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1
00:00:04,231 --> 00:00:05,580
So, there's three of you?
2
00:00:05,585 --> 00:00:07,572
Yep. My brother and I were both Navy,
3
00:00:07,577 --> 00:00:10,578
and I have a sister
who's a flight attendant.
4
00:00:10,664 --> 00:00:13,095
Ah. I'll bet she's seen
more combat than both of you.
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:16,973
Oh, yeah, the Sunday night
flight back from Vegas is rough.
6
00:00:17,369 --> 00:00:19,117
Hand me that ten.
7
00:00:20,497 --> 00:00:22,235
Uh, when you bleed the brakes
and refill them...
8
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,862
Yep, I already checked
the brake lines for cracks.
9
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,885
Wow. It's nice to meet a woman
10
00:00:26,890 --> 00:00:28,588
who knows how to fix her own bike.
11
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:31,031
It's nice to meet a Marine
who knows how to read.
12
00:00:32,869 --> 00:00:34,633
Ah. You miss it?
13
00:00:34,638 --> 00:00:35,813
Miss what?
14
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:39,469
Being in, being active duty.
15
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:41,911
Well, I don't miss being on a ship.
16
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,256
You and I are never going on a cruise.
17
00:00:47,601 --> 00:00:49,523
What's the longest you were at sea?
18
00:00:49,528 --> 00:00:52,221
Well, it was supposed to be six months,
19
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:55,046
kept getting extended, turned into nine.
20
00:00:55,051 --> 00:00:56,568
Oh, man, I hate when that happens.
21
00:00:56,573 --> 00:00:58,018
Yeah, and the galley
22
00:00:58,023 --> 00:00:59,368
always knew when bad news was coming
23
00:00:59,372 --> 00:01:01,443
'cause they had us cook
the crew a steak dinner.
24
00:01:01,448 --> 00:01:03,921
Try to soften the blow.
25
00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:06,017
So, if you cook me a rib eye,
26
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:07,582
it means you're gonna break up with me?
27
00:01:08,304 --> 00:01:10,226
Now you know my tell.
28
00:01:11,117 --> 00:01:13,459
Hope it doesn't happen, but if it does,
29
00:01:13,464 --> 00:01:15,292
I like it medium-rare.
30
00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:25,210
- You want to go upstairs?
- Ooh, I don't know.
31
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,260
It's getting kind of late.
32
00:01:27,265 --> 00:01:29,320
Oh!
33
00:01:30,471 --> 00:01:32,468
Other way.
34
00:01:34,915 --> 00:01:37,396
And while many factors
influence our decision-making,
35
00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,312
those decisions turn out to
be surprisingly predictable.
36
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:43,233
Mr. Karimi, we are not even
one minute into this class.
37
00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:45,448
Yes, thank you.
38
00:01:45,578 --> 00:01:48,407
Uh, my question is
this doesn't make sense.
39
00:01:48,537 --> 00:01:51,410
How can you predict what someone
is going to do? You're not God.
40
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,103
I am during midterms.
41
00:01:53,108 --> 00:01:54,544
Uh, that was a joke.
42
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,241
I am not God.
43
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,046
Uh, "I...
44
00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:01,228
am not God."
45
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,414
But it's a good question.
46
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,776
How do we predict human behavior?
47
00:02:09,906 --> 00:02:11,195
Think of the grocery store.
48
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,172
Studies show that when shopping
carts are doubled in size,
49
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:17,205
customers will buy 40% more.
50
00:02:17,210 --> 00:02:18,524
Yes, Mr. Karimi?
51
00:02:19,585 --> 00:02:20,705
I don't do that.
52
00:02:20,710 --> 00:02:22,311
I just buy the groceries I need.
53
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,401
The size of the cart
makes no difference.
54
00:02:24,406 --> 00:02:26,141
You might think that, but grocery stores
55
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:29,643
do manipulate people into
making unconscious decisions.
56
00:02:29,648 --> 00:02:31,624
I actually work in a grocery store,
57
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:33,534
and we don't manipulate anyone.
58
00:02:33,539 --> 00:02:34,975
Well, I already regret asking this,
59
00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:36,890
but what do you do at the grocery store?
60
00:02:37,151 --> 00:02:38,631
I restock the shelves. But Shawn says
61
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,820
I'm only a few months
away from being a bagger.
62
00:02:41,417 --> 00:02:42,766
I bet you restock the shelves
63
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,625
at the end of the aisles
more than the middle.
64
00:02:46,408 --> 00:02:47,914
I do.
65
00:02:48,578 --> 00:02:50,209
That's because of
a psychological principle
66
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,992
called funneling.
67
00:02:52,735 --> 00:02:54,604
I-If you are implying
that my manager Tom
68
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:56,132
is some sort of mastermind,
69
00:02:56,137 --> 00:02:58,601
he once came to work with
his pants on backwards.
70
00:02:59,608 --> 00:03:02,089
Now might be a good
time to remind everyone
71
00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:05,351
that this is a lecture,
not a conversation.
72
00:03:05,788 --> 00:03:08,095
Moving on, there are four
colored circles behind me.
73
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:11,060
Would you all think
of one of those colors?
74
00:03:11,499 --> 00:03:14,217
70% of you chose red.
75
00:03:14,363 --> 00:03:15,726
Show of hands.
76
00:03:17,845 --> 00:03:20,703
Oh, what has he done to us?
77
00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:27,132
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
78
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,147
My appointment is on Wednesday,
79
00:03:35,152 --> 00:03:37,285
but I need to see my therapist today.
80
00:03:37,908 --> 00:03:40,650
I'd rather not tell you what happened.
81
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,091
But, um...
82
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,175
it's something that never happens.
83
00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:47,734
And then the thing that
always happens didn't.
84
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,620
Happen.
85
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,882
Not as sorry as I am.
86
00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:56,318
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'll hold.
87
00:04:00,077 --> 00:04:02,035
- Hey!
- Hey, bud!
88
00:04:04,543 --> 00:04:05,892
Is everything all right?
89
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,671
Oh, everything's fine.
90
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,398
You don't seem fine.
91
00:04:09,403 --> 00:04:10,828
Well, I-I am.
92
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,218
Totally fine.
93
00:04:12,747 --> 00:04:13,852
Mental Health Services.
94
00:04:13,856 --> 00:04:16,062
Hi. Hey, uh, uh,
95
00:04:16,067 --> 00:04:17,544
yeah, I was looking to
move up my appointment
96
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,281
with Dr. Wayne Patterson.
97
00:04:19,286 --> 00:04:21,593
Oh, no, I was actually just on hold.
98
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,224
Uh... Dr. Patterson,
99
00:04:28,229 --> 00:04:29,534
isn't that your therapist?
100
00:04:29,539 --> 00:04:31,802
Al, can you just... give me some space?
101
00:04:33,502 --> 00:04:34,502
What's the matter?
102
00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:35,578
Nothing.
103
00:04:35,583 --> 00:04:37,421
So you're just calling
Mental Health Services
104
00:04:37,426 --> 00:04:39,257
to see how they're doing?
105
00:04:40,664 --> 00:04:42,176
I don't want to talk about it.
106
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:43,328
It's embarrassing.
107
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:44,936
Riley, we don't have secrets.
108
00:04:44,941 --> 00:04:46,726
We tell each other everything.
109
00:04:49,179 --> 00:04:51,205
All right. Uh...
110
00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:54,022
On my date with Holly...
111
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,935
for the first time...
112
00:04:56,404 --> 00:04:58,167
ever...
113
00:04:58,302 --> 00:05:00,300
I wasn't able to perform.
114
00:05:02,622 --> 00:05:04,505
Oh, that is embarrassing.
115
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,567
Yeah.
116
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:09,260
Well, I have not been through that,
117
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:10,788
but, based on TV commercials,
118
00:05:10,793 --> 00:05:12,958
I am the only man in America who hasn't.
119
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,591
Thanks.
120
00:05:14,596 --> 00:05:16,163
You're welcome.
121
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,226
Have you ever thought about
keeping a handful of rice
122
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,928
- in your pocket?
- I have not.
123
00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:23,067
In Afghanistan, a groom will
rub the rice between his fingers
124
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,341
so he is not stressed out
about his wedding night.
125
00:05:25,346 --> 00:05:26,866
I'm sure my therapist
will say the same thing,
126
00:05:26,870 --> 00:05:28,498
but doesn't hurt to double-check.
127
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,719
- Thank you for holding.
- Yeah.
128
00:05:32,723 --> 00:05:34,377
I'm afraid Dr. Patterson
has had to cancel
129
00:05:34,382 --> 00:05:36,026
all his appointments this week.
130
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,685
What? Why?
131
00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:38,942
He's had a medical event.
132
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,514
So have I!
133
00:05:40,865 --> 00:05:42,728
What's wrong with him?
When will he be back?
134
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,692
I'm afraid I can't say.
135
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,696
All right. Thank you.
136
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,744
Oh, Riley,
137
00:05:53,749 --> 00:05:56,208
have you thought about
swallowing raw eggs?
138
00:05:56,213 --> 00:05:57,656
Is that what Afghans do?
139
00:05:57,661 --> 00:05:59,010
It's what Rocky Balboa does.
140
00:05:59,015 --> 00:06:00,886
I bet he doesn't have your problem.
141
00:06:08,798 --> 00:06:10,887
There he is!
142
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,589
See you did some laundry.
143
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:16,021
Yes. I did the laundry.
144
00:06:16,805 --> 00:06:19,404
Laundry is nice, am I right?
145
00:06:19,409 --> 00:06:20,584
What do you want, Riley?
146
00:06:21,945 --> 00:06:24,099
Hey, um, so, uh...
147
00:06:24,544 --> 00:06:26,685
when you and Lois are...
148
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,039
together...
149
00:06:28,852 --> 00:06:30,005
Yeah.
150
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,568
I mean, like...
151
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:33,805
together.
152
00:06:34,178 --> 00:06:35,576
I get it.
153
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,828
Right. So...
154
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:41,401
are you, like, batting a thousand?
155
00:06:41,406 --> 00:06:44,975
Or does the manager ever
have to come out and be like,
156
00:06:45,065 --> 00:06:46,568
"It's not your night"?
157
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,844
Oh...
158
00:06:49,856 --> 00:06:51,935
- You mean...
- Yeah.
159
00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:55,676
I never needed any
help in that department.
160
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,240
Got a lot of buddies who have.
161
00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:58,638
It's very common.
162
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,985
Very, very common.
163
00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:02,339
Very...
164
00:07:03,461 --> 00:07:04,767
Very common.
165
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:08,553
You want to talk about it?
166
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:10,555
- I thought I did.
- Hey.
167
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,257
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
168
00:07:12,262 --> 00:07:13,782
I could make a call to one of my pals,
169
00:07:13,787 --> 00:07:15,474
see if I can hook you up,
170
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:18,089
but they'd know it's not for me.
171
00:07:18,864 --> 00:07:20,981
I mean, come on.
172
00:07:23,942 --> 00:07:26,266
Can we just pretend this
conversation never happened?
173
00:07:26,418 --> 00:07:27,724
I already am.
174
00:07:33,581 --> 00:07:35,104
Very common.
175
00:07:39,801 --> 00:07:41,107
Professor Williams.
176
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,583
Hi. Am I interrupting?
177
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:44,653
Now you ask? Not during lecture?
178
00:07:45,684 --> 00:07:47,940
You won't believe this,
but, at the grocery store,
179
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,208
- I proved your theory right.
- Is that so?
180
00:07:50,213 --> 00:07:51,690
Everything I put at
the end of the aisle,
181
00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:53,522
the customers would buy.
Even the stale bread,
182
00:07:53,527 --> 00:07:55,747
which my manager said showed
real initiative.
183
00:07:56,011 --> 00:07:58,249
Well, that's how it works.
Thanks for stopping by.
184
00:07:58,254 --> 00:07:59,865
See you in class...
185
00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:01,650
All this time, I thought
186
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,255
psychology was about studying
the minds of crazy people.
187
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:06,372
That is where a lot of the action is.
188
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,160
But it is everywhere.
189
00:08:08,165 --> 00:08:09,966
If you want to buy
something, psychology.
190
00:08:09,971 --> 00:08:11,669
You want to get married, psychology.
191
00:08:11,674 --> 00:08:14,005
This is starting to seem like
a legitimate field of study.
192
00:08:14,010 --> 00:08:15,664
Tell that to my mother.
193
00:08:17,027 --> 00:08:18,310
- Professor.
- Yeah.
194
00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:20,106
You are such a fascinating person.
195
00:08:20,111 --> 00:08:22,623
Would you be interested in coming
to my home for dinner tonight?
196
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,803
I feel like you and I
can learn a lot from each other.
197
00:08:24,933 --> 00:08:27,327
Uh, I am flattered, Mr. Karimi,
198
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:29,200
but I wouldn't want the
rest of the class to think
199
00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:30,524
I was showing you any favoritism.
200
00:08:30,529 --> 00:08:32,934
Oh, I think they all
know I'm your favorite.
201
00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:35,797
Here is my address.
202
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:37,559
See you at 6:00.
203
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,305
Riley, why aren't you getting dressed?
204
00:08:43,310 --> 00:08:44,974
My professor will be here soon.
205
00:08:44,979 --> 00:08:47,895
Zero chance I'm stepping foot out there.
206
00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:51,351
But it will be an opportunity
to talk about your problem.
207
00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,489
I'm not seeking those out.
208
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:56,045
Well, at least stop
lifting those weights.
209
00:08:56,049 --> 00:08:58,528
It is not your biceps
that need to get bigger.
210
00:09:02,102 --> 00:09:04,481
This wine is fantastic. Thank you.
211
00:09:04,486 --> 00:09:05,922
Oh, great. Glad you like it.
212
00:09:05,927 --> 00:09:08,107
Let me guess... End of the aisle? Huh?
213
00:09:09,851 --> 00:09:11,919
Oh, it is a psychology joke.
214
00:09:11,924 --> 00:09:13,099
You don't get it.
215
00:09:13,855 --> 00:09:16,316
Professor, the question
I have is this...
216
00:09:16,451 --> 00:09:18,841
When you acquire the
power of psychology,
217
00:09:18,846 --> 00:09:21,153
how do you ensure you
are using it for good?
218
00:09:21,158 --> 00:09:24,689
Well, good itself is
a subjective concept.
219
00:09:24,820 --> 00:09:26,648
And you don't like having people over.
220
00:09:26,779 --> 00:09:27,997
So... so, Lizzie,
221
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,569
you-you said you do pottery?
222
00:09:29,574 --> 00:09:30,895
Yeah, when I can.
223
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:32,966
- I love it.
- I used to throw pots.
224
00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:34,356
At the wall, during my divorce.
225
00:09:34,361 --> 00:09:35,884
I'm kidding. It was very amicable.
226
00:09:35,889 --> 00:09:37,185
We share a cat.
227
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,685
I-I actually made this.
228
00:09:39,690 --> 00:09:40,792
Stop it.
229
00:09:40,797 --> 00:09:42,059
No, really.
230
00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:45,201
I don't want to say
I'm bowled over, but...
231
00:09:45,206 --> 00:09:47,036
since you're smiling, I'm glad I did.
232
00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:50,091
Smiling is part of psychology.
233
00:09:50,096 --> 00:09:52,622
All of it is psychology.
234
00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:56,484
Uh, so how do you like teaching
at the community college?
235
00:09:56,489 --> 00:09:57,505
It's nice.
236
00:09:57,510 --> 00:09:59,030
It's a little more personal
than the university.
237
00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:00,600
I get to spend more
time with my students.
238
00:10:00,604 --> 00:10:02,727
Have dinner with them.
239
00:10:02,858 --> 00:10:04,599
Meet lovely people like you.
240
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,606
Well, cheers to that.
241
00:10:06,611 --> 00:10:07,656
Yeah.
242
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,175
So, is your boyfriend also an artist?
243
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,888
Oh, I don't have a boyfriend.
244
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,325
Well, cheers to that as well.
245
00:10:19,497 --> 00:10:20,958
Okay, enough cheers.
246
00:10:20,963 --> 00:10:22,309
Professor, did you bring your circles?
247
00:10:22,313 --> 00:10:23,833
Never mind. I will make some.
248
00:10:31,385 --> 00:10:34,474
Well, that pot roast
was truly delicious,
249
00:10:34,479 --> 00:10:36,916
which means a lot coming
from a very strict vegan.
250
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:42,005
Well, it's not the first time
my meat made a man switch teams.
251
00:10:43,236 --> 00:10:45,645
Liz, your hair color is so fun.
252
00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:47,043
It really fits your personality.
253
00:10:47,048 --> 00:10:48,919
Thank you. I do like to switch it up.
254
00:10:48,924 --> 00:10:51,144
What a cool form of self-expression.
255
00:10:51,149 --> 00:10:53,333
It is. Isn't it, Dad?
256
00:10:54,164 --> 00:10:55,383
Hmm.
257
00:11:01,220 --> 00:11:03,547
- See what's going on out there?
- Yes.
258
00:11:03,552 --> 00:11:05,249
I can't tell you how sorry I am
259
00:11:05,254 --> 00:11:07,618
for bringing this spider into your home.
260
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:08,651
What are you talking about?
261
00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:09,656
I trusted him.
262
00:11:09,661 --> 00:11:10,931
And here he is,
263
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:13,373
weaving a web around poor Lizzie.
264
00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:16,975
"Ooh, your bowl is so bowl-shaped."
265
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:21,463
I like him.
266
00:11:21,468 --> 00:11:23,209
Last guy she brought home had a chain
267
00:11:23,214 --> 00:11:25,024
from his nose to his wallet.
268
00:11:25,737 --> 00:11:27,954
If you invite a man into your
home and he eats your food,
269
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:30,510
he should not make advances
on a woman in your household.
270
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:32,126
Advances? They're just talking.
271
00:11:32,131 --> 00:11:34,569
Mr. Art, you are just
trying to spare my feelings.
272
00:11:34,574 --> 00:11:36,473
On a subconscious level,
273
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:37,784
you are outraged.
274
00:11:38,149 --> 00:11:39,211
I will take care of it.
275
00:11:39,216 --> 00:11:41,383
Promise you will not
give this another thought.
276
00:11:41,558 --> 00:11:42,914
I promise.
277
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,405
There you are.
278
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,039
Aw, geez.
279
00:11:52,662 --> 00:11:53,925
What are you doing here?
280
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:55,930
I'm checking on you.
281
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:59,104
How the hell'd you find me?
282
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:00,545
You're a vet. You work for the V.A.
283
00:12:00,550 --> 00:12:01,977
It's a V.A. hospital.
284
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,461
Not exactly Waldo.
285
00:12:04,236 --> 00:12:05,632
Y-You shouldn't be here.
286
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:06,953
Oh, don't mention it.
287
00:12:07,711 --> 00:12:09,969
No, I mean it's not appropriate.
288
00:12:09,974 --> 00:12:11,846
Now you sound like the nurse.
289
00:12:12,247 --> 00:12:13,261
What happened?
290
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,777
I broke my hip.
291
00:12:14,782 --> 00:12:17,617
There was an icy patch outside
of the Liquor Barn, and...
292
00:12:17,622 --> 00:12:19,805
Don't worry... I didn't
break the bourbon.
293
00:12:21,438 --> 00:12:23,003
Well, figured you could use a visitor.
294
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:24,797
I could use the bourbon.
295
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,125
While I'm here, I do
have something on my mind.
296
00:12:29,612 --> 00:12:32,224
Hopefully I'll be back in my
office in a couple of weeks.
297
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,078
So, you remem... You remember Holly?
298
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:37,060
You know, you're lucky I can't move.
299
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,536
We're at her place. We're hanging out.
300
00:12:39,541 --> 00:12:42,727
It's going well. Things
are starting to happen.
301
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:44,758
But then...
302
00:12:45,117 --> 00:12:46,238
Uh-oh.
303
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:47,961
Too soon or not at all?
304
00:12:48,589 --> 00:12:49,589
Second one.
305
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:50,808
Oh, geez.
306
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,125
Well, neither one's great.
307
00:12:53,332 --> 00:12:55,247
This never happened to me before.
308
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,509
So it's not me, right?
309
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,180
It's her. It's got to be her.
310
00:12:58,337 --> 00:13:00,252
It's not her.
311
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,216
Then who is it? 'Cause it's not me!
312
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:05,780
Look, a lot of veterans
have this problem.
313
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,438
There's a whole bunch of reasons
314
00:13:07,443 --> 00:13:08,444
- which cause...
- Mr. Patterson,
315
00:13:08,448 --> 00:13:09,680
it's time for your surgery.
316
00:13:09,685 --> 00:13:11,547
Thank God.
317
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:17,633
Hello, Professor.
318
00:13:17,638 --> 00:13:18,723
Hey, there's my favorite student.
319
00:13:18,727 --> 00:13:20,797
I so enjoyed dinner last night.
320
00:13:20,802 --> 00:13:23,617
Mm, I bet you did, you spider.
321
00:13:25,159 --> 00:13:27,684
Feel like I'm missing... something.
322
00:13:28,485 --> 00:13:31,508
You have disrespected me
and the honor of my family.
323
00:13:31,513 --> 00:13:33,297
How? I took my shoes off.
324
00:13:33,302 --> 00:13:35,945
I had meat for the
first time in nine years.
325
00:13:36,539 --> 00:13:38,411
It's clear you have your eyes on Lizzie.
326
00:13:38,768 --> 00:13:40,466
She talk about me?
327
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,469
I sent her a Facebook request,
but I haven't heard back.
328
00:13:42,473 --> 00:13:44,345
I am on pins and needles.
329
00:13:44,601 --> 00:13:46,777
In my culture, it is unthinkable
330
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,479
to be invited into another man's home
331
00:13:48,484 --> 00:13:50,444
and then make advances on
the women in his family.
332
00:13:50,693 --> 00:13:52,391
I am so sorry. I had no idea.
333
00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:53,789
I trusted you.
334
00:13:53,794 --> 00:13:55,594
Do you know how bad
you have made me look?
335
00:13:55,599 --> 00:13:58,745
Oh, geez. I-I will
absolutely stop pursuing her.
336
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,219
I didn't know. If there's some kind
337
00:14:00,224 --> 00:14:03,054
of Afghan sensitivity training
you'd like me to take, I will.
338
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:06,193
If not, uh, maybe you and
I could develop one online.
339
00:14:07,266 --> 00:14:09,582
Good. I'm glad we see eye to eye.
340
00:14:10,426 --> 00:14:11,589
And, you know,
341
00:14:11,594 --> 00:14:13,722
apart from the cultural stuff,
342
00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:16,054
- I should have known.
- You should have.
343
00:14:17,885 --> 00:14:19,408
Known what?
344
00:14:19,767 --> 00:14:21,812
You're living with a
beautiful, talented woman.
345
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,645
It's natural that you
have feelings for her.
346
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,076
How dare you.
347
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,538
That is ridiculous.
348
00:14:26,687 --> 00:14:28,297
Oh, no. I, uh...
349
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,217
I must have misunderstood
the situation again.
350
00:14:30,222 --> 00:14:31,996
I do not have those feelings.
351
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:33,471
Maybe not consciously.
352
00:14:33,476 --> 00:14:34,825
Subconsciously, who knows?
353
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:35,918
I do.
354
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:37,654
I know. Riley is like my brother,
355
00:14:37,659 --> 00:14:39,538
which makes Lizzie
practically like my sister.
356
00:14:39,543 --> 00:14:41,257
We are done here.
357
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:46,486
And what kind of man has
feelings for his sister?
358
00:14:46,491 --> 00:14:47,883
Not this man!
359
00:14:55,898 --> 00:14:57,543
Look who's back.
360
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,202
Oh, God.
361
00:15:00,463 --> 00:15:02,201
According to the gang
at the nurses' station,
362
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,598
your surgery went great.
363
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,203
Oh, and if they ask, I'm your son.
364
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,862
That's the only way they'd let me in.
365
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,032
So, I was thinking about
what you said.
366
00:15:10,036 --> 00:15:11,298
You're wrong.
367
00:15:11,303 --> 00:15:13,044
It's got to be Holly's fault.
368
00:15:13,757 --> 00:15:15,784
When I press this button,
369
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:19,788
uh, it gives me more
painkiller and I pass out.
370
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,705
So, I'm gonna give you 90 seconds.
371
00:15:24,706 --> 00:15:27,100
Fine. One, I'm in great shape.
372
00:15:27,355 --> 00:15:29,053
Two, never happened with Vanessa.
373
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:31,835
Three, every other woman, no complaints.
374
00:15:32,234 --> 00:15:34,146
Okay, some complaints,
but it was mostly about me
375
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,085
being "emotionally unavailable."
376
00:15:36,998 --> 00:15:40,175
Okay. Were any of these
women special to you?
377
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,724
No.
378
00:15:42,835 --> 00:15:44,291
No.
379
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,857
Nyet.
380
00:15:45,925 --> 00:15:47,554
That was Natasha. She was a gymnast.
381
00:15:47,565 --> 00:15:48,827
Okay.
382
00:15:48,832 --> 00:15:50,921
Okay, do you think Holly may be
383
00:15:50,926 --> 00:15:54,035
your first actual
relationship since your wife?
384
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,476
Well, I just started seeing her.
385
00:15:55,481 --> 00:15:58,328
I don't know if I'd use big
words like "relationship."
386
00:15:58,907 --> 00:16:00,387
But...
387
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,607
I guess.
388
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,087
All right. There you go.
389
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,093
It's different. More pressure.
390
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,796
So, what, because I like
her, that's a problem?
391
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:12,188
Riley, if I ask you to
make a three-foot putt,
392
00:16:12,193 --> 00:16:14,265
- do you think you could do it?
- Sure.
393
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:16,927
What if there was a
million dollars on it?
394
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,501
I don't know. Maybe.
395
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:24,505
See? When there's more on
the line, it's tougher to do.
396
00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:26,328
But I thrive under pressure.
397
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,638
I've been in combat.
398
00:16:27,643 --> 00:16:29,374
Well, sex ain't combat.
399
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,960
Unless that's her thing.
400
00:16:34,999 --> 00:16:37,002
So how am I supposed to
stop feeling pressure?
401
00:16:37,437 --> 00:16:39,304
Lee Marvin.
402
00:16:40,601 --> 00:16:44,170
I'm sorry. I think the
morphine just kicked in.
403
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,632
Cat Ballou.
404
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,183
Dirty Dozen.
405
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,359
E-Ernie Borgnine!
406
00:16:57,543 --> 00:16:58,849
- Hey. Al.
- Yeah.
407
00:16:59,222 --> 00:17:00,440
Can I ask you something?
408
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,648
Of course.
409
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,321
Would you be upset
410
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:06,373
if I asked your professor out on a date?
411
00:17:06,913 --> 00:17:08,239
Why would I be upset?
412
00:17:08,244 --> 00:17:10,882
I have no feelings about it whatsoever.
413
00:17:11,484 --> 00:17:12,617
Really?
414
00:17:12,648 --> 00:17:14,985
- None?
- None. Why, did he say something?
415
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,339
It's a lie.
416
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,560
No, I-I just don't want
to make things awkward
417
00:17:19,565 --> 00:17:20,703
for you at school.
418
00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:21,774
No, go ahead.
419
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:23,433
It makes no difference to me.
420
00:17:23,572 --> 00:17:25,203
- You sure?
- Absolutely.
421
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,264
Great. Thanks.
422
00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:32,969
You're taking things out of the dryer
and putting them in the washer.
423
00:17:32,973 --> 00:17:34,627
Don't tell me how to do my laundry.
424
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,670
Hey.
425
00:17:43,675 --> 00:17:45,363
Hey! Where you been?
426
00:17:45,477 --> 00:17:47,757
Sorry I didn't answer your texts.
427
00:17:49,410 --> 00:17:51,538
I'm sorry about the other night.
428
00:17:51,673 --> 00:17:53,284
What are you sorry about?
429
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,546
We had fun.
430
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,960
Yeah, but we didn't have all the fun.
431
00:17:57,482 --> 00:17:59,267
It happens.
432
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,843
Not to me.
433
00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:07,173
I think it's 'cause, with other girls,
434
00:18:07,178 --> 00:18:08,614
it was like...
435
00:18:08,768 --> 00:18:11,031
I had my car keys in
my hand the whole time.
436
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,222
I don't remember names,
I don't remember faces...
437
00:18:13,227 --> 00:18:15,437
Boy, I hope this was
not a prepared speech.
438
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,875
I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm saying.
439
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,690
This... is not a big deal.
440
00:18:21,710 --> 00:18:23,408
It is.
441
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:25,820
It's like golf.
442
00:18:25,825 --> 00:18:28,406
Even if you're a pro, it's
hard to sink a three-foot putt
443
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:30,191
with a million bucks on the line.
444
00:18:30,321 --> 00:18:32,410
So, in this metaphor,
445
00:18:32,415 --> 00:18:33,726
you're the pro?
446
00:18:34,497 --> 00:18:37,021
And you're the million bucks.
447
00:18:37,907 --> 00:18:40,040
I like hanging out with you.
448
00:18:40,256 --> 00:18:42,171
So how 'bout we keep hanging out
449
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,427
and we don't worry about the rest?
450
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:48,687
And how long are you
gonna be happy with that?
451
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:49,954
I don't know.
452
00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:52,309
But I do know the happiest
I've been all week
453
00:18:52,314 --> 00:18:54,554
is when you walked through that door.
454
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,787
Damn it.
455
00:18:56,792 --> 00:18:59,316
When it works, you're in for a treat.
456
00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,018
- I'll get it.
- You sure?
457
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,455
'Cause I was just about to get up.
458
00:19:15,763 --> 00:19:16,976
Hello, Mr. Karimi.
459
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:18,374
Hello, Professor.
460
00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:20,064
Can I talk to you for a minute?
461
00:19:20,069 --> 00:19:21,375
- Sure.
- Ah.
462
00:19:25,835 --> 00:19:28,814
Before you say anything,
Lizzie initiated this date.
463
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:31,735
And I spoke to HR about it
and they said it was okay,
464
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:34,429
which... trust me...
They do not always do.
465
00:19:35,429 --> 00:19:37,475
I know. And I'm perfectly happy for you.
466
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,477
I just want you to
know that you were wrong
467
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,952
when you accused me of
having secret feelings.
468
00:19:41,957 --> 00:19:44,308
Well, not secret...
Subconscious feelings.
469
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:47,795
It is you who has those
feelings for Lizzie, not me.
470
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:49,726
It's called projection.
471
00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:52,007
That's right. I read ahead.
472
00:19:53,784 --> 00:19:54,829
Hey.
473
00:19:56,179 --> 00:19:58,328
- You ready to go?
- Absolutely.
474
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:01,025
Have so much fun!
475
00:20:01,282 --> 00:20:02,370
Or don't.
476
00:20:02,398 --> 00:20:03,898
I don't care.
477
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,412
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
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