All language subtitles for The Chris Rock Show s02e08 Jesse Jackson.eng

♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

SPEAKER 1: Oh, man.

What's he doing
in this neighborhood?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

SPEAKER 2:
I'm gonna get robbed. I know it.

SPEAKER 1: Just keep walking.
Don't act scared.

SPEAKER 2:
He's probably got a gun.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

You want something, man?

-You talking to me?
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Well, I must be talking to you.

Well, what do you want?

No, I'm asking what you want.
You want something?

Yeah.

-Maybe I do.
-Well what you want, sucker?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

I want this.

-♪ (ROMANTIC MELODY PLAYING) ♪
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

NARRATOR: Gay sex brings
men together

no matter what their race.

Gay Sex. It's color blind.

Brought to you by The Church
of Latter Day Gay Sex.

♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ANNOUNCER: From New York City,
it's The Chris Rock Show.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

ANNOUNCER: Tonight,
the Reverend Jesse Jackson,

musical guest Rakim,

plus, musical director
Grandmaster Flash.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Chris Rock!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

(AUDIENCE WHISTLING)

Thank you!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

Welcome to the show.
Welcome to the show.

Thank you all for coming out.

Let's see,
what happened this week?

This happened this week.
Tuesday was Election Day.

And Giuliani was reelected.

-Giuliani. See.
-(AUDIENCE BOOING)

See, y'all boo.
But none of y'all voted, did ya?

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)
-None of y'all voted, see.

And next year to increase
the Black turnout,

the city is planning
on releasing

-a campaign soundtrack.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-(LAUGHS)
-AUDIENCE MEMBER: Mustang.

Yeah, that will get
brothers interested

-in the whole campaign.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

What else happened after that?

What else happened?
Marv Albert was on 20/20.

Marv Albert, 20/20 tonight.

That's right Marv Albert
agreed to be interviewed

by Barbara Walters,
but he had one hitch. One hitch.

He would only be interviewed
if Hugh Downs got to watch.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

What else is going on?

Big controversy
over Murphy Brown, that's right.

Murphy Brown, she's gonna smoke
some weed this week.

That's right. There's a big
controversy on Murphy Brown.

She smoked weed
to relieve nausea

from being on chemotherapy.

That's right.
Now, even more controversy

is on next week.

The cast of Suddenly Susan
smokes some weed

to relief nausea from being
on Suddenly Susan.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

(CHEERING)

Last week in Illinois,
there was a Halloween contest,

a costume contest.

And somebody won for wearing
a Ku Klux Klan outfit.

They won for wearing
a Klan outfit.

And the judges say,

"Hey, we didn't know
it was a Klan outfit.

We thought it was just a ghost
that hated Black people!"

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)
-(CHUCKLES)

They thought it was...
(LAUGHS)

...it was Klanny,
the friendly ghost.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

This weekend Evander Holyfield,
my man Evander

-the-real-deal Holyfield...
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)

Holyfield...
fights Michael Moore.

Now,
it's Holyfield's first fight

since that last fight
with Tyson.

Now, they asked Holyfield
if he's gonna do

any special preparations.

And Holyfield said, "Oh, yeah,
I know what I'm gonna do.

I'm going to put
some hot sauce on my head."

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

What else happened
this week?

This week Tiger Woods said
he's getting death threats.

-Definitely--
We knows he's Black now. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

Tiger Woods-- (CHUCKLES)

I don't know what I am,
now you know.

Tiger Woods is getting
death threats.

And our experts believe
the threats may come

from a disturbed white man
who resents the success

of young Black men.

And now, they have narrowed
it down to approximately

-79 million suspects.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

(CHEERING)

(CHUCKLES) Seventy-nine million.
Who could it be?

More sports news.
Shaquille O'Neal, Shaq Daddy,

was suspended for one game
and fined 10,000 dollars

for pimp slapping
Greg Ostertag.

(CHUCKLES) That's right,
of Utah. Now, you know,

the fight didn't have anything
to do with the game.

You know, Ostertag just wanted
his three dollars back

-for renting Kazaam.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

(CHUCKLES)

Did you see Shaq in that hat?
Come on.

And finally, what's the guy,
Nushawn Williams,

the guy who knowingly
gave AIDS to young girls,

has been diagnosed
with being a schizophrenic.

Schizophrenic, you know,
and the prosecutor says,

"I don't care
how many personalities you have,

-they all got the same dick!"
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

(CHEERING)

So...

Okay. Now, tonight, normally,
I don't point out, you know,

people in the audience.
But tonight,

we have a celebrity
in the audience. And--

Now, let's give a big hand
to the winner

of the New York City Marathon,
John Kagwe.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

CHRIS ROCK: Con--

Congratulations, John.

(COUGHS)

John, when did you know
you had the race won?

(PANTS)

John, are you planning
on running in the Olympics?

(COUGHS)

Well, thanks for being with us,
John. And congratulations.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

Okay. We got
a great show tonight.

We got the
Reverend Jesse Jackson

-in the house.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

We got the "Microphone Fiend,"
Rakim is in the house!

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

And don't forget to give it up
for my man

Grandmaster Flash!

(SCRATCHING)

Now, this past Tuesday
was Election Day.

You know, the Election Day!

And this year, I decided
to get more involved

with the democratic process.

So, I hit the streets
and spoke to representatives

from each political party
to find out what were my options

as a voter. Check it out.

The Republicans are the party
to end slavery.

They're the party that elected
the first Blacks.

They're the party
that established

Harvard University
in Washington D.C.

Did they give you that hat?

Great advances
helping consumers,

helping our environment,
helping our children,

have really come out
of the Democratic party.

Well, you should be independent
like I am.

Why should Chris Rock
become a communist?

Well, because, man,
first of all you'd make

all the headlines
across the world.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

We believe the drug war
is totally wrong.

And prohibition is wrong
in a free society.

-What's your favorite drug?
-Marijuana.

Marijuana. That's a shock.

What would your first act
be as president?

Now, first I would break

the diplomatic relations
with Canada.

We advocate
nonviolent resistance

the way Martin Luther King
and Gandhi did.

What did Canada
ever do to you?

-Quite a lot of things.
-There's a lot of cool Canadians

out there, man.

Don't you like Michael J. Fox?

He should be a citizen
of the United States.

He's been here for, what,
12, 14, 16 years?

Actually, Craig,
I've been here 18 years.

Oh, and a word of advice,

you might want to lay off
the Canadian bacon.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

You-- you're the white guy
who voted for Al Sharpton.

Yeah, am I the only one?

-I doubt it.
-I don't know.

We're trying to find
another one.

How long do you think it would
take us to kick Canada's ass?

Four minutes.

Yo, Schoonmaker,
I think it'd take about

three minutes for me
to kick your ass.

What would someone
have to do to provoke you?

Like, would you ever hit--
strike back?

I've never been able to solve

anything in my life
by getting angry.

What about now?
What about now, bitch?

I try to train myself to never
get angry with people.

-I always try to figure--
-Shut the fuck up!

Yo, I'll kill you,
you pacifist motherfucker!

Shut up!

The first thing we would do
is launch a national campaign

for full employment
for everyone.

Do you hold down
a steady job?

-Yes, I do.
-CHRIS: What do you do?

I drive a forklift.

CHRIS: You drive a forklift?

Do you think
they should legalize crack?

Yes.

-How about heroin?
-Yes.

Is there anything in the world
that should be illegal ?

Murder.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

Pornography should be kept
away from children.

But you know Abraham Lincoln

bought pornography
for 1,000 dollars.

-♪ (COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Now, you can go and buy
a piece of nonsense,

which I won't undo-- uncover
for less than five dollars.

This is great.

I mean, I'd show it
to you-- No, no.

I think
I would have a heart attack

just looking at it.

Come on. The minute
you make your first dollar,

you join the party.
When you see the--

But they don't have any
Black people except for you.

Yeah. In fact, I've known some
nice people in pornography

like Candida Royalle.

Your husband's
a Black Republican, too?

No, he's a Democrat.
But he votes Republican.

He tells you this,

so you won't hit him
upside the head with a hat.

No.

-What's her name? Diana Hanson.
-Yeah. Diana Hanson.

-Don't beat me up now.
-Well, I don't do that.

Don't stab me
with your Republican knife.

I'll put you in lotion and let
you just soften to death.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHS, CHEERS)

Yeah. Hyapatia Lee.

And what's her name?
Candy Samples.

She gives you
plenty of samples.

-(CHRIS LAUGHING)
-Yeah. She's great. She's great.

Democrats are provably
better dancers.

♪ (WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

Let me ask you this.
Are democrats better dancers

than Republicans?

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

(AUDIENCE HOOTING)

My next guest
has run for president

of the United States twice
and is founder

of the Rainbow Coalition.

Please welcome the Reverend
Jesse Jackson.

-♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

(AUDIENCE WHISTLING)

Look at it.

-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, WHISTLING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-They love you, Jesse.
-(AUDIENCE SHOUTING)

Oh, my God.

Let me just say right now,
I'm a big fan.

The first time I ever voted
was for you.

First time I even thought
about voting was for you. I--

-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING)
-Like, I--

First time,
it was a passionate vote.

I mean, I voted since,

but it was just-- I might
as well have been getting a paper or something.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-It was like,

"Yeah, I'll vote for Clinton.
Here you go."

But when I voted for you,
it was from my heart. Now...

-what do you do, Jesse? I mean--
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

-(CHUCKLES)
-We see you at the rallies.

And what-- I mean--

-I suppose--
-This is like an honest question.

Indeed it is, you know,

when I look at the young people
here tonight,

I fight for freedom.
I fight for the American Dream.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, CHEERING)

I--

I went to jail July 17, 1960

because I couldn't use
a library.

I went to jail because
we could not use

a downtown eating facility.

And that struggle
has not stopped.

In some sense, we all fight
for the American Dream.

And the American Dream
is on the assault.

If the American Dream
is one big tent

where all of us live
with equal protection

under the law,
and equal opportunity,

equal actions and fair share,
the dream is on the attack.

And so, why I do fight?

Because every city
I visit, Chris,

there are two new buildings,
new ballpark and a new jail.

And somehow, locking youth up
rather than lifting them up

is not right, and so I fight.

-CHRIS: That's right.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS, CHEERS)

But it's like,
wait, you're here,

so I might
as well just ask questions.

Okay, we say affirmative action
isn't a Black thing.

We say welfare
isn't a Black thing.

But any time there's a rally
to keep anything going,

the white people
don't show up.

-It's just us marching.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

Shouldn't we just pull back
some time and say,

"We ain't marching
for y'all no more."

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-'Cause it makes us look bad.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-It makes us look-- You know,

if we the only ones out there,
"We want it,"

we look like-- we look bad.

Well, I think there are probably
two ways to look at it.

Number one, affirmative action,

it's mostly for white,
and female, and young.

CHRIS: I know,
but if you have a rally

and there's only Black people
there, call off the rally.

-And--
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)

And as bad as that is,
what's worse than that--

You know what I mean?

What's worse than that, though,
if nobody shows up.

-You're right.
-And, so--

But if we have a welfare rally,
I know there's more white people on welfare.

But if only Black people there,
call it off.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-(LAUGHS)

'Cause it just-- It just looks
bad. It just looks bad.

But then
when there's no protest,

-there's no progress.
-Yeah, but if it's just us

then they're like,
"Oh, them niggas just want

-some free money."
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

I mean, suppose Rosa Parks
had waited for white people.

-You're right, okay.
-I mean, suppose

Dr. King had waited
for Billy Graham.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-I mean, so--

-CHRIS: Ooh! Whoo!
-Whoo!

-And so-- (LAUGHS)
-Ooh!

-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)
-(BOTH CHUCKLE)

I mean, There is
and will always be more whites,

and browns, and Blacks.

There's nothing wrong with us
leading the way.

We are also capable of leading.

And we have led the movement
to humanize America.

We've led the movement
for gender equality

and racial justice. And so,

there's nothing wrong with us
using our moral authority

-and our sense of survival...
-Okay.

...to fight to open up the doors
for everybody. And that's--

At the end of the day,
the dream is

everybody having protection
under one big tent.

CHRIS: Okay. I'm down
to one last question, 'cause I know my producers--

JESSE JACKSON:
South Carolina man.

I'm from Andrews,
South Carolina. Now, how come--

This is what
I always wanted to know, too.

Just Black leadership,
in general,

how come we always focus on
what the white man's thinking?

Why can't we just focus
on our own thing?

Can we just focus
on cleaning up the ghetto?

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)
-It's like a lot of times--

-a lot of times--
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

It's like, years ago,
couple years ago.

I'm in Chicago. I was with you
and Al Sharpton.

And like, I was covering a rally
for Comedy Central,

and brothers was marching
for equal rights.

Marching past garbage.

Of course, white people
ain't giving you a damn thing.

Why don't you clean up
your fucking house, you know?

I didn't mean to curse
in front of the Reverend,

-but you know what I'm saying?
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

You know what I'm saying?
(CHUCKLES)

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)
-You know what I'm saying?

I'm saying... (STUTTERS)

We were just talking backstage,

and you wanted me
to get more involved.

I'm like, "Let's clean up
the damn hood."

Black people and white people.
Poor Black people

and poor white people live
in the same conditions.

Only thing, Black people
paint on their houses.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-(CHUCKLES)

It's free advertising.
(CHUCKLES)

But, you know, I think
the point is people--

If we straighten out ourselves,
people would deal with us

as human beings.
Don't you agree a little bit?

If your kid wants something,
and his room is dirty,

you say, "Get back
and clean up your room.

-Then tell me what you want."
-Well, cleanliness

is always close to godliness.

-There's no question about that.
-CHRIS: Yes! Thank you.

But if you live
in a certain area of town

where they cut off
access to Capitol.

-CHRIS: Yes.
-And cut off access to jobs--

It don't mean you can't pick up
a damn piece of paper

-in front of your house!
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

-But, but--
-It don't mean that.

My mother used to make me
clean up my yard

and the two yards
next door to us.

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)
-I think it's important.

You should be able to pick up
paper and pick up a paycheck.

Pick up paper
and a pick up a diploma.

We were broke, and we still
picked up the paper.

-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
-My daddy was on strike

and I'm out there
sweeping away, man.

Well, my grandmother used
to make us clean the dirt

-with a brush broom.
-(CHUCKLES)

Having said that, even that
is no substitute for the right

-of an education...
-I know. I know.

-...a job, and healthcare.
-I know, you're right.

But we got to get
on our own stuff a little bit.

We got to smack our own kids
upside the head

-every now and then.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

No.

That's it!

-Thank you very much.
-Love you, too.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

All right, here to perform
some tracks

off his new double album

The 18th Letter
and The Book Of Life,

it's one of the greatest rappers
that ever lived.

-The "Microphone Fiend," Rakim!
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

(SINGING)
♪ Thinkin' of a master plan ♪

♪ 'Cause ain't nothing
But sweat inside my hands ♪

♪ So I think of all, you know
The things I did ♪

♪ You know, back in the days
With a stick-up kid ♪

♪ I blow the spot up quick
You know my style, y'all ♪

♪ The phenomena
Rocking my law ♪

♪ Came to blow it up
On The Chris Rock Show ♪

♪ You know, ready to go
Make the microphone blow ♪

♪ Yo, I got great tune
And the crew ♪

♪ Made my new debut ♪

♪ Came to play you
New tune from my new crew ♪

♪ Blow it up one time
Then I say, one, two ♪

♪ So, just throw your hands
In the air ♪

♪ And wave them
Like you just don't care ♪

♪ Say, yeah... ♪

-AUDIENCE: ♪ Yeah! ♪
-(EXCLAIMS)

♪ Break it down ♪

♪ Chris Rock we gonna do it
Like this, you know? ♪

♪ Hey, yo, you know what? ♪

♪ Hit the studio
'Cause I'm paid in full... ♪

You know what I'm saying?
We gonna do it like that.

Break it down like that.

♪ Yo, I ain't no joke
I used to let the mic smoke ♪

♪ Now, I slam it when I'm done
And make sure it's broke ♪

♪ When I'm gone
I wrote this song ♪

♪ 'Cause I won't let nobody
Press up, mess up ♪

♪ The scene I set ♪

♪ I like to stand in a crowd
Watch the people wonder ♪

♪ Damn, well, think about it
Then you'll understand ♪

♪ I'm just an addict
Addicted to music ♪

♪ Maybe it's a habit
I gotta use it ♪

♪ Even if it's jazz
Or the quiet storm ♪

♪ I hook a beat up
Convert it in a hip-hop form ♪

♪ Write a rhyme and graffiti in
Every show you see me in ♪

♪ Deep concentration
Chris rock is the comedian ♪

♪ Jokers are wild
If you wanna be tame ♪

♪ I treat you like a child
Then you're gonna be named ♪

♪ Come on, another enemy
Not even a friend to me ♪

♪ 'Cause you'll get fried
In the end ♪

♪ When you pretend
To be competing ♪

♪ I just put your mind
On pause ♪

♪ Beat when you compare
My rhyme with yours ♪

♪ Break it down, baby... ♪

Check this out, ya'll.
Just talk about rap.

Check it out.

♪ It's been a long time
I shouldn't have left you ♪

♪ Without a strong rhyme
To step to ♪

♪ Think of how many weak shows
You slept through ♪

♪ Time's up
Sorry I kept you ♪

♪ Thinkin' of this
You keep repeating, you miss ♪

♪ The rhymes from the microphone
Solo where ♪

♪ So you sit by the radio
Hand on the dial ♪

♪ So, as you're hearing
Pump up the volume... ♪

(EXCLAIMS, CHUCKLES)
Don't stop. Check it out, y'all.

♪ I was a fiend
Before I became teen ♪

♪ I melted microphone
Instead of cones of ice cream ♪

♪ Music orientated
When hip-hop was originated ♪

♪ Fitted like pieces
Of a puzzle, complicated ♪

♪ 'Cause I grabbed the mic
And try to say, yes, ya'll ♪

♪ They tried to take it
And say that I'm too small ♪

♪ Cool
'Cause I don't get upset ♪

♪ Kick a hole in the speaker
Pull the plug, then I jet ♪

♪ Back to the lab
Without a mic to grab ♪

♪ So, then I add
All the rhymes I had ♪

♪ One after the other one
Then I make another one ♪

♪ To diss the opposite then ask
If the brother's done ♪

♪ I get a craving
Like a fiend for nicotine ♪

♪ I don't need a cigarette
Know what I mean? ♪

♪ I'm raging
Ripping up the stage ♪

♪ And don't it sound amazing? ♪

♪ 'Cause every rhyme is made
And thought of ♪

♪ 'Cause it's sort of
An addiction ♪

♪ Magnetized by the mixing ♪

♪ Vocals, vocabulary
Your verses, you're stuck in ♪

♪ The mic is a Drano
Volcanoes erupting ♪

♪ Rhymes overflowing
Gradually growing ♪

♪ Everything is written
In the cold ♪

♪ So it could coincide
My thoughts to guide ♪

♪ Forty-eight tracks to slide ♪

♪ The invincible
Microphone fiend, Rakim ♪

♪ Spread the word ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm in E-F-F-E-C-T ♪

♪ A smooth operator
Operating correctly ♪

♪ But back to the problem
I got a habit ♪

♪ They can't solve it
Silly rabbit ♪

♪ The prescription
Is a Hypertone ♪

♪ That's thorough when I fiend
For a microphone like heroin ♪

♪ Soon as the bass kicks
I need a fix ♪

♪ Gimme a stage, and a mic
And a mix ♪

♪ And I'll put you in a mood
Or is it a state of ♪

♪ Being aware, just beware
It's the reanimator ♪

♪ A menace to a microphone
Lethal weapon, assassinator ♪

♪ If the people ain't steppin' ♪

♪ You see a part of me
That you never seen ♪

♪ When I'm fiendin'
For a microphone ♪

♪ It's the microphone fiend ♪

♪ Yeah, break it down ♪

-♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING)

Chris rock. One love, y'all.

And The 18th letter,
always and forever, ya'll.

That's all, y'all, for tonight.

I'd like to thank my guests
the Reverend Jesse Jackson

and Rakim.

-Yo, Flash, take us out.
-♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪

ANNOUNCER: For a video copy
of The Chris Rock Show

tape it yourself
when it's repeated.

Just put a blank tape
in the VCR, set a timer, and that's it.

Don't give us this,
"Oh, I don't know how to program my VCR," shit.

Everyone knows how by now.

Only a moron
would spend 25 bucks

for a tape he could do at home
for three. Act now.

(AUDIENCE CHEERING)

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

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