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- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Being in a new relationship is great,
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00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,229
but everyone has a past.
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And back when I was young,
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00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,567
technology had a way of bringing
that past into the present.
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00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:29,196
So, after I took the kid's phone,
I turn around and said,
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"Not on my school bus."
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That is so funny!
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Big laugh for a boring story,
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followed with a little arm squeeze.
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You guys are, like, really
into each other, huh?
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Hello. Hello. Hello.
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00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:50,984
Drushi!
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00:00:51,009 --> 00:00:52,886
Oh, that's what we
called Drew in college
15
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,300
because his dorm room
always smelled like fish.
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00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:56,932
I didn't know you were coming to town.
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00:00:56,932 --> 00:00:58,559
Yeah, I convinced my attending
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00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,060
to clear my surgeries for the weekend,
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so we could check out
some wedding venues.
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00:01:01,577 --> 00:01:02,636
Mm-hmm!
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00:01:02,661 --> 00:01:04,606
Guys, I think we found
the perfect venue.
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Creation at Wicker Farm.
23
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,402
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's this gorgeous hotel
restaurant upstate.
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We're gonna spend the
weekend there, do a tasting,
26
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:14,408
and they told us we can invite
two extra people. So...
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00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,911
Yes! In! I am creating
a road trip playlist as we speak.
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Text me the route because
I want Life Is a Highway
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00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,374
to kick in the moment we pull onto...
30
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,626
an actual highway? Huh?
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We were gonna ask Sophie and Drew.
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Sophie and Drew just started dating.
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I'm not sure they're ready
for a weekend getaway.
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They've been dating for a month.
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- No, I know, I know.
- It's just that, you know, uh,
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00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,973
a weekend getaway's a big step,
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and I'm sure these two don't want
that just sprung on them like that.
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We're in!
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- Oh great!
- Good. Fantastic.
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Oh... good...
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Jesse,
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this is like a couple's thing,
you know? You're a lone wolf.
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Cool euphemism for pathetically single.
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But, actually, you're way off, okay?
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I just started seeing this
totally awesome girl named Mia.
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And I like her so much, I've even come
up with one of those cute little...
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punny... couple names for us.
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Mia and Jesse. We're Messy.
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Hello, customers!
50
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:10,714
I hope you all like beer...
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00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,467
because I forgot
what you actually ordered.
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00:02:13,842 --> 00:02:17,346
Hey, Charlie, here's a copy of
your start papers and your passport.
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00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:18,847
No idea why I photocopied it
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because you working here is,
like, completely illegal.
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Man! You've been everywhere.
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You were in Brazil six months ago?
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Yes. On a family trip.
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00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,485
I dated a Brazilian once.
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I didn't speak Portuguese,
he didn't speak English,
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00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,239
so we had to speak with our bodies,
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00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,950
and those conversations went deep.
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- Hoo-yeah!
- Another charming tale.
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00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:41,870
I do love it when you casually work
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your previous sexual exploits
into conversation. It's such fun!
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Oh, Charlie!
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First paycheck.
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00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,254
New job. New apartment.
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I'm going to throw a lavish
housewarming dinner party this weekend
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to celebrate my many accomplishments.
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Ellen.
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You can invite that
lucky lady who swiped
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your post-divorce V-card last week.
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What?
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00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,617
No, no, no. I-I'm not inviting her.
75
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:05,452
Alright, fine. Just us then.
76
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,020
Sorry to miss it. Sid and I
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00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,481
are actually taking a weekend trip
with Drew and Stacey.
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00:03:09,813 --> 00:03:11,451
Sophie.
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- Sorry.
- Oh.
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It's okay.
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00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,238
Who is Stacey?
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My ex was named Stacey.
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00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,953
Uh, we hung out with
Sid and Hannah a lot
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00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,695
when we were together, hence the mix-up.
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Oh.
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00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:27,749
Sorry. Won't happen again.
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00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,376
Already forgotten about it.
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I can't stop thinking about it!
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Like, I need to know
who this Stacey girl is,
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00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,090
but I have no idea how to find her!
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00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,675
And I found her.
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00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,552
What? How?
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00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,803
Simple. Sid is friends with Hannah,
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00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,597
so I found her account,
went to her tagged photos,
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00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:44,266
scrolled back until I found a pic
of Hannah with a Staceycakes92
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00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,977
where both S's are dollar signs.
But Staceycakes is obvi gay,
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00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:49,104
so I started looking for girls who
comment on Hannah's posts a lot,
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00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:50,397
and found a Stacey Fletcher,
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00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,649
who always says Hannah's
outfits are fire.
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00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,693
So, I clicked on her IG,
scrolled back a couple of years,
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and boomshakalakaboom.
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Sophie meet Stacey,
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00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,949
or Stacey circa two years ago
when she was dating Drew.
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00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:04,203
How many boardwalks
did they eat ice cream on?
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00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:07,497
This is not what I needed
to see right before Drew and I
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00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,790
have sex for the first time.
107
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:10,209
You haven't had sex yet?
108
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:14,922
So, that's why you nerds were so
giggly about your romantic weekend.
109
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,216
Yeah. And I like that we waited.
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00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:20,802
Plus, doing it for the first
time in a bougie-ass hotel
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is romantic as balls.
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00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:26,517
Now, I'm just gonna be comparing
myself to Stacey the whole time
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00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:29,520
and thinking about how she can
roller skate backwards in a sun dress.
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Soph, everyone has exes.
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Do not get in your head about this.
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Repeat after me.
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I... am...
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sex.
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I... am... sex.
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Louder.
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I! Am! Sex!
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I! Am! Sex!
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We get it! You're
sex! Shut the hell up!
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Voilà! A dining table.
125
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,606
Ellen, are we eating on Amazon boxes
covered in your unicorn bed sheets?
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00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:17,693
Pottery Barn Kids is way cheaper
than Pottery Barn regular.
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00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,155
Is that all the food?
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00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:23,407
Unfortunately, yes.
129
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,702
I may have overestimated how far
a bartender's paycheck would go.
130
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,037
Why didn't you just buy cheaper stuff?
131
00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:30,455
- Cheaper stuff?
- What do you want me to do,
132
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,000
serve chunks of pepper jack
and pigs in a blanket?
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00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,669
This is the first dinner
we're hosting, Ellen.
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00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,672
Tonight will set the tenor
for our entire social lives.
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00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,134
Dude, we're eating dinner
with my brother and your girlfriend
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00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:43,969
on a table made of boxes.
137
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,138
Oh my god, they're here already!
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00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:49,683
Alright, Ellen. Remember,
we are the hosts.
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If we're having fun, they're having fun.
140
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,020
Ready?
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00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,481
Hello!
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Ellen was just telling me the
most winning of anecdotes.
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Come in! Come in!
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00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,529
Uh, guys, this is Mia.
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00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,532
Mia, this is Charlie, and
this is my sister Ellen.
146
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,911
Mia. Hi.
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00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:13,081
It is so nice to meet
you. For the first time.
148
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,460
Oh, is that real leopard?
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00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:19,213
No, this is a shirt
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00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,215
with a design on it.
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00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:25,010
Still, how would you feel if I
had your skin printed on a shirt?
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00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:26,970
Mia is an activist.
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00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,764
She's really passionate
about her causes,
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00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,849
which I find to be really inspiring.
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00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,347
Mia! I would like to give you the tour.
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Uh...
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This is the living-dining-kitchen-
guest-bed-breakfast-nook-foyer-room,
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and over here is...
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00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,487
Hello, Mia.
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00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,615
Hello, woman who never
responded to my many voice texts
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after using me for sex.
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- Shh...
- Oh, it is you!
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I was drinking an iced coffee,
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and you shouted at me for using a straw
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even though it actually
was made of paper.
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Shh! Look,
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I think it would be best
if Jesse doesn't find out...
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00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,630
- we...
- Oh, I'm not comfortable lying.
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00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,590
I leave that to the politicians.
170
00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,885
Please. He's coming off
a really bad breakup.
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00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,763
If he finds out that the first girl
he's been into since his ex
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00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,515
slept with his sister...
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it'll scar him for life.
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00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,227
Plus, this is our first
social event together,
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00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,480
and a brother and sister having
shared a lover is a bit unseemly.
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00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,650
Fine. I'll keep your secret,
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00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,319
but only because I would
never want to hurt Jesse.
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You are lucky I'm an empath.
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Disaster averted. Now,
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00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:30,909
shall we give everyone their one oyster?
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Welcome to Creation at Wicker Farm.
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I'm Grant Rose.
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00:07:39,211 --> 00:07:40,249
The owner.
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00:07:40,274 --> 00:07:43,297
- Uh, yeah, no, I could tell.
- Um, I own a bar in Manhattan.
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We both have BOE... Big owner energy.
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00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,176
Creation
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is the world's first
hyper-local restaurant.
188
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,806
All of our food is
sourced from the farm,
189
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,683
but everything else you see here
190
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:58,270
was also made from materials
found on the property.
191
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:01,315
Wow! So, the-the entire building?
192
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,942
Built from cedar trees
from the forest behind us.
193
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,236
What about the host?
194
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,905
You didn't make him?
195
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,990
Actually, I did. He's my son!
196
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,867
Oh!
197
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,328
Conceived in the room
you're actually staying in.
198
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:16,705
Kinda gross.
199
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,005
This place is super romantic.
200
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,465
Hope our room has the same vibe.
201
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,718
I know it will 'cause
we're staying in it.
202
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:34,973
I am sex...
203
00:08:38,644 --> 00:08:40,312
Wait a sec.
204
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:45,025
He took Stacey here.
205
00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,863
What nerd created this devil app?
206
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:59,164
I am very excited for this risotto.
207
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:01,959
Why? You had it before?
208
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,462
- No, just hungry.
- Oh.
209
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:10,592
I only ask because I-I saw
you walk to the... bathroom,
210
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,636
and it seemed like you
really knew your way around.
211
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,888
Hm. Well, I've never been here,
212
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,975
but I'm glad to know you like
to watch me walk away.
213
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,144
I like cute butts, and I cannot lie.
214
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:27,860
Sid, I am definitely
picking up on your BOE.
215
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:30,362
Oh my god, BOE is happening...
216
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:34,032
What made you decide
to open your own place?
217
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,785
Well, I grew up in India,
and like all good Indians,
218
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,537
my dad and I spent
our afternoons watching
219
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:39,830
movies about New York City.
220
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:57,097
So, my family moved to New York,
221
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,640
I studied hard, got into med school.
222
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,143
That's where Hannah and I met.
223
00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,519
She was born to be a doctor.
224
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,521
Me?
225
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,106
Not so much.
226
00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:10,694
But, I did love the bar where I
spent hours and hours studying,
227
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,654
and I loved the man who owned it.
228
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,615
Archie.
229
00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,158
And then one day...
230
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:19,203
Archie passed away,
231
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:22,206
and suddenly, what I had
to do was crystal clear.
232
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:24,917
So, I took out a loan
and bought the bar.
233
00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,377
It was a big swing, but
felt like the right decision
234
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,587
And, uh,
235
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,506
Hannah supported me the entire time.
236
00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:32,007
Hm. Of course I did.
237
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,259
Wow, what an incredible story.
238
00:10:34,259 --> 00:10:35,636
And equally incredible,
239
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,513
our lobster risotto...
240
00:10:37,513 --> 00:10:39,973
with an edible fork...
241
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,683
made of focaccia.
242
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,353
Wait a second.
243
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,905
- Everything okay?
- Mm-hmm!
244
00:10:54,905 --> 00:10:56,100
BRB.
245
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,370
- I remember those sheets...
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
246
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,749
Everyone, please pluck one leaf
247
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:07,876
and pass it to the left.
248
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:11,255
So, a pluck...
249
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,006
and pass. Give it a go.
250
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,343
I tell you, I do feel
sorry for Sophie and Sid.
251
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,303
They are missing the
party of the century.
252
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,389
I said one leaf, Mia.
253
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,016
I hope Sophie's doing okay.
254
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,103
She was really in her head
about Drew's ex before she left.
255
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,355
I wish she was more... Zen.
256
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,607
Like Charlie. He doesn't care
at all when I talk about my exes.
257
00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:33,110
No, not at all.
258
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:36,113
Now, is anyone following
the Polo Premier League?
259
00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:38,365
My relationship history is an open book.
260
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,200
Books, actually.
261
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,744
And it's a long one.
262
00:11:42,744 --> 00:11:44,621
Actually, Valentina, I hate it, alright?
263
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,706
Really? Why?
264
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,166
I wouldn't care if you talked
about your exes at all.
265
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:49,835
Alright, fine.
266
00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:52,546
Remember when you were
looking through my passport,
267
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:54,548
and I said I went to
Brazil on a family trip?
268
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,759
Well, I lied. I went there for a girl.
269
00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,511
Ooh...
270
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:02,514
So, you had a fling
with a woman in Brazil.
271
00:12:03,182 --> 00:12:04,892
Good for you.
272
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,436
Actually, it was a bit more than that.
273
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,064
I moved to Brazil... to be with her.
274
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,066
Ooh...
275
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,235
Oh.
276
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:19,698
So, I'm not the only woman
you've moved to another country for.
277
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,201
Cool.
278
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,286
Fun.
279
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,002
More wine, anyone?
280
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,509
Let's prove you're
lying, you lying liar.
281
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,057
Ha! I knew it.
282
00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:48,519
Of course, Stacey's handwriting's
in cursive.
283
00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:50,437
We get it. You're smart.
284
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:01,198
And that is the entire
Wikipedia entry on colonialism.
285
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,116
Wow.
286
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,618
Wow.
287
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,038
Hey, just a few of super-chill
follow-up questions
288
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,707
to that fun story you told
about the Brazilian girl...
289
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,836
Valentina, I was just proving a point
that nobody likes to hear about exes.
290
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,004
Okay? No need to dwell on it.
291
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,131
I don't care that you have exes.
292
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,426
I care that, apparently,
you moved across the world
293
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,387
- for another girl.
- Girls, okay?
294
00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:24,763
It's happened more than once.
295
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:26,765
What?!
296
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,059
Jesse?
297
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,603
I don't want our relationship to
start on a lie like theirs did.
298
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:33,438
I slept with your sister.
299
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:34,982
- What?!
- Damn it!
300
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,151
That dinner was amazing.
301
00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,487
I mean, I think we found our venue, huh?
302
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:44,658
Did you just rent a movie
without asking me which one?
303
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,209
What? I got the Eternals because your
304
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:48,370
celebrity crush is buff Kumail Nanjiani.
305
00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:50,956
Hold up.
306
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,750
You definitely have a type.
307
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:58,714
I cannot believe you just made another
decision without consulting me!
308
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,175
Okay, this is not
about the movie, is it?
309
00:14:01,550 --> 00:14:03,051
No, Sid.
310
00:14:04,178 --> 00:14:06,263
This is about you
quitting medical school,
311
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:08,557
so you could upend our lives
and buy a bar.
312
00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:12,603
I thought I was past it, but
hearing you tell that story tonight,
313
00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,605
it just brought up
all these old feelings in me.
314
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:18,775
I never would have made a decision
like that without talking to you.
315
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,862
Hannah, I'm sorry if I
hurt your feelings, but,
316
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,239
like, what's done is done.
317
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,241
"What's done is done"?
318
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,535
That's what you have to say?
319
00:14:30,329 --> 00:14:31,830
What's done is done...
320
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,791
please?
321
00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:42,299
I am gonna freshen up real
quick, so our night...
322
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,301
can begin.
323
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:49,325
That was so lame. Can I take that back?
324
00:14:49,349 --> 00:14:50,459
Uh-huh.
325
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,060
Great. See you soon.
326
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,355
You're an idiot! Be sexier.
327
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,780
Well, Drew
definitely brought Stacey here,
328
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:06,156
and he's lying to me about it.
329
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,449
Are you drunk?
330
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:11,161
The only thing I'm
drunk on is hard truth.
331
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,663
I'm sending you proof.
332
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:15,457
Did you get it?
333
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,125
Not yet.
334
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,044
Oh, no.
335
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,924
I meant to DM you, but
instead, I DMed Stacey.
336
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,093
Oh god, oh god, oh god, she's
definitely gonna reach out to Drew
337
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,135
and tell him I'm crazy!
338
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,429
Almost as crazy as someone who follows
339
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:33,141
women around the world,
like a horny Carmen San Diego!
340
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,812
So, what are you going to do about Drew?
341
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,941
Something stupid.
342
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:50,617
Hey, there...
343
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,833
Sophie? What are you doing out here?
344
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,626
I screwed up.
345
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,836
What are you doing out here?
346
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,379
I screwed up, too.
347
00:16:04,882 --> 00:16:05,883
Oh!
348
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:08,927
Ooh, seems like you screwed up more.
349
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,971
Oh, you screwed up more! Ha, ha!
350
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,643
Sorry, I'm just trying to...
351
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,228
wrap my head around this. Uh...
352
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:21,106
when exactly did the two
of you sleep together?
353
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:24,193
Monday night. When did you guys meet?
354
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:27,321
Tuesday morning.
355
00:16:29,323 --> 00:16:31,825
I met her at a coffee shop
on my way to your place.
356
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,078
Hi.
357
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,289
Hi.
358
00:16:37,289 --> 00:16:39,541
Okay, that timeline is, uh...
359
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:41,710
chill.
360
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:45,547
You know what, I'm not gonna
let a... quirky coincidence
361
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,591
stand in the way of
me and my relationship.
362
00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:49,593
Wow, you must be amazing in bed.
363
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:51,512
- She's just okay.
- I haven't actually slept with her yet.
364
00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:52,554
Oh my god!
365
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,265
So...
366
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:58,185
let's do a deep dive here
on the old passport.
367
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,896
I say a country, you
say why you went there.
368
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:02,439
- Portugal.
- Girl.
369
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,107
- Spain.
- Tapas.
370
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,360
It was a girl.
371
00:17:07,528 --> 00:17:08,987
Hey, what's your Wi-Fi?
372
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,698
I need to tweet a bomb
threat to Panera Bread
373
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,368
for their appropriation of poppy seeds.
374
00:17:15,077 --> 00:17:16,870
How do you appropriate a seed?
375
00:17:17,246 --> 00:17:19,331
Oh, if you don't know,
you're part of the problem.
376
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:22,334
- I can't do this anymore.
- Mia, you are the worst.
377
00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,921
Finally! How did you not see it earlier?
378
00:17:25,921 --> 00:17:28,048
- I saw it!
- I'm just trying to power through
379
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,758
'cause I'm so sick of being single!
380
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:32,719
It should be me at that dinner tonight.
381
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,057
Because you miss hanging
out with Sid and Hannah,
382
00:17:37,057 --> 00:17:39,518
or because you wanna be with Sophie?
383
00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,395
What?
384
00:17:41,395 --> 00:17:43,480
The first one, obviously.
385
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:47,276
I don't know who any
of those people are. I'm outtie.
386
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,946
- I'm gonna go, too, Charlie.
- Look, please don't leave like this.
387
00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:54,241
Look, I-I swear you're not
just part of some pattern.
388
00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:56,646
Alright, this time, it really is diff...
389
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:57,765
I don't believe you.
390
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:06,795
What am I gonna do?
391
00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,840
I need to get into Drew's
phone to delete Stacey's texts
392
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,259
before he sees them and
realizes I did something crazy!
393
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,343
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
394
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:15,095
- What just happened?
- Hm.
395
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,181
Why did the texts disappear?
396
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:19,683
Yeah, Drew probably
read them on his laptop.
397
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:23,937
This is so unfair!
398
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:25,689
He's the one who lied about being here,
399
00:18:25,689 --> 00:18:28,775
and now, I look like the psycho.
400
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,319
Okay, Sophie...
401
00:18:30,903 --> 00:18:33,113
I don't know exactly what's
going on with you and Drew,
402
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,365
but you don't need to
worry about Stacey.
403
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,243
Stacey's just an ex. Everyone has an ex.
404
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:39,661
Not me.
405
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:44,541
I mean, I've dated a ton of guys,
406
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,752
but I've never...
407
00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:49,254
actually been in a serious relationship.
408
00:18:50,005 --> 00:18:52,424
It always fizzles out
before it gets to that point.
409
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,719
Well, at least you don't
steamroll your partner
410
00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:58,555
by making major life decisions
without consulting her.
411
00:19:00,641 --> 00:19:02,543
Is that why you're out here, buying an
412
00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:03,977
apology Kit Kat from
the vending machine?
413
00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:05,896
Guilty.
414
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,774
Yeah, apparently Hannah
hasn't forgiven me
415
00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:12,069
for derailing our life plan by
buying a bar without asking her.
416
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:18,992
Why didn't you? Ask her?
417
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:21,537
I don't know.
418
00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:25,374
I spent the first 27 years of my life
trying to make my parents happy.
419
00:19:25,374 --> 00:19:27,334
Then I met Hannah, I wanted
to make her happy, too.
420
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,127
And with the bar, I just
finally wanted to do something
421
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,712
that would make me happy.
422
00:19:31,672 --> 00:19:34,216
And I knew if I didn't just, like,
propel my body to that bank
423
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,677
and apply for that loan,
I'd end up chickening out.
424
00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:38,053
You know?
425
00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:44,601
Do you think if you had
asked Hannah first,
426
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,478
that she wouldn't have supported you?
427
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,980
Ah, she would have.
428
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:52,401
Definitely would have. Messed up.
429
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:58,115
Hey, I know it's super scary to go
all-in on a relationship.
430
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:00,826
And, from what I know
about your childhood,
431
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:04,079
you probably feel like the rug could be
ripped out from under you at any second.
432
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:06,540
Yeah.
433
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:08,876
I do.
434
00:20:10,294 --> 00:20:12,838
But, if it's the right person...
435
00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,509
things can work out.
436
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:21,180
I promise.
437
00:20:23,891 --> 00:20:26,310
- Let's go talk to our people.
- Mm-hmm.
438
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,397
Hey! Hey, now!
439
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:33,066
You're seriously gonna go back there
without a peace offering Kit Kat?
440
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:37,905
You really haven't
been in a relationship.
441
00:20:44,328 --> 00:20:45,579
Listen.
442
00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:48,040
I have known for a very long time
443
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,918
that I've had to escape
from my petty, stifling family.
444
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:53,754
And, yes, I have often
followed women across the world
445
00:20:53,754 --> 00:20:55,005
as a way of doing that.
446
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:58,258
But it's never felt right.
447
00:20:59,051 --> 00:21:00,052
Until now.
448
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:03,222
And I've figured out how
I'm gonna prove it to you.
449
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:05,974
What are you doing?!
450
00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:09,228
I'm proving to you that you
are not just part of some pattern.
451
00:21:10,145 --> 00:21:11,897
I'm not going anywhere, Valentina.
452
00:21:11,897 --> 00:21:14,066
Oh my god, this is really hot!
453
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:19,279
What the hell is your
passport made out of?!
454
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,657
I soaked it in lighter
fluid on the way over.
455
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,283
I was going for high drama!
456
00:21:29,039 --> 00:21:30,290
That was... sweet.
457
00:21:32,459 --> 00:21:34,127
Look, just so you know,
458
00:21:34,127 --> 00:21:37,005
I wouldn't usually spiral
in such a lame basic way
459
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:39,424
about you having exes. There were...
460
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,635
extenuating circumstances.
461
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:44,763
What were they?
462
00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:50,435
I...
463
00:21:52,771 --> 00:21:54,773
... love you.
464
00:21:58,777 --> 00:21:59,820
I love you, too.
465
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,377
From now on,
466
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,754
I want you to be a part of
every big life decision I make
467
00:22:17,754 --> 00:22:20,215
until we die together at 98.
468
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:21,717
Mid-penetrayshe.
469
00:22:23,260 --> 00:22:24,261
Thank you.
470
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:28,307
But you know, I don't
wanna die mid-penetrayshe.
471
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:32,728
I want us to die drinking
Cadillac margaritas
472
00:22:32,728 --> 00:22:36,648
on safari because our IRAs
are so well-funded.
473
00:22:39,526 --> 00:22:41,278
Well,
474
00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:43,280
both of those things can be true.
475
00:22:44,323 --> 00:22:47,034
Man, we are gonna ruin
so many people's safari.
476
00:22:57,419 --> 00:22:58,462
I'm sorry.
477
00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:02,090
Me first.
478
00:23:04,426 --> 00:23:06,345
I'm sorry I stole your phone
479
00:23:07,888 --> 00:23:09,973
and called your ex a bitch.
480
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:13,143
And I'm sorry for lying
to you about having been here.
481
00:23:14,228 --> 00:23:16,438
I just didn't want to explain
how I got into, like,
482
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:19,775
a huge blowout fight
with Stacey at the same place
483
00:23:19,775 --> 00:23:21,735
we're having a romantic weekend.
484
00:23:22,486 --> 00:23:24,488
According to the Gram,
485
00:23:24,488 --> 00:23:26,323
and the guest book,
486
00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:28,575
you guys had the best
night of your lives.
487
00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:31,787
You even did that thing where you
touch index fingers with your thumb,
488
00:23:31,787 --> 00:23:33,497
so you can make a heart.
489
00:23:34,081 --> 00:23:37,376
That's hard to do. My god, do
I have early-onset arthritis?
490
00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,088
Can I show you something?
491
00:23:45,801 --> 00:23:47,594
Zoom in on her sunglasses.
492
00:23:55,644 --> 00:23:58,480
Yeah, we got into a huge fight at dinner
493
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,440
about how 90% of our relationship
494
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,484
was spent posing for photos.
495
00:24:02,985 --> 00:24:04,528
It was the worst trip ever,
496
00:24:04,528 --> 00:24:06,864
and I went to Fyre Festival.
497
00:24:06,864 --> 00:24:08,282
Stupid Ja Rule.
498
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:15,914
Well, I know how we can turn this place
499
00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:18,333
from a bad memory into a good one.
500
00:24:25,883 --> 00:24:28,468
And right there,
in that hotel room, he...
501
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:29,845
- Mom!
- What?
502
00:24:29,845 --> 00:24:31,120
Can you please not
503
00:24:31,144 --> 00:24:33,265
graphically describe
your sex life to me?
504
00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:34,474
Prude!
505
00:24:34,499 --> 00:24:37,913
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