All language subtitles for Kenan s02e06 Workaholic.eng

[21 Savage and Metro Boomin's
"Mr. Right Now"]

♪

♪ I'ma slide
anytime you want ♪

♪ Put you in Chanel,
I'ma teach you how to stunt ♪

♪ 21, slip and slide
like a waterfall ♪

♪ 21, ay,
turn your phone off ♪

♪ Take your clothes off, 21,
I'm a savage ♪

♪ But I [...] her
to a slow song, 21 ♪

♪ Turn the lights down, 21

♪ 21, I ain't Mr. Right

♪ But I'm Mr. Right Now,
straight up ♪

♪ She want me to [...] her
to Beyoncé, straight up ♪

♪ But I don't treat her
like she my fiancé, on God ♪

Oh, my goodness!
You are terrible at this!

Stop killing me!

Oh, man.

[indistinct]

- Aw, Gary, drive safe.
- Yeah.

Huh?

You said--oh, yeah.
Of course.

Good hang, girl.

You read, too.
That's tight.

[funky upbeat music]

♪

♪ That's me, Kenan!

♪

Excuse me, sir.

How are you
and your wife enjoying

Atlanta's food truck festival?

Oh, we're not married yet.

We just met
by the sushi burritos,

which I'm buying
for my beautiful wife,

who's home caring
for our four children.

What?
You married?

You said your wife was dead!

Well, it looks like
the jury's still out

on the food and wine festival

and that guy's marriage.

And cut.

I should have known they were
too happy to be married.

Oh, that lady looks
low drama.

- Uh-huh.
- Excuse me.

- Sheila.
- Oh!

- [laughs]
- Oh!

- Girl!
- Hey!

Kenan, this is Sheila,
my soror from college.

Skeewee!

What you doing in Atlanta?

Oh, you know...
last-minute work trip.

- Sheila, you ready to party?
- [laughing]

Oh, [bleep], Mika.

Skeewee!

Kenan,
these are my other sorors,

Keisha and Alexis,
who are apparently in town

for the birthday weekend
I thought was canceled.

Well, very awkward
to meet you.

Sorry, Mika.

It's time
we tell you the truth.

Keisha?

We were going to invite you,
but--Sheila?

Mika, we love you,

but you always say
you're gonna come,

and then you bail on us
at the last minute

because you gotta work.

Then one of us has to pay
full price for a room.

And split the stripper
three ways instead of four.

Oh, that's when
the up-charging starts,

am I right?

And don't get a stripper
on the holidays

because they gon'
add in surge pricing.

I'm not paying doub--

that's not important
right now, is it?

Not at all.

Now, come on, y'all,
I canceled one time.

You canceled
the birthday trip one time.

You've canceled
four homecomings,

two Friendsgivings,
and Essence Fest 2016.

- Did I?
- That one was your loss.

We were extras in "Girls Trip"!
[laughter]

That's what I know you from!

You got peed on by Jada!
- I did, I did!

[laughter]
- [clears throat]

We could try to add one more

to the reservation tonight.

Yeah, come get yourself
some of this life, Mika.

A job ain't it.

Well, my job is.
I love it.

And I'm passionate about it,

so that's why I can't make
dinner tonight.

Excuse me.
I'm gonna get back to work.

You guys enjoy
your little trip.

Skeewee.

Hey, hey, hey, come on now.

Don't let those ladies get
under your skin.

They didn't.
Why would you say that?

Because it sounds like
your friends didn't invite you

to a crazy fun weekend--

- I got it.
- Oh, okay.

[upbeat music]

Hey, sorry to do this
to you guys,

but we need to stay and come up
with a new segment.

What? Why?

Because Kenan's
"Word on the Street"

turned into a turd
on the street.

Easy.

I think with some good editing

and maybe some cool graphics,

we could turn it
into, like, a "Cheaters:

Food Truck Edition."

Oh, I'm fine
polishing the turd

if it means we get out of here.

Yeah, Mika, I've got
my tennis league tonight,

and I already took
my slow release oxy.

Huh, I'm gonna go ahead
and assume

that oxy is prescribed

and not the reason
you went to Mexico

four times last month.

Let's go with that.

Look, guys, we'll just stay
for a couple more hours,

and you'll see.

Putting in a little extra work
is worth it.

Yes, free dinner. Am I--

Just ask for the raise, man.

Okay.

[sensual music playing]

♪

That was incredible.

What happened in there
or what happened in here?

[laughs]
You're silly.

And cute. Don't forget cute.

- What happened in here.
- Yeah, fo' sho.

And the whole night, I guess.

It was nice going
on a real date for once.

It was.

Even though Lauryn Hill was
four hours late.

Hey, she's been
pretty consistent about that.

[laughs]

You know, some people
are worth waiting for.

Anyway, what should we--
- Drive safe.

Okay.

Uh, you want me to go?
- Yeah.

Oh, you got, like,
work in the morning?

No, I get to sleep in,
but I'll hit you up again.

Okay, when? I mean, cool.

I'm cool with that, okay?

Just the coolest guy. Yeah.

Oh, so you already busy.

Okay, so I'ma just go ahead
and head out.

Bye. Thanks.

Open, closed?

She said two hours.
It's almost midnight.

I missed
my bleaching appointment.

- Your hair looks great.
- It wasn't for my hair.

It was for my--you know what?
It's not important.

I don't get it.

Why did she make us work late
for no reason?

Well, it's not for no reason.

Oh, yeah, it's 'cause
your segment sucked.

Uh, no, it's because
Mika and her friends have been

having some problems
outside of work.

- Mika's never outside of work.
- That's the problem.

And when her friends
pointed that out,

it put her in a bit of a mood.

We're all friends.

Stop being so pathetic, Phil.

Sorry.
[cell phones chiming]

And we're working late again
tomorrow night.

Come on,
I got Joe Rogan tickets.

When I see Mika,
I am gonna be

as nice as I always am,
but on the inside,

she better watch out.

You know what?
Let me talk to Mika.

I think I can get her
to ease up.

- You need a wingman?
- Get a dog, man.

A dog and a raise.

God, Phil,
have you ever been a wingman?

No.

[sighs]

Are you just getting home
from work?

Yeah, man, Mika is tripping.

But what's up with you?

How was your second date
with Miss Carrie?

Wait, wait, Carrie and Gary.
Oh, that's adorable.

I'ma get a drink.

Well, we slept
together again,

and she asked me
to leave again.

Great. That's awesome.

I mean, I guess the only thing
better would be

if she gave you a little cash
on the way out.

I'm sorry.

I don't like making jokes
like that,

but it was right there.

It's not funny, Kenan.

I want to be the one to leave.

I feel like she has
all the control.

- So get it back.
- How, huh?

Invite her over here and smash,
and then ask her to leave?

Oh, that's not a bad idea
at all.

Well, actually, I was gonna
suggest maybe take her out

to a nice dinner
and then politely ask

for some of the power back
in the relationship.

But hey, you and I are
two very different people.

Yes, we are.
I'ma go with my smash plan.

But thank you.

All right, well,
may I suggest

that you maybe smash
outside the house,

like in a hotel or the backseat
of your car perhaps?

Oh, give it up, Kenan.

I've already had sex
in your bed, dawg.

What?

Yes, in your clothes,
role-playing as you,

and I made her wake up with me.

Hey, was it in
one of my suits?

Could've been.

It better not have been
the baby blue!

[scoffs]
Gross.

"We're having fun."
Okay, grow up.

"Cheers."

[knocking on door]

Hey, Mika,
we really need to ta--

is that your pillow?

Are you sleeping here?
- Sometimes.

But where do you bathe?

In all the places
that matter,

boom, boom, and beep-beep.

That's not what I meant.
I think you knew that.

Bot look, is it possible

that maybe your friends
were right

about you working too much?

Huh, too much.

You see this?
This mine.

Sheila rents her handbags.

Alexis lives with her mama.

I own a house.
You see these awards?

Just accolades, accolades,
accolades, right?

Keisha's biggest achievement
is getting peed on in a movie.

I mean, she still smells
like Tiffany Haddish.

All right, this is
a very bougie rant.

I'm just saying
that I am proud of hard I work.

And look, Kenan is proud
of you, too, queen.

Thanks.

But, I don't know,
maybe you're in your feelings,

and you're not dealing with it,

so you're making everybody work
all these crazy hours.

And people are not happy
about it.

"People"?

People who work
on the number two morning show?

Huh. Who, Kenan, who?
[laughs]

Give me names.

I don't know, I think maybe
Phil was saying something

about his check or something,
I don't know.

You know what?
I got this.

No, you don't.
You don't have to get this.

Mika, come back!

Show me some more
fancy handbags, queen!

I mean, it's too much.

It is late.
- I'm so tired.

- Yeah.
- Hey, everybody.

Kenan told me that you're upset

that we're working
late tonight,

so I want you to go home
and get some rest.

- Oh.
- [sighs]

Because we're working
the weekend.

Oh, thanks a lot, Kenan.

Hey, you wanted
a night off, right?

So I delivered.
- Mika, you're crazy.

I'm not working the weekend.

What did you say?

I said you're crazy.

Just 'cause you don't
have a life

doesn't mean
you have to ruin ours.

- Ooh.
- Okay.

Okay, let's calm down
a little bit here.

Everybody's friends here now.
- Yeah, best friends.

- Phil.
- Phil.

Work is way more important

than barfing around the streets
with your friends, okay?

So we are gonna eat, breathe,
and sleep this show

until we're number one.

- Okay.
- No.

I am gonna eat food,

I am gonna breathe air,

and I am gonna sleep

on a cool-ass
adjustable hospice bed

that I just got
at an estate sale.

Pamela, if you don't
come in this weekend,

don't bother coming in tomorrow
or any day after that.

Hey, long weekend.
Look at that.

That's a compromise, right?
This is a good day.

Shall we get some scones, or--
- No.

I meant don't come in
ever again.

- Are you firing me?
- Come on, Pam.

Nobody's firing anybody.
- Pam, you're fired.

[gasps]

Damn, she just fired Pam.

[laughter]
- What?

Okay, I'm sorry.

You still got R. Kelly
on your playlist?

- I know, he's a monster.
- Yeah.

But he also made me believe
that I could fly.

But you can't fly though.

Deleted.
[both laugh]

All right, but if you're
getting rid of that,

I am getting rid of...

the Shaq album!

Okay, you not about to play
with "Shaq Fu" like that.

- No!
- He gave you slam dunking...

- No, he didn't.
- Being a ninja...

Mm-mm.

And a police officer
in a random town.

- Well--
- Come on now.

He might have
a personality disorder.

Also, hold on, you can't judge

because you have
Michael Jackson

and then
Donald Trump's audiobook,

"The Art of the Deal."

Is this your canceled playlist?

Yes, and my list of people
who can't read that well.

[both laugh]

Ugh.

[Muni Long's "Hrs and Hrs"]

Well, I mean,
I think it's time

that you--um...
- [laughing]

I mean, I think it's time
that you...

- Mm-hmm?
- Should have some water.

Do you ever drink water?

I mean, don't most people?

Right, well,
I'ma get you some

so that you stay hydrated.

- Okay, thanks.
- All right.

You sit tight.
- Okay.

Don't go nowhere.
I shall be but a minute.

I don't know why I did that.
[both laugh]

All right.

♪ I could do this
for hours ♪

♪ And hours and hours
- [laughs]

♪ I could do this for hours
and hours and hours ♪

♪ I could do this
for hours and hours ♪

So you just gon' go through
with your crass-ass plan

to get your power back, huh?

Yeah, of course.

Absolutely, yeah.

About to,
soon as I give her this water.

She gon' be on her way.

Kenan!

Hi. Carrie.
Sorry, big fan.

[laughs]

You're so much taller
in person.

Why, thank you very much.

- [laughs]
- And here's your water.

Oh, and thank you.
Bye, guys.

And you should leave
and drive safe.

Go on, get on out of here
and drive cautiously.

You think that qualifies
as asking her to leave?

And she done took
one of my good glasses.

Boy, what's going on with you?

I've tried
to kick this woman out, man,

but I can't.

Oh, I get it.

You think this is
about getting your power back,

but you sprung.

Since the first night, man.

All I wanted to do
was stay over and cuddle.

What do I do?

Help me.
- Just tell her that.

Tell her how you get lost
in her eyes

whenever you see her

or how your heart skips a beat
when she enters the room.

Man, that is corny as hell.
I'm not saying that.

Yeah, well, maybe it is,

but you been swiping through
these streets for years,

and I have never seen you
like this.

You were singing Michael Bublé
in the shower the other day.

I know.

I was experiencing
a Bublé level of emotions,

all light jazz
and tight Zara suits.

But what if she don't want
to stay the night, though?

Well, then,
you come back and pretend

you didn't like her
in the first place,

and I pretend to believe you
'cause I'm your brother.

Thanks, fam.
You a real one for that.

I'ma go to bed real quick.

You 'bout to go see
if she's still

in the driveway, ain't you?

No, no,
I'm not even gonna do that.

- All right.
- That's a stupid idea.

Okay, then why are you
running to the front door?

Mm-mm-mm,
the pitifulness of yourself.

Okay, come on, Mika.

You made your point,
but you gotta get Pam back.

No, all I gotta do is
pay taxes and stay cute.

Yeah, but Pam is family,

and the good kind
of family, too.

She would never steal
your social security number

and go buy a car.

- Ooh...
- Yeah, that was Gary.

Okay, Kenan, can we talk
about this after the show?

You're on in one minute.

Oh, forget about the show
for one second.

Work isn't all there is, Mika.

You know what,
it might be easier for you

to understand that
if there was no show.

What are you talking about?

I'm not working
until you bring Pam back!

Excuse me?

I--that's what
my mouth just said,

and I believe I concur.

This is for Pam.

[joints crack]

I heard something pop!

Yeah, I need to get back up.

But I believe I made my point.
- Mm-hmm.

Come on, help me up, girl.

Appreciate you.

I'll just stay down here
all day, then.

Can somebody call
LeBron's doctor?

I need new knees.

Kenan, I ain't playing
with you.

Get to work.
- No. No.

Not until you agree
to talk to Pam.

Kay. Kay, fine.

Tami, guess what?
You got your wish.

The show is now yours.

Really?

No, Tami, Tami,
think about Pam.

Tami.
- Tami.

- Tami.
- I'm so torn.

This is just like
when I divorced my parents.

You don't want it like this.

You're right.
I choose Pam.

She would never spend
my pageant winnings

on beef jerky and Mountain Dew.

Kay. Kay, fine.
Phil!

Oh, geez, please no.
I'm a fourth banana at best.

What's a fourth banana?

I don't know.
Maybe it's sexual.

Okay, you know what?
Hey, you!

The show is now "Wake Up
with What's-Your-Name."

What's your name?
- Beck.

But I'm sleeping with Pam.

Also, we're on in 30 seconds.

Okay, okay, so nobody?

Nobody cares about the show?
Hmm?

Not as much
as we care about Pam.

Would you please go talk
to her?

And say what,
that she was right?

That I put work before
my friends until I had none?

And my life is so sad,
I asked my Postmate

to watch "Queen's Gambit"
with me.

She was like, "Uh, not again.

Not again."

Now I'm dragging you all
with me.

Well, I wouldn't mention
the Postmate part.

That's rock bottom.

But the rest of that
was pretty good.

I am so sorry.

♪ Wake up, wake up,
wake up ♪

Good morning, Atlanta.

Welcome to "Wake Up with Tami."

Finally.

She slid out there
halfway through your rant.

- Yeah, she was quick.
- Girl can't even help herself.

both: Tami!

[upbeat music]

You think Pam will
forgive me?

I was pretty awful to her.

Yeah. I mean, it's Pam.

She's super reasonable.
- Okay.

Huah!

Ah!
- [groans]

both: Oh.
- MY bad, bitch!

Hey, tell your wife I got her
while you heal up.

All right, well,
everybody knows

that trash talk is a big part
of tennis.

- Is it?
- Limp faster, Kip!

This is Pam's house!
Pam's house!

- Hey, Pam--
- Who wants some?

Oh, Kenan, sorry.
I was in beast mode.

Yeah, yeah, we saw you
serve Kip up that vasectomy.

Not on me.

Mika.
- Hi.

What do you want?

To talk about last night.

Well, I only have the court
for an hour,

so if you wanna talk,
we talk in my house.

Oh, but I'm in heels, so...

- Kip, run those shoes!
- Hm?

Oh, he doesn't have
to do that--okay.

He'll do whatever I ask.
Hey, Kip!

Bring me a $20 bill!

He's gonna bring me $20.
- Oh.

Want one?

[laughing]

Okay, strip.

Okay, but can we talk first?

Oh, no, baby,
you're not pregnant, are you?

'Cause I swear it's not mine.

[laughs]

You're so funny, man.
I love you.

- What?
- Huh?

- What?
- No, mm-mm.

What I was gonna say is,
I think after we do the thing,

we should watch TV together
and take a long nap,

and then wake up the next day

and have some cheesy eggs
and some juice,

something like that.

You're saying you want
to stay the night,

and then eat breakfast?

Uh, sure.

Definitely, I think.

Oh.

I mean, I figured you just
wanted something casual.

I mean, we met
on Impromptu-Vous.

I'm sure I wasn't
your first vous.

No, no, but...

look, you're the only girl
with a smile

that made my heart skip a beat.

Aw, Gary, that's hella corny.

Man.

[laughs]
But it's also kinda sweet.

For real?

So you'd be down
for more than just hooking up?

Yeah.

You wanna cuddle?

Hell no,
I don't wanna--hell yeah!

I'm little spoon!
- What--aww!

Okay, okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay.

It was hard for you
to say that.

- It was.
- It was.

I almost farted
right in the middle of it.

[both grunting]

Okay.

Okay, all right, next one.
I got the next one.

Here we go, and--
- Huah!

Just--oh! Okay.
Didn't get that one either.

Do they always come
this fast, or--

Okay.
- All right, come on, Pam.

Ease up. Hear her out.

Fine!
I'll go lefty. Talk.

Okay, look, I'm sorry, Pam.

Okay, I never should have
fired you.

Look, my friends
really hurt my feelings,

but they were right,
and so were you.

I need to work a little less.

- Huah!
- Okay, a lot less. A lot less.

I definitely need to find
a work-life balance.

Look, can we stop now?

I'm meeting my sorors
for dinner,

and I don't wanna
sweat out my silk press!

Wait.

You're going out
instead of working?

Yeah, I told you,
you're right.

- Pam, Pam, Pam--
- No, Pam, don't hurt her!

[both grunt]

Aww, love. Just like tennis.

[laughs]
Man, I am funny.

Really worked up
a sweat there, huh, buddy?

- I skew moist.
- Let me get in on this.

both: Aww.

- Oh, you are moist.
- Yeah.

Should we hit the showers?
- I'm out.

- As a group, or...
- I mean, whatevs.

Okay, well, shower for one.
Jealous?

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