All language subtitles for Single Drunk Female - 01x06 - Look Me Up Sometime.CAKES-KOGi.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,468 --> 00:00:02,803 All right, so most ballpark hot dogs 2 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:05,272 are either steamed or grilled, 3 00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:08,976 but Boston Bangers are boiled first, 4 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:10,978 and then they are grilled. 5 00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:13,547 That way, you preserve the juiciness. 6 00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,382 Looks delicious. 7 00:00:15,382 --> 00:00:17,251 Oh, that's the beauty of a Banger, baby. 8 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:18,685 (CHUCKLES) Mmm. 9 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,988 All right, all right, small tent. 10 00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,253 Can I get one of these things, or what? 11 00:00:22,278 --> 00:00:23,924 Oh, yep, Sam. Here you go. 12 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:25,893 - Incoming. - Thank you. 13 00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:28,829 Looks pretty good for something cooked in a parking lot. 14 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:33,667 - So you're having a good time? - Uh, yeah, yeah, I think so. 15 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,036 - I'm having a good time, too. - Nice. 16 00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,304 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 17 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,640 Olivia keeps telling me to be more present. 18 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:41,842 And I, uh, think it's working. 19 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,710 She's kind of the best sponsor you can get. 20 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,547 Yeah, she's very cool. 21 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,983 Although... I did read Eminem is a sponsor, 22 00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:52,452 and he might be just a little bit cooler. 23 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:53,854 BOB: Ah, look at you two, 24 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,923 getting along. (CHUCKLES) 25 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:59,092 - Okay, you just made it weird. - Yeah, stop being so weird, Bob. 26 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:02,763 - Also, this needs mustard. - Oh, yes, condiments, flying in. 27 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:03,964 - (BOOING) - Yeah, go home, Yankee! 28 00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,165 Yeah, okay, okay, hi, yeah, yeah. 29 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,467 Hey, where are your heels, Carrie Bradshaw? 30 00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:08,635 Where's your tutu? 31 00:01:09,105 --> 00:01:11,747 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 32 00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:12,940 No. 33 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,642 Nathaniel? Hey, wait, hang on. 34 00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,444 Nathaniel! 35 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,513 Just get to your car and then you're home free. 36 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,514 - Wait, wait. - Okay. 37 00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,349 - Nathaniel. - Just keep walking. 38 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:23,650 Oh, hang on a second, man. Hey. 39 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:25,118 (WHOOPS, CHUCKLES) 40 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,688 Hi. Wow, uh, Sam Fink. 41 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,656 Yeah. What are you doing in Boston? How have you been? 42 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,191 What's going on at Bzzzzzzzzzz? 43 00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:33,260 I'm gonna plead the Fifth on your questions. 44 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,028 'Cause I don't want anything I say 45 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,197 to be used against me by you. 46 00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:38,465 - Right? - You caught me. 47 00:01:38,465 --> 00:01:40,300 Been following you for months. 48 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,502 You know, been videotaping everything you do, 49 00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,938 actually got in your trunk on the way here. 50 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:49,343 - I'm kidding. - Oh, that's not super funny. 51 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,978 - You maimed me. - Right. 52 00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:53,113 Right? I had an eye patch for a month. 53 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:56,183 - I'm-I'm very sorry about that. - Are you, though? 54 00:01:56,183 --> 00:02:00,220 I endured pirate jokes every day for a month. 55 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,389 I'm gonna give you a couple, so you know what I lived through. 56 00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:05,392 "Aye, aye, Captain," 'cause of my eye. 57 00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,127 - Pretty stupid. - Pretty obvious. 58 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,462 One that was actually kinda decent, 59 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:13,400 "Lance Arrrmstrong," right? One eye, one nut. 60 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,669 That was my life for a month, because of you. 61 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,038 Right, no, I am, I am genuinely sorry, 62 00:02:18,038 --> 00:02:20,073 and I'm sober now, seven months. 63 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:21,375 - Oh. - So... 64 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:23,910 Well, that's good to hear. I'm glad to hear it. 65 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:27,447 Yeah, you do, uh, you do seem less insane. 66 00:02:27,447 --> 00:02:28,949 I'm really happy to hear that from you, 67 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,318 a man that I respect and regret maiming. 68 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,321 - Yeah. Thank you. - Yeah. 69 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,656 Seriously, that piece that you did 70 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,457 on the, um, the creepy judges, 71 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,593 the one with the foot fetish, I thought that was really great. 72 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,662 - Oh, you saw that? - Yeah. 73 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:45,465 Yeah, it was a pretty fun piece. I thought it turned out good. 74 00:02:45,761 --> 00:02:47,634 - Yeah. - Oh, that's cool. 75 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,002 So, what are you up to? 76 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,238 Like, are you writing at all, or what's up? 77 00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:54,608 Oh, uh, yeah, you know, just like classic alcoholic stuff, 78 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:57,611 some moral inventories and, like, long amends letters, 79 00:02:57,611 --> 00:03:00,847 long apology letters and... a ton of letters. 80 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,251 Right. Well, is any of that publishable? 'Cause, I mean... 81 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,144 I think we might actually have something for you. 82 00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:07,521 Like a job? 83 00:03:07,644 --> 00:03:11,525 Yes, like a job. Listen, your voice is really funny. 84 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,193 You'll be really good for this, 85 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,162 and plus, like, everyone's so into women. 86 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:17,497 Right? Everything now is like, 87 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,299 "Oh, we got to get women," right? 88 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,935 - Mm. - Which is super important, okay? 89 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,004 And obviously that's not the only reason 90 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,572 I'm bringing this up. 91 00:03:25,572 --> 00:03:27,774 But let me just be clear about me saying that. 92 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,710 For the record, I, I don't really care. 93 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,044 I'll take what I can get. 94 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,846 Um, do you think Bzzzzzzzzzz 95 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,014 would let me back in the building? 96 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,349 No, no, but I'm not there anymore. 97 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:38,885 I'm at Smug Media, have you heard of it? 98 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,587 I was at Doosh, and then they were dicks, 99 00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:42,389 so I'm now at Smug Media. 100 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:45,292 Listen, here's my card. I want you to call my assistant. 101 00:03:45,292 --> 00:03:48,216 And let's, uh, let's get something on the books. 102 00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:49,332 Great. 103 00:03:49,357 --> 00:03:51,003 All right? I want you to send me some writing. 104 00:03:51,028 --> 00:03:52,229 Published, unpublished, doesn't matter. 105 00:03:52,254 --> 00:03:53,266 Okay. 106 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,435 Let me just see your stuff, and we'll, we'll go from there. 107 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:56,436 - All right? - All right. 108 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:57,437 All right, I'll talk to you soon, 109 00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,939 - and go Yankees! - No, Yankees suck! 110 00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:00,674 - (CROWD BOOING) - NATHANIEL: Go Yankees! 111 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,542 Yeah, take those chicken legs back where they belong, 112 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:03,977 you little bitch! 113 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,612 - NATHANIEL: What? - MAN: Yankees suck! 114 00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,114 NATHANIEL: Shut up! 115 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,786 Nathaniel Nathaniel? 116 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,888 The one who had you carried out of the building 117 00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,156 by security guards? 118 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:18,287 - BOB: Oh, no. - No, she's being dramatic. 119 00:04:18,312 --> 00:04:21,416 Yes, Nathaniel. He seemed really interested, actually. 120 00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:23,584 He said I looked great. I figure, why not? 121 00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:25,486 You know, I just have to send him some writing material, 122 00:04:25,486 --> 00:04:27,121 set up a meeting. 123 00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:28,656 I thought you hated it there. 124 00:04:28,656 --> 00:04:30,057 You said it was soul-killing. 125 00:04:30,057 --> 00:04:31,959 Why would you want to go back to Bzzzzzzzzzz? 126 00:04:31,959 --> 00:04:33,694 Oh, no, he's at Smug Media now. 127 00:04:33,694 --> 00:04:34,996 It's actually a much bigger deal. 128 00:04:35,563 --> 00:04:38,533 There are so many opportunities for you here. 129 00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,368 You could intern at The Boston Globe. 130 00:04:40,368 --> 00:04:41,836 I hate to break it to you. 131 00:04:41,836 --> 00:04:43,704 No one really cares about The Boston Globe anymore. 132 00:04:43,704 --> 00:04:46,407 How can you say that? Didn't you see Spotlight? 133 00:04:46,407 --> 00:04:48,810 Ooh, I love that flick. Seen it five times. 134 00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,312 You saw Spotlight five times? 135 00:04:51,312 --> 00:04:54,215 Mark Ruffalo, what an actor. 136 00:04:55,450 --> 00:04:56,918 Samantha... 137 00:04:56,918 --> 00:05:01,055 We paid for private school, we got you through NYU, 138 00:05:01,055 --> 00:05:03,958 you are a writer... writer. 139 00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,494 And New York? Bzzzzzzzzzz? 140 00:05:06,494 --> 00:05:09,297 Didn't the whole situation make you want to drink? 141 00:05:09,297 --> 00:05:12,400 There were a lot of things that made me want to drink, Mom. 142 00:05:19,388 --> 00:05:22,343 SAMANTHA: Donna with the doughnuts, what's up? 143 00:05:24,169 --> 00:05:26,214 Oh... my God. 144 00:05:26,214 --> 00:05:28,282 I've never seen you this happy. 145 00:05:28,282 --> 00:05:30,518 - Are you depressed? - (LAUGHS) No. 146 00:05:30,518 --> 00:05:32,386 My old boss might have a job for me in New York. 147 00:05:32,386 --> 00:05:34,489 - Mm. - Yeah, I thought that door was closed, 148 00:05:34,489 --> 00:05:35,756 but you know what they say, 149 00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:39,327 when one door closes, it, um... also opens. 150 00:05:40,061 --> 00:05:41,429 You nervous? 151 00:05:41,429 --> 00:05:43,631 No. Come on. No. 152 00:05:43,631 --> 00:05:45,967 I'm, I'm acting as if. 153 00:05:45,967 --> 00:05:48,636 Just like they tell us to. Not nervous at all. 154 00:05:48,636 --> 00:05:50,104 Just as if. 155 00:05:50,104 --> 00:05:53,508 It's wild, though. Uh, a couple investors from down there 156 00:05:53,508 --> 00:05:55,516 asked me to come and pitch that sobriety app. 157 00:05:55,541 --> 00:05:56,677 Mm-hmm. 158 00:05:56,677 --> 00:05:58,012 I haven't found the right time, though. 159 00:05:58,012 --> 00:06:00,281 How do you feel about road trips? 160 00:06:00,281 --> 00:06:02,116 They seemed fun in Thelma and Louise. 161 00:06:02,116 --> 00:06:04,418 You should come with me tomorrow, you can be Thelma. 162 00:06:04,418 --> 00:06:06,721 Maybe you should ask that girl Chloe. 163 00:06:06,721 --> 00:06:08,456 Oh, you mean hot dance party Chloe? 164 00:06:08,456 --> 00:06:11,492 - Mm-hmm. - Tiny, little, cute, spin her around, 165 00:06:11,492 --> 00:06:13,895 - take her for a ride Chloe? - All right, she's fine. She's okay. 166 00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:15,663 - She's super hot. - No, she's not. 167 00:06:15,663 --> 00:06:17,064 - Yeah, well... - I only think you think that 168 00:06:17,064 --> 00:06:18,699 because she looks like you. 169 00:06:18,699 --> 00:06:20,535 - What? - You guys look exactly the same. 170 00:06:20,535 --> 00:06:21,836 - We don't. - Yeah, you do. 171 00:06:21,836 --> 00:06:23,204 It's a little weird. 172 00:06:23,204 --> 00:06:25,406 - She ghosted me, or else I would. - Yeah. 173 00:06:28,309 --> 00:06:30,057 Are you gonna come or not? We can eat bagels. 174 00:06:30,082 --> 00:06:31,979 No, I just don't think that... 175 00:06:31,979 --> 00:06:34,682 I don't think a trip together is a good idea. 176 00:06:34,682 --> 00:06:37,018 You know? 'Cause, like, is it a friend thing? 177 00:06:37,018 --> 00:06:38,619 Is it a romantic thing? I don't know. 178 00:06:38,619 --> 00:06:39,654 It's a bagel thing. 179 00:06:39,654 --> 00:06:42,957 Okay. Uh, well, eat one for me. 180 00:06:42,957 --> 00:06:44,525 No. 181 00:06:44,525 --> 00:06:46,027 I'll eat two for me. 182 00:06:46,027 --> 00:06:48,029 Okay. Okay. 183 00:06:48,029 --> 00:06:49,730 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 184 00:06:49,730 --> 00:06:51,098 OLIVIA: See you in there. 185 00:06:51,098 --> 00:06:52,700 See you inside. 186 00:06:54,702 --> 00:06:55,770 OLIVIA: Hi. 187 00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:57,271 - Hey. - Welcome. 188 00:06:57,271 --> 00:06:58,439 How are you? 189 00:06:58,973 --> 00:07:01,175 I'm fine. I'm... fine. 190 00:07:02,009 --> 00:07:04,712 Fine as in F-I-N-E? 191 00:07:04,712 --> 00:07:06,581 Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional? 192 00:07:06,581 --> 00:07:07,582 (CAROL CHUCKLES) 193 00:07:07,582 --> 00:07:09,617 Acronym. 194 00:07:09,617 --> 00:07:11,552 You people love acronyms. 195 00:07:12,053 --> 00:07:14,155 Um, I'm Olivia. Yeah, come on in. 196 00:07:14,155 --> 00:07:17,058 Yeah, I know. You're, uh, my daughter's sponsor. 197 00:07:17,058 --> 00:07:18,359 (CHUCKLES) 198 00:07:18,359 --> 00:07:19,994 You have a, a Peabody Award. 199 00:07:21,028 --> 00:07:23,030 And I'm a subscriber to your podcast. 200 00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:24,498 I purchased your last book. 201 00:07:24,498 --> 00:07:26,200 I just... I didn't read it yet because... 202 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,603 drama in the book club. 203 00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:30,271 I'm Carol. 204 00:07:31,038 --> 00:07:33,274 - You're Sam's mom. - Yes. 205 00:07:33,274 --> 00:07:35,376 You don't have to pretend like you never heard of me. 206 00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:38,412 Oh, my God. I've definitely heard of you. 207 00:07:38,412 --> 00:07:39,714 All good things. 208 00:07:41,148 --> 00:07:42,583 - What's up, Barry? - Olivia. 209 00:07:44,218 --> 00:07:48,389 So, if you're open to it, I would like to pick your brain. 210 00:07:48,389 --> 00:07:50,358 Well, you are welcome to join us, the meeting's open. 211 00:07:50,358 --> 00:07:51,859 And Sam's actually in there. 212 00:07:51,859 --> 00:07:55,262 Yeah, no, I... Sam does not need to know I'm here. 213 00:07:55,262 --> 00:07:56,597 I want to talk to you alone. 214 00:07:56,597 --> 00:08:00,368 - Oh. - It's a time-sensitive issue. 215 00:08:00,368 --> 00:08:03,037 - So could we get coffee? - Uh, yeah. 216 00:08:03,037 --> 00:08:05,339 After the meeting. 217 00:08:05,339 --> 00:08:08,576 Just shoot me a text, and I'll, I'll tell you when and where. 218 00:08:08,576 --> 00:08:11,579 Oh... I will text you right now. 219 00:08:11,579 --> 00:08:12,813 Okay. Great. 220 00:08:12,813 --> 00:08:15,151 I will text you now, Olivia Elliot. 221 00:08:24,258 --> 00:08:26,260 You're not what I expected. 222 00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:28,696 What did you expect? 223 00:08:28,696 --> 00:08:31,732 Someone older, who uses less creamer. 224 00:08:33,968 --> 00:08:36,303 So, what's going on? Parents only come to me 225 00:08:36,303 --> 00:08:38,072 when their kids are pregnant or drinking or both. 226 00:08:38,072 --> 00:08:40,541 Oh, no, no, no. It's nothing like that. 227 00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:44,779 I... hope it's nothing like that. She, um... 228 00:08:44,779 --> 00:08:48,182 she doesn't have a lot of luck in that area. 229 00:08:48,182 --> 00:08:49,950 The getting lucky area. 230 00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:52,787 You said... You said it was time sensitive? 231 00:08:52,787 --> 00:08:53,821 Yes. 232 00:08:53,821 --> 00:08:56,924 Samantha is up for a job in New York. 233 00:08:56,924 --> 00:08:58,092 - I see. - Mm-hmm. 234 00:08:58,092 --> 00:08:59,994 And? 235 00:08:59,994 --> 00:09:01,762 And what if she gets it? 236 00:09:01,762 --> 00:09:04,932 What if she goes and interviews and gets it and she's gone? 237 00:09:04,932 --> 00:09:07,068 - Mm. - Can you talk to her? 238 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:08,936 Tell her not to go. 239 00:09:08,936 --> 00:09:11,138 Tell her she needs to stay with me longer. 240 00:09:11,138 --> 00:09:12,973 And pay her rent on time. 241 00:09:14,475 --> 00:09:17,244 Okay, if she wants to bring it up with me, sure. 242 00:09:17,244 --> 00:09:18,345 But seeing as I haven't heard from her, 243 00:09:18,345 --> 00:09:19,447 I doubt she wants my advice. 244 00:09:19,447 --> 00:09:20,448 But... 245 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:23,984 ... what if this blows up in her face? 246 00:09:23,984 --> 00:09:26,787 What if she fails? What if it breaks her heart 247 00:09:26,787 --> 00:09:29,256 and we're back where we were when she came here? 248 00:09:29,256 --> 00:09:30,424 Where? 249 00:09:30,424 --> 00:09:32,493 Look, sometimes sponsees fail. 250 00:09:32,493 --> 00:09:34,161 I have this phrase I like to use with them 251 00:09:34,161 --> 00:09:35,596 when they call me crying: 252 00:09:35,596 --> 00:09:38,532 "Oh, so you decided to call me now?" 253 00:09:38,532 --> 00:09:40,534 So... yeah. 254 00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,436 As her mother, 255 00:09:42,436 --> 00:09:44,338 I am asking you, 256 00:09:44,338 --> 00:09:48,008 tell her not to go. Samantha does not belong in New York. 257 00:09:48,948 --> 00:09:52,790 My job as her sponsor is to help her stay sober. 258 00:09:52,885 --> 00:09:56,321 Your job as a mother is to have this conversation. 259 00:09:57,152 --> 00:09:59,254 Yes! I'm having this conversation 260 00:09:59,254 --> 00:10:00,956 so you'll talk to my daughter. 261 00:10:00,956 --> 00:10:03,058 You should talk to your daughter. 262 00:10:03,959 --> 00:10:05,594 Okay. You're no help. 263 00:10:06,028 --> 00:10:09,008 You are just like Samantha. 264 00:10:10,399 --> 00:10:13,035 Sammy, I respect your right to look like a hot mess, 265 00:10:13,035 --> 00:10:15,404 - but these dead ends hurt me. - No, I know, just go for it. Please. 266 00:10:15,404 --> 00:10:16,739 (GASPS) Really? 267 00:10:16,739 --> 00:10:19,441 Aw, you never let me have my way with your locks. 268 00:10:19,441 --> 00:10:20,743 No, I know, but I need the bad bitch haircut 269 00:10:20,743 --> 00:10:22,177 to go with the crazy nails. 270 00:10:22,177 --> 00:10:25,481 Yes, bad bitch, bad bitch. Which bad bitch? Joan Jett. 271 00:10:25,481 --> 00:10:26,648 - No, trim. - No? 272 00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:28,317 - Trim. - A trim? 273 00:10:28,317 --> 00:10:29,852 - Yeah. - Oh, my God! 274 00:10:29,852 --> 00:10:31,353 If you really think a trim's gonna land you this job, 275 00:10:31,353 --> 00:10:32,621 you're wrong. 276 00:10:32,621 --> 00:10:34,590 Okay, well, the trim's gonna help, first of all. 277 00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,191 - Okay. - Also, I just, I just need to send 278 00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:38,026 something good to Nathaniel, and I got it. 279 00:10:38,026 --> 00:10:41,296 You know? Which I will get on very, very soon. 280 00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:43,132 Just, you know, send him something you've already written 281 00:10:43,132 --> 00:10:44,533 and change the title. 282 00:10:44,533 --> 00:10:46,435 Yeah, he's read everything I've already written. 283 00:10:46,435 --> 00:10:47,770 Well, you haven't written anything new? 284 00:10:47,770 --> 00:10:48,771 Not really. 285 00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:49,805 I mean, I've been, like, pretty busy 286 00:10:49,805 --> 00:10:51,840 with the grocery store and... 287 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:54,743 Also, I really loved drinking and writing, you know? 288 00:10:54,743 --> 00:10:57,679 Take two shots of tequila, take out the laptop. 289 00:10:57,679 --> 00:10:59,815 Down two more shots, you open it, 290 00:11:00,549 --> 00:11:02,951 and then just more shots 'cause it's fun. 291 00:11:02,951 --> 00:11:06,088 Man, can you imagine if I was like shot, snip, shot, snip? 292 00:11:06,088 --> 00:11:08,090 - Sounds fun. - Well, what do you do? 293 00:11:08,090 --> 00:11:10,692 All right, well, you know, I've got my process. 294 00:11:10,692 --> 00:11:13,695 Every morning, I have a green tea, which you sobers love, 295 00:11:13,695 --> 00:11:16,665 sing a verse of "Man! I Feel Like a Woman," 296 00:11:16,665 --> 00:11:19,568 three Hail Marys in the mirror. Boom. Ready to slay. 297 00:11:20,169 --> 00:11:22,771 Huh. Yeah, I guess I'll have to figure my own thing out. 298 00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:25,535 I'm trying to give you something here. 299 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,042 No, I know. It's sweet. 300 00:11:27,042 --> 00:11:28,710 But I'm, I'm not worried, you're more worried about it than I am. 301 00:11:28,710 --> 00:11:29,945 I'm, like, totally fine. 302 00:11:29,945 --> 00:11:32,448 - I mean, I'm not worried. - Okay, great. 303 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,616 You know, that being said, I think I will have to bail 304 00:11:34,616 --> 00:11:36,718 on, uh, Baby Boss movie night with you and Zack 305 00:11:36,718 --> 00:11:39,121 'cause I think I should just get started, you know. 306 00:11:39,121 --> 00:11:41,924 It's Boss Baby. The baby's the boss. 307 00:11:41,924 --> 00:11:43,725 He doesn't have a boss. 308 00:11:43,725 --> 00:11:46,328 ♪ ♪ 309 00:11:52,301 --> 00:11:53,769 (SPITS) 310 00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:57,005 (CLEARS THROAT) 311 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:12,654 I told her not to say anything, dude, 312 00:12:12,654 --> 00:12:14,156 so that makes it not my fault. 313 00:12:14,156 --> 00:12:16,525 I don't know what to tell you. Dude, just fire her, then. 314 00:12:16,525 --> 00:12:17,526 I don't give a shit, man. 315 00:12:17,526 --> 00:12:18,527 Hold on a second. 316 00:12:20,295 --> 00:12:22,297 All right, that comes to $16.53. 317 00:12:23,632 --> 00:12:26,301 - Cash. Old school. Sweet. - Yeah. 318 00:12:26,301 --> 00:12:28,237 I'm supposed to check this for something, aren't I? 319 00:12:28,237 --> 00:12:30,072 I feel like people always go... 320 00:12:30,072 --> 00:12:32,508 Yeah, it's-it's good. 321 00:12:32,508 --> 00:12:34,468 - Okay. - Kind of in a rush here. 322 00:12:35,110 --> 00:12:38,046 - (COMPUTER BEEPING) - Whoa, it's... No? 323 00:12:38,046 --> 00:12:40,582 That's, that's new. 324 00:12:40,582 --> 00:12:42,718 - Hang on. - Are you, you kidding me, man? 325 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:46,088 H-H-Hold on, dude. 326 00:12:46,088 --> 00:12:47,756 Manager to bakery. Manager to bakery. 327 00:12:50,259 --> 00:12:51,271 She'll be here in a sec. 328 00:12:51,295 --> 00:12:53,629 Hold on, dude, I'm dealing with this stupid townie. 329 00:12:53,629 --> 00:12:56,231 - Excuse me? - Uh, keep the change. 330 00:12:56,231 --> 00:12:58,400 - I just need my receipt, please. - Okay. Uh-huh. 331 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,270 Yeah, you're also shopping in this town. You get that, right? 332 00:13:01,270 --> 00:13:03,305 You're just as much of a townie as I am. 333 00:13:03,305 --> 00:13:05,040 The difference is, I actually got out. 334 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:07,376 I mean, I'm back temporarily, but I will get out again. 335 00:13:07,376 --> 00:13:08,544 'Cause I'm a writer. 336 00:13:08,544 --> 00:13:10,245 Not, like, a super famous one, 337 00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:12,147 but I was recognized in an H&M once. 338 00:13:12,147 --> 00:13:13,782 I think they thought I was Selena Gomez, 339 00:13:13,782 --> 00:13:15,217 but I was still recognized, all right? 340 00:13:15,217 --> 00:13:18,320 So, like, you know what, dude-man, how about this? 341 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,089 - Eat me. And keep your change. - Whoa. No. 342 00:13:21,089 --> 00:13:22,858 - I don't need your blood money, bro! - You keep it. 343 00:13:22,858 --> 00:13:25,160 - It's... - Wow, uh, I'm so sorry. 344 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:26,528 Sam, can I talk to you? 345 00:13:28,196 --> 00:13:30,666 - Dude, I just need a receipt. - (MOCKINGLY): Dude. 346 00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:34,636 Wait, you're this worked up over a job interview? 347 00:13:34,636 --> 00:13:37,139 Well, I mean, yeah. Like, what if I get it? 348 00:13:37,139 --> 00:13:41,009 What if I don't? What if I get the seat on the bus 349 00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:43,045 next to the toilet? It's a lot of risks. 350 00:13:43,045 --> 00:13:46,615 Girl, a bus ride and a job interview are not risks. 351 00:13:46,615 --> 00:13:48,250 The only risk is if you didn't clear it 352 00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,351 with your probation officer. 353 00:13:50,852 --> 00:13:51,853 Mm-hmm. 354 00:13:51,853 --> 00:13:53,055 'Cause then you go to jail. 355 00:13:53,055 --> 00:13:54,756 Right. 356 00:13:54,756 --> 00:13:57,456 Oh, of course you didn't. 357 00:13:58,245 --> 00:13:59,379 Well, thank you so much for squeezing me in. 358 00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:01,282 I didn't realize that I needed permission 359 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,152 just to take, like, a quick bus trip to New York. 360 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,045 So, what, what should we do? 361 00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:09,282 Do I have to, like, write a letter to the governor, or...? 362 00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,551 To tell him you have a job interview? 363 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:14,621 You don't have a job. Like, nothing's official. 364 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:17,523 Okay, it's like, it's like this dude Jordan. 365 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,593 He texts me every single morning, like, 366 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,939 "Oh, my God, you are so beautiful! 367 00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:24,732 "When are you gonna meet my mom? 368 00:14:24,732 --> 00:14:26,861 Can I help you with your cell phone bill?" 369 00:14:26,886 --> 00:14:29,522 Does that make him my boyfriend? 370 00:14:29,522 --> 00:14:32,559 No. Absolutely not. 371 00:14:32,559 --> 00:14:35,695 Have I had a pregnancy scare? Multiple. 372 00:14:35,695 --> 00:14:38,658 Did I tell Jordan? No! Again, not my boyfriend. 373 00:14:38,683 --> 00:14:40,384 You got to know your situation 374 00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:43,354 and then adjust your expectations accordingly. 375 00:14:43,354 --> 00:14:45,189 What do I do if I get the job? 376 00:14:45,189 --> 00:14:46,791 You're gonna need more than a letter. 377 00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:48,392 Ooh. 378 00:14:50,252 --> 00:14:52,630 I-I have to fill all of that out? 379 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,099 I have to fill this out. 380 00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:56,767 I'm just playing. It's all online. 381 00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:58,569 But I want you to know... 382 00:14:58,569 --> 00:15:01,605 this is the kind of hell you're gonna put me through. 383 00:15:01,605 --> 00:15:04,575 You just keep that on standby just in case, huh? 384 00:15:04,575 --> 00:15:06,644 Um... 385 00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:09,413 Okay, but... 386 00:15:09,413 --> 00:15:12,483 you are good to go for up to 72 hours. 387 00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,985 Oh, that was it? Wow, okay, great, thank you so much. 388 00:15:14,985 --> 00:15:15,986 (LAUGHS): Okay. 389 00:15:15,986 --> 00:15:17,088 All right, bye, Gail. 390 00:15:17,088 --> 00:15:18,956 Tell Jordan I said hi. 391 00:15:18,956 --> 00:15:20,291 I won't. 392 00:15:23,027 --> 00:15:24,361 (DOORBELL RINGING) 393 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,721 - BRIT: Hi. - Oh, hi. 394 00:15:31,746 --> 00:15:34,271 - Hey. - Uh... come on in. 395 00:15:34,271 --> 00:15:36,006 Thanks. 396 00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:38,943 - What's up? Is everything okay? - Yeah. 397 00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:41,145 Oh, is it the-the last $2,000? 398 00:15:41,145 --> 00:15:42,847 'Cause I'm gonna get it as soon as I can. 399 00:15:42,847 --> 00:15:44,615 No, no, that's not it. Um... 400 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:48,031 I just wanted to give you this. 401 00:15:48,056 --> 00:15:49,758 - What'd I win? - (CHUCKLES) 402 00:15:51,322 --> 00:15:53,891 Joel and I talked about it, and, uh, 403 00:15:53,891 --> 00:15:55,860 maybe it would be nice if you were at our wedding. 404 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,643 'Cause, you know, things feel different. 405 00:15:59,490 --> 00:16:00,891 Oh. 406 00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:02,401 - Right. - Right. 407 00:16:03,135 --> 00:16:06,845 I'm sorry, I'm just realizing that was kind of an ambush. 408 00:16:06,870 --> 00:16:08,872 Um, you don't have to let us know now. 409 00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:11,741 Yeah, I'll... figure it out. 410 00:16:12,776 --> 00:16:13,777 - Cool. - Yeah. 411 00:16:13,777 --> 00:16:15,011 - Cool. Okay. - Great. 412 00:16:15,011 --> 00:16:17,547 - I'm gonna... - Oh. Okay. (CHUCKLES) 413 00:16:20,216 --> 00:16:22,052 - Cool. - All right. 414 00:16:22,052 --> 00:16:25,055 (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) 415 00:16:25,055 --> 00:16:28,391 BOB: And a little more for me. Oh. 416 00:16:28,391 --> 00:16:30,393 Okay. I'm gonna talk to her. 417 00:16:30,393 --> 00:16:31,861 She can't go. That's it. 418 00:16:33,096 --> 00:16:34,798 On second thought... 419 00:16:34,798 --> 00:16:37,200 I'm gonna go roast a chicken. 420 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,935 Carol, just talk to her. 421 00:16:38,935 --> 00:16:40,937 No! 422 00:16:40,937 --> 00:16:43,173 Trust me, the chicken will work better. 423 00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:44,941 The way I do it, 424 00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:47,344 first you, you pat it dry. 425 00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:48,945 That's the most important part. 426 00:16:48,945 --> 00:16:51,114 Then you sprinkle it really liberally with salt 427 00:16:51,114 --> 00:16:52,115 and you take a stick of butter 428 00:16:52,115 --> 00:16:53,416 and you shove it up under the skin, 429 00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:55,952 and that chicken will say everything better 430 00:16:55,952 --> 00:16:57,354 than I ever could. 431 00:16:57,354 --> 00:16:58,688 Well, that does sound delicious, 432 00:16:58,688 --> 00:17:00,657 but you should just talk to her. 433 00:17:00,657 --> 00:17:02,258 Hmm? 434 00:17:02,258 --> 00:17:03,259 (SIGHS) 435 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,433 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 436 00:17:12,602 --> 00:17:14,537 How was your day? 437 00:17:14,537 --> 00:17:17,674 Oh, uh, yeah, it's fine. Um... 438 00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:20,543 Brit invited me to her wedding. 439 00:17:20,543 --> 00:17:23,780 Oh. Maybe we could sit at the same table. 440 00:17:25,649 --> 00:17:28,351 I know it's not fun. I know it's weird. 441 00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,286 I could hold your hand. 442 00:17:31,688 --> 00:17:33,490 You know, uh... 443 00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:36,192 I don't really want to go, actually, and I... 444 00:17:36,192 --> 00:17:38,261 don't really want to hold your hand either, 445 00:17:38,261 --> 00:17:39,829 but thanks for offering. 446 00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:43,341 What are you writing? 447 00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:46,202 Oh, uh, yeah. Just a piece about... 448 00:17:46,202 --> 00:17:48,405 you know, Gen Z and... 449 00:17:48,405 --> 00:17:50,674 morality and... 450 00:17:50,674 --> 00:17:52,876 - Birkenstocks. - Oh. 451 00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:56,513 Can I see? Bob wears them. They help his back. 452 00:17:56,513 --> 00:17:58,948 No, it's not, it's not really ready yet. 453 00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:02,852 Samantha, just me... Let me take a look. 454 00:18:02,852 --> 00:18:04,354 - Mom. - No, I won't judge. 455 00:18:04,354 --> 00:18:07,023 I don't want you to see it. So, sorry, I... 456 00:18:08,858 --> 00:18:10,894 I haven't written anything. 457 00:18:10,894 --> 00:18:12,462 Why not? 458 00:18:12,487 --> 00:18:16,032 I-I can't write unless I'm drunk, I guess. 459 00:18:16,032 --> 00:18:17,801 I don't know, I can like, you know, 460 00:18:17,801 --> 00:18:21,271 work in a grocery store and go to Brit's stupid wedding 461 00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:24,174 and go on some pretty bad coffee dates, 462 00:18:24,174 --> 00:18:27,343 but I-I cannot write without alcohol. 463 00:18:27,343 --> 00:18:28,645 (SIGHS) 464 00:18:28,645 --> 00:18:30,580 I don't know what to tell you. I can't. 465 00:18:33,239 --> 00:18:34,607 Samantha, here's the thing. 466 00:18:36,453 --> 00:18:39,989 Nobody does anything better drunk. 467 00:18:39,989 --> 00:18:41,624 Do you really think 468 00:18:41,624 --> 00:18:44,627 everything you wrote then was so wonderful? 469 00:18:44,627 --> 00:18:46,463 Where are the book sales? 470 00:18:46,463 --> 00:18:49,532 Where are the Pulitzers? Come on. 471 00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:51,801 Is Bzzzzzzzzzz the best you can do? 472 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:55,572 I-I don't know. At least it was something. 473 00:18:55,878 --> 00:18:58,742 You don't know what you're capable of now. 474 00:18:58,742 --> 00:19:01,111 So, you're gonna lock yourself in 475 00:19:01,111 --> 00:19:02,946 and write something. Tonight. 476 00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:04,280 Anything. 477 00:19:04,612 --> 00:19:07,292 Because, even if it sucks, 478 00:19:07,317 --> 00:19:11,321 it will still be good enough for Smug News. 479 00:19:11,321 --> 00:19:13,323 No, it... 480 00:19:13,323 --> 00:19:14,591 (CAROL SIGHS) 481 00:19:14,591 --> 00:19:16,493 Now I'm gonna go roast a chicken. 482 00:19:16,493 --> 00:19:19,462 And I'll bring it in to you. 483 00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:20,463 (SIGHS) 484 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,335 (DOOR CLOSES) 485 00:19:26,736 --> 00:19:28,238 (PHONE BUZZES) 486 00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:30,033 _ 487 00:19:30,058 --> 00:19:32,753 _ 488 00:19:39,983 --> 00:19:41,985 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 489 00:19:43,213 --> 00:19:45,655 (CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me, miss. 490 00:19:45,655 --> 00:19:48,158 Is this bus going to the Big Apple? 491 00:19:48,158 --> 00:19:49,182 Wild. 492 00:19:49,207 --> 00:19:52,237 Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't even know why I tried that... 493 00:19:52,262 --> 00:19:54,330 - You changed your mind. - I did. 494 00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,965 I felt like you needed a sober trudging buddy. 495 00:19:55,965 --> 00:19:57,367 - Mm. - I remember my first sober trip, 496 00:19:57,367 --> 00:19:59,335 and I could've used a me. 497 00:19:59,335 --> 00:20:01,437 To be with, to be with me, you know. 498 00:20:01,437 --> 00:20:03,973 - I get it. We'll trudge. - Yeah, let's do it. 499 00:20:03,973 --> 00:20:05,475 Can we get back in line now? 'Cause I lost my spot. 500 00:20:05,475 --> 00:20:07,010 Uh, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, let's do it. 501 00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:09,145 - We're gonna get bad seats. - We are. 502 00:20:09,145 --> 00:20:12,615 ♪ These steps toward faith, I can't imagine it ♪ 503 00:20:12,615 --> 00:20:15,151 ♪ Pack my suitcase up till I can't bear it ♪ 504 00:20:15,151 --> 00:20:18,021 ♪ Who am I without this weight on my shoulder? ♪ 505 00:20:18,021 --> 00:20:22,525 ♪ Oh, God, I'm dying to know, but how dare you want more? ♪ 506 00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:25,328 ♪ How dare you want more? ♪ 507 00:20:25,328 --> 00:20:27,864 ♪ Preacher, preacher's callin' from the floor ♪ 508 00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:33,336 ♪ How dare you want more? ♪ 509 00:20:34,370 --> 00:20:36,139 ♪ How dare you want more? ♪ 510 00:20:36,806 --> 00:20:39,142 ♪ Preacher, preacher's callin' from the floor ♪ 511 00:20:40,009 --> 00:20:42,946 ♪ How dare you want more? How dare you want more? ♪ 512 00:20:42,946 --> 00:20:45,148 ♪ How dare you want more? ♪ 513 00:20:45,148 --> 00:20:47,684 ♪ Well, tonight we're gonna drown the sound out ♪ 514 00:20:47,684 --> 00:20:49,819 ♪ Yeah, tonight we're gonna drown it out. ♪ 515 00:20:49,819 --> 00:20:52,054 - Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com - 38215

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