All language subtitles for Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia - 03x06 - The Gang Solves the North Korea Situation.DVDRip ORPHEUS.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,922 --> 00:00:04,824 You're definitely gonna get this on. You ready? 2 00:00:04,892 --> 00:00:06,655 Uh, yeah. I guess. Okay. 3 00:00:06,727 --> 00:00:10,720 He knew that if the gooks were to get their hands on the watch, they would take it. 4 00:00:10,798 --> 00:00:12,732 So he shoved it... up his ass! 5 00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,598 I have no idea what you're doing. Why, it's Christopher Walken! 6 00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:16,932 It sounded like Rosie Perez or something. 7 00:00:17,004 --> 00:00:18,904 Come on! That was a perfect Walken... 8 00:00:18,973 --> 00:00:21,533 and it's gonna win me the talent show. What talent show? 9 00:00:21,609 --> 00:00:24,737 The one I throw for the pub crawl. Are you doing that again? 10 00:00:24,812 --> 00:00:26,939 Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, it's not really a talent show anyway. 11 00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:29,983 She just gets the most untalented people in Philly to enter the competition... 12 00:00:30,051 --> 00:00:32,144 so she can win it, and then she never wins it anyway. 13 00:00:32,219 --> 00:00:33,743 No. Last year she got smoked by this chick... 14 00:00:33,821 --> 00:00:35,311 who ate, like, 50 hot dogs in three seconds. 15 00:00:35,389 --> 00:00:36,947 That was amazing! That was not talent. 16 00:00:37,024 --> 00:00:39,424 Guys, guys, guys! I got some news! Some terrible news! 17 00:00:39,493 --> 00:00:43,520 We got a huge problem. Can we stop for a second and talk about this? 18 00:00:43,598 --> 00:00:45,623 What? What's with that jacket? 19 00:00:45,700 --> 00:00:48,430 I was gonna wait on that. I think we should go over the jacket now. 20 00:00:48,502 --> 00:00:51,266 No, let's hear about it now. First of all, it's not a jacket. 21 00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:53,068 It's a duster. It's like a jacket... 22 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,267 only it's longer, thicker and far more badass. 23 00:00:55,343 --> 00:00:58,210 I look like Lorenzo Lamas, and women find it irresistible. 24 00:00:58,279 --> 00:01:01,112 Well, that part's just simply not true. Either way, I like it. 25 00:01:01,182 --> 00:01:03,650 I bought it with the money I was gonna make at the pub crawl. 26 00:01:03,718 --> 00:01:05,811 Here's the problem. You know that Korean barbecue joint down the street? 27 00:01:05,886 --> 00:01:07,820 Mr. Kim's? They just signed up for the pub crawl. 28 00:01:07,888 --> 00:01:10,379 Which means now they're the last stop! They can't be the last stop. 29 00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:12,824 We're always the last stop! That's the only time of year we make any money! 30 00:01:12,893 --> 00:01:15,623 They're also experimenting with a secret microbrew. 31 00:01:15,696 --> 00:01:17,994 Word on the street is that it's delicious and powerful! 32 00:01:18,065 --> 00:01:19,760 Bullshit! Yep. 33 00:01:19,834 --> 00:01:23,361 We're the microbrew guys! They can't take that! Wait. You guys have a microbrew? 34 00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:25,496 Yes! We make a delicious, amazing microbrew! Really? 35 00:01:25,573 --> 00:01:29,009 Oh, it's amazing. They-They throw all the skunk beer into a trash can. 36 00:01:29,076 --> 00:01:31,374 And then they sell it for $10 a glass. 37 00:01:31,445 --> 00:01:33,504 The point is we cannot let these Koreans steal our thunder! 38 00:01:33,581 --> 00:01:35,674 They wanna make a top secret microbrew... 39 00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:38,184 We gotta make ours more powerful! Right! We'll make it... 40 00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:40,550 so strong that people will pass out and vomit and vomit in their own pass out. 41 00:01:40,621 --> 00:01:42,646 They'll never leave and go to Kim's in the first place! 42 00:01:42,723 --> 00:01:45,021 Yeah. I will make this year's talent show the best talent show ever. 43 00:01:45,092 --> 00:01:47,356 Let the men talk, Dee! Let the men talk! What are you saying? 44 00:01:47,428 --> 00:01:49,419 We're in the middle of an emergency here! Guys, we gotta move on this. 45 00:01:49,497 --> 00:01:51,488 It's the damn North Koreans! Damn North Koreans. 46 00:01:51,565 --> 00:01:53,590 Wait. Wait a second. What makes you guys think they're North Koreans? 47 00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:55,101 That's the bad Korea. 48 00:01:55,169 --> 00:01:56,761 They're the sneaky, bad Korea, man. 49 00:01:56,837 --> 00:01:59,931 The ones on the top and they sneak down and they eat everybody's pets. 50 00:02:00,007 --> 00:02:02,498 I can't stand it! It's un-American! All right, goddamn it. 51 00:02:02,576 --> 00:02:05,204 That's it. They're gonna take our way of life from us. It's bullshit. 52 00:02:05,279 --> 00:02:08,942 Okay, gang. Let's solve this North Korea situation once and for all. 53 00:02:44,351 --> 00:02:45,978 All right, that's enough. No, no, no, no. 54 00:02:46,053 --> 00:02:47,782 That's enough moonshine, Frank! No, no, no, no! 55 00:02:47,855 --> 00:02:49,413 Look, we don't want people to go blind! 56 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,458 You can never have enough moonshine. Goddamn it. 57 00:02:51,525 --> 00:02:54,722 Trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about. How's it taste? 58 00:02:56,797 --> 00:02:58,765 We gotta lace it with somethin' sweeter. 59 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,563 We gotta add a little sweetening. Oh, Deandra. 60 00:03:01,635 --> 00:03:04,570 Could you be a darling and run down and get Daddy some antifreeze? 61 00:03:04,638 --> 00:03:07,334 No. We don't want to kill people. You're not getting this. 62 00:03:07,408 --> 00:03:10,775 I can't help you guys. I have a very busy day. I'm auditioning people all day. 63 00:03:10,845 --> 00:03:13,973 And also, you're not my dad. Winning a talent show that you throw for yourself... 64 00:03:14,048 --> 00:03:16,141 is just about the saddest thing you've ever done, Dee. 65 00:03:16,217 --> 00:03:18,481 Listen. If this is all about boosting your self-confidence... 66 00:03:18,552 --> 00:03:22,147 why don't you go out and bang a bunch of random dudes like you did in the good old days? 67 00:03:23,557 --> 00:03:25,582 This talent show's very important to me. All right? 68 00:03:25,659 --> 00:03:27,752 And I'm not gonna let you guys steamroll me like you always do. 69 00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,796 Why don't you get Charlie and Dennis to help you? 70 00:03:29,864 --> 00:03:31,764 Well, Dennis and Charlie are out collecting intelligence, okay? 71 00:03:31,832 --> 00:03:34,995 Oh! You're playing spies now? 72 00:03:35,069 --> 00:03:37,196 Intel is the name of the game, Dee. It's all about the intelligence! 73 00:03:37,271 --> 00:03:39,831 Then you picked the wrong two people. Maybe so. 74 00:03:39,907 --> 00:03:42,137 But we do have a secret weapon. 75 00:03:48,783 --> 00:03:51,047 That would've been a lot better if I was wearing the duster, dude. 76 00:03:51,118 --> 00:03:53,245 Come on, dude. It doesn't fit you. It's too big for you. 77 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,517 That's why it's so awesome on me. It's like, "Why's that guy in a giant jacket? 78 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:58,683 Why do you take this away from me? What is he hiding, dude?" 79 00:03:58,759 --> 00:04:00,886 I just wish you'd let me do it. Can we just snoop around a little bit? 80 00:04:00,961 --> 00:04:03,259 We can snoop around. But I just... I should be wearing the duster. 81 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,195 That's the bottom line. No, I'm wearing the duster. That's the end of it. 82 00:04:05,266 --> 00:04:07,166 Fine. We should drink a couple of these microbrews. 83 00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:09,464 Let's get some microbrews. That's what people on the pub crawl are gonna do. 84 00:04:09,537 --> 00:04:10,970 Yeah, I know. 85 00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:14,500 Two microbrews, please. 86 00:04:14,575 --> 00:04:18,067 All right. What is this? "Pub Crawl Karaoke Contest"? Uhoh. 87 00:04:18,145 --> 00:04:20,670 Bro, "Prize... $500"? That's not good. 88 00:04:20,748 --> 00:04:22,807 Aw, shit. Look at that bracket. Do you think that's... 89 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:25,113 That's what that's for? Oh, that's for the karaoke contest, bro. 90 00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:28,019 Oh, my God, dude. There's a lot of names on there. That's huge, man. 91 00:04:28,088 --> 00:04:31,182 That's gonna... Bracketing is a very intricate and difficult thing to do, man. 92 00:04:31,258 --> 00:04:33,419 They got it down. I gotta get this intel back to Mac. 93 00:04:33,494 --> 00:04:35,860 Well, don't... Hold on that because we want to try the... What? 94 00:04:35,930 --> 00:04:37,693 The microbeers? Yes. 95 00:04:37,765 --> 00:04:39,699 Here we go. Thank you. Thank you. 96 00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:42,930 Mmm! Oh, shit. 97 00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:45,597 Goddamn it. That's good. That is really good. 98 00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:46,901 That's... That is... 99 00:04:46,974 --> 00:04:48,908 Mmm! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 100 00:04:51,345 --> 00:04:53,677 Son of a bitch, that's good. They're putting somethin' in that... 101 00:04:53,747 --> 00:04:56,079 'cause you can't just make beer like that. What do you mean? 102 00:04:56,150 --> 00:04:58,380 Like they're enriching it? 103 00:04:58,452 --> 00:05:01,148 Are they enriching the... You cannot... 104 00:05:01,222 --> 00:05:03,486 They're enriching the beers, Charlie. They're enriching their beer. 105 00:05:06,093 --> 00:05:07,856 That's definitely enriched beer. That's an enriched beer, dude. 106 00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:09,953 That's not conven... I've only tried enriched beer like once, I think. 107 00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:12,055 They're not allowed to have the capabilities to enrich beer here. 108 00:05:12,132 --> 00:05:14,396 Where are they enriching... What is going on in this place? 109 00:05:14,468 --> 00:05:17,062 Look at all these people, man. They're like, uh... Oh, there's like brainwash... 110 00:05:17,137 --> 00:05:19,071 They're being brainwashed. Notice how they're all happy and smiling... 111 00:05:19,139 --> 00:05:20,902 'cause they're drinking enrich... How old was that bartender? 112 00:05:20,975 --> 00:05:23,375 Was she 16 or 60? You can't tell. You have no Idea. 113 00:05:23,444 --> 00:05:25,275 They're timeless. They're endless and timeless. 114 00:05:25,346 --> 00:05:27,610 Oh, God. Damn it, dude. We are in big trouble here, man. 115 00:05:27,681 --> 00:05:32,141 Oh, shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door right there? 116 00:05:32,219 --> 00:05:35,780 The one marked "pirate"? You think a pirate lives in there? 117 00:05:35,856 --> 00:05:39,485 I see a door marked "private. " Is that the... Is that the door you were talkin' about? 118 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,221 No, I was talking a... Yeah. 119 00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:42,762 I didn't say... No, you s... 120 00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:44,661 What did you hear? 121 00:05:44,732 --> 00:05:46,723 I heard you say you saw a door marked "pirate. " 122 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,427 And "Is there a pirate living in there?" Yes, that's why you thought... 123 00:05:48,502 --> 00:05:50,868 No. See, that's... Why would there be a pirate living in a Korean restaurant? 124 00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:53,168 Are we gonna talk about pirates all day? Or we gonna find out who lives in there? 125 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:55,538 You're the one that... All right. Jesus Christ, man. 126 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,940 Here we go. What's wrong? Come on, open it. 127 00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:00,776 It's locked. All right... 128 00:06:00,848 --> 00:06:02,816 I'm gonna try this out. What... What is that? Your apartment key? 129 00:06:02,883 --> 00:06:05,010 Yeah. I'm gonna see if it's gonna work here. That's not gonna work! 130 00:06:05,085 --> 00:06:06,712 Why not? We're not at your apartment, shithead! 131 00:06:06,787 --> 00:06:08,755 How many possible lock combinations can there be? Oh, so many, dude! 132 00:06:08,822 --> 00:06:11,052 Like hundreds of millions. Well, eventually they're gonna overlap. 133 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,922 They're not ever gonna over... You know what? You're right. It's not working. 134 00:06:12,993 --> 00:06:14,620 Oh, no shit. No shit. It was worth a try. 135 00:06:14,695 --> 00:06:15,957 It was not worth a try. Well... 136 00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:18,260 Move over. I'm gonna, like, kick the door or some shit. 137 00:06:18,332 --> 00:06:20,095 You're gonna kick it? Really? 138 00:06:20,167 --> 00:06:22,192 Damn, dude. This thing is like... What? 139 00:06:22,269 --> 00:06:24,362 Enriched in its own way. All right. Let me try something else here. 140 00:06:24,438 --> 00:06:26,030 Try a spin kick. Try a spin kick. Spin kick? 141 00:06:26,106 --> 00:06:28,074 Yeah. You think you can do it? I'm not even sure... 142 00:06:28,142 --> 00:06:29,575 Okay. 143 00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:34,210 Sons of... All right, I'm gonna kick. You ram. Go! 144 00:06:35,616 --> 00:06:37,550 Nice. Good. 145 00:06:40,254 --> 00:06:42,449 How is that not working? No, I don't know. 146 00:06:42,523 --> 00:06:44,423 Are you okay? Yeah, I'm all right. 147 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,459 All right, we're gonna do that some more. But let's get some more of that enriched beer. 148 00:06:46,527 --> 00:06:48,518 Mm-hmm. I'm gonna call Mac and give him the intel. 149 00:06:48,595 --> 00:06:49,527 Yeah. 150 00:06:49,663 --> 00:06:50,925 Holy shit! 151 00:06:50,998 --> 00:06:54,092 All right, see what else you can find out, and call me back. Good work. 152 00:06:54,168 --> 00:06:56,398 Forget the microbrew. What's the intel? 153 00:06:56,470 --> 00:06:59,405 They're having a karaoke contest. Oh! 154 00:06:59,473 --> 00:07:01,202 I'm elevating us to threat level yellow. It's time. 155 00:07:01,275 --> 00:07:02,742 Yellow? Yeah. It's time. 156 00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:05,040 What were we before? Orange, of course. 157 00:07:05,112 --> 00:07:06,977 Orange is much more threatening than yellow! 158 00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:09,038 No, that's an old system. It doesn't work anymore. 159 00:07:09,116 --> 00:07:11,311 Clearly yellow... You go from yellow to orange to red! 160 00:07:11,385 --> 00:07:13,250 Yellow is more threatening than orange! Frank, this is orange! 161 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,548 Have you seen this? Yellow, orange, red! 162 00:07:14,621 --> 00:07:16,145 This is yellow! See this? Red, red! 163 00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:17,918 Is this more threatening? Yellow, orange, red! 164 00:07:17,992 --> 00:07:19,892 It's backwards going to yellow. Wow. 165 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,484 Elevate... Color fight. Listen. 166 00:07:21,562 --> 00:07:23,757 I need you monkeys outta here 'cause my contestants are waiting. 167 00:07:23,831 --> 00:07:25,492 That's a no can do, and I'll tell you why. 168 00:07:25,566 --> 00:07:28,034 The Koreans have escalated the conflict. So I've upgraded us to yellow. 169 00:07:28,102 --> 00:07:30,263 I don't know what that means. It means we're taking over the talent show. 170 00:07:30,337 --> 00:07:31,827 What? No, you're not! It's already done. 171 00:07:31,905 --> 00:07:33,372 Go on. I knew it. I told you. 172 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,135 You're trying to steamroll me. It's not gonna work. Go on. 173 00:07:35,209 --> 00:07:37,734 I'm gonna win this competition. There's nothing you guys can do about it. 174 00:07:37,811 --> 00:07:40,177 You're not even gonna be in it, Dee. You have to face facts. 175 00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:42,340 You have no talent. You're talentless, sweetie. 176 00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,543 Oh, really? Oh, is that so? 177 00:07:44,618 --> 00:07:47,314 Why don't you take a gander at this? 178 00:07:47,388 --> 00:07:50,118 No, Mookie. I don't wanna do it. It's too hot outside. 179 00:07:50,190 --> 00:07:52,124 Right? 180 00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:54,922 What was that? What the hell is that? 181 00:07:54,995 --> 00:07:56,758 Rosie Perez! What? 182 00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:59,560 That's terrible. Oh, come on! You love that one! 183 00:07:59,633 --> 00:08:01,362 You know what, Dee? You're a judge. That's it. 184 00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:03,926 Dee's gonna be a judge. And you know why? 185 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:07,201 Because sitting in judgment of other people is the greatest way to make yourself feel better. 186 00:08:07,274 --> 00:08:09,208 Problem solved. 187 00:08:09,276 --> 00:08:10,607 And go. All right, again. 188 00:08:10,677 --> 00:08:12,907 And go. You might have to give me the duster back. 189 00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:15,312 It's not working, man. Aw, it'll work. Go! 190 00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:17,111 All right, it's not working, dude. All right, okay. 191 00:08:17,184 --> 00:08:18,811 I gotta use your head or something. All right, yes, yes. 192 00:08:18,886 --> 00:08:20,945 Hold me sideways and use my head like a battering ram. 193 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:23,319 All right. Now pick me up off the ground, okay? 194 00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,721 Why are you people ruining my door? 195 00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:26,726 Yes! Good! Hello! All right. Yeah. 196 00:08:26,794 --> 00:08:30,594 Are you the owner? I owner. I Mr. Kim. 197 00:08:30,664 --> 00:08:32,598 All right. Okay, good. Well, Mr... 198 00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:37,262 Wait. You say Mr. Kim? Yes! I Mr. Kim! 199 00:08:37,337 --> 00:08:41,205 Wow. You should really do something different with your hair because... 200 00:08:41,275 --> 00:08:43,675 Yeah. You're not coming across at all like a man to me. 201 00:08:43,744 --> 00:08:46,076 You don't look or seem like a man. Look... 202 00:08:46,146 --> 00:08:49,240 If you don't tell us what's in that microbrew, so help me, God... 203 00:08:49,316 --> 00:08:52,183 we will send you people back to the Stone Age. 204 00:08:52,252 --> 00:08:55,187 I no respond to bully! 205 00:08:57,257 --> 00:08:59,248 What are you gonna do about it? 206 00:08:59,326 --> 00:09:01,157 You're messin' with the wrong country, pal! 207 00:09:01,228 --> 00:09:03,025 That's an act of aggression right there, buddy! 208 00:09:03,097 --> 00:09:05,224 Every Asian know martial arts? They have to learn it when they grow up. 209 00:09:05,299 --> 00:09:06,323 That's right. It's like school. 210 00:09:08,402 --> 00:09:10,996 Yes! 211 00:09:11,071 --> 00:09:13,164 Okay, okay. Okay! 212 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,538 Oh, God. Jesus! That guy is such a dickhead! 213 00:09:15,609 --> 00:09:17,941 You don't have to take that from him. I hope you know that. 214 00:09:18,011 --> 00:09:21,037 If I don't do what he say, he punish me! 215 00:09:21,115 --> 00:09:25,313 He terrible man, okay? Always, "Work, work, work!" He treat me like slave! 216 00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:26,875 Slave? Slave? He's got slaves? 217 00:09:26,954 --> 00:09:29,115 He's has slaves in there? What kind of a communist dictatorship... 218 00:09:29,189 --> 00:09:31,817 is this piece of shit running? Hey, I no phone, no TV! 219 00:09:31,892 --> 00:09:33,883 I not even allowed to drink the beer! 220 00:09:33,961 --> 00:09:36,452 What? No! 221 00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:38,464 No! That is not acceptable! 222 00:09:38,532 --> 00:09:40,090 You're mad about the beer thing? I'm v... I'm ver... 223 00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:41,930 Are you not mad about the beer thing? Yeah. Of course I am. 224 00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:44,027 Look, you should be able to drink beer. That's what happens in America. 225 00:09:44,104 --> 00:09:45,901 Yeah. In America, you can... You can drink beer. Look. 226 00:09:45,973 --> 00:09:47,634 I'll tell you what. You come down to Paddy's Pub, all right? 227 00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:49,437 We'll let you drink all the beer you want. 228 00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:51,068 You can smoke your cigarettes. Mm-hmm. 229 00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:53,739 You won't have to deal with the trash 'cause I deal with the trash. 230 00:09:53,814 --> 00:09:55,645 You do trash? He takes out the trash. 231 00:09:55,716 --> 00:09:57,206 Me trash. He captures the rats. 232 00:09:57,284 --> 00:10:00,048 You beer, me trash, okay? I beer, you trash! 233 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,054 I trash, yes! 234 00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,058 Okay! 235 00:10:15,302 --> 00:10:17,566 Holy shit, bro. Did you just see that? 236 00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:20,106 Yeah. She made a meaningful gesture towards me. 237 00:10:20,174 --> 00:10:24,577 She made... No, dude. She was gesturing to me. 238 00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:26,806 I had my arm out like this. 239 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,144 Yeah, why were you doing that? 'Cause she extended to me. 240 00:10:29,216 --> 00:10:31,514 And then there was stuff in the eyes between us. 241 00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:33,348 And my arm was at her. All right. 242 00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:35,183 Sure, pal. Wha... 243 00:10:40,194 --> 00:10:43,755 But the dog was buried by the bright sunlight 244 00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:48,631 And the old man died In his sleep last night 245 00:10:48,702 --> 00:10:51,227 And the young girl never did get... 246 00:10:51,305 --> 00:10:54,206 All right! All right! All right! That's enough. That's enough. Thank you. 247 00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:58,574 Well... Martha, you are terrible. 248 00:10:58,645 --> 00:11:01,876 I wanted to pluck out my eyes and jam them into my ears. 249 00:11:01,949 --> 00:11:05,077 I wanted to pummel you with a manhole cover. 250 00:11:05,152 --> 00:11:08,883 There is no point to you. Oh, no... 251 00:11:08,956 --> 00:11:11,584 Sweetie, I thought you were really talented. 252 00:11:11,658 --> 00:11:14,058 And I liked it, what you had on your fingers. 253 00:11:14,127 --> 00:11:15,719 And your hair is so... 254 00:11:15,796 --> 00:11:19,630 It's like it has a bulb on the front of it. 255 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,362 It just wasn't happening for me, dog. I mean... 256 00:11:22,436 --> 00:11:24,529 What? No, dog. I was not... 257 00:11:24,605 --> 00:11:27,199 It was the finger cymbals need work. Oh! 258 00:11:27,274 --> 00:11:30,607 And the jewelry and everything just... 259 00:11:30,677 --> 00:11:32,804 It was... It was just okay, dog. 260 00:11:32,879 --> 00:11:35,211 Is it a yes or no, Frank? It's gotta be no, dog. 261 00:11:35,282 --> 00:11:38,149 Dee? Oh, I just think you're so full of magic. 262 00:11:38,218 --> 00:11:40,482 You're like a big, round wizard. Right. 263 00:11:40,554 --> 00:11:42,818 Well, it's a no from me. So... off you go, Martha. 264 00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:49,091 Why did you get so drunk? You got drunk! 265 00:11:49,162 --> 00:11:51,687 I'm just really exhausted. What's in that cup? 266 00:11:51,765 --> 00:11:54,359 Rum and Cokes. Why are you getting wasted? 267 00:11:54,434 --> 00:11:56,766 Maybe because you dicks stole my talent show. 268 00:11:56,837 --> 00:11:58,702 Do you have any idea how important this is? "You have any idea... " 269 00:11:58,772 --> 00:12:01,570 We're trying to save the pub crawl. Really? This is what you're doing? 270 00:12:01,642 --> 00:12:04,202 You know what's gonna happen if the North Koreans take over? 271 00:12:04,278 --> 00:12:06,838 They're gonna ruin our way of life! Get your shit together, dog! 272 00:12:06,913 --> 00:12:08,210 Next! 273 00:12:09,783 --> 00:12:11,808 Duster Look out, man 274 00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:14,410 Here comes a brother The man is in a duster 275 00:12:14,488 --> 00:12:16,581 He's a superfine fantastic man 276 00:12:16,657 --> 00:12:18,955 He loves to wear his du... 277 00:12:19,026 --> 00:12:21,119 Oh, my God! 278 00:12:21,194 --> 00:12:23,526 Oh, my God! You scared me. What are you doing? 279 00:12:23,597 --> 00:12:26,498 I run away. Okay. 280 00:12:26,566 --> 00:12:29,865 Good. Uh... What are you doing here? 281 00:12:29,936 --> 00:12:34,464 I follow you home because I like you. 282 00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,975 Nice. Good. I... 'Cause I knew... 283 00:12:37,044 --> 00:12:39,342 I knew that... Right on! Okay. 284 00:12:39,413 --> 00:12:41,643 Wait. All the way home? Yes. 285 00:12:42,949 --> 00:12:45,179 So you saw me eat that Hot Pocket I found in the garbage? 286 00:12:45,252 --> 00:12:48,483 Yes. Any thoughts on that? 287 00:12:48,555 --> 00:12:50,750 No. Oh, man. I like you. 288 00:12:50,824 --> 00:12:52,815 Come on in. I like you. 289 00:12:52,893 --> 00:12:54,827 Yeah. 290 00:12:57,768 --> 00:13:00,066 Cartoon Soundtrack) 291 00:13:00,137 --> 00:13:02,435 Hello there, Dennis. It's Charlie. 292 00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:05,442 How you doin'? Hey, you're never gonna guess who showed up at my... 293 00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:08,707 That's a very good guess. Congratulations. But the point is that I have defeated you... 294 00:13:08,779 --> 00:13:11,304 at this little game of hearts and... and minds so that... 295 00:13:11,382 --> 00:13:14,283 No, don't come over. No, dude. I don't want you to come over, dude. 296 00:13:14,352 --> 00:13:15,876 Don't c... Dennis, don't come over. 297 00:13:15,953 --> 00:13:18,751 D... Well, then why... No, I'm not scared. I just don't want you comin'... 298 00:13:18,823 --> 00:13:21,553 Goddamn it! No! Why did I call him? 299 00:13:30,201 --> 00:13:33,830 Good evening. I need to speak to Mr. Kim, please. 300 00:13:33,905 --> 00:13:36,635 I Mr. Kim. Hmm. 301 00:13:36,707 --> 00:13:40,108 All right. Uh, Mr. Kim, my name is... 302 00:13:40,177 --> 00:13:43,943 R Rita F-Fire... s. 303 00:13:44,015 --> 00:13:49,385 Hmm, Fires. And I am from the National Health Inspectors... 304 00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:51,921 Uh, Store. And I need to... 305 00:13:51,989 --> 00:13:55,857 I need to make sure that your secret microbrew is up to code. 306 00:13:55,927 --> 00:13:57,758 Health inspector? 307 00:13:57,828 --> 00:14:00,729 Hmm. Oh, you bet your ass, Kim. 308 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,698 Okay, all right! I just... God! 309 00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,701 I just want your stupid recipe! 310 00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:07,533 You... terrible actress. 311 00:14:07,605 --> 00:14:09,630 Wait! Okay. 312 00:14:09,707 --> 00:14:12,369 Hmm, I'll sleep with you. 313 00:14:12,443 --> 00:14:16,379 Your breath smell like vomit. 314 00:14:16,447 --> 00:14:19,075 Okay, but... 315 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,482 I know recipe. 316 00:14:22,954 --> 00:14:26,048 You do? Well, what... What is it? 317 00:14:26,123 --> 00:14:28,148 Offer still stand? 318 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:35,663 All right. Where is she? Ah, dude, you might as well turn right back around, man. 319 00:14:35,733 --> 00:14:38,065 'Cause she's in love with me, dude. Uh, yeah, I doubt that. 320 00:14:38,135 --> 00:14:39,466 Hi. Hi. 321 00:14:39,537 --> 00:14:41,937 We have so much in common, you're not gonna believe. What? 322 00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,998 Uh, we both like pizza. Pizza! 323 00:14:45,076 --> 00:14:47,636 Well, I like pizza. Everybody loves pizza. 324 00:14:47,712 --> 00:14:49,043 Oh, good. We both hate mean people. 325 00:14:49,113 --> 00:14:50,808 Who likes mean people? We don't like mean people. 326 00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:51,848 Well, neither do I. 327 00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:53,850 Well, we both think kissing's gross. 328 00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:56,250 How is kissing gross? You know, we just don't like it. 329 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,015 We're not into it, you know? Probably, it's... Sticky. 330 00:14:58,089 --> 00:15:01,252 Is it sticky? It's, like, there's candy and beer in your mouth. 331 00:15:01,325 --> 00:15:03,850 How is it sticky? From candy and beer? I don't know. 332 00:15:03,928 --> 00:15:06,726 This is bullshit. Clearly there's some kind of language barrier thing happening here. 333 00:15:06,797 --> 00:15:10,096 So I'm gonna go ahead and pop this shirt off and finish this thing once and for all, Charles. 334 00:15:10,167 --> 00:15:12,101 Charlie? Mm-hmm? 335 00:15:12,169 --> 00:15:13,932 He smell like dog fart. 336 00:15:14,005 --> 00:15:16,565 Eww! She says you smell like a dog fart. 337 00:15:16,641 --> 00:15:18,438 Oh, yeah? All right, take It off. Take It off for us. 338 00:15:18,509 --> 00:15:20,238 Dog fart, huh? 339 00:15:53,444 --> 00:15:55,878 Am I in America? 340 00:15:58,949 --> 00:16:00,576 Ladies. 341 00:16:00,651 --> 00:16:02,312 Nice turnout, huh? Yeah. 342 00:16:02,386 --> 00:16:04,217 But I'm getting a little nervous here, Frank. 343 00:16:04,288 --> 00:16:06,722 I've heard some rumblings about Mr. Kim's, okay? We gotta keep these people here. 344 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,760 Don't worry, Mac. I got a plan. 345 00:16:11,162 --> 00:16:13,892 Mac, I got problems, man. 346 00:16:13,964 --> 00:16:16,728 I can see that. Why are you wearing the duster with no shirt? 347 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,235 I'm trying to get my mojo back. Charlie and I have been competing... 348 00:16:19,303 --> 00:16:21,237 over the same Korean chick, and he's like totally winning. 349 00:16:21,305 --> 00:16:23,535 Why are you wearing my duster with no shirt? 350 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,167 This is the perfect combination. Do I really have to explain this to you, bro? 351 00:16:26,243 --> 00:16:28,507 Yes! Explain it to me. Are you kidding me? 352 00:16:28,579 --> 00:16:32,345 Black leather duster... tough, muscular dude underneath it, inside of it. Very sexual. 353 00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:35,044 Check this out. Check this out. What's with the hose? 354 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,815 Hang on. I'm gonna spray it on the women's tops. 355 00:16:37,888 --> 00:16:40,857 We get a better look at their talents if their shirts are wet. 356 00:16:40,925 --> 00:16:43,018 Wet T-shirt contest. I like that. Wait, Frank. Frank. 357 00:16:43,094 --> 00:16:45,824 How are we gonna have a wet T-shirt contest without girls? 358 00:16:45,896 --> 00:16:48,990 We never got any contestants. We can use the girls that are here. 359 00:16:49,066 --> 00:16:50,761 They don't even know they're contestants. 360 00:16:50,835 --> 00:16:53,804 You can't just blast people with a hose in a bar. They will leave. 361 00:16:53,871 --> 00:16:56,066 Lock the door. No, that's not gonna work. 362 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,573 Frank, go get your gun. 363 00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,906 Perfect. Go over to Mr. Kim. Convince him to close for the day. 364 00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,242 I can do that. Oh, excuse us! Excuse us, please. 365 00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:04,144 Excuse us! Heyoh! 366 00:17:04,215 --> 00:17:07,275 Heyoh! I love when you say it! 367 00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:09,512 We are so happy. And do you know why? 368 00:17:09,587 --> 00:17:12,215 We just got engaged. Yes! 369 00:17:12,289 --> 00:17:15,053 You guys just got engaged? Yes! 370 00:17:15,126 --> 00:17:16,218 Yes. Now we're engaged. 371 00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:18,193 All right, do you want to have some champagne? 372 00:17:18,262 --> 00:17:19,991 Yes. We're gonna have some champagne to celebrate this. 373 00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:22,032 Come on. Champagne! 374 00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:25,068 Did you guys happen to catch what Sun-Li was wearing? White tank top. 375 00:17:25,136 --> 00:17:27,764 A white tank top. Exactly. I was thinking we could talk Charlie... 376 00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:30,466 into having her enter the wet T-shirt contest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 377 00:17:30,541 --> 00:17:32,133 We'll tell him it's all a part of Dee's talent show. 378 00:17:32,209 --> 00:17:35,235 Right. When she jumps up on the stage, we'll blast her with the water. 379 00:17:35,312 --> 00:17:38,213 The crowd will go crazy. The other girls are gonna want to join in. 380 00:17:38,282 --> 00:17:41,012 And we will save the bar. And then she'll break up with Charlie... 381 00:17:41,085 --> 00:17:44,452 ruining any hopes for happiness that that son of a bitch ever had. 382 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:47,423 I agree with the first part. But the second part seems incredibly harsh. 383 00:17:47,491 --> 00:17:50,324 That's the best goddamn part! Look, you guys deal with that. 384 00:17:50,394 --> 00:17:52,419 I'm gonna go take care of Mr. Kim. 385 00:17:52,496 --> 00:17:54,430 Yeah, what do you want... Boom! 386 00:17:54,498 --> 00:17:57,331 What the hell is this? Oh, only Mr. Kim's secret microbrew recipe. 387 00:17:57,401 --> 00:17:58,333 Hmm. 388 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:01,902 It's in Korean. What am I supposed to do with this? 389 00:18:01,972 --> 00:18:03,963 Maybe I can get Sun-Li to translate it for us. 390 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,943 Sun-Li? Hi. Could you read this for us, please? 391 00:18:08,012 --> 00:18:10,480 Okay. 392 00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:14,450 "Bony American is dirty, dirty whore. 393 00:18:14,518 --> 00:18:19,148 She bring much shame to herself and country. " 394 00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,818 Great. Good work, Dee. Yeah. You really topped yourself this year, Sis. 395 00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,884 Charlie, can we talk to you for a sec? 396 00:18:27,765 --> 00:18:30,199 You whore? Mm-hmm. 397 00:18:30,267 --> 00:18:32,258 Good. 398 00:18:41,779 --> 00:18:46,011 What you want? I'm gonna have to ask you to shut this place down. 399 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:51,180 I am shut down. Look around, you jerk! No one here. 400 00:18:53,858 --> 00:18:55,826 Yeah, I was kinda wondering about that. What's up? 401 00:18:55,893 --> 00:18:58,589 My daughter, Sun-Li... she is missing! 402 00:18:58,662 --> 00:19:01,028 Korean broad? You seen her? 403 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,259 Uh, no. 404 00:19:03,334 --> 00:19:05,199 Oh, she no come home last night! 405 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:09,399 Well, I'm sure she's gonna come back. She probably just met some guy. 406 00:19:09,473 --> 00:19:12,374 What you talking about? You sick freak! 407 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,934 Sun-Li only 12 years old! 408 00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:18,778 What? She just 12-year-old girl! 409 00:19:20,317 --> 00:19:23,252 Oh, shit! 410 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,288 Attention, everybody. 411 00:19:25,356 --> 00:19:29,622 Hey, attention. Our first contestant halls from North Korea. 412 00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,627 That's right, North Korea, everybody. 413 00:19:31,695 --> 00:19:33,629 She's gonna be doing something or other. 414 00:19:33,697 --> 00:19:36,393 And then we're gonna blast her with water from a hose. 415 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,435 It's gonna be great, right? You're gonna want to stick around for this. 416 00:19:38,502 --> 00:19:43,565 And listen, ladies, if you wanna get in on this action, please do not hesitate to do so. 417 00:19:43,641 --> 00:19:46,576 Okay, take it away. 418 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,636 All set. Uh, wait a second. 419 00:19:49,713 --> 00:19:53,877 You're gonna blast my fiancée with water, exposing her breasts to this entire crowd? 420 00:19:53,951 --> 00:19:56,385 Yeah, man. Is that cool? That's very cool. 421 00:19:56,453 --> 00:19:58,944 Awesome. All right, Sun-Li, hit it! 422 00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:03,119 Oh, Great Leader we come to enjoy you 423 00:20:03,193 --> 00:20:08,631 You make sun and moon In the sky 424 00:20:08,699 --> 00:20:11,964 The earth is spinning because of your laughter 425 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:14,163 All right, she's bombing. Blast her. All righty. 426 00:20:15,639 --> 00:20:17,732 All right, everybody! Three, two... 427 00:20:17,808 --> 00:20:19,298 One! 428 00:20:36,327 --> 00:20:38,352 Oh, God! Come on, Frank! What are you doing, Frank? 429 00:20:38,429 --> 00:20:41,990 Son of a bitch! The wet T-shirt contest is off! 430 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:44,762 Why? She's only 12 years old! 431 00:20:44,835 --> 00:20:46,462 What? 432 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,005 You're just 12? Twelve, Charlie! 433 00:20:49,073 --> 00:20:51,007 Oh, shit. That actually explains a lot. 434 00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,873 Wait. Where are you guys going? You guys don't have to leave! 435 00:20:53,944 --> 00:20:55,775 No, stay, drink! We didn't know she was 12. 436 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,481 Goddamn it! Well, there goes the pub crawl. Oh, son of a bitch. 437 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,920 Well, I feel better about myself. 438 00:21:05,990 --> 00:21:08,857 Why? Uh, all I did was sleep with... 439 00:21:08,926 --> 00:21:11,121 a toothless, oily busboy for a recipe. 440 00:21:11,195 --> 00:21:14,995 Charlie banged a 12 year old. No, I didn't. 441 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,033 What? Yeah. I didn't even kiss that girl. 442 00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,728 Like, nothing happened. Really? 443 00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:22,397 Yeah, absolutely. I can't believe you banged a toothless busboy. 444 00:21:25,843 --> 00:21:28,971 Those goddamn North Koreans. They are some sneaky bastards. 445 00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:30,980 Yeah. Yep. 38496

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.