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1
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[♪ Spooky Theremin plays ]
2
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Hey, Hank and Wanda
3
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are coming over to my place tonight
4
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to watch scary movies.
5
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:08,340
You should come too.
6
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:10,208
Watching scary movies on Halloween.
7
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That's a bit "on the nose," isn't it?
8
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Not really.
9
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Watching the movie "Halloween" on Halloween,
10
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while wearing a pointy witch's hat
11
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and a goalie mask,
12
00:00:18,484 --> 00:00:20,085
on Friday the 13th,
13
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that's too much.
14
00:00:21,153 --> 00:00:24,356
Not sure how October 31st
falls on Friday the 13th,
15
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,224
but yeah, I'll come over.
16
00:00:26,225 --> 00:00:28,626
Brent, I need to buy some insurance.
17
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Okie doke, that'll be $20.
18
00:00:32,898 --> 00:00:34,232
You sell insurance?
19
00:00:34,233 --> 00:00:35,300
Yeah, Halloween insurance.
20
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It's my own invention.
21
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If someone eggs or TPs
22
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or otherwise vandalizes your property,
23
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I get it cleaned up, no questions asked.
24
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I usually take in
25
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about 500 or 600 bucks every year.
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Pretty ingenious, right?
27
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It is.
28
00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:47,847
You know, technically,
29
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you're turning tricks
for money on Halloween.
30
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Had to go and make it filthy.
31
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Okay, jackass,
32
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sell me some of your stupid rip-off
33
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Halloween insurance.
34
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Really?
35
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You've never bought
insurance from me before.
36
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All righty, then. That'll be 60 bucks.
37
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60?!
38
00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:05,196
It's supposed to be 20!
39
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20 for regular folks,
40
00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:08,400
who don't spend the entire calendar year
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pissing people off.
42
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You're a high risk,
43
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so I need to charge a higher premium.
44
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That's not fair!
45
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If it helps, you can think of it
46
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as a "crusty crank karma clause."
47
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How would that help?
48
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♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪
49
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[♪ spooky Theremin plays ]
50
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♪ Look closer, baby you're so wrong ♪
51
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[♪♪♪]
52
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Ta-da!
53
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Behold my masterpiece!
54
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I behold,
55
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and what is it?
56
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Seriously?
57
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This is a pitch-perfect replica
58
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of Dr. Armordillo's costume.
59
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I spent months hand-crafting it.
60
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I see,
61
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and who is Mr. Armordillo?
62
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Dr. Armordillo.
63
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He's only my favourite comic book superhero,
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who didn't spend eight years
in medical school
65
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to have some rookie cop call him "Mister."
66
00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:01,786
I've never heard
of your obscure nerd heroes.
67
00:02:01,787 --> 00:02:03,388
You never heard of Spider-Man
68
00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:04,456
until Tobey Maguire.
69
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,392
I never heard of Tobey Maguire
until Spider-Man.
70
00:02:07,393 --> 00:02:08,726
Touché.
71
00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:09,794
I can't wait to put this on
72
00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:12,997
and patrol the town
as a real live superhero.
73
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I don't think it's fair
74
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that every year you patrol
in a fun Halloween costume,
75
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but I have to stay in uniform.
76
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,539
It's not my fault regulations dictate
77
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one officer must remain in standard uniform,
78
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and this costume took me months to build.
79
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Custom airbrushed panels,
80
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interlocking canvas straps,
81
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hinged faceplate.
82
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I thought of everything!
[chuckling gleefully]
83
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[wailing] Oh no!
84
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Did you think to measure yourself?
85
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How could I be so stupid?
86
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Now no one will appreciate my artistry.
87
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I appreciate the irony.
88
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All that work,
89
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and your scales aren't to scale?
90
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Wait.
91
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:51,971
You know who this might fit?
92
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I hate you.
93
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[♪♪♪]
94
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[doorbell ringing]
95
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Hi! Sorry, am I late?
96
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Nope, right on time.
97
00:03:02,114 --> 00:03:03,181
Hey, Hank. Hey, Wanda.
98
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[yelping]
99
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Geez, you scared me.
100
00:03:06,118 --> 00:03:08,520
I didn't know we were
supposed to wear costumes.
101
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,587
We're not.
102
00:03:09,588 --> 00:03:11,990
Hank dresses up every year as Frankenstein.
103
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Hank-enstein.
104
00:03:13,325 --> 00:03:14,926
Technically, Hankenstein's monster,
105
00:03:14,927 --> 00:03:17,328
but yeah, yeah, I'm not hung up on that.
106
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:18,130
What are you,
107
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some kind of serial killer?
108
00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,265
This isn't a costume.
109
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My pressure cooker popped
while I was making ravioli.
110
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Hell of a mess.
111
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:26,137
And you just decided not to change?
112
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We're watching movies,
113
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not having crumpets with Dame Edna.
114
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Here's the knife I borrowed.
115
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[disembodied shriek]
116
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Ooh, spooky.
117
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Are you playing one of those
sound effect recordings?
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Actually, no.
119
00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:38,950
I'm not sure what that is.
120
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It's been happening for the past three days.
121
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And you haven't looked into it?
122
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Screams and such aren't that surprising
123
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in this house.
124
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Yeah, it's got a creepy history.
125
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History? What history?
126
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Hey, who wants a drink?
127
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[♪♪♪]
128
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I have to go to the bathroom.
129
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If any trick-or-treaters come to the door,
130
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you have to dole out the candy.
131
00:03:59,238 --> 00:04:00,838
And be nice!
132
00:04:00,839 --> 00:04:02,440
I'm always nice!
133
00:04:02,441 --> 00:04:04,309
[doorbell rings]
134
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,177
Robot and a werewolf?
135
00:04:06,178 --> 00:04:07,512
That makes no sense.
136
00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:08,846
They're natural enemies.
137
00:04:08,847 --> 00:04:11,249
If you're going out together,
you should be a team.
138
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[slam]
139
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I don't even know
140
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,986
what the hell you're supposed to be.
141
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Fail!
142
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You get one piece.
143
00:04:16,855 --> 00:04:17,656
[slam]
144
00:04:18,991 --> 00:04:19,792
Hippie.
145
00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,727
How old are you, 16?
146
00:04:22,728 --> 00:04:25,129
And you're not even wearing costumes,
147
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unless you're going as a pack of jackasses.
148
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[slam]
149
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I said be nice!
150
00:04:29,935 --> 00:04:31,002
I'm not giving candy
151
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to a bunch of 16-year-old punks.
152
00:04:33,405 --> 00:04:36,341
You pissed off teenagers?
153
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:37,142
On Halloween?
154
00:04:37,143 --> 00:04:39,811
Why don't you just paint
"Please egg our house"
155
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on the door?
156
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We're in for it now.
157
00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:43,815
Way to go, Oscar.
158
00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,036
I was nice to the bug-eyed thing.
159
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[♪♪♪]
160
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[grunting stiffly]
161
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This is ridiculous.
162
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I can barely move.
163
00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:58,229
Dr. Armordillo built his suit for battle,
164
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not comfort.
165
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His armor even curls into a protective ball,
166
00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:03,568
like a real armadillo.
167
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:04,902
The guy's a genius.
168
00:05:04,903 --> 00:05:07,839
A genius would've built
a costume that breathes.
169
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[grunting and screaming in distress]
170
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I can't take it!
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I want out!
172
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No!
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I worked too hard
174
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for this costume not to get shown off!
175
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Look, look, I'll make you a deal.
176
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Wear this costume this year,
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and next year I'll patrol in uniform,
178
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and you can dress up as anything you want.
179
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Anything?
180
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Hmm... okay.
181
00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:29,193
What will I go as?
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Well, something slutty, for sure,
183
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but what?
184
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:33,731
Hmm...
185
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What to slut?
186
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I'm uncomfortable with that word.
187
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Feels sexist,
188
00:05:38,804 --> 00:05:40,672
but you've got all year to figure that out.
189
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Hop in, and let's roll.
190
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[grunting stiffly]
191
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This stupid costume
192
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doesn't bend at the waist.
193
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:51,616
I can't sit down.
194
00:05:51,617 --> 00:05:52,684
Huh...
195
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:55,086
Must've forgot a few canvas hinges.
196
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[♪♪♪]
197
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Hey, quick question.
198
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What history are they talking about?
199
00:06:00,159 --> 00:06:02,026
Oh, that history is all bunkum,
200
00:06:02,027 --> 00:06:03,361
and/or hogwash.
201
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,163
It's bunkwash.
202
00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:04,963
Hmm, the fact
203
00:06:05,230 --> 00:06:07,365
that you're using made-up words
to discount it
204
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,233
makes me wonder if it is.
205
00:06:09,234 --> 00:06:09,768
It's nothing.
206
00:06:10,035 --> 00:06:11,636
It's just gossip and fiddle-faddle.
207
00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:12,704
It's gossy-foddle.
208
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,572
Well, let's give Lacey the lowdown,
209
00:06:14,573 --> 00:06:16,174
and let her judge for herself.
210
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Shall we?
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We shall.
212
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This house,
213
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the one we're in right now,
214
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was built by George and Julie Aberdeen.
215
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,050
They lived here for years,
216
00:06:26,051 --> 00:06:27,652
but in their retirement,
217
00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:29,787
they took in a renter...
218
00:06:29,788 --> 00:06:30,855
[Wanda] They rented a room
219
00:06:30,856 --> 00:06:33,791
to a man who had just moved to town.
220
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A butcher,
221
00:06:34,594 --> 00:06:35,927
looking for work.
222
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:36,994
Lotta folks say
223
00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:39,397
there was something odd about that man,
224
00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,265
and maybe there was...
225
00:06:41,266 --> 00:06:43,401
[Hank] ...because soon after he moved in,
226
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:45,803
the Aberdeens went missing.
227
00:06:45,804 --> 00:06:48,740
Butcher said they had gone on vacation,
228
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:49,807
a cruise...
229
00:06:49,808 --> 00:06:50,875
[Wanda] ...but folks were suspicious,
230
00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:54,612
because George and Julie
were always short on money.
231
00:06:54,613 --> 00:06:56,214
Rumours began to swirl
232
00:06:56,215 --> 00:06:58,883
that Butcher had locked them
in the basement crawlspace,
233
00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:01,018
where they starved to death.
234
00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:03,421
[Hank] Some say there are fingernail marks
235
00:07:03,422 --> 00:07:05,022
on the crawlspace door,
236
00:07:05,023 --> 00:07:06,624
where they scratched in vain
237
00:07:06,625 --> 00:07:08,493
to get out.
238
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,628
Okay, well, Happy Halloween,
239
00:07:10,629 --> 00:07:12,230
and here's me leaving.
240
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:14,632
They're just trying to scare you.
241
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,501
It's all a bunch of hinkus dinkus
242
00:07:16,502 --> 00:07:17,035
and malarkey.
243
00:07:17,302 --> 00:07:18,903
Wow, you have a lot of grampa words
244
00:07:18,904 --> 00:07:19,705
to discredit stuff.
245
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:20,772
Hooey!
246
00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:21,839
No one was ever locked
247
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:22,641
in the crawlspace,
248
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:23,708
and I'll prove it.
249
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:25,309
We'll all go down and have a look,
250
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:28,513
and we will see exactly zero scratch marks.
251
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,580
Awesome!
252
00:07:29,581 --> 00:07:30,382
Cool!
253
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,250
Yeah, let's go to the basement,
254
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:35,453
because that's never
how a horror movie starts.
255
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:37,588
[♪♪♪]
256
00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:39,991
Well, it took a bit of ingenuity,
257
00:07:39,992 --> 00:07:41,592
but we got it figured out.
258
00:07:41,593 --> 00:07:42,927
[grunting]
259
00:07:42,928 --> 00:07:45,863
Telling me to walk beside the car
260
00:07:45,864 --> 00:07:47,999
doesn't take a lot of ingenuity.
261
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,134
Well, you didn't come up with it.
262
00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:52,003
You really think those teenagers
263
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,871
are going to attack our house?
264
00:07:53,872 --> 00:07:54,939
How would I know?
265
00:07:54,940 --> 00:07:56,274
But definitely.
266
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,676
[panting] Rotten, no good...
267
00:07:58,677 --> 00:07:59,744
Relax.
268
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,078
At the end of the day,
269
00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:02,947
you got Halloween insurance,
270
00:08:02,948 --> 00:08:05,616
so whatever happens, Brent will clean it up.
271
00:08:05,617 --> 00:08:06,684
Sure.
272
00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:09,086
But we should still keep a look-out.
273
00:08:09,087 --> 00:08:12,023
Not fair for Brent
to have to do a buncha work
274
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:13,624
because of some stupid kids.
275
00:08:13,625 --> 00:08:16,294
It's not like you to care about your son.
276
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:17,095
How dare you?!
277
00:08:17,362 --> 00:08:19,764
My dear boy and I have an unshakeable bond
278
00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:20,832
that could never be...
279
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,967
You didn't buy insurance, did you?
280
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:24,836
That jerk was ripping me off
281
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,170
with his higher premiums
282
00:08:26,171 --> 00:08:27,772
and crusty karma,
283
00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:29,640
and I wasn't gonna let him screw me over!
284
00:08:29,641 --> 00:08:32,043
Well, isn't that great?
285
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:35,513
So now a gang of teenagers
will screw us instead.
286
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:36,581
You're hopeless,
287
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:38,183
and we're hooped.
288
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:42,186
I got a bad feeling about this.
289
00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:43,521
[disembodied shriek]
290
00:08:43,522 --> 00:08:44,589
[Hank, Wanda, and Lacey scream]
291
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,190
Jeez, relax.
292
00:08:46,191 --> 00:08:48,593
Look, the lights are still on upstairs.
293
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,194
It's probably just a fuse.
294
00:08:50,195 --> 00:08:51,529
A shrieking fuse?
295
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:54,999
Look, the ghost clearly
doesn't want us to be here.
296
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,334
Say what you want about ghosts,
297
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:58,736
but they give people plenty of warning
298
00:08:58,737 --> 00:08:59,538
to get out.
299
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:00,339
Sometimes
300
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:02,206
they even say, "Get out!"
301
00:09:02,207 --> 00:09:03,274
This will only take a second,
302
00:09:03,275 --> 00:09:04,610
and then we can head back up.
303
00:09:06,745 --> 00:09:08,079
[they gasp in horror]
304
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,680
Why are you gasping?
305
00:09:09,681 --> 00:09:11,816
There's clearly no scratch marks.
306
00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,951
I just assumed there would be,
307
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:16,354
but you're right, it's all smooth.
308
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,155
Wait...
309
00:09:17,156 --> 00:09:19,824
The colour of the door is different
310
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:23,027
than the inside of the crawlspace.
311
00:09:23,028 --> 00:09:25,162
The inside of the door was repainted!
312
00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:27,031
And those hinges look new, too.
313
00:09:27,032 --> 00:09:28,366
[all gasping in horror]
314
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:29,433
- [doorbell rings]
- [all screaming in panic]
315
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:30,235
Who's that?
316
00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:33,438
Oh, it's probably trick-or-treaters.
317
00:09:36,469 --> 00:09:39,030
[♪♪♪]
318
00:09:39,055 --> 00:09:41,414
Okay, I checked the basement windows,
319
00:09:41,439 --> 00:09:42,507
and we're all locked up.
320
00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:44,133
So far, so good.
321
00:09:44,158 --> 00:09:46,027
Think again.
322
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,988
They soaped our living room windows?
323
00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,857
You know this is all your fault.
324
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,725
I know, I know!
325
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,327
I'll get the flashlights.
326
00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,462
Nothing else is happening to this house!
327
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,332
Trick or treat!
328
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,602
This has all the elements of a horror movie,
329
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,737
and you're just blindly ignoring it.
330
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:07,140
Which is also an element
of every horror movie.
331
00:10:07,141 --> 00:10:08,207
Exactly.
332
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,809
It happens in movies.
333
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,211
Wanda, there's gotta be
some logical, rational,
334
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,614
sciency explanation for all this, right?
335
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:17,016
I read that hauntings may be manifestations
336
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:18,084
of negative energies
337
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,686
trapped in a physical space.
338
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,554
And this is the part where the quirky nerd
339
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:23,956
explains how we all get murdered.
340
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,558
"Cute" quirky nerd?
341
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,694
So the negative energies of the Aberdeens
342
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:30,096
are forever trapped in your crawlspace.
343
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:30,898
That proves it!
344
00:10:30,899 --> 00:10:31,964
Proves what?
345
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,299
That someone painted a door?
346
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,968
Can we just put all this creepy psycho stuff
347
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:36,770
behind us
348
00:10:36,795 --> 00:10:39,172
and go watch "Montana Murder Ranch"?
349
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:41,041
[doorbell rings]
350
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:43,976
Okay, we're here.
351
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,311
What's the emergency?
352
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,379
We didn't call the cops.
353
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:47,447
Maybe you didn't.
354
00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:49,048
What took you so long?
355
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:49,850
And where's Karen?
356
00:10:49,851 --> 00:10:51,184
Karen is, uh...
357
00:10:51,185 --> 00:10:53,052
bringing up the rear.
358
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,188
[grunting awkwardly]
359
00:10:55,189 --> 00:10:56,789
Who are you supposed to be?
360
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:59,726
Professor Possum, or Admiral Aardvark.
361
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,327
You ever heard of him?
362
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,662
Exactly.
363
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,530
You ever hear of Spider-Man?
364
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:05,332
Of course.
365
00:11:05,333 --> 00:11:08,000
Yeah, well... still.
366
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,335
[grunting awkwardly]
367
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,937
I pissed off some Halloweeners,
368
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:13,339
and now they're out for blood.
369
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,407
I want police protection.
370
00:11:14,408 --> 00:11:15,475
Protection?
371
00:11:15,476 --> 00:11:17,610
What are a few kids gonna do?
372
00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:19,212
It wasn't little kids.
373
00:11:19,213 --> 00:11:20,813
It was teenagers.
374
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,216
You pissed off teenagers?
375
00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:23,751
Oh, no.
376
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,618
They're the worst kind of 'agers.
377
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:26,686
I know.
378
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:28,554
They've already soaped our windows.
379
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,690
God only knows what they'll do next.
380
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:31,758
I'll radio Karen
381
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:33,092
to secure the perimeter.
382
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,427
You two, stay sharp.
383
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,762
I'll go look for teenagers
384
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,363
with soapy hands.
385
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:38,165
[♪♪♪]
386
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,435
Now, if you don't want
"Montana Murder Ranch,"
387
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,837
there's also "Texas Bloodbath Blitz,"
388
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,706
"The Lone Star Slaughter,"
389
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:49,108
or "Terror on Tumbleweed Trail."
390
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:51,511
Boy, we've got a real
western theme going here.
391
00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:52,578
What I want to know is,
392
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,913
who owned this house
393
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,048
after the Aberdeens' demise?
394
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:56,850
That's the thing.
395
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,519
After the Aberdeens died in the basement,
396
00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,188
the Butcher conveniently produced a document
397
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,323
that transferred the title to him.
398
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:04,858
Nobody died
399
00:12:04,859 --> 00:12:06,726
or demised in my basement.
400
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,861
In the months that followed,
401
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:11,798
more people from town went missing.
402
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,399
Okay, you're freaking me out.
403
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,734
That's 'cause she's bottom-lit
404
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:15,802
by her phone.
405
00:12:15,803 --> 00:12:18,471
Oh, it's a notification.
406
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:19,806
Hot Singles in My Area.
407
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,407
[chuckling] Talk about fake news.
408
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,475
Anyway...
409
00:12:22,476 --> 00:12:24,076
Rumours started to swirl
410
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,678
about there being a locked freezer
411
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,013
in the garage.
412
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:29,148
There's nothing wrong with a locked freezer.
413
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:29,950
Meat is valuable.
414
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:32,618
Is it so hard to believe
people might steal steaks?
415
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:35,556
Or that people might become steaks!
416
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:37,157
Anyway,
417
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:37,958
one day,
418
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:40,893
the police went to confront the Butcher,
419
00:12:40,894 --> 00:12:42,762
but he'd left town,
420
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:43,564
and...
421
00:12:43,565 --> 00:12:45,698
he took his freezer with him.
422
00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,834
Full of human steaks?
423
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,236
Some say there's still
a blood stain on the floor
424
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:51,838
where the freezer used to be.
425
00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:52,905
Who are these "some people"
426
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,240
who say all these things?
427
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:57,443
Some say they were residents of the town.
428
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,046
Okay.
429
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:01,715
[owl hoots softly]
430
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,650
[twig snaps]
431
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:05,718
[creature snarls]
432
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,588
Who's there?
433
00:13:08,375 --> 00:13:10,523
Stupid piece of junk!
434
00:13:10,524 --> 00:13:11,859
Ah, finally.
435
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:14,528
[yelping]
436
00:13:14,529 --> 00:13:16,128
[screaming]
437
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:16,663
Emma!
438
00:13:16,664 --> 00:13:19,066
There's a demon in the garden!
439
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:22,802
What the...
440
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,937
Karen, you're supposed to be
at Oscar and Emma's,
441
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,539
but you're trick or treating?
442
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:28,407
Look, I get that you're angry,
443
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,276
but acting out like this?
444
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,611
Pretty unprofessional.
445
00:13:31,612 --> 00:13:33,479
[cell phone rings]
446
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:34,547
DRPD.
447
00:13:34,548 --> 00:13:35,615
[Oscar] Davis!
448
00:13:35,616 --> 00:13:36,949
The teen demons are here!
449
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,818
There's children in the corn!
450
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,419
[beeps off phone] Teens are attacking.
451
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,022
We gotta go.
452
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,627
Fine, I'll carry you.
453
00:13:47,628 --> 00:13:48,428
[grunting]
454
00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,698
[♪♪♪]
455
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,766
Have a look for yourselves.
456
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,435
There are no stains on the floor.
457
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,503
There's a stain.
458
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,571
Okay, that's oil.
459
00:13:58,572 --> 00:13:59,906
There's a stain.
460
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,507
That one's anti-freeze,
461
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,109
and that one over there is mustard.
462
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,778
Sometimes I barbecue hot dogs
in here in the winter.
463
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:06,580
Huh.
464
00:14:06,581 --> 00:14:07,914
There isn't a single crack.
465
00:14:07,915 --> 00:14:10,583
Highly irregular for concrete from the '50s,
466
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:11,918
wouldn't you say?
467
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:12,985
What are you, a concrete maven?
468
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:14,053
When concrete is poured,
469
00:14:14,054 --> 00:14:16,722
the company often presses
a date stamp into it.
470
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:17,524
A-ha!
471
00:14:17,525 --> 00:14:19,392
1985.
472
00:14:19,393 --> 00:14:20,459
So it is new.
473
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,061
Nice try, floor,
474
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,930
you lying slab of stains!
475
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,798
- [doorbell rings]
- [they all scream]
476
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:28,467
How many kids are in this town?
477
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,069
A demon teen?
478
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,938
You have to be more specific.
479
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,539
That could be any one of them.
480
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:34,341
It had claws
481
00:14:34,342 --> 00:14:36,208
and beady red eyes, and...
482
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,543
And it was me.
483
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,878
Karen?
484
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,746
You're supposed to be over there.
485
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,615
Wait, if you're Karen,
486
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:43,951
then...
487
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:45,818
My name's Kenny.
488
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,954
Two Dr. Armordillos?
489
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:48,755
See, Karen?
490
00:14:48,756 --> 00:14:50,089
I told you he was popular.
491
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,157
Can we get back
492
00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:52,224
to the pimply terrorists
493
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,360
who are trying to destroy my house?
494
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,695
[cell phone rings]
495
00:14:55,696 --> 00:14:57,296
DRPD.
496
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,098
Uh-huh.
497
00:14:58,099 --> 00:14:59,432
Missing child...
498
00:14:59,433 --> 00:15:00,233
Uh-oh.
499
00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:02,635
Dressed like a scaly rat dentist.
500
00:15:02,636 --> 00:15:03,703
He's a doctor.
501
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:04,770
Got it.
502
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:05,838
We'll keep a look-out.
503
00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:07,974
Kenny, this was a test
504
00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,575
to see if you'd trust strangers,
505
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,177
and you failed miserably.
506
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:13,313
Leave the candy and run along.
507
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,715
Oh, look.
508
00:15:15,716 --> 00:15:17,583
His knees can bend.
509
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:18,918
Be that as it may,
510
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:19,986
it's been a good night.
511
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,053
We found a lost kid,
512
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,121
scored some candy,
513
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,256
and prevented more vandalism.
514
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,325
Not so fast.
515
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,794
[Emma] Well, thank god
we have Halloween insurance.
516
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,930
Oh, right...
517
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:32,265
we don't.
518
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,570
[♪♪♪]
519
00:15:37,571 --> 00:15:40,773
That is a lot of toilet paper.
520
00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,108
Two ply.
521
00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:42,909
[tasting]
522
00:15:42,910 --> 00:15:44,243
High-grade stuff.
523
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,845
Davis, take señor rat
524
00:15:45,846 --> 00:15:48,247
and go arrest every teenager in town.
525
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,582
If you arrest the teens,
526
00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,450
you just make them more angry.
527
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,319
Look, the longer we stand here,
528
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:53,854
the more time
529
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:55,721
the rest of the house is exposed.
530
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,392
Everyone, take a side and protect it.
531
00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,128
[walls and floors creaking]
532
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:02,929
[distant thud]
533
00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:05,598
Look, it doesn't take science
534
00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:08,000
to know that Brent's house is being haunted
535
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,869
by the ghosts of the Aberdeens.
536
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:10,936
[Brent] Wrong.
537
00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:12,538
I googled their obituaries.
538
00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:15,474
They died on a Mediterranean cruise.
539
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,542
That's tragic,
540
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,144
but for my purposes here...
541
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:18,945
A-ha!
542
00:16:18,946 --> 00:16:21,347
Then your house is being haunted by...
543
00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:22,948
the Butcher.
544
00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,016
How is he haunting me?
545
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,885
It's the Aberdeens that died,
546
00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:26,952
and it doesn't help
547
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,554
that you keep calling him "The Butcher."
548
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:30,689
He's got a name. It's Murray.
549
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,024
Here we go. I found him.
550
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,359
Murray Butcher.
551
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,693
He moved to Stonewood.
552
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:36,562
Opened Butcher's Butcher Shop.
553
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,697
Okay, that's on the nose.
554
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:39,765
He ran it for 20 years,
555
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:40,567
then retired.
556
00:16:40,568 --> 00:16:41,634
End of story.
557
00:16:41,635 --> 00:16:43,235
And then he died.
558
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,037
Oh.
559
00:16:44,038 --> 00:16:45,906
Three days ago.
560
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,307
How long did you say
561
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:51,510
your house was making weird noises?
562
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,578
I can't remember.
563
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:53,913
You said it was three...
564
00:16:53,914 --> 00:16:56,049
It was three days.
565
00:16:57,651 --> 00:16:58,984
Ouch!
566
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,319
Hey!
567
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,387
Sorry about that.
568
00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:02,721
Thought you were a teen.
569
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,590
Got a little trigger-happy.
570
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:06,459
It's too dark to find rocks to throw.
571
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:07,793
Anything going on here?
572
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:08,595
Nothing.
573
00:17:08,596 --> 00:17:10,196
All is quiet.
574
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:12,064
Almost... too quiet.
575
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:12,866
Nope.
576
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:13,933
Just about the right amount.
577
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:15,534
[Karen, over radio] Davis, are you there?
578
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,336
Roger.
579
00:17:16,337 --> 00:17:18,471
Sorry, Roger, can I talk to Davis?
580
00:17:18,472 --> 00:17:21,140
[cackling] I love that gag.
581
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,208
I hate that gag.
582
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,275
You see anything?
583
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:24,877
I saw something,
584
00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,745
and I caught something.
585
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:28,614
[suspenseful music flourish]
586
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,749
[disembodied shriek]
587
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,084
Okay, so
588
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:35,821
I think that now we can all agree
589
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,757
there is a ghost in Brent's house.
590
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,359
I emphatically disagree.
591
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,161
Brent's right.
592
00:17:41,162 --> 00:17:42,495
It could very well be
593
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:44,897
some other evil, undead entity.
594
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:45,965
We should cover all our bases.
595
00:17:45,966 --> 00:17:48,901
Get some holy water, garlic, wooden stakes.
596
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:49,969
What if it's a werewolf?
597
00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:51,036
Oh, good point.
598
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,371
Lacey, go melt your earrings.
599
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,240
Wanda, go find Brent's bullet-maker.
600
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,041
We don't necessarily
601
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:56,642
have to fight this thing.
602
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,777
We could try reasoning with it.
603
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,913
Brent, where's your Ouija board?
604
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:01,981
It's in the cloakroom
605
00:18:01,982 --> 00:18:03,582
with my crossbow and crystals.
606
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,451
This is no time to make jokes.
607
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,785
The one who makes jokes
608
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:07,853
usually dies first.
609
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,722
I thought it was the virgin.
610
00:18:09,723 --> 00:18:11,590
Any last words, Hank?
611
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,392
Uh...
612
00:18:12,393 --> 00:18:14,527
maybe we could conjure up a bigger ghost
613
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,861
to punch this one out.
614
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,196
Lacey, hop on the Ouija
615
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,797
and dial up Andre The Giant.
616
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,467
Everyone take a breath
and come back to Earth.
617
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,335
We're here to have some fun
618
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:24,670
and watch a movie,
619
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:25,738
so let's do that.
620
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:27,339
Here's one.
621
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,742
"The Basement Butcher of Bog Hollow."
622
00:18:29,743 --> 00:18:31,343
It's very thematic.
623
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:31,878
Can't do it.
624
00:18:31,879 --> 00:18:33,479
- Nope.
- I'm out.
625
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,881
[♪♪♪]
626
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:38,017
Those little bastards egged the house!
627
00:18:38,018 --> 00:18:39,885
Karen, where are the perps?
628
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,754
The perps are right here.
629
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:42,821
Emma's the one
630
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,156
who's been trashing the house.
631
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:46,825
The metal in that costume
has leaked into her brain.
632
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:47,893
It's fiberglass.
633
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,563
Each piece lovingly hand-crafted.
634
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:51,897
I got suspicious
635
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,499
because she always seemed to be missing
636
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:54,567
from the group
637
00:18:54,568 --> 00:18:56,435
when the vandals struck...
638
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,638
[Karen] So, when she
told everyone to spread out,
639
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,774
I kept my eye on her.
640
00:19:01,775 --> 00:19:03,108
I found a button on the costume
641
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:05,778
that helped me go undercover.
642
00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:07,646
[muffled yelp]
643
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,714
[Karen] Sort of.
644
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:12,451
Anyway, that's when I saw Emma throwing eggs
645
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,113
at her own house!
646
00:19:17,791 --> 00:19:19,124
Fine, I admit it.
647
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,993
I would've gotten away with it, too,
648
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,395
if it wasn't for this masked meddler!
649
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:26,065
Usually the one in the mask
gets caught by meddling...
650
00:19:26,066 --> 00:19:27,666
Well, you've all seen Scooby-Doo,
651
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,001
you know how it plays out.
652
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,603
You've been on me all night
653
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:31,937
about not getting insurance,
654
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,073
and then you go and vandalize our own home?
655
00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:34,874
Why?
656
00:19:34,875 --> 00:19:37,810
Because I bought Halloween insurance.
657
00:19:37,811 --> 00:19:39,678
I knew you would be too cheap,
658
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,547
so I bought it myself,
659
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,881
and since we were covered,
660
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,017
I took the opportunity to mess with you
661
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,885
and pretend teens were attacking the house.
662
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,822
So Brent has to clean this up after all?
663
00:19:49,823 --> 00:19:51,156
[chuckling] Well...
664
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,025
let's make it good and messy, then!
665
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,893
[laughing gleefully]
666
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:55,695
H'yah!
667
00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:57,029
[cackling]
668
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,097
[eggs splatting]
669
00:19:58,098 --> 00:19:59,431
[laughing]
670
00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,636
[rowdy cheering]
671
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,770
Bye!
672
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:06,372
Have a terrific evening!
673
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,041
I'll stay here alone
with the crazy killer ghost
674
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:11,177
that I'm not afraid of!
675
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,113
[snarling shriek nearby]
676
00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:15,447
[screaming in terror]
677
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:17,851
Y-you guys, wait!
678
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:21,053
[chittering]
679
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,921
[snarling shriek]
680
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,591
Takes a shocking and keeps on gnawing.
681
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,726
Well, I guess the mystery is solved.
682
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,528
Yep.
683
00:20:28,529 --> 00:20:29,595
The raccoons are possessed
684
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,196
by the ghost of Murray Butcher.
685
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:34,133
I can't believe you're scared of raccoons.
686
00:20:34,134 --> 00:20:36,001
Cute, furry little...
687
00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,069
[snarling shriek]
688
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,671
[all screaming in panic]
689
00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:39,739
[♪♪♪]
690
00:20:41,605 --> 00:20:44,276
[♪♪♪]
691
00:20:44,277 --> 00:20:45,611
What a mess.
692
00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:46,679
Geez, I was right
693
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,547
when I said you were a high-risk case.
694
00:20:48,548 --> 00:20:50,416
You better get busy.
695
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,750
There's lots to clean up.
696
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,619
Yep. We'll get on it right away.
697
00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:54,953
"We'll" get on it?
698
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,089
I always subcontract
the cleaning to teenagers.
699
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,758
Cheap labour, and I pocket the difference.
700
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,428
[grumbling] I hate kids.
701
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,495
Especially our own.
702
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:07,766
[♪♪♪]
703
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,635
♪ I don't know
704
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:12,038
♪ The same things you don't know ♪
705
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:17,376
♪ I don't know
706
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,779
♪ I just... don't know
707
00:21:22,716 --> 00:21:25,117
♪ Ooh...
708
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,719
♪ It's a great big place
709
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,854
♪ Ooh...
710
00:21:28,855 --> 00:21:30,456
♪ Full of nothin' but space
711
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,591
♪ Ooh...
712
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:34,437
♪ And it's my happy place
713
00:21:34,462 --> 00:21:36,597
♪ I don't know ♪
45968
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