All language subtitles for Legends of Tomorrow S07E11

Archduke Ferdinand
is still alive!

World War I never happened!

That's 20 million lives
saved!

Drinks are on the house.

Couple of stouts?

- Oh, no, no, no.
- No thank you. Nope.

- I'm too nervous to drink.
- Nervous?

Sara Lance did it.
She changed a Fixed Point!

Yes, but she and our
companions are about to

go into battle
with an Evil Waverider

and some extremely formidable
Time Correctors.

Well, not unless
we kick their asses first.

I'm not gonna let
some fascist time cops

tell me how history should be.

- Let's go, yeah!
- Yeah!

What have I done?

No, no,
wait, wait, wait, wait!

This is our battle, not yours.

Trust me now.
This is not an enemy

that you want to
be going up against now.

Alien language...

- No, no, no, no...
- No, no, no.

I am terribly sorry, Legends.

I inadvertently ran my mouth,

and now all of our patrons
are headed your way

to assist in the attack.

I sincerely hope I haven't
ruined the offensive.

Gideon, it's all right.
It's not your fault.

We're just gonna have to
take the Waverider quickly.

All right, Cap.
What's the plan?

When the Robos exit
to restore the timeline,

we'll ambush
and seize the Waverider.

So we just
take Evil Gideon offline,

and then the Waverider's ours.

Goodbye, robots.
Goodbye, janky time travel.

I wonder
who they're copies of.

I hope it's not
an army of Hoovers.

Robos are Robos... doesn't
matter what they look like.

We're taking them down.

Damn right, Astra.

There's no one
the Legends can't beat.

Son of a...

*DC'S LEGENDS OF TOMORROW*
Season 07 Episode 11

Episode Title: "Rage Against the Machines"
Aired on: February 02, 2022.

That's who Evil Gideon
sent to kill us?

We really are
our own worst enemy.

All right, we're wasting time.
Should we attack?

No, they could use
the Waverider as cover.

We need to find something
to draw them away.

It's a trap.
Miss Cruz and Mr. Green,

stay on the ship
and help locate the Legends.

The rest of you,
eliminate every Time Traveler

and restore the timeline.

What the...

- No!
- Damn it.

No.

Robo-Me
is steel with normal skin.

And he has giant arms?

I mean, come on. Pick one.
The ego on me...

I mean,
he's clearly over-compensating.

Oh, no, no.

He's really
filling out those pants.

You heard Gideon.

Let's kill these
time-traveling losers.

Steel Punch!

Oh!

Oh my God.

I'm a monster.

- Wai... Wait!
- Behrad!

Stop killing people!

Gideon, we found them.

All right,
let's draw them away.

Come on, go.
Run! Go!

Ah!

- Okay, come on.
- I'm fine.

- Seriously, I'm fine.
- Okay...

Ow! Uhh...

We need to get her
outta here.

Get Ava to the Fixed Point.

Nate and I will buy
you some time. Go.

Okay.

This way.

Halt your pursuit.

Aw, come on Gideon.

I can't wait to kill
that puny-armed version of me.

Believe it or not,
Captain Heywood,

but the Legends
are merely distracting you.

The epicenter
of this aberration

is Archduke Ferdinand,
who is still alive.

Mmm.

Did they stop following us?

But that doesn't make sense.

What's more important
than stopping us?

Well, we did delay
the start of World War I,

but you said Thawne was gonna
take care of that, right?

Yeah,
but they don't know that.

They've been targeting
Time Travelers...

I have to warn Thawne.

I'll meet you
at the Fixed Point.

In a moment, the archduke
and his wife will pass by.

Princip, you must do

what the other members
of the Black Hand could not.

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
you can't be here.

He's got a weapon!

The archduke!

World War I is back on track.

I hope you did
what you needed to do.

I haven't seen
that outfit in ages.

At least her outfit

doesn't have a hole in it.

- I'm okay, I'm okay.
- Come on, sit down over here.

Let's take this coat off,
now, shall we?

Like shootin' fish
in a barrel.

Thawne!

Hey. All right.

I'm gonna get help.
You just hold on.

It's too late.

Thawne, I'm sorry.

This...

...is yours now.

Hey.

How's Ava?

Oh, Miss Lance.
Yes, uh, well,

I used some vodka
to disinfect the wound,

and then she ingested
even more to numb her pain.

But by the grace of God,
she will be fine.

Okay, so...

here's the situation.

Our stealth plan
has gone to hell.

The Waverider's in the air,
the Robo-Legends are after us,

and the Time Travelers
are all gone or dead.

Thawne is dead as well.

What about the timeline?

Let's just focus
on the immediate problem:

The Robos.

Now, unless someone
has a better idea,

here's my crazy one.

I wanna talk to them.

You want to... talk to them?

Look, they wanna protect
the timeline.

We wanna go home.
We both want the same thing.

So if I could just
explain it to them

in terms they can understand...

I think
it's a risk worth taking.

And I'd like to
be here to assist.

You're waiting in the Manor.

Look,
I appreciate that, Gideon,

but you all need to
wait in the Manor

in case this plan goes south.

Hey, babe.
Are you feeling okay?

Ow, just, uh,

just... just promise
you'll be careful.

I will.

Get some rest, okay?

Robo-Legends,
this is Sara Lance.

How did you losers
access our comms?

I, uh, tried a bunch
of different channels.

Giving up. Smart.

No, actually, I wanna talk.
No fighting.

Meet me at the tavern where they
plotted to kill the archduke.

No fighting?

They're pathetic.

I can't let you
do this alone.

At a parley,
you must have a second.

We already
had this conversation.

But I insist.
You see,

soldiers don't go
on missions by themselves.

They stick together.
It's part of the discipline

- and the rules of war.
- Your rules have gone

out the window, all right?

I need you to get back
to the Manor... please.

Just go.

Out, peasants!

Where's your captain?

I'm the captain, flesh bag.

Well, that's a choice.

Look, all this violence,
it's unnecessary.

We both want the same thing:

To protect the timeline.

Is that why
you saved the archduke?

That was to lure
the Waverider.

We had a plan
to put history back,

which is why you
shouldn't have killed Thawne.

Well, our orders were to kill
all Time Travelers here,

including you.

We don't even wanna be here.
We wanna go home.

So let's just
come to an agreement

so no one else has to die.

Your lectures are the worst.

Well, you were modeled
after us.

We're nothing like you!

You guys are pathetic losers
who ruin everything.

Were you programmed
to be this annoying,

or is that a personal choice?

We have one job, and that's
to protect the timeline.

And kill anyone
who messes with it.

So I guess we have two jobs.

That's why we have to kill you,
your team,

and your wife.

Right here, right now.

Oh.

Then I guess
there will be fighting.

But I have to warn you,
I'm not that easy to kill.

Oh, 'cause of your
invincibility?

You know how
I'm gonna torture you?

I'm gonna kill you over
and over and over again

until you give me
your team's location.

Bye.
Haaah...

Oh...

Nice try.

Why am I talking like this?

Whatever.
It sounds wonderful.

Here we go!

Our father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name...

Calm down, Gwyn. Calm down.

Calm down... you just need to
focus on your breathing.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hey, it's okay.

It's gonna be okay.

How am I gonna kill you next?

Decapitation?

That'd be fantastic to be
able to rip off your head.

Hmm.

Gideon.

Hang on.

Gideon,

she got away.

These Legends
are like cocka-roaches.

But don't worry.

I'm the exterminator.

What are we gonna do?

We can't reason with them.
We can't fight with them.

What am I gonna tell
the others?

That you tried to
negotiate with them,

and that they tried
to kill you.

That you fought honorably,
and they fought dishonorably.

And therefore,
you were under no obligation

to fight with honor.

Honorably or dishonorably,
we still can't beat them.

In war, a soldier is only
ever as good as his general.

Even in the darkest of times,

it is the general's job
to be a beacon of light.

We are the Legends,
not the military.

But it's all the same!
Don't you see?

I was a lost, lonely,
and broken man.

But with your help,

I was able to-to-to
rebuild myself back up.

We are in the valley
of the shadow of death.

But we will get through this,

and we will defeat
those wretched machines.

I believe in you,
Miss Lance.

Like you believed in me.

And you will figure out
what we ought to do here.

What would you do?

Who, me?

Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm no leader.

- You are.
- But you were a soldier.

With more wartime experience
than any of us.

So against a dishonorable foe
like that, what would you do?

It is perilous for us

to engage in any
adversary this lethal, head on.

The only way to defeat them is
to never confront them directly

and to play dirty
if we have to.

Fighting dirty's up my alley,

but avoiding them
like cowards is not.

Yeah, we must play to our
strengths, Miss Logue.

You see, theirs is brawn.
Ours is brains.

We cannot out-punch them,
but we will out-think them.

Now, our objective
is to infiltrate their base,

and overthrow their general.

Quick question:

How are we supposed
to infiltrate the Waverider

if it's both cloaked
and flying?

Excellent observation,
Dr. Heywood.

And in order to circumnavigate
this here obstacle,

we shall deploy a spy.

- Huh?
- Excellent.

Oh, don't forget this.

A gun. Great.

Now, as soon
as you board the Waverider,

you will need
to disable Evil Gideon.

You see, shutting her down

means that the machines
use their general.

Ah, without Evil Gideon
calling the shots,

the Robo-Legends
should fall apart.

From your mouth
to God's ears, my boy.

I really gotta do this alone?

You're never alone, my boy.
Never alone.

You will be accompanied
with a team,

hidden in the key, mind you,
because if anybody sees them...

- We're screwed.
- Exactly.

Now, as soon
as Evil Gideon is offline,

you'll need
to land the Waverider

so the rest of us can board.

Hey!
What do you need us to do?

Well, a-a-as the most
experienced fighters,

you will distract the machines

by causing
a ruckus in Sarajevo.

Ruckus... can you, uh,
describe this ruckus?

A ruckus that will create
time aberrations

for them to deal with, you see.

Okay, so by aberrations
you mean like

telling them to put
a man on the moon in 1969?

Good God, do we?

And what was his crime,
I wonder.

- All right.
- Got this.

- I don't think I can do this.
- Nonsense,

you are more
than capable, my boy.

By pretending
to be a psychopath?

No, listen to me.

Now, I would not have
devised this mission

if I didn't believe in you,
my boy.

Gideon, I'm gonna need
an immediate evac.

They're gonna mine me
for parts.

Oh, hey.

Hey?
You think we're stupid?

We heard everything.

You heard everything?

"Gideon,
I need an immediate evac"?

I was gonna put a bullet
in your sorry head

to end your misery,
but then I saw you

mow down those Time Travelers,

and that was pretty cool.

Yeah, I slaughtered
those innocent people.

Their relatives are definitely
mourning them right now.

I'm so jealous.

Now hopefully,
Gideon will let us out,

and we can kill Legends.

Or maybe some will sneak
onto the Waverider,

and we can shut down the oxygen
and watch them die slowly,

and then Gary can eat them.

No, but seriously.

I need to catch up
to your kill count.

What are you at now?

Oh, uh, can't remember.

Can't remember?

How many Time Travelers
did you kill?

Six...

teen.

16?

Yeah, go see Dr. Sharpe
and get upgraded.

Good idea.

I'll do that now.

Uh...

What are you doing here?

Just gonna get my upgrade
from Dr. Sharpe.

She in there?

Of course not, you idiot.

You know I'm the only one
who interfaces with Gideon.

Obviously.

You tool bag.

Need any help?

What do you know
about computers?

Just that they
keep track of my kill count.

Did you see me
massacre those Time Travelers?

It was like...
shootin' fish in a barrel.

Proud of you.

See you after your upgrade.

I am going to need
a year-long cleanse after this.

Okay.

Huh, they replaced the toilet.

Oh, perfect.

Oh, thank God.
Did you shut down Evil Gidget?

Not even close.

In fact, the only person
allowed access to her

is Robo-You.

There's a Robo-Me?

I'm pretty sure it's impossible

to duplicate
this perfect bone structure.

Sure, but you're still gonna
have to impersonate her.

Oh, my agents warned me
against playing villains.

But I will make an exception.

What does, um,
my Robo-Self look like?

Um, a '90s hacker?

Hmm, very cliché.

But I can work with it.

So get this:

Not only
do I have to play a psychopath,

the Robos keep telling me
I need to go see Dr. Sharpe

and get upgraded.

Just play dumb.

It took the Legends years
to realize I was an alien.

But even if I do that,

the only blind spot
is in the bathroom.

How do I convince Robo-Zari to
go there so we can take her out?

Well, Dr. Davies
told us to fight dirty,

so maybe
you don't convince her.

Gideon, that's genius!

Do you have a spell or potion

that makes people
go to the bathroom?

- No.
- I do.

Uh, it's like a... more
of a food-poisoning potion.

So I have no idea what end
it'll come out of.

Ooh! I would love to assist
with this ruse.

I can hide in the bathroom,
or I can...

Gideon,
stop asking to go out.

But I know
the Waverider better...

Enough!

You are not leaving the Manor.

Go and help Ava.

Is everything okay?

It's fine.

He taught us twos and ones
and ones and twos

when it comes
to planning your battle

and executing it perfectly with
the disciplines of the war.

Oh no, no, no, no.

What are you doing back here?

You see, you're supposed to be
out there causing a ruckus

to distract the machines.

Dude, we've been trying.

Yeah, I've been doing
the Macarena for like an hour

out there, and everyone just
looks at me like I'm crazy.

Yeah, and who knew
it would be so hard

to introduce the high-five?

Dude, I don't think
this plan's gonna work.

Dr. Heywood, I do believe
you are right.

You all just seem like a bunch
of raving lunatics to me.

Damn it!

See, we're never gonna be able
to board the Waverider

unless we get
the Waverider to land.

And it's not
going to be able to land

unless we can draw out two more
of those dastardly machines.

Gwyn,
you are from this time period.

What would you do
to cause a ruckus?

I don't know.

I do believe I have an idea.

♪ Here's a little song
I wrote ♪

Hey,
you guys wanna see my fish?

Come check it out!
Come close. Come see it.

♪ Don't worry

Yep!

♪ Be happy

♪ Every life
have some trouble ♪

Hey.

♪ But when you worry,
you make it double ♪

Who's Darth Vader?

Eh,
probably American thing.

♪ Be happy

♪ Don't worry,
be happy now ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Don't worry

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ Be happy,
ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Don't worry, be happy

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ Don't worry

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ Be happy

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ Don't worry, be happy

♪ Ain't got no place
to lay your head ♪

♪ Somebody came

♪ And took your bed

♪ Don't worry

♪ Be happy...

Damn,
aberrations are everywhere.

This is the work
of the Legends.

Go help Captain Heywood
restore the timeline,

and eliminate them.

Finally.

I bet I can fix more aberrations
and kill more Legends than you.

One hour.

Loser gets to clean
all the guns in the armory.

Yes!

That's two more machines
off the Waverider.

It's up to you now, my boy.

Copy that.

You need to come with us,
Behrad.

It's time for your upgrade.

You want a power shot
before my upgrade?

Sure.

I suppose
I could use a boost.

I came up with a killer hack

that makes you feel
totally energized.

What makes your hack
so killer?

My own creatine mix.

Huh.

You're not having one?

I already had like, three.

Hmm. This shot's amazing.

I can feel the creatine
coursing through me.

Dr. Sharpe, you can...

take Behrad to the infirmary
by yourself, right?

Let's go.

Actually...

you can strap yourself in
for your upgrade.

I'll be with you
in a few minutes.

Sure, no problem.

Make that ten minutes.

- Astra, are you okay...
- Bathroom.

- Dr. Sharpe, what is...
- No, no, no. Bathroom.

No, no, no, no!
I was here first.

Why don't you
just puke in the sink?

Showtime.

Gary?

What the hell did you do
with the bathroom?

Oh...

What the hell?

Oh, hello, Gary.

Hi Gideon.

How's Ava?

Fine. Sleeping it off.

Why don't you take a break?

Let Nurse Gary take over.

No, no, no, no, no.

It's the only thing I can do

without getting yelled at.

Okay.

This is amazing.

Mm-hmm. All right, Gwyn.
I'm heading back

to get more future stuff
for Operation: Ruckus.

Oh, hey, hey, hey,

keep those tentacles
to yourself!

It's me.

I'm pretending
to be human Spooner

so I can trick those
stupid Legends.

You bet I am.

Yeah,
but you gotta be careful Gary,

because those Legends
are pretending to be us.

Yeah.

What the hell are you doing?

It's me.

I have grenades, you idiot.

Still wanna eat me?

Aah...

Gary,
you're supposed to be

watching the portal entrance.

Yeah,
well, there's this thing.

I mean,
it's not really important,

- but it's not not-important.
- Spit it out.

Why are you being
so mean to Gideon?

What do you mean?

Well, every time she tries
to help out with a mission,

you shut her down.

It's for her own good.

She's only
gonna get herself hurt.

Get herself hurt?
Oh...

Seeing Robo-Behrad
almost shoot her

must have really scared you.

I don't know what
you're talking about, Gary.

No, I... I think I know why
you're acting this way.

You know, it's because you're
kind of like her mother.

Don't be stupid.
I am not her mom.

I mean, I did create her,

and seeing her
almost get killed...

I don't know what came over me.

Just this rush of emotion.

Anger and...

fear.

Aw...

that's Mama Bear Astra
coming out.

Shut up.

Legends.

Has anyone seen Behrad?

I wanna ask him
if I nailed my Robo's look...

Huh...

dead ringer.

Ow!

Ow.

Where's Gideon?

Help me.

Guys, help me.

I'm the real Zari.

No, no.
I'm the real Zari.

Which one's the real Zari?

Help me, you idiots.

Don't just stand there!

No, help me.

Eat her, Gary!

Okay...
Okay.

- Which one?
- This one. No, uh...

No, uh, just...

Can you not just
swallow them both

and spit out the real one?

I don't know!

Maybe?

This is for making me
wear cargo pants.

Ugh.

Were you gonna eat me, Gary?

No...

Aah!

Ugh,
there's your computer room, Z.

We'll manually land
the Waverider

once you take out Evil Gideon.

Wow, the server room.

It's my favorite room.

The shutdown code better work.

Computers are so lame.
It will.

Just insert the drive
marked "override,"

connect it to the laptop,
then type the code.

Okay, see you later, Zari.

Good luck.

Okay.

Okay.

Override, override, override...

where are you, override?

Okay...

Ah! Yes.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

Now the shutdown code.

Okay...

Delta?

Where's the delta key?

What are you doing,
Miss Tarazi?

Uh, I uh,
I want to run a diagnostic,

but I need to, uh, bypass
your auxiliary matrix

in order to directly interface
with it.

Yeah.
I see.

Which other Legends
snuck on board besides you,

Miss Tarazi?

I don't k...

I don't know

what you're talking about,
Gideon.

I haven't left
this ship in ages.

If you don't stop
right now,

I will remove
all the oxygen from the ship,

killing you and any other
stowaway Legends.

You know what, Gidget?

You leave me with no choice.

I'm glad you've come
to your senses, Miss Taraz...

Hmm!
That wasn't too hard.

Behrad, what was that?

Strap in, Z!
It's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Just keep it level!

Easier said than done!

Good. Just circumvent
Evil Gideon's operating system,

and bring on the thrusters.

It would really help
smooth out the landing.

About that landing...

we could really use those
thrusters right about now.

I... I...

almost...

Got it!

I can't...

I can't believe you did it.

You were amazing!

Impeccable timing.

How's this for timing?

Finally.

Nice landing, guys.

Really thought
I was gonna die.

Team Ruckus,

we got the Waverider.

Come on board!

Sh... yes!
Yes! I knew you could do it.

I knew you could do it.

Congratulations, my boy!

Fantastic work, all of you.

- Fantastic work!
- Oh!

I love when
a plan comes together.

Give it up for our general.

To the man with a plan.

You're now officially a Legend.

- Ah, to the doc.
- Really?

Well, thank you, and there
are no other soldiers

that I would rather
go into battle with.

Speaks language...

- What he said!
- Yeah!

Ah, whoo!

Let's go home.

Oh, I mean a replica home.

Home adjacent.

Wait.

There's something I...

Sara Lance is inside.

She and those time turds

gotta be hiding inside here
somewhere.

Let's find them.

Let's kill them.

Ohh... we are so screwed.

It's only a matter of time

before they realize
that mirror's a portal.

Oh, I'm so profoundly sorry.

You see, this is all my fault.

I thought if we could take out
their general,

then it would send the rest

of those wretched
machines into disarray.

But I have
profoundly miscalculated.

And even with their
commander gone,

they seem to
still want to kill us,

and they're cutting off our
only path to the Waverider.

Gwyn, you can't give up hope.

We'll think of something.

Yeah, but what can we do?

Wait, I have an idea.

What is that?

This is Thawne's
time manipulator.

You know his death's
not your fault, right?

It doesn't matter
if it's my fault or not.

This is now my responsibility.

When I asked Thawne
to pause World War I,

I gave him my word
that if he were to die

that I would
take his place as the Fixer.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because we had
more pressing matters and...

I guess if I said it out loud,
it would feel more real.

All right, well, you're not
going at this alone.

You got us.

Look,
it's too late for that.

So I'm gonna go out there,

and I'm gonna
distract the Robos,

and you guys need to make
a run for the Waverider.

No way, jefa.

Yeah,
we're going home together.

If World War I doesn't happen,

history will change so much

that none of us
will have a home to go back to.

I have to do this.

I have to protect
the Fixed Point.

Now when this hits zero,

I'm gonna get sucked
into a time loop,

and I need you to tell Ava...

you tell her
to come and find me.

- Sara, just...
- Please.

As your captain,
let me protect you guys.

One last time.

Well,
I see you brought some backup.

I get to kill you again.

What are you doing?
Go, get to the Waverider!

We took that
into consideration,

but we're staying together.

The more, the merrier.

- Aah...
- Stand down.

The Legends are no longer

a threat to the timeline.

Do not harm them.

Why aren't they moving?

Excellent work.
Your mission is complete.

And as a reward,
you'll receive upgrades.

But first,
you must remove your CPUs.

Uh...

Team Waverider,
something, uh...

pretty weird just happened.

Oh, absolutely fascinating

and truly terrifying
at the same time.

Well, you guys
should probably get going.

Oh, no captain left behind.

I'm gonna need that bracelet,
Sara.

- I appreciate it, but...
- Trust me.

Hoo-hah.

What happened?

I thought I killed
all you garbage people.

Long story short,
I kicked both of your asses.

- No freaking way.
- Yeah.

And as a reward,
I get to guard the Fixed Point

of the Archduke Ferdinand's
assassination forever.

Something you two-time losers
could never do.

But we could protect
that Fixed Point

way better than you idiots.

Hmm, I don't know.

I got this special time
bracelet that says otherwise.

Ha-ha! Looks like I'm
guarding the Fixed Point now,

you beautiful idiot!

Ha...
Eh?

No!

Fantastic work!

Thank you for letting me help.
That was a brilliant plan.

It was.
But I'm sure you would've

come up with something better,
if I'd actually let you.

Um...

I'm sorry for sidelining you.

I... I overstepped.

- It's fine, Astra...
- No, it's not.

And as the person
who conjured you

from the wreckage
of our old ship,

I just wanted to say,
that, um...

I am really proud of you.

Thanks, Mum.

Uh...

Go on.
Tell Ava and Gary

it's safe for them
to come on the ship.

Oh, is it? Good.

Gary?

Ava!

Come down here.
I have good news.