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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,734 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:04,814 --> 00:00:07,482 We've all heard of the G-spot. 3 00:00:07,516 --> 00:00:10,585 But on today's episode of Mastering Her Mysteries, 4 00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:14,991 we take you on a search for the elusive A-spot. 5 00:00:15,024 --> 00:00:17,626 The A-spot is located about two inches 6 00:00:17,659 --> 00:00:20,930 deeper in the vagina than the G-spot. 7 00:00:20,963 --> 00:00:24,701 The best way to find it is to reach in with two fingers 8 00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:27,937 and move them in kind of a windshield wiper motion 9 00:00:27,970 --> 00:00:29,906 instead of in and out. 10 00:01:24,060 --> 00:01:25,427 Dad? 11 00:01:27,596 --> 00:01:29,031 What are you listening to? 12 00:01:30,867 --> 00:01:32,034 Hockey game. 13 00:01:32,068 --> 00:01:33,770 Uh-huh. 14 00:01:33,803 --> 00:01:35,972 Yeah, that smell is coming from Danny's room, again. 15 00:01:36,005 --> 00:01:37,672 I will deal with it. 16 00:01:37,707 --> 00:01:40,076 He's really taking advantage of you, you know? 17 00:01:43,913 --> 00:01:45,547 Who are you talking to? 18 00:01:45,580 --> 00:01:46,783 No one. 19 00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:49,919 Dad, you have children, remember? 20 00:01:49,952 --> 00:01:52,354 I will be there in a second. 21 00:01:55,792 --> 00:01:57,659 - Dad! - Okay. 22 00:02:04,533 --> 00:02:06,002 Goddammit, Danny. 23 00:02:06,035 --> 00:02:08,603 - What did we say about this? - I forget. 24 00:02:08,637 --> 00:02:10,807 Did you even read the article I sent you? 25 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,340 Remind me? 26 00:02:12,374 --> 00:02:14,543 About pot and its negative effect 27 00:02:14,576 --> 00:02:17,079 on the frontal lobe of the adolescent male brain. 28 00:02:17,113 --> 00:02:19,949 Oh, that one. Yes, thanks. 29 00:02:19,982 --> 00:02:21,751 It was super compelling. 30 00:02:21,784 --> 00:02:24,386 You cannot smoke pot in this house, it's illegal. 31 00:02:24,419 --> 00:02:27,522 The laws are in a constant state of flux. 32 00:02:27,556 --> 00:02:29,058 It's very confusing. 33 00:02:29,091 --> 00:02:32,128 He's also flirting with my friends. 34 00:02:32,161 --> 00:02:33,896 I'm sorry, but you have lost 35 00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:35,564 all moral authority to judge me. 36 00:02:35,597 --> 00:02:36,766 I'm your father. 37 00:02:36,799 --> 00:02:38,500 In name only. 38 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:41,403 Dad, are you gonna stand for that? 39 00:02:41,436 --> 00:02:44,807 Don't worry, I'm handling it. 40 00:02:52,982 --> 00:02:54,549 Ahh! 41 00:02:55,117 --> 00:02:56,651 Yo... 42 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,447 I'll be back. 43 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:26,682 Where are you going? 44 00:03:26,716 --> 00:03:27,817 To talk to your mother. 45 00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:28,951 Oh, can you take me? 46 00:03:28,985 --> 00:03:30,820 No, it's my night. 47 00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:43,966 Shit. 48 00:03:55,011 --> 00:03:56,879 Finally, ready to move back in? 49 00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:59,414 Danny's smoking a lot of pot, again. 50 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,517 Really strong pot. 51 00:04:03,219 --> 00:04:05,187 Well, you ruined his life, what do you expect? 52 00:04:06,554 --> 00:04:07,924 How is this my fault? 53 00:04:07,957 --> 00:04:09,692 You abandoned the family. 54 00:04:09,725 --> 00:04:11,227 You need to man up and come back. 55 00:04:11,260 --> 00:04:12,828 A child needs two parents. 56 00:04:12,862 --> 00:04:14,529 He has two parents. 57 00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:16,933 Under the same roof. 58 00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,701 Our relationship is over, Deborah. 59 00:04:18,734 --> 00:04:20,502 Our son is taking massive quantities 60 00:04:20,535 --> 00:04:22,504 of drugs and we need to deal with this together. 61 00:04:23,605 --> 00:04:25,573 This is a very stressful situation. 62 00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:28,177 Why don't you come inside and we will discuss it. 63 00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:29,611 We're divorced. It's over. 64 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,013 Let's work on it 65 00:04:31,047 --> 00:04:32,514 for the sake of the children... 66 00:04:32,547 --> 00:04:34,083 No. Don't try and manipulate me 67 00:04:34,116 --> 00:04:35,517 after what you did. 68 00:04:35,550 --> 00:04:36,953 After what I did? 69 00:04:36,986 --> 00:04:38,620 When a 20 year old texts her teacher 70 00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,256 that she's dreaming about his penis, 71 00:04:40,289 --> 00:04:42,959 the proper response is not the wide eyed emoji. 72 00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:47,229 I made a mistake. Don't you think I beat myself up about that every day? 73 00:04:47,263 --> 00:04:49,932 I wanted to teach you a lesson. You needed to grow up. 74 00:04:49,966 --> 00:04:51,834 You didn't have to go to the administration 75 00:04:51,867 --> 00:04:54,236 and get me fired. Who does that to their husband? 76 00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:56,739 You're okay. You got a new job. 77 00:04:56,772 --> 00:04:58,874 Yeah. And where is that job? 78 00:05:03,245 --> 00:05:04,847 Hm. 79 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,816 Huh. 80 00:05:30,806 --> 00:05:32,607 We are so blessed to be able 81 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,777 to find a real movie teacher to come here 82 00:05:34,810 --> 00:05:37,079 and a bona fide Christian one, too. 83 00:05:37,113 --> 00:05:39,248 Thanks for taking a chance on me, Provost Rawlings. 84 00:05:39,281 --> 00:05:40,850 We believe in second chances, don't we? 85 00:05:42,584 --> 00:05:44,720 But the fact is, 86 00:05:44,754 --> 00:05:46,288 the college is having enrollment problems 87 00:05:46,322 --> 00:05:48,958 and we're counting on you to save us. 88 00:05:48,991 --> 00:05:50,658 - Great. - Yeah. 89 00:05:50,693 --> 00:05:52,294 The Chronicle of Christian Colleges 90 00:05:52,328 --> 00:05:54,764 says students really like watching movies 91 00:05:54,797 --> 00:05:56,332 and you get 40% more students 92 00:05:56,365 --> 00:05:58,701 if you start a movie program. 93 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:01,237 We call it a film program, actually. 94 00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:03,638 I don't care what you call it, cupcake, 95 00:06:03,671 --> 00:06:05,708 just hit that 40%. 96 00:06:09,111 --> 00:06:13,015 Everybody, I want to introduce Professor Goldman. 97 00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,585 He's going to be our new movie teacher. 98 00:06:18,020 --> 00:06:19,855 Film teacher. 99 00:06:20,222 --> 00:06:22,124 Praise Jesus, guys. 100 00:06:48,050 --> 00:06:50,686 - Lisa. - Charlie. 101 00:06:50,719 --> 00:06:53,155 - Hey. - Hi. 102 00:06:53,189 --> 00:06:55,124 You're Lisa Harper. 103 00:06:55,157 --> 00:06:56,992 You're a famous artist. 104 00:06:58,127 --> 00:07:00,896 There's no such thing as a famous artist 105 00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:02,798 in Columbus, Ohio, Charlie but... 106 00:07:02,832 --> 00:07:05,134 I was at your show opening last year. 107 00:07:11,207 --> 00:07:12,875 I remember. 108 00:07:15,277 --> 00:07:18,747 I just want to be clear with you right from the start: 109 00:07:18,781 --> 00:07:20,816 I meant what I said in my profile. 110 00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:23,919 I am really just playing the field right now. 111 00:07:23,953 --> 00:07:26,088 I'm not interested in monogamy 112 00:07:26,122 --> 00:07:29,358 - or a relationship... - No, neither am I. 113 00:07:29,391 --> 00:07:32,695 I mean, we're grown ups with kids and responsibilities. 114 00:07:32,728 --> 00:07:35,663 The last thing I want is a serious commitment. 115 00:07:49,044 --> 00:07:50,679 Oh yeah. 116 00:07:53,415 --> 00:07:54,783 Yes. 117 00:07:57,453 --> 00:07:59,321 You said you had two kids, right? 118 00:07:59,355 --> 00:08:01,257 Mm-hm. 119 00:08:01,290 --> 00:08:06,362 Maddie is 18 and Courtney is 15. 120 00:08:06,962 --> 00:08:08,663 Where's their dad? 121 00:08:10,266 --> 00:08:12,234 He um, he moved to Europe. 122 00:08:13,269 --> 00:08:16,005 A long time ago. We don't see him. 123 00:08:17,106 --> 00:08:19,241 Sorry. That's awful. 124 00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:22,044 No, don't feel sorry for us. 125 00:08:35,925 --> 00:08:39,094 Oh. Okay. 126 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:43,032 Mm. Mm. 127 00:08:43,532 --> 00:08:45,768 Have you heard of the A-spot? 128 00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:49,238 Uh, I think you mean the G-spot? 129 00:08:49,271 --> 00:08:52,808 This is the G-spot's sexy next door neighbor. 130 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:56,879 Um, oh. Mm. 131 00:08:56,912 --> 00:08:59,448 I think what you're going for 132 00:08:59,481 --> 00:09:01,884 might be a little bit if you would just um... 133 00:09:05,054 --> 00:09:07,423 Oh, bold. 134 00:09:14,196 --> 00:09:15,965 Slower. 135 00:09:17,833 --> 00:09:19,301 Harder. 136 00:09:19,969 --> 00:09:21,337 Deeper. 137 00:09:22,871 --> 00:09:24,406 Smarter. 138 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,176 Faster now. 139 00:09:27,977 --> 00:09:29,144 Yeah, that's it. 140 00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:30,879 Faster now. 141 00:09:30,913 --> 00:09:34,216 Faster, faster. 142 00:09:35,184 --> 00:09:37,386 Slower now, slower. 143 00:09:40,322 --> 00:09:43,325 Wow! Oh, my God! 144 00:09:43,359 --> 00:09:45,027 Wow! 145 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:50,966 Oh, wow, oh. 146 00:09:53,168 --> 00:09:54,837 Woah. 147 00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:56,138 Mm. 148 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,275 Can I see you later? 149 00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:02,478 Oh, I um, have a rule never 150 00:10:02,511 --> 00:10:04,580 to see the same person twice in a week. 151 00:10:04,613 --> 00:10:06,315 Oh right. You said that. 152 00:10:06,348 --> 00:10:08,484 - You don't want to get... - Get attached. Yeah. 153 00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:11,020 But uh, I had a great time. 154 00:10:11,053 --> 00:10:15,357 So did I. So maybe next week? 155 00:10:15,391 --> 00:10:16,925 Yeah. 156 00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:21,063 Well. In fact, today's Saturday, 157 00:10:21,096 --> 00:10:23,232 so next week starts tomorrow. 158 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,335 Mm, alright, so maybe... 159 00:10:26,368 --> 00:10:28,003 Thursday. Hmm? 160 00:10:28,037 --> 00:10:30,072 Mm. I was actually thinking 161 00:10:30,105 --> 00:10:32,107 tomorrow's Sunday but if we go on a date tonight, 162 00:10:32,141 --> 00:10:34,009 it'll already be next week by the time we're done. 163 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:37,613 Okay. 164 00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:45,587 So uh, I met someone I really like. 165 00:10:45,621 --> 00:10:47,423 You, the Tinder Queen? 166 00:10:47,456 --> 00:10:50,059 Hey, stop your yapping. 167 00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:53,028 I'm trying to concentrate! 168 00:10:53,062 --> 00:10:55,964 Sorry, Dr. Fun. 169 00:11:25,294 --> 00:11:27,329 Take that, my little squeaky toys. 170 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:34,370 Having fun, yet, Dr. Fun? 171 00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:43,078 Take that. 172 00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:57,092 Mom, we had this last night. 173 00:11:57,459 --> 00:11:58,961 And the night before. 174 00:11:59,495 --> 00:12:01,130 She's still hungry. 175 00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:07,236 Sorry. 176 00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:09,104 They are still hungry. 177 00:12:09,138 --> 00:12:11,306 She's fine. Look how happy she is. 178 00:12:11,340 --> 00:12:13,442 Ah! 179 00:12:13,475 --> 00:12:15,511 They're fine. Look how happy they are. 180 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:31,694 Where's Anna? 181 00:12:31,728 --> 00:12:33,996 She said she's not coming. 182 00:12:34,029 --> 00:12:35,631 This is my night. 183 00:12:35,664 --> 00:12:37,433 The judge gave me Wednesday and Thursday. 184 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,635 Don't worry, she'll come around. 185 00:12:40,436 --> 00:12:42,137 You think? 186 00:12:42,171 --> 00:12:43,472 Maybe when she's 30. 187 00:12:57,419 --> 00:12:59,021 What's up, baby? 188 00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:00,155 You seem a little distracted. 189 00:13:00,189 --> 00:13:01,490 Uh. 190 00:13:01,523 --> 00:13:04,761 I'm just feeling a tad guilty. 191 00:13:04,794 --> 00:13:08,564 Guilty? What do you have to feel guilty about? 192 00:13:08,597 --> 00:13:11,099 I have a list just, you know, 193 00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:13,001 so I could keep track. 194 00:13:13,035 --> 00:13:14,169 Mm. 195 00:13:16,038 --> 00:13:17,105 Do you want to hear it? 196 00:13:18,106 --> 00:13:19,208 Okay. 197 00:13:20,042 --> 00:13:21,510 Breaking up my family. 198 00:13:21,543 --> 00:13:23,278 - Mm-hm. - Forcing my kids to move 199 00:13:23,312 --> 00:13:25,314 - from one house to another. - Mm-hm. 200 00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:27,616 Pretending to be an evangelical Christian professor. 201 00:13:27,649 --> 00:13:28,718 Mm-hm. 202 00:13:30,486 --> 00:13:32,020 - Puppy Mills. - Mm. 203 00:13:32,755 --> 00:13:35,224 Uh, buying organic milk 204 00:13:35,257 --> 00:13:37,694 or not buying organic milk. 205 00:13:37,727 --> 00:13:39,361 Radiation from the cell phone tow... 206 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,098 It's dissipating. 207 00:13:43,131 --> 00:13:45,067 My guilt is dissipating. 208 00:13:46,134 --> 00:13:47,202 Mm. 209 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,072 Puppy Mills. 210 00:13:50,105 --> 00:13:52,174 You um, you said that one already. 211 00:13:55,244 --> 00:14:00,082 Hey, um, do I have your consent to blow your mind? 212 00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:01,550 Uh, consent. 213 00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:04,019 Sure. 214 00:14:06,088 --> 00:14:08,123 Oh! Fuck! 215 00:14:11,326 --> 00:14:14,096 I'm sorry, baby, did I hurt you? 216 00:14:14,129 --> 00:14:16,632 Uh... No. 217 00:14:16,665 --> 00:14:19,067 Well, yeah, actually. 218 00:14:19,635 --> 00:14:22,170 - I thought you deserved it. - Oh. 219 00:14:23,472 --> 00:14:24,741 Ooh... 220 00:14:24,774 --> 00:14:26,608 It wasn't half bad. 221 00:14:26,642 --> 00:14:27,710 Mm-hm. 222 00:14:28,845 --> 00:14:31,346 Hey, pull my hair. 223 00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:33,148 Oh, mm... 224 00:14:33,181 --> 00:14:35,250 - Pull my hair. - Mm. 225 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,122 Harder. 226 00:14:40,155 --> 00:14:43,292 I can't. I'm a feminist! 227 00:14:44,526 --> 00:14:46,228 Baby, I'm a feminist 228 00:14:46,261 --> 00:14:48,497 and that means I get to decide. 229 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:50,332 Now pull my hair. 230 00:14:54,737 --> 00:14:56,438 Yeah. Um... Okay. 231 00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:59,374 Spank me. 232 00:14:59,408 --> 00:15:01,443 I know you can do it. 233 00:15:01,476 --> 00:15:02,779 Come on. 234 00:15:02,812 --> 00:15:04,881 Who's my daddy? You're my daddy. 235 00:15:04,914 --> 00:15:06,883 No. Don't. That's... 236 00:15:06,916 --> 00:15:08,685 That like triggers my parental instincts. 237 00:15:08,718 --> 00:15:10,252 I... Don't do that, don't st... 238 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,821 No! This isn't parental punishment. 239 00:15:11,854 --> 00:15:13,622 This is sexy punishment. 240 00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:14,791 Mm. 241 00:15:21,698 --> 00:15:23,632 I can't... I keep thinking 242 00:15:23,665 --> 00:15:26,168 about Danny when he was five and I spanked him 243 00:15:26,201 --> 00:15:28,203 and I still feel badly about it. 244 00:15:28,236 --> 00:15:30,840 No guilt. We got rid of the guilt, remember? 245 00:15:30,873 --> 00:15:32,709 Yeah, but it's back. 246 00:15:32,742 --> 00:15:34,343 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Lisa. 247 00:15:34,376 --> 00:15:36,612 Really. I really am. 248 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:37,714 It's okay, baby. 249 00:15:37,747 --> 00:15:38,848 We'll try again soon. 250 00:15:39,949 --> 00:15:42,217 I know, it's important to you. 251 00:15:43,418 --> 00:15:44,754 I'm interested. 252 00:15:48,925 --> 00:15:51,159 Can you send me some articles? 253 00:15:53,295 --> 00:15:55,263 Mm. I'm not sure I can do this. 254 00:15:56,598 --> 00:15:58,768 It's not for everyone. 255 00:16:02,905 --> 00:16:04,841 Tell me what you like about it. 256 00:16:06,743 --> 00:16:10,612 Imagine the most spiritual experience you've ever had. 257 00:16:12,648 --> 00:16:14,684 Have you ever heard of the D-type? 258 00:16:14,717 --> 00:16:16,819 I'm still trying to figure out the A-spot. 259 00:16:16,853 --> 00:16:18,688 No... 260 00:16:18,721 --> 00:16:23,191 The D-type is the dominant type. 261 00:16:23,225 --> 00:16:24,961 The D-type takes control and you 262 00:16:24,994 --> 00:16:27,730 give yourself over to them completely. 263 00:16:27,764 --> 00:16:29,832 For me, it's like when you go running 264 00:16:29,866 --> 00:16:31,566 and you think you can't take another step 265 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,602 but then you go past that. 266 00:16:35,805 --> 00:16:37,974 But why would she want him to put a little 267 00:16:38,007 --> 00:16:40,208 Louisville slugger bat down there? 268 00:16:40,242 --> 00:16:42,779 Mm, that's her kink. 269 00:16:42,812 --> 00:16:44,579 Everybody's different. 270 00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:48,450 I'll think on it. 271 00:16:48,483 --> 00:16:49,686 Mm. 272 00:16:53,923 --> 00:16:56,458 Listen um, Dr. Fun. 273 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,896 I'm going to be leaving the group. 274 00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:04,332 "COKC" is coming up soon. We need you, Lisa. 275 00:17:05,367 --> 00:17:07,335 I know. I'm sorry. 276 00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:10,539 I just don't think he would understand. 277 00:17:12,742 --> 00:17:17,279 Lisa, you've got secrets. We've all got secrets. 278 00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:19,882 But this is a part of you. 279 00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:22,217 You are going to make yourself miserable. 280 00:17:27,056 --> 00:17:29,424 I'll see you around, Dr. Fun. 281 00:17:45,875 --> 00:17:46,943 Ow! 282 00:17:46,976 --> 00:17:48,477 Fuh... 283 00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:23,880 - Hi. - Hi. 284 00:18:23,913 --> 00:18:25,480 Can... Can I help? 285 00:18:25,514 --> 00:18:27,649 Yeah. Uh, hm... 286 00:18:27,683 --> 00:18:29,819 Just kind of... Mm. 287 00:18:29,852 --> 00:18:31,553 I'd go with the larger one. 288 00:18:31,586 --> 00:18:34,389 It's one of our most popular models. 289 00:18:34,422 --> 00:18:36,491 You know, for both your pleasure. 290 00:18:36,525 --> 00:18:39,461 Mm. Okay, then. 291 00:19:13,763 --> 00:19:16,032 This is way too fast and totally crazy 292 00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:21,838 but, your place is tiny and I have all this extra space. 293 00:19:21,871 --> 00:19:24,807 Are you asking me to move in with you? 294 00:19:25,942 --> 00:19:28,077 Totally insane, right? Forget I mentioned it. 295 00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:29,812 Good. 296 00:19:29,846 --> 00:19:31,546 Because I'm from... I'm from a big family. 297 00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,683 I miss that more than anything, but... 298 00:19:33,716 --> 00:19:35,117 These things take time. 299 00:19:35,151 --> 00:19:36,819 Can't just rush into something like this. 300 00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:38,587 Obviously, you can't expect 301 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,990 to be a new family right away. 302 00:19:41,858 --> 00:19:43,860 - Forget it. - Yeah. Agreed. 303 00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:51,968 But neither of us is getting any younger. 304 00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:54,070 No, let's face it. We're old. 305 00:19:57,006 --> 00:19:59,108 And I don't want to miss another day without you. 306 00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:02,544 That's so sweet. 307 00:20:04,512 --> 00:20:06,082 Especially since I really don't know 308 00:20:06,115 --> 00:20:08,150 how much time we have left. 309 00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:11,553 Yeah, you know, let's face it, either of us could drop dead. 310 00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:14,090 - At any time. - I have high cholesterol 311 00:20:14,123 --> 00:20:16,125 and my knees kind of hurt all the time. 312 00:20:16,158 --> 00:20:19,061 The men in my family never live past 55. 313 00:20:19,095 --> 00:20:21,898 I really don't know how to sleep alone. 314 00:20:21,931 --> 00:20:23,632 My lease is month to month. 315 00:20:25,034 --> 00:20:26,635 So is that a yes? 316 00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:30,106 Let's do it. 317 00:20:36,979 --> 00:20:39,015 I don't remember them making four different dinners 318 00:20:39,048 --> 00:20:41,884 on The Brady Bunch. Mm. 319 00:20:42,752 --> 00:20:45,453 Mm! Don't touch that! That's for dinner. 320 00:20:45,487 --> 00:20:47,089 Did you get the article I sent you about using 321 00:20:47,123 --> 00:20:49,759 non-binary gender pronouns for Maddie? 322 00:20:49,792 --> 00:20:52,627 Yes. Thanks. It was very compelling. 323 00:20:53,129 --> 00:20:54,697 I'll summarize. 324 00:20:54,730 --> 00:20:56,866 Maddie does not identify as a he or she. 325 00:20:56,899 --> 00:20:58,734 They use the "They" pronoun. 326 00:21:00,836 --> 00:21:02,138 I don't feel like I was born 327 00:21:02,171 --> 00:21:03,739 with the right pronouns, either. 328 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:09,078 I'd like for you to please refer to me as, "us." 329 00:21:09,812 --> 00:21:11,948 Danny, will us set the table then. 330 00:21:13,548 --> 00:21:16,551 I like it. Sounds kind of British. 331 00:21:16,584 --> 00:21:19,689 Sorry, teacher, us didn't do our homework. 332 00:21:20,189 --> 00:21:23,726 Okay, this dinner is really important to me. 333 00:21:23,759 --> 00:21:25,027 And I'd really appreciate it 334 00:21:25,061 --> 00:21:27,495 if you could be nice to Lisa's kids. 335 00:21:27,529 --> 00:21:29,031 Well, it's not important to me. 336 00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:32,634 My allegiance is to the English language. 337 00:21:41,911 --> 00:21:43,779 How's the veggie burger, Maddie? 338 00:21:43,813 --> 00:21:47,582 It's excellent. Do you have barbecue sauce? 339 00:21:47,615 --> 00:21:50,820 We do. Let me get it for them. 340 00:21:51,787 --> 00:21:53,521 Thank you. 341 00:21:57,026 --> 00:21:59,261 Maddie's a really great violin player. 342 00:21:59,295 --> 00:22:03,065 No, really? They are? 343 00:22:07,336 --> 00:22:09,138 Anna plays ukulele. 344 00:22:13,109 --> 00:22:14,609 It's really cool. 345 00:22:15,778 --> 00:22:18,681 Courtney. You're a Kiss fan. 346 00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:22,218 My first concert ever was the Destroyer Tour. 347 00:22:22,251 --> 00:22:24,020 Jesus, you're old. 348 00:22:25,287 --> 00:22:26,956 Courtney. 349 00:22:26,989 --> 00:22:28,691 Oh, it's uh... It's cool. 350 00:22:28,724 --> 00:22:29,992 I'm old. 351 00:22:35,698 --> 00:22:37,199 I'm sick of meeting all your boyfriends, mom. 352 00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:40,602 Boyfriends. What are you talking about? 353 00:22:42,238 --> 00:22:43,571 I'm a virgin. 354 00:22:44,774 --> 00:22:46,108 Virginity is a construct! 355 00:22:49,211 --> 00:22:50,780 When can we go home? 356 00:22:52,014 --> 00:22:53,082 Uh... 357 00:22:54,083 --> 00:22:58,888 Courtney, this is going to be our new home. 358 00:22:58,921 --> 00:23:00,089 You didn't tell me that. 359 00:23:01,791 --> 00:23:04,326 We just talked about it on the ride here. 360 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,062 I thought you were kidding. 361 00:23:06,095 --> 00:23:07,629 This is insane. 362 00:23:09,098 --> 00:23:11,767 I... I don't want to live here. 363 00:23:11,801 --> 00:23:13,169 Well, we don't want them, either. 364 00:23:13,202 --> 00:23:14,770 That's not true. 365 00:23:14,804 --> 00:23:16,305 Look it, you guys, we're very happy 366 00:23:16,338 --> 00:23:18,040 that you're all moving in. 367 00:23:20,776 --> 00:23:22,044 Right, Anna? 368 00:23:23,712 --> 00:23:25,014 Yeah, I'm super excited. 369 00:23:26,082 --> 00:23:27,615 But I'm mostly at my mom's, 370 00:23:27,649 --> 00:23:29,752 so I'll probably never see you. 371 00:23:29,785 --> 00:23:31,253 Just make sure you stay out of my room 372 00:23:31,287 --> 00:23:33,055 and don't touch my makeup. 373 00:23:33,389 --> 00:23:35,925 All right, that's enough. 374 00:23:37,126 --> 00:23:38,660 Look, I know 375 00:23:38,694 --> 00:23:40,628 this is a little awkward for you guys... 376 00:23:40,662 --> 00:23:42,364 No, what's awkward is hearing you guys 377 00:23:42,398 --> 00:23:44,200 have sex all the time. 378 00:23:44,233 --> 00:23:45,600 Ew. 379 00:23:50,106 --> 00:23:51,907 Alright, Danny, I hear you. 380 00:23:51,941 --> 00:23:54,910 No, the problem is, I hear you. 381 00:23:57,012 --> 00:23:58,147 Dan... 382 00:24:01,784 --> 00:24:04,053 Don't worry, he's a lot nicer when he's stoned. 383 00:24:05,221 --> 00:24:06,956 It was a pleasure meeting you both. 384 00:24:06,989 --> 00:24:08,324 You two. 385 00:24:16,298 --> 00:24:18,267 I'm sorry, guys. 386 00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,002 Don't worry about them. 387 00:24:29,778 --> 00:24:32,381 I am happy for the first time in years. 388 00:24:33,983 --> 00:24:38,320 He's a good guy. Trust me. 389 00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:44,894 Maybe this is just too soon? 390 00:24:44,927 --> 00:24:47,863 No. I can't live without you. 391 00:24:47,897 --> 00:24:49,798 Babe. 392 00:24:49,832 --> 00:24:51,800 Me neither. 393 00:24:51,834 --> 00:24:53,802 I love you. 394 00:24:53,836 --> 00:24:55,271 I love you, too. 395 00:24:58,874 --> 00:25:00,743 Mom... Come on! 396 00:25:00,776 --> 00:25:02,144 Get in the car. 397 00:25:02,178 --> 00:25:04,413 It's locked. 398 00:25:12,888 --> 00:25:13,956 I'll see you tomorrow. 399 00:25:13,989 --> 00:25:15,758 - Kay. - Kay. 400 00:25:17,426 --> 00:25:18,861 Danny. 401 00:25:20,162 --> 00:25:21,363 Danny. 402 00:25:23,265 --> 00:25:24,366 What? 403 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,302 I know things are difficult. 404 00:25:26,335 --> 00:25:29,505 But would it have killed you to be a little nicer? 405 00:25:29,538 --> 00:25:32,074 It would have because I don't approve 406 00:25:32,107 --> 00:25:33,976 of anything that you're doing. 407 00:25:35,144 --> 00:25:38,013 I don't need your approval. I'm the adult. 408 00:25:38,781 --> 00:25:40,816 Well, how about we just agree that you do what 409 00:25:40,849 --> 00:25:43,352 you want and I do what I want? 410 00:25:43,385 --> 00:25:46,388 It doesn't work that way. We're not equals. 411 00:25:48,190 --> 00:25:50,960 You're right. I'm better than you. 412 00:25:59,501 --> 00:26:01,170 Oh, my gosh. 413 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,175 Okay, I'm not gonna... 414 00:26:06,208 --> 00:26:07,509 This is yours. 415 00:26:07,543 --> 00:26:08,844 I can't grab this... 416 00:26:08,877 --> 00:26:10,279 Wait! Wai-Wait! 417 00:26:10,312 --> 00:26:11,847 Wait! Don't cover his face! 418 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:12,948 He can't breathe! 419 00:26:12,982 --> 00:26:14,383 Can I just... 420 00:26:14,416 --> 00:26:16,986 Gently. Gently. 421 00:26:17,019 --> 00:26:18,254 Okay. 422 00:26:18,287 --> 00:26:20,189 What... What is this? 423 00:26:20,222 --> 00:26:21,991 I'm not helping. 424 00:26:34,303 --> 00:26:36,071 Hey, these aren't too heavy. 425 00:26:37,273 --> 00:26:39,174 - Oh. - Okay, this one? 426 00:26:39,208 --> 00:26:40,476 - Oh yeah! - You're amazing, 427 00:26:40,509 --> 00:26:42,077 you're amazing. And I love you. 428 00:26:42,111 --> 00:26:43,579 Love you, too. 429 00:26:43,612 --> 00:26:45,981 Yeah, I know. I really can't believe it either. 430 00:26:46,015 --> 00:26:48,050 Well, your father's insane. 431 00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:49,952 Oh my God, they're here right now. 432 00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:51,420 This is all so fast. 433 00:26:51,453 --> 00:26:53,122 Did your father happen to run 434 00:26:53,155 --> 00:26:54,857 a background check on these people? 435 00:26:54,890 --> 00:26:56,292 Yeah, I don't really know about that. 436 00:26:56,325 --> 00:26:58,160 Well, we should definitely 437 00:26:58,193 --> 00:26:59,928 get you some pepper spray, you can keep it... 438 00:26:59,962 --> 00:27:01,597 You got this? Do you want me to take it? 439 00:27:01,630 --> 00:27:03,232 - I got it. Just... - You got it? 440 00:27:03,265 --> 00:27:05,067 - I got it. - Okay. 441 00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:06,902 Okay! You got it. Good. 442 00:27:26,255 --> 00:27:28,057 Kay. 443 00:27:31,260 --> 00:27:32,928 Uh, is over here good? 444 00:27:32,961 --> 00:27:35,064 - Uh... - Okay, great. 445 00:27:37,232 --> 00:27:39,134 Will you excuse me for a second? 446 00:27:39,168 --> 00:27:40,369 Hey, you okay? 447 00:27:40,402 --> 00:27:41,603 Yeah. Great. 448 00:27:41,637 --> 00:27:43,072 Be right back. 449 00:27:53,349 --> 00:27:55,451 I think we may need to get a mini-van. 450 00:27:55,484 --> 00:27:57,186 - I'm hungry. - Me too. 451 00:27:57,219 --> 00:27:58,554 Okay, guys, where do you want to eat? 452 00:27:58,587 --> 00:28:00,289 - McDonald's... - Sushi. 453 00:28:01,390 --> 00:28:04,360 Really want to try this place that only serves toast. 454 00:28:04,393 --> 00:28:06,462 Okay. Danny? 455 00:28:06,495 --> 00:28:08,097 I want... 456 00:28:08,130 --> 00:28:09,932 Steak tartare. 457 00:28:09,965 --> 00:28:11,233 What the fuck is that? 458 00:28:11,266 --> 00:28:12,935 - Courtney. - What? 459 00:28:12,968 --> 00:28:15,237 You taught me to curse? 460 00:28:15,270 --> 00:28:17,005 That's okay. My kids curse all the time. 461 00:28:17,039 --> 00:28:18,574 I don't curse. 462 00:28:18,607 --> 00:28:20,542 And steak tartare is raw hamburger. 463 00:28:21,343 --> 00:28:23,345 Great. So McDonald's, it is. 464 00:28:23,379 --> 00:28:25,347 Us can't get raw meat there. 465 00:28:25,381 --> 00:28:27,015 I want toast. 466 00:28:27,049 --> 00:28:28,250 Ugh, McDonald's is so gross. 467 00:28:28,283 --> 00:28:30,152 And I'm a vegetarian. 468 00:28:30,185 --> 00:28:31,688 Well, French fries are vegetarian. 469 00:28:31,721 --> 00:28:33,155 No, they're not. They have beef fat. 470 00:28:33,188 --> 00:28:34,656 That sounds like bullshit to me. 471 00:28:34,691 --> 00:28:35,958 - Courtney...! - I'm googling it right now. 472 00:28:35,991 --> 00:28:37,559 Guys, can we maybe compromise 473 00:28:37,593 --> 00:28:39,428 on a place we all agree on? 474 00:28:39,461 --> 00:28:41,964 Stop trying to be the peacemaker, Dad. 475 00:28:41,997 --> 00:28:44,233 It just makes us hate you more. 476 00:28:46,568 --> 00:28:48,337 You have to admit, objectively, 477 00:28:48,370 --> 00:28:50,406 McDonald's is literally gross. 478 00:28:50,439 --> 00:28:52,341 There is no objective reality, 479 00:28:52,374 --> 00:28:56,044 uh, literally and you're just a stuck up rich bitch. 480 00:28:56,078 --> 00:28:57,446 Ow! 481 00:28:58,614 --> 00:28:59,948 Maddie, are you okay? 482 00:28:59,982 --> 00:29:01,316 I'm fine. 483 00:29:03,285 --> 00:29:05,387 Your kid just hit my kid. 484 00:29:08,657 --> 00:29:10,659 Do I have to pull over? 485 00:29:10,693 --> 00:29:12,194 No. 486 00:29:15,230 --> 00:29:16,699 Taco Bell is vegetarian. 487 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:19,101 Could have gone there. 488 00:29:20,703 --> 00:29:22,037 Seriously? 489 00:29:23,605 --> 00:29:24,940 Just sayin'. 490 00:29:27,342 --> 00:29:29,111 So I thought we'd start with a scene 491 00:29:29,144 --> 00:29:30,747 from Sullivan's Travels, 492 00:29:30,780 --> 00:29:34,116 which is one of the classic American comedies 493 00:29:34,149 --> 00:29:37,219 directed by the great Preston Sturges. 494 00:29:38,387 --> 00:29:40,989 How many of you have heard of Preston Sturges? 495 00:29:46,261 --> 00:29:49,031 Okay. Well, you are in for a treat. 496 00:29:58,106 --> 00:29:59,408 Oh, no, no. 497 00:29:59,441 --> 00:30:00,710 Mm-mm. 498 00:30:00,743 --> 00:30:02,478 Sh... No, no. 499 00:30:02,511 --> 00:30:03,780 Okay,... That, that's not it. 500 00:30:03,813 --> 00:30:05,347 That's not Preston Sturges. 501 00:30:05,380 --> 00:30:07,182 It's not. 502 00:30:15,692 --> 00:30:17,426 Hi, Professor Goldman. 503 00:30:17,459 --> 00:30:20,162 We are just really struggling to understand 504 00:30:20,195 --> 00:30:22,264 what just happened in there. 505 00:30:22,297 --> 00:30:24,333 I had the same problem. 506 00:30:24,366 --> 00:30:26,235 But if you bend it in half, 507 00:30:26,268 --> 00:30:28,303 it clears a lot of things up. 508 00:30:28,337 --> 00:30:31,306 Pray with us before it's too late. 509 00:30:31,340 --> 00:30:32,674 - Pray? - Of course, 510 00:30:32,709 --> 00:30:34,343 everyone here prays together. 511 00:30:35,244 --> 00:30:37,513 Oh, okay. 512 00:30:37,546 --> 00:30:39,248 Let us pray. 513 00:30:42,184 --> 00:30:45,454 Um, but the teacher usually leads us in prayer. 514 00:30:45,487 --> 00:30:48,290 Oh, right, sure. Sure. 515 00:30:50,793 --> 00:30:52,695 Just talk from the heart. 516 00:30:52,729 --> 00:30:55,397 Tell us what happened when you first found Jesus. 517 00:30:58,166 --> 00:31:00,602 Well, it was the most... 518 00:31:00,636 --> 00:31:03,773 Spiritual experience I've ever had. 519 00:31:05,507 --> 00:31:07,609 Have you ever heard of the D-type? 520 00:31:07,643 --> 00:31:09,578 The D-type is the dominant... 521 00:31:09,611 --> 00:31:11,681 Divine type. 522 00:31:11,714 --> 00:31:14,784 He means the Divine type is our master. 523 00:31:14,817 --> 00:31:16,652 You... Go on, professor. 524 00:31:17,352 --> 00:31:21,156 The D-type knows what you like best 525 00:31:21,189 --> 00:31:24,493 but this is more like a transformation of energy 526 00:31:24,526 --> 00:31:28,163 from one all powerful being to another. 527 00:31:28,196 --> 00:31:31,400 Like, like, running, 528 00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:33,870 running so fast until you can't move 529 00:31:33,903 --> 00:31:36,271 and then you go past that. 530 00:31:37,740 --> 00:31:39,675 The master may even smack you 531 00:31:39,709 --> 00:31:43,345 in the face because he loves you so much. 532 00:31:44,379 --> 00:31:46,248 The D-type is our daddy... 533 00:31:46,281 --> 00:31:48,483 Our, our father. 534 00:31:52,387 --> 00:31:54,222 Can you tell me more about this D-type? 535 00:31:55,557 --> 00:31:57,125 What? 536 00:31:57,159 --> 00:31:59,194 The D-type. I'm really interested. 537 00:31:59,227 --> 00:32:01,698 I've been looking for articles but without success. 538 00:32:01,731 --> 00:32:03,365 Are you making fun of me? 539 00:32:03,398 --> 00:32:04,767 - No, not at all. - Mm-hm. 540 00:32:04,801 --> 00:32:06,301 I... 541 00:32:06,335 --> 00:32:08,503 You know, my students were curious. 542 00:32:08,537 --> 00:32:10,472 You talked about that? 543 00:32:10,505 --> 00:32:12,574 What kind of Christian school do you work at? 544 00:32:13,475 --> 00:32:14,676 It's very progressive. 545 00:32:14,711 --> 00:32:18,146 Clearly. Okay. 546 00:32:18,180 --> 00:32:20,817 Um, let's try it out if you're so curious. 547 00:32:21,751 --> 00:32:23,886 What? Now? 548 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,855 Of course. 549 00:32:25,888 --> 00:32:28,858 The only way to understand the D-type 550 00:32:29,726 --> 00:32:31,861 is to be the D-type. 551 00:32:37,366 --> 00:32:40,669 Okay, Tiger, you're in charge. 552 00:32:41,704 --> 00:32:43,238 What are you going to do? 553 00:32:44,239 --> 00:32:45,507 Sex. 554 00:32:47,509 --> 00:32:49,144 Not yet. 555 00:32:50,445 --> 00:32:52,849 You have to be a little creative, okay? 556 00:32:53,950 --> 00:32:55,651 Must have a million fantasies. 557 00:32:55,685 --> 00:32:57,619 Don't you, dirty boy? 558 00:32:57,653 --> 00:32:59,521 Sure, all guys do. 559 00:32:59,554 --> 00:33:02,524 Mm-hm. So, what's your fantasy? 560 00:33:04,359 --> 00:33:05,627 Um... 561 00:33:07,362 --> 00:33:08,765 Now you're putting me on the spot. 562 00:33:08,798 --> 00:33:09,832 Good. 563 00:33:10,767 --> 00:33:12,702 What are you thinking about? 564 00:33:16,238 --> 00:33:17,606 Diced tomatoes. 565 00:33:18,708 --> 00:33:21,209 Oh. That could be hot. 566 00:33:21,243 --> 00:33:23,378 I mean, I've never tried that but I am always game. 567 00:33:23,412 --> 00:33:25,213 No, I forgot to buy diced tomatoes 568 00:33:25,247 --> 00:33:26,749 for the stew I'm making tonight. 569 00:33:26,783 --> 00:33:28,617 You have a sexy woman tied to your bed 570 00:33:28,650 --> 00:33:30,419 and you're thinking about dinner? 571 00:33:30,452 --> 00:33:32,287 It's the most important ingredient. 572 00:33:33,890 --> 00:33:36,391 I guess I can make it without it. 573 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,295 Reach under the bed. There's a bag of toys. 574 00:33:42,664 --> 00:33:44,232 Mm-hm. 575 00:33:44,934 --> 00:33:46,535 Tighter. 576 00:33:47,737 --> 00:33:50,539 Tighter. 577 00:33:52,307 --> 00:33:54,242 Tighter. 578 00:33:54,276 --> 00:33:56,244 Tighter. 579 00:33:56,278 --> 00:33:57,914 Ignore it. 580 00:33:58,881 --> 00:34:01,918 This is our time. Tighter. 581 00:34:04,519 --> 00:34:05,755 Focus on your task. 582 00:34:05,788 --> 00:34:07,255 What if it's one of the kids? 583 00:34:07,289 --> 00:34:08,725 Deborah will handle it. 584 00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:18,667 - What is it? - Danny got another suspicious 585 00:34:18,701 --> 00:34:20,402 - package in the mail. - So? 586 00:34:20,435 --> 00:34:21,971 So it's probably drugs. 587 00:34:23,706 --> 00:34:25,808 I'll be back in a minute. I promise. 588 00:34:26,541 --> 00:34:27,810 Sorry. 589 00:34:32,048 --> 00:34:33,983 Ss... Sorry. 590 00:34:36,618 --> 00:34:38,253 - Won't take a second. - Mm-hm. 591 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:47,395 Little fast to move in with your girlfriend, 592 00:34:47,429 --> 00:34:48,765 wouldn't you say? 593 00:34:48,798 --> 00:34:50,066 It's from Oregon. 594 00:34:50,099 --> 00:34:51,666 Who does he know in Oregon? 595 00:34:51,701 --> 00:34:53,335 Is she a criminal? 596 00:34:53,368 --> 00:34:55,705 Or a check forger? Identity thief, bigamist? 597 00:34:55,738 --> 00:34:57,073 She's none of those things! 598 00:34:57,106 --> 00:34:58,607 Ha! How do you know? 599 00:34:58,640 --> 00:34:59,876 I trust her. 600 00:34:59,909 --> 00:35:01,778 You trust everyone with my children. 601 00:35:02,577 --> 00:35:04,013 Oh. Whoa. 602 00:35:05,081 --> 00:35:06,983 Did he order this from Amazon or something? 603 00:35:08,517 --> 00:35:09,886 What are you going to do? 604 00:35:09,919 --> 00:35:11,553 - Flush it down the toilet? - Oh! No. 605 00:35:11,586 --> 00:35:13,455 That thing will not fit down there. 606 00:35:13,488 --> 00:35:14,623 And I can't afford a plumber 607 00:35:14,656 --> 00:35:16,025 now that I'm a single mom. 608 00:35:16,058 --> 00:35:17,960 - What? - Can I come in? 609 00:35:17,994 --> 00:35:19,829 - It's an emergency. - I'm busy! 610 00:35:19,862 --> 00:35:21,931 Anna, open the door right now. 611 00:35:22,965 --> 00:35:24,767 What the hell is going on? 612 00:35:24,801 --> 00:35:26,936 - When did you start smoking? - Since the divorce. 613 00:35:26,969 --> 00:35:28,503 And I'm very traumatized 614 00:35:28,537 --> 00:35:29,671 since mom said you ruined my life. 615 00:35:29,705 --> 00:35:30,873 Ugh! 616 00:35:30,907 --> 00:35:32,474 Well, didn't you? 617 00:35:32,507 --> 00:35:33,976 I will deal with you later! 618 00:35:34,010 --> 00:35:35,978 Hey, don't forget, I'm the good kid. 619 00:35:36,012 --> 00:35:37,445 Mail come yet? 620 00:35:37,479 --> 00:35:38,915 Oh, it sure did. 621 00:35:38,948 --> 00:35:40,750 Who said that you could open my package? 622 00:35:40,783 --> 00:35:42,384 You do realize getting drugs 623 00:35:42,417 --> 00:35:43,719 in the mail is a felony. 624 00:35:43,753 --> 00:35:45,888 It's from Oregon. It's legal there. 625 00:35:45,922 --> 00:35:47,422 That doesn't matter. 626 00:35:47,455 --> 00:35:48,791 I've been very traumatized 627 00:35:48,825 --> 00:35:50,425 since mom told me you ruined my life. 628 00:35:51,093 --> 00:35:53,528 - I'm taking this. - No, you're not. It's mine. 629 00:35:53,562 --> 00:35:55,564 Get out of my way. I'm serious. 630 00:35:55,597 --> 00:35:56,833 I'm serious, too. 631 00:35:56,866 --> 00:35:58,034 I said, give it to me. 632 00:35:58,067 --> 00:35:59,869 Danny. I'm your father. 633 00:35:59,902 --> 00:36:01,436 So? 634 00:36:01,469 --> 00:36:03,005 So you don't want to do this. 635 00:36:04,506 --> 00:36:06,776 Yeah, I think I do. 636 00:36:07,143 --> 00:36:09,011 Well, then you leave me no choice then. 637 00:36:10,612 --> 00:36:12,414 Hey! Come back! 638 00:36:12,915 --> 00:36:14,951 Is that any way to parent? 639 00:36:21,123 --> 00:36:22,657 Search... 640 00:36:23,726 --> 00:36:25,393 Hot contractor... 641 00:36:25,427 --> 00:36:27,462 Correction. 642 00:36:27,495 --> 00:36:31,701 Search angry hot contractor. 643 00:37:18,915 --> 00:37:20,582 Babe. 644 00:37:24,486 --> 00:37:26,923 It's always been tough with him, even as a baby. 645 00:37:26,956 --> 00:37:29,091 Mm. They're born who they are. 646 00:37:30,726 --> 00:37:32,962 Can you maybe put him in some kind of program? 647 00:37:32,995 --> 00:37:34,163 I've tried. 648 00:37:34,196 --> 00:37:35,597 Deborah will never go for it. 649 00:37:35,630 --> 00:37:36,799 Mm. 650 00:37:37,833 --> 00:37:40,635 It's only going to get worse. 651 00:37:43,139 --> 00:37:45,440 I'll talk to him. Again. 652 00:37:50,012 --> 00:37:52,815 So I read through all the divorce parenting books 653 00:37:52,848 --> 00:37:55,051 and funnily enough, 654 00:37:55,084 --> 00:37:57,019 not one of them gives advice 655 00:37:57,053 --> 00:37:58,620 on what to do when your son 656 00:37:58,653 --> 00:38:00,522 orders drugs through the mail. 657 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,096 Danny, I know it's been difficult at home 658 00:38:07,129 --> 00:38:09,031 and for the most part, 659 00:38:09,065 --> 00:38:11,633 I'm really proud of how mature you've been. 660 00:38:11,666 --> 00:38:14,737 I mean, you're growing into a really great person. 661 00:38:16,706 --> 00:38:17,907 But this? 662 00:38:18,741 --> 00:38:20,743 What you're doing now? 663 00:38:20,776 --> 00:38:24,512 This will fuck up your life completely. 664 00:38:24,546 --> 00:38:26,514 And no judge is going to be sympathetic 665 00:38:26,548 --> 00:38:28,918 when you say, "I did it because I was angry at my parents." 666 00:38:28,951 --> 00:38:32,822 I do it because I love drugs. 667 00:38:32,855 --> 00:38:35,224 Okay, well, that's an honest answer. 668 00:38:36,292 --> 00:38:38,861 Let me tell you what I'm proposing to do. 669 00:38:38,894 --> 00:38:40,528 If you tell me 670 00:38:40,562 --> 00:38:41,897 who gave you the money 671 00:38:41,931 --> 00:38:43,665 to help you buy the stuff, 672 00:38:43,699 --> 00:38:45,701 I will give them back what they paid you 673 00:38:45,735 --> 00:38:47,669 and we will get you back into counseling. 674 00:38:49,138 --> 00:38:50,973 How does that sound? 675 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,542 I want my pot back. 676 00:38:56,712 --> 00:38:57,913 Danny. 677 00:39:10,793 --> 00:39:13,696 Everyone's been talking about the D-type, professor. 678 00:39:13,729 --> 00:39:16,766 You've awoken us. Please tell us more. 679 00:39:17,366 --> 00:39:19,969 Well, uh, you can't just go 680 00:39:20,002 --> 00:39:21,837 straight to the D-type, friends. 681 00:39:21,871 --> 00:39:25,607 There's a... There's a million other places... prayers... 682 00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:27,843 prayers that you should start with first. 683 00:39:27,877 --> 00:39:29,745 Well, how will we know where to find it? 684 00:39:31,013 --> 00:39:33,249 Well, you just have to... 685 00:39:39,188 --> 00:39:41,589 Like, like the Pope? 686 00:39:41,623 --> 00:39:43,826 Right, exactly. 687 00:39:45,728 --> 00:39:47,229 I have to get to the studio. 688 00:39:47,263 --> 00:39:49,031 My show is coming up so fast 689 00:39:49,065 --> 00:39:51,100 and I haven't gotten any real work done in weeks. 690 00:39:51,133 --> 00:39:52,968 But dinner's ready. 691 00:39:53,002 --> 00:39:54,904 Uh, can I just eat later? 692 00:39:54,937 --> 00:39:56,372 I think it's important we sit together, 693 00:39:56,405 --> 00:39:57,740 as a family. 694 00:39:58,874 --> 00:40:01,911 Oh, uh, okay. 695 00:40:01,944 --> 00:40:03,913 Right. A spoon. 696 00:40:12,154 --> 00:40:14,156 Where's Maddie? 697 00:40:14,190 --> 00:40:15,724 She won't come down. 698 00:40:16,759 --> 00:40:17,927 They. 699 00:40:21,363 --> 00:40:22,965 I will be right back. 700 00:40:29,205 --> 00:40:30,940 Can you please, just come down? 701 00:40:30,973 --> 00:40:32,708 Two minutes. He made a family dinner for us. 702 00:40:32,741 --> 00:40:34,676 I'm not explaining. 703 00:40:34,710 --> 00:40:36,278 You don't have to love anybody, you don't have to 704 00:40:36,312 --> 00:40:37,947 like anybody, but you do have to be polite. 705 00:40:37,980 --> 00:40:39,982 I'll be right back. Go ahead and start... 706 00:40:40,015 --> 00:40:41,817 Mom, I've done so much for you. I... 707 00:40:41,851 --> 00:40:43,352 Oh. We're not gonna start that, are we? 708 00:40:43,385 --> 00:40:44,820 Yes. We can. 709 00:40:47,189 --> 00:40:48,791 Please. Stop. 710 00:40:51,460 --> 00:40:53,929 I need to go to the studio, so... 711 00:40:53,963 --> 00:40:55,431 Do you mind if I talk to them? 712 00:40:58,701 --> 00:41:00,769 See you later. 713 00:41:08,144 --> 00:41:09,411 Knock-knock. 714 00:41:15,417 --> 00:41:17,086 Can I come in? 715 00:41:20,122 --> 00:41:21,323 Fine. 716 00:41:26,262 --> 00:41:27,863 Do you want to come down for dinner? 717 00:41:28,464 --> 00:41:30,032 I'm not hungry. 718 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,067 Okay. 719 00:41:33,802 --> 00:41:35,404 Do you want to tell me what's wrong? 720 00:41:37,373 --> 00:41:40,176 My teacher keeps mis-gendering me. 721 00:41:41,210 --> 00:41:42,945 And he's really being a jerk. 722 00:41:45,414 --> 00:41:46,982 You want to get some doughnuts? 723 00:41:52,188 --> 00:41:53,455 Yeah. 724 00:42:01,530 --> 00:42:03,199 Hi, how can I help you? 725 00:42:03,232 --> 00:42:05,100 Uh, hi. I will have a black coffee 726 00:42:05,134 --> 00:42:07,836 and they will have a Boston cream. 727 00:42:07,870 --> 00:42:09,471 Okay, one black coffee 728 00:42:09,505 --> 00:42:12,274 and how many Boston creams? 729 00:42:12,308 --> 00:42:14,243 Oh sorry, one. 730 00:42:14,276 --> 00:42:18,380 They want one Boston cream, sir? 731 00:42:19,381 --> 00:42:22,885 Yeah, because Maddie here uses the they pronoun. 732 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,889 Uh... What? 733 00:42:28,924 --> 00:42:30,960 - The young woman... - Person. 734 00:42:33,262 --> 00:42:34,830 Sorry. 735 00:42:36,065 --> 00:42:37,933 The young person seated next to me 736 00:42:37,967 --> 00:42:41,303 does not refer to themselves as she but as they. 737 00:42:42,905 --> 00:42:45,274 Uh... 738 00:42:51,146 --> 00:42:52,815 What do we do now? 739 00:42:55,517 --> 00:42:56,885 I don't know. 740 00:43:00,589 --> 00:43:02,458 Should we just go? 741 00:43:03,492 --> 00:43:05,861 Yeah, maybe. 742 00:43:05,894 --> 00:43:08,397 Would they like to add a coke 743 00:43:08,430 --> 00:43:10,966 for an extra 79 cents and make it a meal? 744 00:43:14,169 --> 00:43:15,237 Want a coke? 745 00:43:17,973 --> 00:43:19,308 Yes, they would. 746 00:43:20,509 --> 00:43:22,144 And thank you. 747 00:43:25,881 --> 00:43:27,283 Next time, I will. 748 00:43:27,950 --> 00:43:29,518 - Oh, hey. - Hi. 749 00:43:29,551 --> 00:43:31,153 Where'd you guys go? 750 00:43:31,186 --> 00:43:32,855 Maddie wanted doughnuts. 751 00:43:34,356 --> 00:43:35,958 I would have liked doughnuts. 752 00:43:36,959 --> 00:43:38,127 Why didn't you take me? 753 00:43:41,597 --> 00:43:44,566 Maddie and I just needed a little time to talk. 754 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,936 Well, I would have gone had I been invited. 755 00:43:56,879 --> 00:43:59,515 Maddie said they had a really good time tonight. 756 00:44:01,317 --> 00:44:02,518 Yeah. 757 00:44:02,551 --> 00:44:03,952 We really bonded. 758 00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:06,322 I think it's really sexy 759 00:44:06,355 --> 00:44:07,990 when you get along with my kids. 760 00:44:09,358 --> 00:44:12,127 Tomorrow, I think we should all go go-carting. 761 00:44:12,161 --> 00:44:14,096 I think I have a Groupon. 762 00:44:14,496 --> 00:44:16,632 That's peachy, baby. 763 00:44:20,135 --> 00:44:22,037 Meow. 764 00:44:28,544 --> 00:44:31,313 Sometimes I worry that I'm not wild enough for you. 765 00:44:33,215 --> 00:44:34,450 Wild. 766 00:44:36,118 --> 00:44:38,954 You, sir, know nothing of wild. 767 00:45:23,999 --> 00:45:25,567 Look at mom. 768 00:45:25,601 --> 00:45:27,469 You think she's okay? 769 00:45:27,503 --> 00:45:29,238 She's been a little tightly wound. 770 00:45:30,105 --> 00:45:31,507 Where's dad? 771 00:45:31,540 --> 00:45:33,609 I think he went to the bathroom. 772 00:45:33,642 --> 00:45:35,712 Welcome to Grand Prix Carting Indoor Entertainment, 773 00:45:35,745 --> 00:45:37,714 everyone, and a warm welcome to the Kelly family. 774 00:45:37,747 --> 00:45:40,182 They're celebrating 12 year old Henry's birthday 775 00:45:40,215 --> 00:45:42,685 with us today. Henry was just promoted to Tenderfoot... 776 00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:44,553 Can I just grow up? 777 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,388 Seriously. 778 00:45:46,422 --> 00:45:48,323 Congratulations, Henry. 779 00:45:48,357 --> 00:45:51,326 Oh. No, no, no, no. 780 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,696 No. No, no, no, no. 781 00:45:53,730 --> 00:45:56,198 And let's say hello to a new blended family: 782 00:45:56,231 --> 00:45:59,301 The Goldman-Harpers. Welcome to their son, Danny, 783 00:45:59,334 --> 00:46:02,104 daughters Anna and Courtney and a special shout out 784 00:46:02,137 --> 00:46:04,973 to their non-gender binary child, Maddie! 785 00:46:06,141 --> 00:46:07,376 We showed them! 786 00:46:07,409 --> 00:46:09,011 Smash the patriarchy. 787 00:46:09,044 --> 00:46:10,579 What's wrong with you? 788 00:46:10,612 --> 00:46:12,715 You just outed me in front of all these people. 789 00:46:12,749 --> 00:46:14,082 What? 790 00:46:14,751 --> 00:46:16,084 I'm just trying to help. 791 00:46:16,118 --> 00:46:17,986 No one asked for your help. 792 00:46:22,090 --> 00:46:24,326 Oh, guys, come on. 793 00:46:24,359 --> 00:46:26,161 Maddie. 794 00:46:32,201 --> 00:46:33,535 Don't mind my dad. 795 00:46:34,269 --> 00:46:35,604 He really does mean well. 796 00:46:36,305 --> 00:46:37,973 I just can't believed he would do that. 797 00:46:38,741 --> 00:46:43,045 He just wants to be liked. It's his fatal flaw. 798 00:46:51,386 --> 00:46:53,522 I'm not going on one of those. 799 00:46:53,555 --> 00:46:55,457 Me neither. 800 00:46:55,491 --> 00:46:57,559 Come on, Mads, it'll be fun. 801 00:46:57,593 --> 00:46:59,228 No way. 802 00:47:01,630 --> 00:47:03,265 I'll go with you. 803 00:47:09,438 --> 00:47:10,773 What's wrong? 804 00:47:11,607 --> 00:47:13,776 I'm actually scared of these. 805 00:47:13,810 --> 00:47:15,745 Maddie always calms me down. 806 00:47:17,379 --> 00:47:20,315 It'll be all right. I've driven these a ton. 807 00:47:20,349 --> 00:47:21,416 You have? 808 00:47:21,450 --> 00:47:23,418 Yeah. Don't worry. 809 00:47:28,457 --> 00:47:29,826 Woo! 810 00:47:29,859 --> 00:47:31,627 I'm flying! 811 00:47:47,142 --> 00:47:49,211 Just so, you know, I already have a boyfriend 812 00:47:49,244 --> 00:47:50,579 and a girlfriend 813 00:47:50,612 --> 00:47:52,214 and a consensual DS relationship 814 00:47:52,247 --> 00:47:53,716 and two friends with benefits. 815 00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:56,051 So I am not looking for another relationship. 816 00:47:57,252 --> 00:48:00,122 I've got four unruly teenagers living under one roof. 817 00:48:00,155 --> 00:48:02,257 If you want a piece of that, be my guest. 818 00:48:02,291 --> 00:48:03,860 Honey, you're so tense. 819 00:48:03,893 --> 00:48:05,728 What are you afraid of? 820 00:48:06,395 --> 00:48:08,765 I got a list. Do you want to hear it? 821 00:48:08,798 --> 00:48:12,769 Ugh. Quiet. Just let go. 822 00:48:12,802 --> 00:48:15,237 Let me take care of everything. 823 00:48:15,270 --> 00:48:17,306 You promise to be gentle? 824 00:48:17,339 --> 00:48:18,875 No, I won't. 825 00:48:18,908 --> 00:48:20,475 And you like it that way. 826 00:48:20,509 --> 00:48:22,210 Now, if you get scared 827 00:48:22,244 --> 00:48:25,213 or a little freaked out, just drop the ball. 828 00:48:28,250 --> 00:48:30,820 Mm! 829 00:48:32,722 --> 00:48:34,289 How's that? 830 00:48:38,393 --> 00:48:40,162 I'm flying! 831 00:48:42,664 --> 00:48:44,867 I bet you're a hitch fan now. 832 00:48:46,903 --> 00:48:48,838 Oh fuck! 833 00:48:48,871 --> 00:48:50,339 Ow! 834 00:48:50,372 --> 00:48:51,808 - You okay? - No! 835 00:48:53,776 --> 00:48:55,845 What's that you say? Harder? 836 00:49:00,349 --> 00:49:01,884 Harder? 837 00:49:01,918 --> 00:49:04,453 What's that? Harder? 838 00:49:05,722 --> 00:49:07,389 Oh! 839 00:49:10,192 --> 00:49:11,828 You are a natural, babe. 840 00:49:11,861 --> 00:49:13,328 I didn't know I had it in me. 841 00:49:13,362 --> 00:49:14,529 Ha! 842 00:49:14,563 --> 00:49:15,765 Pro tip... 843 00:49:16,933 --> 00:49:18,433 Sometimes people can get a little emotional after this. 844 00:49:18,467 --> 00:49:20,937 - We call it, "Drop." - I feel great. 845 00:49:20,970 --> 00:49:23,538 Trust me, you're gonna want to find some hugs. 846 00:49:23,572 --> 00:49:25,240 You want me to lose my job? 847 00:49:25,273 --> 00:49:26,743 I got to teach a class in an hour. 848 00:49:26,776 --> 00:49:29,444 I would not recommend teaching after this. 849 00:49:29,478 --> 00:49:30,847 Okay, I'll be okay. 850 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:32,214 I'm a professional. 851 00:49:32,247 --> 00:49:34,349 - Oh. - Thanks! 852 00:49:40,255 --> 00:49:41,490 Hi, everybody. 853 00:49:45,795 --> 00:49:47,830 Dr. Rawlings. 854 00:49:47,864 --> 00:49:50,298 I didn't know you'd be visiting class, today. 855 00:49:50,332 --> 00:49:51,934 Your enrollments have been going up. 856 00:49:51,968 --> 00:49:54,336 I wanted to see what the excitement was all about. 857 00:49:54,369 --> 00:49:56,973 Oh. Well, we are watching 858 00:49:57,006 --> 00:50:01,410 a comedy today, so I hope you like the sound of laughter. 859 00:50:13,790 --> 00:50:14,957 Oh. 860 00:50:25,300 --> 00:50:26,435 You're walking funny. 861 00:50:26,468 --> 00:50:27,770 Am I? 862 00:50:29,972 --> 00:50:31,774 Are you okay? 863 00:50:32,407 --> 00:50:34,676 Get on your knees and stick your ass in the air. 864 00:50:37,646 --> 00:50:39,247 Yes, sir. 865 00:50:49,491 --> 00:50:51,626 Does this make you feel like a man? 866 00:50:53,428 --> 00:50:54,931 Ow, Jesus. 867 00:50:54,964 --> 00:50:56,598 Sorry. 868 00:50:56,631 --> 00:50:58,400 Am I doing it wrong? 869 00:51:00,803 --> 00:51:02,839 Babe, I'm just not in the mood. 870 00:51:17,452 --> 00:51:20,322 I obviously did a bad job because she's pissed. 871 00:51:21,590 --> 00:51:23,391 You forgot the warm up. 872 00:51:23,425 --> 00:51:24,727 You have to let it build a little. 873 00:51:24,761 --> 00:51:26,294 Tease her. 874 00:51:26,328 --> 00:51:27,730 I just want her to be happy. 875 00:51:27,764 --> 00:51:29,364 Alright. 876 00:51:29,397 --> 00:51:30,967 I'm going to do you a huge favor 877 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,002 and give you a crash course. 878 00:51:33,035 --> 00:51:35,772 You can do a scene with me tonight at COKC. 879 00:51:37,006 --> 00:51:39,441 "Central Ohio Kink Convention?" 880 00:51:39,474 --> 00:51:40,877 Cock? 881 00:51:40,910 --> 00:51:42,544 You want me to go to something called cock? 882 00:51:42,577 --> 00:51:43,880 It's pronounced "coke." 883 00:51:44,814 --> 00:51:47,449 "The premier kink mecca of the Midwest. 884 00:51:47,482 --> 00:51:50,385 Rope, bondage, SM skills, warm and wet room 885 00:51:50,418 --> 00:51:51,888 for all you fire players." 886 00:51:51,921 --> 00:51:53,689 Ooh, no, I don't think I can do that. 887 00:51:53,723 --> 00:51:55,323 Be on time. 888 00:51:55,357 --> 00:51:56,793 And no matter what you see, 889 00:51:56,826 --> 00:51:59,061 don't laugh and don't cry like a pussy. 890 00:52:03,933 --> 00:52:07,870 A board membership vacant in conformance with standards 891 00:52:07,904 --> 00:52:10,940 by a vote of a majority of faculty members. 892 00:52:22,852 --> 00:52:24,053 Aye or nay? 893 00:52:24,086 --> 00:52:25,554 Aye. 894 00:52:35,597 --> 00:52:37,399 For the first time ever, 895 00:52:37,432 --> 00:52:39,836 the prestigious Professor of Faith award 896 00:52:39,869 --> 00:52:41,704 as voted on by the students, 897 00:52:41,737 --> 00:52:45,373 goes to the newest member of our faculty, 898 00:52:45,407 --> 00:52:49,377 who now enjoys the highest enrollment 899 00:52:49,411 --> 00:52:52,949 in the school and I'd like to ask him to stand, 900 00:52:52,982 --> 00:52:55,751 please say a few words about his faith: 901 00:52:55,785 --> 00:52:58,420 Professor Charlie Goldman. 902 00:52:58,453 --> 00:52:59,922 Aye. 903 00:52:59,956 --> 00:53:02,024 Uh... No, professor. 904 00:53:02,058 --> 00:53:04,894 Could you stand and talk about your faith? 905 00:53:04,927 --> 00:53:06,128 My faith? 906 00:53:07,629 --> 00:53:08,698 Um... 907 00:53:15,104 --> 00:53:17,073 Uh, what do I have faith in? 908 00:53:17,606 --> 00:53:19,775 Uh, what do I have faith in... 909 00:53:19,809 --> 00:53:21,643 Uh... 910 00:53:23,145 --> 00:53:24,747 You know that feeling 911 00:53:24,780 --> 00:53:26,548 when you thought you were on solid ground 912 00:53:26,581 --> 00:53:28,885 but then somebody lifts you up, 913 00:53:28,918 --> 00:53:30,853 six, maybe seven feet in the air 914 00:53:30,887 --> 00:53:32,420 and you know it's going to hurt 915 00:53:32,454 --> 00:53:34,156 and there's going to be some marks 916 00:53:34,190 --> 00:53:37,126 but you keep going. 917 00:53:37,860 --> 00:53:41,496 God lifted you up, Professor? 918 00:53:43,032 --> 00:53:45,868 It changes your perspective when you open up like that. 919 00:53:47,036 --> 00:53:49,038 My 17 year old has a problem with drugs 920 00:53:49,071 --> 00:53:51,640 and I have to remind myself 921 00:53:51,673 --> 00:53:54,010 that he's a smart kid and I can't solve everything. 922 00:53:55,945 --> 00:53:57,880 But I have to have enough faith in him 923 00:53:57,914 --> 00:54:00,750 to give him the space to figure it out, himself. 924 00:54:03,219 --> 00:54:06,122 My new step kid is gender nonconforming 925 00:54:06,155 --> 00:54:08,958 and I've been trying to educate people to understand. 926 00:54:10,226 --> 00:54:13,162 And I have faith in the world that they will be 927 00:54:13,195 --> 00:54:15,530 accepted sooner rather than later. 928 00:54:16,999 --> 00:54:18,600 And my girlfriend is way 929 00:54:18,633 --> 00:54:20,836 more experienced sexually than I am... 930 00:54:22,637 --> 00:54:24,673 Ixnay. Ixnay... 931 00:54:24,707 --> 00:54:26,909 And I have to not be intimidated by that 932 00:54:26,943 --> 00:54:30,813 and remember, that's my problem, not hers. 933 00:54:33,215 --> 00:54:34,984 And I have to have faith in her 934 00:54:35,017 --> 00:54:37,153 when she says she loves me more than anything. 935 00:54:40,555 --> 00:54:42,624 You can't live your life being insecure. 936 00:54:45,962 --> 00:54:48,496 And, I... I do have faith that we will be 937 00:54:48,530 --> 00:54:50,132 a family eventually. 938 00:55:01,576 --> 00:55:04,180 Have I been here long enough for a 401(k)? 939 00:55:37,947 --> 00:55:39,815 Come to Papa. 940 00:56:52,054 --> 00:56:53,856 Mom, it's me. 941 00:56:55,724 --> 00:56:57,059 Can you pick me up? 942 00:56:59,395 --> 00:57:01,764 I have to go pick up Danny from Dad's. 943 00:57:01,797 --> 00:57:03,399 Can you take me with you? 944 00:57:03,432 --> 00:57:05,901 Well, we have plans. My divorced persons group 945 00:57:05,935 --> 00:57:08,804 is coming over to watch John Wick 3: Parabellum. 946 00:57:08,838 --> 00:57:11,240 Yeah, that sounds awesome, 947 00:57:11,273 --> 00:57:13,175 but I kind of just wanted to hang out 948 00:57:13,209 --> 00:57:14,877 with Courtney and Maddie. 949 00:57:14,910 --> 00:57:16,412 Oh, I thought you didn't like them. 950 00:57:16,445 --> 00:57:18,981 - I guess they're alright. - Mm. 951 00:57:33,896 --> 00:57:35,731 You going to a costume party? 952 00:57:35,764 --> 00:57:38,234 Something like that. Dinner. 953 00:57:38,267 --> 00:57:39,835 Danny's in his room. 954 00:57:39,869 --> 00:57:42,138 Actually, mom just picked him up. 955 00:57:42,171 --> 00:57:44,206 Oh. Have a good night. 956 00:57:57,253 --> 00:58:00,089 Excuse me. Hi. Sorry to bother you. 957 00:58:00,122 --> 00:58:01,957 I think I'm in the wrong place. 958 00:58:01,991 --> 00:58:04,093 I'm looking for the S&M festival. 959 00:58:04,126 --> 00:58:05,394 The what? 960 00:58:05,427 --> 00:58:07,229 Man, we're here for a funeral. 961 00:58:07,263 --> 00:58:08,964 Oh my God, I'm so sorry. 962 00:58:10,232 --> 00:58:11,901 I'm just messing with you, bro. 963 00:58:14,036 --> 00:58:15,337 First door on your right. 964 00:58:15,905 --> 00:58:17,439 - Thank you. - Have fun there, buddy. 965 00:58:17,473 --> 00:58:19,175 I'll try. 966 00:58:22,211 --> 00:58:24,246 Welcome to COKC! 967 00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:26,215 Uh, I... I'm not sure... 968 00:58:26,248 --> 00:58:28,951 Oh, you're in the right place. 969 00:58:28,984 --> 00:58:30,953 What's your name? 970 00:58:30,986 --> 00:58:33,789 Uh, uh... Charlie Goldman. 971 00:58:33,822 --> 00:58:35,858 No, your kink name. 972 00:58:37,126 --> 00:58:39,395 Uh, I'm not... I don't think I have a... 973 00:58:40,129 --> 00:58:41,964 Oh, oh, oh, oh. Mm. 974 00:58:42,965 --> 00:58:45,100 Lauren had this made specially for you. 975 00:58:46,802 --> 00:58:48,437 Okay. 976 00:58:48,470 --> 00:58:50,406 Right there. 977 00:58:50,439 --> 00:58:51,941 Top or bottom? 978 00:58:53,042 --> 00:58:54,777 Say what now? 979 00:58:54,810 --> 00:58:56,212 I need to know which bracelet to give you. 980 00:58:56,245 --> 00:58:58,113 Are you a top or a bottom? 981 00:58:58,147 --> 00:59:02,151 Oh, sure. Um, I'm not gay. 982 00:59:02,184 --> 00:59:04,153 Oh, honey, no. 983 00:59:04,954 --> 00:59:06,755 Do you like to do things to people 984 00:59:06,789 --> 00:59:08,857 or have them done to you? 985 00:59:11,860 --> 00:59:13,329 Can I let you know in about an hour? 986 00:59:13,362 --> 00:59:15,197 Sure love. 987 00:59:16,465 --> 00:59:19,902 Hey, I know where Danny keeps his weed. 988 00:59:25,407 --> 00:59:27,209 What do we do with this? 989 00:59:30,913 --> 00:59:33,882 Yay, I'm starving. 990 00:59:33,916 --> 00:59:35,818 Hey, Court! Don't eat it. 991 00:59:35,851 --> 00:59:38,120 It's um, full of liver. 992 00:59:38,153 --> 00:59:40,089 - Ew. - Yeah. 993 00:59:52,601 --> 00:59:54,303 Hey. 994 01:00:01,310 --> 01:00:04,513 Oh, God, no. Oh my God. 995 01:00:07,583 --> 01:00:09,351 Hey. 996 01:00:09,585 --> 01:00:12,988 Cupcake, in the lounge. You're next. 997 01:00:13,022 --> 01:00:15,190 Okay. This way? 998 01:00:16,925 --> 01:00:19,328 Now, what's that? 999 01:01:16,585 --> 01:01:17,920 Ready for your scene? 1000 01:01:17,953 --> 01:01:19,221 Sure. 1001 01:01:23,926 --> 01:01:26,061 So, where should we start? 1002 01:01:26,628 --> 01:01:28,163 Yes. 1003 01:01:28,197 --> 01:01:29,398 No. 1004 01:01:29,431 --> 01:01:30,966 Maybe. 1005 01:01:30,999 --> 01:01:32,301 Never in a million years. 1006 01:01:32,334 --> 01:01:33,502 Sure. 1007 01:01:34,436 --> 01:01:36,372 What is that for? 1008 01:01:36,405 --> 01:01:38,340 Let's start with this. 1009 01:01:43,512 --> 01:01:45,881 See, it's all about the warm up. 1010 01:01:46,582 --> 01:01:48,016 That's not so bad. 1011 01:01:48,417 --> 01:01:49,551 I don't feel anything yet. 1012 01:01:51,019 --> 01:01:52,621 Ow! Jesus! 1013 01:01:53,355 --> 01:01:55,224 I don't... I don't feel anything yet. 1014 01:01:55,257 --> 01:01:56,592 I feel nothing. 1015 01:01:56,625 --> 01:01:58,160 It's just such a dud. 1016 01:01:59,729 --> 01:02:01,263 What? 1017 01:02:01,296 --> 01:02:02,664 - What? - How does it look? 1018 01:02:02,699 --> 01:02:04,433 - Do I look okay? - Um. 1019 01:02:06,368 --> 01:02:08,437 Yes. I'm sorry. 1020 01:02:10,606 --> 01:02:13,409 That... That was a lot for me, I'm sor... I'm sorry. 1021 01:02:13,442 --> 01:02:15,210 Let's have more. 1022 01:02:15,244 --> 01:02:17,012 - I think you look good. - Are you sure... 1023 01:02:17,045 --> 01:02:18,514 I think it looks really good. I'm... I'm serious. 1024 01:02:18,547 --> 01:02:21,250 You guys are really fun tonight. 1025 01:02:25,587 --> 01:02:27,256 I wish Keanu would... 1026 01:02:30,292 --> 01:02:33,095 Oh, yes! That's what I'm talking about. 1027 01:02:33,128 --> 01:02:36,198 Your dog was so cute, John Wick. 1028 01:02:36,231 --> 01:02:37,533 Fuck them up! 1029 01:02:46,308 --> 01:02:48,510 That, that looks like your son, Deb. 1030 01:02:50,245 --> 01:02:51,413 Danny? 1031 01:02:53,482 --> 01:02:55,718 Danny? 1032 01:02:55,752 --> 01:02:57,152 What are you doing out here? 1033 01:02:57,186 --> 01:02:58,487 Is he okay, Deb? 1034 01:03:00,122 --> 01:03:01,190 Honey. 1035 01:03:02,524 --> 01:03:04,092 Honey? 1036 01:03:08,030 --> 01:03:09,498 Oh, I got him! I got him! 1037 01:03:23,780 --> 01:03:25,514 Sh, sh, sh. 1038 01:03:31,186 --> 01:03:33,756 Gooo-a-a-l! 1039 01:03:37,226 --> 01:03:39,228 Goal! 1040 01:04:03,151 --> 01:04:05,722 Holy shit. 1041 01:04:05,755 --> 01:04:07,690 Holy shit. 1042 01:04:09,792 --> 01:04:11,593 Danny, what did you take? 1043 01:04:11,627 --> 01:04:13,028 Mm-hm. 1044 01:04:13,796 --> 01:04:15,330 I'm gay. 1045 01:04:15,364 --> 01:04:16,532 Hm. 1046 01:04:17,199 --> 01:04:18,801 Holy shit, I'm gay. 1047 01:04:21,537 --> 01:04:23,238 - Mm. - Breasts. 1048 01:04:25,742 --> 01:04:27,543 I'm not gay. 1049 01:04:28,377 --> 01:04:29,812 I think I might be bi. 1050 01:04:29,846 --> 01:04:31,280 I think we should take him 1051 01:04:31,313 --> 01:04:33,148 to a hospital. 1052 01:04:33,181 --> 01:04:34,249 Hey... 1053 01:04:35,752 --> 01:04:37,319 How do you know you're gay? 1054 01:04:38,721 --> 01:04:40,522 Well, half my class just came out. 1055 01:04:40,556 --> 01:04:42,357 Really? 1056 01:04:42,391 --> 01:04:43,760 That's cool. 1057 01:04:44,459 --> 01:04:46,863 I think most of 'em are poly. 1058 01:04:46,896 --> 01:04:48,597 What's that? 1059 01:04:48,630 --> 01:04:50,465 It's when you love everybody. 1060 01:04:50,499 --> 01:04:52,568 Guys, I can't feel my legs. I think I'm paralyzed. 1061 01:04:52,601 --> 01:04:54,636 You're standing up. You can't be paralyzed. 1062 01:04:54,670 --> 01:04:56,371 No, I can't feel my legs. 1063 01:04:56,405 --> 01:04:57,639 - Okay? - Courtney! 1064 01:04:57,673 --> 01:04:59,374 - What? - Can you call mom? 1065 01:05:00,576 --> 01:05:02,477 - Call mom! - I am! 1066 01:05:02,511 --> 01:05:04,479 - She's calling her. - I can't feel my leg! 1067 01:05:04,513 --> 01:05:06,214 - I'm paralyzed! - Okay! 1068 01:05:06,248 --> 01:05:08,885 - Call her... - She's not picking up. 1069 01:05:26,368 --> 01:05:28,570 Surprise, bitch. 1070 01:05:28,604 --> 01:05:30,205 Let's have some fun. 1071 01:05:36,445 --> 01:05:37,847 Oh, ho, ho. 1072 01:05:49,524 --> 01:05:50,793 Turn you around now. 1073 01:05:51,393 --> 01:05:52,561 There we go. 1074 01:05:52,594 --> 01:05:53,730 Yeah. Yeah. 1075 01:05:57,265 --> 01:05:58,333 Pineapple. 1076 01:05:59,401 --> 01:06:01,236 Pineapple! 1077 01:06:02,972 --> 01:06:04,306 Lisa? 1078 01:06:05,708 --> 01:06:07,242 Charlie. 1079 01:06:10,212 --> 01:06:12,815 - Oh, you look great. - Pineapple. 1080 01:06:12,849 --> 01:06:14,751 Have you been taking lessons for me? 1081 01:06:14,784 --> 01:06:17,252 For us. I'm taking lessons for us. 1082 01:06:17,285 --> 01:06:18,955 - Is this your boyfriend, Lisa? - Yeah. 1083 01:06:18,988 --> 01:06:21,356 What, come on, you guys know each other? 1084 01:06:21,390 --> 01:06:22,591 Pine. Apple! 1085 01:06:22,624 --> 01:06:25,327 Oh, sorry, honey. Okay. 1086 01:06:27,830 --> 01:06:29,832 Dr. Rawlings? 1087 01:06:30,967 --> 01:06:33,335 Dr. Rawlings, I didn't know you were a kinkster. 1088 01:06:33,368 --> 01:06:35,303 What did you expect? 1089 01:06:35,337 --> 01:06:37,840 You think D-type really means divine? 1090 01:06:39,341 --> 01:06:42,244 I hope I can count on your discretion, Professor. 1091 01:06:42,277 --> 01:06:44,914 Of course, as long as I can keep my job. 1092 01:06:44,947 --> 01:06:46,515 Done. 1093 01:06:46,548 --> 01:06:48,283 Good because I like working there. 1094 01:06:48,316 --> 01:06:49,651 Wait, what's going on here? 1095 01:06:49,686 --> 01:06:51,586 Huh. A kinkster. 1096 01:06:52,320 --> 01:06:54,322 Step aside, Lauren, 1097 01:06:54,356 --> 01:06:57,659 if anyone's going to whip my man, it's going to be me. 1098 01:07:03,833 --> 01:07:06,936 Ow. Fuck. 1099 01:07:07,970 --> 01:07:10,605 Danny, will you please stop doing that, honey? 1100 01:07:10,639 --> 01:07:13,408 Oh! Charlie, will you please pick up? 1101 01:07:13,442 --> 01:07:16,611 I am taking Danny to Columbus Children's. 1102 01:07:16,645 --> 01:07:19,281 I don't even think that I... 1103 01:07:19,314 --> 01:07:21,516 - Have the insurance card. - Oh no. 1104 01:07:21,550 --> 01:07:23,351 Oh shit! 1105 01:07:23,385 --> 01:07:26,288 Oh, Jesus! God, get the hell back in here! 1106 01:07:26,321 --> 01:07:27,924 - Woo! - I understand, 1107 01:07:27,957 --> 01:07:30,258 but it is my ex-husband's insurance, 1108 01:07:30,292 --> 01:07:31,828 and I can't get a hold of him 1109 01:07:31,861 --> 01:07:34,764 because he's a selfish, irresponsible jerk. 1110 01:07:34,797 --> 01:07:36,966 Actually, this entire thing is his fault. 1111 01:07:36,999 --> 01:07:39,802 - The divorce was very hard... - Honey. Not everyone you meet 1112 01:07:39,836 --> 01:07:41,436 will see your magic. 1113 01:07:41,470 --> 01:07:44,406 Sign here, initial here and sign here. 1114 01:07:44,439 --> 01:07:46,408 Oh shit. 1115 01:07:52,581 --> 01:07:55,017 - 15 messages? - 12 messages? 1116 01:07:55,484 --> 01:07:56,753 Oh! 1117 01:07:57,987 --> 01:08:00,790 - Oh, I'm a bottom. - I know. 1118 01:08:04,827 --> 01:08:06,796 You know, with everything that's happened 1119 01:08:06,829 --> 01:08:08,931 in the last few years, with the divorce and all, 1120 01:08:08,965 --> 01:08:12,034 I just felt like I've lost everything. 1121 01:08:13,836 --> 01:08:15,570 So much has changed. 1122 01:08:15,938 --> 01:08:17,073 Divorce sucks. 1123 01:08:17,106 --> 01:08:19,041 Hah. Yeah. 1124 01:08:20,642 --> 01:08:22,879 But I used to only have one asshole brother 1125 01:08:22,912 --> 01:08:24,781 and now I have you guys. 1126 01:08:26,883 --> 01:08:28,383 I thought I was cursed. 1127 01:08:30,485 --> 01:08:32,789 But now I realize I'm actually pretty lucky. 1128 01:08:40,595 --> 01:08:42,564 Hey. 1129 01:08:42,597 --> 01:08:43,933 How is he? 1130 01:08:43,966 --> 01:08:45,600 Looks like you've had quite a night. 1131 01:08:47,970 --> 01:08:50,438 Why would you do something like this to yourself? 1132 01:08:50,472 --> 01:08:51,841 Sir, he's okay. 1133 01:08:51,874 --> 01:08:53,575 We're just going to keep him overnight. 1134 01:08:56,145 --> 01:08:58,547 None of this would have happened if you hadn't left. 1135 01:09:00,382 --> 01:09:01,951 Actually, that's not true. 1136 01:09:07,489 --> 01:09:08,925 - Oh, it's okay... - Get off me! 1137 01:09:08,958 --> 01:09:10,358 - Danny... - Get off! 1138 01:09:10,392 --> 01:09:11,560 It's okay, Danny. 1139 01:09:11,593 --> 01:09:12,895 Get off me! Get off me! 1140 01:09:12,929 --> 01:09:14,529 - Danny it's okay... - Get off! 1141 01:09:14,563 --> 01:09:16,364 I need some help in here! 1142 01:09:16,398 --> 01:09:17,800 - Get off me! - It's okay, Danny. 1143 01:09:17,834 --> 01:09:20,736 - Get off me! - Will you let them work? 1144 01:09:43,525 --> 01:09:46,661 This is the number to Maple Hill Academy. 1145 01:09:47,096 --> 01:09:49,699 This place saved my little brother's life. 1146 01:09:50,733 --> 01:09:52,768 - It's a school? - Yes. 1147 01:09:52,802 --> 01:09:54,971 A residential program for teen drug addiction. 1148 01:09:56,205 --> 01:09:57,572 Send him away? 1149 01:09:57,606 --> 01:09:59,374 No, never. 1150 01:10:00,442 --> 01:10:01,610 Then I promise you, 1151 01:10:01,643 --> 01:10:03,578 we will be back here again. 1152 01:10:13,823 --> 01:10:16,625 I can move in until the school takes him. 1153 01:10:20,662 --> 01:10:23,099 Okay. We can try that. 1154 01:10:32,174 --> 01:10:34,043 What the hell? 1155 01:10:50,192 --> 01:10:51,827 Geez. 1156 01:10:56,165 --> 01:10:59,135 You have any sevens? 1157 01:10:59,168 --> 01:11:01,871 Hey. Are you guys okay? 1158 01:11:03,638 --> 01:11:05,808 What happened to Courtney? 1159 01:11:05,841 --> 01:11:07,910 She wanted to look like Paul Stanley. 1160 01:11:09,145 --> 01:11:10,980 You guys know better than this. 1161 01:11:14,684 --> 01:11:18,054 Okay um, can you guys go to sleep now, please? 1162 01:11:18,087 --> 01:11:19,855 We'll discuss this in the morning. 1163 01:11:41,609 --> 01:11:44,714 Hey, how's he doin'? 1164 01:11:47,249 --> 01:11:48,550 He's sleeping. 1165 01:11:48,583 --> 01:11:49,651 Finally. 1166 01:11:51,854 --> 01:11:53,189 What happened here? 1167 01:11:54,256 --> 01:11:56,558 They found Danny's pot 1168 01:11:56,591 --> 01:11:58,660 and put it in the pasta casserole. 1169 01:11:58,694 --> 01:12:00,029 Oh no. 1170 01:12:00,930 --> 01:12:02,597 Is everyone okay? 1171 01:12:02,630 --> 01:12:06,235 Yeah, fine. No one ever died from eating pot. 1172 01:12:16,112 --> 01:12:18,080 Hey, don't worry. 1173 01:12:19,315 --> 01:12:21,183 Everybody's going to be okay. 1174 01:12:23,052 --> 01:12:24,920 My situation is crazy, Lisa. 1175 01:12:25,755 --> 01:12:27,622 And now I exposed your kids to this 1176 01:12:27,655 --> 01:12:29,125 when I let you move in, 1177 01:12:29,158 --> 01:12:31,060 knowing that things weren't under control. 1178 01:12:32,161 --> 01:12:33,696 It is not your fault. 1179 01:12:33,729 --> 01:12:35,197 I knew what I was doing. 1180 01:12:36,198 --> 01:12:38,134 I was selfish and impulsive. 1181 01:12:39,835 --> 01:12:45,141 Maybe, a little bit, but the kids are fine. 1182 01:12:45,174 --> 01:12:47,076 Everything is going to be okay. 1183 01:12:48,077 --> 01:12:50,146 I don't know, I thought I was ready for this, but... 1184 01:12:51,080 --> 01:12:54,016 Uh, maybe we moved too fast. 1185 01:12:54,984 --> 01:12:56,886 Well, we're here now. 1186 01:12:56,919 --> 01:12:57,920 I know. 1187 01:12:59,121 --> 01:13:03,893 I... I just, I mean, do you think we made a mistake? 1188 01:13:05,694 --> 01:13:08,931 Are you breaking up with me? 1189 01:13:08,964 --> 01:13:12,667 No, I... I need to help, Danny. 1190 01:13:14,303 --> 01:13:16,739 I should have been there for him and I fucked up. 1191 01:13:18,908 --> 01:13:21,077 You did everything you could. 1192 01:13:22,144 --> 01:13:23,678 I... 1193 01:13:39,895 --> 01:13:41,663 Go be with your son, Charlie. 1194 01:14:14,463 --> 01:14:16,631 Sorry, mom. 1195 01:14:18,467 --> 01:14:20,402 We shouldn't have done it. 1196 01:14:22,271 --> 01:14:23,839 It's not that. 1197 01:14:29,145 --> 01:14:31,280 We're going to have to move again, aren't we? 1198 01:14:38,120 --> 01:14:40,122 I... I don't know. 1199 01:14:48,731 --> 01:14:50,132 Where am I? 1200 01:14:51,133 --> 01:14:52,268 The hospital. 1201 01:14:53,502 --> 01:14:56,305 Why? Am I sick? 1202 01:14:57,506 --> 01:15:00,943 No. You took four tabs of acid. 1203 01:15:03,913 --> 01:15:06,015 Why would I do something stupid like that? 1204 01:15:06,882 --> 01:15:09,251 I have no idea. You tell me. 1205 01:15:11,086 --> 01:15:12,188 Beats me. 1206 01:15:14,156 --> 01:15:15,758 You remember anything? 1207 01:15:17,993 --> 01:15:19,795 They killed John Wick's dog. 1208 01:15:22,097 --> 01:15:23,332 And then? 1209 01:15:25,100 --> 01:15:26,435 And then I woke up here. 1210 01:15:27,002 --> 01:15:28,304 Jesus, Danny. 1211 01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:33,042 Sorry. 1212 01:15:34,009 --> 01:15:35,945 Well, that's not good enough. 1213 01:15:36,812 --> 01:15:38,814 What do you want me to say? 1214 01:15:38,847 --> 01:15:40,416 I don't know, maybe that 1215 01:15:40,449 --> 01:15:41,884 you'll never do anything like this 1216 01:15:41,917 --> 01:15:43,252 the rest of your life. 1217 01:15:46,021 --> 01:15:47,323 Okay. 1218 01:15:49,091 --> 01:15:50,793 You got it. 1219 01:16:07,876 --> 01:16:09,311 I understand. 1220 01:16:10,246 --> 01:16:12,881 You guys are going through a lot right now. 1221 01:16:16,218 --> 01:16:19,154 It's just temporary. I promise. 1222 01:16:23,525 --> 01:16:25,394 This is how it has to be. 1223 01:16:26,262 --> 01:16:27,796 Family first. 1224 01:16:38,874 --> 01:16:40,409 This reminds me when you were little 1225 01:16:40,442 --> 01:16:42,344 and you couldn't sleep and I used to come 1226 01:16:42,378 --> 01:16:44,913 into your room and tell you a story. 1227 01:16:45,414 --> 01:16:46,882 You remember? 1228 01:16:47,916 --> 01:16:49,118 No. 1229 01:16:51,220 --> 01:16:53,022 Want me to tell you a story now? 1230 01:16:53,555 --> 01:16:54,890 Okay. 1231 01:16:57,359 --> 01:16:59,895 Once upon a time in Los Angeles, 1232 01:17:00,596 --> 01:17:04,033 a mild mannered insurance agent, Walter Neff, 1233 01:17:04,066 --> 01:17:06,468 is going on about his day, 1234 01:17:06,502 --> 01:17:09,071 talking to clients and trying to get policies renewed 1235 01:17:11,273 --> 01:17:14,310 when he visits a beautiful woman named Phyllis, 1236 01:17:14,343 --> 01:17:16,045 who's trying to get 1237 01:17:16,078 --> 01:17:18,580 her husband to renew his auto insurance policy. 1238 01:17:20,916 --> 01:17:22,551 Never mind. It's okay. 1239 01:17:23,485 --> 01:17:24,553 Dad. 1240 01:17:25,387 --> 01:17:27,623 It's the story of Double Indemnity. 1241 01:17:27,656 --> 01:17:29,558 You've told it to me a million times. 1242 01:17:31,260 --> 01:17:33,195 Let's just go to bed, okay? 1243 01:17:34,930 --> 01:17:36,398 Sure. 1244 01:17:38,200 --> 01:17:39,902 Goodnight, Dad. 1245 01:17:39,935 --> 01:17:41,270 Goodnight. 1246 01:18:07,697 --> 01:18:09,264 Danny? 1247 01:18:10,666 --> 01:18:12,167 Danny! 1248 01:18:31,620 --> 01:18:33,422 Oh, hey. 1249 01:18:33,455 --> 01:18:35,491 You're here? 1250 01:18:35,524 --> 01:18:38,527 Yeah. Where did you think I was? 1251 01:18:42,431 --> 01:18:45,667 Are you fucking kidding me, motherfuck? 1252 01:18:45,702 --> 01:18:47,536 Holy shit! 1253 01:18:48,404 --> 01:18:49,905 Fuck! 1254 01:18:51,306 --> 01:18:53,609 - You okay? - No, I'm not okay. 1255 01:18:53,642 --> 01:18:55,477 I thought you were just getting arrested! 1256 01:18:56,713 --> 01:18:57,980 No. 1257 01:18:59,214 --> 01:19:01,016 Who were you texting earlier? 1258 01:19:01,684 --> 01:19:03,385 Anna. 1259 01:19:03,419 --> 01:19:05,320 She's dealing with some cyber bullying stuff. 1260 01:19:12,227 --> 01:19:15,631 Do you have any idea how stressful it is 1261 01:19:15,664 --> 01:19:18,367 worrying about you all the time? 1262 01:19:19,435 --> 01:19:21,303 Really? Dad? 1263 01:19:22,705 --> 01:19:24,506 You're going to talk to me about your stress 1264 01:19:24,540 --> 01:19:26,475 and your feelings again. 1265 01:19:27,309 --> 01:19:29,511 You don't think it was stressful for me 1266 01:19:31,146 --> 01:19:33,482 listening to you and mom fighting every night, 1267 01:19:34,383 --> 01:19:36,452 arguing over which side of your family 1268 01:19:36,485 --> 01:19:38,320 my problems come from. 1269 01:19:39,555 --> 01:19:41,691 Blaming each other that I'm fucked up. 1270 01:19:42,591 --> 01:19:44,626 How do you think that makes me feel? 1271 01:19:46,061 --> 01:19:48,397 You don't think I'm my own person, 1272 01:19:48,430 --> 01:19:50,767 capable of making my own choices? 1273 01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:52,434 Of course we do... 1274 01:19:52,468 --> 01:19:54,636 We're... We're just looking for answers. 1275 01:19:55,705 --> 01:19:58,040 How is that looking for answers? 1276 01:19:59,208 --> 01:20:00,743 Screaming at each other? 1277 01:20:01,811 --> 01:20:03,579 Blaming each other? 1278 01:20:06,683 --> 01:20:08,718 You always act like I should be 1279 01:20:08,751 --> 01:20:10,986 so grateful to you guys. 1280 01:20:12,321 --> 01:20:14,389 Saying all that you do for me. 1281 01:20:15,692 --> 01:20:17,259 But how often do you stop 1282 01:20:17,292 --> 01:20:18,795 and ask yourself what it might be like 1283 01:20:18,828 --> 01:20:20,629 to be in my shoes? 1284 01:20:22,832 --> 01:20:24,366 I'm sorry. 1285 01:20:25,702 --> 01:20:28,337 Don't be. It's not about you. 1286 01:20:32,407 --> 01:20:35,077 Who do you think has Anna's back? 1287 01:20:35,110 --> 01:20:36,512 She plays like she's fine 1288 01:20:36,545 --> 01:20:38,748 because she wants to be the good kid. 1289 01:20:38,781 --> 01:20:40,717 But I know it's just an act. 1290 01:20:43,118 --> 01:20:44,419 Yeah. 1291 01:20:46,421 --> 01:20:47,724 Sorry. 1292 01:20:54,229 --> 01:20:56,231 I've decided to go to this new school. 1293 01:21:01,570 --> 01:21:03,138 Okay. 1294 01:21:06,108 --> 01:21:07,576 I'm really scared. 1295 01:21:10,312 --> 01:21:11,714 I'm scared, too. 1296 01:21:14,817 --> 01:21:16,485 That never goes away. 1297 01:21:18,688 --> 01:21:20,322 There's always going to be something new 1298 01:21:20,355 --> 01:21:22,157 to be scared about. 1299 01:21:23,693 --> 01:21:25,695 You're such a good kid, Danny. 1300 01:21:26,295 --> 01:21:29,464 Or... Sorry. Man. 1301 01:21:33,268 --> 01:21:35,304 We're all going to get through this. 1302 01:21:37,874 --> 01:21:39,709 I promise. 1303 01:22:13,375 --> 01:22:15,544 Oh, hey, you the new roomie? 1304 01:22:16,713 --> 01:22:18,347 Yeah. 1305 01:22:18,380 --> 01:22:20,248 Oh, you gon' wan tuck that bad boy in. 1306 01:22:22,250 --> 01:22:23,318 I'm Justin. 1307 01:22:23,352 --> 01:22:24,653 Uh, Danny. 1308 01:22:24,687 --> 01:22:25,888 Nice to meet you, Danny. 1309 01:22:25,922 --> 01:22:27,890 - Where you from? - Columbus. 1310 01:22:27,924 --> 01:22:29,524 You a Buckeye fan? 1311 01:22:29,558 --> 01:22:32,294 Not really. I'm more of a hockey fan. 1312 01:22:32,327 --> 01:22:34,229 They got any Black people in Hockey? 1313 01:22:34,262 --> 01:22:36,899 A few, some of the younger guys, actually. 1314 01:22:36,933 --> 01:22:38,400 Tight. 1315 01:22:38,433 --> 01:22:40,369 Well, we got to get to chapel. 1316 01:22:40,402 --> 01:22:42,304 But you want to come along, we'll save you a seat. 1317 01:22:48,610 --> 01:22:49,879 Love you. 1318 01:22:50,312 --> 01:22:51,513 Love you, too. 1319 01:22:53,750 --> 01:22:54,917 Take care. 1320 01:22:56,819 --> 01:22:58,420 Thanks, Dad. 1321 01:23:22,244 --> 01:23:24,346 Please don't touch me. It makes my skin crawl. 1322 01:23:32,354 --> 01:23:34,389 Relationships end, Deborah. 1323 01:23:34,423 --> 01:23:35,925 Just a fact of life. 1324 01:23:40,029 --> 01:23:41,964 You just didn't see my magic. 1325 01:23:45,768 --> 01:23:48,437 Get out, you can walk the rest of the way. 1326 01:23:48,470 --> 01:23:49,772 What? 1327 01:23:51,506 --> 01:23:52,875 It's 100 hundred miles. 1328 01:23:52,909 --> 01:23:54,609 I said out. 1329 01:24:43,325 --> 01:24:47,764 Corn flakes, popcorn. 1330 01:24:48,663 --> 01:24:50,398 Corn cakes. 1331 01:24:53,602 --> 01:24:54,937 Cornucopia. 1332 01:25:00,109 --> 01:25:01,376 Corn. 1333 01:25:22,031 --> 01:25:23,733 Hey old man. 1334 01:25:23,766 --> 01:25:26,368 How about we get you off those bad knees? 1335 01:25:29,806 --> 01:25:31,406 Danny okay? 1336 01:25:33,441 --> 01:25:35,343 I think he's going to be fine. 1337 01:25:47,690 --> 01:25:49,424 Have a nice day, 1338 01:25:49,457 --> 01:25:50,893 my little squeaky toy. 1339 01:27:06,799 --> 01:27:11,799 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 89421