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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,401 - Argh! Walk the plank! 2 00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,865 There goes another one. 3 00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,082 - My sister Ellen and her boyfriend Gordie 4 00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:12,884 broke up...again! 5 00:00:12,945 --> 00:00:14,975 It's pretty much wrecking everything. 6 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:17,088 Please enjoy this deeply disturbing flashback 7 00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:18,750 to see what I mean. 8 00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,318 - Nothing like a little father and son bonding, 9 00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:21,388 don't you think? 10 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:28,156 Huh, only a little expired. 11 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,228 - Ah! 12 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,327 Aww...oof! - Gah! 13 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,474 - Ow! Dad! - Shh. 14 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,709 - Is she done? 15 00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:45,711 - Ah! 16 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,980 This can't go on. 17 00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,917 - If a year's worth of sugar and cheesy romance novels 18 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,486 gets my sister to stop crying, I'm game. 19 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,955 - "The Purposefully Accidental Bride." 20 00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,864 Ooh, "Crabby Lust", 21 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,626 "Love Doth Know No Calories?" Mmm. 22 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,225 You old enough for these, brother? 23 00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,798 - Yeah, brother. 24 00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,366 Pretty sure I am. 25 00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,743 - Hey, Zudy, one more restock 26 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:49,005 on Jane Steele's new book. 27 00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,305 - Huh. This Jane Steele lady, she's pretty popular, huh? 28 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,949 - Uh, yeah, little bro. 29 00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:57,654 Romance novels are major cash cows. 30 00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,148 - Cash cow? 31 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,361 - I totally would've written a bunch of these myself by now, 32 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,394 but I need inspiration, you know? 33 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,999 I need a muse. - A muse, huh? 34 00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:12,102 Ellen! Breakup present. 35 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,703 You're welcome. 36 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:15,938 - People that say "you're welcome" 37 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,312 without getting thanked are lame. 38 00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,135 - Oh, my God, I know. 39 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,177 - I can't believe it either. Yeah, seriously. 40 00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,642 Why can't the guys in real life be like 41 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,981 the ones in the Jane Steele books, you know? 42 00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:29,115 - Romance novels are major cash cows. 43 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:33,052 All you need is a muse, muse, muse. 44 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:38,225 - Moo, moo, moo. 45 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,762 - All these thought bubbles are giving me a bright idea. 46 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,059 Time to turn Ellen's teenage turmoil 47 00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,731 into cold hard cash. 48 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,339 - I couldn't believe it either. 49 00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,641 I mean we both know there's someone else, right? 50 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,473 I wish somebody was out there, somebody who would-- 51 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:52,768 - Okay, so we open with a princess, 52 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,610 sad and alone, and really bad at singing. 53 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,175 Like, animals die when she sings. 54 00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,521 - Then some prince dumps her, 55 00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,152 so she's acting all lame and crying and stuff. 56 00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,917 But then she meets a headless farmhand. 57 00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,845 Oh, yeah. 58 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,460 They get married and have lots of weird babies 59 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,762 and everything's great. 60 00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,464 But then, Headless Guy totally runs off 61 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,756 with her best maiden, leaving the princess alone again, 62 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,428 but now with two babies to care for. 63 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,967 And finished! 64 00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:25,673 "Belle's a Ringin: A Tale of Love, Loss, and Headless Lust." 65 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,539 Hey, hey, I know what you're thinking. 66 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,638 Borrowing Ellen's pathetic life 67 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,010 for my own personal gain. Uncool. 68 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,109 But hey, it's not like she's gonna know. 69 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,780 Okay, let's see, let's see. Fine print, fine print. 70 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,019 Rules, rules, rules, rules, rules. 71 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,645 Submission guidelines. Ooh, ooh! 72 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,459 I get to pick a pen name. 73 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,262 Wayne...uh-- 74 00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:50,657 Canine, attorney at law. 75 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,070 Profile photo? Uh-oh. 76 00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,503 Okay, let's see. 77 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,637 "Super awesome guy man dude person." 78 00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,914 Huh. I guess this guy looks pretty cool. 79 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,883 Yeah, just needs a mustache. 80 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,920 Ha! The resemblance is uncanny. 81 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,659 - I think it's fine. 82 00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:21,885 Imitation is the highest form of flattery. 83 00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,871 - But you faked your identity. What if you get caught? 84 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,202 - Hey, we're talking about getting rich, Francis. 85 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,366 Money trumps ethics. 86 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,767 - Time is up, little ones. 87 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,708 - Already? - Oh, man! 88 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:38,144 - Nate Wright and friends, I am full of regret, 89 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:42,011 but I will need to receive my pork butt back now. 90 00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,076 Delightful to the touch. 91 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,991 Is very good job of meat tenderizing. 92 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:51,315 You will all receive extra helping of cricket 93 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,761 at snack time. 94 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,596 - Ew! 95 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,303 - Oh, great. What are we gonna do now? 96 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,265 Pork punching is, like, the only safe activity out here. 97 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,504 - Ah! 98 00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:14,645 Worth it. 99 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,346 Yay! 100 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,720 - Well, hello, kiddos. 101 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,918 Fine sunny afternoon for recess, isn't it? 102 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,890 - Are you joking? This place looks like 103 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,527 it's been decimated by a tornado. 104 00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:32,898 - Oh, please. This playground is old school. 105 00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:36,266 Nah, you're getting a true recess experience. 106 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,606 - Oh, no. Not again! 107 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,872 - Someone must've taken down 108 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,941 the soft pavement warning signs. 109 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,409 Let me go lookay into that. Gotta go! 110 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,524 - Oof! 111 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,991 - Hello? Emotionally stable household here. 112 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,252 - Yes, hello there, young man. 113 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,632 Can I please speak with your father? 114 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,891 - Oh, he said he sent the money 115 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,789 and to please stop turning the water off. 116 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,460 - No, no, no, no. I'm looking for Mr. Canine. 117 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,668 Mr. Wayne Canine, attorney at law? 118 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,535 - Oh, yeah! Okay, uh, back in a jiffy. 119 00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:14,313 Wayne! I mean, uh, uh, Dad, phone! 120 00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:18,778 Hello, Wayne Canine speaking. 121 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:24,217 - Samantha Stoneheart, editor at Page Turners Inc. here. 122 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:27,563 We truly loved your graphic novel. 123 00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,190 - Oh, wow. 124 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,855 As you can tell from my deep, mature, 125 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,055 and fully gone through puberty voice, 126 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,327 I am overjoyed to hear this. 127 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,966 - Now we just need to discuss your quote. 128 00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:41,671 My, uh, my quote? 129 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:45,605 - We do have to pay you for your first book, Mr. Canine. 130 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,141 - Mm, yes, of course. 131 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:56,119 I would like 30... bags of cheesy snacks, please. 132 00:06:56,182 --> 00:07:01,022 - You're sure you only want 30 bags? 133 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:05,428 - Oh. I meant 30 hundred-- 300 bags. 134 00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,362 - Great. Consider it done. 135 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,597 We'll need the other five books as required in your contract. 136 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,473 Just send me a list of what you'd like as payment. 137 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,267 - Five other books? 138 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,442 - Okay, guys, 139 00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:20,707 new plan for recess today. 140 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,484 - Anything to get out of thorn bush tag. 141 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:27,879 - Yikes. 142 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,277 - Hey, do I have anything on my face? 143 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:34,290 I think the pain centers in my brain shut down. 144 00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:36,393 Oh! - Ugh! 145 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,286 - So what's your recess plan, Nate? 146 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,728 - Oh, you guys are gonna love it. 147 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,233 You're all gonna help me write five novels. 148 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,495 - Yes! - What? 149 00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,674 - Bro, you know I would do anything for you. 150 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,973 Not really. 151 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,903 But why are we getting roped into your problem? 152 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,268 300 bags of cheesy snacks 153 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,678 enough rope for you? - Yup, that'll work. 154 00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,912 - That's a lot of Thiamine mononitrate. 155 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,846 - Yeah and that's just the beginning. 156 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:01,381 They said they'd meet whatever our demands are 157 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,077 for the next batch. Here's the deal. 158 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,119 We spy on everyone we know, 159 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,745 borrow their life stories, use our imaginations 160 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,461 to make them sound actually interesting. 161 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,263 I draw up the art, bada-bing, bada-boom, 162 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,994 five more graphic novels. 163 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:16,660 I mean, it's so complicated, it might just work. 164 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,600 Dee Dee, stick to Nichols. - On it. 165 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:20,697 - I know Mother, but speed dating 166 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,328 just isn't what it used to be-- 167 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,242 - My love handles? 168 00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:28,405 Do not make this about my diet, Mother! 169 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,580 - Francis, you handle Godfrey. 170 00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,475 - Location? Rackleff. 171 00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,218 Hobbies? Cats. 172 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,923 Six things I can't live without? 173 00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,645 Well, I have seven cats so I'm going to skip this one. 174 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,831 It wouldn't be fair to Jermaine du-Purr. 175 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,602 - Teddy, you've got Uncle Pedro. 176 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,001 - Hey, Uncle Pedro. 177 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,962 Do you have any fun stories from middle school? 178 00:08:56,235 --> 00:09:00,205 - And Chad, you have the most dangerous job of all. 179 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,513 Chad? 180 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,775 - What is he up to now? 181 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,754 - I'm almost there. I'm almost there! 182 00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,112 - Ugh, come on, Chad! You can do it! 183 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,021 All right, no more vertical slide for you this week, okay? 184 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,886 We need you in one piece. - Okay, okay. 185 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,626 I promise. 186 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,462 - Now, I need you to get some intel 187 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,157 on the girls in our grade, 188 00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,729 okay, pal? - Okay, Nate. 189 00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,097 - And I'm on Ellen rebound patrol. 190 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,426 Now, everyone scurry in different directions. 191 00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,070 Ready? Go. 192 00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:32,768 C'mon, Chad. 193 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,370 Let's go get you a chew toy. 194 00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:41,454 Nate, what are you up to now? 195 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,023 Huh? Ah! 196 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:52,486 He's ok, but like he needs to commit to his chin straps. 197 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,658 - Gotta write this down. Gotta write this down. 198 00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:58,627 Come on. Stupid bag. 199 00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,128 Got it! But wait, am I in the-- 200 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,005 - Um, you okay in there? 201 00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,576 - Um, yes. 202 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,754 - Are you sure? - Please go away! 203 00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:16,522 - All right, fine. Don't wanna hurt you. 204 00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,093 Oh! 205 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,125 What do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do? 206 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,801 -There's no escape! 207 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,113 - I wonder if this one's any good. 208 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:43,342 - This guy, Wayne Canine, he's been making waves lately. 209 00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:47,079 - Hmm... "Belle's A Ringin'," eh? 210 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,653 - No, no! 211 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,688 - Pew, pew, pew! 212 00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,929 - It's like this book was written for me. 213 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,264 And the author is a low key snack. 214 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,530 Do you have a signed copy? 215 00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:06,126 - No, but he's a local, 216 00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:08,568 so I'm sure you can get one. 217 00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:10,804 You know, I've been known to do 218 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,910 a little writin' myself, mostly on my back. 219 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,244 - Yeah, okay, whatever, Zeff. 220 00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:18,137 Did you say that Wayne Canine is from Rackleff? 221 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,581 Amelia? Okay, I am obsessed. 222 00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,448 Okay, so my fan petition is to get him 223 00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:26,215 to do a reading in town. Will you sign? 224 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,116 Yay! I love you. Mwah! 225 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,897 - Huh? 226 00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,471 Wait... 227 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,638 this isn't my litterbox. 228 00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:50,906 Someone get me out of here! Anyone, please. 229 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,250 - All right. 230 00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,246 Five books finished, time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. 231 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,060 - Sweet! Matching outfits. 232 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,723 - Whoa! 233 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,670 - This is very suspicious, Nate Wright. 234 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,404 - Nate, did you order a-- - A tiger! 235 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,071 We'll call her Linda. 236 00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:25,281 - Ha! "The Cat Lady's Desire." 237 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,045 What the mustard sauce is this? 238 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,115 I'll take this as well, young man. 239 00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:32,422 - All right, just a few more pennies. 240 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,985 - Principal Nichols! 241 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:37,063 - This cat lady remind you of anyone? 242 00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,955 - I don't have time to deal with this. 243 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:42,727 We had another student fall off the vertical slide today. 244 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,926 - Fine, fine. What about this spectacled owl? 245 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,868 Looks a tad like you, doesn't he? 246 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,974 I'm sorry, Clara. It's probably just 247 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,997 an enormous coincidence, a'ight? 248 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,742 - Well, I for one am going to this book signing 249 00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:58,207 and demanding answers from this Wayne Canine. 250 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,718 Hm, "chubby speed dating headmaster 251 00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:06,953 with an inherited glandular problem." 252 00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:10,057 That sounds a lot like--what? 253 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:14,058 - So thanks to me, Wayne Canine 254 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,786 will be doing a book signing in Rackleff. 255 00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:18,763 And I get to meet him. 256 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,201 - I think that's great, Ellen. 257 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,767 If it's okay with you, I'd love to join. 258 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,236 - Okay, fine. 259 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,984 But just don't, like, be super weird about it. 260 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,141 - We're doomed. We're gonna get so busted. 261 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,310 - It's okay, it's okay. Dee Dee's got this. 262 00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,509 All we need is a real life Wayne Canine. 263 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,847 Whose dog is that? 264 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,318 - As in an adult to play along with our plan? 265 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,588 - No, we need someone so forgettable 266 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,387 and unrecognizable, 267 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,059 that not a soul in Rackleff will suspect a thing. 268 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,999 - Well, yeah, but how can we find someone 269 00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,133 so utterly pathetic and completely unknown? 270 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:05,882 - Nate Wright, whose tiger is in the yard? 271 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,384 - Okay, I'm really, really sorry. 272 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,920 But Dad, I did it for the family. 273 00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:15,923 All right, it was purely selfish. 274 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,819 Will you please just help us, Dad? 275 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,960 Think of Ellen, your only daughter. 276 00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,757 I mean if Wayne Canine is a no-show at the book signing, 277 00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:25,198 she's gonna be heartbroken all over again. 278 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,474 She needs you. 279 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,573 I need you, Dad. 280 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,713 - Wow, Dad. You look, uh, like-- 281 00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:39,848 - A handsome detective-- 282 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,883 right? 283 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,878 - Uh, yeah, okay, sure. 284 00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,281 that's totally what I was gonna say. 285 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,221 Now remember, you're gonna have me in your ear 286 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,717 for the question and answer part 287 00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,858 so I can feed you "author jargon." 288 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:51,963 I'll be right outside the book store 289 00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,534 in a creepy old station wagon. 290 00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:55,132 - You mean my station wagon? 291 00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,995 - Yeah, yeah, that's the station wagon. 292 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,273 - Here's the plan. I'll be manning base command. 293 00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,631 Teddy, you run in-store surveillance. 294 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,241 Francis, you're with Nate. 295 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,572 And Chad, you-- 296 00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:07,306 Chad? 297 00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,344 Has anybody seen Chad? 298 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,878 - Who's Chad? 299 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,851 Do you have anything 300 00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,519 to say for yourself, Henry? 301 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,958 Those mulch piles were public property. 302 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,534 I had every right. 303 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,600 I will have order. 304 00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,362 Order in this court, I say. 305 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,501 Order! 306 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,600 Ah, delivery is here, sweetie. 307 00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:40,409 Oh! 308 00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,116 - Dad, are we carpooling? 309 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,682 - Be down in a jiff, sweetheart. 310 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,820 Oh, oh, um, we gotta bring 311 00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:55,355 Nate and his friends, okay? 312 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,292 We're, uh, fumigating. 313 00:15:57,356 --> 00:16:00,126 - Ugh, Dad! 314 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:01,962 - Cheese and rice, Martin. 315 00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,698 This was your chance to bond with your daughter. 316 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,763 Don't blow this! 317 00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,331 Ah! 318 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,441 - Hey, why don't you all head in. I have to-- 319 00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,475 - Okay, I'll save you a spot maybe. 320 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,912 - Okay, you've got like t-minus five seconds 321 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,076 to become Wayne again, Dad. 322 00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,024 - Hey, look, he's here. 323 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,623 It's Wayne Canine! 324 00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:27,794 - Oh, hey, uh, hi. 325 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,494 Nice to meet you. Thanks for coming out. 326 00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,057 - Excuse me, Mr. Canine, 327 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,855 make it out to your, uh, biggest fan. 328 00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:40,166 - Thank you, thank you! 329 00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,342 Oh, I will treasure this forever. 330 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,042 - Nate, I'll be your Wayne Canine 331 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,205 whenever you need me to. 332 00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,744 And so they rode on, 333 00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:51,438 through the ozone layer, on fire, 334 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:54,410 in real life and also metaphorically. 335 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,850 The end. 336 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,554 - Wow! 337 00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,459 I am such a great writer. 338 00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:05,325 Oh, nice work, Dad. They totally bought it. 339 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:09,302 - No need to give me all the cred. 340 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,732 Huh? Ah! 341 00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,067 - I have a question. - Ah, yes. 342 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,732 Uh, the young lady in the front. 343 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,899 - Hi. Clara Godfrey, 344 00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,338 heroic local school teacher-- - No, no, no! Don't call her! 345 00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,274 Peligrosa, peligrosa! - No! 346 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,709 Sorry, sorry, the lady next to you. 347 00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,175 - Hmph! 348 00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,354 - Whew! 349 00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:34,917 - No, Linda, this is not a chew toy. 350 00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,923 - Huh? 351 00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,362 - Yes, thank you. I was wondering, 352 00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,659 do you have any new artwork to share? 353 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,130 - Oh, why, I do, actually. 354 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,000 I brought along a little-- 355 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,897 - Nate, the owl and cat are in the coop. 356 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,510 I repeat, they are in the coop. 357 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,442 The only artwork we gave Wayne is not gonna be a good look. 358 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,348 Everybody, hello? Is anybody there? 359 00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:00,848 What's the matter with this thing? 360 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,753 Ooh, Dee Dee, come in. 361 00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,545 - Ah! 362 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,193 - It's gotta be in here. Oh, I found it. 363 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,727 The Headmaster and the Cat Lady in Tabby Temptation. 364 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:20,768 - We're too late! 365 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,306 - Well, I guess that kinda went okay. 366 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,543 - Hey, Mr. Canine! 367 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,807 - Oh, hi sweet--I mean, 368 00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,176 hello again, young lady. - I just want to tell you, 369 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,046 well, I mean you're pretty much my idol 370 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,654 and I mean I basically want to be you. 371 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,287 - Oh, well, uh, I, uh-- 372 00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,953 - Mr. Canine, are you okay? 373 00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:43,620 - No, no, no! 374 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,585 I can't continue this charade. 375 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,960 I'm a horrible person. 376 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:53,499 Why didn't I stay in that well? 377 00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,096 Ellen, it's me. It's your father. 378 00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,739 - Dad? 379 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,165 You big jerk! - Ellen, please, stop! 380 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,640 - How could you do this to me? 381 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,981 - Ellen, wait! I can explain! 382 00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:12,517 She's never gonna forgive me. 383 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,185 - She was already a total train wreck 384 00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,793 so it's a win-win. 385 00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:19,355 Oh, it's Ellen! Scatter, boys! 386 00:19:23,895 --> 00:19:25,695 - Dude, your pops just got kidnapped 387 00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,365 by a couple mascots. 388 00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,103 - Yeah, yeah, that's my bad. 389 00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,397 That totally wasn't Ellen. 390 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,541 all: Dee Dee? 391 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,935 - Need a ride? 392 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,936 - You bet your ferocious jungle cat we do. 393 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,139 Now, after that creepy abduction van! 394 00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,353 - Ah! 395 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,889 Please! I'll give you anything! 396 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,955 Except money. I don't have that. 397 00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:53,593 Shut up and sit down. 398 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,730 I'm gonna skewer you like a kabob 399 00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,355 if you don't answer my questions. 400 00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,830 - Oh, um, it's hard to hear you. 401 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,298 I think because of the crummy costumes. 402 00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,773 Oh! Oh, no! 403 00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:09,478 - How did you infiltrate P.S. 38? 404 00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,041 - Who are you working for? 405 00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:13,479 - Say, aren't you my kid's teachers? 406 00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:17,916 both: Martin Wright? 407 00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,493 - I knew Nate was involved! 408 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,653 - Hey, when did she get here? 409 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,091 - I simply cannot believe 410 00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:24,994 you'd co-conspire with your son. 411 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,927 - I'd do anything for my son! 412 00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,363 I think I stood up too fast. 413 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,533 - Wait, wait, wait, don't hurt him! 414 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:32,797 It's my fault. 415 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,825 - Nobody's hurting anyone, Nate. 416 00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,171 Mr. Wright, if you truly love your son, 417 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,236 then you'll understand that he must be taught a lesson. 418 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,667 - Prison? 419 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,710 - You're gonna take my thumbs? 420 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,636 - What? Goodness, no. 421 00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:48,051 - We've got something better planned. 422 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:51,584 It's called "The Pathetic Love Life of Gnate." 423 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,351 About a boy named Gnate, with a G, 424 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:58,691 who's in love with a girl named GJenny, also with a G. 425 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:03,228 And even though they've barely ever spoken, 426 00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:07,366 Gnate somehow thinks they belong together. 427 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,233 - You wouldn't! I'd be a goner. 428 00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,741 Teased for the rest of my middle school career. 429 00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,114 - It wouldn't be too nice of her to borrow stories 430 00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,543 from your personal life without consent, now would it? 431 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,709 - No, it wouldn't. 432 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,649 What I did was--it was wrong. 433 00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:25,645 I shouldn't have exploited my family 434 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:29,358 or my teachers for my own personal gain. 435 00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,392 It was wrong, and I'm sorry. 436 00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:34,929 Ah! But you know what? 437 00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:37,063 I think I know a way I can make this right. 438 00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,036 - You did the right thing by donating 439 00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,772 all of your earnings to the school. 440 00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:46,736 Guess that imagination of yours paid off, 441 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,776 didn't it, Nate? - Whoo-hoo! 442 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,610 This doesn't change anything, Nate! 443 00:21:53,311 --> 00:21:55,581 - I think we got ourselves a new mascot. 444 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:58,177 - Linda is most welcome change. 445 00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,485 - Whoo, I'm free! 31708

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