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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:58,900 No. 2 00:02:05,174 --> 00:02:06,809 Get your face up! 3 00:02:06,842 --> 00:02:08,042 - Leave her alone, man. - Chad. 4 00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:09,509 Chad! 5 00:02:10,511 --> 00:02:11,646 - Hmm. - No! 6 00:02:11,679 --> 00:02:12,447 Bingo! 7 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,816 No, no, not... 8 00:02:15,450 --> 00:02:16,785 Would somebody help me, please? 9 00:02:16,819 --> 00:02:17,552 Help! 10 00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:18,954 Help, help, help, please! 11 00:02:20,122 --> 00:02:21,957 - Please! - Dude took Summer. 12 00:02:21,991 --> 00:02:23,424 Oh, that's a shame, man. 13 00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:24,668 I mean she wasn't really gonna fuck you anyway. 14 00:02:24,692 --> 00:02:25,327 Wait! 15 00:02:25,361 --> 00:02:26,328 We... we gotta do something! 16 00:02:26,362 --> 00:02:27,739 - Do what? Man has a fucking gun! - I can't sit... 17 00:02:27,763 --> 00:02:29,765 That is a weapon, he will kill us. 18 00:02:29,798 --> 00:02:31,609 - Do you want to die, Neil? - No, I don't want to die. 19 00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,111 Do you want to die a virgin, Neil? I don't. 20 00:02:33,135 --> 00:02:34,980 I mean, I'm not saying I'm a virgin, I'm just saying... 21 00:02:35,004 --> 00:02:36,081 Okay, look, I've got to do something. 22 00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:38,173 But, like, Summer doesn't even know you exist, man. 23 00:02:38,207 --> 00:02:39,574 - Don't be a hero. - No. 24 00:02:40,742 --> 00:02:41,742 No, no. 25 00:02:43,611 --> 00:02:44,611 Shit! 26 00:02:49,484 --> 00:02:51,186 Rest in peace, Mr. Lincoln. 27 00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:53,721 You're a kind man and a damn good bus driver. 28 00:03:00,996 --> 00:03:02,236 You just drive over Mr. Lincoln? 29 00:03:02,264 --> 00:03:04,465 Ah, there's a chance, yeah. 30 00:03:07,803 --> 00:03:09,805 Alright, quick, grab me some Coke and some Mentos. 31 00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:10,672 What the fuck? 32 00:03:10,705 --> 00:03:11,273 Where am I supposed to get that from? 33 00:03:11,307 --> 00:03:13,142 I don't know, just do it! 34 00:03:13,175 --> 00:03:14,442 Shit! 35 00:03:16,577 --> 00:03:17,012 Here. 36 00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:18,046 Nice! 37 00:03:20,115 --> 00:03:21,216 Shit! 38 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:22,217 Alright, grab the wheel, grab the wheel! 39 00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:23,795 Fuck, no! I'm not grabbing the fucking wheel! 40 00:03:23,819 --> 00:03:24,585 Yeah, you're gonna grab the wheel. 41 00:03:24,619 --> 00:03:25,921 I need to get closer to the van. 42 00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,192 Get me closer. 43 00:03:30,225 --> 00:03:31,794 I'm going! 44 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:35,831 Out of the way! 45 00:03:41,904 --> 00:03:43,238 Oh, fuck! 46 00:03:59,288 --> 00:04:00,255 Oh, fuck! 47 00:04:00,289 --> 00:04:01,056 What the fuck, Neil! 48 00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:02,090 Are you fucking crazy? 49 00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:08,595 Fuck! 50 00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:20,208 Fuck! 51 00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:23,111 Shit! 52 00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:40,429 Please be okay. 53 00:04:40,462 --> 00:04:42,942 I just don't have time to look for a new best friend right now. 54 00:04:53,842 --> 00:04:54,810 You're a hero! 55 00:04:54,843 --> 00:04:57,179 Yeah, that's my best mother fuckin' friend! 56 00:04:57,212 --> 00:04:58,280 Way to go, bro! 57 00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:01,283 You're the man, Neil! 58 00:05:01,316 --> 00:05:03,718 You saved me, Neil. 59 00:05:03,752 --> 00:05:05,054 You know my name. 60 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:06,121 Of course, I do. 61 00:05:07,289 --> 00:05:10,092 I've had my eye on you for a while. 62 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:12,593 You give me butterflies. 63 00:05:12,627 --> 00:05:14,029 - Really? - Yeah. 64 00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,596 - Me? - You. 65 00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,336 Now kiss me... 66 00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:24,139 and... 67 00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:26,041 and simultaneously finger me. 68 00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:28,343 Your wish is my command. 69 00:05:29,812 --> 00:05:30,846 Perfect! 70 00:05:50,065 --> 00:05:51,233 Can you please fucking knock? 71 00:05:51,266 --> 00:05:51,967 Jesus! 72 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,835 Relax needle dick. 73 00:05:52,868 --> 00:05:54,145 I just need to borrow your charger. 74 00:05:54,169 --> 00:05:56,181 No, you're not gonna borrow it, you're gonna fucking steal it. 75 00:05:56,205 --> 00:05:56,972 Virgin! 76 00:05:57,005 --> 00:05:58,974 Can you... you just... 77 00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:01,210 Mom, can I please get my own bathroom? 78 00:06:01,243 --> 00:06:04,079 It's like Neil's fucking cum cave in there. 79 00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,814 First day of school, are we all excited? 80 00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:07,349 Yeah, extremely. 81 00:06:07,382 --> 00:06:10,752 Dad, can you please fix the lock on the bathroom? 82 00:06:10,786 --> 00:06:13,222 And Mom, Jaclyn keeps losing her chargers and stealing mine. 83 00:06:13,255 --> 00:06:15,357 I will get the door fixed today, I hope. 84 00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:16,390 Yeah. 85 00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:19,370 Oh, Mom, I'm spending the night at Madison's tonight. 86 00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:21,439 Oh, yeah, can you rephrase that as a question, please? 87 00:06:21,463 --> 00:06:22,865 And we don't eat this as a... 88 00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:26,235 May I please sleep over at Madison's? 89 00:06:26,268 --> 00:06:27,668 You may. 90 00:06:29,838 --> 00:06:31,140 Excuse me? 91 00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:31,974 Breakfast is served. 92 00:06:32,007 --> 00:06:33,108 Here we go, come on. 93 00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,843 Wait. 94 00:06:34,877 --> 00:06:36,245 Waffles again? 95 00:06:36,278 --> 00:06:38,847 Oh, man, I've got cacao banana and saffron blueberry. 96 00:06:38,881 --> 00:06:39,714 I'm good, Dad. 97 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:40,349 - Dad, I'm good. - Oh, they're tasty. 98 00:06:40,382 --> 00:06:41,550 Dad, Daddy, I'm good, too. 99 00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:42,251 - I don't want waffles again. - No, no, no, nobody's good. 100 00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:44,719 We're gonna sit down together 101 00:06:44,753 --> 00:06:46,231 and eat your father's delicious breakfast as a family. 102 00:06:46,255 --> 00:06:47,322 Let's go. 103 00:06:47,356 --> 00:06:50,025 I mean even if it's only for five second, 104 00:06:50,058 --> 00:06:50,893 that's what we're doing. Understand? 105 00:06:50,926 --> 00:06:52,027 - Okay, Mom. - Yes. 106 00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:52,861 - Alright, alright. - Okay, good. 107 00:06:52,895 --> 00:06:54,062 Yes. 108 00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:55,964 - Here you go, dear. - Thank you. 109 00:07:04,806 --> 00:07:05,774 You know this is really nice... 110 00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:06,341 I gotta go. 111 00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:07,176 I really gotta go. 112 00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,076 I'm sorry, I'm gonna miss the bus. 113 00:07:08,110 --> 00:07:09,044 Do you remember where you put my bike? 114 00:07:09,077 --> 00:07:11,113 - I stuck it in the garage... - Thank you, Dad. 115 00:07:11,146 --> 00:07:12,257 - Okay, thank you, - Love you, Mom. 116 00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:13,801 - Okay, love you guys! - Love you, too. 117 00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:16,484 I have five seconds. 118 00:07:17,953 --> 00:07:19,087 Wait! 119 00:07:20,522 --> 00:07:22,357 You can find me, come on. 120 00:07:27,329 --> 00:07:27,930 Morning, Neil! 121 00:07:27,963 --> 00:07:29,431 Still riding the bus, huh? 122 00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:31,366 Yeah, keeping you employed, Mr. Lincoln. 123 00:07:34,303 --> 00:07:37,139 Looks good, can I have some? 124 00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:39,007 Um, alright. 125 00:07:40,175 --> 00:07:41,176 I guess. 126 00:07:59,328 --> 00:08:00,329 Hey! 127 00:08:17,045 --> 00:08:19,047 Thank you. Bye, sweetie. 128 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:19,982 Oh, my God. 129 00:08:20,015 --> 00:08:21,283 It's gonna be amazing. 130 00:08:21,316 --> 00:08:22,651 I know. 131 00:08:27,155 --> 00:08:29,558 Remember it is your senior year, 132 00:08:29,591 --> 00:08:33,295 so we are helping raise money for the Shape-A-Wish Foundation. 133 00:08:33,328 --> 00:08:36,531 Please speak to me if you would like to make a contribution 134 00:08:36,565 --> 00:08:38,734 or raise your hand if you have any questions. 135 00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:43,972 Love the enthusiasm. 136 00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,407 Just a dying child. 137 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,844 I'd say one thing I'd wish for is for high school 138 00:08:48,877 --> 00:08:51,013 to finally be over. 139 00:08:51,046 --> 00:08:53,548 Yeah, you should make the wish at eleven-eleven, 140 00:08:53,582 --> 00:08:55,284 save us all from this misery. 141 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,352 Ionic bonds are the kind of bond, 142 00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:58,496 the kind of chemical bond... 143 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,089 Why would I waste my time doing that? 144 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,124 Why not? 145 00:09:02,157 --> 00:09:04,226 I know this kid in, uh, Cambodia. 146 00:09:04,259 --> 00:09:05,303 He actually wished for his village to have 147 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,828 clean drinking water. 148 00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:07,863 It came true. 149 00:09:09,498 --> 00:09:11,867 So if anyone makes a wish at eleven-eleven, 150 00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,502 it just comes true... 151 00:09:13,535 --> 00:09:15,046 What the hell are we all still doing here? 152 00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:18,273 Well, maybe some of us are here to learn, Neil. 153 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,941 Are you getting something from this? 154 00:09:19,975 --> 00:09:21,410 Covalent bonds, 155 00:09:21,443 --> 00:09:23,354 you don't have to worry about using your math skills. 156 00:09:23,378 --> 00:09:24,479 There is a catch, though. 157 00:09:24,513 --> 00:09:25,881 What? 158 00:09:25,914 --> 00:09:27,025 The universe has to agree with your wish. 159 00:09:27,049 --> 00:09:28,893 Something that only lasts for about twenty-four hours. 160 00:09:28,917 --> 00:09:31,253 Everything resets the very next night at eleven-eleven. 161 00:09:31,286 --> 00:09:33,922 Complex acids are the ones you want to stay away from. 162 00:09:33,955 --> 00:09:36,325 Those are the ones that are going to burn your face off. 163 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,059 Look it up, man. 164 00:09:37,092 --> 00:09:38,093 Google don't lie. 165 00:09:38,126 --> 00:09:39,126 Binary acid... 166 00:09:40,395 --> 00:09:41,430 Sorry I'm late. 167 00:09:41,463 --> 00:09:42,331 Thank you, Summer. 168 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,465 Back there, please. 169 00:09:43,498 --> 00:09:45,434 Combined together, 170 00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:49,304 they are dangerous and they smell really bad. 171 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,649 So you guys are both invited to my birthday party tomorrow. 172 00:09:51,673 --> 00:09:53,275 - Awesome, you look nice. - Thanks. 173 00:09:55,243 --> 00:09:57,913 On page 340, we'll be looking at the evolution... 174 00:10:05,987 --> 00:10:07,556 - 'Sup, guys. - What's up? 175 00:10:07,589 --> 00:10:09,424 Yo. 176 00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,669 So did you hear your girl Summer is having a party this weekend? 177 00:10:11,693 --> 00:10:13,895 - Everyone's talking about it. - Mm-hmm. 178 00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:14,929 Hey, Madison. 179 00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:17,332 - Hi. - How you doing? 180 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:21,069 I might have heard something about that, yeah. 181 00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,337 So are you gonna go? 182 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,473 Not invited... yet. 183 00:10:24,506 --> 00:10:25,507 Yeah. 184 00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:27,576 Why don't you just ask, 185 00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:30,078 because I did and I got a pineapple. 186 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,647 I'll think about it. 187 00:10:32,681 --> 00:10:34,516 Neil, she might actually like you. 188 00:10:34,549 --> 00:10:35,517 But how would you know? 189 00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:37,195 You've literally never talked to her before 190 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:40,021 or made any contact whatsoever. 191 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,190 What's the worst you think could happen? 192 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,035 That's actually really good advice. 193 00:10:44,059 --> 00:10:45,394 I'm gonna take your advice. 194 00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:48,029 Maddy, would you like to my girl for cuffing season? 195 00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:49,197 You wish. 196 00:10:49,698 --> 00:10:50,465 Yeah, she wants me. 197 00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:51,733 Oh, my God. 198 00:10:51,768 --> 00:10:54,603 You know I hate to agree with Jaclyn, but she's right, man. 199 00:10:54,636 --> 00:10:55,971 Just do it. 200 00:10:56,004 --> 00:10:57,148 I'm serious, just go over there and ask. 201 00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:58,073 Let's just try it, me and you. 202 00:10:58,106 --> 00:10:59,574 We've got this. 203 00:10:59,608 --> 00:11:00,952 No, I'm not gonna go over there and ask her for anything. 204 00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:01,543 Come on, man. 205 00:11:01,576 --> 00:11:02,677 I'm... I'm dead serious. 206 00:11:02,711 --> 00:11:04,212 Come on, come on, Neil. 207 00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:05,623 Come on, come on, you've got to take the risk. 208 00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:07,182 No, dude, what am I gonna say to her? 209 00:11:07,215 --> 00:11:07,850 Neil, you're over thinking it. 210 00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,217 Just breathe, just breathe. 211 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,952 I can't, I have nothing to say. 212 00:11:10,986 --> 00:11:11,520 I think I... 213 00:11:11,553 --> 00:11:12,587 Uh, hey, Summer. 214 00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:14,222 Yes. 215 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:16,234 Uh, my friend Neil would like to ask you a question. 216 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,359 Okay. 217 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,096 Um, I... I was just gonna say... 218 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,764 Oh, my... 219 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,566 So, Ava, do you want to be my girl for cuffing season? 220 00:11:51,526 --> 00:11:53,261 I don't want to see anyone right now. 221 00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,465 Yeah, I know, but Gilbert's here. 222 00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,543 Great, I said I don't want to see anyone right now... 223 00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:01,169 Too bad now, I'm already here. 224 00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:02,170 See ya later, guys. 225 00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:03,538 Looking good, Mrs. Tobbler. 226 00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:04,706 I don't feel like dancing. 227 00:12:11,079 --> 00:12:13,081 That's right, good dance! 228 00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:14,115 I can't do it, man. 229 00:12:14,149 --> 00:12:15,517 I can't go back to school. 230 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,285 And left. 231 00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,496 I need to go in like the witness protection program or something 232 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,187 and get a new identify. 233 00:12:19,221 --> 00:12:20,655 I can't... I can't handle it. 234 00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,023 You've got this. 235 00:12:22,057 --> 00:12:23,625 Well look, as your real friend, 236 00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:25,126 quite frankly, your only friend. 237 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,027 You're not my only friend. 238 00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:26,595 Alright now. 239 00:12:26,628 --> 00:12:27,763 Who's your other friend? 240 00:12:27,797 --> 00:12:29,097 Uh, Brad. 241 00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:30,800 - Brad from preschool? - Yeah. 242 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,201 Yeah, cool, so as your only friend I'm always gonna keep it 243 00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:34,402 a hundred, man. 244 00:12:34,436 --> 00:12:36,113 I'm not gonna act like today wasn't actually rock bottom, 245 00:12:36,137 --> 00:12:37,672 which it was. 246 00:12:37,706 --> 00:12:39,217 I mean, I'm actually here on suicide watch. 247 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:40,685 I don't want to see you hang yourself with some 248 00:12:40,709 --> 00:12:42,453 plastic bag from the ceiling fan or some shit. 249 00:12:42,477 --> 00:12:43,554 I've seen that shit on YouTube. 250 00:12:43,578 --> 00:12:44,513 That shit ain't pretty. 251 00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,047 Appreciate it. 252 00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:47,425 You're... you're really helping me to feel better. 253 00:12:47,449 --> 00:12:50,085 What's the one thing we learned from eighteen "Rocky" movies? 254 00:12:50,118 --> 00:12:53,221 Um, Rocky never threw up on his dream girl? 255 00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:54,523 No. 256 00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,391 It's not about how hard you get hit. 257 00:12:56,424 --> 00:12:58,193 It's about how quick you get back up. 258 00:12:58,226 --> 00:13:00,796 And move, and move. 259 00:13:01,663 --> 00:13:03,198 You are excellent! 260 00:13:03,231 --> 00:13:05,367 This is too hard a hit to come back from, man. 261 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,778 I'm never gonna get invited to a party now. 262 00:13:06,802 --> 00:13:08,603 No. 263 00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:10,414 I'm not gonna get invited anywhere near her ever again 264 00:13:10,438 --> 00:13:11,106 most likely, like ever. 265 00:13:11,139 --> 00:13:12,741 Ever's a long time. Not ever. 266 00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:13,675 No, like for eternity, like ever. 267 00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:15,076 Come on, man, no. 268 00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:16,678 No, like the afterlife and thereafter. 269 00:13:16,711 --> 00:13:17,512 - No. - Yeah. 270 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:18,680 - No. - Yeah. 271 00:13:18,713 --> 00:13:19,514 Come on, team! 272 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:20,215 No! 273 00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:20,917 That's what I'm saying, yeah. 274 00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,317 It can't be that bad, man. No. 275 00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:23,084 Yes, it's that bad. 276 00:13:23,118 --> 00:13:24,286 - Yes. - No. 277 00:13:24,319 --> 00:13:25,086 - Yeah. - No. 278 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:25,554 - Yeah. - No. 279 00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:26,221 - Yeah. - No. 280 00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:26,655 - Yeah. - No. 281 00:13:26,688 --> 00:13:27,522 - Yeah. - No. 282 00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:28,566 - Yes. - Yeah, you're probably right. 283 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:29,558 You guys should ache. 284 00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,591 It's bad. 285 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:39,167 Every time I see my neighbour, he's in a different Porsche 286 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,870 with a different woman. 287 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,737 That is a lot of ass for one man. 288 00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:44,806 Damn. 289 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,744 I just can't compete with guys like Chad and Matt. 290 00:13:51,814 --> 00:13:53,181 We have different market shares. 291 00:13:53,214 --> 00:13:55,483 They... they get hot girls 292 00:13:55,517 --> 00:13:59,254 and I get passwords to Premium Pornhub. 293 00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:01,327 What you need to do is you need to stop being stingy 294 00:14:01,356 --> 00:14:03,291 and pass us some Pornhub, because I want to watch 295 00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:04,326 Premium porn, too. 296 00:14:04,359 --> 00:14:06,728 That's so surprising. 297 00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:21,109 I just wish someone thought I was cool. 298 00:14:29,384 --> 00:14:31,854 Did you ever think your life would be... would be different 299 00:14:31,887 --> 00:14:34,556 if you were... 300 00:14:34,589 --> 00:14:37,459 Bill Gates' or Steve Jobs' son, 301 00:14:37,492 --> 00:14:39,594 like, someone that mattered in the universe or... 302 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:40,930 or actually did cool shit. 303 00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:41,831 Th... that's your problem. 304 00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:43,766 It's not always about the money, Neil. 305 00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:47,770 Although, 306 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,772 if we're talking about it, 307 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,506 I would like to be Elon Musk's son. 308 00:14:51,539 --> 00:14:52,942 That's what I'm saying. 309 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,552 I'd even suck your dick if it meant I could be his son. 310 00:14:54,576 --> 00:14:56,211 Like that's my level of commitment, man. 311 00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:57,847 So you think there is an actual scenario 312 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,783 where you sucking my dick will lead to Elon Musk 313 00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,484 being your father? 314 00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:03,385 I don't know, man. 315 00:15:03,418 --> 00:15:05,520 The universe works in mysterious ways. 316 00:15:05,553 --> 00:15:07,498 Never underestimate the power of a good dick suck. 317 00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:09,400 I think we both spent most of our lives thinking about 318 00:15:09,424 --> 00:15:11,559 the power of a good dick suck. 319 00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:13,395 You mean like giving one? 320 00:15:13,428 --> 00:15:15,230 'Cause that's not what I'm talking about. 321 00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:16,498 See it's not the same thing. 322 00:15:16,531 --> 00:15:18,500 See I don't think we're on the same page. 323 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:21,469 No, I don't think I would know how to give one, honestly. 324 00:15:24,372 --> 00:15:26,241 My dentist says I gag too easily, anyway. 325 00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:30,813 Can I be honest with you, man? 326 00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:33,916 What's that? 327 00:15:33,949 --> 00:15:36,518 Summer and I would be lucky to suck your dick. 328 00:15:38,286 --> 00:15:39,688 I mean it. 329 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,489 Thank you. 330 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,725 If it were up to me, I would knight you, 331 00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:45,226 and then suck your dick. 332 00:15:46,494 --> 00:15:48,530 You know what? 333 00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:50,432 I was thinking that we'd go to this really nice 334 00:15:50,465 --> 00:15:51,366 fast food restaurant. 335 00:15:51,399 --> 00:15:52,902 - Good night. - Good night. 336 00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:54,235 You know how I like seafoods. 337 00:16:24,432 --> 00:16:26,902 Today was kind of a rough day, 338 00:16:26,936 --> 00:16:29,537 but hopefully tomorrow will be better. 339 00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,687 Neil, wake up! 340 00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:22,958 Neil, you're gonna be late for school! 341 00:17:25,861 --> 00:17:26,861 Neil! 342 00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,611 Yeah, you have something like truffles and fish 343 00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,970 Hmm. 344 00:17:35,004 --> 00:17:36,939 - Uh, see ya kid. - Have a great day! 345 00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:37,973 Wait! 346 00:17:38,007 --> 00:17:38,941 Wait! 347 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,976 Wait! 348 00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:42,278 Wait! 349 00:17:54,522 --> 00:17:58,093 Frienemies, who, when you're down, ain't your friend 350 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,396 Dude, I barely slept last night. 351 00:18:01,429 --> 00:18:03,531 I feel like a dumb ass moron piece of shit loser 352 00:18:03,565 --> 00:18:04,800 who should just off himself. 353 00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:07,937 Cool story, bro. 354 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,873 Gilbert, where you going? 355 00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:15,576 What the fuck? 356 00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:37,732 Fuck! 357 00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:12,801 Sweet baby Jesus! 358 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:18,874 Mm. 359 00:19:25,848 --> 00:19:27,082 Okay. 360 00:19:30,886 --> 00:19:32,620 - Hey, Neil. - Hey, man. 361 00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:33,654 Hey. 362 00:19:34,156 --> 00:19:35,224 How are you? 363 00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,424 Hello. 364 00:19:37,659 --> 00:19:38,559 Hey, how's it going? 365 00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:39,929 Hey, man. 366 00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:41,529 What's up, guys? 367 00:19:41,562 --> 00:19:43,065 - Yo man. - Hi. 368 00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,199 Hello. 369 00:19:46,035 --> 00:19:47,870 Gilbert, 370 00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:48,871 you're never gonna believe this, 371 00:19:48,904 --> 00:19:50,538 'cause it's fucking crazy, 372 00:19:50,571 --> 00:19:52,908 but I'm Neil. 373 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,144 Yeah, and I'm fucking Chris Rock, man. 374 00:19:55,177 --> 00:19:56,979 Now dude, I'm serious, I'm Neil. 375 00:19:57,012 --> 00:19:59,014 And I'm for real I'm Biggie Smalls. 376 00:19:59,048 --> 00:20:00,015 I'm not fuckin' around, Gilbert. 377 00:20:00,049 --> 00:20:01,616 I'm Neil. 378 00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:03,560 Yeah, I'm fuckin' James Brown back from the dead. 379 00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:04,744 Get the fuck outta here, man. 380 00:20:07,522 --> 00:20:10,092 I would like to knight you and then suck your dick. 381 00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:18,633 It will be my honour. 382 00:20:25,007 --> 00:20:26,985 Go ahead, ask me any question that only Neil would know 383 00:20:27,009 --> 00:20:28,010 the answer to. 384 00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:28,877 Yeah, but it wouldn't even matter... 385 00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:30,255 - 'cause you don't know shit. - I do. 386 00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:31,289 You're not gonna know any of these fuckin' answers, man. 387 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,114 - I know everything about you. - Alright, fine. 388 00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,149 What's the all time beat off record? 389 00:20:34,183 --> 00:20:35,250 Eleven and a half times. 390 00:20:37,685 --> 00:20:38,754 Lucky guess. 391 00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:41,689 My first crush. 392 00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:42,858 Sadly, it's my mom. 393 00:20:42,891 --> 00:20:43,725 Yeah, it... it's wrong, 394 00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:44,827 because it's Neil's mom. 395 00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:45,794 That's my mom. 396 00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:46,395 Neil's mom actually wants to have a threesome 397 00:20:46,428 --> 00:20:46,962 with me and Neil's dad. 398 00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,696 Next fucking question. 399 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,910 If I were to make a rap group, what would be the name of it? 400 00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:53,235 The Beverly Gil Billies. 401 00:20:53,268 --> 00:20:54,702 Name my solo artist. 402 00:20:54,736 --> 00:20:56,071 G-String Fully Unloaded. 403 00:20:56,105 --> 00:20:58,307 My favourite country to travel to. 404 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,042 The Italian section of Pornhub. 405 00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:01,576 Who did I lose my virginity to? 406 00:21:03,045 --> 00:21:03,946 Neil can draw. 407 00:21:03,979 --> 00:21:05,280 Okay. 408 00:21:05,314 --> 00:21:06,623 He-he's basically like Picachio or some shit. 409 00:21:06,647 --> 00:21:07,850 Yeah, it's true, Picasso, so. 410 00:21:07,883 --> 00:21:09,018 Whatever, whatever. 411 00:21:09,051 --> 00:21:10,052 Draw me. 412 00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:11,053 What do you mean, draw you? 413 00:21:11,086 --> 00:21:12,653 Prove to me that you're Neil. 414 00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:13,999 Draw me like Jack and I'll be your Rose. 415 00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,734 - What, like in Titanic? - Yeah, like Titanic. 416 00:21:15,758 --> 00:21:17,168 - You've never seen Titanic. - It doesn't matter. 417 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:17,725 I've seen her titties. 418 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,726 That's all that matters. 419 00:21:18,761 --> 00:21:19,904 Okay, so you want me to paint your titties. 420 00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:21,638 - Want me to draw your titties? - If that's what it takes. 421 00:21:21,662 --> 00:21:22,730 Gilbert! 422 00:21:24,632 --> 00:21:26,935 Have you seen Neil today? 423 00:21:26,969 --> 00:21:28,137 He didn't show up at school. 424 00:21:30,605 --> 00:21:32,007 Who the fuck are you, petterass? 425 00:21:34,943 --> 00:21:36,779 This is really fuckin' weird. 426 00:21:36,812 --> 00:21:38,147 Um, don't be jealous. 427 00:21:38,180 --> 00:21:39,815 You can be next if you want to be. 428 00:21:39,848 --> 00:21:41,192 - I am not jealous. - You just gotta ask. 429 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:42,885 Get up. 430 00:21:42,918 --> 00:21:44,029 - What the fuck are you doing? - Leave me the fuck alone. 431 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,864 You're fuckin' letting a complete stranger draw you. 432 00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:46,888 What... 433 00:21:52,761 --> 00:21:54,201 I mean it's like looking in a mirror. 434 00:21:55,696 --> 00:21:57,342 Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, 435 00:21:57,366 --> 00:21:58,300 'cause that looks nothing like you. 436 00:21:58,333 --> 00:21:59,710 Why... why can't you just appreciate good art? 437 00:21:59,734 --> 00:22:00,635 Like what... what is your problem? 438 00:22:00,668 --> 00:22:02,805 Wait, wait, we can compare the drawings. 439 00:22:02,838 --> 00:22:03,982 Com... compare the drawings with... 440 00:22:04,006 --> 00:22:05,174 Yeah. 441 00:22:05,207 --> 00:22:06,251 Do you think you're on CSI or some shit? 442 00:22:06,275 --> 00:22:07,943 What the fuck is wrong with you? 443 00:22:07,976 --> 00:22:09,354 No, do you think that you look like a drawing or some shit? 444 00:22:09,378 --> 00:22:10,245 Um, I sure do. 445 00:22:10,279 --> 00:22:11,679 Um... 446 00:22:11,712 --> 00:22:12,381 We're not... we're not looking in my iPad. 447 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,425 It's just a quick scan, alright? 448 00:22:13,449 --> 00:22:14,283 - It's my brother's iPad. - Final test, I promise. 449 00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:15,427 You know I'm sensitive about my work. 450 00:22:15,451 --> 00:22:18,353 It's my brother's iPad, so I can look at it if I want. 451 00:22:18,387 --> 00:22:19,088 It's my iPad. 452 00:22:19,121 --> 00:22:20,022 Why do you...- Seriously, get... 453 00:22:20,055 --> 00:22:21,356 Oh... 454 00:22:21,390 --> 00:22:23,268 - You're not touching my iPad. - Stranger Danger! 455 00:22:23,292 --> 00:22:24,126 God! 456 00:22:24,159 --> 00:22:25,961 Fuck! 457 00:22:25,994 --> 00:22:27,196 Fine, quick scan only. 458 00:22:27,229 --> 00:22:28,297 Yep. 459 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:30,365 - That is what I plan to do. - Jesus! 460 00:22:34,735 --> 00:22:36,071 Oh, wow, who is that? 461 00:22:37,973 --> 00:22:39,942 "The water is so nice and hot." 462 00:22:41,076 --> 00:22:42,643 - "So is my pussy." - "So is my pussy." 463 00:22:42,677 --> 00:22:43,677 Wow. 464 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,949 "Take this Game of thrones!" 465 00:22:47,850 --> 00:22:50,319 "And after I want game of bones." 466 00:22:51,053 --> 00:22:52,053 The fuck? 467 00:22:53,188 --> 00:22:55,390 "I'm coming for your planet, hero!" 468 00:22:55,424 --> 00:22:57,692 "I'm gonna own your face dickhead." 469 00:22:57,725 --> 00:23:00,195 "Hope your dickhead owns my face, Neil." 470 00:23:00,229 --> 00:23:01,230 Creative. 471 00:23:01,729 --> 00:23:03,449 - "Be careful with my pussy." - That's cute. 472 00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:07,369 Doesn't that kind of look like... 473 00:23:07,402 --> 00:23:08,937 Fuck, it does. 474 00:23:12,941 --> 00:23:14,143 Do you believe me? 475 00:23:14,176 --> 00:23:15,844 Are we on the same page? 476 00:23:15,878 --> 00:23:17,179 Can you help me out? 477 00:23:17,946 --> 00:23:19,858 Alright, just making an Insta profile for you, man. 478 00:23:19,882 --> 00:23:21,759 We've got to keep striking while the iron is hot. 479 00:23:21,783 --> 00:23:22,827 What's your cool new name for social purposes? 480 00:23:22,851 --> 00:23:23,986 Don't say Neil. 481 00:23:24,019 --> 00:23:25,053 What's wrong with Neil? 482 00:23:25,087 --> 00:23:26,755 Well, it's nerdy. 483 00:23:26,788 --> 00:23:27,966 You know, it doesn't really fit with the image right now. 484 00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:28,891 No, it does not. 485 00:23:28,924 --> 00:23:30,034 Give me a name, I need a name. 486 00:23:30,058 --> 00:23:30,826 - Greg. - No. 487 00:23:30,859 --> 00:23:31,426 - Vincent. - No. 488 00:23:31,460 --> 00:23:32,261 - Arnold. - No. 489 00:23:32,294 --> 00:23:32,995 - Hernandez. - No. 490 00:23:33,028 --> 00:23:33,562 - Fred. - No. 491 00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:35,264 - You're Ace. - Ace. 492 00:23:35,297 --> 00:23:36,398 No, Ace is terrible. 493 00:23:36,431 --> 00:23:37,166 No, no it's not. 494 00:23:37,199 --> 00:23:39,301 Like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. 495 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,701 The greatest film of all time. 496 00:23:40,735 --> 00:23:41,937 What are you talking about? 497 00:23:41,970 --> 00:23:44,039 Listen, I'll cover for you with Mom and Dad 498 00:23:44,072 --> 00:23:45,783 until we figure out whatever the fuck is happening 499 00:23:45,807 --> 00:23:47,409 to your body. 500 00:23:47,442 --> 00:23:50,112 Well, my future girl, Ava, has a gig at the Rusty Records 501 00:23:50,145 --> 00:23:50,979 in an hour. 502 00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:51,813 Yeah. 503 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,048 Stalker. 504 00:23:53,549 --> 00:23:55,450 Well, Summer will probably be there, too. 505 00:23:55,484 --> 00:23:56,251 Really? 506 00:23:56,285 --> 00:23:57,486 Mm, yeah come on, 507 00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:58,563 we've got to get you some new clothes, 508 00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:00,721 because right now you're a ten in two's clothing. 509 00:24:00,756 --> 00:24:02,457 Who do you think you are, Anna Wintour? 510 00:24:02,491 --> 00:24:03,491 Who the fuck is that? 511 00:24:07,062 --> 00:24:09,140 Yo, yo, this is your boy Gilbert and I'm here to introduce 512 00:24:09,164 --> 00:24:11,466 my new best friend, Ace, the actor, the model, 513 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,501 the artist. 514 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,469 Yo, Ace tell the people about it. 515 00:24:14,503 --> 00:24:16,004 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 516 00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,949 Me... me and Gilbert, we've been best friends since 517 00:24:17,973 --> 00:24:19,474 forever and... 518 00:24:19,508 --> 00:24:21,043 Yeah, so what did you even wish for? 519 00:24:23,478 --> 00:24:25,280 Second chance with Summer. 520 00:24:25,314 --> 00:24:26,949 Second chance? 521 00:24:26,982 --> 00:24:29,251 Well, what kind of soft basic shit is that? 522 00:24:29,284 --> 00:24:31,920 You guys could help yourself to some gum or water or Binaca. 523 00:24:33,355 --> 00:24:34,456 Are you famous, by the way? 524 00:24:34,489 --> 00:24:36,124 No, man. No, I'm not. 525 00:24:36,158 --> 00:24:37,125 Yeah, yeah, I'm not talking to you, pal. 526 00:24:37,159 --> 00:24:39,161 You have the face of someone who's not famous. 527 00:24:39,194 --> 00:24:40,505 I'm talking to your hot friend over there, 528 00:24:40,529 --> 00:24:42,798 that white, steamy cream puff next to you. 529 00:24:42,831 --> 00:24:44,333 No, me? No, no. 530 00:24:44,366 --> 00:24:45,234 No, I'm not famous. 531 00:24:45,267 --> 00:24:46,535 Well, you could be. 532 00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:47,436 I'm not gay, but my girlfriend and I are looking 533 00:24:47,469 --> 00:24:48,470 for a third, so. 534 00:24:48,503 --> 00:24:49,771 Face like that... 535 00:24:50,505 --> 00:24:51,406 booty! 536 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,809 What so, I... I don't have that look, bro? 537 00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:55,510 Yeah, you have a face, but it's like a, 538 00:24:55,544 --> 00:24:57,379 like a moon pie. 539 00:24:57,412 --> 00:24:59,852 - Now he's calling you slow. - Is he paid to be disrespectful? 540 00:25:02,184 --> 00:25:03,952 Are you two being helped? 541 00:25:03,986 --> 00:25:06,197 Uh, no, no, we're just... we're just browsing for right now 542 00:25:06,221 --> 00:25:08,357 looking for some cool tees, maybe some ripped jeans. 543 00:25:08,390 --> 00:25:10,292 Nice, nice. 544 00:25:10,325 --> 00:25:12,027 Need help being styled? 545 00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:14,129 Uh, yeah, yeah, that'd great. 546 00:25:14,162 --> 00:25:15,273 I'm... I'm super new to all this. 547 00:25:15,297 --> 00:25:17,141 Yeah? What did you just start modeling or something? 548 00:25:17,165 --> 00:25:19,001 - Uh, yeah. - Oh. 549 00:25:19,034 --> 00:25:20,111 Yeah, but we're, uh, trying to change this into acting 'cause 550 00:25:20,135 --> 00:25:22,404 our fan base is so up our ass about it, you know. 551 00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:23,205 Yeah, no, I bet. 552 00:25:23,238 --> 00:25:24,238 Um... 553 00:25:24,406 --> 00:25:25,407 I would be, too. 554 00:25:26,174 --> 00:25:27,909 Who you with? 555 00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:30,545 Uh, well, I basically just got offered a hand job from a guy 556 00:25:30,579 --> 00:25:33,057 who sells ball trimmers outside. I wouldn't say I'm "with" him. 557 00:25:33,081 --> 00:25:34,549 Like, I mean, he's cool or whatever, 558 00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:36,227 but I don't really know him like that for him to be, you know, 559 00:25:36,251 --> 00:25:37,251 jerking me off. 560 00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:40,289 Yeah, you're funny, man. 561 00:25:40,322 --> 00:25:43,325 What is this guy, like your agent or something? 562 00:25:43,358 --> 00:25:44,860 Uh, no. 563 00:25:44,893 --> 00:25:47,229 Uh, he actually, no, yeah, yeah, he's my manger. 564 00:25:47,262 --> 00:25:50,532 Um, we're shopping for an agency right now. 565 00:25:50,565 --> 00:25:52,443 You know, doing the whole Hollywood water bottle meet 566 00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:53,135 and greet thing. 567 00:25:53,168 --> 00:25:54,403 Right. 568 00:25:54,436 --> 00:25:55,337 Yeah, you know, it's such a small community. 569 00:25:55,370 --> 00:25:56,481 Yeah, no, no, I know, I know. 570 00:25:56,505 --> 00:25:58,440 I'm part of the community also. 571 00:25:58,473 --> 00:26:01,443 I mean, look at me, you know. 572 00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:05,614 But, uh, hey, you guys know who Victoria V is, though, right? 573 00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:09,051 Yeah, but I mean we basically share a Pilates instructor, man. 574 00:26:09,084 --> 00:26:10,018 Yeah, I love Victoria. 575 00:26:10,052 --> 00:26:11,586 She's a great gal. 576 00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:13,598 Oh, then you probably already know about her very exclusive 577 00:26:13,622 --> 00:26:16,091 party she's having at her place. 578 00:26:16,124 --> 00:26:20,562 Hot models, and, uh, look I hate to sound crass, but it's a fact, 579 00:26:20,595 --> 00:26:23,965 a lot of wild, dirty sex happening. 580 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:26,868 The password to get in, Fuckingham Palace. 581 00:26:26,902 --> 00:26:27,969 Sold. 582 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,971 Sweet! You on Insta? 583 00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,649 I'll tag you on the invite, put you on the guest list, 584 00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:34,443 otherwise, like, a thousand bucks per person to get in. 585 00:26:34,476 --> 00:26:35,653 Yeah, we're... we're actually about to go see 586 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:38,213 my girl real quick, but, uh, if anything, just invite me. 587 00:26:38,246 --> 00:26:39,381 Send me the invite, too. 588 00:26:39,414 --> 00:26:40,625 You know, we'll... we'll meet up with you, 589 00:26:40,649 --> 00:26:42,351 we'll have some fun. 590 00:26:42,384 --> 00:26:43,528 - You know what I'm saying? - You can be his plus one, yeah. 591 00:26:43,552 --> 00:26:45,554 Plus...? Yeah, no, that's cool. Yeah. 592 00:26:51,293 --> 00:26:52,894 Ava, you were amazing. 593 00:26:52,928 --> 00:26:53,628 You killed it. 594 00:26:53,662 --> 00:26:54,096 - Thank you. - Beautiful. 595 00:26:54,129 --> 00:26:55,197 Yeah, for real. 596 00:26:55,230 --> 00:26:56,431 What she said, man. 597 00:26:56,465 --> 00:26:57,508 I'm gonna need some lessons from you one day. 598 00:26:57,532 --> 00:26:59,101 Alright babe, I'll see you... 599 00:26:59,134 --> 00:26:59,769 Fantastic, babe. 600 00:26:59,802 --> 00:27:01,002 - Seriously. - Thank you! 601 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,471 - Good job. - Thanks. 602 00:27:02,504 --> 00:27:04,104 - Oh, you did so good! - Thank you, babe! 603 00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:07,109 Hey, great job. 604 00:27:07,142 --> 00:27:08,986 Some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard. 605 00:27:09,010 --> 00:27:10,545 Thank you. 606 00:27:10,579 --> 00:27:14,383 Oh, yeah, aren't you friends with pukey? 607 00:27:14,416 --> 00:27:16,084 Oh, you mean Neil? 608 00:27:16,118 --> 00:27:17,119 I don't know his name. 609 00:27:17,152 --> 00:27:19,488 Yeah, no one, no one knows that was his name. 610 00:27:19,521 --> 00:27:20,222 Yeah, right? 611 00:27:20,255 --> 00:27:21,289 Guy was a loser. 612 00:27:21,323 --> 00:27:22,591 Good night, thanks. 613 00:27:22,624 --> 00:27:24,960 What's up? I'm, uh, I'm Chad. 614 00:27:24,993 --> 00:27:26,595 Uh, hi. Oh! 615 00:27:26,628 --> 00:27:28,630 I'm... Ace. 616 00:27:28,663 --> 00:27:30,065 Like Ace Ventura. 617 00:27:30,098 --> 00:27:32,234 Oh, yeah. I love that band. 618 00:27:32,267 --> 00:27:34,202 Are you guys, uh, are you friends with this guy? 619 00:27:34,236 --> 00:27:36,705 We're best friend, actually, so you can ease up. 620 00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:38,206 - Wait, excuse me? - What? 621 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,800 - What did you say? - What did you hear? 622 00:27:41,143 --> 00:27:42,143 Alright. 623 00:27:46,481 --> 00:27:47,249 - You ready? - No. 624 00:27:47,282 --> 00:27:48,216 - You ready? - No. 625 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,451 - Good luck. - Good luck. 626 00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:07,169 I'm... A... ss... 627 00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,337 Ass? 628 00:28:09,371 --> 00:28:11,006 Did your parents hate you or something? 629 00:28:11,039 --> 00:28:11,573 No. 630 00:28:11,606 --> 00:28:14,609 Um, sorry, sorry. 631 00:28:14,643 --> 00:28:16,020 I don't know what just happened to my brain. 632 00:28:16,044 --> 00:28:17,312 - Um. - Um. 633 00:28:17,345 --> 00:28:19,414 My name's Ace. 634 00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:20,449 Ace. 635 00:28:20,482 --> 00:28:22,317 Like the movie. 636 00:28:22,350 --> 00:28:23,652 Yeah, like the movie. 637 00:28:23,685 --> 00:28:26,021 Well, I'm Summer, like the season. 638 00:28:26,054 --> 00:28:27,389 Hi. 639 00:28:27,422 --> 00:28:29,262 - Nice to meet you. - Good to meet you, Summer. 640 00:28:29,391 --> 00:28:32,160 You know, Ava, I always thought you were cute, by the way. 641 00:28:32,194 --> 00:28:33,628 Really? Why is that? 642 00:28:33,662 --> 00:28:35,263 Well, are you a good kisser, 643 00:28:35,297 --> 00:28:37,457 because that would definitely make you cute in my book. 644 00:28:37,699 --> 00:28:39,710 Are you guys doing anything after the show or this... 645 00:28:39,734 --> 00:28:41,102 this weekend, or? 646 00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,572 Well, um, it's actually my birthday. 647 00:28:43,605 --> 00:28:47,075 My parents are out of town, so I'm throwing myself a party. 648 00:28:47,108 --> 00:28:47,676 - You? - Happy birthday! 649 00:28:47,709 --> 00:28:48,543 Oh, thanks. 650 00:28:48,577 --> 00:28:51,046 Um, I'm not, I'm not doing anything. 651 00:28:51,079 --> 00:28:51,680 Really? 652 00:28:51,713 --> 00:28:52,782 Nothing in particular, no. 653 00:28:52,815 --> 00:28:54,649 Hmm. 654 00:28:54,683 --> 00:28:56,227 So I was thinking about my favourite sexual positions today. 655 00:28:56,251 --> 00:28:57,319 That's too much. 656 00:28:58,487 --> 00:28:59,530 Sounds like time well spent. 657 00:28:59,554 --> 00:29:01,757 Well, you know, it's all situational for me really. 658 00:29:01,791 --> 00:29:03,525 I mean, do I have all the time in the world 659 00:29:03,558 --> 00:29:05,293 or am I trying to get it after a bad date? 660 00:29:07,062 --> 00:29:08,430 Okay. 661 00:29:08,463 --> 00:29:10,441 If it's a bad date, why are you trying to get it in? 662 00:29:10,465 --> 00:29:12,367 Uh, 'cause my dick never has a bad date. 663 00:29:13,468 --> 00:29:15,203 Well, it was nice to meet you. 664 00:29:15,805 --> 00:29:20,742 Yeah, um, Summer, um, do you by any chance have an extra invite 665 00:29:20,776 --> 00:29:22,711 to your party this weekend? 666 00:29:22,744 --> 00:29:24,212 An invite? 667 00:29:24,246 --> 00:29:25,247 Yeah. 668 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:30,285 Um, you... you seem cool and it would be great 669 00:29:30,318 --> 00:29:32,454 to stop by, right? 670 00:29:32,487 --> 00:29:35,123 Yeah, maybe. Unfortunately, we are at max capacity 671 00:29:35,156 --> 00:29:36,191 for the party. 672 00:29:36,224 --> 00:29:38,426 I could put you on a waiting list. 673 00:29:38,460 --> 00:29:40,629 Yeah, yeah, o... okay. Um, yeah, it's... 674 00:29:40,662 --> 00:29:41,663 I'm fucking with you. 675 00:29:42,430 --> 00:29:44,266 I'm sorry. 676 00:29:44,299 --> 00:29:45,400 I have one left. 677 00:29:49,337 --> 00:29:51,506 Uh, I hope to see you at my party, Ass. 678 00:29:54,109 --> 00:29:55,110 I'm a nice ass. 679 00:30:08,156 --> 00:30:09,324 - I got it! - You got it. 680 00:30:09,357 --> 00:30:10,392 - I got it! - Who got it? 681 00:30:10,425 --> 00:30:11,465 - I got it! - And I got it. 682 00:30:11,493 --> 00:30:12,427 - I got it! - We got it. 683 00:30:12,460 --> 00:30:13,528 - Who got it? - We got it. 684 00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:14,797 - We got it. - Uh-huh! 685 00:30:14,830 --> 00:30:16,541 - Oh, I got the invitation. - Yeah, that's right. 686 00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:17,632 Huh! 687 00:30:17,666 --> 00:30:18,844 - We got the invitation. - Invitation! 688 00:30:18,868 --> 00:30:19,802 Nice work my dude. 689 00:30:19,835 --> 00:30:21,336 What's your long-term plan? 690 00:30:21,369 --> 00:30:22,480 Well, that's the Uber guy right that. 691 00:30:22,504 --> 00:30:23,514 Wait, what do you mean long-term plan? 692 00:30:23,538 --> 00:30:25,349 Yes, I'm not saying I still have a lot to learn, 693 00:30:25,373 --> 00:30:26,785 but can I let you in on a little secret? 694 00:30:26,809 --> 00:30:29,578 No, because you're just gonna tell me anyway. 695 00:30:29,611 --> 00:30:30,611 Go ahead and tell me. 696 00:30:31,746 --> 00:30:33,381 Hey there, handsome. 697 00:30:33,415 --> 00:30:36,318 Look, Neil, girls want to fuck just as badly as we do. 698 00:30:37,485 --> 00:30:38,854 And you know this how? 699 00:30:38,888 --> 00:30:41,222 It's actually sexist to think some shit like that. 700 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,300 Alright, sexism is a real issue. 701 00:30:42,324 --> 00:30:44,292 Okay, I consider myself to be a proud feminist. 702 00:30:44,326 --> 00:30:45,727 Good God! 703 00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:46,872 Alright, do you-are you circling the block or some shit? 704 00:30:46,896 --> 00:30:48,563 Are you stalking us? 705 00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,508 You got a problem with my five star Uber driving? 706 00:30:50,532 --> 00:30:52,434 No, I have a problem with your attitude. 707 00:30:52,467 --> 00:30:53,477 Can I have a private conversation 708 00:30:53,501 --> 00:30:54,269 with my friend, please? 709 00:30:54,302 --> 00:30:55,838 Yes, by all means. 710 00:30:55,871 --> 00:30:57,272 Go ahead. 711 00:30:57,305 --> 00:30:58,206 So I consider myself to be a proud feminist. 712 00:30:58,239 --> 00:30:59,574 Yeah, I know, me too. 713 00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:00,475 I love my family. 714 00:31:00,508 --> 00:31:01,643 I... I love women. 715 00:31:01,676 --> 00:31:03,144 I love girls, I respect them. 716 00:31:03,178 --> 00:31:04,856 You know I have a healthy relationship with my mom 717 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,582 and my psycho sister, and sometimes I wish that 718 00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,652 I was a woman, so I could help fight feminism from the inside. 719 00:31:10,685 --> 00:31:13,188 Okay, did you know that woman still make seventy-seven cents 720 00:31:13,221 --> 00:31:13,688 to the man's dollar? 721 00:31:13,722 --> 00:31:14,489 Yes. 722 00:31:14,522 --> 00:31:16,191 Think about that shit. 723 00:31:16,224 --> 00:31:17,803 How would you feel being short changed by twenty-two cents? 724 00:31:17,827 --> 00:31:19,594 Twenty-three, genius. 725 00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:20,462 See, even worse. 726 00:31:20,495 --> 00:31:22,765 Be the new super cool, non-sexist dude. 727 00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:24,000 Your wish came true, man. 728 00:31:24,033 --> 00:31:26,401 You finally have a second chance to step up and take a shot. 729 00:31:26,434 --> 00:31:27,602 You got the invite, baby! 730 00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:28,536 Yeah, I got the invite. 731 00:31:28,570 --> 00:31:30,205 I got... This is all I wanted. I got it. 732 00:31:30,238 --> 00:31:31,506 Oh, my God. 733 00:31:31,539 --> 00:31:32,875 Summer's obviously into you 734 00:31:32,908 --> 00:31:34,352 and you're lacking confidence right now. 735 00:31:34,376 --> 00:31:35,176 That's fine, that's fine, 736 00:31:35,210 --> 00:31:35,878 'cause it all comes from practice. 737 00:31:35,911 --> 00:31:37,113 Look it up, Malcolm Gladwell. 738 00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:38,957 You have to bang 10,000 chicks in order to feel comfortable 739 00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:40,248 having sex with Summer. 740 00:31:40,281 --> 00:31:41,851 Ten... 741 00:31:41,884 --> 00:31:43,795 But we need Viagra, 'cause we're pressed on time right now. 742 00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:45,353 We need Viagra to bang 10,000 chicks. 743 00:31:45,387 --> 00:31:46,922 - Yes, 10,000 chicks. - 10,000 chicks. 744 00:31:46,956 --> 00:31:48,824 Do you think LeBron James or Tom Brady show up 745 00:31:48,858 --> 00:31:50,458 to the championship game and hope to win? 746 00:31:50,492 --> 00:31:51,459 Or, they fuck people up all season? 747 00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:53,361 No. 748 00:31:53,395 --> 00:31:54,538 You need to think of Victoria's party as your season and Summer 749 00:31:54,562 --> 00:31:57,265 as your Super Bowl, and you have ten hours to fuck up Chad 750 00:31:57,298 --> 00:31:57,933 and win that pussy ring. 751 00:31:57,967 --> 00:31:58,968 Great, got it! 752 00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:00,502 How am I supposed to fuck up Chad? 753 00:32:00,535 --> 00:32:01,971 I take the school bus. 754 00:32:02,004 --> 00:32:03,204 I've got that covered, man. 755 00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:17,352 Can I help you out with something? 756 00:32:17,385 --> 00:32:18,385 - Yeah. - Yeah. 757 00:32:21,924 --> 00:32:23,701 Well, I've got to get to work soon, so let's hear it. 758 00:32:23,725 --> 00:32:25,761 Oh, wh... what do you do? 759 00:32:25,795 --> 00:32:26,628 I sell Porsches. 760 00:32:26,661 --> 00:32:27,661 You a detective? 761 00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:30,541 Look... look, I know you're a very busy man. 762 00:32:30,565 --> 00:32:31,910 You know Porsches to sell, pussies to pop. 763 00:32:31,934 --> 00:32:33,969 I get that, I'm just gonna cut to the chase. 764 00:32:34,003 --> 00:32:35,847 Alright, my handsome friend here, he's your new neighbour 765 00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:37,682 and we notice you seem to have unlimited access 766 00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:38,606 to the sexiest cars. 767 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,408 And we really need one for one wicked night 768 00:32:40,442 --> 00:32:42,410 of partying we got set up for tonight. 769 00:32:42,444 --> 00:32:45,915 And you know what they say, sexy wheels, sexy heels. 770 00:32:45,948 --> 00:32:47,415 "Sexy wheels, sexy heels." 771 00:32:47,449 --> 00:32:49,250 Uh, you funny, man. 772 00:32:49,284 --> 00:32:50,829 So I guess you're the one with the pretty face that 773 00:32:50,853 --> 00:32:53,254 keeps the girls coming and then, uh, you keep 'em around 774 00:32:53,288 --> 00:32:54,365 with the funny one liners, huh? 775 00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:55,825 - That's the idea. - Yeah. 776 00:32:55,858 --> 00:32:56,759 Yeah, yeah, you know, when you're handsome as hell like us, 777 00:32:56,792 --> 00:32:58,828 you don't need corny jokes. 778 00:32:58,861 --> 00:33:00,495 Alright, Jimbo? 779 00:33:00,528 --> 00:33:01,528 Jimmy. 780 00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:03,809 Time is money and money is sweet like honey, 781 00:33:03,833 --> 00:33:05,700 so let's talk some rides, guys. 782 00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,403 Now, I can take you boys to the dealership. 783 00:33:08,436 --> 00:33:10,638 We're gonna do everything on the up where I gotta run 784 00:33:10,672 --> 00:33:12,875 your credit check, make sure you're over 25, 785 00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,343 see what's available on the lot, yada-yada-yada. 786 00:33:15,376 --> 00:33:18,279 Or, if this little baby's giving you bedroom eyes, 787 00:33:18,313 --> 00:33:19,758 we can settle everything right here, right now, 788 00:33:19,782 --> 00:33:20,315 off the books. 789 00:33:20,348 --> 00:33:21,616 No, this car is perfect. 790 00:33:21,649 --> 00:33:24,887 She purrs, and she bites, 791 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,789 but you know what she does best? 792 00:33:26,822 --> 00:33:28,523 She makes them panties drop. 793 00:33:28,556 --> 00:33:29,524 We on the same exact page, man. 794 00:33:29,557 --> 00:33:31,002 I get exactly what you're saying, my friend. 795 00:33:31,026 --> 00:33:31,827 - Yeah. - Yeah. 796 00:33:31,861 --> 00:33:33,328 We are reading the same page here, 797 00:33:33,361 --> 00:33:34,438 like it's our homework assignment 798 00:33:34,462 --> 00:33:36,899 and it's due tomorrow, and we're gonna turn it in, 799 00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,868 send it off. 800 00:33:40,568 --> 00:33:41,568 Stop. 801 00:33:45,573 --> 00:33:47,475 She's got 430 horsepower, 802 00:33:47,509 --> 00:33:49,779 or as I like to call it, horsecockpower. 803 00:33:49,812 --> 00:33:51,555 You know what makes the ladies really excited? 804 00:33:51,579 --> 00:33:52,848 What, respect and equal pay? 805 00:33:52,882 --> 00:33:54,016 Fuck, no! 806 00:33:54,049 --> 00:33:56,618 Press this button right here, takes you to sports mode. 807 00:33:56,651 --> 00:33:58,754 It's like two beautiful legs opening right up, 808 00:33:58,788 --> 00:34:01,589 clearing you for expedited first class entry. 809 00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:02,768 Please remember to fasten your seat belts 810 00:34:02,792 --> 00:34:04,559 before take off, gentlemen. 811 00:34:04,592 --> 00:34:06,037 - Oh, fuck, yeah! - No, no, no, no, no. 812 00:34:06,061 --> 00:34:07,428 Can we just slow down a little bit? 813 00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:08,396 Let's not, uh, uh, uh... 814 00:34:08,429 --> 00:34:09,589 Hey, check the torque on her. 815 00:34:17,006 --> 00:34:19,108 This was fucking crazy. 816 00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:20,675 Yeah. Hangin', bro? 817 00:34:20,708 --> 00:34:22,377 - Yep. - Where'd your friend go? 818 00:34:22,410 --> 00:34:23,444 Shit! 819 00:34:25,513 --> 00:34:26,648 Ace, you alright, man? 820 00:34:26,681 --> 00:34:27,783 I think so. 821 00:34:27,817 --> 00:34:28,951 Well, then come on, man, 822 00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:30,929 'cause time is money and money is sweet like honey, 823 00:34:30,953 --> 00:34:32,855 so hop on over here, 'cause it's not funny. 824 00:34:32,888 --> 00:34:33,888 Really sorry about this. 825 00:34:34,689 --> 00:34:37,559 So, how much you got? 826 00:34:37,592 --> 00:34:38,828 How much what? 827 00:34:38,861 --> 00:34:40,528 What? Money? 828 00:34:40,562 --> 00:34:41,663 Yeah, cash. 829 00:34:41,696 --> 00:34:42,965 Yeah, on your person. 830 00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:46,001 $50 only, but I seem to have misplaced my wallet. 831 00:34:46,035 --> 00:34:47,970 I just can't find it at the moment. 832 00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:51,774 Oh-oh, you, sir, are no liar. 833 00:34:53,042 --> 00:34:54,042 How did you do that? 834 00:34:54,944 --> 00:34:56,544 So I'm gonna level with you guys. 835 00:34:56,578 --> 00:34:59,714 Believe it or not, I wasn't always this cool. 836 00:34:59,747 --> 00:35:01,616 Do you think I would have as many women as I do 837 00:35:01,649 --> 00:35:03,651 if I didn't have access to all the Porsches? 838 00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:04,987 Yes. 839 00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:06,530 Exactly right, because I've worked hard at it. 840 00:35:06,554 --> 00:35:09,024 I've trained, I've put in the time. 841 00:35:09,058 --> 00:35:11,459 You see, practice not only makes perfect, 842 00:35:11,492 --> 00:35:12,795 it makes panties drop. 843 00:35:12,828 --> 00:35:14,763 It's like you're in my brain, man. 844 00:35:14,797 --> 00:35:16,765 Does everything make panties drop? 845 00:35:16,799 --> 00:35:17,599 How about you, cheekbones? 846 00:35:17,632 --> 00:35:19,400 What you got? 847 00:35:19,434 --> 00:35:21,669 I don't think I... I don't think I have any ca... 848 00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,471 Ah, maybe $20? 849 00:35:23,504 --> 00:35:25,183 Am I standing on a street corner wearing a tight black dress 850 00:35:25,207 --> 00:35:26,842 and some red bottoms? 851 00:35:26,876 --> 00:35:27,943 N... no. 852 00:35:27,977 --> 00:35:31,713 Then stop trying to fuck me. 853 00:35:31,746 --> 00:35:33,158 Do you guys have, like, a car you can loan me 854 00:35:33,182 --> 00:35:34,515 as collateral? 855 00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:35,693 Oh, no, that would be a negative. 856 00:35:35,717 --> 00:35:38,754 Then get the fuck out of here! 857 00:35:38,787 --> 00:35:40,856 If you see me in the street, don't look at me. 858 00:35:40,890 --> 00:35:43,926 Just look down starting now. 859 00:35:43,959 --> 00:35:45,493 Get out! 860 00:35:45,526 --> 00:35:46,661 Wait. 861 00:35:50,665 --> 00:35:51,901 What's this party about? 862 00:35:51,934 --> 00:35:53,168 Can... can we look up now? 863 00:35:53,202 --> 00:35:54,803 Yeah, yeah, you can look up. 864 00:35:54,837 --> 00:35:56,671 Um, it's this lady Victoria. 865 00:35:56,704 --> 00:35:58,783 Man, I mean, she's having a party at Fuckingham Palace. 866 00:35:58,807 --> 00:35:59,818 It's supposed to be crazy, man. 867 00:35:59,842 --> 00:36:02,077 A thousand dollars per person. 868 00:36:02,111 --> 00:36:03,188 A thousand dollars ain't cheap. 869 00:36:03,212 --> 00:36:04,046 We're getting in for free. 870 00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:05,513 You know, VIP, you know. 871 00:36:05,546 --> 00:36:06,581 'Cause of me. 872 00:36:08,050 --> 00:36:09,684 Hmm. 873 00:36:09,717 --> 00:36:11,120 Right. 874 00:36:11,921 --> 00:36:13,088 Fuck it. 875 00:36:13,122 --> 00:36:14,924 Alright, my depressingly poor amigos. 876 00:36:15,523 --> 00:36:16,992 For a mere $70 bucks, 877 00:36:17,026 --> 00:36:19,161 you guys just got my Seven-Eighteen Boxster GTS 878 00:36:19,194 --> 00:36:20,194 for the night. 879 00:36:20,796 --> 00:36:22,097 - Let's go! - Sweet! 880 00:36:22,131 --> 00:36:26,068 On one condition, I'm going to the party with you, 881 00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:28,070 just to, you know, make sure she's okay and stuff. 882 00:36:28,103 --> 00:36:29,905 Who's she? 883 00:36:29,939 --> 00:36:31,472 The Porsche, moron. 884 00:36:32,808 --> 00:36:34,043 Alright, so here's the plan. 885 00:36:34,076 --> 00:36:35,878 At 7:00 pm tonight, you're gonna meet me 886 00:36:35,911 --> 00:36:38,047 at Food Mart around the corner, okay? 887 00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,082 You're gonna go inside, gonna get an extra large 888 00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:42,051 black cherry Slurpee. 889 00:36:42,084 --> 00:36:44,004 I'll be waiting for you right there with the car. 890 00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:46,855 These Viagras better work, man. 891 00:36:46,889 --> 00:36:49,557 You know old guys take Viagra to have sex 892 00:36:49,590 --> 00:36:51,726 like guys our age, right? 893 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,704 The only pill I need right now is Advil because my head 894 00:36:53,728 --> 00:36:55,097 is killing me. 895 00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:56,942 Look, the more you think about it, the more it hurts. 896 00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:58,076 Alright, you feel what you attract. 897 00:36:58,100 --> 00:36:59,634 Perception is everything. 898 00:36:59,667 --> 00:37:00,711 I'm not attracting a headache. 899 00:37:00,735 --> 00:37:02,037 I hit the shit out of my head. 900 00:37:02,071 --> 00:37:03,906 - Do you want me to rub it? - Yeah. 901 00:37:03,939 --> 00:37:05,874 Let's get these dick pills, alright? 902 00:37:05,908 --> 00:37:07,209 How did you meet this guy again? 903 00:37:07,242 --> 00:37:08,743 On Fortnite. 904 00:37:08,777 --> 00:37:10,617 He's like the Dan Bilzerian of the school, man. 905 00:37:11,947 --> 00:37:13,148 Enter, it's open. 906 00:37:16,785 --> 00:37:19,154 Is that G-money I hear behind me? 907 00:37:19,188 --> 00:37:22,191 Is that J-sizzle I see about to snipe some poor biatches? 908 00:37:22,224 --> 00:37:23,524 Gilbert? 909 00:37:23,558 --> 00:37:24,625 Come here, man. 910 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:26,161 Let this big bear get his paws on ya. 911 00:37:28,263 --> 00:37:30,232 You look different than I imagined. 912 00:37:30,265 --> 00:37:31,300 Uh, yeah. 913 00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:32,768 Nah, man, you too. 914 00:37:32,801 --> 00:37:34,569 You... you look healthy. 915 00:37:34,602 --> 00:37:35,137 Thanks man. 916 00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:36,071 I bought an Apple watch. 917 00:37:36,105 --> 00:37:38,107 Helps me to keep track of my steps, so. 918 00:37:38,140 --> 00:37:39,808 It's still in the box. 919 00:37:39,842 --> 00:37:40,776 It's pretty cool. 920 00:37:40,809 --> 00:37:43,178 Hey, this is Vanessa, the love of my life. 921 00:37:46,048 --> 00:37:46,647 Oh, they don't mind. 922 00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,283 Who is thi handsome devil? 923 00:37:48,317 --> 00:37:50,161 What, are you friends with an actual walking sex stick? 924 00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,185 Thanks. 925 00:37:53,654 --> 00:37:54,654 It's good to... 926 00:37:54,957 --> 00:37:55,991 Thanks for having us. 927 00:37:56,892 --> 00:37:58,827 You are a gentleman and a scholar, sir. 928 00:37:58,861 --> 00:37:59,938 You're a prince in an alley, Gilbert. 929 00:37:59,962 --> 00:38:02,231 Guys, come on in, have a seat. 930 00:38:02,264 --> 00:38:04,199 So, to what do I owe this gracious visit 931 00:38:04,233 --> 00:38:05,934 from my favourite Fortnite compatriot? 932 00:38:05,968 --> 00:38:07,635 Hey, man, like I said, my Viagra girl, 933 00:38:07,668 --> 00:38:08,871 she went MIA on me, man. 934 00:38:08,904 --> 00:38:09,405 What's her name? 935 00:38:09,438 --> 00:38:10,005 I probably know her. 936 00:38:10,039 --> 00:38:12,241 Uh, it's, uh... Victoria? 937 00:38:12,274 --> 00:38:14,243 - Victoria V. - Dope shit! 938 00:38:14,276 --> 00:38:15,420 You know she supplies my guy. 939 00:38:15,444 --> 00:38:19,214 She throws like the craziest, most legendary parties. 940 00:38:19,248 --> 00:38:21,917 Hey, man, let me ask you something. 941 00:38:21,950 --> 00:38:24,652 What's it like to go through life knowing everyone 942 00:38:24,685 --> 00:38:25,720 wants to fuck you? 943 00:38:27,856 --> 00:38:30,625 I... I wouldn't say it's, uh, everyone. 944 00:38:30,658 --> 00:38:32,161 Pretty sure it is everyone. 945 00:38:32,194 --> 00:38:34,105 Not everyone comes up to me and says they want to fuck me. 946 00:38:34,129 --> 00:38:35,831 I bet if I did a straw poll in this house, 947 00:38:35,864 --> 00:38:36,932 it would be everyone. 948 00:38:38,801 --> 00:38:39,868 Um... 949 00:38:39,902 --> 00:38:41,336 So I keep the drugs in the bedroom. 950 00:38:41,370 --> 00:38:44,073 Why don't we continue this negotiation in there, alright? 951 00:38:44,106 --> 00:38:45,841 Shall we? Let's do it. 952 00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:48,643 Gentlemen, milady. 953 00:38:55,716 --> 00:38:56,919 So, the pills are right there. 954 00:38:56,952 --> 00:38:59,197 You guys could just grab a vile and you should be all set. 955 00:38:59,221 --> 00:39:00,688 Thank you so much, J. 956 00:39:00,721 --> 00:39:01,900 How much do we owe you for this? 957 00:39:01,924 --> 00:39:02,791 Aw, your money's no good here. 958 00:39:02,825 --> 00:39:04,226 It's on the house. 959 00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,104 We were wondering, though, if maybe we could ask you guys 960 00:39:06,128 --> 00:39:07,662 for a favour in return? 961 00:39:07,695 --> 00:39:08,629 Yo, anything, man. 962 00:39:08,663 --> 00:39:09,630 Just ask. 963 00:39:09,664 --> 00:39:11,266 - Not anything. - Shut up. 964 00:39:11,300 --> 00:39:13,869 We think you guys are really cute. 965 00:39:13,902 --> 00:39:15,703 Do you guys think that we're cute? 966 00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:23,812 - Yeah. - Uh-huh. 967 00:39:23,846 --> 00:39:24,612 How... how do you... 968 00:39:24,645 --> 00:39:25,857 If you don't mean it, it's okay. 969 00:39:25,881 --> 00:39:26,782 You guys are cute as fuck. 970 00:39:26,815 --> 00:39:28,851 - Really? - Yeah. 971 00:39:28,884 --> 00:39:30,185 - Are you sure? - No... 972 00:39:30,219 --> 00:39:31,329 You sure you're not just saying that? 973 00:39:31,353 --> 00:39:33,055 No, no. I-I mean, um, 'cause with... 974 00:39:33,721 --> 00:39:34,957 Ace? 975 00:39:34,990 --> 00:39:36,391 Yeah, yeah. 976 00:39:36,425 --> 00:39:38,060 No, you guys are super cute. 977 00:39:38,093 --> 00:39:41,063 You guys, uh, you've... you've good chemistry and... and... 978 00:39:41,096 --> 00:39:42,974 and you guys, you know, you feed off of each other. 979 00:39:42,998 --> 00:39:44,742 You're comfortable in your own skin together, 980 00:39:44,766 --> 00:39:45,910 so that's... that's always a plus. 981 00:39:45,934 --> 00:39:47,668 - That's awesome. - Hmm. 982 00:39:47,702 --> 00:39:49,271 So Vanessa and I are gonna make love now 983 00:39:49,304 --> 00:39:51,373 and we'd love for you guys to just be around. 984 00:39:51,406 --> 00:39:54,977 You know, feel free to hop in or do whatever's comfortable. 985 00:39:55,010 --> 00:39:57,112 You know, have a seat, take a load off. 986 00:39:57,846 --> 00:40:01,083 Yeah, positive vibes only, okay? 987 00:40:02,284 --> 00:40:02,985 - Um... - Um... 988 00:40:03,018 --> 00:40:03,785 Great! 989 00:40:03,819 --> 00:40:05,387 Alexa, play my sex jams. 990 00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:07,189 Playing sex jams. 991 00:40:16,865 --> 00:40:18,400 What the fuck is happening right now? 992 00:40:20,302 --> 00:40:22,204 This is college. 993 00:40:29,912 --> 00:40:31,113 Hey! 994 00:40:31,146 --> 00:40:32,713 Give me your hand. 995 00:40:33,415 --> 00:40:34,349 Come on. 996 00:40:34,383 --> 00:40:36,185 Press your palm against my palm. 997 00:40:36,218 --> 00:40:37,219 Timothée Chalamet. 998 00:40:37,252 --> 00:40:38,387 Come on. 999 00:40:41,056 --> 00:40:42,056 You've been summoned. 1000 00:40:55,904 --> 00:40:57,239 Yes, that's great. 1001 00:40:58,540 --> 00:40:59,942 Family style, over here. 1002 00:40:59,975 --> 00:41:01,310 Let's cross fingers. 1003 00:41:01,343 --> 00:41:03,078 Let's cross fingers, family style. 1004 00:41:04,346 --> 00:41:06,815 Bro, you've been summoned, join us. 1005 00:41:09,818 --> 00:41:10,818 Come on. 1006 00:41:27,236 --> 00:41:28,237 Mm. 1007 00:41:37,879 --> 00:41:39,881 That should do it. 1008 00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:42,184 Thanks so much, boys for stopping by. 1009 00:41:42,217 --> 00:41:44,086 That's what we call a win-win, you know. 1010 00:41:47,889 --> 00:41:49,291 We take this to our graves. 1011 00:41:50,158 --> 00:41:51,193 Take what? 1012 00:41:51,994 --> 00:41:53,028 Exactly. 1013 00:41:56,265 --> 00:41:57,408 I just don't know about this guy. 1014 00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:58,567 What if he doesn't show? 1015 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,535 Neil, he's your neighbour, alright? 1016 00:42:00,569 --> 00:42:01,370 He's, at the very least, 1017 00:42:01,403 --> 00:42:03,272 a very financially stable homeowner, 1018 00:42:03,305 --> 00:42:04,882 not just some random dude we met playing video games 1019 00:42:04,906 --> 00:42:06,041 with alright? 1020 00:42:06,074 --> 00:42:08,877 Plus he's normal, he's cool, he's handsome, 1021 00:42:08,910 --> 00:42:11,270 and you shouldn't be questioning shit with a $20 investment. 1022 00:42:15,417 --> 00:42:18,487 The cashier seems to have taken a real liking to us. 1023 00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,864 He's probably wondering what a healthy stud like you 1024 00:42:19,888 --> 00:42:21,290 is even doing here. 1025 00:42:21,323 --> 00:42:22,483 None of this shit is organic. 1026 00:42:26,295 --> 00:42:27,095 Nice. 1027 00:42:27,129 --> 00:42:28,129 Come on, let's go. 1028 00:42:31,333 --> 00:42:32,200 How you doing? 1029 00:42:32,234 --> 00:42:33,368 Get this real quick? 1030 00:42:36,972 --> 00:42:38,607 Time to separate the men from the boys. 1031 00:42:48,150 --> 00:42:49,318 Okay. 1032 00:42:52,354 --> 00:42:54,423 Alright, it's go time, boys. 1033 00:42:54,456 --> 00:42:56,858 Let's do this. 1034 00:42:56,892 --> 00:42:58,960 Give me all the money out of your register now. 1035 00:42:58,994 --> 00:43:01,530 Give me all the money out of the register! 1036 00:43:01,563 --> 00:43:03,999 - Now, motherfucker! - Fuck! 1037 00:43:04,032 --> 00:43:05,243 You made me sound like Samuel Jackson. 1038 00:43:05,267 --> 00:43:06,101 - Jimmy? Jimmy? - What, chubby? 1039 00:43:06,134 --> 00:43:07,578 What am I supposed to do with the bags? 1040 00:43:07,602 --> 00:43:09,314 Just hold on to it for a second, goddamn, man. 1041 00:43:09,338 --> 00:43:10,439 Your move, Apu. 1042 00:43:10,472 --> 00:43:11,373 That's... that's racist. 1043 00:43:11,406 --> 00:43:13,342 That ain't racist, that's his name, man. 1044 00:43:13,375 --> 00:43:14,976 His mama named him that. 1045 00:43:15,010 --> 00:43:16,111 Look at all this. 1046 00:43:16,144 --> 00:43:17,112 Rob the motherfucker. 1047 00:43:17,145 --> 00:43:19,247 You know them gas prices is high as hell, man. 1048 00:43:19,281 --> 00:43:19,981 Alright, start the car. 1049 00:43:20,015 --> 00:43:21,116 Let's go! 1050 00:43:21,149 --> 00:43:22,484 The Skittles, nigg... 1051 00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:23,352 Man, come here. 1052 00:43:23,385 --> 00:43:25,020 - Why is this bag so big? - Shut up, man! 1053 00:43:25,053 --> 00:43:26,355 'Sup with all these questions? 1054 00:43:26,388 --> 00:43:27,189 Alright, go. 1055 00:43:27,222 --> 00:43:28,890 Get outta here. 1056 00:43:28,924 --> 00:43:29,624 Wait, wait, wait, there's more money. 1057 00:43:29,658 --> 00:43:30,158 There's more money. 1058 00:43:30,192 --> 00:43:30,959 There's more money. 1059 00:43:30,992 --> 00:43:32,136 Come help, we're a bout to be rich. 1060 00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:33,160 Oh, shit! 1061 00:43:36,631 --> 00:43:37,299 What the fuck? 1062 00:43:37,332 --> 00:43:38,367 Who pokes eyes? 1063 00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,135 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1064 00:43:40,168 --> 00:43:41,470 What the fuck!? 1065 00:43:41,503 --> 00:43:42,304 I don't want my fingerprints on this shit either. 1066 00:43:42,337 --> 00:43:43,238 Press the gas! 1067 00:43:43,271 --> 00:43:44,271 Fine! 1068 00:43:47,943 --> 00:43:49,120 What the hell is wrong with you, man? 1069 00:43:49,144 --> 00:43:50,412 You never drive before? 1070 00:43:50,445 --> 00:43:51,485 I just got my permit, man! 1071 00:43:59,454 --> 00:44:00,255 Oh, fuck! 1072 00:44:00,288 --> 00:44:01,690 Oh... 1073 00:44:01,723 --> 00:44:02,591 Wait! 1074 00:44:02,624 --> 00:44:03,492 Gilbert! 1075 00:44:03,525 --> 00:44:04,493 Wait, Gilbert! 1076 00:44:04,526 --> 00:44:05,260 What the fuck you doing? 1077 00:44:05,293 --> 00:44:07,396 - I can't leave Neil, man. - Why? 1078 00:44:07,429 --> 00:44:08,573 He's my best friend and I love him. 1079 00:44:08,597 --> 00:44:09,398 Oh, my... 1080 00:44:09,431 --> 00:44:11,533 - I love him, man. - Stop saying that. 1081 00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:12,934 We're not stopping. 1082 00:44:12,968 --> 00:44:15,370 Wait, guys... No, no, no, no, no, no! 1083 00:44:15,404 --> 00:44:16,538 Pop the trunk! 1084 00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:17,139 Pop the trunk. 1085 00:44:17,172 --> 00:44:18,306 Well, how do I do that? 1086 00:44:18,340 --> 00:44:19,207 Pop the trunk! 1087 00:44:19,241 --> 00:44:20,142 Wait! 1088 00:44:20,175 --> 00:44:21,175 Wait! 1089 00:44:24,012 --> 00:44:25,172 I'll kill you, motherfuckers! 1090 00:44:29,317 --> 00:44:30,018 Whoo! 1091 00:44:30,051 --> 00:44:31,051 What a rush! 1092 00:44:34,423 --> 00:44:36,291 Looks like we have another one gone wild. 1093 00:44:36,324 --> 00:44:37,659 Go figure. 1094 00:44:37,692 --> 00:44:39,612 It must be all the fresh pizza and chicken wings. 1095 00:44:41,463 --> 00:44:43,383 Drop your weapon and get down on the ground, sir! 1096 00:44:43,732 --> 00:44:45,500 - Do it now! - No, no, no, no. 1097 00:44:45,534 --> 00:44:46,368 They robbed me. 1098 00:44:46,401 --> 00:44:47,545 You should be chasing that Porsche. 1099 00:44:47,569 --> 00:44:49,647 Yeah, I'm sure guys in Porsches rob shitty Food Marts 1100 00:44:49,671 --> 00:44:50,272 all the time. 1101 00:44:50,305 --> 00:44:51,506 It makes perfect sense. 1102 00:44:51,540 --> 00:44:53,442 Get down on the ground, shitbag! 1103 00:44:53,475 --> 00:44:55,210 Do it, now! 1104 00:44:56,044 --> 00:44:58,380 I'm still failing to understand what the problem is here. 1105 00:44:59,181 --> 00:45:01,392 Okay, for starters, how about the fact that you didn't tell us 1106 00:45:01,416 --> 00:45:03,161 we were going to be robbing a fucking Food Mart. 1107 00:45:03,185 --> 00:45:04,486 Okay, first of all, 1108 00:45:04,519 --> 00:45:07,022 Food Marts get robbed all the damn time, alright? 1109 00:45:07,055 --> 00:45:08,623 That's the price of selling cheap shit, 1110 00:45:08,657 --> 00:45:09,624 and being on every block. 1111 00:45:09,658 --> 00:45:11,393 Secondly, I didn't plan this. 1112 00:45:11,426 --> 00:45:14,029 It's just, like, you know, it's a spontaneous thing. 1113 00:45:14,062 --> 00:45:15,096 I'm a spontaneous dude. 1114 00:45:15,130 --> 00:45:15,964 I knew y'all was broke, 1115 00:45:15,997 --> 00:45:17,566 so I went in and got y'all some money. 1116 00:45:17,599 --> 00:45:18,533 What's wrong with that? 1117 00:45:18,567 --> 00:45:20,368 So you just happened to carry a mask and... 1118 00:45:20,402 --> 00:45:21,603 and a gun on you? 1119 00:45:21,636 --> 00:45:23,071 See this gun, fake! 1120 00:45:23,104 --> 00:45:23,738 Man, what are you doing? 1121 00:45:23,773 --> 00:45:25,307 Okay. 1122 00:45:25,340 --> 00:45:27,442 And I wear the mask sometimes 'cause, you know, 1123 00:45:27,476 --> 00:45:28,310 chicks like it. 1124 00:45:28,343 --> 00:45:29,444 I'm a freak. 1125 00:45:32,347 --> 00:45:34,425 You realize the cops are gonna be looking for us, right? 1126 00:45:34,449 --> 00:45:35,560 'Cause our faces are on that camera, 1127 00:45:35,584 --> 00:45:37,452 not Mister Ski Mask over here. 1128 00:45:37,486 --> 00:45:39,597 Okay, you shouldn't be concerned with any of that shit. 1129 00:45:39,621 --> 00:45:40,756 I should be. 1130 00:45:40,790 --> 00:45:41,790 Alright, you're good. 1131 00:45:43,525 --> 00:45:45,160 You're fine with this? 1132 00:45:45,193 --> 00:45:46,337 You're fine with the scenario the way that all this shit 1133 00:45:46,361 --> 00:45:47,429 went down? 1134 00:45:47,462 --> 00:45:49,631 Neil, I wasn't gonna leave you, man. 1135 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:51,767 I came back for you, ma... Jimmy, tell him. 1136 00:45:51,801 --> 00:45:53,235 Yeah, I wanted to leave you. 1137 00:45:53,268 --> 00:45:54,669 I thought you was dead weight. 1138 00:45:54,703 --> 00:45:56,247 But he love you, so I was like, alright. 1139 00:45:56,271 --> 00:45:57,706 - I love you, man. - Don't do that. 1140 00:45:57,739 --> 00:45:59,183 - I love you, man. - You don't love me. 1141 00:45:59,207 --> 00:46:00,318 - Yes, I do. - You don't love me. 1142 00:46:00,342 --> 00:46:01,586 - Don't... - Neil, I fuckin' love you, man! 1143 00:46:01,610 --> 00:46:03,211 Don't abuse that word, man. 1144 00:46:03,245 --> 00:46:04,322 Look, is this "The Notebook"? 1145 00:46:04,346 --> 00:46:06,114 Well, y... you wanted the Porsche. 1146 00:46:06,147 --> 00:46:07,625 You wanted the Porsche, so we got you the Porsche. 1147 00:46:07,649 --> 00:46:09,360 - I don't care about... - You wanted to be like Chad. 1148 00:46:09,384 --> 00:46:10,595 - So I got you a Porsche. - Porsche, baby. 1149 00:46:10,619 --> 00:46:11,419 It's a clean ass Porsche. 1150 00:46:11,453 --> 00:46:12,764 No, I don't care about the Porsche. 1151 00:46:12,788 --> 00:46:13,455 Who doesn't want a Porsche? 1152 00:46:13,488 --> 00:46:14,189 I never cared about the Porsche. 1153 00:46:14,222 --> 00:46:15,090 No one cares about the Porsche. 1154 00:46:15,123 --> 00:46:16,792 You saying you don't want this Porsche? 1155 00:46:16,826 --> 00:46:18,560 I want a Porsche. 1156 00:46:18,593 --> 00:46:21,263 In order to have intercourse, you've got to have a Porsche. 1157 00:46:21,296 --> 00:46:22,597 I didn't want the dick pills. 1158 00:46:22,631 --> 00:46:24,175 And I definitely don't want to go to jail 1159 00:46:24,199 --> 00:46:25,534 for robbing fucking Food Marts. 1160 00:46:26,668 --> 00:46:29,504 All I wanted was a pineapple invitation 1161 00:46:29,538 --> 00:46:30,705 and to go to Summer's party. 1162 00:46:30,739 --> 00:46:32,207 Alright, we all got that. 1163 00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:34,242 So me, you and Jimmy, we can all roll right now 1164 00:46:34,276 --> 00:46:35,744 in the Porsche. 1165 00:46:35,778 --> 00:46:40,315 I... I even held your weird friend's hand while he orgasmed. 1166 00:46:40,348 --> 00:46:41,392 Hold his hand when he was whatin'? 1167 00:46:41,416 --> 00:46:43,652 Hey, man, will you... 1168 00:46:43,685 --> 00:46:45,253 I was in there with you. 1169 00:46:45,287 --> 00:46:47,167 Neil, you don't got to say that shit around him. 1170 00:46:47,890 --> 00:46:50,692 I never would have puked on Summer if it weren't for you. 1171 00:46:50,725 --> 00:46:52,294 I was just trying to help you. 1172 00:46:54,830 --> 00:46:57,132 Alright, this happens at my dealership all the time. 1173 00:46:57,165 --> 00:46:59,734 It's called a breakdown of communication. 1174 00:46:59,769 --> 00:47:02,671 That's what's happening right now with you guys, okay? 1175 00:47:02,704 --> 00:47:05,808 A great way to solve it is just by being nice to each other. 1176 00:47:05,841 --> 00:47:07,275 Make up, okay? 1177 00:47:07,944 --> 00:47:09,377 I'm... I'm good. I'm done. 1178 00:47:15,483 --> 00:47:16,651 Do you want me to shoot him? 1179 00:47:21,891 --> 00:47:23,759 Looks like you're my VIP customer of the night. 1180 00:47:25,895 --> 00:47:27,495 Where's your friend, the crazy one? 1181 00:47:31,767 --> 00:47:33,134 Fuck him. 1182 00:47:36,504 --> 00:47:39,240 Y'all pretty tight, huh? 1183 00:47:39,274 --> 00:47:41,911 Yeah, that's my best friend. 1184 00:47:41,944 --> 00:47:44,847 Or was... I guess. 1185 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,649 Man, real best friends fight and make up all the time, man. 1186 00:47:47,682 --> 00:47:50,552 Y'all'll be back, trust that. 1187 00:47:51,553 --> 00:47:52,553 Yeah. 1188 00:47:54,322 --> 00:47:55,734 Want to loosen up a little bit before we, uh, 1189 00:47:55,758 --> 00:47:57,158 hit this party, though? 1190 00:48:10,238 --> 00:48:11,640 Born ready, man. 1191 00:48:20,248 --> 00:48:21,559 Hey, how's the party? What's going on? 1192 00:48:21,583 --> 00:48:22,350 Mm. 1193 00:48:22,384 --> 00:48:24,219 Hey, you wanna dance? 1194 00:48:24,252 --> 00:48:27,389 It's alright, not too crowded yet. 1195 00:48:27,422 --> 00:48:28,422 Is Chad there? 1196 00:48:28,958 --> 00:48:31,726 Oh, I said no gifts! 1197 00:48:31,761 --> 00:48:32,962 Yes. 1198 00:48:32,995 --> 00:48:35,196 And I would advise bringing her a gift. 1199 00:48:35,230 --> 00:48:37,532 Chad is bringing his A game. 1200 00:48:37,565 --> 00:48:39,401 Of course he is. 1201 00:48:39,434 --> 00:48:40,201 What do I get her? 1202 00:48:40,235 --> 00:48:41,871 Something simple, cute. 1203 00:48:41,904 --> 00:48:43,304 Bring her a pocket dildo. 1204 00:48:43,338 --> 00:48:45,507 N... I'm not gonna get her a dildo, Jaclyn. 1205 00:48:45,540 --> 00:48:46,374 Okay, bye. 1206 00:48:46,408 --> 00:48:47,509 I gotta go. 1207 00:48:54,516 --> 00:48:55,593 Hey, I'm gonna grab something from the store. 1208 00:48:55,617 --> 00:48:56,819 I'll be right back. 1209 00:48:56,852 --> 00:48:58,821 Cool, I'll be out here having fun pumping gas. 1210 00:49:00,488 --> 00:49:01,957 - Hey. - Hey. 1211 00:49:16,972 --> 00:49:19,240 Can I get thirty on seven and a pack of menthols, please? 1212 00:49:20,341 --> 00:49:21,043 How you doing? 1213 00:49:21,077 --> 00:49:22,812 Good, you? 1214 00:49:22,845 --> 00:49:24,555 Shitty, we had a Food Mart hit down the street. 1215 00:49:24,579 --> 00:49:25,915 You guys got any suspects? 1216 00:49:25,948 --> 00:49:27,049 We've got video footage. 1217 00:49:27,083 --> 00:49:30,285 Some handsome motherfucker, his fat friend, and here. 1218 00:49:31,319 --> 00:49:32,687 Guy, that's my dog. 1219 00:49:32,721 --> 00:49:33,555 We've got video footage. That's Tommy Lee Jones, yeah. 1220 00:49:33,588 --> 00:49:34,766 He's cute. A little excited, ain't he? 1221 00:49:34,790 --> 00:49:36,324 Yeah, that's him and I in Ramerwood. 1222 00:49:36,357 --> 00:49:37,159 It's a Chinese restaurant. 1223 00:49:37,193 --> 00:49:38,994 - What are you doing? - Don't worry. 1224 00:49:39,028 --> 00:49:40,328 I'm not gonna hurt you. 1225 00:49:40,361 --> 00:49:41,296 Oh, my God, no, no, no! 1226 00:49:41,329 --> 00:49:42,297 Don't do it, don't do it! 1227 00:49:42,330 --> 00:49:43,565 What? Why? 1228 00:49:43,598 --> 00:49:44,910 I'm already committed here if you can't tell. 1229 00:49:44,934 --> 00:49:46,367 No, I'm... I'm trying to help you. 1230 00:49:46,401 --> 00:49:47,235 It's my first time. 1231 00:49:47,268 --> 00:49:48,379 They say the first time's the hardest. 1232 00:49:48,403 --> 00:49:49,805 No, no, no, wait. 1233 00:49:49,839 --> 00:49:50,773 There's a cop at the register. Seriously, don't do it. 1234 00:49:50,806 --> 00:49:52,041 Stop fuckin' with me, man. 1235 00:49:52,074 --> 00:49:53,341 Do you think this is easy? 1236 00:49:53,374 --> 00:49:54,576 You should try it, dip shit. 1237 00:49:54,609 --> 00:49:56,011 I'm... I'm not... I've... 1238 00:49:58,413 --> 00:50:00,348 That's the video. 1239 00:50:00,381 --> 00:50:02,584 These motherfuckers robbed a Food Mart in a Porsche. 1240 00:50:02,617 --> 00:50:04,285 Who robs a Food Mart in a Porsche? 1241 00:50:04,319 --> 00:50:05,286 Nobody does. 1242 00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:06,521 It smells fishy. 1243 00:50:06,554 --> 00:50:07,522 We think it's an inside job. 1244 00:50:07,555 --> 00:50:09,624 Let me get two ring pops for my buddy the Ramrod. 1245 00:50:34,516 --> 00:50:35,383 - What the... - Don't make me do it! 1246 00:50:35,416 --> 00:50:37,019 Okay, drop the gun now! 1247 00:50:37,052 --> 00:50:38,020 No. 1248 00:50:38,053 --> 00:50:39,789 Drop the gun. 1249 00:50:39,822 --> 00:50:40,622 I'm gonna shoot him. 1250 00:50:40,655 --> 00:50:41,924 No, you're not. 1251 00:50:41,957 --> 00:50:43,769 Yeah, I am and... and then, and then who knows. 1252 00:50:43,793 --> 00:50:45,070 That shit ain't gonna work like you think. 1253 00:50:45,094 --> 00:50:48,030 Drop... the gun! 1254 00:50:48,063 --> 00:50:49,464 You drop your gun! 1255 00:50:50,065 --> 00:50:51,065 No! 1256 00:50:57,139 --> 00:50:58,606 I'm gonna shoot him, man. 1257 00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,408 You don't know me. 1258 00:51:00,441 --> 00:51:01,643 You don't know my capabilities. 1259 00:51:01,676 --> 00:51:03,645 Wait a minute, you shut up for a second. 1260 00:51:03,678 --> 00:51:04,746 Are you recording this? 1261 00:51:04,780 --> 00:51:06,347 Yeah, man. 1262 00:51:06,381 --> 00:51:07,859 You guys don't have the best reputation right now. 1263 00:51:07,883 --> 00:51:09,484 That's right, Black Lives Matter. 1264 00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:11,787 Okay. 1265 00:51:11,821 --> 00:51:13,122 Neither of you two are Black. 1266 00:51:13,155 --> 00:51:14,555 That's why you haven't shot him yet? 1267 00:51:17,092 --> 00:51:18,593 I know yo... 1268 00:51:18,626 --> 00:51:20,763 You're the handsome motherfucker from Food Mart. 1269 00:51:21,997 --> 00:51:24,566 Dude, dude, we've gotta go! 1270 00:51:24,599 --> 00:51:25,700 We gotta go! 1271 00:51:28,403 --> 00:51:29,403 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1272 00:51:36,477 --> 00:51:37,880 Whose list are you on? 1273 00:51:37,913 --> 00:51:39,782 Uh, that will be Ken, and my name is Ace. 1274 00:51:39,815 --> 00:51:41,050 Ace, huh? 1275 00:51:42,017 --> 00:51:44,019 Yeah, like... like Ventura. 1276 00:51:44,053 --> 00:51:45,754 Alrighty, then! 1277 00:51:46,554 --> 00:51:47,554 Welcome, Ace. 1278 00:51:47,823 --> 00:51:48,590 Nice car. 1279 00:51:48,623 --> 00:51:49,992 It's my weekend whip. 1280 00:51:50,025 --> 00:51:50,826 They're good. 1281 00:51:50,860 --> 00:51:52,660 And here are your mandatory outfits. 1282 00:51:55,798 --> 00:51:56,866 Outfits? 1283 00:52:00,970 --> 00:52:01,971 Okay. 1284 00:52:05,841 --> 00:52:07,575 Have a good time, gentlemen. 1285 00:52:17,019 --> 00:52:18,586 Sushi to go. 1286 00:52:18,620 --> 00:52:19,989 Sushi to go. 1287 00:52:26,594 --> 00:52:27,997 Man. 1288 00:52:28,030 --> 00:52:29,030 Okay. 1289 00:52:31,666 --> 00:52:32,906 Yo, man, this is the shit, man. 1290 00:52:32,935 --> 00:52:34,203 What did I tell you? 1291 00:52:34,236 --> 00:52:35,137 What did I tell you? 1292 00:52:35,170 --> 00:52:36,038 You told me. 1293 00:52:36,071 --> 00:52:37,139 You, uh, told me. 1294 00:52:37,172 --> 00:52:38,274 This is it. 1295 00:52:38,307 --> 00:52:41,076 Uh, does this seem like a bit of a guy thing to you? 1296 00:52:41,110 --> 00:52:43,611 Oh, a guy thing to me is watching football with a beer 1297 00:52:43,645 --> 00:52:44,890 in one hand and my nuts in the other, 1298 00:52:44,914 --> 00:52:46,714 but I ain't trippin'. 1299 00:52:46,748 --> 00:52:49,550 This is my first man on man extravaganza. 1300 00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:50,753 You got any friends here? 1301 00:52:50,786 --> 00:52:51,787 I don't think so. 1302 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:53,588 Gilbert? 1303 00:52:54,957 --> 00:52:56,557 Gilbert! 1304 00:52:56,591 --> 00:52:57,591 Shit! 1305 00:52:58,928 --> 00:53:00,628 - G Spot! - Hey. 1306 00:53:00,662 --> 00:53:02,865 How did I know I'd find you here, you sexy bitch? 1307 00:53:02,898 --> 00:53:04,166 Yeah, we had fun today, right? 1308 00:53:05,667 --> 00:53:06,869 1Up to you, Justin. 1309 00:53:06,902 --> 00:53:08,203 Whoo! 1310 00:53:08,237 --> 00:53:08,938 Hey, man, you've got a little thing on your... 1311 00:53:08,971 --> 00:53:09,570 Whoa! 1312 00:53:09,604 --> 00:53:10,604 Oh! 1313 00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:12,918 - What the fuck was that, man? - Relax, dude. 1314 00:53:12,942 --> 00:53:14,575 It's just cocaine, full nose candy. 1315 00:53:14,609 --> 00:53:15,210 Dude, relax. 1316 00:53:15,244 --> 00:53:16,011 Stop being so square. 1317 00:53:16,045 --> 00:53:17,045 Come on. 1318 00:53:20,648 --> 00:53:22,017 Hey, uh, enjoy yourself, G Spot. 1319 00:53:22,051 --> 00:53:22,885 Wait, wait, wait! 1320 00:53:22,918 --> 00:53:23,786 Jimmy, where... where you goin', man? 1321 00:53:23,819 --> 00:53:24,386 - Come on, dude. - Where you going, Jimmy? 1322 00:53:24,420 --> 00:53:25,087 We got to dance, bitch! 1323 00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,156 Guys, come meet my friend. 1324 00:53:41,703 --> 00:53:42,972 Oh! 1325 00:53:43,005 --> 00:53:44,639 I'm so glad you made it. 1326 00:53:44,672 --> 00:53:46,809 I wouldn't miss it for the world. 1327 00:53:46,842 --> 00:53:49,510 My pussy and I have been waiting for you. 1328 00:53:49,544 --> 00:53:52,114 Well, the wait is over for both of you. 1329 00:53:57,920 --> 00:53:59,088 Hey, buddy. 1330 00:53:59,121 --> 00:54:00,521 Yeah? 1331 00:54:00,555 --> 00:54:01,766 Do you want to hang out sometime? 1332 00:54:01,790 --> 00:54:03,025 - Uh... - Here's my card. 1333 00:54:03,058 --> 00:54:05,060 It has all my contact info on there. 1334 00:54:05,094 --> 00:54:06,728 Oh, and I talked to my girlfriend. 1335 00:54:06,762 --> 00:54:09,231 She's down to clown around in threesome town. 1336 00:54:09,264 --> 00:54:11,233 She said you could be the mayor. 1337 00:54:11,266 --> 00:54:13,135 - Okay. - Cool. 1338 00:54:26,581 --> 00:54:27,850 Jaclyn, hey. 1339 00:54:27,883 --> 00:54:29,184 Jaclyn? 1340 00:54:29,218 --> 00:54:30,218 Hmm? 1341 00:54:30,819 --> 00:54:32,587 - Where is she? - No. 1342 00:54:32,620 --> 00:54:33,620 No, no. 1343 00:54:33,789 --> 00:54:34,923 I need your help. 1344 00:54:34,957 --> 00:54:37,059 - Jesus Christ. - Who are you? 1345 00:54:37,092 --> 00:54:38,726 Oh, Jesus Christ! 1346 00:54:38,761 --> 00:54:39,261 Oh, my God. 1347 00:54:39,294 --> 00:54:40,229 I completely forgot. 1348 00:54:40,262 --> 00:54:41,096 He's... 1349 00:54:41,130 --> 00:54:41,729 - Hmm? - Oh. 1350 00:54:41,764 --> 00:54:42,804 You could go kiss her now. 1351 00:54:54,642 --> 00:54:55,277 Whoa! 1352 00:54:55,310 --> 00:54:55,844 Sorry, dude. 1353 00:54:55,878 --> 00:54:57,079 Watch your step, man. 1354 00:54:57,112 --> 00:54:58,112 My bad. 1355 00:55:17,066 --> 00:55:17,933 Oh! 1356 00:55:17,966 --> 00:55:19,168 Hey, what's up, Black dude. 1357 00:55:19,201 --> 00:55:20,235 How you doing, man? 1358 00:55:20,269 --> 00:55:22,037 I'm looking for the fuckin' room. 1359 00:55:22,071 --> 00:55:23,638 Any ideas, Lennox Lewis? 1360 00:55:25,941 --> 00:55:26,941 What you got there? 1361 00:55:39,421 --> 00:55:41,656 Show 'em what you got. 1362 00:55:41,689 --> 00:55:43,826 What is that double dickin' it, or jizz in the eye? 1363 00:55:43,859 --> 00:55:46,661 Alright, you... can you just support me right now? 1364 00:55:46,694 --> 00:55:47,529 What the fuck? I am. 1365 00:55:47,563 --> 00:55:48,940 You're not being a good wingwoman at all. 1366 00:55:48,964 --> 00:55:50,099 Yes, I am being a good... 1367 00:55:50,132 --> 00:55:50,966 That's so mean. 1368 00:55:50,999 --> 00:55:51,400 I led you... 1369 00:55:51,433 --> 00:55:52,401 Whoo! 1370 00:55:52,434 --> 00:55:53,936 Just go dance with her. 1371 00:55:53,969 --> 00:55:55,380 She's right fucking there, and she's asking for it. 1372 00:55:55,404 --> 00:55:56,171 She wants it. 1373 00:55:56,205 --> 00:55:57,638 It's not... No. 1374 00:55:57,672 --> 00:55:58,240 Go! 1375 00:55:58,273 --> 00:55:59,842 It's not the right time. 1376 00:55:59,875 --> 00:56:02,077 It is the right time. 1377 00:56:02,111 --> 00:56:03,744 Let me tell you a secret. 1378 00:56:03,779 --> 00:56:04,847 It is the right time. 1379 00:56:06,381 --> 00:56:07,783 What are you doing? 1380 00:56:07,816 --> 00:56:09,084 I'm cueing you. 1381 00:56:10,385 --> 00:56:11,086 Hi! 1382 00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:13,088 I bumped right... That's so crazy! 1383 00:56:14,289 --> 00:56:15,224 I didn't even mean to do that at all. 1384 00:56:15,257 --> 00:56:16,225 - Hi. - Hi. 1385 00:56:16,258 --> 00:56:18,160 You look so sexy. 1386 00:56:18,193 --> 00:56:18,827 Wow. 1387 00:56:18,861 --> 00:56:19,660 - Oh, my God. - Thank you. 1388 00:56:19,694 --> 00:56:21,430 We should make this thing happen. 1389 00:56:21,463 --> 00:56:22,965 - Oh, really? - Oh, we're leaving. 1390 00:56:22,998 --> 00:56:24,342 - Alright, I love you. - We'll see you in a while. 1391 00:56:24,366 --> 00:56:25,733 - Bye. - Love you! 1392 00:56:31,874 --> 00:56:33,008 Hey, Summer. 1393 00:56:33,041 --> 00:56:34,443 - Hey! - Hi. 1394 00:56:34,476 --> 00:56:35,476 Made it! 1395 00:56:36,879 --> 00:56:38,746 Ass? 1396 00:56:38,780 --> 00:56:40,282 Um... Ac... actually... 1397 00:56:40,315 --> 00:56:41,383 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 1398 00:56:41,416 --> 00:56:42,251 I know it's Ace. 1399 00:56:42,284 --> 00:56:43,418 Oh, yeah. 1400 00:56:43,452 --> 00:56:44,052 Good one. 1401 00:56:44,086 --> 00:56:45,754 Ass. 1402 00:56:45,787 --> 00:56:47,165 Yeah, well, actually I have a... I have the invitation. 1403 00:56:47,189 --> 00:56:48,423 I brought it. 1404 00:56:48,457 --> 00:56:50,058 And you still have it? 1405 00:56:50,092 --> 00:56:51,460 Yeah. 1406 00:56:51,493 --> 00:56:53,728 Security didn't take it at the door? 1407 00:56:53,762 --> 00:56:56,331 Oh, uh, I didn't... I didn't see security there. 1408 00:56:56,365 --> 00:56:58,733 - What- - I'm fucking with you. 1409 00:56:58,767 --> 00:57:00,245 There's no security, It's not the airport. 1410 00:57:00,269 --> 00:57:01,269 Oh! 1411 00:57:02,371 --> 00:57:03,272 You know I think that you're the only person that 1412 00:57:03,305 --> 00:57:05,174 has that still. 1413 00:57:05,207 --> 00:57:08,243 Oh, uh, it just... it was nice. 1414 00:57:08,277 --> 00:57:10,012 Oh, my God, um... 1415 00:57:10,045 --> 00:57:11,180 What time is it? 1416 00:57:11,213 --> 00:57:13,849 Um, almost nine. 1417 00:57:14,483 --> 00:57:15,493 I have to go check the food. 1418 00:57:15,517 --> 00:57:17,052 - I'm so sorry. - Um... 1419 00:57:17,085 --> 00:57:17,920 Okay. 1420 00:57:17,953 --> 00:57:18,820 Stay. 1421 00:57:18,854 --> 00:57:19,454 Dance. 1422 00:57:19,488 --> 00:57:20,289 - Have fun! - Yeah. 1423 00:57:20,322 --> 00:57:22,690 No, I'll keep... I'll keep dancing. 1424 00:57:24,126 --> 00:57:25,460 Double dickin' it. 1425 00:57:30,365 --> 00:57:31,300 You know these clowns? 1426 00:57:31,333 --> 00:57:32,201 I know him. 1427 00:57:32,234 --> 00:57:33,101 I know him as Gilbert. 1428 00:57:33,135 --> 00:57:34,735 We play Fortnite together. 1429 00:57:34,770 --> 00:57:35,938 He's a sweet guy. 1430 00:57:35,971 --> 00:57:37,081 He said that you supply him all the time. 1431 00:57:37,105 --> 00:57:38,907 Oh, that adds up. 1432 00:57:38,941 --> 00:57:40,781 Take the ball gags out of their fucking mouths. 1433 00:57:42,344 --> 00:57:43,912 Thank you. 1434 00:57:43,946 --> 00:57:45,423 I... I think this is just all a huge misunderstanding. 1435 00:57:45,447 --> 00:57:47,082 Misunderstanding? 1436 00:57:47,115 --> 00:57:50,219 A misunderstand, no, no, this is not a misunderstanding. 1437 00:57:50,252 --> 00:57:54,423 This is a fuck up, that which cannot be un-fucked. 1438 00:57:54,456 --> 00:57:56,325 I throw these parties because they cater 1439 00:57:56,358 --> 00:57:58,393 to a very specific clientele base. 1440 00:57:58,427 --> 00:57:59,928 - The gays? - Yeah. 1441 00:57:59,962 --> 00:58:01,897 Gay guys have so much money because all they do 1442 00:58:01,930 --> 00:58:05,367 is look amazing, take vacations, fuck, and do drugs. 1443 00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,245 And I throw these parties knowing I will get back three 1444 00:58:07,269 --> 00:58:10,806 or four times the amount I put in as an investment. 1445 00:58:10,839 --> 00:58:11,873 It's called an ROI. 1446 00:58:11,907 --> 00:58:14,076 And you two fucking clowns thought it would be okay 1447 00:58:14,109 --> 00:58:16,545 to come in my house and steal my motherfucking money. 1448 00:58:16,578 --> 00:58:17,913 Look, I... I completely understand 1449 00:58:17,946 --> 00:58:19,123 where you're coming from, Lady Victoria. 1450 00:58:19,147 --> 00:58:21,550 You seem to have a very strong sense of entrepreneurship, 1451 00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:23,428 but... but I actually graduate high school pretty soon, 1452 00:58:23,452 --> 00:58:24,953 so maybe I can work off that debt. 1453 00:58:24,987 --> 00:58:26,088 Shut the fuck up. 1454 00:58:26,121 --> 00:58:27,122 - Justin! - Yeah? 1455 00:58:27,155 --> 00:58:28,290 Did he just say highschool? 1456 00:58:28,323 --> 00:58:31,560 Uh... I wasn't listening, 1457 00:58:31,593 --> 00:58:33,295 but I'm sending you my deepest apologies. 1458 00:58:33,328 --> 00:58:35,430 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1459 00:58:35,464 --> 00:58:37,833 Jimmy, I'm keeping your fuckin' Porsche. 1460 00:58:37,866 --> 00:58:39,110 You can say goodbye to that pussy magnet. 1461 00:58:39,134 --> 00:58:41,236 With all due respect, Miss White Lady, 1462 00:58:41,270 --> 00:58:42,104 you can't have my Porsche. 1463 00:58:42,137 --> 00:58:43,005 It's a dealership vehicle. 1464 00:58:43,038 --> 00:58:44,148 Oh, 'cause it's a dealership vehicle? 1465 00:58:44,172 --> 00:58:45,073 Yeah, they'll come after you. 1466 00:58:45,107 --> 00:58:46,008 I'll go to fucking Porsche jail? 1467 00:58:46,041 --> 00:58:47,442 Give her the Porsche. 1468 00:58:47,476 --> 00:58:48,486 - I'm not giving her my Porsche. - Give her the Porsche. 1469 00:58:48,510 --> 00:58:49,845 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1470 00:58:49,878 --> 00:58:50,779 Give her the Porsche. 1471 00:58:50,812 --> 00:58:51,380 I ain't giving her no damn Porsche, man. 1472 00:58:51,413 --> 00:58:53,148 Then we'll fuckin' die. 1473 00:58:53,181 --> 00:58:54,592 If either of you two ever come near me again or ruin 1474 00:58:54,616 --> 00:58:57,019 one of my parties, I will personally 1475 00:58:57,052 --> 00:58:58,587 be responsible for burning both 1476 00:58:58,620 --> 00:59:01,456 of your useless fucking dicks off. 1477 00:59:01,490 --> 00:59:03,434 That makes it... that makes it sound like one of you 1478 00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:04,559 might have two dicks. 1479 00:59:04,593 --> 00:59:06,495 Okay, to clarify, you both have one dick 1480 00:59:06,528 --> 00:59:08,563 and I'm burning that dick off. 1481 00:59:09,498 --> 00:59:10,578 The keys are in his pocket. 1482 00:59:17,239 --> 00:59:18,140 Okay. 1483 00:59:18,173 --> 00:59:18,573 Hey! 1484 00:59:18,607 --> 00:59:19,574 Hey, Chad. 1485 00:59:19,608 --> 00:59:20,976 How you doing, man? 1486 00:59:21,009 --> 00:59:22,153 Wh... are you having a good time, Ace, right? 1487 00:59:22,177 --> 00:59:23,945 Uh, yeah. 1488 00:59:23,979 --> 00:59:25,147 Yeah, thanks, man. 1489 00:59:25,180 --> 00:59:26,281 Just got here, so. 1490 00:59:26,315 --> 00:59:27,883 Listen, um, 1491 00:59:30,585 --> 00:59:33,455 You like Summer, right? 1492 00:59:33,488 --> 00:59:35,357 Uh, she's... she's cool. 1493 00:59:35,390 --> 00:59:37,292 Man, she's beyond cool. 1494 00:59:37,326 --> 00:59:37,859 Am I right, Matt? 1495 00:59:37,893 --> 00:59:39,628 Like, bro, of course. 1496 00:59:39,661 --> 00:59:42,197 We know she your baddy, brah. 1497 00:59:42,230 --> 00:59:43,899 - I don't... - Listen, listen. 1498 00:59:43,932 --> 00:59:45,901 You know, we're... we're both handsome guys. 1499 00:59:45,934 --> 00:59:47,903 We skip dessert every now and then. 1500 00:59:47,936 --> 00:59:49,171 No hard feelings. 1501 00:59:52,607 --> 00:59:54,242 May the best man win. 1502 00:59:55,377 --> 00:59:56,377 What? 1503 00:59:57,145 --> 00:59:58,046 Get outta here, man! 1504 00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:58,914 You too! 1505 00:59:58,947 --> 01:00:00,349 Oh, man! 1506 01:00:02,617 --> 01:00:04,562 I cannot go back to work without that Porsche, man. 1507 01:00:04,586 --> 01:00:06,488 Why can't you just tell them it was stolen? 1508 01:00:06,521 --> 01:00:09,157 Because I've used that excuse like a thousand times. 1509 01:00:13,228 --> 01:00:14,529 Bingo, bitch! 1510 01:00:14,831 --> 01:00:17,132 How're we gonna get it outta there? 1511 01:00:17,165 --> 01:00:18,165 Um... 1512 01:00:27,442 --> 01:00:28,510 What are you doing, man? 1513 01:00:30,045 --> 01:00:30,912 What are you looking for? 1514 01:00:30,946 --> 01:00:31,946 Uh... 1515 01:00:32,381 --> 01:00:33,381 This. 1516 01:00:34,282 --> 01:00:35,282 Are you sure about this? 1517 01:00:36,585 --> 01:00:38,220 You're welcome to call an Uber. 1518 01:00:38,253 --> 01:00:39,564 I don't have any fucking pants on. 1519 01:00:39,588 --> 01:00:41,089 My phone was in my pants. 1520 01:00:41,123 --> 01:00:41,690 Exactly. 1521 01:00:41,723 --> 01:00:42,723 Get in. 1522 01:00:44,559 --> 01:00:45,559 Fuck! 1523 01:00:46,561 --> 01:00:48,630 Oh, God! 1524 01:00:48,663 --> 01:00:51,199 This was uh, this was a fucking mistake. 1525 01:00:53,935 --> 01:00:55,303 Another fucking condom! 1526 01:00:56,471 --> 01:00:57,572 Oh, shit! 1527 01:00:59,174 --> 01:01:00,375 What the fuck was that? 1528 01:01:00,409 --> 01:01:00,909 Nothing. 1529 01:01:00,942 --> 01:01:01,943 I just pooted, man. 1530 01:01:01,977 --> 01:01:02,411 Relax. 1531 01:01:02,444 --> 01:01:03,645 In my face, man? 1532 01:01:03,678 --> 01:01:05,347 We are in a tube of shit. 1533 01:01:05,380 --> 01:01:07,048 I can't fuckin' breathe, man! 1534 01:01:07,082 --> 01:01:08,082 Come on. 1535 01:01:09,751 --> 01:01:11,620 Uh... My back's all fucked up right now. 1536 01:01:13,221 --> 01:01:14,821 You know I've got problems with my knees. 1537 01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:17,225 - What the fuck? - I know. 1538 01:01:17,259 --> 01:01:18,093 - What the fuck? - I know. 1539 01:01:18,126 --> 01:01:19,227 - What the fuck? - I know. 1540 01:01:19,261 --> 01:01:20,962 - So get rid of it! - I can't! 1541 01:01:20,996 --> 01:01:22,607 If I let it go, it's gonna bite the shit out of me, alright. 1542 01:01:22,631 --> 01:01:23,975 - Do you want that to happen? - No. 1543 01:01:23,999 --> 01:01:24,566 - Do you? - No! 1544 01:01:24,599 --> 01:01:25,734 - Do you? - No! 1545 01:01:25,768 --> 01:01:27,269 Let's find something to kill it with. 1546 01:01:27,302 --> 01:01:29,371 I'll go get the car. 1547 01:01:32,107 --> 01:01:33,175 Snake! 1548 01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:36,745 Why do I got to keep seeing you? Mm? 1549 01:01:36,779 --> 01:01:38,079 What did I say? 1550 01:01:38,113 --> 01:01:39,648 Hey! 1551 01:01:39,681 --> 01:01:42,050 Why do I have to keep dealing with you and your tiny twin? 1552 01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:43,243 Wait, where's your tiny twin? 1553 01:01:55,564 --> 01:01:56,398 I killed her. 1554 01:01:56,431 --> 01:01:57,499 I fucking killed her, man. 1555 01:01:57,532 --> 01:01:58,733 Shit! 1556 01:01:58,768 --> 01:02:00,535 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 1557 01:02:00,569 --> 01:02:02,504 Stop! 1558 01:02:02,537 --> 01:02:04,573 She's fine, alright. 1559 01:02:04,606 --> 01:02:06,150 I'm sure this isn't the first time she's been hit 1560 01:02:06,174 --> 01:02:08,778 in the head with a fucking shovel. 1561 01:02:08,811 --> 01:02:11,646 And what the fuck is your problem, man? 1562 01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,615 You're the reason why we're even in this shit. 1563 01:02:13,648 --> 01:02:14,893 You want to rob people and shit. 1564 01:02:14,917 --> 01:02:17,352 You need to stop it, 'cause you're not good at it, Jimmy. 1565 01:02:17,385 --> 01:02:19,054 You suck at it, Jimmy. 1566 01:02:25,727 --> 01:02:32,467 A thirty year-old grown ass man who lives in his dad's basement. 1567 01:02:32,501 --> 01:02:36,438 I've accomplished nothing, literally nothing. 1568 01:02:39,374 --> 01:02:44,546 Now I'm sitting here in my boxers 1569 01:02:44,579 --> 01:02:49,417 covered in sewage with fucking snake semen in my eyes. 1570 01:02:55,423 --> 01:02:56,725 She didn't burn our dicks off. 1571 01:03:06,101 --> 01:03:07,837 I think I'm gonna call it a night. 1572 01:03:07,870 --> 01:03:09,304 I'm not really in the mood to party. 1573 01:03:11,373 --> 01:03:13,441 Do you think I could come inside and take a shower, 1574 01:03:13,475 --> 01:03:15,443 borrow some clothes? 1575 01:03:16,278 --> 01:03:17,345 Okay. 1576 01:03:21,216 --> 01:03:23,151 I have someone else's shit in my ass. 1577 01:03:37,666 --> 01:03:39,534 Hey, ladies and gentlemen, 1578 01:03:39,568 --> 01:03:42,437 can I get your attention, please? 1579 01:03:42,470 --> 01:03:44,272 What do you think? 1580 01:03:44,306 --> 01:03:46,508 Let's have a motherfucking dance off! 1581 01:04:00,756 --> 01:04:02,190 Boy, you look goofy as hell. 1582 01:04:02,223 --> 01:04:03,625 What do you have me wearing? 1583 01:04:03,658 --> 01:04:06,161 You look like a 90s lesbian, 1584 01:04:06,194 --> 01:04:08,463 like a blackened blueberry. 1585 01:04:08,496 --> 01:04:10,498 You wanna play? 1586 01:04:10,532 --> 01:04:11,466 Get that, get that. 1587 01:04:11,499 --> 01:04:12,701 Yeah, give me all of that. 1588 01:04:12,734 --> 01:04:13,869 Oh, got you shawty. 1589 01:04:13,903 --> 01:04:14,837 Oh, my God! 1590 01:04:14,870 --> 01:04:15,871 Got you shawty. 1591 01:04:15,905 --> 01:04:16,705 Yeah. 1592 01:04:16,738 --> 01:04:17,739 Yeah. 1593 01:04:17,773 --> 01:04:18,841 Why am I going... 1594 01:04:18,874 --> 01:04:21,643 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 1595 01:04:21,676 --> 01:04:25,714 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 1596 01:04:25,747 --> 01:04:29,751 - ♪ Happy Birthday, dear Jimmy ♪ - Oh, my God. 1597 01:04:29,785 --> 01:04:35,156 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 1598 01:04:35,190 --> 01:04:36,190 Birthday? 1599 01:04:37,827 --> 01:04:40,595 So, how you fellas gonna celebrate this event? 1600 01:04:41,563 --> 01:04:45,533 Well, I had this really cool party lined up for tonight. 1601 01:04:45,567 --> 01:04:46,802 Oh. 1602 01:04:46,836 --> 01:04:49,237 But your son here's playing hardball with me. 1603 01:04:49,270 --> 01:04:50,438 It's a high school party. 1604 01:04:51,774 --> 01:04:52,775 Hmm. 1605 01:04:52,808 --> 01:04:54,743 That's fine. 1606 01:04:54,777 --> 01:04:59,381 I was hoping for some father and son time anyway. 1607 01:04:59,414 --> 01:05:04,887 You know, I think "Casablanca" is on TCM again. 1608 01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:09,792 I could fix some popcorn and s'mores. 1609 01:05:09,825 --> 01:05:11,894 We can hang around, you know. 1610 01:05:12,962 --> 01:05:14,195 Fuck you, Dad. 1611 01:05:21,003 --> 01:05:24,739 Attention Unit 3465, we have reports that a Porsche, 1612 01:05:24,774 --> 01:05:27,475 tinted windows, no plate heading westbound, 1613 01:05:27,509 --> 01:05:29,544 Highway 84 towards downtown. 1614 01:05:29,577 --> 01:05:30,512 Please respond immediately. 1615 01:05:30,545 --> 01:05:31,847 Goddamn it! 1616 01:05:31,881 --> 01:05:33,881 I'm not even gonna be able to finish my dinner now. 1617 01:05:41,322 --> 01:05:42,691 Ooh, this place is nice! 1618 01:05:44,592 --> 01:05:46,227 I'll go look for my buddy. 1619 01:05:46,261 --> 01:05:47,696 Alright. 1620 01:05:47,729 --> 01:05:48,730 Do your thing, man. 1621 01:05:48,764 --> 01:05:49,364 Give me that shit. 1622 01:05:49,397 --> 01:05:50,532 Hey, man, that's my drink. 1623 01:05:50,565 --> 01:05:51,733 Yeah, I know. 1624 01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:53,444 I don't want any fights from you. 1625 01:05:53,468 --> 01:05:55,403 Yeah, I know. 1626 01:05:55,437 --> 01:05:56,438 With your lemon shirt. 1627 01:06:15,758 --> 01:06:17,038 Looks like it's your turn, buddy. 1628 01:06:24,466 --> 01:06:25,667 Holy shit, boy! 1629 01:06:40,548 --> 01:06:41,784 What are you doing? 1630 01:06:41,817 --> 01:06:43,451 - We need to do this. - Do what? 1631 01:06:43,485 --> 01:06:44,120 - Dance. - Dan... 1632 01:06:44,153 --> 01:06:44,820 We're not dancing right now. 1633 01:06:44,854 --> 01:06:45,720 Yes, we are dancing right now. 1634 01:06:45,755 --> 01:06:47,655 - Yeah, we are. - No, we're not dancing. 1635 01:06:47,689 --> 01:06:48,891 - You know why? - Why? 1636 01:06:51,526 --> 01:06:52,895 What are they doing? 1637 01:06:55,730 --> 01:06:57,341 Always got your back, and you know it, man. 1638 01:06:57,365 --> 01:06:58,366 I've got your back. 1639 01:06:59,467 --> 01:07:00,467 I've got you. 1640 01:07:15,550 --> 01:07:19,387 No, I don't know why you're not there 1641 01:07:19,420 --> 01:07:23,092 I give you my love, but you don't care 1642 01:07:23,125 --> 01:07:26,929 So what is right and what is wrong? 1643 01:07:26,962 --> 01:07:29,064 Give me a sign 1644 01:07:29,098 --> 01:07:30,833 What is love? 1645 01:07:30,866 --> 01:07:33,401 Oh, baby, don't hurt me 1646 01:07:33,434 --> 01:07:36,839 Don't hurt me, no more 1647 01:07:36,872 --> 01:07:38,640 What is love? 1648 01:07:38,673 --> 01:07:40,976 Oh, baby, don't hurt me 1649 01:07:41,010 --> 01:07:44,345 Don't hurt me, no more 1650 01:08:05,801 --> 01:08:06,869 Lemon. 1651 01:08:09,805 --> 01:08:13,608 No, I don't know what can I do? 1652 01:08:13,641 --> 01:08:17,545 What else can I say? It's up to you 1653 01:08:17,579 --> 01:08:19,380 I know we're one... 1654 01:08:19,414 --> 01:08:20,883 I love you, Ace! 1655 01:08:20,916 --> 01:08:23,052 I can't go on 1656 01:08:23,919 --> 01:08:24,919 What is love? 1657 01:08:31,994 --> 01:08:33,128 Why do we not notice him? 1658 01:08:33,162 --> 01:08:35,463 Why can't we join in right now? 1659 01:08:35,496 --> 01:08:37,599 Ace, go Ace, go Ace... 1660 01:08:47,209 --> 01:08:48,443 What is love? 1661 01:09:00,890 --> 01:09:03,591 It's not about how hard you get hit. 1662 01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:06,161 It's about how fast you get back up. 1663 01:09:12,001 --> 01:09:12,600 I'm sorry, pal. 1664 01:09:12,634 --> 01:09:14,837 You did you did your best. 1665 01:09:14,870 --> 01:09:16,214 Man, I'm just trying to show love, bro. 1666 01:09:16,238 --> 01:09:19,108 Hey, funny little dude. 1667 01:09:19,141 --> 01:09:20,843 I didn't know you could dance like that. 1668 01:09:20,876 --> 01:09:22,686 Yeah, well, there's a lot of things we don't know 1669 01:09:22,710 --> 01:09:23,779 about each other, baby. 1670 01:09:25,613 --> 01:09:27,715 - I crossed the line. - You absolutely did. 1671 01:09:27,749 --> 01:09:29,493 - I can't call you, baby? - You definitely cannot. 1672 01:09:29,517 --> 01:09:31,120 You're right. 1673 01:09:31,153 --> 01:09:31,754 You're very right. 1674 01:09:31,787 --> 01:09:32,955 Can we start over, please? 1675 01:09:34,089 --> 01:09:35,690 Sure. 1676 01:09:35,723 --> 01:09:37,558 - Gilbert. - Ava. 1677 01:09:39,228 --> 01:09:40,561 - Would you like to dance? - Hi. 1678 01:09:42,497 --> 01:09:43,665 Have fun. 1679 01:10:03,852 --> 01:10:06,121 That was um... 1680 01:10:06,155 --> 01:10:08,190 It's was a lot of fun to watch. 1681 01:10:08,223 --> 01:10:08,891 Thank... thanks. 1682 01:10:08,924 --> 01:10:10,558 Yeah, I've worked on it a lot. 1683 01:10:10,591 --> 01:10:11,693 I can tell. 1684 01:10:13,728 --> 01:10:15,898 Do you want to dance? 1685 01:10:15,931 --> 01:10:18,133 You wa... you want to dance with me? 1686 01:10:18,167 --> 01:10:19,168 Yes. 1687 01:10:21,070 --> 01:10:22,838 Yeah, just give me one second. 1688 01:10:24,106 --> 01:10:24,974 Okay. 1689 01:10:25,007 --> 01:10:26,007 Cool. 1690 01:10:33,449 --> 01:10:34,826 Where the fuck did that dance routine come from? 1691 01:10:34,850 --> 01:10:36,227 Okay, so it's a game me and Neil play. 1692 01:10:36,251 --> 01:10:37,829 No, that is something you guys rehearsed. 1693 01:10:37,853 --> 01:10:38,619 No, see, no. 1694 01:10:38,653 --> 01:10:40,155 Your timing was tight. 1695 01:10:40,189 --> 01:10:41,866 I don't want y'all to think we just be in the rooms like... 1696 01:10:41,890 --> 01:10:43,567 You guys do that every night before you go to bed. 1697 01:10:43,591 --> 01:10:44,259 - 100% right? - No, no, no. 1698 01:10:44,293 --> 01:10:45,593 Do you know what I'm saying? 1699 01:10:45,626 --> 01:10:46,795 I believe you this much. 1700 01:10:54,203 --> 01:10:55,938 You're doing great. 1701 01:10:57,605 --> 01:10:58,605 You're doing great! 1702 01:11:06,647 --> 01:11:08,017 Sorry it had to be like this, bro. 1703 01:11:13,222 --> 01:11:15,157 Oh, my God! 1704 01:11:15,190 --> 01:11:16,557 Oh, my God! 1705 01:11:36,744 --> 01:11:38,313 Aw, man, gross! 1706 01:11:39,714 --> 01:11:40,548 Are you alright? 1707 01:11:40,581 --> 01:11:42,284 - That looked gnarly. - Fuck you, man! 1708 01:11:42,317 --> 01:11:43,318 Hey, whoa! 1709 01:11:43,352 --> 01:11:44,953 What the hell just happened? 1710 01:11:44,987 --> 01:11:46,331 They pushed the porta potty in the pool. 1711 01:11:46,355 --> 01:11:47,022 That's a lie. 1712 01:11:47,056 --> 01:11:47,655 Did you fuckin' do this, Chad? 1713 01:11:47,688 --> 01:11:49,224 What? Why would I do that? 1714 01:11:49,258 --> 01:11:50,691 This guy's our good friend, 1715 01:11:50,725 --> 01:11:52,361 not to mention hell of a dancer. 1716 01:11:52,394 --> 01:11:53,862 Aw, why would you do that? 1717 01:11:55,297 --> 01:11:56,899 Oh! 1718 01:11:56,932 --> 01:11:58,572 I'm not sorry it had to be like this, bro. 1719 01:12:01,203 --> 01:12:02,071 Freak! 1720 01:12:02,104 --> 01:12:02,938 This is nasty! 1721 01:12:02,971 --> 01:12:04,739 Get out! 1722 01:12:04,773 --> 01:12:06,141 Get out of my party right now. 1723 01:12:06,175 --> 01:12:07,815 - What the fuck did we do? - Just get out! 1724 01:12:09,710 --> 01:12:11,180 Hey, guys, five-O is here! 1725 01:12:11,213 --> 01:12:12,081 Five-O! 1726 01:12:12,114 --> 01:12:14,283 Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go! 1727 01:12:14,316 --> 01:12:16,118 Hey! Let's go! 1728 01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:18,920 Go! 1729 01:12:20,655 --> 01:12:21,655 Come on! 1730 01:12:24,827 --> 01:12:26,228 Gilbert, come on! 1731 01:12:29,898 --> 01:12:31,100 Oh, shit! 1732 01:12:34,269 --> 01:12:35,104 What are we gonna do? 1733 01:12:35,137 --> 01:12:37,039 Um, come on. 1734 01:12:37,738 --> 01:12:38,706 Come on, come on. 1735 01:12:38,739 --> 01:12:40,675 Wait for me, wait for me! 1736 01:12:40,708 --> 01:12:42,010 Goddamn it. 1737 01:12:42,044 --> 01:12:43,278 I miss high school parties. 1738 01:12:50,953 --> 01:12:51,953 Yes! 1739 01:12:59,761 --> 01:13:00,762 Let's do this. 1740 01:13:03,731 --> 01:13:04,833 That could use some oil. 1741 01:13:06,734 --> 01:13:08,454 What the fuck is wrong with the garage door? 1742 01:13:10,005 --> 01:13:11,273 Jesus Christ. 1743 01:13:12,274 --> 01:13:12,841 Look at these... 1744 01:13:12,875 --> 01:13:14,176 Yeah, this is a party. 1745 01:13:25,787 --> 01:13:27,587 That was that fat motherfucker from Food Mart. 1746 01:13:34,062 --> 01:13:35,831 Right? Right? 1747 01:13:35,864 --> 01:13:37,208 Don't you love the sound of those sirens? 1748 01:13:37,232 --> 01:13:38,867 Yeah, that's why I'm a cop. 1749 01:13:41,904 --> 01:13:43,114 I'm too young to go to jail, man. 1750 01:13:43,138 --> 01:13:46,241 Ain't going to jail, not on my watch. 1751 01:13:50,312 --> 01:13:52,881 - Want some? - Yeah. 1752 01:13:52,915 --> 01:13:54,983 I fuckin' didn't get to finish my shit earlier. 1753 01:13:56,451 --> 01:13:58,353 Could I have some of that soda, please? 1754 01:13:58,387 --> 01:13:59,454 No. 1755 01:14:09,998 --> 01:14:11,476 Oh, hey, did I tell you I was cutting out dairy? 1756 01:14:11,500 --> 01:14:12,267 Yeah. 1757 01:14:12,301 --> 01:14:13,235 I noticed. 1758 01:14:13,268 --> 01:14:14,102 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1759 01:14:14,136 --> 01:14:15,837 You ask for no cheese on the burger. 1760 01:14:15,871 --> 01:14:17,511 Yeah, I'm not fuckin' around anymore, man. 1761 01:14:24,146 --> 01:14:25,146 Goddamn. 1762 01:14:26,982 --> 01:14:28,817 Right? Right? 1763 01:14:33,255 --> 01:14:34,575 What the fuck are we gonna do now? 1764 01:14:40,862 --> 01:14:43,498 Sorry, kid, shit's about to get real complicated. 1765 01:14:46,001 --> 01:14:48,403 I will find them and I will kill them myself. 1766 01:14:50,138 --> 01:14:51,240 It's pretty good. 1767 01:14:55,177 --> 01:14:56,278 Fuck! 1768 01:14:56,311 --> 01:14:58,914 Why would you do that? 1769 01:14:58,947 --> 01:15:00,849 What is your problems, man? 1770 01:15:01,749 --> 01:15:03,285 There's only one way out of here, man. 1771 01:15:03,318 --> 01:15:04,519 We've got to get creative. 1772 01:15:04,553 --> 01:15:05,854 What you about to do, dumb-ass? 1773 01:15:05,887 --> 01:15:06,887 I'm sorry. 1774 01:15:07,155 --> 01:15:07,556 Yo. 1775 01:15:07,589 --> 01:15:09,224 Oh, fuck! 1776 01:15:09,258 --> 01:15:10,292 I'm sorry. 1777 01:15:10,325 --> 01:15:11,360 - Why? - Why? 1778 01:15:11,393 --> 01:15:12,394 - Why? - Sorry. 1779 01:15:12,427 --> 01:15:13,095 - Why? - Why? 1780 01:15:13,128 --> 01:15:14,796 - Why? - I don't know, man. 1781 01:15:14,830 --> 01:15:16,098 I'm sorry, man. 1782 01:15:16,131 --> 01:15:17,499 You just shot me. 1783 01:15:22,938 --> 01:15:24,840 - Why? - Shit, I don't know, man. 1784 01:15:24,873 --> 01:15:25,974 Why? 1785 01:15:26,008 --> 01:15:27,109 Oh, shit! 1786 01:15:28,277 --> 01:15:29,978 You happy? We've even now. 1787 01:15:30,012 --> 01:15:31,179 Why did you do that? 1788 01:15:31,213 --> 01:15:32,490 I don't know, I see why you was screaming. 1789 01:15:32,514 --> 01:15:34,316 That shit hurt. 1790 01:15:34,349 --> 01:15:35,517 You got to trust me. 1791 01:15:35,550 --> 01:15:37,519 Let me do the talking. 1792 01:15:37,552 --> 01:15:40,355 Do not say anything to the fucking cops, okay? 1793 01:15:40,389 --> 01:15:41,466 I mean this shit hurts, man. 1794 01:15:41,490 --> 01:15:42,557 Oh man, I know, nigga! 1795 01:15:42,591 --> 01:15:44,126 I just shot me! 1796 01:15:44,159 --> 01:15:45,427 I know. 1797 01:15:46,161 --> 01:15:49,231 Goddamnit man, I regret this! 1798 01:15:53,001 --> 01:15:54,001 Catch! 1799 01:15:57,606 --> 01:15:58,616 Sorry, ladies, that concludes the joyride portion 1800 01:15:58,640 --> 01:15:59,574 of your evening. 1801 01:15:59,608 --> 01:16:00,685 It's time to pay the piper. 1802 01:16:00,709 --> 01:16:01,910 Officer, help! 1803 01:16:01,943 --> 01:16:03,178 We've just been shot. 1804 01:16:03,211 --> 01:16:04,179 We need to go to the hospital. 1805 01:16:04,212 --> 01:16:06,615 This... this maniac just went apeshit on us! 1806 01:16:08,183 --> 01:16:11,019 Told you, inside job. 1807 01:16:11,053 --> 01:16:12,154 You're so good. 1808 01:16:13,288 --> 01:16:16,091 Oh, buddy, you know the drill. 1809 01:16:16,124 --> 01:16:17,025 Gun down on the ground. 1810 01:16:17,059 --> 01:16:18,927 Do it, now! 1811 01:16:18,960 --> 01:16:20,529 Lay down, Apu! 1812 01:16:20,562 --> 01:16:21,496 Do it, now! 1813 01:16:21,530 --> 01:16:22,864 Put the gun on the ground, Apu. 1814 01:16:22,898 --> 01:16:25,434 Do it, now! 1815 01:16:25,467 --> 01:16:26,968 I got a goddamn headache from that. 1816 01:16:29,504 --> 01:16:32,607 Forgot to give Summer her favourite chocolate. 1817 01:16:32,641 --> 01:16:35,010 Okay, and who cares? 1818 01:16:35,043 --> 01:16:35,610 It's chocolate. 1819 01:16:35,644 --> 01:16:36,978 She'll live without it. 1820 01:16:37,012 --> 01:16:38,246 Yeah, I guess she will. 1821 01:16:43,218 --> 01:16:44,319 What? 1822 01:16:47,356 --> 01:16:50,292 Neil, I know girls. 1823 01:16:50,325 --> 01:16:53,328 Okay, you know that I know girls. 1824 01:16:53,362 --> 01:16:56,131 Summer is a normal, down to earth, girl. 1825 01:16:56,164 --> 01:16:57,375 She doesn't give a shit about all the bullshit 1826 01:16:57,399 --> 01:16:59,501 you think she cares about. 1827 01:16:59,534 --> 01:17:01,670 And, you know what, Neil? 1828 01:17:01,703 --> 01:17:07,008 As much as I fuckin' hate saying this, you're kind of funny, 1829 01:17:07,042 --> 01:17:08,577 and you're a super-talented pervert, 1830 01:17:08,610 --> 01:17:10,045 so just go and fucking talk to her. 1831 01:17:15,584 --> 01:17:16,485 No fuckin' way. 1832 01:17:16,518 --> 01:17:19,254 Why not? What the fuck is wrong with you? 1833 01:17:19,287 --> 01:17:20,631 You've literally been beating off to Summer 1834 01:17:20,655 --> 01:17:22,624 for the past five years. 1835 01:17:22,657 --> 01:17:24,235 I'm not gonna let you give up now, needle dick. 1836 01:17:24,259 --> 01:17:25,127 Go and talk to her. 1837 01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:26,928 I'm not going back there. 1838 01:17:26,962 --> 01:17:27,662 She's sitting over there with... 1839 01:17:27,696 --> 01:17:29,231 with shit in her pool right now. 1840 01:17:29,264 --> 01:17:30,332 It's not the right time. 1841 01:17:32,033 --> 01:17:34,035 Can I tell you a secret? 1842 01:17:35,170 --> 01:17:37,973 The right time is now. 1843 01:17:38,006 --> 01:17:39,541 - Jaclyn, stop... - Now! 1844 01:17:39,574 --> 01:17:41,009 - I can't hit you back. - Go! 1845 01:17:41,042 --> 01:17:42,177 Stop hitting me. 1846 01:17:42,210 --> 01:17:44,045 Promise to talk to me, just don't hit me. 1847 01:17:44,679 --> 01:17:46,181 Okay, fine. 1848 01:17:46,214 --> 01:17:47,214 God. 1849 01:17:50,552 --> 01:17:51,987 Just go! 1850 01:17:52,554 --> 01:17:53,422 Fuck! 1851 01:17:53,455 --> 01:17:54,455 Okay. 1852 01:17:55,157 --> 01:17:57,292 Fine! 1853 01:17:57,325 --> 01:17:58,326 Alright, see ya later. 1854 01:18:07,235 --> 01:18:08,603 Fucking clean up my own party. 1855 01:18:08,637 --> 01:18:09,637 Jesus. 1856 01:18:12,407 --> 01:18:13,508 Hey! 1857 01:18:15,644 --> 01:18:17,512 Can I help you? 1858 01:18:17,546 --> 01:18:19,047 No, I live here. 1859 01:18:20,248 --> 01:18:21,516 Can I help you? 1860 01:18:21,550 --> 01:18:23,218 I... it's just... it's a mess out here, 1861 01:18:23,251 --> 01:18:25,020 so I figured you could use some help. 1862 01:18:25,053 --> 01:18:27,355 No, I just want to be alone. 1863 01:18:27,389 --> 01:18:28,389 Thanks. 1864 01:18:32,795 --> 01:18:35,664 I brought you a birthday present. 1865 01:18:38,533 --> 01:18:39,634 Those are my favourite. 1866 01:18:42,170 --> 01:18:42,671 How'd you know? 1867 01:18:42,704 --> 01:18:43,705 Are you stalking me? 1868 01:18:44,573 --> 01:18:46,041 Yeah. 1869 01:18:46,074 --> 01:18:47,742 No, no. 1870 01:18:47,777 --> 01:18:50,712 No, really, I... I mean, like, I've been through your Instagram 1871 01:18:50,745 --> 01:18:55,050 and ha-harmless online stuff, but not, uh, not drive-bys 1872 01:18:55,083 --> 01:18:57,085 or anything, anything wild. 1873 01:18:57,719 --> 01:18:58,754 Okay. 1874 01:19:00,622 --> 01:19:03,291 As long as it's just Instagram stalking. 1875 01:19:06,127 --> 01:19:07,162 Cheers! 1876 01:19:14,236 --> 01:19:17,072 Oh, wow, you got, um, 1877 01:19:17,105 --> 01:19:19,174 you've got like a lot of chocolate in your teeth. 1878 01:19:19,207 --> 01:19:20,609 Oh! 1879 01:19:20,642 --> 01:19:23,245 It kind of looks like you took a swim in my pool, Neil. 1880 01:19:23,278 --> 01:19:24,278 Sorry. 1881 01:19:27,249 --> 01:19:29,050 What'd you just call me? 1882 01:19:29,084 --> 01:19:30,084 Neil. 1883 01:19:30,218 --> 01:19:32,220 It's your name, right? 1884 01:19:32,687 --> 01:19:33,722 Um... 1885 01:19:35,690 --> 01:19:36,691 What's wrong? 1886 01:19:44,132 --> 01:19:45,367 What is it? 1887 01:19:47,235 --> 01:19:48,103 Nothing, nothing. 1888 01:19:48,136 --> 01:19:50,705 Um, no I'm fine. 1889 01:19:51,573 --> 01:19:53,141 Mm-kay. 1890 01:19:54,342 --> 01:19:58,680 You know what really pisses me off about all of this? 1891 01:19:58,713 --> 01:20:00,115 None of this was even for me. 1892 01:20:01,483 --> 01:20:03,285 It was for everyone else, 1893 01:20:03,685 --> 01:20:05,396 because if it was for me I would have just gone to dinner 1894 01:20:05,420 --> 01:20:06,454 with a bunch of friends. 1895 01:20:07,857 --> 01:20:10,125 Girls really just have it harder than guys do. 1896 01:20:10,158 --> 01:20:11,359 No offense. 1897 01:20:12,594 --> 01:20:14,238 Because we're always trying to please people 1898 01:20:14,262 --> 01:20:17,499 and avoid the aggressive douchebags like Chad 1899 01:20:17,532 --> 01:20:19,534 and this new guy named Ace. 1900 01:20:19,568 --> 01:20:20,568 Hmm. 1901 01:20:20,836 --> 01:20:22,137 Dick. 1902 01:20:22,170 --> 01:20:24,807 I hate dicks, but to be honest with you, 1903 01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:28,543 sometimes I wish I had one, a dick, like a bigass dick, 1904 01:20:28,577 --> 01:20:30,154 'cause I think that it would just make my life 1905 01:20:30,178 --> 01:20:31,179 so much easier. 1906 01:20:31,212 --> 01:20:32,213 A bigass dick. 1907 01:20:34,817 --> 01:20:38,620 I don't know if you need a... a bigass dick, um. 1908 01:20:38,653 --> 01:20:39,822 I hate bigass dicks. 1909 01:20:39,855 --> 01:20:41,389 I... I hate dicks in general. 1910 01:20:41,423 --> 01:20:45,160 I mean, my crazy sister always says that 1911 01:20:45,193 --> 01:20:47,228 her gender's always had it rougher 1912 01:20:47,262 --> 01:20:48,774 because historically they've been treated 1913 01:20:48,798 --> 01:20:49,799 more poorly, so... 1914 01:20:49,832 --> 01:20:50,365 Hmm. 1915 01:20:50,398 --> 01:20:51,466 I'm-I'm on your side. 1916 01:20:51,499 --> 01:20:52,200 I'm on your team. 1917 01:20:52,233 --> 01:20:53,233 Who needs dicks? 1918 01:20:54,369 --> 01:20:55,303 It's good to know. 1919 01:20:55,337 --> 01:20:56,538 Size doesn't really matter. 1920 01:20:59,708 --> 01:21:00,876 Mm. 1921 01:21:03,813 --> 01:21:05,714 Are you hungry, 1922 01:21:05,747 --> 01:21:08,149 because I know a great place we could go. 1923 01:21:11,353 --> 01:21:12,922 - There you guys go. - Yeah, thank you. 1924 01:21:12,955 --> 01:21:15,357 And don't forget that catfish jelly is really great on it. 1925 01:21:15,390 --> 01:21:16,390 But not too much. 1926 01:21:17,425 --> 01:21:18,159 Neil? 1927 01:21:18,193 --> 01:21:19,160 Hi! 1928 01:21:19,194 --> 01:21:19,895 Hey, Dad. 1929 01:21:19,929 --> 01:21:21,730 Um, this... this is Summer. 1930 01:21:21,764 --> 01:21:22,497 Hi. 1931 01:21:22,530 --> 01:21:24,599 Summer, hey. 1932 01:21:24,633 --> 01:21:26,368 Uh, your girlfriend? 1933 01:21:26,401 --> 01:21:27,903 Nope, nope, just hanging out. 1934 01:21:27,937 --> 01:21:30,906 We've just, uh, we... we just came for food. 1935 01:21:30,940 --> 01:21:32,674 Oh... okay. 1936 01:21:32,707 --> 01:21:35,543 So a couple of Tobbler Specials for you maybe, huh? 1937 01:21:35,577 --> 01:21:36,711 Perfect. 1938 01:21:36,745 --> 01:21:37,947 - Sound good? - Great. 1939 01:21:37,980 --> 01:21:38,948 Okay. 1940 01:21:38,981 --> 01:21:40,382 Oh, and by the way, 1941 01:21:40,415 --> 01:21:42,283 I fixed the lock on the bathroom door for you, 1942 01:21:42,317 --> 01:21:44,319 so you can stop bitchin' about that. 1943 01:21:45,553 --> 01:21:46,822 Cool. 1944 01:21:46,856 --> 01:21:47,957 You're gonna get the... 1945 01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:49,550 you we're gonna make the waffles, right? 1946 01:21:50,826 --> 01:21:52,193 Let me get that, yeah. 1947 01:21:52,227 --> 01:21:52,828 - Whenever you get- - SUMMER: Thank you. 1948 01:21:52,862 --> 01:21:54,229 Yeah, something special. 1949 01:21:54,262 --> 01:21:55,730 - You're gonna love it. - Thank you! 1950 01:21:55,765 --> 01:21:57,298 Alright. 1951 01:21:57,332 --> 01:21:59,401 Is the bathroom lock like a frequent issue for you? 1952 01:21:59,434 --> 01:22:00,912 Oh, no, it's a big problem in my family, yeah. 1953 01:22:00,936 --> 01:22:04,239 My dad is the most embarrassing person, uh, in the world. 1954 01:22:04,272 --> 01:22:06,608 - He was sweet. He loves you. - His goal. His goal. 1955 01:22:06,641 --> 01:22:07,542 Oh, my God, are you kidding? 1956 01:22:07,575 --> 01:22:08,686 I wish my parents would embarrass me. 1957 01:22:08,710 --> 01:22:11,513 All they want from me is for me to go into medicine, 1958 01:22:11,546 --> 01:22:13,983 which is like fifteen years of torture. 1959 01:22:14,016 --> 01:22:17,352 So I'm gonna take a year off and travel around the world 1960 01:22:17,385 --> 01:22:19,421 and then do the cliché backpacking across Europe 1961 01:22:19,454 --> 01:22:21,389 to find myself. 1962 01:22:21,423 --> 01:22:22,457 The world? 1963 01:22:22,490 --> 01:22:25,861 That, uh, that's... that's ambitious. 1964 01:22:25,895 --> 01:22:27,362 Thank God for FaceTime. 1965 01:22:28,496 --> 01:22:29,597 Why? 1966 01:22:29,631 --> 01:22:33,401 You know, so we can, uh, keep in touch 1967 01:22:33,435 --> 01:22:35,871 and look at each other's faces. 1968 01:22:40,475 --> 01:22:41,475 Well, what about you? 1969 01:22:42,978 --> 01:22:44,312 - With my life? - Yeah. 1970 01:22:45,948 --> 01:22:49,651 I... I don't know. 1971 01:22:50,351 --> 01:22:51,954 That's so hot. 1972 01:22:51,987 --> 01:22:54,456 Nothing gets me going more than a guy with no direction. 1973 01:22:57,760 --> 01:22:59,637 Uh, well I got a... I got a scholarship to Cal Arts, 1974 01:22:59,661 --> 01:23:03,431 and I, I love to draw, but I just don't... I don't think 1975 01:23:03,465 --> 01:23:06,969 I can make money with my style of drawing. 1976 01:23:07,002 --> 01:23:08,403 Hmm. 1977 01:23:08,436 --> 01:23:10,005 The scholarship is amazing. 1978 01:23:10,039 --> 01:23:13,675 Plus I see you drawing on your iPad all the time at school. 1979 01:23:13,708 --> 01:23:15,978 You... you notice me drawing? 1980 01:23:16,011 --> 01:23:18,279 We've been going to school together for years. 1981 01:23:18,313 --> 01:23:19,380 I'm not blind. 1982 01:23:23,052 --> 01:23:24,452 Can I see your drawings? 1983 01:23:25,353 --> 01:23:26,354 No. 1984 01:23:26,989 --> 01:23:30,760 No, I just-I just, I don't show them to anyone, 1985 01:23:30,793 --> 01:23:33,829 'cause they're sort of X-rated and they... 1986 01:23:33,863 --> 01:23:35,430 they might make me come off as a psycho. 1987 01:23:35,463 --> 01:23:36,674 Stop being such a fucking pussy. 1988 01:23:36,698 --> 01:23:38,633 Just show it to me. 1989 01:23:38,666 --> 01:23:39,634 You'd freak out. 1990 01:23:39,667 --> 01:23:40,770 I would not freak out. 1991 01:23:40,803 --> 01:23:41,771 You would freak out. 1992 01:23:41,804 --> 01:23:44,840 What about me says that I'm gonna freak out? 1993 01:23:44,874 --> 01:23:46,776 You promise you won't freak out? 1994 01:23:46,809 --> 01:23:48,443 Swear on my life! 1995 01:23:58,386 --> 01:23:59,789 Promise, you promise? 1996 01:23:59,822 --> 01:24:01,942 Oh, yes, I promise. I promise, I promise, I promise... 1997 01:24:17,639 --> 01:24:19,307 Can I ask you a personal question, Jimmy? 1998 01:24:19,809 --> 01:24:20,809 Hmm? 1999 01:24:22,377 --> 01:24:23,846 What does pussy feel like? 2000 01:24:25,815 --> 01:24:27,983 Like putting your dick in some mashed potatoes. 2001 01:24:29,151 --> 01:24:30,151 Hmm. 2002 01:24:31,386 --> 01:24:32,554 Yeah. 2003 01:24:33,856 --> 01:24:35,356 Can I tell you something? 2004 01:24:35,390 --> 01:24:36,457 Mm-hmm. 2005 01:24:38,828 --> 01:24:40,930 It's been the best birthday I ever had, man. 2006 01:24:43,598 --> 01:24:44,699 I'm sorry. 2007 01:24:45,968 --> 01:24:47,102 It's okay. 2008 01:24:59,747 --> 01:25:01,016 I've just, uh, 2009 01:25:01,050 --> 01:25:04,619 had a crush on you for a... a really... 2010 01:25:04,652 --> 01:25:07,022 Neil, just shut up and kiss me and finger me simultaneously. 2011 01:25:11,593 --> 01:25:14,562 You're... fucking with me right now. 2012 01:25:14,596 --> 01:25:16,098 Yes, I'm fucking with you. 2013 01:25:16,131 --> 01:25:17,776 - See I knew that. - You sick porn twisted boy! 2014 01:25:17,800 --> 01:25:18,499 I know, I know. 2015 01:25:18,533 --> 01:25:19,201 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2016 01:25:19,235 --> 01:25:20,535 Who the fuck talks like that? 2017 01:25:20,568 --> 01:25:22,137 I know, I... didn't, I don't even... 2018 01:25:22,171 --> 01:25:25,841 I have never used the word pussy that many times in my life. 2019 01:25:25,875 --> 01:25:29,644 Jesus, you really know how to make a girl swoon. 2020 01:25:29,677 --> 01:25:32,547 You know I was gonna invite you to my birthday party. 2021 01:25:32,580 --> 01:25:33,581 Really? 2022 01:25:33,615 --> 01:25:35,084 Yeah. 2023 01:25:35,117 --> 01:25:39,088 But then you puked on me in front of everyone, so. 2024 01:25:39,121 --> 01:25:39,889 Yeah. 2025 01:25:39,922 --> 01:25:41,422 Uh... 2026 01:25:42,892 --> 01:25:43,993 Sorry about that. 2027 01:25:47,897 --> 01:25:48,998 I actually don't... 2028 01:25:49,031 --> 01:25:50,175 I actually don't watch that much porn. 2029 01:25:50,199 --> 01:25:50,866 - I just... - You don't? 2030 01:25:50,900 --> 01:25:52,667 - No. - Well, 'cause I do. 2031 01:25:54,136 --> 01:25:55,971 - You do? - Yeah. 2032 01:25:57,505 --> 01:25:59,942 I can give you passwords. 2033 01:25:59,975 --> 01:26:02,135 You are so much more fucked up than I thought you'd be. 2034 01:26:05,948 --> 01:26:07,983 Which actually makes you kind of... 2035 01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:13,756 Kind of... kind of what? 2036 01:26:15,791 --> 01:26:17,092 Cool. 2037 01:26:28,670 --> 01:26:29,905 Cool. 2038 01:27:47,049 --> 01:27:50,119 I don't understand why I'm the one with handcuffs right now? 2039 01:27:50,152 --> 01:27:52,121 I don't see any bullet holes in you, Apu. 139686

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