All language subtitles for Blackish s08e06 Mom Mentor.eng

Dre: When your kids
are old enough to start dating,

you hope they don't
pick duds.

And when Junior
picked Olivia,

Bow realized
he picked a winner.

If this was a real hospital,
you would totally get fired

for making out
in the operating room.

Mm.You cannot do that.

Right.

They were growing closer
and closer...

"And that's why
it would be an honor

to get a master's degree
from your fine institution."

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm,
mm-hmm.

Okay, so,
this application

is an opportunity for you
to show them who you are.

Right.So, you want to be
a little more personal --

like, a little more
passionate.

And don't be afraid

to sprinkle in a little
bit of White guilt.

Mm.

Mm-hmm.Okay.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

Okay.

"To open
my own practice..."

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

"...and provide help for those
that need it the most."

Sprinkle.

"The underserved
communities."

More sprinkle.

"Of color."Whoo! Yes!

That's what I'm talking about.
That's it. That's it.

That's the one.That's the one.
There you go!

So, why are you only applying
to three schools?

It's a common application.
Why are you limiting yourself?

It's kind of expensive to apply
to all of these schools.

Well, I would like
to pay for it.

Really?
Yes, I would.

And so, I think you should apply
to the entire East Coast,

and include McGill
because those are Canadian dollars,

and that's not
real money.

Well, thank you!

You are welcome.
Get in there.That's so sweet!

Soon, nobody could miss
Rainbow's influence on Olivia.

Wow! You two
look like twins!

Yeah, the guy at the movie
theater thought so, too.

He said
we looked like sisters,

so we're kind of
leaning into it.

Olivia:
Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God.What?
What, what, what?

Is Denzel single?

I got into Yale.

Oh, my God!That is amazing!

We did --
We did it!

Oh, my God!

We did it!Yeah.

We did it!
We got into Yale!

I got into Yale.
I got into Yale.

I just didn't think
a school like this

would ever even consider me,
you know?

What?
Why wouldn't they?

You are a star.

And I'm excited to be the planet
that is orbiting you.

That's sweet.
This is amazing.

But in the big picture,
it doesn't change anything.

I'm excited to stay here
with Junior and go to USC.

Wait, wait, wait now.

You're notgoing
to Yale?

No.

It's like if Idris Elba
hit on me at a bar.

Mm-hmm.Yes, it's flattering,

but I'm happy with
who I'm with.

SC is the place
for me.

And besides, if it was good
enough for my mentor,

then it's good enough
for me.

Awww!

Okay, you know what?

I am happy to teach you
everything there is to know.

I will even show you
the best place to throw up

before a final.

You're always
looking out for me.

I got you. I got you.

Oh, my God.

I almost forgot
to call my mom.

I'll be right back.

Let's see her withhold
praise for this.

Mm-hmm.

Looks like you got quite
a catch there, Junior.

Now all you have to do

is keep track of
her ovulation schedule,

get her pregnant, and you've
trapped yourself a wife.

I'm not gonna
do that, Pops.

Unh-unh. Hey, hey, hey.
You listen to your grandad.

Now, I'm gonna go get you
a thermometer

so you'll know when
to make your move.

Alright, now!
Hey!

It's not"alright, now."

While Mama was making Junior
a fertility calendar,

I took Jack and Diane
to be a part of a focus group

for the last spot I did
for Urban.

So, just, uh, watch the ad
and tell us your thoughts.

Oh, and if any of your mothers
are single,

just write their numbers
on that clipboard.

[ Chuckles ]
Okay.

♪♪

How was your day?

Terrible.

I got in a fight
with Sophie,

and now I'm not allowed
within 300 feet

of the yearbook office.

You thoughtyour day
was bad?

I accidentally released
all of the biology frogs.

Well, I can't fix
your problems,

but I can
fix you lunch.

Announcer: Homestead Mayo.

You're home.

Okay, uh, who would like
to share their thoughts

on the spot?

Uh, yes.

For the record,
that was clearly me.

And calling it a "fight" implied
that Sophie landed a few.

We'd like to speak
to the manager.

♪♪

How is it okay
for you to use things

that happen in our personal
lives in your commercial?

What are you
talking about?

The frogs, Dad.

That was my story --
my pain.

The next day, at lunch,
we had chicken wings, Dad.

That wasn't chicken.

I know it wasn't chicken.

Okay, look, I may have borrowed,
alright?

But that's part of
the creative process.

You write
what you know.

Besides,
I put myself in there.

The only thing that
looked like you in that dang commercial

was the fridge.

You gonna
make an ad about

how I think dogs
can go to college?

Okay, look, since our privacy
isn't being respected,

from now on, we're cutting
you out, okay?

No more personal stories
at dinner,

no more talking about our days
in the car,

and we're blocking you
on Instagram.

Fine. Block me.

Alright, but you'll need
my support and advice

before I need
your little funky stories.

If you say so.

But when your next commercial
is about Pops and Grandma,

you'll know the truth.

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Rainbow:
Hey. Hi.

I knew I heard
the sound of a woman

effortlessly juggling
her home life and career.

Hi, sweetheart.
What are you doing here?

Oh, I just -- I thought
I'd stop by for no reason.

Oh, I love it
when you do that.

You know, i-i-it's funny --
I was thinking about

how much you have
to manage,

all while being a mentor
to my girlfriend.

Aww.
Thank you, honey.

Yeah, you know...

it just means
so much to me to have

a mother and girlfriend
who are so close.

Olivia's like
family now.

Do you know that Ruby has
started calling her her name,

and not "that girl"?
Unbelievable.

You know, my world
is just complete

now that she's in it
and we're all together.

It makes me so happy
that you're so happy.

I thought you'd feel
that way.

[ Gasping ] Oh.

And that's why I need you
to talk Olivia

out of going to Yale.

What do you mean
"talk her out of it"?

She said she's not going.

Remember that whole
Idris thing?

Oh, don't be naive, Mom.

You would leave Dad in
a heartbeat for Idris --

and so would Olivia.

She just doesn't
know it yet.

I just know the more
she thinks about that beautiful,

British, chocolate man,
the more she's gonna want him.

Ooh. I mean, the --

Honestl--

Are we still talking
about Yale?

Idris isYale.

Oh, I get it.

They're both
irresistible!Absolutely.

It's only a matter of time
before she figures it out.

You know, I think
she's already starting

to put two
and two together.

I knew I heard
the sound of a woman

effortlessly juggling

her home life
and career.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh...

Why are you
wearing a scarf?

Oh, it's just a little chilly
in here.

This makes me
feel cozy.

Mm.

I bet it does.

So she was wearing
a scarf?

Mom, this was not
a pashmina.

This was an
apple-picking scarf.

She is planning on
spending her fall

peeping leaves
in New Haven!

But she already said
that she is going to USC.

Uh-huh.

So, all we have to do
is make sure

that she doesn't
get lured away.

She trusts you.

She listens to you.

You can nudge her
in the right direction.

[ Gasps ] Oh, n--
Oh, no, sweetheart.

No, no, no, no.
I don't -- I don't --

I don't think this is something
I should get involved with.

All I'm asking you
to do is what is best for your little man.

Oh.

My mama,
she loves me.

Oh, hon-- Ooh.

Honey, I do.
I love you so much.

Mama loves you.

Oh.

I-- Okay, I mean...

I-I'll th--
I'll think about it.

Oh!

Okay.
There she is.

There's the woman who would lift
a car off my body.

Jack and Diane
were crazy

if they thought that cutting me
off was going to shake me up.

Well, then,
no dinner for you.

See if I care.[ Cellphone swooshes ]

I can't believe
that Jack and Diane

think I need them
to do my job.

I take their sorry little
stories and put them in one ad!

Mm, not just one ad.

What are you
talking about?

Well, you did that
allergy medicine commercial

after Diane
ate crab meat

and her face blew up
like a beach ball.

Okay.And after Jack got his head
stuck in a stairwell,

you did that ad
where a kid released his head

from a banister using
Minnesota's Best Margarine.

That was a coincidence.

Then you did that tissue ad
where the dad was crying

as his twins graduated
middle school

as John Cougar Mellencamp's
"Jack & Diane"

played in
the background.

That proves nothing!

We're all influenced
by our surroundings!

Josh, he -- he pitches ads
about cats!

Stevens -- he pitches ads
about boats!

And, Ch-- Charlie,
you pitch ads

about the post office
and conspiracy theories!

How do they know
where we live, Dre?!

I --
Fair point.

You know what?
I can get inspiration

from this coffee pot or...

this charger.

Recharge your sandwiches
with Homestead Mayonnaise.

[ Charger rattles ]

I don't need them.

They're just
being stupid.

Hmm.[ Cellphone chimes ]

Oh.

My -- My tracker is saying
that Diane is within 3 miles

and gaining ground.

I'ma -- I'ma head
to the bunker.

Oh, thank God you guys
are here.

I got to ask you
a question.

Okay, um,
[Clears throat]

Junior has asked me
to convince Olivia

not to go to Yale,

which now sounds like
it's her first choice.

But I also feel like
I would nevertell a young woman

to pass up an opportunity
for a guy.

Now this sounds like
the kind of predicament

I would never understand,

but since I'm a man,
I got an opinion.

If you ask me,

real love is the only thing
that matters here.

Once you find
that special person --

as I did many years ago --

no job, no distance,
nothingcan keep you from it.

That's right, baby.

Didn't you cheat through
your entire marriage?

Whoa, whoa. I've seen you
double-dipping the guacamole.

I didn't
call youout.

I'm just saying
they deserve a chance.

Okay, so,
you're on the side

of supporting
Junior's happiness

over what might be good
for Olivia.

Of course you put
your sons first.

That's your job
as a mother --

even if it is
a personal sacrifice.

See, many years ago,

Dre made a choice that I had
a real problem with.

Mm-hmm.

But did I say anything?
Hell, no.

Mnh-mnh.
[ Scoffs ]

'Cause he's my son, and --
and he said he was happy.

So I let him
go through with it,

even though I thought he
was making a huge mistake.

You're talking about me,
aren't you?

Not everything's
about you, Rainbow.

But just to be clear,
she's talking about you.

Okay.

Look, my point is,
is, on your deathbed,

you'll never regret
putting your son first.

After all, sometimes,
when you do that,

you get something good
out of it.

[ Chuckling ]

Thank you.
Thank you, Ruby.

You're welcome, baby.Helpful.

Okay.

But now, you do put
your husband first, hmm?

Oh, absolutely, baby.

You know that, yeah?

Mm-hmm.

Unless Dre
needs anything.

While Olivia's future
weighed on Bow's mind,

I was making magic without
relying on my kids' stories.

[ Sighs, groans ]

This is trash.

Hello.
Hi.

Thought you might like
the last slice of...

[Sniffs]
chocolate cake.

Mm.
Leave the cake and go.

Okay. I'll put it
on your desk.

Oh.

"A"-minus, huh?

Seems like there's a story
behind that.

Nice try.

We're not the free-samples lady
at the grocery store.

You can't just take and take
with no intention of buyin'.

Fine.

[ Singsong voice ]
Jack.

Here you go.

I thought you might
like the last slice of chocolate cake.

So...

I had a long talk
with Diane.

Seriously?
Yeah.

She told me about your wild day
at school today.

But you know how
she can exaggerate.

So, you want to tell me about it
in your own words?

Come on, Dad.
I know what you're doing.

I know that you lied
about Diane

and you're just trying to
get stories out of me.

Well, I got a story
for you --

Jack don't crack.

Now go put that
in your little ads.

Turned out, my kids were
serious about locking me out.

Meanwhile,
Bow was having better luck

getting Olivia to let her in.

[ Both laugh ]

Well, I really appreciate you
for having me over.

This has been a really
stressful time for me.

Oh, you mean the whole
grad school decision?

Yeah.

Well, listen,
the good news is,

you can't make
a bad choice.

Right?Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean,
USC is a great school,

and I got an incredible
education there.

Right. Right.

I met some of my best friends
and the best part was,

I didn't have to be far away
from the people I loved.

Right, right. And that's why
it was my first choice.

Yeah.

USC was always
my dream school,

but then Yale was the school

I wouldn't even let myself
dream about.

I totally get it.

Yeah.
But it's so far away.

Right.
You know what I mean?

It's, like, in Connecticut.So far.

And it's cold there.
Right.

I mean, you can't wear
an open-toe shoe,

I'll tell you that.

And if you get a pedicure,
nobody's gonna see it

for eight months out of the
year, you know what I'm saying?

[ Both laugh ]

But USC -- I just feel like USC
is such a good fit for you.

And selfishly,
it's so nice for me

to have, like,
a young, Black, smart woman

just following
in my footsteps!

What?! Okay?

Okay, well, thanks for
supporting me, Dr. Johnson.

Oh, my God.
It's my pleasure.

What you say to me,
it really means a lot.

Oh, ba--

No, even more
than my parents.

Oh.

It's nothing.

No, it's -- it's huge.

Oh.

The fact that someone
that I trust

has been through
all of this before...

Yeah.
...makes all of the difference.

I don't know if you realize
how important your advice

and mentorship
have been to me.

So, if you think that USC
is the right choice...

then that's the choice
I'm gonna make.

Ahhh.

Go to Yale.

Excuse me?

Go to Yale,
and don't look back, okay?

I will use my miles
to pay for your ticket.

You need to
get...to...Yale.

Go to Yale!
But...

Oh!

Jah--unior!

Why would you do this
to your little man?

I-I just don't understand.

You were supposed to
convince her to stay!

But instead, you told her
to leave me?

No, I-I did not tell her
to leave.

She said that you said to go
to Yale and don't look back.

Wh...

I was really excited
for her.

It's a really great school,
Junior.

Look, I know you're upset,
but I had to tell her the truth.

And I can't hold her back,
and I know that, deep down,

you don't want to
hold her back, either.

Oh, no.
I-I absolutely do.

Junior!

What?
You know what?

I will compensate by boosting
three other women.

I just --
I cannot lose Olivia!

It'll ruin me!

I'll probably
take up smoking.

Do you hear yourself?

Please tell me that you
did not react this way

when she told you.

And that's why I think
I want to go to Yale.

Oh.

I see.

I, um...

I reacted in a way that
I think I can be proud of.

Okay.

Alright, sweetheart,
I know that you love her,

but if you're gonna be
in a relationship

that is gonna last
the long haul,

or if you're gonna be
the kind of couple

that can survive
all of the things

that life is gonna
throw at you, then...

you got to lift her up...

not hold her back.

I guess I'm so scared
to lose Olivia

I didn't really think about
what she'd be losing

by not going to Yale.

I'm being selfish,
aren't I?

Oh, my angel.

Love can turn us
into monsters.

One time,
I threw a bag of Nair

at one of Dre's
ex-girlfriends.

[ Chuckles ]
What?

But, um, what I'm saying
is that...

...sometimes, you just got to
make really hard choices

when you're in love,
okay?

I believe in you.

Thanks, Mom.

Okay.

While Junior had
some serious thinking to do,

I realized the well
had run dry.

I was getting desperate.

You got to tell me
something.

Anything!

Who pinched who?

Hmm?
Who pooped their pants?

I don't know.

[ Sighs ]

What kind of kindergarten
am I paying for?

I need something relatable
to sell cars.

Had to take another hit
off that pipe, huh?

Couldn't get enough
of our sweet, sweet brain ideas,

could you, pookie?

Pathetic.

Okay.

Look, you guys were right.

I got nothing.

Maybe I am relying on you
too much.

But you guys are where I get
my inspiration from.

You know, when it's time
for me to tell stories

and get people
to feel something,

I go to the place
where Ifeel something -- home.

Well...

I guess I could explain why
I smell like street tacos.

Wait.

Before we tell
our stories,

from now on, we need to be
fairly compensated.

Mm.

A hundred a pitch...

a thousand if the ad
gets made.

Deal.

Okay, so,
it was around 11:15

when we drove past
this taco truck

with a giant chicken
on top.

Now, it wasn't
a normal chicken.

He was wearing
overalls.

Uh, what color overalls?

Turns out, my kids have always
held me up.

I was proud of
who they'd become.

Hey.

Hey.

Got you something.

Aww.

Aww.

It's an extra large

so you can still wear
a bunch of sweaters underneath.

Mm.

You're gonna
want to layer.

Look, when you
got into Yale,

all I could think about
was what it meant to me,

because I'm scared
to lose you.

Well, you're not
gonna lose me.

Look, I know
it'll be hard,

but we can make this work
long-distance.

I'll FaceTime you
three times a day.

We'll use our air miles
to visit each other.

I'll even schedule my classes
so that we can watch

"90 Day Fiancé"
together.

But it'll be on
at like 11:00 your time.

I'll drink coffee.
I don't care.

We're gonna make
this work, okay?

We have to.

Hell, I'm best friends
with your mama.

I don't know
if we have a choice.

[ Both laugh ]

It's not always easy
to do the right thing --

especially when the right thing
costs you the most.

Here's a toast to future
Yale grad Olivia Lockhart.

Whoo!

Oh, Olivia, you're gonna love it
at White Howard.

You know, we actually
worked out the math,

and we'll be able to see each
other at least once a month.

All I have to do is hop on
a direct flight to Hartford.

Then, it is a one-hour
train ride --

plus a short cab ride --
to see my lady.

Wait till she tries to find
good barbecue in New Haven.

Well...Hey, mazel tov!

Mazel tov!
Mazel.

Olivia: You know, I just really
want to thank you all.

You've become, like,
my second family.

Aww.

Olivia, we will always
have your back.

[ Chuckles ]
And mine.

I hope this is the right time
to bring this up,

but with rent being
the way that it is,

I will, um...

probably have to
move back in.

Party's over!

Party is over. Come on.
Give it up. Give it up.

Olivia, you getting into Yale
is the worst thing

that's ever happened
to this family.

Thank you.

Thank you, son.
Goodbye.

Alright, I'm headed
to the grocery store,

so let me know if you guys
need anything special.

You know,
we've been thinking about

your long-distance
situation,

and we've got some experience
in that area.

Back in the '70s, I used to work
on this offshore rig

out in the Gulf of Mexico,
and every week,

I would get an erotic drawing
from your grandmother.

[ Laughs ]
I tried to send pictures,

but the boys
at the Fotomat

kept stealing 'em,
you know.Mmm.

Oh, God!

And then there was the time
I was traveling the country

defending my welterweight
foxy-boxing title.

Ding ding!

Earl would send me
tapes of him

reading the Barry White
lyrics.

And lots of
"Penthouse" letters.

Okay, you know what?

I think I'm just --
I'm gonna go.

Yeah, you know...

That Barry White stuff
was real good.

I wouldn't mind another one
of them exotic drawings --

you know, something like
in your foxy-boxing outfit.

Ruby's boobies
just everywhere.

Oh, well...

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