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1
00:00:11,267 --> 00:00:12,700
- WE'RE ON THE FLOOR.
2
00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:15,033
ZOMBIE SIGHTING
AT A NURSING HOME.
3
00:00:15,033 --> 00:00:16,533
- THANK YOU FOR GETTING HERE
SO QUICK.
4
00:00:16,533 --> 00:00:17,567
- YEAH, NO PROBLEM.
5
00:00:17,567 --> 00:00:19,367
UM, YOU SURE THERE'S NOT...
6
00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:21,267
ALL ZOMBIES HERE?
7
00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:22,567
- IT WAS HERE
JUST A MINUTE AGO.
8
00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:26,100
[woman crying out]
9
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,667
- [bleep]!
- AAH!
10
00:00:27,667 --> 00:00:28,867
AAH!
11
00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:30,633
- IT'S OKAY, MA'AM.
MA'AM.
12
00:00:30,633 --> 00:00:32,900
IT'S OKAY, MA'AM.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S ALL RIGHT.
13
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,400
HE'S DEAD NOW.
WE KILLED HIM.
14
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,900
- IT'S OKAY.
- YOU KILLED MY BROTHER.
15
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,933
- YOUR WHAT?
- MY BROTHER WALTER.
16
00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:45,567
HE CAME TO VISIT,
AND YOU KILLED HIM!
17
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,400
- SO WHY THE HELL WAS YOU
SCREAMING SO [bleep]DAMN LOUD?
18
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,267
- BECAUSE I WAS EXCITED
TO SEE HIM!
19
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,200
OH, MY GOD!
I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
20
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:53,633
- JANICE.
- I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
21
00:00:53,633 --> 00:00:55,500
YOU ARE AN INSOLENT JERK!
22
00:00:55,500 --> 00:01:00,233
YOU ARE AN INSOLENT JERK!
[sobbing]
23
00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:03,067
- GET THE...
MOVE THE [bleep]DAMN CAMERA.
24
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:04,300
- ONE YEAR AGO...
25
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,067
- VAMPIRE, WEREWOLVES,
AND ZOMBIES...
26
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:09,067
- DESCENDED UPON CALIFORNIA'S
SAN FERNANDO VALLEY.
27
00:01:09,067 --> 00:01:14,167
- AUTHORITIES REMAIN BAFFLED
BY THEIR ORIGINS.
28
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:16,733
- * LOVE IS NASTY
'CAUSE IT GETS SO ROTTEN *
29
00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:19,733
* I THINK IT'S TIME TO PUT
THIS BODY IN THE GROUND *
30
00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:23,100
* OH, OH, OH, OH,
OH, OH, OH *
31
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,067
* WE'RE LOSING ALL CONTROL *
32
00:01:25,067 --> 00:01:27,733
* THE BUILDINGS
ALL TURN TO DUST *
33
00:01:27,733 --> 00:01:29,133
* AND I THINK
IT'S GETTING CLOSER *
34
00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:32,067
* 'CAUSE
THEY'RE COMING FOR US *
35
00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:34,667
- OKAY, PEOPLE,
WE HAD A ZOMBIE SIGHTING
36
00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:38,100
AT A NURSING HOME TODAY
THAT LEFT AN 82-YEAR-OLD MAN
37
00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:39,767
BY THE NAME
OF WALTER GILBERG DEAD.
38
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,800
NOW, IT IS NOT IMPORTANT
WHO CAUSED THIS DEATH,
39
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,733
WHICH IS WHY I DON'T MIND SAYING
IT WAS JOHN-JOHN.
40
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:47,600
BUT WE AT THE UTF
TAKE OUR SUCCESSES
41
00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:49,900
AND OUR FAILURES AS A TEAM.
42
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:51,433
IS THAT CLEAR?
43
00:01:51,433 --> 00:01:53,533
IT'D BE UNFAIR TO IMPLY
THAT CARLA HAD ANYTHING
44
00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:56,267
TO DO WITH THE DEATH,
SINCE IT WAS ALL JOHN-JOHN,
45
00:01:56,267 --> 00:01:59,200
WHO, WHILE THIS INVESTIGATION
IS UNDER WAY,
46
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,700
WILL REMAIN ON DESK DUTY.
- THAT SUCKS.
47
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,300
- DID YOU GET THE ZOMBIE
EVENTUALLY?
48
00:02:04,433 --> 00:02:06,067
OKAY, ONE OUT OF TWO
ISN'T BAD.
49
00:02:06,067 --> 00:02:07,267
- WE DONE WITH OUR CHATTER?
50
00:02:07,267 --> 00:02:10,333
NOW, LET'S GET OUT THERE
AND KILL SOMETHING.
51
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,067
- UH, CAPTAIN, IF CARLA
COULD USE A PARTNER TODAY,
52
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,500
I WOULD LOVE TO RIDE ALONG.
53
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:16,467
- THAT'S UP TO CARLA.
54
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:17,967
- I DON'T THINK
THAT'S SUCH A GOOD I--
55
00:02:17,967 --> 00:02:19,400
- FANTASTIC,
I THINK A LITTLE SHAKE-UP
56
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,833
MIGHT BE GOOD FOR EVERYBODY,
57
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,833
KIND OF LIKE THEY DID WITH
THE JUDGES ON AMERICAN IDOL.
58
00:02:22,833 --> 00:02:25,300
- THANKS, CAPTAIN.
- DISMISSED.
59
00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:29,767
[siren wailing]
60
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,267
- LOOK, I'M JUST
GONNA SAY THIS,
61
00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:33,700
AND THEN I'LL SHUT UP.
62
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:35,367
WE SHOULD BE FRIENDS, RIGHT?
63
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:37,133
- ABSOLUTELY.
64
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:38,800
- I MEAN, WE'RE
AROUND THE SAME AGE.
65
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,333
MAYBE YOU'RE A COUPLE
OF YEARS OLDER.
66
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:43,500
BIG DEAL.
- I'M 23.
67
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,967
- OH.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE OLDER.
68
00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:48,300
NO, NOT LIKE YOU LOOK
OLDER,
69
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:50,167
YOU JUST--YOU--
YOU SEEM OLDER.
70
00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:53,400
YOU--YOU HAVE THIS LOOK
OF AUTHORITY ABOUT YOU.
71
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,567
BUT YOU--YOU ACTUALLY
LOOK REALLY YOUNG.
72
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,300
YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY.
73
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,567
- THANKS.
74
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,233
- DO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
75
00:03:02,233 --> 00:03:04,667
I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.
76
00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:06,833
THERE WAS THIS GUY
THAT ASKED ME OUT LAST WEEK.
77
00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:09,267
BUT I HAD TO PICK HIM UP.
78
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,400
AND WHEN I GOT THERE,
79
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,967
HIM AND HIS BUDDY
WERE LIFTING WEIGHTS
80
00:03:11,967 --> 00:03:12,967
IN THEIR BOXERS.
81
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:15,067
AND I JUST, WHEW--
82
00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:17,233
180'D OUT OF THERE.
[chuckles]
83
00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:19,333
- WE HAVE A 115
ON VENTURA BOULEVARD
84
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,733
AT 12555 IN PROGRESS.
85
00:03:21,733 --> 00:03:23,667
- UH, OFFICER RINALDI--
I'M ON MY WAY.
86
00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:24,700
- 115?
87
00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:25,767
- IT'S WHEN A FRESH ZOMBIE
88
00:03:25,767 --> 00:03:27,767
IS CAUSING A DISTURBANCE
IN A PUBLIC...
89
00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:28,800
IT'S A ZOMBIE.
90
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,800
- AWESOME.
- YOU CALM DOWN.
91
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:36,733
- OH, HEY, CAPTAIN.
92
00:03:36,733 --> 00:03:38,267
- I ONCE SPENT 36 HOURS
AT MY DESK
93
00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:39,600
WITHOUT A BATHROOM BREAK.
94
00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,367
YOU KNOW HOW I DID THAT?
95
00:03:41,367 --> 00:03:43,833
WILLPOWER
AND LOWER-ABDOMINAL STRENGTH.
96
00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:45,367
THAT'S WHY,
I TAKE MY SHIRT OFF,
97
00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:47,433
YOU MIGHT JUST CONFUSE ME
WITH A BARREL OF SNAKES.
98
00:03:47,433 --> 00:03:50,433
SO WHAT YOU LOOKING FOR ON
THE INTERNET HERE, MY FRIEND?
99
00:03:50,433 --> 00:03:51,733
- OH, I'M JUST CHECKING
MY EMAILS, CAPTAIN.
100
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:52,967
- DON'T BE ASHAMED.
101
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,500
SURFING THE WEB'S
ABOUT THE ONLY WAY
102
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,733
A DESK JOCKEY STAYS SANE
NOWADAYS.
103
00:03:56,733 --> 00:03:58,767
- CAPTAIN,
IT'S THE ZOMBIE FIGHTS.
104
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:00,067
YOU KNOW,
IT'S LIKE BUM FIGHTS,
105
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,167
BUT INSTEAD,
THEY USE ZOMBIES.
106
00:04:02,167 --> 00:04:05,633
- THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING
AND COMPLETELY DEBASED.
107
00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:07,500
I'D LIKE TO SEE ONE.
- ALL RIGHT.
108
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,933
[crowd cheering]
109
00:04:08,933 --> 00:04:10,900
- SEE?
110
00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:14,733
- YOU KNOW, A FRIEND OF MINE
SHOOTS THESE.
111
00:04:14,733 --> 00:04:16,567
- YEAH, WELL,
YOUR FRIEND'S A SICK MAN.
112
00:04:16,567 --> 00:04:19,100
THIS IS SOME KIND
OF PORNOGRAPHIC NECROPHILIA.
113
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,467
IT'D BE NO DIFFERENT
THAN IF A...
114
00:04:21,467 --> 00:04:22,467
OH! WOW!
- OH!
115
00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:23,667
CAPTAIN, YOU SEE THAT?
116
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:27,367
- WOW!
117
00:04:27,367 --> 00:04:29,067
NOW, DO THEY CALL THAT GUY
GROUND BEEF
118
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:30,300
BECAUSE HE LOOKS
LIKE GROUND BEEF
119
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:32,600
OR BECAUSE HE TURNS HIS
OPPONENTS INTO GROUND BEEF?
120
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,967
OR DOES HE JUST LIKE
GROUND BEEF?
121
00:04:33,967 --> 00:04:35,900
- YOU KNOW, THAT'S
A GREAT QUESTION, CAPTAIN.
122
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,067
NOW, YOU SEE,
I THINK THE BIG GUY'S
123
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,067
GONNA TEAR HIS HEAD OFF.
- IT'S A BET.
124
00:04:39,067 --> 00:04:40,967
LOSER HAS TO RUB
THE OTHER GUY'S SHOULDERS.
125
00:04:40,967 --> 00:04:44,600
- OH, I'M NOT DOWN
WITH THAT, CAPTAIN.
126
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,067
- YOU KNOW,
I JUST TEXTED MY BUDDY.
127
00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:48,567
HE SAYS HE'S SHOOTING
A BUNCH MORE OF THESE TONIGHT.
128
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:57,067
- VAMPS HAVE HIJACKED A LOT
OF BLOODMOBILES LATELY,
129
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:58,700
SO WE THOUGHT IT'D BE
A GOOD IDEA
130
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,867
TO MAKE SURE THIS ONE'S HEADED
BACK TO THE HOSPITAL.
131
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:03,667
- [chuckles] KIND OF REMEMBER
THAT BEING MY IDEA, BUT...
132
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:05,067
- REALLY, BILLY?
133
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:07,100
I HAD A PRETTY GOOD MILKSHAKE
FROM MICKEY D'S EARLIER.
134
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,067
WAS THAT YOUR IDEA, TOO?
- YEAH.
135
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:10,800
YEAH, THAT WAS MY IDEA.
136
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,567
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT WAS YOUR IDEA. IT WAS.
137
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,567
- AH, EVERYTHING
SEEMS KOSHER HERE.
138
00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,400
- YEAH. STILL A GOOD IDEA
WE CHECKED IT OUT, THOUGH.
139
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,400
- YEAH, I SAID IT WAS
A GOOD IDEA BEFORE.
140
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,167
- YEAH, WHEN YOU THOUGHT
IT WAS YOUR IDEA.
141
00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:36,067
- BILLY, DO YOU FEEL LIKE
I DON'T COMPLIMENT YOU ENOUGH,
142
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:37,867
OR I TAKE YOU FOR GRANTED
OR SOMETHING?
143
00:05:37,867 --> 00:05:40,400
- I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE SOMETIMES.
144
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,533
- WELL, IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY,
I APOLOGIZE.
145
00:05:43,533 --> 00:05:45,767
- THANK YOU.
146
00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:53,600
HEY, YOU NOTICE
ANYTHING WEIRD GOING ON?
147
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:54,833
- LIKE WHAT?
148
00:05:54,833 --> 00:05:56,933
- WELL, THEY'RE NOT TAKING
BLOOD IN, STU.
149
00:05:56,933 --> 00:05:59,200
THEY'RE TAKING BLOOD OUT.
150
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,267
- JESUS CHRIST,
YOU'RE RIGHT.
151
00:06:01,267 --> 00:06:03,933
GREAT JOB, BILLY.
152
00:06:03,933 --> 00:06:05,600
BILLY...
153
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,633
I SAID, "GREAT JOB."
154
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:09,433
- THANKS, MAN.
155
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:10,433
AH!
156
00:06:10,433 --> 00:06:12,067
- SEAT BELT.
- OHH! SEAT BELT.
157
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,967
- SEAT BELT.
- THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.
158
00:06:13,967 --> 00:06:14,900
[both groan]
159
00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:30,667
[gunshots]
- OHH! THEY'RE SHOOTING!
160
00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:31,833
THEY'RE SHOOTING.
161
00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:33,400
- KEEP SHOOTING!
162
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,200
- OH!
163
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,133
- HO!
164
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,300
- ATTENTION,
THIS IS THE UTF.
165
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:45,100
- WAIT. DO THEY KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
166
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,200
- OF COURSE THEY KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
167
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,267
ATTENTION, THIS
IS THE UNDEAD TASK FORCE.
168
00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:51,767
WE HAVE YOU BLOCKED IN.
169
00:06:51,767 --> 00:06:54,267
EXIT THE VEHICLE
WITH YOUR HANDS UP.
170
00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:56,633
SURRENDER THE BLOOD
AND YOUR WEAPONS.
171
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,600
- WE'LL HAND OVER THE BLOOD,
BUT NEVER OUR WEAPONS.
172
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,500
- I 100% REFUSE TO NEGOTIATE
WITH TERRORISTS.
173
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,100
- SEEMS LIKE YOU ALREADY ARE.
- I 100% AM NOT.
174
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:08,067
- WELL, WHATEVER, DUDE.
THE BALL'S IN YOUR COURT.
175
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:12,700
- SURRENDER YOUR WEAPONS,
176
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:15,833
AND WE'LL LET
YOU KEEP THE BLOOD.
177
00:07:15,833 --> 00:07:18,700
I FIGURE IF WE HAD THEIR
WEAPONS, WE COULD GET THE BLOOD.
178
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:20,100
- WE ARE HOLDING
A NURSE HOSTAGE.
179
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,767
WE DEMAND A CLEAR PATH
TO THE EXIT.
180
00:07:21,767 --> 00:07:23,167
- THEY'RE BLUFFING.
181
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:26,267
IF THEY HAD A HOSTAGE,
THEY'D HAVE SAID SO EARLIER.
182
00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:28,800
- WE DON'T KNOW THAT, BILLY.
I'M VERY STRICT ABOUT THIS.
183
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,633
YOU CANNOT NEGOTIATE
WITH THE UNDEAD.
184
00:07:30,633 --> 00:07:32,133
- OR THE DEAD.
185
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,067
- ALL RIGHT,
THIS LOOKS LIKE A GOOD ONE.
186
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:40,233
ZOMBIE HILFIGER
VERSUS BLACK RUDY.
187
00:07:40,233 --> 00:07:41,700
- I GOT TO GO
WITH BLACK RUDY.
188
00:07:41,700 --> 00:07:43,067
- AND I'LL GO
WITH ZOMBIE HILFIGER,
189
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:44,367
POLO SHIRT AND ALL.
190
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:45,933
- DONE. SO THAT'S
A GENTLEMEN'S BET, RIGHT?
191
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,267
- CORRECT.
LOSER HAS TO WEAR HIS BALLS
192
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,533
ON THE OUTSIDE OF HIS PANTS.
193
00:07:48,533 --> 00:07:50,800
- THAT'S A GENTLEMEN'S BET?
- IT IS FOR ME.
194
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:54,700
[crowd shouting]
195
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:57,200
AAH! MAN!
196
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,067
BLACK RUDY'S GOT SOME GAME!
197
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,333
- YES, HE DOES.
198
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,767
- LOOKS LIKE I BETTER
START UNZIPPING.
199
00:08:01,767 --> 00:08:03,167
[zipper opens]
200
00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:05,133
[crowd cheering]
201
00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:10,400
- UM, CAPTAIN...
202
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,867
THAT'S MY DAD, MAN.
203
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:18,267
[zipper closes]
204
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:22,100
[siren wails]
205
00:08:22,100 --> 00:08:23,700
- WHERE IS IT?
206
00:08:23,700 --> 00:08:25,267
- WHO?
207
00:08:25,267 --> 00:08:27,400
- DID YOU CALL ABOUT A ZOMBIE?
208
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,400
- YEAH.
209
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,200
- OKAY, THEN HIM.
HER. IT!
210
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,067
- OH, UM, I-I WAS, UH,
STARTING TO CLOSE UP,
211
00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,500
AND THEN I SAW HER
AT THE, UH,
212
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,667
CONTEMPORARY CASUAL SECTION?
213
00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:40,733
- ARE YOU ASKING ME
OR TELLING ME?
214
00:08:40,733 --> 00:08:43,133
- TELLING YOU?
- DID YOU SEE ANYONE GET BIT?
215
00:08:44,533 --> 00:08:46,600
- NO.
216
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:47,733
NO.
217
00:08:47,733 --> 00:08:49,667
UH, CASUALS
ARE NEAR THE LINGERIE SEC--
218
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:52,300
- YEAH, I KNOW.
I SHOP HERE.
219
00:08:56,767 --> 00:08:58,400
- WOW, 70% OFF.
220
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,067
YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME
I BUY IRREGULAR UNDERWEAR,
221
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:03,900
I ALWAYS END UP
WITH ONE CHEEK HANGING OUT.
222
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,733
- THAT'S A GREAT STORY.
223
00:09:08,533 --> 00:09:09,900
EXCUSE ME, MA'AM.
224
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:12,233
UH, WE'RE ASKING ALL CUSTOMERS
TO EXIT THE STORE
225
00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:14,300
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
226
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:15,900
MA'AM?
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
227
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,233
- WHY ISN'T SHE
TURNING AROUND?
228
00:09:17,233 --> 00:09:18,167
- SHH.
229
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,733
TURN AROUND, MA'AM.
230
00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:31,833
MA'AM?
231
00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:38,867
MA'AM?
232
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:42,367
OH, MY GOD.
233
00:09:44,867 --> 00:09:46,667
- [screaming]
234
00:09:48,267 --> 00:09:50,367
- NO!
- [snarling]
235
00:09:55,700 --> 00:09:57,267
- AAH!
236
00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:04,133
- KIRSTEN!
237
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,167
KIRSTEN!
238
00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:28,467
[gunshot]
239
00:10:30,633 --> 00:10:32,633
- DON'T SHOOT!
DON'T SHOOT!
240
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,667
- [snarling]
241
00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:43,533
- [exhales deeply]
242
00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:45,433
- WHAT THE [bleep] DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?
243
00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:47,133
[gunshot]
- JESUS!
244
00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:56,833
MA'AM, YOU CAN COME OUT NOW.
245
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,667
- YOU SURE
YOU'RE UP FOR THIS?
246
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,267
- YEAH, I'M SURE.
247
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:11,100
- UP TO YOU.
I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE
248
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,800
FINDING OUT MY FATHER
WAS A ZOMBIE.
249
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:17,267
- ZOMBIE--MAN, I DIDN'T EVEN
KNOW HE WAS FREAKIN' DEAD.
250
00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:18,800
- WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW HIM?
251
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:21,267
- I DON'T KNOW.
WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 12.
252
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:23,567
- WALKED OUT ON YOU?
- NO.
253
00:11:23,567 --> 00:11:25,900
I KICKED HIS ASS OUT
FOR PUTTING HANDS ON MY MOMS.
254
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,967
- I HAD A BAD SITUATION
WITH MY FATHER AS WELL.
255
00:11:27,967 --> 00:11:30,500
HE USED TO TRAVEL A LOT--
GO TO LONDON.
256
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,400
I DON'T KNOW WHY LONDON,
ALWAYS LONDON.
257
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,967
HE'D BRING ME BACK
ARGYLE SOCKS.
258
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:36,667
I'M A NUDIST.
259
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:39,233
I SHAVE MY BODY DOWN
TO KEEP IT REAL SMOOTH.
260
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,233
I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
I WALKED DOWN TO THE BEACH,
261
00:11:41,233 --> 00:11:44,433
PEOPLE WERE LOOKING AT ME LIKE
I WAS THIS BIG, MUSCULAR BABY--
262
00:11:44,433 --> 00:11:46,833
THE WIND WHISTLING
AGAINST MY SKIN.
263
00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:49,400
BUT I GOT USED TO IT,
264
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,133
EVEN CAME TO ENJOY IT.
265
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:54,067
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY
IS THAT, YOU KNOW,
266
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,333
YOUR FATHER'S A ZOMBIE.
267
00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:58,300
I'M A NUDIST.
268
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,533
IT'S ALL THE SAME THING
SOMETIMES.
269
00:12:07,867 --> 00:12:09,533
- I'LL WAIT THEM OUT.
270
00:12:09,533 --> 00:12:11,433
I HAVE NO PROBLEM
PLAYING THAT GAME.
271
00:12:11,433 --> 00:12:14,100
- UM, ANY IDEA HOW LONG
THIS GAME MIGHT TAKE?
272
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,433
- WHY, YOU GOT A BETTER PLAN?
273
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:17,767
- NO, I JUST, UH--
I GOT TO GO PEE, THAT'S ALL.
274
00:12:17,767 --> 00:12:18,933
- YEAH, I HEAR THAT.
275
00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:20,333
- I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE GONE
AT THE STATION,
276
00:12:20,333 --> 00:12:21,700
BUT THEN
I HAD TO MAKE A PHONE CALL.
277
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,333
AND, UH, I DIDN'T WANT
THE OTHER PERSON TO HEAR ME.
278
00:12:23,333 --> 00:12:24,667
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"I'M HOLDING MY PENIS."
279
00:12:24,667 --> 00:12:25,767
IT'S A WHOLE THING.
- JESUS.
280
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,300
- COULD PUT HIM ON MUTE.
- QUIET, YOU GUYS.
281
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,467
LET ME THINK.
282
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:33,200
- IN THIS CORNER...
283
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,267
RAVASHING RODDY!
284
00:12:36,267 --> 00:12:38,733
- IT'S JUST ONE BIG MASQUERADE
FOR THESE PEOPLE.
285
00:12:38,733 --> 00:12:40,667
- IN THE OTHER CORNER...
286
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:43,067
THE CRUSHER!
287
00:12:43,067 --> 00:12:45,433
[crowd cheering]
288
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,900
- GUY'S GOT A HAMMER
FOR A HAND.
289
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,067
- THAT'S A WHAT?
290
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:54,400
- THAT'S A SLEDGEHAMMER
FOR A HAND.
291
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:55,733
THEY ATTACHED A SLEDGEHAMMER
TO HIS FOREARM.
292
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:56,833
- THEY CAN DO THAT?
293
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:58,400
- THEY CUT HIS HAND OFF.
I GUESS SO.
294
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,567
[crowd shouting]
295
00:13:02,733 --> 00:13:04,467
- KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED.
296
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:06,067
YOU DON'T WANT ANY OF THAT
ZOMBIE JUICE IN YOUR MOUTH.
297
00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:07,333
- COPY THAT, CAPTAIN.
298
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,667
- OOH!
299
00:13:16,667 --> 00:13:19,067
- AND TOP HAT IS DOWN
FOR THE COUNT!
300
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:22,500
ANOTHER WIN FOR THE CRUSHER!
301
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,867
[feedback whines]
- [clears throat]
302
00:13:26,867 --> 00:13:29,700
ON THE COUNT OF THREE,
303
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:33,067
I WANT YOU TO THROW THE KEYS
TO THE BLOODMOBILE
304
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:34,833
OVER TO US.
305
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,667
- WAIT. DO THEY KNOW
WHERE WE ARE?
306
00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,933
- OF COURSE THEY KNOW
WHERE WE ARE.
307
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,567
[clears throat]
308
00:13:42,567 --> 00:13:45,067
WE'RE BY THE POLICE CAR,
BY THE ENTRANCE--
309
00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:47,733
THE SERVICE ENTRANCE.
310
00:13:47,733 --> 00:13:51,467
YOU KNOW THAT.
BUT MY PARTNER--NEVER MIND.
311
00:13:51,467 --> 00:13:53,167
ON THE COUNT OF THREE,
THROW THE KEYS.
312
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:54,800
ONE...TWO...
313
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,767
[tires squealing]
THREE.
314
00:14:01,767 --> 00:14:05,067
[tires screeching]
- AAH!
315
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:06,100
OH!
316
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,867
- HOLY BALL PASTE!
THEY DID HAVE A HOSTAGE!
317
00:14:08,867 --> 00:14:10,767
YOU ALL RIGHT?
- YOU TAKE CARE OF THE HOSTAGE!
318
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:12,433
I'LL CALL IT IN.
319
00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:15,200
WE GOT A STOLEN BLOODMOBILE
GOING WAS ON ADDI--
320
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,600
- JUST HANG ON, ALL RIGHT?
321
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,833
- WE GOT A STOLEN BLOODMOBILE
GOING WEST ON ADDISON
322
00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,067
FROM SHERMAN OAKS HOSPITAL.
323
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,700
REPEAT--WE GOT
A STOLEN BLOODMOBILE
324
00:14:21,700 --> 00:14:24,067
GOING WEST ON ADDISON
FROM SHERMAN OAKS HOSPITAL.
325
00:14:24,067 --> 00:14:25,833
- OH, I AM SERIOUSLY
GONNA PISS MY PANTS.
326
00:14:25,833 --> 00:14:27,600
- GO TO THE BATHROOM!
- I--
327
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,267
- YOU ARE A GROWN MAN!
328
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:30,867
GO FIND A PLACE
AND GO TO THE BATHROOM!
329
00:14:30,867 --> 00:14:33,633
- DON'T WATCH ME.
- WHY--WHY WOULD I WATCH YOU?
330
00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:35,067
- I SWEAR TO GOD,
I'M GONNA SHOOT HIM.
331
00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:38,067
- MY DAUGHTER KNOWS
WHEN TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
332
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:39,500
SHE'S FIVE!
333
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:41,167
- IN OUR NEXT BOUT,
334
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,967
IN THIS CORNER,
335
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:46,367
BLACK RUDY!
336
00:14:46,367 --> 00:14:47,767
[cheers and applause]
337
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,600
- HEY, CAPTAIN.
THAT'S MY DAD RIGHT THERE, MAN.
338
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,600
- AND IN THE OTHER CORNER,
339
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,100
RUDY!
340
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:03,500
[zombies groaning]
341
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:10,467
- [growling]
342
00:15:18,733 --> 00:15:20,067
- YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
343
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:22,367
- YEAH.
I'M GOOD, CAPTAIN.
344
00:15:22,367 --> 00:15:23,433
I'M ALL RIGHT.
345
00:15:34,533 --> 00:15:37,100
ALL RIGHT,
THAT'S ENOUGH, CAPTAIN.
346
00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:51,467
- OKAY, PEOPLE, UTF!
NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
347
00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:04,433
OKAY, [bleep]-HOLES,
TIME TO PACK IT IN!
348
00:16:04,433 --> 00:16:06,133
YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH
OF DESPICABLE BOTTOM-FEEDERS.
349
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,133
YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED
OF YOURSELF,
350
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,267
DERIVING PLEASURE
FROM OTHER PEOPLE'S MISERY.
351
00:16:10,267 --> 00:16:12,867
I WISH NOTHING BUT BAD THINGS
ON ALL OF YOU.
352
00:16:12,867 --> 00:16:14,367
DRIVE SAFE!
353
00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:19,433
[Black Rudy snarling]
354
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:25,067
- WALK AWAY, JOHN-JOHN.
355
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:28,400
JOHN-JOHN!
356
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,767
WALK AWAY. I GOT THIS.
357
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,100
IT'S OKAY.
358
00:16:44,733 --> 00:16:46,500
YEAH, I THOUGHT I STILL
SMELLED [bleep]-HOLE.
359
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,733
LET'S GO!
OUT OF HERE, NOW!
360
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,100
- SO HOW DRUNK
AM I GONNA HAVE TO GET YOU
361
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,867
BEFORE YOU TALK
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?
362
00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:56,667
- YOU KNOW
I DON'T DRINK, CAPTAIN.
363
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,533
- YEAH, ME NEITHER,
TO BE HONEST.
364
00:16:58,533 --> 00:17:00,067
I MEDICATE IN OTHER WAYS--
365
00:17:00,067 --> 00:17:02,200
DIET, FRESH KALE.
366
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,067
OTHER TIMES I LIKE TO REGULATE
THE SEMEN CONTENT OF MY BODY.
367
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,267
WANT TO KNOW HOW I DO THAT?
- NO.
368
00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:11,333
- I GET
INTO A DEEP SUMO SQUAT...
369
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:13,367
- SO I JUST GOT WORD
FROM DASHELL.
370
00:17:13,367 --> 00:17:14,633
- MM-HMM.
371
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:17,100
- THEY FOUND THE BLOODMOBILE,
BUT NOT THE VAMPS.
372
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,467
- THAT'S OKAY.
WE DID GOOD WORK TODAY.
373
00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:23,867
WOW, THIS IS AWESOME.
WHAT KIND OF BEER IS IT?
374
00:17:23,867 --> 00:17:25,933
- I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST
WHATEVER BEER THEY HAD ON TAP.
375
00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:27,167
- WOW, IT'S REALLY GOOD.
376
00:17:27,167 --> 00:17:29,900
YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
GOOD CALL ON THE BEERS.
377
00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,567
- STU...
- YEAH?
378
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:34,867
- YOU CAN STOP WITH THAT.
- RIGHT.
379
00:17:34,867 --> 00:17:36,833
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT I VALUE YOUR PLACE
380
00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:38,200
IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
381
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,333
- I KNOW THAT, PARTNER.
382
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,067
I KNOW YOU DO.
383
00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:44,667
- YOU ENTERED A COMBAT AREA
WITHOUT PROPER BACKUP.
384
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:47,267
- A COMBAT AREA?
- YEAH, THE STOCKROOM.
385
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,400
YOU ENDANGERED YOURSELF
AND A CIVILIAN
386
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,867
BY USING HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT
INSTEAD OF YOUR GUN.
387
00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:54,067
AND I DON'T KNOW,
YOU THOUGHT I WAS OLD.
388
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,100
- NOT OLD.
389
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,267
I SAID OLDER.
390
00:17:57,267 --> 00:18:00,433
AND I SAID
YOU WERE REALLY PRETTY.
391
00:18:00,433 --> 00:18:01,500
YOU KNOW WHAT?
392
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,933
TO BE TOTALLY HONEST
WITH YOU,
393
00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:06,567
I FEEL LIKE YOU'VE HAD IT OUT
FOR ME SINCE DAY ONE.
394
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:08,500
AND MAYBE IT
WAS SOMETHING I SAID,
395
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,867
OR, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE YOU'RE
JUST ONE OF THOSE WOMEN
396
00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:13,067
WHO DOESN'T LIKE OTHER WOMEN.
- THAT IS NOT TRUE.
397
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,767
- YOU LADIES WANT TO PLAY
A LITTLE POOL?
398
00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:16,400
- NO.
399
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,400
- TESTY.
400
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,900
HOW ABOUT YOU, SISSY-CANS?
401
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:21,200
YOU GUYS WANT TO GET YOUR ASSES
KICKED OVER AT THE POOL TABLE.
402
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,633
- I'M IN.
- GOOD MAN.
403
00:18:22,633 --> 00:18:24,533
- NOT ME.
I GOT TO GO HOME.
404
00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:25,733
GET UP WITH THE KIDS.
405
00:18:25,733 --> 00:18:27,433
- DON'T FORGET TO WEAR
YOUR DRESS.
406
00:18:27,433 --> 00:18:30,067
- WELL, I NEED TO USE
EL BAÑO,
407
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,467
WHICH COULD BE
A POTENTIAL COMBAT AREA,
408
00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:36,400
SO I MIGHT NEED SOME BACKUP,
IF YOU WANT TO JOIN.
409
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,067
- NO, THANKS.
410
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:40,667
- ALL RIGHT.
- GOOD LUCK.
411
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:47,700
- HEY.
- HEY.
412
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,367
WHAT'S UP, JULES?
413
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,133
- GOOD NIGHT, GUYS.
414
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,900
- HOME SWEET HOME.
415
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,500
- OKAY. WELL, THIS IS
WHERE I SAY GOOD NIGHT.
416
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,200
- YOU WANT ME TO COME IN
FOR A CUP OF COFFEE?
417
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,667
- NO, CAPTAIN.
418
00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:32,900
- LOOK, JOHN-JOHN, WHAT HAPPENED
TONIGHT IS VERY, VERY SAD.
419
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:35,067
BUT YOU GOT TO MOVE ON.
420
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:37,067
I'M YOUR FATHER NOW.
- WHAT'D YOU SAY?
421
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:38,500
- YOU NEED A SHOULDER
TO CRY ON,
422
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,067
I GOT TWO BIG ONES
RIGHT HERE.
423
00:19:40,067 --> 00:19:42,267
YOU WANT TO LAY THAT WEARY HEAD
IN SOMEONE'S LAP...
424
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:44,067
[pats lap]
YOU LOOK NO FURTHER.
425
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,633
- I THINK I'M JUST GONNA
GO TO BED, CAPTAIN.
426
00:19:45,633 --> 00:19:48,067
- YOU DO THAT, BUT MAYBE
TREAT YOURSELF FIRST.
427
00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:50,133
RUN A BATH,
LIGHT SOME CANDLES,
428
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:53,333
THROW ON SOME LADY GAGA
AND DANCE LIKE NOBODY'S LOOKING.
429
00:19:53,333 --> 00:19:55,067
- I THINK I'M JUST GONNA GO
STRAIGHT TO BED.
430
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,233
I'M PRETTY TIRED.
- YEAH.
431
00:19:57,233 --> 00:19:58,533
- GOOD NIGHT, CAPTAIN.
432
00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:00,167
- HEY.
- YEAH.
433
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,867
- I HAD A GREAT TIME TONIGHT.
434
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,367
- GOOD NIGHT.
435
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,467
- YOU GUYS LIKE
TO SWIM IN THE RAW?
436
00:20:13,467 --> 00:20:16,467
I KNOW A POOL,
HEATED.
437
00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:19,400
Captioning by CaptionMax
www.captionmax.com
438
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:26,600
- WE ARE UNDER OVERSIGHT
BY INTERNAL AFFAIRS.
439
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,933
- WELL, THAT'S MORONIC.
440
00:20:27,933 --> 00:20:29,633
- COULD WE PLEASE
JUST HAVE SOME FUN TODAY?
441
00:20:29,633 --> 00:20:31,700
[tires squealing]
442
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,700
- OH!
- IT'S A TURNING PARTY.
443
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,433
- CAN YOU IMAGINE
WHAT THE SEX IS LIKE?
444
00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:38,067
- I'LL IGNORE THAT QUESTION
WITH A STORY.
445
00:20:38,067 --> 00:20:39,400
[power tools whirring]
446
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,767
- [moaning]
447
00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:42,767
- [trilling tongue]
448
00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:44,333
- MINDFREAK.
- YEAH.
30036
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