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1
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,617
Ladies and gentlemen!
2
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:42,121
When the Morning Star
summoned you to this banquet
3
00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:45,291
I realized that there were
only two people qualified
4
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,335
to introduce the great man
we are honoring tonight.
5
00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:52,923
Either my humble self or that
pearl among journalists,
6
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,803
Mr. Wallace Cook, my great
friend and star reporter.
7
00:02:58,012 --> 00:02:59,388
You said it.
8
00:02:59,597 --> 00:03:02,683
I want Mr. Cook himself to tell
you the great feat he performed
9
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:06,270
not only for the Morning Star,
but for mankind itself
10
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:10,608
in interesting our guest of
honor in this great project.
11
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:28,083
Twenty-seven halls of
learning and culture!
12
00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,044
Twenty-seven arenas of art!
13
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,505
To be known as the
Morning Star Temple.
14
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:39,136
And for every dollar we contribute, our
guest has pledged himself to give ten.
15
00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:44,850
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my
great honor to introduce to you
16
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,729
A prince with a heart as
big as his pocketbook
17
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:53,108
that fabulous and magnificent
potentate of the Orient
18
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,569
the Sultan of Marzipan.
19
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,957
Peace be unto you, my friends.
20
00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:12,127
Peace and the blessings of culture.
21
00:04:23,806 --> 00:04:25,891
That's him.
That's my husband.
22
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:51,000
Well, my fine
Oriental potentate
23
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,169
I'm not going to have you arrested.
24
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:57,798
I'm going to put you on the payroll
as a janitor!
25
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,050
Thank you, sir.
26
00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:03,721
And I always want you
present in the local room
27
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:10,102
where my reporters and Mr. Wallace
Cook can drink you in constantly
28
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,187
as a warning against fakes!
29
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:13,939
Yeah, sir.
30
00:05:14,023 --> 00:05:17,901
May I ask, ain't Mr.
Cook a reporter anymore?
31
00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:22,489
I wouldn't like for him to lose his job.
He was very nice to me.
32
00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:26,577
Mr. Cook is not going to be
discharged, Your Majesty.
33
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:31,290
For his own good and the
good of the Morning Star
34
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:35,377
I am going to remove him
from the land of the living!
35
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,942
Listen, Oliver, I tell
you I'm innocent.
36
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,653
I was just as fooled by old
black Joe as you were.
37
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,030
I believed everything he
said just as you did.
38
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,156
Now, Oliver.
39
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,328
Either you cut out these fat-headed
monkeyshines of yours
40
00:06:48,353 --> 00:06:50,184
and let bygones be bygones
41
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,413
or I'm walking out of this
fish trap right here and now.
42
00:06:52,663 --> 00:06:55,457
You're under contract with the
Star for five more years.
43
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:57,251
You're not in a position to resign
44
00:06:57,334 --> 00:07:00,754
unless you wish to retire from
journalistic efforts over that period.
45
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:05,259
Oliver, you're not gonna keep me
pounding out obituaries for five years?
46
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,469
Those are my plans, Mr. Cook.
47
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,848
That's gratitude.
48
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:14,435
I'm the best reporter you ever had.
49
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,645
I've handed you a hundred scoops.
50
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,815
It isn't fair, Oliver.
It isn't human.
51
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,024
Shut up!
52
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:26,196
Oliver, I... I don't like
to say this, but...
53
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:30,075
The paper is going to rack and ruin with
me hidden away in that water cooler.
54
00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:31,535
- Look at this.
- What's that?
55
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:34,496
Poor little working girl doomed
to death from radium poisoning.
56
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,415
- We've covered it.
- Covered it?
57
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:38,876
You're getting old, Oliver.
58
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:42,212
Look, there's 1, 2, 3, 4,
5, 6 lines on Hazel Flagg.
59
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,840
A poor little kid with a few
months to live at the outside.
60
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:47,009
Doomed. Death staring
her in the face.
61
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,927
What does she feel?
What does she think?
62
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,513
- Radium eating away her bones!
- Don't shout at me!
63
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,558
Listen, Oliver, there's a story in this
kid that ought to tear your heart out.
64
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,810
Where is it? Why hasn't the Star got it?
I'll tell you.
65
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,897
Because I'm stuck away in the water cooler
on account of some whim of yours.
66
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:01,732
Listen, Oliver, give
me a chance, will you?
67
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,817
So help me may I drop
dead or redeem myself.
68
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:06,487
- I oughta be shot for what I'm thinking.
- What are you thinking?
69
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:10,407
I'm thinking that maybe you ain't the
most tittering imbecile on Earth.
70
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,743
I'm thinking that maybe
you've learned your lesson.
71
00:08:12,910 --> 00:08:15,204
Oliver, so help me. I'll
be in Vermont by morning.
72
00:08:15,204 --> 00:08:18,874
I'll dig you up a story that'll make
this town swoon. Here's my hand on it.
73
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,547
I've been through an inferno.
74
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:28,592
I haven't been able to enter a
café for the past three weeks
75
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:30,594
without the band playing "Dixie".
76
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,181
- Oh well, that was a coincidence.
- I've given you my hand, go on...
77
00:08:34,473 --> 00:08:37,100
- Redeem yourself.
- Thanks. You won't regret it.
78
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,688
If I don't come back with the
biggest story you ever handled
79
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,566
you can put me back in short
pants and make me marble editor.
80
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,850
- You through?
- Yep.
81
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,521
- You know this girl, Hazel Flagg?
- Yep.
82
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,440
- Pretty girl, eh?
- Yep.
83
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:29,611
- Where is she now? In the hospital?
- Nope.
84
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:33,282
Just walking around, eh? Laughing
and carrying on, I suppose.
85
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:34,700
Yep.
86
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:38,370
- What's your name, Coolidge?
- Nope.
87
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,082
Well, if you aren't worn
out talking, what is it?
88
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:43,709
Bull.
89
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:47,337
Mr. Bull, my name's Cook.
I'm from the New York Star.
90
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:52,342
I'm, uh, going to be filing a lot of
stuff with your telegraph office here.
91
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:55,637
- I don't think you are.
- Well, who says?
92
00:09:55,721 --> 00:10:00,183
The Paragon Watch Factory owns this town.
They don't care to have any scandal printed.
93
00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,812
What they say goes.
Better take the next train back.
94
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:07,441
- What kind of a fellow is this Dr. Downer?
- He won't talk to you.
95
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:11,737
Nobody talkin' in this town.
Except me. Better go home.
96
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,992
Well, if you don't mind I'll take a little
stroll and have a look at the sights first.
97
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,203
Well, I wouldn't have talked at all if
I knew I was gonna do it for nothin'.
98
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:21,288
Oh, pardon me.
99
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,791
I forgot I was in Vermont.
100
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,508
All right.
101
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:39,848
Morning, sister.
102
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,894
- You in charge here?
- Yep.
103
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,566
I've been wandering through your
fascinating metropolis for an hour.
104
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,235
- Mind if I sit down here?
- Yep.
105
00:10:53,904 --> 00:10:56,573
- I guess you misunderstood me.
- Nope.
106
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,456
- You know Hazel Flagg?
- Yep.
107
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,376
Any idea where I could
find her this morning?
108
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,879
You're a newspaperman from New York.
109
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,674
- How did you guess that, sister?
- You was described to me.
110
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,343
Will Bull can shoot his mouth
off to all he wants, but not me
111
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,636
nor anybody else in this town.
112
00:11:17,678 --> 00:11:19,846
This drugstore's run by the
Paragon Watch Company
113
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,599
and they don't want any scandalmonger
New Yorkers snoopin' around.
114
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:31,149
- OK, sister. And how much do I owe you?
- Well, you've tooken up my time...
115
00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:36,780
Thank you very much. I'm sorry that
I've tooken up so much of your time.
116
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:38,657
Sorry.
117
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:28,081
Oh. Good morning.
Is Dr. Downer in?
118
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,249
- Yep-
119
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,502
- Is that his office?
- Yep.
120
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,547
Would you tell him Mr. Cook
would like to see him?
121
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:36,923
Tell him yourself.
122
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,064
- Dr. Downer?
- Yep!
123
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,652
My name's Cook. I'm up
here from New York.
124
00:12:57,736 --> 00:12:59,362
Sit down. I'll be
with you in a minute.
125
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,913
- Nice clay... Yep.
- Yep.
126
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,207
What have you got, young man?
Hives?
127
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:11,833
No. No hives.
128
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:16,338
Lotta hives goin' around. Mrs. George
Nasher was took yesterday. Do you know her?
129
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,422
Nope.
130
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:21,927
- Where did you say you were from?
- New York.
131
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:26,097
I was wondering if you could tell
me where I could find Hazel Flagg.
132
00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,308
- From New York, eh?
- Yep.
133
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:29,851
You know what I
think, young fella?
134
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,437
I think you're a newspaperman.
I can smell 'em.
135
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:36,733
I've always been able to smell 'em.
Excuse me while I open the windows.
136
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,156
I'll tell you briefly what
I think of newspapermen.
137
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:47,035
The hand of God reaching
down into the mire
138
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,997
couldn't elevate one of them
to the depths of degradation.
139
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,707
Not by a million miles.
140
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,627
I think you're being a little
severe toward my profession.
141
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,629
- Not much, but just a little.
- Nothing of the sort.
142
00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:01,967
I'm a fair-minded man, young fella, but
when you've been robbed, swindled, cheated
143
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:06,513
for 22 years out of a fortune, it's
pardonable to formulate an opinion!
144
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:08,223
- From New York, eh?
- Yep.
145
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,560
You don't happen to know of a
newspaper called the Morning Star?
146
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,187
You have the honor, Dr. Downer
147
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:17,065
of addressing that newspaper's
most gifted representative.
148
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:21,027
Moses in the mountains!
You're from the Morning Star?
149
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,821
Stay right where you are.
Don't move!
150
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:25,490
I'll show you something
that'll freeze ya!
151
00:14:25,574 --> 00:14:28,910
Listen, doctor. I'm getting
sick of this taffy pull.
152
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,162
Where can I get hold
of Hazel Flagg?
153
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,249
Don't talk to me about Hazel Flagg!
No, siree!
154
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:35,792
Here's the evidence.
155
00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:41,923
I appeal to you as a man of learning, Dr.
Downer. What is Miss Flagg's address?
156
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,843
Don't waste my time, young fella.
Here, read that.
157
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:48,054
That's a copy of an essay I wrote.
Read it. Go on.
158
00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:49,097
Tit for tat.
159
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:52,851
Give me her address, and I'll pore over
these interesting documents all night.
160
00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:56,354
I entered this contest with
a clean pair of hands.
161
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,565
Who are the six greatest Americans?
162
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:02,694
I named them and proved why,
writing on one side of the paper.
163
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,447
And what happened? Did I
win the $10,000? No, siree.
164
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,742
Did I win the 5,000? Did they
even try to save their face
165
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:11,661
by giving me one of the
smaller $1,000 prizes?
166
00:15:11,703 --> 00:15:13,872
Not that gang of chicken thieves!
167
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:16,625
Here's what they gave me, read it.
A check for $1.
168
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:19,878
- Young fella, for 22 years...
- I must ask you to be reasonable.
169
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:24,174
- You can't harbor a grudge for 22 years.
- I'll harbor it till I die! Wait and see!
170
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:28,345
The Morning Star had a chance
to win my respect 22 years ago.
171
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,389
They saw fit to swindle and belittle me.
Very well.
172
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,893
I'll prove to them before I die
who the six great Americans are
173
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:37,479
and who was entitled
to the first prize!
174
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,610
I could do better in darkest Africa.
175
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:46,571
You know who got that $10,000?
The editor's wife, that's who!
176
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:58,708
Morning.
177
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:11,596
You don't have to sit there
looking so dramatic, Hazel.
178
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,348
Like Eliza crossing the ice.
179
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,558
Well, I can't help feeling a little bad.
180
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,769
You couldn't either if you
were gonna die any minute.
181
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:21,523
Well, you can stop giving yourself
the airs of a dying swan.
182
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:25,110
According to this last analysis
I made, you ain't going to die.
183
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,570
Unless you get run over or something.
184
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:28,780
What?
185
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:32,492
You heard me. I don't like
to chew my cabbage twice.
186
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:36,204
Enoch... Enoch, I-I-I'm
not gonna die?
187
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:40,166
You're fitter than a fiddle! And stop
gawking at me or I'll cut myself!
188
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:44,546
Oh, I gotta cry, Enoch.
I can't help it.
189
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:48,174
Come, come, come, this is no way
to behave in a doctor's office.
190
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:52,220
Besides, that soap will give you the
darndest bellyache you ever had.
191
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,847
Oh, Enoch, you saved my life.
192
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:58,852
Oh, it was nothing. That first
diagnosis I made was a mistake.
193
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,813
I got so that I was seeing
radium poisoning everywhere.
194
00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:05,233
I've been awfully brave, haven't I, not
to cry before? Please say I have...
195
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,807
Well, now that it's over,
I don't mind telling you, Hazel,
196
00:17:08,832 --> 00:17:11,489
I felt kinda sorry for you.
197
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,532
Sorry.
198
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:22,000
I've been under a great strain.
199
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,966
You know, I don't know why
I'm so happy about it, Enoch.
200
00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:31,843
You sort of spoiled my trip.
201
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,138
What trip's that, Hazel?
202
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:38,141
You know, I was gonna take that
$200 you get for dying in Warsaw
203
00:17:38,183 --> 00:17:40,810
and go to New York and blow
it all in and die happy.
204
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,854
And now I've got to stay in Warsaw.
205
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,316
So that's your gratitude to me?
206
00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:49,402
For snatching you from
the jaws of death?
207
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:55,784
You know, I don't know which I am,
happy or miserable, I'm all mixed up.
208
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:59,204
Enoch, listen. Do you have to hand
in that report to the factory?
209
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,748
I know it sounds a little dishonest.
210
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,708
I'd do it like a shot, Hazel.
211
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:07,962
Only I'd lose my job the minute they
found out you weren't going to die.
212
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,715
And besides, there's the ethics.
213
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:15,345
Well. Oh, thanks for all your trouble.
I'm terribly grateful, Enoch.
214
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:23,019
Only it's kind of startling to
be brought to life twice...
215
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:24,979
And each time in Warsaw!
216
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,154
Miss Flagg?
217
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:36,157
Pardon me, I'm Wallace Cook
from the New York Star.
218
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,826
I came up to see you.
219
00:18:38,201 --> 00:18:41,454
I know it's hard for you to talk, but if
you'd just listen to me for a while...
220
00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:44,165
I have nothing to say now.
It's sort of too late.
221
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,835
I know how you feel, Miss Flagg.
222
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,045
But I won't ask you any
questions about your ailment.
223
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,965
I was just in to see Dr.
Downer, and he told me...
224
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,300
Now, please don't cry. I was thinking
while I was waiting for you to come out
225
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:57,470
and I got an idea. I want you
to come to New York with me.
226
00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:58,638
- What?
- As my guest.
227
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,099
As the guest of the Morning Star. Now,
don't say anything till I tell you.
228
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,976
- Oh, I'm not saying anything.
- If you were my sister...
229
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:07,647
or somebody close to me, I'd take you
outta Warsaw dead or alive, Miss Flagg.
230
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:11,067
Oh, I've always wanted to see
the world outside before I...
231
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,278
- You've lived here all your life, huh?
- Twice as long.
232
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,988
You poor kid. You've
never been to New York?
233
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:17,866
No, my grandmother took me there when I
was three, but I didn't appreciate it.
234
00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:20,160
Listen, we'll show you the town.
We'll take you everywhere.
235
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,537
You'll have more fun than if
you lived a hundred years
236
00:19:22,537 --> 00:19:24,122
in this moth-eaten
yep-and-nope village.
237
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,624
- That's so very true...
- Is it a bargain?
238
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,877
I don't know. It would be
imposing on everybody because...
239
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:30,420
Imposing? In what way?
240
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:33,339
Oh, I just thought it'd be
wrong to make people sad.
241
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,800
- I'd be kind of a killjoy, wouldn't I?
- Listen, I'll be frank with you.
242
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:38,136
Even if I sound like a ghoul.
You'll be a sensation.
243
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:39,888
The whole town will
take you to its heart.
244
00:19:39,888 --> 00:19:42,348
You'll have everything you've ever dreamed
of. You'll have it on a silver platter.
245
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,976
You'll be like Aladdin with
the magic lamp to rub.
246
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,521
You mean they'll like me
just because I'm dying?
247
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,190
Oh, that's a cruel way to put it.
248
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:53,943
No, they'll like you because you'll
be a symbol of courage and heroism.
249
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:57,447
- We'll talk about it on the plane.
- An aeroplane? You mean we'll fly there?
250
00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,574
Sure. Sure, we haven't much time.
251
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,451
Oh, I'm sorry. I mean...
252
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,620
The sooner you get there, the more
time you'll have to enjoy yourself.
253
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:05,747
You know, I was gonna go there before.
I saved up a hundred dollars.
254
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,416
Now, a hundred million dollars couldn't buy
you the fun the Morning Star can give you.
255
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,668
- Come on.
- Oh no, wait. I gotta take him with me.
256
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,171
- Who? The kid on the bicycle?
- Oh no, no. Enoch. Dr. Downer.
257
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:15,131
You wait here. Oh, you
won't go away, will you?
258
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,467
- Nope.
- Oh, I'll go ask him. Will you wait here?
259
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,719
- Yep.
- Oh, good. Enoch! Enoch!
260
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,037
Oh, Enoch, look!
261
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,665
I don't care for scenery
from this point of view.
262
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,124
But that's the Statue of Liberty!
263
00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:52,210
I've seen it.
264
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,351
I got in touch with Oliver.
Oliver Stone, my editor.
265
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,645
He's toe dancing in the
street waiting for us.
266
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,146
Oh, I hope he's nice like you.
267
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:14,482
Well, he's got a different
quality of charm.
268
00:21:14,649 --> 00:21:17,527
He's sort of a cross between a
Ferris wheel and a werewolf.
269
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,571
But with a lovable streak -
if you care to blast for it.
270
00:21:21,072 --> 00:21:22,532
- You're getting nervous?
- Oh no, no.
271
00:21:22,657 --> 00:21:26,619
I just hope he won't have a lot of long-
whiskered doctors lined up to harass me.
272
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,497
You know, I'm not coming to New York to
play guinea pig for a lot of scientists.
273
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:31,916
Everybody knows that radium
poisoning is incurable
274
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,669
so... so why waste any
time in that direction?
275
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:38,840
Don't you worry about that.
You won't be bothered at all.
276
00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:42,427
I'm not going to go to bed until I have
convulsions and my teeth start falling out.
277
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:44,470
That's when I begin
worrying, isn't it, Enoch?
278
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:47,015
It's as good a time as any.
279
00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:50,893
- How're you feeling now, sailor?
- Hunky dory, Skipper.
280
00:21:52,353 --> 00:21:55,440
Well, there she is, in all
her beads and ribbons.
281
00:22:03,031 --> 00:22:05,366
- Mr. Cook?
- Yeah. Oh, thank you.
282
00:22:07,076 --> 00:22:09,912
Oh, it's from Oliver. He's almost
tongue-tied with excitement.
283
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,914
He's... he's worked up
a nutty demonstration.
284
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,167
New York is going to lay
its heart at your feet
285
00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:18,546
while the whistles blow and the
bands play and the cameras grind.
286
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:21,841
How about you, sailor? Anything you
care to say as we go into action?
287
00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:24,969
Oh, I'm going to have a marvelous
time. Whatever happens afterwards -
288
00:22:24,969 --> 00:22:27,042
I mean about the
convulsions and all that.
289
00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:29,331
I'm going to have fun first...
I am... I am...
290
00:22:29,515 --> 00:22:31,476
Well, if that doesn't make
them cry, nothing will.
291
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,269
Cry? Why should they cry?
292
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:38,566
Because you're the bravest kid that ever
lived. There's no fake about it this time.
293
00:22:40,151 --> 00:22:41,152
Oh, look!
294
00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:25,715
Don't excite yourself too much.
It's just a fake.
295
00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:26,632
What did you say?
296
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:29,051
I said, don't excite yourself too much.
It's just a fake.
297
00:24:29,218 --> 00:24:31,554
- Who? Who is a fake?
- Those grapplers.
298
00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:33,713
The only square thing
about them is the ring.
299
00:24:33,738 --> 00:24:34,331
Oh, them!
300
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,766
They're a symbol to the whole town
301
00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:38,603
pretending to fight, love,
weep and laugh all the time...
302
00:24:38,644 --> 00:24:40,146
and they're phonies, all of 'em.
303
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,316
- And I head the list.
- Oh no, you don't. Don't say that.
304
00:24:43,441 --> 00:24:45,860
Using you to get a bonus and
a byline on the front page.
305
00:24:47,111 --> 00:24:49,989
Making good over your poor,
little pain-racked body and all.
306
00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:51,866
I'm worse than those fake wrestlers.
307
00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:55,453
I feel fine tonight, Wally. You and the
Morning Star have been so wonderful to me.
308
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,456
You know, these wonderful gowns and the
banquets and the theater tickets and...
309
00:24:58,539 --> 00:24:59,540
the poetry.
310
00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:02,460
Stop looking so happy
and gallant, will you?
311
00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:04,545
Breaks my heart.
312
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:37,787
- You all right?
- Oh, yes. I-I feel fine.
313
00:25:44,544 --> 00:25:52,385
Ladies and gentlemen! I have just learned
that Miss Hazel Flagg is in the audience!
314
00:25:59,892 --> 00:26:07,400
I would like to ask this distinguished
audience to observe ten seconds of silence
315
00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:10,194
in respect for Miss Flagg.
316
00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:39,223
Okay, boys.
317
00:27:09,503 --> 00:27:12,673
Would it interfere with your running the
fleet if I ask you something personal?
318
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:15,593
That's what we're here for,
to get personal. Proceed.
319
00:27:15,843 --> 00:27:17,470
There's a loose halyard fore.
Go and make it fast, will you?
320
00:27:17,553 --> 00:27:20,056
- That thing on the top there?
- Yes, my little mariner, yes.
321
00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:21,390
Try not to go overboard.
322
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:24,602
I asked several people,
but they didn't know.
323
00:27:24,852 --> 00:27:27,355
- They didn't know what?
- If you were married.
324
00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:32,151
The answer, in capital
letters, is no. N-O.
325
00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:33,694
- N-O?
- Yeah. N-O.
326
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:37,239
Oh, I see. I don't suppose
newspapermen marry, as a rule.
327
00:27:37,281 --> 00:27:41,285
Not after they're 14 or 15. That's the
dangerous age for the journalist.
328
00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:46,165
His ideals are not yet formed and he
falls easy prey to elderly waitresses.
329
00:27:46,374 --> 00:27:49,960
- Once his finer side is born, he waits.
- For what?
330
00:27:50,044 --> 00:27:53,923
For the sound of the fire alarm, Miss Flagg.
Waits to go rushing off for the fire.
331
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:56,634
- What fire is that, Mr. Cook?
- Love.
332
00:27:57,218 --> 00:28:00,888
- I used to hear about that in Warsaw.
- Yeah. It's gotten around.
333
00:28:28,374 --> 00:28:32,795
- You're having fun?
- Yes. But you know, I get kinda depressed.
334
00:28:32,837 --> 00:28:35,965
You know, last night when I entered
the theater, everybody moaned. Oh.
335
00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:39,051
You know, I might as well be
a case of walking cholera.
336
00:28:41,053 --> 00:28:42,054
Don't do that!
337
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:50,479
Now, I used to love New York when
they went gaga over some celebrity.
338
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:54,066
Danced in the streets with a
neon light around its heart.
339
00:28:55,401 --> 00:28:59,697
I'm getting fed up with its trick tears
and phony lamentations over you.
340
00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:02,992
I'm glad they're phony. It makes
everything all right, in a way.
341
00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:06,912
I mean I wouldn't wanna feel I was
really making all those people suffer.
342
00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:21,510
Wally! Wally, look at
that man with the toupee!
343
00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:48,662
Greetings, greetings, my little folks!
Heh-heh.
344
00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,957
Tonight, there is one among us
345
00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:55,795
who adds a bit of unaccustomed
drama to our little rally.
346
00:29:56,045 --> 00:30:01,759
She sits here, eyes sparkling, her
face wreathed in a lovely smile.
347
00:30:02,009 --> 00:30:08,390
Drinking in the charm, the
glitter, the gay sounds of life.
348
00:30:08,724 --> 00:30:11,769
So drink your wine,
laugh and applaud
349
00:30:12,102 --> 00:30:16,732
while this little doomed child
sits saying goodbye to you.
350
00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:20,945
Her last goodbye, with a
grateful smile on her lips.
351
00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,783
So on with the show,
my little actors all.
352
00:30:27,576 --> 00:30:32,331
On with the show, for tonight you're
not the famous folk of Broadway.
353
00:30:32,790 --> 00:30:37,336
Tonight you're just a little chorus
laughing and dancing and pirouetting
354
00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:41,507
to afford a last brief
hour of mirth and jollity
355
00:30:41,757 --> 00:30:46,053
to America's simplest and sweetest
of heroines:
356
00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:48,556
Miss Hazel Flagg.
357
00:30:59,567 --> 00:31:02,152
For good, clean fun, there's
nothing like a wake.
358
00:31:02,278 --> 00:31:05,406
Oh please, please,
let's not talk shop.
359
00:31:06,532 --> 00:31:09,656
Our next number tonight,
ladies and gentlemen,
360
00:31:09,681 --> 00:31:12,604
is entitled "The Heroines of History".
361
00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:25,426
Catherine the Great who saved Russia.
She could do it, too.
362
00:31:37,146 --> 00:31:40,316
Lady Godiva who saved her virtue.
363
00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:42,985
That's the way those
things go, folks.
364
00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:06,800
Katinka who saved Holland by
putting her finger in the dyke.
365
00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:10,304
Show them the finger, babe.
366
00:32:23,776 --> 00:32:26,654
Pocahontas who saved
Captain John Smith
367
00:32:27,321 --> 00:32:30,199
and later on set him up in
the cough drop business.
368
00:32:44,171 --> 00:32:48,842
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I want you to
meet that little girl from Warsaw, Vermont.
369
00:32:48,884 --> 00:32:53,097
That little soldier whose heroic
smile in the face of death
370
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:58,811
has wrung tears and cheers from
the great stone heart of the city.
371
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:05,818
I humbly invite her now to take her place
beside all the great Heroines of History.
372
00:33:06,193 --> 00:33:10,447
Our own Miss Hazel Flagg!
373
00:34:24,521 --> 00:34:26,565
Look! Something has
happened to Hazel!
374
00:34:31,862 --> 00:34:33,739
Look out, young fella.
Let me at her.
375
00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:37,576
- Has it... has it come?
- Doctor, I wanna know the worst.
376
00:34:37,701 --> 00:34:41,121
I don't want you to spare our feelings.
We're going to press in 15 minutes.
377
00:34:47,711 --> 00:34:51,048
- Is there a chance, doctor?
- I've been expecting something like this.
378
00:34:51,131 --> 00:34:53,133
Let's get her out of here.
Quick.
379
00:34:56,512 --> 00:35:01,225
Please, everybody. Take your seats.
Quiet, please. Take your seats.
380
00:35:01,391 --> 00:35:03,143
There must be no commotion.
381
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,272
The show must go on. Hazel
would want it that way.
382
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:15,906
I'm disgusted with you, Hazel. Getting
drunk in the middle of a memorial.
383
00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:18,867
- Now lie down like I tell you.
- I'm not drunk.
384
00:35:18,951 --> 00:35:21,536
I just had a little sip,
thassall, and then...
385
00:35:21,561 --> 00:35:23,980
then all of those buffaloes
ran over me.
386
00:35:24,039 --> 00:35:25,874
They weren't buffaloes,
they were horses.
387
00:35:26,083 --> 00:35:30,963
- I might've been trampled to death!
- Don't yell, I tell you!
388
00:35:31,088 --> 00:35:34,800
If somebody respectable could see you
now, that would be pretty, wouldn't it?
389
00:35:35,008 --> 00:35:36,009
Shame on you!
390
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:38,011
Take your stockings off!
391
00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:41,723
You're the doctor,
take 'em off yourself.
392
00:35:50,023 --> 00:35:52,609
Say! What are you doing?
393
00:36:02,536 --> 00:36:05,205
If anything happens,
we have to replate.
394
00:36:05,414 --> 00:36:08,167
That's all that counts to
you, isn't it, you birdbrain
395
00:36:08,333 --> 00:36:10,210
with a headline for a heart?
396
00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:13,630
That poor, gallant little kid standing in
front of that goofy bunch of horses.
397
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:15,382
And smiling, just smiling.
398
00:36:15,424 --> 00:36:17,551
Don't waste copy on me, Wallace.
399
00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:21,805
Oliver, that's the sweetest, loveliest
kid in there that ever lived.
400
00:36:21,930 --> 00:36:24,224
Yes, you said that
before, Wally.
401
00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:28,854
I'm through. I can't play
pallbearer any longer. I'm resigning.
402
00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:32,107
She's all right, gentlemen.
Sleeping like a little baby.
403
00:36:32,482 --> 00:36:35,903
- No! Are you sure?
- Just as if nothing had happened.
404
00:36:36,236 --> 00:36:38,405
She'll be fitter than a
fiddle in the morning.
405
00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:43,619
In the morning,
ya-da-de-Dee, da-daa...
406
00:36:47,664 --> 00:36:48,665
Oh.
407
00:36:50,417 --> 00:36:51,418
Oh.
408
00:36:53,003 --> 00:36:56,423
- Oh my Gosh! Miss Rafferty, Miss Rafferty!
- Yes?
409
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,635
Oh, make them stop ringing that phone.
It'll break my head open.
410
00:37:01,970 --> 00:37:04,556
- Hello?
- I don't wanna talk to anybody.
411
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:09,645
Just a minute. There are twenty little
schoolchildren downstairs to sing for you.
412
00:37:10,062 --> 00:37:11,980
Mr. Stone arranged for it yesterday.
413
00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:14,191
Oh, it's horrible. I'll go mad!
414
00:37:16,944 --> 00:37:19,947
- Send them up.
- You may bring them up, sir.
415
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:23,784
Oh my Gosh, there's a
sawmill inside my head.
416
00:37:24,117 --> 00:37:26,662
You may leave the
room, Miss Rafferty.
417
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:32,876
I brought you something.
418
00:37:35,462 --> 00:37:36,421
Raw eggs.
419
00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:39,967
Just what you need.
420
00:37:41,510 --> 00:37:44,054
Their albumen counteracts
the alcohol.
421
00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:52,229
Suck 'em right down.
Settle your stomach.
422
00:37:52,562 --> 00:37:54,231
Go on. I got a whole dozen.
423
00:37:55,107 --> 00:37:56,984
Is this the way drunks feel?
424
00:37:57,442 --> 00:38:00,696
Hazel, you got what is known
in medicine as a hangover.
425
00:38:02,406 --> 00:38:06,076
I've got something worse than that.
I've got a conscience.
426
00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:09,413
Keep on sucking that egg, and
your conscience will go away.
427
00:38:10,664 --> 00:38:11,748
I'm ruining him.
428
00:38:13,292 --> 00:38:15,085
Let me have your pulse, Hazel.
429
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,883
Don't jiggle me. My pulse is all right.
I'm as healthy as an ox. Oh!
430
00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:23,051
Well, stop groaning then!
431
00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:25,637
You old fraud, you know
what I'm groaning about!
432
00:38:25,762 --> 00:38:29,141
Oh, I wish, I wish I had radium
poisoning or something awful.
433
00:38:29,266 --> 00:38:30,851
Then... then I wouldn't ruin him.
434
00:38:30,976 --> 00:38:32,352
Who is this you're ruining, Hazel?
435
00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:36,398
- Wallace. Mr. Cook.
- Oh, him. Have another egg.
436
00:38:37,107 --> 00:38:40,193
Enoch, listen. He thinks I've helped
him become a great journalist
437
00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:43,530
and they're gonna give him a bonus.
Mr. Stone is. A bonus.
438
00:38:43,530 --> 00:38:45,699
It's coming out of the
$10,000 they owe me.
439
00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:47,743
If I'm not complaining,
why should he worry?
440
00:38:47,909 --> 00:38:51,246
He thinks I've helped him. Helped him.
And it makes him feel bad.
441
00:38:51,496 --> 00:38:52,998
Oh, I can't stand it.
442
00:38:53,123 --> 00:38:56,335
You know what'll happen when they find out
I'm a horrible, good-for-nothing fake?
443
00:38:56,418 --> 00:38:59,921
They'll blame him. Everybody! They'll
just burn down the newspaper.
444
00:39:00,130 --> 00:39:02,841
And the Mayor, he'll have Wally lynched.
You just wait and see.
445
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,261
Oh, Enoch. Why did you
let me come to New York?
446
00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,097
If you were only as
honest as you look.
447
00:39:12,309 --> 00:39:15,479
Mr. Cook is here to see Miss Flagg.
Do you feel able to speak to him?
448
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,606
All right, tell him to wait.
449
00:39:25,322 --> 00:39:27,574
- Tell him to come in!
- Come in!
450
00:39:34,456 --> 00:39:36,792
- Hello. Hello, Hazel.
- Hello.
451
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,001
Hello, doctor.
452
00:39:40,295 --> 00:39:43,173
It, uh, it won't hurt
her if I visit a while?
453
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:45,926
She's doing very well
for her last few weeks.
454
00:39:51,264 --> 00:39:54,851
Gee, I'm glad to hear that, Hazel.
I was, uh... we were worried.
455
00:39:55,727 --> 00:39:56,728
Excuse me.
456
00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:01,983
I wouldn't have disturbed you, but,
uh, I'm going away and I thought...
457
00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:04,820
- I might not see you again until...
- You're going away where?
458
00:40:06,238 --> 00:40:08,156
Oh, just to Albany.
459
00:40:08,490 --> 00:40:10,867
- What for?
- Just to see the governor.
460
00:40:10,951 --> 00:40:13,036
Wallace, what are you doing
in Albany with the governor?
461
00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:14,746
Now, Hazel, you mustn't
get overwrought.
462
00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:16,373
Well, if it's about me,
I must know about it.
463
00:40:17,499 --> 00:40:20,252
It's, uh, about the
arrangements, Hazel.
464
00:40:21,211 --> 00:40:22,379
What arrangements?
465
00:40:23,088 --> 00:40:24,172
For the funeral.
466
00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:25,465
What funeral?
467
00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:27,634
Yours.
468
00:40:27,843 --> 00:40:28,844
Oh.
469
00:40:30,804 --> 00:40:32,722
Have I... Have I shocked you?
470
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:35,976
Oh no, oh no. Everybody has
to have a funeral sometime.
471
00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:37,936
Well, but not like
yours, darling.
472
00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:41,565
Gee, I meant to keep
it as a surprise.
473
00:40:42,441 --> 00:40:46,528
Oh, it's better this way, your telling
me in advance so I can get used to it.
474
00:40:47,112 --> 00:40:48,780
Oh, I hope it's gonna be a little funeral.
475
00:40:49,156 --> 00:40:51,825
Oh, I'm afraid that's way
way impossible, Hazel.
476
00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:55,996
According to the present registration,
there'll be about 30,000 automobiles
477
00:40:56,079 --> 00:40:59,833
and a considerable group on foot.
About half a million, I think.
478
00:41:00,584 --> 00:41:03,587
- Oh, my.
- That's not half enough to mourn for you.
479
00:41:06,548 --> 00:41:10,135
Oliver thought we could get the
President, but, uh, he's still fishing.
480
00:41:11,052 --> 00:41:13,388
I arranged to have the Symphony
orchestra there instead.
481
00:41:13,638 --> 00:41:15,640
Well, if it's all arranged,
why are you going to Albany?
482
00:41:16,141 --> 00:41:18,351
Well, uh, I had an idea this morning.
483
00:41:19,394 --> 00:41:23,273
I'm getting the governor to declare a
public holiday for the, uh, occasion.
484
00:41:23,398 --> 00:41:25,233
Oh, like St. Valentine's Day?
485
00:41:25,317 --> 00:41:26,651
I'm glad I told you.
486
00:41:27,444 --> 00:41:32,032
Hazel, I want you to know now and
always. I think you're magnificent.
487
00:41:32,282 --> 00:41:36,036
Oh please, please, don't say that.
Do you have to go away?
488
00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:37,704
Oh, I'll be back by night.
489
00:41:38,246 --> 00:41:41,082
And I've got another surprise for
you, but I-I'll not tell you now.
490
00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:42,751
But I've got to hear it.
491
00:41:45,086 --> 00:41:48,423
- Well, I promised you I wouldn't do this.
- You wouldn't do what?
492
00:41:48,465 --> 00:41:49,674
Call in any other doctor.
493
00:41:51,176 --> 00:41:55,722
Hazel, I know you have great faith in
Enoch. But I've broken my promise.
494
00:41:56,473 --> 00:42:01,061
Dr. Emil Egelhofer is arriving on the
Rex this afternoon. He's from Vienna.
495
00:42:01,228 --> 00:42:04,064
- And I'm bringing him to see you.
- What for?
496
00:42:04,189 --> 00:42:07,817
Hazel, he is the greatest expert
on radium poisoning in the world.
497
00:42:07,943 --> 00:42:11,655
I know it's incurable, but when I heard
he was on the Rex; I radioed him.
498
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,492
There's... there's always an outside
chance. You know, just one in a million.
499
00:42:17,244 --> 00:42:20,914
I'm sorry, I... I've got to run
to get the 10 o'clock plane.
500
00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:26,336
Hazel, I-I know it's a long shot, but...
we can hope, hm?
501
00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:28,755
Good bye.
502
00:42:30,257 --> 00:42:31,258
Good bye.
503
00:42:33,843 --> 00:42:34,844
Pardon me.
504
00:42:41,518 --> 00:42:44,145
- The little children are here, Hazel.
- What little children?
505
00:42:44,229 --> 00:42:46,439
- They've come to sing for you.
- Enoch, this is the end.
506
00:42:46,773 --> 00:42:48,942
Don't ask any questions,
just listen to me. We're caught.
507
00:42:49,025 --> 00:42:51,611
Dr. Egelhofer's coming here
tonight to expose me and Wally.
508
00:42:51,820 --> 00:42:55,949
You've got nothing to fear from any
doctor who comes snoopin' around here.
509
00:42:56,950 --> 00:42:57,951
Better have another egg.
510
00:42:58,034 --> 00:43:00,996
There's only one way out. There's only
one way to save you and me and Wally.
511
00:43:01,037 --> 00:43:03,748
I've got to commit suicide in advance
before that scientist gets to me.
512
00:43:03,832 --> 00:43:05,250
- I... I've got to be drowned.
513
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,002
- Awww, suck this egg, I tell you.
- Oh, shut up!
514
00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:10,005
I'll leave a note to the
city thanking everybody.
515
00:43:10,088 --> 00:43:12,757
You get rid of the news for the evening,
and then I'll jump into the river.
516
00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:14,589
Somebody's bound to see
me jump in,
517
00:43:14,614 --> 00:43:16,303
and you'll be waiting
in a rowboat to fish me out.
518
00:43:16,344 --> 00:43:18,805
And I'll swim underwater,
and I'll change my name
519
00:43:18,847 --> 00:43:23,268
and hide away for the rest of my
life and never, never see him again.
520
00:43:24,311 --> 00:43:26,980
And they'll hold the
funeral without me.
521
00:45:00,031 --> 00:45:03,326
Hello, honey. This is Ernest.
522
00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:06,454
Honey, what kinda
flowers do you like?
523
00:45:06,663 --> 00:45:07,664
Huh?
524
00:45:08,373 --> 00:45:10,625
Don't worry, honey, they
all the same price.
525
00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:13,128
I'm gettin' them wholesale.
526
00:45:13,837 --> 00:45:15,088
Be right up, honey.
527
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:49,456
Hello. Get me the Morning Star. Quick.
528
00:45:50,290 --> 00:45:51,791
Who committed suicide?
529
00:45:53,334 --> 00:45:54,335
Read it to me.
530
00:45:54,544 --> 00:45:56,504
Dear New York City, Goodbye.
531
00:45:57,422 --> 00:46:00,300
Remember me as someone
you made very happy.
532
00:46:01,050 --> 00:46:06,806
I have enjoyed everything.
There's only one thing left to enjoy.
533
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:10,477
Your river - that smiled
outside of my window.
534
00:46:11,561 --> 00:46:16,357
It is easy to die when the
heart is full of gratitude.
535
00:46:16,649 --> 00:46:18,026
Hazel Flagg.
536
00:46:21,154 --> 00:46:24,157
Hello, Oliver. Well, we get our holiday.
The governor has agreed to...
537
00:46:24,157 --> 00:46:25,158
Shut up.
538
00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:30,079
Jumpin' H. Sebastian.
She's double-crossed us.
539
00:46:30,163 --> 00:46:31,831
- Who has?
- Miss Flagg.
540
00:46:32,540 --> 00:46:35,210
- She's gone over to some other paper?
- She's gone into the river.
541
00:46:35,877 --> 00:46:38,213
Listen, you weasel-brain. What
are you trying to tell me?
542
00:46:38,254 --> 00:46:40,548
Hazel Flagg has committed suicide.
543
00:46:41,341 --> 00:46:42,217
I don't believe it.
544
00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:46,054
Ernest, your Sultan, has
found her suicide note.
545
00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:49,766
He saw her leave the
hotel five minutes ago.
546
00:46:50,183 --> 00:46:51,518
Give me the Mayor at once.
547
00:46:51,601 --> 00:46:54,103
Get the governor. Tell him we
want that holiday tomorrow.
548
00:46:54,270 --> 00:46:56,439
You're a fine pair of gravediggers.
You and the governor both.
549
00:46:56,481 --> 00:46:59,025
Hello, hello, Mayor? This is
Wallace Cook of the Star calling...
550
00:47:28,721 --> 00:47:35,019
One... two... three...
Enoch!
551
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:36,604
Enoch!
552
00:47:38,064 --> 00:47:40,316
Okay, Hazel, okay!
553
00:47:43,111 --> 00:47:44,112
One...
554
00:47:44,779 --> 00:47:46,072
- Two...
- Hazel!
555
00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:47,490
Stop!
556
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:52,370
Stop!
557
00:47:52,704 --> 00:47:53,705
Stop!
558
00:47:54,539 --> 00:47:57,333
You freakin' fool! What the
devil's the matter with you?
559
00:47:57,792 --> 00:47:59,544
What are you trying to do?
560
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:17,478
- Wally! Wally! Are you all right?
- Sure! I'm all right!
561
00:48:17,937 --> 00:48:20,857
But I... But I can't swim.
562
00:48:21,065 --> 00:48:23,651
- Wally!
- Give me your hand!
563
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:46,341
That's a fine, sweet
trick you tried to play.
564
00:48:46,424 --> 00:48:49,636
- Well, why didn't you stay in Albany?
- Jumping off a pier like some hothead.
565
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:51,971
- I didn't jump, I was pushed!
- Scaring everybody out of their wits...
566
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,264
Stop hollering. I'm-I'm nervous.
567
00:48:53,306 --> 00:48:55,141
Listen, either you give me your word
of honor you won't try that again.
568
00:48:55,183 --> 00:48:56,643
Or I'll spank your little...
569
00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:58,895
Wallace, don't you think you oughta
notify them that you've located me?
570
00:48:58,978 --> 00:49:01,439
You know, it seems unfair to
have 'em dragging the river!
571
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:04,150
Oh, the fresh air will do 'em good.
Come on, I wanna talk to you.
572
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:05,610
What...?
573
00:49:07,070 --> 00:49:09,072
This is as good a place as any.
Get in!
574
00:49:12,867 --> 00:49:16,663
Oh, it's awfully cozy, isn't it?
Are you still mad at me?
575
00:49:17,205 --> 00:49:18,414
I'm mad at myself.
576
00:49:18,790 --> 00:49:21,751
Drooling away to you about the funeral...
That's what drove you to it!
577
00:49:21,918 --> 00:49:24,170
To be really frank with you,
Wallace, it wasn't that at all.
578
00:49:24,629 --> 00:49:28,299
Oh, darling, I'd love to sit in here
with you for the rest of my life.
579
00:49:34,222 --> 00:49:35,223
Hazel?
580
00:49:36,766 --> 00:49:37,934
Will you marry me?
581
00:49:38,184 --> 00:49:41,270
- What?
- You heard me. Will you marry me?
582
00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:43,898
- Oh, Wally...
- Come on, answer me.
583
00:49:44,399 --> 00:49:46,192
But darling, there's
no future in it.
584
00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:49,696
Now, don't talk like a half-wit.
I don't care about the future.
585
00:49:50,071 --> 00:49:51,614
Oh, Wally, if things
were normal, I'd...
586
00:49:52,198 --> 00:49:54,951
Oh, Wally, I... I mustn't.
Don't ask me.
587
00:49:54,951 --> 00:49:59,122
Please, just kiss me once more and let
it go at that without ruining your life.
588
00:49:59,622 --> 00:50:02,542
So what the devil is there
better to life than we've got?
589
00:50:02,834 --> 00:50:06,462
A handful of perfect hours. That's
all the luckiest ever get out of it.
590
00:50:06,963 --> 00:50:09,924
Just a handful of hours
to save and remember.
591
00:50:11,676 --> 00:50:16,723
And then... I'll be there at the end,
sailor. I'll be there waving you goodbye.
592
00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:19,851
It'll be the same as if you
and I had lived forever.
593
00:50:20,184 --> 00:50:23,688
And you'll... you'll
grow old in my heart.
594
00:50:24,689 --> 00:50:25,773
Okay, Skipper.
595
00:50:33,114 --> 00:50:36,242
You seen anyting of a young
lady what yumped in the river?
596
00:50:36,576 --> 00:50:37,618
Yeah. She's... she's right here.
597
00:50:37,660 --> 00:50:40,079
All right. Yim, get the bullmotor.
598
00:50:40,163 --> 00:50:43,791
Oh, never mind the bullmotor.
Now, her breathing's fine.
599
00:50:45,543 --> 00:50:49,756
- Just... drive us to her hotel, will you?
- Sure. Yump in.
600
00:51:00,558 --> 00:51:01,768
Yumpin' Yiminy.
601
00:51:06,522 --> 00:51:09,192
- Oh. Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
602
00:51:11,778 --> 00:51:13,821
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
603
00:51:15,907 --> 00:51:18,367
- Ehh... You're welcome.
- Now...
604
00:51:19,327 --> 00:51:22,038
Looks as if I finally get
my ride on a fire engine.
605
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:24,540
- Yeah.
- Yumpin' Yiminy.
606
00:51:26,167 --> 00:51:28,002
- Uh, Yim?
- Yim.
607
00:51:28,044 --> 00:51:29,045
Okay, Yim!
608
00:51:36,719 --> 00:51:38,930
Ahh! Yumpin' Yiminy!
609
00:51:47,563 --> 00:51:50,441
Gotta go down and bat out the story.
Oliver's having a cat fit.
610
00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:52,944
You know, I've been
misjudging him.
611
00:51:53,194 --> 00:51:57,657
When I told him you were safe and sound, he
choked up and couldn't talk for a minute.
612
00:51:59,200 --> 00:52:00,660
- Oh yes, he's very sweet.
- Yeah.
613
00:52:00,868 --> 00:52:02,870
Well, I'll... I'll see
you in the morning.
614
00:52:03,412 --> 00:52:06,332
Have a good sleep. Good night.
615
00:52:07,166 --> 00:52:11,045
Yes, it's a big fire. Oh, if
you ever hate me, remember
616
00:52:11,462 --> 00:52:15,716
this... and this... and this...
and this and...
617
00:52:22,223 --> 00:52:24,183
The biggest fire since Rome!
618
00:52:39,490 --> 00:52:42,118
Well, well, well. Hello, Hazel.
Come in.
619
00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:44,412
I was wondering
whatever become of you.
620
00:52:47,540 --> 00:52:50,251
Enoch, who is that man?
Enoch, who is that man?
621
00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:53,921
Oh, he's just a stranger from Europe
who dropped in for a little chat.
622
00:52:54,046 --> 00:52:57,008
We've been discussing medicine,
pro and con. Oh, excuse me.
623
00:53:00,595 --> 00:53:02,889
I want to introduce
you to Hazel Flagg.
624
00:53:03,598 --> 00:53:05,850
Mister, uh... What did
you say your name was?
625
00:53:06,142 --> 00:53:09,228
Egelhofer. Dr. Emil Egelhofer.
626
00:53:09,604 --> 00:53:10,897
Dr. Awfulegger...
627
00:53:13,065 --> 00:53:15,484
Seems to me I've heard of
you somewhere, doctor.
628
00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:17,528
Oh, Enoch... Enoch,
sit down now.
629
00:53:18,154 --> 00:53:21,657
I received a radio on the ship
from the Morning Star, Miss Flagg
630
00:53:21,782 --> 00:53:25,369
which excited my professional
as well as humane interests.
631
00:53:25,494 --> 00:53:27,371
And I called on you at once.
632
00:53:29,916 --> 00:53:32,126
Aaah, that must be my colleagues.
633
00:53:33,711 --> 00:53:34,837
Come right in, gentlemen.
634
00:53:39,217 --> 00:53:41,552
This is the young lady,
Miss Hazel Flagg.
635
00:53:41,928 --> 00:53:44,555
Dr. Oswald Vunch of Prague.
636
00:53:47,016 --> 00:53:49,352
Dr. Felix Maratchovsky of Moscow.
637
00:53:51,479 --> 00:53:54,065
Dr. Friedrich Kirchenweisser of Berlin.
638
00:53:55,983 --> 00:54:01,405
All the darkeys am a-weeping...
639
00:54:01,530 --> 00:54:07,536
Massa's in the cold, cold ground...
640
00:54:09,413 --> 00:54:13,084
There is no vestige, no
trace, no single symptom
641
00:54:13,251 --> 00:54:16,254
of radium poising in this
young woman, Mr. Stone.
642
00:54:18,089 --> 00:54:22,051
We had some trouble with that
horse doctor from Vermont
643
00:54:22,593 --> 00:54:25,554
but we took the
X-rays regardless.
644
00:54:27,223 --> 00:54:30,017
Are you sure you examined
the right woman,
645
00:54:30,768 --> 00:54:33,229
and not some... some impostor?
646
00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:39,860
Oh, ho-ho. The only impostor in this case,
Mr. Stone, is this young woman we examined.
647
00:54:40,111 --> 00:54:42,321
The young woman who is
known as Hazel Flagg.
648
00:54:45,408 --> 00:54:49,537
Here's the full report of this examination.
Here's the X-ray pictures
649
00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:54,000
showing the entire skeleton of this
young woman known as Hazel Flagg.
650
00:54:54,667 --> 00:54:58,212
And here, Mr. Stone, is my bill.
651
00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:00,464
Um, um... our bill.
652
00:55:02,133 --> 00:55:06,095
And I will assure you,
not me or my colleagues
653
00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:10,349
will say one single word
of this to the newspapers.
654
00:55:17,398 --> 00:55:20,526
Goodbye. You have nothing more
to worry about, Mr. Stone.
655
00:55:20,818 --> 00:55:22,653
Your troubles are over.
656
00:55:32,121 --> 00:55:34,707
Send me up four sluggers from
the Circulation Department.
657
00:55:45,092 --> 00:55:47,136
Got a bulletin and new lead
for you on Hazel Flagg
658
00:55:47,136 --> 00:55:51,015
that's going to wreathe that sourpuss
of yours into a nosegay of smiles.
659
00:55:52,308 --> 00:55:54,310
Now sit tight and
tuck in your ears.
660
00:55:55,478 --> 00:55:57,313
Miss Flagg is getting
married tonight.
661
00:55:58,814 --> 00:56:01,317
And wish me luck,
old weasel-brain.
662
00:56:04,987 --> 00:56:06,822
Aw, listen, I know
it sounds hysterical
663
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:09,241
marrying somebody with
a few weeks to live.
664
00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:13,496
Like honeymooning with a
hearse at the front door.
665
00:56:14,330 --> 00:56:15,956
But, Oliver, it's on the square.
666
00:56:20,628 --> 00:56:21,796
What's the matter with you?
667
00:56:22,505 --> 00:56:24,924
Listen, I want you to be best man...
668
00:56:26,926 --> 00:56:29,553
Are you stewed or something?
I came in for congratulations.
669
00:56:30,596 --> 00:56:31,847
What's up? What's eating you?
670
00:56:32,848 --> 00:56:38,354
I am sitting here, Mr. Cook,
trying to figure some way
671
00:56:38,562 --> 00:56:43,109
out of the blackest disaster that has
ever struck down an innocent man
672
00:56:43,859 --> 00:56:46,153
since the days of
Judas Ischariot.
673
00:56:46,821 --> 00:56:49,073
What are you mumbling about?
What disaster?
674
00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:54,286
I am sitting here, Mr.
Cook, toying with the idea
675
00:56:54,453 --> 00:56:59,250
of removing your heart-
and stuffing it like an olive!
676
00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:01,794
Hang on, Oliver, you're going screwy.
I'll get Watson.
677
00:57:01,877 --> 00:57:05,214
You ruined me.
You ruined the Morning Star.
678
00:57:05,256 --> 00:57:08,259
You blackened forever the
fair name of journalism.
679
00:57:08,676 --> 00:57:13,264
You and that foul botch
of nature, Hazel Flagg!
680
00:57:14,056 --> 00:57:16,267
You got some excuse for those words,
Oliver. Let's have it. Quick.
681
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:20,020
Excuse?! Excuse?!!!
Look at that!
682
00:57:20,813 --> 00:57:22,481
L-l-l-look at that skeleton!
683
00:57:22,731 --> 00:57:27,611
Not a bone missing, down to the
last healthy vertebra! Intact!
684
00:57:28,028 --> 00:57:31,323
Read that. Rub your nose in it.
That's Hazel Flagg.
685
00:57:31,532 --> 00:57:33,284
The biggest fake of the century.
686
00:57:33,325 --> 00:57:38,205
A lying, faking witch with the soul of
an eel and the brain of a tarantula.
687
00:57:38,456 --> 00:57:40,749
She hasn't got anything
wrong with her at all.
688
00:57:41,584 --> 00:57:43,586
Sweet heaven, I can't believe it.
689
00:57:44,170 --> 00:57:45,713
It's like some miracle.
690
00:57:46,088 --> 00:57:48,632
Get me the Waldorf Hotel
as quick as you can!
691
00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:50,342
Grab Hazel Flagg and
bring her to this office!
692
00:57:50,426 --> 00:57:52,511
If you have to drag her through
the street by the hair!
693
00:57:52,553 --> 00:57:55,014
So help me, Oliver, if you hurt that kid,
I'll knock you cold. I'll brain you!
694
00:57:55,014 --> 00:57:58,225
You stay here and watch that maniac.
Watch every move he makes.
695
00:57:58,434 --> 00:58:01,562
I want Hazel Flagg in this
office within half an hour!
696
00:58:02,563 --> 00:58:04,857
- You're staying here!
- Now, Oliver, you're not gonna hurt her...
697
00:58:04,940 --> 00:58:06,233
- Shut up!
- I'm marrying her.
698
00:58:06,442 --> 00:58:08,527
Get that into that
monkey skull of yours.
699
00:58:08,569 --> 00:58:10,446
I don't care how we've been taken or
what she's done. I'm in love with her...
700
00:58:10,488 --> 00:58:12,990
- Oh, that's a beautiful thought.
- And I thank God on my knees...
701
00:58:12,990 --> 00:58:15,159
that she's a fraud and a
fake and isn't going to die.
702
00:58:15,284 --> 00:58:18,829
You're on your knees thanking God when the
whole town's getting ready to laugh at us.
703
00:58:18,913 --> 00:58:20,831
A howl that'll be heard
around the world!
704
00:58:20,915 --> 00:58:22,666
Let 'em laugh. I'll do
my own laughing back.
705
00:58:22,666 --> 00:58:26,045
- It'll be worse than the French Revolution.
- Well, I hope I'm here when it breaks.
706
00:58:26,629 --> 00:58:30,466
I wanna make one speech to our dear readers
before they carry our heads off on a pike.
707
00:58:30,799 --> 00:58:33,219
Wanna tell 'em we've
been their benefactors.
708
00:58:33,427 --> 00:58:35,804
We gave 'em a chance to pretend
that their phony hearts
709
00:58:35,888 --> 00:58:38,265
were dripping with the milk of
human kindness.
710
00:58:38,349 --> 00:58:40,976
- What's your name?
- Who, me? Max.
711
00:58:41,227 --> 00:58:47,274
I want quiet in this office, Max.
Quiet so I can think...
712
00:58:48,067 --> 00:58:50,486
- Hazel Flagg's a fraud, eh?
- Gag him!
713
00:58:50,486 --> 00:58:53,697
So when you start yelling "foul", remember
she was just a circulation stunt for you.
714
00:58:54,114 --> 00:58:57,076
You used her like you've used every broken
heart that's fallen into your knap-sack.
715
00:58:57,201 --> 00:58:59,787
To inflame the daffy public
and help sell your papers.
716
00:59:00,371 --> 00:59:02,122
That's enough about
sellin' papers!
717
00:59:16,178 --> 00:59:19,306
Before I finish with that female
Dracula, she'll know one thing -
718
00:59:19,306 --> 00:59:23,435
that Oliver Stone is worse than radium
poisoning four ways from the Jack!
719
00:59:26,772 --> 00:59:31,652
Hello? Hello? Who? Moe? Moe who?
720
00:59:32,069 --> 00:59:33,362
Who's Moe Levinsky?
721
00:59:33,529 --> 00:59:36,740
That's my brother. You sent him
over to get that girl. Remember?
722
00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:40,494
Oh, Moe. Listen. What? What's that?
723
00:59:40,995 --> 00:59:44,498
Well, what are you stalling for? Get her
back here to the office as I ordered.
724
00:59:45,291 --> 00:59:47,543
Get the mush out of your
mouth, man, and speak up!
725
00:59:47,543 --> 00:59:50,796
He's a dumb cluck, Mr. Stone.
You better let me talk to him.
726
00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:53,882
You'll just get him excited...
then he's gone.
727
00:59:55,050 --> 00:59:59,513
Hello, Moe? This is Max.
What's on your mind?
728
01:00:00,347 --> 01:00:05,185
Uh-huh... Uh-huh...
Tsk. That's a shame.
729
01:00:05,227 --> 01:00:07,396
- What is it?
- I'm gettin' it.
730
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,482
Go on, Moe. And take it easy.
731
01:00:11,233 --> 01:00:16,780
Uh-huh... Uh-huh...
You don't say.
732
01:00:17,489 --> 01:00:20,451
Look, Moe. Hold the wire, will you?
I'll take it up with Mr. Stone.
733
01:00:20,618 --> 01:00:21,619
Well?
734
01:00:21,744 --> 01:00:24,955
He wants to know where he can get a doctor.
This girl is sick.
735
01:00:24,997 --> 01:00:27,583
- Who's sick?
- This girl. Hazel Flagg.
736
01:00:27,666 --> 01:00:28,542
It's a lie!
737
01:00:28,667 --> 01:00:31,003
Listen, Max, ask him
what she's sick with.
738
01:00:31,086 --> 01:00:34,214
He told me. He said it's
something like the DTs.
739
01:00:34,465 --> 01:00:35,966
Only the dope can't
pronounce it.
740
01:00:36,383 --> 01:00:38,469
- Well, is the nurse there?
- Just a minute.
741
01:00:39,094 --> 01:00:43,015
Hello, M- Hello, Moe?
This is Max.
742
01:00:43,724 --> 01:00:44,933
Your brother, Max!
743
01:00:46,185 --> 01:00:47,269
He's gettin' rattled.
744
01:00:47,770 --> 01:00:52,399
Now, don't fly off the handle, Moe. All
I wanna know - is the noisse there?
745
01:00:53,233 --> 01:00:57,196
No, not a noise. A noisse!
Like a tootsie!
746
01:00:57,488 --> 01:00:58,739
Thaaat's right.
747
01:01:00,282 --> 01:01:03,410
- Uh-huh... Uh-huh...
- Give me that phone.
748
01:01:03,786 --> 01:01:06,538
- I'm gettin' there...
- Give me that phone, I tell you!
749
01:01:07,790 --> 01:01:10,334
- Here's the noisse.
- Miss Rafferty?
750
01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:11,585
Oliver Stone.
751
01:01:12,336 --> 01:01:14,963
Pneumonia?
It's a lie, I tell you.
752
01:01:15,255 --> 01:01:17,549
Temperature of 106?
Dying?
753
01:01:18,133 --> 01:01:21,929
Go back and take her temperature again. I
don't trust that girl until I get a doctor.
754
01:01:22,054 --> 01:01:24,056
No, not Dr. Downer!
755
01:01:24,431 --> 01:01:28,227
Tell Moe to throw that Vermont quack out
of the room the minute he shows his face.
756
01:01:28,394 --> 01:01:29,395
Get me Moe.
757
01:01:29,728 --> 01:01:32,773
Pneumonia? It's the finger
of God if it's true.
758
01:01:33,482 --> 01:01:37,111
Listen, Moe. Don't let anybody
leave that room until I get there.
759
01:01:37,403 --> 01:01:40,239
Dead or alive, nobody
leaves that room. Get me?
760
01:01:40,989 --> 01:01:44,827
It's like a pardon from the gallows.
But I'm trusting nobody this time.
761
01:01:44,910 --> 01:01:46,328
I'm taking no chances.
762
01:01:46,745 --> 01:01:50,749
Hello? Hello? Get me
Dr. Emil Egelhofer of Vienna.
763
01:01:51,125 --> 01:01:53,794
Wherever he is.
Well, try all the hotels.
764
01:01:53,919 --> 01:01:58,006
Listen, Oliver. I'm going over there.
And if you try to stop me,
765
01:01:58,048 --> 01:02:00,467
so help me, I'll get you,
if it takes all my life.
766
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:01,802
Nobody is going to stop you now.
767
01:02:01,927 --> 01:02:04,638
If that little girl is sick,
your place is by her side.
768
01:02:05,806 --> 01:02:08,976
Yes. Dr. Emil Egelhofer of Vienna.
769
01:02:09,601 --> 01:02:11,687
Well, try the medical center.
770
01:02:12,855 --> 01:02:14,648
Try Schulz's Beer Garden!
771
01:02:20,446 --> 01:02:24,199
No, I don't want to see the Mayor.
Take the Mayor away from me.
772
01:02:24,324 --> 01:02:26,910
I want Wallace. Wallace, where are you?
773
01:02:27,536 --> 01:02:29,872
Cut out the shenanigans, will you?
We haven't got any time to lose.
774
01:02:29,955 --> 01:02:33,459
Oh. Wally. Wally, I'm on fire.
Wally...
775
01:02:33,542 --> 01:02:35,210
Now, shut up for a minute
and listen to me.
776
01:02:35,627 --> 01:02:37,755
Egelhofer is gonna be here
in ten or fifteen minutes.
777
01:02:37,838 --> 01:02:38,839
- Egelhofer.
778
01:02:39,548 --> 01:02:41,800
Dr. Emil Egelhofer of Vienna.
779
01:02:43,761 --> 01:02:46,430
- I knew you were faking the minute I...
- Oh, Wally, they were gonna arrest me.
780
01:02:46,513 --> 01:02:50,142
I couldn't get away. I put the thermometer
under the hot water and threw a fit.
781
01:02:51,602 --> 01:02:54,563
Oh, Wally, you hate me. I knew you'd
hate me. I told you, I told you...
782
01:02:54,646 --> 01:02:56,315
Let's not go into that now.
783
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:59,985
Oh, Egelhofer, he'll expose me
again, and there's four of them.
784
01:03:00,486 --> 01:03:02,613
- Keep your head and listen to me.
- You hate me.
785
01:03:02,738 --> 01:03:05,616
- Now shut up. Where's the hot water?
- It's in there.
786
01:03:06,116 --> 01:03:07,367
As if I didn't know...
787
01:03:09,161 --> 01:03:11,705
- Have you got two thermometers?
- Three. I've got three.
788
01:03:11,914 --> 01:03:13,165
- Two are enough.
789
01:03:13,332 --> 01:03:15,876
You'll never forgive me for
what I've clone to you.
790
01:03:15,918 --> 01:03:19,171
Wally, I wanna die. Honest, I
don't wanna live another minute.
791
01:03:19,213 --> 01:03:21,882
Must've been a lot of fun playing
me for the world's prize chump.
792
01:03:21,965 --> 01:03:23,509
- Where's the other thermometer?
- Here.
793
01:03:23,801 --> 01:03:27,262
Wallace Cook, king of the boobs. The
only genuine horse's neck on the market.
794
01:03:27,429 --> 01:03:28,680
I didn't mean it. Really, I didn't...
795
01:03:28,972 --> 01:03:30,589
All right, shut up and listen to the
greatest sucker in Christendom,
796
01:03:30,614 --> 01:03:32,124
and listen hard.
797
01:03:32,476 --> 01:03:34,436
- Egelhofer is coming.
- With his gang?
798
01:03:34,561 --> 01:03:35,437
What gang?
799
01:03:35,521 --> 01:03:37,207
Well, he's got a wagonload
of scientists with him,
800
01:03:37,232 --> 01:03:38,857
with microscopes
and searchlights...
801
01:03:38,899 --> 01:03:42,319
- Oh, I'm sunk. I give up.
- Get out of bed.
802
01:03:42,361 --> 01:03:45,614
No, no. Let them arrest
me and put me in prison.
803
01:03:45,781 --> 01:03:48,283
Well, you won't hate me so
much if I'm behind bars.
804
01:03:48,534 --> 01:03:51,537
Listen, my dying swan. This
is no time to stop faking.
805
01:03:51,829 --> 01:03:53,831
You're gonna have pneumonia, and
you're gonna have it good.
806
01:03:53,956 --> 01:03:56,208
Why, you want me to stand in front
of the window and catch cold?
807
01:03:56,250 --> 01:03:57,793
No, that would take too long.
808
01:03:58,919 --> 01:04:03,090
We gotta raise your pulse to 160. Quick.
We gotta have you a-gasping, panting
809
01:04:03,173 --> 01:04:05,259
and covered with a cold sweat
inside of five minutes.
810
01:04:05,300 --> 01:04:08,512
- How?
- How? I don't... Fight. Fight!
811
01:04:08,595 --> 01:04:10,889
Come on. Come on, Delilah,
up with your dukes.
812
01:04:10,931 --> 01:04:14,309
Oh, I can't. I'm sick
of faking and lying.
813
01:04:14,518 --> 01:04:16,228
Take that ice pack off
your head and fight.
814
01:04:16,270 --> 01:04:19,648
No, no, what's the use?
Why fool them any longer?
815
01:04:20,148 --> 01:04:22,025
Because I love you.
816
01:04:23,360 --> 01:04:24,820
Because I'm going to marry you.
817
01:04:24,820 --> 01:04:26,947
And I don't wanna spend my
honeymoon hanging around Sing-Sing
818
01:04:27,030 --> 01:04:29,116
blowing kisses to you
in the exercise yard!
819
01:04:29,241 --> 01:04:32,160
Come on, stop clogging it. You've
got to be bathed in perspiration!
820
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:36,373
- Come on, get going, you little crook!
- Who's a crook?!
821
01:04:36,415 --> 01:04:38,292
You and your crooked
newspapermen...
822
01:04:38,917 --> 01:04:42,838
That's my baby! Come on, keep
moving, snake brains. Come on.
823
01:04:43,338 --> 01:04:47,342
I'll kill you! Dragging me around like
I was a prize pig with a blue ribbon!
824
01:04:47,426 --> 01:04:51,221
There's no blue ribbons on you, baby.
Just a big yellow sign marked "fake".
825
01:04:51,555 --> 01:04:55,809
I'm a fake, huh? I'm a fake? What are you?
And that phony Santa Claus, Oliver Stone?
826
01:04:55,851 --> 01:04:59,187
Slobbering and drooling all over me...
That's for the Heroines of History!
827
01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:01,273
Mh-hm. And that's
for your Aunt Mary!
828
01:05:01,523 --> 01:05:02,900
Come on. Keep moving,
my little fraud.
829
01:05:02,983 --> 01:05:06,904
I'm not gonna forgive you as long as I live!
I'll just hate you, I'll just hate you...
830
01:05:08,614 --> 01:05:10,699
Let go of me! Let go of me!
831
01:05:12,784 --> 01:05:14,453
Oh, I hate you!
832
01:05:16,955 --> 01:05:18,749
You're gonna have plenty
of reason to hate me.
833
01:05:18,832 --> 01:05:21,710
I'm gonna show you cards and spades
in lying for the next fifty years.
834
01:05:21,793 --> 01:05:23,295
I'm gonna pay you back for
every lie you told.
835
01:05:23,337 --> 01:05:25,064
I'm gonna flirt and lie
and cheat and swindle
836
01:05:25,089 --> 01:05:26,739
right through to
our Golden Wedding.
837
01:05:26,798 --> 01:05:28,967
- Yeah, yeah. Let me hit you just once.
- All right. Come on.
838
01:05:30,052 --> 01:05:33,639
Yep. That's it. Come on, keep coming.
Faster. Faster. Come on.
839
01:05:33,889 --> 01:05:37,976
Keep coming. Faster. Faster. That's it.
Keep swinging. That's the girl. That's it.
840
01:05:38,644 --> 01:05:42,105
- What's the matter? Come on.
- Oh, I'm getting dizzy.
841
01:05:42,230 --> 01:05:46,026
Well, that's fine. That's fine. Now
listen to me, and listen carefully.
842
01:05:46,151 --> 01:05:48,570
When you come to, I want you
to remember what I'm saying.
843
01:05:48,612 --> 01:05:51,531
- What do you mean, come to?
- I mean, when you regain consciousness.
844
01:05:51,615 --> 01:05:54,785
I want you to switch thermometers. Put
the hot one in your mouth, you get me?
845
01:05:54,826 --> 01:05:57,162
Yeah, yeah. Let me
sock you just once.
846
01:05:57,287 --> 01:06:00,374
Just once on the jaw, and
I don't care what happens.
847
01:06:00,374 --> 01:06:01,375
All right. Come on.
848
01:06:02,167 --> 01:06:04,920
I just heard the elevator door. They're
coming. Don't forget about the thermometer.
849
01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:07,631
- Yeah, yeah.
- All right. Say good night to Papa now.
850
01:06:08,173 --> 01:06:09,758
Why? What are you gonna do?
851
01:06:43,792 --> 01:06:45,877
You put up a nice fight, Wally.
852
01:06:50,424 --> 01:06:52,217
You mean to say you
saw the whole thing?
853
01:06:52,300 --> 01:06:54,428
From the beginning, Mr. Cook.
854
01:06:54,511 --> 01:06:56,930
You mean to say you stood there and
let me beat up a defenseless woman?
855
01:06:57,014 --> 01:06:59,766
- I did, Mr. Cook.
- Where's your sense of chivalry?
856
01:06:59,766 --> 01:07:04,146
My chivalry? Aren't you just a trifle
confused, Mr. Cook? You hit her!
857
01:07:04,187 --> 01:07:06,690
That's entirely different. I love her!
858
01:07:19,786 --> 01:07:26,126
Water. Water! I'm on fire!
I'm hot as a coal...
859
01:07:26,168 --> 01:07:29,421
Well, you can cool off now, Hazel.
The jig is up.
860
01:07:29,671 --> 01:07:30,672
What? What?!
861
01:07:31,423 --> 01:07:32,424
The jig is up!
862
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,928
You mean to say the whole thing was...
was for... was for nothing?
863
01:07:37,220 --> 01:07:37,971
Yeah, I'm sorry...
864
01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:39,848
You thought you could put one
over on Oliver Stone, eh?
865
01:07:39,890 --> 01:07:41,620
Well, I guess I still
know a fake when I...
866
01:07:41,645 --> 01:07:42,666
You keep out of this!
867
01:07:44,436 --> 01:07:46,021
- Wally...
- Yes, clear?
868
01:07:55,572 --> 01:07:59,534
Oh, Wally. I didn't mean to do it, I didn't
mean to do it. I love you, I love you...
869
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:08,585
Miss Flagg, I wonder if you're aware of
the traditions of a great newspaper.
870
01:08:08,835 --> 01:08:12,881
Do you realize what it means to those who
carry aloft the torch of journalism?
871
01:08:13,340 --> 01:08:15,759
From the highest editor
to the lowest office boy
872
01:08:15,842 --> 01:08:19,596
the life-blood of a newspaper,
Miss Flagg, is its integrity.
873
01:08:19,763 --> 01:08:20,806
Am I right, Wally?
874
01:08:20,889 --> 01:08:21,932
Word for word.
875
01:08:23,058 --> 01:08:25,685
I wrote that speech for
you ten years ago.
876
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:28,313
At the Cleveland
convention, you remember?
877
01:08:28,313 --> 01:08:31,233
You can both talk all you want.
I've made up my mind.
878
01:08:31,858 --> 01:08:32,859
Your what?
879
01:08:32,901 --> 01:08:35,028
- I'm through.
- What do you mean, you're through?
880
01:08:35,112 --> 01:08:37,906
I'm gonna confess. I'm going back
to Warsaw. They love me there.
881
01:08:38,156 --> 01:08:40,325
They don't hit me on the jaw
and push me in rivers...
882
01:08:40,450 --> 01:08:41,952
But you can't confess.
883
01:08:42,202 --> 01:08:45,622
Do you realize that out there are some of
the most important citizens of this town?
884
01:08:45,664 --> 01:08:49,209
All of those people are out there by
special invitation from the Morning Star.
885
01:08:49,292 --> 01:08:54,339
And why? To pass on to the people of
New York, to the people of the world
886
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:56,383
your last words.
887
01:08:56,967 --> 01:09:00,262
- For instance?
- Ah, this is no time for sarcasm, Wally.
888
01:09:00,345 --> 01:09:03,265
You got me into this, you get me out.
Use your brain.
889
01:09:03,348 --> 01:09:04,349
Mine's stunned.
890
01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:08,395
Where's Dr. Downer? Where's
that weasel-hearted medico?
891
01:09:08,728 --> 01:09:10,063
He's been on a toot.
892
01:09:10,355 --> 01:09:13,108
We could use him. We could
throw him to the wolves.
893
01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,819
Just when we need
him, he isn't here.
894
01:09:17,654 --> 01:09:21,950
I got an idea. We can bury her.
Like they do in India.
895
01:09:22,033 --> 01:09:26,413
You know, like the Yogis. We can stick
a tube down for her to breathe through
896
01:09:26,746 --> 01:09:29,583
and dig her up in the
morning with no harm clone.
897
01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:34,045
- Nothing doing ...!
- Wally! Stop her! Stop her!
898
01:09:34,087 --> 01:09:36,006
- I'm a... I'm a...
- Stop her!
899
01:09:38,425 --> 01:09:41,303
I'm a fake, I'm a phony, I'm not gonna die.
I was never gonna die.
900
01:09:41,344 --> 01:09:43,847
I never had radium poisoning,
I never had anything.
901
01:09:43,930 --> 01:09:45,557
I wanted a trip to New
York, and I got it.
902
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:49,019
And what's more, you and
New York can go... fine!
903
01:09:49,227 --> 01:09:52,147
- Mr. Stone, is this true?
- Uh... uh... yes.
904
01:09:56,026 --> 01:10:00,280
Well, this is terrible. Terrible. I
endorsed this thing. I sponsored this girl.
905
01:10:00,363 --> 01:10:01,740
I gave her the key to the city.
906
01:10:02,240 --> 01:10:04,326
And just as an election was coming up.
907
01:10:07,871 --> 01:10:10,290
Here's your key. I won't
be needing it anymore.
908
01:10:10,457 --> 01:10:13,460
Miss Flagg, I represent
100,000 young matrons.
909
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:17,964
We switched a whole study course
from "The Menace of Communism"
910
01:10:18,048 --> 01:10:19,841
to "The Inspiration of Hazel Flagg".
911
01:10:19,925 --> 01:10:24,387
Miss Flagg. The Girlfriends of the Forest
have just organized a Hazel Flagg Unit
912
01:10:24,679 --> 01:10:28,350
with me as Chief Ranger.
Already, we are 4,000 members.
913
01:10:28,683 --> 01:10:32,812
If you persist in flaunting your
recovery in this flagrant manner
914
01:10:33,021 --> 01:10:36,149
the trees of America will
be without girlfriends.
915
01:10:41,988 --> 01:10:46,076
Ladies and gentlemen, the Morning
Star keeps faith with its readers.
916
01:10:47,035 --> 01:10:49,537
This thing must not get out.
917
01:10:49,537 --> 01:10:51,957
Oh, let me alone. I wish
I really could die...
918
01:10:52,123 --> 01:10:55,085
Go someplace by myself and...
and die alone!
919
01:10:55,293 --> 01:10:56,461
Like an elephant!
920
01:11:59,482 --> 01:12:00,567
Happy, Mr. Cook?
921
01:12:03,069 --> 01:12:04,070
Ecstatic, Mrs. Cook.
922
01:12:16,124 --> 01:12:18,460
I know what you're gonna say.
You think I'm Hazel Flagg.
923
01:12:19,669 --> 01:12:22,464
Well, I'm getting sick and tired of
people mistaking me for that fake!
924
01:12:22,464 --> 01:12:26,593
Fake? Young woman, how dare you
speak of Hazel Flagg as a fake?
925
01:12:26,760 --> 01:12:31,348
How dare you slur the memory of one of
the most gallant girls that ever lived?
926
01:12:32,390 --> 01:12:35,894
Despite you and your kind the world
will never forget Hazel Flagg.
927
01:12:38,229 --> 01:12:39,981
That's what I'm afraid of.
928
01:12:40,148 --> 01:12:44,277
Don't worry, baby. Two months from now,
they won't know who Hazel Flagg was.
929
01:12:44,277 --> 01:12:45,779
They'll find another elephant.
930
01:12:45,820 --> 01:12:48,740
Darling, you're forgetting that everybody
in New York knew me and loved me.
931
01:12:48,782 --> 01:12:51,451
Loved me for my courage,
my brave smile in the face of...
932
01:12:51,534 --> 01:12:54,037
Well, after all, I was a
pretty important person.
933
01:12:54,037 --> 01:12:56,122
Just a flash in the pan of Manhattan.
934
01:12:57,165 --> 01:12:58,750
And they were beginning
to get pretty impatient
935
01:12:58,750 --> 01:13:00,418
at the way you were
dragging the thing out.
936
01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:01,836
That's a lie, and you know it.
937
01:13:01,878 --> 01:13:04,714
Why, right now, millions of people
are crying just thinking about me.
938
01:13:05,006 --> 01:13:06,674
Why don't you get wise
to yourself, Hazel?
939
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:10,136
You're just another freak, like the
Bearded Lady, Jo-Jo the Dog-face...
940
01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:12,347
- Take that back, or I'll...
- Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
941
01:13:12,430 --> 01:13:14,224
Hazel! Hazel!
942
01:13:14,849 --> 01:13:16,476
Yes, Enoch. What is it?
943
01:13:17,435 --> 01:13:18,436
Hazel!
944
01:13:20,188 --> 01:13:21,189
Hazel!
945
01:13:24,275 --> 01:13:26,736
Run for your life!
Run for your life!
946
01:13:27,445 --> 01:13:30,698
The whole town is flooded!
Flooded...
78527