All language subtitles for Mandy s02e03 Holiday for One.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,780 --> 00:00:05,055 ? Well, you came and you gave... ? 2 00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:09,375 "In 20 words or less, say why you deserve a holiday with McVitie's 3 00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:10,556 "Jammie Faces." 4 00:00:10,681 --> 00:00:11,735 DOOR OPENS 5 00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:13,735 Ah, Mandy. 6 00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:15,295 Why do I deserve a holiday? 7 00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:18,135 McVitie's are having a competition to win a cruise. 8 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:20,815 You have to collect a lot of coupons, but luckily I eat 9 00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:22,935 lots of biscuits for the vitamins. 10 00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:27,455 I have to say in 20 words or less why I deserve a holiday. Right. 11 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,215 You need to pull at the heartstrings here, 12 00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:30,535 get them feeling sorry for you. 13 00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:33,895 OK. I deserve a holiday 14 00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:39,255 with McVitie's Jammie Faces 15 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,775 because... All your family have just died 16 00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:43,860 in an industrial explosion. 17 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:47,175 That's ten words, I need ten more. 18 00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:50,535 And you have only three months left to live yourself. 19 00:00:50,660 --> 00:00:51,975 20. 20 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:53,460 Pop it in the post. 21 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:03,335 Mandy! ? I won the competition. ? 22 00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:05,535 Oh, my God! Fantastic! 23 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:07,615 Can I come with you? 24 00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:09,295 Mandy, I'm so sorry. 25 00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:12,295 The holiday is for one person only. That can't be right. 26 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,095 Who gives a holiday for one? 27 00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:16,335 McVitie's. I'm sorry. 28 00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:17,860 Oh, God. 29 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:21,055 It's fine, you go. 30 00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,255 Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. 31 00:01:23,380 --> 00:01:26,335 Don't give me a moment's thought. 32 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:28,340 You just enjoy yourself. 33 00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,740 HORN BLOWS 34 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:54,735 Mandy, what are you doing in there? Coming with you, Lo! 35 00:01:54,860 --> 00:01:57,415 Holiday for one? What do McVitie's think they're playing at? 36 00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,295 But where will you sleep? If you get found out, 37 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:00,975 we will both be thrown off. It's fine. 38 00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,935 There's hundreds of fuckers on this ship. 39 00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:04,535 They can't keep track of everyone. 40 00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:06,295 And how are they going to throw us off? 41 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:08,655 We're at sea. It's not like they can throw us overboard. 42 00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:11,015 - KNOCK ON DOOR - Oh, shit, zip me back in. 43 00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:22,295 Hello. What is your name, please? Lola Okinado Akimbo. 44 00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:25,375 Ah, yes, here you are - the competition winner. 45 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:28,295 Sorry to hear about your family. 46 00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:30,255 You are travelling alone, aren't you? 47 00:02:30,380 --> 00:02:34,255 Erm, yes. It's just that we've had trouble with McVitie's winners 48 00:02:34,380 --> 00:02:37,175 before who seem to think that eating their own body weight 49 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:40,295 in Happy Crunch entitles them to bring stowaways. 50 00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:41,895 Well, I'm all alone. 51 00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:44,500 I'm glad to hear it. That's a big case. 52 00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:49,095 Well, I've never been on a cruise before. 53 00:02:49,220 --> 00:02:51,720 I didn't know what to pack, so I packed everything! 54 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:53,820 Right. 55 00:02:54,820 --> 00:02:56,780 Well...enjoy your holiday. 56 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:00,740 SHE SIGHS 57 00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:06,615 What a misery. 58 00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:08,895 He's probably been at sea too long. 59 00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:11,175 MANDY, MUFFLED: He doesn't even know McVitie's 60 00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:12,815 don't make Happy Crunch any more. 61 00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:14,375 I'm not sure they ever did, actually. 62 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,775 I think it may have been another 63 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:18,020 of Britain's leading biscuit manufacturers. 64 00:03:20,260 --> 00:03:22,615 Hello. Now I know you have someone in here. 65 00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:23,975 I just heard them. 66 00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,975 No! You must be mistaken. 67 00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:27,335 I'm here all alone. 68 00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:30,095 I'm going to have to ask to look in your case. 69 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:32,575 No, you don't have any right to do that. 70 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:35,335 Oh, you should know, madam, that as ship's purser 71 00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:38,415 I have the authority to investigate possible stowaways 72 00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:39,815 under the Piracy Act 1793. 73 00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:43,060 It's maritime law, the rule of the sea. 74 00:03:44,220 --> 00:03:49,055 Now what have we... 75 00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:50,220 ..here?! 76 00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:56,615 I'll be watching you, 77 00:03:56,740 --> 00:03:59,460 Lola Okinado Akimbo. 78 00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:05,895 What a prick. Oh, Mandy, you are going to have to keep 79 00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:07,695 a very low profile on this trip. 80 00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:10,135 Don't worry about me. I'll be as quiet as a mouse. 81 00:04:10,260 --> 00:04:11,655 You won't even know I'm here. 82 00:04:11,780 --> 00:04:13,975 You cannot sleep here, Mandy. There's no room. 83 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:16,815 And that purser will be looking for you. 84 00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:19,295 I don't want to get you into trouble, Lola. 85 00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:21,540 I'll find somewhere else to sleep. 86 00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,060 HORN BLOWS 87 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,695 HORN BLOWS 88 00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:45,935 ..kin' hell, is this all free? 89 00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:49,295 Yes, it's all included, except the continental cheeses. 90 00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:51,500 All right. They are extra. OK. 91 00:05:57,980 --> 00:05:59,940 Hey, I'm having a go at that. 92 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:04,055 That's brilliant, that. 93 00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:05,615 Oh, very entertaining, indeed. 94 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,935 Thank you, Margaret. 95 00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,975 - GLASS SINGS - Margaret, thank you so much. 96 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,975 That's a lovely, that is. Brilliant. 97 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:15,415 Now it's time for our next contestant. 98 00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,575 Who have we got? Let's have a look. 99 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,815 OK, and what is your name, my darling? 100 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,535 Mandy Carter. 101 00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:22,895 Mandy. What a lovely name. 102 00:06:23,020 --> 00:06:25,015 And what are you going to do for us tonight, my love? 103 00:06:25,140 --> 00:06:27,855 I'm going to swallow a tangerine whole. You're going to what? 104 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:30,175 RAISES VOICE: I'm going to swallow a tangerine whole. 105 00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,895 Oh, is that dangerous? 106 00:06:32,020 --> 00:06:34,495 Yeah, it can be. I nearly died last time I did it, 107 00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:36,495 but luckily my neck muscles crushed 108 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,735 it and pushed it down at the last minute. 109 00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:41,695 Oh! Well, let's just hope there's a doctor on board. 110 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:44,860 OK, well, Mandy, in your own time, take it away. 111 00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:49,900 DRUM ROLL 112 00:07:18,460 --> 00:07:20,575 - How about that, everyone? - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 113 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,975 Wow, that were tense, Mandy. 114 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,735 What an extraordinary talent. Isn't it? 115 00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:28,495 You've seen now all of our super talented 116 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,735 contestants, but it's now time for you to choose a winner. 117 00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:34,575 So in front of you, you'll see a piece of paper and a pen. 118 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:37,615 And if you would like to write down the number of the contestant 119 00:07:37,740 --> 00:07:39,295 that you enjoyed the most. 120 00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:42,455 So once all the results are in, we will announce the winners. 121 00:07:42,580 --> 00:07:46,140 But in the meantime, here's a song about losers. 122 00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:51,895 ? Every loser wins 123 00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:54,015 ? Once the day begins... ? 124 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,415 Well done, Mandy! Oh, thanks, Lo! 125 00:07:56,540 --> 00:07:58,375 Hey, you don't know where the bogs are, do you? 126 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,975 I think I had too much to eat in that all-you-can-eat buffet. 127 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,780 Down the corridor, on your left. 128 00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,580 ? Every loser wins... ? 129 00:08:21,580 --> 00:08:23,215 Go on, down you go. 130 00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:25,415 OK, well, we're just counting the votes. 131 00:08:25,540 --> 00:08:27,855 I think we do have a winner, do we? 132 00:08:27,980 --> 00:08:30,775 The winner will have the honour 133 00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:34,775 of winning a ticket to sit and dine with the captain. 134 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,455 Oh, that's posh. 135 00:08:36,580 --> 00:08:37,700 FLUSHING 136 00:08:39,220 --> 00:08:41,340 Oh, don't... Oh, God. 137 00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:51,535 We do have a winner. 138 00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:55,135 OK, well, the winner is number ten, Mandy Carter. 139 00:08:55,260 --> 00:08:56,420 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 140 00:08:57,940 --> 00:08:59,295 Thank you. Thank you. 141 00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,855 Are you pleased? Yeah. 142 00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:03,215 I'm really pleased. 143 00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:04,735 It's not about the winning, is it? 144 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,500 It's just nice to be entered. 145 00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:14,295 Captain, have I introduced you to Mandy Carter? 146 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,495 She's the winner of the talent competition, 147 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:19,135 and her lovely friend, Lola. 148 00:09:19,260 --> 00:09:22,775 Ah, Lola, the McVitie's competition winner. 149 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:26,015 I was sorry to hear about the industrial explosion. 150 00:09:26,140 --> 00:09:30,095 I don't believe I've seen you on the ship before, Mandy. 151 00:09:30,220 --> 00:09:32,855 Oh, well, I've been trying to blend in. 152 00:09:32,980 --> 00:09:34,620 Mandy Carter. 153 00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:37,020 Carter, Mandy. 154 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:44,215 So what is your talent, Mandy Carter? 155 00:09:44,340 --> 00:09:46,975 Well, I can swallow a tangerine whole. 156 00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:48,140 HOST LAUGHS 157 00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:53,015 That's a very fetching dress you have on. 158 00:09:53,140 --> 00:09:54,735 Oh, thanks. 159 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,735 It's just something I threw on. 160 00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:59,495 I served on HMS Invincible 161 00:09:59,620 --> 00:10:02,015 in the Falklands, by the way. 162 00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,375 I don't know what any of that means. 163 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:08,335 Would you show me this trick you do with the tangerine, Mandy? 164 00:10:08,460 --> 00:10:10,255 Yeah, yeah. Have you got one? 165 00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:11,535 I'm the captain. 166 00:10:11,660 --> 00:10:13,540 I can get whatever I want. 167 00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:15,580 Steward. 168 00:10:17,260 --> 00:10:18,300 Tangerine, now. 169 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,215 Would you care for another potato? 170 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:24,380 Oh, ta! 171 00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:29,580 Take two. 172 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:35,735 So what do I do? Like this? 173 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:38,300 No, no, you have to peel it first! 174 00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:47,740 CAPTAIN MOANS 175 00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:54,335 Stand back, stand back! 176 00:10:54,460 --> 00:10:56,335 Don't panic, I am trained in first aid. 177 00:10:56,460 --> 00:10:57,855 It's fine. 178 00:10:57,980 --> 00:10:59,375 It's going to be fine. 179 00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:00,815 I know the Heimalich manoeuvre. 180 00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:05,215 It's the Heimlich manoeuvre - get it right. 181 00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:06,380 Come on! 182 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:11,975 Cough it up. 183 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:14,855 Remember the Falklands! Captain? 184 00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:16,460 Come on, get him up. 185 00:11:18,580 --> 00:11:20,575 THEY GASP 186 00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,940 Stand back, stand back, stand back. 187 00:11:29,020 --> 00:11:30,175 The Captain is dead. 188 00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:31,340 Oh! 189 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:07,415 ? Near, far, wherever you are 190 00:12:07,540 --> 00:12:13,335 ? I believe that the heart does go on 191 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:17,695 ? Once more, you open the door 192 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,495 ? And you're here in my heart 193 00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:24,255 ? And my heart will go on 194 00:12:24,380 --> 00:12:27,375 ? And on. ? 195 00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:31,455 Yes, thank you. That was very...moving. 196 00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:34,775 It is maritime tradition, 197 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:39,815 the captain of a ship is buried at sea. Since he served 198 00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:44,455 in the Falklands, it has been the captain's wish to have his body 199 00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,495 fired from a cannon. 200 00:12:46,620 --> 00:12:51,015 But we have not had time to do the proper risk assessment for that, 201 00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:55,615 and so we are just going to slide him over the railings. 202 00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:58,740 You! Mandy Carter! 203 00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:03,375 I don't know how you have the nerve to show your face here. 204 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:07,135 First, you board this ship without a ticket, then your so-called 205 00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:12,295 talent with a tangerine causes the death of our beloved captain. 206 00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:14,335 I know when I'm not wanted. 207 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,175 Stop...right...there. 208 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:22,495 What now? Do you really think it is appropriate to come to the funeral 209 00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:25,295 of a man who served in the Falklands 210 00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:28,260 wearing an Argentina football top? 211 00:13:30,140 --> 00:13:33,375 That's it! Get this woman off my ship! 212 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,260 HORN BLOWS 213 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:42,700 I spy with my little eye, something beginning with... 214 00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:45,255 ..S. 215 00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:46,495 Sea. 216 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:47,660 No. S. 217 00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:52,775 Sharks. Sky. Stowaway. 218 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,935 No. Sinking ship. 219 00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,100 Look. Oh, my God. 220 00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,340 HORN BLOWS 221 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,660 I knew there was something wrong with that toilet. 222 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:08,260 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 16204

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