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1
00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:58,900
No.
2
00:02:05,174 --> 00:02:06,809
Get your face up!
3
00:02:06,842 --> 00:02:08,042
- Leave her alone, man.
- Chad.
4
00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:09,509
Chad!
5
00:02:10,511 --> 00:02:11,646
- Hmm.
- No!
6
00:02:11,679 --> 00:02:12,447
Bingo!
7
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:13,816
No, no, not...
8
00:02:15,450 --> 00:02:16,785
Would somebody help me, please?
9
00:02:16,819 --> 00:02:17,552
Help!
10
00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:18,954
Help, help, help, please!
11
00:02:20,122 --> 00:02:21,957
- Please!
- Dude took Summer.
12
00:02:21,991 --> 00:02:23,424
Oh, that's a shame, man.
13
00:02:23,458 --> 00:02:24,668
I mean she wasn't really
gonna fuck you anyway.
14
00:02:24,692 --> 00:02:25,327
Wait!
15
00:02:25,361 --> 00:02:26,328
We... we gotta do something!
16
00:02:26,362 --> 00:02:27,739
- Do what? Man has a fucking gun!
- I can't sit...
17
00:02:27,763 --> 00:02:29,765
That is a weapon,
he will kill us.
18
00:02:29,798 --> 00:02:31,609
- Do you want to die, Neil?
- No, I don't want to die.
19
00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:33,111
Do you want to die a virgin,
Neil? I don't.
20
00:02:33,135 --> 00:02:34,980
I mean, I'm not saying
I'm a virgin, I'm just saying...
21
00:02:35,004 --> 00:02:36,081
Okay, look,
I've got to do something.
22
00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:38,173
But, like, Summer doesn't even
know you exist, man.
23
00:02:38,207 --> 00:02:39,574
- Don't be a hero.
- No.
24
00:02:40,742 --> 00:02:41,742
No, no.
25
00:02:43,611 --> 00:02:44,611
Shit!
26
00:02:49,484 --> 00:02:51,186
Rest in peace, Mr. Lincoln.
27
00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:53,721
You're a kind man
and a damn good bus driver.
28
00:03:00,996 --> 00:03:02,236
You just drive over Mr. Lincoln?
29
00:03:02,264 --> 00:03:04,465
Ah, there's a chance, yeah.
30
00:03:07,803 --> 00:03:09,805
Alright, quick, grab me some
Coke and some Mentos.
31
00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:10,672
What the fuck?
32
00:03:10,705 --> 00:03:11,273
Where am I supposed to get
that from?
33
00:03:11,307 --> 00:03:13,142
I don't know, just do it!
34
00:03:13,175 --> 00:03:14,442
Shit!
35
00:03:16,577 --> 00:03:17,012
Here.
36
00:03:17,046 --> 00:03:18,046
Nice!
37
00:03:20,115 --> 00:03:21,216
Shit!
38
00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:22,217
Alright, grab the wheel,
grab the wheel!
39
00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:23,795
Fuck, no! I'm not grabbing
the fucking wheel!
40
00:03:23,819 --> 00:03:24,585
Yeah, you're gonna grab
the wheel.
41
00:03:24,619 --> 00:03:25,921
I need to get closer to the van.
42
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:30,192
Get me closer.
43
00:03:30,225 --> 00:03:31,794
I'm going!
44
00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:35,831
Out of the way!
45
00:03:41,904 --> 00:03:43,238
Oh, fuck!
46
00:03:59,288 --> 00:04:00,255
Oh, fuck!
47
00:04:00,289 --> 00:04:01,056
What the fuck, Neil!
48
00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:02,090
Are you fucking crazy?
49
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:08,595
Fuck!
50
00:04:19,208 --> 00:04:20,208
Fuck!
51
00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:23,111
Shit!
52
00:04:39,194 --> 00:04:40,429
Please be okay.
53
00:04:40,462 --> 00:04:42,942
I just don't have time to look
for a new best friend right now.
54
00:04:53,842 --> 00:04:54,810
You're a hero!
55
00:04:54,843 --> 00:04:57,179
Yeah, that's my best mother
fuckin' friend!
56
00:04:57,212 --> 00:04:58,280
Way to go, bro!
57
00:05:00,282 --> 00:05:01,283
You're the man, Neil!
58
00:05:01,316 --> 00:05:03,718
You saved me, Neil.
59
00:05:03,752 --> 00:05:05,054
You know my name.
60
00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:06,121
Of course, I do.
61
00:05:07,289 --> 00:05:10,092
I've had my eye on you
for a while.
62
00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:12,593
You give me butterflies.
63
00:05:12,627 --> 00:05:14,029
- Really?
- Yeah.
64
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,596
- Me?
- You.
65
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,336
Now kiss me...
66
00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:24,139
and...
67
00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:26,041
and simultaneously finger me.
68
00:05:26,942 --> 00:05:28,343
Your wish is my command.
69
00:05:29,812 --> 00:05:30,846
Perfect!
70
00:05:50,065 --> 00:05:51,233
Can you please fucking knock?
71
00:05:51,266 --> 00:05:51,967
Jesus!
72
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,835
Relax needle dick.
73
00:05:52,868 --> 00:05:54,145
I just need to borrow
your charger.
74
00:05:54,169 --> 00:05:56,181
No, you're not gonna borrow it,
you're gonna fucking steal it.
75
00:05:56,205 --> 00:05:56,972
Virgin!
76
00:05:57,005 --> 00:05:58,974
Can you... you just...
77
00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:01,210
Mom,
can I please get my own bathroom?
78
00:06:01,243 --> 00:06:04,079
It's like Neil's fucking
cum cave in there.
79
00:06:04,113 --> 00:06:05,814
First day of
school, are we all excited?
80
00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:07,349
Yeah, extremely.
81
00:06:07,382 --> 00:06:10,752
Dad, can you please fix
the lock on the bathroom?
82
00:06:10,786 --> 00:06:13,222
And Mom, Jaclyn keeps losing her
chargers and stealing mine.
83
00:06:13,255 --> 00:06:15,357
I will get the door fixed today,
I hope.
84
00:06:15,390 --> 00:06:16,390
Yeah.
85
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:19,370
Oh, Mom, I'm spending the night
at Madison's tonight.
86
00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:21,439
Oh, yeah, can you rephrase that
as a question, please?
87
00:06:21,463 --> 00:06:22,865
And we don't eat this as a...
88
00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:26,235
May I please sleep over
at Madison's?
89
00:06:26,268 --> 00:06:27,668
You may.
90
00:06:29,838 --> 00:06:31,140
Excuse me?
91
00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:31,974
Breakfast is served.
92
00:06:32,007 --> 00:06:33,108
Here we go, come on.
93
00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,843
Wait.
94
00:06:34,877 --> 00:06:36,245
Waffles again?
95
00:06:36,278 --> 00:06:38,847
Oh, man, I've got cacao banana
and saffron blueberry.
96
00:06:38,881 --> 00:06:39,714
I'm good, Dad.
97
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:40,349
- Dad, I'm good.
- Oh, they're tasty.
98
00:06:40,382 --> 00:06:41,550
Dad, Daddy, I'm good, too.
99
00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:42,251
- I don't want waffles again.
- No, no, no, nobody's good.
100
00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:44,719
We're gonna sit down together
101
00:06:44,753 --> 00:06:46,231
and eat your father's delicious
breakfast as a family.
102
00:06:46,255 --> 00:06:47,322
Let's go.
103
00:06:47,356 --> 00:06:50,025
I mean even if it's only
for five second,
104
00:06:50,058 --> 00:06:50,893
that's what we're doing.
Understand?
105
00:06:50,926 --> 00:06:52,027
- Okay, Mom.
- Yes.
106
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:52,861
- Alright, alright.
- Okay, good.
107
00:06:52,895 --> 00:06:54,062
Yes.
108
00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:55,964
- Here you go, dear.
- Thank you.
109
00:07:04,806 --> 00:07:05,774
You know this is really nice...
110
00:07:05,807 --> 00:07:06,341
I gotta go.
111
00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:07,176
I really gotta go.
112
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,076
I'm sorry,
I'm gonna miss the bus.
113
00:07:08,110 --> 00:07:09,044
Do you remember
where you put my bike?
114
00:07:09,077 --> 00:07:11,113
- I stuck it in the garage...
- Thank you, Dad.
115
00:07:11,146 --> 00:07:12,257
- Okay, thank you,
- Love you, Mom.
116
00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:13,801
- Okay, love you guys!
- Love you, too.
117
00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:16,484
I have five seconds.
118
00:07:17,953 --> 00:07:19,087
Wait!
119
00:07:20,522 --> 00:07:22,357
You can find me, come on.
120
00:07:27,329 --> 00:07:27,930
Morning, Neil!
121
00:07:27,963 --> 00:07:29,431
Still riding the bus, huh?
122
00:07:29,464 --> 00:07:31,366
Yeah, keeping you employed,
Mr. Lincoln.
123
00:07:34,303 --> 00:07:37,139
Looks good, can I have some?
124
00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:39,007
Um, alright.
125
00:07:40,175 --> 00:07:41,176
I guess.
126
00:07:59,328 --> 00:08:00,329
Hey!
127
00:08:17,045 --> 00:08:19,047
Thank you. Bye, sweetie.
128
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:19,982
Oh, my God.
129
00:08:20,015 --> 00:08:21,283
It's gonna be amazing.
130
00:08:21,316 --> 00:08:22,651
I know.
131
00:08:27,155 --> 00:08:29,558
Remember it is your senior year,
132
00:08:29,591 --> 00:08:33,295
so we are helping raise money
for the Shape-A-Wish Foundation.
133
00:08:33,328 --> 00:08:36,531
Please speak to me if you would
like to make a contribution
134
00:08:36,565 --> 00:08:38,734
or raise your hand
if you have any questions.
135
00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:43,972
Love the enthusiasm.
136
00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:45,407
Just a dying child.
137
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,844
I'd say one thing I'd wish for
is for high school
138
00:08:48,877 --> 00:08:51,013
to finally be over.
139
00:08:51,046 --> 00:08:53,548
Yeah, you should make
the wish at eleven-eleven,
140
00:08:53,582 --> 00:08:55,284
save us all from this misery.
141
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,352
Ionic bonds
are the kind of bond,
142
00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:58,496
the kind of chemical bond...
143
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,089
Why would I waste my time
doing that?
144
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,124
Why not?
145
00:09:02,157 --> 00:09:04,226
I know this kid in, uh,
Cambodia.
146
00:09:04,259 --> 00:09:05,303
He actually wished
for his village to have
147
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,828
clean drinking water.
148
00:09:06,862 --> 00:09:07,863
It came true.
149
00:09:09,498 --> 00:09:11,867
So if anyone makes a wish
at eleven-eleven,
150
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,502
it just comes true...
151
00:09:13,535 --> 00:09:15,046
What the hell
are we all still doing here?
152
00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:18,273
Well, maybe some of us
are here to learn, Neil.
153
00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,941
Are you getting something
from this?
154
00:09:19,975 --> 00:09:21,410
Covalent bonds,
155
00:09:21,443 --> 00:09:23,354
you don't have to worry about
using your math skills.
156
00:09:23,378 --> 00:09:24,479
There is a catch, though.
157
00:09:24,513 --> 00:09:25,881
What?
158
00:09:25,914 --> 00:09:27,025
The universe has to agree
with your wish.
159
00:09:27,049 --> 00:09:28,893
Something that only lasts
for about twenty-four hours.
160
00:09:28,917 --> 00:09:31,253
Everything resets the very next
night at eleven-eleven.
161
00:09:31,286 --> 00:09:33,922
Complex acids are the ones you
want to stay away from.
162
00:09:33,955 --> 00:09:36,325
Those are the ones that are
going to burn your face off.
163
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,059
Look it up, man.
164
00:09:37,092 --> 00:09:38,093
Google don't lie.
165
00:09:38,126 --> 00:09:39,126
Binary acid...
166
00:09:40,395 --> 00:09:41,430
Sorry I'm late.
167
00:09:41,463 --> 00:09:42,331
Thank you, Summer.
168
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:43,465
Back there, please.
169
00:09:43,498 --> 00:09:45,434
Combined together,
170
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:49,304
they are dangerous and they
smell really bad.
171
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,649
So you guys are both invited
to my birthday party tomorrow.
172
00:09:51,673 --> 00:09:53,275
- Awesome, you look nice.
- Thanks.
173
00:09:55,243 --> 00:09:57,913
On page 340,
we'll be looking at the evolution...
174
00:10:05,987 --> 00:10:07,556
- 'Sup, guys.
- What's up?
175
00:10:07,589 --> 00:10:09,424
Yo.
176
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,669
So did you hear your girl Summer
is having a party this weekend?
177
00:10:11,693 --> 00:10:13,895
- Everyone's talking about it.
- Mm-hmm.
178
00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:14,929
Hey, Madison.
179
00:10:15,130 --> 00:10:17,332
- Hi.
- How you doing?
180
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:21,069
I might have heard something
about that, yeah.
181
00:10:21,103 --> 00:10:22,337
So are you gonna go?
182
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,473
Not invited... yet.
183
00:10:24,506 --> 00:10:25,507
Yeah.
184
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:27,576
Why don't you just ask,
185
00:10:27,609 --> 00:10:30,078
because I did
and I got a pineapple.
186
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,647
I'll think about it.
187
00:10:32,681 --> 00:10:34,516
Neil,
she might actually like you.
188
00:10:34,549 --> 00:10:35,517
But how would you know?
189
00:10:35,550 --> 00:10:37,195
You've literally never talked
to her before
190
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:40,021
or made any contact whatsoever.
191
00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,190
What's the worst you think
could happen?
192
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,035
That's actually
really good advice.
193
00:10:44,059 --> 00:10:45,394
I'm gonna take your advice.
194
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:48,029
Maddy, would you like
to my girl for cuffing season?
195
00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:49,197
You wish.
196
00:10:49,698 --> 00:10:50,465
Yeah, she wants me.
197
00:10:50,499 --> 00:10:51,733
Oh, my God.
198
00:10:51,768 --> 00:10:54,603
You know I hate to agree with
Jaclyn, but she's right, man.
199
00:10:54,636 --> 00:10:55,971
Just do it.
200
00:10:56,004 --> 00:10:57,148
I'm serious,
just go over there and ask.
201
00:10:57,172 --> 00:10:58,073
Let's just try it, me and you.
202
00:10:58,106 --> 00:10:59,574
We've got this.
203
00:10:59,608 --> 00:11:00,952
No, I'm not gonna go over there
and ask her for anything.
204
00:11:00,976 --> 00:11:01,543
Come on, man.
205
00:11:01,576 --> 00:11:02,677
I'm... I'm dead serious.
206
00:11:02,711 --> 00:11:04,212
Come on, come on, Neil.
207
00:11:04,246 --> 00:11:05,623
Come on, come on, you've got to
take the risk.
208
00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:07,182
No, dude,
what am I gonna say to her?
209
00:11:07,215 --> 00:11:07,850
Neil, you're over thinking it.
210
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:09,217
Just breathe, just breathe.
211
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,952
I can't, I have nothing to say.
212
00:11:10,986 --> 00:11:11,520
I think I...
213
00:11:11,553 --> 00:11:12,587
Uh, hey, Summer.
214
00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:14,222
Yes.
215
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:16,234
Uh, my friend Neil would like
to ask you a question.
216
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,359
Okay.
217
00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:21,096
Um, I... I was just gonna say...
218
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,764
Oh, my...
219
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,566
So, Ava, do you want to be
my girl for cuffing season?
220
00:11:51,526 --> 00:11:53,261
I don't want to see anyone
right now.
221
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,465
Yeah, I know,
but Gilbert's here.
222
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,543
Great, I said I don't want to
see anyone right now...
223
00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:01,169
Too bad now, I'm already here.
224
00:12:01,203 --> 00:12:02,170
See ya later, guys.
225
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:03,538
Looking good, Mrs. Tobbler.
226
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:04,706
I don't feel like dancing.
227
00:12:11,079 --> 00:12:13,081
That's right, good dance!
228
00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:14,115
I can't do it, man.
229
00:12:14,149 --> 00:12:15,517
I can't go back to school.
230
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,285
And left.
231
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,496
I need to go in like the witness
protection program or something
232
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,187
and get a new identify.
233
00:12:19,221 --> 00:12:20,655
I can't... I can't handle it.
234
00:12:20,689 --> 00:12:22,023
You've got this.
235
00:12:22,057 --> 00:12:23,625
Well look, as your real friend,
236
00:12:23,658 --> 00:12:25,126
quite frankly, your only friend.
237
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:26,027
You're not my only friend.
238
00:12:26,061 --> 00:12:26,595
Alright now.
239
00:12:26,628 --> 00:12:27,763
Who's your other friend?
240
00:12:27,797 --> 00:12:29,097
Uh, Brad.
241
00:12:29,130 --> 00:12:30,800
- Brad from preschool?
- Yeah.
242
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,201
Yeah, cool, so as your only
friend I'm always gonna keep it
243
00:12:33,235 --> 00:12:34,402
a hundred, man.
244
00:12:34,436 --> 00:12:36,113
I'm not gonna act like today
wasn't actually rock bottom,
245
00:12:36,137 --> 00:12:37,672
which it was.
246
00:12:37,706 --> 00:12:39,217
I mean, I'm actually here
on suicide watch.
247
00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:40,685
I don't want to see you
hang yourself with some
248
00:12:40,709 --> 00:12:42,453
plastic bag from the ceiling fan
or some shit.
249
00:12:42,477 --> 00:12:43,554
I've seen that shit on YouTube.
250
00:12:43,578 --> 00:12:44,513
That shit ain't pretty.
251
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,047
Appreciate it.
252
00:12:46,081 --> 00:12:47,425
You're... you're really helping
me to feel better.
253
00:12:47,449 --> 00:12:50,085
What's the one thing we learned
from eighteen "Rocky" movies?
254
00:12:50,118 --> 00:12:53,221
Um, Rocky never threw up
on his dream girl?
255
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:54,523
No.
256
00:12:54,556 --> 00:12:56,391
It's not about how hard you
get hit.
257
00:12:56,424 --> 00:12:58,193
It's about how quick
you get back up.
258
00:12:58,226 --> 00:13:00,796
And move, and move.
259
00:13:01,663 --> 00:13:03,198
You are excellent!
260
00:13:03,231 --> 00:13:05,367
This is too hard a hit to come
back from, man.
261
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,778
I'm never gonna get invited
to a party now.
262
00:13:06,802 --> 00:13:08,603
No.
263
00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:10,414
I'm not gonna get invited
anywhere near her ever again
264
00:13:10,438 --> 00:13:11,106
most likely, like ever.
265
00:13:11,139 --> 00:13:12,741
Ever's a long time. Not ever.
266
00:13:12,775 --> 00:13:13,675
No, like for eternity,
like ever.
267
00:13:13,708 --> 00:13:15,076
Come on, man, no.
268
00:13:15,110 --> 00:13:16,678
No, like the afterlife
and thereafter.
269
00:13:16,711 --> 00:13:17,512
- No.
- Yeah.
270
00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:18,680
- No.
- Yeah.
271
00:13:18,713 --> 00:13:19,514
Come on, team!
272
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:20,215
No!
273
00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:20,917
That's what I'm saying, yeah.
274
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:22,317
It can't be that bad, man. No.
275
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:23,084
Yes, it's that bad.
276
00:13:23,118 --> 00:13:24,286
- Yes.
- No.
277
00:13:24,319 --> 00:13:25,086
- Yeah.
- No.
278
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:25,554
- Yeah.
- No.
279
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:26,221
- Yeah.
- No.
280
00:13:26,254 --> 00:13:26,655
- Yeah.
- No.
281
00:13:26,688 --> 00:13:27,522
- Yeah.
- No.
282
00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:28,566
- Yes.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
283
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:29,558
You guys should ache.
284
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,591
It's bad.
285
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:39,167
Every time I see my neighbour,
he's in a different Porsche
286
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,870
with a different woman.
287
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,737
That is a lot of ass
for one man.
288
00:13:43,806 --> 00:13:44,806
Damn.
289
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:49,744
I just can't compete
with guys like Chad and Matt.
290
00:13:51,814 --> 00:13:53,181
We have different market shares.
291
00:13:53,214 --> 00:13:55,483
They... they get hot girls
292
00:13:55,517 --> 00:13:59,254
and I get passwords
to Premium Pornhub.
293
00:13:59,287 --> 00:14:01,327
What you need to do is you need
to stop being stingy
294
00:14:01,356 --> 00:14:03,291
and pass us some Pornhub,
because I want to watch
295
00:14:03,325 --> 00:14:04,326
Premium porn, too.
296
00:14:04,359 --> 00:14:06,728
That's so surprising.
297
00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:21,109
I just wish someone thought
I was cool.
298
00:14:29,384 --> 00:14:31,854
Did you ever think your life
would be... would be different
299
00:14:31,887 --> 00:14:34,556
if you were...
300
00:14:34,589 --> 00:14:37,459
Bill Gates'
or Steve Jobs' son,
301
00:14:37,492 --> 00:14:39,594
like, someone that mattered
in the universe or...
302
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:40,930
or actually did cool shit.
303
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:41,831
Th... that's your problem.
304
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:43,766
It's not always
about the money, Neil.
305
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:47,770
Although,
306
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:49,772
if we're talking about it,
307
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,506
I would like to be
Elon Musk's son.
308
00:14:51,539 --> 00:14:52,942
That's what I'm saying.
309
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,552
I'd even suck your dick if it
meant I could be his son.
310
00:14:54,576 --> 00:14:56,211
Like that's my level of
commitment, man.
311
00:14:56,244 --> 00:14:57,847
So you think
there is an actual scenario
312
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,783
where you sucking my dick
will lead to Elon Musk
313
00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,484
being your father?
314
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:03,385
I don't know, man.
315
00:15:03,418 --> 00:15:05,520
The universe works
in mysterious ways.
316
00:15:05,553 --> 00:15:07,498
Never underestimate
the power of a good dick suck.
317
00:15:07,522 --> 00:15:09,400
I think we both spent most
of our lives thinking about
318
00:15:09,424 --> 00:15:11,559
the power of a good dick suck.
319
00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:13,395
You mean like giving one?
320
00:15:13,428 --> 00:15:15,230
'Cause that's not
what I'm talking about.
321
00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:16,498
See it's not the same thing.
322
00:15:16,531 --> 00:15:18,500
See I don't think
we're on the same page.
323
00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:21,469
No, I don't think I would know
how to give one, honestly.
324
00:15:24,372 --> 00:15:26,241
My dentist says
I gag too easily, anyway.
325
00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:30,813
Can I be honest with you, man?
326
00:15:32,647 --> 00:15:33,916
What's that?
327
00:15:33,949 --> 00:15:36,518
Summer and I would be lucky to
suck your dick.
328
00:15:38,286 --> 00:15:39,688
I mean it.
329
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,489
Thank you.
330
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,725
If it were up to me,
I would knight you,
331
00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:45,226
and then suck your dick.
332
00:15:46,494 --> 00:15:48,530
You know what?
333
00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:50,432
I was thinking that we'd go to
this really nice
334
00:15:50,465 --> 00:15:51,366
fast food restaurant.
335
00:15:51,399 --> 00:15:52,902
- Good night.
- Good night.
336
00:15:52,935 --> 00:15:54,235
You know how I like seafoods.
337
00:16:24,432 --> 00:16:26,902
Today was kind of a rough day,
338
00:16:26,936 --> 00:16:29,537
but hopefully
tomorrow will be better.
339
00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,687
Neil, wake up!
340
00:17:20,890 --> 00:17:22,958
Neil, you're gonna be late
for school!
341
00:17:25,861 --> 00:17:26,861
Neil!
342
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,611
Yeah, you have something like
truffles and fish
343
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,970
Hmm.
344
00:17:35,004 --> 00:17:36,939
- Uh, see ya kid.
- Have a great day!
345
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:37,973
Wait!
346
00:17:38,007 --> 00:17:38,941
Wait!
347
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,976
Wait!
348
00:17:41,010 --> 00:17:42,278
Wait!
349
00:17:54,522 --> 00:17:58,093
Frienemies, who, when you're
down, ain't your friend
350
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:01,396
Dude, I barely slept last night.
351
00:18:01,429 --> 00:18:03,531
I feel like a dumb ass moron
piece of shit loser
352
00:18:03,565 --> 00:18:04,800
who should just off himself.
353
00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:07,937
Cool story, bro.
354
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,873
Gilbert, where you going?
355
00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:15,576
What the fuck?
356
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:37,732
Fuck!
357
00:19:10,933 --> 00:19:12,801
Sweet baby Jesus!
358
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:18,874
Mm.
359
00:19:25,848 --> 00:19:27,082
Okay.
360
00:19:30,886 --> 00:19:32,620
- Hey, Neil.
- Hey, man.
361
00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:33,654
Hey.
362
00:19:34,156 --> 00:19:35,224
How are you?
363
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:36,424
Hello.
364
00:19:37,659 --> 00:19:38,559
Hey, how's it going?
365
00:19:38,593 --> 00:19:39,929
Hey, man.
366
00:19:39,962 --> 00:19:41,529
What's up, guys?
367
00:19:41,562 --> 00:19:43,065
- Yo man.
- Hi.
368
00:19:43,098 --> 00:19:44,199
Hello.
369
00:19:46,035 --> 00:19:47,870
Gilbert,
370
00:19:47,903 --> 00:19:48,871
you're never gonna believe this,
371
00:19:48,904 --> 00:19:50,538
'cause it's fucking crazy,
372
00:19:50,571 --> 00:19:52,908
but I'm Neil.
373
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,144
Yeah, and I'm fucking
Chris Rock, man.
374
00:19:55,177 --> 00:19:56,979
Now dude, I'm serious, I'm Neil.
375
00:19:57,012 --> 00:19:59,014
And I'm for real
I'm Biggie Smalls.
376
00:19:59,048 --> 00:20:00,015
I'm not fuckin' around, Gilbert.
377
00:20:00,049 --> 00:20:01,616
I'm Neil.
378
00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:03,560
Yeah, I'm fuckin' James Brown
back from the dead.
379
00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:04,744
Get the fuck outta here, man.
380
00:20:07,522 --> 00:20:10,092
I would like to knight you
and then suck your dick.
381
00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:18,633
It will be my honour.
382
00:20:25,007 --> 00:20:26,985
Go ahead, ask me any question
that only Neil would know
383
00:20:27,009 --> 00:20:28,010
the answer to.
384
00:20:28,043 --> 00:20:28,877
Yeah, but it wouldn't even
matter...
385
00:20:28,911 --> 00:20:30,255
- 'cause you don't know shit.
- I do.
386
00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:31,289
You're not gonna know
any of these fuckin' answers, man.
387
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,114
- I know everything about you.
- Alright, fine.
388
00:20:32,147 --> 00:20:34,149
What's the all time
beat off record?
389
00:20:34,183 --> 00:20:35,250
Eleven and a half times.
390
00:20:37,685 --> 00:20:38,754
Lucky guess.
391
00:20:40,789 --> 00:20:41,689
My first crush.
392
00:20:41,723 --> 00:20:42,858
Sadly, it's my mom.
393
00:20:42,891 --> 00:20:43,725
Yeah, it... it's wrong,
394
00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:44,827
because it's Neil's mom.
395
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:45,794
That's my mom.
396
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:46,395
Neil's mom actually wants to
have a threesome
397
00:20:46,428 --> 00:20:46,962
with me and Neil's dad.
398
00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:48,696
Next fucking question.
399
00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,910
If I were to make a rap group,
what would be the name of it?
400
00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:53,235
The Beverly Gil Billies.
401
00:20:53,268 --> 00:20:54,702
Name my solo artist.
402
00:20:54,736 --> 00:20:56,071
G-String Fully Unloaded.
403
00:20:56,105 --> 00:20:58,307
My favourite country
to travel to.
404
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,042
The Italian section of Pornhub.
405
00:21:00,075 --> 00:21:01,576
Who did I lose my virginity to?
406
00:21:03,045 --> 00:21:03,946
Neil can draw.
407
00:21:03,979 --> 00:21:05,280
Okay.
408
00:21:05,314 --> 00:21:06,623
He-he's basically like
Picachio or some shit.
409
00:21:06,647 --> 00:21:07,850
Yeah, it's true, Picasso, so.
410
00:21:07,883 --> 00:21:09,018
Whatever, whatever.
411
00:21:09,051 --> 00:21:10,052
Draw me.
412
00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:11,053
What do you mean, draw you?
413
00:21:11,086 --> 00:21:12,653
Prove to me that you're Neil.
414
00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:13,999
Draw me like Jack
and I'll be your Rose.
415
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,734
- What, like in Titanic?
- Yeah, like Titanic.
416
00:21:15,758 --> 00:21:17,168
- You've never seen Titanic.
- It doesn't matter.
417
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:17,725
I've seen her titties.
418
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,726
That's all that matters.
419
00:21:18,761 --> 00:21:19,904
Okay, so you want me to paint
your titties.
420
00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:21,638
- Want me to draw your titties?
- If that's what it takes.
421
00:21:21,662 --> 00:21:22,730
Gilbert!
422
00:21:24,632 --> 00:21:26,935
Have you seen Neil today?
423
00:21:26,969 --> 00:21:28,137
He didn't show up at school.
424
00:21:30,605 --> 00:21:32,007
Who the fuck are you, petterass?
425
00:21:34,943 --> 00:21:36,779
This is really fuckin' weird.
426
00:21:36,812 --> 00:21:38,147
Um, don't be jealous.
427
00:21:38,180 --> 00:21:39,815
You can be next
if you want to be.
428
00:21:39,848 --> 00:21:41,192
- I am not jealous.
- You just gotta ask.
429
00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:42,885
Get up.
430
00:21:42,918 --> 00:21:44,029
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Leave me the fuck alone.
431
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,864
You're fuckin' letting
a complete stranger draw you.
432
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:46,888
What...
433
00:21:52,761 --> 00:21:54,201
I mean it's like looking
in a mirror.
434
00:21:55,696 --> 00:21:57,342
Beauty is definitely in the eye
of the beholder,
435
00:21:57,366 --> 00:21:58,300
'cause that looks nothing
like you.
436
00:21:58,333 --> 00:21:59,710
Why... why can't you just
appreciate good art?
437
00:21:59,734 --> 00:22:00,635
Like what... what is your
problem?
438
00:22:00,668 --> 00:22:02,805
Wait, wait,
we can compare the drawings.
439
00:22:02,838 --> 00:22:03,982
Com... compare the drawings
with...
440
00:22:04,006 --> 00:22:05,174
Yeah.
441
00:22:05,207 --> 00:22:06,251
Do you think you're on CSI
or some shit?
442
00:22:06,275 --> 00:22:07,943
What the fuck is wrong with you?
443
00:22:07,976 --> 00:22:09,354
No, do you think that you look
like a drawing or some shit?
444
00:22:09,378 --> 00:22:10,245
Um, I sure do.
445
00:22:10,279 --> 00:22:11,679
Um...
446
00:22:11,712 --> 00:22:12,381
We're not...
we're not looking in my iPad.
447
00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:13,425
It's just a quick scan, alright?
448
00:22:13,449 --> 00:22:14,283
- It's my brother's iPad.
- Final test, I promise.
449
00:22:14,316 --> 00:22:15,427
You know I'm sensitive
about my work.
450
00:22:15,451 --> 00:22:18,353
It's my brother's iPad, so I can
look at it if I want.
451
00:22:18,387 --> 00:22:19,088
It's my iPad.
452
00:22:19,121 --> 00:22:20,022
Why do you...- Seriously, get...
453
00:22:20,055 --> 00:22:21,356
Oh...
454
00:22:21,390 --> 00:22:23,268
- You're not touching my iPad.
- Stranger Danger!
455
00:22:23,292 --> 00:22:24,126
God!
456
00:22:24,159 --> 00:22:25,961
Fuck!
457
00:22:25,994 --> 00:22:27,196
Fine, quick scan only.
458
00:22:27,229 --> 00:22:28,297
Yep.
459
00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:30,365
- That is what I plan to do.
- Jesus!
460
00:22:34,735 --> 00:22:36,071
Oh, wow, who is that?
461
00:22:37,973 --> 00:22:39,942
"The water is so nice and hot."
462
00:22:41,076 --> 00:22:42,643
- "So is my pussy."
- "So is my pussy."
463
00:22:42,677 --> 00:22:43,677
Wow.
464
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,949
"Take this Game of thrones!"
465
00:22:47,850 --> 00:22:50,319
"And after I want
game of bones."
466
00:22:51,053 --> 00:22:52,053
The fuck?
467
00:22:53,188 --> 00:22:55,390
"I'm coming for your
planet, hero!"
468
00:22:55,424 --> 00:22:57,692
"I'm gonna own
your face dickhead."
469
00:22:57,725 --> 00:23:00,195
"Hope your dickhead
owns my face, Neil."
470
00:23:00,229 --> 00:23:01,230
Creative.
471
00:23:01,729 --> 00:23:03,449
- "Be careful with my pussy."
- That's cute.
472
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:07,369
Doesn't that kind of look
like...
473
00:23:07,402 --> 00:23:08,937
Fuck, it does.
474
00:23:12,941 --> 00:23:14,143
Do you believe me?
475
00:23:14,176 --> 00:23:15,844
Are we on the same page?
476
00:23:15,878 --> 00:23:17,179
Can you help me out?
477
00:23:17,946 --> 00:23:19,858
Alright, just making
an Insta profile for you, man.
478
00:23:19,882 --> 00:23:21,759
We've got to keep striking
while the iron is hot.
479
00:23:21,783 --> 00:23:22,827
What's your cool new name
for social purposes?
480
00:23:22,851 --> 00:23:23,986
Don't say Neil.
481
00:23:24,019 --> 00:23:25,053
What's wrong with Neil?
482
00:23:25,087 --> 00:23:26,755
Well, it's nerdy.
483
00:23:26,788 --> 00:23:27,966
You know, it doesn't really fit
with the image right now.
484
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:28,891
No, it does not.
485
00:23:28,924 --> 00:23:30,034
Give me a name, I need a name.
486
00:23:30,058 --> 00:23:30,826
- Greg.
- No.
487
00:23:30,859 --> 00:23:31,426
- Vincent.
- No.
488
00:23:31,460 --> 00:23:32,261
- Arnold.
- No.
489
00:23:32,294 --> 00:23:32,995
- Hernandez.
- No.
490
00:23:33,028 --> 00:23:33,562
- Fred.
- No.
491
00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:35,264
- You're Ace.
- Ace.
492
00:23:35,297 --> 00:23:36,398
No, Ace is terrible.
493
00:23:36,431 --> 00:23:37,166
No, no it's not.
494
00:23:37,199 --> 00:23:39,301
Like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.
495
00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:40,701
The greatest film of all time.
496
00:23:40,735 --> 00:23:41,937
What are you talking about?
497
00:23:41,970 --> 00:23:44,039
Listen, I'll cover for you
with Mom and Dad
498
00:23:44,072 --> 00:23:45,783
until we figure out whatever
the fuck is happening
499
00:23:45,807 --> 00:23:47,409
to your body.
500
00:23:47,442 --> 00:23:50,112
Well, my future girl, Ava,
has a gig at the Rusty Records
501
00:23:50,145 --> 00:23:50,979
in an hour.
502
00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:51,813
Yeah.
503
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,048
Stalker.
504
00:23:53,549 --> 00:23:55,450
Well, Summer will probably be
there, too.
505
00:23:55,484 --> 00:23:56,251
Really?
506
00:23:56,285 --> 00:23:57,486
Mm, yeah come on,
507
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:58,563
we've got to get you
some new clothes,
508
00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:00,721
because right now
you're a ten in two's clothing.
509
00:24:00,756 --> 00:24:02,457
Who do you think you are,
Anna Wintour?
510
00:24:02,491 --> 00:24:03,491
Who the fuck is that?
511
00:24:07,062 --> 00:24:09,140
Yo, yo, this is your boy Gilbert
and I'm here to introduce
512
00:24:09,164 --> 00:24:11,466
my new best friend,
Ace, the actor, the model,
513
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:12,501
the artist.
514
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,469
Yo, Ace tell
the people about it.
515
00:24:14,503 --> 00:24:16,004
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
516
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,949
Me... me and Gilbert,
we've been best friends since
517
00:24:17,973 --> 00:24:19,474
forever and...
518
00:24:19,508 --> 00:24:21,043
Yeah, so what did you even
wish for?
519
00:24:23,478 --> 00:24:25,280
Second chance with Summer.
520
00:24:25,314 --> 00:24:26,949
Second chance?
521
00:24:26,982 --> 00:24:29,251
Well, what kind of soft basic
shit is that?
522
00:24:29,284 --> 00:24:31,920
You guys could help yourself to
some gum or water or Binaca.
523
00:24:33,355 --> 00:24:34,456
Are you famous, by the way?
524
00:24:34,489 --> 00:24:36,124
No, man. No, I'm not.
525
00:24:36,158 --> 00:24:37,125
Yeah, yeah,
I'm not talking to you, pal.
526
00:24:37,159 --> 00:24:39,161
You have the face of someone
who's not famous.
527
00:24:39,194 --> 00:24:40,505
I'm talking to your
hot friend over there,
528
00:24:40,529 --> 00:24:42,798
that white, steamy cream puff
next to you.
529
00:24:42,831 --> 00:24:44,333
No, me? No, no.
530
00:24:44,366 --> 00:24:45,234
No, I'm not famous.
531
00:24:45,267 --> 00:24:46,535
Well, you could be.
532
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:47,436
I'm not gay, but my girlfriend
and I are looking
533
00:24:47,469 --> 00:24:48,470
for a third, so.
534
00:24:48,503 --> 00:24:49,771
Face like that...
535
00:24:50,505 --> 00:24:51,406
booty!
536
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,809
What so, I... I don't have
that look, bro?
537
00:24:53,842 --> 00:24:55,510
Yeah, you have a face,
but it's like a,
538
00:24:55,544 --> 00:24:57,379
like a moon pie.
539
00:24:57,412 --> 00:24:59,852
- Now he's calling you slow.
- Is he paid to be disrespectful?
540
00:25:02,184 --> 00:25:03,952
Are you two being helped?
541
00:25:03,986 --> 00:25:06,197
Uh, no, no, we're just... we're
just browsing for right now
542
00:25:06,221 --> 00:25:08,357
looking for some cool tees,
maybe some ripped jeans.
543
00:25:08,390 --> 00:25:10,292
Nice, nice.
544
00:25:10,325 --> 00:25:12,027
Need help being styled?
545
00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:14,129
Uh, yeah, yeah, that'd great.
546
00:25:14,162 --> 00:25:15,273
I'm... I'm super new to all this.
547
00:25:15,297 --> 00:25:17,141
Yeah? What did you just start
modeling or something?
548
00:25:17,165 --> 00:25:19,001
- Uh, yeah.
- Oh.
549
00:25:19,034 --> 00:25:20,111
Yeah, but we're, uh, trying to
change this into acting 'cause
550
00:25:20,135 --> 00:25:22,404
our fan base is so up our ass
about it, you know.
551
00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:23,205
Yeah, no, I bet.
552
00:25:23,238 --> 00:25:24,238
Um...
553
00:25:24,406 --> 00:25:25,407
I would be, too.
554
00:25:26,174 --> 00:25:27,909
Who you with?
555
00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:30,545
Uh, well, I basically just got
offered a hand job from a guy
556
00:25:30,579 --> 00:25:33,057
who sells ball trimmers outside.
I wouldn't say I'm "with" him.
557
00:25:33,081 --> 00:25:34,549
Like, I mean, he's cool
or whatever,
558
00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:36,227
but I don't really know him like
that for him to be, you know,
559
00:25:36,251 --> 00:25:37,251
jerking me off.
560
00:25:39,288 --> 00:25:40,289
Yeah, you're funny, man.
561
00:25:40,322 --> 00:25:43,325
What is this guy,
like your agent or something?
562
00:25:43,358 --> 00:25:44,860
Uh, no.
563
00:25:44,893 --> 00:25:47,229
Uh, he actually, no, yeah, yeah,
he's my manger.
564
00:25:47,262 --> 00:25:50,532
Um, we're shopping for an agency
right now.
565
00:25:50,565 --> 00:25:52,443
You know, doing the whole
Hollywood water bottle meet
566
00:25:52,467 --> 00:25:53,135
and greet thing.
567
00:25:53,168 --> 00:25:54,403
Right.
568
00:25:54,436 --> 00:25:55,337
Yeah, you know,
it's such a small community.
569
00:25:55,370 --> 00:25:56,481
Yeah, no, no, I know, I know.
570
00:25:56,505 --> 00:25:58,440
I'm part of the community also.
571
00:25:58,473 --> 00:26:01,443
I mean, look at me, you know.
572
00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:05,614
But, uh, hey, you guys know who
Victoria V is, though, right?
573
00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:09,051
Yeah, but I mean we basically
share a Pilates instructor, man.
574
00:26:09,084 --> 00:26:10,018
Yeah, I love Victoria.
575
00:26:10,052 --> 00:26:11,586
She's a great gal.
576
00:26:11,620 --> 00:26:13,598
Oh, then you probably already
know about her very exclusive
577
00:26:13,622 --> 00:26:16,091
party she's having at her place.
578
00:26:16,124 --> 00:26:20,562
Hot models, and, uh, look I hate
to sound crass, but it's a fact,
579
00:26:20,595 --> 00:26:23,965
a lot of wild, dirty sex
happening.
580
00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:26,868
The password to get in,
Fuckingham Palace.
581
00:26:26,902 --> 00:26:27,969
Sold.
582
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,971
Sweet! You on Insta?
583
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:31,649
I'll tag you on the invite,
put you on the guest list,
584
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:34,443
otherwise, like, a thousand
bucks per person to get in.
585
00:26:34,476 --> 00:26:35,653
Yeah, we're... we're actually
about to go see
586
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:38,213
my girl real quick, but, uh,
if anything, just invite me.
587
00:26:38,246 --> 00:26:39,381
Send me the invite, too.
588
00:26:39,414 --> 00:26:40,625
You know, we'll...
we'll meet up with you,
589
00:26:40,649 --> 00:26:42,351
we'll have some fun.
590
00:26:42,384 --> 00:26:43,528
- You know what I'm saying?
- You can be his plus one, yeah.
591
00:26:43,552 --> 00:26:45,554
Plus...? Yeah, no, that's cool.
Yeah.
592
00:26:51,293 --> 00:26:52,894
Ava, you were amazing.
593
00:26:52,928 --> 00:26:53,628
You killed it.
594
00:26:53,662 --> 00:26:54,096
- Thank you.
- Beautiful.
595
00:26:54,129 --> 00:26:55,197
Yeah, for real.
596
00:26:55,230 --> 00:26:56,431
What she said, man.
597
00:26:56,465 --> 00:26:57,508
I'm gonna need some lessons
from you one day.
598
00:26:57,532 --> 00:26:59,101
Alright babe, I'll see you...
599
00:26:59,134 --> 00:26:59,769
Fantastic, babe.
600
00:26:59,802 --> 00:27:01,002
- Seriously.
- Thank you!
601
00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,471
- Good job.
- Thanks.
602
00:27:02,504 --> 00:27:04,104
- Oh, you did so good!
- Thank you, babe!
603
00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:07,109
Hey, great job.
604
00:27:07,142 --> 00:27:08,986
Some of the most beautiful music
I've ever heard.
605
00:27:09,010 --> 00:27:10,545
Thank you.
606
00:27:10,579 --> 00:27:14,383
Oh, yeah, aren't you
friends with pukey?
607
00:27:14,416 --> 00:27:16,084
Oh, you mean Neil?
608
00:27:16,118 --> 00:27:17,119
I don't know his name.
609
00:27:17,152 --> 00:27:19,488
Yeah, no one, no one knows that
was his name.
610
00:27:19,521 --> 00:27:20,222
Yeah, right?
611
00:27:20,255 --> 00:27:21,289
Guy was a loser.
612
00:27:21,323 --> 00:27:22,591
Good night, thanks.
613
00:27:22,624 --> 00:27:24,960
What's up? I'm, uh, I'm Chad.
614
00:27:24,993 --> 00:27:26,595
Uh, hi. Oh!
615
00:27:26,628 --> 00:27:28,630
I'm... Ace.
616
00:27:28,663 --> 00:27:30,065
Like Ace Ventura.
617
00:27:30,098 --> 00:27:32,234
Oh, yeah. I love that band.
618
00:27:32,267 --> 00:27:34,202
Are you guys, uh, are you
friends with this guy?
619
00:27:34,236 --> 00:27:36,705
We're best friend, actually,
so you can ease up.
620
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:38,206
- Wait, excuse me?
- What?
621
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,800
- What did you say?
- What did you hear?
622
00:27:41,143 --> 00:27:42,143
Alright.
623
00:27:46,481 --> 00:27:47,249
- You ready?
- No.
624
00:27:47,282 --> 00:27:48,216
- You ready?
- No.
625
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,451
- Good luck.
- Good luck.
626
00:28:05,267 --> 00:28:07,169
I'm... A... ss...
627
00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,337
Ass?
628
00:28:09,371 --> 00:28:11,006
Did your parents hate you
or something?
629
00:28:11,039 --> 00:28:11,573
No.
630
00:28:11,606 --> 00:28:14,609
Um, sorry, sorry.
631
00:28:14,643 --> 00:28:16,020
I don't know what just happened
to my brain.
632
00:28:16,044 --> 00:28:17,312
- Um.
- Um.
633
00:28:17,345 --> 00:28:19,414
My name's Ace.
634
00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:20,449
Ace.
635
00:28:20,482 --> 00:28:22,317
Like the movie.
636
00:28:22,350 --> 00:28:23,652
Yeah, like the movie.
637
00:28:23,685 --> 00:28:26,021
Well, I'm Summer,
like the season.
638
00:28:26,054 --> 00:28:27,389
Hi.
639
00:28:27,422 --> 00:28:29,262
- Nice to meet you.
- Good to meet you, Summer.
640
00:28:29,391 --> 00:28:32,160
You know, Ava, I always thought
you were cute, by the way.
641
00:28:32,194 --> 00:28:33,628
Really? Why is that?
642
00:28:33,662 --> 00:28:35,263
Well, are you a good kisser,
643
00:28:35,297 --> 00:28:37,457
because that would definitely
make you cute in my book.
644
00:28:37,699 --> 00:28:39,710
Are you guys doing anything
after the show or this...
645
00:28:39,734 --> 00:28:41,102
this weekend, or?
646
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:43,572
Well, um, it's actually
my birthday.
647
00:28:43,605 --> 00:28:47,075
My parents are out of town,
so I'm throwing myself a party.
648
00:28:47,108 --> 00:28:47,676
- You?
- Happy birthday!
649
00:28:47,709 --> 00:28:48,543
Oh, thanks.
650
00:28:48,577 --> 00:28:51,046
Um, I'm not,
I'm not doing anything.
651
00:28:51,079 --> 00:28:51,680
Really?
652
00:28:51,713 --> 00:28:52,782
Nothing in particular, no.
653
00:28:52,815 --> 00:28:54,649
Hmm.
654
00:28:54,683 --> 00:28:56,227
So I was thinking about my
favourite sexual positions today.
655
00:28:56,251 --> 00:28:57,319
That's too much.
656
00:28:58,487 --> 00:28:59,530
Sounds like time well spent.
657
00:28:59,554 --> 00:29:01,757
Well, you know, it's all
situational for me really.
658
00:29:01,791 --> 00:29:03,525
I mean, do I have all the time
in the world
659
00:29:03,558 --> 00:29:05,293
or am I trying to get it
after a bad date?
660
00:29:07,062 --> 00:29:08,430
Okay.
661
00:29:08,463 --> 00:29:10,441
If it's a bad date,
why are you trying to get it in?
662
00:29:10,465 --> 00:29:12,367
Uh, 'cause my dick never
has a bad date.
663
00:29:13,468 --> 00:29:15,203
Well, it was nice to meet you.
664
00:29:15,805 --> 00:29:20,742
Yeah, um, Summer, um, do you by
any chance have an extra invite
665
00:29:20,776 --> 00:29:22,711
to your party this weekend?
666
00:29:22,744 --> 00:29:24,212
An invite?
667
00:29:24,246 --> 00:29:25,247
Yeah.
668
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:30,285
Um, you... you seem cool
and it would be great
669
00:29:30,318 --> 00:29:32,454
to stop by, right?
670
00:29:32,487 --> 00:29:35,123
Yeah, maybe. Unfortunately,
we are at max capacity
671
00:29:35,156 --> 00:29:36,191
for the party.
672
00:29:36,224 --> 00:29:38,426
I could put you
on a waiting list.
673
00:29:38,460 --> 00:29:40,629
Yeah, yeah, o... okay.
Um, yeah, it's...
674
00:29:40,662 --> 00:29:41,663
I'm fucking with you.
675
00:29:42,430 --> 00:29:44,266
I'm sorry.
676
00:29:44,299 --> 00:29:45,400
I have one left.
677
00:29:49,337 --> 00:29:51,506
Uh, I hope to see you
at my party, Ass.
678
00:29:54,109 --> 00:29:55,110
I'm a nice ass.
679
00:30:08,156 --> 00:30:09,324
- I got it!
- You got it.
680
00:30:09,357 --> 00:30:10,392
- I got it!
- Who got it?
681
00:30:10,425 --> 00:30:11,465
- I got it!
- And I got it.
682
00:30:11,493 --> 00:30:12,427
- I got it!
- We got it.
683
00:30:12,460 --> 00:30:13,528
- Who got it?
- We got it.
684
00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:14,797
- We got it.
- Uh-huh!
685
00:30:14,830 --> 00:30:16,541
- Oh, I got the invitation.
- Yeah, that's right.
686
00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:17,632
Huh!
687
00:30:17,666 --> 00:30:18,844
- We got the invitation.
- Invitation!
688
00:30:18,868 --> 00:30:19,802
Nice work my dude.
689
00:30:19,835 --> 00:30:21,336
What's your long-term plan?
690
00:30:21,369 --> 00:30:22,480
Well, that's the Uber guy
right that.
691
00:30:22,504 --> 00:30:23,514
Wait, what do you mean
long-term plan?
692
00:30:23,538 --> 00:30:25,349
Yes, I'm not saying I still have
a lot to learn,
693
00:30:25,373 --> 00:30:26,785
but can I let you in
on a little secret?
694
00:30:26,809 --> 00:30:29,578
No, because you're just gonna
tell me anyway.
695
00:30:29,611 --> 00:30:30,611
Go ahead and tell me.
696
00:30:31,746 --> 00:30:33,381
Hey there, handsome.
697
00:30:33,415 --> 00:30:36,318
Look, Neil, girls want to fuck
just as badly as we do.
698
00:30:37,485 --> 00:30:38,854
And you know this how?
699
00:30:38,888 --> 00:30:41,222
It's actually sexist to think
some shit like that.
700
00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:42,300
Alright, sexism is a real issue.
701
00:30:42,324 --> 00:30:44,292
Okay, I consider myself
to be a proud feminist.
702
00:30:44,326 --> 00:30:45,727
Good God!
703
00:30:45,761 --> 00:30:46,872
Alright, do you-are you
circling the block or some shit?
704
00:30:46,896 --> 00:30:48,563
Are you stalking us?
705
00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,508
You got a problem with my five
star Uber driving?
706
00:30:50,532 --> 00:30:52,434
No, I have a problem
with your attitude.
707
00:30:52,467 --> 00:30:53,477
Can I have a private
conversation
708
00:30:53,501 --> 00:30:54,269
with my friend, please?
709
00:30:54,302 --> 00:30:55,838
Yes, by all means.
710
00:30:55,871 --> 00:30:57,272
Go ahead.
711
00:30:57,305 --> 00:30:58,206
So I consider myself to be
a proud feminist.
712
00:30:58,239 --> 00:30:59,574
Yeah, I know, me too.
713
00:30:59,608 --> 00:31:00,475
I love my family.
714
00:31:00,508 --> 00:31:01,643
I... I love women.
715
00:31:01,676 --> 00:31:03,144
I love girls, I respect them.
716
00:31:03,178 --> 00:31:04,856
You know I have a healthy
relationship with my mom
717
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,582
and my psycho sister,
and sometimes I wish that
718
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,652
I was a woman, so I could help
fight feminism from the inside.
719
00:31:10,685 --> 00:31:13,188
Okay, did you know that woman
still make seventy-seven cents
720
00:31:13,221 --> 00:31:13,688
to the man's dollar?
721
00:31:13,722 --> 00:31:14,489
Yes.
722
00:31:14,522 --> 00:31:16,191
Think about that shit.
723
00:31:16,224 --> 00:31:17,803
How would you feel being short
changed by twenty-two cents?
724
00:31:17,827 --> 00:31:19,594
Twenty-three, genius.
725
00:31:19,628 --> 00:31:20,462
See, even worse.
726
00:31:20,495 --> 00:31:22,765
Be the new super cool,
non-sexist dude.
727
00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:24,000
Your wish came true, man.
728
00:31:24,033 --> 00:31:26,401
You finally have a second chance
to step up and take a shot.
729
00:31:26,434 --> 00:31:27,602
You got the invite, baby!
730
00:31:27,636 --> 00:31:28,536
Yeah, I got the invite.
731
00:31:28,570 --> 00:31:30,205
I got... This is all I wanted.
I got it.
732
00:31:30,238 --> 00:31:31,506
Oh, my God.
733
00:31:31,539 --> 00:31:32,875
Summer's obviously into you
734
00:31:32,908 --> 00:31:34,352
and you're lacking confidence
right now.
735
00:31:34,376 --> 00:31:35,176
That's fine, that's fine,
736
00:31:35,210 --> 00:31:35,878
'cause it all comes from
practice.
737
00:31:35,911 --> 00:31:37,113
Look it up, Malcolm Gladwell.
738
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:38,957
You have to bang 10,000 chicks
in order to feel comfortable
739
00:31:38,981 --> 00:31:40,248
having sex with Summer.
740
00:31:40,281 --> 00:31:41,851
Ten...
741
00:31:41,884 --> 00:31:43,795
But we need Viagra, 'cause we're
pressed on time right now.
742
00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:45,353
We need Viagra to bang
10,000 chicks.
743
00:31:45,387 --> 00:31:46,922
- Yes, 10,000 chicks.
- 10,000 chicks.
744
00:31:46,956 --> 00:31:48,824
Do you think LeBron James
or Tom Brady show up
745
00:31:48,858 --> 00:31:50,458
to the championship game
and hope to win?
746
00:31:50,492 --> 00:31:51,459
Or, they fuck people up
all season?
747
00:31:51,493 --> 00:31:53,361
No.
748
00:31:53,395 --> 00:31:54,538
You need to think of Victoria's
party as your season and Summer
749
00:31:54,562 --> 00:31:57,265
as your Super Bowl, and you have
ten hours to fuck up Chad
750
00:31:57,298 --> 00:31:57,933
and win that pussy ring.
751
00:31:57,967 --> 00:31:58,968
Great, got it!
752
00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:00,502
How am I supposed
to fuck up Chad?
753
00:32:00,535 --> 00:32:01,971
I take the school bus.
754
00:32:02,004 --> 00:32:03,204
I've got that covered, man.
755
00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:17,352
Can I help you out
with something?
756
00:32:17,385 --> 00:32:18,385
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
757
00:32:21,924 --> 00:32:23,701
Well, I've got to get to work
soon, so let's hear it.
758
00:32:23,725 --> 00:32:25,761
Oh, wh... what do you do?
759
00:32:25,795 --> 00:32:26,628
I sell Porsches.
760
00:32:26,661 --> 00:32:27,661
You a detective?
761
00:32:28,864 --> 00:32:30,541
Look... look,
I know you're a very busy man.
762
00:32:30,565 --> 00:32:31,910
You know Porsches to sell,
pussies to pop.
763
00:32:31,934 --> 00:32:33,969
I get that, I'm just gonna
cut to the chase.
764
00:32:34,003 --> 00:32:35,847
Alright, my handsome friend
here, he's your new neighbour
765
00:32:35,871 --> 00:32:37,682
and we notice you seem
to have unlimited access
766
00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:38,606
to the sexiest cars.
767
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,408
And we really need
one for one wicked night
768
00:32:40,442 --> 00:32:42,410
of partying we got set up
for tonight.
769
00:32:42,444 --> 00:32:45,915
And you know what they say,
sexy wheels, sexy heels.
770
00:32:45,948 --> 00:32:47,415
"Sexy wheels, sexy heels."
771
00:32:47,449 --> 00:32:49,250
Uh, you funny, man.
772
00:32:49,284 --> 00:32:50,829
So I guess you're the one
with the pretty face that
773
00:32:50,853 --> 00:32:53,254
keeps the girls coming and then,
uh, you keep 'em around
774
00:32:53,288 --> 00:32:54,365
with the funny one liners, huh?
775
00:32:54,389 --> 00:32:55,825
- That's the idea.
- Yeah.
776
00:32:55,858 --> 00:32:56,759
Yeah, yeah, you know, when
you're handsome as hell like us,
777
00:32:56,792 --> 00:32:58,828
you don't need corny jokes.
778
00:32:58,861 --> 00:33:00,495
Alright, Jimbo?
779
00:33:00,528 --> 00:33:01,528
Jimmy.
780
00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:03,809
Time is money and money
is sweet like honey,
781
00:33:03,833 --> 00:33:05,700
so let's talk some rides, guys.
782
00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,403
Now, I can take you boys
to the dealership.
783
00:33:08,436 --> 00:33:10,638
We're gonna do everything
on the up where I gotta run
784
00:33:10,672 --> 00:33:12,875
your credit check,
make sure you're over 25,
785
00:33:12,908 --> 00:33:15,343
see what's available on the lot,
yada-yada-yada.
786
00:33:15,376 --> 00:33:18,279
Or, if this little baby's
giving you bedroom eyes,
787
00:33:18,313 --> 00:33:19,758
we can settle everything
right here, right now,
788
00:33:19,782 --> 00:33:20,315
off the books.
789
00:33:20,348 --> 00:33:21,616
No, this car is perfect.
790
00:33:21,649 --> 00:33:24,887
She purrs, and she bites,
791
00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,789
but you know what she does best?
792
00:33:26,822 --> 00:33:28,523
She makes them panties drop.
793
00:33:28,556 --> 00:33:29,524
We on the same exact page, man.
794
00:33:29,557 --> 00:33:31,002
I get exactly
what you're saying, my friend.
795
00:33:31,026 --> 00:33:31,827
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
796
00:33:31,861 --> 00:33:33,328
We are reading
the same page here,
797
00:33:33,361 --> 00:33:34,438
like it's our homework
assignment
798
00:33:34,462 --> 00:33:36,899
and it's due tomorrow,
and we're gonna turn it in,
799
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,868
send it off.
800
00:33:40,568 --> 00:33:41,568
Stop.
801
00:33:45,573 --> 00:33:47,475
She's got 430 horsepower,
802
00:33:47,509 --> 00:33:49,779
or as I like to call it,
horsecockpower.
803
00:33:49,812 --> 00:33:51,555
You know what makes the ladies
really excited?
804
00:33:51,579 --> 00:33:52,848
What, respect and equal pay?
805
00:33:52,882 --> 00:33:54,016
Fuck, no!
806
00:33:54,049 --> 00:33:56,618
Press this button right here,
takes you to sports mode.
807
00:33:56,651 --> 00:33:58,754
It's like two beautiful
legs opening right up,
808
00:33:58,788 --> 00:34:01,589
clearing you for expedited
first class entry.
809
00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:02,768
Please remember to fasten
your seat belts
810
00:34:02,792 --> 00:34:04,559
before take off, gentlemen.
811
00:34:04,592 --> 00:34:06,037
- Oh, fuck, yeah!
- No, no, no, no, no.
812
00:34:06,061 --> 00:34:07,428
Can we just slow down
a little bit?
813
00:34:07,462 --> 00:34:08,396
Let's not, uh, uh, uh...
814
00:34:08,429 --> 00:34:09,589
Hey, check the torque on her.
815
00:34:17,006 --> 00:34:19,108
This was fucking crazy.
816
00:34:19,141 --> 00:34:20,675
Yeah. Hangin', bro?
817
00:34:20,708 --> 00:34:22,377
- Yep.
- Where'd your friend go?
818
00:34:22,410 --> 00:34:23,444
Shit!
819
00:34:25,513 --> 00:34:26,648
Ace, you alright, man?
820
00:34:26,681 --> 00:34:27,783
I think so.
821
00:34:27,817 --> 00:34:28,951
Well, then come on, man,
822
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:30,929
'cause time is money and money
is sweet like honey,
823
00:34:30,953 --> 00:34:32,855
so hop on over here,
'cause it's not funny.
824
00:34:32,888 --> 00:34:33,888
Really sorry about this.
825
00:34:34,689 --> 00:34:37,559
So, how much you got?
826
00:34:37,592 --> 00:34:38,828
How much what?
827
00:34:38,861 --> 00:34:40,528
What? Money?
828
00:34:40,562 --> 00:34:41,663
Yeah, cash.
829
00:34:41,696 --> 00:34:42,965
Yeah, on your person.
830
00:34:42,998 --> 00:34:46,001
$50 only, but I seem to have
misplaced my wallet.
831
00:34:46,035 --> 00:34:47,970
I just can't find it
at the moment.
832
00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:51,774
Oh-oh, you, sir, are no liar.
833
00:34:53,042 --> 00:34:54,042
How did you do that?
834
00:34:54,944 --> 00:34:56,544
So I'm gonna level
with you guys.
835
00:34:56,578 --> 00:34:59,714
Believe it or not,
I wasn't always this cool.
836
00:34:59,747 --> 00:35:01,616
Do you think I would have
as many women as I do
837
00:35:01,649 --> 00:35:03,651
if I didn't have access
to all the Porsches?
838
00:35:03,685 --> 00:35:04,987
Yes.
839
00:35:05,020 --> 00:35:06,530
Exactly right,
because I've worked hard at it.
840
00:35:06,554 --> 00:35:09,024
I've trained,
I've put in the time.
841
00:35:09,058 --> 00:35:11,459
You see, practice not
only makes perfect,
842
00:35:11,492 --> 00:35:12,795
it makes panties drop.
843
00:35:12,828 --> 00:35:14,763
It's like you're in my brain,
man.
844
00:35:14,797 --> 00:35:16,765
Does everything
make panties drop?
845
00:35:16,799 --> 00:35:17,599
How about you, cheekbones?
846
00:35:17,632 --> 00:35:19,400
What you got?
847
00:35:19,434 --> 00:35:21,669
I don't think I... I don't
think I have any ca...
848
00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,471
Ah, maybe $20?
849
00:35:23,504 --> 00:35:25,183
Am I standing on a street corner
wearing a tight black dress
850
00:35:25,207 --> 00:35:26,842
and some red bottoms?
851
00:35:26,876 --> 00:35:27,943
N... no.
852
00:35:27,977 --> 00:35:31,713
Then stop trying to fuck me.
853
00:35:31,746 --> 00:35:33,158
Do you guys have, like,
a car you can loan me
854
00:35:33,182 --> 00:35:34,515
as collateral?
855
00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:35,693
Oh, no,
that would be a negative.
856
00:35:35,717 --> 00:35:38,754
Then get the fuck out of here!
857
00:35:38,787 --> 00:35:40,856
If you see me in the street,
don't look at me.
858
00:35:40,890 --> 00:35:43,926
Just look down starting now.
859
00:35:43,959 --> 00:35:45,493
Get out!
860
00:35:45,526 --> 00:35:46,661
Wait.
861
00:35:50,665 --> 00:35:51,901
What's this party about?
862
00:35:51,934 --> 00:35:53,168
Can... can we look up now?
863
00:35:53,202 --> 00:35:54,803
Yeah, yeah, you can look up.
864
00:35:54,837 --> 00:35:56,671
Um, it's this lady Victoria.
865
00:35:56,704 --> 00:35:58,783
Man, I mean, she's having
a party at Fuckingham Palace.
866
00:35:58,807 --> 00:35:59,818
It's supposed to be crazy, man.
867
00:35:59,842 --> 00:36:02,077
A thousand dollars per person.
868
00:36:02,111 --> 00:36:03,188
A thousand dollars ain't cheap.
869
00:36:03,212 --> 00:36:04,046
We're getting in for free.
870
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:05,513
You know, VIP, you know.
871
00:36:05,546 --> 00:36:06,581
'Cause of me.
872
00:36:08,050 --> 00:36:09,684
Hmm.
873
00:36:09,717 --> 00:36:11,120
Right.
874
00:36:11,921 --> 00:36:13,088
Fuck it.
875
00:36:13,122 --> 00:36:14,924
Alright, my depressingly
poor amigos.
876
00:36:15,523 --> 00:36:16,992
For a mere $70 bucks,
877
00:36:17,026 --> 00:36:19,161
you guys just got
my Seven-Eighteen Boxster GTS
878
00:36:19,194 --> 00:36:20,194
for the night.
879
00:36:20,796 --> 00:36:22,097
- Let's go!
- Sweet!
880
00:36:22,131 --> 00:36:26,068
On one condition, I'm going to
the party with you,
881
00:36:26,101 --> 00:36:28,070
just to, you know, make sure
she's okay and stuff.
882
00:36:28,103 --> 00:36:29,905
Who's she?
883
00:36:29,939 --> 00:36:31,472
The Porsche, moron.
884
00:36:32,808 --> 00:36:34,043
Alright, so here's the plan.
885
00:36:34,076 --> 00:36:35,878
At 7:00 pm tonight,
you're gonna meet me
886
00:36:35,911 --> 00:36:38,047
at Food Mart around
the corner, okay?
887
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,082
You're gonna go inside,
gonna get an extra large
888
00:36:40,115 --> 00:36:42,051
black cherry Slurpee.
889
00:36:42,084 --> 00:36:44,004
I'll be waiting for you
right there with the car.
890
00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:46,855
These Viagras better work, man.
891
00:36:46,889 --> 00:36:49,557
You know old guys
take Viagra to have sex
892
00:36:49,590 --> 00:36:51,726
like guys our age, right?
893
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,704
The only pill I need right now
is Advil because my head
894
00:36:53,728 --> 00:36:55,097
is killing me.
895
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:56,942
Look, the more you think
about it, the more it hurts.
896
00:36:56,966 --> 00:36:58,076
Alright,
you feel what you attract.
897
00:36:58,100 --> 00:36:59,634
Perception is everything.
898
00:36:59,667 --> 00:37:00,711
I'm not attracting a headache.
899
00:37:00,735 --> 00:37:02,037
I hit the shit out of my head.
900
00:37:02,071 --> 00:37:03,906
- Do you want me to rub it?
- Yeah.
901
00:37:03,939 --> 00:37:05,874
Let's get these dick pills,
alright?
902
00:37:05,908 --> 00:37:07,209
How did you meet this guy again?
903
00:37:07,242 --> 00:37:08,743
On Fortnite.
904
00:37:08,777 --> 00:37:10,617
He's like the Dan Bilzerian
of the school, man.
905
00:37:11,947 --> 00:37:13,148
Enter, it's open.
906
00:37:16,785 --> 00:37:19,154
Is that G-money
I hear behind me?
907
00:37:19,188 --> 00:37:22,191
Is that J-sizzle I see about to
snipe some poor biatches?
908
00:37:22,224 --> 00:37:23,524
Gilbert?
909
00:37:23,558 --> 00:37:24,625
Come here, man.
910
00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:26,161
Let this big bear
get his paws on ya.
911
00:37:28,263 --> 00:37:30,232
You look different
than I imagined.
912
00:37:30,265 --> 00:37:31,300
Uh, yeah.
913
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:32,768
Nah, man, you too.
914
00:37:32,801 --> 00:37:34,569
You... you look healthy.
915
00:37:34,602 --> 00:37:35,137
Thanks man.
916
00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:36,071
I bought an Apple watch.
917
00:37:36,105 --> 00:37:38,107
Helps me to keep track of
my steps, so.
918
00:37:38,140 --> 00:37:39,808
It's still in the box.
919
00:37:39,842 --> 00:37:40,776
It's pretty cool.
920
00:37:40,809 --> 00:37:43,178
Hey, this is Vanessa,
the love of my life.
921
00:37:46,048 --> 00:37:46,647
Oh, they don't mind.
922
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,283
Who is thi handsome devil?
923
00:37:48,317 --> 00:37:50,161
What, are you friends with an
actual walking sex stick?
924
00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:51,185
Thanks.
925
00:37:53,654 --> 00:37:54,654
It's good to...
926
00:37:54,957 --> 00:37:55,991
Thanks for having us.
927
00:37:56,892 --> 00:37:58,827
You are a gentleman
and a scholar, sir.
928
00:37:58,861 --> 00:37:59,938
You're a prince in an alley,
Gilbert.
929
00:37:59,962 --> 00:38:02,231
Guys, come on in, have a seat.
930
00:38:02,264 --> 00:38:04,199
So, to what do I owe this
gracious visit
931
00:38:04,233 --> 00:38:05,934
from my favourite Fortnite
compatriot?
932
00:38:05,968 --> 00:38:07,635
Hey, man, like I said,
my Viagra girl,
933
00:38:07,668 --> 00:38:08,871
she went MIA on me, man.
934
00:38:08,904 --> 00:38:09,405
What's her name?
935
00:38:09,438 --> 00:38:10,005
I probably know her.
936
00:38:10,039 --> 00:38:12,241
Uh, it's, uh... Victoria?
937
00:38:12,274 --> 00:38:14,243
- Victoria V.
- Dope shit!
938
00:38:14,276 --> 00:38:15,420
You know she supplies my guy.
939
00:38:15,444 --> 00:38:19,214
She throws like the craziest,
most legendary parties.
940
00:38:19,248 --> 00:38:21,917
Hey, man, let me ask you
something.
941
00:38:21,950 --> 00:38:24,652
What's it like to go through
life knowing everyone
942
00:38:24,685 --> 00:38:25,720
wants to fuck you?
943
00:38:27,856 --> 00:38:30,625
I... I wouldn't say it's, uh,
everyone.
944
00:38:30,658 --> 00:38:32,161
Pretty sure it is everyone.
945
00:38:32,194 --> 00:38:34,105
Not everyone comes up to me
and says they want to fuck me.
946
00:38:34,129 --> 00:38:35,831
I bet if I did a straw poll
in this house,
947
00:38:35,864 --> 00:38:36,932
it would be everyone.
948
00:38:38,801 --> 00:38:39,868
Um...
949
00:38:39,902 --> 00:38:41,336
So I keep the drugs
in the bedroom.
950
00:38:41,370 --> 00:38:44,073
Why don't we continue this
negotiation in there, alright?
951
00:38:44,106 --> 00:38:45,841
Shall we? Let's do it.
952
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:48,643
Gentlemen, milady.
953
00:38:55,716 --> 00:38:56,919
So, the pills are right there.
954
00:38:56,952 --> 00:38:59,197
You guys could just grab a vile
and you should be all set.
955
00:38:59,221 --> 00:39:00,688
Thank you so much, J.
956
00:39:00,721 --> 00:39:01,900
How much do we owe you for this?
957
00:39:01,924 --> 00:39:02,791
Aw, your money's no good here.
958
00:39:02,825 --> 00:39:04,226
It's on the house.
959
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:06,104
We were wondering, though,
if maybe we could ask you guys
960
00:39:06,128 --> 00:39:07,662
for a favour in return?
961
00:39:07,695 --> 00:39:08,629
Yo, anything, man.
962
00:39:08,663 --> 00:39:09,630
Just ask.
963
00:39:09,664 --> 00:39:11,266
- Not anything.
- Shut up.
964
00:39:11,300 --> 00:39:13,869
We think you guys
are really cute.
965
00:39:13,902 --> 00:39:15,703
Do you guys think that
we're cute?
966
00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:23,812
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
967
00:39:23,846 --> 00:39:24,612
How... how do you...
968
00:39:24,645 --> 00:39:25,857
If you don't mean it, it's okay.
969
00:39:25,881 --> 00:39:26,782
You guys are cute as fuck.
970
00:39:26,815 --> 00:39:28,851
- Really?
- Yeah.
971
00:39:28,884 --> 00:39:30,185
- Are you sure?
- No...
972
00:39:30,219 --> 00:39:31,329
You sure you're not just
saying that?
973
00:39:31,353 --> 00:39:33,055
No, no. I-I mean, um,
'cause with...
974
00:39:33,721 --> 00:39:34,957
Ace?
975
00:39:34,990 --> 00:39:36,391
Yeah, yeah.
976
00:39:36,425 --> 00:39:38,060
No, you guys are super cute.
977
00:39:38,093 --> 00:39:41,063
You guys, uh, you've... you've
good chemistry and... and...
978
00:39:41,096 --> 00:39:42,974
and you guys, you know,
you feed off of each other.
979
00:39:42,998 --> 00:39:44,742
You're comfortable
in your own skin together,
980
00:39:44,766 --> 00:39:45,910
so that's...
that's always a plus.
981
00:39:45,934 --> 00:39:47,668
- That's awesome.
- Hmm.
982
00:39:47,702 --> 00:39:49,271
So Vanessa and I
are gonna make love now
983
00:39:49,304 --> 00:39:51,373
and we'd love for you guys
to just be around.
984
00:39:51,406 --> 00:39:54,977
You know, feel free to hop in
or do whatever's comfortable.
985
00:39:55,010 --> 00:39:57,112
You know, have a seat,
take a load off.
986
00:39:57,846 --> 00:40:01,083
Yeah, positive vibes only, okay?
987
00:40:02,284 --> 00:40:02,985
- Um...
- Um...
988
00:40:03,018 --> 00:40:03,785
Great!
989
00:40:03,819 --> 00:40:05,387
Alexa, play my sex jams.
990
00:40:05,420 --> 00:40:07,189
Playing sex jams.
991
00:40:16,865 --> 00:40:18,400
What the fuck
is happening right now?
992
00:40:20,302 --> 00:40:22,204
This is college.
993
00:40:29,912 --> 00:40:31,113
Hey!
994
00:40:31,146 --> 00:40:32,713
Give me your hand.
995
00:40:33,415 --> 00:40:34,349
Come on.
996
00:40:34,383 --> 00:40:36,185
Press your palm against my palm.
997
00:40:36,218 --> 00:40:37,219
Timothée Chalamet.
998
00:40:37,252 --> 00:40:38,387
Come on.
999
00:40:41,056 --> 00:40:42,056
You've been summoned.
1000
00:40:55,904 --> 00:40:57,239
Yes, that's great.
1001
00:40:58,540 --> 00:40:59,942
Family style, over here.
1002
00:40:59,975 --> 00:41:01,310
Let's cross fingers.
1003
00:41:01,343 --> 00:41:03,078
Let's cross fingers,
family style.
1004
00:41:04,346 --> 00:41:06,815
Bro, you've been summoned,
join us.
1005
00:41:09,818 --> 00:41:10,818
Come on.
1006
00:41:27,236 --> 00:41:28,237
Mm.
1007
00:41:37,879 --> 00:41:39,881
That should do it.
1008
00:41:39,915 --> 00:41:42,184
Thanks so much, boys
for stopping by.
1009
00:41:42,217 --> 00:41:44,086
That's what we call
a win-win, you know.
1010
00:41:47,889 --> 00:41:49,291
We take this to our graves.
1011
00:41:50,158 --> 00:41:51,193
Take what?
1012
00:41:51,994 --> 00:41:53,028
Exactly.
1013
00:41:56,265 --> 00:41:57,408
I just don't
know about this guy.
1014
00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:58,567
What if he doesn't show?
1015
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,535
Neil, he's your neighbour,
alright?
1016
00:42:00,569 --> 00:42:01,370
He's, at the very least,
1017
00:42:01,403 --> 00:42:03,272
a very financially stable
homeowner,
1018
00:42:03,305 --> 00:42:04,882
not just some random dude
we met playing video games
1019
00:42:04,906 --> 00:42:06,041
with alright?
1020
00:42:06,074 --> 00:42:08,877
Plus he's normal,
he's cool, he's handsome,
1021
00:42:08,910 --> 00:42:11,270
and you shouldn't be questioning
shit with a $20 investment.
1022
00:42:15,417 --> 00:42:18,487
The cashier seems to have taken
a real liking to us.
1023
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:19,864
He's probably wondering
what a healthy stud like you
1024
00:42:19,888 --> 00:42:21,290
is even doing here.
1025
00:42:21,323 --> 00:42:22,483
None of this shit is organic.
1026
00:42:26,295 --> 00:42:27,095
Nice.
1027
00:42:27,129 --> 00:42:28,129
Come on, let's go.
1028
00:42:31,333 --> 00:42:32,200
How you doing?
1029
00:42:32,234 --> 00:42:33,368
Get this real quick?
1030
00:42:36,972 --> 00:42:38,607
Time to separate
the men from the boys.
1031
00:42:48,150 --> 00:42:49,318
Okay.
1032
00:42:52,354 --> 00:42:54,423
Alright, it's go time, boys.
1033
00:42:54,456 --> 00:42:56,858
Let's do this.
1034
00:42:56,892 --> 00:42:58,960
Give me all the money out
of your register now.
1035
00:42:58,994 --> 00:43:01,530
Give me all the money
out of the register!
1036
00:43:01,563 --> 00:43:03,999
- Now, motherfucker!
- Fuck!
1037
00:43:04,032 --> 00:43:05,243
You made me sound like
Samuel Jackson.
1038
00:43:05,267 --> 00:43:06,101
- Jimmy? Jimmy?
- What, chubby?
1039
00:43:06,134 --> 00:43:07,578
What am I supposed to do
with the bags?
1040
00:43:07,602 --> 00:43:09,314
Just hold on to it for a second,
goddamn, man.
1041
00:43:09,338 --> 00:43:10,439
Your move, Apu.
1042
00:43:10,472 --> 00:43:11,373
That's... that's racist.
1043
00:43:11,406 --> 00:43:13,342
That ain't racist,
that's his name, man.
1044
00:43:13,375 --> 00:43:14,976
His mama named him that.
1045
00:43:15,010 --> 00:43:16,111
Look at all this.
1046
00:43:16,144 --> 00:43:17,112
Rob the motherfucker.
1047
00:43:17,145 --> 00:43:19,247
You know them gas prices
is high as hell, man.
1048
00:43:19,281 --> 00:43:19,981
Alright, start the car.
1049
00:43:20,015 --> 00:43:21,116
Let's go!
1050
00:43:21,149 --> 00:43:22,484
The Skittles, nigg...
1051
00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:23,352
Man, come here.
1052
00:43:23,385 --> 00:43:25,020
- Why is this bag so big?
- Shut up, man!
1053
00:43:25,053 --> 00:43:26,355
'Sup with all these questions?
1054
00:43:26,388 --> 00:43:27,189
Alright, go.
1055
00:43:27,222 --> 00:43:28,890
Get outta here.
1056
00:43:28,924 --> 00:43:29,624
Wait, wait, wait,
there's more money.
1057
00:43:29,658 --> 00:43:30,158
There's more money.
1058
00:43:30,192 --> 00:43:30,959
There's more money.
1059
00:43:30,992 --> 00:43:32,136
Come help,
we're a bout to be rich.
1060
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:33,160
Oh, shit!
1061
00:43:36,631 --> 00:43:37,299
What the fuck?
1062
00:43:37,332 --> 00:43:38,367
Who pokes eyes?
1063
00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:40,135
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
1064
00:43:40,168 --> 00:43:41,470
What the fuck!?
1065
00:43:41,503 --> 00:43:42,304
I don't want my fingerprints
on this shit either.
1066
00:43:42,337 --> 00:43:43,238
Press the gas!
1067
00:43:43,271 --> 00:43:44,271
Fine!
1068
00:43:47,943 --> 00:43:49,120
What the hell
is wrong with you, man?
1069
00:43:49,144 --> 00:43:50,412
You never drive before?
1070
00:43:50,445 --> 00:43:51,485
I just got my permit, man!
1071
00:43:59,454 --> 00:44:00,255
Oh, fuck!
1072
00:44:00,288 --> 00:44:01,690
Oh...
1073
00:44:01,723 --> 00:44:02,591
Wait!
1074
00:44:02,624 --> 00:44:03,492
Gilbert!
1075
00:44:03,525 --> 00:44:04,493
Wait, Gilbert!
1076
00:44:04,526 --> 00:44:05,260
What the fuck you doing?
1077
00:44:05,293 --> 00:44:07,396
- I can't leave Neil, man.
- Why?
1078
00:44:07,429 --> 00:44:08,573
He's my best
friend and I love him.
1079
00:44:08,597 --> 00:44:09,398
Oh, my...
1080
00:44:09,431 --> 00:44:11,533
- I love him, man.
- Stop saying that.
1081
00:44:11,566 --> 00:44:12,934
We're not stopping.
1082
00:44:12,968 --> 00:44:15,370
Wait, guys...
No, no, no, no, no, no!
1083
00:44:15,404 --> 00:44:16,538
Pop the trunk!
1084
00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:17,139
Pop the trunk.
1085
00:44:17,172 --> 00:44:18,306
Well, how do I do that?
1086
00:44:18,340 --> 00:44:19,207
Pop the trunk!
1087
00:44:19,241 --> 00:44:20,142
Wait!
1088
00:44:20,175 --> 00:44:21,175
Wait!
1089
00:44:24,012 --> 00:44:25,172
I'll kill you, motherfuckers!
1090
00:44:29,317 --> 00:44:30,018
Whoo!
1091
00:44:30,051 --> 00:44:31,051
What a rush!
1092
00:44:34,423 --> 00:44:36,291
Looks like we have another
one gone wild.
1093
00:44:36,324 --> 00:44:37,659
Go figure.
1094
00:44:37,692 --> 00:44:39,612
It must be all the fresh pizza
and chicken wings.
1095
00:44:41,463 --> 00:44:43,383
Drop your weapon and get down on
the ground, sir!
1096
00:44:43,732 --> 00:44:45,500
- Do it now!
- No, no, no, no.
1097
00:44:45,534 --> 00:44:46,368
They robbed me.
1098
00:44:46,401 --> 00:44:47,545
You should be chasing
that Porsche.
1099
00:44:47,569 --> 00:44:49,647
Yeah, I'm sure guys in Porsches
rob shitty Food Marts
1100
00:44:49,671 --> 00:44:50,272
all the time.
1101
00:44:50,305 --> 00:44:51,506
It makes perfect sense.
1102
00:44:51,540 --> 00:44:53,442
Get down on the ground, shitbag!
1103
00:44:53,475 --> 00:44:55,210
Do it, now!
1104
00:44:56,044 --> 00:44:58,380
I'm still failing to understand
what the problem is here.
1105
00:44:59,181 --> 00:45:01,392
Okay, for starters, how about
the fact that you didn't tell us
1106
00:45:01,416 --> 00:45:03,161
we were going to be robbing
a fucking Food Mart.
1107
00:45:03,185 --> 00:45:04,486
Okay, first of all,
1108
00:45:04,519 --> 00:45:07,022
Food Marts get robbed
all the damn time, alright?
1109
00:45:07,055 --> 00:45:08,623
That's the price of selling
cheap shit,
1110
00:45:08,657 --> 00:45:09,624
and being on every block.
1111
00:45:09,658 --> 00:45:11,393
Secondly, I didn't plan this.
1112
00:45:11,426 --> 00:45:14,029
It's just, like, you know,
it's a spontaneous thing.
1113
00:45:14,062 --> 00:45:15,096
I'm a spontaneous dude.
1114
00:45:15,130 --> 00:45:15,964
I knew y'all was broke,
1115
00:45:15,997 --> 00:45:17,566
so I went in
and got y'all some money.
1116
00:45:17,599 --> 00:45:18,533
What's wrong with that?
1117
00:45:18,567 --> 00:45:20,368
So you just happened to carry
a mask and...
1118
00:45:20,402 --> 00:45:21,603
and a gun on you?
1119
00:45:21,636 --> 00:45:23,071
See this gun, fake!
1120
00:45:23,104 --> 00:45:23,738
Man, what are you doing?
1121
00:45:23,773 --> 00:45:25,307
Okay.
1122
00:45:25,340 --> 00:45:27,442
And I wear the mask sometimes
'cause, you know,
1123
00:45:27,476 --> 00:45:28,310
chicks like it.
1124
00:45:28,343 --> 00:45:29,444
I'm a freak.
1125
00:45:32,347 --> 00:45:34,425
You realize the cops are gonna
be looking for us, right?
1126
00:45:34,449 --> 00:45:35,560
'Cause our faces
are on that camera,
1127
00:45:35,584 --> 00:45:37,452
not Mister Ski Mask over here.
1128
00:45:37,486 --> 00:45:39,597
Okay, you shouldn't be concerned
with any of that shit.
1129
00:45:39,621 --> 00:45:40,756
I should be.
1130
00:45:40,790 --> 00:45:41,790
Alright, you're good.
1131
00:45:43,525 --> 00:45:45,160
You're fine with this?
1132
00:45:45,193 --> 00:45:46,337
You're fine with the scenario
the way that all this shit
1133
00:45:46,361 --> 00:45:47,429
went down?
1134
00:45:47,462 --> 00:45:49,631
Neil, I wasn't gonna
leave you, man.
1135
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:51,767
I came back for you,
ma... Jimmy, tell him.
1136
00:45:51,801 --> 00:45:53,235
Yeah, I wanted to leave you.
1137
00:45:53,268 --> 00:45:54,669
I thought you was dead weight.
1138
00:45:54,703 --> 00:45:56,247
But he love you,
so I was like, alright.
1139
00:45:56,271 --> 00:45:57,706
- I love you, man.
- Don't do that.
1140
00:45:57,739 --> 00:45:59,183
- I love you, man.
- You don't love me.
1141
00:45:59,207 --> 00:46:00,318
- Yes, I do.
- You don't love me.
1142
00:46:00,342 --> 00:46:01,586
- Don't...
- Neil, I fuckin' love you, man!
1143
00:46:01,610 --> 00:46:03,211
Don't abuse that word, man.
1144
00:46:03,245 --> 00:46:04,322
Look, is this "The Notebook"?
1145
00:46:04,346 --> 00:46:06,114
Well, y... you wanted
the Porsche.
1146
00:46:06,147 --> 00:46:07,625
You wanted the Porsche,
so we got you the Porsche.
1147
00:46:07,649 --> 00:46:09,360
- I don't care about...
- You wanted to be like Chad.
1148
00:46:09,384 --> 00:46:10,595
- So I got you a Porsche.
- Porsche, baby.
1149
00:46:10,619 --> 00:46:11,419
It's a clean ass Porsche.
1150
00:46:11,453 --> 00:46:12,764
No, I don't care about
the Porsche.
1151
00:46:12,788 --> 00:46:13,455
Who doesn't want a Porsche?
1152
00:46:13,488 --> 00:46:14,189
I never cared about the Porsche.
1153
00:46:14,222 --> 00:46:15,090
No one cares about the Porsche.
1154
00:46:15,123 --> 00:46:16,792
You saying you don't want
this Porsche?
1155
00:46:16,826 --> 00:46:18,560
I want a Porsche.
1156
00:46:18,593 --> 00:46:21,263
In order to have intercourse,
you've got to have a Porsche.
1157
00:46:21,296 --> 00:46:22,597
I didn't want the dick pills.
1158
00:46:22,631 --> 00:46:24,175
And I definitely
don't want to go to jail
1159
00:46:24,199 --> 00:46:25,534
for robbing fucking Food Marts.
1160
00:46:26,668 --> 00:46:29,504
All I wanted was a pineapple
invitation
1161
00:46:29,538 --> 00:46:30,705
and to go to Summer's party.
1162
00:46:30,739 --> 00:46:32,207
Alright, we all got that.
1163
00:46:32,240 --> 00:46:34,242
So me, you and Jimmy,
we can all roll right now
1164
00:46:34,276 --> 00:46:35,744
in the Porsche.
1165
00:46:35,778 --> 00:46:40,315
I... I even held your weird
friend's hand while he orgasmed.
1166
00:46:40,348 --> 00:46:41,392
Hold his hand
when he was whatin'?
1167
00:46:41,416 --> 00:46:43,652
Hey, man, will you...
1168
00:46:43,685 --> 00:46:45,253
I was in there with you.
1169
00:46:45,287 --> 00:46:47,167
Neil, you don't got to say
that shit around him.
1170
00:46:47,890 --> 00:46:50,692
I never would have puked on
Summer if it weren't for you.
1171
00:46:50,725 --> 00:46:52,294
I was just trying to help you.
1172
00:46:54,830 --> 00:46:57,132
Alright, this happens
at my dealership all the time.
1173
00:46:57,165 --> 00:46:59,734
It's called a breakdown of
communication.
1174
00:46:59,769 --> 00:47:02,671
That's what's happening right
now with you guys, okay?
1175
00:47:02,704 --> 00:47:05,808
A great way to solve it is just
by being nice to each other.
1176
00:47:05,841 --> 00:47:07,275
Make up, okay?
1177
00:47:07,944 --> 00:47:09,377
I'm... I'm good. I'm done.
1178
00:47:15,483 --> 00:47:16,651
Do you want me to shoot him?
1179
00:47:21,891 --> 00:47:23,759
Looks like you're my VIP
customer of the night.
1180
00:47:25,895 --> 00:47:27,495
Where's your
friend, the crazy one?
1181
00:47:31,767 --> 00:47:33,134
Fuck him.
1182
00:47:36,504 --> 00:47:39,240
Y'all pretty tight, huh?
1183
00:47:39,274 --> 00:47:41,911
Yeah, that's my best friend.
1184
00:47:41,944 --> 00:47:44,847
Or was... I guess.
1185
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,649
Man, real best friends fight and
make up all the time, man.
1186
00:47:47,682 --> 00:47:50,552
Y'all'll be back, trust that.
1187
00:47:51,553 --> 00:47:52,553
Yeah.
1188
00:47:54,322 --> 00:47:55,734
Want to loosen up a little bit
before we, uh,
1189
00:47:55,758 --> 00:47:57,158
hit this party, though?
1190
00:48:10,238 --> 00:48:11,640
Born ready, man.
1191
00:48:20,248 --> 00:48:21,559
Hey, how's the party?
What's going on?
1192
00:48:21,583 --> 00:48:22,350
Mm.
1193
00:48:22,384 --> 00:48:24,219
Hey, you wanna dance?
1194
00:48:24,252 --> 00:48:27,389
It's alright,
not too crowded yet.
1195
00:48:27,422 --> 00:48:28,422
Is Chad there?
1196
00:48:28,958 --> 00:48:31,726
Oh, I said no gifts!
1197
00:48:31,761 --> 00:48:32,962
Yes.
1198
00:48:32,995 --> 00:48:35,196
And I would advise
bringing her a gift.
1199
00:48:35,230 --> 00:48:37,532
Chad is bringing his A game.
1200
00:48:37,565 --> 00:48:39,401
Of course he is.
1201
00:48:39,434 --> 00:48:40,201
What do I get her?
1202
00:48:40,235 --> 00:48:41,871
Something simple, cute.
1203
00:48:41,904 --> 00:48:43,304
Bring her a pocket dildo.
1204
00:48:43,338 --> 00:48:45,507
N... I'm not gonna get
her a dildo, Jaclyn.
1205
00:48:45,540 --> 00:48:46,374
Okay, bye.
1206
00:48:46,408 --> 00:48:47,509
I gotta go.
1207
00:48:54,516 --> 00:48:55,593
Hey, I'm gonna grab something
from the store.
1208
00:48:55,617 --> 00:48:56,819
I'll be right back.
1209
00:48:56,852 --> 00:48:58,821
Cool, I'll be out here having
fun pumping gas.
1210
00:49:00,488 --> 00:49:01,957
- Hey.
- Hey.
1211
00:49:16,972 --> 00:49:19,240
Can I get thirty on seven
and a pack of menthols, please?
1212
00:49:20,341 --> 00:49:21,043
How you doing?
1213
00:49:21,077 --> 00:49:22,812
Good, you?
1214
00:49:22,845 --> 00:49:24,555
Shitty,
we had a Food Mart hit down the street.
1215
00:49:24,579 --> 00:49:25,915
You guys got any suspects?
1216
00:49:25,948 --> 00:49:27,049
We've got video footage.
1217
00:49:27,083 --> 00:49:30,285
Some handsome motherfucker,
his fat friend, and here.
1218
00:49:31,319 --> 00:49:32,687
Guy, that's my dog.
1219
00:49:32,721 --> 00:49:33,555
We've got video footage.
That's Tommy Lee Jones, yeah.
1220
00:49:33,588 --> 00:49:34,766
He's cute. A little excited,
ain't he?
1221
00:49:34,790 --> 00:49:36,324
Yeah,
that's him and I in Ramerwood.
1222
00:49:36,357 --> 00:49:37,159
It's a Chinese restaurant.
1223
00:49:37,193 --> 00:49:38,994
- What are you doing?
- Don't worry.
1224
00:49:39,028 --> 00:49:40,328
I'm not gonna hurt you.
1225
00:49:40,361 --> 00:49:41,296
Oh, my God, no, no, no!
1226
00:49:41,329 --> 00:49:42,297
Don't do it, don't do it!
1227
00:49:42,330 --> 00:49:43,565
What? Why?
1228
00:49:43,598 --> 00:49:44,910
I'm already committed here
if you can't tell.
1229
00:49:44,934 --> 00:49:46,367
No, I'm...
I'm trying to help you.
1230
00:49:46,401 --> 00:49:47,235
It's my first time.
1231
00:49:47,268 --> 00:49:48,379
They say the first time's
the hardest.
1232
00:49:48,403 --> 00:49:49,805
No, no, no, wait.
1233
00:49:49,839 --> 00:49:50,773
There's a cop at the register.
Seriously, don't do it.
1234
00:49:50,806 --> 00:49:52,041
Stop fuckin' with me, man.
1235
00:49:52,074 --> 00:49:53,341
Do you think this is easy?
1236
00:49:53,374 --> 00:49:54,576
You should try it, dip shit.
1237
00:49:54,609 --> 00:49:56,011
I'm... I'm not... I've...
1238
00:49:58,413 --> 00:50:00,348
That's the video.
1239
00:50:00,381 --> 00:50:02,584
These motherfuckers robbed
a Food Mart in a Porsche.
1240
00:50:02,617 --> 00:50:04,285
Who robs a Food Mart
in a Porsche?
1241
00:50:04,319 --> 00:50:05,286
Nobody does.
1242
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:06,521
It smells fishy.
1243
00:50:06,554 --> 00:50:07,522
We think it's an inside job.
1244
00:50:07,555 --> 00:50:09,624
Let me get two ring pops
for my buddy the Ramrod.
1245
00:50:34,516 --> 00:50:35,383
- What the...
- Don't make me do it!
1246
00:50:35,416 --> 00:50:37,019
Okay, drop the gun now!
1247
00:50:37,052 --> 00:50:38,020
No.
1248
00:50:38,053 --> 00:50:39,789
Drop the gun.
1249
00:50:39,822 --> 00:50:40,622
I'm gonna shoot him.
1250
00:50:40,655 --> 00:50:41,924
No, you're not.
1251
00:50:41,957 --> 00:50:43,769
Yeah, I am and... and then,
and then who knows.
1252
00:50:43,793 --> 00:50:45,070
That shit ain't gonna work
like you think.
1253
00:50:45,094 --> 00:50:48,030
Drop... the gun!
1254
00:50:48,063 --> 00:50:49,464
You drop your gun!
1255
00:50:50,065 --> 00:50:51,065
No!
1256
00:50:57,139 --> 00:50:58,606
I'm gonna shoot him, man.
1257
00:50:58,640 --> 00:51:00,408
You don't know me.
1258
00:51:00,441 --> 00:51:01,643
You don't know my capabilities.
1259
00:51:01,676 --> 00:51:03,645
Wait a minute,
you shut up for a second.
1260
00:51:03,678 --> 00:51:04,746
Are you recording this?
1261
00:51:04,780 --> 00:51:06,347
Yeah, man.
1262
00:51:06,381 --> 00:51:07,859
You guys don't have the best
reputation right now.
1263
00:51:07,883 --> 00:51:09,484
That's right,
Black Lives Matter.
1264
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:11,787
Okay.
1265
00:51:11,821 --> 00:51:13,122
Neither of you two are Black.
1266
00:51:13,155 --> 00:51:14,555
That's why you haven't
shot him yet?
1267
00:51:17,092 --> 00:51:18,593
I know yo...
1268
00:51:18,626 --> 00:51:20,763
You're the handsome
motherfucker from Food Mart.
1269
00:51:21,997 --> 00:51:24,566
Dude, dude, we've gotta go!
1270
00:51:24,599 --> 00:51:25,700
We gotta go!
1271
00:51:28,403 --> 00:51:29,403
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
1272
00:51:36,477 --> 00:51:37,880
Whose list are you on?
1273
00:51:37,913 --> 00:51:39,782
Uh, that will be Ken,
and my name is Ace.
1274
00:51:39,815 --> 00:51:41,050
Ace, huh?
1275
00:51:42,017 --> 00:51:44,019
Yeah, like... like Ventura.
1276
00:51:44,053 --> 00:51:45,754
Alrighty, then!
1277
00:51:46,554 --> 00:51:47,554
Welcome, Ace.
1278
00:51:47,823 --> 00:51:48,590
Nice car.
1279
00:51:48,623 --> 00:51:49,992
It's my weekend whip.
1280
00:51:50,025 --> 00:51:50,826
They're good.
1281
00:51:50,860 --> 00:51:52,660
And here are your mandatory
outfits.
1282
00:51:55,798 --> 00:51:56,866
Outfits?
1283
00:52:00,970 --> 00:52:01,971
Okay.
1284
00:52:05,841 --> 00:52:07,575
Have a good time, gentlemen.
1285
00:52:17,019 --> 00:52:18,586
Sushi to go.
1286
00:52:18,620 --> 00:52:19,989
Sushi to go.
1287
00:52:26,594 --> 00:52:27,997
Man.
1288
00:52:28,030 --> 00:52:29,030
Okay.
1289
00:52:31,666 --> 00:52:32,906
Yo, man, this is the shit, man.
1290
00:52:32,935 --> 00:52:34,203
What did I tell you?
1291
00:52:34,236 --> 00:52:35,137
What did I tell you?
1292
00:52:35,170 --> 00:52:36,038
You told me.
1293
00:52:36,071 --> 00:52:37,139
You, uh, told me.
1294
00:52:37,172 --> 00:52:38,274
This is it.
1295
00:52:38,307 --> 00:52:41,076
Uh, does this seem like a bit of
a guy thing to you?
1296
00:52:41,110 --> 00:52:43,611
Oh, a guy thing to me is
watching football with a beer
1297
00:52:43,645 --> 00:52:44,890
in one hand and my nuts
in the other,
1298
00:52:44,914 --> 00:52:46,714
but I ain't trippin'.
1299
00:52:46,748 --> 00:52:49,550
This is my first
man on man extravaganza.
1300
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:50,753
You got any friends here?
1301
00:52:50,786 --> 00:52:51,787
I don't think so.
1302
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:53,588
Gilbert?
1303
00:52:54,957 --> 00:52:56,557
Gilbert!
1304
00:52:56,591 --> 00:52:57,591
Shit!
1305
00:52:58,928 --> 00:53:00,628
- G Spot!
- Hey.
1306
00:53:00,662 --> 00:53:02,865
How did I know I'd find you
here, you sexy bitch?
1307
00:53:02,898 --> 00:53:04,166
Yeah, we had fun today, right?
1308
00:53:05,667 --> 00:53:06,869
1Up to you, Justin.
1309
00:53:06,902 --> 00:53:08,203
Whoo!
1310
00:53:08,237 --> 00:53:08,938
Hey, man, you've got a little
thing on your...
1311
00:53:08,971 --> 00:53:09,570
Whoa!
1312
00:53:09,604 --> 00:53:10,604
Oh!
1313
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:12,918
- What the fuck was that, man?
- Relax, dude.
1314
00:53:12,942 --> 00:53:14,575
It's just cocaine,
full nose candy.
1315
00:53:14,609 --> 00:53:15,210
Dude, relax.
1316
00:53:15,244 --> 00:53:16,011
Stop being so square.
1317
00:53:16,045 --> 00:53:17,045
Come on.
1318
00:53:20,648 --> 00:53:22,017
Hey, uh, enjoy yourself, G Spot.
1319
00:53:22,051 --> 00:53:22,885
Wait, wait, wait!
1320
00:53:22,918 --> 00:53:23,786
Jimmy, where...
where you goin', man?
1321
00:53:23,819 --> 00:53:24,386
- Come on, dude.
- Where you going, Jimmy?
1322
00:53:24,420 --> 00:53:25,087
We got to dance, bitch!
1323
00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,156
Guys, come meet my friend.
1324
00:53:41,703 --> 00:53:42,972
Oh!
1325
00:53:43,005 --> 00:53:44,639
I'm so glad you made it.
1326
00:53:44,672 --> 00:53:46,809
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
1327
00:53:46,842 --> 00:53:49,510
My pussy and I
have been waiting for you.
1328
00:53:49,544 --> 00:53:52,114
Well, the wait is over
for both of you.
1329
00:53:57,920 --> 00:53:59,088
Hey, buddy.
1330
00:53:59,121 --> 00:54:00,521
Yeah?
1331
00:54:00,555 --> 00:54:01,766
Do you want to hang out
sometime?
1332
00:54:01,790 --> 00:54:03,025
- Uh...
- Here's my card.
1333
00:54:03,058 --> 00:54:05,060
It has all my contact info
on there.
1334
00:54:05,094 --> 00:54:06,728
Oh, and I talked
to my girlfriend.
1335
00:54:06,762 --> 00:54:09,231
She's down to clown around
in threesome town.
1336
00:54:09,264 --> 00:54:11,233
She said you could be the mayor.
1337
00:54:11,266 --> 00:54:13,135
- Okay.
- Cool.
1338
00:54:26,581 --> 00:54:27,850
Jaclyn, hey.
1339
00:54:27,883 --> 00:54:29,184
Jaclyn?
1340
00:54:29,218 --> 00:54:30,218
Hmm?
1341
00:54:30,819 --> 00:54:32,587
- Where is she?
- No.
1342
00:54:32,620 --> 00:54:33,620
No, no.
1343
00:54:33,789 --> 00:54:34,923
I need your help.
1344
00:54:34,957 --> 00:54:37,059
- Jesus Christ.
- Who are you?
1345
00:54:37,092 --> 00:54:38,726
Oh, Jesus Christ!
1346
00:54:38,761 --> 00:54:39,261
Oh, my God.
1347
00:54:39,294 --> 00:54:40,229
I completely forgot.
1348
00:54:40,262 --> 00:54:41,096
He's...
1349
00:54:41,130 --> 00:54:41,729
- Hmm?
- Oh.
1350
00:54:41,764 --> 00:54:42,804
You could go kiss her now.
1351
00:54:54,642 --> 00:54:55,277
Whoa!
1352
00:54:55,310 --> 00:54:55,844
Sorry, dude.
1353
00:54:55,878 --> 00:54:57,079
Watch your step, man.
1354
00:54:57,112 --> 00:54:58,112
My bad.
1355
00:55:17,066 --> 00:55:17,933
Oh!
1356
00:55:17,966 --> 00:55:19,168
Hey, what's up, Black dude.
1357
00:55:19,201 --> 00:55:20,235
How you doing, man?
1358
00:55:20,269 --> 00:55:22,037
I'm looking
for the fuckin' room.
1359
00:55:22,071 --> 00:55:23,638
Any ideas, Lennox Lewis?
1360
00:55:25,941 --> 00:55:26,941
What you got there?
1361
00:55:39,421 --> 00:55:41,656
Show 'em what you got.
1362
00:55:41,689 --> 00:55:43,826
What is that double dickin' it,
or jizz in the eye?
1363
00:55:43,859 --> 00:55:46,661
Alright, you... can you just
support me right now?
1364
00:55:46,694 --> 00:55:47,529
What the fuck? I am.
1365
00:55:47,563 --> 00:55:48,940
You're not being
a good wingwoman at all.
1366
00:55:48,964 --> 00:55:50,099
Yes, I am being a good...
1367
00:55:50,132 --> 00:55:50,966
That's so mean.
1368
00:55:50,999 --> 00:55:51,400
I led you...
1369
00:55:51,433 --> 00:55:52,401
Whoo!
1370
00:55:52,434 --> 00:55:53,936
Just go dance with her.
1371
00:55:53,969 --> 00:55:55,380
She's right fucking there,
and she's asking for it.
1372
00:55:55,404 --> 00:55:56,171
She wants it.
1373
00:55:56,205 --> 00:55:57,638
It's not... No.
1374
00:55:57,672 --> 00:55:58,240
Go!
1375
00:55:58,273 --> 00:55:59,842
It's not the right time.
1376
00:55:59,875 --> 00:56:02,077
It is the right time.
1377
00:56:02,111 --> 00:56:03,744
Let me tell you a secret.
1378
00:56:03,779 --> 00:56:04,847
It is the right time.
1379
00:56:06,381 --> 00:56:07,783
What are you doing?
1380
00:56:07,816 --> 00:56:09,084
I'm cueing you.
1381
00:56:10,385 --> 00:56:11,086
Hi!
1382
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:13,088
I bumped right...
That's so crazy!
1383
00:56:14,289 --> 00:56:15,224
I didn't even mean to do that
at all.
1384
00:56:15,257 --> 00:56:16,225
- Hi.
- Hi.
1385
00:56:16,258 --> 00:56:18,160
You look so sexy.
1386
00:56:18,193 --> 00:56:18,827
Wow.
1387
00:56:18,861 --> 00:56:19,660
- Oh, my God.
- Thank you.
1388
00:56:19,694 --> 00:56:21,430
We should make this
thing happen.
1389
00:56:21,463 --> 00:56:22,965
- Oh, really?
- Oh, we're leaving.
1390
00:56:22,998 --> 00:56:24,342
- Alright, I love you.
- We'll see you in a while.
1391
00:56:24,366 --> 00:56:25,733
- Bye.
- Love you!
1392
00:56:31,874 --> 00:56:33,008
Hey, Summer.
1393
00:56:33,041 --> 00:56:34,443
- Hey!
- Hi.
1394
00:56:34,476 --> 00:56:35,476
Made it!
1395
00:56:36,879 --> 00:56:38,746
Ass?
1396
00:56:38,780 --> 00:56:40,282
Um... Ac... actually...
1397
00:56:40,315 --> 00:56:41,383
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
1398
00:56:41,416 --> 00:56:42,251
I know it's Ace.
1399
00:56:42,284 --> 00:56:43,418
Oh, yeah.
1400
00:56:43,452 --> 00:56:44,052
Good one.
1401
00:56:44,086 --> 00:56:45,754
Ass.
1402
00:56:45,787 --> 00:56:47,165
Yeah, well, actually I have a...
I have the invitation.
1403
00:56:47,189 --> 00:56:48,423
I brought it.
1404
00:56:48,457 --> 00:56:50,058
And you still have it?
1405
00:56:50,092 --> 00:56:51,460
Yeah.
1406
00:56:51,493 --> 00:56:53,728
Security didn't take it
at the door?
1407
00:56:53,762 --> 00:56:56,331
Oh, uh, I didn't... I didn't see
security there.
1408
00:56:56,365 --> 00:56:58,733
- What-
- I'm fucking with you.
1409
00:56:58,767 --> 00:57:00,245
There's no security,
It's not the airport.
1410
00:57:00,269 --> 00:57:01,269
Oh!
1411
00:57:02,371 --> 00:57:03,272
You know I think that you're
the only person that
1412
00:57:03,305 --> 00:57:05,174
has that still.
1413
00:57:05,207 --> 00:57:08,243
Oh, uh, it just... it was nice.
1414
00:57:08,277 --> 00:57:10,012
Oh, my God, um...
1415
00:57:10,045 --> 00:57:11,180
What time is it?
1416
00:57:11,213 --> 00:57:13,849
Um, almost nine.
1417
00:57:14,483 --> 00:57:15,493
I have to go check the food.
1418
00:57:15,517 --> 00:57:17,052
- I'm so sorry.
- Um...
1419
00:57:17,085 --> 00:57:17,920
Okay.
1420
00:57:17,953 --> 00:57:18,820
Stay.
1421
00:57:18,854 --> 00:57:19,454
Dance.
1422
00:57:19,488 --> 00:57:20,289
- Have fun!
- Yeah.
1423
00:57:20,322 --> 00:57:22,690
No, I'll keep...
I'll keep dancing.
1424
00:57:24,126 --> 00:57:25,460
Double dickin' it.
1425
00:57:30,365 --> 00:57:31,300
You know these clowns?
1426
00:57:31,333 --> 00:57:32,201
I know him.
1427
00:57:32,234 --> 00:57:33,101
I know him as Gilbert.
1428
00:57:33,135 --> 00:57:34,735
We play Fortnite together.
1429
00:57:34,770 --> 00:57:35,938
He's a sweet guy.
1430
00:57:35,971 --> 00:57:37,081
He said that you supply him
all the time.
1431
00:57:37,105 --> 00:57:38,907
Oh, that adds up.
1432
00:57:38,941 --> 00:57:40,781
Take the ball gags
out of their fucking mouths.
1433
00:57:42,344 --> 00:57:43,912
Thank you.
1434
00:57:43,946 --> 00:57:45,423
I... I think this is just
all a huge misunderstanding.
1435
00:57:45,447 --> 00:57:47,082
Misunderstanding?
1436
00:57:47,115 --> 00:57:50,219
A misunderstand, no, no,
this is not a misunderstanding.
1437
00:57:50,252 --> 00:57:54,423
This is a fuck up,
that which cannot be un-fucked.
1438
00:57:54,456 --> 00:57:56,325
I throw these parties
because they cater
1439
00:57:56,358 --> 00:57:58,393
to a very specific
clientele base.
1440
00:57:58,427 --> 00:57:59,928
- The gays?
- Yeah.
1441
00:57:59,962 --> 00:58:01,897
Gay guys have so much money
because all they do
1442
00:58:01,930 --> 00:58:05,367
is look amazing, take vacations,
fuck, and do drugs.
1443
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:07,245
And I throw these parties
knowing I will get back three
1444
00:58:07,269 --> 00:58:10,806
or four times the amount
I put in as an investment.
1445
00:58:10,839 --> 00:58:11,873
It's called an ROI.
1446
00:58:11,907 --> 00:58:14,076
And you two fucking clowns
thought it would be okay
1447
00:58:14,109 --> 00:58:16,545
to come in my house and steal
my motherfucking money.
1448
00:58:16,578 --> 00:58:17,913
Look, I... I completely
understand
1449
00:58:17,946 --> 00:58:19,123
where you're coming from,
Lady Victoria.
1450
00:58:19,147 --> 00:58:21,550
You seem to have a very strong
sense of entrepreneurship,
1451
00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:23,428
but... but I actually graduate
high school pretty soon,
1452
00:58:23,452 --> 00:58:24,953
so maybe I can work
off that debt.
1453
00:58:24,987 --> 00:58:26,088
Shut the fuck up.
1454
00:58:26,121 --> 00:58:27,122
- Justin!
- Yeah?
1455
00:58:27,155 --> 00:58:28,290
Did he just say highschool?
1456
00:58:28,323 --> 00:58:31,560
Uh... I wasn't listening,
1457
00:58:31,593 --> 00:58:33,295
but I'm sending you
my deepest apologies.
1458
00:58:33,328 --> 00:58:35,430
What the fuck is wrong with you?
1459
00:58:35,464 --> 00:58:37,833
Jimmy, I'm keeping
your fuckin' Porsche.
1460
00:58:37,866 --> 00:58:39,110
You can say
goodbye to that pussy magnet.
1461
00:58:39,134 --> 00:58:41,236
With all due respect,
Miss White Lady,
1462
00:58:41,270 --> 00:58:42,104
you can't have my Porsche.
1463
00:58:42,137 --> 00:58:43,005
It's a dealership vehicle.
1464
00:58:43,038 --> 00:58:44,148
Oh, 'cause it's a dealership
vehicle?
1465
00:58:44,172 --> 00:58:45,073
Yeah, they'll come after you.
1466
00:58:45,107 --> 00:58:46,008
I'll go to fucking Porsche jail?
1467
00:58:46,041 --> 00:58:47,442
Give her the Porsche.
1468
00:58:47,476 --> 00:58:48,486
- I'm not giving her my Porsche.
- Give her the Porsche.
1469
00:58:48,510 --> 00:58:49,845
What the fuck is wrong with you?
1470
00:58:49,878 --> 00:58:50,779
Give her the Porsche.
1471
00:58:50,812 --> 00:58:51,380
I ain't giving her no damn
Porsche, man.
1472
00:58:51,413 --> 00:58:53,148
Then we'll fuckin' die.
1473
00:58:53,181 --> 00:58:54,592
If either of you two ever come
near me again or ruin
1474
00:58:54,616 --> 00:58:57,019
one of my parties,
I will personally
1475
00:58:57,052 --> 00:58:58,587
be responsible for burning both
1476
00:58:58,620 --> 00:59:01,456
of your useless fucking
dicks off.
1477
00:59:01,490 --> 00:59:03,434
That makes it... that makes it
sound like one of you
1478
00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:04,559
might have two dicks.
1479
00:59:04,593 --> 00:59:06,495
Okay, to clarify,
you both have one dick
1480
00:59:06,528 --> 00:59:08,563
and I'm burning that dick off.
1481
00:59:09,498 --> 00:59:10,578
The keys are in his pocket.
1482
00:59:17,239 --> 00:59:18,140
Okay.
1483
00:59:18,173 --> 00:59:18,573
Hey!
1484
00:59:18,607 --> 00:59:19,574
Hey, Chad.
1485
00:59:19,608 --> 00:59:20,976
How you doing, man?
1486
00:59:21,009 --> 00:59:22,153
Wh... are you having a good time,
Ace, right?
1487
00:59:22,177 --> 00:59:23,945
Uh, yeah.
1488
00:59:23,979 --> 00:59:25,147
Yeah, thanks, man.
1489
00:59:25,180 --> 00:59:26,281
Just got here, so.
1490
00:59:26,315 --> 00:59:27,883
Listen, um,
1491
00:59:30,585 --> 00:59:33,455
You like Summer, right?
1492
00:59:33,488 --> 00:59:35,357
Uh, she's... she's cool.
1493
00:59:35,390 --> 00:59:37,292
Man, she's beyond cool.
1494
00:59:37,326 --> 00:59:37,859
Am I right, Matt?
1495
00:59:37,893 --> 00:59:39,628
Like, bro, of course.
1496
00:59:39,661 --> 00:59:42,197
We know she your baddy, brah.
1497
00:59:42,230 --> 00:59:43,899
- I don't...
- Listen, listen.
1498
00:59:43,932 --> 00:59:45,901
You know, we're...
we're both handsome guys.
1499
00:59:45,934 --> 00:59:47,903
We skip dessert every now
and then.
1500
00:59:47,936 --> 00:59:49,171
No hard feelings.
1501
00:59:52,607 --> 00:59:54,242
May the best man win.
1502
00:59:55,377 --> 00:59:56,377
What?
1503
00:59:57,145 --> 00:59:58,046
Get outta here, man!
1504
00:59:58,080 --> 00:59:58,914
You too!
1505
00:59:58,947 --> 01:00:00,349
Oh, man!
1506
01:00:02,617 --> 01:00:04,562
I cannot go back to work without
that Porsche, man.
1507
01:00:04,586 --> 01:00:06,488
Why can't you just tell them it
was stolen?
1508
01:00:06,521 --> 01:00:09,157
Because I've used that excuse
like a thousand times.
1509
01:00:13,228 --> 01:00:14,529
Bingo, bitch!
1510
01:00:14,831 --> 01:00:17,132
How're we gonna get it
outta there?
1511
01:00:17,165 --> 01:00:18,165
Um...
1512
01:00:27,442 --> 01:00:28,510
What are you doing, man?
1513
01:00:30,045 --> 01:00:30,912
What are you looking for?
1514
01:00:30,946 --> 01:00:31,946
Uh...
1515
01:00:32,381 --> 01:00:33,381
This.
1516
01:00:34,282 --> 01:00:35,282
Are you sure about this?
1517
01:00:36,585 --> 01:00:38,220
You're welcome to call an Uber.
1518
01:00:38,253 --> 01:00:39,564
I don't have
any fucking pants on.
1519
01:00:39,588 --> 01:00:41,089
My phone was in my pants.
1520
01:00:41,123 --> 01:00:41,690
Exactly.
1521
01:00:41,723 --> 01:00:42,723
Get in.
1522
01:00:44,559 --> 01:00:45,559
Fuck!
1523
01:00:46,561 --> 01:00:48,630
Oh, God!
1524
01:00:48,663 --> 01:00:51,199
This was uh,
this was a fucking mistake.
1525
01:00:53,935 --> 01:00:55,303
Another fucking condom!
1526
01:00:56,471 --> 01:00:57,572
Oh, shit!
1527
01:00:59,174 --> 01:01:00,375
What the fuck was that?
1528
01:01:00,409 --> 01:01:00,909
Nothing.
1529
01:01:00,942 --> 01:01:01,943
I just pooted, man.
1530
01:01:01,977 --> 01:01:02,411
Relax.
1531
01:01:02,444 --> 01:01:03,645
In my face, man?
1532
01:01:03,678 --> 01:01:05,347
We are in a tube of shit.
1533
01:01:05,380 --> 01:01:07,048
I can't fuckin' breathe, man!
1534
01:01:07,082 --> 01:01:08,082
Come on.
1535
01:01:09,751 --> 01:01:11,620
Uh... My back's all fucked up
right now.
1536
01:01:13,221 --> 01:01:14,821
You know I've got problems
with my knees.
1537
01:01:16,324 --> 01:01:17,225
- What the fuck?
- I know.
1538
01:01:17,259 --> 01:01:18,093
- What the fuck?
- I know.
1539
01:01:18,126 --> 01:01:19,227
- What the fuck?
- I know.
1540
01:01:19,261 --> 01:01:20,962
- So get rid of it!
- I can't!
1541
01:01:20,996 --> 01:01:22,607
If I let it go, it's gonna bite
the shit out of me, alright.
1542
01:01:22,631 --> 01:01:23,975
- Do you want that to happen?
- No.
1543
01:01:23,999 --> 01:01:24,566
- Do you?
- No!
1544
01:01:24,599 --> 01:01:25,734
- Do you?
- No!
1545
01:01:25,768 --> 01:01:27,269
Let's find something
to kill it with.
1546
01:01:27,302 --> 01:01:29,371
I'll go get the car.
1547
01:01:32,107 --> 01:01:33,175
Snake!
1548
01:01:33,208 --> 01:01:36,745
Why do I got to keep
seeing you? Mm?
1549
01:01:36,779 --> 01:01:38,079
What did I say?
1550
01:01:38,113 --> 01:01:39,648
Hey!
1551
01:01:39,681 --> 01:01:42,050
Why do I have to keep dealing
with you and your tiny twin?
1552
01:01:42,083 --> 01:01:43,243
Wait, where's your tiny twin?
1553
01:01:55,564 --> 01:01:56,398
I killed her.
1554
01:01:56,431 --> 01:01:57,499
I fucking killed her, man.
1555
01:01:57,532 --> 01:01:58,733
Shit!
1556
01:01:58,768 --> 01:02:00,535
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
1557
01:02:00,569 --> 01:02:02,504
Stop!
1558
01:02:02,537 --> 01:02:04,573
She's fine, alright.
1559
01:02:04,606 --> 01:02:06,150
I'm sure this isn't
the first time she's been hit
1560
01:02:06,174 --> 01:02:08,778
in the head
with a fucking shovel.
1561
01:02:08,811 --> 01:02:11,646
And what the fuck
is your problem, man?
1562
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:13,615
You're the reason
why we're even in this shit.
1563
01:02:13,648 --> 01:02:14,893
You want to rob people and shit.
1564
01:02:14,917 --> 01:02:17,352
You need to stop it, 'cause
you're not good at it, Jimmy.
1565
01:02:17,385 --> 01:02:19,054
You suck at it, Jimmy.
1566
01:02:25,727 --> 01:02:32,467
A thirty year-old grown ass man
who lives in his dad's basement.
1567
01:02:32,501 --> 01:02:36,438
I've accomplished nothing,
literally nothing.
1568
01:02:39,374 --> 01:02:44,546
Now I'm sitting here
in my boxers
1569
01:02:44,579 --> 01:02:49,417
covered in sewage with fucking
snake semen in my eyes.
1570
01:02:55,423 --> 01:02:56,725
She didn't burn our dicks off.
1571
01:03:06,101 --> 01:03:07,837
I think I'm gonna call it
a night.
1572
01:03:07,870 --> 01:03:09,304
I'm not really
in the mood to party.
1573
01:03:11,373 --> 01:03:13,441
Do you think I could come inside
and take a shower,
1574
01:03:13,475 --> 01:03:15,443
borrow some clothes?
1575
01:03:16,278 --> 01:03:17,345
Okay.
1576
01:03:21,216 --> 01:03:23,151
I have someone else's shit
in my ass.
1577
01:03:37,666 --> 01:03:39,534
Hey, ladies and gentlemen,
1578
01:03:39,568 --> 01:03:42,437
can I get your attention,
please?
1579
01:03:42,470 --> 01:03:44,272
What do you think?
1580
01:03:44,306 --> 01:03:46,508
Let's have a motherfucking
dance off!
1581
01:04:00,756 --> 01:04:02,190
Boy, you look goofy as hell.
1582
01:04:02,223 --> 01:04:03,625
What do you have me wearing?
1583
01:04:03,658 --> 01:04:06,161
You look like a 90s lesbian,
1584
01:04:06,194 --> 01:04:08,463
like a blackened blueberry.
1585
01:04:08,496 --> 01:04:10,498
You wanna play?
1586
01:04:10,532 --> 01:04:11,466
Get that, get that.
1587
01:04:11,499 --> 01:04:12,701
Yeah, give me all of that.
1588
01:04:12,734 --> 01:04:13,869
Oh, got you shawty.
1589
01:04:13,903 --> 01:04:14,837
Oh, my God!
1590
01:04:14,870 --> 01:04:15,871
Got you shawty.
1591
01:04:15,905 --> 01:04:16,705
Yeah.
1592
01:04:16,738 --> 01:04:17,739
Yeah.
1593
01:04:17,773 --> 01:04:18,841
Why am I going...
1594
01:04:18,874 --> 01:04:21,643
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
1595
01:04:21,676 --> 01:04:25,714
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
1596
01:04:25,747 --> 01:04:29,751
- ♪ Happy Birthday, dear Jimmy ♪
- Oh, my God.
1597
01:04:29,785 --> 01:04:35,156
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
1598
01:04:35,190 --> 01:04:36,190
Birthday?
1599
01:04:37,827 --> 01:04:40,595
So, how you fellas gonna
celebrate this event?
1600
01:04:41,563 --> 01:04:45,533
Well, I had this really cool
party lined up for tonight.
1601
01:04:45,567 --> 01:04:46,802
Oh.
1602
01:04:46,836 --> 01:04:49,237
But your son here's playing
hardball with me.
1603
01:04:49,270 --> 01:04:50,438
It's a high school party.
1604
01:04:51,774 --> 01:04:52,775
Hmm.
1605
01:04:52,808 --> 01:04:54,743
That's fine.
1606
01:04:54,777 --> 01:04:59,381
I was hoping for some father
and son time anyway.
1607
01:04:59,414 --> 01:05:04,887
You know, I think
"Casablanca" is on TCM again.
1608
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:09,792
I could fix some popcorn
and s'mores.
1609
01:05:09,825 --> 01:05:11,894
We can hang around, you know.
1610
01:05:12,962 --> 01:05:14,195
Fuck you, Dad.
1611
01:05:21,003 --> 01:05:24,739
Attention Unit
3465, we have reports that a Porsche,
1612
01:05:24,774 --> 01:05:27,475
tinted windows,
no plate heading westbound,
1613
01:05:27,509 --> 01:05:29,544
Highway 84 towards downtown.
1614
01:05:29,577 --> 01:05:30,512
Please respond immediately.
1615
01:05:30,545 --> 01:05:31,847
Goddamn it!
1616
01:05:31,881 --> 01:05:33,881
I'm not even gonna be able
to finish my dinner now.
1617
01:05:41,322 --> 01:05:42,691
Ooh, this place is nice!
1618
01:05:44,592 --> 01:05:46,227
I'll go look for my buddy.
1619
01:05:46,261 --> 01:05:47,696
Alright.
1620
01:05:47,729 --> 01:05:48,730
Do your thing, man.
1621
01:05:48,764 --> 01:05:49,364
Give me that shit.
1622
01:05:49,397 --> 01:05:50,532
Hey, man, that's my drink.
1623
01:05:50,565 --> 01:05:51,733
Yeah, I know.
1624
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:53,444
I don't want any fights
from you.
1625
01:05:53,468 --> 01:05:55,403
Yeah, I know.
1626
01:05:55,437 --> 01:05:56,438
With your lemon shirt.
1627
01:06:15,758 --> 01:06:17,038
Looks like it's your turn,
buddy.
1628
01:06:24,466 --> 01:06:25,667
Holy shit, boy!
1629
01:06:40,548 --> 01:06:41,784
What are you doing?
1630
01:06:41,817 --> 01:06:43,451
- We need to do this.
- Do what?
1631
01:06:43,485 --> 01:06:44,120
- Dance.
- Dan...
1632
01:06:44,153 --> 01:06:44,820
We're not dancing right now.
1633
01:06:44,854 --> 01:06:45,720
Yes, we are dancing right now.
1634
01:06:45,755 --> 01:06:47,655
- Yeah, we are.
- No, we're not dancing.
1635
01:06:47,689 --> 01:06:48,891
- You know why?
- Why?
1636
01:06:51,526 --> 01:06:52,895
What are they doing?
1637
01:06:55,730 --> 01:06:57,341
Always got your back,
and you know it, man.
1638
01:06:57,365 --> 01:06:58,366
I've got your back.
1639
01:06:59,467 --> 01:07:00,467
I've got you.
1640
01:07:15,550 --> 01:07:19,387
No, I don't know
why you're not there
1641
01:07:19,420 --> 01:07:23,092
I give you my love,
but you don't care
1642
01:07:23,125 --> 01:07:26,929
So what is right
and what is wrong?
1643
01:07:26,962 --> 01:07:29,064
Give me a sign
1644
01:07:29,098 --> 01:07:30,833
What is love?
1645
01:07:30,866 --> 01:07:33,401
Oh, baby, don't hurt me
1646
01:07:33,434 --> 01:07:36,839
Don't hurt me, no more
1647
01:07:36,872 --> 01:07:38,640
What is love?
1648
01:07:38,673 --> 01:07:40,976
Oh, baby, don't hurt me
1649
01:07:41,010 --> 01:07:44,345
Don't hurt me, no more
1650
01:08:05,801 --> 01:08:06,869
Lemon.
1651
01:08:09,805 --> 01:08:13,608
No, I don't know what can I do?
1652
01:08:13,641 --> 01:08:17,545
What else can I say?
It's up to you
1653
01:08:17,579 --> 01:08:19,380
I know we're one...
1654
01:08:19,414 --> 01:08:20,883
I love you, Ace!
1655
01:08:20,916 --> 01:08:23,052
I can't go on
1656
01:08:23,919 --> 01:08:24,919
What is love?
1657
01:08:31,994 --> 01:08:33,128
Why do we not notice him?
1658
01:08:33,162 --> 01:08:35,463
Why can't we join in right now?
1659
01:08:35,496 --> 01:08:37,599
Ace, go Ace, go Ace...
1660
01:08:47,209 --> 01:08:48,443
What is love?
1661
01:09:00,890 --> 01:09:03,591
It's not about how hard
you get hit.
1662
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:06,161
It's about how fast
you get back up.
1663
01:09:12,001 --> 01:09:12,600
I'm sorry, pal.
1664
01:09:12,634 --> 01:09:14,837
You did you did your best.
1665
01:09:14,870 --> 01:09:16,214
Man, I'm just trying
to show love, bro.
1666
01:09:16,238 --> 01:09:19,108
Hey, funny little dude.
1667
01:09:19,141 --> 01:09:20,843
I didn't know you could
dance like that.
1668
01:09:20,876 --> 01:09:22,686
Yeah, well, there's a lot of
things we don't know
1669
01:09:22,710 --> 01:09:23,779
about each other, baby.
1670
01:09:25,613 --> 01:09:27,715
- I crossed the line.
- You absolutely did.
1671
01:09:27,749 --> 01:09:29,493
- I can't call you, baby?
- You definitely cannot.
1672
01:09:29,517 --> 01:09:31,120
You're right.
1673
01:09:31,153 --> 01:09:31,754
You're very right.
1674
01:09:31,787 --> 01:09:32,955
Can we start over, please?
1675
01:09:34,089 --> 01:09:35,690
Sure.
1676
01:09:35,723 --> 01:09:37,558
- Gilbert.
- Ava.
1677
01:09:39,228 --> 01:09:40,561
- Would you like to dance?
- Hi.
1678
01:09:42,497 --> 01:09:43,665
Have fun.
1679
01:10:03,852 --> 01:10:06,121
That was um...
1680
01:10:06,155 --> 01:10:08,190
It's was a lot of fun to watch.
1681
01:10:08,223 --> 01:10:08,891
Thank... thanks.
1682
01:10:08,924 --> 01:10:10,558
Yeah, I've worked on it a lot.
1683
01:10:10,591 --> 01:10:11,693
I can tell.
1684
01:10:13,728 --> 01:10:15,898
Do you want to dance?
1685
01:10:15,931 --> 01:10:18,133
You wa...
you want to dance with me?
1686
01:10:18,167 --> 01:10:19,168
Yes.
1687
01:10:21,070 --> 01:10:22,838
Yeah, just give me one second.
1688
01:10:24,106 --> 01:10:24,974
Okay.
1689
01:10:25,007 --> 01:10:26,007
Cool.
1690
01:10:33,449 --> 01:10:34,826
Where the fuck did that dance
routine come from?
1691
01:10:34,850 --> 01:10:36,227
Okay, so it's a game me
and Neil play.
1692
01:10:36,251 --> 01:10:37,829
No, that is something
you guys rehearsed.
1693
01:10:37,853 --> 01:10:38,619
No, see, no.
1694
01:10:38,653 --> 01:10:40,155
Your timing was tight.
1695
01:10:40,189 --> 01:10:41,866
I don't want y'all to think
we just be in the rooms like...
1696
01:10:41,890 --> 01:10:43,567
You guys do that every night
before you go to bed.
1697
01:10:43,591 --> 01:10:44,259
- 100% right?
- No, no, no.
1698
01:10:44,293 --> 01:10:45,593
Do you know what I'm saying?
1699
01:10:45,626 --> 01:10:46,795
I believe you this much.
1700
01:10:54,203 --> 01:10:55,938
You're doing great.
1701
01:10:57,605 --> 01:10:58,605
You're doing great!
1702
01:11:06,647 --> 01:11:08,017
Sorry it had to be like this,
bro.
1703
01:11:13,222 --> 01:11:15,157
Oh, my God!
1704
01:11:15,190 --> 01:11:16,557
Oh, my God!
1705
01:11:36,744 --> 01:11:38,313
Aw, man, gross!
1706
01:11:39,714 --> 01:11:40,548
Are you alright?
1707
01:11:40,581 --> 01:11:42,284
- That looked gnarly.
- Fuck you, man!
1708
01:11:42,317 --> 01:11:43,318
Hey, whoa!
1709
01:11:43,352 --> 01:11:44,953
What the hell just happened?
1710
01:11:44,987 --> 01:11:46,331
They pushed the porta potty
in the pool.
1711
01:11:46,355 --> 01:11:47,022
That's a lie.
1712
01:11:47,056 --> 01:11:47,655
Did you fuckin' do this, Chad?
1713
01:11:47,688 --> 01:11:49,224
What? Why would I do that?
1714
01:11:49,258 --> 01:11:50,691
This guy's our good friend,
1715
01:11:50,725 --> 01:11:52,361
not to mention hell of a dancer.
1716
01:11:52,394 --> 01:11:53,862
Aw, why would you do that?
1717
01:11:55,297 --> 01:11:56,899
Oh!
1718
01:11:56,932 --> 01:11:58,572
I'm not sorry it
had to be like this, bro.
1719
01:12:01,203 --> 01:12:02,071
Freak!
1720
01:12:02,104 --> 01:12:02,938
This is nasty!
1721
01:12:02,971 --> 01:12:04,739
Get out!
1722
01:12:04,773 --> 01:12:06,141
Get out of my party right now.
1723
01:12:06,175 --> 01:12:07,815
- What the fuck did we do?
- Just get out!
1724
01:12:09,710 --> 01:12:11,180
Hey, guys, five-O is here!
1725
01:12:11,213 --> 01:12:12,081
Five-O!
1726
01:12:12,114 --> 01:12:14,283
Come on, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
1727
01:12:14,316 --> 01:12:16,118
Hey! Let's go!
1728
01:12:17,920 --> 01:12:18,920
Go!
1729
01:12:20,655 --> 01:12:21,655
Come on!
1730
01:12:24,827 --> 01:12:26,228
Gilbert, come on!
1731
01:12:29,898 --> 01:12:31,100
Oh, shit!
1732
01:12:34,269 --> 01:12:35,104
What are we gonna do?
1733
01:12:35,137 --> 01:12:37,039
Um, come on.
1734
01:12:37,738 --> 01:12:38,706
Come on, come on.
1735
01:12:38,739 --> 01:12:40,675
Wait for me, wait for me!
1736
01:12:40,708 --> 01:12:42,010
Goddamn it.
1737
01:12:42,044 --> 01:12:43,278
I miss high school parties.
1738
01:12:50,953 --> 01:12:51,953
Yes!
1739
01:12:59,761 --> 01:13:00,762
Let's do this.
1740
01:13:03,731 --> 01:13:04,833
That could use some oil.
1741
01:13:06,734 --> 01:13:08,454
What the fuck is
wrong with the garage door?
1742
01:13:10,005 --> 01:13:11,273
Jesus Christ.
1743
01:13:12,274 --> 01:13:12,841
Look at these...
1744
01:13:12,875 --> 01:13:14,176
Yeah, this is a party.
1745
01:13:25,787 --> 01:13:27,587
That was that fat motherfucker
from Food Mart.
1746
01:13:34,062 --> 01:13:35,831
Right? Right?
1747
01:13:35,864 --> 01:13:37,208
Don't you love the sound of
those sirens?
1748
01:13:37,232 --> 01:13:38,867
Yeah, that's why I'm a cop.
1749
01:13:41,904 --> 01:13:43,114
I'm too young to go to jail,
man.
1750
01:13:43,138 --> 01:13:46,241
Ain't going to jail,
not on my watch.
1751
01:13:50,312 --> 01:13:52,881
- Want some?
- Yeah.
1752
01:13:52,915 --> 01:13:54,983
I fuckin' didn't get to finish
my shit earlier.
1753
01:13:56,451 --> 01:13:58,353
Could I have some of that soda,
please?
1754
01:13:58,387 --> 01:13:59,454
No.
1755
01:14:09,998 --> 01:14:11,476
Oh, hey, did I tell you
I was cutting out dairy?
1756
01:14:11,500 --> 01:14:12,267
Yeah.
1757
01:14:12,301 --> 01:14:13,235
I noticed.
1758
01:14:13,268 --> 01:14:14,102
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1759
01:14:14,136 --> 01:14:15,837
You ask for no cheese
on the burger.
1760
01:14:15,871 --> 01:14:17,511
Yeah, I'm not fuckin' around
anymore, man.
1761
01:14:24,146 --> 01:14:25,146
Goddamn.
1762
01:14:26,982 --> 01:14:28,817
Right? Right?
1763
01:14:33,255 --> 01:14:34,575
What the fuck
are we gonna do now?
1764
01:14:40,862 --> 01:14:43,498
Sorry, kid, shit's about to get
real complicated.
1765
01:14:46,001 --> 01:14:48,403
I will find them and I will kill
them myself.
1766
01:14:50,138 --> 01:14:51,240
It's pretty good.
1767
01:14:55,177 --> 01:14:56,278
Fuck!
1768
01:14:56,311 --> 01:14:58,914
Why would you do that?
1769
01:14:58,947 --> 01:15:00,849
What is your problems, man?
1770
01:15:01,749 --> 01:15:03,285
There's only one way out
of here, man.
1771
01:15:03,318 --> 01:15:04,519
We've got to get creative.
1772
01:15:04,553 --> 01:15:05,854
What you about to do, dumb-ass?
1773
01:15:05,887 --> 01:15:06,887
I'm sorry.
1774
01:15:07,155 --> 01:15:07,556
Yo.
1775
01:15:07,589 --> 01:15:09,224
Oh, fuck!
1776
01:15:09,258 --> 01:15:10,292
I'm sorry.
1777
01:15:10,325 --> 01:15:11,360
- Why?
- Why?
1778
01:15:11,393 --> 01:15:12,394
- Why?
- Sorry.
1779
01:15:12,427 --> 01:15:13,095
- Why?
- Why?
1780
01:15:13,128 --> 01:15:14,796
- Why?
- I don't know, man.
1781
01:15:14,830 --> 01:15:16,098
I'm sorry, man.
1782
01:15:16,131 --> 01:15:17,499
You just shot me.
1783
01:15:22,938 --> 01:15:24,840
- Why?
- Shit, I don't know, man.
1784
01:15:24,873 --> 01:15:25,974
Why?
1785
01:15:26,008 --> 01:15:27,109
Oh, shit!
1786
01:15:28,277 --> 01:15:29,978
You happy? We've even now.
1787
01:15:30,012 --> 01:15:31,179
Why did you do that?
1788
01:15:31,213 --> 01:15:32,490
I don't know,
I see why you was screaming.
1789
01:15:32,514 --> 01:15:34,316
That shit hurt.
1790
01:15:34,349 --> 01:15:35,517
You got to trust me.
1791
01:15:35,550 --> 01:15:37,519
Let me do the talking.
1792
01:15:37,552 --> 01:15:40,355
Do not say anything
to the fucking cops, okay?
1793
01:15:40,389 --> 01:15:41,466
I mean this shit hurts, man.
1794
01:15:41,490 --> 01:15:42,557
Oh man, I know, nigga!
1795
01:15:42,591 --> 01:15:44,126
I just shot me!
1796
01:15:44,159 --> 01:15:45,427
I know.
1797
01:15:46,161 --> 01:15:49,231
Goddamnit man, I regret this!
1798
01:15:53,001 --> 01:15:54,001
Catch!
1799
01:15:57,606 --> 01:15:58,616
Sorry,
ladies, that concludes the joyride portion
1800
01:15:58,640 --> 01:15:59,574
of your evening.
1801
01:15:59,608 --> 01:16:00,685
It's time to pay the piper.
1802
01:16:00,709 --> 01:16:01,910
Officer, help!
1803
01:16:01,943 --> 01:16:03,178
We've just been shot.
1804
01:16:03,211 --> 01:16:04,179
We need to go to the hospital.
1805
01:16:04,212 --> 01:16:06,615
This... this maniac just
went apeshit on us!
1806
01:16:08,183 --> 01:16:11,019
Told you, inside job.
1807
01:16:11,053 --> 01:16:12,154
You're so good.
1808
01:16:13,288 --> 01:16:16,091
Oh, buddy, you know the drill.
1809
01:16:16,124 --> 01:16:17,025
Gun down on the ground.
1810
01:16:17,059 --> 01:16:18,927
Do it, now!
1811
01:16:18,960 --> 01:16:20,529
Lay down, Apu!
1812
01:16:20,562 --> 01:16:21,496
Do it, now!
1813
01:16:21,530 --> 01:16:22,864
Put the gun on the ground, Apu.
1814
01:16:22,898 --> 01:16:25,434
Do it, now!
1815
01:16:25,467 --> 01:16:26,968
I got a goddamn headache
from that.
1816
01:16:29,504 --> 01:16:32,607
Forgot to give Summer
her favourite chocolate.
1817
01:16:32,641 --> 01:16:35,010
Okay, and who cares?
1818
01:16:35,043 --> 01:16:35,610
It's chocolate.
1819
01:16:35,644 --> 01:16:36,978
She'll live without it.
1820
01:16:37,012 --> 01:16:38,246
Yeah, I guess she will.
1821
01:16:43,218 --> 01:16:44,319
What?
1822
01:16:47,356 --> 01:16:50,292
Neil, I know girls.
1823
01:16:50,325 --> 01:16:53,328
Okay,
you know that I know girls.
1824
01:16:53,362 --> 01:16:56,131
Summer is a normal,
down to earth, girl.
1825
01:16:56,164 --> 01:16:57,375
She doesn't give a shit about
all the bullshit
1826
01:16:57,399 --> 01:16:59,501
you think she cares about.
1827
01:16:59,534 --> 01:17:01,670
And, you know what, Neil?
1828
01:17:01,703 --> 01:17:07,008
As much as I fuckin' hate saying
this, you're kind of funny,
1829
01:17:07,042 --> 01:17:08,577
and you're a super-talented
pervert,
1830
01:17:08,610 --> 01:17:10,045
so just go and fucking
talk to her.
1831
01:17:15,584 --> 01:17:16,485
No fuckin' way.
1832
01:17:16,518 --> 01:17:19,254
Why not? What the fuck is wrong
with you?
1833
01:17:19,287 --> 01:17:20,631
You've literally been beating
off to Summer
1834
01:17:20,655 --> 01:17:22,624
for the past five years.
1835
01:17:22,657 --> 01:17:24,235
I'm not gonna let you give up
now, needle dick.
1836
01:17:24,259 --> 01:17:25,127
Go and talk to her.
1837
01:17:25,160 --> 01:17:26,928
I'm not going back there.
1838
01:17:26,962 --> 01:17:27,662
She's sitting over there with...
1839
01:17:27,696 --> 01:17:29,231
with shit in her pool right now.
1840
01:17:29,264 --> 01:17:30,332
It's not the right time.
1841
01:17:32,033 --> 01:17:34,035
Can I tell you a secret?
1842
01:17:35,170 --> 01:17:37,973
The right time is now.
1843
01:17:38,006 --> 01:17:39,541
- Jaclyn, stop...
- Now!
1844
01:17:39,574 --> 01:17:41,009
- I can't hit you back.
- Go!
1845
01:17:41,042 --> 01:17:42,177
Stop hitting me.
1846
01:17:42,210 --> 01:17:44,045
Promise to talk to me,
just don't hit me.
1847
01:17:44,679 --> 01:17:46,181
Okay, fine.
1848
01:17:46,214 --> 01:17:47,214
God.
1849
01:17:50,552 --> 01:17:51,987
Just go!
1850
01:17:52,554 --> 01:17:53,422
Fuck!
1851
01:17:53,455 --> 01:17:54,455
Okay.
1852
01:17:55,157 --> 01:17:57,292
Fine!
1853
01:17:57,325 --> 01:17:58,326
Alright, see ya later.
1854
01:18:07,235 --> 01:18:08,603
Fucking clean up my own party.
1855
01:18:08,637 --> 01:18:09,637
Jesus.
1856
01:18:12,407 --> 01:18:13,508
Hey!
1857
01:18:15,644 --> 01:18:17,512
Can I help you?
1858
01:18:17,546 --> 01:18:19,047
No, I live here.
1859
01:18:20,248 --> 01:18:21,516
Can I help you?
1860
01:18:21,550 --> 01:18:23,218
I... it's just...
it's a mess out here,
1861
01:18:23,251 --> 01:18:25,020
so I figured you could use
some help.
1862
01:18:25,053 --> 01:18:27,355
No, I just want to be alone.
1863
01:18:27,389 --> 01:18:28,389
Thanks.
1864
01:18:32,795 --> 01:18:35,664
I brought you a birthday
present.
1865
01:18:38,533 --> 01:18:39,634
Those are my favourite.
1866
01:18:42,170 --> 01:18:42,671
How'd you know?
1867
01:18:42,704 --> 01:18:43,705
Are you stalking me?
1868
01:18:44,573 --> 01:18:46,041
Yeah.
1869
01:18:46,074 --> 01:18:47,742
No, no.
1870
01:18:47,777 --> 01:18:50,712
No, really, I... I mean, like,
I've been through your Instagram
1871
01:18:50,745 --> 01:18:55,050
and ha-harmless online stuff,
but not, uh, not drive-bys
1872
01:18:55,083 --> 01:18:57,085
or anything, anything wild.
1873
01:18:57,719 --> 01:18:58,754
Okay.
1874
01:19:00,622 --> 01:19:03,291
As long as it's just
Instagram stalking.
1875
01:19:06,127 --> 01:19:07,162
Cheers!
1876
01:19:14,236 --> 01:19:17,072
Oh, wow, you got, um,
1877
01:19:17,105 --> 01:19:19,174
you've got like a lot of
chocolate in your teeth.
1878
01:19:19,207 --> 01:19:20,609
Oh!
1879
01:19:20,642 --> 01:19:23,245
It kind of looks like you took
a swim in my pool, Neil.
1880
01:19:23,278 --> 01:19:24,278
Sorry.
1881
01:19:27,249 --> 01:19:29,050
What'd you just call me?
1882
01:19:29,084 --> 01:19:30,084
Neil.
1883
01:19:30,218 --> 01:19:32,220
It's your name, right?
1884
01:19:32,687 --> 01:19:33,722
Um...
1885
01:19:35,690 --> 01:19:36,691
What's wrong?
1886
01:19:44,132 --> 01:19:45,367
What is it?
1887
01:19:47,235 --> 01:19:48,103
Nothing, nothing.
1888
01:19:48,136 --> 01:19:50,705
Um, no I'm fine.
1889
01:19:51,573 --> 01:19:53,141
Mm-kay.
1890
01:19:54,342 --> 01:19:58,680
You know what really pisses me
off about all of this?
1891
01:19:58,713 --> 01:20:00,115
None of this was even for me.
1892
01:20:01,483 --> 01:20:03,285
It was for everyone else,
1893
01:20:03,685 --> 01:20:05,396
because if it was for me
I would have just gone to dinner
1894
01:20:05,420 --> 01:20:06,454
with a bunch of friends.
1895
01:20:07,857 --> 01:20:10,125
Girls really just have it harder
than guys do.
1896
01:20:10,158 --> 01:20:11,359
No offense.
1897
01:20:12,594 --> 01:20:14,238
Because we're always trying to
please people
1898
01:20:14,262 --> 01:20:17,499
and avoid the aggressive
douchebags like Chad
1899
01:20:17,532 --> 01:20:19,534
and this new guy named Ace.
1900
01:20:19,568 --> 01:20:20,568
Hmm.
1901
01:20:20,836 --> 01:20:22,137
Dick.
1902
01:20:22,170 --> 01:20:24,807
I hate dicks, but to be
honest with you,
1903
01:20:24,840 --> 01:20:28,543
sometimes I wish I had one,
a dick, like a bigass dick,
1904
01:20:28,577 --> 01:20:30,154
'cause I think that it would
just make my life
1905
01:20:30,178 --> 01:20:31,179
so much easier.
1906
01:20:31,212 --> 01:20:32,213
A bigass dick.
1907
01:20:34,817 --> 01:20:38,620
I don't know if you need a...
a bigass dick, um.
1908
01:20:38,653 --> 01:20:39,822
I hate bigass dicks.
1909
01:20:39,855 --> 01:20:41,389
I... I hate dicks in general.
1910
01:20:41,423 --> 01:20:45,160
I mean, my crazy sister
always says that
1911
01:20:45,193 --> 01:20:47,228
her gender's always
had it rougher
1912
01:20:47,262 --> 01:20:48,774
because historically
they've been treated
1913
01:20:48,798 --> 01:20:49,799
more poorly, so...
1914
01:20:49,832 --> 01:20:50,365
Hmm.
1915
01:20:50,398 --> 01:20:51,466
I'm-I'm on your side.
1916
01:20:51,499 --> 01:20:52,200
I'm on your team.
1917
01:20:52,233 --> 01:20:53,233
Who needs dicks?
1918
01:20:54,369 --> 01:20:55,303
It's good to know.
1919
01:20:55,337 --> 01:20:56,538
Size doesn't really matter.
1920
01:20:59,708 --> 01:21:00,876
Mm.
1921
01:21:03,813 --> 01:21:05,714
Are you hungry,
1922
01:21:05,747 --> 01:21:08,149
because I know a great place
we could go.
1923
01:21:11,353 --> 01:21:12,922
- There you guys go.
- Yeah, thank you.
1924
01:21:12,955 --> 01:21:15,357
And don't forget that catfish
jelly is really great on it.
1925
01:21:15,390 --> 01:21:16,390
But not too much.
1926
01:21:17,425 --> 01:21:18,159
Neil?
1927
01:21:18,193 --> 01:21:19,160
Hi!
1928
01:21:19,194 --> 01:21:19,895
Hey, Dad.
1929
01:21:19,929 --> 01:21:21,730
Um, this... this is Summer.
1930
01:21:21,764 --> 01:21:22,497
Hi.
1931
01:21:22,530 --> 01:21:24,599
Summer, hey.
1932
01:21:24,633 --> 01:21:26,368
Uh, your girlfriend?
1933
01:21:26,401 --> 01:21:27,903
Nope, nope, just hanging out.
1934
01:21:27,937 --> 01:21:30,906
We've just, uh, we...
we just came for food.
1935
01:21:30,940 --> 01:21:32,674
Oh... okay.
1936
01:21:32,707 --> 01:21:35,543
So a couple of Tobbler Specials
for you maybe, huh?
1937
01:21:35,577 --> 01:21:36,711
Perfect.
1938
01:21:36,745 --> 01:21:37,947
- Sound good?
- Great.
1939
01:21:37,980 --> 01:21:38,948
Okay.
1940
01:21:38,981 --> 01:21:40,382
Oh, and by the way,
1941
01:21:40,415 --> 01:21:42,283
I fixed the lock
on the bathroom door for you,
1942
01:21:42,317 --> 01:21:44,319
so you can stop bitchin'
about that.
1943
01:21:45,553 --> 01:21:46,822
Cool.
1944
01:21:46,856 --> 01:21:47,957
You're gonna get the...
1945
01:21:47,990 --> 01:21:49,550
you we're gonna make the
waffles, right?
1946
01:21:50,826 --> 01:21:52,193
Let me get that, yeah.
1947
01:21:52,227 --> 01:21:52,828
- Whenever you get-
- SUMMER: Thank you.
1948
01:21:52,862 --> 01:21:54,229
Yeah, something special.
1949
01:21:54,262 --> 01:21:55,730
- You're gonna love it.
- Thank you!
1950
01:21:55,765 --> 01:21:57,298
Alright.
1951
01:21:57,332 --> 01:21:59,401
Is the bathroom lock like
a frequent issue for you?
1952
01:21:59,434 --> 01:22:00,912
Oh, no, it's a big problem
in my family, yeah.
1953
01:22:00,936 --> 01:22:04,239
My dad is the most embarrassing
person, uh, in the world.
1954
01:22:04,272 --> 01:22:06,608
- He was sweet. He loves you.
- His goal. His goal.
1955
01:22:06,641 --> 01:22:07,542
Oh, my God, are you kidding?
1956
01:22:07,575 --> 01:22:08,686
I wish my parents would
embarrass me.
1957
01:22:08,710 --> 01:22:11,513
All they want from me is for
me to go into medicine,
1958
01:22:11,546 --> 01:22:13,983
which is like fifteen years
of torture.
1959
01:22:14,016 --> 01:22:17,352
So I'm gonna take a year off
and travel around the world
1960
01:22:17,385 --> 01:22:19,421
and then do the cliché
backpacking across Europe
1961
01:22:19,454 --> 01:22:21,389
to find myself.
1962
01:22:21,423 --> 01:22:22,457
The world?
1963
01:22:22,490 --> 01:22:25,861
That, uh, that's...
that's ambitious.
1964
01:22:25,895 --> 01:22:27,362
Thank God for FaceTime.
1965
01:22:28,496 --> 01:22:29,597
Why?
1966
01:22:29,631 --> 01:22:33,401
You know, so we can, uh,
keep in touch
1967
01:22:33,435 --> 01:22:35,871
and look at each other's faces.
1968
01:22:40,475 --> 01:22:41,475
Well, what about you?
1969
01:22:42,978 --> 01:22:44,312
- With my life?
- Yeah.
1970
01:22:45,948 --> 01:22:49,651
I... I don't know.
1971
01:22:50,351 --> 01:22:51,954
That's so hot.
1972
01:22:51,987 --> 01:22:54,456
Nothing gets me going more than
a guy with no direction.
1973
01:22:57,760 --> 01:22:59,637
Uh, well I got a...
I got a scholarship to Cal Arts,
1974
01:22:59,661 --> 01:23:03,431
and I, I love to draw,
but I just don't... I don't think
1975
01:23:03,465 --> 01:23:06,969
I can make money
with my style of drawing.
1976
01:23:07,002 --> 01:23:08,403
Hmm.
1977
01:23:08,436 --> 01:23:10,005
The scholarship is amazing.
1978
01:23:10,039 --> 01:23:13,675
Plus I see you drawing on your
iPad all the time at school.
1979
01:23:13,708 --> 01:23:15,978
You... you notice me drawing?
1980
01:23:16,011 --> 01:23:18,279
We've been going to school
together for years.
1981
01:23:18,313 --> 01:23:19,380
I'm not blind.
1982
01:23:23,052 --> 01:23:24,452
Can I see your drawings?
1983
01:23:25,353 --> 01:23:26,354
No.
1984
01:23:26,989 --> 01:23:30,760
No, I just-I just, I don't
show them to anyone,
1985
01:23:30,793 --> 01:23:33,829
'cause they're sort of X-rated
and they...
1986
01:23:33,863 --> 01:23:35,430
they might make me come off
as a psycho.
1987
01:23:35,463 --> 01:23:36,674
Stop being such a fucking pussy.
1988
01:23:36,698 --> 01:23:38,633
Just show it to me.
1989
01:23:38,666 --> 01:23:39,634
You'd freak out.
1990
01:23:39,667 --> 01:23:40,770
I would not freak out.
1991
01:23:40,803 --> 01:23:41,771
You would freak out.
1992
01:23:41,804 --> 01:23:44,840
What about me says that
I'm gonna freak out?
1993
01:23:44,874 --> 01:23:46,776
You promise you won't freak out?
1994
01:23:46,809 --> 01:23:48,443
Swear on my life!
1995
01:23:58,386 --> 01:23:59,789
Promise, you promise?
1996
01:23:59,822 --> 01:24:01,942
Oh, yes, I promise. I promise,
I promise, I promise...
1997
01:24:17,639 --> 01:24:19,307
Can I ask you a personal
question, Jimmy?
1998
01:24:19,809 --> 01:24:20,809
Hmm?
1999
01:24:22,377 --> 01:24:23,846
What does pussy feel like?
2000
01:24:25,815 --> 01:24:27,983
Like putting your dick in some
mashed potatoes.
2001
01:24:29,151 --> 01:24:30,151
Hmm.
2002
01:24:31,386 --> 01:24:32,554
Yeah.
2003
01:24:33,856 --> 01:24:35,356
Can I tell you something?
2004
01:24:35,390 --> 01:24:36,457
Mm-hmm.
2005
01:24:38,828 --> 01:24:40,930
It's been the best birthday
I ever had, man.
2006
01:24:43,598 --> 01:24:44,699
I'm sorry.
2007
01:24:45,968 --> 01:24:47,102
It's okay.
2008
01:24:59,747 --> 01:25:01,016
I've just, uh,
2009
01:25:01,050 --> 01:25:04,619
had a crush on
you for a... a really...
2010
01:25:04,652 --> 01:25:07,022
Neil, just shut up and kiss me
and finger me simultaneously.
2011
01:25:11,593 --> 01:25:14,562
You're...
fucking with me right now.
2012
01:25:14,596 --> 01:25:16,098
Yes, I'm fucking with you.
2013
01:25:16,131 --> 01:25:17,776
- See I knew that.
- You sick porn twisted boy!
2014
01:25:17,800 --> 01:25:18,499
I know, I know.
2015
01:25:18,533 --> 01:25:19,201
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2016
01:25:19,235 --> 01:25:20,535
Who the fuck talks like that?
2017
01:25:20,568 --> 01:25:22,137
I know, I... didn't,
I don't even...
2018
01:25:22,171 --> 01:25:25,841
I have never used the word pussy
that many times in my life.
2019
01:25:25,875 --> 01:25:29,644
Jesus, you really know
how to make a girl swoon.
2020
01:25:29,677 --> 01:25:32,547
You know I was gonna invite you
to my birthday party.
2021
01:25:32,580 --> 01:25:33,581
Really?
2022
01:25:33,615 --> 01:25:35,084
Yeah.
2023
01:25:35,117 --> 01:25:39,088
But then you puked on me
in front of everyone, so.
2024
01:25:39,121 --> 01:25:39,889
Yeah.
2025
01:25:39,922 --> 01:25:41,422
Uh...
2026
01:25:42,892 --> 01:25:43,993
Sorry about that.
2027
01:25:47,897 --> 01:25:48,998
I actually don't...
2028
01:25:49,031 --> 01:25:50,175
I actually don't watch
that much porn.
2029
01:25:50,199 --> 01:25:50,866
- I just...
- You don't?
2030
01:25:50,900 --> 01:25:52,667
- No.
- Well, 'cause I do.
2031
01:25:54,136 --> 01:25:55,971
- You do?
- Yeah.
2032
01:25:57,505 --> 01:25:59,942
I can give you passwords.
2033
01:25:59,975 --> 01:26:02,135
You are so much more fucked up
than I thought you'd be.
2034
01:26:05,948 --> 01:26:07,983
Which actually makes
you kind of...
2035
01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:13,756
Kind of... kind of what?
2036
01:26:15,791 --> 01:26:17,092
Cool.
2037
01:26:28,670 --> 01:26:29,905
Cool.
2038
01:27:47,049 --> 01:27:50,119
I don't understand why I'm the
one with handcuffs right now?
2039
01:27:50,152 --> 01:27:52,121
I don't see any bullet holes
in you, Apu.
139686
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