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1
00:00:09,753 --> 00:00:11,790
‐ Previously
on "Resident Alien"... ‐ I need to go home.
2
00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:14,530
‐ You're taking me home, right?
3
00:00:14,530 --> 00:00:16,700
‐ Ahh!
4
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:18,436
‐ Harry, you can't fix it.
5
00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,307
‐ I have to.
If I do not, I am stuck here.
6
00:00:20,307 --> 00:00:21,510
‐ If someone sees this,
7
00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:22,712
then things
will get worse for you.
8
00:00:24,448 --> 00:00:27,087
‐ What's that?
‐ A survival kit.
9
00:00:27,087 --> 00:00:28,658
‐ Botulinum is injectable.
10
00:00:28,658 --> 00:00:32,097
Maybe all he or she would need
to do is inject a toxin
11
00:00:32,097 --> 00:00:33,768
into a single insulin vial.
12
00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:37,141
Both the boot and the foot
were found in the same area.
13
00:00:37,141 --> 00:00:38,578
What if they fought inside,
14
00:00:38,578 --> 00:00:41,115
and then Harry
threw dead foot guy
15
00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:42,184
through the front doors?
16
00:00:42,184 --> 00:00:43,788
‐ And I throw you in the lake.
17
00:00:43,788 --> 00:00:45,658
‐ Looks like we might have
a new prime suspect.
18
00:00:45,658 --> 00:00:47,529
‐ You didn't complete
your mission.
19
00:00:47,529 --> 00:00:49,465
They'll just send someone else
to kill everyone for you.
20
00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:51,336
‐ Everyone, including Asta?
21
00:00:51,336 --> 00:00:53,106
‐ She's a human, so yes.
22
00:00:53,106 --> 00:00:54,676
‐ This cannot happen.
23
00:00:54,676 --> 00:01:01,657
♪ ♪
24
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,736
Hello?
25
00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:10,842
Asta?
26
00:01:10,842 --> 00:01:12,646
Hello?
27
00:01:12,646 --> 00:01:17,856
♪ ♪
28
00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:20,093
Asta?
29
00:01:20,093 --> 00:01:22,164
♪ ♪
30
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:23,567
Where is everybody?
31
00:01:23,567 --> 00:01:25,470
♪ ♪
32
00:01:25,470 --> 00:01:27,709
Asta?
33
00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:31,349
♪ ♪
34
00:01:31,349 --> 00:01:32,585
D'arcy?
35
00:01:32,585 --> 00:01:39,566
♪ ♪
36
00:01:42,739 --> 00:01:45,511
Ahh!
37
00:01:45,511 --> 00:01:49,285
D'arcy.
What happened to you?
38
00:01:49,285 --> 00:01:51,456
‐ You...
39
00:01:53,594 --> 00:01:55,263
Sorry‐‐you let me die.
40
00:01:55,263 --> 00:01:58,136
You let us all die, big bummer.
41
00:01:58,136 --> 00:01:59,238
‐ Asta.
42
00:01:59,238 --> 00:02:00,474
‐ Way too late for her.
43
00:02:00,474 --> 00:02:02,177
‐ No, not Asta.
44
00:02:02,177 --> 00:02:06,787
‐ She's dead because of you.
45
00:02:06,787 --> 00:02:08,390
‐ I have to help her.
46
00:02:08,390 --> 00:02:11,362
‐ Help her what,
get a better burial site?
47
00:02:11,362 --> 00:02:13,266
Come on, I mean,
she's at the top of the hill.
48
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:14,468
It's as good as you can get.
49
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,542
I'm down by the pond
and geese.
50
00:02:17,542 --> 00:02:18,911
I'll just say that.
51
00:02:18,911 --> 00:02:22,217
So feeling bad yet?
52
00:02:22,217 --> 00:02:23,453
'Cause you should.
53
00:02:23,453 --> 00:02:26,359
‐ I have to save her.
Asta!
54
00:02:27,696 --> 00:02:30,802
♪ ♪
55
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:34,208
Asta, Asta!
56
00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:35,912
Asta!
57
00:02:41,757 --> 00:02:47,569
♪ ♪
58
00:02:47,569 --> 00:02:49,706
‐ Scary.
59
00:02:52,679 --> 00:02:59,626
♪ ♪
60
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,266
‐ I did some digging.
61
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,507
In 2015 and '16,
Dr. Vanderspeigle was working
62
00:03:06,507 --> 00:03:08,209
at St. Helens Hospital
in New York,
63
00:03:08,209 --> 00:03:10,280
so I left a message,
to get some background on him.
64
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,784
‐ Hold on.
What is this I'm seeing?
65
00:03:11,784 --> 00:03:13,386
‐ Did he come out?
66
00:03:13,386 --> 00:03:14,923
‐ No, it's like some kind
of hawk in a tree
67
00:03:14,923 --> 00:03:17,562
over there ripping apart
a mouse or some shit.
68
00:03:17,562 --> 00:03:18,964
It is nasty.
69
00:03:18,964 --> 00:03:21,002
Mother Nature
takes no prisoners, Deputy.
70
00:03:21,002 --> 00:03:22,772
‐ Can I look?
‐ That's a no‐go.
71
00:03:22,772 --> 00:03:25,210
What if he comes out and kills
somebody during the handoff?
72
00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:26,880
Go ahead and twizzle me.
73
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:31,557
Okay, all right.
74
00:03:31,557 --> 00:03:34,228
Here comes our
not‐so‐good doctor right now.
75
00:03:35,565 --> 00:03:38,470
What's he doing
with all them buckets of dirt?
76
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:41,309
That's a lot of dirt
right there.
77
00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:43,446
‐ Maybe he's burying something
under the cellar,
78
00:03:43,446 --> 00:03:45,518
or someone.
79
00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,454
♪ ♪
80
00:03:47,454 --> 00:03:49,458
‐ Man, that's enough dirt
for like five adults,
81
00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:51,864
or maybe three adult bodies,
and five children,
82
00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:53,601
and maybe two jockeys.
83
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:54,703
Speaking of jockeys,
84
00:03:54,703 --> 00:03:56,740
when was the last time
you saw Todd Campbell?
85
00:03:56,740 --> 00:03:58,878
‐ My dentist?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
86
00:03:58,878 --> 00:04:00,848
‐ Are you suggesting
he's a jockey?
87
00:04:00,848 --> 00:04:02,251
‐ Well, the man's short,
he's bowlegged,
88
00:04:02,251 --> 00:04:03,286
and he wears stripes.
89
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,455
That's a goddamn jockey.
90
00:04:04,455 --> 00:04:06,492
Why you want him drilling
in your damn teeth
91
00:04:06,492 --> 00:04:07,695
I'll never know.
92
00:04:07,695 --> 00:04:13,373
♪ ♪
93
00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:16,345
‐ Summertime.
My people love the cold.
94
00:04:16,345 --> 00:04:18,951
But this body certainly
prefers these warm days.
95
00:04:18,951 --> 00:04:20,655
The smell of flowers,
96
00:04:20,655 --> 00:04:22,792
the sound of bugs
rubbing their legs together
97
00:04:22,792 --> 00:04:24,629
for mating season.
98
00:04:24,629 --> 00:04:26,032
It is more peaceful.
99
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,604
‐ Whoo!
‐ Yeah!
100
00:04:28,604 --> 00:04:31,342
‐ Ah, whoo!
101
00:04:31,342 --> 00:04:32,478
‐ Whoo!
102
00:04:32,478 --> 00:04:33,981
‐ Yeah, baby!
103
00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:36,352
‐ I hate this place.
104
00:04:36,352 --> 00:04:39,659
‐ Are you looking for a better
place to go this summer?
105
00:04:39,659 --> 00:04:41,362
Hi, I'm Mayor Mitch.
106
00:04:41,362 --> 00:04:42,799
Summer's just
around the corner,
107
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:45,771
and I can't wait to welcome you
to Jessup, Colorado,
108
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:47,509
the safest town around.
109
00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:50,548
Come taste our world‐famous
mountain spring water.
110
00:04:52,519 --> 00:04:54,589
We have the most pristine
lakes in Colorado,
111
00:04:54,589 --> 00:04:56,927
perfect for boating
and swimming,
112
00:04:56,927 --> 00:04:58,564
and if you love fishing,
113
00:04:58,564 --> 00:05:01,537
we have five varieties
of trout
114
00:05:01,537 --> 00:05:03,574
and zero varieties
of dead human feet.
115
00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:05,645
When people disappear
in Jessup,
116
00:05:05,645 --> 00:05:07,515
it's in our world‐famous
corn maze,
117
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,385
so if you're out of patience,
118
00:05:09,385 --> 00:05:11,824
and you just want to have
some fun, come visit us.
119
00:05:11,824 --> 00:05:15,397
'Cause here in Jessup the only
murder you'll see is onstage
120
00:05:15,397 --> 00:05:18,436
at our summer
Shakespeare festival.
121
00:05:18,436 --> 00:05:19,840
‐ Cool.
122
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:23,714
I'm just gonna put some cyanide
in my coffee and call it a day.
123
00:05:27,387 --> 00:05:28,557
‐ This is pathetic.
124
00:05:28,557 --> 00:05:30,060
You've been digging
for a week.
125
00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:31,697
You wouldn't have
to do any of this
126
00:05:31,697 --> 00:05:34,335
if you had just gone home
like you were supposed to.
127
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:36,974
‐ I could not go home
with that kid on board.
128
00:05:36,974 --> 00:05:39,445
I could never get him
past customs.
129
00:05:39,445 --> 00:05:41,082
‐ Yeah, that's why
there's an eject button.
130
00:05:41,082 --> 00:05:42,685
That kid's body should have
131
00:05:42,685 --> 00:05:44,388
been a shooting star
over Texas.
132
00:05:44,388 --> 00:05:47,094
‐ You don't know anything
about space.
133
00:05:47,094 --> 00:05:49,533
You are a Colorado octopus.
134
00:05:49,533 --> 00:05:51,537
‐ Is that where we are?
Shit.
135
00:05:51,537 --> 00:05:54,776
I thought this was India.
That is an Indian rug.
136
00:05:54,776 --> 00:05:56,445
You are appropriating
their culture.
137
00:05:56,445 --> 00:05:57,682
That's not a good look, man.
138
00:05:57,682 --> 00:06:00,453
‐ I saw it at a red tag sale
for $5.
139
00:06:00,453 --> 00:06:02,057
I had to buy it.
140
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:05,765
Plus, I think it really
brings the room together.
141
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,067
‐ Listen to you.
142
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,438
you‐‐that's a great price,
by the way.
143
00:06:09,438 --> 00:06:12,745
You're becoming one of them.
Look how human you are.
144
00:06:12,745 --> 00:06:14,783
You're even vulnerable
to your own people's attack.
145
00:06:14,783 --> 00:06:20,427
‐ I am not because I will cut
a hole in your octopus body
146
00:06:20,427 --> 00:06:23,099
and wear you
as a protective octo‐suit
147
00:06:23,099 --> 00:06:25,671
when they come to eradicate
all human life.
148
00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:28,644
‐ Wow, is this how
you treat a house guest?
149
00:06:28,644 --> 00:06:31,148
Then I'm glad
I didn't get you a gift.
150
00:06:32,952 --> 00:06:36,760
♪ ♪
151
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,564
‐ Who has touched this?
152
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,037
♪ ♪
153
00:06:42,037 --> 00:06:44,475
That little shit bucket.
154
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:45,912
♪ ♪
155
00:06:45,912 --> 00:06:50,453
Okay, little dickhead.
Play with my alien technology.
156
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:53,026
You deserve what's going
to happen to you.
157
00:06:53,026 --> 00:07:00,140
♪ ♪
158
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:20,881
♪ ♪
159
00:07:29,064 --> 00:07:31,637
‐ Oh, oh, wow.
Whoa, whoa.
160
00:07:31,637 --> 00:07:33,741
Whoa!
Whoa.
161
00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:40,888
♪ ♪
162
00:08:05,504 --> 00:08:08,142
‐ With my people coming
to kill everyone on Earth,
163
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:11,215
I will need a bunker
to survive.
164
00:08:11,215 --> 00:08:12,952
I will fix it up
and present it
165
00:08:12,952 --> 00:08:14,989
to Asta as her new home.
166
00:08:14,989 --> 00:08:16,626
We will live,
167
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:19,064
and all the beer‐drinking
douchebags can fry.
168
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:21,235
♪ ♪
169
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,020
‐ Have a good day.
‐ Thanks. ‐ Oh, Ben.
‐ Yeah?
170
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:32,759
‐ Are you serious?
She cannot be the new doctor.
171
00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:36,232
‐ Dr. Smallwood
is a wonderful physician.
172
00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:38,002
You know, she was part
of the first stream of women
173
00:08:38,002 --> 00:08:40,608
to graduate
from Harvard medical school.
174
00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:42,545
‐ Yeah, in the 1940s.
175
00:08:42,545 --> 00:08:44,783
‐ Years of experience.
176
00:08:44,783 --> 00:08:47,555
‐ Are you the little girl
with the broken arm?
177
00:08:47,555 --> 00:08:49,291
‐ No, I'm still the nurse.
178
00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:50,761
Your patient is
down that hallway.
179
00:08:50,761 --> 00:08:52,164
‐ Thank you, dear.
180
00:08:52,164 --> 00:08:55,671
‐ Hello there, Dr. Smallwood.
It's nice to see you again.
181
00:08:55,671 --> 00:09:00,246
‐ Hello, I know a Hawthorne
when I see one.
182
00:09:00,246 --> 00:09:03,587
‐ Ah, top of her game,
as always.
183
00:09:03,587 --> 00:09:06,793
‐ Send my best to your
twin brother, the mayor.
184
00:09:06,793 --> 00:09:10,233
Tell him I think
he's doing a dynamite job.
185
00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:13,039
‐ I will do that.
186
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:15,978
‐ Can you please tell Dr. Ethan
to come back?
187
00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:17,180
‐ He texted me.
188
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,784
There was a family emergency.
He can't come back.
189
00:09:18,784 --> 00:09:20,788
‐ What am I supposed to do?
I'm here all alone.
190
00:09:20,788 --> 00:09:22,792
‐ She's very experienced.
‐ Asta, Asta, come on.
191
00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:23,927
Let's go.
Time's a‐wasting.
192
00:09:23,927 --> 00:09:25,931
‐ Sorry, D'arce.
I can't leave.
193
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:28,102
Dr. Smallwood just started,
and it's pretty rough.
194
00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:30,340
‐ Dr. Smallwood?
What are you talking about?
195
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:32,812
She's been dead
for like 30 years.
196
00:09:32,812 --> 00:09:34,649
‐ Hello.
197
00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:38,757
‐ Oh, God, ghost.
‐ I just saw your brother.
198
00:09:38,757 --> 00:09:41,095
‐ Look, it'll be fine.
Ellen's here.
199
00:09:41,095 --> 00:09:42,999
Please go enjoy
your day off, okay?
200
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,268
Mayor's orders.
201
00:09:44,268 --> 00:09:46,673
‐ Yeah, let's get the heck
out of here before she starts
202
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,209
crawling around
on the ceiling on all fours.
203
00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,781
Come on.
‐ Okay, okay.
204
00:09:50,781 --> 00:09:52,785
I'll get my things.
205
00:10:01,703 --> 00:10:04,742
‐ Have you‐‐is it supposed
to rain tomorrow still?
206
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:06,913
‐ Why are you acting so weird?
207
00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:09,184
‐ What?
‐ Oh, my God.
208
00:10:09,184 --> 00:10:11,155
Are you uncomfortable because
you kissed me last week?
209
00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:13,961
‐ Wow, just gonna shout
that in public.
210
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:15,363
That's wonderful.
211
00:10:15,363 --> 00:10:17,300
It was actually you
who kissed me.
212
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:20,173
‐ Oh, no siree, no.
That's not how it went down.
213
00:10:20,173 --> 00:10:22,210
‐ It is how it went down.
‐ You want me to reenact it?
214
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:25,651
‐ Look, I'll be you, you be me,
and I'll kiss you.
215
00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:26,853
grab your butt,
and show you how you did it.
216
00:10:26,853 --> 00:10:27,922
Come on.
Come on over here.
217
00:10:27,922 --> 00:10:29,391
‐ No, no.
‐ I'll demonstrate.
218
00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:30,794
‐ Very funny.
‐ That's how you were.
219
00:10:30,794 --> 00:10:32,030
‐ Not gonna happen.
‐ You were like‐‐
220
00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,199
‐ No.
‐ Handy.
221
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:34,836
Oh, you're touching my butt.
You're touching my butt.
222
00:10:34,836 --> 00:10:36,105
‐ Nope.
‐ You're touching my butt.
223
00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:38,142
‐ I didn't touch her...
224
00:10:38,142 --> 00:10:40,213
‐ Oh, I love the new sign,
by the way.
225
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:45,991
♪ ♪
226
00:10:45,991 --> 00:10:48,396
‐ I want this person arrested.
227
00:10:48,396 --> 00:10:49,699
‐ You even know who did it?
228
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:51,435
‐ Pretty obvious,
mayor of Jessup.
229
00:10:51,435 --> 00:10:53,740
Didn't you see
his anti‐Patience ad?
230
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,778
‐ Yeah, it's horrible.
231
00:10:55,778 --> 00:10:57,915
Ooh, looking forward
to the corn maze though.
232
00:10:57,915 --> 00:11:00,153
‐ Oh, me too, I heard a rumor,
back in the '70s, a kid
233
00:11:00,153 --> 00:11:02,257
got lost in it for two weeks
and had to eat his friend.
234
00:11:02,257 --> 00:11:03,760
‐ Oh.
235
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,196
‐ Now, see,
that's a goddamn good maze.
236
00:11:05,196 --> 00:11:07,000
‐ Sure, kids eating kids
is fine in Jessup.
237
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,436
We find one foot in our lake,
238
00:11:08,436 --> 00:11:10,941
suddenly people think
our town isn't safe.
239
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:12,745
‐ Brutal murder
of a town doctor didn't help.
240
00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:13,881
‐ Yeah.
‐ Yeah.
241
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,283
Well, and the next doctor
disappearing.
242
00:11:15,283 --> 00:11:16,418
I mean,
people just don't vanish.
243
00:11:16,418 --> 00:11:18,089
‐ Kidnapper's still
on the loose.
244
00:11:18,089 --> 00:11:19,759
‐ And the whole sign's
coming down.
245
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,434
‐ Soon all of this
will be over.
246
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,742
Their unending consumption
and gluttony will be done,
247
00:11:27,742 --> 00:11:30,480
and Asta and I will be safe
in the bunker.
248
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:32,083
But if everyone is gone,
249
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,789
who will keep
the bunker clean?
250
00:11:34,789 --> 00:11:36,091
I hate cleaning,
251
00:11:36,091 --> 00:11:37,795
and from the look
of Asta's car,
252
00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:39,298
she's a real piglet.
253
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,135
‐ More coffee?
‐ Great.
254
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:43,172
‐ Maybe Asta's
giant father could be
255
00:11:43,172 --> 00:11:44,441
in the bunker with us.
256
00:11:44,441 --> 00:11:46,111
He can cook and clean,
257
00:11:46,111 --> 00:11:48,917
and his aftershave smells
like fryer grease.
258
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:52,858
No, it wouldn't work.
They are father and daughter.
259
00:11:52,858 --> 00:11:55,831
They may turn against me
and make me their servant.
260
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,835
‐ You look tired.
‐ I am.
261
00:11:57,835 --> 00:12:01,375
My dreams have turned evil.
262
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,079
‐ Sounds like a nightmare,
263
00:12:03,079 --> 00:12:07,454
mind's way of working out
fear or guilt.
264
00:12:07,454 --> 00:12:10,059
So what's going on, Harry?
265
00:12:10,059 --> 00:12:12,230
‐ I'm building a bunker
to save Asta
266
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:14,802
from a total extinction event,
and I'm going to lock you out
267
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:17,207
and then sweep up your ashes
with a dustpan.
268
00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:18,977
Nothing.
269
00:12:18,977 --> 00:12:25,490
♪ ♪
270
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:31,235
‐ You know,
we really need this.
271
00:12:31,235 --> 00:12:33,974
We work way too hard.
272
00:12:33,974 --> 00:12:35,945
‐ You're actually supposed
to be working today, D'arce.
273
00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:39,151
‐ Well "Load" was supposed to
be Metallica's comeback album,
274
00:12:39,151 --> 00:12:41,055
but life comes at you fast.
275
00:12:41,055 --> 00:12:42,892
‐ Can you at least
take these sandwiches
276
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,862
down to the VIP group
in Sheep's Meadow?
277
00:12:44,862 --> 00:12:47,802
And please don't moon
the tour groups.
278
00:12:47,802 --> 00:12:50,239
‐ You got it, and we'll see.
279
00:12:50,239 --> 00:12:52,377
‐ Ready to go.
280
00:12:55,517 --> 00:13:01,863
‐ ♪ Simplicity, simplicity ♪
281
00:13:01,863 --> 00:13:03,533
♪ Definitely becomin' me,
becomin' me ♪
282
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:06,873
‐ Yeah, baby, whoo!
283
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:10,013
Dead ahead!
‐ Dead ahead!
284
00:13:10,013 --> 00:13:12,551
Whoo!
285
00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:15,156
‐ ♪ New name on an old face,
a place I can escape ♪
286
00:13:15,156 --> 00:13:21,101
♪ All the noise,
all the noise ♪
287
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,272
‐ Hold still.
You're gonna get cut.
288
00:13:23,272 --> 00:13:25,944
‐ I always knew I was
very mature for my age.
289
00:13:25,944 --> 00:13:28,349
I'm not trying to brag,
but I've had BO for a year.
290
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,019
‐ You're not mature.
291
00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:32,490
You still laugh
at scatological humor.
292
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:33,960
‐ What's that?
293
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,165
Poop jokes.
294
00:13:36,165 --> 00:13:38,302
Poop.
‐ Wake up.
295
00:13:38,302 --> 00:13:40,440
This happened to you
because you went to space.
296
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,310
‐ I don't think
that's how space works.
297
00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:44,582
‐ Well, it's definitely not
how puberty works,
298
00:13:44,582 --> 00:13:46,151
so what else could it be?
299
00:13:47,354 --> 00:13:49,358
‐ I have no idea.
300
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:53,900
♪ ♪
301
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,606
‐ Hey, guys.
302
00:13:56,606 --> 00:13:58,442
I brought you some toaster
strudel and fruit punch.
303
00:13:58,442 --> 00:13:59,512
‐ It's okay, Mom.
We're not hungry.
304
00:13:59,512 --> 00:14:01,181
‐ No thank you.
305
00:14:01,181 --> 00:14:02,918
My mom said if you
offered me any junk food,
306
00:14:02,918 --> 00:14:06,191
I should say no
because it will slowly kill me.
307
00:14:06,191 --> 00:14:07,494
‐ Okay.
308
00:14:07,494 --> 00:14:11,402
Not junk, tasty snacks.
309
00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:13,172
What the hell?
310
00:14:17,013 --> 00:14:19,652
♪ ♪
311
00:14:19,652 --> 00:14:24,061
‐ ♪ Oh, I'm sailing away
my own true love ♪
312
00:14:24,061 --> 00:14:25,964
‐ And we're gonna take things
down a notch
313
00:14:25,964 --> 00:14:28,537
by mellowing out
with the closing track
314
00:14:28,537 --> 00:14:31,943
from Asta's junior year
birthday mix.
315
00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:33,613
Start with a party,
end with a vibe.
316
00:14:33,613 --> 00:14:38,957
That's what I always say
on KPRJ radio.
317
00:14:38,957 --> 00:14:41,028
‐ Kind of describes that year
in general.
318
00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:42,097
‐ Why?
319
00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:43,667
♪ ♪
320
00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:46,573
‐ ♪ From the place
where I'll be landing ♪
321
00:14:46,573 --> 00:14:49,377
‐ Right, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have put it on‐‐
322
00:14:49,377 --> 00:14:51,583
‐ No, no, it's good.
323
00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,987
I listened to this song
a million times
324
00:14:53,987 --> 00:14:56,325
while I was pregnant with Jay.
325
00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:58,997
I think she liked it, too.
She'd always kick.
326
00:14:58,997 --> 00:15:01,335
‐ I should have been there.
327
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,239
Me, not just some
stupid playlist.
328
00:15:03,239 --> 00:15:06,044
‐ What do you mean?
You didn't even know.
329
00:15:06,044 --> 00:15:08,182
♪ ♪
330
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:09,986
‐ But I should have.
331
00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:12,123
I wish you would have told me.
332
00:15:12,123 --> 00:15:14,294
I would have come running.
333
00:15:14,294 --> 00:15:17,333
I just don't like secrets.
334
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,670
‐ I hope you know
the only reason
335
00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:20,641
I would ever keep anything
from you is
336
00:15:20,641 --> 00:15:23,245
'cause I don't want
to dump shit on you.
337
00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:24,414
‐ What are you keeping from me?
338
00:15:24,414 --> 00:15:26,051
‐ What?
339
00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:28,022
Nothing.
340
00:15:28,022 --> 00:15:29,692
♪ ♪
341
00:15:29,692 --> 00:15:32,030
I'm talking about Jay.
342
00:15:32,030 --> 00:15:33,466
♪ ♪
343
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,671
You know, you were
training in Europe.
344
00:15:35,671 --> 00:15:38,142
I knew, if I told you,
you would leave.
345
00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:40,981
I didn't want you
ruining your life, too.
346
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:45,022
‐ I'm sorry, ruin my what?
I have a great life, Asta.
347
00:15:45,022 --> 00:15:46,559
I just watched my best friend
take a piss
348
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:47,728
off the side of my boat.
349
00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:51,034
It's awesome.
350
00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,538
♪ ♪
351
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:11,441
‐ Hey.
‐ Not working today?
352
00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:14,381
‐ Nah, D'arcy rescued me
from the clinic,
353
00:16:14,381 --> 00:16:15,584
took me to the lake.
354
00:16:15,584 --> 00:16:17,020
‐ Yeah?
355
00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:19,692
I hope you wore a life jacket,
maybe two.
356
00:16:19,692 --> 00:16:21,328
♪ ♪
357
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:22,731
‐ What, why?
358
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:27,473
‐ You're the only one keeping
that alien from taking us out.
359
00:16:27,473 --> 00:16:30,346
Anything happens to you,
everybody on Earth is dead.
360
00:16:30,346 --> 00:16:33,419
Do you think this blue
is too dark?
361
00:16:33,419 --> 00:16:36,693
‐ I can't help
that I'm Harry's only friend.
362
00:16:36,693 --> 00:16:38,797
‐ Maybe he should
have some more.
363
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:40,567
We're a great town.
364
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:43,472
If he can't see the value
of humans here,
365
00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:46,445
then maybe we should
become extinct.
366
00:16:46,445 --> 00:16:51,488
‐ ♪ I was reaching
to the sky ♪
367
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:54,996
♪ ♪
368
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:05,316
‐ What's he eating?
‐ Not sure.
369
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,420
Chowder?
370
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:10,226
Whatever it is,
he just dipped his pie in it.
371
00:17:10,226 --> 00:17:11,796
‐ Pie and chowder?
372
00:17:11,796 --> 00:17:13,299
That's the meal
of a serial killer.
373
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,334
Watch this.
374
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,071
You want
to understand a murderer,
375
00:17:16,071 --> 00:17:18,242
you gotta get
inside his food head.
376
00:17:18,242 --> 00:17:19,377
Jay.
377
00:17:19,377 --> 00:17:21,114
‐ Yeah?
378
00:17:21,114 --> 00:17:22,618
‐ I'll have
what Dr. V. is having,
379
00:17:22,618 --> 00:17:24,154
the exact same order.
380
00:17:24,154 --> 00:17:26,358
‐ Are you sure?
‐ Exact same.
381
00:17:26,358 --> 00:17:28,395
If he got a fly in his thing,
I want a fly in mine,
382
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,066
but put the fly
on the side though
383
00:17:30,066 --> 00:17:31,068
'cause I don't eat no flies.
384
00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:32,571
They walk on shit.
385
00:17:32,571 --> 00:17:34,407
‐ Okay.
386
00:17:36,278 --> 00:17:39,150
‐ Now Max Hawthorne
and his girlfriend
387
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:43,425
just walked in
and sat across from him.
388
00:17:43,425 --> 00:17:44,729
‐ Really?
389
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:47,701
Oh, what are they doing?
Can you tell what they saying?
390
00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:50,674
‐ I think Dr. V. just said,
391
00:17:50,674 --> 00:17:53,279
"I don't eat
with space pirates."
392
00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:54,381
‐ What?
393
00:17:55,751 --> 00:17:57,688
‐ I like your face.
394
00:17:57,688 --> 00:18:01,295
I see you took the trampoline
to the ceiling fan store.
395
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:05,303
‐ You know it's not
from a fan store.
396
00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:07,574
He had a full‐grown beard.
‐ Hmm.
397
00:18:07,574 --> 00:18:08,877
‐ Obviously, your spaceship
398
00:18:08,877 --> 00:18:10,714
caused
gravitational time dilation.
399
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:12,851
‐ Obviously.
400
00:18:12,851 --> 00:18:15,356
‐ Obviously,
your pea‐sized brain
401
00:18:15,356 --> 00:18:18,495
is very lonely in that
cavernous skull of yours.
402
00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:23,740
These idiots have no idea
his hormone irregularity
403
00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:26,244
was caused by
the alien technology he stole.
404
00:18:26,244 --> 00:18:27,815
‐ It's incredibly rude.
405
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,520
‐ I'm sorry.
I wasn't listening.
406
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,858
I was calling you an idiot
in my head.
407
00:18:32,858 --> 00:18:35,329
I have a question.
408
00:18:35,329 --> 00:18:36,866
‐ Uh...
409
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,471
"What kind
of toilet would Asta like
410
00:18:39,471 --> 00:18:41,576
to poop in in a bunker?"
411
00:18:41,576 --> 00:18:43,880
That can't be right.
‐ Come on, Deputy.
412
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,449
I thought you took
a lipreading workshop.
413
00:18:45,449 --> 00:18:48,288
‐ I could only afford
the first three classes,
414
00:18:48,288 --> 00:18:51,596
but I get lots of practice
at family gatherings.
415
00:18:51,596 --> 00:18:55,336
My grandma talks a lot
of shit about me.
416
00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:59,679
‐ We're not answering
any of your questions
417
00:18:59,679 --> 00:19:01,783
until you help him.
418
00:19:01,783 --> 00:19:06,291
‐ Okay, I will help him
419
00:19:06,291 --> 00:19:11,703
if you stand on your seats
and shout, "I just farted."
420
00:19:11,703 --> 00:19:13,472
‐ I'm not your puppet.
421
00:19:13,472 --> 00:19:14,809
‐ I'll do it.
I'll be your puppet.
422
00:19:14,809 --> 00:19:16,546
‐ No, not you.
423
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:19,852
You obviously want to do it.
424
00:19:19,852 --> 00:19:21,789
That's why it has to be her.
425
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:26,899
‐ Apple pie and plain oatmeal.
426
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:29,605
Extra, extra, extra milk.
No flies.
427
00:19:29,605 --> 00:19:31,341
Enjoy.
428
00:19:31,943 --> 00:19:33,513
‐ He's a damn psychopath.
429
00:19:33,513 --> 00:19:34,582
‐ I just farted!
430
00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:36,619
‐ Max said, "I just‐‐"
‐ I heard that.
431
00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:38,255
I heard that part.
432
00:19:38,255 --> 00:19:40,827
‐ Oh, now the kids are leaving.
Oh, wait.
433
00:19:40,827 --> 00:19:42,798
Asta just came in.
434
00:19:42,798 --> 00:19:44,334
‐ Like musical chairs in here.
435
00:19:46,271 --> 00:19:49,277
‐ You are late.
I finished eating without you.
436
00:19:49,277 --> 00:19:51,214
‐ I think you'll survive.
437
00:19:51,214 --> 00:19:54,220
‐ I prefer to eat with you.
You order a lot of food.
438
00:19:54,220 --> 00:19:57,260
I like to forage
off of your plate.
439
00:19:57,260 --> 00:20:00,499
‐ Well, maybe you should
try foraging off
440
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:03,540
someone else's plate, hm?
441
00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:05,977
I'm like your only friend.
442
00:20:05,977 --> 00:20:07,981
‐ I need only one friend.
443
00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:11,589
And one bunker butler,
but I'm working on that.
444
00:20:11,589 --> 00:20:14,294
Maybe that one.
445
00:20:14,294 --> 00:20:16,833
No, she looks like
she may leave hair
446
00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:18,937
on the wall of the shower.
447
00:20:20,372 --> 00:20:21,843
‐ I think you should spend
more time
448
00:20:21,843 --> 00:20:23,580
with some other people in town.
449
00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:27,386
‐ I have met
all the other people in town.
450
00:20:27,386 --> 00:20:29,692
They are annoying
flesh monkeys.
451
00:20:29,692 --> 00:20:31,929
‐ Okay, come on.
You got it.
452
00:20:31,929 --> 00:20:34,568
Here we go.
453
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:36,371
Hey, Liv.
‐ Hi.
454
00:20:36,371 --> 00:20:39,010
‐ Sheriff, Harry would like
to join your weekly poker game.
455
00:20:39,010 --> 00:20:41,549
‐ Oh, really?
Huh.
456
00:20:44,354 --> 00:20:48,429
‐ Asta said I do, so I do.
457
00:20:48,429 --> 00:20:49,765
‐ Oh, you know what,
Dr. Vanderspeigle?
458
00:20:49,765 --> 00:20:51,334
That'd be real nice.
459
00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:52,470
It'd give us a chance
to get to know one another.
460
00:20:52,470 --> 00:20:54,542
‐ Okay.
You going to finish that?
461
00:20:57,013 --> 00:20:59,384
‐ No, go right ahead.
‐ Thank you.
462
00:21:00,854 --> 00:21:02,490
‐ You see that?
463
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:04,027
Now, I don't know no normal man
that eat that much pie.
464
00:21:04,027 --> 00:21:05,496
I don't care how good it is.
465
00:21:05,496 --> 00:21:08,402
‐ This, too, eh?
I mean, thank you.
466
00:21:13,479 --> 00:21:15,750
‐ Okay, players.
Game is Texas hold 'em.
467
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:19,357
Tournament style, $20 buy‐in.
Quarter for the small blind.
468
00:21:19,357 --> 00:21:21,662
50¢ for the big blind.
There are only three rules.
469
00:21:21,662 --> 00:21:24,869
No spitting, no crying,
and no funny business.
470
00:21:24,869 --> 00:21:25,937
This guy knows
what I'm talking about.
471
00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:28,442
‐ I am glad I am here.
472
00:21:28,442 --> 00:21:29,812
This game will
give me a chance
473
00:21:29,812 --> 00:21:33,018
to audition more potential
helpers for our bunker.
474
00:21:33,018 --> 00:21:36,024
Is anybody here worth saving?
475
00:21:36,024 --> 00:21:38,696
‐ All right, well, let's get
this show on the road.
476
00:21:38,696 --> 00:21:40,065
‐ ♪ This is a raid ♪
477
00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:42,671
‐ Oh, and everybody
welcome Harry who says
478
00:21:42,671 --> 00:21:45,075
he knows how to play.
479
00:21:45,075 --> 00:21:46,646
I call bullshit,
but he's a rich doctor,
480
00:21:46,646 --> 00:21:48,048
so I'm gonna take him
for all he's worth
481
00:21:48,048 --> 00:21:50,085
and buy a new pair
of roller skates.
482
00:21:50,085 --> 00:21:51,789
‐ I know how to play.
483
00:21:51,789 --> 00:21:54,929
I spent 15 minutes on YouTube
to master this silly game,
484
00:21:54,929 --> 00:21:58,870
and I mostly just watched
videos of a dog named Tuna.
485
00:21:58,870 --> 00:22:01,408
‐ Oh, careful there.
486
00:22:01,408 --> 00:22:04,982
This card table is actually
a Hawthorne family heirloom.
487
00:22:04,982 --> 00:22:06,117
‐ Wish there was a story
about the table.
488
00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:07,621
‐ Are you shitting me...
‐ John.
489
00:22:07,621 --> 00:22:08,823
‐ Right now?
‐ Oh, there is actually.
490
00:22:08,823 --> 00:22:10,426
It once belonged
491
00:22:10,426 --> 00:22:12,631
to my two‐times great
grandfather Dickie Hawthorne.
492
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:13,633
He built‐‐
‐ Why?
493
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,402
‐ The first saloon here
in Patience.
494
00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:17,373
Burned down
in the great fire of '91,
495
00:22:17,373 --> 00:22:19,077
but old Dickie,
he risked his life
496
00:22:19,077 --> 00:22:22,618
to save this very table
that we're playing on tonight.
497
00:22:22,618 --> 00:22:24,487
‐ Didn't three people die
in that fire?
498
00:22:24,487 --> 00:22:25,389
‐ Four.
499
00:22:25,389 --> 00:22:26,859
‐ The thing to focus on,
I think,
500
00:22:26,859 --> 00:22:28,428
is that the table is here.
501
00:22:28,428 --> 00:22:30,432
It should actually be
in the town museum,
502
00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:32,370
but someone
keeps on taking it out.
503
00:22:32,370 --> 00:22:34,742
‐ We should probably just kiss
and make up.
504
00:22:34,742 --> 00:22:36,679
‐ She's kidding.
We're‐‐I'm very‐‐
505
00:22:36,679 --> 00:22:38,415
‐ We kiss a lot though,
so it's weird.
506
00:22:38,415 --> 00:22:40,419
‐ In high school,
we dated briefly.
507
00:22:40,419 --> 00:22:41,589
‐ Yeah, and recently,
we made out.
508
00:22:42,991 --> 00:22:44,595
She's kidding.
509
00:22:44,595 --> 00:22:48,035
‐ ♪ This is a raid
so put your hands up ♪
510
00:22:48,035 --> 00:22:51,141
♪ We're gonna win this ♪
511
00:22:51,141 --> 00:22:54,648
♪ Take the mon‐mon‐money,
this is a raid ♪
512
00:22:54,648 --> 00:22:55,884
‐ What about this one?
513
00:22:55,884 --> 00:22:58,556
Maybe he has use
to me in the bunker?
514
00:22:58,556 --> 00:23:02,096
‐ Can you cook?
‐ Sure, I cook every night.
515
00:23:02,096 --> 00:23:03,967
‐ Pie?
‐ Vegetables.
516
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:05,837
Raw, if I can,
for the nutrients.
517
00:23:05,837 --> 00:23:08,543
‐ I‐‐
‐ Like to eat healthy stuff.
518
00:23:08,543 --> 00:23:09,912
‐ Pass.
519
00:23:09,912 --> 00:23:13,519
I would rather just fill
the bunker with bales of hay.
520
00:23:13,519 --> 00:23:17,026
Time to separate the boys
from the men from the girls.
521
00:23:17,026 --> 00:23:18,630
‐ ♪ This is a raid ♪
522
00:23:18,630 --> 00:23:21,903
‐ Risk taker, interesting.
523
00:23:21,903 --> 00:23:25,476
‐ I'll raise.
Better be careful.
524
00:23:25,476 --> 00:23:27,881
Don't want you
to go broke again.
525
00:23:27,881 --> 00:23:30,820
‐ Broke?
What you talking about?
526
00:23:30,820 --> 00:23:34,895
‐ Rumor has it our doctor lost
all his money six years ago.
527
00:23:34,895 --> 00:23:37,868
Tried to sell his cabin
to my uncle.
528
00:23:37,868 --> 00:23:39,638
‐ I did not sell my cabin.
529
00:23:39,638 --> 00:23:41,709
‐ Yeah,
you backed out of the deal,
530
00:23:41,709 --> 00:23:44,147
which is why I'll enjoy
taking all your money tonight.
531
00:23:44,147 --> 00:23:45,684
No one can figure out
532
00:23:45,684 --> 00:23:48,690
how you managed
to hang on to that place.
533
00:23:48,690 --> 00:23:50,794
‐ You getting all this?
‐ I'm getting it.
534
00:23:50,794 --> 00:23:51,896
‐ Anybody got some gum?
535
00:23:51,896 --> 00:23:53,065
‐ No, no, no, no, no.
536
00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:54,868
‐ I can sure
use a piece of gum.
537
00:23:54,868 --> 00:23:56,505
I had an onion sandwich.
538
00:23:56,505 --> 00:23:57,908
It's in everybody's
best interest.
539
00:23:57,908 --> 00:23:59,678
‐ Don't mind me.
540
00:23:59,678 --> 00:24:02,784
I'm just gonna rake
in this pile of chips here.
541
00:24:02,784 --> 00:24:06,091
The good news is when I do win,
all of this money
542
00:24:06,091 --> 00:24:09,565
is going into making
a Patience tourism commercial.
543
00:24:09,565 --> 00:24:10,834
♪ ♪
544
00:24:10,834 --> 00:24:12,804
This little guy, huh?
545
00:24:12,804 --> 00:24:14,207
♪ ♪
546
00:24:14,207 --> 00:24:16,244
‐ Oh, my.
‐ There it is.
547
00:24:16,244 --> 00:24:19,785
‐ The mayor can
transmogrify matter.
548
00:24:19,785 --> 00:24:22,824
He must be part Anunnaki.
549
00:24:22,824 --> 00:24:25,697
Maybe Mayor Snowflake lives.
550
00:24:25,697 --> 00:24:27,701
His skill could be useful
in the bunker
551
00:24:27,701 --> 00:24:30,139
if there's a stray rodent
or a clogged toilet.
552
00:24:30,139 --> 00:24:31,509
‐ ♪ Put your hands up
in the air ♪
553
00:24:31,509 --> 00:24:33,946
♪ Take the mon‐mon‐money ♪
554
00:24:33,946 --> 00:24:35,684
‐ Question.
555
00:24:35,684 --> 00:24:36,986
In your medical opinion,
you know,
556
00:24:36,986 --> 00:24:38,556
as far as safety goes,
557
00:24:38,556 --> 00:24:41,962
how long can someone
choke a person during sex?
558
00:24:41,962 --> 00:24:44,535
♪ ♪
559
00:24:44,535 --> 00:24:46,706
‐ Pass.
560
00:24:46,706 --> 00:24:48,041
‐ We can talk Tuesday about it.
561
00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:50,680
♪ ♪
562
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,083
‐ ♪ This is a raid ♪
563
00:24:52,083 --> 00:24:53,251
‐ All right, Deputy.
I'm in the men's room.
564
00:24:53,251 --> 00:24:55,523
All clear, go ahead
and give me a double honk,
565
00:24:55,523 --> 00:24:56,992
so I know you still hear
everything all right.
566
00:24:58,061 --> 00:24:59,230
Okay, listen.
567
00:24:59,230 --> 00:25:01,267
We need to find out more
about this cabin
568
00:25:01,267 --> 00:25:02,838
and Harry's money problems,
so I need you
569
00:25:02,838 --> 00:25:04,908
to find the realtor
that was handling the deal.
570
00:25:04,908 --> 00:25:06,912
And then we need to set up
an undercover recon mission.
571
00:25:06,912 --> 00:25:08,081
Do you copy?
572
00:25:08,081 --> 00:25:09,852
Okay, good.
573
00:25:09,852 --> 00:25:13,593
Deputy, it's time for a little
unofficial sheriff's business,
574
00:25:13,593 --> 00:25:16,197
so you might want
to get off this channel
575
00:25:16,197 --> 00:25:18,803
for just a couple minutes.
576
00:25:24,615 --> 00:25:29,057
‐ Candle equipment.
577
00:25:29,057 --> 00:25:33,165
‐ That's not a real IOU.
Your candles are garbage.
578
00:25:33,165 --> 00:25:34,668
‐ Well, five stars
on Etsy, Ellen.
579
00:25:34,668 --> 00:25:36,739
I think the general public
would disagree.
580
00:25:36,739 --> 00:25:39,545
‐ Yeah, I have one.
It's rotten bathrobe scent.
581
00:25:39,545 --> 00:25:40,980
‐ That's cardamom.
582
00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:42,818
‐ Don't you usually keep
your bets under a quarter?
583
00:25:42,818 --> 00:25:45,657
‐ Yes, I do, John, but
I need to make this commercial.
584
00:25:45,657 --> 00:25:49,732
And with these cards,
I cannot lose.
585
00:25:49,732 --> 00:25:53,071
‐ You lose.
‐ So do you.
586
00:25:53,071 --> 00:25:54,975
Thanks for your money.
587
00:25:54,975 --> 00:25:56,879
You can keep
your bathrobe candle.
588
00:25:56,879 --> 00:25:58,716
♪ ♪
589
00:25:58,716 --> 00:26:00,787
‐ How did that happen?
590
00:26:00,787 --> 00:26:03,058
No, I was supposed to win!
591
00:26:03,058 --> 00:26:04,962
‐ Oh, my God!
592
00:26:04,962 --> 00:26:06,999
♪ ♪
593
00:26:06,999 --> 00:26:08,936
‐ Should have kept that
in the museum, bro.
594
00:26:08,936 --> 00:26:11,876
‐ Your grandfather's table
is crap.
595
00:26:19,223 --> 00:26:21,929
Now, undercover work is all
about the backstory, right?
596
00:26:21,929 --> 00:26:24,333
So let's just take a minute
to get ours straight, okay?
597
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:26,605
Now, my name is
Justin Preacher, all right.
598
00:26:26,605 --> 00:26:29,143
You're my wife,
Mrs. Justin Preacher, okay.
599
00:26:29,143 --> 00:26:30,947
Now, I was a starting pitcher
for the Atlanta Braves
600
00:26:30,947 --> 00:26:33,185
until I tore my ACL
back in 2007,
601
00:26:33,185 --> 00:26:35,623
but I transitioned
right into sports broadcasting,
602
00:26:35,623 --> 00:26:37,961
was an overnight sensation
for an Atlanta affiliate,
603
00:26:37,961 --> 00:26:41,034
and we moved out here because
I just got a lucrative contract
604
00:26:41,034 --> 00:26:43,004
for a satellite
radio station nearby.
605
00:26:43,004 --> 00:26:45,710
I'm also a licensed pilot,
and I'm a horse rancher.
606
00:26:45,710 --> 00:26:49,350
‐ Huh, okay, quite a life.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
607
00:26:49,350 --> 00:26:51,087
‐ And me?
‐ Oh, you?
608
00:26:51,087 --> 00:26:53,024
You got the most important job
in the world.
609
00:26:53,024 --> 00:26:54,393
You a stay‐at‐home mom
610
00:26:54,393 --> 00:26:56,364
to our three kids
Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
611
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:57,901
Actually, you know what?
Scratch that.
612
00:26:57,901 --> 00:26:59,237
Now, I wasn't
gonna say nothing,
613
00:26:59,237 --> 00:27:00,740
but you looking
a little tired.
614
00:27:00,740 --> 00:27:02,978
Probably got like five kids.
615
00:27:02,978 --> 00:27:05,683
Ooh, this is nice.
616
00:27:05,683 --> 00:27:08,956
‐ Well, hello there.
I am Bonnie Shaw.
617
00:27:08,956 --> 00:27:10,760
I'm showing the house today.
‐ Hi.
618
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,998
‐ Justine Preacher.
How do you do?
619
00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:15,670
I'm a big‐time
sports broadcaster.
620
00:27:15,670 --> 00:27:18,208
This is my cute,
little husband Mr. Preacher.
621
00:27:18,208 --> 00:27:20,245
He stays at home
with our five kids.
622
00:27:20,245 --> 00:27:22,717
And that's why
he looks so tired.
623
00:27:22,717 --> 00:27:27,928
‐ Wow, let's take a look
at the kitchen first, Mr. Mom.
624
00:27:27,928 --> 00:27:30,432
It's every homemaker's dream.
Come on.
625
00:27:30,432 --> 00:27:32,838
‐ Yeah, well, I'm also
a licensed helicopter pilot,
626
00:27:32,838 --> 00:27:35,008
and I put out fires
with swimming pool water.
627
00:27:35,008 --> 00:27:38,048
‐ Well, you must be busy.
628
00:27:40,085 --> 00:27:42,156
‐ This is nice,
629
00:27:42,156 --> 00:27:46,164
but we were looking for
something a little more rustic.
630
00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:49,170
Do you know anything about that
red cabin off of Cove Road,
631
00:27:49,170 --> 00:27:50,840
over in Patience?
632
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,178
It's got a private beach.
We saw it online.
633
00:27:53,178 --> 00:27:55,917
‐ It's funny you should ask.
That's the Vanderspeigle cabin.
634
00:27:55,917 --> 00:27:57,888
I listed that myself
a couple years ago,
635
00:27:57,888 --> 00:27:59,892
and it's off
the market right now,
636
00:27:59,892 --> 00:28:03,398
but sometimes,
owners can be convinced.
637
00:28:03,398 --> 00:28:06,104
You know, honestly,
the doc who owns it,
638
00:28:06,104 --> 00:28:07,373
he might be a little bit
of work.
639
00:28:07,373 --> 00:28:08,943
He's a real mystery.
640
00:28:08,943 --> 00:28:09,978
‐ So you know him?
641
00:28:09,978 --> 00:28:11,314
‐ Oh, honey,
642
00:28:11,314 --> 00:28:14,855
knowing everything about
my clients is my business.
643
00:28:14,855 --> 00:28:16,024
‐ I like that.
644
00:28:16,024 --> 00:28:21,267
♪ ♪
645
00:28:23,338 --> 00:28:24,841
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.
646
00:28:24,841 --> 00:28:26,444
‐ How's it going?
647
00:28:26,444 --> 00:28:28,448
‐ It's all right.
I'm just waiting for my mom.
648
00:28:28,448 --> 00:28:32,223
She's shopping for towels.
649
00:28:32,223 --> 00:28:36,264
‐ Oh, cool, so what's new?
650
00:28:36,264 --> 00:28:38,970
‐ I got my driver's license.
‐ Whoa.
651
00:28:38,970 --> 00:28:41,341
‐ I can't really parallel park
for shit, but...
652
00:28:41,341 --> 00:28:42,811
‐ Me neither.
‐ Jay.
653
00:28:42,811 --> 00:28:46,384
Honey, why don't you
go start the car?
654
00:28:46,384 --> 00:28:49,123
You can drive us home.
‐ Cool.
655
00:28:49,123 --> 00:28:50,960
Later.
‐ Later.
656
00:28:53,098 --> 00:28:56,906
‐ I always wondered if I would
ever meet Jay's birth mother.
657
00:28:56,906 --> 00:29:01,749
I wanted to someday,
but reuniting a child
658
00:29:01,749 --> 00:29:04,487
with her birth parent
is up to the child.
659
00:29:04,487 --> 00:29:07,126
You know that, right?
660
00:29:07,126 --> 00:29:09,531
‐ Um...
661
00:29:09,531 --> 00:29:11,936
I'm sorry.
What I did was wrong.
662
00:29:11,936 --> 00:29:16,912
It's just there she was,
you know, like, at the clinic
663
00:29:16,912 --> 00:29:22,256
asking for work‐study,
and, well, I crossed a line.
664
00:29:22,256 --> 00:29:23,993
I just really wanted
to help her.
665
00:29:23,993 --> 00:29:26,799
‐ I will never stop Jay from
wanting to be in your life,
666
00:29:26,799 --> 00:29:30,907
but she has to be the one
to cross the street, not you.
667
00:29:30,907 --> 00:29:32,777
♪ ♪
668
00:29:32,777 --> 00:29:36,217
‐ I know.
669
00:29:36,217 --> 00:29:37,386
‐ Okay.
670
00:29:37,386 --> 00:29:44,534
♪ ♪
671
00:29:46,004 --> 00:29:47,373
‐ So six years ago,
he puts his cabin on the market
672
00:29:47,373 --> 00:29:48,876
'cause he needs the money.
673
00:29:48,876 --> 00:29:50,112
‐ Mm‐hmm.
674
00:29:50,112 --> 00:29:52,016
‐ Only to turn around and
pay the whole damn thing off
675
00:29:52,016 --> 00:29:53,485
in cash one week later?
676
00:29:53,485 --> 00:29:55,355
‐ Half a million in cash.
677
00:29:55,355 --> 00:29:58,328
‐ That's some shady shit
right there.
678
00:29:58,328 --> 00:30:01,034
‐ Do you think he's
a contract killer?
679
00:30:01,034 --> 00:30:02,469
‐ Now, that's a good guess.
680
00:30:02,469 --> 00:30:03,873
Man, ain't no honest man
681
00:30:03,873 --> 00:30:05,008
got that much liquid
just laying around.
682
00:30:05,008 --> 00:30:06,545
Hell, I only got 90K
in the bank,
683
00:30:06,545 --> 00:30:08,315
and that's just
for emergencies.
684
00:30:08,315 --> 00:30:10,285
‐ 90,000?
685
00:30:10,285 --> 00:30:14,026
That's‐‐seems like a lot.
686
00:30:14,026 --> 00:30:15,162
‐ Eh.
687
00:30:17,166 --> 00:30:18,836
‐ Is there a problem, Deputy?
688
00:30:18,836 --> 00:30:21,307
‐ Oh, it just needs
a new starter.
689
00:30:21,307 --> 00:30:23,178
My mechanic can
do it for parts,
690
00:30:23,178 --> 00:30:27,854
but I don't have the $65.
691
00:30:27,854 --> 00:30:30,258
‐ Oh.
692
00:30:30,258 --> 00:30:33,933
Well, you know, I was probably
rounding up to that 90 anyway.
693
00:30:33,933 --> 00:30:36,839
It's probably somewhere like,
I don't know, 85, 87.
694
00:30:36,839 --> 00:30:38,909
Just enough for a rainy day.
695
00:30:38,909 --> 00:30:40,278
‐ Mm‐hmm.
696
00:30:40,278 --> 00:30:44,086
‐ Okay, I'ma get out and push.
697
00:30:53,606 --> 00:30:55,042
I think it's cool
698
00:30:55,042 --> 00:30:57,212
you're gonna make
a commercial for Patience.
699
00:30:57,212 --> 00:31:00,018
‐ Yeah, maybe if I show
some pretty pictures
700
00:31:00,018 --> 00:31:02,256
of our town, people
will want to come visit.
701
00:31:02,256 --> 00:31:04,326
‐ They already do.
‐ Hm?
702
00:31:04,326 --> 00:31:06,230
‐ My friend Scott said
all his California cousins
703
00:31:06,230 --> 00:31:08,168
want to come here this summer
to see dead bodies.
704
00:31:08,168 --> 00:31:10,506
‐ What?
‐ Wait, or a murder.
705
00:31:10,506 --> 00:31:12,476
Hey, maybe I can play
a dead guy in your commercial.
706
00:31:12,476 --> 00:31:14,313
‐ No, no dead guys.
707
00:31:14,313 --> 00:31:18,321
Max, Patience is a beautiful
and safe‐‐very safe town.
708
00:31:18,321 --> 00:31:20,993
There are no dead bodies here.
709
00:31:20,993 --> 00:31:23,899
‐ And this is where
our town doctor
710
00:31:23,899 --> 00:31:26,270
was brutally murdered
by his wife.
711
00:31:26,270 --> 00:31:29,544
The doctor who replaced him
went missing,
712
00:31:29,544 --> 00:31:32,316
but we expect his body
to turn up any day now.
713
00:31:32,316 --> 00:31:34,487
Oh, don't forget to enter
the corpse raffle.
714
00:31:34,487 --> 00:31:38,428
‐ What the hell is this?
‐ Look, everyone.
715
00:31:38,428 --> 00:31:41,267
It's our town mayor,
Ben Hawthorne.
716
00:31:41,267 --> 00:31:44,240
Great‐great‐grandson
of Dickie Hawthorne
717
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:47,379
who died the day
the mine collapsed,
718
00:31:47,379 --> 00:31:50,318
but not with his fellow miners.
719
00:31:50,318 --> 00:31:53,391
No, Dickie called in sick
that day.
720
00:31:53,391 --> 00:31:55,663
His wife found him
in the whorehouse
721
00:31:55,663 --> 00:31:58,268
and shot him in the face.
722
00:31:58,268 --> 00:32:00,973
‐ I'm related to him.
‐ No, just an old rumor, buddy.
723
00:32:00,973 --> 00:32:02,677
Old rumor, not true.
724
00:32:02,677 --> 00:32:05,182
‐ We're walking.
Come on.
725
00:32:05,182 --> 00:32:07,152
Take your pictures
if you'd like.
726
00:32:07,152 --> 00:32:08,622
♪ ♪
727
00:32:10,425 --> 00:32:12,296
‐ Come on.
Let's get a move on, Deputy.
728
00:32:12,296 --> 00:32:15,469
‐ Sir, you're not gonna believe
who just returned my call.
729
00:32:15,469 --> 00:32:19,276
St. Helens Hospital said Dr.
Vanderspeigle was disciplined
730
00:32:19,276 --> 00:32:22,216
after they found him in a lab
he wasn't authorized to be in.
731
00:32:22,216 --> 00:32:23,686
And do you know
what they kept stored there?
732
00:32:23,686 --> 00:32:25,222
‐ What?
‐ Botulinum toxin.
733
00:32:25,222 --> 00:32:27,660
‐ Are you shitting me?
Damn.
734
00:32:27,660 --> 00:32:30,600
We might have put
the wrong person behind bars.
735
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,704
‐ Looks like it's time
to talk to Dr. Vanderspeigle.
736
00:32:32,704 --> 00:32:34,273
‐ Yeah.
737
00:32:34,273 --> 00:32:35,610
‐ But first, I have to drop off
this dry cleaning.
738
00:32:35,610 --> 00:32:37,045
‐ What?
739
00:32:37,045 --> 00:32:38,582
Justice doesn't wait
for no dry cleaning.
740
00:32:38,582 --> 00:32:40,553
‐ It's half‐price Tuesdays.
741
00:32:40,553 --> 00:32:42,089
‐ This is some shit here.
742
00:32:42,089 --> 00:32:43,726
‐ People, stay together.
We have a lot to see.
743
00:32:43,726 --> 00:32:45,195
‐ Oh, my God.
744
00:32:45,195 --> 00:32:48,301
‐ Oh, another
special treat today.
745
00:32:48,301 --> 00:32:51,307
Here we have
the Patience sheriff
746
00:32:51,307 --> 00:32:57,186
who single‐handedly put
the wife of Sam Hodges in jail.
747
00:32:57,186 --> 00:33:00,258
Rumor has it she's close
to death in her prison cell,
748
00:33:00,258 --> 00:33:05,168
rats waiting to feast
on her killer corpse.
749
00:33:05,168 --> 00:33:07,740
We're walking.
Bye, handsome.
750
00:33:07,740 --> 00:33:13,519
♪ ♪
751
00:33:15,455 --> 00:33:19,631
♪ ♪
752
00:33:21,802 --> 00:33:23,572
‐ You're listening to 102.6,
753
00:33:23,572 --> 00:33:25,342
and we have a special listener
request on the line.
754
00:33:25,342 --> 00:33:27,379
What do you want us to play?
755
00:33:27,379 --> 00:33:29,618
‐ Hey, I'd like you to play
The Breeders' "Off You"
756
00:33:29,618 --> 00:33:31,487
for my best friend Asta,
757
00:33:31,487 --> 00:33:33,592
and tell her, if she needs me,
I'll always come running.
758
00:33:33,592 --> 00:33:38,301
‐ Wait, I know this voice.
D'arcy?
759
00:33:38,301 --> 00:33:39,403
D'arcy?
760
00:33:39,403 --> 00:33:42,309
No, this Sasha.
Hello, yes.
761
00:33:42,309 --> 00:33:44,714
‐ Yeah, D'arcy.
We dated for five months.
762
00:33:44,714 --> 00:33:47,554
I think I know your voice,
and the night we broke up
763
00:33:47,554 --> 00:33:49,524
you stole six bottles
of wine out of my fridge.
764
00:33:49,524 --> 00:33:51,795
‐ I don't have
no stealing wine.
765
00:33:51,795 --> 00:33:54,701
Only vodka, so okay.
Play song for best friend.
766
00:33:54,701 --> 00:33:56,170
‐ Jesus.
‐ And then go.
767
00:33:56,170 --> 00:33:58,642
‐ Fine.
Here's The Breeders I guess.
768
00:34:01,648 --> 00:34:08,762
♪ ♪
769
00:34:09,330 --> 00:34:14,708
‐ ♪ I land to sail,
island sail ♪
770
00:34:14,708 --> 00:34:18,414
♪ ♪
771
00:34:18,414 --> 00:34:20,720
♪ Yeah, we're movin' ♪
772
00:34:20,720 --> 00:34:23,391
♪ ♪
773
00:34:23,391 --> 00:34:26,798
♪ Yeah, we're movin' ♪
774
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:34,113
♪ ♪
775
00:34:38,589 --> 00:34:40,559
‐ Harry?
776
00:34:40,559 --> 00:34:45,836
♪ ♪
777
00:34:45,836 --> 00:34:48,474
Hello?
778
00:34:48,474 --> 00:34:50,746
What's the big surprise?
779
00:34:50,746 --> 00:34:53,786
♪ ♪
780
00:35:04,306 --> 00:35:06,110
Harry?
781
00:35:09,116 --> 00:35:12,590
♪ ♪
782
00:35:12,590 --> 00:35:14,561
Harry?
783
00:35:14,561 --> 00:35:16,497
♪ ♪
784
00:35:16,497 --> 00:35:19,436
Harry?
785
00:35:19,436 --> 00:35:26,417
♪ ♪
786
00:35:29,624 --> 00:35:31,360
What the hell is this?
787
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:36,738
‐ My survival shelter
and your new home.
788
00:35:38,709 --> 00:35:40,746
You can choose the rugs.
789
00:35:40,746 --> 00:35:42,215
♪ ♪
790
00:35:48,796 --> 00:35:50,332
‐ Why do you have
a fallout shelterunder your house?
791
00:35:50,332 --> 00:35:55,308
‐ I built it for us,
so that we can be safe
792
00:35:55,308 --> 00:35:58,381
when my people come
to kill everyone.
793
00:35:58,381 --> 00:35:59,851
‐ What?
794
00:35:59,851 --> 00:36:01,922
‐ Oh, I forgot to tell you.
795
00:36:01,922 --> 00:36:04,694
My people are coming
to kill everyone.
796
00:36:04,694 --> 00:36:06,330
‐ When?
797
00:36:06,330 --> 00:36:10,171
‐ Octopus thinks it may be
a matter of weeks.
798
00:36:10,171 --> 00:36:11,608
Whoops.
799
00:36:11,608 --> 00:36:13,512
‐ Hello again, stupid human.
800
00:36:13,512 --> 00:36:15,549
‐ God, I hate when you do that.
801
00:36:15,549 --> 00:36:18,789
‐ The bathroom
will be over here
802
00:36:18,789 --> 00:36:23,632
if they come before
I get a real toilet,
803
00:36:23,632 --> 00:36:25,803
we can use this bucket.
804
00:36:25,803 --> 00:36:27,940
It is unisex.
805
00:36:27,940 --> 00:36:32,583
Oh, and I am getting a cow
if I can figure out
806
00:36:32,583 --> 00:36:34,821
how to get it
through the opening.
807
00:36:34,821 --> 00:36:37,693
‐ You're joking, right?
‐ You are right.
808
00:36:37,693 --> 00:36:39,798
The opening is too small.
809
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,970
I may get a baby cow
and raise it.
810
00:36:42,970 --> 00:36:45,976
‐ Harry, this is not okay.
811
00:36:45,976 --> 00:36:47,714
This was all supposed
to be over with.
812
00:36:47,714 --> 00:36:49,551
Why are your people coming?
813
00:36:49,551 --> 00:36:53,424
‐ They are‐‐how did you put it?
814
00:36:53,424 --> 00:36:58,267
‐ Oh, it was "eager
to fry all you Earth pigs."
815
00:36:58,267 --> 00:36:59,938
‐ That.
816
00:36:59,938 --> 00:37:02,442
‐ I can't do this.
No, no, no.
817
00:37:02,442 --> 00:37:05,716
You expect me to live
underground with you for weeks?
818
00:37:05,716 --> 00:37:09,389
‐ Oh, no.
It will be at least a year.
819
00:37:09,389 --> 00:37:13,397
I know that you like
the out‐of‐doors.
820
00:37:13,397 --> 00:37:15,335
I painted you a window.
821
00:37:15,335 --> 00:37:18,675
You can enjoy
the beautiful Colorado scenery.
822
00:37:18,675 --> 00:37:22,482
♪ ♪
823
00:37:22,482 --> 00:37:25,623
Feel the breeze.
824
00:37:25,623 --> 00:37:27,727
Those are dead people.
825
00:37:27,727 --> 00:37:29,931
That is the stupid boy.
826
00:37:29,931 --> 00:37:35,475
You cannot see his frown
because my brush was too thick.
827
00:37:35,475 --> 00:37:37,713
‐ Nope, this isn't happening.
I'm not doing it.
828
00:37:37,713 --> 00:37:39,551
I'm not living in a hole
in the ground with you
829
00:37:39,551 --> 00:37:41,320
and that octo‐thing.
830
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:42,289
‐ Oh, wait.
831
00:37:42,289 --> 00:37:43,491
‐ Well, that's fine with me.
832
00:37:43,491 --> 00:37:44,761
You think I want
to spend the next year
833
00:37:44,761 --> 00:37:46,363
watching you shit in a bucket?
834
00:37:46,363 --> 00:37:47,667
‐ Shh‐shh!
835
00:37:47,667 --> 00:37:50,004
‐ Huh.
836
00:37:50,004 --> 00:37:52,810
‐ Don't go.
It will be fun.
837
00:37:52,810 --> 00:37:56,350
Octopus knows
so many cuttlefish jokes.
838
00:37:56,350 --> 00:37:57,720
They are so stuck up.
839
00:37:57,720 --> 00:37:59,691
‐ You're not
taking me seriously.
840
00:37:59,691 --> 00:38:01,561
‐ Pizza.
841
00:38:02,362 --> 00:38:04,901
‐ You have to do something
about this,
842
00:38:04,901 --> 00:38:08,040
and hiding us underground
for a year isn't it.
843
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,713
You're an alien.
You know, phone home.
844
00:38:10,713 --> 00:38:13,384
Call them,
and tell them not to come.
845
00:38:13,384 --> 00:38:16,725
‐ Did I tell you that we are
going to have all 20 seasons
846
00:38:16,725 --> 00:38:18,729
of "Law & Order" to watch?
847
00:38:18,729 --> 00:38:20,599
‐ Oh, God.
848
00:38:20,599 --> 00:38:24,039
I would rather die than be
on this planet with just you.
849
00:38:24,039 --> 00:38:26,978
‐ Rude.
‐ You don't get it.
850
00:38:26,978 --> 00:38:29,517
So what, I'm just supposed to
come out after the apocalypse,
851
00:38:29,517 --> 00:38:30,920
and everyone I know is dead?
852
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,725
I'm here all alone?
853
00:38:33,725 --> 00:38:35,629
‐ Also rude.
854
00:38:35,629 --> 00:38:40,438
‐ I'm talking about my family.
What about Dad and D'arcy?
855
00:38:40,438 --> 00:38:41,942
What about Jay?
856
00:38:41,942 --> 00:38:44,413
God, no.
Don't you understand?
857
00:38:44,413 --> 00:38:46,918
I can't live here if I have
to live without all of them.
858
00:38:46,918 --> 00:38:48,856
So there you go, call them,
859
00:38:48,856 --> 00:38:51,427
and tell them not to come,
or I will just die.
860
00:38:51,427 --> 00:38:54,701
‐ I know what this is.
861
00:38:54,701 --> 00:38:58,341
You are bluffing,
like in poker.
862
00:38:58,341 --> 00:39:00,411
♪ ♪
863
00:39:00,411 --> 00:39:02,617
‐ No, I'm not!
864
00:39:02,617 --> 00:39:04,888
I would rather stand under
your stupid planet's death ray
865
00:39:04,888 --> 00:39:06,457
and explode
into a million pieces
866
00:39:06,457 --> 00:39:09,564
than spend one second
in that hole with you.
867
00:39:09,564 --> 00:39:11,000
‐ She is good at bluffing.
868
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,104
I could possibly contact them,
869
00:39:13,104 --> 00:39:15,943
but I want to kill
all the bags of douches.
870
00:39:15,943 --> 00:39:18,381
It is my turn to bluff.
871
00:39:18,381 --> 00:39:19,951
♪ ♪
872
00:39:19,951 --> 00:39:23,725
It's impossible.
I cannot contact them.
873
00:39:23,725 --> 00:39:25,428
‐ Now you're bluffing.
874
00:39:25,428 --> 00:39:26,898
‐ I am bad at bluffing.
875
00:39:26,898 --> 00:39:31,541
‐ Okay, okay.
I'll call your bluff.
876
00:39:31,541 --> 00:39:33,979
♪ ♪
877
00:39:33,979 --> 00:39:37,452
If you don't mind
that I die, good.
878
00:39:37,452 --> 00:39:41,393
‐ What are you doing?
‐ I think I'll take a bath.
879
00:39:41,393 --> 00:39:44,032
♪ ♪
880
00:39:44,032 --> 00:39:48,742
‐ You are not really going
to electrocute yourself.
881
00:39:48,742 --> 00:39:52,850
♪ ♪
882
00:39:52,850 --> 00:39:56,423
‐ I've got the toaster
all plugged in.
883
00:39:56,423 --> 00:39:58,895
Whoo, nice and warm.
Really good way to go out.
884
00:39:58,895 --> 00:40:00,498
Call it off, Harry.
885
00:40:00,498 --> 00:40:02,904
‐ I told you I cannot.
886
00:40:02,904 --> 00:40:06,645
I do not like this game.
The stakes are too high.
887
00:40:06,645 --> 00:40:09,584
You are not really
in the bathtub.
888
00:40:09,584 --> 00:40:10,853
If the toaster is plugged in,
889
00:40:10,853 --> 00:40:12,623
it is because
you are making toast.
890
00:40:12,623 --> 00:40:13,892
Asta.
891
00:40:13,892 --> 00:40:15,729
♪ ♪
892
00:40:15,729 --> 00:40:18,167
You didn't bring the bread.
893
00:40:18,167 --> 00:40:21,641
♪ ♪
894
00:40:21,641 --> 00:40:23,879
This is very dangerous.
895
00:40:23,879 --> 00:40:26,483
‐ Then agree
to call your people.
896
00:40:26,483 --> 00:40:28,689
‐ Okay.
897
00:40:28,689 --> 00:40:34,934
♪ ♪
898
00:40:34,934 --> 00:40:37,540
It went straight to voicemail.
899
00:40:37,540 --> 00:40:39,476
♪ ♪
900
00:40:39,476 --> 00:40:41,615
‐ Goodbye, Harry.
901
00:40:41,615 --> 00:40:47,760
♪ ♪
902
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:48,962
See?
903
00:40:48,962 --> 00:40:50,766
I knew you didn't
want me to die.
904
00:40:50,766 --> 00:40:52,469
You just took your damn time
showing it.
905
00:40:52,469 --> 00:40:55,108
‐ Of course I do not
want you to die.
906
00:40:56,076 --> 00:40:59,550
I will try to build a radio
to contact my people.
907
00:41:01,153 --> 00:41:03,925
Be careful getting
out of the tub.
908
00:41:03,925 --> 00:41:05,696
Don't slip.
909
00:41:05,696 --> 00:41:08,134
‐ Coming from you, that's
a very sweet thing to say.
910
00:41:10,038 --> 00:41:12,777
‐ I'm going
to go eat pizza now.
911
00:41:20,659 --> 00:41:23,164
♪ ♪
912
00:41:25,903 --> 00:41:27,740
‐ I'm just gonna keep knocking.
913
00:41:27,740 --> 00:41:29,711
I got hands
that can knock all day.
914
00:41:31,514 --> 00:41:33,117
Dr. V., open up.
915
00:41:33,117 --> 00:41:35,522
We know you're in there.
We need to speak with you.
916
00:41:35,522 --> 00:41:37,593
Don't make us come back
with a search warrant.
917
00:41:37,593 --> 00:41:40,532
♪ ♪
918
00:41:40,532 --> 00:41:42,102
Hello, Asta, need to speak
919
00:41:42,102 --> 00:41:44,106
with Dr. Vanderspeigle
about that severed foot.
920
00:41:44,106 --> 00:41:45,576
‐ He's not here.
921
00:41:45,576 --> 00:41:47,546
‐ Look, don't lie to me.
922
00:41:47,546 --> 00:41:50,586
We saw him eating pizza through
the window when we rolled up.
923
00:41:50,586 --> 00:41:52,122
‐ I'm not lying.
924
00:41:52,122 --> 00:41:54,192
‐ Asta, I'm telling you
this as a friend.
925
00:41:54,192 --> 00:41:55,896
Harry is not
who you think he is.
926
00:41:55,896 --> 00:41:58,267
He could be dangerous.
Please don't protect him.
927
00:41:58,267 --> 00:42:00,873
‐ Uh...
928
00:42:00,873 --> 00:42:03,010
Maybe come back later?
929
00:42:03,010 --> 00:42:04,747
‐ Look, if I have to arrest you
930
00:42:04,747 --> 00:42:06,283
for obstruction
of justice, I will.
931
00:42:06,283 --> 00:42:09,657
Talking about some
"come back later."
932
00:42:09,657 --> 00:42:12,963
Shit!
What the hell is this?
933
00:42:12,963 --> 00:42:14,767
Hold on.
934
00:42:14,767 --> 00:42:21,815
♪ ♪
935
00:42:24,921 --> 00:42:28,027
Oh, my goodness.
Well, I'll be.
936
00:42:28,027 --> 00:42:32,035
Deputy, what's that say
right there?
937
00:42:32,035 --> 00:42:34,607
Botulinum toxin.
The murder weapon.
938
00:42:34,607 --> 00:42:36,143
‐ Oh, no.
939
00:42:36,143 --> 00:42:38,247
‐ All right, look,
I'ma ask you one more time.
940
00:42:38,247 --> 00:42:41,921
Where is he, Asta?
Where is he, Asta?
941
00:42:41,921 --> 00:42:44,025
♪ ♪
942
00:42:44,025 --> 00:42:46,196
‐ He went
to hide in the cellar.
943
00:42:46,196 --> 00:42:48,200
♪ ♪
944
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:50,171
‐ You wait here.
945
00:42:50,171 --> 00:42:52,977
Dr. V.?
946
00:42:52,977 --> 00:42:55,248
Sheriff's department.
We coming down into the cellar.
947
00:42:55,248 --> 00:42:56,918
I want you to put your hands
above your head.
948
00:42:56,918 --> 00:42:59,857
You hear me?
We're coming down here!
949
00:42:59,857 --> 00:43:01,193
♪ ♪
950
00:43:01,193 --> 00:43:04,700
Dr. Vanderspeigle,
where you at?
951
00:43:04,700 --> 00:43:06,805
‐ Whoa.
What's with the guns?
952
00:43:06,805 --> 00:43:09,309
♪ ♪
953
00:43:09,309 --> 00:43:10,979
‐ Asta?
954
00:43:10,979 --> 00:43:13,350
‐ What in holy hell?
955
00:43:13,350 --> 00:43:20,331
♪ ♪
956
00:43:49,724 --> 00:43:56,838
♪ ♪
69141
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