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1
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,620
Wow. I can't believe
2
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:14,797
you sleep in a bed every night.
3
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:19,845
Ooh, a girl could really get
used to this pillow business.
4
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,630
Yep, I could've used one.
5
00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:24,024
[groans]
God, hey, would you mind
6
00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:25,982
rubbing this knot
in my shoulder, Nancy?
7
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,853
Hey, hey, hey.
8
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,246
You know the rules.
9
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,118
This is a fake relationship,
10
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:34,817
so I am not rubbing
any of your man parts.
11
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:37,080
I mean, technically,
everyone has shoulders.
12
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,995
Ooh, now how about
we head downstairs
13
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,216
and get that living butler
to make us something to smell
14
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:43,434
for breakfast?
15
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,522
You mean Sam?
16
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,176
She's actually a writer
17
00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,873
and a small business owner,
she's not our butler.
18
00:00:47,917 --> 00:00:50,093
Oh, okay, okay.
19
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,921
Too good to be a butler.
20
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,706
You know, when I was alive,
women couldn't even be a butler.
21
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,318
You could be a wench,
a midwife or a whore.
22
00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,103
Oh, well, that's not something
23
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:02,497
I feel particularly
compelled to follow up on.
24
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:03,759
♪
25
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:10,113
[phone chimes, buzzes]
26
00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:15,988
Oh, that's Bela.
She'll be here in an hour.
27
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:18,861
And now you'll probably explain
to a room full of ghosts
28
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:20,254
who Bela is.
29
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,691
I mean, was curious, yes.
30
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:23,996
Bela's Jay's sister.
31
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,389
She lives in Boston,
she's coming to visit.
32
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,261
Oh.Oh, must be nice.
33
00:01:27,304 --> 00:01:29,567
All my sisters died
before the age of two.
34
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,179
Damn, Isaac, we ain't even
smelled our morning coffee yet.
35
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:34,268
SAMANTHA: Bela's boyfriend
broke up with her last week,
36
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,139
so she's coming to stay
to clear her head.
37
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,054
How is she doing now, Jay?
38
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,665
I talked to her a few days ago,
and she's still really down.
39
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,624
Oh, that's great.
Excuse me?
40
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,147
No, I mean, it's awful.
41
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,801
It's just, you know,
42
00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,933
I excel in helping girlfriends
get over breakups.
43
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,371
I hope she really likes
the Legally Blondefranchise,
44
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,460
'cause that is gonna be
a big part of her next 48 hours.
45
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:55,767
Okay, let's just try
not to act too excited.
46
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,247
Sorry, sorry.
47
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:58,379
It's just, I thought
this could be a chance
48
00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,989
for she and I to finally bond.
49
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:01,904
Look, I don't have
siblings,
50
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,254
so when you and I got married,
I thought Bela and I
51
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:06,604
could become sisters,
but that hasn't happened.
52
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,171
ISAAC:
Excuse me,
53
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:10,608
but in what room will
this Bela be sleeping?
54
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,828
Oh, right.
Well, I guess one of you guys
55
00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,438
will have to give up
your room for the weekend.
56
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,397
[ghosts dissenting]
57
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,702
Sorry.
THORFINN: Okay.
58
00:02:17,746 --> 00:02:19,878
I have plan.
59
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,576
Thor, we can't kill Bela.
60
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,795
[laughs]
It's not what I was
61
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,580
going to say, but, uh,
62
00:02:25,623 --> 00:02:29,061
give Thor a moment to think
of what I was going to say.
63
00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:31,412
[sighs] Not kill.
64
00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,196
ISAAC:
Troops,
65
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,024
Samantha has informed us that
one of us will be required
66
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,896
to forfeit our rooms.
67
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:39,115
Can't the sister just
take the empty bedroom?
68
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,551
HETTY:
We offered that,
69
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,163
but Samantha is aware
of the mold and the draft.
70
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,208
You got to sell the view.
When I was pushing penny stocks,
71
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,731
you think I emphasized the risk?
72
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,516
No, you shine that turd.
73
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:49,865
I call not it.
74
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,388
Is unbreakable oath.
75
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:53,260
Oh, please, that is how
children make decisions.
76
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:54,957
But also, not it.
77
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,002
Trevor is the most recently
dead, let him take it.
78
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,527
Ooh, that's how we divvied
things up in the first place.
79
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:02,747
This time we do it
in reserve order of seniority.
80
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:05,663
Thor not like this. This
is bad outcome for Thor.
81
00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:07,143
[overlapping chatter]
82
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,365
The sanctity of my room
will not be...
83
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:12,844
Hey! Hey! Guys!
84
00:03:12,888 --> 00:03:14,846
I can't stand
to watch you fight.
85
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,326
I will take the room.
Oh.
86
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:18,067
You sure, Pete?Yeah. You know,
87
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,242
a little mold
never hurt anybody.
88
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:20,461
[laughs] It'll
be like camping.
89
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,289
Then it's settled.
Thank you, Pete,
90
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,551
for your sacrifice,
and for your sake,
91
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,117
I hope that the rain holds out
92
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,249
so you don't have to deal
with that pesky leak.
93
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,164
Uh? Oh, sorry,
94
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,992
the-the-- there's a leak
in there now?
95
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,689
Be even more like camping.
96
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:32,995
[laughs]
True.Nature.
97
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:35,954
Nature. Yay!
98
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:40,132
[knocking on door]
99
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,612
Okay, that must be her.
100
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:44,093
Let the girl bonding begin.
101
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,532
LL Uncool Jay.
102
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:49,620
'Cause that never gets old.
103
00:03:49,664 --> 00:03:51,274
[laughs]
Hey.
104
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:53,885
-SAMANTHA: Hey.
-Hey, Sam.
105
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,974
Hi. Oh, I don't need a nickname,
106
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,063
but Manhattan Sam Chowder
could be something
107
00:03:58,107 --> 00:03:59,587
if you're looking for one.
108
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,632
What? You mean New England?
109
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,155
Manhattan is a soup, as well.
110
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:06,724
It's also where I lived,
so it's tomato-based.
111
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:08,117
[Thorfinn chuckles]
112
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,118
This is painful.
113
00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:11,947
Yeah, I can't watch this.
114
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,992
Oh, this place is epic.
115
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,603
Okay.
[laughs]
116
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,779
It is so good to see you guys.
117
00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:19,346
JAY:
It's good to see you, too.
118
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,217
I wish it could have been
under better circumstances.
119
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,567
Oh, but don't worry. I have
the perfect night planned
120
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,482
to help you get over that jerk.
121
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:28,398
Oh, guys, it's cool.
I'm so over him.
122
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,486
What's that?
123
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,314
I met someone new.Already?
124
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,316
Wow.So you don't need, like,
125
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,709
any cheering up at all, huh?
126
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,145
[laughs]
That's great.
127
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,103
There goes that plan.
128
00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,496
BELA:Yeah, I set my
dating profile
129
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,455
to the Hudson Valley
a couple days ago,
130
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,674
'cause I knew I was gonna be
up here, and then boom,
131
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:45,937
I matched
with this insanely hot guy.
132
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,722
We've been
messaging,
133
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,332
and we're really vibing.
134
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,333
[gasps]
Do you want to see him?
135
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:51,856
Yeah, sure.
136
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,816
Oh, dang. I got to stop
leaving my house on 17%.
137
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,948
Well, I'm gonna drop my bags
and grab a charge.
138
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,080
I'll show you the way.
139
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,998
Sorry Jay's sister's
not devastated, Sam.
140
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,957
Yes, we are here for you.
141
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,481
Thanks, guys.
142
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:11,180
So, you just gave away
our pillow palace
143
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,269
to some rando's sister?
144
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,097
It's not some rando. It's Jay.
145
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,186
Who the hell's Jay?
146
00:05:17,229 --> 00:05:19,057
Sam's husband?Huh?
147
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:21,233
The living butler's husband?
148
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:24,628
Oh, face it, Pete.
You're a pushover.
149
00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,064
Because I gave in
on one little thing
150
00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:28,197
in the interest
of house harmony?
151
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,200
You didn't give in on one thing.
You give in on everything.
152
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,810
You told me yourself
153
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,551
you never get to pick the movie
on movie night.
154
00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,292
Well, that's true.And you're
155
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,860
always the caboose
in the massage train.I mean,
156
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:41,906
someone's got to be.Why can't it be
a circle, huh?
157
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:45,214
That way, everyone gets
their man parts rubbed.
158
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:48,348
Again, shoulders
are not specific to men.You start
159
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,045
standing up for yourself
160
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:51,568
and get our room back,
161
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:54,963
or I will tell everyone
our relationship is fake
162
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:58,270
and that you have a huge crush
on Alberta.
163
00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,185
You know,
there's a certain irony
164
00:06:00,229 --> 00:06:02,797
to you strong-arming me
into being less of a pushover.
165
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,321
That did not escape me, Pete.
[chuckles]
166
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,236
[coughs]
167
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:08,803
Housekeeping.
168
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,674
[Samantha chuckles][chuckles, gasps softly]
169
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,416
And we are charged. Do
you want to see the guy?SAMANTHA: Oh.
170
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,939
Yes, please.Okay, now,
171
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,463
he's not my normal type.
He comes off
172
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,334
as this, like,
douchey finance bro.
173
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,727
And he is a little,
174
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:22,164
but he's also,
like, really sensitive.
175
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,602
Damn, Bela!
176
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:28,605
Get it, girl. This dude is hot.Right?
177
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,303
Oh, my God.
178
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,307
He's really something.
179
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,787
I can explain.
180
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,316
Look, I don't see what's wrong.
I mean, that guy seems great.
181
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,015
Not to mention, so dreamy.
182
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,712
Wow. That's so kind.No.
183
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:51,149
I don't want another word out
of you unless it's explaining
184
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,412
why my sister-in-law
was chatting
185
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,804
to a guy
with your profile picture.
186
00:06:53,848 --> 00:06:55,589
Whose picture?SAMANTHA:
The guy in the photo,
187
00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,504
it was Trevor.JAY:Trevor?
188
00:06:57,547 --> 00:07:00,245
No pants? The one who
keeps hitting on you?
189
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:03,118
How come you never told me
about those cheekbones?TREVOR: Okay,
190
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,337
starting to warm up to this guy.You.
191
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,688
Just out with it.
What the hell is going on?
192
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:10,517
I may have made myself
a dating profile.What?
193
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,737
How?Well, it all started
a few months back.
194
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:16,392
I was minding my own business,
hoping I might get lucky
195
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,394
and see a painter
fall off his ladder.
196
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,483
When you've been dead 20 years,
it's the little things
197
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:21,789
that really keep you going.
198
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,660
Please get to the point.Right. Anyway,
199
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:27,447
he took a break, and nothing
prepared me for what I saw next.
200
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,972
So many women.
201
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,800
[chuckles]:
So many varieties.
202
00:07:32,843 --> 00:07:35,106
Short women. Tall women.
Platinum blondes.
203
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,935
Dirty blondes.
Strawberry blondes.SAMANTHA: This is painful.
204
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:39,241
TREVOR:
The humble craftsman
205
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,896
had shown me a brave new world,
206
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,985
and I knew right away
that I wanted in.
207
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,509
So, for the next month,
I studied.
208
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:50,208
I learned how to download apps.
I asked all the right questions.
209
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,993
Oh, what a cute
little stinker.
210
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,212
How exactly did
you save that?
211
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,911
In detail.Oh, it's easy.
212
00:07:56,954 --> 00:08:00,088
You just press down, and
the menu pops up, and...
213
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,698
Interesting.
214
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:04,179
And eventually
I was ready to put my plan
215
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:05,659
into action.
216
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:09,053
[chuckles]
217
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,533
SAMANTHA:
He used the kitchen iPad.
218
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,275
I knew we needed
a better password than 1234.
219
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:14,885
You're right. I should
have anticipated
220
00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:17,279
a ghost catfishing
my sister.Wait,
221
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,976
how did you get a picture
of yourself?
222
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,457
TREVOR:
It took weeks of sneaking down
223
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,546
night after night,
working letter by letter.[grunts]
224
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:26,114
Sam, I was like Andy Dufresne
chiseling
225
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,768
through to a new life
with a little rock hammer.[grunts]
226
00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,204
Andy Dufresne? Who's that?
227
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,814
Seriously? Shawshank. Shawshank.
228
00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:32,424
Come on, babe.
229
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:34,426
TREVOR: Finally,
after all that toiling...
230
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,516
[panting]
231
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,692
...it was done.
232
00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,955
The perfect profile.
233
00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:47,570
[grunts]
234
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:50,268
And then, one fateful night,
I started getting matches.
235
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,488
[grunts]
236
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,359
And then two days ago,
I matched with Jay's sister.
237
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,231
And then a couple days ago,
he matched with Bela.
238
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:59,103
They feel pain when
we pass through them, right?Jay.
239
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:02,193
Is he seri... [grunts]Come here! Oh! [grunts]
240
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,891
Where are you?
241
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,633
Ooh. Aah!
242
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,460
Oh!Did I get him?
243
00:09:08,504 --> 00:09:10,027
Yeah, really good.
244
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,594
[clears throat]I'm sorry.
245
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,509
The only thing that hurts more
246
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,772
than knowing that I died
before finding true love
247
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,122
is knowing that I died before
I could crush it on these apps.
248
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:20,124
What was your endgame, Trevor?
249
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:22,039
I just wanted the validation,
I guess.
250
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:23,606
But then Bela showed up
at the house,
251
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,869
and I realized those are
real people on those apps.
252
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,698
Or maybe they're other
super motivated ghosts like me,
253
00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:30,134
but that seems less likely.
254
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:32,136
Do you have any idea
what you've done?
255
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:33,485
I'm sorry.
256
00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,662
It's really lonely
being a ghost.
257
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:37,577
I miss having that connection
with someone new,
258
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:40,144
that hope
that she might be the one.
259
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:42,451
I'm never gonna get that again.
260
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:43,757
Aw.
261
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,410
No! I'm still mad.
262
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:48,979
Ooh, Sam,
this is really, really bad.
263
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,155
Bela was so upset when
Gabe broke up with her.
264
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:53,810
Her emoji use was unhinged.
265
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,813
If she finds out
she was catfished now...
266
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,294
Well, you wanted a reason
to cheer her up.SAMANTHA: No.
267
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,035
I actually wanted to help her
268
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,037
through a normal
but difficult situation.
269
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,692
I didn't want her destroyed
by some dead frat bro.
270
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,781
JAY:
Oh, we are going to have to play this
271
00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,304
very delicately.
272
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:10,435
I got it.
273
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:12,524
Trevor has to "move."
274
00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:14,004
Yes.
275
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:15,745
To somewhere far away
276
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:18,356
and unappealing. Because
she's my sister. I love her.
277
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,358
But she's very thirsty,
and she could follow him.
278
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:23,318
I mean, I saw that jawline.
It's like granite.
279
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,885
Love this guy.
280
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,669
PETE:
Howdy, folks.
281
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,628
This will just take a minute.HETTY:
Wh-What is this?
282
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,108
Isaac and I were in the middle
of a riveting debate on scarves.
283
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:34,416
You got this, Pete.
Just like we practiced.
284
00:10:34,459 --> 00:10:36,592
[exhales]
Listen up, ghosts.
285
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,638
I have spent the
last 40 years
286
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:40,465
bending over backwards
to compromise
287
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,685
for the sake of
house harmony,
288
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,687
but I'm here to
tell you I'm done.
289
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:47,951
I've had it up to my arrow
with all of your applesauce.
290
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,344
It's time for Pete
291
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:50,650
to finally get
what he wants.
292
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:51,955
NANCY:
And he wants
293
00:10:51,999 --> 00:10:54,218
a mold-free room,
so one of you
294
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:57,395
is making way
for Pete and his girl.
295
00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:00,311
If that's amenable
to everyone.
296
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,052
Or even if it's not.
297
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:03,401
NANCY: Yeah.PETE: Also,
298
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:04,489
I will no longer
be the caboose
299
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:05,708
on the massage train.
300
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,450
I lead it now.
I'm the engine.
301
00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:09,669
NANCY:
[laughs] You hear that?
302
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:12,280
Let's go.All right.
303
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:17,764
Well, the moment we all feared
has arrived.
304
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:20,505
Pete's developed a spine.HETTY:
This is
305
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,594
an unfortunate turn of events.
306
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,031
What are y'all
talking about?
307
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:25,380
Pete's finally sticking
up for himself,
308
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:26,642
and you think
that's a bad thing?
309
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,730
Need I remind you
what it was like
310
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,253
before that saint of a man
311
00:11:29,297 --> 00:11:31,038
was felled by a
little girl's arrow?
312
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:33,388
No one compromised on
anything around here.
313
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:34,563
Isaac is right.
314
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:36,347
Pete's spinelessness is
315
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:39,350
the grease that keeps the wheels
of our little world turning.
316
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,570
We had people like Pete
in Viking society.
317
00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:43,441
We sacrificed them,
318
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:47,054
then gave their blood to please
our gods and prevent famine.
319
00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:50,231
They were respected.
Dead but respected.
320
00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:51,536
ALBERTA:Well,
321
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,103
I like this new Pete.
322
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:54,975
He's got gumption.
323
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,325
And maybe the answer isn't him
going back to the way he was.
324
00:11:57,368 --> 00:11:59,414
Maybe the answer is all of us
325
00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:02,983
actually learning
to compromise for once.
326
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,551
There's got to be
a better way.[laughs] That's not happening.
327
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:08,118
[footsteps approaching]
328
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:09,641
SAMANTHA:
Hey,
329
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:11,208
Bela, what's wrong?
330
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:14,646
Turns out Trevor's
a lying piece of trash.
331
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,213
He told me
he's moving to Newfoundland,
332
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,780
which sounds made-up.
333
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:19,782
I told you, we should
have gone with Mykonos.
334
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:22,393
It could be real.Mm, yeah.
He could've moved there.
335
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,526
Although, obviously,
336
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:28,182
it's too far and cold
to visit or follow someone to.
337
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,792
Mm, something's off.
338
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,446
I'm looking this asshat up.
339
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:33,361
See if he's even
who he says he is.
340
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:36,146
You don't know his last name.
How could you even do that?
341
00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,582
Oh, I just do
a reverse image search
342
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,410
with his profile photo.JAY:
Oh.
343
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,499
That's so cool
that you can do that.
344
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,503
BELA:
This picture's from an obituary,
345
00:12:45,547 --> 00:12:47,941
and the guy died 20 years ago.
346
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,899
It's the only picture
of me on the Internet.BELA: Oh, my God.
347
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,640
Do you know what this means?
348
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:53,729
I got catfished.
349
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,817
No.What?
350
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,079
This is messed-up.
351
00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:57,341
He is not getting away
with this.
352
00:12:57,385 --> 00:13:00,083
"Hey, doucher,
I know you're not real.
353
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,870
And BT dubs,
catfishing is so ten years ago."[message sends]
354
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,523
[iPad chimes]"Who are you?
355
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,264
Some thousand-year-old virgin?"[message sends]
356
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,396
[iPad chimes]
357
00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,836
Bela, wait.[keys clacking]
358
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,925
[message sends][iPad chimes]
359
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,973
Why does that sound keep
coming from your iPad?
360
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:21,931
Great question.
Why don't you hand it over,
361
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,193
and I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.
362
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,891
Unlock the iPad, Jay.
363
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,894
I would, but I-I forgot
the passcode.Well, luckily,
364
00:13:27,937 --> 00:13:30,418
it's been the same
since junior high. 1234.
365
00:13:31,854 --> 00:13:32,855
[exhales]
366
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:37,251
You'reTrevor?
367
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,998
Okay, I am freaking out
right now.
368
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:46,303
Bela,
it's not what it looks like.
369
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:47,957
We just invited you up
to the house
370
00:13:48,001 --> 00:13:49,872
because we wanted
to cheer you up.
371
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,657
You thought creating Trevor
would cheer me up?
372
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,224
Ew. No.Oh, no.
373
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,052
You didn't think
I could find a real man again,
374
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,359
so you created a fake one
to flirt with me
375
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,752
and compliment my smile.I really meant that.
376
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,233
BELA:And you made up a
guy that is exactly
377
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,495
everything I'm looking for.
378
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:06,280
Someone who loves clubbing
379
00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:07,759
and the Hamptons
380
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,718
and jam bands
from the late '90s.
381
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,459
We're freaking meant
for each other.
382
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:12,634
That's not what happened.
383
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,897
Then what did happen?I...
384
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,552
don't have a good explanation.
385
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,683
You guys are sick.
386
00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,729
I'm packing my bags and leaving.
387
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,602
I mean, we sexted.
388
00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,126
Ugh!
389
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,911
I didn't know it had a name.
390
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,434
[shudders]
391
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:33,263
That's Hetty,
Alberta, oh, and me.
392
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:35,396
Three against one, Thor,
you must give up your room
393
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,093
to Pete and the filthy one.
394
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,574
Mm-mm. Thor not moving.
395
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,010
But we voted.
396
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,708
Thor not believe in democracy.ISAAC:
Oh,
397
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:46,537
how convenient.Fine. I change my vote to Isaac.
398
00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:48,496
Me, too.Weasels!
399
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:49,758
All of you.
400
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,368
They're hurting
each other's feelings.
401
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,022
I have to put a stop to this.[overlapping arguing]
402
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,632
Oh, here we go.THORFINN:
Out of my room!
403
00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:57,331
Spineless Pete worming his
way back to the surface.
404
00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,942
Do you want to know
why I compromise, Nancy?
405
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,465
Yeah.I'm modeling
406
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:03,163
for these people. Yes,
407
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,643
it's been 40 years, and, yes,
they're not exactly picking up
408
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,907
what I'm laying down,
but I believe in them.
409
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,691
They have good in them.
410
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,911
[sighs] And eventually
they're gonna get there.
411
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,651
And until that time,
412
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,653
I'm gonna keep
setting an example.
413
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,266
That's BS. You're just scared
of someone not liking you.
414
00:15:19,309 --> 00:15:20,963
Oh, yeah?
415
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,617
Yeah, you wimp.
416
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:23,835
That is enough!
417
00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,315
...powder off your wig.
418
00:15:25,359 --> 00:15:27,361
I cannot take one more
minute of your bullying!
419
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,885
You want me to stand up
for myself and have a spine?
420
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,714
Well, here we go!
It is over between us.
421
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:35,238
I am done listening to you.
422
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:36,631
So if you have something
you want to say to everyone,
423
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:38,894
you just go ahead and say it.Fine!
424
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,375
[sighs]
425
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,380
I'm going back down
to the basement
426
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,859
'cause I just broke up
427
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,514
with my very real boyfriend
428
00:15:50,558 --> 00:15:53,517
and, also, 'cause
you all suck,
429
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:57,217
and I'd rather be with the
cholera pit people. Huh.
430
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,263
[whispers]:
Proud of you, Petey.
431
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:05,007
[exhales, sniffs]
Now, you listen up good.
432
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,704
I'm taking the moldy room,
433
00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:09,011
and I don't want to hear
another word about it.
434
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:14,016
Yeah. That's what I thought.
435
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,801
Does that mean
she's single now?
436
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:18,890
JAY:
Bela.
437
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:20,066
I have nothing
to say to you two.
438
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,415
No, no, you have to trust
439
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,938
that we weren't trying
to hurt you.
440
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,374
It doesn't matter
what you were trying to do.
441
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,811
You thought I was so pathetic
that the best way
442
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:29,292
to help me
was to concoct some giant lie.
443
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:33,688
I don't think I'll ever be able
to forgive you.
444
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,692
It was a ghost.What?
445
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:40,129
Babe, are you sure
about this?Look, I know
446
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,870
that this is
gonna sound crazy,
447
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:44,003
but if it has any chance of
salvaging this relationship,
448
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:45,439
I have to come clean.
449
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,572
A few months ago, I
fell down the stairs
450
00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:51,401
and I went into a coma. Thank
you for the flowers, by the way.
451
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,621
And when I woke up,
I could see ghosts.
452
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,450
Trevor died in this
house 20 years ago.
453
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,756
And he doesn't wear pants,
which may not seem relevant,
454
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,932
but it's something I have
to know, and now you do, too.
455
00:17:00,976 --> 00:17:02,499
SAMANTHA:
Anyhow, somehow,
456
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,197
he managed to create
a dating profile,
457
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,069
and th-the important part of
the story is, I see ghosts.
458
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,766
And besides Jay,
459
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:10,290
you're the only person
I've ever told.
460
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,466
I know this must be
461
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:15,077
difficult to believe, but
I sincerely hope you do.
462
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,513
Honestly, Sam,
463
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,211
get help.
464
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:22,258
JAY:
Bela.
465
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,782
Bela, hold up.
466
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:27,046
Look, I'm not crazy,
467
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,177
or-or at least
I'm not lying.
468
00:17:28,221 --> 00:17:30,136
And I can prove it.
Thor, lights.
469
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:31,354
Sam, chair!
470
00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:33,095
No, get the lights.
471
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,618
Oh, right, yes.
472
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,229
[grunts]
473
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,841
What was that?
474
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,451
Alberta, hum us a tune.
475
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:42,626
Oh, finally.
476
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:45,107
[humming melody]
477
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,891
[humming echoing]
478
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:52,288
Okay, that's a trick.
Secret switches, speakers.
479
00:17:52,332 --> 00:17:54,595
Isaac?Hmm? What?
Oh, uh, you know what?
480
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,249
No, I'll pass. Thank you.SAMANTHA:
Isaac,
481
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:58,077
please.Fine.
482
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,819
[Isaac grunts]
483
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:04,474
Oh! That is nasty.
484
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,346
Okay, it's no picnic
for me, either.BELA: Okay,
485
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,782
what is happening?
486
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,218
You just met
some of the ghosts.
487
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:12,352
I can tell you
what's in your bag. Pete.
488
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:16,617
PETE:
We got a pair of hiking boots.SAMANTHA: A pair
489
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:18,923
of hiking boots. A beanie.
490
00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:20,708
PETE:
Three unread back issues
491
00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,057
of The New Yorker.SAMANTHA:
Three unread back issues
492
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,667
of The New Yorker.
And-- I'm just saying this
493
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,408
to prove a point--
a personal massager.
494
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,976
Oh, why you got to tell me that?
495
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:29,717
How many fingers
am I holding up?
496
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,634
Three.
497
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,766
Holy crap.
498
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,073
You can see ghosts?
499
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,467
What is personal massager?
500
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:46,125
BELA:
So, ghosts don't eat,
501
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,169
but they sleep?
502
00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:48,388
And they don't go
to the bathroom?
503
00:18:48,431 --> 00:18:50,651
Then what about... you know?
504
00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:52,479
Yeah, surprisingly,
that one's a yes.
505
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,089
BELA:
Wow. And, like,
506
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,960
could a ghost do it
with a human?
507
00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,962
[gasps] No. You know what?
I'm not there yet.
508
00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,313
Please don't tell anyone
about this, Bela.
509
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,618
Your secret's safe with me.
510
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,098
Hey,
511
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,753
am I really the only one
you've told besides Jay?
512
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,233
Yeah.BELA:
Wow,
513
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,757
I can't believe that.
That really means a lot.
514
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:12,760
Kind of makes me feel really
close to you. [chuckles softly]
515
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:13,804
Is that stupid?
516
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,328
No, I don't think that's stupid.
517
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:17,199
You know, I always
kind of wanted a sister.
518
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,375
Instead, all I got
was this dork.
519
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,464
She made me wear a
dress till I was five.
520
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:22,900
Did you say "sister"?
521
00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:24,772
Yeah,
don't be an idiot about it.
522
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:27,731
Don't yoube an idiot about it.[laughs]: Okay.
523
00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:29,385
Jay, I'm doing
sister banter.
524
00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:30,691
[chuckles]Nice work, babe.
525
00:19:30,734 --> 00:19:32,867
TREVOR:
I'd like to say goodbye
526
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,347
to Bela if I could.
527
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,305
I don't think anybody wants
to hear from you.
528
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:37,915
What?JAY:
Oh, it's a ghost thing.
529
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,308
You'll get used
to it pretty fast.
530
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,223
Trevor's here.
He wants a word.
531
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,530
It's okay.
I'm willing to hear him out.
532
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:44,792
SAMANTHA:
Really?
533
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:46,228
Fine.
534
00:19:46,272 --> 00:19:47,708
JAY:
Okay, this is gonna be awkward for me,
535
00:19:47,751 --> 00:19:49,057
so I'm gonna leave the
three of you to it.
536
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,277
Or however many
of you there are.
537
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,236
Okay, Trevor, this
better be good.
538
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,195
Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you.
539
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,414
"Bela, I'm sorry I lied to you."
540
00:19:58,458 --> 00:20:01,200
TREVOR:
But the connection that we had, that wasn't a lie.
541
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:03,593
I meant every word that I said.
542
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:06,205
"I do love your eyes
543
00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:07,945
and your smile."
544
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,251
And your boobs.
545
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,211
You forgot the boobs.SAMANTHA:
Nope.
546
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,603
Just keep going.
547
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,780
I talk a big game,
548
00:20:16,824 --> 00:20:18,434
but the truth is,
549
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:21,089
I really did want to find
someone to spend my life with,
550
00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:23,352
and I didn't.
551
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:26,181
Life is way too short.
552
00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:27,878
I used to think that was
553
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:30,229
a dumb thing that people said,
but it's really true.
554
00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:34,711
Go find yourself someone
who's as incredible as you.
555
00:20:36,496 --> 00:20:38,280
Because that's what you deserve.
556
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,151
"Because that's
what you deserve."
557
00:20:41,152 --> 00:20:42,763
Thank you, Trevor.
558
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:44,286
Also, please send nudes.
559
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,461
And we're done.
560
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:50,061
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