All language subtitles for Resident.Alien.S02E04.720p.HDTV.x265-MiNX

Previously
on "Resident Alien"...

Break me out of here,
but you have to do it quick.

What do you mean?

Your people will send
someone else

to kill everyone for you.

Including asta?

- You're an alien.
- You know, phone home.

Call them
and tell them not to come.

I will try to build a radio
to contact my people.

Mm.

Yes!

Time for you two
to get to colorado

to find me whatever
was flying that machine.

- Max, who is that?
- Why is he wearing a white coat?

- Are you the town doctor?
- Yes, I am.

I remember everything,

even though I'm not supposed to.

Most people don't.

There were others in the ship,
you know, who were taken?

Like an intergalactic orphanage.

Growing up that way
probably felt very alienating.

Showed me my mom and dad
a few times.

Been searching for them
ever since the aliens

dumped me back here
five years ago.

Then I can imagine
the complicated feelings

you have for them.

All that time,
all those missed opportunities.

It's the missing things,
right, doc?

The missing things
are what help you heal.

Attachments, like you said.

Feel like I'm a single thread

from blowing away
in the wind altogether.

Unfortunately,
we're out of time this week.

- Same time next week?
- Mm.

What do you think
about the new one?

I'm not sure yet...

but I'll find out.

I'll find the truth
about all of them.

Children, a pestilence.

They are not so much born,
but replicate like a virus,

continuing humanity's path
toward destruction.

Plus, it is illegal
to make them work,

so they are just gum stuck
to the bottom of your shoe.

Listen up, skin bags.

I have built a radio
to tell my people

not to come and kill everyone,
including you.

That was difficult.

I am now the savior
of the human race,

so you can give me
my alien ball back.

I would, but I gave your ball
to my dad.

He uses it to golf.

You cannot golf with that ball.

Maybe you can't
because you're a bad golfer,

but he got a hole in one,
and in that hole was bird poop.

So now your silver alien ball
is covered in bird poop.

I changed my mind.

I am going to tell my people
to save everyone but you,

and when you are dead,
I'm going to freeze you

and make snow cones
out of your gross, dead ice

and add the worst
snow cone flavor to it... papaya.

That's dark.

You know
what I'm gonna do to you?

What could you do to me?

You are a monster.

You will bring me my alien ball.

You sick, broken child.

That's cool.

He's building a radio
to save us.

- Are you a goldfish?
- It's not a radio.

It's a bomb.

Humans live to consume,

and their appetites are endless.

They drop garbage on the ground

wherever they go.

Earth is like a house
they've lit on fire

but continue to live in,

and they use
the earth's resources

to make ugly things
like teal crocs

and truck ducks.

You rock, d'arcy!

D'arcy!

D'arcy!

- All right, d'arcy!
- Let's go, patience!

Whoo!

- He seems like a nice guy.
- She looks happy.

I am not engaging.

Keeping my distance,
and you don't have to comment.

It's called boundaries.

Could you hypothetically
do a background check?

Wait, nope. Say nothing.

All right, patience!

Let's hold 'em to zero runs.

That's right, zero runs

on the board for jessup.

Three for patience.

Thus patience...
Better than jessup.

Hey, there.

Didn't recognize you
not flat on your back.

That's nice hair, bloom.

Next time, I'll show you
how to do a real braid.

Just let me know if you
want me to have the pitcher

slow it down for you
so you can get a hit.

I'll take it as slow
or as fast as you want to go.

Second base, second base!

Second! Second!

- Got him.
- No way.

- You're out.
- Yeah!

Way to go d'arcy!

Fast enough for you?

Nice job, d'arcy!

I'll be right back.

Sit in front of us.

The fate of everyone on earth
is at stake.

She thinks
harry's building a bomb.

He's not. It's a radio.

When somebody
shows you who they are,

believe them the first time.

That's pretty deep
for someone your age.

- It's maya angelou.
- Dr. Maya angelou.

An actual doctor,

unlike the alien
who pretended to be one.

What else does he pretend to do?

- Oh!
- Foul ball.

Ha!

- Ha ha ha.
- Harry.

- What are you looking at?
- Get your own ball.

- Harry.
- Mine.

- I just caught it.
- Harry.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Good job, kid.

I want that back.

What are you doing?

Watching the game.

When these
hammy humans are finished,

I'm going to pick
the celestial flowers

that grew from the water
of my spaceship.

It is for my radio.

What do flowers
have to do with your radio?

Plants have the most
complex biochemistry

of anything in nature,

yet humans give them to say,

"I love you.

Here are some flowers.
You are dead."

I want to see this radio.

Why is she looking at me
like that?

Do I have a booger
on the edge of my nose?

Is it on my face?

You know, I've always really
been interested in radios.

- Mm-hmm.
- Like, how do they work?

You know, like this one,
for instance.

Like, how does it actually send
a signal across the universe

all the way to your planet?

In two days,
at exactly 11:06 a.M.,

the earth's axial tilt

will be in line
with the mars transit station.

- Transit station on mars?
- That's weird.

We didn't know
anything about that.

Ha ha ha!

Humans don't know anything
about anything.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's funny because it's true.

So this fissure of tellurium

will boost the radio signal,

bouncing the message
off of the radio transmitter

which humans
have named oumuamua.

Huh.

And it will send
the message to my people.

All the way to your planet.

Off the radio transmitter.

Anyway,
it will send them the message,

and they will not come
and kill everyone.

I have to do it
at that exact time.

Why that exact time?

Because the...

the conditions will be ideal,

and they will not be ideal
again for an entire year,

and then it will be too late.

Why are you squinting at me?

Why are you asking
so many questions?

Do I have a booger on my face?
Point at the booger.

Mm, I think you're lying
about what this is.

Painful.

Your last radio ended up
being a human death bomb,

and you lied that whole time.

Well, you just lied to me
just now

about being interested
in radios.

I knew you were lying.
You're not a good actress.

You could not play
a beach corpse

- on "law and order."
- excuse me.

You know,
this "tellurium fissure,"

it goes right through
the reservation,

so I think that's maybe where
we're gonna go to set it up.

- We?
- Yes, we.

My dad and I are coming

just to make sure
you're not lying.

Still painful.

Good to see you.

I like being on the reservation.

It feels comfortable.
There is a warmth to it.

They must like it too,
since they're always together.

- Hey, harry.
- Let's get you some food.

Yes.

Big leroy.

- Yep.
- Get harry a plate, yeah?

Yeah, for sure.

Oh, oh, hey, hey.

- And how's little leroy?
- Hopefully almost here.

Starting to kick
like a little fancy dancer.

Oh.

- Are you outdoorsy, harry?
- Yes.

My people prefer it outdoors.

Oh, who are your people?

The dutch.

- All right, here you go.
- Enjoy.

Thank you.

You're that harry weirdo
who came with dan and asta.

And you're that weirdo
who talks to weirdos.

Weirdo.

I'm drew.

It's all kind of my fault.

You know, it's like
every time I leave the city

and come back to the rez,

they gotta invite
everybody over.

Exhausting.

I'm exhausted
just listening to you.

I don't know.

Ever feel like you
belong someplace else?

Yes.

Hey, deputy,
I had to drop some shirts off

at the dry cleaners,
so they gave me

your dress here to give to you.

I don't have any dry cleaning.

Wait, I've been looking
all over for that dress.

Did you take it in for me?
I would have remembered.

No, I don't make a habit

of walking around
with women's clothing.

Although, I do like dresses
with pockets.

It makes the handbag optional.

Of course,
you could always just throw

a couple bandolier belts
over your shoulders

and tuck little tampons
in each little bullet slot.

Sir, how many tampons
do you think I need?

Shit, as many as you can carry.

Tampons are extremely versatile.

You can use them
for gunshot wounds,

- for a sweaty brow.
- Oh.

They actually
should market 'em to men

and call 'em manpons.
I'd buy them.

That's quite the ted talk, sir.

Um, judy cooper
is here to see you.

Oh, shit.

I think she thinks you're dating

because you danced with her.

- I ain't danced with her.
- She danced on me.

Hi, judy.

I brought you a cake.

It's store-bought.

- Okay.
- Yep.

Well, so do you wanna put
your number in my phone or...

- Uh-uh.
- No, no, no, no, no.

- Ah, this guy's old-school.
- Mm-hmm.

- I like that.
- Yeah.

So I'll just give you my number.

Use it or lose it.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Okay.
- It's right on your hand.

All right.

- You got it.
- Okay.

- Bye, judy.
- Bye, judy.

O-kay.
There she is in the window.

Oh, just in case we missed it.

- Oh, look at that.
- She... she waving there.

- She's...
- Is she gone?

- It might be fun.
- Oh, hell no.

- Are you crazy?
- Come on.

All you do is work
and take care of your dad.

Like, when was the last time
you went on a date?

I've got people I can call.

That was a very long lunch.

How do humans talk for hours

about different ways
to cook their meat?

It's a good hike
to the campsite.

Got decent elevation.

Yeah, most importantly,
it's in the middle of nowhere.

- Why is that important?
- Oh, I don't know.

I normally prefer not to have

a lot of people watching
when I try

- to contact an alien race.
- Hey, wait up!

Jay's gonna watch the kids
so we can come with you.

- Oh!
- And I brought jerky.

Oh, uh...

- Hi, honey.
- Hey.

I know you've been working hard

on those patience
family day ideas,

so I brought you tacos
for lunch.

Ah, you are the best.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my god.

No, this isn't even albuquerque.

We're... we're in mexico.

I am literally eating
from a taco truck

parked at a mayan temple.

I'm so glad you love them.

They are from a new restaurant
in jessup.

Really?

You were just at a mayan temple.

Well, maybe I don't appreciate

their human sacrifices.

So you spit out good food

just because
it comes from jessup?

This is food from the town
that is slandering our town.

The town mayor
is slandering us, not the town,

and he's probably
a perfectly lovely guy.

He's done a nice job
with jessup.

The town's got
a good vibe going on.

Well, patience
had a good vibe too,

before all this
murder stuff happened.

- Mm-hmm.
- You know, not counting

the dead miners

or the church burning down
in the '80s.

I'm gonna be honest with you.

I think that you could learn
a thing or two from them

about reshaping
our town's image.

Look,
there's a restaurant in jessup

that has a great happy hour.

Let's go tonight.

If you hate it,
you can use everything

you hate in your commercial.

We'll call it research.

- Actually not a bad idea.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, I'll check it out.

Yeah, there's my man.

There's my little taco hound.

Are you guys ready
to fish in the morning?

If you don't have your rods,
you can share mine.

Uh, yeah, thanks,

but, um, I think harry
really wants to take a hike

in the morning, so we're
probably gonna do that.

- Oh, that sounds so fun.
- I'll join you guys.

I know a great spot.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, you know,
fishing's your thing though.

You should definitely do that.

- No, that's ridiculous.
- I'll fish later.

Oh, I was actually...

Why don't you
hang back with me, cuz?

I might kinda want
to learn how to fish.

- Oh!
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, oh, all right, well,

I guess you're stuck with harry.

Yeah.

And, you come with me
to find some wood.

I'll be right there.

You're welcome.

- What?
- I'm a ho.

I know about ho shit.

Go be a freak in the forest.
I won't tell no one.

- No, no, no, no, that's not...
- I'm already walking away.

Oh, dude, dude, dude,
no, no, no, that's not...

- Do you need some help?
- No.

The portable house is broken.

And your family people
are going to ruin the plan.

I took care of them.

And if you want to do this,
we're setting up over there.

In the meantime,
there's the mountain.

It's gonna take a long time
to get there from camp.

We have to get there
at 11:06 a.M., precisely.

This is our one chance.

Yeah. You said.

You are looking
constipated again.

I'm gonna go talk to my dad.

Don't play poker, my girl.

I want to believe him.

Do you trust harry?

What I believe
should have nothing to do

with what you believe.

Deep down in your gut,
do you trust him?

Yeah, I do.

Good.

That makes one of us.

See, lots of plastic straws
in this restaurant,

but no turtles. Coincidence?

Sweetie, could you please
just try and enjoy yourself?

Did I hear someone
is concerned about the straws?

Ours are made from cornstarch.

They decompose
and are very friendly

to our aquatic dwelling friends.

Well, what if the turtles
are on land

and they eat the straws
when they're dry?

- Very sharp.
- He's just making a joke.

Of course.

Can I start you all with a glass

of jessup's
world-famous spring water?

Famous? That's odd.

I always thought water was
just water because it's water.

I totally understand
you thinking that

since
you've never had our water.

Fine, I'll have a glass
of ice water please.

Oh, we don't do ice water here.

If you put ice in the water,
you can't taste the water.

Wow.

You know, I think
we're just gonna need

another couple of minutes.

Might be a murder in jessup
after all.

Yeah, there might be.

- Whoo, nice!
- Yeah.

Hey, you look happy.

It is nice to be somewhere

that is untouched
by human consumption and greed.

And the music was... Not bad.

It's not completely untouched.

I been camping here
since I was a boy.

Summer comes later,
less water in the streams.

Wouldn't be surprised
if it all dried up someday.

As a tribe, we can
do a ceremony and give thanks,

but if the change
isn't happening globally,

it's just not gonna
make a difference.

These people seem to understand.

Maybe there is
no saving the humans.

If my people kill them all,
they die,

but if we do not
kill the humans,

they will destroy the planet,
then they will die anyway,

and every beautiful thing
on this planet

will die with them.

It doesn't make sense.

Like, how could I drop a whole
dress off at the dry cleaners

and not even remember?

That's weird,
especially for you.

Yeah, you've a flawless memory.

You always remember everywhere
I stash my weed.

That's some smile from someone

who just lost
another baseball game.

- Still playing.
- Different game though.

We both could win.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That should have sounded
really cheesy, but it didn't,

and I'm suspicious.

I'm gonna need to see some id.

That's a clever way
to get my name.

It's elliot.

I even got a lanyard
from my worksite.

- Worksite?
- Yeah.

Very adult.

I got a degree in archaeology

thinking I was gonna be
the indigenous indiana jones.

I'd watch that.

So did you find the ark?

Not yet.

I don't give up very easily

when I'm looking
for something special.

Right.

Coming.

- He's cute.
- That guy? No.

I can't date him.
His hair's way nicer than mine.

You're, like,
even worse than mike.

Oh, real talk, though.

The munsters are coming to town
for the summer.

Gerald and bethany are here?

It's my dad's birthday tomorrow.

- Aw.
- Will you come to dinner?

They love you,
and if you're there,

maybe they'll have fun
and not try to fix my life.

Of course, and it will be fun.

But why are you
still talking to me?

Sorry, ma'am,
we're all out of t-shirts.

Damn it.

- Asked around about you.
- Oh, great.

So you know I'm a disaster.

I know
you're a professional skier.

That was a long time ago.

Who you were isn't who you are.

You're funny and smart,

and you got a wicked arm.

And you're pretty.

Uh, actually, I think
you're really, really pretty.

So you should let me take you
out to dinner tomorrow.

I already have a dinner thing,

but if you're down for dessert,
we could meet up after.

Okay, oh, and be sure
to be holding a single red rose

so I can tell you apart

from all the other hot guys
waiting for a lady.

That's good.

Now can I buy a drink
for your friend

down at the end of the bar

for telling you
to flirt with me?

Courtesy of our mayor.

Hi, mitch green,
mayor of jessup.

It is so nice to have
a fellow mayor visiting.

Good to meet you, ben.

That is so nice of you.

This water
is from the '73 wildfire.

Smoke settled
on an exceptional snowpack,

giving the water clear tones
of mesquite.

Yeah, I think we're probably
pretty good on the water.

You're angry about the ad.

Look, a little rivalry's good
for the both of us.

You'll understand in a few years

when you've been a mayor
for a little longer.

Well, I have been a mayor
for quite some time,

- and I have seen...
- a lot.

The truth is, you just have
a tougher hill to climb.

See, we have the best water
in the world,

and you have 59 dead miners.

It's... So tragic.

That's not tragic.

The 59 is a story
about sacrifice.

Sorry, mrs. Mayor,

but doesn't play like sacrifice.

It plays like the beginning
of a horror movie.

Am I right, ben?

- I actually have a name.
- It's kate.

I'm a teacher
and I have a jd/ph.D.

In environmental law
from cu boulder.

- I meant no disrespect.
- Oh, yes, you did.

The 59 is a beautiful story

about people who are willing
to die to save each other.

We're a town full of heroes.

And if you can't see that,
you're an idiot.

By the way,
your water tastes like shit,

and who the hell puts
cacao nibs in a citrus salad?

It's gross.

Can't help with
the anger issues,

but...
Your salad will be comped.

What happened to "he's
probably a perfectly nice guy?"

- screw him.
- We're outta here.

What a douchebag.

Ow, no.

60 seconds.

The petals.

- Tell me it's a radio.
- It's a radio.

- Okay, I believe you.
- I have to.

- Thank you.
- Thank you for this.

For saving all of us.

You are welcome.

The signal will tell my people

not to come and kill everyone
for 50 years.

What?

After you are old and die,
then my people will come,

and they will kill
the rest of the human race.

- What?
- You're welcome!

50 years?

You get to live,
and the planet gets to live.

- I'm a genius.
- No. We need to stop it!

Ten more seconds.

My people need to come
and save the bison.

Ow, you're hurting me.

- I'm sorry.
- No!

I'm going to smash it!

Liar! No!

This was it.

Our last chance.

Now you are going to die too.

I guess you'll just have
to figure something else out.

Why do you care?

I'm experiencing anger.

You were going to be dead
long before they come!

How do you still not get this?

This is not just about me.

What about everyone
that I care about?

D'arcy will be dead
many years before you.

You have to figure this out.

I am pacing out of anger!

If my device had delivered
its message,

we would have 50 years
to figure this out.

Now we will have 50 days
if we are lucky.

No, we would have had
50 years for you to do nothing!

I know that you don't care
unless it's me.

So guess what. It's me again.

Shit, it's big leroy.

Hi, leroy.

Slow down. What happened?

Hi, sunny. Cavalry's here.

Hey, harry's here.

He's a doctor.
You're gonna be okay.

I can do it.

All right, sunny, look at me.

Okay, breathe in deep.

Good.

Good.

Slow it down.

- Ah.
- Hello, sweetheart.

Hi, dad.

Oh.

Look at you, my baby.

I love your confidence.

You'll just wear anything,
won't you?

Okay.

I missed you.

Well, I've just been here
being confident.

Stop it.

Well, it's good
to see you, sweetheart.

How are you doing?

- Good.
- Happy birthday, dad.

Bonsoir.

Your table is ready.
Won't you follow me?

- After you.
- Thank you.

That's fine,
but the most important question

is which one's your favorite?

"dream warriors", obviously.

It had the most iconic
freddy line of all time.

Welcome to prime time, bitch.

Oh, my god, he's on a date.

I've been pushing him.
It's finally happening.

Fancy yourself a matchmaker?

I don't know, maybe.

- That's good to know.
- Oh, for...

Okay, sunny.

The head came out,
but it went back in.

- I'm gonna try...
- That is shoulder dystocia.

- Is that bad?
- I can fix it.

Because I spent
an entire weekend last month

watching youtube videos
on human birthing.

- No.
- - Also videos of a monkey

bathing a duck in the sink.

Let me think.

Asta, let the doctor do his job.

- It's okay.
- Come.

You and you, help keep

sunny's thighs up
towards her stomach.

Asta, place
your hands suprapubically

over the fetal
anterior shoulder,

applying pressure in a cpr style

in a downward lateral motion.

Be sure to like and subscribe.

- What about me?
- What do I do?

Just hold her hand.

Okay. You got this, baby.

Okay, sunny,
you're gonna have one big push.

Harry, tell me
when you're ready.

I'm ready.

Okay, on the count
of three, sunny.

One, two, three. Push.

Here's little leroy.

My species
would never come together

for a birth like this,
and we never touch a newborn.

When the egg sack bursts
and the young emerge,

the sulfuric ooze is toxic.

We're gonna smudge
that umbilical cord.

Wrap it in this buckskin.

Keep it in a cedar box,
put it in the house.

We do this to keep the kid

from wandering too far...

or for too long.

Not bad, weirdo.

Well, listen to me
going on and on about myself

without asking you anything.

So tell me, what brought you
to patience from d.C.?

Ha. You know what?

I'm fine just talking
about you, honestly.

No, I'm serious.

It's really not that
interesting, you know.

Have you tried that
burger place down by the lake?

Their burgers there,

they got burgers
the size of your head.

Oh, come on,
I bet you're one of the most

pathologically interesting men
in this whole town.

- Oh, wow.
- I wanna know your story.

Ooh, is it dangerous?

Like if you told me,
you'd have to kill.

So you wanna know why
I moved here from d.C.?

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

Well, I'll tell you,

I was a cop,
and I made a mistake,

and my best friend died.

So I dragged my sick dad
out here

to this shitty little town
in the middle of nowhere,

that's full of people

who don't know
how to leave well enough alone.

Good night.

- Oh, no.
- Excuse me.

How are you doing,
really, sweetheart?

- Are you okay?
- Great, I'm happy.

I'm doing incredibly good.
Too good, actually.

Because, you know,
your mother and I were talking,

and there's a lot of
very interesting possibilities

- in park city.
- Some really cute men too.

Very outdoorsy. You like that.

You know you can
accomplish anything

if you just put your mind to it.

Remember how driven she was,
even as a little girl?

Remember that time on tv
she saw that guy

pull the tablecloth
off the table

without spilling anything?
Do you remember that?

- Yes, she was so determined.
- She practiced and practiced.

She dressed up like a magician.
She had the hat...

I know, and she actually
pulled the trick off.

She was so proud of herself.

You know, sweetheart,
I have a friend, bill,

who runs a realty business.

Maybe there might be something
in that for you.

Are you listening to us?

You did a good job.

I've held a lot of babies
since jay was born...

But doing it like this
with everyone around...

Everyone there
for the little baby...

I don't know.

I'm never gonna be jay's mom,
but maybe someday

I could at least
be someone in the room.

Do you remember in that glacier

when you first found out
who I was?

- Yeah.
- How could I forget?

I was elbow deep
in your chest cavity.

I told you not to feel guilty

about giving jay up for adoption

because we send our offspring
into the great ice wind desert.

I think I understand now

why you feel guilty.

Children.

Generation to generation,

the earth's troubles
are passed on to them.

Babies on my planet
are self-sufficient

and can survive
on instinct alone.

Human children learn everything

from the humans around them.

Without nurturing parents
to guide them,

those children become lost.

Without a community to help,

humans end up alone...

with nobody to turn to
when they're in trouble.

But there is still hope.

There are some
who can find their strength.

When people experience
a loss of time,

their friends tell them
it's normal,

it's not a big deal,
when in fact it's often

because they've been abducted
by aliens.

I discovered
there are some humans

who are taught
how precious the earth is.

It is not enough to save them.

But if they can't, who will?

I think we may have
gotten off on the wrong foot.

What do you know
about lighthouses, ethan?

I did a work-study one summer
at a lighthouse

off the coast of portugal.
It was breathtaking.

They're symbols of guidance,
of strength, of truth.

That's what I am interested in,
the truth.

I know it hasn't been
very comfortable,

but we've done everything
above board because, in part,

I have a lot of reverence
for your kind.

Mid-westerners?

You're very likable, ethan.

Show me your true form.

- You're looking at it.
- I know the truth.

My father and I, we saw
your kind at the lighthouse,

and everyone made him feel
like he was crazy.

And so he took his own light
out of this world.

But I evolved.
We evolve through pain.

I thought that would
make you change.

My hand.

You're a doctor. Fix it.

- What is it?
- We just picked up a signal.

Lines of encrypted code,
but the signature is alien.

- Ah, shut it off.
- Shut it off.

Ah, just woke me up
from the best dream.

I was having a threesome
with a starfish

and a little neck clam.

It's receiving a signal...

in my language.

- Seriously?
- W-what does it say?

It's a phone number...

From new york city.