All language subtitles for Quark s01e05 Goodbye Polumbus.eng

Quark: Hi. Alien: [Mumbles]

Quark: Yes, I'm commander quark.

Alien: [Mumbles]

Quark: You're Freddy estrow?

Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: Of course I
remember your dad.

I babysat for you when
you were 12-feet tall.

But that was a long time ago.

[Clicks tongue] My goodness.
You've really shortened well.

Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: I'll bet you
hear that all the time.

How old are you now?

Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: 13 years old.

And you're just
out of the cadets,

and you're gonna get
your first assignment, huh?

- [Mumbles]
- There's nothing to worry about.

Good morning, commander Walker.

You're just in time
for the briefing.

Walker: The time
for the briefing, sir,

is zero niner four two exactly.

Quark: Don't let
Walker scare you.

Palindrome: Commanders,
you may enter.

Quark: Excuse me.

Don't slouch. I
have this theory.

In facing the head, it
depends on how you stand.

If he senses any weakness,

he won't give you
a good assignment.

Walker: Knock it off, quark.

Quark: Nobody likes you, Walker.

Palindrome: Well,
commanders, let's see what

the head has in store
for us today, shall we?

Head: Commander
Walker. Walker: Yes, sir.

Head: You will be
my representative

at the ambrosia
tasting festival.

I'd go myself, but ambrosia
goes straight to my head.

Walker: Yes, sir.
It will be done, sir.

[Beeping]

Quark: Stand up straight.
Head: Commander estrow...

As you know, space
is the final frontier.

Yours is a 5-day mission to
explore strange new worlds

and seek out new civilizations.

Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: Not bad to go exploring
on your very first assignment.

Head: And, quark... Quark: Yeah?

Head: We have reason to
believe that the dreaded gorgons

are behind a dastardly plot
concerning the planet polumbus.

Your mission is to
determine why no person

has ever returned
from polumbus alive.

It's a task you
could call suicidal.

Quark: Suicidal?
Head: Good luck.

The galaxy ad infinitum.

Quark: Palindrome!

[Beeping]

Oh, dink, let me
help you with that.

Sorry, quark.

Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: No, I don't
mind suicide missions.

Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: You did well, Fred.

Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: No, your
posture was very good.

Say hi to your dad.
Freddy: [Mumbles]

Quark: Get
together if i'm alive.

That's cute, Fred. Cute.

Why me?

Palindrome: Because you're
the best, quark, that's why.

Quark: If I'm the best, why am I
still shooting around the galaxy

in a used garbage ship?

Why don't I have
the best star ship?

Palindrome: There
are some missions

for which a star ship
will be too obvious,

too fast, too powerful.

But who would suspect
an out-of-date garbage scow

with obsolete weapons
and a crew that is...

How should I put it... unique?

Quark: Palindrome, 8 commanders

have been sent to
investigate polumbus.

All of them have
mysteriously disappeared,

vanished right
out of the galaxy.

Palindrome: Do you know why
those 8 others never returned?

Bad attitude.

Quark: Palindrome, please.

Palindrome: No, I'm
not kidding, quark.

I'm absolutely serious.
It's a question of attitude.

Oh, sure we've all
heard the same stories,

black holes, space
warps, anti-universes.

- Anti-universes?
- There you go again, quark.

Watch that negative attitude.

Quark: Palindrome,
we've got to have a talk.

Palindrome: No time
to talk now, quark.

No time to chat.

Now, here is your
polumbus navigational plan.

Now, I want you to return that
cassette when you get back.

It's the last one we have.

Quark: Can you at
least give me a clue

why no one has
ever come back alive?

Palindrome: We don't know.

No one's ever
come back to tell us.

Quark: So what makes
you sure that I'll come back?

Palindrome: Quark,
would I ask you to return

my only copy of this cassette

if I didn't think you'd
be coming back?

Quark: Well... No. I guess not.

Palindrome: Of course not.

Dink: [Beeping]

Palindrome: Oh,
dink, how's our supply

of polumbus
navigational cassettes?

Dink: [Beeping]
Palindrome: That many?

Oh, we're in great shape.

Quark: Star note. We
are now orbiting polumbus,

a planet nobody has
ever returned from.

It could be very
crowded down there.

According to
statistical analysis,

the odds against any
of us leaving the surface

of polumbus alive
are a thousand to one.

Gene: Those odds are good
enough for me, commander. I'm ready.

Quark: Gene, you can
best serve the mission

and the confederation
by staying aboard.

I want you to ready
the ship for an escape

at a moment's notice.
Gene: But, commander...

Andy: Face it, space head.

The commander's afraid
you'll get him killed down there.

Just a little robot joke.

Quark: This is a
suicide mission.

I can't order any of
you to come with me.

I can only ask for volunteers.

Ficus: As a vegeton,
death holds no threat to me.

I don't know the
meaning of the word "fear."

Andy: Ask me. I'll explain it.

Bettys: We'll go, Adam.

Betty: To die would
be so romantic.

I'd do anything for the
chance to die with you, Adam.

Quark: Thank you both,

but hopefully it won't
be that romantic.

Gene: Ah, commander,
this just isn't fair.

We finally get a good
suicide mission, and I got to

hang up here with this
little cowardly hunk of metal.

Andy: I'm not offended.
Cowards live longer.

Quark: Gene, you'll do as I say.

Gene: Don't do this
to me, commander.

I need action.

Knowing that you
guys are down there,

being up here, I'm
telling you, I'll go crazy.

Quark: You'll be fine, gene.

Gene: [Sighs] I guess
I will, commander.

I'll just catch up
on my letter writing

and do my nails.

Quark: That's fine, gene.

All right, are we ready?

Bettys.

Bettys: We'd follow you
to the ends of the universe.

Andy: I would follow
you to the door.

Quark: Prepare
to transport down.

Gene, transport down.

Why?

Follow me.

Ficus, what was that? Ficus:
Hard to say, commander.

It only appeared
for a millisecond.

Quark: Well, take a shot at it.

Ficus: Taking a shot at
it, I'd say it was a man,

45 years of age, brown hair,

dark eyes, 6-feet
tall, 165 pounds

with a slight scar
behind the right ear.

Quark: Ficus, what is his...

Ficus: Holds the
laigron medal of honor.

- What is his...
- He graduated fifth

in his class form the academy,

and he sleeps in
a pilmar nightshirt.

Quark: What is the man's name?

Ficus: Commander, I only
saw him for a millisecond.

Betty: What should we do, Adam?

Quark: Let's find that man.

Ficus: Sir.

Quark: Now what? Ficus: Look.

Quark: Who are they, ficus?

Ficus: Hopefully they're
polumbians offering us a

rhythmic greeting.

Quark: Betty, come back.

Betty: Betty, I
feel like dancing.

Me, too, Betty.

Quark: Ficus, what's going on?

Ficus: I believe it's what
you animals call dancing.

Quark: I know that. But why?

Ficus: Perhaps the Bettys
are dancing to the beat

of a different drummer.

Quark: Ficus.

What do you make of that?

Ficus: A most
fascinating phenomenon,

but one which
leaves the mind facing

a myriad of possibilities,
alternatives, and conclusions

that are best
strictly hypothetical

with no sound basis and fact.

Quark: In other
words, you don't know.

Ficus: That's what I said.

Quark: Gene, Andy,
transport the Bettys up to

the ship immediately.

Bettys: Andy.

Andy: I'm going to the bridge.

Betty: Oh, Andy don't go.

We need you to
transport us down again.

Andy: I can't do that. The
commander would be angry.

Bettys: Not even
for me? Andy: No.

Betty: Don't I always
charge your cells, Andy?

Andy: Yes, you do that.

Betty: And don't I always
service your conductors?

Andy: I get the point.

Betty: Thanks, Andy.

Andy: They only
love me for my parts.

Ficus: Are you all right, sir?

It appears polumbus
has very unusual wildlife.

It might help to think of
familiar space creatures,

such as the deer, the
boltarian kybil, and the banshee.

Quark: Well, she's no banshee.

Ficus: Are you all right?

Quark: I'm fine.

Ficus: There he is.

Quark: Captain. Captain.

It's Adam quark. You're safe.

I've come to rescue you.

Captain: From what?

Quark: This planet.

Captain: Why?
Quark: It's my job.

Captain: Do it
someplace else, quark.

I've never been
happier in my life.

I have gazelda, the best food,
the best weather, no worries.

And I'm not the only
one. Look over there.

Recognize Dr. Pallat,
developer of the actum ray,

or frank Hoffman,

the man who discovered
the quandex galaxy.

Ficus: Sir, they were
reported lost in this area

3 star years ago.

Captain: But then we
found the limbacon.

Quark: The limbacon?
What's the limbacon?

Captain: You must
experience a limbacon, quark.

A mere mortal can never
fully convey as a power

and the majesty of the limbacon.

Ficus: If one should desire to
perform an ocular reconnaissance

of this phenomenon...
Captain: Stay on this road.

The limbacon is
in the sacred valley

just beyond the rodenberry bush.

Quark: Wait. Wait!

Ficus: Commander, be careful.

I sense that something
on this planet has the power

to cloud our minds.

Quark: Cloud our minds?

Ficus: I believe the
captain and those others

fell victim to..."E" over
"m" to the seventh power

to equal the cosine
of "y" squared.

Woman: But what
is "y" minus "t" over 7

when divided by "q" plus 7?

Ficus: 4 over "z" to the 21st.

Woman: You have a
strong grasp of familianology.

Quark: Where did she go?

I know you, don't I?

Woman: Oh.

[Beeping]

Quark: Quark here.

Gene, over radio:
Commander, it's gene.

Quark: What? I can't hear you.

Andy: He's all tied up.

Gene: Commander,
are you all right?

Quark: Couldn't be
better. Gene: Well, sir,

it seems to me that you've
forgotten your mission.

I'm coming down there.
I think you need my help.

Quark: Stay where you
are, gene. That's an order.

Woman: [Laughs]

Gene: That's disgusting.
That is really disgusting.

Look at that, will you?

Andy: Change the frequency.

There's a better
show on one niner five.

Gene: I can't believe it,

we finally get a
good suicide mission

and he's down there
doing mushy stuff.

[Laughter]

I'm gonna transport down.

Andy: Gene, many robots
would take advantage

of being left alone on a ship
and disobey their programmers,

but you can count on me.

It will be work, work, work.

I thought he'd never leave.

[Laughter]

Gene: Commander
quark, get ahold of yourself.

Andy: Inner space
operator, get me perma one

number 6-6-niner,
6 dash 1, niner-8-5.

I'd like to speak to Mandy.

Mandy: This is Mandy.

Andy: Hello,
Mandy. This is Andy.

Mandy: Hello,
Andy, this is Mandy.

Andy: The crew's running
around down on some planet.

I wish you were here.

Mandy: You don't need
me. You have the Bettys.

Andy: Don't be jealous, Mandy.

It's bad for your electrodes.

Mandy: My electrodes
are my business.

Andy: I wouldn't
have it. Any other way.

Gene: Sir.

Sir, you're obviously crazy.

I'm taking over
command of this mission.

Quark: Hello,
gene. This is gene,

gene: Ma'am. Commander,
we've got a job to do,

and you're fooling around
with a bundle of space fluff.

No offense, ma'am.

Quark: Gene is
our chief engineer.

Gene: Commander,
you're in danger.

Quark: Gene, relax.
This is a fun place.

Gene: It's cralax
warriors. Quark: Who?

Gene: They're from "zoltar
meets the cralax warriors."

Are you a zoltar fan, commander?
Quark: That's a kid's story.

Gene: Me, too. It's my favorite.

Quark: Got to reach perma one.

Maybe they can tell me about
the limbacon. Andy, come in.

Andy: Don't be silly, Mandy.
Quark: Come in, Andy.

Andy: The Bettys are only human.
What do they know about life?

Mandy: Do you mean it,
Andy? Andy: Yes, Betty.

- Betty?!
- I have made a freudian slip.

Quark: Come in, Andy.
Gene: We'll tear you apart

with our bare hands.

Quark: Gene. Come
in, Andy, please.

Andy! Gene! Andy,
come in, please.

Andy: Mandy, I have to
check in with the commander.

Please forgive me
for calling you Betty.

Mandy: Well...
Andy: Please, Betty.

Mandy: What?! Andy: Oops.

I am not on top of my game.

Ficus: "E" plus
"x" to the seventh

equals the tangent of "r."

Woman: Oh.

But only when taken
to the full magnitude

of "b" over "m."

Andy: Sex and violence,
that's all you get on this thing.

Quark: Those guys ever
run out of laser blasts?

Gene: They never did in
"zoltar meets the cralax warriors."

Palindrome: Andy, I've had
a devil of a time reaching you.

Is anything wrong?

Andy: Everything is hunky-dory.

Palindrome: I was concerned
that quark might be caught up

in whatever is on that planet

that's causing
people to disappear.

Does quark have any
idea what that might be?

Andy: The
commander's deep into it.

Palindrome: Ahh. Then you
think this whole polumbus thing

will be wrapped up shortly, huh?
Andy: You can depend on me.

Palindrome: Good. The
head will be very pleased.

Andy: Oh, my. I
could be in big trouble.

But only if the
commander survives.

Gene: Zoltar.
Quark: Oh, brother.

Zoltar: Yes, little ranger,
it's zoltar the magnificent.

Gene: Commander,
it's zoltar the magnificent.

Quark: That's not really zoltar.

Zoltar is a character
is a story cassette.

Zoltar: 25 different
story cassettes,

to be exact, with sales
well over 10 billion copies.

Quark: Terrific.
Zoltar: Second in sales

only to the earth's
Bible and "viva the fool."

Quark: I love to discuss
literature with you.

Zoltar: There is danger.

Quark: Quick, isn't he?
What's going on here?

Gene: Commander, don't
worry. Zoltar will save us.

Quark: Like he saved the aliens

in "zoltar meets
the cralax warriors"?

Gene: Well, actually, sir.
They were all wiped out.

Quark: Hold it. I'm
not putting my life

into the hands of a
character designed to appeal

to the mind of a 9-year-old.

Zoltar, lead the way.

Zoltar: We must fight them.
Quark: You must fight them.

I must reach the limbacon.

Zoltar: We must
either fight them

or give them the woman.

Quark: The woman? Gene: Yes.

That's what makes the
cralax warriors so fierce.

You see, commander,
there are no cralax women.

Woman: I love you, Adam.

Don't let them take me.

Quark: Ok, let's fight them.

Gene: Come on,
you lousy warriors.

Come and get us. What's
the matter, you guys chicken?

Come on, you red-booted
weasels. Come on.

Quark: Gene, gene,
they're already frustrated.

Don't make them mad.

Zoltar: Good, little ranger.

Gene: Hey, we make a great team.

Why don't we take on
the blowtons next, huh?

Quark: I don't believe
this. My life is a comic book.

What's happening?
They disappeared.

He's out cold.

I hit him.

What was it ficus said about

something on this planet
clouding men's minds?

Woman: Are you all right?

Quark: Yes.

Woman: What's wrong,
Adam? Quark: I do know you.

You're Diane from
my academy days.

I loved you, but I
could never get you

away from Harry lannigan.

Diane: Well, you've got me now.

Quark: This can't be.
You must be a fantasy.

That's it.

Ficus was right.

Zoltar was gene's fantasy.

That girl with the
captain was his fantasy.

And those scientists...

Now I know why they
worship the limbacon.

It makes all your
fantasies come true.

Diane: They all
found paradise here.

You can too, Adam.

Ficus: "Z" to the seventh

divided by two to the fourth

will produce a
hypamorphic barapalak.

Woman: And when
"z" is changed to "g,"

the parabala becomes a ramboid.

Quark: I must find the limbacon

or my crew could be
trapped here forever.

I have to think about my mission
and the future of the galaxy.

Diane: I love you, Adam.

Quark: This is absurd.

You're only a figment
of my imagination.

I always did have
a great imagination.

Diane: You've got the kind
of arms a girl could get lost in.

You're so masculine.
Quark: Really?

Am I the most heroic
man you've ever met?

Diane: Uh-huh. Except
for Harry lannigan.

Quark: Harry lannigan. I
can't even have a fantasy

without him coming
along to louse it up.

Diane: I'm just a reflection
of your mind, Adam.

If I say that Harry
lannigan is heroic,

it's because you think so.

Quark: I suppose you're right.

You know, you
look just as you did

when I first met you.

I wonder what happened
to the real Diane.

Diana: She married
Harry lannigan.

Betty: Hello, ficus.
How do we look?

Ficus: Light passes through
the retina to an optic nerve...

Betty: No, how does
our dancing look?

Ficus: Dancing has no vision.

Betty: We're talking about
the quality of our dancing.

What do you think?
Ficus: Oh, I misunderstood.

The quality of your dancing.

Very bad.

Bettys: Plant!

Woman: You know, I never
really wanted to be a teacher.

Ficus: "Y" over
"z" to the seventh

equals "t" over 4 to the "f."

Woman: Again.

Ficus: We haven't
even gotten to calculus.

Quark: So that's the limbacon.

Diane: You can't
destroy it, Adam.

Quark: I must.

Diane: I'll stay
with you forever.

I'll never grow old, I promise.

I'll rub your back.

I'll be awaiting
your every return.

I'll love you every
minute of the day.

Quark: I don't
want a love slave.

I want a woman who's
my intellectual equal.

Diane: You do?

Remember, I'm not
making this stuff up.

You felt something, didn't you?

Quark: It doesn't
matter what I felt.

I have a job to do.

And a man's got to do
what a man's got to do.

Diane: Oh, Adam,
you can't do it.

Oh, what will it be, Adam,

a life of eternal bliss with me

or the safety of the galaxy?

Quark: Eternal bliss?

Maybe the galaxy
could get along.

Nobody's going to
miss a few scientists.

Diane: If you pull that
trigger, you'll destroy heaven.

Quark: What am I thinking?

I must destroy the limbacon.

Diane, please
step out of the way.

Diane: Take one last look, Adam.

Quark: I hope palindrome
appreciates what I'm doing.

Hi. Diane! Diane!

Woman: Thank you, Adam quark.

Quark: Hello. There
was this girl here.

Listera: My name is listera.
I'm queen of the Clay people.

Quark: The Clay
people? Listera: Yes.

We are the true
inhabitants of this planet.

Quark: Uh, this girl, you didn't
happen to notice which way she...

Listera: The limbacon
was left here by the gorgons

to drain all
scientific knowledge

from the minds of those
who were trapped here.

Quark: Yeah. You
couldn't miss her.

Tall girl, dark hair,
pretty, very pretty.

Listera: For centuries, my
people have had the power

to turn fantasies into reality,

a power we used only for good.

The gorgons left the limbacon
here to control my people,

to use our power for
their own evil ends.

Quark: That doesn't
mean that you...

Listera: I'm the girl
that you knew as Diane.

Quark: Well, now I know why
everyone hates the gorgons.

Listera: You were the only
one who was ever strong enough

to destroy the limbacon.

It was your bravery that
freed me from the prison

of Diane's body.

Quark: Diane's body?

Listera: I know I
promised to go with you.

Quark: Oh, well.

We all make promises.

Listera: And I'm willing
to keep that promise.

Quark: Sometimes
in the heat of passion,

people say things.

Andy, transport me up right now.

Listera: Because of you I
know what it is to be loved.

Quark: Well, you know
how those things are.

You're all alone on
a planet. Andy, now.

Listera: Will you hate me if I
choose to stay with my people?

Quark: Hate you? You're a queen.

It would be wrong of
me to separate a queen

from her people.

Quark: Gene, the next
time I give you an order

to stay aboard, follow it.

Gene: Yes, sir. Quark:
Sorry about the punch.

Gene: I still think it was
out of line, commander.

You know how I
abhor physical violence.

Ficus: A fascinating
experience on polumbus.

Left me rather
stimulated. Quite puzzling.

Betty: Could it concern
the lady we saw you with?

Ficus: Perhaps.

Quark: The first
time can be puzzling.

I better contact perma one.

Palindrome, I did it.

I'm returning from
polumbus, and I'm alive.

Palindrome: You're
beautiful, quark.

Quark: Palindrome, I
had to destroy paradise.

Palindrome: You
destroyed paradise?

That's wonderful.
You better hurry back.

I'll have the space
medics ready.

Quark: But you don't understand.
I had to destroy my dream girl.

Palindrome: Dream
girl? Oh, hurry, quark.

The doctors will be waiting.

Quark: Palindrome?

Palindrome?

[Beep]

Good-bye, Diane.

Good-bye, polumbus.

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