All language subtitles for Dick The Documentary (2013)

- [Interviewer]
just for the record,

could you tell me
what your name is?

- Is it, I see the
blinking light,

it is recording now?

- [Interviewer] Yeah.

- Alright.

- And do you mind, just kind
of holding it like this.

- [Man In Black] You don't
have to worry about the socks.

- Yeah, no one's
gonna see them anyway.

(low music)

- [Interviewer] You
must work out a lot.

- Yeah, you could say that.

- You want my real name?

- [Interviewer] Yeah.

- Oh. (laughs) You
don't know my real name!

- [Interviewer] Give
me your last initial.

Can you tell me what it
was about the project

that kinda caught
your attention?

- I wanted to know why
you came up with this,

why you wanted to do this.

- It's something different,

something that's not
really discussed, you know?

Not in public, so to speak.

- Never done any nude scenes.

- [Interviewer] First time, huh?

- First time.

- I love being naked, and I,

or nekkid as we say in Texas.

- Excuse me, we were
supposed to be doing this

with my clothes on?

- [Interviewer] Okay, no, you
can take your clothes off.

- Okay, I didn't realize that.

- The idea that this is the
focus of most men's life,

at the basest level,
it runs their life,

but even at the higher
level, it's still there.

- I'm always seeing things
about female body parts,

but never about male body parts.

- There's not a good discourse,

there's not a good
ability to say,

okay, this is my dick, this
is how my dick interacts,

like, what does your dick do?

(driving music)

- My dick just turned 65.

- I'm 23 years old.

- My dick is 26 years old.

- 56 years old.

- My dick is, I'd say 18
years old, but I'm 35.

- [Interviewer] You're 70...

- Nine.

- [Interviewer] 79.

And do you say dick, penis,
cock, what do you normally say?

- What do I say, um,
I probably say dick.

There certainly are
lots of euphemisms.

- [Interviewer] What
are some euphemisms?

- Peter, Johnson, Mr
Johnson, little Bill.

- It's been named
by women, you know,

they named it different things.

- [Interviewer] Like what?

- Um, one girl called him Bob.

- In seventh grade, my
girlfriend named my dick Pepe.

- Schlong, or dong, that's
thrown around too much.

When someone has
a dong, you know,

they've got some shit
between their legs.

When they got a schlong,
it's like, shit!

- My girlfriend at the
time called it Richard,

and then her crotch is Gina,

so it's the Richard and
Gina show, you know.

- I've never given
my cock a name.

I think it's
completely ridiculous.

- [Interviewer] Do you
have any recollection

of when you first kind
of became conscious

that you had a dick?

- Um, when I was a kid,

I was in, I think I was peeing.

And I always had a
big head on my dick,

and I still remember
looking down

and thinking it
was like a helmet,

because I remember watching
Hogan's Heroes as a kid,

and Germans used to have
those round helmets.

- When I was like 12 or 13,
maybe, I had wet dreams,

and then my mother realized,
when she was doing the laundry,

what was going on.

- [Interviewer] And
did she say something?

- Yeah, she said you should
have a talk with your father.

- [Interviewer] And, did you?

- No, absolutely not. (chuckles)

And of course my father never
discussed anything like that,

so that was not gonna happen.

And from the minute she said it,

then I put, like, a
negative connotation

on what was happening.

And I would, I had this
one pair of underwear

that I would sleep
in every night,

so that if I had a wet dream

I would just take it and
throw it under the bed.

So she never got another
pair of underwear.

- When I was about 12 years old,

that's the age that most
people go into puberty,

you know, they're beginning
to grow hair and get bigger,

and for some reason
or other, I didn't.

I was kind of at a standstill.

And my mother took me
to our family doctor,

and he and her
discussed in front of me

that my penis was
not keeping up,

it was small, it hadn't,
you know, matured.

I did not have any
conversation with my father

about my penis, about
sex, about whether

it was too big, too
small, or nothing, period.

- [Interviewer]
Is that something

that you would have
wanted to have?

- Yeah.

- The closest I ever came
to seeing my father naked

was when he had just
had his appendix out.

And he was in the bathtub,
and so he just, you know,

very, very definitely,
covered his genitalia up,

and I saw his appendix scar,

and also, you know,
I was thinking,

I wonder what's under his hand?

- There's a story
that my mother tells

about me being young and
walking me down in a stroller,

you know, I was this
cute little blond baby,

and everyone would walk by
and kinda look and smile,

oh, little baby little baby,

and she noticed
that after a while,

the faces on people
walking towards her

had kind of changed
from, you know, glee,

to curiosity, to concern,
to like abject horror.

And, finally, you
know, someone gasped,

and she looked
down, and I (laughs)

basically, well, I'll
just kind of do it.

Makes more sense.

I'm sitting there, as a baby,

and I've got my dick
and I'm just doing this.

Right?

(light music)

- And then, ten, took
me like oh I'm not gay,

so why would I wanna look
at a cock, I'm not gay.

You know what I mean?

But I, but I always
start to think,

people say that, you know,

women are beautiful
to look at naked

and men are kind of ugly, I
don't know if that's true.

But I'm not sure that the penis

is a particularly, you know,
pleasant looking thing.

- Yeah, everybody's
is different.

- [Interviewer] And I'm
also noticing on your balls,

it's very prominent, the crease.

- Yes, well it
certainly is right now,

because I'm cold, they're all
kinda, you know, up tight.

Um, if we were shooting outside

on a warm summer day and
they were hanging down

a bit further, you know, you
wouldn't necessarily see that.

There's so much of a
fine layer of muscle,

that's under the skin that
most people don't realize,

the reason why they
contract and they distend

is because, it needs to
regulate the temperature,

in your testes when
they produce sperm,

the sperm needs to be, I think
somewhere around 95 degrees,

so it's slightly colder
than your core temperature.

And so when you're cold
they want to be closer

to the core temperature,
when you're warmer,

they distend to be cooler.

The skin tends to stretch out,

making the heat
escape easier as well.

- [Interviewer] It's
brilliant technology.

- It is absolutely incredible.

- [Interviewer] It's
my understanding

that if you had been a female,
that would be the labia.

- Yes.

Yeah, that's where the
labia would have been,

these would have been,
this would have been

the skin of the labia, which
is why it's so similar,

the penis would have been,
obviously, the clitoris,

however the urethra would
move down slightly in between,

and the testes obviously
become the ovaries.

- [Interviewer] Where
is it most of the time?

- Right, right along
here is where I'm,

where I'm very most sensitive.

I'm right-handed,
(laughs) when I'm warmer

it goes to the side, it
goes to the right hand side,

for whatever reason, that's
always just been the case.

- [Interviewer] Is that
from masturbating too much?

- I dunno, can you
masturbate too much?

(both laughing)

If you can, I probably
hit that limit.

- Well I, I mean I
love to jerk off.

- Yeah, I do that quite a lot.

- I don't know about obsessed

and I don't know about chronic,

I mean like, chronic
makes it sound like,

you know, I'm in the corner
smoking a little crack pipe

and then jerking off
or something, you know?

- Got nothing else to do.

- I masturbate a lot,
almost every day.

- Yeah, sometimes I'll
sort of arbitrarily

assign it to the moon, like
the moon's full, yeah, (grunts)

- I've masturbated, let me
think, everywhere but at church.

- In the shower in the morning
before I went to school,

- And it's just stress relief.

- As soon as I got
home from school,

- When I couldn't sleep.

- Open up some porn mags.

- I found my dad's 1979
December issue of Playboy.

I remember there was
this picture of Superman,

next to a picture
of Chevy Chase.

(laughs) And that's when
I came for the first time.

- Once I learned how,
you could not stop me.

I was, I was a menace.

- So I spent a lot of time
in the bathroom or whatever,

but like, who doesn't?

- I kept a log of
when I masturbated.

Trying to figure
out if it was okay

that I was doing it that often.

- Of course I had, I
was wracked with guilt,

because I was a good
active Mormon boy,

and we were taught
that it was wrong,

you're not supposed to do it,

it's, you know, it's
nature's factory,

you're not supposed to
mess with the factory,

otherwise it won't produce

when it's time to
produce or whatever.

- I had one particularly
miserable friend

who told me that
when you jerked off,

your penis would get bigger,

and this was why I didn't want
to show my dick to anybody,

because he would say that
if you have a big dick,

then that indicates that you've
been playing with yourself,

which growing up as a
Catholic, that was a mortal sin

and you were gonna
go straight to hell

and you didn't want
anybody to know about that.

I kept masturbating
all the time,

and I would try to give it
up for Lent, for instance,

but it never worked and I
just kept going back to it,

and then I felt so
guilty afterwards,

so I found this very old,
what was he, Lithuanian priest

who barely spoke English
and I would go to him

in the back confessional and
tell him that I was impure

17 times last week,

and he of course knew
what I was doing,

he had probably
gotten used to me

because I would
come all the time.

And he would tell me to say

a couple of hail
Marys and Our Fathers,

and the funny thing
is that he said,

when you, make sure
that you're not idle,

he said when you go to bed,
make sure that you're not idle,

have a book that you're
reading, and he said

when you wake up in the morning,

get right up out of
bed, don't linger in bed

and the funny thing is I never
jerked off in the morning,

I always did it at night,
and he gave me the idea

that you could also
do it in the morning!

(calm music)

- I was sitting
there and, you know,

I was watching MTV,
kinda glazing out,

and I started, I basically
started doing, um, let's see.

I'm uncircumcised, by the way.

So I started kinda doing
this for some reason.

I don't remember why
I started doing this,

but I started doing this.

And, you know, I was looking
at the helma noon book,

and then a Winger video came on.

I hate Winger.

And there was this one
scene in the Winger video,

where there was a girl
like in a, a loose shirt,

and her kinda, her,
she was wearing like a,

say like a lavender bra,

and she kind of leaned
back a little bit

and just at that
moment I ejaculated

for the first time ever.

And it blew my fucking mind.

Like, it changed everything.

Everything for me.

I, like I didn't
know what to do,

I, like I knew what it was.

I knew how I had
done it, I understood

all the mechanics of
what had just occurred,

but I had no frame of reference

for what an orgasm
actually felt like.

And it was fucking amazing.

It was amazing.

To the extent that I,

I've had some wonderful
sex in my life,

I've had some incredible
orgasms, I've had orgasms

that have made me
actually kind of pass out.

I don't think there's
anything in my life

that has been as profound
as the first time

I actually made myself
come and realizing

that I could do that.

You know, this was
something that's completely

within my grasp, that could
be triggered on a whim,

anyplace, anytime,
that I could just be

in such supreme
and simple rapture.

And I, I kind of tried to
talk to people about it,

like I was so excited that
I like told all my friends,

they're like oh, yeah,
that's jerking off.

Like, what, what?

Like, that's it,
that's jerking off?

They're like yeah,
dude, you know.

Do you wanna just like
stick your dick in a tree

and like fuck it?

I'm like yeah!

Yeah I do, I want to stick
my dick in everything now.

You know?

Like I'll fuck the couch,
I tried to fuck the couch.

You know?

I stuck my dick between
the two couch cushions

and like dry humped it while
watching Dr Detroit, okay.

Totally did it.

Loved it, thought it was great.

Just awesome.

You know?

No one home, yeah. (laughs)

- [Interviewer] Jerk off.

- Yeah, jerk off!

(funky music)

- 20 years old, that was the
first time I ever masturbated.

20 years old.

I thought I was gonna
go straight to hell.

I was, I felt terrible, really.

I felt awful that I would
do something like that.

So, I would have the guilt,
I would go to confession,

confess my sins, and then
turn around and go back out

and do whatever I
was doing before.

Back in those days,
you rarely went off

your particular block or two,

and on the street we
had a girl named Flo.

And, everybody was
getting a piece of Flo.

That's where I got, you
know, my first introduction,

you know, to sexuality.

And I did not have
intercourse then,

Flo was kind enough
to let me feel her up

and show me her breasts and
feel her ass and all that,

but because I was Christian,
very very devout at the time,

I just kind of
shied away from it.

- [Interviewer] Did you ever
have any kind of conversation

with your sons about sexuality?

- Yes, I told them that they are

gonna experience sexual feelings

and they're not gonna
know what it is really,

at the outset, and it's
a feeling that's good,

natural, and you'll have sex
with a whole lot of girls

before you get married.

God bless you and just protect
yourself and protect her.

And treat her with respect,

whether she's the biggest
whore in the world,

or you think she is, you're
as big a whore as she is

if you went to bed with her.

So, treat her with
genuine respect,

and don't feel any guilt.

- [Interviewer] Do you
remember the first time

you ever showed your
dick to someone else?

- Yes. (laughs)

Okay, you want me to
tell you the experience?

- [Interviewer] How old
were you when you did it?

- 12.

I went to the bathroom, I
had a friend came with me,

and he took me into the stall,

and he masturbated me.

And I didn't know what
he was doing to me.

When I finally ejaculated,

I knew (snaps
fingers) everything.

(funky music)

- My mum was a biology teacher,

so I kinda learned the birds
and the bees pretty early.

And I did grow up
in the country,

so I started using
it pretty early too,

and all my friends
were having sex

when they were like 12 or 13.

And I was kinda like, really,
ugh, I wanna have sex.

And, um, I ended up
having sex with this girl.

I met her and she was like, oh,

do you want to come to London?

So I went on a train with her
to London for the weekend,

and her dad was away, and we
had this whole big apartment.

And she had this huge, he
had this huge wad of cash

in his drawer and we kind
of basically stole it,

got drunk on Malibu,
and then got it going.

And I can always remember the
smell of Malibu on her breath.

(laughs) Which is kinda like,

it's a really bad
alcoholic drink.

Yeah, probably had
sex with her like,

10 times over the weekend.

It was pretty good.

- [Interviewer] Tell me,
what, was that typical?

- No, not really, there
was a lot of, you know,

in the back of a field,
or, you know like,

in their mum's house, a quick
one, or something like that,

so it was kind of pretty,
I suppose I was lucky.

I'd be lucky to have
that now, really.

You know what I mean?

- The first sexual
intercourse I ever had

was with my, one of my
good friend's mothers.

In a nutshell, I was
15, and she seduced me.

She showed me a hundred tricks,

that have served me well.

(funky music)

- The first time that I
became aware of my dick

was when I was 11.

I was approached by
someone in the library,

and he followed me
to the bathroom.

He used the urinal next to me.

And he got hard.

And he showed it to me.

He led me upstairs to a
private corner of the library,

and he jerked me off.

And, gave me head.

And all the while, kept
saying, repeatedly,

he asked me my age,
and I told him I'm 11,

and he insisted I was 18.

And he repeatedly
told me how big I was.

And the things that
he was doing to me

was all so new and
so, you know like,

quote-unquote fantastic,
because for my 11-year-old body

and my mind it's like
wow, what's going on?

I really thought that
he broke my penis.

You know, because like this
white stuff was coming out,

and you know, the first
time you ejaculate

it hurts like a mother.

You know, so I was like oh God,

and I ran home, and
luckily my parents lived

like two blocks away
from the library.

And I ran home, you know,
like cupping myself,

and locked myself in the
bathroom, and just cried.

I think for a lot of
people who were molested,

a lot of people who
were traumatized in
some shape or form,

not just molestation,
you tend to see,

you try to see it in
a different light.

And for me, I tried to see it
as my first sexual experience.

Now I even, just now when
you asked me that question,

I still see it as my
first sexual experience.

As if I was like, a willing,
and like, knowing participant.

- I was probably, like, 16.

Two of my friends, we
had gone out drinking,

and they were spending the
night in my friend's tent

in the backyard
of his house and,

I don't know what happened
or how it happened

but the next thing I know,

one of the guys
has his pants down,

and I'm just giving
him a blowjob.

And that's, and then
I remember he came,

and I didn't, and
it got in my mouth

and I was kind of
freaked out a little bit.

But that was, I was probably 16.

And then there was one other
guy that was in the tent,

the next night we got
together and we did it again.

Without the other guy,
because he was like,

oh I didn't get to do that.

So, the other guy, the first
guy is straight and married,

and the other guy is still
one of my best friends.

And he's gay.

When I was in school, like,

we started changing for
gym in seventh grade.

And I had pubic
hair, so I was like,

at least I had that,
there were some guys

that didn't have pubic hair,

and my dick was, I
mean it was small,

so I was like,
uncomfortable, and I thought,

the first time I thought,
oh, I'm gonna throw up,

I can't go to gym class.

But I did, and when
I took my clothes off

and got in the shower,
I actually really liked

being naked with the other guys.

And I remember there was one guy

that had, I mean, who knows
what it would be like now,

but when I was in seventh grade
and he was in seventh grade,

it looked huge to me,

and he would sit on the
bench and it would hang down,

and I was just like, good lord!

And he always got
dressed, he undressed,

and then he would put
his socks on first,

and then put his shirt
on, so he obviously knew

people were looking at it.

And seeing how big it was.

So I was like, you know what,
I'm gonna do the same thing

so I'd put my socks on,
so I kept my dick out

as long as possible even
though it did not compare

to his at all.

But, you get so nervous
about thinking people

are looking at your dick,
but if they make fun of you,

go why were you
looking at my dick?

So, I think nobody
ever said anything.

But of course, I think,
everybody looked.

Everybody was sure
interested to see

what everybody else had.

And luckily I never got,

I never got a hard
one in the shower.

(funky music)

- It's kinda like a, a
thermometer to things.

It just, it kinda tells
you how you're feeling.

- We'd go to the
Castkills for the weekend

at the hotel, and I'd be in the,

my father would drag
my brother and me

into the steam
bath or the sauna,

and I'd be there
with like a hard-on!

You know, sometimes dripping.

You know, just, you
know, it was just,

I guess that's what
being a teenager is like.

You know, and I
think for a long time

I kinda worked on,
or dreamed of the day

when I could be naked
without instantly, you know,

having a hard-on.

- Oh, I remember once
in a drama class,

I got, I got an
erection, you know,

like boys sometimes do
for no apparent reason,

and it was visible,
and some of these guys

that, you know, that used to
give me a bad time, noticed it.

And they used to call me
the Beast, which you know,

to this day, every
time I hear that word,

I kind of freeze up.

But anyway, they
started chanting all
around the schoolyard,

and the hallways at the school,

(singsong) Beastie's got a
boner, Beastie's got a boner.

And I just wanted to go to
a big cliff and jump off,

I was so embarrassed
and humiliated by that.

- Well, shit happens.

It doesn't get hard
sometimes when I'm, you know,

you're in the perfect situation,

you've been waiting
all day for it

and now you can't get
it up, why is that?

Well, I dunno, you know.

And it doesn't even
have to be whisky dick

or anything like that, you know?

Sometimes, you know, you
were, like, oh I got one,

I got one, a good one, you know?

I was all excited,
I was bringing this
girl home one night.

It was so hot to be
like, in the bar,

it was like pushing
up against my jeans,

I'm just like
uncomfortable, whatever,

at the party or whatever it was,

and like, you know, but
all night it was like

hey, let's go in a corner,
let's go in the bathroom,

let's, you know, man I was
hot for this chick, right?

And then like, she let
me know, oh don't worry,

I'm going home with you tonight.

Cool, that's great
to know, I can relax

on all the like,
the extra charm,

you're trying to lay it on.

Cool, she's just like,
go chill out over there,

you know, I gotta say
my goodbyes, whatever.

And just like, we'll
catch you in a bit.

And like, 45 minutes
goes by, whatever.

And it's just like, we
try to be causal about it,

oh, goodbye, we're just
leaving at the same time,

you know, nobody sees her
go out, we get in a cab.

But it's all, like, a
foregone conclusion,

so I know I'm getting this
and I calm down so much

that like we're in the cab,

and everything's now
matter of fact, you know?

It's not like, a minute
ago, or 45 minutes ago

we were all like hot and
interested and like uhh,

I can't wait to tear your
clothes off and unghhh,

it's like, okay,
she's coming home,

she's gonna fuck me.

Great.

So now we're in the
cab and it's like,

well, we're not
making out anymore,

and it's like, how do
you start this up again?

We were feeling it, I'm not
so feeling it right now,

I'm just thinking
about going home,

what's my room look
like, you know,

what's going on, and,
we get to the room,

and I'm like, okay, we
didn't start anything up,

I thought maybe as
we're getting in,

we'd be like, making out,
tearing clothes off, no.

It's not like she took
her clothes off all slow

and like ah, what do you think?

You know, there was
no enticing, nothing.

Now I gotta like,
c'mon, wake up.

What's going on.

C'mon boy!

Yeah, and I'm like try to
think of something hot,

and I'm like, this
girl does it for me,

but like right now she's
totally not doing it for me,

and I dunno.

She said well, you
know, it's cool,

we could just go to
sleep, and, you know,

we'll talk again in the
morning or something.

And I'm like, wow.

How polite, I mean, what
would you expect her to say?

I don't know, but she handled
it I guess the right way,

but like, I mean,
what do I want,

but I dunno, it was
an utter failure.

Like, to me it was a
disaster, I'm like,

no, you don't understand, I
really need these opportunities

and here it is and I'm
like, I'm going nuts.

And I'm like why, what?

Why have you forsaken me, dick?

You know, what the hell?

- Like well, what's
wrong with me,

do I need to go see a doctor?

Am I, like, am I
doing this right?

Do I really like girls?

I mean, I liked girls
for a really long time,

has that changed?

You know?

I don't, I don't know.

Like, what am I doing wrong?

How have I failed?

You know like, if
you break your arm,

that's fine, you can kind
of understand how that goes.

You know, if like, if
you leg gets all tingly

and you can't walk on it,
you understand, you know.

But if your dick
doesn't do something

that you want it to do,
that you expect it to do,

that you understand it to do,

then it throws your
whole world for a loop.

You know?

You're like, well, this
is my dick, this is me.

This is, this is a
reflection of me as a person.

If this doesn't do what
I think it should do,

then I'm not who I should be.

(funky music)

- I had a difficult adolescence.

I knew I was gay, and
while I wasn't effeminate,

I wasn't like the other
boys and I knew I wasn't.

And, and I felt very isolated.

I was abused by this
guy I was working for

at his little TV repair shop,

and he came on to me and
did all sorts of, you know,

unlawful things that nowadays
would land him in jail,

but at that time, you
know, it just didn't.

I had no idea what I
was supposed to do,

or why this was happening,

didn't have any
brothers or a father,

so I went to, I just
lost myself in religion.

I used to go into the church
and just kind of hide there.

The Catholic church
that I belonged to,

and then finally, I
couldn't bear it anymore

and I went and actually
talked to a priest.

So he was the one who
helped me through that

and brought it all to a stop.

I got more and more
involved with religion,

because the church kind
of helped me through that.

I went into a Benedictine
abbey for a little while

and I spent some
time in formation

to become a monk, and a priest.

But as long as I
was in the abbey,

I was completely bound by
all the rules and regulations

and the hierarchies
and the daily orders

and the this, that,
and the other thing,

I was told what to
do, when to do it,

when to get up,
when to go to bed,

it was like being in prison.

And um, the abbey
was up on a hill,

and I used to see a passenger
train, the Canadian,

a famous passenger train
that ran from coast to coast,

it went to Vancouver.

And I could see this train
going, down the hill every day,

so I'd even watch for it
because I knew its timetable.

And if it was on time
I'd see it and I'd think,

God, I want to, I want
to be on that train,

heading to Vancouver.

I want to make my
own mistakes in life,

my own victories, I want
to make my own decisions,

I don't want all this
structure anymore.

I told the Prior I was
thinking about leaving.

And he gave me a day
away from the abbey,

to go into town, into
Vancouver actually,

with the guest master who
had some errands to do.

He asked me where I
wanted to be dropped off,

and for some
reason, I said BCIT.

British Columbia
Institute of Technology.

And I went up onto
this sort of parapet,

and I saw all these guys,
501s were new at that time,

with their white T-shirts
and their backpacks

and their 501s and
their young bodies,

and I was pretty much their age.

And I thought holy
fuck, look at this.

Wow, I mean.

This is what I, I could be

one of these students
with a backpack.

So it wasn't long, and,
and my dick here started,

started wanting to, sort
of have his say in my life.

(laughing)

- [Interviewer] Um, you're
obviously well endowed.

How did that play itself out?

- You know, I have,
like, this big dick.

You know, and like that
was something, you know,

that gave me a
little bit of pride.

But then the problem
becomes later,

when like, you know, you're
piecing it all together,

and like your understanding
of who you are,

then you have to be
more than just a dick.

And, not let people
just let you be that.

I definitely went
through a period

where I resented my penis,

because I thought that
I would never be able

to like, y'know, have a
healthy sex life with someone,

or meet people, without this,
like, thing being in the way.

Only really in the latter
part of my twenties,

like being in a
relationship with someone,

wherein I knew that
he was in it with me,

not just because of my dick.

Because there are people who are

absolutely obsessed with dicks.

- It's just always a
contest, and, who's got

a nicer chest, who
has a nicer car,

it's, it just all
stems from cock.

- I myself am six
and a half in length,

and then six around,
six in girth.

- I would say
maybe eight inches?

- About seven inches.

- 10 and a half inches.

- Six inches.

I think if I measure from
here to the end of it,

or is it from here, here,
that ought to be six inches.

- I've always had the
motto, small dick, fast ass.

That's how I operate.

- Because like, if someone
has big ears, big hands,

big feet, I dunno, what
could be the fourth one?

- [Interviewer] There's
all kinds of theories.

Do you think you can tell
the size of a man's penis

from his hands,
his nose, his feet?

- They don't have a
magazine for regular men

with small penises,
nobody wants to see that.

Everyday men magazine.

- [Interviewer] Do you
think size matters?

- To whom?

- I absolutely
think size matters.

- I used to, but I know
it doesn't any longer.

- I'd be the same if
I had a small dick.

Probably not.

(all laughing)

- I guess, knowing the female
anatomy is more important

than having a big dick.

I kind of study the
way the vagina works,

and like nerve
endings and whatnot,

and you start to
realize that like,

if you have the biggest
dick in the world

or you have a small dick,
it doesn't really matter.

- Well, it depends, I mean,
some women are more sensitive,

and some are just so easy,

like you can give
someone an orgasm

just with a little breast
play, you know, just a little,

they're lucky, you know, because
others you can spend hours

just licking until your
tongue's got cramps,

it's a whole two hour
event before you get

one orgasm out of them,
that's work, man, you know.

- I have to be conscious
not to get too carried away

where I'm driving
in and penetrating,

like hitting her bladder,
hitting her cervix.

That's definitely
been an issue also.

I would say that's
the main issue,

it's not necessarily
the girth, it's,

well part of it's
the girth and part,

a lot of it is
hitting the cervix.

- And why does everybody
want a big dick anyway?

I mean what, what's, why?

- Well I know women who
have started dating a man,

and then dropped him because
his dick wasn't big enough.

Pure and simple.

- Hey, even a jumbo
jet looks small

when it's flying through
the Grand Canyon.

They don't like
to hear that, but.

- You may not be Mr Right,
but you can be Mr Right Now

with a big dick.

Until they found out what a
dick you are, as a person.

Then you're gone.

(funky music)

- I think, you know,
I graduated college,

I come to New York, it's
around '79, '80, pre-AIDS.

Pretty free-spirited time.

I guess you know, on some
level I began to say,

oh yeah, the guys
with the big dicks,

they get a lot more attention.

And I had a friend who
said something to me,

I'm sure he's right, he said,
yeah they get more attention,

but he said it was
my attitude too.

You know, if I had the attitude
of a guy with a big dick

I'd get that same attention.

I actually, I like my genitalia.

But I wish it was bigger,

I wish I had more
equipment to play with.

There's this thing,
bigger is better.

Even if not in reality,
in that perception,

and if it's obvious
I'm not bigger,

well, you know, I want
to be desired too.

I want to be standing
here, and I want people

who are looking at the
camera to be going,

wow, he looks great,
wow I want that!

I want to be, you know,
stimulating people

and attractive to people.

- [Interviewer]
So, what do you do?

What's your process
with self-acceptance?

- I still, you know, I still
have some sort of relationship,

some sort of tension about,
you know, my dick size.

But I'm not like, really, a
dick-oriented guy so much.

Maybe if I had a
big dick I would be,

I'd be like hey, it's all
about the dick! (laughing)

I'm one of these type
of guys, who like,

I go to the gym, and when I'm
in the locker room, I'm naked.

This is it, I'm not
gonna, you know,

it's not like high school,
I'm not gonna hide it anymore.

And you know, I've been with
my partner for 28 years,

and if I ever bring
this up to him,

he's always like,
I like your dick!

You know, I wouldn't
want it to be any bigger.

And I know he means that.

I have this rap, kind of, about
how I think, at this point

in society, like,
having a small dick

is like the last thing it's okay

for everybody to
make fun of still.

You know, it's belittling,
it's, you know, it's a joke

that's based on the idea that
somebody with a small dick

is less than.

I even have a friend, who
I've shared this stuff with,

we're driving in the car,
and some guy passes her,

and she makes some
small dick joke.

I was like, wow, I
bared my soul to you,

I told you this intimate thing,

and here you are making
a small dick joke.

It's actually really painful.

You know?

Yeah.

It's really painful.

(dramatic music)

- [Interviewer] Well,
there are a lot of men

who were cut and grew up
really not happy about it.

- Oh I know, my nephew is.

He had expressed that
he was really angry

that they had cut him
when he had no choice.

- I just think it's
ridiculous, doing that,

which is a process that started

when the doughboys
in World War One

were getting these horrific
wounds that were hard to clean,

and then after that,
everybody was circumcised.

You know, the time and place
for it had long since passed.

You know, we're not living
in the desert anymore

with a shortage of water, so.

Yes, I regret having
lost my foreskin.

- You can stroke my
dick all you want to,

but just don't pull it back,
it just feels so weird.

Like I have no problems with,
you know, that sensation

while I'm having intercourse,

but if it's outside in
the open air and all that,

like, it just feels so weird
when someone else does it.

- It is a different level
of intimacy, I think.

- Wouldn't, don't mind pulling
my foreskin back at all,

I mean I think it,
it's, first of all

you have to do it a lot
in order to keep it clean.

- [Interviewer] Well
tell me about that.

- What, you want
me to peel it back?

- [Interviewer] Yeah,
nobody's, well just tell me,

you know, nobody's
talked about, uh.

What you have to do.

- If you don't, if you
don't peel it back every day

and wash carefully,

it, I think the term is smegma.

S-M-E-G-M-A?

Which is like white stuff that,
that accumulates in there.

And if you don't peel it
back and clean that off,

it would, I suppose
eventually it would give you

an infection of some sort.

But it certainly
does have an odor.

- And uh, you know,
I hear it's cleaner,

nothing gets caught
under the hood I guess,

so better for me.

- I have, I have, when I
masturbate, I do not need lube.

I can, I have enough
skin that I can move,

and still even when I get hard,

and right now I can even
pull it over, you know,

to pretend to be uncut,

I just don't have enough
for it to stay, so I am cut,

but it is, I am very
appreciative to my doctor,

whoever that was that I was
not circumcised tightly.

- Taking away the
foreskin, I've read,

removes something like
200,000 nerve endings.

- If you're not circumcised
and you have the flap

that covers the
tip of your penis,

then the tip of your penis
stays more sensitive.

Because, the tip of our
penis is always exposed,

which means it's always
rubbing on things,

and it gets desensitized
after a while.

- You know, hearing that
it takes off sensitivity,

I'm like wow, how much more
sensitive can this thing get?

- [Interviewer]
How would you feel

if your penis no
longer functioned?

- That'd be terrible. (laughs)

Terrible, you know, just,
a man's life, I think.

- If it didn't work anymore?

Wow, like if I was
paralyzed in a car crash or,

some bizarre, like, freaking
Lorena Bobbitt situation

where your penis gets chopped
off and they can't find it,

I would, oh, man.

I don't know what I
would do with myself.

- Erectile dysfunction
would bother me a lot.

I mean, if I couldn't
get a hard-on,

it would definitely bother me.

- When I'm 75 or 80, it's
not gonna work anymore,

so I know that, I'm
prepared for that.

- Actually, my brother walked
in on my mother and father.

They were both in, my mother
late 70s, my father early 80s.

And she was jerking him off.

My mom was proud of the fact

that his pecker was still
working at 83 years old.

My father was operated on
in his mid-80s for prostate,

and the sadistic doctor
just severed his nerves

and my father couldn't
get an erection anymore,

and he, after that he
just went into a deep funk

and was dead within a year.

His dick was a very
important part of his,

his personality, who he was.

- I was diagnosed with
prostate cancer in 1998.

And uh, it's a life-changing
experience, it really is.

When the doctor told me I was
not gonna have a sex life,

that everything
was gonna come out,

and that was it, I said
no, and then he was really

in a hurry to do the surgery,
really in a big hurry.

Which, my instincts,
which are really good,

told me don't do it.

So I researched and I
found out two doctors

that came up with
a new procedure.

Where they took
the prostate out,

but they spared the nerves.

Which meant, theoretically,
that after you healed,

and you took Viagra or
something like that,

you could get an erection.

I was always very
active sexually,

and I was going out at the
time with a beautiful woman,

she was homecoming
queen of her college,

she was in pageants,
she was really

an awesome looking woman.

And sex was great.

So I didn't want to give
that up, I really didn't.

So, when I got out of hospital

and I recuperated and
I went back to see him

after three months,
he gave me Viagra,

and it produced a soft erection.

Not an erection that you
could penetrate a woman with.

She was supposed to
try to stimulate me,

and she fell asleep with
my limp penis in her hand.

And after that it
was all downhill.

- [Interviewer] How
does that make you feel?

- It made me feel like shit.

It made me feel that I
was less than normal.

It made me feel that I couldn't

even have a relationship with
a woman, because eventually,

if the relationship goes
forward and it's good,

sometime or other there's
gonna be sex involved.

And I couldn't perform.

Atrophy begins a little
also, in your penis,

if it doesn't, you know,
get hard for a while.

So there was a doctor who
was in charge of sexology.

He was the premiere
guy in penile implants.

I said hey, I don't know
how long I'm gonna be here,

and I want to want a woman,

I want to lay down
next to a woman,

I want to have her in my arms
I want to have sex with her.

So I went to him, and
I got the implant.

What they do is, they
implant through your scrotum.

They take two cylinders,
flat cylinders,

and they stick them on
both sides of your penis.

And then, they fill
the two cylinders up

with salt water solution.

And then they put a
ball in your scrotum

which when you press on
the ball, you get erect.

That's it.

Since I had prostate surgery,

even when I couldn't
get completely hard,

the orgasms since I
had it are fantastic.

If I have an orgasm,
it comes in waves.

Four or five, six times
in a row, bop-bop-bop.

When I come, orgasms
are multiple,

I mean five or six
of them, I go nuts.

(upbeat funky music)

- Wouldn't it be nice if it
were not such a huge deal?

If we saw more nudity, if
we saw each other's skin

more often, and in
absolutely innocuous,

nonthreatening situations,
then we wouldn't

be so scared of it.

- I don't have any
regrets about my life.

I think the way life unfolds
is the way life unfolds.

There's no point in like,
trying to, you know,

go back into it.

But it's always a good idea
to try to make sense of it.

- I think I've
been too repressed,

I don't think I've been somebody

whose life has been
led by his dick.

And at this point in my
life, I almost feel like,

oh, I get to be
more led by my dick.

- I really recognize
more completely

how sexual that we are,
and what a limited time

that we have on this earth.

And I get all the sex I
can, without any guilt.

None of that Christian
upbringing bullshit.

- And what is, where does
the whole thing about sin

come into having erotic
thoughts, for god's sake?

It's just part of being human,

part of belonging
to our species.

Is that we can see erotic
beauty in other people.

What the hell is
wrong with that?

- The fact that
someone may be longer,

or thicker, or
shorter than anybody?

That's just who you are,

that's part of your
individuality, so to speak.

- Um, I'm actually
quite content with it.

- It reminds me that it's
just fine. (chuckles)

Despite the fact that I may
not always be happy with it,

which is less and less now.

- I've discovered that
I, in the last few years,

that I can get turned on
by a man just as well.

And, one of the nice things
about having sex with a man

is that they, they don't
expect any commitment.

You know.

They don't say, you gonna
call me in the morning?

Or, and what are we
gonna do this weekend?

- Well I think mine is perfect.

I really, I'm very, I really
think it's just right.

- I am so proud of
its achievements.

I am so proud of the
pleasure it's given to

all the women that
I've slept with.

- [Interviewer] I think, um,

kinda going through the list.

And uh, we're good.

- Okay, cool.

- [Interviewer] Thank you, sir.