23,749 --> 00:18:25,949
Oh. My age?
512
00:18:25,951 --> 00:18:27,217
Oh, boy. Yikes.
513
00:18:27,219 --> 00:18:29,152
Well, you are in your 40s.
514
00:18:29,154 --> 00:18:30,320
Mm. Mm-hmm.
515
00:18:30,322 --> 00:18:32,088
- Oof.
- Oh, yeah.
516
00:18:32,090 --> 00:18:33,356
Get out!
517
00:18:33,358 --> 00:18:35,759
- Out! Not 40s!
- All right.
518
00:18:35,761 --> 00:18:37,427
It's 40!
519
00:18:41,471 --> 00:18:43,272
* Happy birthday to you *
520
00:18:43,274 --> 00:18:45,341
* Happy birthday to you *
521
00:18:45,343 --> 00:18:46,575
She's so happy.
522
00:18:46,577 --> 00:18:48,944
* Well, it's all thanks to you *
523
00:18:48,946 --> 00:18:50,780
You know you can stop
singing now, right?
524
00:18:50,782 --> 00:18:55,684
* If I do, I'll start to cry *
525
00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:58,287
* So I'll sing happy birthday *
526
00:18:58,289 --> 00:19:00,322
- Yeah.
- * Happy birthday to you *
527
00:19:00,324 --> 00:19:02,358
Now that's gonna be
stuck in my head all day.
528
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:03,692
Great job with the party.
529
00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:05,528
Oh, please. Come on.
530
00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:09,698
Don't hate me. I really like him.
531
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:12,668
I could never hate you, sadly.
532
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:16,806
I just wish Diana would have
left me instead of cheating.
533
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:21,644
* I don't know why I
just can't let it go *
534
00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:23,879
Last piece, bud.
535
00:19:23,881 --> 00:19:25,448
- God.
- Okay.
536
00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:28,017
I know you think I'm
just being my crazy self,
537
00:19:28,019 --> 00:19:29,452
and that's fine.
538
00:19:29,454 --> 00:19:30,719
But being able to talk to Coleen...
539
00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:32,321
it was like keeping her alive.
540
00:19:32,323 --> 00:19:33,856
And now it just feels like
I'm losing her all over again.
541
00:19:33,858 --> 00:19:37,259
So, um, I know it's Lila's birthday,
542
00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:39,929
but I got you a surprise.
543
00:19:39,931 --> 00:19:41,197
There you go.
544
00:19:41,199 --> 00:19:42,932
You got a flip phone.
545
00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:45,935
It has Col's number. I got it back.
546
00:19:46,937 --> 00:19:48,504
What?
547
00:19:48,506 --> 00:19:50,072
How did you do that?
548
00:19:50,074 --> 00:19:52,074
I just called that Devon girl
and scared the crap out of her.
549
00:19:52,076 --> 00:19:54,343
- Mm.
- This is Amy's dead friend.
550
00:19:54,345 --> 00:19:55,578
That phone is cursed.
551
00:19:55,580 --> 00:19:57,379
I will give you cystic
acne and make sure
552
00:19:57,381 --> 00:19:59,748
you never get invited to prom.
553
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,984
- Oh!
- I also, um...
554
00:20:01,986 --> 00:20:04,086
cobbled together an
outgoing message from, uh...
555
00:20:04,088 --> 00:20:07,590
from the messages she
left on our home phone.
556
00:20:07,592 --> 00:20:09,525
- We have a land line?
- Yeah.
557
00:20:09,527 --> 00:20:11,827
- No.
- I'm sorry.
558
00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,863
I kept it.
559
00:20:13,865 --> 00:20:17,166
Thank you, for all of it.
560
00:20:18,536 --> 00:20:21,370
This is the weirdest
best/worst birthday party
561
00:20:21,372 --> 00:20:23,239
- I've ever been to.
- I know.
562
00:20:24,675 --> 00:20:27,042
I don't think I've ever seen you cry.
563
00:20:27,044 --> 00:20:29,445
- Well, I cried at our wedding.
- No, you didn't.
564
00:20:29,447 --> 00:20:31,914
- I cried right before.
- Okay, that makes more sense.
565
00:20:31,916 --> 00:20:34,316
- Yeah.
- All right, I'm gonna go, um...
566
00:20:34,318 --> 00:20:35,985
I'm gonna go call Coleen.
567
00:20:38,256 --> 00:20:40,456
I'm glad you're not dead.
568
00:20:41,424 --> 00:20:42,992
Me, too.
569
00:20:44,662 --> 00:20:47,163
Hey, Col, it's me.
570
00:20:47,165 --> 00:20:48,664
I'm at Lila's birthday party.
571
00:20:48,666 --> 00:20:51,534
It's weird and sad that you're not here.
572
00:20:51,536 --> 00:20:52,801
But Lila's having a blast,
573
00:20:52,803 --> 00:20:55,471
so don't... don't worry about that.
574
00:20:55,473 --> 00:20:58,374
Um, oh, hey, so... so, listen to this.
575
00:20:58,376 --> 00:21:00,543
That trainer that Jodie was seeing?
576
00:21:00,545 --> 00:21:03,412
Yeah. They did it.
577
00:21:04,715 --> 00:21:06,282
Oh, hang on. You're...
578
00:21:06,284 --> 00:21:08,984
You're getting another call. Hold on.
579
00:21:10,488 --> 00:21:11,554
Hello?
580
00:21:11,556 --> 00:21:13,489
Devon? It's Kyle.
581
00:21:13,491 --> 00:21:15,157
I've been wanting to call you for days.
582
00:21:15,159 --> 00:21:17,893
I was deployed. It's really scary...
583
00:21:17,895 --> 00:21:19,161
No!
584
00:21:19,163 --> 00:21:22,565
Oh, my God. You are
never gonna believe this.
585
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:23,899
He called.
586
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:29,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
41803
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