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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,580 It won't be long now. 2 00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:16,149 At least she's comfortable. 3 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,785 - There's definitely worse ways to go. - Mm, amen. 4 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:22,122 Dysentery was no party. 5 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,257 Shh, I think it is happening. 6 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,526 Ah. I should sing something to ease her transition. 7 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:28,395 Or perhaps don't make this all about you. 8 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:32,465 ♪ Amazing grace ♪ 9 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:36,469 ♪ How sweet the sound. ♪ 10 00:00:40,607 --> 00:00:42,542 Who are you? 11 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:46,279 I am the ghost of your great-great-grandmother, 12 00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:47,614 Hetty Woodstone. 13 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,182 Hi, I'm Flower. 14 00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:50,683 I wandered over to your property 15 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,585 from a music festival in the '60s, 16 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,788 and then I tried to befriend a bear. 17 00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:56,423 Drugs were involved. 18 00:00:56,489 --> 00:01:00,059 I am Thorfinn. Uh... 19 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,594 I like herring... 20 00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:03,563 She doesn't need the whole roster. 21 00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,398 We are ghosts. 22 00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:08,168 While most spirits pass on to the afterlife, 23 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:11,838 we are the unfortunate few cursed to spend eternity... 24 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,673 Oh, and she's gone. 25 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,608 - Oh, good for her. - So unfair. 26 00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:17,710 She goes up, we stay here. 27 00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:19,779 In Odin's name, why? 28 00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,314 Yeah, it's a real drag. 29 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,758 Now what's going to happen to the house? 30 00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:24,851 This house was my pride and joy. 31 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,753 Now it could get sold to God knows who. 32 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,721 Murderers. Perverts. 33 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,490 Irishmen. 34 00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,725 Well, there's no use milling about up here. 35 00:01:32,792 --> 00:01:34,294 Shall we go mill about downstairs? 36 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,728 - May as well. - Yeah, sure. 37 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:38,364 I just hope someone interesting moves in, ya know? 38 00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:40,500 Like a ballplayer, or an astronaut. 39 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,735 Whose life are you guys hoping to watch next? 40 00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,838 Oy. Oh, be quiet. 41 00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:46,406 Oh, my God, this is the house? 42 00:01:46,473 --> 00:01:48,174 Whoa, so... so we just 43 00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,742 - own this now? What's the catch? - No, no. 44 00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:52,245 There's no catch. As I explained to your wife on the phone, 45 00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,280 her relative passed away and left her this estate. 46 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,225 Great-Aunt Sophie. I think I met her when I was a kid, 47 00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:58,418 but I-I thought she died years ago. 48 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:00,262 No, no, she just passed. But the good news is, 49 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,421 you're her next of kin. 50 00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:02,555 Didn't she have a son? 51 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,891 Well, more good news, he actually did die years ago. 52 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,226 Oh, okay. 53 00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,494 Oh, yeah, that's not, um... 54 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,562 How much do you think we could sell this place for? 55 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,164 Assuming we want to sell. 56 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,633 Uh, yeah, we're not moving into a 300-year-old house 57 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,803 in the middle of nowhere, because that would be... 58 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,505 Right, Sam? 59 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:20,507 Well, it's just we don't know the facts yet. 60 00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:23,543 - Obviously, yes, we're probably going to sell. - Yeah. 61 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:25,045 He thinks I'm a little impulsive. 62 00:02:25,046 --> 00:02:26,479 Ah, just a smidge. 63 00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:27,823 Well, there are a limited number of buyers 64 00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,382 for a property this size, right? 65 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,293 So, you have your bed and breakfast operators... 66 00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:32,595 What if we opened a bed and breakfast? 67 00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:34,654 - Here we go. - Aren't you sick of the city? 68 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,257 - No. - We work insane hours to live in a shoebox 69 00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:38,391 That we can barely afford, 70 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,260 and somebody's offering us a mansion. 71 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,695 Sam, we don't know the first thing about running a B and B. 72 00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:44,607 You're a chef. That's, like, half of the Bs right there. 73 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,633 Plus, I can write freelance articles from anywhere, 74 00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:48,644 so we have income while we're getting up and running. 75 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,980 That is an annoyingly strong argument, you have to admit it. 76 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,673 Okay, let's do this. 77 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:54,874 We haven't seen the place, 78 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:56,409 so we'll go up there for the weekend, 79 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:58,311 - and then we'll talk about it. - Yes! Thank you. 80 00:02:58,378 --> 00:02:59,946 - It is a really nice place. - It is. 81 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,248 And it's ours, for free. 82 00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:04,317 There's gotta be something wrong with it. 83 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:05,952 Babe, it's so charming. 84 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:09,522 What could possibly be wrong with it? 85 00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,624 ♪ ♪ 86 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:19,599 Okay, so, it's the summer of '98. 87 00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,510 My Lehman Brothers boys and I, we scooped a copter 88 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,403 to beat the traffic out to the Hamptons, 89 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:24,604 'cause that's how we roll. 90 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,472 Anyway, we're on a list 91 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,274 for this very exclusive shindig 92 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:29,776 at Surf Lodge in Montauk. 93 00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:30,977 Tara Reid's birthday. 94 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,162 'Nuff said. So... 95 00:03:32,163 --> 00:03:33,279 Yeah, but, 96 00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:34,480 who is Tara Reid? 97 00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:35,915 Seriously? She was a movie star. 98 00:03:35,982 --> 00:03:37,317 Oh. Silent or talkies, sweetheart? 99 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:38,751 Uh, what is a movie again? 100 00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:41,354 It's the... It's the play that they project on a screen. 101 00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:42,622 We've been through this. 102 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,624 When you say "project"... 103 00:03:44,691 --> 00:03:45,558 What is "play?"? 104 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,894 God, I hate being the most recently dead. 105 00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:50,697 Anyway, yada yada yada, it was a great night. The end. 106 00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:52,298 Okay. 107 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:54,710 Okay, well, thank you, Trevor, 108 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:56,936 for that talk of the day on partying. 109 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,403 No, it was very high-level partying. 110 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,373 You don't get it, so, you know, whatever. 111 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,642 All right, well, tomorrow, of course, is food club, 112 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,778 when Thor will be explaining the subtle differences 113 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,280 between types of cod. 114 00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:08,557 It will be similar to salmon lecture, 115 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:10,200 but more cod focused. 116 00:04:10,201 --> 00:04:11,818 Ooh. 117 00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:13,419 Oh! Oh! It's one of those... 118 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:15,254 How you say... It's a ship on land. 119 00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,924 Landship! Landship! 120 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,759 It's not a landship, you nincompoop. 121 00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:20,994 That's a horseless carriage. 122 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,795 Bro, check out that body. 123 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:25,398 Slammin'. 124 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:28,534 Indeed. He'd have made a fine militiaman. 125 00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:31,270 Holy crap. 126 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,840 Beats the hell out of our fifth-floor walkup, huh? 127 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:35,408 Okay, yeah, it's impressive, 128 00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,986 but can you reach the fridge from your bed? 129 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,278 I think not. 130 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,545 This air is so clean. 131 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,280 And that guy at the gas station in town... 132 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:42,415 - What was his name, Carl? - Yeah. 133 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,750 Yeah. He was folksy, right? 134 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:45,551 I mean, he did call me a woman for wearing 135 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,529 a video game shirt, which doesn't make any sense, 136 00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:49,622 but, yeah, Carl had a certain charm. 137 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,024 They're coming in. 138 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:52,258 Let's go. 139 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:53,426 Whoa! 140 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:56,829 Ah, geez, not again. 141 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:57,830 Wait! 142 00:04:57,897 --> 00:05:00,967 Wow. 143 00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,835 Okay, this is huge. 144 00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:05,505 And it's all ours. 145 00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,874 I got to admit, it would be nice 146 00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,475 to have a little bit of space. 147 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:12,445 Exactly. New York is full of people. 148 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:15,915 We're never alone. 149 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,450 This must be them. 150 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,452 The new folks that own the house. 151 00:05:19,519 --> 00:05:21,454 Can you believe this place has been in my family 152 00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:22,889 for six generations? 153 00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,457 She's a relative of yours, Hetty. 154 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,726 Well, I should hope not, with her exposed knees 155 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,528 and that saucy hairdo. 156 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:29,762 - Wow. - At least it's just the two of them. 157 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,631 There's still plenty of room for us. 158 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,633 - Yes. Yes. - Two people is manageable. 159 00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,801 Limited commotion. 160 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:37,870 No old lady bedridden while disease eats away at her, 161 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:40,907 but we knew those good times couldn't last forever. 162 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:43,443 You know, a young couple could be really fun to watch. 163 00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:44,594 Oh, hell yeah, they would. 164 00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:45,678 Okay, Trevor. 165 00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:49,015 Before I forget... 166 00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,416 - What is that? - Whoa, whoa. 167 00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:51,718 - What are you doing? - This is sage. 168 00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:52,835 I'm cleansing the space. 169 00:05:52,836 --> 00:05:53,886 Oh, come on. 170 00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:56,589 Babe, this is Old House 101. 171 00:05:56,656 --> 00:05:58,891 You light this stuff, and it wards off evil spirits. 172 00:05:58,958 --> 00:05:59,958 What did she say? 173 00:05:59,992 --> 00:06:00,993 Does that work? 174 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,995 Do you really believe in that? 175 00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:04,630 Better safe than sorry. 176 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:05,698 It's actually delightful. 177 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,699 Oh. 178 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,634 - Yeah, it's divine. - Oh, lemme hit that. 179 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,470 - I would enjoy a... - Is that sage or is that her? 180 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,672 - Reminds me of torched village. - Okay, people, people. 181 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:15,374 There is enough spirit repellant for all of us. 182 00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:17,410 Jay, we have a library. 183 00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:20,079 This place is, like, 184 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,264 old school rich. 185 00:06:21,265 --> 00:06:22,381 I know. 186 00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,083 I did a little research. 187 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:25,852 Apparently, my ancestors who lived here 188 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,587 were actual robber barons. 189 00:06:27,653 --> 00:06:30,556 Like, cartoon evil, slept-on-a-bed-of-gold types. 190 00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:33,392 I mean, we did that once. 191 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:35,795 Okay, they actually seem really nice. 192 00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,930 They remind me of this couple I was married to 193 00:06:37,997 --> 00:06:39,165 when I was on the commune. 194 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,952 And a little of this couple I was married to 195 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,401 when I was in the cult. 196 00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,871 Honestly, it's, like, way more beat up 197 00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:45,981 than in any of the pictures. 198 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:47,440 Excuse me? 199 00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,118 It could use a little TLC, but we can fix it up. 200 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,544 Boy, she is really "can do." 201 00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,179 I am rooting for these kids. 202 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,981 I cannot help it. 203 00:06:55,047 --> 00:06:56,516 I'm telling you, babe, 204 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:59,418 this place is going to make an amazing hotel. 205 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:01,954 What is "hotel"? 206 00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,723 I'll tell you what a hotel is. 207 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,925 A hotel is our worst nightmare. 208 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,828 Every room in this house filled with people 209 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,564 coming and going. 210 00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:13,833 Sleeping in our beds... 211 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,568 Libertines! 212 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,904 And you don't even want to know about the clutter, 213 00:07:17,970 --> 00:07:20,506 Thorfinn, my fastidious Viking friend. Ooh! 214 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:25,578 Why?! Why?! 215 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,781 Trash can right there. 216 00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:31,617 No! 217 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,986 I hate getting walked through. 218 00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:35,922 It's probably the worst pain I can think of. 219 00:07:35,988 --> 00:07:38,758 No, wait, arrow through the neck. That beats it. 220 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:41,027 Okay, new plan: 221 00:07:41,093 --> 00:07:42,461 kill them! 222 00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:43,796 Uh, we can't kill them. 223 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:44,997 - Yeah, that's not nice. - No, I mean 224 00:07:45,064 --> 00:07:46,666 We don't have the ability. 225 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,801 Can't pick up a gun, can't put their feet in cement 226 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,604 and drop them off a country bridge. 227 00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:54,774 I went with a bootlegger for a spell. You hear things. 228 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:56,618 Plus, even if we could physically grapple them, 229 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,778 that husband fellow would overpower us. 230 00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:00,246 I mean, have you seen his shoulders 231 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,981 and that V-shaped back? 232 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:08,521 In summary, we must do something. 233 00:08:08,588 --> 00:08:11,157 Wait, what... Why don't we just try... 234 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:12,758 haunting? 235 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,994 We scare them away. We're ghosts! 236 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,629 - Ooh. - Whoa! 237 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:17,964 Yeah! It's a good plan, right? 238 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:21,133 Oh, no, sorry, I was just seeing some major trails. 239 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,668 What are we talking about? 240 00:08:22,735 --> 00:08:24,770 This plan of Trevor's fills me with discomfort. 241 00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,672 The line between the living and ourselves 242 00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,040 is one we should respect. 243 00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:31,177 Who are we to... 244 00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:33,012 Found my jacket! 245 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:41,721 All right, let's haunt these bastards out of here. 246 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,696 Hey, Boo-Boo. 247 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:53,199 - The water from the tap was disgusting. - Oh. 248 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:56,002 So, I went to the gas station and I got us some coffee. 249 00:08:56,068 --> 00:08:58,037 - Aw, thank you. - Yeah. Carl says hi, 250 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,573 And he called me a snowflake for wearing flip-flops. 251 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,108 - Classic Carl. - Yeah. 252 00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:06,012 Okay, gun to your head: Canary Yellow or Lavender Mist? 253 00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:08,281 Oh, okay, we're putting up paint. Nice. 254 00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:11,183 Haven't decided if we're staying but we're putting up paint. 255 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,885 You know what? I-I think we should just 256 00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,663 knock the whole wall down while we're at it. 257 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,222 Do you think it's load-bearing? 258 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,858 What? What is this? What are you doing? 259 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,836 Do you even know what sound you're listening for? 260 00:09:20,860 --> 00:09:23,162 Not sure, but it makes me feel like Joanna Gaines, 261 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,563 and I'm not mad at that. 262 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,866 - Ooh. - Wanna come be my Chip, big boy? 263 00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:28,601 Um, yes please. 264 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:32,004 Wait a minute, why do we only role-play couples from HGTV? 265 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:35,007 Please don't kink shame me. 266 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,243 Oh, it's adorable. There's a bird in our room, 267 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,011 because of course there is. 268 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,914 Okay, you're right, this place needs a little bit of work. 269 00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:43,299 Here he comes! 270 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,617 Hit the deck! 271 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:51,090 Now, let's take inventory of the skills at our disposal. 272 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,259 Thor, as we all know, is able to do that thing 273 00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:56,228 with the electrics because he was struck by lightning. 274 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,036 I am powerful. 275 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,038 - Oh, Isaac, what about your thing? - Yes, yes, yes. 276 00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,283 Oh, yes, no, I don't know to what it is you refer. Okay... 277 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,942 You died of dysentery. 278 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,887 Yeah, it smells like a fart when the living walk through you. 279 00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:13,212 It's nasty. 280 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,680 - You stink, you stink. - It's not pleasant. 281 00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:16,649 Okay. 282 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:18,384 I get it. We all get it. 283 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,728 And trust me, you don't need to be 284 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,053 so harsh in your condemnations. 285 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,389 It is far worse for me than it is for thee. 286 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,790 Okay, moving on. What else? 287 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,225 Well, I was thinking since Alberta 288 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,328 was a singer in life and can project her humming 289 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:30,663 into the world of the living, 290 00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,898 what if we had her hum the song 291 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:34,800 from the movie Ghost to scare them? 292 00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,268 Huh? Kinda thematic, right? 293 00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:37,975 You know we don't know what that is, Pete. 294 00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:39,672 Oh, right, the movie thing. 295 00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:40,973 Welcome to my hell. 296 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,150 You guys would actually love it. 297 00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:43,809 There was this amazing scene 298 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,053 where the main girl was making pottery... 299 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:46,345 We don't have time for this. 300 00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,681 And then this hunky, shirtless guy comes in... 301 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:49,882 Well, we do have some time. 302 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:51,193 The haunting isn't imminent. Go on. 303 00:10:51,217 --> 00:10:53,352 It's fine. I get it. I'll hum something scary. 304 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:56,689 Oh, Trevor has to do his amazing thing. 305 00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:57,957 That must be the topper. 306 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,725 Yeah. Do it! 307 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,894 You're very kind. 308 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,030 Come on, Trev. 309 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:11,737 - Oh, sorry, hold on, it's just... - You got it, you got it. 310 00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,105 - Focus. - Focus, focus. 311 00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,105 You got it. 312 00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:26,886 - Yo, T-money did it! - Scary! 313 00:11:26,952 --> 00:11:29,088 Oh, it's good! 314 00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:31,123 Troops, I believe we are ready. 315 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,727 Tonight, get your sleep, for tomorrow we strike! 316 00:11:34,794 --> 00:11:36,128 Yes! 317 00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,137 The hot water's not working! 318 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,273 Okay, people, he's coming out. Man your posts. 319 00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:51,010 Good luck, everybody. And have fun! 320 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,747 The hot water's out again. 321 00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:55,915 One second! 322 00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:57,917 And... go, Thor! 323 00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,020 What the... 324 00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,455 Come on. 325 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,460 Ah. 326 00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:09,028 Man down! Alberta, you're up. 327 00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,429 Trevor, you're on deck. 328 00:12:10,496 --> 00:12:12,307 You know, it kinda feels like I'm opening for Trevor. 329 00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:14,800 Now, I don't need to headline this haunting, but... 330 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:16,118 Not now! 331 00:12:16,119 --> 00:12:17,369 Ugh, okay. Fine. 332 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:23,409 I got the stereo working. 333 00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:24,910 - Cool. - Go on. 334 00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:31,383 Ugh, babe. 335 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:32,918 Nice try, that was you. 336 00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,253 Are you on a juice cleanse? 337 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,322 Close it out, Trevor. You're our only hope. 338 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:37,957 Okay, you can't blame the other person 339 00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:39,425 when there's only one other person. 340 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,526 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 341 00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,096 You know I couldn't produce that if I tried. 342 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,431 Come on, man! 343 00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:46,799 Bring the fortitude. 344 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:47,800 That is disgusting. 345 00:12:47,867 --> 00:12:49,869 Oh, come on, you gaslighter. 346 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,771 You got a cute butt, but it's got a foul mouth. 347 00:12:55,407 --> 00:12:58,043 Huh. Haunting is hard. 348 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,345 Ooh, that is rank. 349 00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,180 - Shut up. - All right. 350 00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,517 Babe? What are you doing? 351 00:13:04,583 --> 00:13:06,085 I'm gonna fix the water heater. 352 00:13:06,152 --> 00:13:08,053 It's probably just the gas, right? 353 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,089 This has got to be simple, just turn the pilot on? 354 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:12,224 This place is so creepy. 355 00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:15,027 Much better. 356 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:16,795 - Who are these guys? - I don't know. 357 00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,497 Jay, that looks kinda ancient. 358 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,533 Maybe we should just call a professional. 359 00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:22,201 No, no. We're not dumping 360 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:24,036 a bunch of money into this house. 361 00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,005 Plus, I want to take a shower now. 362 00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:27,540 Counterclockwise. 363 00:13:27,606 --> 00:13:29,846 Okay, it's just I don't think you know what you're doing. 364 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:32,011 - Uh-oh. - That's not good. 365 00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:33,312 - That should do it. - That won't do it. 366 00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,014 - Think I got it. - He didn't. 367 00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:38,450 At least they left the light on. 368 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:40,920 Oh. 369 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:41,986 Damn it. 370 00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,324 - Trevor? - God. 371 00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:47,169 What-what are you doing? The livings aren't even here. 372 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,261 No, I know, I know. This isn't for them. 373 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,463 This is between T-Money and the vahse. 374 00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,199 It's personal. 375 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:54,466 I've always said vayse. 376 00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:55,918 Can you please... 377 00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,303 Sorry. 378 00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:59,338 Aw! 379 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,175 Still freezing. 380 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:04,610 Okay, well, the good news is 381 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,521 we're going back to New York this afternoon anyway, 382 00:14:06,545 --> 00:14:08,247 so we can just fix it when we come back. 383 00:14:08,314 --> 00:14:10,149 You mean if we come back. 384 00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:13,319 Okay, we're having this conversation. 385 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:16,121 Sam, um... 386 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:18,057 I'm just gonna come out and say it, okay? 387 00:14:20,659 --> 00:14:22,428 Pardon? 388 00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:23,913 I didn't hear you. 389 00:14:23,914 --> 00:14:25,331 I don't want to move here. 390 00:14:26,332 --> 00:14:27,933 Well, this just got interesting. 391 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,268 Very interesting. 392 00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:32,571 Like finding new type of cod interesting. 393 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,173 Come on. 394 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,358 Okay, a little too close. 395 00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:36,475 Sure. Okay. 396 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,223 Oh, that was... I was... That was gonna be it. 397 00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,915 - That was gonna be it. Really. - I know. I felt that. 398 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,149 That was so close. 399 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,051 I came up here with an open mind, for sure, 400 00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,987 but this whole bed and breakfast idea... 401 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,655 I mean, come on. 402 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,323 Do we really want to leave New York? 403 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,158 Jay, I love you, but you know that you 404 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,460 - get a bit scared of change. - Mm. 405 00:14:54,526 --> 00:14:57,429 But it's okay to try something different. 406 00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:59,965 - Yes, I agree and I'm willing to try something different... - Yes. 407 00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:01,300 Below 14th Street. 408 00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,936 He's cute... Funny! 409 00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:07,640 I don't know what it is but I-I feel a connection to this place. 410 00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:10,209 I could see a future here, us raising a family. 411 00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,443 I want all that, babe, 412 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:14,079 but-but, we're in way over our heads. 413 00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:15,481 This place is falling apart. 414 00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:16,949 It is kind of a dump. 415 00:15:17,016 --> 00:15:18,016 Oh, shut up. 416 00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:24,957 We did it! 417 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,961 So, that's it? We just do what you want? 418 00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:31,397 - If we're both gonna be making some big crazy move... - Mm-hmm. 419 00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:34,566 - Then-then we should at least both be able to agree on it. - Fine! 420 00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:36,035 But you know what, Jay? 421 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,636 Sometimes you gotta just do something 422 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:38,637 a little bold, ya know? 423 00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:40,239 Put some Canary Yellow up 424 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,374 and get out of your neutral-palette mindset. 425 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,009 What? What are you... What was that? 426 00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,511 Neutrals go with everything. 427 00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:47,355 Haven't you learned anything from Love It or List It? 428 00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,259 Well, I don't know what any of those words mean, 429 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,317 but I know that he won't be laying with her 430 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:54,219 for several moons! 431 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,388 That was amazing. You're incredible. 432 00:15:58,090 --> 00:16:00,125 Whoa, whoa, watch out! 433 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:10,469 - Bro, that's not good. - Sam? 434 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,638 Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Sam, hey! 435 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,508 Sam. Sam! Oh, my God. Sam! 436 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,587 Murderer. 437 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,022 Okay, again, 438 00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:32,458 I didn't mean for her to trip and fall. 439 00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:34,526 You have to believe me, I would never intentionally 440 00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:35,761 hurt anyone that hot. 441 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,598 Aw, husband guy looks so sad. 442 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:43,435 I remember when I died. Ira looked so scared. 443 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:45,671 Because he didn't want to lose me. 444 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:48,540 And also because he was trying to get away from the bear. 445 00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:50,509 Could you imagine if she doesn't make it? 446 00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:53,278 What a terrible last memory for him. 447 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,180 Ending things in an argument. 448 00:16:55,247 --> 00:16:58,350 Carol and I argued the last time we spoke. 449 00:16:58,417 --> 00:17:00,219 It's funny, it felt like such a big deal 450 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:02,354 at the time, and now I... can't even tell you 451 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:04,323 what it was we were arguing about. 452 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:08,636 You never think, when you close that door behind you, 453 00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,196 that that'll be the last time you walk through that door. 454 00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:16,402 But then I had my accident, and I realized 455 00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:18,604 I'm never gonna see my wife again. 456 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:26,612 I'm never gonna get to speak to her, to hold her, 457 00:17:26,678 --> 00:17:30,349 to tell her how much I love her. 458 00:17:30,416 --> 00:17:34,319 Oh, wait! I remember what we were fighting about. 459 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,221 She ate all the donut holes, 460 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,699 and she doesn't even like donut holes. 461 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,292 It was just to spite me. Which was just like her, 462 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,161 that selfish so-and-so. 463 00:17:42,227 --> 00:17:44,296 Pete. 464 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,168 Uh, the point is... 465 00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:52,171 life is precious. 466 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,139 What is donut hole? 467 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:56,508 It's just a round donut... 468 00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,577 It's what's miss... It doesn't matter. 469 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,679 ♪ ♪ 470 00:18:03,682 --> 00:18:06,585 It's a tough loss. 471 00:18:09,321 --> 00:18:10,422 What's wrong? 472 00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:13,392 The Knicks blew a ten-point lead to the Nuggets. Damn it. 473 00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:14,803 Well, I hope you were at least this upset 474 00:18:14,827 --> 00:18:16,762 when I was technically dead for three minutes. 475 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,697 Let's get you home. 476 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:19,815 Go slow. 477 00:18:19,816 --> 00:18:20,866 Okay. 478 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,836 ♪ Home awaiting ♪ 479 00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,504 ♪ In the sky ♪ 480 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:30,742 ♪ Oh, in the sky. ♪ 481 00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:32,377 Thank you, Alberta. 482 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,888 I don't know how many times we've heard that song. 483 00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:35,381 487. 484 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:36,849 But it gets better every time. 485 00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,617 Landship! Landship! 486 00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,452 - The livings, man! - They're back. 487 00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:44,423 Oh, she's alive. 488 00:18:44,490 --> 00:18:45,891 Oh, thank God. 489 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,360 Wait, is there any scarring? How's the punim? 490 00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:52,731 I thought we were going home. 491 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,576 Yeah, I just wanted to swing by the house real quick 492 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,834 and show you something. 493 00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,769 So, while you were sleeping for two weeks... 494 00:18:57,836 --> 00:18:59,204 Coma. 495 00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,572 Coma. I had a contractor come in 496 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,517 just to give us an estimate on what needs to be done. 497 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,209 And guess what. It's way more 498 00:19:04,276 --> 00:19:05,577 than I could have ever imagined. 499 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,479 It's like a new foundation, it's new floors... 500 00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:08,823 Jay, it's fine. You know, I'm okay with 501 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:10,249 selling the place. 502 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:12,451 I had some time to think, and you were right. 503 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:14,353 I think the whole bed and breakfast idea 504 00:19:14,419 --> 00:19:15,587 was probably crazy. 505 00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:16,755 Well, then, call me crazy, 506 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:17,856 'cause we're doing it. 507 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,693 Hey, Mikey, how you doing? 508 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,762 What's going on? 509 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:24,596 That's the contractor. 510 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,198 If we're gonna make a go of this, 511 00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,566 we're gonna need some help. 512 00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:28,710 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 513 00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:29,868 We're staying?! 514 00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:31,837 We're doubling down, baby! 515 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,640 I maxed out the credit cards, I cashed in the IRA, 516 00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:36,708 despite the very vocal objections of my father. 517 00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:38,510 News flash: we're deeply in debt. 518 00:19:38,577 --> 00:19:40,688 If this bed and breakfast fails, we're really screwed. 519 00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:42,648 I don't understand. What happened? 520 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,517 Almost losing you made me realize that I don't care 521 00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:49,187 where we live, because as long as I'm with you, 522 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,589 I'm home. 523 00:19:50,656 --> 00:19:53,792 Was it corny? Did it sound corny? 524 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,003 I'm not gonna lie, I practiced it. 525 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,262 It was so corny. 526 00:19:58,597 --> 00:19:59,765 Show me the house! 527 00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:01,266 Aw, they made up. 528 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,702 I'm very glad Samantha is okay. 529 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,404 Me, too. Wait. 530 00:20:05,470 --> 00:20:07,940 Who are these other people? 531 00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:10,776 It looks like a construction crew. 532 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,612 O'Malley. 533 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:15,247 Electricians, check the main panel. 534 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:16,481 - Look out for loose wirings. - Got it. 535 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,716 Roofers, be careful up there. 536 00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,027 Harness required, and make sure you know 537 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,886 where you're dropping the tiles. 538 00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,254 On it! 539 00:20:22,321 --> 00:20:24,389 Oh, you're dressed kind of nice 540 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:25,824 for a construction worker. 541 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,593 Hey. Hey, babe. 542 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:29,394 Come with me, there's one more thing 543 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:30,696 - I want to show you. - Oh. 544 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:31,964 Got a surprise. 545 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:33,699 Come on. Hey, hey, easy. 546 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:35,467 So that's it, then. 547 00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,236 They're going through with this hotel situation. 548 00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,538 We'll be overrun. 549 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,772 The clutter! 550 00:20:40,839 --> 00:20:43,308 Okay, yes, the hotel will be a nightmare, 551 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,911 but gosh darn it, I did miss those crazy kids. 552 00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,880 She talked to me! She talked to me! She talked to me. 553 00:20:48,947 --> 00:20:50,992 And I think she kinda hit on me, I'm not entirely sure, 554 00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,060 but there was definitely a spark. 555 00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,685 But she talked to me! 556 00:20:53,752 --> 00:20:55,253 Good God. 557 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,589 Please, lower your hands. 558 00:20:57,656 --> 00:21:00,459 And... baa-dow. 559 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,394 Uh-uh, what is that? 560 00:21:02,461 --> 00:21:04,396 That is the Canary Yellow you wanted. 561 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:05,598 You painted the room. 562 00:21:05,599 --> 00:21:06,732 I know, I know. 563 00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:08,343 You know, I wasn't sure about it at first, 564 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:10,302 but it's growing on me. 565 00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:12,671 - What the hell? - Yeah, yeah, you're right. 566 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,778 It's a lot of yellow. Oh, you know what we could do? 567 00:21:14,806 --> 00:21:17,042 We could put up a muted accent wall. 568 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:18,877 This can't be real. 569 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,712 Okay, you're not loving it. 570 00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:22,314 It's no big deal. It's just paint. 571 00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:23,849 Oh, my God. 572 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:25,484 What are you looking at? 573 00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:28,320 - I think you're right. She can see us. - Uh-huh. 574 00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:29,521 Who are you? 575 00:21:29,588 --> 00:21:31,023 Uh, hi, I'm Jay, I'm your husband. 576 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:32,307 Do you need to lie down? 577 00:21:32,308 --> 00:21:33,525 I can explain. 578 00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:35,961 We are ghosts, those poor spirits 579 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,664 who dwell on, compelled for reasons unknown to... 580 00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:47,991 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 41347

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