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1
00:00:02,001 --> 00:00:03,401
- Argh! Walk the plank!
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,865
There goes another one.
3
00:00:08,942 --> 00:00:11,082
- My sister Ellen
and her boyfriend Gordie
4
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:12,884
broke up...again!
5
00:00:12,945 --> 00:00:14,975
It's pretty much
wrecking everything.
6
00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:17,088
Please enjoy this
deeply disturbing flashback
7
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:18,750
to see what I mean.
8
00:00:18,818 --> 00:00:20,318
- Nothing like a little
father and son bonding,
9
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:21,388
don't you think?
10
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:28,156
Huh, only a little expired.
11
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,228
- Ah!
12
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,327
Aww...oof!
- Gah!
13
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,474
- Ow! Dad!
- Shh.
14
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,709
- Is she done?
15
00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:45,711
- Ah!
16
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,980
This can't go on.
17
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:25,917
- If a year's worth of sugar
and cheesy romance novels
18
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,486
gets my sister to stop crying,
I'm game.
19
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,955
- "The Purposefully
Accidental Bride."
20
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,864
Ooh, "Crabby Lust",
21
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,626
"Love Doth Know No Calories?"
Mmm.
22
00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:37,225
You old enough
for these, brother?
23
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:39,798
- Yeah, brother.
24
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:41,366
Pretty sure I am.
25
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:45,743
- Hey, Zudy, one more restock
26
00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:49,005
on Jane Steele's new book.
27
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,305
- Huh. This Jane Steele lady,
she's pretty popular, huh?
28
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,949
- Uh, yeah, little bro.
29
00:01:54,014 --> 00:01:57,654
Romance novels
are major cash cows.
30
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:00,148
- Cash cow?
31
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,361
- I totally would've written
a bunch of these myself by now,
32
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,394
but I need inspiration,
you know?
33
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,999
I need a muse.
- A muse, huh?
34
00:02:09,862 --> 00:02:12,102
Ellen! Breakup present.
35
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:14,703
You're welcome.
36
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:15,938
- People that say
"you're welcome"
37
00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:17,312
without getting thanked
are lame.
38
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,135
- Oh, my God, I know.
39
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,177
- I can't believe it either.
Yeah, seriously.
40
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:23,642
Why can't the guys
in real life be like
41
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:25,981
the ones in the Jane Steele
books, you know?
42
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:29,115
- Romance novels
are major cash cows.
43
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:33,052
All you need is
a muse, muse, muse.
44
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:38,225
- Moo, moo, moo.
45
00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,762
- All these thought bubbles
are giving me a bright idea.
46
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,059
Time to turn
Ellen's teenage turmoil
47
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,731
into cold hard cash.
48
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,339
- I couldn't believe it either.
49
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:49,641
I mean we both know
there's someone else, right?
50
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:51,473
I wish somebody was out there,
somebody who would--
51
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:52,768
- Okay, so we open
with a princess,
52
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,610
sad and alone,
and really bad at singing.
53
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:56,175
Like, animals die
when she sings.
54
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,521
- Then some prince dumps her,
55
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,152
so she's acting all lame
and crying and stuff.
56
00:03:04,217 --> 00:03:05,917
But then she meets
a headless farmhand.
57
00:03:05,985 --> 00:03:07,845
Oh, yeah.
58
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:09,460
They get married and have
lots of weird babies
59
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,762
and everything's great.
60
00:03:10,824 --> 00:03:12,464
But then, Headless Guy
totally runs off
61
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,756
with her best maiden, leaving
the princess alone again,
62
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,428
but now with two babies
to care for.
63
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:20,967
And finished!
64
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:25,673
"Belle's a Ringin: A Tale of
Love, Loss, and Headless Lust."
65
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,539
Hey, hey, I know
what you're thinking.
66
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,638
Borrowing Ellen's pathetic life
67
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,010
for my own personal gain.
Uncool.
68
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,109
But hey, it's not like
she's gonna know.
69
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,780
Okay, let's see, let's see.
Fine print, fine print.
70
00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:38,019
Rules, rules, rules,
rules, rules.
71
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,645
Submission guidelines.
Ooh, ooh!
72
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,459
I get to pick a pen name.
73
00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,262
Wayne...uh--
74
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:50,657
Canine, attorney at law.
75
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,070
Profile photo? Uh-oh.
76
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,503
Okay, let's see.
77
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,637
"Super awesome
guy man dude person."
78
00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:59,914
Huh. I guess this guy
looks pretty cool.
79
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:01,883
Yeah, just needs a mustache.
80
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,920
Ha! The resemblance is uncanny.
81
00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,659
- I think it's fine.
82
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:21,885
Imitation is the
highest form of flattery.
83
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,871
- But you faked your identity.
What if you get caught?
84
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,202
- Hey, we're talking about
getting rich, Francis.
85
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,366
Money trumps ethics.
86
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,767
- Time is up, little ones.
87
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,708
- Already?
- Oh, man!
88
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:38,144
- Nate Wright and friends,
I am full of regret,
89
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:42,011
but I will need to receive
my pork butt back now.
90
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,076
Delightful to the touch.
91
00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,991
Is very good job
of meat tenderizing.
92
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:51,315
You will all receive
extra helping of cricket
93
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,761
at snack time.
94
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,596
- Ew!
95
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:58,303
- Oh, great.
What are we gonna do now?
96
00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:01,265
Pork punching is, like, the
only safe activity out here.
97
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,504
- Ah!
98
00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:14,645
Worth it.
99
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:19,346
Yay!
100
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:20,720
- Well, hello, kiddos.
101
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,918
Fine sunny afternoon
for recess, isn't it?
102
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,890
- Are you joking?
This place looks like
103
00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:27,527
it's been decimated
by a tornado.
104
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:32,898
- Oh, please.
This playground is old school.
105
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:36,266
Nah, you're getting
a true recess experience.
106
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,606
- Oh, no. Not again!
107
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,872
- Someone must've taken down
108
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,941
the soft pavement
warning signs.
109
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,409
Let me go lookay into that.
Gotta go!
110
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,524
- Oof!
111
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,991
- Hello? Emotionally stable
household here.
112
00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:55,252
- Yes, hello there, young man.
113
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,632
Can I please speak
with your father?
114
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,891
- Oh, he said
he sent the money
115
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,789
and to please stop
turning the water off.
116
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,460
- No, no, no, no.
I'm looking for Mr. Canine.
117
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,668
Mr. Wayne Canine,
attorney at law?
118
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:10,535
- Oh, yeah!
Okay, uh, back in a jiffy.
119
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:14,313
Wayne! I mean, uh, uh,
Dad, phone!
120
00:06:16,108 --> 00:06:18,778
Hello, Wayne Canine speaking.
121
00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:24,217
- Samantha Stoneheart, editor
at Page Turners Inc. here.
122
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:27,563
We truly loved
your graphic novel.
123
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:29,190
- Oh, wow.
124
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,855
As you can tell
from my deep, mature,
125
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,055
and fully gone through
puberty voice,
126
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,327
I am overjoyed to hear this.
127
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,966
- Now we just need
to discuss your quote.
128
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:41,671
My, uh, my quote?
129
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:45,605
- We do have to pay you for
your first book, Mr. Canine.
130
00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,141
- Mm, yes, of course.
131
00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:56,119
I would like 30...
bags of cheesy snacks, please.
132
00:06:56,182 --> 00:07:01,022
- You're sure
you only want 30 bags?
133
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:05,428
- Oh. I meant 30 hundred--
300 bags.
134
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,362
- Great. Consider it done.
135
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,597
We'll need the other five books
as required in your contract.
136
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,473
Just send me a list
of what you'd like as payment.
137
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,267
- Five other books?
138
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,442
- Okay, guys,
139
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:20,707
new plan for recess today.
140
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,484
- Anything to get out
of thorn bush tag.
141
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:27,879
- Yikes.
142
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,277
- Hey, do I have anything
on my face?
143
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:34,290
I think the pain centers
in my brain shut down.
144
00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:36,393
Oh!
- Ugh!
145
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,286
- So what's your recess
plan, Nate?
146
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,728
- Oh, you guys
are gonna love it.
147
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,233
You're all gonna
help me write five novels.
148
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,495
- Yes!
- What?
149
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,674
- Bro, you know I would do
anything for you.
150
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,973
Not really.
151
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:48,903
But why are we getting
roped into your problem?
152
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,268
300 bags of cheesy snacks
153
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,678
enough rope for you?
- Yup, that'll work.
154
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,912
- That's a lot of
Thiamine mononitrate.
155
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,846
- Yeah and that's
just the beginning.
156
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:01,381
They said they'd meet
whatever our demands are
157
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,077
for the next batch.
Here's the deal.
158
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,119
We spy on everyone we know,
159
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,745
borrow their life stories,
use our imaginations
160
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,461
to make them sound
actually interesting.
161
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,263
I draw up the art,
bada-bing, bada-boom,
162
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,994
five more graphic novels.
163
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:16,660
I mean, it's so complicated,
it might just work.
164
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,600
Dee Dee, stick to Nichols.
- On it.
165
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:20,697
- I know Mother,
but speed dating
166
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,328
just isn't what it used to be--
167
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,242
- My love handles?
168
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:28,405
Do not make this
about my diet, Mother!
169
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,580
- Francis, you handle Godfrey.
170
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:34,475
- Location? Rackleff.
171
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:37,218
Hobbies? Cats.
172
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,923
Six things
I can't live without?
173
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:41,645
Well, I have seven cats
so I'm going to skip this one.
174
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:44,831
It wouldn't be fair
to Jermaine du-Purr.
175
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,602
- Teddy,
you've got Uncle Pedro.
176
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,001
- Hey, Uncle Pedro.
177
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,962
Do you have any fun stories
from middle school?
178
00:08:56,235 --> 00:09:00,205
- And Chad, you have
the most dangerous job of all.
179
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,513
Chad?
180
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,775
- What is he up to now?
181
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,754
- I'm almost there.
I'm almost there!
182
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,112
- Ugh, come on, Chad!
You can do it!
183
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,021
All right, no more vertical
slide for you this week, okay?
184
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,886
We need you in one piece.
- Okay, okay.
185
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:18,626
I promise.
186
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,462
- Now, I need you
to get some intel
187
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,157
on the girls in our grade,
188
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,729
okay, pal?
- Okay, Nate.
189
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,097
- And I'm on Ellen
rebound patrol.
190
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,426
Now, everyone scurry
in different directions.
191
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:31,070
Ready? Go.
192
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:32,768
C'mon, Chad.
193
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,370
Let's go get you a chew toy.
194
00:09:36,644 --> 00:09:41,454
Nate, what are you up to now?
195
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,023
Huh? Ah!
196
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:52,486
He's ok, but like he needs
to commit to his chin straps.
197
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:54,658
- Gotta write this down.
Gotta write this down.
198
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:58,627
Come on. Stupid bag.
199
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,128
Got it! But wait, am I in the--
200
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:09,005
- Um, you okay in there?
201
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,576
- Um, yes.
202
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,754
- Are you sure?
- Please go away!
203
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:16,522
- All right, fine.
Don't wanna hurt you.
204
00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,093
Oh!
205
00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,125
What do I do, what do I do,
what do I do, what do I do?
206
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,801
-There's no escape!
207
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,113
- I wonder
if this one's any good.
208
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:43,342
- This guy, Wayne Canine,
he's been making waves lately.
209
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:47,079
- Hmm...
"Belle's A Ringin'," eh?
210
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:52,653
- No, no!
211
00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:58,688
- Pew, pew, pew!
212
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,929
- It's like this book
was written for me.
213
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,264
And the author
is a low key snack.
214
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,530
Do you have a signed copy?
215
00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:06,126
- No, but he's a local,
216
00:11:06,198 --> 00:11:08,568
so I'm sure you can get one.
217
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:10,804
You know, I've been known to do
218
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,910
a little writin' myself,
mostly on my back.
219
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,244
- Yeah, okay, whatever, Zeff.
220
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:18,137
Did you say that Wayne Canine
is from Rackleff?
221
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,581
Amelia? Okay, I am obsessed.
222
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,448
Okay, so my fan petition
is to get him
223
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:26,215
to do a reading in town.
Will you sign?
224
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,116
Yay! I love you. Mwah!
225
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,897
- Huh?
226
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:45,471
Wait...
227
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,638
this isn't my litterbox.
228
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:50,906
Someone get me out of here!
Anyone, please.
229
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,250
- All right.
230
00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,246
Five books finished, time to
enjoy the fruits of our labor.
231
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,060
- Sweet! Matching outfits.
232
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,723
- Whoa!
233
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:14,670
- This is very suspicious,
Nate Wright.
234
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,404
- Nate, did you order a--
- A tiger!
235
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,071
We'll call her Linda.
236
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:25,281
- Ha! "The Cat Lady's Desire."
237
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,045
What the mustard sauce is this?
238
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,115
I'll take this as well,
young man.
239
00:12:30,182 --> 00:12:32,422
- All right,
just a few more pennies.
240
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:33,985
- Principal Nichols!
241
00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:37,063
- This cat lady
remind you of anyone?
242
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,955
- I don't have time
to deal with this.
243
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:42,727
We had another student fall off
the vertical slide today.
244
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,926
- Fine, fine.
What about this spectacled owl?
245
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,868
Looks a tad like you,
doesn't he?
246
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,974
I'm sorry, Clara.
It's probably just
247
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,997
an enormous coincidence,
a'ight?
248
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,742
- Well, I for one am going
to this book signing
249
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:58,207
and demanding answers
from this Wayne Canine.
250
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,718
Hm, "chubby speed dating
headmaster
251
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:06,953
with an inherited
glandular problem."
252
00:13:08,087 --> 00:13:10,057
That sounds a lot like--what?
253
00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:14,058
- So thanks to me, Wayne Canine
254
00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,786
will be doing a book signing
in Rackleff.
255
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:18,763
And I get to meet him.
256
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,201
- I think that's great, Ellen.
257
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,767
If it's okay with you,
I'd love to join.
258
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,236
- Okay, fine.
259
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,984
But just don't, like,
be super weird about it.
260
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,141
- We're doomed.
We're gonna get so busted.
261
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,310
- It's okay, it's okay.
Dee Dee's got this.
262
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,509
All we need is a real life
Wayne Canine.
263
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,847
Whose dog is that?
264
00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,318
- As in an adult to play along
with our plan?
265
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,588
- No, we need someone
so forgettable
266
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,387
and unrecognizable,
267
00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:49,059
that not a soul in Rackleff
will suspect a thing.
268
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,999
- Well, yeah,
but how can we find someone
269
00:13:51,063 --> 00:13:54,133
so utterly pathetic
and completely unknown?
270
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:05,882
- Nate Wright,
whose tiger is in the yard?
271
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,384
- Okay, I'm really,
really sorry.
272
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,920
But Dad,
I did it for the family.
273
00:14:14,553 --> 00:14:15,923
All right, it was
purely selfish.
274
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,819
Will you please
just help us, Dad?
275
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,960
Think of Ellen,
your only daughter.
276
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:22,757
I mean if Wayne Canine is
a no-show at the book signing,
277
00:14:22,828 --> 00:14:25,198
she's gonna be heartbroken
all over again.
278
00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:26,474
She needs you.
279
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,573
I need you, Dad.
280
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,713
- Wow, Dad.
You look, uh, like--
281
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:39,848
- A handsome detective--
282
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,883
right?
283
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,878
- Uh, yeah, okay, sure.
284
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,281
that's totally
what I was gonna say.
285
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:47,221
Now remember, you're gonna
have me in your ear
286
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,717
for the question
and answer part
287
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,858
so I can feed you
"author jargon."
288
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:51,963
I'll be right outside
the book store
289
00:14:52,024 --> 00:14:53,534
in a creepy old station wagon.
290
00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:55,132
- You mean my station wagon?
291
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:56,995
- Yeah, yeah,
that's the station wagon.
292
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,273
- Here's the plan.
I'll be manning base command.
293
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,631
Teddy, you run
in-store surveillance.
294
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,241
Francis, you're with Nate.
295
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:04,572
And Chad, you--
296
00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:07,306
Chad?
297
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,344
Has anybody seen Chad?
298
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,878
- Who's Chad?
299
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,851
Do you have anything
300
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:22,519
to say for yourself, Henry?
301
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,958
Those mulch
piles were public property.
302
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,534
I had every right.
303
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,600
I will have order.
304
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,362
Order in this court, I say.
305
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,501
Order!
306
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,600
Ah, delivery is here, sweetie.
307
00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:40,409
Oh!
308
00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,116
- Dad, are we carpooling?
309
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,682
- Be down in a jiff,
sweetheart.
310
00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,820
Oh, oh, um, we gotta bring
311
00:15:53,885 --> 00:15:55,355
Nate and his friends, okay?
312
00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,292
We're, uh, fumigating.
313
00:15:57,356 --> 00:16:00,126
- Ugh, Dad!
314
00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:01,962
- Cheese and rice, Martin.
315
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:03,698
This was your chance
to bond with your daughter.
316
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:04,763
Don't blow this!
317
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,331
Ah!
318
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:13,441
- Hey, why don't you all
head in. I have to--
319
00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,475
- Okay, I'll save you
a spot maybe.
320
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,912
- Okay, you've got like
t-minus five seconds
321
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,076
to become Wayne again, Dad.
322
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:24,024
- Hey, look, he's here.
323
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:25,623
It's Wayne Canine!
324
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:27,794
- Oh, hey, uh, hi.
325
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:30,494
Nice to meet you.
Thanks for coming out.
326
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,057
- Excuse me, Mr. Canine,
327
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:34,855
make it out to
your, uh, biggest fan.
328
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:40,166
- Thank you, thank you!
329
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,342
Oh, I will treasure
this forever.
330
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,042
- Nate,
I'll be your Wayne Canine
331
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,205
whenever you need me to.
332
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,744
And so they rode on,
333
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:51,438
through the ozone layer,
on fire,
334
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:54,410
in real life
and also metaphorically.
335
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,850
The end.
336
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,554
- Wow!
337
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:02,459
I am such a great writer.
338
00:17:03,855 --> 00:17:05,325
Oh, nice work, Dad.
They totally bought it.
339
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:09,302
- No need to give me
all the cred.
340
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,732
Huh? Ah!
341
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:12,067
- I have a question.
- Ah, yes.
342
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,732
Uh, the young lady
in the front.
343
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:15,899
- Hi. Clara Godfrey,
344
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:18,338
heroic local school teacher--
- No, no, no! Don't call her!
345
00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,274
Peligrosa, peligrosa!
- No!
346
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,709
Sorry, sorry,
the lady next to you.
347
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:25,175
- Hmph!
348
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,354
- Whew!
349
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:34,917
- No, Linda,
this is not a chew toy.
350
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,923
- Huh?
351
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,362
- Yes, thank you. I was
wondering,
352
00:17:42,429 --> 00:17:44,659
do you have
any new artwork to share?
353
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,130
- Oh, why, I do, actually.
354
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,000
I brought along a little--
355
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,897
- Nate, the owl and cat
are in the coop.
356
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,510
I repeat, they are in the coop.
357
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,442
The only artwork we gave Wayne
is not gonna be a good look.
358
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:58,348
Everybody, hello?
Is anybody there?
359
00:17:59,778 --> 00:18:00,848
What's the matter
with this thing?
360
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,753
Ooh, Dee Dee, come in.
361
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,545
- Ah!
362
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,193
- It's gotta be in here.
Oh, I found it.
363
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,727
The Headmaster and the Cat Lady
in Tabby Temptation.
364
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:20,768
- We're too late!
365
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,306
- Well, I guess
that kinda went okay.
366
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:28,543
- Hey, Mr. Canine!
367
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,807
- Oh, hi sweet--I mean,
368
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,176
hello again, young lady.
- I just want to tell you,
369
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,046
well, I mean you're
pretty much my idol
370
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,654
and I mean
I basically want to be you.
371
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:40,287
- Oh, well, uh, I, uh--
372
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,953
- Mr. Canine, are you okay?
373
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:43,620
- No, no, no!
374
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,585
I can't continue this charade.
375
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,960
I'm a horrible person.
376
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:53,499
Why didn't I stay in that well?
377
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,096
Ellen, it's me.
It's your father.
378
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,739
- Dad?
379
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,165
You big jerk!
- Ellen, please, stop!
380
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,640
- How could you do this to me?
381
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,981
- Ellen, wait! I can explain!
382
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:12,517
She's never gonna forgive me.
383
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,185
- She was already a total
train wreck
384
00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:16,793
so it's a win-win.
385
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:19,355
Oh, it's Ellen! Scatter, boys!
386
00:19:23,895 --> 00:19:25,695
- Dude, your pops
just got kidnapped
387
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,365
by a couple mascots.
388
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,103
- Yeah, yeah, that's my bad.
389
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,397
That totally wasn't Ellen.
390
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,541
all: Dee Dee?
391
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:33,935
- Need a ride?
392
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,936
- You bet your ferocious
jungle cat we do.
393
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,139
Now, after that
creepy abduction van!
394
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,353
- Ah!
395
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,889
Please! I'll give you anything!
396
00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,955
Except money.
I don't have that.
397
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:53,593
Shut up and sit down.
398
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,730
I'm gonna skewer you
like a kabob
399
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:57,355
if you don't answer
my questions.
400
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,830
- Oh, um,
it's hard to hear you.
401
00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,298
I think because
of the crummy costumes.
402
00:20:04,103 --> 00:20:06,773
Oh! Oh, no!
403
00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:09,478
- How did you
infiltrate P.S. 38?
404
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,041
- Who are you working for?
405
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:13,479
- Say, aren't you
my kid's teachers?
406
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:17,916
both: Martin Wright?
407
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,493
- I knew Nate was involved!
408
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,653
- Hey, when did she get here?
409
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,091
- I simply cannot believe
410
00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:24,994
you'd co-conspire
with your son.
411
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,927
- I'd do anything for my son!
412
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:29,363
I think I stood up too fast.
413
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,533
- Wait, wait, wait,
don't hurt him!
414
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:32,797
It's my fault.
415
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,825
- Nobody's hurting anyone,
Nate.
416
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,171
Mr. Wright,
if you truly love your son,
417
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,236
then you'll understand that
he must be taught a lesson.
418
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,667
- Prison?
419
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,710
- You're gonna take my thumbs?
420
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,636
- What? Goodness, no.
421
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:48,051
- We've got something
better planned.
422
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:51,584
It's called "The Pathetic
Love Life of Gnate."
423
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,351
About a boy named Gnate,
with a G,
424
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:58,691
who's in love with a girl
named GJenny, also with a G.
425
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:03,228
And even though
they've barely ever spoken,
426
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:07,366
Gnate somehow thinks
they belong together.
427
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,233
- You wouldn't! I'd be a goner.
428
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,741
Teased for the rest
of my middle school career.
429
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,114
- It wouldn't be too nice
of her to borrow stories
430
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,543
from your personal life
without consent, now would it?
431
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,709
- No, it wouldn't.
432
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,649
What I did was--it was wrong.
433
00:21:23,715 --> 00:21:25,645
I shouldn't have
exploited my family
434
00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:29,358
or my teachers
for my own personal gain.
435
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,392
It was wrong, and I'm sorry.
436
00:21:33,259 --> 00:21:34,929
Ah! But you know what?
437
00:21:34,993 --> 00:21:37,063
I think I know a way
I can make this right.
438
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,036
- You did the right thing
by donating
439
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:44,772
all of your earnings
to the school.
440
00:21:44,836 --> 00:21:46,736
Guess that
imagination of yours paid off,
441
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,776
didn't it, Nate?
- Whoo-hoo!
442
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,610
This doesn't change
anything, Nate!
443
00:21:53,311 --> 00:21:55,581
- I think we got ourselves
a new mascot.
444
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:58,177
- Linda is most welcome change.
445
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:02,485
- Whoo, I'm free!
31708
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