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1
00:00:30,991 --> 00:00:35,786
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:00:40,512 --> 00:00:42,911
Let go!
3
00:00:45,569 --> 00:00:49,056
- Oh, my...
- God! No!
4
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,256
- Now, get up!
- No!
5
00:00:52,767 --> 00:00:56,928
No.
6
00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:59,169
Please! No, please! No, no!
7
00:01:17,631 --> 00:01:21,663
- You're not finished.
- No. No, please.
8
00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:26,463
There are no pleases here.
We had a deal. Remember?
9
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,368
I dictated the terms,
you named your price,
10
00:01:30,497 --> 00:01:33,600
and then you willingly
committed murder.
11
00:01:35,871 --> 00:01:37,855
While this has provided me
a brief reprieve
12
00:01:38,048 --> 00:01:40,128
on an otherwise banal Tuesday,
13
00:01:40,256 --> 00:01:43,296
you still
have one final obligation.
14
00:01:44,801 --> 00:01:47,169
Also, something tells me
those crocodile tears
15
00:01:47,295 --> 00:01:48,800
are going to dry
right up the second
16
00:01:48,928 --> 00:01:51,199
you walk out of here
and start spending.
17
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,240
I mean, for people like you,
that's a given.
18
00:01:55,264 --> 00:01:57,824
Now, come on, you can do it.
19
00:02:39,456 --> 00:02:41,087
Put it where it belongs.
20
00:03:05,664 --> 00:03:09,216
On the ground.
21
00:03:10,304 --> 00:03:13,312
Now, see,
that was not so hard, was it?
22
00:03:27,648 --> 00:03:29,087
Clean her up,
give her the money,
23
00:03:29,215 --> 00:03:32,384
and get her
the fuck outta here. Jesus.
24
00:05:16,096 --> 00:05:17,376
Kasper Nordin.
25
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,168
Welcome
to Furcas's House of Fun.
26
00:05:19,296 --> 00:05:21,024
Please get dressed
and make your way
27
00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:24,064
to the common room
for some food and refreshments.
28
00:05:24,319 --> 00:05:25,568
Hope you have fun!
29
00:05:26,239 --> 00:05:28,224
Big news, Kaz.
30
00:05:28,576 --> 00:05:31,424
I got something very interesting
in the pipe for you.
31
00:05:31,713 --> 00:05:32,960
It's a new reality series
32
00:05:33,088 --> 00:05:34,336
- called...
- You gotta be kidding me!
33
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:38,336
And hang on.
You win, you get five million.
34
00:05:41,824 --> 00:05:44,351
I just wanna move on, okay?
35
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,712
Mainstream.
No more of this reality shit.
36
00:05:58,976 --> 00:06:00,767
Look, Kaz,
it's not like producers
37
00:06:00,896 --> 00:06:01,920
are kicking down
my door for you.
38
00:06:02,048 --> 00:06:03,200
These guys asked
for you by name.
39
00:06:03,392 --> 00:06:04,961
- Why? Because of Darla?
- Who cares?
40
00:06:05,088 --> 00:06:07,648
You and Darla did a show
together. People know your face.
41
00:06:07,776 --> 00:06:09,216
People hate my face.
42
00:06:09,343 --> 00:06:10,560
That show was the stupidest
thing I ever did.
43
00:06:10,688 --> 00:06:12,704
That's 'cause it was about her.
44
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,512
This time it's about you.
It's redemption time.
45
00:06:18,784 --> 00:06:21,536
I think it sounds
pretty sketchy to me.
46
00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:13,920
Hello, mate.
What's the craic with you?
47
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:16,479
Hey. What happened?
48
00:07:16,992 --> 00:07:18,848
How come everyone says that
when they come out here?
49
00:07:19,008 --> 00:07:21,024
What kind of show is this?
They drugged us.
50
00:07:21,248 --> 00:07:23,328
Woke up me fucking skivvies,
some voice on high saying,
51
00:07:23,456 --> 00:07:24,832
"Get changed
and proceed to the common room."
52
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:26,528
These people are getting so sued
believe you me.
53
00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:28,320
You've never been
drugged before?
54
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,848
Yeah, but of my own volition,
and at my own discretion,
55
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,192
and not in this outfit.
56
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:33,568
What have they done
with me clothes?
57
00:07:33,759 --> 00:07:35,776
They choose our clothes,
that was in the contract.
58
00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,376
Well,
at least give me some variety.
59
00:07:37,536 --> 00:07:38,687
Spice of fucking life.
60
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,280
Not the same
ten quim-pink shirts every day.
61
00:07:41,888 --> 00:07:44,319
- Slainte!
- Wh... where are we?
62
00:07:44,447 --> 00:07:46,048
Welcome
to Furcas's House of Fun.
63
00:07:46,176 --> 00:07:48,736
Hello? Anyone in charge?
64
00:07:48,896 --> 00:07:51,616
I'm pretty sure kidnapping
is illegal, yeah?
65
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,496
He's tried this
three times already.
66
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,184
- Yo, mate, nobody's coming.
- Get fucked.
67
00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,936
What the fuck
did you just say to me?
68
00:08:00,928 --> 00:08:02,336
I didn't know.
69
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,984
I said, "What the fuck
did you just say to me?"
70
00:08:06,176 --> 00:08:08,352
Sorry, mate, I am, uh,
clinically claustrophobic.
71
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:11,264
Might even suffer from a smidgen
of the ole Tourette's, yeah?
72
00:08:12,512 --> 00:08:13,728
I'm just fucking with you.
73
00:08:13,855 --> 00:08:15,648
I'm just fucking with you.
74
00:08:16,544 --> 00:08:18,688
Irish sense of humor.
Fucking legendary.
75
00:08:19,456 --> 00:08:21,216
- Is there a phone?
- No phones.
76
00:08:21,408 --> 00:08:23,200
Took our mobiles as well.
So, you can kiss
77
00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:25,408
that social media hot streak
goodbye.
78
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,656
It's all in the contract.
79
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,064
What's the last thing
you remember?
80
00:08:28,192 --> 00:08:29,567
Getting in the limo
after the airport
81
00:08:29,696 --> 00:08:30,976
and then...
...lights out.
82
00:08:31,135 --> 00:08:33,632
- Woke up here.
- Yeah. Ditto.
83
00:08:33,792 --> 00:08:35,232
And you lot are all right
with all this?
84
00:08:35,392 --> 00:08:36,736
Wow, you've never
been knocked out before?
85
00:08:36,928 --> 00:08:39,808
- You'll be fine, man.
- Fucking mental.
86
00:08:40,544 --> 00:08:42,592
For five million quid,
I'm all right with it, mate.
87
00:08:43,584 --> 00:08:45,887
- Do you want a drink?
- Uh, yeah.
88
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,816
I know you.
Yeah, you're that guy.
89
00:08:50,943 --> 00:08:53,696
- Kasper, Kasper, Kasper, uh...
- Nordin.
90
00:08:53,888 --> 00:08:56,768
Kasper Nordin. You were married
to that girl, um...
91
00:08:57,055 --> 00:08:59,136
- Darla Drake.
- Darla fucking Drake.
92
00:08:59,264 --> 00:09:00,800
You guys had that show.
93
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:02,752
Back up Love.
94
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,192
Back up fucking Love!
95
00:09:04,416 --> 00:09:07,136
Oh, you lucky son of a bitch,
yeah. Beautiful girl,
96
00:09:07,263 --> 00:09:08,384
great voice, nice set of...
97
00:09:08,544 --> 00:09:10,432
Fucking...
Look, I'm real sorry, man,
98
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,512
but that song,
"Put Your Heart on the Line,"
99
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,824
oh, that was a solid
100
00:09:13,952 --> 00:09:15,168
fucking tune, man!
101
00:09:15,295 --> 00:09:16,511
Solid fucking tune!
102
00:09:17,377 --> 00:09:18,240
Yeah.
103
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,257
This place ain't bad.
104
00:09:20,384 --> 00:09:21,536
But it's weird.
105
00:09:21,696 --> 00:09:22,848
A hot tub filled with milk.
106
00:09:23,008 --> 00:09:25,440
Amigos, good news.
We found a hot tub.
107
00:09:25,728 --> 00:09:28,864
Yeah. And it's filled with milk.
It's fucking weird.
108
00:09:29,087 --> 00:09:30,272
It's not milk, stupid.
109
00:09:30,496 --> 00:09:33,216
I told you nyuuyoku-zai.
It's Japanese.
110
00:09:33,472 --> 00:09:35,392
Okay, okay, relax, sister.
Breathe.
111
00:09:35,649 --> 00:09:39,840
It's called yukobukake shit.
Who cares?
112
00:09:40,832 --> 00:09:42,496
Who's the big bird?
113
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,959
Oh, shit, it's Kasper Nordin.
114
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,367
It's Kasper Nordin, man.
115
00:09:46,784 --> 00:09:49,025
- No way? Never heard of him.
- I'll give you a hint.
116
00:09:49,216 --> 00:09:52,127
♪ Don't waste my time
Or you'll never be mine ♪
117
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,208
♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
118
00:09:54,432 --> 00:09:56,864
♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
119
00:09:58,016 --> 00:09:59,232
- Nah.
- He's fucking
120
00:09:59,585 --> 00:10:03,232
- Darla Drake's ex-husband, man!
- Oh, yeah! Good for you.
121
00:10:03,551 --> 00:10:04,704
Yeah. Can we move on?
122
00:10:04,928 --> 00:10:07,296
Can I get my drink, please?
Scotch.
123
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,576
Hi, everyone.
124
00:10:09,504 --> 00:10:11,264
Ula La More.
125
00:10:13,216 --> 00:10:15,679
- Ximena.
- Ula.
126
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,488
- Hi, I'm Ula.
- What's up?
127
00:10:20,223 --> 00:10:24,128
- Hi. Ula.
- Ooh-la-la, yes, you are.
128
00:10:24,545 --> 00:10:26,624
- I'm Dex.
- Hi, Dex.
129
00:10:27,776 --> 00:10:28,992
Hi. I'm Ula.
130
00:10:29,215 --> 00:10:31,424
I know. I, uh,
follow you on the Insta.
131
00:10:31,552 --> 00:10:32,864
Cool.
132
00:10:39,775 --> 00:10:42,303
Can someone tell me
where the producers are, please?
133
00:10:42,432 --> 00:10:44,223
I take it you don't like
being drugged either?
134
00:10:44,512 --> 00:10:46,720
I scoured the entire flat.
Couldn't find a camera,
135
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:47,936
a director,
not even a bloody PA.
136
00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,720
- Can't get outside neither.
- This is not good.
137
00:10:51,008 --> 00:10:54,431
Hi, I'm Nevin.
I'm claustrophobic, clinically.
138
00:10:54,624 --> 00:10:57,153
- No shit?
- "El Shocker"?
139
00:10:57,311 --> 00:10:59,808
Yeah. This guy knows what's up.
140
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:02,049
Put her there, Daddy!
141
00:11:02,176 --> 00:11:04,960
I thought you was dead.
142
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,096
Yeah.
143
00:11:10,561 --> 00:11:12,864
Welcome
to Furcas's House of Fun.
144
00:11:13,056 --> 00:11:15,680
Now, broadcasting live
to the entire world.
145
00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:18,464
Streaming 24/7,
seven days a week,
146
00:11:18,592 --> 00:11:20,640
with no commercial
interruptions.
147
00:11:20,863 --> 00:11:22,879
High stakes, high drama...
148
00:11:23,009 --> 00:11:24,352
...anything goes.
149
00:11:24,608 --> 00:11:26,304
It's the ultimate
in online-reality-fun,
150
00:11:26,528 --> 00:11:28,480
where you, the global audience
151
00:11:28,608 --> 00:11:30,432
must decide who is sent
packing,
152
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,601
and who takes home
the five million-dollar
153
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,784
grand prize.
154
00:11:35,489 --> 00:11:38,687
So, without further ado,
let's meet our contestants.
155
00:11:38,816 --> 00:11:40,224
Ula La More!
156
00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:42,144
Yeah, boy!
157
00:11:42,336 --> 00:11:43,487
Dropped from heaven
158
00:11:43,999 --> 00:11:45,696
straight to Warsaw, Poland...
159
00:11:45,823 --> 00:11:47,520
...Miss La More now resides
in the City of Angels
160
00:11:47,648 --> 00:11:48,929
- where she boasts more than...
- Woo-hoo!
161
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:50,815
...eight million
Instagram followers
162
00:11:50,945 --> 00:11:52,991
and spends her days
working out,
163
00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,976
hanging out, and going out.
164
00:11:55,136 --> 00:11:56,960
- Yo, is that...
- Ula La More.
165
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:58,784
What is this?
166
00:11:59,007 --> 00:12:00,800
It's that, um, Funhouse thing.
It's a show.
167
00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:02,239
...And yolo-ing the hell
168
00:12:02,369 --> 00:12:04,511
out of the Funhouse
for all to see!
169
00:12:05,216 --> 00:12:08,129
- James Headstone Malone.
- Oh, motherfucker...
170
00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:09,600
He's a mixed martial artist,
171
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:11,680
hailing out of
Dundalk, Ireland.
172
00:12:12,384 --> 00:12:13,600
After crushing skulls
173
00:12:13,824 --> 00:12:15,840
on the hit reality series,
The Warriors Way,
174
00:12:16,031 --> 00:12:19,232
the Irish prince of pain
took a run at MMA gold...
175
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:20,609
I'm the fucking future!
176
00:12:20,736 --> 00:12:22,208
...but unfortunately,
fell short.
177
00:12:22,368 --> 00:12:25,183
Retired since 2016,
Headstone still enjoys
178
00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:27,008
hitting the gym,
hitting the bar,
179
00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:28,511
and hitting other people.
180
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:30,240
Hey, man...
181
00:12:30,431 --> 00:12:33,504
Cat Zim.
The Filipino killer from Manila
182
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,456
was a star
on the short-lived series,
183
00:12:35,583 --> 00:12:37,216
The Real Wiccans of Westchester,
184
00:12:37,663 --> 00:12:39,552
but now, only dabbles
in the dark arts
185
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,144
as a solo performance artist.
186
00:12:42,272 --> 00:12:43,616
This quiet queen of cute
187
00:12:43,745 --> 00:12:45,312
also holds the honor...
188
00:12:45,536 --> 00:12:48,800
...of being the youngest female
chess grand master in history.
189
00:12:49,248 --> 00:12:53,727
The man simply known as Dex.
After making a splash
190
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,487
on the hit
reality show spin-off,
191
00:12:55,616 --> 00:12:56,959
Santiago Shore,
192
00:12:57,089 --> 00:12:59,231
this Chilean troubadour
joined the rap game
193
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,576
where he dropped the hit
194
00:13:00,768 --> 00:13:03,040
of the one-wonder variety,
"El Shocker."
195
00:13:03,167 --> 00:13:05,503
♪ This ends right here
And it's called El Shocker ♪
196
00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:08,320
- ♪ El Shocker, El Shocker... ♪
- That never gets old.
197
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:13,440
Lonni Byrne. The
lonely lass of Boston, Mass.
198
00:13:13,696 --> 00:13:14,912
I'm the bride-to-be.
199
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,832
The season 18
bride-to-be
200
00:13:17,056 --> 00:13:20,064
is notorious for dumping
27 men,
201
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:23,583
only to be left at the altar
twice during the final rose,
202
00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,311
a Bride to Be first.
203
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:28,769
I think you're incredible,
but... I'm sorry.
204
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:30,240
I'm sorry.
205
00:13:32,352 --> 00:13:33,887
This titillating temptress
206
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,609
is known not only
for her rare beauty, but also
207
00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:39,456
her extracurricular antics,
which have landed her
208
00:13:39,615 --> 00:13:40,896
in the hot seat
209
00:13:41,216 --> 00:13:42,495
on more than one occasion.
210
00:13:42,624 --> 00:13:43,872
- Hey...
- This one
211
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,560
can definitely hold her own
with the boys, and then some.
212
00:13:47,009 --> 00:13:48,480
Nevin Eversmith.
213
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:49,760
What's up, YouTube?
It's your boy,
214
00:13:49,889 --> 00:13:51,327
Nevin Eversmith coming
at you again.
215
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,151
This British baculum of bombast
216
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,624
is a YouTube sensation
217
00:13:54,753 --> 00:13:57,536
whose ironic claim to fame
is talking
218
00:13:57,665 --> 00:13:59,904
about and rating viral videos,
219
00:14:00,032 --> 00:14:02,560
chalking up more than ten
million subscribers
220
00:14:02,687 --> 00:14:03,872
in the process.
221
00:14:04,224 --> 00:14:07,551
Not to mention, making
a few viral videos of his own.
222
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:12,320
Fucking hell...
223
00:14:12,447 --> 00:14:15,104
- Ximena Torres.
- What's up, guys?
224
00:14:15,231 --> 00:14:16,640
Just over the border in Tijuana
225
00:14:16,769 --> 00:14:19,071
is where this lethal Latina
resides.
226
00:14:19,232 --> 00:14:21,216
She's Mexico's number one
blogger
227
00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:22,784
on all things pop culture,
228
00:14:22,944 --> 00:14:24,671
and has proven time and again
229
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,416
that social media hazing truly
is mightier than the sword.
230
00:14:28,544 --> 00:14:31,265
Watch your back, amigos,
'cause I'm always watching.
231
00:14:31,616 --> 00:14:34,400
- What are you watching?
- I'm watching a program.
232
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:36,224
- Funhouse.
- Funhouse?
233
00:14:36,351 --> 00:14:37,311
Celebutants, take heed
234
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,135
and keep your nose clean,
235
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:41,696
otherwise, she's got you
in her sights.
236
00:14:41,984 --> 00:14:43,935
Careers have been made
and destroyed
237
00:14:44,064 --> 00:14:45,536
by the stroke of her key.
238
00:14:45,855 --> 00:14:48,000
Hi, Kasper. Poor thing.
239
00:14:48,223 --> 00:14:49,920
Just ask our last contestant.
240
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,184
Last and possibly least,
just kidding,
241
00:14:53,313 --> 00:14:55,872
is Stockholm,
Sweden's favorite orphan,
242
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,249
Kasper Nordin.
243
00:14:57,696 --> 00:15:00,160
This crooning Casanova
struck pay dirt
244
00:15:00,287 --> 00:15:01,824
when he landed
a job singing backup
245
00:15:01,953 --> 00:15:04,224
for pop's hottest princess,
Darla Drake.
246
00:15:04,416 --> 00:15:09,216
- ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
- ♪ Put your heart on the line ♪
247
00:15:09,665 --> 00:15:11,904
Darla fell hard
for the Swedish chansonnier
248
00:15:12,257 --> 00:15:15,072
and as fast as you could say,
"Put your heart on the line,"
249
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,560
the two lovebirds were married
and had their own reality show,
250
00:15:18,847 --> 00:15:22,913
Darla and Kasper, Back up Love.
After the inevitable split,
251
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,247
Kasper had a very brief
solo career
252
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:27,776
and is now trying his hand
at acting.
253
00:15:27,905 --> 00:15:28,800
Freeze, buster!
254
00:15:29,184 --> 00:15:30,497
It's not worth it.
255
00:15:30,816 --> 00:15:34,016
It so is!
256
00:15:38,177 --> 00:15:39,137
City life.
257
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:44,064
We can't wait to see
258
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,969
what he has in store
for us next. Hope you have fun.
259
00:15:48,416 --> 00:15:51,584
- Whoo!
- That's fucking deadly, man.
260
00:15:51,873 --> 00:15:53,024
Um, okay,
261
00:15:53,151 --> 00:15:57,056
um... I'm sorry.
It's kind of my job.
262
00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,553
- This is a nightmare.
- Savage.
263
00:16:01,248 --> 00:16:03,360
Hello, everyone. I'm Furcas,
and I'll be your guide
264
00:16:03,489 --> 00:16:05,504
during your stay
at my House of Fun.
265
00:16:05,823 --> 00:16:07,169
Unfortunately,
when this is over,
266
00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:09,311
only one of you will be with us
to collect
267
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,231
the five million-dollar prize.
268
00:16:11,713 --> 00:16:14,753
So, do your best to make
sure that person is you.
269
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,600
Every three days,
your loyal viewing audience
270
00:16:17,729 --> 00:16:20,223
will vote to see who stays
and who goes.
271
00:16:20,609 --> 00:16:22,560
The housemate
who receives the least votes
272
00:16:22,689 --> 00:16:24,353
must face
a skill testing challenge.
273
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,016
- But if the vote count...
- Yeah. Whoo!
274
00:16:26,144 --> 00:16:27,647
...is within one percentage
point,
275
00:16:27,936 --> 00:16:30,783
the lowest two will compete
to see who survives.
276
00:16:30,977 --> 00:16:32,064
Any questions?
277
00:16:32,928 --> 00:16:36,064
- Ximena, you look puzzled.
- Yeah. You're not a recording?
278
00:16:36,191 --> 00:16:39,744
No, I'm Furcas, your guide
through the Funhouse.
279
00:16:39,969 --> 00:16:41,407
Any other questions?
280
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,799
- Yes, Nevin?
- Uh, oh, yeah, Furcas, is it?
281
00:16:44,991 --> 00:16:46,815
Yeah, you gave us
a Cosby Cocktail.
282
00:16:46,944 --> 00:16:48,831
- What's that all about?
- That was agreed upon
283
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,815
in your contract. Section 32 C.
284
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:51,807
I fucking told you.
285
00:16:52,001 --> 00:16:53,216
Yeah. We're not allowed outside.
286
00:16:53,376 --> 00:16:55,329
I'm claustrophobic, you know,
clinically.
287
00:16:55,455 --> 00:16:56,768
So I've heard.
288
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,817
The contract
clearly dictated the terms.
289
00:16:58,944 --> 00:17:01,440
You're confined to the interior
of the house.
290
00:17:01,664 --> 00:17:04,095
If you leave at any time,
you'll be disqualified
291
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,520
and your one 100,000-dollar
entry gift will be revoked.
292
00:17:07,744 --> 00:17:09,344
You'll be monitored
in every room
293
00:17:09,473 --> 00:17:11,136
of the house at all times.
294
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,599
Okay. What about the cameras?
Are they in the bathroom?
295
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:16,032
The cameras are hidden
throughout the house.
296
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,048
And while using
the bathroom or shower,
297
00:17:18,176 --> 00:17:20,129
your image will be blurred
to the viewing public.
298
00:17:20,351 --> 00:17:23,583
However, if you so choose,
this blurring feature
299
00:17:23,712 --> 00:17:26,079
can be removed
by you at any time.
300
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,247
Once a day,
for at least five minutes,
301
00:17:29,377 --> 00:17:30,911
you must enter
the confession booth
302
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,337
and speak to our viewers
about anything you want.
303
00:17:34,496 --> 00:17:35,744
Other than that,
304
00:17:36,063 --> 00:17:37,536
you can do as you wish
for as long as you're here.
305
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:39,903
Fuck me, mate!
Don't be creeping like that.
306
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,888
Occasionally,
you'll see helpers
307
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,777
such as this
throughout the house.
308
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,560
They're here to clean,
restock food and drink,
309
00:17:46,721 --> 00:17:48,384
and guide you
through challenges.
310
00:17:48,608 --> 00:17:50,175
You can speak to them
if you wish,
311
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:53,184
but they will not answer.
They are here only to help.
312
00:17:53,984 --> 00:17:56,704
Then if there are no further
questions, good luck,
313
00:17:56,831 --> 00:17:59,839
and enjoy your stay
at Furcas's House of Fun.
314
00:18:03,424 --> 00:18:06,559
Okay. Is it just me
or is there all kinds of wrong
315
00:18:06,687 --> 00:18:07,615
with everything here?
316
00:18:07,744 --> 00:18:09,439
Right. Who wants a drink?
317
00:18:10,335 --> 00:18:11,424
Two for me.
318
00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:14,049
- Yes.
- Make it double.
319
00:18:14,657 --> 00:18:17,247
So, we're just supposed
to talk then?
320
00:18:17,376 --> 00:18:19,488
Into there?
321
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:25,887
♪ No, nobody gonna tell us how
Or take us down, whoa..." ♪
322
00:18:27,041 --> 00:18:28,384
Well, look who showed up.
323
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:30,720
♪ ...Yeah, here we go... ♪
324
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:33,471
- Headstone here.
- Hi, it's me, Ula.
325
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,744
♪ El Shocker, El Shocker ♪
326
00:18:35,873 --> 00:18:38,111
What's up?
It's your girl Ximena Torres,
327
00:18:38,239 --> 00:18:40,320
coming at you live
from the Funhouse.
328
00:18:42,849 --> 00:18:45,312
♪ ...We're gonna
have some fun ♪
329
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,649
♪ Let's all get
A little bit higher... ♪
330
00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:49,121
You're dead sweetheart.
Here we go.
331
00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:52,864
Uh, if my agent's watching,
what the actual fuck, Gary?
332
00:18:52,992 --> 00:18:54,431
You know
I'm clinically claustrophobic!
333
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,712
Yeah, you could have told me
334
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,471
we'd be packed in here
like a bunch of lab rats.
335
00:18:57,824 --> 00:18:59,936
♪ ...Fire dancer... ♪
336
00:19:00,159 --> 00:19:05,119
♪ Fire dancer
Show me your crown... ♪
337
00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:06,207
Okay, shut up!
338
00:19:06,432 --> 00:19:07,999
♪ ...Show me your crown... ♪
339
00:19:08,127 --> 00:19:09,633
I bet you didn't read
the contract, Gary, did ya?
340
00:19:09,759 --> 00:19:11,616
Your one job, mate.
You sit behind your desk,
341
00:19:11,744 --> 00:19:12,895
you read contracts.
342
00:19:13,088 --> 00:19:14,272
It's like they knew
I was claustrophobic
343
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,615
and they used it against me.
344
00:19:15,775 --> 00:19:17,824
Hang on. I'm... I'm in here.
345
00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:21,279
Actually, it reminds me
of a knock-knock joke.
346
00:19:21,504 --> 00:19:22,561
Knock-knock.
347
00:19:24,415 --> 00:19:25,664
Uh, little old lady...
348
00:19:27,936 --> 00:19:29,441
Didn't... didn't know
you could yodel.
349
00:19:29,632 --> 00:19:30,720
Come on, Kaz.
350
00:19:30,849 --> 00:19:32,384
Stakes are too high
for that, man.
351
00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:35,360
I'm a lot better
at telling jokes in Swedish.
352
00:19:35,679 --> 00:19:37,791
Wait, how the hell am I supposed
to update social media
353
00:19:37,921 --> 00:19:39,744
if I'm trapped in here
without a phone, Gary?
354
00:19:39,872 --> 00:19:40,992
Who the fuck is Gary?
355
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,591
You know what? Hashtag
#FuckGary.
356
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,479
Let's get that ball rolling,
yeah?
357
00:19:45,249 --> 00:19:46,335
No "El Shocker"?
358
00:19:49,504 --> 00:19:51,969
Oh, no, no, sweetie.
359
00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:56,352
♪ ...Come for you... ♪
360
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:58,400
Everybody in the house seems...
361
00:19:59,679 --> 00:20:02,529
nice, but with that many
dysfunctional people...
362
00:20:02,687 --> 00:20:03,744
To new friends!
363
00:20:04,064 --> 00:20:05,057
...get ready.
364
00:20:05,344 --> 00:20:06,591
Drama, she's coming.
365
00:20:06,848 --> 00:20:08,640
How do you even do that?
366
00:20:08,768 --> 00:20:11,040
No. Come on!
367
00:20:13,151 --> 00:20:14,848
What's up, guys?
368
00:20:14,976 --> 00:20:17,472
- Don't forget, vote for Ximena.
- Kisses.
369
00:20:17,664 --> 00:20:19,200
Right.
Maybe a half an hour in heaven
370
00:20:19,328 --> 00:20:21,568
before the Devil knows
your dead. Vote Headstone.
371
00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:22,624
Vote Lonni.
372
00:20:22,944 --> 00:20:25,888
Vote Dex, yo.
373
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,256
Vote Ula La More.
You won't regret it.
374
00:20:28,416 --> 00:20:29,535
See you tomorrow.
375
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:30,944
In the future,
I'm reading the contracts,
376
00:20:31,072 --> 00:20:33,279
that much I can tell you.
Uh, vote Nevin.
377
00:20:33,505 --> 00:20:34,721
I'll probably talk
378
00:20:34,848 --> 00:20:36,159
about something
more interesting next time.
379
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:37,472
Vote Cat.
380
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:41,504
Sorry about the joke.
Um, vote for me, anyway.
381
00:20:42,176 --> 00:20:45,152
- Show me that. Yes.
- Why?
382
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,896
- The dude's Swedish.
- And?
383
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,816
Hey, everybody. I'm Pete Sake,
384
00:20:50,944 --> 00:20:52,896
bringing you the best
of the worst to the web.
385
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:55,776
Up first, the new reality
show abomination
386
00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:58,431
everyone's talking about,
Furcas's House of Fun,
387
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,287
featuring
eight former celebrities,
388
00:21:00,512 --> 00:21:02,592
aka fame whores,
competing to see
389
00:21:02,752 --> 00:21:04,448
who can be the most
cringeworthy,
390
00:21:04,576 --> 00:21:07,552
all the while facing off
for five million dollars.
391
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,664
Something tells me this crew
is gonna make anyone
392
00:21:09,791 --> 00:21:13,024
who actually ate a Tide Pod
feel like a Rhodes scholar.
393
00:21:13,568 --> 00:21:14,655
Should be fun.
394
00:21:16,768 --> 00:21:17,824
So, you're from Boston, huh?
395
00:21:18,368 --> 00:21:21,216
I'm from Grand Rapids,
Michigan, originally.
396
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:23,327
Went to Boston U
for four years, though.
397
00:21:23,872 --> 00:21:24,768
What did you take?
398
00:21:25,247 --> 00:21:29,216
I am the proud owner of a degree
in Elizabethan literature.
399
00:21:29,408 --> 00:21:31,361
Oh, wow. That's cool.
400
00:21:31,871 --> 00:21:33,855
Cool if you want
a Shakespeare quote.
401
00:21:34,304 --> 00:21:37,216
Not so cool if you want a job
that pays actual money.
402
00:21:37,568 --> 00:21:40,032
Seems to be a lot
of that going around here.
403
00:21:41,696 --> 00:21:44,193
So you are the bride-to-be.
404
00:21:44,351 --> 00:21:46,176
That's my claim to fame.
405
00:21:46,464 --> 00:21:48,800
Or, rather, infamy.
406
00:21:49,568 --> 00:21:51,680
Yeah, well, I can relate.
407
00:21:58,144 --> 00:22:01,760
I thought
I heard voices out here.
408
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:04,961
My kind of people, huh?
Night owls. I'll bartend.
409
00:22:05,344 --> 00:22:08,128
Well, I'm more of a rooster
these days,
410
00:22:08,288 --> 00:22:10,271
so, you two have at it.
411
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,248
Oh, no. Ugh, no.
412
00:22:15,071 --> 00:22:17,408
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kasper,
where the hell are you going?
413
00:22:17,632 --> 00:22:20,576
- Oi, it's time for a drink.
- I think I'm also
414
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,496
a little bit more of a rooster
myself.
415
00:22:23,456 --> 00:22:26,208
Roosters? No, no, fuck roosters.
All right? Fuck 'em.
416
00:22:26,464 --> 00:22:27,519
Night owls fly down
417
00:22:27,648 --> 00:22:29,568
with their claws
and kill roosters.
418
00:22:30,176 --> 00:22:31,808
And then eat them.
419
00:22:32,832 --> 00:22:34,335
Well, when you put like that.
420
00:22:37,696 --> 00:22:39,168
Ooh.
421
00:22:39,328 --> 00:22:41,280
Thank you.
422
00:22:48,224 --> 00:22:49,088
Cheers.
423
00:22:50,304 --> 00:22:52,992
The bold will die,
as will the strong.
424
00:22:53,568 --> 00:22:55,552
As legends, we go on.
425
00:22:56,351 --> 00:22:58,624
- Wait. What... what was that?
- What?
426
00:22:59,392 --> 00:23:01,408
- What did you say?
- What?
427
00:23:01,888 --> 00:23:03,039
What are you talking about?
428
00:23:03,168 --> 00:23:04,704
It was a toast
my father used to say.
429
00:23:06,304 --> 00:23:07,712
My father was a hard man.
430
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,944
But he made me
the man I am today...
431
00:23:12,256 --> 00:23:14,400
by beating the ever-living shite
out of me
432
00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:16,032
every day he was alive.
433
00:23:21,088 --> 00:23:23,872
Anyway...
...repeat after me.
434
00:23:24,448 --> 00:23:26,432
- The bold will die.
- The bold will die.
435
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,256
- As will the strong.
- As will the strong.
436
00:23:28,384 --> 00:23:31,360
- As legends we go on.
- As legends we go on.
437
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:33,056
- Slainte.
- Skoal.
438
00:23:48,256 --> 00:23:49,824
Are you a friendly ghost,
Casper?
439
00:23:50,656 --> 00:23:52,384
Actually,
it's Kasper with a K.
440
00:23:52,704 --> 00:23:55,328
We didn't really
have that cartoon in Sweden.
441
00:23:56,608 --> 00:23:59,392
We had The Moomins, though.
You should check that out.
442
00:24:00,096 --> 00:24:02,784
So, why do they call you
Headstone?
443
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:10,944
Because I put
people into the earth.
444
00:24:12,064 --> 00:24:13,536
Lay them to rest, so to speak.
445
00:24:14,688 --> 00:24:15,648
Fair enough.
446
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,016
And because it rhymes
with Malone.
447
00:24:19,488 --> 00:24:20,384
It does.
448
00:24:21,952 --> 00:24:23,776
Also,
I have an extremely hard head.
449
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:26,144
Okay.
450
00:24:26,687 --> 00:24:30,527
So, it's a... a triple entendre
when you think about it, right?
451
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:32,736
I... I got it.
452
00:24:36,128 --> 00:24:38,528
- Right. Slainte!
- Skoal!
453
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:39,904
What?
454
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,496
- Just drink.
- Fair enough.
455
00:24:49,216 --> 00:24:51,712
They don't have any
fucking beer around here.
456
00:24:55,743 --> 00:24:58,400
And that's why you always
get a Fluffer, okay?
457
00:24:58,528 --> 00:25:00,576
I will make a note of that.
Yeah.
458
00:25:00,704 --> 00:25:03,552
Hey, my man,
you know what happened
459
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,568
in the fútbol match
Colo-Colo y La U?
460
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:10,689
Hey. Do you speak Spanish?
Fútbol, you know?
461
00:25:11,103 --> 00:25:13,664
Oh, I got it, I got it.
It's soccer, isn't it?
462
00:25:13,856 --> 00:25:14,943
You know about soccer?
463
00:25:15,072 --> 00:25:16,417
Why do some people
call it soccer
464
00:25:16,544 --> 00:25:17,471
and some football?
465
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,872
Never understood that.
466
00:25:20,064 --> 00:25:24,097
Hello, everyone.
467
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,144
Furcas, how are you doing, mate?
468
00:25:26,368 --> 00:25:29,536
Congratulations on making it
through the first three days
469
00:25:29,664 --> 00:25:31,007
in the Funhouse.
470
00:25:31,232 --> 00:25:33,920
I see friendships were made,
some more than others.
471
00:25:34,048 --> 00:25:35,488
There were some tense moments,
472
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:38,240
but all in all, it looked
like everyone's had fun,
473
00:25:38,432 --> 00:25:40,064
and that's the name
of the game.
474
00:25:40,511 --> 00:25:42,880
But now, the votes are in,
and, unfortunately,
475
00:25:43,008 --> 00:25:45,440
for one of you,
it's time to say goodbye.
476
00:25:45,696 --> 00:25:48,384
So, without further ado,
let's find out who.
477
00:25:48,864 --> 00:25:50,463
Let's go.
478
00:25:56,032 --> 00:25:57,024
Come on. Come on.
479
00:25:57,152 --> 00:25:59,680
Yeah! Go, Dex! Go, Dex! Go, Dex!
480
00:26:00,096 --> 00:26:01,344
Well, there we have it.
481
00:26:01,472 --> 00:26:02,880
You fucking won.
482
00:26:03,551 --> 00:26:05,760
Three percent.
What in the actual fuck?
483
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,616
Ula taking an early lead.
484
00:26:07,776 --> 00:26:10,336
Looks like turning off
the blur feature in the shower
485
00:26:10,496 --> 00:26:11,680
really helped your cause.
486
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,367
Cat with a strong second,
followed by Dex,
487
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,568
Headstone, Kasper,
and Ximena, a tight race.
488
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,424
Then we have Lonni and Nevin.
489
00:26:19,745 --> 00:26:22,240
But because your votes
are within one percent,
490
00:26:22,368 --> 00:26:24,192
you'll both have to undergo
a challenge
491
00:26:24,319 --> 00:26:26,272
to see who makes it
to the next round.
492
00:26:26,465 --> 00:26:29,215
So, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
493
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,424
Piñata Party!
494
00:26:32,832 --> 00:26:33,952
What?
495
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:35,680
- Yo, that's racist.
- A little.
496
00:26:35,839 --> 00:26:38,111
Lonni, Nevin,
please follow the helper
497
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,127
- to your first challenge.
- Well...
498
00:26:40,287 --> 00:26:42,080
...let's get this over with.
499
00:26:45,024 --> 00:26:46,432
Bye-bye.
500
00:26:51,361 --> 00:26:52,800
It's because I'm a Limey,
isn't that it?
501
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,720
Yeah, colonialism,
that's what it is.
502
00:26:54,848 --> 00:26:56,512
All right,
you bamboo-munching Muppet,
503
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,200
lets' go. I'll let this happen,
but this is bullshit.
504
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:01,184
Yeah, number one bullshit.
505
00:27:02,496 --> 00:27:03,936
It ain't 'cause he's British.
506
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,785
It's because he bitches
all the time.
507
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,288
People don't like whiny shit.
508
00:27:09,248 --> 00:27:11,904
But you know what people
do like is T&A.
509
00:27:12,128 --> 00:27:13,569
- Yeah, boy.
- Excuse me?
510
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,489
Oh, nothing. I'm just saying.
511
00:27:16,032 --> 00:27:18,273
Well, I'm just saying,
show them if you got them.
512
00:27:18,464 --> 00:27:19,776
Oh, yes, girl, I got them.
513
00:27:20,161 --> 00:27:22,015
And everything you see
is a 100 percent real.
514
00:27:22,367 --> 00:27:23,552
People voted for me
515
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,056
because I'm a nice person.
516
00:27:25,247 --> 00:27:28,287
- I'm likeable, bitch.
- Ooh.
517
00:27:28,448 --> 00:27:30,207
No, babe,
they voted for you
518
00:27:30,336 --> 00:27:32,736
because you showered naked
in front of millions of people.
519
00:27:33,343 --> 00:27:35,807
But whatever,
that's real classy, ho.
520
00:27:36,481 --> 00:27:37,920
Oh, whoa, whoa.
521
00:27:39,872 --> 00:27:41,632
- I like you still a lot.
- I know.
522
00:27:42,016 --> 00:27:45,504
For the rest of you lucky few,
to the Witness Room you go.
523
00:27:46,656 --> 00:27:48,287
- Come on.
- Here we go.
524
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:50,719
Let's fucking go.
525
00:27:50,849 --> 00:27:51,744
I'll take that with me.
526
00:28:16,639 --> 00:28:19,071
They must have ran out of cash
for this part of the house, huh?
527
00:28:19,296 --> 00:28:21,536
In procession, man.
528
00:28:26,751 --> 00:28:28,704
Nice decor.
529
00:28:34,113 --> 00:28:35,264
Oh, shit.
530
00:28:36,543 --> 00:28:38,719
Fucking move there.
531
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,639
Holy moly.
532
00:28:40,929 --> 00:28:42,080
What they got in there?
533
00:28:42,368 --> 00:28:44,127
Listen, what is this house?
I can't see shit.
534
00:28:44,512 --> 00:28:46,143
What is this? Is it like
a peep show or something?
535
00:28:46,272 --> 00:28:47,425
Oh, shit.
536
00:28:47,553 --> 00:28:48,960
Too bad Ula's on the wrong side.
537
00:28:49,088 --> 00:28:51,551
- Ooh!
- Funny, bitch.
538
00:28:57,632 --> 00:28:58,848
- El Shocker!
- One...
539
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:02,816
- Get it, girl.
- Come on, Lonni.
540
00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:10,625
- Team Lonni.
- Whoo!
541
00:29:10,751 --> 00:29:12,160
Yeah, you go, girl.
542
00:29:17,249 --> 00:29:20,863
Hello, Lonni, are you ready
for your first challenge?
543
00:29:21,056 --> 00:29:24,351
- Let's do this.
- This is going to be fun.
544
00:29:26,175 --> 00:29:27,936
That should be Ximena's
challenge.
545
00:29:28,095 --> 00:29:29,247
I'm sure she's a pro.
546
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,104
I wouldn't be talking
about pros, babe.
547
00:29:31,423 --> 00:29:32,640
Just 'cause you're not
on a corner
548
00:29:32,769 --> 00:29:33,824
doesn't mean you're not selling.
549
00:29:35,489 --> 00:29:37,087
Oh, don't worry about that.
Don't worry about that.
550
00:29:37,248 --> 00:29:39,007
The challenge is quite simple.
551
00:29:39,136 --> 00:29:42,880
You must break open the piñata
and retrieve what's inside.
552
00:29:43,136 --> 00:29:47,040
Then using an identical piñata,
Nevin will do the same.
553
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:51,071
Whoever's fastest, wins.
Good luck to you.
554
00:29:52,736 --> 00:29:55,263
- This is fine. It's fine.
- Easy one.
555
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,984
- Go, Lonni.
- Give her the bat.
556
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,744
They didn't even give her
the bat.
557
00:29:59,871 --> 00:30:01,056
The piñata's going away.
558
00:30:05,567 --> 00:30:07,520
Very funny, guys.
559
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,792
- What the fuck?
- Wow!
560
00:30:10,527 --> 00:30:11,809
Is that Nevin?
561
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,144
He's got a fucking gag
in his mouth.
562
00:30:18,144 --> 00:30:19,649
What the fuck?
563
00:30:20,192 --> 00:30:21,633
- This is a joke.
- Well, what if...
564
00:30:29,056 --> 00:30:30,495
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
565
00:30:30,656 --> 00:30:32,800
- No, for real. Lonni.
- Lonni, stop!
566
00:30:35,712 --> 00:30:37,056
- Lonni!
- It's fake.
567
00:30:37,215 --> 00:30:39,583
You guys are so gullible, man.
Relax.
568
00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:44,191
- No!
- Fuck.
569
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:45,473
- What the fuck?
- Lonni!
570
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,080
Stop!
571
00:30:51,551 --> 00:30:52,896
No, stop!
572
00:30:53,696 --> 00:30:55,008
Dammit!
573
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,407
Hey!
574
00:30:58,080 --> 00:30:58,976
Stop it, man!
575
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,560
- Turn that off! Turn that...
- No. No, no, no.
576
00:31:02,688 --> 00:31:04,160
- Yeah, no.
- That's crazy.
577
00:31:04,287 --> 00:31:05,472
Relax.
Like, it's not even real.
578
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,263
No! Lonni!
579
00:31:11,967 --> 00:31:13,152
Well done, Lonni.
580
00:31:13,344 --> 00:31:15,647
You can take off
your goggles now.
581
00:31:24,672 --> 00:31:27,296
This is fucked.
582
00:31:27,999 --> 00:31:29,440
Oh, my God!
583
00:31:40,193 --> 00:31:41,600
This isn't happening.
584
00:31:41,727 --> 00:31:43,391
Where's he going?
585
00:31:43,647 --> 00:31:45,120
- Fuck.
- Come on!
586
00:31:45,311 --> 00:31:46,720
Wasn't that fun?
587
00:31:48,447 --> 00:31:50,657
What the fuck is going on here?
588
00:31:51,071 --> 00:31:52,191
Isn't it obvious?
589
00:31:52,416 --> 00:31:54,111
Who are you?
What is this place?
590
00:31:55,584 --> 00:31:57,313
What the fuck are you?
591
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:00,704
The question is not what am I?
592
00:32:01,087 --> 00:32:03,233
But it's what are you?
All of you?
593
00:32:03,360 --> 00:32:04,544
I wanna go home.
594
00:32:04,736 --> 00:32:07,711
Now, see, Ula,
this is your home now,
595
00:32:07,904 --> 00:32:09,888
except only one of you
will ever leave.
596
00:32:10,049 --> 00:32:13,024
- Ximena, come on!
- Why are you doing this?
597
00:32:13,151 --> 00:32:15,167
All will be revealed
in due time.
598
00:32:15,456 --> 00:32:17,729
But until then you will
continue to live in the house,
599
00:32:17,856 --> 00:32:20,864
until another vote is tallied
and another challenge is met.
600
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,904
If you refuse to participate,
if you try to escape,
601
00:32:24,127 --> 00:32:26,144
if you do not comply
in any way,
602
00:32:26,304 --> 00:32:28,479
a fate far worse
than Nevin's awaits,
603
00:32:28,607 --> 00:32:29,504
I assure you.
604
00:32:29,631 --> 00:32:31,136
The horror and the pain
605
00:32:31,296 --> 00:32:34,176
will be unlike anything
you could possibly imagine.
606
00:32:34,464 --> 00:32:36,033
So, you must complete
your obligation
607
00:32:36,159 --> 00:32:40,031
and finish what you've started.
So, put on a happy face!
608
00:32:40,544 --> 00:32:42,175
Get the audience on your side!
609
00:32:42,497 --> 00:32:44,223
Win their hearts,
and more importantly,
610
00:32:44,352 --> 00:32:46,847
their votes, for your fate
is in their hands.
611
00:32:47,201 --> 00:32:50,369
Now, would you all please
kindly adjourn to the Funhouse?
612
00:32:50,624 --> 00:32:53,088
Have yourselves a drink.
You've earned it.
613
00:32:53,664 --> 00:32:55,968
Especially you, Lonni.
614
00:32:57,471 --> 00:32:59,487
Up next, Furcas's House of Fun,
615
00:32:59,648 --> 00:33:02,207
or what is now simply beingcalled Funhouse,
616
00:33:02,335 --> 00:33:03,776
turned into a nightmare
last night,
617
00:33:03,969 --> 00:33:06,624
when famed YouTube diva,
Nevin Eversmith
618
00:33:06,753 --> 00:33:08,064
was beaten to death
619
00:33:08,191 --> 00:33:10,944
by season 18 bride-to-be,
Lonni Byrne.
620
00:33:11,136 --> 00:33:13,088
Personally,
the only nightmare I see here,
621
00:33:13,217 --> 00:33:15,233
is that people are actually
eating up this shit
622
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,600
and asking for seconds.
I mean, sure,
623
00:33:17,727 --> 00:33:19,904
I've wanted to use Nevin
as a human piñata,
624
00:33:20,033 --> 00:33:21,504
and beat him
with a spiked baseball bat,
625
00:33:21,631 --> 00:33:22,848
but who hasn't?
626
00:33:23,009 --> 00:33:24,224
And unfortunately,
I'd go to jail.
627
00:33:24,351 --> 00:33:26,240
Sorry, Funhouse, not buying it.
628
00:33:29,184 --> 00:33:31,104
I accept thee
as my Lord and Savior...
629
00:33:32,095 --> 00:33:34,719
assured of thy mercy
as long as I may live.
630
00:33:35,168 --> 00:33:37,664
Oh, Holy God.
Oh, Holy Death, Holy.
631
00:33:37,887 --> 00:33:40,897
So, what're we gonna do, huh?
Let's get the fuck out.
632
00:33:41,024 --> 00:33:42,977
This is online.
The cops had to see that.
633
00:33:43,104 --> 00:33:44,960
Do you see
any cameras here, huh?
634
00:33:45,088 --> 00:33:46,239
Slowdown. Just relax.
635
00:33:46,527 --> 00:33:49,184
Relax? Did you see
what just fucking happened?
636
00:33:49,311 --> 00:33:51,391
- She murdered Nevin, man!
- Shut up!
637
00:33:51,744 --> 00:33:53,664
Nobody murdered anybody!
She didn't even fucking know.
638
00:33:53,793 --> 00:33:56,288
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
Let's go.
639
00:33:58,144 --> 00:34:00,704
Hey. Hey.
There's a way out of here.
640
00:34:01,057 --> 00:34:02,400
I can see the fucking sky.
641
00:34:02,529 --> 00:34:04,735
Are you deaf, you fucker, huh?
642
00:34:04,864 --> 00:34:06,176
Did you not hear what he said?
643
00:34:06,399 --> 00:34:09,056
We break the window, we climb,
and we fucking run.
644
00:34:09,888 --> 00:34:11,136
This ain't no plexiglass,
trust me.
645
00:34:11,295 --> 00:34:12,737
Just chill. We've gotta think.
646
00:34:12,864 --> 00:34:15,104
Hey! You stay if you want.
I'm out.
647
00:34:15,584 --> 00:34:17,441
Maybe he's right.
It looks like a way out.
648
00:34:17,696 --> 00:34:18,944
We can't just sit here.
649
00:34:19,167 --> 00:34:21,281
- He's watching us.
- Oh, yeah? Let's find out.
650
00:34:21,408 --> 00:34:23,360
- No!
- Hey, you fucking, fuck...
651
00:34:25,952 --> 00:34:28,032
- Watch this, you fuckers!
- No!
652
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,240
It's a projection.
653
00:34:42,464 --> 00:34:43,680
No, shit.
654
00:34:44,192 --> 00:34:47,328
- What is this place?
- This place is your home.
655
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,184
And I was very clear
on what would happen
656
00:34:49,344 --> 00:34:50,815
if you tried to leave.
657
00:34:51,041 --> 00:34:53,664
Unfortunately, Dex has now
forfeited his spot in the house
658
00:34:53,792 --> 00:34:57,056
and will no longer be eligible
for the five million dollars.
659
00:34:57,407 --> 00:34:58,561
Oh, no.
660
00:35:00,864 --> 00:35:02,271
Dex, kindly
661
00:35:02,401 --> 00:35:03,713
- follow them, please.
- What are you gonna do?
662
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,728
You gonna shoot me, huh? Huh?
663
00:35:07,104 --> 00:35:10,751
No, please.
664
00:35:10,944 --> 00:35:12,192
Fuck!
665
00:35:13,056 --> 00:35:17,567
Dex! Dex!
666
00:35:29,441 --> 00:35:33,377
Please... help me!
667
00:35:34,975 --> 00:35:39,041
Mother of God, please. Please.
668
00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:42,527
My God, what's happening?
669
00:35:46,624 --> 00:35:48,704
- Please!
- What is that shit?
670
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,481
That shit
is fluoroantimonic acid.
671
00:35:52,864 --> 00:35:54,656
It's an inorganic compound
created
672
00:35:54,784 --> 00:35:58,464
by reacting hydrogen fluoride
with antimonic pentafluoride.
673
00:35:58,783 --> 00:36:01,217
According to the Hammett
acidity function,
674
00:36:01,376 --> 00:36:03,936
it's the most corrosive
substance on earth.
675
00:36:04,097 --> 00:36:06,240
When mixed with water,
the chemical reaction
676
00:36:06,369 --> 00:36:09,153
will dissolve flesh and bone
within minutes.
677
00:36:09,664 --> 00:36:12,800
- Have fun with that, Dex!
- Wait!
678
00:36:13,632 --> 00:36:16,127
- They're not doing that.
- Oh.
679
00:36:21,759 --> 00:36:23,711
Oh, my God!
680
00:36:36,287 --> 00:36:37,697
A horrific spectacle
681
00:36:37,824 --> 00:36:39,392
has been unfolding
on the internet this week,
682
00:36:39,521 --> 00:36:41,280
broadcasting live to the world.
683
00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:42,911
Authorities have yet to comment
684
00:36:43,039 --> 00:36:44,576
on the video's authenticity.
685
00:36:44,736 --> 00:36:46,400
What started
as an online reality series
686
00:36:46,528 --> 00:36:48,064
is now a nightmare for a group.
687
00:36:48,192 --> 00:36:50,304
What appears
to be a macabre contest,
688
00:36:50,433 --> 00:36:52,768
eight celebrities compete
to survive...
689
00:36:52,896 --> 00:36:55,104
And what we know so far,
is that the eight contestants
690
00:36:55,233 --> 00:36:57,407
flew into Los Angeles
four days ago,
691
00:36:57,536 --> 00:36:58,752
and then vanished.
692
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,632
Whether a sadistic game
or an elaborate hoax,
693
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,256
the show's popularity
continues to skyrocket
694
00:37:04,416 --> 00:37:06,943
even after two people
have allegedly been murdered.
695
00:37:07,136 --> 00:37:09,696
Authorities are currently
trying to locate the source
696
00:37:09,823 --> 00:37:12,896
of what has now been confirmed
to be a live video feed
697
00:37:13,056 --> 00:37:14,464
from inside the house.
698
00:37:20,096 --> 00:37:21,439
Just kill him already!
699
00:37:21,568 --> 00:37:23,744
Oh,
I'm sure he's on his last legs.
700
00:37:23,968 --> 00:37:28,224
No!
701
00:37:31,616 --> 00:37:33,984
So, take a good look
and understand this,
702
00:37:34,176 --> 00:37:36,576
which now I reiterate
for the second time.
703
00:37:36,832 --> 00:37:38,144
There will be no heroes here.
704
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,048
No fantastical plans to escape.
No happy ending.
705
00:37:42,176 --> 00:37:44,992
If you don't play the game
and abide by its rules,
706
00:37:45,311 --> 00:37:46,816
this will be your fate.
707
00:37:47,008 --> 00:37:50,207
But rest assured, next time
it won't be as quick and easy.
708
00:37:50,561 --> 00:37:53,536
You can expect much more pain.
Much more suffering.
709
00:37:53,792 --> 00:37:56,096
So, focus your energies
on accumulating votes,
710
00:37:56,608 --> 00:37:59,232
for it is the only way
out of here.
711
00:38:00,767 --> 00:38:04,832
Hey, kids. The word of the day
is fluoroantimonic acid.
712
00:38:05,056 --> 00:38:06,624
And our good, ole pal,
El Shocker,
713
00:38:06,752 --> 00:38:07,872
took one hell of a bath.
714
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,568
♪ El Shocker, El Shocker ♪
715
00:38:09,696 --> 00:38:10,912
- Really?- You know.
716
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:12,448
I mean,
I can create a better CG
717
00:38:12,576 --> 00:38:14,048
with my Instagram filters.
718
00:38:14,175 --> 00:38:16,256
- Then what?
- Fake!
719
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,584
This can't be happening to me.
720
00:38:19,871 --> 00:38:22,016
Well, I hate
to break it to you, girl...
721
00:38:22,815 --> 00:38:24,096
because it's happening
to all of us.
722
00:38:24,416 --> 00:38:26,400
Not just
to poor, little Miss Instagram.
723
00:38:26,528 --> 00:38:27,648
But look at the bright side.
724
00:38:28,256 --> 00:38:30,880
You and the twins are racking up
millions of followers by now.
725
00:38:31,008 --> 00:38:32,448
- Fuck you.
- What's up?
726
00:38:32,672 --> 00:38:34,048
You don't like the exposure?
727
00:38:34,335 --> 00:38:35,488
Isn't that how you make
a living?
728
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:37,728
Showing your tits and ass
for the world to see.
729
00:38:37,856 --> 00:38:40,160
Yeah, and you blog about her
showing her tits and ass,
730
00:38:40,352 --> 00:38:41,983
and about me, and Lonni,
and anyone else
731
00:38:42,112 --> 00:38:43,488
you feel so inclined
to lie about.
732
00:38:43,616 --> 00:38:46,144
I don't lie, man.
I report the news you make
733
00:38:46,272 --> 00:38:47,679
by doing stupid ass shit.
734
00:38:47,808 --> 00:38:49,152
Stupid ass shit
like living my life?
735
00:38:49,344 --> 00:38:51,040
You love to watch people
crash and burn,
736
00:38:51,168 --> 00:38:53,824
- and you fucking exploit it.
- I give people what they want.
737
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:58,528
I give people a closer look
into the fake fucking lives
738
00:38:58,688 --> 00:39:00,416
that you choose
to show the world.
739
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:02,111
That's what I do.
740
00:39:03,168 --> 00:39:04,704
Dex and Nevin are dead.
741
00:39:06,336 --> 00:39:08,928
And you're bickering
about this bullshit?
742
00:39:10,272 --> 00:39:13,216
- You people are insane.
- And annoying as fuck.
743
00:39:13,376 --> 00:39:15,104
Now, I think all of youse
need a time-out.
744
00:39:15,328 --> 00:39:19,904
Now, who wants a drink?
I'm buying. Kaz? Come on.
745
00:39:27,104 --> 00:39:28,959
I don't know
if anyone is watching...
746
00:39:29,888 --> 00:39:32,927
or if this is some sick game.
747
00:39:34,656 --> 00:39:35,744
Or a nightmare.
748
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:40,832
How is anybody expected to speak
after witnessing that?
749
00:39:41,312 --> 00:39:42,848
You know,
I've seen a lot of crazy shite
750
00:39:42,976 --> 00:39:45,536
in my life,
but, uh, this takes the cake.
751
00:39:45,728 --> 00:39:48,159
Please, somebody help us.
752
00:39:48,448 --> 00:39:50,176
I saw them die.
753
00:39:51,328 --> 00:39:52,704
We don't deserve this.
754
00:39:52,896 --> 00:39:56,288
We're still people with a soul,
and we're still human beings.
755
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:57,856
I don't wanna die.
756
00:39:58,240 --> 00:40:01,984
To Nevin's family,
I didn't know. I'm so sorry.
757
00:40:02,144 --> 00:40:04,128
I have one thing
to say to you, Furcas.
758
00:40:05,472 --> 00:40:06,624
Go to hell.
759
00:40:06,976 --> 00:40:07,680
Fuck you.
760
00:40:07,808 --> 00:40:10,367
You cowardly piece of shite.
761
00:40:11,136 --> 00:40:12,192
Goodbye.
762
00:40:19,232 --> 00:40:21,504
And now, for a unique
perspective on these events,
763
00:40:21,696 --> 00:40:24,800
we turn to Grammy Award-winning
pop artist, Darla Drake,
764
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,335
who was once married
to Kasper Nordin,
765
00:40:26,656 --> 00:40:29,184
one of the contestants
currently inside the house.
766
00:40:29,312 --> 00:40:31,648
Darla, thank you for joining us
during what I'm sure
767
00:40:31,776 --> 00:40:33,312
is an extremely difficult time.
768
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,192
I just can't believe something
like this is happening.
769
00:40:36,992 --> 00:40:40,064
It's... it's beyond words.
770
00:40:43,168 --> 00:40:45,183
To the people
who are doing this...
771
00:40:45,312 --> 00:40:46,976
Kasper is a good man.
772
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,240
He's never done anything
to hurt anyone.
773
00:40:50,784 --> 00:40:52,032
None of these people have.
774
00:40:53,152 --> 00:40:56,352
Please, if you're listening,
just let them go.
775
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,304
And also, to the public
776
00:40:58,464 --> 00:40:59,904
who is watching
and voting on this.
777
00:41:00,032 --> 00:41:02,496
These are people's lives
that you're playing with.
778
00:41:02,815 --> 00:41:04,352
You have to stop
perpetuating this.
779
00:41:04,512 --> 00:41:06,464
Somebody has to stop this.
780
00:41:07,584 --> 00:41:10,689
But what if their votes,
or your vote,
781
00:41:10,816 --> 00:41:12,352
could help save Kasper?
782
00:41:39,903 --> 00:41:44,480
So, an Irishman, a Mexican,
a Filipino, a Swede,
783
00:41:44,736 --> 00:41:46,464
and an American walk into a bar.
784
00:41:50,144 --> 00:41:52,352
There's gotta be a punch line
in there somewhere.
785
00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:59,328
- That was nice.
- What?
786
00:42:01,408 --> 00:42:02,529
To laugh.
787
00:42:02,720 --> 00:42:04,640
Well, let's keep it going, then.
Fuck him.
788
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,880
All right. Does any of youse
know any jokes? Kasper?
789
00:42:07,296 --> 00:42:08,992
All right. I had a joke once...
790
00:42:09,919 --> 00:42:10,784
about yodeling.
791
00:42:11,552 --> 00:42:12,640
It went horribly.
792
00:42:15,327 --> 00:42:16,512
Then let's just talk.
793
00:42:16,704 --> 00:42:17,984
Yeah, we should at least
get to know each other
794
00:42:18,176 --> 00:42:19,615
before we die.
795
00:42:20,736 --> 00:42:21,791
Sorry.
796
00:42:23,072 --> 00:42:24,256
What's the topic
of the discussion?
797
00:42:24,767 --> 00:42:29,536
How about... what was it like
being married to Darla Drake?
798
00:42:30,336 --> 00:42:31,552
Boom.
799
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,504
I'm kidding, man.
It's a really bad joke.
800
00:42:33,632 --> 00:42:35,487
No, no, no, I like this topic.
801
00:42:35,712 --> 00:42:37,888
I'm sorry, Ghost,
but I'm a big fan of hers.
802
00:42:38,656 --> 00:42:39,840
Okay, so,
what do you wanna know?
803
00:42:40,031 --> 00:42:41,376
About her shoe size.
804
00:42:41,728 --> 00:42:43,745
And her thoughts
on the climate change.
805
00:42:43,871 --> 00:42:44,927
What do you think I wanna know?
806
00:42:45,056 --> 00:42:46,944
How about start
with how you met?
807
00:42:49,664 --> 00:42:52,576
It was three years ago.
808
00:42:53,664 --> 00:42:55,936
I had just moved to L.A.,
and I was playing
809
00:42:56,064 --> 00:42:58,240
this little gig
at a bar on Sunset.
810
00:42:58,752 --> 00:43:01,632
And one night, Darla showed up.
811
00:43:02,207 --> 00:43:05,216
This was just
before she blew up,
812
00:43:05,343 --> 00:43:07,456
so, I didn't know who she was.
813
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,784
And, um, after the show,
she came up to me.
814
00:43:11,136 --> 00:43:13,760
And to this day, I...
I still can't believe
815
00:43:13,887 --> 00:43:15,072
that she was talking to me.
816
00:43:15,744 --> 00:43:18,527
We closed up,
walked down the street...
817
00:43:19,424 --> 00:43:22,944
talking till the sun came up.
And...
818
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,272
I fell in love with her
right there
819
00:43:26,815 --> 00:43:27,712
on the street.
820
00:43:28,127 --> 00:43:30,240
Two months later
I'm on tour with her.
821
00:43:30,368 --> 00:43:32,256
And three months later
we're married.
822
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,711
It all just happened so fast.
823
00:43:36,192 --> 00:43:38,560
And what age were you
when you got married, 12?
824
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,431
- I was 19.
- Oh.
825
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,632
I guess, young and dumb
really is a thing, huh?
826
00:43:46,145 --> 00:43:48,640
For the record,
the whole backup singer thing
827
00:43:48,768 --> 00:43:51,360
started as a joke.
I was never her backup singer.
828
00:43:51,679 --> 00:43:53,856
She just pulled me up
on stage one night,
829
00:43:54,176 --> 00:43:55,200
just to mess with me.
830
00:43:55,616 --> 00:43:58,464
Headlines. "Pop star falls
for backup singer."
831
00:43:59,392 --> 00:44:00,416
Totally fabricated.
832
00:44:00,831 --> 00:44:03,489
And then we did that stupid
reality show.
833
00:44:04,063 --> 00:44:05,856
And I said I would never
do that again.
834
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:08,703
And here I am...
835
00:44:10,912 --> 00:44:11,776
again.
836
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,231
Only this time for the money.
837
00:44:17,343 --> 00:44:20,223
Hey,
go easy on yourself, Ghost.
838
00:44:20,705 --> 00:44:22,368
All right,
we're all here for the money.
839
00:44:23,072 --> 00:44:24,767
I spent last summer living
in my car,
840
00:44:24,896 --> 00:44:26,624
so, I can see
how five million dollars
841
00:44:27,072 --> 00:44:29,823
could come in handy.
Well, if I win.
842
00:44:30,527 --> 00:44:32,320
And if you lose,
843
00:44:32,544 --> 00:44:34,783
all your problems
will be gone anyways.
844
00:44:35,424 --> 00:44:37,151
So, it's a win-win?
845
00:44:42,368 --> 00:44:45,183
If Furcas actually
gives the winner five million.
846
00:44:45,376 --> 00:44:47,168
I don't know
about that Furcas guy,
847
00:44:47,296 --> 00:44:49,536
he seems a bit sketchy,
if you ask me.
848
00:44:52,063 --> 00:44:55,136
- Yep.
- You guys having fun?
849
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:56,959
You all gonna die.
850
00:44:57,919 --> 00:44:58,848
Hilarious.
851
00:44:59,073 --> 00:45:00,929
And what are we supposed
to do instead, babe?
852
00:45:01,407 --> 00:45:03,583
Sit around, sleep, bitch,
cry all day.
853
00:45:03,713 --> 00:45:06,400
Please tell us,
how's this working out for you?
854
00:45:06,528 --> 00:45:08,927
Sorry to interrupt
this riveting conversation,
855
00:45:09,056 --> 00:45:10,176
but the results are in.
856
00:45:10,433 --> 00:45:12,767
I do, however,
have some exciting news.
857
00:45:12,992 --> 00:45:14,912
Since Dex's untimely death,
858
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,736
the viewership
has risen fivefold,
859
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,872
so, a big congratulations
is in order to all of you.
860
00:45:20,289 --> 00:45:23,487
Now, without further ado,
let's find out who.
861
00:45:32,927 --> 00:45:34,016
Nice work, Cat.
862
00:45:34,529 --> 00:45:37,248
It seems, sometimes,
less truly is more.
863
00:45:37,536 --> 00:45:39,936
Lonni, second last
to second place.
864
00:45:40,224 --> 00:45:42,113
Perhaps the mental anguish
you suffered
865
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:44,607
after disposing off Nevin
in such a gruesome,
866
00:45:44,767 --> 00:45:46,400
yet entertaining fashion,
867
00:45:46,527 --> 00:45:48,255
made you a more sympathetic
character.
868
00:45:48,543 --> 00:45:49,760
You're a piece of shit.
869
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:51,327
Please refrain
from the clever comments
870
00:45:51,456 --> 00:45:52,480
for the time being, Mr. Nordin.
871
00:45:52,896 --> 00:45:54,911
Third place
is still respectable.
872
00:45:55,423 --> 00:45:57,056
Next, we have Headstone
in fourth,
873
00:45:57,343 --> 00:45:59,904
but look here,a Funhouse first,
874
00:46:00,032 --> 00:46:01,440
a tie for the bottom two.
875
00:46:01,569 --> 00:46:03,551
There is no way
I tied that bitch.
876
00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:06,560
Okay. Keep talking, stupid.
877
00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:08,064
- Go on, say it.
- Fuck you.
878
00:46:08,289 --> 00:46:11,424
- Go to hell, skank!
- I don't understand you!
879
00:46:11,552 --> 00:46:14,080
Go fuck yourself, stupid!
880
00:46:14,207 --> 00:46:17,184
Ladies, please,
this is very unbecoming.
881
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:19,967
However, this next challenge
may be just the thing
882
00:46:20,096 --> 00:46:22,047
to help you work
through these issues.
883
00:46:22,625 --> 00:46:26,176
So, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
884
00:46:26,624 --> 00:46:28,032
Blind Rage.
885
00:46:28,289 --> 00:46:31,009
Well, that sounds fun
and therapeutic.
886
00:46:31,136 --> 00:46:34,113
So, let's all adjourn
to the Kill Room, shall we?
887
00:46:37,536 --> 00:46:38,976
I'm gonna
fucking kill you!
888
00:46:39,104 --> 00:46:41,729
I highly doubt you can outfight
the bullet, Headstone.
889
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,544
- No! No!
- Hey, get your hands off her!
890
00:46:44,736 --> 00:46:47,167
- Hey!
- No!
891
00:46:52,032 --> 00:46:53,887
Fuck!
892
00:46:56,033 --> 00:46:58,591
Welcome
to your Blind Rage challenge.
893
00:46:58,720 --> 00:47:01,889
The rules are simple.
You'll each be given an ax,
894
00:47:02,049 --> 00:47:03,873
the lights will go out,
and you will fight
895
00:47:03,999 --> 00:47:05,376
until one of you is dead.
896
00:47:05,503 --> 00:47:07,713
Please don't do this to us!
897
00:47:07,839 --> 00:47:09,440
There are no pleases here!
898
00:47:17,823 --> 00:47:20,576
You're dead, girl.
You're fucking dead.
899
00:47:20,736 --> 00:47:22,527
It's time to play.
900
00:47:24,576 --> 00:47:25,920
Ready?
901
00:47:26,049 --> 00:47:27,104
Lights out!
902
00:47:29,825 --> 00:47:31,967
Holy shit. Night vision.
903
00:47:38,177 --> 00:47:41,567
Oh, man, she's creeping up.
Shit's about to get real.
904
00:47:41,696 --> 00:47:43,104
Yeah.
Let's go, Ula.
905
00:47:47,969 --> 00:47:49,760
Come on. Watch your back!
Watch your back!
906
00:47:49,953 --> 00:47:51,135
Back up, babe.
907
00:47:53,311 --> 00:47:55,488
Fucker!
908
00:47:59,456 --> 00:48:00,353
She's right there.
909
00:48:07,233 --> 00:48:09,631
I hear you, bitch!
910
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,144
Get up, get up, get up! Get up!
She's there, she's there!
911
00:48:14,271 --> 00:48:15,809
Lose something, bitch?
912
00:48:26,496 --> 00:48:27,840
Go on, pick it up! There!
913
00:48:32,607 --> 00:48:34,560
What a fucking shit day
I'm having.
914
00:48:36,800 --> 00:48:39,487
Say something, you moron!
Say something!
915
00:48:39,648 --> 00:48:42,528
I can't understand you!
916
00:48:42,656 --> 00:48:43,616
Ooh!
917
00:48:45,183 --> 00:48:47,456
Ooh, Jesus Christ.
918
00:49:58,593 --> 00:50:00,927
An ax fight in the dark
between two hot chicks.
919
00:50:01,152 --> 00:50:02,496
Well played, Funhouse.
920
00:50:02,655 --> 00:50:04,160
Well played.
My interest is piqued.
921
00:50:04,353 --> 00:50:05,921
Although, you could've piqued
other parts of me
922
00:50:06,048 --> 00:50:07,519
had they been
more scantily clad,
923
00:50:07,872 --> 00:50:10,560
but choosers can't be beggars
in this crazy world of ours.
924
00:50:10,817 --> 00:50:13,568
Word on the street is, Ximena
has a splitting headache.
925
00:50:20,864 --> 00:50:22,176
Hmm, duck lips.
926
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:47,807
Yeah.
927
00:50:59,936 --> 00:51:01,407
The question
everyone's asking then,
928
00:51:01,536 --> 00:51:02,816
is why can't authorities find
929
00:51:02,944 --> 00:51:04,577
the sourceof the Funhouse website
930
00:51:04,704 --> 00:51:06,560
and where the videos
are being broadcast from?
931
00:51:07,135 --> 00:51:08,417
Yeah, I mean, there's many ways
932
00:51:08,544 --> 00:51:10,112
you can hide
a website's IP address
933
00:51:10,241 --> 00:51:11,904
on the internet.
Typically, they'd use
934
00:51:12,096 --> 00:51:14,591
what's called a Tor network
and a dot onion site.
935
00:51:14,751 --> 00:51:16,575
This will have multiple levels
of encryption
936
00:51:16,735 --> 00:51:18,336
making it virtually impossible
to track down,
937
00:51:18,527 --> 00:51:21,952
but also not easily searchable.
Uh, whoever's behind this,
938
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:23,648
obviously wants
as many eyes on it as possible,
939
00:51:23,777 --> 00:51:25,888
so,
it has to be on a public domain
940
00:51:26,016 --> 00:51:27,167
and not on the dark web.
941
00:51:27,424 --> 00:51:29,312
Why doesn't the FBI shut down
the website,
942
00:51:29,441 --> 00:51:31,007
so that the public
can't see it?
943
00:51:31,392 --> 00:51:33,855
Taking away the ability
for people to engage.
944
00:51:34,144 --> 00:51:35,553
Yeah, I mean, normally,
they would just blackhole
945
00:51:35,679 --> 00:51:37,695
the... the IP address,
but whoever's behind this
946
00:51:37,824 --> 00:51:39,104
has obviously thought of that.
947
00:51:39,296 --> 00:51:41,664
Um, they're using
a deep-learning virus.
948
00:51:41,824 --> 00:51:43,200
It's a AI of some kind.
949
00:51:43,329 --> 00:51:45,632
Uh, this has, you know,
changing proxies
950
00:51:45,792 --> 00:51:47,359
that act as web servers
popping up
951
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:49,024
in different countries
all over the world.
952
00:51:49,536 --> 00:51:50,720
Uh, it's called onion routing.
953
00:51:50,848 --> 00:51:52,512
And with this
deep-learning virus,
954
00:51:52,672 --> 00:51:55,713
it frankly makes it impossible
to track down.
955
00:51:56,544 --> 00:51:59,232
Unfortunately,
if I was to guess,
956
00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:02,272
I would say that this show
will continue until...
957
00:52:04,224 --> 00:52:06,527
well, I mean,
until someone wins.
958
00:52:11,359 --> 00:52:12,448
Wake up!
959
00:52:20,384 --> 00:52:23,360
Wake up!
960
00:52:27,008 --> 00:52:29,760
Where are you?
961
00:52:36,416 --> 00:52:37,601
Come on, Headstone.
962
00:52:37,792 --> 00:52:39,744
Come on,
you can't sleep here. Come on.
963
00:52:39,968 --> 00:52:43,424
Fuck off, Ghost!
Can you just let me lay here.
964
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:54,463
What are you doing?
965
00:52:54,625 --> 00:52:57,664
I was just trying
to get him to bed.
966
00:52:58,176 --> 00:52:59,808
Had a feeling about you two.
967
00:53:01,345 --> 00:53:03,296
Come. Come sit with me, Kasper.
968
00:53:03,424 --> 00:53:05,951
I think I'm gonna head
to bed actually.
969
00:53:06,432 --> 00:53:07,744
You probably should, too.
970
00:53:07,903 --> 00:53:11,392
Why? What do I have to do
tomorrow? Die?
971
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,424
Now, I do understand
the comedy in it.
972
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:19,391
- I'm gonna die in here.
- Come on, let's get you to bed.
973
00:53:27,584 --> 00:53:29,696
You okay?
974
00:53:31,007 --> 00:53:32,256
Okay, come on.
975
00:53:37,695 --> 00:53:39,840
Come on... it's okay.
976
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:46,976
- And up. And down you go.
- Stay with me.
977
00:53:47,199 --> 00:53:48,544
Hey, take it easy, okay?
Come on.
978
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,680
- You don't like me, do you?
- Of course, I do.
979
00:53:52,512 --> 00:53:55,584
Then let's do it.
Let's give them what they want.
980
00:53:56,128 --> 00:53:59,040
Maybe they will vote for us.
981
00:54:04,288 --> 00:54:07,296
I'm really sorry,
I can't do that. I can't.
982
00:54:07,488 --> 00:54:09,343
Fucking bastard.
983
00:54:09,472 --> 00:54:10,592
Headstone, Headstone, it's...
984
00:54:10,721 --> 00:54:12,672
Fucking bastard!
985
00:54:16,576 --> 00:54:18,401
Let him go!
You're gonna kill him!
986
00:54:18,528 --> 00:54:22,336
He tried to fuck her!
987
00:54:27,104 --> 00:54:30,016
I've fucking seen you, Ghost!
I fucking saw you!
988
00:55:16,544 --> 00:55:21,664
The wonders of alcohol,shame, regret, blackouts.
989
00:55:22,144 --> 00:55:24,128
And it almost led to our first
990
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,048
non-challenge murder
in the house.
991
00:55:26,304 --> 00:55:27,680
How's the neck, Kasper?
992
00:55:28,672 --> 00:55:31,424
Well, what a morose group
you all are.
993
00:55:31,616 --> 00:55:32,960
You've certainly taken
994
00:55:33,152 --> 00:55:34,784
the fun out of Funhouse today,haven't you?
995
00:55:35,232 --> 00:55:37,920
Well, without further ado,
let's find out who.
996
00:55:44,992 --> 00:55:48,159
Wow!
Now, that is indeed a surprise.
997
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:49,856
Kasper Nordin for the win.
998
00:55:50,240 --> 00:55:52,608
- Quite mind-boggling, actually.
- Fuck you.
999
00:55:52,928 --> 00:55:55,040
And that was quite rude,
1000
00:55:55,392 --> 00:55:57,536
but perhaps effective,
considering your vote count.
1001
00:55:57,696 --> 00:56:00,544
See, it seems your unwavering
"fuck you" attitude
1002
00:56:00,672 --> 00:56:02,048
has made you a crowd favorite.
1003
00:56:02,240 --> 00:56:05,024
I mean, we are after all living
in unprecedented times
1004
00:56:05,248 --> 00:56:07,456
where ignorance, vulgarity,
and aggression
1005
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,464
are all traits to be admired,
so, keep it up!
1006
00:56:10,912 --> 00:56:13,216
In second place,
holding strong, is Cat,
1007
00:56:13,344 --> 00:56:15,456
followed by Lonni, Headstone,
1008
00:56:15,648 --> 00:56:17,920
and finally, Ula.
1009
00:56:18,304 --> 00:56:20,960
I guess, even the female form
on full display
1010
00:56:21,248 --> 00:56:22,624
can become tiresome.
1011
00:56:23,296 --> 00:56:25,824
We are after all living
in the internet age, Ula,
1012
00:56:25,952 --> 00:56:28,448
where variety
is just a click away.
1013
00:56:28,607 --> 00:56:30,464
Perhaps
you should have focused
1014
00:56:30,592 --> 00:56:34,112
on being more genuine.
People love authenticity.
1015
00:56:34,400 --> 00:56:39,040
I get it, okay. People hate me.
They love this.
1016
00:56:39,775 --> 00:56:41,856
You think it hasn't been
that way my whole life?
1017
00:56:41,984 --> 00:56:43,232
Do you think I don't know?
1018
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:44,736
Do you think
I didn't hear everyone talking
1019
00:56:44,927 --> 00:56:46,016
about me in school?
1020
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,536
Like they still talk about me.
Comment about me.
1021
00:56:49,727 --> 00:56:50,943
Like they know me.
1022
00:56:51,072 --> 00:56:53,600
"Hey, beautiful." "Hi, darling."
"Hi, sexy."
1023
00:56:53,856 --> 00:56:56,992
Whore, bimbo,
skank, gold-digger.
1024
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:59,744
Do you think I don't know?
Well, fuck you!
1025
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:01,632
My name is Ursula Kosmatka.
1026
00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:03,520
I don't give a fuck
what you think of me.
1027
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:10,784
Wow. That was authentic, Ula.
That was genuine.
1028
00:57:10,912 --> 00:57:13,248
That tugged at the heartstrings.
1029
00:57:13,696 --> 00:57:16,288
But unfortunately,
too little too late.
1030
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,480
So, let's just see
what her challenge will be.
1031
00:57:21,311 --> 00:57:22,752
Forget Me Not.
1032
00:57:26,144 --> 00:57:28,864
The Forget Me Not challenge
is a simple variant
1033
00:57:28,991 --> 00:57:31,712
of the perennial classic
card game Concentration,
1034
00:57:32,128 --> 00:57:33,568
also known as Memory.
1035
00:57:33,824 --> 00:57:36,767
You will have two minutes
to match all the card pairs.
1036
00:57:36,992 --> 00:57:38,400
If you succeed,
1037
00:57:38,529 --> 00:57:40,511
you automatically move on
to the next round.
1038
00:57:40,768 --> 00:57:41,952
But if you fail,
1039
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:44,959
well, I strongly suggest
you don't fail.
1040
00:57:45,376 --> 00:57:47,904
Your time begins now.
1041
00:57:48,384 --> 00:57:50,496
Concentrate!
1042
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:04,768
- Ula, the one on the right.
- Dude, she's probably
1043
00:58:04,896 --> 00:58:06,656
- really stressed out right now.
- Aw.
1044
00:58:06,783 --> 00:58:07,872
Cut her some slack.
1045
00:58:18,753 --> 00:58:20,160
Come on.
1046
00:58:27,425 --> 00:58:28,896
Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry!
1047
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:33,600
Keep going! Come on!
1048
00:58:46,047 --> 00:58:50,784
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
1049
00:58:50,912 --> 00:58:56,959
five, four, three, two, one.
Time's up!
1050
00:58:59,327 --> 00:59:01,344
Wow, what a barn burner.
1051
00:59:01,696 --> 00:59:03,327
I really thought
you had it there, Ula,
1052
00:59:03,744 --> 00:59:06,240
but I do see how duck face
and fish gape
1053
00:59:06,368 --> 00:59:08,416
can easily be mistaken
for one another.
1054
00:59:09,152 --> 00:59:11,649
Bring forth the Wheel of Fun!
1055
00:59:12,576 --> 00:59:14,720
You'll have one chance
to spin the wheel
1056
00:59:14,847 --> 00:59:16,832
and seal your fate.
If you do the math,
1057
00:59:16,992 --> 00:59:20,992
you have a 46.7 percent chance
of landing on a Quick & Easy,
1058
00:59:21,504 --> 00:59:24,447
which means you will be shot
in the head point blank.
1059
00:59:24,608 --> 00:59:28,639
No pain, case closed.
But there's also Pass the Buck,
1060
00:59:28,801 --> 00:59:30,496
which means
you pass a new challenge
1061
00:59:30,624 --> 00:59:34,112
onto the next lowest contestant
and move on to the next round.
1062
00:59:34,303 --> 00:59:36,513
Better odds than any casino,
right?
1063
00:59:36,832 --> 00:59:38,784
Now, those other seven spaces,
1064
00:59:38,912 --> 00:59:40,863
you'll wanna avoid those
altogether,
1065
00:59:41,056 --> 00:59:44,351
the Rat House and Impaler
being especially messy.
1066
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:46,560
If you choose not to spin,
1067
00:59:46,783 --> 00:59:49,151
I'll choose
one of the nasty seven for you.
1068
00:59:49,311 --> 00:59:50,592
But wouldn't it be nice
1069
00:59:50,719 --> 00:59:52,543
to be in charge
of your own destiny?
1070
00:59:52,735 --> 00:59:55,136
So, turn that frown
upside down,
1071
00:59:55,263 --> 00:59:58,720
spin the wheel,
and paint the town red.
1072
01:00:14,144 --> 01:00:15,776
I hope she gets the gun.
1073
01:00:16,543 --> 01:00:18,496
Pear of Anguish
sounds pretty interesting.
1074
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:21,120
You're sick. You know that?
1075
01:00:36,224 --> 01:00:39,488
The Rack! Ouch! Arguably
1076
01:00:39,616 --> 01:00:42,336
the most painful torture method
ever devised.
1077
01:00:42,753 --> 01:00:45,665
This is definitely
not your lucky day, Ula.
1078
01:00:45,984 --> 01:00:47,232
Prepare her.
1079
01:00:51,103 --> 01:00:52,863
- Yes!
- Take her alive!
1080
01:01:01,216 --> 01:01:02,688
Ula La More.
1081
01:01:02,816 --> 01:01:04,736
Did you know
your true name, Ursula,
1082
01:01:04,865 --> 01:01:07,809
derives from the Latin word
meaning strong little bear?
1083
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:10,816
Well, you certainly lived up
to that name today.
1084
01:01:10,944 --> 01:01:14,496
You killed a man
with your teeth, like an animal!
1085
01:01:15,007 --> 01:01:17,471
Perhaps I didn't give you
enough credit, Ula.
1086
01:01:17,631 --> 01:01:21,536
It sure will be a shame
to see you part with us today,
1087
01:01:21,696 --> 01:01:23,873
but alas, you cannot stay.
1088
01:01:24,129 --> 01:01:25,344
Death lies on her
1089
01:01:25,472 --> 01:01:26,784
like an untimely frost...
1090
01:01:26,913 --> 01:01:29,472
...upon the sweetest flower
of all the field.
1091
01:01:29,793 --> 01:01:33,376
- No!
- Stop!
1092
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:48,160
Look! Look at me! Look at me!
For fuck's... Ula! Hey!
1093
01:01:56,256 --> 01:01:59,520
Oh, there goes an arm!
1094
01:01:59,711 --> 01:02:02,112
For fuck's sake! God! Fuck!
1095
01:02:10,049 --> 01:02:11,969
Funhouse. What the hell?
1096
01:02:12,096 --> 01:02:14,271
You go and kill off
the hot Instagram model,
1097
01:02:14,400 --> 01:02:16,320
and right after
she bares her soul to us?
1098
01:02:16,447 --> 01:02:18,400
I mean, do you even know
who your target audience is?
1099
01:02:18,560 --> 01:02:20,383
I was starting
to really like Miss La More,
1100
01:02:20,544 --> 01:02:22,240
and then you go
and rip her limbs off.
1101
01:02:22,369 --> 01:02:25,664
How can you take selfies
without arms?
1102
01:02:33,536 --> 01:02:36,287
Hello, everyone.
1103
01:02:36,703 --> 01:02:40,031
I have a surprise for you
waiting by the green door.
1104
01:03:48,960 --> 01:03:52,064
- You're a twisted fuck.
- I apologize, Kasper,
1105
01:03:52,191 --> 01:03:54,207
we couldn't find
any online pictures
1106
01:03:54,336 --> 01:03:56,256
of your parents
due to the fact that they died
1107
01:03:56,384 --> 01:03:57,920
in a car crash
when you were just
1108
01:03:58,047 --> 01:03:59,233
three years old.
1109
01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:00,991
You, however, survived
1110
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:02,976
to become Darla Drake's
ex-husband,
1111
01:04:03,200 --> 01:04:05,856
so, that's a nice silver
lining, isn't it?
1112
01:04:06,624 --> 01:04:08,671
Well, I hope
this trip down memory lane
1113
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:10,049
has brought some solace
1114
01:04:10,176 --> 01:04:12,607
into your otherwise
wasted lives.
1115
01:04:47,744 --> 01:04:49,248
I'm sorry about your family.
1116
01:04:50,081 --> 01:04:52,863
It just made me realize
that if I die in here,
1117
01:04:52,992 --> 01:04:54,144
what difference does it make?
1118
01:04:54,687 --> 01:04:57,761
He's right, you know?
I contribute nothing.
1119
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:01,119
- I am nothing.
- Don't you dare listen
1120
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:02,688
to that thing.
1121
01:05:02,880 --> 01:05:07,361
I will always be known
as Darla Drake's ex-husband.
1122
01:05:08,031 --> 01:05:09,344
That's my legacy.
1123
01:05:12,513 --> 01:05:14,911
Believe me, I get it.
You forgot you're talking
1124
01:05:15,041 --> 01:05:18,017
to a girl who dated 30 guys
in front of 50 million people,
1125
01:05:18,431 --> 01:05:19,615
and was to marry one of them
1126
01:05:19,743 --> 01:05:21,216
after knowing him
for, like, a month.
1127
01:05:21,728 --> 01:05:23,777
People think I'm shallow.
1128
01:05:24,608 --> 01:05:25,889
That I'm a fame whore.
1129
01:05:26,624 --> 01:05:29,247
But why? 'Cause we were trying
to find someone to love?
1130
01:05:30,047 --> 01:05:31,839
Does that mean
we're not good people?
1131
01:05:32,095 --> 01:05:34,015
That we don't contribute?
1132
01:05:35,007 --> 01:05:36,639
We got caught up in something.
1133
01:05:37,473 --> 01:05:40,416
It's this idea
that we need to be somebody.
1134
01:05:41,153 --> 01:05:43,424
I bought into it.
Thought I could find it.
1135
01:05:43,808 --> 01:05:47,136
But you... you just fell in love
with a girl
1136
01:05:47,487 --> 01:05:50,624
and got caught up in her life.
Big difference.
1137
01:05:51,713 --> 01:05:53,537
Social media, tabloids,
1138
01:05:53,664 --> 01:05:57,184
celebrities, fame, money,
it's all bullshit.
1139
01:05:57,855 --> 01:06:02,496
It's taken us down a dark path,
and it has led us right here.
1140
01:06:03,008 --> 01:06:05,599
- I have to explain about Ula.
- No, you don't.
1141
01:06:05,727 --> 01:06:08,384
- Yes, I do.
- You don't owe me anything.
1142
01:06:10,144 --> 01:06:12,544
And I don't feel right talking
about her...
1143
01:06:13,793 --> 01:06:14,720
not now.
1144
01:06:28,224 --> 01:06:29,888
If that's the case,
then why do you think
1145
01:06:30,017 --> 01:06:31,424
your marriage
to Kasper didn't work out?
1146
01:06:31,744 --> 01:06:34,016
I watched Back up Love,
and it seems to me
1147
01:06:34,144 --> 01:06:36,384
like you two were made
for each other.
1148
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:41,312
With Kasper,
love was never the problem.
1149
01:06:42,464 --> 01:06:45,600
I know this will sound
very trite and cliché,
1150
01:06:45,729 --> 01:06:49,248
but... it's complicated.
1151
01:06:50,273 --> 01:06:53,952
Living under a microscope,
it's... it's complicated.
1152
01:06:55,744 --> 01:06:58,752
And he, um... he wanted kids.
1153
01:07:00,255 --> 01:07:03,713
And while I knew he would
be an amazing father...
1154
01:07:06,207 --> 01:07:07,457
I don't know, I just...
1155
01:07:08,864 --> 01:07:12,128
I can't imagine bringing a
child into this world.
1156
01:07:12,831 --> 01:07:14,016
Why not?
1157
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:15,615
Turn on the news
and take your pick.
1158
01:07:17,216 --> 01:07:20,415
And now, this...this Funhouse thing.
1159
01:07:21,601 --> 01:07:23,040
I just can't believe
what human beings
1160
01:07:23,169 --> 01:07:27,456
- are capable of.
- Do you still love Kasper?
1161
01:07:30,432 --> 01:07:31,584
I'll always love him.
1162
01:07:33,312 --> 01:07:36,192
So, without further ado,
let's find out who.
1163
01:07:44,415 --> 01:07:46,176
Congratulations, Kasper.
1164
01:07:46,495 --> 01:07:49,183
Personally,
I find you quite abrasive,
1165
01:07:49,311 --> 01:07:50,784
but the audience seems
to like you.
1166
01:07:50,944 --> 01:07:53,983
Perhaps the chivalry shown
to the recently departed
1167
01:07:54,144 --> 01:07:55,392
did not go unnoticed
1168
01:07:55,776 --> 01:07:58,368
by the more civilized portion
of the voting audience.
1169
01:07:58,560 --> 01:07:59,871
I do feel that some form
1170
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,944
of vindication is owed
to Mr. Nordin.
1171
01:08:08,544 --> 01:08:11,488
Stay with me.
1172
01:08:12,641 --> 01:08:15,360
- You don't like me, do you?- Of course, I do.
1173
01:08:15,584 --> 01:08:18,079
Then let's do it.
Maybe they will vote for us.
1174
01:08:22,208 --> 01:08:23,743
I'm sorry, I can't do that.
1175
01:08:25,312 --> 01:08:26,944
Fucking bastard.
1176
01:08:27,072 --> 01:08:29,152
- Headstone, Headstone, it's...
- Fucking bastard!
1177
01:08:29,567 --> 01:08:30,752
Let him go!
1178
01:08:31,168 --> 01:08:32,545
- You're gonna kill him!
- He tried to fuck her!
1179
01:08:34,624 --> 01:08:37,440
I'm sorry, Ghost.
1180
01:08:38,528 --> 01:08:40,416
Now, that we've cleared
the air on that,
1181
01:08:40,544 --> 01:08:43,392
back to the count.
We have Lonni in second place,
1182
01:08:43,744 --> 01:08:46,751
Cat in third,
and finally, Headstone.
1183
01:08:46,879 --> 01:08:48,288
It seems your drunken antics
1184
01:08:48,416 --> 01:08:49,856
will only take you so far.
1185
01:08:50,144 --> 01:08:53,665
Looks like the one-trick pony
has finally run out of tricks.
1186
01:08:53,921 --> 01:08:55,648
Show me the man
behind the puppet
1187
01:08:56,096 --> 01:08:58,721
- and I'll show you some tricks.
- All in due time.
1188
01:08:58,912 --> 01:09:02,624
For now, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
1189
01:09:04,608 --> 01:09:07,967
Death Match. The audience
shall choose your fate.
1190
01:09:11,711 --> 01:09:13,216
Vapula
1191
01:09:17,760 --> 01:09:19,616
Sabnock.
1192
01:09:25,056 --> 01:09:27,039
Botis.
1193
01:09:31,264 --> 01:09:33,472
Orobas.
1194
01:09:38,976 --> 01:09:40,864
Voting is open for one hour.
1195
01:09:45,056 --> 01:09:47,360
No one's gonna vote
on something like this.
1196
01:09:49,247 --> 01:09:50,304
Are they?
1197
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:58,304
- Whoa!
- Those are big dudes,
1198
01:09:58,432 --> 01:09:59,360
- man.
- Yeah.
1199
01:09:59,743 --> 01:10:01,376
That painting
on their face. Whoo!
1200
01:10:01,504 --> 01:10:03,904
- I like that guy.
- Orobas all the way, man.
1201
01:10:04,032 --> 01:10:05,728
- That dude right there, Botis.
- No, no, no, no.
1202
01:10:06,208 --> 01:10:07,744
Vapula all the way, man.
1203
01:10:11,231 --> 01:10:14,079
Come on!
1204
01:10:22,496 --> 01:10:24,928
Botis.
1205
01:10:41,983 --> 01:10:44,224
Sabnock.
1206
01:11:01,536 --> 01:11:03,264
Botis.
1207
01:11:03,424 --> 01:11:05,056
The audience has spoken.
1208
01:11:05,216 --> 01:11:07,488
Headstone versus Botis
to the death.
1209
01:11:07,744 --> 01:11:10,560
If you win,
you continue to the next round.
1210
01:11:10,688 --> 01:11:13,184
If you lose, well...
1211
01:11:34,208 --> 01:11:36,320
What I say now
is for one person,
1212
01:11:36,448 --> 01:11:37,792
and one person only.
1213
01:11:39,296 --> 01:11:41,280
My daughter...
1214
01:11:41,408 --> 01:11:42,272
...Nina.
1215
01:11:43,008 --> 01:11:44,608
When you grow up,
I hope you never witness
1216
01:11:44,736 --> 01:11:47,456
what happened in here.
I pray you never see that.
1217
01:11:48,159 --> 01:11:51,712
But I do hope that you receive
this message someday,
1218
01:11:51,872 --> 01:11:53,760
so, you can understand something
about me.
1219
01:11:54,400 --> 01:11:56,192
I tried to be a good father.
1220
01:11:56,799 --> 01:12:00,000
Now, I know I wasn't allowed
to be around you very much
1221
01:12:00,128 --> 01:12:01,888
because of the bad choices
I made.
1222
01:12:02,496 --> 01:12:05,600
Choices that had nothing
to do with you. It was my fault.
1223
01:12:06,048 --> 01:12:08,576
I did that to us
and for that I'm ashamed.
1224
01:12:09,279 --> 01:12:11,392
I've made so many mistakes.
1225
01:12:13,024 --> 01:12:15,648
I have so much rage.
1226
01:12:16,352 --> 01:12:20,224
But there's one thing
I did do right, you.
1227
01:12:21,887 --> 01:12:23,232
You were the only thing
in my life
1228
01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:27,072
that was pure, and good,
and beautiful.
1229
01:12:27,584 --> 01:12:30,752
My Primrose Princess
in your wee yellow dress.
1230
01:12:32,095 --> 01:12:34,688
Just remember, no matter
what happens in your life,
1231
01:12:34,912 --> 01:12:38,207
that your father loved you
more than anything in his.
1232
01:12:40,960 --> 01:12:45,248
You are my life... always.
1233
01:12:48,864 --> 01:12:50,880
I'll see you later.
1234
01:12:51,136 --> 01:12:54,496
And now, this is the moment
fight fans watching
1235
01:12:54,624 --> 01:12:56,512
around the world
have been waiting for.
1236
01:12:56,800 --> 01:12:59,296
Live
from the Funhouse Kill Room!
1237
01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:02,112
A fight to the death
for the undisputed
1238
01:13:02,272 --> 01:13:03,872
Funhouse Championship
of the world.
1239
01:13:04,064 --> 01:13:06,368
Introducing first, fighting
out of the blue corner,
1240
01:13:06,496 --> 01:13:09,408
a mixed martial artist
holding a professional record,
1241
01:13:09,535 --> 01:13:12,192
28 wins, six losses,
one no contest,
1242
01:13:12,352 --> 01:13:14,432
he stands
five feet ten inches tall,
1243
01:13:14,560 --> 01:13:16,992
weighing in at a 170
and one half pounds,
1244
01:13:17,120 --> 01:13:19,168
fighting out of
Dundalk, Ireland
1245
01:13:19,297 --> 01:13:22,496
James Headstone Malone.
1246
01:13:22,720 --> 01:13:24,224
Come on, buddy.
Come on, you got this.
1247
01:13:24,416 --> 01:13:26,560
Introducing his opponent,
fighting out of the red corner,
1248
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:29,600
holding a perfect record
of 24 kills, no losses.
1249
01:13:29,728 --> 01:13:31,744
He stands
at six feet ten inches tall,
1250
01:13:31,871 --> 01:13:34,240
weighing in at 340 pounds,
1251
01:13:34,368 --> 01:13:38,176
fighting out of the Seventh
Circle of Hell, Botis!
1252
01:13:41,184 --> 01:13:43,487
- Let's go, Botis.
- Why would you cheer for him?
1253
01:13:43,616 --> 01:13:46,304
- It's to the death.
- Look at him, he's massive.
1254
01:13:47,456 --> 01:13:49,344
Gentlemen,
the rules are very simple.
1255
01:13:49,503 --> 01:13:51,744
Fight until one of you is dead.
1256
01:13:53,248 --> 01:13:54,911
Begin.
1257
01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:23,711
Yes!
1258
01:15:22,783 --> 01:15:26,528
- No!
- Oh, yes, Botis! Yes! Yes!
1259
01:15:43,808 --> 01:15:46,432
- Come on, asshole!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
1260
01:16:01,183 --> 01:16:02,624
- You got this, Headstone!
- Come on!
1261
01:16:03,008 --> 01:16:05,952
- Tear it out.
- Rip his fucking head off!
1262
01:16:13,056 --> 01:16:14,080
Yes!
1263
01:16:14,432 --> 01:16:15,583
He fucking did it!
1264
01:16:15,744 --> 01:16:17,984
Whoo! Yeah.
1265
01:16:18,303 --> 01:16:21,216
A fantastic display
of courage, Headstone.
1266
01:16:21,472 --> 01:16:25,409
I'd even hazard a guess to say
that if you absolutely had to,
1267
01:16:25,536 --> 01:16:27,008
you could keep fighting.
1268
01:16:27,807 --> 01:16:31,968
Well, you absolutely have to.
1269
01:16:37,025 --> 01:16:40,160
No! What the hell is this?
No! Headstone!
1270
01:16:41,599 --> 01:16:43,200
You're a fucking liar
and a snake!
1271
01:16:48,160 --> 01:16:49,088
Okay.
1272
01:16:50,496 --> 01:16:51,840
But just one last thing.
1273
01:16:53,280 --> 01:16:55,616
You know you're going
to hell for all this. Right?
1274
01:16:57,856 --> 01:17:02,144
See, the thing is,
I'm going there, too.
1275
01:17:03,104 --> 01:17:04,224
So, I'll be waiting for you.
1276
01:17:04,543 --> 01:17:07,392
And I'll teach you
about fucking pain.
1277
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:12,416
Hell is empty
and all the devils are here.
1278
01:17:24,065 --> 01:17:27,040
- The bold will die...
- As will the strong.
1279
01:17:27,713 --> 01:17:30,432
As legends, we go on.
1280
01:17:35,744 --> 01:17:36,800
Come on!
1281
01:17:39,807 --> 01:17:42,752
- Come on!
- No! No!
1282
01:17:49,600 --> 01:17:51,744
No!
1283
01:17:54,911 --> 01:17:56,000
Fucking stop.
1284
01:18:25,280 --> 01:18:27,711
Okay, Funhouse,
that was one hell of a fight.
1285
01:18:28,000 --> 01:18:30,016
I mean, that Headstone fella
can sure take a beating.
1286
01:18:30,144 --> 01:18:31,680
But then again, we Irish
have been taking them
1287
01:18:31,807 --> 01:18:33,185
- our whole lives.- Okay.
1288
01:18:33,375 --> 01:18:35,583
Sorry, just a bit of sad
reflection for my people.
1289
01:18:35,712 --> 01:18:37,215
Not gonna lie,
I was little disappointed
1290
01:18:37,344 --> 01:18:38,976
to see my countryman taken
out that way.
1291
01:18:39,104 --> 01:18:40,320
I mean, three on one?
1292
01:18:40,736 --> 01:18:42,624
That Furcas son of a bitch
is one bold-faced liar.
1293
01:18:42,753 --> 01:18:43,904
Whatever happened to the days
1294
01:18:44,287 --> 01:18:47,711
when you could trust the word
of a sadistic, maniacal panda?
1295
01:18:54,273 --> 01:18:55,872
A penny
for your thoughts.
1296
01:18:57,567 --> 01:18:59,391
I'm just wondering who you are.
1297
01:19:00,416 --> 01:19:01,920
What kind of person you are.
1298
01:19:02,976 --> 01:19:04,704
What it would be like
to make you suffer.
1299
01:19:04,991 --> 01:19:07,776
I mean, I get
that you are a sadistic animal.
1300
01:19:08,031 --> 01:19:10,111
A coward
that kills innocent people.
1301
01:19:10,847 --> 01:19:12,031
Why do you do this?
1302
01:19:12,831 --> 01:19:14,208
Celebrated mediocrity
1303
01:19:14,336 --> 01:19:16,160
has become the opiate
of the masses.
1304
01:19:16,289 --> 01:19:20,480
Fame with no expertise,
nor talent, nor accomplishment.
1305
01:19:20,800 --> 01:19:22,944
It's a sickness
that must be cleansed.
1306
01:19:23,264 --> 01:19:24,351
It's madness.
1307
01:19:24,864 --> 01:19:27,617
You're important
because you married a pop star,
1308
01:19:27,809 --> 01:19:28,991
simple as that.
1309
01:19:29,440 --> 01:19:32,223
So, now, you must become
the product which you so covet
1310
01:19:32,352 --> 01:19:34,016
in that pathetic life
you have chosen.
1311
01:19:34,368 --> 01:19:37,344
I don't buy it.
There's gotta be more to it.
1312
01:19:37,599 --> 01:19:39,840
What, Mommy and Daddy
didn't love you enough?
1313
01:19:40,033 --> 01:19:43,455
You couldn't get a date
to prom? Or is it chemical?
1314
01:19:43,711 --> 01:19:45,344
Fucked up circuits.
1315
01:19:50,945 --> 01:19:52,256
A penny for your thoughts.
1316
01:19:53,473 --> 01:19:56,320
You are indeed entertaining,
Mr. Nordin.
1317
01:19:57,247 --> 01:19:58,784
But see, that's part of it.
1318
01:19:59,553 --> 01:20:00,416
Entertainment.
1319
01:20:01,409 --> 01:20:03,456
See, I'm doing this
because I must.
1320
01:20:03,775 --> 01:20:05,120
Because somebody had to do it.
1321
01:20:05,439 --> 01:20:08,544
I mean, death and torture
happen all over the world
1322
01:20:08,671 --> 01:20:11,009
every single day
to so called innocent people.
1323
01:20:11,424 --> 01:20:13,344
But see, no one really cares
unless it happens
1324
01:20:13,471 --> 01:20:15,360
to a specific group of people,
1325
01:20:15,617 --> 01:20:18,336
of a specific color,
in a specific country.
1326
01:20:18,849 --> 01:20:20,448
So, I bring it to them live,
1327
01:20:20,704 --> 01:20:24,480
unedited, authentic, without
commercial interruption.
1328
01:20:24,704 --> 01:20:25,887
And perhaps
1329
01:20:26,208 --> 01:20:27,807
you're not as innocent
as you thought you were.
1330
01:20:28,001 --> 01:20:30,591
See, it's what you represent
that is the problem.
1331
01:20:30,720 --> 01:20:34,623
This new
Kardashianization of humanity.
1332
01:20:35,009 --> 01:20:36,255
The big decline.
1333
01:20:36,704 --> 01:20:39,999
You are part of a condition
fueled by entertainment.
1334
01:20:40,191 --> 01:20:41,633
News is entertainment,
1335
01:20:41,889 --> 01:20:46,015
politics is entertainment,
war is entertainment,
1336
01:20:46,176 --> 01:20:50,655
and your death, no matter
how insignificant that may be...
1337
01:20:52,353 --> 01:20:53,344
is entertainment.
1338
01:20:53,952 --> 01:20:57,984
Sure, some will weep for you,
others will laugh,
1339
01:20:58,239 --> 01:21:00,737
but make no mistake,
the vast majority of people
1340
01:21:00,864 --> 01:21:04,127
who watch you die
will feel absolutely nothing.
1341
01:21:04,448 --> 01:21:05,984
If you die in this house,
1342
01:21:06,144 --> 01:21:08,256
the people that watch will go
to bed the same at night,
1343
01:21:08,448 --> 01:21:10,815
wake up the next morning,
and go about their lives
1344
01:21:10,944 --> 01:21:12,895
like you never even existed
at all.
1345
01:21:13,152 --> 01:21:16,289
And then they'll find
the next new, shiny object.
1346
01:21:16,416 --> 01:21:17,727
That is entertainment.
1347
01:21:17,888 --> 01:21:21,216
In the end,
we are all just animals, Kasper,
1348
01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:25,375
primitive and self-serving
until that very end comes.
1349
01:21:26,624 --> 01:21:28,640
So, all that garbage
you just spouted,
1350
01:21:28,769 --> 01:21:31,616
makes you, what, our judge,
jury, and executioner?
1351
01:21:32,000 --> 01:21:33,312
It justifies murder?
1352
01:21:34,177 --> 01:21:35,840
Oh, human beings love murder.
1353
01:21:36,128 --> 01:21:38,433
We love violence.
We love death.
1354
01:21:38,591 --> 01:21:40,511
On television in this country,
1355
01:21:40,704 --> 01:21:42,655
a woman's breasts
are more censored
1356
01:21:42,817 --> 01:21:43,808
than a slit throat,
1357
01:21:44,160 --> 01:21:47,231
the word fuck
more than a severed head.
1358
01:21:47,487 --> 01:21:50,144
And look no further
than any comment thread
1359
01:21:50,271 --> 01:21:51,744
of any social media platform
1360
01:21:51,936 --> 01:21:54,401
to see how quickly
a harmless debate
1361
01:21:54,528 --> 01:21:57,600
can devolve into aggression,
violence, and hate.
1362
01:21:58,208 --> 01:22:00,097
What I'm saying is, Mr. Nordin,
1363
01:22:00,320 --> 01:22:03,489
that same instinct lies
in both you and in I.
1364
01:22:04,097 --> 01:22:06,240
Except I choose to embrace it.
1365
01:22:07,040 --> 01:22:10,495
I hate to tell you this...
but that thing
1366
01:22:10,817 --> 01:22:16,159
that lives in you... has never,
and will never live in us.
1367
01:22:17,087 --> 01:22:18,944
Oh, I'm betting that it does...
1368
01:22:19,999 --> 01:22:23,072
and that it will reveal itself
very, very soon.
1369
01:22:28,001 --> 01:22:31,264
Well, don't I feel like
the third wheel here.
1370
01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:33,696
How about I give you two
some privacy?
1371
01:22:34,113 --> 01:22:35,199
Good talk.
1372
01:22:38,976 --> 01:22:40,224
Look, I, um...
1373
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:43,200
I'm glad you're here.
1374
01:22:44,640 --> 01:22:45,791
Oh, no. That...
1375
01:22:46,464 --> 01:22:47,679
Here, just...
1376
01:22:48,671 --> 01:22:52,639
I just mean, I'm glad
I got the chance to know you...
1377
01:22:53,824 --> 01:22:55,551
even if it was in here.
1378
01:22:57,375 --> 01:22:58,464
Me, too.
1379
01:23:00,896 --> 01:23:03,104
Sure wish it could have been
someplace else, though,
1380
01:23:03,231 --> 01:23:04,929
like a grocery store.
1381
01:23:48,672 --> 01:23:50,016
Hmm. Okay.
1382
01:24:04,479 --> 01:24:09,984
♪ You're nobody
You're nobody... ♪
1383
01:24:16,991 --> 01:24:18,368
Oh.
1384
01:25:13,536 --> 01:25:16,704
And then there were three.
You've come so far...
1385
01:25:16,896 --> 01:25:19,423
Save your breath, asshole.
Just get on with it.
1386
01:25:19,808 --> 01:25:22,592
Well, someone certainly woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
1387
01:25:22,721 --> 01:25:24,352
Mind you, a bed that
wasn't used
1388
01:25:24,480 --> 01:25:26,143
for much sleeping last night,
1389
01:25:26,272 --> 01:25:27,999
but I digress.
1390
01:25:28,159 --> 01:25:29,793
So, at the behest of Kasper,
1391
01:25:29,951 --> 01:25:32,480
without further ado,
let's find out who.
1392
01:25:39,296 --> 01:25:41,535
And again,
it's Kasper Nordin by a nose,
1393
01:25:41,664 --> 01:25:43,072
followed closely by Lonni.
1394
01:25:43,264 --> 01:25:45,728
It appears,
last night's erotic escapade
1395
01:25:45,856 --> 01:25:48,960
may have paid off,
star-crossed lovers.
1396
01:25:49,728 --> 01:25:53,023
And then we have Cat,
the quiet queen of cute.
1397
01:25:53,441 --> 01:25:55,903
Looks like that routine
has finally worn thin,
1398
01:25:56,224 --> 01:25:59,201
so, let's just see
what your challenge shall be.
1399
01:25:59,872 --> 01:26:01,280
Chess Master.
1400
01:26:01,920 --> 01:26:05,088
This should be right
up your alley, Cat.
1401
01:26:26,496 --> 01:26:28,960
Found it. Grady, Oklahoma.
1402
01:26:31,968 --> 01:26:34,784
Welcome
to the Chess Master challenge.
1403
01:26:35,168 --> 01:26:36,608
If you are victorious,
1404
01:26:36,736 --> 01:26:39,136
you will receive a free pass
to the next round.
1405
01:26:39,328 --> 01:26:43,328
But if I win, you must spin.
Any questions?
1406
01:26:44,992 --> 01:26:46,496
Then ladies first.
1407
01:27:01,408 --> 01:27:05,568
Ah, Grunfeld.
Very interesting. Not bad,
1408
01:27:05,760 --> 01:27:08,352
but not very original
for a grand master.
1409
01:27:08,640 --> 01:27:10,784
Knight to king's bishop three.
1410
01:27:21,248 --> 01:27:23,328
Pawn to king's knight three.
1411
01:27:30,176 --> 01:27:31,936
Bishop to king three.
1412
01:27:42,560 --> 01:27:43,840
Impressive.
1413
01:27:51,360 --> 01:27:53,632
Bishop to queen's bishop five.
1414
01:27:57,216 --> 01:27:58,112
Check.
1415
01:28:00,032 --> 01:28:02,240
Knight to king six.
1416
01:28:03,392 --> 01:28:04,255
Check.
1417
01:28:09,440 --> 01:28:11,680
Knight to queen's bishop six.
1418
01:28:14,207 --> 01:28:15,264
Check.
1419
01:28:19,615 --> 01:28:22,880
Rook to queen's bishop six.
1420
01:28:23,616 --> 01:28:24,736
Checkmate.
1421
01:28:34,975 --> 01:28:38,336
Well played.
1422
01:28:38,720 --> 01:28:42,752
Clearly, you were influenced
by Byrne versus Fischer 1956.
1423
01:28:42,880 --> 01:28:44,160
Game of the century.
1424
01:28:44,416 --> 01:28:47,136
You are truly formidable.
I mean that sincerely.
1425
01:28:47,392 --> 01:28:51,616
But still you did not win,
so, you must spin.
1426
01:29:22,080 --> 01:29:25,728
Ladies and gentlemen,
Cat Zim has passed the buck.
1427
01:29:26,017 --> 01:29:29,889
Another Funhouse first.This means a new challenge
1428
01:29:30,016 --> 01:29:32,384
will be passed
onto Lonni Byrne.
1429
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:40,159
Get out of my way. It's over.
Get out of my way!
1430
01:29:40,288 --> 01:29:43,232
- Let me take her place.
- That's not how this works.
1431
01:29:43,616 --> 01:29:44,672
Please, just let me
take her place.
1432
01:29:44,928 --> 01:29:46,816
A valiant gesture, Mr. Nordin,
1433
01:29:47,008 --> 01:29:50,240
- but there are in fact rules.
- You make the rules!
1434
01:29:50,560 --> 01:29:51,712
What do you fucking care?
1435
01:29:51,840 --> 01:29:54,303
Please, just let me do
the challenge.
1436
01:29:54,464 --> 01:29:55,360
You are indeed
1437
01:29:55,519 --> 01:29:58,528
a pestilent little fuck,
Kasper Nordin.
1438
01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:02,368
But seeing as I do love
a good Harlequin romance,
1439
01:30:02,529 --> 01:30:06,112
and this situation definitely
has all of the trappings of one,
1440
01:30:06,272 --> 01:30:08,289
albeit dripping with cheese,
1441
01:30:08,832 --> 01:30:11,616
still I will allow you
to take her place.
1442
01:30:11,968 --> 01:30:14,848
No, no, no.
No, you can't do this.
1443
01:30:14,976 --> 01:30:18,688
- No, you're not doing this. No!
- It's okay. It's okay. Shh.
1444
01:30:19,200 --> 01:30:20,512
It's okay.
1445
01:30:49,440 --> 01:30:53,888
Kasper Nordin, let's just see
what your challenge will be.
1446
01:30:55,391 --> 01:30:57,632
Pistols At Dawn! How exciting.
1447
01:30:57,856 --> 01:31:01,632
But who will you face?
I know, Lonni Byrne!
1448
01:31:03,232 --> 01:31:08,673
What? No, no, no. Fuck you!
We had a deal! We had a deal!
1449
01:31:08,864 --> 01:31:10,016
I told you
1450
01:31:10,432 --> 01:31:12,192
there would be no heroes here,
and there certainly
1451
01:31:12,319 --> 01:31:16,000
would be no martyrs. Like
you said, I make the rules!
1452
01:31:16,544 --> 01:31:18,943
If you had just kept
your filthy trap shut, Kasper,
1453
01:31:19,072 --> 01:31:20,800
we wouldn't be in this
position, would we?
1454
01:31:21,055 --> 01:31:23,776
Now,
you will each receive a pistol.
1455
01:31:24,065 --> 01:31:28,096
Stand back-to-back.
On my count, take ten paces,
1456
01:31:28,224 --> 01:31:29,761
turn, and fire.
1457
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:32,416
If you fail to participate,
or if you refuse to fire,
1458
01:31:32,544 --> 01:31:34,912
you'll each have to face
the wheel.
1459
01:31:35,936 --> 01:31:38,912
Take your pistols
and positions, please.
1460
01:31:42,305 --> 01:31:43,616
Or...
1461
01:31:43,840 --> 01:31:45,504
...if you prefer,
we could always put Lonni
1462
01:31:45,663 --> 01:31:46,848
in the Brazen Bull,
1463
01:31:47,009 --> 01:31:49,311
cook her alive,
and then force feed-her to you
1464
01:31:49,440 --> 01:31:51,583
for dinner. Totally your call.
1465
01:31:57,024 --> 01:31:58,368
It's okay.
1466
01:31:58,529 --> 01:31:59,392
It's okay.
1467
01:32:14,913 --> 01:32:19,263
Goodnight, goodnight.
Parting is such sweet sorrow,
1468
01:32:19,488 --> 01:32:22,272
so, I shall say goodnight
till it be morrow.
1469
01:32:22,432 --> 01:32:24,352
On my count. One...
1470
01:32:25,600 --> 01:32:26,687
- Two.
- ...two...
1471
01:32:27,744 --> 01:32:28,832
three...
1472
01:32:30,048 --> 01:32:31,105
four...
1473
01:32:32,447 --> 01:32:33,567
five...
1474
01:32:34,720 --> 01:32:35,616
six...
1475
01:32:36,768 --> 01:32:37,632
seven...
1476
01:32:38,945 --> 01:32:40,000
eight...
1477
01:32:40,800 --> 01:32:42,080
nine...
1478
01:32:43,904 --> 01:32:44,991
ten.
1479
01:33:00,065 --> 01:33:01,663
Get back! We've got a Bomb!
1480
01:33:01,793 --> 01:33:02,688
Get the Bomb Squad!
1481
01:33:38,433 --> 01:33:39,807
We have a winner!
1482
01:33:41,023 --> 01:33:42,400
Cat Zim!
1483
01:34:36,672 --> 01:34:39,456
Well, it's all over
but the proverbial crying,
1484
01:34:39,583 --> 01:34:41,537
culminating
in a Shakespearean tragedy
1485
01:34:41,664 --> 01:34:42,785
for the ages.
1486
01:34:43,104 --> 01:34:44,673
Personally, I think
Kasper and Lonni,
1487
01:34:44,800 --> 01:34:46,656
should have turned their guns
on those dirty pandas
1488
01:34:46,784 --> 01:34:48,960
and shot their way out
Butch and Sundance style,
1489
01:34:49,152 --> 01:34:51,615
made their way down to Vegas
and gotten married.
1490
01:34:52,097 --> 01:34:55,040
But then again,
those pandas had machine guns.
1491
01:34:55,776 --> 01:34:57,344
And then the one
who doesn't even speak
1492
01:34:57,567 --> 01:35:01,151
wins the whole thing?I guess, less truly is more.
1493
01:35:01,920 --> 01:35:03,135
Or maybe
it was the masturbating.
1494
01:35:03,264 --> 01:35:04,287
Who knows?
1495
01:35:04,800 --> 01:35:06,528
Pete Sake, out.
1496
01:35:20,289 --> 01:35:21,631
Cat Zim,
the lone survivor
1497
01:35:21,760 --> 01:35:23,199
of the horrific reality series,
1498
01:35:23,327 --> 01:35:24,543
Funhouse,
was found this morning
1499
01:35:24,672 --> 01:35:26,271
by a motorist
on the remote road
1500
01:35:26,527 --> 01:35:29,280
near the town of Florence,
on the Oregon coast.
1501
01:35:38,047 --> 01:35:39,393
The grisly discovery
1502
01:35:39,519 --> 01:35:40,831
was made by the FBI SWAT team
1503
01:35:40,960 --> 01:35:42,624
who raided the compound.
The device,
1504
01:35:42,751 --> 01:35:44,800
which was initially believed
to be a bomb,
1505
01:35:44,928 --> 01:35:47,136
was later found
to be a decoy server,
1506
01:35:47,264 --> 01:35:48,607
planted by the culprits
1507
01:35:48,737 --> 01:35:50,463
to divert authorities
from their trail.
1508
01:35:50,720 --> 01:35:52,673
As of now,
there are still no suspects
1509
01:35:52,800 --> 01:35:53,856
in the case.
1510
01:35:54,271 --> 01:35:55,744
Welcome backto the Chuck Thorn Show.
1511
01:35:55,904 --> 01:35:58,656
I've been speaking with
tech titan, Nero Alexander,
1512
01:35:58,784 --> 01:36:00,320
owner of over 70 companies,
1513
01:36:00,449 --> 01:36:03,680
ranging from construction,
to biofuels, pharmaceuticals,
1514
01:36:03,903 --> 01:36:06,017
AI, and now,
even nanotechnology.
1515
01:36:06,336 --> 01:36:09,504
Nero, now, you've accomplished
what so few entrepreneurs have.
1516
01:36:09,631 --> 01:36:10,817
You've built an empire
1517
01:36:10,944 --> 01:36:12,511
with literally no help
from anyone.
1518
01:36:12,673 --> 01:36:15,167
You didn't inherit any wealth,
whatsoever. And at one point,
1519
01:36:15,295 --> 01:36:17,633
you were the youngest
self-made billionaire,
1520
01:36:17,793 --> 01:36:19,809
that's with a B, on the planet.
1521
01:36:20,191 --> 01:36:23,904
I'm semi-retired now.
I'm trying to have more fun.
1522
01:36:24,480 --> 01:36:25,951
So, to all the budding
entrepreneurs
1523
01:36:26,081 --> 01:36:27,967
out there that look up to you
as an example
1524
01:36:28,097 --> 01:36:30,399
of what's possible,
what do you say to them?
1525
01:36:30,881 --> 01:36:32,897
I just feel the majority
of the youth today
1526
01:36:33,089 --> 01:36:36,159
want something for nothing.
They want fame and fortune
1527
01:36:36,320 --> 01:36:38,016
for really doing
as little as possible.
1528
01:36:38,561 --> 01:36:41,024
It's the scientist
who's the role model,
1529
01:36:41,247 --> 01:36:43,871
the physicist, the engineer,
the inventor.
1530
01:36:44,448 --> 01:36:46,176
Not someone
whose only contribution
1531
01:36:46,304 --> 01:36:50,624
to humanity is a sex tape,
or a reality TV show,
1532
01:36:51,072 --> 01:36:53,376
or millions
of social media followers.
1533
01:36:53,504 --> 01:36:56,768
I mean, it's madness.
1534
01:36:58,113 --> 01:36:59,551
So, I guess, I would say,
1535
01:36:59,808 --> 01:37:02,816
do something that contributes
to society.
1536
01:37:03,617 --> 01:37:04,673
I know I have.
1537
01:37:42,559 --> 01:37:43,808
Cat Zim.
1538
01:37:46,144 --> 01:37:49,697
Why, you are indeed
full of surprises, aren't you?
1539
01:38:07,104 --> 01:38:09,696
Did you have fun?
1540
01:38:10,848 --> 01:38:13,215
Yes.
1541
01:38:14,207 --> 01:38:15,360
But next time...
1542
01:38:16,384 --> 01:38:20,160
I'm not letting you win
at chess.
1543
01:38:34,777 --> 01:38:39,573
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
1544
01:38:42,015 --> 01:38:44,224
♪ How many votes
Is one life worth ♪
1545
01:38:44,513 --> 01:38:46,719
♪ Before you rest
Into the earth ♪
1546
01:38:46,911 --> 01:38:49,121
♪ Pain is all you ever see ♪
1547
01:38:49,248 --> 01:38:51,584
♪ Hate will let
The one will leave ♪
1548
01:38:51,807 --> 01:38:53,824
♪ How many likes for a life? ♪
1549
01:38:54,017 --> 01:38:56,351
♪ Decency is under the knife ♪
1550
01:38:56,704 --> 01:38:58,848
♪ All media is social now ♪
1551
01:38:59,264 --> 01:39:01,215
♪ A multi-media pile drive ♪
1552
01:39:01,472 --> 01:39:05,696
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1553
01:39:20,801 --> 01:39:22,848
♪ Beyond the door
The killer awaits ♪
1554
01:39:23,040 --> 01:39:27,617
♪ Spin the wheel, seal you fate
Miss the rack, best of luck ♪
1555
01:39:27,744 --> 01:39:30,401
♪ Pray to God
You pass the buck ♪
1556
01:39:30,528 --> 01:39:32,799
♪ Ignorance has swept
the nation ♪
1557
01:39:32,991 --> 01:39:35,232
♪ Closer to annihilation ♪
1558
01:39:35,360 --> 01:39:40,001
♪ A remedy is on the line,
Welcome to the bigger crime ♪
1559
01:39:40,353 --> 01:39:44,640
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1560
01:40:38,400 --> 01:40:42,911
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1561
01:40:57,696 --> 01:41:02,336
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1562
01:41:21,920 --> 01:41:26,432
♪ Let's go to the Funhouse! ♪
1563
01:41:29,248 --> 01:41:31,424
Yes, Gary speaking.
1564
01:41:32,416 --> 01:41:36,671
Nevin? No, he's on some show,
Funhouse something.
1565
01:41:37,473 --> 01:41:38,687
What?
1566
01:41:38,912 --> 01:41:40,575
He's dead?
1567
01:41:41,439 --> 01:41:42,912
Human piñata?
1568
01:41:43,680 --> 01:41:44,832
That's fucked up.
1569
01:41:47,231 --> 01:41:49,536
Uh, did we still get the 100K?
1570
01:41:52,448 --> 01:41:55,488
Fuck me.
Can I have another Mai Tai?
122604
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