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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:57,902 --> 00:01:58,735 No. 2 00:02:05,176 --> 00:02:06,811 Get your face up! 3 00:02:06,844 --> 00:02:07,812 - Leave her alone, man. - Chad. 4 00:02:08,511 --> 00:02:09,080 Chad! 5 00:02:10,513 --> 00:02:11,648 - Hmm. - No! 6 00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:12,449 Bingo! 7 00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:13,818 No, no, not... 8 00:02:15,452 --> 00:02:16,787 Would somebody help me, please? 9 00:02:16,821 --> 00:02:17,554 Help! 10 00:02:17,587 --> 00:02:18,956 Help, help, help, please! 11 00:02:20,124 --> 00:02:21,959 - Please! - Dude took Summer. 12 00:02:21,993 --> 00:02:23,426 Oh, that's a shame, man. 13 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:24,661 I mean she wasn't really gonna fuck you anyway. 14 00:02:24,694 --> 00:02:25,329 Wait! 15 00:02:25,363 --> 00:02:26,330 We... we gotta do something! 16 00:02:26,364 --> 00:02:27,731 - Do what? Man has a fucking gun! - I can't sit... 17 00:02:27,765 --> 00:02:29,767 That is a weapon, he will kill us. 18 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,601 - Do you want to die, Neil? - No, I don't want to die. 19 00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:33,104 Do you want to die a virgin, Neil? I don't. 20 00:02:33,137 --> 00:02:34,972 I mean, I'm not saying I'm a virgin, I'm just saying... 21 00:02:35,006 --> 00:02:36,073 Okay, look, I've got to do something. 22 00:02:36,107 --> 00:02:38,175 But, like, Summer doesn't even know you exist, man. 23 00:02:38,209 --> 00:02:39,576 - Don't be a hero. - No. 24 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,212 No, no. 25 00:02:43,613 --> 00:02:44,481 Shit! 26 00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:51,188 Rest in peace, Mr. Lincoln. 27 00:02:51,222 --> 00:02:53,723 You're a kind man and a damn good bus driver. 28 00:03:00,998 --> 00:03:02,233 You just drive over Mr. Lincoln? 29 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,467 Ah, there's a chance, yeah. 30 00:03:07,805 --> 00:03:09,807 Alright, quick, grab me some Coke and some Mentos. 31 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:10,674 What the fuck? 32 00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:11,275 Where am I supposed to get that from? 33 00:03:11,309 --> 00:03:13,144 I don't know, just do it! 34 00:03:13,177 --> 00:03:14,444 Shit! 35 00:03:16,579 --> 00:03:17,014 Here. 36 00:03:17,048 --> 00:03:17,949 Nice! 37 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,218 Shit! 38 00:03:21,252 --> 00:03:22,219 Alright, grab the wheel, grab the wheel! 39 00:03:22,253 --> 00:03:23,788 Fuck, no! I'm not grabbing the fucking wheel! 40 00:03:23,821 --> 00:03:24,587 Yeah, you're gonna grab the wheel. 41 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:25,923 I need to get closer to the van. 42 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,194 Get me closer. 43 00:03:30,227 --> 00:03:31,796 I'm going! 44 00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:35,833 Out of the way! 45 00:03:41,906 --> 00:03:43,240 Oh, fuck! 46 00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:00,257 Oh, fuck! 47 00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,058 What the fuck, Neil! 48 00:04:01,092 --> 00:04:02,059 Are you fucking crazy? 49 00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:08,232 Fuck! 50 00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:19,810 Fuck! 51 00:04:22,113 --> 00:04:22,780 Shit! 52 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,431 Please be okay. 53 00:04:40,464 --> 00:04:42,800 I just don't have time to look for a new best friend right now. 54 00:04:53,844 --> 00:04:54,812 You're a hero! 55 00:04:54,845 --> 00:04:57,181 Yeah, that's my best mother fuckin' friend! 56 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,282 Way to go, bro! 57 00:05:00,284 --> 00:05:01,285 You're the man, Neil! 58 00:05:01,318 --> 00:05:03,720 You saved me, Neil. 59 00:05:03,754 --> 00:05:05,056 You know my name. 60 00:05:05,089 --> 00:05:06,123 Of course, I do. 61 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:10,094 I've had my eye on you for a while. 62 00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:12,595 You give me butterflies. 63 00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:14,031 - Really? - Yeah. 64 00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:15,598 - Me? - You. 65 00:05:19,103 --> 00:05:21,338 Now kiss me... 66 00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:24,141 ...and... 67 00:05:24,175 --> 00:05:26,043 ...and simultaneously finger me. 68 00:05:26,944 --> 00:05:28,345 Your wish is my command. 69 00:05:29,814 --> 00:05:30,848 Perfect! 70 00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,235 Can you please fucking knock? 71 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:51,969 Jesus! 72 00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:52,837 Relax needle dick. 73 00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:54,138 I just need to borrow your charger. 74 00:05:54,171 --> 00:05:56,173 No, you're not gonna borrow it, you're gonna fucking steal it. 75 00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:56,974 Virgin! 76 00:05:57,007 --> 00:05:58,976 Can you... you just... 77 00:05:59,009 --> 00:06:01,212 Mom, can I please get my own bathroom? 78 00:06:01,245 --> 00:06:04,081 It's like Neil's fucking cum cave in there. 79 00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,816 First day of school, are we all excited? 80 00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,351 Yeah, extremely. 81 00:06:07,384 --> 00:06:10,754 Dad, can you please fix the lock on the bathroom? 82 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,224 And Mom, Jaclyn keeps losing her chargers and stealing mine. 83 00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:15,359 I will get the door fixed today, I hope. 84 00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:15,993 Yeah. 85 00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:19,363 Oh, Mom, I'm spending the night at Madison's tonight. 86 00:06:19,396 --> 00:06:21,432 Oh, yeah, can you rephrase that as a question, please? 87 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,867 And we don't eat this as a... 88 00:06:24,368 --> 00:06:26,237 May I please sleep over at Madison's? 89 00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:27,670 You may. 90 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,142 Excuse me? 91 00:06:31,175 --> 00:06:31,976 Breakfast is served. 92 00:06:32,009 --> 00:06:33,110 Here we go, come on. 93 00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:34,845 Wait. 94 00:06:34,879 --> 00:06:36,247 Waffles again? 95 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,849 Oh, man, I've got cacao banana and saffron blueberry. 96 00:06:38,883 --> 00:06:39,716 I'm good, Dad. 97 00:06:39,749 --> 00:06:40,351 - Dad, I'm good. - Oh, they're tasty. 98 00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:41,552 Dad, Daddy, I'm good, too. 99 00:06:41,585 --> 00:06:42,253 - I don't want waffles again. - No, no, no, nobody's good. 100 00:06:42,286 --> 00:06:44,721 We're gonna sit down together 101 00:06:44,755 --> 00:06:46,223 and eat your father's delicious breakfast as a family. 102 00:06:46,257 --> 00:06:47,324 Let's go. 103 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:50,027 I mean even if it's only for five second, 104 00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:50,895 that's what we're doing. Understand? 105 00:06:50,928 --> 00:06:52,029 - Okay, Mom. - Yes. 106 00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:52,863 - Alright, alright. - Okay, good. 107 00:06:52,897 --> 00:06:54,064 Yes. 108 00:06:54,565 --> 00:06:55,966 - Here you go, dear. - Thank you. 109 00:07:04,808 --> 00:07:05,776 You know this is really nice... 110 00:07:05,809 --> 00:07:06,343 I gotta go. 111 00:07:06,377 --> 00:07:07,178 I really gotta go. 112 00:07:07,211 --> 00:07:08,078 I'm sorry, I'm gonna miss the bus. 113 00:07:08,112 --> 00:07:09,046 Do you remember where you put my bike? 114 00:07:09,079 --> 00:07:11,115 - I stuck it in the garage... - Thank you, Dad. 115 00:07:11,148 --> 00:07:12,249 - Okay, thank you, - Love you, Mom. 116 00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:13,384 - Okay, love you guys! - Love you, too. 117 00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:16,220 I have five seconds. 118 00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:19,089 Wait! 119 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,359 You can find me, come on. 120 00:07:27,331 --> 00:07:27,932 Morning, Neil! 121 00:07:27,965 --> 00:07:29,433 Still riding the bus, huh? 122 00:07:29,466 --> 00:07:31,368 Yeah, keeping you employed, Mr. Lincoln. 123 00:07:34,305 --> 00:07:37,141 Looks good, can I have some? 124 00:07:37,174 --> 00:07:39,009 Um, alright. 125 00:07:40,177 --> 00:07:41,178 I guess. 126 00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:00,331 Hey! 127 00:08:17,047 --> 00:08:19,049 Thank you. Bye, sweetie. 128 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:19,984 Oh, my God. 129 00:08:20,017 --> 00:08:21,285 It's gonna be amazing. 130 00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:22,653 I know. 131 00:08:27,157 --> 00:08:29,560 Remember it is your senior year, 132 00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:33,297 so we are helping raise money for the Shape-A-Wish Foundation. 133 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:36,533 Please speak to me if you would like to make a contribution 134 00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:38,736 or raise your hand if you have any questions. 135 00:08:42,072 --> 00:08:43,974 Love the enthusiasm. 136 00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:45,409 Just a dying child. 137 00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,846 I'd say one thing I'd wish for is for high school 138 00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:51,015 to finally be over. 139 00:08:51,048 --> 00:08:53,550 Yeah, you should make the wish at eleven-eleven, 140 00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:55,286 save us all from this misery. 141 00:08:55,319 --> 00:08:57,354 Ionic bonds are the kind of bond, 142 00:08:57,388 --> 00:08:58,489 the kind of chemical bond... 143 00:08:58,522 --> 00:09:01,091 Why would I waste my time doing that? 144 00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,126 Why not? 145 00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:04,228 I know this kid in, uh, Cambodia. 146 00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:05,296 He actually wished for his village to have 147 00:09:05,329 --> 00:09:06,830 clean drinking water. 148 00:09:06,864 --> 00:09:07,865 It came true. 149 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,869 So if anyone makes a wish at eleven-eleven, 150 00:09:11,902 --> 00:09:13,504 it just comes true... 151 00:09:13,537 --> 00:09:15,039 What the hell are we all still doing here? 152 00:09:15,072 --> 00:09:18,275 Well, maybe some of us are here to learn, Neil. 153 00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:19,943 Are you getting something from this? 154 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,412 Covalent bonds, 155 00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:23,347 you don't have to worry about using your math skills. 156 00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:24,481 There is a catch, though. 157 00:09:24,515 --> 00:09:25,883 What? 158 00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:27,017 The universe has to agree with your wish. 159 00:09:27,051 --> 00:09:28,886 Something that only lasts for about twenty-four hours. 160 00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:31,255 Everything resets the very next night at eleven-eleven. 161 00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:33,924 Complex acids are the ones you want to stay away from. 162 00:09:33,957 --> 00:09:36,327 Those are the ones that are going to burn your face off. 163 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,061 Look it up, man. 164 00:09:37,094 --> 00:09:38,095 Google don't lie. 165 00:09:38,128 --> 00:09:39,096 Binary acid... 166 00:09:40,397 --> 00:09:41,432 Sorry I'm late. 167 00:09:41,465 --> 00:09:42,333 Thank you, Summer. 168 00:09:42,366 --> 00:09:43,467 Back there, please. 169 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,436 Combined together, 170 00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:49,306 they are dangerous and they smell really bad. 171 00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,642 So you guys are both invited to my birthday party tomorrow. 172 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,277 - Awesome, you look nice. - Thanks. 173 00:09:55,245 --> 00:09:57,915 ...on page 340, we'll be looking at the evolution... 174 00:10:05,989 --> 00:10:07,558 - 'Sup, guys. - What's up? 175 00:10:07,591 --> 00:10:09,426 Yo. 176 00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,662 So did you hear your girl Summer is having a party this weekend? 177 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,897 - Everyone's talking about it. - Mm-hmm. 178 00:10:13,931 --> 00:10:14,631 Hey, Madison. 179 00:10:15,132 --> 00:10:17,334 - Hi. - How you doing? 180 00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:21,071 I might have heard something about that, yeah. 181 00:10:21,105 --> 00:10:22,339 So are you gonna go? 182 00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,475 Not invited... yet. 183 00:10:24,508 --> 00:10:25,509 Yeah. 184 00:10:26,377 --> 00:10:27,578 Why don't you just ask, 185 00:10:27,611 --> 00:10:30,080 because I did and I got a pineapple. 186 00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:32,649 I'll think about it. 187 00:10:32,683 --> 00:10:34,518 Neil, she might actually like you. 188 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,519 But how would you know? 189 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,187 You've literally never talked to her before 190 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:40,023 or made any contact whatsoever. 191 00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,192 What's the worst you think could happen? 192 00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,027 That's actually really good advice. 193 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,396 I'm gonna take your advice. 194 00:10:45,429 --> 00:10:48,031 Maddy, would you like to my girl for cuffing season? 195 00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,199 You wish. 196 00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:50,467 Yeah, she wants me. 197 00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:51,735 Oh, my God. 198 00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:54,605 You know I hate to agree with Jaclyn, but she's right, man. 199 00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:55,973 Just do it. 200 00:10:56,006 --> 00:10:57,141 I'm serious, just go over there and ask. 201 00:10:57,174 --> 00:10:58,075 Let's just try it, me and you. 202 00:10:58,108 --> 00:10:59,576 We've got this. 203 00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:00,944 No, I'm not gonna go over there and ask her for anything. 204 00:11:00,978 --> 00:11:01,545 Come on, man. 205 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:02,679 I'm... I'm dead serious. 206 00:11:02,713 --> 00:11:04,214 Come on, come on, Neil. 207 00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:05,616 Come on, come on, you've got to take the risk. 208 00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:07,184 No, dude, what am I gonna say to her? 209 00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:07,852 Neil, you're over thinking it. 210 00:11:07,886 --> 00:11:09,219 Just breathe, just breathe. 211 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,954 I can't, I have nothing to say. 212 00:11:10,988 --> 00:11:11,522 I think I... 213 00:11:11,555 --> 00:11:12,589 Uh, hey, Summer. 214 00:11:12,623 --> 00:11:14,224 Yes. 215 00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:15,259 Uh, my friend Neil would like to ask you a question. 216 00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,361 Okay. 217 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,098 Um, I... I was just gonna say... 218 00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:22,566 Oh, my... 219 00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:39,383 So, Ava, do you want to be my girl for cuffing season? 220 00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:53,263 I don't want to see anyone right now. 221 00:11:54,498 --> 00:11:56,467 Yeah, I know, but Gilbert's here. 222 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,535 Great, I said I don't want to see anyone right now... 223 00:11:58,569 --> 00:12:01,171 Too bad now, I'm already here. 224 00:12:01,205 --> 00:12:02,172 See ya later, guys. 225 00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:03,540 Looking good, Mrs. Tobbler. 226 00:12:03,574 --> 00:12:04,708 I don't feel like dancing. 227 00:12:11,081 --> 00:12:13,083 That's right, good dance! 228 00:12:13,116 --> 00:12:14,117 I can't do it, man. 229 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,519 I can't go back to school. 230 00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:17,287 And left. 231 00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:18,489 I need to go in like the witness protection program or something 232 00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:19,189 and get a new identify. 233 00:12:19,223 --> 00:12:20,657 I can't... I can't handle it. 234 00:12:20,691 --> 00:12:22,025 You've got this. 235 00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:23,627 Well look, as your real friend, 236 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,128 quite frankly, your only friend. 237 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,029 You're not my only friend. 238 00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:26,597 Alright now. 239 00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:27,765 Who's your other friend? 240 00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:29,099 Uh, Brad. 241 00:12:29,132 --> 00:12:30,802 - Brad from preschool? - Yeah. 242 00:12:30,835 --> 00:12:33,203 Yeah, cool, so as your only friend I'm always gonna keep it 243 00:12:33,237 --> 00:12:34,404 a hundred, man. 244 00:12:34,438 --> 00:12:36,106 I'm not gonna act like today wasn't actually rock bottom, 245 00:12:36,139 --> 00:12:37,674 which it was. 246 00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:39,209 I mean, I'm actually here on suicide watch. 247 00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:40,677 I don't want to see you hang yourself with some 248 00:12:40,711 --> 00:12:42,446 plastic bag from the ceiling fan or some shit. 249 00:12:42,479 --> 00:12:43,547 I've seen that shit on YouTube. 250 00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:44,515 That shit ain't pretty. 251 00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,049 Appreciate it. 252 00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,417 You're... you're really helping me to feel better. 253 00:12:47,451 --> 00:12:50,087 What's the one thing we learned from eighteen "Rocky" movies? 254 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:53,223 Um, Rocky never threw up on his dream girl? 255 00:12:53,257 --> 00:12:54,525 No. 256 00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:56,393 It's not about how hard you get hit. 257 00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,195 It's about how quick you get back up. 258 00:12:58,228 --> 00:13:00,798 And move, and move. 259 00:13:01,665 --> 00:13:03,200 You are excellent! 260 00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:05,369 This is too hard a hit to come back from, man. 261 00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:06,771 I'm never gonna get invited to a party now. 262 00:13:06,804 --> 00:13:08,605 No. 263 00:13:08,639 --> 00:13:10,407 I'm not gonna get invited anywhere near her ever again 264 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,108 most likely, like ever. 265 00:13:11,141 --> 00:13:12,743 Ever's a long time. Not ever. 266 00:13:12,777 --> 00:13:13,677 No, like for eternity, like ever. 267 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,078 Come on, man, no. 268 00:13:15,112 --> 00:13:16,680 No, like the afterlife and thereafter. 269 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,514 - No. - Yeah. 270 00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:18,682 - No. - Yeah. 271 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:19,516 Come on, team! 272 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:20,217 No! 273 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:20,919 That's what I'm saying, yeah. 274 00:13:20,952 --> 00:13:22,319 It can't be that bad, man. No. 275 00:13:22,352 --> 00:13:23,086 Yes, it's that bad. 276 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,288 - Yes. - No. 277 00:13:24,321 --> 00:13:25,088 - Yeah. - No. 278 00:13:25,122 --> 00:13:25,556 - Yeah. - No. 279 00:13:25,589 --> 00:13:26,223 - Yeah. - No. 280 00:13:26,256 --> 00:13:26,657 - Yeah. - No. 281 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:27,524 - Yeah. - No. 282 00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:28,559 - Yes. - Yeah, you're probably right. 283 00:13:28,592 --> 00:13:29,560 You guys should ache. 284 00:13:29,593 --> 00:13:30,260 It's bad. 285 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,169 Every time I see my neighbour, he's in a different Porsche 286 00:13:39,202 --> 00:13:40,872 with a different woman. 287 00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:42,739 That is a lot of ass for one man. 288 00:13:43,808 --> 00:13:44,308 Damn. 289 00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,746 I just can't compete with guys like Chad and Matt. 290 00:13:51,816 --> 00:13:53,183 We have different market shares. 291 00:13:53,216 --> 00:13:55,485 They... they get hot girls 292 00:13:55,519 --> 00:13:59,256 and I get passwords to Premium Pornhub. 293 00:13:59,289 --> 00:14:01,325 What you need to do is you need to stop being stingy 294 00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:03,293 and pass us some Pornhub, because I want to watch 295 00:14:03,327 --> 00:14:04,328 Premium porn, too. 296 00:14:04,361 --> 00:14:06,730 That's so surprising. 297 00:14:19,343 --> 00:14:21,111 I just wish someone thought I was cool. 298 00:14:29,386 --> 00:14:31,856 Did you ever think your life would be... would be different 299 00:14:31,889 --> 00:14:34,558 if you were... 300 00:14:34,591 --> 00:14:37,461 ...Bill Gates' or Steve Jobs' son, 301 00:14:37,494 --> 00:14:39,596 like, someone that mattered in the universe or... 302 00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:40,932 or actually did cool shit. 303 00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:41,833 Th... that's your problem. 304 00:14:41,866 --> 00:14:43,768 It's not always about the money, Neil. 305 00:14:46,403 --> 00:14:47,772 Although, 306 00:14:47,805 --> 00:14:49,774 if we're talking about it, 307 00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,508 I would like to be Elon Musk's son. 308 00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:52,944 That's what I'm saying. 309 00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:54,544 I'd even suck your dick if it meant I could be his son. 310 00:14:54,578 --> 00:14:56,213 Like that's my level of commitment, man. 311 00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:57,849 So you think there is an actual scenario 312 00:14:57,882 --> 00:15:00,785 where you sucking my dick will lead to Elon Musk 313 00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:02,486 being your father? 314 00:15:02,519 --> 00:15:03,387 I don't know, man. 315 00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,522 The universe works in mysterious ways. 316 00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:07,491 Never underestimate the power of a good dick suck. 317 00:15:07,524 --> 00:15:09,393 I think we both spent most of our lives thinking about 318 00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:11,561 the power of a good dick suck. 319 00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:13,397 You mean like giving one? 320 00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:15,232 'Cause that's not what I'm talking about. 321 00:15:15,265 --> 00:15:16,500 See it's not the same thing. 322 00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,502 See I don't think we're on the same page. 323 00:15:18,535 --> 00:15:21,471 No, I don't think I would know how to give one, honestly. 324 00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:26,243 My dentist says I gag too easily, anyway. 325 00:15:29,446 --> 00:15:30,815 Can I be honest with you, man? 326 00:15:32,649 --> 00:15:33,918 What's that? 327 00:15:33,951 --> 00:15:36,520 Summer and I would be lucky to suck your dick. 328 00:15:38,288 --> 00:15:39,690 I mean it. 329 00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:41,491 Thank you. 330 00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:43,727 If it were up to me, I would knight you, 331 00:15:43,761 --> 00:15:45,228 and then suck your dick. 332 00:15:46,496 --> 00:15:48,532 You know what? 333 00:15:48,565 --> 00:15:50,434 I was thinking that we'd go to this really nice 334 00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:51,368 fast food restaurant. 335 00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:52,904 - Good night. - Good night. 336 00:15:52,937 --> 00:15:54,237 You know how I like seafoods. 337 00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:26,904 Today was kind of a rough day, 338 00:16:26,938 --> 00:16:29,539 but hopefully tomorrow will be better. 339 00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:19,689 Neil, wake up! 340 00:17:20,892 --> 00:17:22,960 Neil, you're gonna be late for school! 341 00:17:25,863 --> 00:17:26,596 Neil! 342 00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,603 Yeah, you have something like truffles and fish 343 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:34,972 Hmm. 344 00:17:35,006 --> 00:17:36,941 - Uh, see ya kid. - Have a great day! 345 00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:37,975 Wait! 346 00:17:38,009 --> 00:17:38,943 Wait! 347 00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:40,978 Wait! 348 00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:42,280 Wait! 349 00:17:54,524 --> 00:17:58,095 Frienemies, who, when you're down, ain't your friend 350 00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,398 Dude, I barely slept last night. 351 00:18:01,431 --> 00:18:03,533 I feel like a dumb ass moron piece of shit loser 352 00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:04,802 who should just off himself. 353 00:18:06,804 --> 00:18:07,939 Cool story, bro. 354 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,875 Gilbert, where you going? 355 00:18:14,578 --> 00:18:15,412 What the fuck? 356 00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,734 Fuck! 357 00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:12,803 Sweet baby Jesus! 358 00:19:17,842 --> 00:19:18,876 Mm. 359 00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:27,084 Okay. 360 00:19:30,888 --> 00:19:32,622 - Hey, Neil. - Hey, man. 361 00:19:32,656 --> 00:19:33,523 Hey. 362 00:19:34,158 --> 00:19:35,226 How are you? 363 00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:36,426 Hello. 364 00:19:37,661 --> 00:19:38,561 Hey, how's it going? 365 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:39,931 Hey, man. 366 00:19:39,964 --> 00:19:41,531 What's up, guys? 367 00:19:41,564 --> 00:19:43,067 - Yo man. - Hi. 368 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,201 Hello. 369 00:19:46,037 --> 00:19:47,872 Gilbert, 370 00:19:47,905 --> 00:19:48,873 you're never gonna believe this, 371 00:19:48,906 --> 00:19:50,540 'cause it's fucking crazy, 372 00:19:50,573 --> 00:19:52,910 but I'm Neil. 373 00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:55,146 Yeah, and I'm fucking Chris Rock, man. 374 00:19:55,179 --> 00:19:56,981 Now dude, I'm serious, I'm Neil. 375 00:19:57,014 --> 00:19:59,016 And I'm for real I'm Biggie Smalls. 376 00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:00,017 I'm not fuckin' around, Gilbert. 377 00:20:00,051 --> 00:20:01,618 I'm Neil. 378 00:20:01,651 --> 00:20:02,619 Yeah, I'm fuckin' James Brown back from the dead. 379 00:20:03,586 --> 00:20:04,088 Get the fuck outta here, man. 380 00:20:07,524 --> 00:20:10,094 I would like to knight you and then suck your dick. 381 00:20:17,268 --> 00:20:18,635 It will be my honour. 382 00:20:25,009 --> 00:20:26,978 Go ahead, ask me any question that only Neil would know 383 00:20:27,011 --> 00:20:28,012 the answer to. 384 00:20:28,045 --> 00:20:28,879 Yeah, but it wouldn't even matter... 385 00:20:28,913 --> 00:20:30,247 - 'cause you don't know shit. - I do. 386 00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:31,282 You're not gonna know any of these fuckin' answers, man. 387 00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:32,116 - I know everything about you. - Alright, fine. 388 00:20:32,149 --> 00:20:34,151 What's the all time beat off record? 389 00:20:34,185 --> 00:20:35,252 Eleven and a half times. 390 00:20:37,687 --> 00:20:38,756 Lucky guess. 391 00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:41,691 My first crush. 392 00:20:41,725 --> 00:20:42,860 Sadly, it's my mom. 393 00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:43,727 Yeah, it... it's wrong, 394 00:20:43,761 --> 00:20:44,829 because it's Neil's mom. 395 00:20:44,862 --> 00:20:45,796 That's my mom. 396 00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:46,397 Neil's mom actually wants to have a threesome 397 00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:46,964 with me and Neil's dad. 398 00:20:46,998 --> 00:20:48,698 Next fucking question. 399 00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,902 If I were to make a rap group, what would be the name of it? 400 00:20:51,936 --> 00:20:53,237 The Beverly Gil Billies. 401 00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:54,704 Name my solo artist. 402 00:20:54,738 --> 00:20:56,073 G-String Fully Unloaded. 403 00:20:56,107 --> 00:20:58,309 My favourite country to travel to. 404 00:20:58,342 --> 00:21:00,044 The Italian section of Pornhub. 405 00:21:00,077 --> 00:21:01,578 Who did I lose my virginity to? 406 00:21:03,047 --> 00:21:03,948 Neil can draw. 407 00:21:03,981 --> 00:21:05,282 Okay. 408 00:21:05,316 --> 00:21:06,616 He-he's basically like Picachio or some shit. 409 00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:07,852 Yeah, it's true, Picasso, so. 410 00:21:07,885 --> 00:21:09,020 Whatever, whatever. 411 00:21:09,053 --> 00:21:10,054 Draw me. 412 00:21:10,087 --> 00:21:11,055 What do you mean, draw you? 413 00:21:11,088 --> 00:21:12,655 Prove to me that you're Neil. 414 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:13,991 Draw me like Jack and I'll be your Rose. 415 00:21:14,025 --> 00:21:15,725 - What, like in Titanic? - Yeah, like Titanic. 416 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,161 - You've never seen Titanic. - It doesn't matter. 417 00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:17,727 I've seen her titties. 418 00:21:17,762 --> 00:21:18,728 That's all that matters. 419 00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:19,897 Okay, so you want me to paint your titties. 420 00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:21,631 - Want me to draw your titties? - If that's what it takes. 421 00:21:21,664 --> 00:21:22,732 Gilbert! 422 00:21:24,634 --> 00:21:26,937 Have you seen Neil today? 423 00:21:26,971 --> 00:21:28,139 He didn't show up at school. 424 00:21:30,607 --> 00:21:32,009 Who the fuck are you, petterass? 425 00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:36,781 This is really fuckin' weird. 426 00:21:36,814 --> 00:21:38,149 Um, don't be jealous. 427 00:21:38,182 --> 00:21:39,817 You can be next if you want to be. 428 00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:41,185 - I am not jealous. - You just gotta ask. 429 00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:42,887 Get up. 430 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,021 - What the fuck are you doing? - Leave me the fuck alone. 431 00:21:44,055 --> 00:21:45,856 You're fuckin' letting a complete stranger draw you. 432 00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:46,556 What... 433 00:21:52,763 --> 00:21:54,198 I mean it's like looking in a mirror. 434 00:21:55,698 --> 00:21:57,334 Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder, 435 00:21:57,368 --> 00:21:58,302 'cause that looks nothing like you. 436 00:21:58,335 --> 00:21:59,702 Why... why can't you just appreciate good art? 437 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:00,637 Like what... what is your problem? 438 00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:02,807 Wait, wait, we can compare the drawings. 439 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:03,974 Com... compare the drawings with... 440 00:22:04,008 --> 00:22:05,176 Yeah. 441 00:22:05,209 --> 00:22:06,243 Do you think you're on CSI or some shit? 442 00:22:06,277 --> 00:22:07,945 What the fuck is wrong with you? 443 00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,346 No, do you think that you look like a drawing or some shit? 444 00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:10,247 Um, I sure do. 445 00:22:10,281 --> 00:22:11,681 Um... 446 00:22:11,714 --> 00:22:12,383 We're not... we're not looking in my iPad. 447 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:13,417 It's just a quick scan, alright? 448 00:22:13,451 --> 00:22:14,285 - It's my brother's iPad. - Final test, I promise. 449 00:22:14,318 --> 00:22:15,419 You know I'm sensitive about my work. 450 00:22:15,453 --> 00:22:18,355 It's my brother's iPad, so I can look at it if I want. 451 00:22:18,389 --> 00:22:19,090 It's my iPad. 452 00:22:19,123 --> 00:22:20,024 Why do you...- Seriously, get... 453 00:22:20,057 --> 00:22:21,358 Oh... 454 00:22:21,392 --> 00:22:22,725 - You're not touching my iPad. - Stranger Danger! 455 00:22:23,294 --> 00:22:24,128 God! 456 00:22:24,161 --> 00:22:25,963 Fuck! 457 00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:27,198 Fine, quick scan only. 458 00:22:27,231 --> 00:22:28,299 Yep. 459 00:22:28,332 --> 00:22:30,367 - That is what I plan to do. - Jesus! 460 00:22:34,737 --> 00:22:36,073 Oh, wow, who is that? 461 00:22:37,975 --> 00:22:39,944 "The water is so nice and hot." 462 00:22:41,078 --> 00:22:42,645 - "So is my pussy." - "So is my pussy." 463 00:22:42,679 --> 00:22:43,314 Wow. 464 00:22:45,682 --> 00:22:46,951 "Take this Game of thrones!" 465 00:22:47,852 --> 00:22:50,321 "And after I want game of bones." 466 00:22:51,055 --> 00:22:51,688 The fuck? 467 00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:55,392 "I'm coming for your planet, hero!" 468 00:22:55,426 --> 00:22:57,694 "I'm gonna own your face dickhead." 469 00:22:57,727 --> 00:23:00,197 "Hope your dickhead owns my face, Neil." 470 00:23:00,231 --> 00:23:01,232 Creative. 471 00:23:01,731 --> 00:23:03,300 - "Be careful with my pussy." - That's cute. 472 00:23:05,302 --> 00:23:07,371 Doesn't that kind of look like... 473 00:23:07,404 --> 00:23:08,939 Fuck, it does. 474 00:23:12,943 --> 00:23:14,145 Do you believe me? 475 00:23:14,178 --> 00:23:15,846 Are we on the same page? 476 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,181 Can you help me out? 477 00:23:17,948 --> 00:23:19,850 Alright, just making an Insta profile for you, man. 478 00:23:19,884 --> 00:23:21,752 We've got to keep striking while the iron is hot. 479 00:23:21,785 --> 00:23:22,820 What's your cool new name for social purposes? 480 00:23:22,853 --> 00:23:23,988 Don't say Neil. 481 00:23:24,021 --> 00:23:25,055 What's wrong with Neil? 482 00:23:25,089 --> 00:23:26,757 Well, it's nerdy. 483 00:23:26,790 --> 00:23:27,958 You know, it doesn't really fit with the image right now. 484 00:23:27,992 --> 00:23:28,893 No, it does not. 485 00:23:28,926 --> 00:23:30,027 Give me a name, I need a name. 486 00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:30,828 - Greg. - No. 487 00:23:30,861 --> 00:23:31,428 - Vincent. - No. 488 00:23:31,462 --> 00:23:32,263 - Arnold. - No. 489 00:23:32,296 --> 00:23:32,997 - Hernandez. - No. 490 00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:33,564 - Fred. - No. 491 00:23:33,597 --> 00:23:35,266 - You're Ace. - Ace. 492 00:23:35,299 --> 00:23:36,400 No, Ace is terrible. 493 00:23:36,433 --> 00:23:37,168 No, no it's not. 494 00:23:37,201 --> 00:23:39,303 Like Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. 495 00:23:39,336 --> 00:23:40,703 The greatest film of all time. 496 00:23:40,737 --> 00:23:41,939 What are you talking about? 497 00:23:41,972 --> 00:23:44,041 Listen, I'll cover for you with Mom and Dad 498 00:23:44,074 --> 00:23:45,776 until we figure out whatever the fuck is happening 499 00:23:45,809 --> 00:23:47,411 to your body. 500 00:23:47,444 --> 00:23:50,114 Well, my future girl, Ava, has a gig at the Rusty Records 501 00:23:50,147 --> 00:23:50,981 in an hour. 502 00:23:51,015 --> 00:23:51,815 Yeah. 503 00:23:51,849 --> 00:23:53,050 Stalker. 504 00:23:53,551 --> 00:23:55,452 Well, Summer will probably be there, too. 505 00:23:55,486 --> 00:23:56,253 Really? 506 00:23:56,287 --> 00:23:57,488 Mm, yeah come on, 507 00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:58,556 we've got to get you some new clothes, 508 00:23:58,589 --> 00:24:00,723 because right now you're a ten in two's clothing. 509 00:24:00,758 --> 00:24:02,459 Who do you think you are, Anna Wintour? 510 00:24:02,493 --> 00:24:03,460 Who the fuck is that? 511 00:24:07,064 --> 00:24:09,133 Yo, yo, this is your boy Gilbert and I'm here to introduce 512 00:24:09,166 --> 00:24:11,468 my new best friend, Ace, the actor, the model, 513 00:24:11,502 --> 00:24:12,503 the artist. 514 00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:14,471 Yo, Ace tell the people about it. 515 00:24:14,505 --> 00:24:16,006 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 516 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,942 Me... me and Gilbert, we've been best friends since 517 00:24:17,975 --> 00:24:19,476 forever and... 518 00:24:19,510 --> 00:24:21,045 Yeah, so what did you even wish for? 519 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,282 Second chance with Summer. 520 00:24:25,316 --> 00:24:26,951 Second chance? 521 00:24:26,984 --> 00:24:29,253 Well, what kind of soft basic shit is that? 522 00:24:29,286 --> 00:24:31,922 You guys could help yourself to some gum or water or Binaca. 523 00:24:33,357 --> 00:24:34,458 Are you famous, by the way? 524 00:24:34,491 --> 00:24:36,126 No, man. No, I'm not. 525 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,127 Yeah, yeah, I'm not talking to you, pal. 526 00:24:37,161 --> 00:24:39,163 You have the face of someone who's not famous. 527 00:24:39,196 --> 00:24:40,497 I'm talking to your hot friend over there, 528 00:24:40,531 --> 00:24:42,800 that white, steamy cream puff next to you. 529 00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:44,335 No, me? No, no. 530 00:24:44,368 --> 00:24:45,236 No, I'm not famous. 531 00:24:45,269 --> 00:24:46,537 Well, you could be. 532 00:24:46,570 --> 00:24:47,438 I'm not gay, but my girlfriend and I are looking 533 00:24:47,471 --> 00:24:48,472 for a third, so. 534 00:24:48,505 --> 00:24:49,773 Face like that... 535 00:24:50,507 --> 00:24:51,408 ...booty! 536 00:24:51,442 --> 00:24:53,811 What so, I... I don't have that look, bro? 537 00:24:53,844 --> 00:24:55,512 Yeah, you have a face, but it's like a, 538 00:24:55,546 --> 00:24:57,381 like a moon pie. 539 00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:59,049 - Now he's calling you slow. - Is he paid to be disrespectful? 540 00:25:02,186 --> 00:25:03,954 Are you two being helped? 541 00:25:03,988 --> 00:25:06,190 Uh, no, no, we're just... we're just browsing for right now 542 00:25:06,223 --> 00:25:08,359 looking for some cool tees, maybe some ripped jeans. 543 00:25:08,392 --> 00:25:10,294 Nice, nice. 544 00:25:10,327 --> 00:25:12,029 Need help being styled? 545 00:25:12,062 --> 00:25:14,131 Uh, yeah, yeah, that'd great. 546 00:25:14,164 --> 00:25:15,266 I'm... I'm super new to all this. 547 00:25:15,299 --> 00:25:17,134 Yeah? What did you just start modeling or something? 548 00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:19,003 - Uh, yeah. - Oh. 549 00:25:19,036 --> 00:25:20,104 Yeah, but we're, uh, trying to change this into acting 'cause 550 00:25:20,137 --> 00:25:22,406 our fan base is so up our ass about it, you know. 551 00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:23,207 Yeah, no, I bet. 552 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:23,674 Um... 553 00:25:24,408 --> 00:25:25,409 I would be, too. 554 00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:27,911 Who you with? 555 00:25:27,945 --> 00:25:30,547 Uh, well, I basically just got offered a hand job from a guy 556 00:25:30,581 --> 00:25:33,050 who sells ball trimmers outside. I wouldn't say I'm "with" him. 557 00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:34,551 Like, I mean, he's cool or whatever, 558 00:25:34,585 --> 00:25:36,220 but I don't really know him like that for him to be, you know, 559 00:25:36,253 --> 00:25:36,954 jerking me off. 560 00:25:39,290 --> 00:25:40,291 Yeah, you're funny, man. 561 00:25:40,324 --> 00:25:43,327 What is this guy, like your agent or something? 562 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:44,862 Uh, no. 563 00:25:44,895 --> 00:25:47,231 Uh, he actually, no, yeah, yeah, he's my manger. 564 00:25:47,264 --> 00:25:50,534 Um, we're shopping for an agency right now. 565 00:25:50,567 --> 00:25:52,436 You know, doing the whole Hollywood water bottle meet 566 00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:53,137 and greet thing. 567 00:25:53,170 --> 00:25:54,405 Right. 568 00:25:54,438 --> 00:25:55,339 Yeah, you know, it's such a small community. 569 00:25:55,372 --> 00:25:56,473 Yeah, no, no, I know, I know. 570 00:25:56,507 --> 00:25:58,442 I'm part of the community also. 571 00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,445 I mean, look at me, you know. 572 00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:05,616 But, uh, hey, you guys know who Victoria V is, though, right? 573 00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:09,053 Yeah, but I mean we basically share a Pilates instructor, man. 574 00:26:09,086 --> 00:26:10,020 Yeah, I love Victoria. 575 00:26:10,054 --> 00:26:11,588 She's a great gal. 576 00:26:11,622 --> 00:26:13,590 Oh, then you probably already know about her very exclusive 577 00:26:13,624 --> 00:26:16,093 party she's having at her place. 578 00:26:16,126 --> 00:26:20,564 Hot models, and, uh, look I hate to sound crass, but it's a fact, 579 00:26:20,597 --> 00:26:23,967 a lot of wild, dirty sex happening. 580 00:26:24,001 --> 00:26:26,870 The password to get in, Fuckingham Palace. 581 00:26:26,904 --> 00:26:27,971 Sold. 582 00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:29,973 Sweet! You on Insta? 583 00:26:30,007 --> 00:26:31,642 I'll tag you on the invite, put you on the guest list, 584 00:26:31,675 --> 00:26:34,445 otherwise, like, a thousand bucks per person to get in. 585 00:26:34,478 --> 00:26:35,646 Yeah, we're... we're actually about to go see 586 00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:38,215 my girl real quick, but, uh, if anything, just invite me. 587 00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:39,383 Send me the invite, too. 588 00:26:39,416 --> 00:26:40,617 You know, we'll... we'll meet up with you, 589 00:26:40,651 --> 00:26:42,353 we'll have some fun. 590 00:26:42,386 --> 00:26:43,520 - You know what I'm saying? - You can be his plus one, yeah. 591 00:26:43,554 --> 00:26:45,556 Plus...? Yeah, no, that's cool. Yeah. 592 00:26:51,295 --> 00:26:52,896 Ava, you were amazing. 593 00:26:52,930 --> 00:26:53,630 You killed it. 594 00:26:53,664 --> 00:26:54,098 - Thank you. - Beautiful. 595 00:26:54,131 --> 00:26:55,199 Yeah, for real. 596 00:26:55,232 --> 00:26:56,433 What she said, man. 597 00:26:56,467 --> 00:26:57,501 I'm gonna need some lessons from you one day. 598 00:26:57,534 --> 00:26:59,103 Alright babe, I'll see you... 599 00:26:59,136 --> 00:26:59,771 Fantastic, babe. 600 00:26:59,804 --> 00:27:01,004 - Seriously. - Thank you! 601 00:27:01,038 --> 00:27:02,473 - Good job. - Thanks. 602 00:27:02,506 --> 00:27:04,074 - Oh, you did so good! - Thank you, babe! 603 00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:07,111 Hey, great job. 604 00:27:07,144 --> 00:27:08,979 Some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard. 605 00:27:09,012 --> 00:27:10,547 Thank you. 606 00:27:10,581 --> 00:27:14,385 Oh, yeah, aren't you friends with pukey? 607 00:27:14,418 --> 00:27:16,086 Oh, you mean Neil? 608 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:17,121 I don't know his name. 609 00:27:17,154 --> 00:27:19,490 Yeah, no one, no one knows that was his name. 610 00:27:19,523 --> 00:27:20,224 Yeah, right? 611 00:27:20,257 --> 00:27:21,291 Guy was a loser. 612 00:27:21,325 --> 00:27:22,593 Good night, thanks. 613 00:27:22,626 --> 00:27:24,962 What's up? I'm, uh, I'm Chad. 614 00:27:24,995 --> 00:27:26,597 Uh, hi. Oh! 615 00:27:26,630 --> 00:27:28,632 I'm... Ace. 616 00:27:28,665 --> 00:27:30,067 Like Ace Ventura. 617 00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:32,236 Oh, yeah. I love that band. 618 00:27:32,269 --> 00:27:34,204 Are you guys, uh, are you friends with this guy? 619 00:27:34,238 --> 00:27:36,707 We're best friend, actually, so you can ease up. 620 00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:38,208 - Wait, excuse me? - What? 621 00:27:38,242 --> 00:27:39,443 - What did you say? - What did you hear? 622 00:27:41,145 --> 00:27:41,612 Alright. 623 00:27:46,483 --> 00:27:47,251 - You ready? - No. 624 00:27:47,284 --> 00:27:48,218 - You ready? - No. 625 00:27:48,252 --> 00:27:49,453 - Good luck. - Good luck. 626 00:28:05,269 --> 00:28:07,171 I'm... A... ss... 627 00:28:07,772 --> 00:28:09,339 Ass? 628 00:28:09,373 --> 00:28:11,008 Did your parents hate you or something? 629 00:28:11,041 --> 00:28:11,575 No. 630 00:28:11,608 --> 00:28:14,611 Um, sorry, sorry. 631 00:28:14,645 --> 00:28:16,013 I don't know what just happened to my brain. 632 00:28:16,046 --> 00:28:17,314 - Um. - Um. 633 00:28:17,347 --> 00:28:19,416 My name's Ace. 634 00:28:19,450 --> 00:28:20,451 Ace. 635 00:28:20,484 --> 00:28:22,319 Like the movie. 636 00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:23,654 Yeah, like the movie. 637 00:28:23,687 --> 00:28:26,023 Well, I'm Summer, like the season. 638 00:28:26,056 --> 00:28:27,391 Hi. 639 00:28:27,424 --> 00:28:29,059 - Nice to meet you. - Good to meet you, Summer. 640 00:28:29,393 --> 00:28:32,162 You know, Ava, I always thought you were cute, by the way. 641 00:28:32,196 --> 00:28:33,630 Really? Why is that? 642 00:28:33,664 --> 00:28:35,265 Well, are you a good kisser, 643 00:28:35,299 --> 00:28:36,366 because that would definitely make you cute in my book. 644 00:28:37,701 --> 00:28:39,703 Are you guys doing anything after the show or this... 645 00:28:39,736 --> 00:28:41,104 this weekend, or? 646 00:28:41,138 --> 00:28:43,574 Well, um, it's actually my birthday. 647 00:28:43,607 --> 00:28:47,077 My parents are out of town, so I'm throwing myself a party. 648 00:28:47,110 --> 00:28:47,678 - You? - Happy birthday! 649 00:28:47,711 --> 00:28:48,545 Oh, thanks. 650 00:28:48,579 --> 00:28:51,048 Um, I'm not, I'm not doing anything. 651 00:28:51,081 --> 00:28:51,682 Really? 652 00:28:51,715 --> 00:28:52,784 Nothing in particular, no. 653 00:28:52,817 --> 00:28:54,651 Hmm. 654 00:28:54,685 --> 00:28:56,220 So I was thinking about my favourite sexual positions today. 655 00:28:56,253 --> 00:28:57,321 That's too much. 656 00:28:58,489 --> 00:28:59,523 Sounds like time well spent. 657 00:28:59,556 --> 00:29:01,759 Well, you know, it's all situational for me really. 658 00:29:01,793 --> 00:29:03,527 I mean, do I have all the time in the world 659 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,295 or am I trying to get it after a bad date? 660 00:29:07,064 --> 00:29:08,432 Okay. 661 00:29:08,465 --> 00:29:10,434 If it's a bad date, why are you trying to get it in? 662 00:29:10,467 --> 00:29:12,369 Uh, 'cause my dick never has a bad date. 663 00:29:13,470 --> 00:29:15,205 Well, it was nice to meet you. 664 00:29:15,807 --> 00:29:20,744 Yeah, um, Summer, um, do you by any chance have an extra invite 665 00:29:20,778 --> 00:29:22,713 to your party this weekend? 666 00:29:22,746 --> 00:29:24,214 An invite? 667 00:29:24,248 --> 00:29:25,249 Yeah. 668 00:29:25,282 --> 00:29:30,287 Um, you... you seem cool and it would be great 669 00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,456 to stop by, right? 670 00:29:32,489 --> 00:29:35,125 Yeah, maybe. Unfortunately, we are at max capacity 671 00:29:35,158 --> 00:29:36,193 for the party. 672 00:29:36,226 --> 00:29:38,428 I could put you on a waiting list. 673 00:29:38,462 --> 00:29:40,631 Yeah, yeah, o... okay. Um, yeah, it's... 674 00:29:40,664 --> 00:29:41,665 I'm fucking with you. 675 00:29:42,432 --> 00:29:44,268 I'm sorry. 676 00:29:44,301 --> 00:29:45,402 I have one left. 677 00:29:49,339 --> 00:29:51,508 Uh, I hope to see you at my party, Ass. 678 00:29:54,111 --> 00:29:55,112 I'm a nice ass. 679 00:30:08,158 --> 00:30:09,326 - I got it! - You got it. 680 00:30:09,359 --> 00:30:10,394 - I got it! - Who got it? 681 00:30:10,427 --> 00:30:11,461 - I got it! - And I got it. 682 00:30:11,495 --> 00:30:12,429 - I got it! - We got it. 683 00:30:12,462 --> 00:30:13,530 - Who got it? - We got it. 684 00:30:13,564 --> 00:30:14,799 - We got it. - Uh-huh! 685 00:30:14,832 --> 00:30:16,533 - Oh, I got the invitation. - Yeah, that's right. 686 00:30:16,567 --> 00:30:17,634 Huh! 687 00:30:17,668 --> 00:30:18,836 - We got the invitation. - Invitation! 688 00:30:18,870 --> 00:30:19,804 Nice work my dude. 689 00:30:19,837 --> 00:30:21,338 What's your long-term plan? 690 00:30:21,371 --> 00:30:22,472 Well, that's the Uber guy right that. 691 00:30:22,506 --> 00:30:23,507 Wait, what do you mean long-term plan? 692 00:30:23,540 --> 00:30:25,342 Yes, I'm not saying I still have a lot to learn, 693 00:30:25,375 --> 00:30:26,778 but can I let you in on a little secret? 694 00:30:26,811 --> 00:30:29,580 No, because you're just gonna tell me anyway. 695 00:30:29,613 --> 00:30:30,447 Go ahead and tell me. 696 00:30:31,748 --> 00:30:33,383 Hey there, handsome. 697 00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:36,320 Look, Neil, girls want to fuck just as badly as we do. 698 00:30:37,487 --> 00:30:38,856 And you know this how? 699 00:30:38,890 --> 00:30:41,224 It's actually sexist to think some shit like that. 700 00:30:41,258 --> 00:30:42,292 Alright, sexism is a real issue. 701 00:30:42,326 --> 00:30:44,294 Okay, I consider myself to be a proud feminist. 702 00:30:44,328 --> 00:30:45,729 Good God! 703 00:30:45,763 --> 00:30:46,864 Alright, do you-are you circling the block or some shit? 704 00:30:46,898 --> 00:30:48,565 Are you stalking us? 705 00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:50,500 You got a problem with my five star Uber driving? 706 00:30:50,534 --> 00:30:52,436 No, I have a problem with your attitude. 707 00:30:52,469 --> 00:30:53,470 Can I have a private conversation 708 00:30:53,503 --> 00:30:54,271 with my friend, please? 709 00:30:54,304 --> 00:30:55,840 Yes, by all means. 710 00:30:55,873 --> 00:30:57,274 Go ahead. 711 00:30:57,307 --> 00:30:58,208 So I consider myself to be a proud feminist. 712 00:30:58,241 --> 00:30:59,576 Yeah, I know, me too. 713 00:30:59,610 --> 00:31:00,477 I love my family. 714 00:31:00,510 --> 00:31:01,645 I... I love women. 715 00:31:01,678 --> 00:31:03,146 I love girls, I respect them. 716 00:31:03,180 --> 00:31:04,849 You know I have a healthy relationship with my mom 717 00:31:04,882 --> 00:31:07,584 and my psycho sister, and sometimes I wish that 718 00:31:07,618 --> 00:31:10,654 I was a woman, so I could help fight feminism from the inside. 719 00:31:10,687 --> 00:31:13,190 Okay, did you know that woman still make seventy-seven cents 720 00:31:13,223 --> 00:31:13,690 to the man's dollar? 721 00:31:13,724 --> 00:31:14,491 Yes. 722 00:31:14,524 --> 00:31:16,193 Think about that shit. 723 00:31:16,226 --> 00:31:17,795 How would you feel being short changed by twenty-two cents? 724 00:31:17,829 --> 00:31:19,596 Twenty-three, genius. 725 00:31:19,630 --> 00:31:20,464 See, even worse. 726 00:31:20,497 --> 00:31:22,767 Be the new super cool, non-sexist dude. 727 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,002 Your wish came true, man. 728 00:31:24,035 --> 00:31:26,403 You finally have a second chance to step up and take a shot. 729 00:31:26,436 --> 00:31:27,604 You got the invite, baby! 730 00:31:27,638 --> 00:31:28,538 Yeah, I got the invite. 731 00:31:28,572 --> 00:31:30,207 I got... This is all I wanted. I got it. 732 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,508 Oh, my God. 733 00:31:31,541 --> 00:31:32,877 Summer's obviously into you 734 00:31:32,910 --> 00:31:34,344 and you're lacking confidence right now. 735 00:31:34,378 --> 00:31:35,178 That's fine, that's fine, 736 00:31:35,212 --> 00:31:35,880 'cause it all comes from practice. 737 00:31:35,913 --> 00:31:37,115 Look it up, Malcolm Gladwell. 738 00:31:37,147 --> 00:31:38,950 You have to bang 10,000 chicks in order to feel comfortable 739 00:31:38,983 --> 00:31:40,250 having sex with Summer. 740 00:31:40,283 --> 00:31:41,853 Ten... 741 00:31:41,886 --> 00:31:42,686 But we need Viagra, 'cause we're pressed on time right now. 742 00:31:43,821 --> 00:31:45,355 We need Viagra to bang 10,000 chicks. 743 00:31:45,389 --> 00:31:46,924 - Yes, 10,000 chicks. - 10,000 chicks. 744 00:31:46,958 --> 00:31:48,826 Do you think LeBron James or Tom Brady show up 745 00:31:48,860 --> 00:31:50,460 to the championship game and hope to win? 746 00:31:50,494 --> 00:31:51,461 Or, they fuck people up all season? 747 00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:53,363 No. 748 00:31:53,397 --> 00:31:54,531 You need to think of Victoria's party as your season and Summer 749 00:31:54,564 --> 00:31:57,267 as your Super Bowl, and you have ten hours to fuck up Chad 750 00:31:57,300 --> 00:31:57,935 and win that pussy ring. 751 00:31:57,969 --> 00:31:58,970 Great, got it! 752 00:31:59,003 --> 00:32:00,504 How am I supposed to fuck up Chad? 753 00:32:00,537 --> 00:32:01,973 I take the school bus. 754 00:32:02,006 --> 00:32:03,206 I've got that covered, man. 755 00:32:16,020 --> 00:32:17,354 Can I help you out with something? 756 00:32:17,387 --> 00:32:18,288 - Yeah. - Yeah. 757 00:32:21,926 --> 00:32:23,694 Well, I've got to get to work soon, so let's hear it. 758 00:32:23,727 --> 00:32:25,763 Oh, wh... what do you do? 759 00:32:25,797 --> 00:32:26,630 I sell Porsches. 760 00:32:26,663 --> 00:32:27,564 You a detective? 761 00:32:28,866 --> 00:32:30,534 Look... look, I know you're a very busy man. 762 00:32:30,567 --> 00:32:31,903 You know Porsches to sell, pussies to pop. 763 00:32:31,936 --> 00:32:33,971 I get that, I'm just gonna cut to the chase. 764 00:32:34,005 --> 00:32:35,840 Alright, my handsome friend here, he's your new neighbour 765 00:32:35,873 --> 00:32:37,674 and we notice you seem to have unlimited access 766 00:32:37,708 --> 00:32:38,608 to the sexiest cars. 767 00:32:38,642 --> 00:32:40,410 And we really need one for one wicked night 768 00:32:40,444 --> 00:32:42,412 of partying we got set up for tonight. 769 00:32:42,446 --> 00:32:45,917 And you know what they say, sexy wheels, sexy heels. 770 00:32:45,950 --> 00:32:47,417 "Sexy wheels, sexy heels." 771 00:32:47,451 --> 00:32:49,252 Uh, you funny, man. 772 00:32:49,286 --> 00:32:50,822 So I guess you're the one with the pretty face that 773 00:32:50,855 --> 00:32:53,256 keeps the girls coming and then, uh, you keep 'em around 774 00:32:53,290 --> 00:32:54,357 with the funny one liners, huh? 775 00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,827 - That's the idea. - Yeah. 776 00:32:55,860 --> 00:32:56,761 Yeah, yeah, you know, when you're handsome as hell like us, 777 00:32:56,794 --> 00:32:58,830 you don't need corny jokes. 778 00:32:58,863 --> 00:33:00,497 Alright, Jimbo? 779 00:33:00,530 --> 00:33:01,431 Jimmy. 780 00:33:02,733 --> 00:33:03,801 Time is money and money is sweet like honey, 781 00:33:03,835 --> 00:33:05,702 so let's talk some rides, guys. 782 00:33:05,736 --> 00:33:08,405 Now, I can take you boys to the dealership. 783 00:33:08,438 --> 00:33:10,640 We're gonna do everything on the up where I gotta run 784 00:33:10,674 --> 00:33:12,877 your credit check, make sure you're over 25, 785 00:33:12,910 --> 00:33:15,345 see what's available on the lot, yada-yada-yada. 786 00:33:15,378 --> 00:33:18,281 Or, if this little baby's giving you bedroom eyes, 787 00:33:18,315 --> 00:33:19,750 we can settle everything right here, right now, 788 00:33:19,784 --> 00:33:20,317 off the books. 789 00:33:20,350 --> 00:33:21,618 No, this car is perfect. 790 00:33:21,651 --> 00:33:24,889 She purrs, and she bites, 791 00:33:24,922 --> 00:33:26,791 but you know what she does best? 792 00:33:26,824 --> 00:33:28,525 She makes them panties drop. 793 00:33:28,558 --> 00:33:29,526 We on the same exact page, man. 794 00:33:29,559 --> 00:33:30,995 I get exactly what you're saying, my friend. 795 00:33:31,028 --> 00:33:31,829 - Yeah. - Yeah. 796 00:33:31,863 --> 00:33:33,330 We are reading the same page here, 797 00:33:33,363 --> 00:33:34,431 like it's our homework assignment 798 00:33:34,464 --> 00:33:36,901 and it's due tomorrow, and we're gonna turn it in, 799 00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:38,870 send it off. 800 00:33:40,570 --> 00:33:41,371 Stop. 801 00:33:45,575 --> 00:33:47,477 She's got 430 horsepower, 802 00:33:47,511 --> 00:33:49,781 or as I like to call it, horsecockpower. 803 00:33:49,814 --> 00:33:51,548 You know what makes the ladies really excited? 804 00:33:51,581 --> 00:33:52,850 What, respect and equal pay? 805 00:33:52,884 --> 00:33:54,018 Fuck, no! 806 00:33:54,051 --> 00:33:56,620 Press this button right here, takes you to sports mode. 807 00:33:56,653 --> 00:33:58,756 It's like two beautiful legs opening right up, 808 00:33:58,790 --> 00:34:01,591 clearing you for expedited first class entry. 809 00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:02,760 Please remember to fasten your seat belts 810 00:34:02,794 --> 00:34:04,561 before take off, gentlemen. 811 00:34:04,594 --> 00:34:06,030 - Oh, fuck, yeah! - No, no, no, no, no. 812 00:34:06,063 --> 00:34:07,430 Can we just slow down a little bit? 813 00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:08,398 Let's not, uh, uh, uh... 814 00:34:08,431 --> 00:34:09,066 Hey, check the torque on her. 815 00:34:17,008 --> 00:34:19,110 This was fucking crazy. 816 00:34:19,143 --> 00:34:20,677 Yeah. Hangin', bro? 817 00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:22,379 - Yep. - Where'd your friend go? 818 00:34:22,412 --> 00:34:23,446 Shit! 819 00:34:25,515 --> 00:34:26,650 Ace, you alright, man? 820 00:34:26,683 --> 00:34:27,785 I think so. 821 00:34:27,819 --> 00:34:28,953 Well, then come on, man, 822 00:34:28,986 --> 00:34:30,922 'cause time is money and money is sweet like honey, 823 00:34:30,955 --> 00:34:32,857 so hop on over here, 'cause it's not funny. 824 00:34:32,890 --> 00:34:33,825 Really sorry about this. 825 00:34:34,691 --> 00:34:37,561 So, how much you got? 826 00:34:37,594 --> 00:34:38,830 How much what? 827 00:34:38,863 --> 00:34:40,530 What? Money? 828 00:34:40,564 --> 00:34:41,665 Yeah, cash. 829 00:34:41,698 --> 00:34:42,967 Yeah, on your person. 830 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,003 $50 only, but I seem to have misplaced my wallet. 831 00:34:46,037 --> 00:34:47,972 I just can't find it at the moment. 832 00:34:48,005 --> 00:34:51,776 Oh-oh, you, sir, are no liar. 833 00:34:53,044 --> 00:34:53,878 How did you do that? 834 00:34:54,946 --> 00:34:56,546 So I'm gonna level with you guys. 835 00:34:56,580 --> 00:34:59,716 Believe it or not, I wasn't always this cool. 836 00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,618 Do you think I would have as many women as I do 837 00:35:01,651 --> 00:35:03,653 if I didn't have access to all the Porsches? 838 00:35:03,687 --> 00:35:04,989 Yes. 839 00:35:05,022 --> 00:35:06,523 Exactly right, because I've worked hard at it. 840 00:35:06,556 --> 00:35:09,026 I've trained, I've put in the time. 841 00:35:09,060 --> 00:35:11,461 You see, practice not only makes perfect, 842 00:35:11,494 --> 00:35:12,797 it makes panties drop. 843 00:35:12,830 --> 00:35:14,765 It's like you're in my brain, man. 844 00:35:14,799 --> 00:35:16,767 Does everything make panties drop? 845 00:35:16,801 --> 00:35:17,601 How about you, cheekbones? 846 00:35:17,634 --> 00:35:19,402 What you got? 847 00:35:19,436 --> 00:35:21,671 I don't think I... I don't think I have any ca... 848 00:35:21,705 --> 00:35:23,473 Ah, maybe $20? 849 00:35:23,506 --> 00:35:25,176 Am I standing on a street corner wearing a tight black dress 850 00:35:25,209 --> 00:35:26,844 and some red bottoms? 851 00:35:26,878 --> 00:35:27,945 N... no. 852 00:35:27,979 --> 00:35:31,715 Then stop trying to fuck me. 853 00:35:31,748 --> 00:35:33,150 Do you guys have, like, a car you can loan me 854 00:35:33,184 --> 00:35:34,517 as collateral? 855 00:35:34,551 --> 00:35:35,685 Oh, no, that would be a negative. 856 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,756 Then get the fuck out of here! 857 00:35:38,789 --> 00:35:40,858 If you see me in the street, don't look at me. 858 00:35:40,892 --> 00:35:43,928 Just look down starting now. 859 00:35:43,961 --> 00:35:45,495 Get out! 860 00:35:45,528 --> 00:35:46,663 Wait. 861 00:35:50,667 --> 00:35:51,903 What's this party about? 862 00:35:51,936 --> 00:35:53,170 Can... can we look up now? 863 00:35:53,204 --> 00:35:54,805 Yeah, yeah, you can look up. 864 00:35:54,839 --> 00:35:56,673 Um, it's this lady Victoria. 865 00:35:56,706 --> 00:35:58,776 Man, I mean, she's having a party at Fuckingham Palace. 866 00:35:58,809 --> 00:35:59,810 It's supposed to be crazy, man. 867 00:35:59,844 --> 00:36:02,079 A thousand dollars per person. 868 00:36:02,113 --> 00:36:03,180 A thousand dollars ain't cheap. 869 00:36:03,214 --> 00:36:04,048 We're getting in for free. 870 00:36:04,081 --> 00:36:05,515 You know, VIP, you know. 871 00:36:05,548 --> 00:36:06,583 'Cause of me. 872 00:36:08,052 --> 00:36:09,686 Hmm. 873 00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:11,122 Right. 874 00:36:11,923 --> 00:36:13,090 Fuck it. 875 00:36:13,124 --> 00:36:14,926 Alright, my depressingly poor amigos. 876 00:36:15,525 --> 00:36:16,994 For a mere $70 bucks, 877 00:36:17,028 --> 00:36:19,163 you guys just got my Seven-Eighteen Boxster GTS 878 00:36:19,196 --> 00:36:19,897 for the night. 879 00:36:20,798 --> 00:36:22,099 - Let's go! - Sweet! 880 00:36:22,133 --> 00:36:26,070 On one condition, I'm going to the party with you, 881 00:36:26,103 --> 00:36:28,072 just to, you know, make sure she's okay and stuff. 882 00:36:28,105 --> 00:36:29,907 Who's she? 883 00:36:29,941 --> 00:36:31,474 The Porsche, moron. 884 00:36:32,810 --> 00:36:34,045 Alright, so here's the plan. 885 00:36:34,078 --> 00:36:35,880 At 7:00 pm tonight, you're gonna meet me 886 00:36:35,913 --> 00:36:38,049 at Food Mart around the corner, okay? 887 00:36:38,082 --> 00:36:40,084 You're gonna go inside, gonna get an extra large 888 00:36:40,117 --> 00:36:42,053 black cherry Slurpee. 889 00:36:42,086 --> 00:36:43,687 I'll be waiting for you right there with the car. 890 00:36:45,222 --> 00:36:46,857 These Viagras better work, man. 891 00:36:46,891 --> 00:36:49,559 You know old guys take Viagra to have sex 892 00:36:49,592 --> 00:36:51,728 like guys our age, right? 893 00:36:51,762 --> 00:36:53,697 The only pill I need right now is Advil because my head 894 00:36:53,730 --> 00:36:55,099 is killing me. 895 00:36:55,132 --> 00:36:56,934 Look, the more you think about it, the more it hurts. 896 00:36:56,968 --> 00:36:58,069 Alright, you feel what you attract. 897 00:36:58,102 --> 00:36:59,636 Perception is everything. 898 00:36:59,669 --> 00:37:00,704 I'm not attracting a headache. 899 00:37:00,737 --> 00:37:02,039 I hit the shit out of my head. 900 00:37:02,073 --> 00:37:03,908 - Do you want me to rub it? - Yeah. 901 00:37:03,941 --> 00:37:05,876 Let's get these dick pills, alright? 902 00:37:05,910 --> 00:37:07,211 How did you meet this guy again? 903 00:37:07,244 --> 00:37:08,745 On Fortnite. 904 00:37:08,779 --> 00:37:10,214 He's like the Dan Bilzerian of the school, man. 905 00:37:11,949 --> 00:37:13,150 Enter, it's open. 906 00:37:16,787 --> 00:37:19,156 Is that G-money I hear behind me? 907 00:37:19,190 --> 00:37:22,193 Is that J-sizzle I see about to snipe some poor biatches? 908 00:37:22,226 --> 00:37:23,526 Gilbert? 909 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,627 Come here, man. 910 00:37:24,661 --> 00:37:26,163 Let this big bear get his paws on ya. 911 00:37:28,265 --> 00:37:30,234 You look different than I imagined. 912 00:37:30,267 --> 00:37:31,302 Uh, yeah. 913 00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:32,770 Nah, man, you too. 914 00:37:32,803 --> 00:37:34,571 You... you look healthy. 915 00:37:34,604 --> 00:37:35,139 Thanks man. 916 00:37:35,172 --> 00:37:36,073 I bought an Apple watch. 917 00:37:36,107 --> 00:37:38,109 Helps me to keep track of my steps, so. 918 00:37:38,142 --> 00:37:39,810 It's still in the box. 919 00:37:39,844 --> 00:37:40,778 It's pretty cool. 920 00:37:40,811 --> 00:37:43,180 Hey, this is Vanessa, the love of my life. 921 00:37:46,050 --> 00:37:46,649 Oh, they don't mind. 922 00:37:46,683 --> 00:37:48,285 Who is thi handsome devil? 923 00:37:48,319 --> 00:37:50,154 What, are you friends with an actual walking sex stick? 924 00:37:50,187 --> 00:37:51,055 Thanks. 925 00:37:53,656 --> 00:37:54,058 It's good to... 926 00:37:54,959 --> 00:37:55,993 Thanks for having us. 927 00:37:56,894 --> 00:37:58,829 You are a gentleman and a scholar, sir. 928 00:37:58,863 --> 00:37:59,930 You're a prince in an alley, Gilbert. 929 00:37:59,964 --> 00:38:02,233 Guys, come on in, have a seat. 930 00:38:02,266 --> 00:38:04,201 So, to what do I owe this gracious visit 931 00:38:04,235 --> 00:38:05,936 from my favourite Fortnite compatriot? 932 00:38:05,970 --> 00:38:07,637 Hey, man, like I said, my Viagra girl, 933 00:38:07,670 --> 00:38:08,873 she went MIA on me, man. 934 00:38:08,906 --> 00:38:09,407 What's her name? 935 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:10,007 I probably know her. 936 00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:12,243 Uh, it's, uh... Victoria? 937 00:38:12,276 --> 00:38:14,245 - Victoria V. - Dope shit! 938 00:38:14,278 --> 00:38:15,413 You know she supplies my guy. 939 00:38:15,446 --> 00:38:19,216 She throws like the craziest, most legendary parties. 940 00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:21,919 Hey, man, let me ask you something. 941 00:38:21,952 --> 00:38:24,654 What's it like to go through life knowing everyone 942 00:38:24,687 --> 00:38:25,722 wants to fuck you? 943 00:38:27,858 --> 00:38:30,627 I... I wouldn't say it's, uh, everyone. 944 00:38:30,660 --> 00:38:32,163 Pretty sure it is everyone. 945 00:38:32,196 --> 00:38:34,098 Not everyone comes up to me and says they want to fuck me. 946 00:38:34,131 --> 00:38:35,833 I bet if I did a straw poll in this house, 947 00:38:35,866 --> 00:38:36,934 it would be everyone. 948 00:38:38,803 --> 00:38:39,870 Um... 949 00:38:39,904 --> 00:38:41,338 So I keep the drugs in the bedroom. 950 00:38:41,372 --> 00:38:44,075 Why don't we continue this negotiation in there, alright? 951 00:38:44,108 --> 00:38:45,843 Shall we? Let's do it. 952 00:38:46,410 --> 00:38:48,645 Gentlemen, milady. 953 00:38:55,718 --> 00:38:56,921 So, the pills are right there. 954 00:38:56,954 --> 00:38:59,190 You guys could just grab a vile and you should be all set. 955 00:38:59,223 --> 00:39:00,690 Thank you so much, J. 956 00:39:00,723 --> 00:39:01,892 How much do we owe you for this? 957 00:39:01,926 --> 00:39:02,793 Aw, your money's no good here. 958 00:39:02,827 --> 00:39:04,228 It's on the house. 959 00:39:04,261 --> 00:39:06,097 We were wondering, though, if maybe we could ask you guys 960 00:39:06,130 --> 00:39:07,664 for a favour in return? 961 00:39:07,697 --> 00:39:08,631 Yo, anything, man. 962 00:39:08,665 --> 00:39:09,632 Just ask. 963 00:39:09,666 --> 00:39:11,268 - Not anything. - Shut up. 964 00:39:11,302 --> 00:39:13,871 We think you guys are really cute. 965 00:39:13,904 --> 00:39:15,705 Do you guys think that we're cute? 966 00:39:21,779 --> 00:39:23,814 - Yeah. - Uh-huh. 967 00:39:23,848 --> 00:39:24,614 How... how do you... 968 00:39:24,647 --> 00:39:25,850 If you don't mean it, it's okay. 969 00:39:25,883 --> 00:39:26,784 You guys are cute as fuck. 970 00:39:26,817 --> 00:39:28,853 - Really? - Yeah. 971 00:39:28,886 --> 00:39:30,187 - Are you sure? - No... 972 00:39:30,221 --> 00:39:31,322 You sure you're not just saying that? 973 00:39:31,355 --> 00:39:33,057 No, no. I-I mean, um, 'cause with... 974 00:39:33,723 --> 00:39:34,959 Ace? 975 00:39:34,992 --> 00:39:36,393 Yeah, yeah. 976 00:39:36,427 --> 00:39:38,062 No, you guys are super cute. 977 00:39:38,095 --> 00:39:41,065 You guys, uh, you've... you've good chemistry and... and... 978 00:39:41,098 --> 00:39:42,967 and you guys, you know, you feed off of each other. 979 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,734 You're comfortable in your own skin together, 980 00:39:44,768 --> 00:39:45,903 so that's... that's always a plus. 981 00:39:45,936 --> 00:39:47,670 - That's awesome. - Hmm. 982 00:39:47,704 --> 00:39:49,273 So Vanessa and I are gonna make love now 983 00:39:49,306 --> 00:39:51,375 and we'd love for you guys to just be around. 984 00:39:51,408 --> 00:39:54,979 You know, feel free to hop in or do whatever's comfortable. 985 00:39:55,012 --> 00:39:57,114 You know, have a seat, take a load off. 986 00:39:57,848 --> 00:40:01,085 Yeah, positive vibes only, okay? 987 00:40:02,286 --> 00:40:02,987 - Um... - Um... 988 00:40:03,020 --> 00:40:03,787 Great! 989 00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:05,389 Alexa, play my sex jams. 990 00:40:05,422 --> 00:40:07,191 Playing sex jams. 991 00:40:16,867 --> 00:40:18,402 What the fuck is happening right now? 992 00:40:20,304 --> 00:40:22,206 This is college. 993 00:40:29,914 --> 00:40:31,115 Hey! 994 00:40:31,148 --> 00:40:32,715 Give me your hand. 995 00:40:33,417 --> 00:40:34,351 Come on. 996 00:40:34,385 --> 00:40:36,187 Press your palm against my palm. 997 00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:37,221 Timothée Chalamet. 998 00:40:37,254 --> 00:40:38,389 Come on. 999 00:40:41,058 --> 00:40:42,026 You've been summoned. 1000 00:40:55,906 --> 00:40:57,241 Yes, that's great. 1001 00:40:58,542 --> 00:40:59,944 Family style, over here. 1002 00:40:59,977 --> 00:41:01,312 Let's cross fingers. 1003 00:41:01,345 --> 00:41:03,080 Let's cross fingers, family style. 1004 00:41:04,348 --> 00:41:06,817 Bro, you've been summoned, join us. 1005 00:41:09,820 --> 00:41:10,788 Come on. 1006 00:41:27,238 --> 00:41:28,239 Mm. 1007 00:41:37,881 --> 00:41:39,883 That should do it. 1008 00:41:39,917 --> 00:41:42,186 Thanks so much, boys for stopping by. 1009 00:41:42,219 --> 00:41:44,088 That's what we call a win-win, you know. 1010 00:41:47,891 --> 00:41:49,293 We take this to our graves. 1011 00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:51,195 Take what? 1012 00:41:51,996 --> 00:41:53,030 Exactly. 1013 00:41:56,267 --> 00:41:57,401 I just don't know about this guy. 1014 00:41:57,434 --> 00:41:58,569 What if he doesn't show? 1015 00:41:58,602 --> 00:42:00,537 Neil, he's your neighbour, alright? 1016 00:42:00,571 --> 00:42:01,372 He's, at the very least, 1017 00:42:01,405 --> 00:42:03,274 a very financially stable homeowner, 1018 00:42:03,307 --> 00:42:04,875 not just some random dude we met playing video games 1019 00:42:04,908 --> 00:42:06,043 with alright? 1020 00:42:06,076 --> 00:42:08,879 Plus he's normal, he's cool, he's handsome, 1021 00:42:08,912 --> 00:42:11,048 and you shouldn't be questioning shit with a $20 investment. 1022 00:42:15,419 --> 00:42:18,489 The cashier seems to have taken a real liking to us. 1023 00:42:18,522 --> 00:42:19,857 He's probably wondering what a healthy stud like you 1024 00:42:19,890 --> 00:42:21,292 is even doing here. 1025 00:42:21,325 --> 00:42:22,393 None of this shit is organic. 1026 00:42:26,297 --> 00:42:27,097 Nice. 1027 00:42:27,131 --> 00:42:27,931 Come on, let's go. 1028 00:42:31,335 --> 00:42:32,202 How you doing? 1029 00:42:32,236 --> 00:42:33,370 Get this real quick? 1030 00:42:36,974 --> 00:42:38,609 Time to separate the men from the boys. 1031 00:42:48,152 --> 00:42:49,320 Okay. 1032 00:42:52,356 --> 00:42:54,425 Alright, it's go time, boys. 1033 00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,860 Let's do this. 1034 00:42:56,894 --> 00:42:58,962 Give me all the money out of your register now. 1035 00:42:58,996 --> 00:43:01,532 Give me all the money out of the register! 1036 00:43:01,565 --> 00:43:04,001 - Now, motherfucker! - Fuck! 1037 00:43:04,034 --> 00:43:05,235 You made me sound like Samuel Jackson. 1038 00:43:05,269 --> 00:43:06,103 - Jimmy? Jimmy? - What, chubby? 1039 00:43:06,136 --> 00:43:07,571 What am I supposed to do with the bags? 1040 00:43:07,604 --> 00:43:09,306 Just hold on to it for a second, goddamn, man. 1041 00:43:09,340 --> 00:43:10,441 Your move, Apu. 1042 00:43:10,474 --> 00:43:11,375 That's... that's racist. 1043 00:43:11,408 --> 00:43:13,344 That ain't racist, that's his name, man. 1044 00:43:13,377 --> 00:43:14,978 His mama named him that. 1045 00:43:15,012 --> 00:43:16,113 Look at all this. 1046 00:43:16,146 --> 00:43:17,114 Rob the motherfucker. 1047 00:43:17,147 --> 00:43:19,249 You know them gas prices is high as hell, man. 1048 00:43:19,283 --> 00:43:19,983 Alright, start the car. 1049 00:43:20,017 --> 00:43:21,118 Let's go! 1050 00:43:21,151 --> 00:43:22,486 The Skittles, nigg... 1051 00:43:22,519 --> 00:43:23,354 Man, come here. 1052 00:43:23,387 --> 00:43:25,022 - Why is this bag so big? - Shut up, man! 1053 00:43:25,055 --> 00:43:26,357 'Sup with all these questions? 1054 00:43:26,390 --> 00:43:27,191 Alright, go. 1055 00:43:27,224 --> 00:43:28,892 Get outta here. 1056 00:43:28,926 --> 00:43:29,626 Wait, wait, wait, there's more money. 1057 00:43:29,660 --> 00:43:30,160 There's more money. 1058 00:43:30,194 --> 00:43:30,961 There's more money. 1059 00:43:30,994 --> 00:43:32,129 Come help, we're a bout to be rich. 1060 00:43:32,162 --> 00:43:32,563 Oh, shit! 1061 00:43:36,633 --> 00:43:37,301 What the fuck? 1062 00:43:37,334 --> 00:43:38,369 Who pokes eyes? 1063 00:43:38,402 --> 00:43:40,137 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1064 00:43:40,170 --> 00:43:41,472 What the fuck!? 1065 00:43:41,505 --> 00:43:42,306 I don't want my fingerprints on this shit either. 1066 00:43:42,339 --> 00:43:43,240 Press the gas! 1067 00:43:43,273 --> 00:43:44,108 Fine! 1068 00:43:47,945 --> 00:43:49,113 What the hell is wrong with you, man? 1069 00:43:49,146 --> 00:43:50,414 You never drive before? 1070 00:43:50,447 --> 00:43:51,482 I just got my permit, man! 1071 00:43:59,456 --> 00:44:00,257 Oh, fuck! 1072 00:44:00,290 --> 00:44:01,692 Oh... 1073 00:44:01,725 --> 00:44:02,593 Wait! 1074 00:44:02,626 --> 00:44:03,494 Gilbert! 1075 00:44:03,527 --> 00:44:04,495 Wait, Gilbert! 1076 00:44:04,528 --> 00:44:05,262 What the fuck you doing? 1077 00:44:05,295 --> 00:44:07,398 - I can't leave Neil, man. - Why? 1078 00:44:07,431 --> 00:44:08,565 He's my best friend and I love him. 1079 00:44:08,599 --> 00:44:09,400 Oh, my... 1080 00:44:09,433 --> 00:44:11,535 - I love him, man. - Stop saying that. 1081 00:44:11,568 --> 00:44:12,936 We're not stopping. 1082 00:44:12,970 --> 00:44:15,372 Wait, guys... No, no, no, no, no, no! 1083 00:44:15,406 --> 00:44:16,540 Pop the trunk! 1084 00:44:16,573 --> 00:44:17,141 Pop the trunk. 1085 00:44:17,174 --> 00:44:18,308 Well, how do I do that? 1086 00:44:18,342 --> 00:44:19,209 Pop the trunk! 1087 00:44:19,243 --> 00:44:20,144 Wait! 1088 00:44:20,177 --> 00:44:21,044 Wait! 1089 00:44:24,014 --> 00:44:25,082 I'll kill you, motherfuckers! 1090 00:44:29,319 --> 00:44:30,020 Whoo! 1091 00:44:30,053 --> 00:44:31,021 What a rush! 1092 00:44:34,425 --> 00:44:36,293 Looks like we have another one gone wild. 1093 00:44:36,326 --> 00:44:37,661 Go figure. 1094 00:44:37,694 --> 00:44:38,996 It must be all the fresh pizza and chicken wings. 1095 00:44:41,465 --> 00:44:43,367 Drop your weapon and get down on the ground, sir! 1096 00:44:43,734 --> 00:44:45,502 - Do it now! - No, no, no, no. 1097 00:44:45,536 --> 00:44:46,370 They robbed me. 1098 00:44:46,403 --> 00:44:47,538 You should be chasing that Porsche. 1099 00:44:47,571 --> 00:44:49,640 Yeah, I'm sure guys in Porsches rob shitty Food Marts 1100 00:44:49,673 --> 00:44:50,274 all the time. 1101 00:44:50,307 --> 00:44:51,508 It makes perfect sense. 1102 00:44:51,542 --> 00:44:53,444 Get down on the ground, shitbag! 1103 00:44:53,477 --> 00:44:55,212 Do it, now! 1104 00:44:56,046 --> 00:44:58,382 I'm still failing to understand what the problem is here. 1105 00:44:59,183 --> 00:45:01,385 Okay, for starters, how about the fact that you didn't tell us 1106 00:45:01,418 --> 00:45:03,153 we were going to be robbing a fucking Food Mart. 1107 00:45:03,187 --> 00:45:04,488 Okay, first of all, 1108 00:45:04,521 --> 00:45:07,024 Food Marts get robbed all the damn time, alright? 1109 00:45:07,057 --> 00:45:08,625 That's the price of selling cheap shit, 1110 00:45:08,659 --> 00:45:09,626 and being on every block. 1111 00:45:09,660 --> 00:45:11,395 Secondly, I didn't plan this. 1112 00:45:11,428 --> 00:45:14,031 It's just, like, you know, it's a spontaneous thing. 1113 00:45:14,064 --> 00:45:15,098 I'm a spontaneous dude. 1114 00:45:15,132 --> 00:45:15,966 I knew y'all was broke, 1115 00:45:15,999 --> 00:45:17,568 so I went in and got y'all some money. 1116 00:45:17,601 --> 00:45:18,535 What's wrong with that? 1117 00:45:18,569 --> 00:45:20,370 So you just happened to carry a mask and... 1118 00:45:20,404 --> 00:45:21,605 and a gun on you? 1119 00:45:21,638 --> 00:45:23,073 See this gun, fake! 1120 00:45:23,106 --> 00:45:23,740 Man, what are you doing? 1121 00:45:23,775 --> 00:45:25,309 Okay. 1122 00:45:25,342 --> 00:45:27,444 And I wear the mask sometimes 'cause, you know, 1123 00:45:27,478 --> 00:45:28,312 chicks like it. 1124 00:45:28,345 --> 00:45:29,446 I'm a freak. 1125 00:45:32,349 --> 00:45:34,418 You realize the cops are gonna be looking for us, right? 1126 00:45:34,451 --> 00:45:35,552 'Cause our faces are on that camera, 1127 00:45:35,586 --> 00:45:37,454 not Mister Ski Mask over here. 1128 00:45:37,488 --> 00:45:39,590 Okay, you shouldn't be concerned with any of that shit. 1129 00:45:39,623 --> 00:45:40,758 I should be. 1130 00:45:40,792 --> 00:45:41,759 Alright, you're good. 1131 00:45:43,527 --> 00:45:45,162 You're fine with this? 1132 00:45:45,195 --> 00:45:46,330 You're fine with the scenario the way that all this shit 1133 00:45:46,363 --> 00:45:47,431 went down? 1134 00:45:47,464 --> 00:45:49,633 Neil, I wasn't gonna leave you, man. 1135 00:45:49,666 --> 00:45:51,769 I came back for you, ma... Jimmy, tell him. 1136 00:45:51,803 --> 00:45:53,237 Yeah, I wanted to leave you. 1137 00:45:53,270 --> 00:45:54,671 I thought you was dead weight. 1138 00:45:54,705 --> 00:45:56,240 But he love you, so I was like, alright. 1139 00:45:56,273 --> 00:45:57,708 - I love you, man. - Don't do that. 1140 00:45:57,741 --> 00:45:59,176 - I love you, man. - You don't love me. 1141 00:45:59,209 --> 00:46:00,310 - Yes, I do. - You don't love me. 1142 00:46:00,344 --> 00:46:01,578 - Don't... - Neil, I fuckin' love you, man! 1143 00:46:01,612 --> 00:46:03,213 Don't abuse that word, man. 1144 00:46:03,247 --> 00:46:04,314 Look, is this "The Notebook"? 1145 00:46:04,348 --> 00:46:06,116 Well, y... you wanted the Porsche. 1146 00:46:06,149 --> 00:46:07,618 You wanted the Porsche, so we got you the Porsche. 1147 00:46:07,651 --> 00:46:09,353 - I don't care about... - You wanted to be like Chad. 1148 00:46:09,386 --> 00:46:10,587 - So I got you a Porsche. - Porsche, baby. 1149 00:46:10,621 --> 00:46:11,421 It's a clean ass Porsche. 1150 00:46:11,455 --> 00:46:12,757 No, I don't care about the Porsche. 1151 00:46:12,790 --> 00:46:13,457 Who doesn't want a Porsche? 1152 00:46:13,490 --> 00:46:14,191 I never cared about the Porsche. 1153 00:46:14,224 --> 00:46:15,092 No one cares about the Porsche. 1154 00:46:15,125 --> 00:46:16,794 You saying you don't want this Porsche? 1155 00:46:16,828 --> 00:46:18,562 I want a Porsche. 1156 00:46:18,595 --> 00:46:21,265 In order to have intercourse, you've got to have a Porsche. 1157 00:46:21,298 --> 00:46:22,599 I didn't want the dick pills. 1158 00:46:22,633 --> 00:46:24,167 And I definitely don't want to go to jail 1159 00:46:24,201 --> 00:46:25,536 for robbing fucking Food Marts. 1160 00:46:26,670 --> 00:46:29,506 All I wanted was a pineapple invitation 1161 00:46:29,540 --> 00:46:30,707 and to go to Summer's party. 1162 00:46:30,741 --> 00:46:32,209 Alright, we all got that. 1163 00:46:32,242 --> 00:46:34,244 So me, you and Jimmy, we can all roll right now 1164 00:46:34,278 --> 00:46:35,746 in the Porsche. 1165 00:46:35,780 --> 00:46:40,317 I... I even held your weird friend's hand while he orgasmed. 1166 00:46:40,350 --> 00:46:41,385 Hold his hand when he was whatin'? 1167 00:46:41,418 --> 00:46:43,654 Hey, man, will you... 1168 00:46:43,687 --> 00:46:45,255 I was in there with you. 1169 00:46:45,289 --> 00:46:46,657 Neil, you don't got to say that shit around him. 1170 00:46:47,892 --> 00:46:50,694 I never would have puked on Summer if it weren't for you. 1171 00:46:50,727 --> 00:46:52,296 I was just trying to help you. 1172 00:46:54,832 --> 00:46:57,134 Alright, this happens at my dealership all the time. 1173 00:46:57,167 --> 00:46:59,736 It's called a breakdown of communication. 1174 00:46:59,771 --> 00:47:02,673 That's what's happening right now with you guys, okay? 1175 00:47:02,706 --> 00:47:05,810 A great way to solve it is just by being nice to each other. 1176 00:47:05,843 --> 00:47:07,277 Make up, okay? 1177 00:47:07,946 --> 00:47:09,379 I'm... I'm good. I'm done. 1178 00:47:15,485 --> 00:47:16,653 Do you want me to shoot him? 1179 00:47:21,893 --> 00:47:23,761 Looks like you're my VIP customer of the night. 1180 00:47:25,897 --> 00:47:27,497 Where's your friend, the crazy one? 1181 00:47:31,769 --> 00:47:33,136 Fuck him. 1182 00:47:36,506 --> 00:47:39,242 Y'all pretty tight, huh? 1183 00:47:39,276 --> 00:47:41,913 Yeah, that's my best friend. 1184 00:47:41,946 --> 00:47:44,849 Or was... I guess. 1185 00:47:44,882 --> 00:47:47,651 Man, real best friends fight and make up all the time, man. 1186 00:47:47,684 --> 00:47:50,554 Y'all'll be back, trust that. 1187 00:47:51,555 --> 00:47:52,389 Yeah. 1188 00:47:54,324 --> 00:47:55,726 Want to loosen up a little bit before we, uh, 1189 00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:57,160 hit this party, though? 1190 00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:11,642 Born ready, man. 1191 00:48:20,250 --> 00:48:21,551 Hey, how's the party? What's going on? 1192 00:48:21,585 --> 00:48:22,352 Mm. 1193 00:48:22,386 --> 00:48:24,221 Hey, you wanna dance? 1194 00:48:24,254 --> 00:48:27,391 It's alright, not too crowded yet. 1195 00:48:27,424 --> 00:48:28,392 Is Chad there? 1196 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,728 Oh, I said no gifts! 1197 00:48:31,763 --> 00:48:32,964 Yes. 1198 00:48:32,997 --> 00:48:35,198 And I would advise bringing her a gift. 1199 00:48:35,232 --> 00:48:37,534 Chad is bringing his A game. 1200 00:48:37,567 --> 00:48:39,403 Of course he is. 1201 00:48:39,436 --> 00:48:40,203 What do I get her? 1202 00:48:40,237 --> 00:48:41,873 Something simple, cute. 1203 00:48:41,906 --> 00:48:43,306 Bring her a pocket dildo. 1204 00:48:43,340 --> 00:48:45,509 N... I'm not gonna get her a dildo, Jaclyn. 1205 00:48:45,542 --> 00:48:46,376 Okay, bye. 1206 00:48:46,410 --> 00:48:47,511 I gotta go. 1207 00:48:54,518 --> 00:48:55,585 Hey, I'm gonna grab something from the store. 1208 00:48:55,619 --> 00:48:56,821 I'll be right back. 1209 00:48:56,854 --> 00:48:58,823 Cool, I'll be out here having fun pumping gas. 1210 00:49:00,490 --> 00:49:01,959 - Hey. - Hey. 1211 00:49:16,974 --> 00:49:19,242 Can I get thirty on seven and a pack of menthols, please? 1212 00:49:20,343 --> 00:49:21,045 How you doing? 1213 00:49:21,079 --> 00:49:22,814 Good, you? 1214 00:49:22,847 --> 00:49:24,548 Shitty, we had a Food Mart hit down the street. 1215 00:49:24,581 --> 00:49:25,917 You guys got any suspects? 1216 00:49:25,950 --> 00:49:27,051 We've got video footage. 1217 00:49:27,085 --> 00:49:30,287 Some handsome motherfucker, his fat friend, and here. 1218 00:49:31,321 --> 00:49:32,689 Guy, that's my dog. 1219 00:49:32,723 --> 00:49:33,557 We've got video footage. That's Tommy Lee Jones, yeah. 1220 00:49:33,590 --> 00:49:34,759 He's cute. A little excited, ain't he? 1221 00:49:34,792 --> 00:49:36,326 Yeah, that's him and I in Ramerwood. 1222 00:49:36,359 --> 00:49:37,161 It's a Chinese restaurant. 1223 00:49:37,195 --> 00:49:38,996 - What are you doing? - Don't worry. 1224 00:49:39,030 --> 00:49:40,330 I'm not gonna hurt you. 1225 00:49:40,363 --> 00:49:41,298 Oh, my God, no, no, no! 1226 00:49:41,331 --> 00:49:42,299 Don't do it, don't do it! 1227 00:49:42,332 --> 00:49:43,567 What? Why? 1228 00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:44,902 I'm already committed here if you can't tell. 1229 00:49:44,936 --> 00:49:46,369 No, I'm... I'm trying to help you. 1230 00:49:46,403 --> 00:49:47,237 It's my first time. 1231 00:49:47,270 --> 00:49:48,371 They say the first time's the hardest. 1232 00:49:48,405 --> 00:49:49,807 No, no, no, wait. 1233 00:49:49,841 --> 00:49:50,775 There's a cop at the register. Seriously, don't do it. 1234 00:49:50,808 --> 00:49:52,043 Stop fuckin' with me, man. 1235 00:49:52,076 --> 00:49:53,343 Do you think this is easy? 1236 00:49:53,376 --> 00:49:54,578 You should try it, dip shit. 1237 00:49:54,611 --> 00:49:56,013 I'm... I'm not... I've... 1238 00:49:58,415 --> 00:50:00,350 That's the video. 1239 00:50:00,383 --> 00:50:02,586 These motherfuckers robbed a Food Mart in a Porsche. 1240 00:50:02,619 --> 00:50:04,287 Who robs a Food Mart in a Porsche? 1241 00:50:04,321 --> 00:50:05,288 Nobody does. 1242 00:50:05,322 --> 00:50:06,523 It smells fishy. 1243 00:50:06,556 --> 00:50:07,524 We think it's an inside job. 1244 00:50:07,557 --> 00:50:09,626 Let me get two ring pops for my buddy the Ramrod. 1245 00:50:34,518 --> 00:50:35,385 - What the... - Don't make me do it! 1246 00:50:35,418 --> 00:50:37,021 Okay, drop the gun now! 1247 00:50:37,054 --> 00:50:38,022 No. 1248 00:50:38,055 --> 00:50:39,791 Drop the gun. 1249 00:50:39,824 --> 00:50:40,624 I'm gonna shoot him. 1250 00:50:40,657 --> 00:50:41,926 No, you're not. 1251 00:50:41,959 --> 00:50:43,761 Yeah, I am and... and then, and then who knows. 1252 00:50:43,795 --> 00:50:45,062 That shit ain't gonna work like you think. 1253 00:50:45,096 --> 00:50:48,032 Drop... the gun! 1254 00:50:48,065 --> 00:50:49,466 You drop your gun! 1255 00:50:50,067 --> 00:50:51,002 No! 1256 00:50:57,141 --> 00:50:58,608 I'm gonna shoot him, man. 1257 00:50:58,642 --> 00:51:00,410 You don't know me. 1258 00:51:00,443 --> 00:51:01,645 You don't know my capabilities. 1259 00:51:01,678 --> 00:51:03,647 Wait a minute, you shut up for a second. 1260 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:04,748 Are you recording this? 1261 00:51:04,782 --> 00:51:06,349 Yeah, man. 1262 00:51:06,383 --> 00:51:07,852 You guys don't have the best reputation right now. 1263 00:51:07,885 --> 00:51:09,486 That's right, Black Lives Matter. 1264 00:51:11,122 --> 00:51:11,789 Okay. 1265 00:51:11,823 --> 00:51:13,124 Neither of you two are Black. 1266 00:51:13,157 --> 00:51:14,457 That's why you haven't shot him yet? 1267 00:51:17,094 --> 00:51:18,595 I know yo... 1268 00:51:18,628 --> 00:51:20,765 You're the handsome motherfucker from Food Mart. 1269 00:51:21,999 --> 00:51:24,568 Dude, dude, we've gotta go! 1270 00:51:24,601 --> 00:51:25,702 We gotta go! 1271 00:51:28,405 --> 00:51:29,372 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 1272 00:51:36,479 --> 00:51:37,882 Whose list are you on? 1273 00:51:37,915 --> 00:51:39,784 Uh, that will be Ken, and my name is Ace. 1274 00:51:39,817 --> 00:51:41,052 Ace, huh? 1275 00:51:42,019 --> 00:51:44,021 Yeah, like... like Ventura. 1276 00:51:44,055 --> 00:51:45,756 Alrighty, then! 1277 00:51:46,556 --> 00:51:47,158 Welcome, Ace. 1278 00:51:47,825 --> 00:51:48,592 Nice car. 1279 00:51:48,625 --> 00:51:49,994 It's my weekend whip. 1280 00:51:50,027 --> 00:51:50,828 They're good. 1281 00:51:50,862 --> 00:51:52,662 And here are your mandatory outfits. 1282 00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:56,868 Outfits? 1283 00:52:00,972 --> 00:52:01,973 Okay. 1284 00:52:05,843 --> 00:52:07,577 Have a good time, gentlemen. 1285 00:52:17,021 --> 00:52:18,588 Sushi to go. 1286 00:52:18,622 --> 00:52:19,991 Sushi to go. 1287 00:52:26,596 --> 00:52:27,999 Man. 1288 00:52:28,032 --> 00:52:28,866 Okay. 1289 00:52:31,668 --> 00:52:32,904 Yo, man, this is the shit, man. 1290 00:52:32,937 --> 00:52:34,205 What did I tell you? 1291 00:52:34,238 --> 00:52:35,139 What did I tell you? 1292 00:52:35,172 --> 00:52:36,040 You told me. 1293 00:52:36,073 --> 00:52:37,141 You, uh, told me. 1294 00:52:37,174 --> 00:52:38,276 This is it. 1295 00:52:38,309 --> 00:52:41,078 Uh, does this seem like a bit of a guy thing to you? 1296 00:52:41,112 --> 00:52:43,613 Oh, a guy thing to me is watching football with a beer 1297 00:52:43,647 --> 00:52:44,882 in one hand and my nuts in the other, 1298 00:52:44,916 --> 00:52:46,716 but I ain't trippin'. 1299 00:52:46,750 --> 00:52:49,552 This is my first man on man extravaganza. 1300 00:52:49,586 --> 00:52:50,755 You got any friends here? 1301 00:52:50,788 --> 00:52:51,789 I don't think so. 1302 00:52:52,522 --> 00:52:53,590 Gilbert? 1303 00:52:54,959 --> 00:52:56,559 Gilbert! 1304 00:52:56,593 --> 00:52:57,527 Shit! 1305 00:52:58,930 --> 00:53:00,630 - G Spot! - Hey. 1306 00:53:00,664 --> 00:53:02,867 How did I know I'd find you here, you sexy bitch? 1307 00:53:02,900 --> 00:53:04,168 Yeah, we had fun today, right? 1308 00:53:05,669 --> 00:53:06,871 1Up to you, Justin. 1309 00:53:06,904 --> 00:53:08,205 Whoo! 1310 00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:08,940 Hey, man, you've got a little thing on your... 1311 00:53:08,973 --> 00:53:09,572 Whoa! 1312 00:53:09,606 --> 00:53:10,540 Oh! 1313 00:53:11,842 --> 00:53:12,910 - What the fuck was that, man? - Relax, dude. 1314 00:53:12,944 --> 00:53:14,577 It's just cocaine, full nose candy. 1315 00:53:14,611 --> 00:53:15,212 Dude, relax. 1316 00:53:15,246 --> 00:53:16,013 Stop being so square. 1317 00:53:16,047 --> 00:53:16,781 Come on. 1318 00:53:20,650 --> 00:53:22,019 Hey, uh, enjoy yourself, G Spot. 1319 00:53:22,053 --> 00:53:22,887 Wait, wait, wait! 1320 00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:23,788 Jimmy, where... where you goin', man? 1321 00:53:23,821 --> 00:53:24,388 - Come on, dude. - Where you going, Jimmy? 1322 00:53:24,422 --> 00:53:25,089 We got to dance, bitch! 1323 00:53:25,122 --> 00:53:27,158 Guys, come meet my friend. 1324 00:53:41,705 --> 00:53:42,974 Oh! 1325 00:53:43,007 --> 00:53:44,641 I'm so glad you made it. 1326 00:53:44,674 --> 00:53:46,811 I wouldn't miss it for the world. 1327 00:53:46,844 --> 00:53:49,512 My pussy and I have been waiting for you. 1328 00:53:49,546 --> 00:53:52,116 Well, the wait is over for both of you. 1329 00:53:57,922 --> 00:53:59,090 Hey, buddy. 1330 00:53:59,123 --> 00:54:00,523 Yeah? 1331 00:54:00,557 --> 00:54:01,759 Do you want to hang out sometime? 1332 00:54:01,792 --> 00:54:03,027 - Uh... - Here's my card. 1333 00:54:03,060 --> 00:54:05,062 It has all my contact info on there. 1334 00:54:05,096 --> 00:54:06,730 Oh, and I talked to my girlfriend. 1335 00:54:06,764 --> 00:54:09,233 She's down to clown around in threesome town. 1336 00:54:09,266 --> 00:54:11,235 She said you could be the mayor. 1337 00:54:11,268 --> 00:54:13,137 - Okay. - Cool. 1338 00:54:26,583 --> 00:54:27,852 Jaclyn, hey. 1339 00:54:27,885 --> 00:54:29,186 Jaclyn? 1340 00:54:29,220 --> 00:54:30,021 Hmm? 1341 00:54:30,821 --> 00:54:32,589 - Where is she? - No. 1342 00:54:32,622 --> 00:54:33,290 No, no. 1343 00:54:33,791 --> 00:54:34,925 I need your help. 1344 00:54:34,959 --> 00:54:37,061 - Jesus Christ. - Who are you? 1345 00:54:37,094 --> 00:54:38,728 Oh, Jesus Christ! 1346 00:54:38,763 --> 00:54:39,263 Oh, my God. 1347 00:54:39,296 --> 00:54:40,231 I completely forgot. 1348 00:54:40,264 --> 00:54:41,098 He's... 1349 00:54:41,132 --> 00:54:41,731 - Hmm? - Oh. 1350 00:54:41,766 --> 00:54:42,800 You could go kiss her now. 1351 00:54:54,644 --> 00:54:55,279 Whoa! 1352 00:54:55,312 --> 00:54:55,846 Sorry, dude. 1353 00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:57,081 Watch your step, man. 1354 00:54:57,114 --> 00:54:58,082 My bad. 1355 00:55:17,068 --> 00:55:17,935 Oh! 1356 00:55:17,968 --> 00:55:19,170 Hey, what's up, Black dude. 1357 00:55:19,203 --> 00:55:20,237 How you doing, man? 1358 00:55:20,271 --> 00:55:22,039 I'm looking for the fuckin' room. 1359 00:55:22,073 --> 00:55:23,640 Any ideas, Lennox Lewis? 1360 00:55:25,943 --> 00:55:26,743 What you got there? 1361 00:55:39,423 --> 00:55:41,658 Show 'em what you got. 1362 00:55:41,691 --> 00:55:43,828 What is that double dickin' it, or jizz in the eye? 1363 00:55:43,861 --> 00:55:46,663 Alright, you... can you just support me right now? 1364 00:55:46,696 --> 00:55:47,531 What the fuck? I am. 1365 00:55:47,565 --> 00:55:48,933 You're not being a good wingwoman at all. 1366 00:55:48,966 --> 00:55:50,101 Yes, I am being a good... 1367 00:55:50,134 --> 00:55:50,968 That's so mean. 1368 00:55:51,001 --> 00:55:51,402 I led you... 1369 00:55:51,435 --> 00:55:52,403 Whoo! 1370 00:55:52,436 --> 00:55:53,938 Just go dance with her. 1371 00:55:53,971 --> 00:55:55,372 She's right fucking there, and she's asking for it. 1372 00:55:55,406 --> 00:55:56,173 She wants it. 1373 00:55:56,207 --> 00:55:57,640 It's not... No. 1374 00:55:57,674 --> 00:55:58,242 Go! 1375 00:55:58,275 --> 00:55:59,844 It's not the right time. 1376 00:55:59,877 --> 00:56:02,079 It is the right time. 1377 00:56:02,113 --> 00:56:03,746 Let me tell you a secret. 1378 00:56:03,781 --> 00:56:04,849 It is the right time. 1379 00:56:06,383 --> 00:56:07,785 What are you doing? 1380 00:56:07,818 --> 00:56:09,086 I'm cueing you. 1381 00:56:10,387 --> 00:56:11,088 Hi! 1382 00:56:11,122 --> 00:56:13,090 I bumped right... That's so crazy! 1383 00:56:14,291 --> 00:56:15,226 I didn't even mean to do that at all. 1384 00:56:15,259 --> 00:56:16,227 - Hi. - Hi. 1385 00:56:16,260 --> 00:56:18,162 You look so sexy. 1386 00:56:18,195 --> 00:56:18,829 Wow. 1387 00:56:18,863 --> 00:56:19,662 - Oh, my God. - Thank you. 1388 00:56:19,696 --> 00:56:21,432 We should make this thing happen. 1389 00:56:21,465 --> 00:56:22,967 - Oh, really? - Oh, we're leaving. 1390 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,335 - Alright, I love you. - We'll see you in a while. 1391 00:56:24,368 --> 00:56:25,735 - Bye. - Love you! 1392 00:56:31,876 --> 00:56:33,010 Hey, Summer. 1393 00:56:33,043 --> 00:56:34,445 - Hey! - Hi. 1394 00:56:34,478 --> 00:56:35,146 Made it! 1395 00:56:36,881 --> 00:56:38,748 Ass? 1396 00:56:38,782 --> 00:56:40,284 Um... Ac... actually... 1397 00:56:40,317 --> 00:56:41,385 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 1398 00:56:41,418 --> 00:56:42,253 I know it's Ace. 1399 00:56:42,286 --> 00:56:43,420 Oh, yeah. 1400 00:56:43,454 --> 00:56:44,054 Good one. 1401 00:56:44,088 --> 00:56:45,756 Ass. 1402 00:56:45,789 --> 00:56:47,158 Yeah, well, actually I have a... I have the invitation. 1403 00:56:47,191 --> 00:56:48,425 I brought it. 1404 00:56:48,459 --> 00:56:50,060 And you still have it? 1405 00:56:50,094 --> 00:56:51,462 Yeah. 1406 00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:53,730 Security didn't take it at the door? 1407 00:56:53,764 --> 00:56:56,333 Oh, uh, I didn't... I didn't see security there. 1408 00:56:56,367 --> 00:56:58,735 - What- - I'm fucking with you. 1409 00:56:58,769 --> 00:57:00,237 There's no security, It's not the airport. 1410 00:57:00,271 --> 00:57:00,971 Oh! 1411 00:57:02,373 --> 00:57:03,274 You know I think that you're the only person that 1412 00:57:03,307 --> 00:57:05,176 has that still. 1413 00:57:05,209 --> 00:57:08,245 Oh, uh, it just... it was nice. 1414 00:57:08,279 --> 00:57:10,014 Oh, my God, um... 1415 00:57:10,047 --> 00:57:11,182 What time is it? 1416 00:57:11,215 --> 00:57:13,851 Um, almost nine. 1417 00:57:14,485 --> 00:57:15,486 I have to go check the food. 1418 00:57:15,519 --> 00:57:17,054 - I'm so sorry. - Um... 1419 00:57:17,087 --> 00:57:17,922 Okay. 1420 00:57:17,955 --> 00:57:18,822 Stay. 1421 00:57:18,856 --> 00:57:19,456 Dance. 1422 00:57:19,490 --> 00:57:20,291 - Have fun! - Yeah. 1423 00:57:20,324 --> 00:57:22,692 No, I'll keep... I'll keep dancing. 1424 00:57:24,128 --> 00:57:25,462 Double dickin' it. 1425 00:57:30,367 --> 00:57:31,302 You know these clowns? 1426 00:57:31,335 --> 00:57:32,203 I know him. 1427 00:57:32,236 --> 00:57:33,103 I know him as Gilbert. 1428 00:57:33,137 --> 00:57:34,737 We play Fortnite together. 1429 00:57:34,772 --> 00:57:35,940 He's a sweet guy. 1430 00:57:35,973 --> 00:57:37,074 He said that you supply him all the time. 1431 00:57:37,107 --> 00:57:38,909 Oh, that adds up. 1432 00:57:38,943 --> 00:57:40,177 Take the ball gags out of their fucking mouths. 1433 00:57:42,346 --> 00:57:43,914 Thank you. 1434 00:57:43,948 --> 00:57:45,416 I... I think this is just all a huge misunderstanding. 1435 00:57:45,449 --> 00:57:47,084 Misunderstanding? 1436 00:57:47,117 --> 00:57:50,221 A misunderstand, no, no, this is not a misunderstanding. 1437 00:57:50,254 --> 00:57:54,425 This is a fuck up, that which cannot be un-fucked. 1438 00:57:54,458 --> 00:57:56,327 I throw these parties because they cater 1439 00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,395 to a very specific clientele base. 1440 00:57:58,429 --> 00:57:59,930 - The gays? - Yeah. 1441 00:57:59,964 --> 00:58:01,899 Gay guys have so much money because all they do 1442 00:58:01,932 --> 00:58:05,369 is look amazing, take vacations, fuck, and do drugs. 1443 00:58:05,402 --> 00:58:07,238 And I throw these parties knowing I will get back three 1444 00:58:07,271 --> 00:58:10,808 or four times the amount I put in as an investment. 1445 00:58:10,841 --> 00:58:11,875 It's called an ROI. 1446 00:58:11,909 --> 00:58:14,078 And you two fucking clowns thought it would be okay 1447 00:58:14,111 --> 00:58:16,547 to come in my house and steal my motherfucking money. 1448 00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:17,915 Look, I... I completely understand 1449 00:58:17,948 --> 00:58:19,116 where you're coming from, Lady Victoria. 1450 00:58:19,149 --> 00:58:21,552 You seem to have a very strong sense of entrepreneurship, 1451 00:58:21,585 --> 00:58:23,420 but... but I actually graduate high school pretty soon, 1452 00:58:23,454 --> 00:58:24,955 so maybe I can work off that debt. 1453 00:58:24,989 --> 00:58:26,090 Shut the fuck up. 1454 00:58:26,123 --> 00:58:27,124 - Justin! - Yeah? 1455 00:58:27,157 --> 00:58:28,292 Did he just say highschool? 1456 00:58:28,325 --> 00:58:31,562 Uh... I wasn't listening, 1457 00:58:31,595 --> 00:58:33,297 but I'm sending you my deepest apologies. 1458 00:58:33,330 --> 00:58:35,432 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1459 00:58:35,466 --> 00:58:37,835 Jimmy, I'm keeping your fuckin' Porsche. 1460 00:58:37,868 --> 00:58:39,103 You can say goodbye to that pussy magnet. 1461 00:58:39,136 --> 00:58:41,238 With all due respect, Miss White Lady, 1462 00:58:41,272 --> 00:58:42,106 you can't have my Porsche. 1463 00:58:42,139 --> 00:58:43,007 It's a dealership vehicle. 1464 00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:44,141 Oh, 'cause it's a dealership vehicle? 1465 00:58:44,174 --> 00:58:45,075 Yeah, they'll come after you. 1466 00:58:45,109 --> 00:58:46,010 I'll go to fucking Porsche jail? 1467 00:58:46,043 --> 00:58:47,444 Give her the Porsche. 1468 00:58:47,478 --> 00:58:48,479 - I'm not giving her my Porsche. - Give her the Porsche. 1469 00:58:48,512 --> 00:58:49,847 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1470 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:50,781 Give her the Porsche. 1471 00:58:50,814 --> 00:58:51,382 I ain't giving her no damn Porsche, man. 1472 00:58:51,415 --> 00:58:53,150 Then we'll fuckin' die. 1473 00:58:53,183 --> 00:58:54,585 If either of you two ever come near me again or ruin 1474 00:58:54,618 --> 00:58:57,021 one of my parties, I will personally 1475 00:58:57,054 --> 00:58:58,589 be responsible for burning both 1476 00:58:58,622 --> 00:59:01,458 of your useless fucking dicks off. 1477 00:59:01,492 --> 00:59:03,427 That makes it... that makes it sound like one of you 1478 00:59:03,460 --> 00:59:04,561 might have two dicks. 1479 00:59:04,595 --> 00:59:06,497 Okay, to clarify, you both have one dick 1480 00:59:06,530 --> 00:59:08,565 and I'm burning that dick off. 1481 00:59:09,500 --> 00:59:10,401 The keys are in his pocket. 1482 00:59:17,241 --> 00:59:18,142 Okay. 1483 00:59:18,175 --> 00:59:18,575 Hey! 1484 00:59:18,609 --> 00:59:19,576 Hey, Chad. 1485 00:59:19,610 --> 00:59:20,978 How you doing, man? 1486 00:59:21,011 --> 00:59:22,146 Wh... are you having a good time, Ace, right? 1487 00:59:22,179 --> 00:59:23,947 Uh, yeah. 1488 00:59:23,981 --> 00:59:25,149 Yeah, thanks, man. 1489 00:59:25,182 --> 00:59:26,283 Just got here, so. 1490 00:59:26,317 --> 00:59:27,885 Listen, um, 1491 00:59:30,587 --> 00:59:33,457 You like Summer, right? 1492 00:59:33,490 --> 00:59:35,359 Uh, she's... she's cool. 1493 00:59:35,392 --> 00:59:37,294 Man, she's beyond cool. 1494 00:59:37,328 --> 00:59:37,861 Am I right, Matt? 1495 00:59:37,895 --> 00:59:39,630 Like, bro, of course. 1496 00:59:39,663 --> 00:59:42,199 We know she your baddy, brah. 1497 00:59:42,232 --> 00:59:43,901 - I don't... - Listen, listen. 1498 00:59:43,934 --> 00:59:45,903 You know, we're... we're both handsome guys. 1499 00:59:45,936 --> 00:59:47,905 We skip dessert every now and then. 1500 00:59:47,938 --> 00:59:49,173 No hard feelings. 1501 00:59:52,609 --> 00:59:54,244 May the best man win. 1502 00:59:55,379 --> 00:59:56,213 What? 1503 00:59:57,147 --> 00:59:58,048 Get outta here, man! 1504 00:59:58,082 --> 00:59:58,916 You too! 1505 00:59:58,949 --> 01:00:00,351 Oh, man! 1506 01:00:02,619 --> 01:00:04,555 I cannot go back to work without that Porsche, man. 1507 01:00:04,588 --> 01:00:06,490 Why can't you just tell them it was stolen? 1508 01:00:06,523 --> 01:00:09,159 Because I've used that excuse like a thousand times. 1509 01:00:13,230 --> 01:00:14,531 Bingo, bitch! 1510 01:00:14,833 --> 01:00:17,134 How're we gonna get it outta there? 1511 01:00:17,167 --> 01:00:18,102 Um... 1512 01:00:27,444 --> 01:00:28,512 What are you doing, man? 1513 01:00:30,047 --> 01:00:30,914 What are you looking for? 1514 01:00:30,948 --> 01:00:31,682 Uh... 1515 01:00:32,383 --> 01:00:33,283 This. 1516 01:00:34,284 --> 01:00:35,119 Are you sure about this? 1517 01:00:36,587 --> 01:00:38,222 You're welcome to call an Uber. 1518 01:00:38,255 --> 01:00:39,556 I don't have any fucking pants on. 1519 01:00:39,590 --> 01:00:41,091 My phone was in my pants. 1520 01:00:41,125 --> 01:00:41,692 Exactly. 1521 01:00:41,725 --> 01:00:42,626 Get in. 1522 01:00:44,561 --> 01:00:45,195 Fuck! 1523 01:00:46,563 --> 01:00:48,632 Oh, God! 1524 01:00:48,665 --> 01:00:51,201 This was uh, this was a fucking mistake. 1525 01:00:53,937 --> 01:00:55,305 Another fucking condom! 1526 01:00:56,473 --> 01:00:57,574 Oh, shit! 1527 01:00:59,176 --> 01:01:00,377 What the fuck was that? 1528 01:01:00,411 --> 01:01:00,911 Nothing. 1529 01:01:00,944 --> 01:01:01,945 I just pooted, man. 1530 01:01:01,979 --> 01:01:02,413 Relax. 1531 01:01:02,446 --> 01:01:03,647 In my face, man? 1532 01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:05,349 We are in a tube of shit. 1533 01:01:05,382 --> 01:01:07,050 I can't fuckin' breathe, man! 1534 01:01:07,084 --> 01:01:08,051 Come on. 1535 01:01:09,753 --> 01:01:11,622 Uh... My back's all fucked up right now. 1536 01:01:13,223 --> 01:01:14,224 You know I've got problems with my knees. 1537 01:01:16,326 --> 01:01:17,227 - What the fuck? - I know. 1538 01:01:17,261 --> 01:01:18,095 - What the fuck? - I know. 1539 01:01:18,128 --> 01:01:19,229 - What the fuck? - I know. 1540 01:01:19,263 --> 01:01:20,964 - So get rid of it! - I can't! 1541 01:01:20,998 --> 01:01:22,599 If I let it go, it's gonna bite the shit out of me, alright. 1542 01:01:22,633 --> 01:01:23,967 - Do you want that to happen? - No. 1543 01:01:24,001 --> 01:01:24,568 - Do you? - No! 1544 01:01:24,601 --> 01:01:25,736 - Do you? - No! 1545 01:01:25,770 --> 01:01:27,271 Let's find something to kill it with. 1546 01:01:27,304 --> 01:01:29,373 I'll go get the car. 1547 01:01:32,109 --> 01:01:33,177 Snake! 1548 01:01:33,210 --> 01:01:36,747 Why do I got to keep seeing you? Mm? 1549 01:01:36,781 --> 01:01:38,081 What did I say? 1550 01:01:38,115 --> 01:01:39,650 Hey! 1551 01:01:39,683 --> 01:01:42,052 Why do I have to keep dealing with you and your tiny twin? 1552 01:01:42,085 --> 01:01:43,086 Wait, where's your tiny twin? 1553 01:01:55,566 --> 01:01:56,400 I killed her. 1554 01:01:56,433 --> 01:01:57,501 I fucking killed her, man. 1555 01:01:57,534 --> 01:01:58,735 Shit! 1556 01:01:58,770 --> 01:02:00,537 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! 1557 01:02:00,571 --> 01:02:02,506 Stop! 1558 01:02:02,539 --> 01:02:04,575 She's fine, alright. 1559 01:02:04,608 --> 01:02:06,143 I'm sure this isn't the first time she's been hit 1560 01:02:06,176 --> 01:02:08,780 in the head with a fucking shovel. 1561 01:02:08,813 --> 01:02:11,648 And what the fuck is your problem, man? 1562 01:02:11,682 --> 01:02:13,617 You're the reason why we're even in this shit. 1563 01:02:13,650 --> 01:02:14,886 You want to rob people and shit. 1564 01:02:14,919 --> 01:02:17,354 You need to stop it, 'cause you're not good at it, Jimmy. 1565 01:02:17,387 --> 01:02:19,056 You suck at it, Jimmy. 1566 01:02:25,729 --> 01:02:32,469 A thirty year-old grown ass man who lives in his dad's basement. 1567 01:02:32,503 --> 01:02:36,440 I've accomplished nothing, literally nothing. 1568 01:02:39,376 --> 01:02:44,548 Now I'm sitting here in my boxers 1569 01:02:44,581 --> 01:02:49,419 covered in sewage with fucking snake semen in my eyes. 1570 01:02:55,425 --> 01:02:56,727 She didn't burn our dicks off. 1571 01:03:06,103 --> 01:03:07,839 I think I'm gonna call it a night. 1572 01:03:07,872 --> 01:03:09,306 I'm not really in the mood to party. 1573 01:03:11,375 --> 01:03:13,443 Do you think I could come inside and take a shower, 1574 01:03:13,477 --> 01:03:15,445 borrow some clothes? 1575 01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:17,347 Okay. 1576 01:03:21,218 --> 01:03:23,153 I have someone else's shit in my ass. 1577 01:03:37,668 --> 01:03:39,536 Hey, ladies and gentlemen, 1578 01:03:39,570 --> 01:03:42,439 can I get your attention, please? 1579 01:03:42,472 --> 01:03:44,274 What do you think? 1580 01:03:44,308 --> 01:03:46,510 Let's have a motherfucking dance off! 1581 01:04:00,758 --> 01:04:02,192 Boy, you look goofy as hell. 1582 01:04:02,225 --> 01:04:03,627 What do you have me wearing? 1583 01:04:03,660 --> 01:04:06,163 You look like a 90s lesbian, 1584 01:04:06,196 --> 01:04:08,465 like a blackened blueberry. 1585 01:04:08,498 --> 01:04:10,500 You wanna play? 1586 01:04:10,534 --> 01:04:11,468 Get that, get that. 1587 01:04:11,501 --> 01:04:12,703 Yeah, give me all of that. 1588 01:04:12,736 --> 01:04:13,871 Oh, got you shawty. 1589 01:04:13,905 --> 01:04:14,839 Oh, my God! 1590 01:04:14,872 --> 01:04:15,873 Got you shawty. 1591 01:04:15,907 --> 01:04:16,707 Yeah. 1592 01:04:16,740 --> 01:04:17,741 Yeah. 1593 01:04:17,775 --> 01:04:18,843 Why am I going... 1594 01:04:18,876 --> 01:04:21,645 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 1595 01:04:21,678 --> 01:04:25,716 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 1596 01:04:25,749 --> 01:04:29,753 - ♪ Happy Birthday, dear Jimmy ♪ - Oh, my God. 1597 01:04:29,787 --> 01:04:35,158 ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪ 1598 01:04:35,192 --> 01:04:36,159 Birthday? 1599 01:04:37,829 --> 01:04:40,597 So, how you fellas gonna celebrate this event? 1600 01:04:41,565 --> 01:04:45,535 Well, I had this really cool party lined up for tonight. 1601 01:04:45,569 --> 01:04:46,804 Oh. 1602 01:04:46,838 --> 01:04:49,239 But your son here's playing hardball with me. 1603 01:04:49,272 --> 01:04:50,440 It's a high school party. 1604 01:04:51,776 --> 01:04:52,777 Hmm. 1605 01:04:52,810 --> 01:04:54,745 That's fine. 1606 01:04:54,779 --> 01:04:59,383 I was hoping for some father and son time anyway. 1607 01:04:59,416 --> 01:05:04,889 You know, I think "Casablanca" is on TCM again. 1608 01:05:04,922 --> 01:05:09,794 I could fix some popcorn and s'mores. 1609 01:05:09,827 --> 01:05:11,896 We can hang around, you know. 1610 01:05:12,964 --> 01:05:14,197 Fuck you, Dad. 1611 01:05:21,005 --> 01:05:24,741 Attention Unit 3465, we have reports that a Porsche, 1612 01:05:24,776 --> 01:05:27,477 tinted windows, no plate heading westbound, 1613 01:05:27,511 --> 01:05:29,546 Highway 84 towards downtown. 1614 01:05:29,579 --> 01:05:30,514 Please respond immediately. 1615 01:05:30,547 --> 01:05:31,849 Goddamn it! 1616 01:05:31,883 --> 01:05:33,350 I'm not even gonna be able to finish my dinner now. 1617 01:05:41,324 --> 01:05:42,693 Ooh, this place is nice! 1618 01:05:44,594 --> 01:05:46,229 I'll go look for my buddy. 1619 01:05:46,263 --> 01:05:47,698 Alright. 1620 01:05:47,731 --> 01:05:48,732 Do your thing, man. 1621 01:05:48,766 --> 01:05:49,366 Give me that shit. 1622 01:05:49,399 --> 01:05:50,534 Hey, man, that's my drink. 1623 01:05:50,567 --> 01:05:51,735 Yeah, I know. 1624 01:05:52,202 --> 01:05:53,437 I don't want any fights from you. 1625 01:05:53,470 --> 01:05:55,405 Yeah, I know. 1626 01:05:55,439 --> 01:05:56,440 With your lemon shirt. 1627 01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:16,928 Looks like it's your turn, buddy. 1628 01:06:24,468 --> 01:06:25,669 Holy shit, boy! 1629 01:06:40,550 --> 01:06:41,786 What are you doing? 1630 01:06:41,819 --> 01:06:43,453 - We need to do this. - Do what? 1631 01:06:43,487 --> 01:06:44,122 - Dance. - Dan... 1632 01:06:44,155 --> 01:06:44,822 We're not dancing right now. 1633 01:06:44,856 --> 01:06:45,722 Yes, we are dancing right now. 1634 01:06:45,757 --> 01:06:47,657 - Yeah, we are. - No, we're not dancing. 1635 01:06:47,691 --> 01:06:48,893 - You know why? - Why? 1636 01:06:51,528 --> 01:06:52,897 What are they doing? 1637 01:06:55,732 --> 01:06:57,334 Always got your back, and you know it, man. 1638 01:06:57,367 --> 01:06:58,368 I've got your back. 1639 01:06:59,469 --> 01:07:00,303 I've got you. 1640 01:07:15,552 --> 01:07:19,389 No, I don't know why you're not there 1641 01:07:19,422 --> 01:07:23,094 I give you my love, but you don't care 1642 01:07:23,127 --> 01:07:26,931 So what is right and what is wrong? 1643 01:07:26,964 --> 01:07:29,066 Give me a sign 1644 01:07:29,100 --> 01:07:30,835 What is love? 1645 01:07:30,868 --> 01:07:33,403 Oh, baby, don't hurt me 1646 01:07:33,436 --> 01:07:36,841 Don't hurt me, no more 1647 01:07:36,874 --> 01:07:38,642 What is love? 1648 01:07:38,675 --> 01:07:40,978 Oh, baby, don't hurt me 1649 01:07:41,012 --> 01:07:44,347 Don't hurt me, no more 1650 01:08:05,803 --> 01:08:06,871 Lemon. 1651 01:08:09,807 --> 01:08:13,610 No, I don't know what can I do? 1652 01:08:13,643 --> 01:08:17,547 What else can I say? It's up to you 1653 01:08:17,581 --> 01:08:19,382 I know we're one... 1654 01:08:19,416 --> 01:08:20,885 I love you, Ace! 1655 01:08:20,918 --> 01:08:23,054 I can't go on 1656 01:08:23,921 --> 01:08:24,688 What is love? 1657 01:08:31,996 --> 01:08:33,130 Why do we not notice him? 1658 01:08:33,164 --> 01:08:35,465 Why can't we join in right now? 1659 01:08:35,498 --> 01:08:37,601 Ace, go Ace, go Ace... 1660 01:08:47,211 --> 01:08:48,445 What is love? 1661 01:09:00,892 --> 01:09:03,593 It's not about how hard you get hit. 1662 01:09:04,762 --> 01:09:06,163 It's about how fast you get back up. 1663 01:09:12,003 --> 01:09:12,602 I'm sorry, pal. 1664 01:09:12,636 --> 01:09:14,839 You did you did your best. 1665 01:09:14,872 --> 01:09:16,207 Man, I'm just trying to show love, bro. 1666 01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:19,110 Hey, funny little dude. 1667 01:09:19,143 --> 01:09:20,845 I didn't know you could dance like that. 1668 01:09:20,878 --> 01:09:22,679 Yeah, well, there's a lot of things we don't know 1669 01:09:22,712 --> 01:09:23,781 about each other, baby. 1670 01:09:25,615 --> 01:09:27,717 - I crossed the line. - You absolutely did. 1671 01:09:27,751 --> 01:09:29,486 - I can't call you, baby? - You definitely cannot. 1672 01:09:29,519 --> 01:09:31,122 You're right. 1673 01:09:31,155 --> 01:09:31,756 You're very right. 1674 01:09:31,789 --> 01:09:32,957 Can we start over, please? 1675 01:09:34,091 --> 01:09:35,692 Sure. 1676 01:09:35,725 --> 01:09:37,560 - Gilbert. - Ava. 1677 01:09:39,230 --> 01:09:40,563 - Would you like to dance? - Hi. 1678 01:09:42,499 --> 01:09:43,667 Have fun. 1679 01:10:03,854 --> 01:10:06,123 That was um... 1680 01:10:06,157 --> 01:10:08,192 It's was a lot of fun to watch. 1681 01:10:08,225 --> 01:10:08,893 Thank... thanks. 1682 01:10:08,926 --> 01:10:10,560 Yeah, I've worked on it a lot. 1683 01:10:10,593 --> 01:10:11,695 I can tell. 1684 01:10:13,730 --> 01:10:15,900 Do you want to dance? 1685 01:10:15,933 --> 01:10:18,135 You wa... you want to dance with me? 1686 01:10:18,169 --> 01:10:19,170 Yes. 1687 01:10:21,072 --> 01:10:22,840 Yeah, just give me one second. 1688 01:10:24,108 --> 01:10:24,976 Okay. 1689 01:10:25,009 --> 01:10:25,776 Cool. 1690 01:10:33,451 --> 01:10:34,819 Where the fuck did that dance routine come from? 1691 01:10:34,852 --> 01:10:36,220 Okay, so it's a game me and Neil play. 1692 01:10:36,253 --> 01:10:37,822 No, that is something you guys rehearsed. 1693 01:10:37,855 --> 01:10:38,621 No, see, no. 1694 01:10:38,655 --> 01:10:40,157 Your timing was tight. 1695 01:10:40,191 --> 01:10:41,859 I don't want y'all to think we just be in the rooms like... 1696 01:10:41,892 --> 01:10:43,560 You guys do that every night before you go to bed. 1697 01:10:43,593 --> 01:10:44,261 - 100% right? - No, no, no. 1698 01:10:44,295 --> 01:10:45,595 Do you know what I'm saying? 1699 01:10:45,628 --> 01:10:46,797 I believe you this much. 1700 01:10:54,205 --> 01:10:55,940 You're doing great. 1701 01:10:57,607 --> 01:10:58,075 You're doing great! 1702 01:11:06,649 --> 01:11:08,019 Sorry it had to be like this, bro. 1703 01:11:13,224 --> 01:11:15,159 Oh, my God! 1704 01:11:15,192 --> 01:11:16,559 Oh, my God! 1705 01:11:36,746 --> 01:11:38,315 Aw, man, gross! 1706 01:11:39,716 --> 01:11:40,550 Are you alright? 1707 01:11:40,583 --> 01:11:42,286 - That looked gnarly. - Fuck you, man! 1708 01:11:42,319 --> 01:11:43,320 Hey, whoa! 1709 01:11:43,354 --> 01:11:44,955 What the hell just happened? 1710 01:11:44,989 --> 01:11:46,323 They pushed the porta potty in the pool. 1711 01:11:46,357 --> 01:11:47,024 That's a lie. 1712 01:11:47,058 --> 01:11:47,657 Did you fuckin' do this, Chad? 1713 01:11:47,690 --> 01:11:49,226 What? Why would I do that? 1714 01:11:49,260 --> 01:11:50,693 This guy's our good friend, 1715 01:11:50,727 --> 01:11:52,363 not to mention hell of a dancer. 1716 01:11:52,396 --> 01:11:53,864 Aw, why would you do that? 1717 01:11:55,299 --> 01:11:56,901 Oh! 1718 01:11:56,934 --> 01:11:58,369 I'm not sorry it had to be like this, bro. 1719 01:12:01,205 --> 01:12:02,073 Freak! 1720 01:12:02,106 --> 01:12:02,940 This is nasty! 1721 01:12:02,973 --> 01:12:04,741 Get out! 1722 01:12:04,775 --> 01:12:06,143 Get out of my party right now. 1723 01:12:06,177 --> 01:12:07,812 - What the fuck did we do? - Just get out! 1724 01:12:09,712 --> 01:12:11,182 Hey, guys, five-O is here! 1725 01:12:11,215 --> 01:12:12,083 Five-O! 1726 01:12:12,116 --> 01:12:14,285 Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go! 1727 01:12:14,318 --> 01:12:16,120 Hey! Let's go! 1728 01:12:17,922 --> 01:12:18,355 Go! 1729 01:12:20,657 --> 01:12:21,292 Come on! 1730 01:12:24,829 --> 01:12:26,230 Gilbert, come on! 1731 01:12:29,900 --> 01:12:31,102 Oh, shit! 1732 01:12:34,271 --> 01:12:35,106 What are we gonna do? 1733 01:12:35,139 --> 01:12:37,041 Um, come on. 1734 01:12:37,740 --> 01:12:38,708 Come on, come on. 1735 01:12:38,741 --> 01:12:40,677 Wait for me, wait for me! 1736 01:12:40,710 --> 01:12:42,012 Goddamn it. 1737 01:12:42,046 --> 01:12:43,280 I miss high school parties. 1738 01:12:50,955 --> 01:12:51,922 Yes! 1739 01:12:59,763 --> 01:13:00,764 Let's do this. 1740 01:13:03,733 --> 01:13:04,835 That could use some oil. 1741 01:13:06,736 --> 01:13:08,272 What the fuck is wrong with the garage door? 1742 01:13:10,007 --> 01:13:11,275 Jesus Christ. 1743 01:13:12,276 --> 01:13:12,843 Look at these... 1744 01:13:12,877 --> 01:13:14,178 Yeah, this is a party. 1745 01:13:25,789 --> 01:13:27,424 That was that fat motherfucker from Food Mart. 1746 01:13:34,064 --> 01:13:35,833 Right? Right? 1747 01:13:35,866 --> 01:13:37,201 Don't you love the sound of those sirens? 1748 01:13:37,234 --> 01:13:38,869 Yeah, that's why I'm a cop. 1749 01:13:41,906 --> 01:13:43,107 I'm too young to go to jail, man. 1750 01:13:43,140 --> 01:13:46,243 Ain't going to jail, not on my watch. 1751 01:13:50,314 --> 01:13:52,883 - Want some? - Yeah. 1752 01:13:52,917 --> 01:13:54,985 I fuckin' didn't get to finish my shit earlier. 1753 01:13:56,453 --> 01:13:58,355 Could I have some of that soda, please? 1754 01:13:58,389 --> 01:13:59,456 No. 1755 01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:11,468 Oh, hey, did I tell you I was cutting out dairy? 1756 01:14:11,502 --> 01:14:12,269 Yeah. 1757 01:14:12,303 --> 01:14:13,237 I noticed. 1758 01:14:13,270 --> 01:14:14,104 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1759 01:14:14,138 --> 01:14:15,839 You ask for no cheese on the burger. 1760 01:14:15,873 --> 01:14:17,041 Yeah, I'm not fuckin' around anymore, man. 1761 01:14:24,148 --> 01:14:24,915 Goddamn. 1762 01:14:26,984 --> 01:14:28,819 Right? Right? 1763 01:14:33,257 --> 01:14:34,391 What the fuck are we gonna do now? 1764 01:14:40,864 --> 01:14:43,500 Sorry, kid, shit's about to get real complicated. 1765 01:14:46,003 --> 01:14:48,405 I will find them and I will kill them myself. 1766 01:14:50,140 --> 01:14:51,242 It's pretty good. 1767 01:14:55,179 --> 01:14:56,280 Fuck! 1768 01:14:56,313 --> 01:14:58,916 Why would you do that? 1769 01:14:58,949 --> 01:15:00,851 What is your problems, man? 1770 01:15:01,751 --> 01:15:03,287 There's only one way out of here, man. 1771 01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:04,521 We've got to get creative. 1772 01:15:04,555 --> 01:15:05,856 What you about to do, dumbass? 1773 01:15:05,889 --> 01:15:06,490 I'm sorry. 1774 01:15:07,157 --> 01:15:07,558 Yo. 1775 01:15:07,591 --> 01:15:09,226 Oh, fuck! 1776 01:15:09,260 --> 01:15:10,294 I'm sorry. 1777 01:15:10,327 --> 01:15:11,362 - Why? - Why? 1778 01:15:11,395 --> 01:15:12,396 - Why? - Sorry. 1779 01:15:12,429 --> 01:15:13,097 - Why? - Why? 1780 01:15:13,130 --> 01:15:14,798 - Why? - I don't know, man. 1781 01:15:14,832 --> 01:15:16,100 I'm sorry, man. 1782 01:15:16,133 --> 01:15:17,501 You just shot me. 1783 01:15:22,940 --> 01:15:24,842 - Why? - Shit, I don't know, man. 1784 01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:25,976 Why? 1785 01:15:26,010 --> 01:15:27,111 Oh, shit! 1786 01:15:28,279 --> 01:15:29,980 You happy? We've even now. 1787 01:15:30,014 --> 01:15:31,181 Why did you do that? 1788 01:15:31,215 --> 01:15:32,483 I don't know, I see why you was screaming. 1789 01:15:32,516 --> 01:15:34,318 That shit hurt. 1790 01:15:34,351 --> 01:15:35,519 You got to trust me. 1791 01:15:35,552 --> 01:15:37,521 Let me do the talking. 1792 01:15:37,554 --> 01:15:40,357 Do not say anything to the fucking cops, okay? 1793 01:15:40,391 --> 01:15:41,458 I mean this shit hurts, man. 1794 01:15:41,492 --> 01:15:42,559 Oh man, I know, nigga! 1795 01:15:42,593 --> 01:15:44,128 I just shot me! 1796 01:15:44,161 --> 01:15:45,429 I know. 1797 01:15:46,163 --> 01:15:49,233 Goddamnit man, I regret this! 1798 01:15:53,003 --> 01:15:53,904 Catch! 1799 01:15:57,608 --> 01:15:58,609 Sorry, ladies, that concludes the joyride portion 1800 01:15:58,642 --> 01:15:59,576 of your evening. 1801 01:15:59,610 --> 01:16:00,444 It's time to pay the piper. 1802 01:16:00,711 --> 01:16:01,912 Officer, help! 1803 01:16:01,945 --> 01:16:03,180 We've just been shot. 1804 01:16:03,213 --> 01:16:04,181 We need to go to the hospital. 1805 01:16:04,214 --> 01:16:06,617 This... this maniac just went apeshit on us! 1806 01:16:08,185 --> 01:16:11,021 Told you, inside job. 1807 01:16:11,055 --> 01:16:12,156 You're so good. 1808 01:16:13,290 --> 01:16:16,093 Oh, buddy, you know the drill. 1809 01:16:16,126 --> 01:16:17,027 Gun down on the ground. 1810 01:16:17,061 --> 01:16:18,929 Do it, now! 1811 01:16:18,962 --> 01:16:20,531 Lay down, Apu! 1812 01:16:20,564 --> 01:16:21,498 Do it, now! 1813 01:16:21,532 --> 01:16:22,866 Put the gun on the ground, Apu. 1814 01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:25,436 Do it, now! 1815 01:16:25,469 --> 01:16:26,970 I got a goddamn headache from that. 1816 01:16:29,506 --> 01:16:32,609 Forgot to give Summer her favourite chocolate. 1817 01:16:32,643 --> 01:16:35,012 Okay, and who cares? 1818 01:16:35,045 --> 01:16:35,612 It's chocolate. 1819 01:16:35,646 --> 01:16:36,980 She'll live without it. 1820 01:16:37,014 --> 01:16:38,248 Yeah, I guess she will. 1821 01:16:43,220 --> 01:16:44,321 What? 1822 01:16:47,358 --> 01:16:50,294 Neil, I know girls. 1823 01:16:50,327 --> 01:16:53,330 Okay, you know that I know girls. 1824 01:16:53,364 --> 01:16:56,133 Summer is a normal, down to earth, girl. 1825 01:16:56,166 --> 01:16:57,368 She doesn't give a shit about all the bullshit 1826 01:16:57,401 --> 01:16:59,503 you think she cares about. 1827 01:16:59,536 --> 01:17:01,672 And, you know what, Neil? 1828 01:17:01,705 --> 01:17:07,010 As much as I fuckin' hate saying this, you're kind of funny, 1829 01:17:07,044 --> 01:17:08,579 and you're a super-talented pervert, 1830 01:17:08,612 --> 01:17:10,047 so just go and fucking talk to her. 1831 01:17:15,586 --> 01:17:16,487 No fuckin' way. 1832 01:17:16,520 --> 01:17:19,256 Why not? What the fuck is wrong with you? 1833 01:17:19,289 --> 01:17:20,624 You've literally been beating off to Summer 1834 01:17:20,657 --> 01:17:22,626 for the past five years. 1835 01:17:22,659 --> 01:17:24,228 I'm not gonna let you give up now, needle dick. 1836 01:17:24,261 --> 01:17:25,129 Go and talk to her. 1837 01:17:25,162 --> 01:17:26,930 I'm not going back there. 1838 01:17:26,964 --> 01:17:27,664 She's sitting over there with... 1839 01:17:27,698 --> 01:17:29,233 with shit in her pool right now. 1840 01:17:29,266 --> 01:17:30,334 It's not the right time. 1841 01:17:32,035 --> 01:17:34,037 Can I tell you a secret? 1842 01:17:35,172 --> 01:17:37,975 The right time is now. 1843 01:17:38,008 --> 01:17:39,543 - Jaclyn, stop... - Now! 1844 01:17:39,576 --> 01:17:41,011 - I can't hit you back. - Go! 1845 01:17:41,044 --> 01:17:42,179 Stop hitting me. 1846 01:17:42,212 --> 01:17:44,047 Promise to talk to me, just don't hit me. 1847 01:17:44,681 --> 01:17:46,183 Okay, fine. 1848 01:17:46,216 --> 01:17:47,184 God. 1849 01:17:50,554 --> 01:17:51,989 Just go! 1850 01:17:52,556 --> 01:17:53,424 Fuck! 1851 01:17:53,457 --> 01:17:54,258 Okay. 1852 01:17:55,159 --> 01:17:57,294 Fine! 1853 01:17:57,327 --> 01:17:58,328 Alright, see ya later. 1854 01:18:07,237 --> 01:18:08,605 Fucking clean up my own party. 1855 01:18:08,639 --> 01:18:09,440 Jesus. 1856 01:18:12,409 --> 01:18:13,510 Hey! 1857 01:18:15,646 --> 01:18:17,514 Can I help you? 1858 01:18:17,548 --> 01:18:19,049 No, I live here. 1859 01:18:20,250 --> 01:18:21,518 Can I help you? 1860 01:18:21,552 --> 01:18:23,220 I... it's just... it's a mess out here, 1861 01:18:23,253 --> 01:18:25,022 so I figured you could use some help. 1862 01:18:25,055 --> 01:18:27,357 No, I just want to be alone. 1863 01:18:27,391 --> 01:18:28,192 Thanks. 1864 01:18:32,797 --> 01:18:35,666 I brought you a birthday present. 1865 01:18:38,535 --> 01:18:39,636 Those are my favourite. 1866 01:18:42,172 --> 01:18:42,673 How'd you know? 1867 01:18:42,706 --> 01:18:43,707 Are you stalking me? 1868 01:18:44,575 --> 01:18:46,043 Yeah. 1869 01:18:46,076 --> 01:18:47,744 No, no. 1870 01:18:47,779 --> 01:18:50,714 No, really, I... I mean, like, I've been through your Instagram 1871 01:18:50,747 --> 01:18:55,052 and ha-harmless online stuff, but not, uh, not drive-bys 1872 01:18:55,085 --> 01:18:57,087 or anything, anything wild. 1873 01:18:57,721 --> 01:18:58,756 Okay. 1874 01:19:00,624 --> 01:19:03,293 As long as it's just Instagram stalking. 1875 01:19:06,129 --> 01:19:07,164 Cheers! 1876 01:19:14,238 --> 01:19:17,074 Oh, wow, you got, um, 1877 01:19:17,107 --> 01:19:19,176 you've got like a lot of chocolate in your teeth. 1878 01:19:19,209 --> 01:19:20,611 Oh! 1879 01:19:20,644 --> 01:19:23,247 It kind of looks like you took a swim in my pool, Neil. 1880 01:19:23,280 --> 01:19:24,147 Sorry. 1881 01:19:27,251 --> 01:19:29,052 What'd you just call me? 1882 01:19:29,086 --> 01:19:29,787 Neil. 1883 01:19:30,220 --> 01:19:32,222 It's your name, right? 1884 01:19:32,689 --> 01:19:33,724 Um... 1885 01:19:35,692 --> 01:19:36,693 What's wrong? 1886 01:19:44,134 --> 01:19:45,369 What is it? 1887 01:19:47,237 --> 01:19:48,105 Nothing, nothing. 1888 01:19:48,138 --> 01:19:50,707 Um, no I'm fine. 1889 01:19:51,575 --> 01:19:53,143 Mm-kay. 1890 01:19:54,344 --> 01:19:58,682 You know what really pisses me off about all of this? 1891 01:19:58,715 --> 01:20:00,117 None of this was even for me. 1892 01:20:01,485 --> 01:20:03,287 It was for everyone else, 1893 01:20:03,687 --> 01:20:05,389 because if it was for me I would have just gone to dinner 1894 01:20:05,422 --> 01:20:06,456 with a bunch of friends. 1895 01:20:07,859 --> 01:20:10,127 Girls really just have it harder than guys do. 1896 01:20:10,160 --> 01:20:11,361 No offense. 1897 01:20:12,596 --> 01:20:14,231 Because we're always trying to please people 1898 01:20:14,264 --> 01:20:17,501 and avoid the aggressive douchebags like Chad 1899 01:20:17,534 --> 01:20:19,536 and this new guy named Ace. 1900 01:20:19,570 --> 01:20:20,404 Hmm. 1901 01:20:20,838 --> 01:20:22,139 Dick. 1902 01:20:22,172 --> 01:20:24,809 I hate dicks, but to be honest with you, 1903 01:20:24,842 --> 01:20:28,545 sometimes I wish I had one, a dick, like a bigass dick, 1904 01:20:28,579 --> 01:20:30,147 'cause I think that it would just make my life 1905 01:20:30,180 --> 01:20:31,181 so much easier. 1906 01:20:31,214 --> 01:20:32,215 A bigass dick. 1907 01:20:34,819 --> 01:20:38,622 I don't know if you need a... a bigass dick, um. 1908 01:20:38,655 --> 01:20:39,824 I hate bigass dicks. 1909 01:20:39,857 --> 01:20:41,391 I... I hate dicks in general. 1910 01:20:41,425 --> 01:20:45,162 I mean, my crazy sister always says that 1911 01:20:45,195 --> 01:20:47,230 her gender's always had it rougher 1912 01:20:47,264 --> 01:20:48,766 because historically they've been treated 1913 01:20:48,800 --> 01:20:49,801 more poorly, so... 1914 01:20:49,834 --> 01:20:50,367 Hmm. 1915 01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:51,468 I'm-I'm on your side. 1916 01:20:51,501 --> 01:20:52,202 I'm on your team. 1917 01:20:52,235 --> 01:20:52,804 Who needs dicks? 1918 01:20:54,371 --> 01:20:55,305 It's good to know. 1919 01:20:55,339 --> 01:20:56,540 Size doesn't really matter. 1920 01:20:59,710 --> 01:21:00,878 Mm. 1921 01:21:03,815 --> 01:21:05,716 Are you hungry, 1922 01:21:05,749 --> 01:21:08,151 because I know a great place we could go. 1923 01:21:11,355 --> 01:21:12,924 - There you guys go. - Yeah, thank you. 1924 01:21:12,957 --> 01:21:15,359 And don't forget that catfish jelly is really great on it. 1925 01:21:15,392 --> 01:21:16,360 But not too much. 1926 01:21:17,427 --> 01:21:18,161 Neil? 1927 01:21:18,195 --> 01:21:19,162 Hi! 1928 01:21:19,196 --> 01:21:19,897 Hey, Dad. 1929 01:21:19,931 --> 01:21:21,732 Um, this... this is Summer. 1930 01:21:21,766 --> 01:21:22,499 Hi. 1931 01:21:22,532 --> 01:21:24,601 Summer, hey. 1932 01:21:24,635 --> 01:21:26,370 Uh, your girlfriend? 1933 01:21:26,403 --> 01:21:27,905 Nope, nope, just hanging out. 1934 01:21:27,939 --> 01:21:30,908 We've just, uh, we... we just came for food. 1935 01:21:30,942 --> 01:21:32,676 Oh... okay. 1936 01:21:32,709 --> 01:21:35,545 So a couple of Tobbler Specials for you maybe, huh? 1937 01:21:35,579 --> 01:21:36,713 Perfect. 1938 01:21:36,747 --> 01:21:37,949 - Sound good? - Great. 1939 01:21:37,982 --> 01:21:38,950 Okay. 1940 01:21:38,983 --> 01:21:40,384 Oh, and by the way, 1941 01:21:40,417 --> 01:21:42,285 I fixed the lock on the bathroom door for you, 1942 01:21:42,319 --> 01:21:44,321 so you can stop bitchin' about that. 1943 01:21:45,555 --> 01:21:46,824 Cool. 1944 01:21:46,858 --> 01:21:47,959 You're gonna get the... 1945 01:21:47,992 --> 01:21:48,760 you we're gonna make the waffles, right? 1946 01:21:50,828 --> 01:21:52,195 Let me get that, yeah. 1947 01:21:52,229 --> 01:21:52,830 - Whenever you get- - SUMMER: Thank you. 1948 01:21:52,864 --> 01:21:54,231 Yeah, something special. 1949 01:21:54,264 --> 01:21:55,732 - You're gonna love it. - Thank you! 1950 01:21:55,767 --> 01:21:57,300 Alright. 1951 01:21:57,334 --> 01:21:59,403 Is the bathroom lock like a frequent issue for you? 1952 01:21:59,436 --> 01:22:00,905 Oh, no, it's a big problem in my family, yeah. 1953 01:22:00,938 --> 01:22:04,241 My dad is the most embarrassing person, uh, in the world. 1954 01:22:04,274 --> 01:22:06,610 - He was sweet. He loves you. - His goal. His goal. 1955 01:22:06,643 --> 01:22:07,544 Oh, my God, are you kidding? 1956 01:22:07,577 --> 01:22:08,679 I wish my parents would embarrass me. 1957 01:22:08,712 --> 01:22:11,515 All they want from me is for me to go into medicine, 1958 01:22:11,548 --> 01:22:13,985 which is like fifteen years of torture. 1959 01:22:14,018 --> 01:22:17,354 So I'm gonna take a year off and travel around the world 1960 01:22:17,387 --> 01:22:19,423 and then do the cliché backpacking across Europe 1961 01:22:19,456 --> 01:22:21,391 to find myself. 1962 01:22:21,425 --> 01:22:22,459 The world? 1963 01:22:22,492 --> 01:22:25,863 That, uh, that's... that's ambitious. 1964 01:22:25,897 --> 01:22:27,364 Thank God for FaceTime. 1965 01:22:28,498 --> 01:22:29,599 Why? 1966 01:22:29,633 --> 01:22:33,403 You know, so we can, uh, keep in touch 1967 01:22:33,437 --> 01:22:35,873 and look at each other's faces. 1968 01:22:40,477 --> 01:22:41,445 Well, what about you? 1969 01:22:42,980 --> 01:22:44,314 - With my life? - Yeah. 1970 01:22:45,950 --> 01:22:49,653 I... I don't know. 1971 01:22:50,353 --> 01:22:51,956 That's so hot. 1972 01:22:51,989 --> 01:22:54,458 Nothing gets me going more than a guy with no direction. 1973 01:22:57,762 --> 01:22:59,629 Uh, well I got a... I got a scholarship to Cal Arts, 1974 01:22:59,663 --> 01:23:03,433 and I, I love to draw, but I just don't... I don't think 1975 01:23:03,467 --> 01:23:06,971 I can make money with my style of drawing. 1976 01:23:07,004 --> 01:23:08,405 Hmm. 1977 01:23:08,438 --> 01:23:10,007 The scholarship is amazing. 1978 01:23:10,041 --> 01:23:13,677 Plus I see you drawing on your iPad all the time at school. 1979 01:23:13,710 --> 01:23:15,980 You... you notice me drawing? 1980 01:23:16,013 --> 01:23:18,281 We've been going to school together for years. 1981 01:23:18,315 --> 01:23:19,382 I'm not blind. 1982 01:23:23,054 --> 01:23:24,454 Can I see your drawings? 1983 01:23:25,355 --> 01:23:26,356 No. 1984 01:23:26,991 --> 01:23:30,762 No, I just-I just, I don't show them to anyone, 1985 01:23:30,795 --> 01:23:33,831 'cause they're sort of X-rated and they... 1986 01:23:33,865 --> 01:23:35,432 they might make me come off as a psycho. 1987 01:23:35,465 --> 01:23:36,666 Stop being such a fucking pussy. 1988 01:23:36,700 --> 01:23:38,635 Just show it to me. 1989 01:23:38,668 --> 01:23:39,636 You'd freak out. 1990 01:23:39,669 --> 01:23:40,772 I would not freak out. 1991 01:23:40,805 --> 01:23:41,773 You would freak out. 1992 01:23:41,806 --> 01:23:44,842 What about me says that I'm gonna freak out? 1993 01:23:44,876 --> 01:23:46,778 You promise you won't freak out? 1994 01:23:46,811 --> 01:23:48,445 Swear on my life! 1995 01:23:58,388 --> 01:23:59,791 Promise, you promise? 1996 01:23:59,824 --> 01:24:01,491 Oh, yes, I promise. I promise, I promise, I promise... 1997 01:24:17,641 --> 01:24:19,309 Can I ask you a personal question, Jimmy? 1998 01:24:19,811 --> 01:24:20,778 Hmm? 1999 01:24:22,379 --> 01:24:23,848 What does pussy feel like? 2000 01:24:25,817 --> 01:24:27,985 Like putting your dick in some mashed potatoes. 2001 01:24:29,153 --> 01:24:30,087 Hmm. 2002 01:24:31,388 --> 01:24:32,556 Yeah. 2003 01:24:33,858 --> 01:24:35,358 Can I tell you something? 2004 01:24:35,392 --> 01:24:36,459 Mm-hmm. 2005 01:24:38,830 --> 01:24:40,932 It's been the best birthday I ever had, man. 2006 01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:44,701 I'm sorry. 2007 01:24:45,970 --> 01:24:47,104 It's okay. 2008 01:24:59,749 --> 01:25:01,018 I've just, uh, 2009 01:25:01,052 --> 01:25:04,621 had a crush on you for a... a really... 2010 01:25:04,654 --> 01:25:07,024 Neil, just shut up and kiss me and finger me simultaneously. 2011 01:25:11,595 --> 01:25:14,564 You're... fucking with me right now. 2012 01:25:14,598 --> 01:25:16,100 Yes, I'm fucking with you. 2013 01:25:16,133 --> 01:25:17,768 - See I knew that. - You sick porn twisted boy! 2014 01:25:17,802 --> 01:25:18,501 I know, I know. 2015 01:25:18,535 --> 01:25:19,203 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2016 01:25:19,237 --> 01:25:20,537 Who the fuck talks like that? 2017 01:25:20,570 --> 01:25:22,139 I know, I... didn't, I don't even... 2018 01:25:22,173 --> 01:25:25,843 I have never used the word pussy that many times in my life. 2019 01:25:25,877 --> 01:25:29,646 Jesus, you really know how to make a girl swoon. 2020 01:25:29,679 --> 01:25:32,549 You know I was gonna invite you to my birthday party. 2021 01:25:32,582 --> 01:25:33,583 Really? 2022 01:25:33,617 --> 01:25:35,086 Yeah. 2023 01:25:35,119 --> 01:25:39,090 But then you puked on me in front of everyone, so. 2024 01:25:39,123 --> 01:25:39,891 Yeah. 2025 01:25:39,924 --> 01:25:41,424 Uh... 2026 01:25:42,894 --> 01:25:43,995 Sorry about that. 2027 01:25:47,899 --> 01:25:49,000 I actually don't... 2028 01:25:49,033 --> 01:25:50,167 I actually don't watch that much porn. 2029 01:25:50,201 --> 01:25:50,868 - I just... - You don't? 2030 01:25:50,902 --> 01:25:52,669 - No. - Well, 'cause I do. 2031 01:25:54,138 --> 01:25:55,973 - You do? - Yeah. 2032 01:25:57,507 --> 01:25:59,944 I can give you passwords. 2033 01:25:59,977 --> 01:26:02,013 You are so much more fucked up than I thought you'd be. 2034 01:26:05,950 --> 01:26:07,985 Which actually makes you kind of... 2035 01:26:12,722 --> 01:26:13,758 Kind of... kind of what? 2036 01:26:15,793 --> 01:26:17,094 Cool. 2037 01:26:28,672 --> 01:26:29,907 Cool. 2038 01:27:47,051 --> 01:27:50,121 I don't understand why I'm the one with handcuffs right now? 2039 01:27:50,154 --> 01:27:52,123 I don't see any bullet holes in you, Apu. 131594