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1
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,235
"Resfeber.
2
00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:42,324
Swedish.
3
00:00:43,368 --> 00:00:46,197
The restless race
of the traveler's heart
4
00:00:46,241 --> 00:00:48,373
before the journey begins,
5
00:00:48,417 --> 00:00:51,551
when anxiety and anticipation
are entangled.
6
00:00:53,248 --> 00:00:55,293
As I packed my bags,
7
00:00:55,337 --> 00:00:58,470
my resfebersurged
at full-throttle,
8
00:00:58,514 --> 00:01:03,780
elevating the smallest decisions
into epoch-making significance.
9
00:01:03,824 --> 00:01:07,871
The choice between sneakers
or flats was lent gravity
10
00:01:07,915 --> 00:01:11,092
usually reserved for
matters of national security."
11
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:46,404
Just catch some good sleep.
12
00:02:46,448 --> 00:02:48,885
I won't sleep tonight,
I'm too nervous.
13
00:02:48,929 --> 00:02:51,453
- That's justresfeber .
- It's what?
14
00:02:51,496 --> 00:02:54,108
Resfeber, a Swedish word.
15
00:02:54,151 --> 00:02:56,850
It's when you're about
to travel, and you're anxious,
16
00:02:56,893 --> 00:02:59,548
but excited
about the journey ahead.
17
00:02:59,591 --> 00:03:02,594
- Oh, nice to know I'm not alone.
- Enjoy your stay.
18
00:03:02,638 --> 00:03:04,118
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
19
00:03:10,037 --> 00:03:10,907
Sorry.
20
00:03:12,779 --> 00:03:15,303
Buonasera,madam,
welcome to the Ramada Venice.
21
00:03:15,346 --> 00:03:17,958
Hello, I have a reservation
for three nights,
22
00:03:18,001 --> 00:03:20,221
under the name of Jovana Fey,
with a J.
23
00:03:20,264 --> 00:03:21,004
Thank you.
24
00:03:29,883 --> 00:03:31,885
Madam I'm afraid
your booking was canceled.
25
00:03:33,016 --> 00:03:36,019
That's not possible.
Is your manager here?
26
00:03:36,063 --> 00:03:36,890
That's me.
27
00:03:39,283 --> 00:03:40,458
Perhaps you need to make a call?
28
00:03:57,214 --> 00:03:58,781
This is Alec.
29
00:03:58,825 --> 00:04:01,784
Alec, it's Jovana, um,
30
00:04:01,828 --> 00:04:03,133
I just went to check in
31
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,569
at the Ramada Venice,
32
00:04:04,613 --> 00:04:06,615
and the reservation
was canceled.
33
00:04:06,658 --> 00:04:07,703
Do you know what's happening?
34
00:04:08,835 --> 00:04:10,880
- Amber!
- What?
35
00:04:10,924 --> 00:04:13,274
Tell me you rang Jovana Fey.
36
00:04:13,317 --> 00:04:15,145
I told you I called her
and I left a message.
37
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,930
She says she called
and left you a message.
38
00:04:16,973 --> 00:04:20,324
Um, that's impossible,
I don't use message bank.
39
00:04:20,368 --> 00:04:21,978
She says she doesn't
use message bank.
40
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:25,895
Jovana is the Bengali
refugee, right?
41
00:04:25,939 --> 00:04:28,289
No, Amber, that's Yolotzyn.
42
00:04:34,948 --> 00:04:36,514
I should have called you myself.
43
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,563
And I've been so busy packing
that I forgot to chase you up.
44
00:04:41,606 --> 00:04:42,433
Packing?
45
00:04:43,957 --> 00:04:45,697
Alec, you're scaring me,
what was the message?
46
00:04:48,048 --> 00:04:49,527
Jovana,
47
00:04:49,571 --> 00:04:51,703
I've gone bankrupt.
48
00:04:51,747 --> 00:04:54,619
- What?
- When we agreed
to publish your book
49
00:04:54,663 --> 00:04:56,752
we were already on thin ice,
50
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:59,059
but were hoping the tides
would turn,
51
00:04:59,102 --> 00:05:01,757
but it never happened,
we're finished, I'm sorry.
52
00:05:03,672 --> 00:05:06,109
Alec,
my novel was released yesterday.
53
00:05:06,153 --> 00:05:07,981
I've just arrived in Venice.
54
00:05:08,024 --> 00:05:09,591
I have a three week tour ahead
55
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,680
to publicize this damn
thing across Europe,
56
00:05:11,723 --> 00:05:13,160
and you're telling me this now?
57
00:05:16,946 --> 00:05:18,948
What are you doing?
Are you typing?
58
00:05:18,992 --> 00:05:21,298
-Speak to me!
-I'm sending you an email.
59
00:05:21,342 --> 00:05:23,648
All rights to
Don't Read This On A Plane
60
00:05:23,692 --> 00:05:27,783
have reverted to you,
effective immediately.
61
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,133
The book stores
at which you'll be speaking
62
00:05:30,177 --> 00:05:32,832
have already bought
and received their copies.
63
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:35,443
It's your decision
whether to reprint,
64
00:05:35,486 --> 00:05:39,534
whether through a vanity press,
or different publisher,
or online.
65
00:05:39,577 --> 00:05:42,232
All your hotel bookings
have been canceled,
66
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:43,930
because they were payable
upon check-in.
67
00:05:43,973 --> 00:05:46,280
But we did pre-purchase
your flights,
68
00:05:46,323 --> 00:05:49,500
so you can still do
the tour if you like.
69
00:05:49,544 --> 00:05:51,241
You'll just need to pay
for your own taxis,
70
00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:53,591
food, accommodation, promotion,
71
00:05:53,635 --> 00:05:57,073
insurance, communications,
and miscellaneous expenses.
72
00:05:57,117 --> 00:06:00,947
Oh, the Greeks did insist on
upfront payment for your driver.
73
00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:03,819
Uh, nothing
like a collapsed economy
74
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,604
to spark a bit
of entrepreneurial spirit.
75
00:06:06,648 --> 00:06:08,911
Alec, I don't have
a cent to my name,
76
00:06:08,955 --> 00:06:11,044
what use is a bunch of flights?
77
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:14,438
What about your husband?
Doesn't he work on an oil rig?
78
00:06:14,482 --> 00:06:16,484
Those guys bring home the bacon!
79
00:06:16,527 --> 00:06:18,399
He took a pay cut
to keep his job.
80
00:06:18,442 --> 00:06:20,880
He can barely afford
his share of rent.
81
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:22,229
Jovana,
82
00:06:22,272 --> 00:06:23,970
I apologize profusely.
83
00:06:25,493 --> 00:06:27,669
Maybe this is for the best. Hm?
84
00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:30,367
I am stranded
85
00:06:30,411 --> 00:06:32,456
and penniless, Alec.
86
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:35,546
So, how could this
possibly be for the best?
87
00:07:07,796 --> 00:07:09,493
-Name?
-Jovana Fey--
88
00:07:10,364 --> 00:07:11,104
With a J.
89
00:08:07,812 --> 00:08:09,162
-It is possible.
-No, it's not.
90
00:08:09,205 --> 00:08:12,295
-No, it is.
-No, no, no, it's impossible.
91
00:08:12,339 --> 00:08:14,471
If we don't know
what dark matter is,
92
00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:16,386
how can we picture it?
93
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:17,779
Okay, think about it like this.
94
00:08:17,822 --> 00:08:21,000
Think of a man
blind from birth, right?
95
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,393
He knows that he's blind,
but he has no concept
96
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:25,091
of what sight actually is.
97
00:08:25,134 --> 00:08:27,571
Is it like hearing, taste,
98
00:08:27,615 --> 00:08:30,748
touch, balance, or temperature?
99
00:08:30,792 --> 00:08:32,881
Right? Then one day,
he undergoes
100
00:08:32,924 --> 00:08:34,970
a revolutionary form
of optical surgery.
101
00:08:36,102 --> 00:08:37,625
They take off the bandages,
102
00:08:37,668 --> 00:08:39,931
and just like that,
he can see the world.
103
00:08:39,975 --> 00:08:44,110
And sight; the perception
of shapes, colors, patterns,
104
00:08:44,153 --> 00:08:47,026
and textures, is like nothing
he could have ever imagined.
105
00:08:47,069 --> 00:08:48,462
That is how
dark matter will be to us.
106
00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:50,290
We know that it's everywhere,
107
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:51,900
we can detect
its gravitational effects,
108
00:08:51,943 --> 00:08:54,250
yet, we can't observe it, and...
109
00:08:54,294 --> 00:08:57,340
one day, in the near future,
we'll unlock its mystery.
110
00:08:57,384 --> 00:09:00,604
And then we'll be like the blind
man who can finally see.
111
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:02,650
Or it's a parallel reality,
112
00:09:02,693 --> 00:09:04,608
a civilization
more evolved than us.
113
00:09:04,652 --> 00:09:06,001
And they're
watching us masturbate.
114
00:09:07,916 --> 00:09:10,571
Excuse me,
have you finished with the jam?
115
00:09:10,614 --> 00:09:12,312
-All yours.
-Thanks.
116
00:09:12,355 --> 00:09:15,141
Are you enjoying
Comfy Bed Hostel?
117
00:09:15,184 --> 00:09:17,404
Uh, my back has had better days,
118
00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:19,493
but I hope they've spiked
the jam with aspirin.
119
00:09:19,536 --> 00:09:21,147
Yeah, last time I was moafing
120
00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:23,236
I slept on a yoga mat
on the floor,
121
00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:24,802
that was more comfy than here.
122
00:09:24,846 --> 00:09:26,021
Moafing?
123
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,241
Moaf, M-O-A-F,
124
00:09:28,284 --> 00:09:29,590
it means "Mattress On A Floor,"
125
00:09:29,633 --> 00:09:30,808
it's a network of travelers
126
00:09:30,852 --> 00:09:32,114
who'll let you crash for free.
127
00:09:32,158 --> 00:09:33,420
Sometimes you get a couch,
128
00:09:33,463 --> 00:09:34,899
sometimes a hammock.
129
00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:36,684
Sometimes even a bed!
130
00:10:26,255 --> 00:10:28,997
-Ciao,Jovana.
-Oh, ciao,Adamo!
131
00:10:30,477 --> 00:10:32,305
-Lovely to meet you, finally.
-Oh, likewise.
132
00:10:32,348 --> 00:10:34,263
How was the hotel?
133
00:10:34,307 --> 00:10:35,612
Hmm.
134
00:10:35,656 --> 00:10:37,875
You stayed at the Ramada
if I recall?
135
00:10:37,919 --> 00:10:38,789
Yes!
136
00:10:40,313 --> 00:10:42,141
Living the dream.
Come on, let's go.
137
00:10:43,054 --> 00:10:43,881
Oh, leave it there.
138
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,149
"Breeding with the faraway tribe
139
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:53,500
brings healthier offspring,
she knows subconsciously.
140
00:10:53,543 --> 00:10:55,589
My low-cut top seals the deal.
141
00:10:57,330 --> 00:11:00,681
We barely shout a word
before our mouths lock,
142
00:11:00,724 --> 00:11:02,813
grinding thigh to crotch.
143
00:11:02,857 --> 00:11:06,339
I take her hand, lead her
through a gyrating throng.
144
00:11:06,382 --> 00:11:07,514
Past security.
145
00:11:07,557 --> 00:11:09,516
Past double-stacked beer barrels
146
00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:11,474
and broken blue milk crates."
147
00:11:11,518 --> 00:11:14,173
You need to turn
left at Calle Lunga!
148
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:17,219
You've crossed the wrong bridge!
You need to turn left--
149
00:11:17,263 --> 00:11:19,743
-Shh!
-Sorry!
150
00:11:19,787 --> 00:11:22,093
Hey, I've got to go.
Figure it out.
151
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,015
"Grass wet with midnight dew,
152
00:11:31,059 --> 00:11:34,280
her breath mist shines
yellow in the highway lamps.
153
00:11:34,323 --> 00:11:36,978
The playground's
primary colored pirate ship
154
00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:39,415
glows in a starry vodka haze.
155
00:11:39,459 --> 00:11:41,548
'My finger is wet.'
156
00:11:41,591 --> 00:11:43,419
She half protests.
157
00:11:43,463 --> 00:11:45,465
As I take a breather
from licking
158
00:11:45,508 --> 00:11:49,860
an 18 year old girl's ass and
pussy in a dimly-lit quadrangle,
159
00:11:49,904 --> 00:11:52,559
I glance down, and notice
160
00:11:52,602 --> 00:11:55,736
the freshly-chalked squares
of a hopscotch court."
161
00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:00,131
Grazie.
162
00:12:54,403 --> 00:12:57,624
And with a straight face,
the guide said,
163
00:12:57,667 --> 00:12:59,626
"For your information Madam,"
164
00:12:59,669 --> 00:13:03,847
"...I hear that
ten times a day."
165
00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:06,676
Wow, people need some fresh
impressionism jokes.
166
00:13:24,172 --> 00:13:25,782
There's plenty
of food in the fridge.
167
00:13:29,046 --> 00:13:31,745
- Buona notte.
- Make yourselves at home.
168
00:13:33,224 --> 00:13:34,617
Buona notte.
169
00:13:34,661 --> 00:13:35,923
Buona notte.
170
00:13:35,966 --> 00:13:37,446
Thank you so much for having me!
171
00:13:37,490 --> 00:13:38,447
Don't mention it.
172
00:14:11,698 --> 00:14:14,091
-Oui, allo?
-Hi, Jovana.
173
00:14:14,135 --> 00:14:16,746
It's Ksenia
from the Beehive Bookstore,
174
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,966
calling from Oradea, Romania.
175
00:14:19,009 --> 00:14:20,576
Do you have a moment to talk?
176
00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:23,449
Uh, yeah, sure, hi.
177
00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:26,365
Oh, I just realized
I didn't check the time there.
178
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:29,890
-Is it late?
-Um, it's midnight
here in Venice.
179
00:14:29,933 --> 00:14:32,849
Venice Beach, California, right?
180
00:14:32,893 --> 00:14:35,896
-Italy.
-Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
181
00:14:35,939 --> 00:14:37,898
For some reason
I thought you were in L.A.
182
00:14:37,941 --> 00:14:39,116
I'll call you another time.
183
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,292
No, it's okay,
I was still awake.
184
00:14:41,336 --> 00:14:43,120
Okay, I'll keep it brief.
185
00:14:43,164 --> 00:14:46,080
I wanted to confirm your reading at the Beehive Bookstore
186
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:49,257
here in Oradea
on the 28th of this month.
187
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,738
I'd like
to publicize it in advance.
188
00:14:51,781 --> 00:14:53,740
Yep, that's locked in.
189
00:14:53,783 --> 00:14:56,743
Great, I'll leave you
to sleep then.
190
00:14:56,786 --> 00:14:59,441
Um, while I have you,
191
00:14:59,485 --> 00:15:02,575
what type of publicity
were you thinking?
192
00:15:02,618 --> 00:15:06,970
Some online magazines, but mostly radio if that's okay?
193
00:15:07,014 --> 00:15:09,669
-Sounds good.
-Excellent.
194
00:15:09,712 --> 00:15:12,933
You have a beautiful voice,
so that'd be perfect.
195
00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:14,151
Oh, you think so?
196
00:15:14,195 --> 00:15:17,328
Definitely, it's mellifluous.
197
00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:24,510
You know, "mellifluous" is my
all-time favorite English word.
198
00:15:24,553 --> 00:15:27,034
-But it's not well-known.
-I know!
199
00:15:27,077 --> 00:15:29,428
I used to love "serendipity,"
200
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,517
then strippers started
tattooing it on their ankles.
201
00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:38,654
That's true! Another
nice word is "petrichor."
202
00:15:38,698 --> 00:15:41,091
Oh, my God, yes.
203
00:15:41,135 --> 00:15:44,312
The earthy scent
of rain falling on dry soil.
204
00:15:44,355 --> 00:15:46,793
Oh, my God, you're the first
person I've met to know that.
205
00:15:46,836 --> 00:15:48,838
Not that we've met, but,
you know what I mean?
206
00:15:50,057 --> 00:15:51,885
Am I really the first?
207
00:15:51,928 --> 00:15:52,799
Yes.
208
00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:57,543
I'm sorry Jovana,
I'm keeping you up.
209
00:15:57,586 --> 00:15:59,545
Thank you for
confirming the reading.
210
00:15:59,588 --> 00:16:02,722
If you have any other questions, just call.
211
00:16:02,765 --> 00:16:04,071
Perfect.
212
00:16:04,114 --> 00:16:05,725
Thanks, Ksenia, good night.
213
00:16:06,595 --> 00:16:07,466
Ciao!
214
00:16:25,092 --> 00:16:27,616
Django Reinhardt
invented hip hop 50 years
215
00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:29,313
before it officially
happened in the Bronx,
216
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,665
but there are no recordings.
217
00:16:32,708 --> 00:16:36,538
These French jazz guys would
improvise on the guitar, violin,
218
00:16:36,582 --> 00:16:39,802
the clarinet and then the
drummer would break into a solo.
219
00:16:41,021 --> 00:16:43,110
And then,
as legend would have it,
220
00:16:43,153 --> 00:16:46,287
they'd take turns
improvising rhymes.
221
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:47,636
We'd now call that rapping,
right?
222
00:16:48,594 --> 00:16:50,813
-Sure.
-Hm-mm.
223
00:16:50,857 --> 00:16:53,512
But the reason why
they never thought to record it,
224
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:56,602
-can you guess?
-I don't know.
225
00:16:56,645 --> 00:16:58,952
To them they were
only joking around.
226
00:17:00,606 --> 00:17:02,564
Think of that for a second.
227
00:17:02,608 --> 00:17:05,088
A multi-billion dollar industry,
228
00:17:05,132 --> 00:17:08,135
spanning decades,
with worldwide reach,
229
00:17:08,178 --> 00:17:10,964
could have started
fifty years earlier,
230
00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:12,835
on the other side of the world,
231
00:17:12,879 --> 00:17:15,142
if only one
guy pressed the button.
232
00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:19,407
But they didn't know
it was music.
233
00:17:21,844 --> 00:17:23,977
"They didn't know it was music."
234
00:17:29,852 --> 00:17:31,201
Sorry, I'm not being rude,
235
00:17:31,245 --> 00:17:33,203
I'm just going
to take a note of that.
236
00:17:34,465 --> 00:17:36,250
Are you a writer or something?
237
00:17:36,293 --> 00:17:37,468
Trying to be.
238
00:17:39,514 --> 00:17:42,648
-Ever published?
-Three novels.
239
00:17:42,691 --> 00:17:44,432
Wow!
240
00:17:44,475 --> 00:17:45,868
And you're hitching
through the rough,
241
00:17:45,912 --> 00:17:47,304
tough streets of Italy?
242
00:17:51,744 --> 00:17:52,658
Yep.
243
00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:02,493
Honey,
let me tell you something.
244
00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,410
It was my dream
as a kid to drive a truck.
245
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:10,632
All the boys
wanted to be footballers,
246
00:18:10,676 --> 00:18:13,809
the girls wanted
to be ballerinas.
247
00:18:13,853 --> 00:18:17,378
But when I saw
these big shiny beasts
248
00:18:17,421 --> 00:18:20,468
driving by my school,
I'd fantasize
249
00:18:20,511 --> 00:18:23,253
about being behind the wheel,
the road ahead,
250
00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:25,038
and ten tonnes behind me.
251
00:18:25,908 --> 00:18:29,259
And look at me now,
I'm living the dream.
252
00:18:29,303 --> 00:18:31,174
You really are.
253
00:18:31,218 --> 00:18:33,350
You're goddamn right I am.
254
00:18:33,394 --> 00:18:37,877
So, let's have some jazz baby.
255
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,095
Whoo!
256
00:19:30,451 --> 00:19:33,933
"...windswept and rugged,
where a middle-aged Indian man,
257
00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:37,588
frostbitten, with
crimson cheeks and cracked lips,
258
00:19:37,632 --> 00:19:40,026
held a single
thread of gnarled string
259
00:19:40,069 --> 00:19:42,724
attached to an upturned piano.
260
00:19:42,768 --> 00:19:45,727
He stared at it in frustration.
261
00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:49,731
Clearly, the piano
was an ineffective kite."
262
00:19:52,168 --> 00:19:56,564
"The credits rolled
as I cracked up laughing,
263
00:19:56,607 --> 00:19:59,741
the others clapping
in perplexed politeness.
264
00:20:01,308 --> 00:20:03,005
The Q&A was awkward.
265
00:20:04,006 --> 00:20:06,748
As Esme stood
blinded in the spotlight,
266
00:20:06,792 --> 00:20:09,011
I stared at her knee-high boots
267
00:20:09,055 --> 00:20:11,492
and the cheeky hint
of thigh they revealed.
268
00:20:11,535 --> 00:20:12,406
I raised my hand.
269
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,062
'What was your inspiration?'
I asked.
270
00:20:17,193 --> 00:20:19,108
'Good question,' she lied.
271
00:20:20,327 --> 00:20:22,677
I recognized that look.
272
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:26,768
The prolonged eye contact,
dilated pupils;
273
00:20:26,812 --> 00:20:30,380
I knew I'd soon gaze upon them
somewhere more comfortable,
274
00:20:30,424 --> 00:20:33,166
her flat mate watching T.V.
in the next room,
275
00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:36,038
superheroes shaking
walls with subwoofers,
276
00:20:36,082 --> 00:20:40,042
conveniently disguising
the ebbs and flows of two girls
277
00:20:40,086 --> 00:20:43,698
making getting-to-know-you
sounds amongst ruffled sheets,
278
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,961
the rough threads
of exposed mattress,
279
00:20:46,005 --> 00:20:47,702
and the sickly-sweet cocktail
280
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,184
of girl sweat and insufficient
air conditioning.
281
00:20:51,227 --> 00:20:56,276
The ineffective kite
was one effective lure."
282
00:21:00,106 --> 00:21:01,847
Thank you so much Jovana,
283
00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:03,674
does anyone have any questions?
284
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:05,546
Yes?
285
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:09,550
Hmm.
286
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:17,210
Thank you so much, Jovana.
287
00:21:18,864 --> 00:21:20,169
You're welcome.
288
00:21:20,213 --> 00:21:21,823
The girl with the red headband
289
00:21:21,867 --> 00:21:22,911
asked me to give you this.
290
00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:31,224
Are you off to your hotel now?
291
00:21:32,573 --> 00:21:33,879
Yes,
292
00:21:33,922 --> 00:21:34,923
the Ramada.
293
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,100
There is a Ramada in Porto?
294
00:21:38,144 --> 00:21:39,928
Uh-huh, it's new.
295
00:22:12,569 --> 00:22:16,051
♪ My heart
296
00:22:16,095 --> 00:22:22,362
♪ Oh, sweet, is there forever
297
00:22:24,625 --> 00:22:28,803
♪ It thrills
298
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:33,286
♪ With love for thee alone
299
00:22:36,376 --> 00:22:38,073
...A lot of people
are religious, sure,
300
00:22:38,117 --> 00:22:39,640
but nobody cares if you're not.
301
00:22:39,683 --> 00:22:41,685
But if you confessed
in Eastern Sighisoara
302
00:22:41,729 --> 00:22:43,513
that you don't believe
in God, oh,
303
00:22:43,557 --> 00:22:46,255
it's like saying you don't
believe in gravity or something.
304
00:22:50,651 --> 00:22:52,435
Oh, sorry,
do you mind if I take this?
305
00:22:52,479 --> 00:22:54,350
-Of course.
-No, sure, take it.
306
00:22:57,310 --> 00:22:58,702
-Alec?
-Jovana,
307
00:22:58,746 --> 00:23:01,096
look, there's something
you should know.
308
00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:04,491
In today's
Luxembourg Daily News,
309
00:23:04,534 --> 00:23:07,189
there was an article about
a woman reading your book
310
00:23:07,233 --> 00:23:09,061
on a Luxair flight.
311
00:23:09,104 --> 00:23:12,716
Um, she was questioned by
security when she touched down.
312
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:15,328
Yeah, and then what?
313
00:23:15,371 --> 00:23:17,025
Well, nothing,
314
00:23:17,069 --> 00:23:19,506
it turned out to be just a book,
so they let her go.
315
00:23:19,549 --> 00:23:22,248
But I thought it was
great publicity for you.
316
00:23:22,291 --> 00:23:23,553
Thanks for letting me know,
317
00:23:23,597 --> 00:23:25,164
but I doubt the Luxembourg press
318
00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:26,643
will raise its profile much.
319
00:23:27,818 --> 00:23:29,037
Which language was it in?
320
00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:31,692
Uh, what language,
321
00:23:31,735 --> 00:23:34,695
Amber, what language
was that article in?
322
00:23:34,738 --> 00:23:36,001
Luxembourgish.
323
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:39,352
Luxembourgish.
324
00:23:40,353 --> 00:23:41,049
Right.
325
00:23:45,010 --> 00:23:47,926
Per capita Luxembourgians
are the second richest
326
00:23:47,969 --> 00:23:50,232
people in the world,
second only to Qatar.
327
00:23:50,276 --> 00:23:53,192
I dare say they can afford
your book, Jovana.
328
00:23:53,235 --> 00:23:56,978
That's not the issue,
a book is hardly a Rolex.
329
00:23:57,022 --> 00:23:59,894
Granted, but expense
is less of a barrier
330
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:04,072
than ignorance, or dare I say,
apathy.
331
00:24:04,116 --> 00:24:06,857
This is publicity,
this is a good start!
332
00:24:07,902 --> 00:24:09,599
Anyway, I've got to run.
333
00:24:09,643 --> 00:24:12,733
Oh, okay, ciaofor now, Jovana.
334
00:24:12,776 --> 00:24:13,821
Ciao.
335
00:24:24,919 --> 00:24:27,530
Thanking you, I'll get you
to sign here, thanks, mate.
336
00:24:29,097 --> 00:24:31,360
So, uh, Jovana,
you mentioned your husband
337
00:24:31,404 --> 00:24:33,493
was an oil rig worker, right?
338
00:24:33,536 --> 00:24:34,624
Uh-huh.
339
00:24:34,668 --> 00:24:35,843
How do you cope with him
340
00:24:35,886 --> 00:24:37,932
being away so often?
341
00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:41,936
The hardest thing is
that the rig is very remote,
342
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:44,243
so there's
no cell phone reception,
343
00:24:44,286 --> 00:24:46,158
and only senior staff
have internet,
344
00:24:46,201 --> 00:24:49,465
so usually we can chat
on the satellite phone,
345
00:24:49,509 --> 00:24:51,902
but last week their receiver
was damaged in a storm,
346
00:24:51,946 --> 00:24:54,905
and the repairman
only flies in next month.
347
00:24:54,949 --> 00:24:59,606
So, I'll have a crackly-sounding
husband for a while.
348
00:24:59,649 --> 00:25:02,565
But otherwise,
do you make it work?
349
00:25:02,609 --> 00:25:05,568
Well, all things considered,
350
00:25:05,612 --> 00:25:07,831
it's the best arrangement
I could hope for.
351
00:25:08,745 --> 00:25:11,531
He's on the rig for 28 days,
then home for 28,
352
00:25:11,574 --> 00:25:13,837
then away for 28,
then home for 28.
353
00:25:13,881 --> 00:25:18,277
It's not for everyone,
but for us it's perfect.
354
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,628
Every time he returns,
we jump each other.
355
00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:25,501
It's like
he's been away for a year,
356
00:25:25,545 --> 00:25:28,026
and we barely leave
the bedroom all day.
357
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:31,942
For the next few weeks
we eat at cheap restaurants,
358
00:25:31,986 --> 00:25:34,075
snuggle up on the couch,
359
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,295
buy olives at the market,
360
00:25:36,338 --> 00:25:38,688
holding hands like teenagers.
361
00:25:39,950 --> 00:25:42,170
And before he leaves,
362
00:25:42,214 --> 00:25:45,391
there's always
that bitter-sweet sorrow.
363
00:25:46,609 --> 00:25:48,568
But the weeks go quickly,
364
00:25:48,611 --> 00:25:50,048
and soon we're together again.
365
00:25:51,527 --> 00:25:52,963
I don't know
any other way to live.
366
00:25:55,227 --> 00:25:56,880
Honey,
I think that could work for us.
367
00:25:58,012 --> 00:25:59,448
Irina, I agree.
368
00:25:59,492 --> 00:26:01,015
You need to find
work on an oil rig!
369
00:26:37,617 --> 00:26:38,705
Kitchen.
370
00:26:38,748 --> 00:26:40,837
Hola, Rafael, it's Jovana.
371
00:26:40,881 --> 00:26:43,275
Uh, can I please speak to Theo?
372
00:26:43,318 --> 00:26:45,538
Oi, Theo! It's your lady.
373
00:26:47,235 --> 00:26:48,236
Bonjour, Baby Doll!
374
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,282
Hola, mon amour!
375
00:26:50,325 --> 00:26:53,241
Baby, we're about to dish up,
can I call you back in an hour?
376
00:26:53,285 --> 00:26:54,547
Um...
377
00:26:54,590 --> 00:26:55,852
It's okay, I'm about to sleep,
378
00:26:55,896 --> 00:26:57,419
I just wanted
to hear your voice.
379
00:26:58,942 --> 00:27:00,422
Hey, what's wrong?
380
00:27:00,466 --> 00:27:01,554
You sound a little down.
381
00:27:01,597 --> 00:27:03,860
Um, the bad news
382
00:27:03,904 --> 00:27:06,298
is that Alec
went out of business.
383
00:27:06,341 --> 00:27:08,213
But the good news is
people are talking
384
00:27:08,256 --> 00:27:09,257
about the book in the press.
385
00:27:13,609 --> 00:27:15,176
Baby, I'm sorry,
I can't hear you,
386
00:27:15,220 --> 00:27:17,526
the line's terrible,
this goddamn satellite dish.
387
00:27:18,701 --> 00:27:21,400
Why the hell can't they charter
a chopper for the repairman?
388
00:27:21,443 --> 00:27:24,229
- Cheap bastards, first they cut our pay and now this shit?
- -Theo, listen.
389
00:27:24,272 --> 00:27:26,579
The publisher
went out of business.
390
00:27:26,622 --> 00:27:28,581
I am running out
of money very quickly
391
00:27:28,624 --> 00:27:30,539
and you know we cannot
get a credit card
392
00:27:30,583 --> 00:27:32,237
after the rent fiasco.
393
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,414
What?
394
00:27:36,806 --> 00:27:39,418
Baby, I can't hear, can I call
you back in an hour? I'm sorry.
395
00:27:40,375 --> 00:27:42,682
I need to sleep anyway,
we, we can try again soon.
396
00:27:42,725 --> 00:27:45,206
Wait, what?
397
00:27:45,250 --> 00:27:47,469
I said we--
398
00:27:47,513 --> 00:27:48,253
Fuck!
399
00:27:49,602 --> 00:27:50,342
Jovana!
400
00:32:55,385 --> 00:32:56,996
"The longest time I'd spent
401
00:32:57,039 --> 00:32:59,302
between meeting, meeting
a girl for the first time
402
00:32:59,346 --> 00:33:00,652
and eating her pussy
403
00:33:00,695 --> 00:33:01,740
was 18 years;
404
00:33:03,698 --> 00:33:05,744
I met Katherine at school,
405
00:33:05,787 --> 00:33:08,137
but we didn't get
together until we were 30.
406
00:33:09,225 --> 00:33:11,140
The shortest time was with Bree,
407
00:33:12,185 --> 00:33:14,013
it took seconds.
408
00:33:14,056 --> 00:33:15,580
We'd chatted online for weeks,
409
00:33:15,623 --> 00:33:17,886
and messages turned flirty,
410
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,149
then dirty.
411
00:33:21,673 --> 00:33:24,719
Upon our earliest face-to-face
meeting at my doorstep,
412
00:33:24,763 --> 00:33:28,680
we were kissing
with frenzied passion
413
00:33:29,594 --> 00:33:31,204
before she'd laid down
her purse.
414
00:33:36,383 --> 00:33:38,167
I took her hand,
415
00:33:38,211 --> 00:33:39,865
led her into my room,
416
00:33:39,908 --> 00:33:42,781
and before
a single minute had passed,
417
00:33:42,824 --> 00:33:45,740
I lifted her skirt,
and plunged my tongue
418
00:33:45,784 --> 00:33:48,526
deep inside her dripping,
wet cunt."
419
00:34:08,328 --> 00:34:09,416
What's up, hungry homies?
420
00:34:09,459 --> 00:34:10,722
Theo and ol' Raphael here
421
00:34:10,765 --> 00:34:11,766
busy cooking up the best
422
00:34:11,810 --> 00:34:13,028
honey-smoked mackerel
423
00:34:13,072 --> 00:34:13,942
in this side of Soho.
424
00:34:13,986 --> 00:34:15,074
Leave us a message!
425
00:34:33,266 --> 00:34:36,486
Oh, hi, Jovana, what a lovely
surprise, how are you?
426
00:34:36,530 --> 00:34:38,140
I'm well, thanks, Ksenia.
427
00:34:38,184 --> 00:34:40,055
My flight's delayed, so
428
00:34:40,099 --> 00:34:41,753
I thought I'd just run
something by you,
429
00:34:41,796 --> 00:34:42,928
do you have a moment?
430
00:34:42,971 --> 00:34:45,365
Um, sure! Go ahead.
431
00:34:45,408 --> 00:34:48,586
Yeah, uh,
about the radio interview,
432
00:34:48,629 --> 00:34:51,501
I was, uh, wondering, um,
433
00:34:51,545 --> 00:34:52,720
-Yes?
-Yes.
434
00:34:52,764 --> 00:34:54,504
I was wondering, uh,
435
00:34:54,548 --> 00:34:56,768
what is the expected audience?
436
00:34:56,811 --> 00:35:01,903
Do they want short snappy
anecdotes, or deep analysis?
437
00:35:01,947 --> 00:35:04,950
A bit of both,
anyone who reads books really.
438
00:35:04,993 --> 00:35:06,516
Oh, great, okay.
439
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,997
Also, I wanted to know, um...
440
00:35:09,998 --> 00:35:11,347
Yes?
441
00:35:11,391 --> 00:35:14,220
Okay, I confess,
I just rang to talk,
442
00:35:14,263 --> 00:35:16,396
but that's socially unacceptable
443
00:35:16,439 --> 00:35:19,007
after about age 14,
so I said the radio thing.
444
00:35:19,051 --> 00:35:22,663
Oh, silly,
you can ring me to talk!
445
00:35:22,707 --> 00:35:25,361
Yeah? Really?
You don't think that's awkward?
446
00:35:25,405 --> 00:35:27,668
Not in the slightest,
it's nice actually,
447
00:35:27,712 --> 00:35:30,018
I can hear
your mellifluous voice.
448
00:35:30,062 --> 00:35:33,456
You know,
when you said the other day
449
00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:35,284
that you liked my voice,
I was too shy
450
00:35:35,328 --> 00:35:36,851
to return the compliment.
451
00:35:37,896 --> 00:35:39,680
Sorry, Jovana, I've got
to deal with something here,
452
00:35:39,724 --> 00:35:40,594
Can we chat later?
453
00:35:40,638 --> 00:35:42,770
Oh, oh, okay.
454
00:35:42,814 --> 00:35:45,468
-Enjoy your galivanting.
-Galivanting?
455
00:35:45,512 --> 00:35:47,470
Why you know
all the best words.
456
00:35:47,514 --> 00:35:49,211
I really must go, bye.
457
00:35:49,255 --> 00:35:50,822
Okay, okay, sure, yes, okay.
458
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:45,833
"So for the first time
in a year,
459
00:36:45,877 --> 00:36:49,228
I stepped inside an actual
brick and mortar post office.
460
00:36:49,271 --> 00:36:51,360
With a door and a queue.
461
00:36:51,404 --> 00:36:53,319
And a randomly curated
assortment
462
00:36:53,362 --> 00:36:56,235
of overpriced stuffed toys
in red Christmas hats.
463
00:36:58,063 --> 00:37:00,761
In my early days
as an aspiring writer,
464
00:37:00,805 --> 00:37:04,112
I'd post something
to someone somewhere daily.
465
00:37:04,156 --> 00:37:08,116
I'd lick a small rectangle
covered with sweet adhesive gum,
466
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:11,772
and attach it to a larger
white rectangle.
467
00:37:11,816 --> 00:37:14,296
This ritual went unquestioned.
468
00:37:14,340 --> 00:37:16,037
A mere two decades later,
469
00:37:16,081 --> 00:37:17,996
it seems like something
my great grandmother
470
00:37:18,039 --> 00:37:20,041
would have done
between milking a cow
471
00:37:20,085 --> 00:37:21,956
and sewing her own napkins.
472
00:37:22,870 --> 00:37:26,482
A woman next to me
held a large cardboard box.
473
00:37:26,526 --> 00:37:28,920
She was top-heavy
like an improper fraction,
474
00:37:28,963 --> 00:37:31,400
with long burgundy hair,
475
00:37:31,444 --> 00:37:33,315
and fingernails a shade
I'd later learn
476
00:37:33,359 --> 00:37:36,492
was called 'Profondo Rosso.'
477
00:37:36,536 --> 00:37:39,365
Her faint,
cheeky smile was familiar
478
00:37:39,408 --> 00:37:42,934
yet distant somehow, like
viewing a Mona Lisaphotocopy
479
00:37:42,977 --> 00:37:44,805
from across a smoky room.
480
00:37:45,937 --> 00:37:47,547
She had a pen.
481
00:37:47,590 --> 00:37:49,767
I asked if I could borrow it.
482
00:37:49,810 --> 00:37:52,813
That night we ate
Hokkien Meein Chinatown,
483
00:37:52,857 --> 00:37:56,643
and drank 2-for-1 Tsingtao
beers in a karaoke bar,
484
00:37:56,686 --> 00:37:58,036
the buzz of attraction
485
00:37:58,079 --> 00:38:01,300
adding zest
to mass-market mouthwash.
486
00:38:01,343 --> 00:38:04,825
By midnight, we were like
circus contortionists,
487
00:38:04,869 --> 00:38:06,871
devouring each other
on the back seat
488
00:38:06,914 --> 00:38:09,830
of her Hello Kitty-upholstered
Daihatsu Mira,
489
00:38:09,874 --> 00:38:12,485
serenaded by Christmas
songs on endless repeat
490
00:38:12,528 --> 00:38:14,661
in the Westfield carpark.
491
00:38:14,704 --> 00:38:18,621
To this day, I can't smell
Calvin Klein Euphoria
492
00:38:18,665 --> 00:38:21,146
without Rudolph
the Red-Nosed Reindeer
493
00:38:21,189 --> 00:38:22,538
dashing through my head."
494
00:38:23,844 --> 00:38:24,932
Danke.
495
00:38:29,197 --> 00:38:30,808
The cabbie rolls down
his window and yells,
496
00:38:30,851 --> 00:38:34,420
"Oi, knob face!
She's too fucking tall for ya!"
497
00:38:42,471 --> 00:38:43,646
It's on me pimps.
498
00:38:43,690 --> 00:38:45,648
-Danke schoön.
-Danke.
499
00:38:45,692 --> 00:38:47,302
You're not having
a beer, Francis?
500
00:38:47,346 --> 00:38:49,391
No, I only drink beer
in the shower.
501
00:38:49,435 --> 00:38:50,871
What?
502
00:38:50,915 --> 00:38:54,440
Hot water, cold brew. Tight.
503
00:38:56,485 --> 00:38:58,226
So, Jovana,
in real life do you...
504
00:39:00,881 --> 00:39:01,882
Do I?
505
00:39:03,405 --> 00:39:05,755
...um, drink Tsingtaobeer?
506
00:39:05,799 --> 00:39:08,671
Or was that just fiction?
507
00:39:08,715 --> 00:39:10,630
Are you really
asking me about beer?
508
00:39:22,947 --> 00:39:24,905
Yeah!
509
00:39:32,478 --> 00:39:37,526
♪ Don't worry girl
you don't have to wake up ♪
510
00:39:37,570 --> 00:39:41,748
♪ Don't worry girl
I'll leave tonight ♪
511
00:39:56,545 --> 00:39:59,374
- Like a fucking pimp!
- Yeah!
512
00:40:00,941 --> 00:40:02,551
Okay, your turn, pick a country.
513
00:40:02,595 --> 00:40:05,641
Um, let's see,
514
00:40:05,685 --> 00:40:07,905
the Dominican Republic!
515
00:40:07,948 --> 00:40:10,255
-Nice, now pick
a kitchen utensil.
-Ah!
516
00:40:11,386 --> 00:40:13,867
-Salt shaker!
-Perfect!
517
00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:17,001
"The Dominican Salt Shaker"!
518
00:40:17,044 --> 00:40:19,917
Ah, okay, but how do you do it?
519
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,570
Ooh, okay, uh, let's see.
520
00:40:21,614 --> 00:40:25,357
Maybe you cum in her ass,
then shake dandruff on her face!
521
00:40:27,925 --> 00:40:29,491
Your turn, country?
522
00:40:29,535 --> 00:40:30,971
Um, Bulgaria.
523
00:40:31,015 --> 00:40:32,712
Kitchen utensil?
524
00:40:32,755 --> 00:40:33,843
Spatula.
525
00:40:33,887 --> 00:40:35,976
The Bulgarian Spatula!
526
00:40:41,025 --> 00:40:46,030
Ah, thank you so much Francis,
for the lift
527
00:40:46,073 --> 00:40:48,032
and for taking care of the bill.
528
00:40:48,075 --> 00:40:50,512
- No problem.
- Come on.
529
00:40:52,036 --> 00:40:54,864
What? What are you doing?
530
00:40:54,908 --> 00:40:57,258
-Come on, no!
-Shh!
531
00:40:57,302 --> 00:41:01,436
-No, what the fuck!
-Come on, baby.
532
00:41:31,814 --> 00:41:33,555
And that's the tour.
533
00:41:33,599 --> 00:41:35,557
Remote controls are over there.
534
00:41:35,601 --> 00:41:37,951
You seem smart. I'm pretty sure
you can work them out.
535
00:41:39,822 --> 00:41:41,911
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
536
00:41:41,955 --> 00:41:43,261
If you're afraid of dogs,
I assure you
537
00:41:43,304 --> 00:41:45,959
Tom's less dangerous
than a kitchen sponge.
538
00:41:46,003 --> 00:41:47,221
Eat whatever's in the fridge,
539
00:41:47,265 --> 00:41:48,570
there's a heap of frozen meals
540
00:41:48,614 --> 00:41:50,094
in the freezer,
just help yourself.
541
00:41:50,137 --> 00:41:51,617
-Oh, no I wouldn't.
-Don't be silly,
542
00:41:51,660 --> 00:41:53,140
I get them delivered
and there's always too many,
543
00:41:53,184 --> 00:41:55,360
so I end up giving half
to the homeless.
544
00:41:55,403 --> 00:41:58,232
There's a well-stacked
book shelf upstairs.
545
00:41:58,276 --> 00:42:00,408
Feel free to open
a bottle of wine,
546
00:42:00,452 --> 00:42:01,801
maybe except
the Marius Symphony,
547
00:42:01,844 --> 00:42:03,629
a gift from
my dear friend Roger.
548
00:42:03,672 --> 00:42:05,544
That's about it,
I've got to run.
549
00:42:05,587 --> 00:42:07,154
Uh, I'll probably be
back in the wee hours,
550
00:42:07,198 --> 00:42:09,113
so, make yourself at home,
551
00:42:09,156 --> 00:42:10,418
and call me
if there's a problem.
552
00:42:10,462 --> 00:42:11,680
-Thank you!
-Tschuüssy!
553
00:42:20,254 --> 00:42:23,388
Up next we'll chat
to pop superstar Kiki
554
00:42:23,431 --> 00:42:26,739
about her debut novel
A Star Shines Bright,
555
00:42:26,782 --> 00:42:29,089
which has already sold
one million copies.
556
00:42:29,133 --> 00:42:30,395
Here's a sneak peak.
557
00:42:30,438 --> 00:42:32,571
♪ Every day and night
558
00:42:32,614 --> 00:42:35,878
♪ I'm longing
to call your name ♪
559
00:42:35,922 --> 00:42:38,403
♪ Oh, oh
560
00:42:38,446 --> 00:42:41,797
I believe destiny is where you end up if you follow your heart.
561
00:42:43,669 --> 00:42:46,324
♪ You're a thousand miles away
562
00:42:46,367 --> 00:42:50,371
♪ But I feel the flame, oh, oh
563
00:42:50,415 --> 00:42:52,939
So dream big and see
where the universe takes you.
564
00:42:58,031 --> 00:43:00,338
♪ Every day and night
565
00:43:00,381 --> 00:43:03,558
♪ I'm longing
to call your name ♪
566
00:43:03,602 --> 00:43:05,343
♪ Oh, oh
567
00:43:05,386 --> 00:43:09,260
♪ You're a thousand miles away
568
00:43:09,303 --> 00:43:11,175
Morgen,Jovana.
569
00:43:11,218 --> 00:43:14,221
-How did you sleep?
-Oh, like a baby.
570
00:43:14,265 --> 00:43:17,355
And Tommy kept me company again.
571
00:43:17,398 --> 00:43:18,486
Funny you say that, Jovana.
572
00:43:20,488 --> 00:43:24,101
You've been the perfect guest
these past few days,
573
00:43:24,144 --> 00:43:26,755
so, how would you
feel about staying longer?
574
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,454
Staying longer?
575
00:43:29,497 --> 00:43:32,544
I'm flying to Reykjavik
for three months tomorrow.
576
00:43:32,587 --> 00:43:35,634
Tommy doesn't like many people,
but he's really taken to you.
577
00:43:37,549 --> 00:43:40,595
I was planning to drop him
off at the doggy hotel, but...
578
00:43:40,639 --> 00:43:42,771
if you like,
I could pay you to dog sit.
579
00:43:42,815 --> 00:43:43,685
What do you say?
580
00:43:44,904 --> 00:43:46,253
Here? For three months?
581
00:43:47,385 --> 00:43:49,038
Correct.
582
00:43:49,082 --> 00:43:50,562
And you'll pay me?
583
00:43:51,345 --> 00:43:52,825
Well, it won't pay much,
but enough to cover
584
00:43:52,868 --> 00:43:53,869
your rent in Paris.
585
00:43:55,219 --> 00:43:56,524
So you'll break even at least.
586
00:44:02,835 --> 00:44:04,619
That's a very
generous offer, Harry.
587
00:44:11,235 --> 00:44:13,150
But I have to catch
a flight to Budapest today.
588
00:44:18,242 --> 00:44:20,809
♪ Lost in your illusion
589
00:44:20,853 --> 00:44:25,205
♪ Fade away
every day I follow you ♪
590
00:44:25,249 --> 00:44:31,168
♪ Enamored in agony
591
00:44:32,125 --> 00:44:34,606
♪ Lost in your illusion
592
00:44:34,649 --> 00:44:39,219
♪ Fade away
every day I follow you ♪
593
00:44:39,263 --> 00:44:44,093
♪ You're burning my effigy
594
00:44:47,488 --> 00:44:49,360
You'll be our grand finale,
595
00:44:49,403 --> 00:44:52,624
so you're welcome to have
a coffee in the green room,
596
00:44:52,667 --> 00:44:56,280
or listen on the preceding
presentations.
597
00:44:56,323 --> 00:44:59,370
But I warn you,
they might sound a tad bookish.
598
00:44:59,413 --> 00:45:00,632
And some are in Hungarian.
599
00:45:00,675 --> 00:45:02,199
It's okay, I'll listen in,
600
00:45:02,242 --> 00:45:03,722
maybe I'll learn something.
601
00:45:03,765 --> 00:45:05,506
Okay, great, that way.
602
00:45:33,230 --> 00:45:37,103
The epistemology that informs
phenomenological methodology
603
00:45:37,146 --> 00:45:41,368
must be either objectivism
or constructivism.
604
00:45:41,412 --> 00:45:44,241
Epistemology studies
the nature, creation
605
00:45:44,284 --> 00:45:46,721
and dissemination
of knowledge--
606
00:45:46,765 --> 00:45:48,506
Koöszonoöm.
607
00:45:48,549 --> 00:45:50,551
Before we get started,
I have to confess
608
00:45:50,595 --> 00:45:53,119
what I was doing
during the last presentation.
609
00:45:53,162 --> 00:45:56,035
I was looking up
a few words from the topic,
610
00:45:56,078 --> 00:45:59,299
namely "auto-ethnography,"
611
00:45:59,343 --> 00:46:01,214
"constructivism,"
612
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:05,697
"epistemology," "hermeneutic"
and "phenomenology."
613
00:46:07,176 --> 00:46:09,266
Either Hungarians
are really smart,
614
00:46:09,309 --> 00:46:11,920
or I'm the victim
of a hidden camera prank.
615
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:16,969
But then the taxi driver
616
00:46:17,012 --> 00:46:18,927
sticks his head out the window,
and yells,
617
00:46:18,971 --> 00:46:22,279
"Oi, knob face!
She's too fucking tall for ya!"
618
00:46:22,322 --> 00:46:25,369
Yeah, right,
it's that type of absurdism
619
00:46:25,412 --> 00:46:26,979
you'd expect from Murakami.
620
00:46:27,022 --> 00:46:29,286
Though with fewer talking cats.
621
00:46:40,949 --> 00:46:43,387
If you don't have Forint
you can give me 30 Euros.
622
00:46:53,832 --> 00:46:56,008
Right, so, uh,
where are we going?
623
00:46:56,051 --> 00:46:58,010
Should we hit the Buddha Bar?
624
00:46:58,053 --> 00:47:01,840
No, too many wanna-be pornstars.
625
00:47:01,883 --> 00:47:04,538
How about Tuk Tuk?
Do you like cocktails, Jovana?
626
00:47:05,452 --> 00:47:08,760
Actually, I, I think
I must get back to my hotel.
627
00:47:08,803 --> 00:47:11,415
- I have a lot to organize before I fly tomorrow.
- -No!
628
00:47:11,458 --> 00:47:14,287
Yeah, but it's been great
to meet you all, really,
629
00:47:14,331 --> 00:47:16,202
and thank you, Eva,
stay in touch.
630
00:47:17,899 --> 00:47:19,118
Nice to meet you.
631
00:47:19,161 --> 00:47:21,381
Yeah! Have fun!
632
00:49:49,486 --> 00:49:50,965
- Allo.
- Allo.
633
00:49:51,009 --> 00:49:53,968
- Thanks so much.
- Hello.
634
00:50:11,246 --> 00:50:13,422
Third book published.
You're generating great
635
00:50:13,466 --> 00:50:15,773
publicity through
a genius marketing strategy.
636
00:50:15,816 --> 00:50:17,557
And you're
on an international tour,
637
00:50:17,601 --> 00:50:19,559
which will take you
here to beautiful Oradea.
638
00:50:19,603 --> 00:50:21,735
It all sounds very exciting.
639
00:50:21,779 --> 00:50:24,390
Can you describe for us
your typical day on the road?
640
00:50:24,433 --> 00:50:28,133
It's every writer's
dream, Razvan.
641
00:50:28,176 --> 00:50:31,571
Each morning I eat
black caviar for breakfast,
642
00:50:31,615 --> 00:50:36,576
bathe in sparkling Perrier,
and have my personal sculptor
643
00:50:36,620 --> 00:50:40,362
carve dolphins from a cube
of Greenlandic ice.
644
00:51:10,001 --> 00:51:12,351
No, it's true! I don't
even know what you look like!
645
00:51:12,394 --> 00:51:13,961
Does that matter?
646
00:51:14,005 --> 00:51:15,746
That's uneven!
647
00:51:15,789 --> 00:51:17,269
You know what I look like,
648
00:51:17,312 --> 00:51:19,140
because I'm on the back
of the book,
649
00:51:19,184 --> 00:51:22,448
but I googled you, and there's a million women with your name.
650
00:51:22,491 --> 00:51:24,755
It's a common name.
But why would you care
651
00:51:24,798 --> 00:51:26,626
how I look anyway?
652
00:51:26,670 --> 00:51:28,672
What, are you
some kind of monster?
653
00:51:30,238 --> 00:51:31,718
It doesn't matter,
654
00:51:31,762 --> 00:51:33,851
I'm really looking
forward to meeting you,
655
00:51:33,894 --> 00:51:35,548
even if you do look like Shrek!
656
00:51:50,476 --> 00:51:53,653
And then he said,
"Where is my fish?"
657
00:52:01,792 --> 00:52:03,315
-Kitchen.
-Hola, mon amour.
658
00:52:03,358 --> 00:52:05,534
Aww, Baby Cakes! How are you?
659
00:52:05,578 --> 00:52:07,406
Theo! I need your help!
I need money!
660
00:52:07,449 --> 00:52:09,321
Oh, no.
661
00:52:10,365 --> 00:52:11,802
This phone's still
a piece of shit, what?
662
00:52:13,542 --> 00:52:15,153
Wha-- How's the tour?
663
00:52:16,284 --> 00:52:18,417
Alec went bankrupt.
I've been trying to tell you
664
00:52:18,460 --> 00:52:21,115
but the phone,
the phone keeps cutting out.
665
00:52:21,159 --> 00:52:23,161
I have been hitchhiking
everywhere--
666
00:52:23,204 --> 00:52:24,728
...stranger's mattresses.
667
00:52:24,771 --> 00:52:26,773
Baby, did you, did you say
"stranger's mattresses"?
668
00:52:29,341 --> 00:52:33,084
Do we have anything in the bank
somehow, somewhere?
669
00:52:33,127 --> 00:52:34,738
Baby.
670
00:52:37,305 --> 00:52:39,307
Why can't they fix
this fucking phone, dude?
671
00:52:39,351 --> 00:52:40,308
I don't understand.
672
00:52:40,352 --> 00:52:41,570
Baby, what?
673
00:52:42,484 --> 00:52:43,703
Hello?
674
00:52:43,747 --> 00:52:44,530
Jovana?
675
00:52:45,749 --> 00:52:47,533
Shit.
676
00:52:50,536 --> 00:52:52,581
Throwing the phone
will not fix the problem.
677
00:52:52,625 --> 00:52:54,932
If I can't throw the phone,
I'll throw you! How's that?
678
00:52:54,975 --> 00:52:56,977
Throwing me
will hurt your shoulder.
679
00:53:00,067 --> 00:53:00,807
Try this.
680
00:53:10,338 --> 00:53:11,122
Better?
681
00:53:12,471 --> 00:53:13,646
A little, thank you.
682
00:53:21,393 --> 00:53:22,655
What's up, hungry homies?
683
00:53:22,699 --> 00:53:24,526
Theo and ol' Raphael here busy
684
00:53:24,570 --> 00:53:26,398
cooking up the best
honey-smoked mackerel
685
00:53:26,441 --> 00:53:27,355
in this side of Soho.
686
00:53:27,399 --> 00:53:28,313
Leave us a message!
687
00:53:29,793 --> 00:53:31,142
Hi, it's me, it cut out again,
688
00:53:31,185 --> 00:53:33,013
like it does every fucking time.
689
00:53:33,057 --> 00:53:35,624
If you somehow receive
this message,
690
00:53:35,668 --> 00:53:38,018
can you try to call me back?
691
00:53:38,062 --> 00:53:41,413
Bribe your boss to,
to use the internet.
692
00:53:41,456 --> 00:53:43,589
I know we don't have
any savings, but maybe
693
00:53:43,632 --> 00:53:46,679
your work can give you
an advance or something?
694
00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:48,986
Let me know. Okay? Je t'aime.
695
00:53:52,511 --> 00:53:54,556
Here is
696
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,123
twenty euro.
697
00:53:57,298 --> 00:53:58,343
It not much.
698
00:54:01,128 --> 00:54:05,263
You maybe buy little bit food.
699
00:54:05,306 --> 00:54:07,091
No, I couldn't possibly...
700
00:54:08,005 --> 00:54:09,397
Please.
701
00:54:09,441 --> 00:54:10,268
I have job.
702
00:54:11,878 --> 00:54:12,661
Take.
703
00:54:15,621 --> 00:54:16,622
Thank you.
704
00:54:18,580 --> 00:54:19,451
You are welcome.
705
00:54:33,465 --> 00:54:37,643
"Katja and I had a lost weekend
in a hotel in Budapest.
706
00:54:37,686 --> 00:54:41,168
Only a twin room was available,
so we pushed two beds together.
707
00:54:42,082 --> 00:54:44,781
As I felt myself slipping
between mattresses,
708
00:54:44,824 --> 00:54:46,913
Katja narrated the scene
709
00:54:46,957 --> 00:54:49,437
her lover falling down
a huge crevasse,
710
00:54:49,481 --> 00:54:51,135
necessitating a search party
711
00:54:51,178 --> 00:54:54,094
of specially-trained
sniffer dogs raised from birth
712
00:54:54,138 --> 00:54:57,141
to descend the slippery
slopes of crisp white linen.
713
00:54:58,185 --> 00:54:59,796
Too lazy to do dishes,
714
00:54:59,839 --> 00:55:02,276
we ate Crunchy Nut
Corn Flakes from cups.
715
00:55:03,582 --> 00:55:04,975
Katja went to make coffee,
716
00:55:05,018 --> 00:55:07,325
and returned to find me
hugging a pillow.
717
00:55:07,368 --> 00:55:09,283
She stood there, naked,
718
00:55:09,327 --> 00:55:12,417
French press in hand,
and feigned admonishment.
719
00:55:12,460 --> 00:55:16,116
'I'm gone five minutes,
and you've already found
someone else?'
720
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:19,990
Sunrise, and she woke me
with her tongue between my legs.
721
00:55:20,033 --> 00:55:22,557
When we finally spoke, I asked,
722
00:55:22,601 --> 00:55:25,082
'Is that how you
always say good morning?'
723
00:55:25,125 --> 00:55:26,431
She replied, 'Yes,
724
00:55:26,474 --> 00:55:27,998
it can be awkward
when I bump into friends
725
00:55:28,041 --> 00:55:28,912
on the bus.'"
726
00:55:31,175 --> 00:55:33,873
"Katja found a job
as an in-house typographer
727
00:55:33,917 --> 00:55:36,441
in an agency in Dublin.
728
00:55:36,484 --> 00:55:38,660
I said goodbye
at the departure lounge
729
00:55:38,704 --> 00:55:40,924
clutching an overpriced
caramel latte.
730
00:55:40,967 --> 00:55:43,709
I said, 'Don't be a stranger.'
731
00:55:44,797 --> 00:55:49,236
She kissed my hand, winked,
and disappeared through customs.
732
00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:51,935
I went home,
watched Dirty Dancing,
733
00:55:51,978 --> 00:55:53,893
and ate cereal from a mug."
734
00:55:55,460 --> 00:55:56,853
Efcharistó.
735
00:56:00,465 --> 00:56:01,553
Thank you, Jovana.
736
00:56:01,596 --> 00:56:03,642
That was very enjoyable.
737
00:56:04,556 --> 00:56:07,864
I have many comments,
but I will open it to the floor.
738
00:56:07,907 --> 00:56:10,214
-Anyone have a question, yes?
-Yes.
739
00:56:10,257 --> 00:56:11,868
Hello, Jovana.
740
00:56:11,911 --> 00:56:14,261
I'm, I'm Elias from
the Traveling Book Buff.
741
00:56:14,305 --> 00:56:16,873
I'm pretty sure that you've
heard of my channel before?
742
00:56:19,049 --> 00:56:19,919
No?
743
00:56:22,095 --> 00:56:23,836
Really?
744
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:25,969
Oh, ha-ha, okay.
745
00:56:26,012 --> 00:56:27,971
Well, I just have
one question for you.
746
00:56:28,014 --> 00:56:31,931
That's, um,
is your book autobiographical?
747
00:56:31,975 --> 00:56:34,716
We are maybe getting
a little personal there.
748
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:35,717
Jovana?
749
00:56:35,761 --> 00:56:37,241
Um, American Psycho
750
00:56:37,284 --> 00:56:38,285
got inside the mind
751
00:56:38,329 --> 00:56:39,852
of a serial killer, but
752
00:56:39,896 --> 00:56:42,289
do you think Bret Easton Ellis
753
00:56:42,333 --> 00:56:44,988
actually chopped up
women with an axe?
754
00:56:45,031 --> 00:56:47,294
Let me just say,
I am happily married.
755
00:56:47,338 --> 00:56:50,776
Well, that's a very smart
way of dodging a question,
756
00:56:50,819 --> 00:56:54,606
but I find it very disingenuous
to mislead your readers--
757
00:56:54,649 --> 00:56:56,956
-That's enough.
-My followers need to know!
758
00:56:57,000 --> 00:57:00,046
Sir! Sir,
you're being disruptive.
759
00:57:00,090 --> 00:57:01,482
I think you should leave.
760
00:57:01,526 --> 00:57:03,832
This is censorship, seriously!
761
00:57:12,058 --> 00:57:13,233
I don't--
762
00:57:13,277 --> 00:57:14,278
I don't speak Greek,
763
00:57:14,321 --> 00:57:15,409
but I kind
of get your point, yeah?
764
00:57:17,629 --> 00:57:19,370
Um, Jovana, I'm just saying,
765
00:57:19,413 --> 00:57:20,980
I'm never going to model
for Calvin Klein
766
00:57:21,024 --> 00:57:22,721
like Tiny Banderas over here,
767
00:57:22,764 --> 00:57:23,983
but I'm going
to front my videos,
768
00:57:24,027 --> 00:57:25,506
not hide behind a facade.
769
00:57:36,648 --> 00:57:37,997
My apologies, everybody.
770
00:57:39,172 --> 00:57:41,261
Yes, yes up the back there?
771
00:57:41,305 --> 00:57:48,834
♪ Silence is your enemy
772
00:57:48,877 --> 00:57:50,618
You could cut
the tension with a knife.
773
00:57:50,662 --> 00:57:52,838
So the question remains,
774
00:57:52,881 --> 00:57:55,623
did Jovana Fey
sleep with a hundred women?
775
00:57:55,667 --> 00:57:57,190
Ooh!
776
00:57:57,234 --> 00:58:00,759
Okay, the big
ol' elephant in the room.
777
00:58:00,802 --> 00:58:02,935
Did I sleep
with all those women?
778
00:58:06,939 --> 00:58:09,159
- Oh, is that the time?
I've got a friend to meet!
779
00:58:13,250 --> 00:58:16,818
♪ Silence
780
00:58:16,862 --> 00:58:23,042
♪ Is your friend
781
00:58:23,086 --> 00:58:26,698
♪ Silence
782
00:58:26,741 --> 00:58:29,831
♪ Is your enemy
783
00:58:39,798 --> 00:58:41,452
Sorry about the mattress.
784
00:58:41,495 --> 00:58:43,715
We had an foam one but, uh,
785
00:58:43,758 --> 00:58:44,977
the dog pissed on it.
786
00:58:46,413 --> 00:58:47,849
There.
787
00:58:47,893 --> 00:58:48,981
You have a dog?
788
00:58:50,069 --> 00:58:50,852
No.
789
00:58:55,074 --> 00:58:58,686
I, uh, sorry to pry,
but, uh, are you an author?
790
00:58:58,730 --> 00:59:00,340
Yes.
791
00:59:00,384 --> 00:59:02,125
I don't suppose
you wrote a book called, uh,
792
00:59:02,168 --> 00:59:03,952
Don't Read This In The Air?
793
00:59:03,996 --> 00:59:06,390
Don't Read This On A Plane,
yes.
794
00:59:06,433 --> 00:59:08,783
I thought so, I watched
a review of it today,
795
00:59:08,827 --> 00:59:10,046
so your face is familiar.
796
00:59:10,089 --> 00:59:12,178
Oh, good to know.
797
00:59:12,222 --> 00:59:15,616
- So, is it true?
- Is what true?
798
00:59:15,660 --> 00:59:17,966
- That you, uh...
- That I?
799
00:59:18,010 --> 00:59:20,491
That you're, you know,
800
00:59:20,534 --> 00:59:22,580
intentionally being
controversial
801
00:59:22,623 --> 00:59:23,581
to, uh...
802
00:59:30,196 --> 00:59:31,719
Court publicity.
803
00:59:33,286 --> 00:59:35,245
...to court publicity.
804
00:59:35,288 --> 00:59:36,811
Is it true?
805
00:59:36,855 --> 00:59:38,639
You mean,
is it autobiographical?
806
00:59:38,683 --> 00:59:40,641
No! I don't care
about the sexy stuff.
807
00:59:40,685 --> 00:59:44,123
Come on!
What year is this? 1955?
808
00:59:44,167 --> 00:59:45,690
But apparently,
809
00:59:45,733 --> 00:59:48,388
there's a bit
in the book that's designed
810
00:59:48,432 --> 00:59:51,043
to get someone arrested
if they read it on a plane.
811
00:59:52,131 --> 00:59:53,132
That's just a joke,
812
00:59:53,176 --> 00:59:54,438
nobody would take it seriously,
813
00:59:54,481 --> 00:59:55,352
surely.
814
00:59:57,745 --> 00:59:59,747
Whatever helps you
sleep at night.
815
00:59:59,791 --> 01:00:02,446
Anyway, bathroom's here,
816
01:00:02,489 --> 01:00:04,100
I'll show you the trick
with the tap.
817
01:00:23,815 --> 01:00:25,251
Oui, allo?
818
01:00:25,295 --> 01:00:26,600
Jovana!
819
01:00:26,644 --> 01:00:28,733
This is Alec!
Have you heard the news?
820
01:00:28,776 --> 01:00:32,084
It's happened again,
only this time in The States.
821
01:00:32,128 --> 01:00:33,825
This could be
the big breakthrough!
822
01:00:35,479 --> 01:00:37,176
What news?
823
01:00:37,220 --> 01:00:39,483
I, I'm sending you the link,
have a look.
824
01:00:39,526 --> 01:00:42,616
Uh, I just woke up,
can you read it to me?
825
01:00:42,660 --> 01:00:47,186
Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay,
so, so, the headline is
826
01:00:47,230 --> 01:00:50,842
"Woman Questioned
For Reading Book on Plane.
827
01:00:50,885 --> 01:00:53,671
A woman on a Jet Blue
flight from Atlanta to Denver
828
01:00:53,714 --> 01:00:57,588
was met by anti-terrorism
officials upon disembarking.
829
01:00:57,631 --> 01:01:00,156
Sources indicate
she was reading a book titled
830
01:01:00,199 --> 01:01:04,769
Don't Read This On A Plane
by Paris-based novelist
Jovana Fey.
831
01:01:04,812 --> 01:01:07,424
The book contains a,"
blah-blah-blah,
832
01:01:07,467 --> 01:01:09,730
it goes on to describe
the offending passage
833
01:01:09,774 --> 01:01:11,950
and says she was released
without charge.
834
01:01:11,993 --> 01:01:14,648
Not much of a story,
but fantastic publicity!
835
01:01:16,128 --> 01:01:17,651
Cool!
836
01:01:17,695 --> 01:01:20,567
Yeah, cool, cool, cool,
indeed, yeah!
837
01:01:20,611 --> 01:01:23,179
Only I think today's youth
would call it "sick"!
838
01:01:23,222 --> 01:01:27,008
And semantics aside,
this is what we needed, Jovana.
839
01:01:28,227 --> 01:01:30,969
What do you mean "we," Alec?
You're no longer the publisher.
840
01:01:32,710 --> 01:01:33,580
You're right.
841
01:01:35,408 --> 01:01:36,627
I'm just saying,
842
01:01:37,715 --> 01:01:39,760
as a friend,
843
01:01:39,804 --> 01:01:42,241
you should make the most of it.
844
01:01:42,285 --> 01:01:43,764
Because this, my dear,
845
01:01:43,808 --> 01:01:46,027
is what success feels like.
846
01:01:46,071 --> 01:01:48,682
This is what you've been working
for your whole lifetime.
847
01:01:49,553 --> 01:01:50,510
So,
848
01:01:51,511 --> 01:01:52,773
take a look around and,
849
01:01:53,905 --> 01:01:56,037
breathe the air and,
850
01:01:56,081 --> 01:01:57,735
soak up the moment!
851
01:02:11,444 --> 01:02:13,925
Thank you Alec, all the best.
852
01:03:13,289 --> 01:03:16,248
Hi, um, I'm looking for Nicu.
853
01:03:16,292 --> 01:03:18,598
-Yeah, tall guy, grey hair.
-Okay, thanks.
854
01:03:30,915 --> 01:03:33,570
Jovana, you've made it,
I'm Nicu.
855
01:03:33,613 --> 01:03:35,180
Nice to meet you.
856
01:03:40,707 --> 01:03:41,578
Have a koekje!
857
01:03:43,188 --> 01:03:44,058
Oh.
858
01:03:55,896 --> 01:03:59,030
"I met Harriet
in a retro bar in Montreal.
859
01:03:59,073 --> 01:04:02,120
She said she had
dental floss stuck in her teeth,
860
01:04:02,163 --> 01:04:03,295
but was enjoying the irony.
861
01:04:04,905 --> 01:04:06,559
She was a petite Australian
862
01:04:06,603 --> 01:04:08,387
with a pierced lip, green hair,
863
01:04:08,431 --> 01:04:10,694
and a tattoo of a walrus
on her left buttock.
864
01:04:11,651 --> 01:04:14,001
When I asked whether
she were a John Lennon fan,
865
01:04:14,045 --> 01:04:17,004
she said, 'Not really, I just
reckon walruses are cool.'"
866
01:04:18,266 --> 01:04:19,224
"She played jokes
867
01:04:19,267 --> 01:04:20,965
whenever an opportunity knocked,
868
01:04:21,008 --> 01:04:24,055
from burning my lips with
weapons-grade ghost peppers,
869
01:04:24,098 --> 01:04:27,188
to pretending to be
a stranger on public transport
870
01:04:27,232 --> 01:04:29,539
before showing inappropriate
levels of affection."
871
01:04:31,845 --> 01:04:34,631
"Prior to my departure
from a recent rendezvous,
872
01:04:34,674 --> 01:04:36,589
she scribbled a note
in my journal.
873
01:04:37,547 --> 01:04:41,159
I went to read it, but
she said to save it for the air.
874
01:04:41,202 --> 01:04:44,554
Mid-flight, I opened the page
at the bookmark she'd placed.
875
01:04:45,555 --> 01:04:48,384
Five words,
my heart skipped a beat,
876
01:04:48,427 --> 01:04:51,343
and I slammed the pages
together in a mad panic.
877
01:04:51,387 --> 01:04:54,172
Regaining my composure,
if not my breath,
878
01:04:54,215 --> 01:04:56,609
I slowly opened
the book for another look,
879
01:04:56,653 --> 01:04:58,002
there I saw it..."
880
01:05:03,399 --> 01:05:05,183
"'There's a bomb on board.'"
881
01:05:09,579 --> 01:05:12,059
"As I pictured
my new life in Guantanamo Bay,
882
01:05:12,103 --> 01:05:15,411
I finally
understood the walrus tattoo,
883
01:05:15,454 --> 01:05:17,978
tamed, they can perform
tricks at Seaworld,
884
01:05:18,022 --> 01:05:19,545
like the spectacle of a dainty,
885
01:05:19,589 --> 01:05:22,156
green-haired,
nymph reading Bukowski
886
01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:25,333
while sipping bourbon in
a windowless Montreal speakeasy.
887
01:05:25,377 --> 01:05:27,423
But turn your back,
888
01:05:27,466 --> 01:05:29,903
and you might find a tusk
through your abdomen."
889
01:05:31,339 --> 01:05:32,558
Bedankt.
890
01:05:43,090 --> 01:05:45,441
Great response there, Jovana.
891
01:05:45,484 --> 01:05:47,704
I think you really have some
serious fans here in Maastricht!
892
01:05:49,357 --> 01:05:51,403
Any questions from the audience?
893
01:05:51,447 --> 01:05:53,405
-Yes.
-Hi, Jovana.
894
01:05:53,449 --> 01:05:55,363
Have you ever had a headbutt?
895
01:05:55,407 --> 01:05:56,626
What?
896
01:06:01,152 --> 01:06:05,199
♪ Every day and night
I am longing ♪
897
01:06:05,243 --> 01:06:09,116
♪ For your name, oh, oh
898
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:12,380
♪ You're a thousand
miles away... ♪
899
01:06:23,957 --> 01:06:26,699
What?
900
01:06:29,223 --> 01:06:31,965
Hello, allo, allo, allo,
allo, allo, allo, allo.
901
01:06:33,445 --> 01:06:35,186
♪Baby, say--
902
01:06:35,229 --> 01:06:36,230
I can't hear you, what?
903
01:06:37,362 --> 01:06:39,538
Okay, and now?
904
01:06:39,582 --> 01:06:41,279
-Do you hear me?
-Ah!
905
01:06:41,322 --> 01:06:42,585
I can hear you!
906
01:06:42,628 --> 01:06:45,892
Finally, wow, hi.
907
01:06:45,936 --> 01:06:48,982
Okay, um, I don't know
if you got my last message,
908
01:06:49,026 --> 01:06:51,507
but I have completely
run out of money.
909
01:06:51,550 --> 01:06:54,161
Do, do we have
anything in the bank?
910
01:06:54,205 --> 01:06:57,643
Some notes stuffed
into the mattress even?
911
01:06:57,687 --> 01:06:58,426
I'm desperate.
912
01:06:59,732 --> 01:07:01,560
Baby, I'm sorry, I did...
913
01:07:01,604 --> 01:07:03,083
get your message, I just...
914
01:07:04,345 --> 01:07:06,696
I've been ashamed to admit
that I can't help you.
915
01:07:06,739 --> 01:07:09,742
And, Jovana, I need
to provide for you better,
916
01:07:09,786 --> 01:07:11,744
I know that,
and I promise you, baby, I will.
917
01:07:11,788 --> 01:07:14,007
Okay, I'm going to come
through for you.
When I open my restaurant
918
01:07:14,051 --> 01:07:15,661
it'll be a huge success and
I'll take care of everything.
919
01:07:15,705 --> 01:07:18,316
Okay, Theo,
save your breath, okay,
920
01:07:18,359 --> 01:07:19,709
I'm so fucking tired
of this shit.
921
01:07:30,633 --> 01:07:31,459
Fuck!
922
01:07:48,215 --> 01:07:50,087
Oh, hello there,
923
01:07:50,130 --> 01:07:53,525
calling me again in the wee
hours of the morning?
924
01:07:53,569 --> 01:07:56,310
I just rang
to talk if that's okay?
925
01:07:56,354 --> 01:07:59,705
Yeah, of course it's okay!
926
01:07:59,749 --> 01:08:04,841
Okay, so are you all
prepared for my reading?
927
01:08:04,884 --> 01:08:06,625
Of course.
928
01:08:06,669 --> 01:08:08,496
Though my bookstore
isn't big enough,
929
01:08:08,540 --> 01:08:11,412
so we're moving
to another venue.
930
01:08:11,456 --> 01:08:13,240
What? That's great news.
931
01:08:13,284 --> 01:08:15,634
I have to start
charging an appearance fee.
932
01:08:16,809 --> 01:08:19,551
Well, we're a small operation
933
01:08:19,595 --> 01:08:23,120
but I can probably find
a way to reward you.
934
01:08:23,163 --> 01:08:25,949
Oh, my God,
it sounds rather suggestive.
935
01:08:25,992 --> 01:08:30,344
I will neither confirm
nor deny that intention.
936
01:08:30,388 --> 01:08:33,391
But, uh, you don't know
what I look like, remember?
937
01:08:34,522 --> 01:08:37,917
I could be hideous.
938
01:08:37,961 --> 01:08:40,137
You don't sound hideous.
939
01:08:40,180 --> 01:08:41,965
A voice can be deceiving.
940
01:08:42,008 --> 01:08:44,924
I once spoke with a publisher's intern on the phone,
941
01:08:44,968 --> 01:08:47,318
she had a beautiful,
chirpy voice,
942
01:08:47,361 --> 01:08:50,756
and I pictured her wearing
a yellow summer dress
943
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:52,758
and a white hair ribbon.
944
01:08:52,802 --> 01:08:54,064
When we met,
945
01:08:54,107 --> 01:08:57,937
she had dreadlocks and horns.
946
01:08:57,981 --> 01:08:59,286
Horns?
947
01:08:59,330 --> 01:09:02,420
She had implants under her skin.
948
01:09:02,463 --> 01:09:04,770
Yuck!
949
01:09:04,814 --> 01:09:06,903
But she spoke like
the voiceover girl
950
01:09:06,946 --> 01:09:08,905
on a toothpaste commercial,
951
01:09:08,948 --> 01:09:13,300
and soon we'd share lemon tea
without me even noticing.
952
01:09:13,344 --> 01:09:15,302
And then she went home
953
01:09:15,346 --> 01:09:18,784
and carved a pentagram
into a kitten's forehead.
954
01:09:24,485 --> 01:09:25,399
Jovana?
955
01:09:26,618 --> 01:09:27,401
Yes?
956
01:09:29,752 --> 01:09:31,623
Did you sleep
with all those women?
957
01:09:33,016 --> 01:09:35,235
If I did,
would that make me a slut?
958
01:09:36,584 --> 01:09:38,151
Maybe it's time we admit
959
01:09:38,195 --> 01:09:42,025
that everyone's a bit of a slut.
960
01:09:42,068 --> 01:09:44,941
But you're just
a little sluttier.
961
01:09:44,984 --> 01:09:48,335
Oh! I'd slap your face
if I had longer arms.
962
01:11:03,410 --> 01:11:04,803
Nice to meet you, finally.
963
01:11:06,849 --> 01:11:08,546
So now I know how you look like.
964
01:11:13,029 --> 01:11:15,814
I gave the jar
to my client Frederik,
965
01:11:15,858 --> 01:11:18,774
explaining explicitly
966
01:11:18,817 --> 01:11:23,343
that it's to be spread very
thinly on toast, with butter.
967
01:11:23,387 --> 01:11:24,736
But that gets
lost in translation
968
01:11:24,780 --> 01:11:26,694
when I'm invited
over for dinner,
969
01:11:26,738 --> 01:11:30,263
and Frederik's wife brings
it out with the barbecue pork.
970
01:11:30,307 --> 01:11:33,614
She unscrews the jar,
971
01:11:33,658 --> 01:11:36,574
scoops a big Vegemite
dollop onto her plate,
972
01:11:36,617 --> 01:11:39,011
and dabs the meat into it like
973
01:11:39,055 --> 01:11:40,839
dirty black mustard.
974
01:11:40,883 --> 01:11:42,319
I didn't want her
to feel stupid,
975
01:11:42,362 --> 01:11:43,842
so I did the same,
976
01:11:43,886 --> 01:11:46,714
as did Frederik
and the other guests.
977
01:11:46,758 --> 01:11:51,023
No one was eating this black
sludge because they wanted to.
978
01:11:51,067 --> 01:11:54,070
We were all doing it
for the sake of someone else.
979
01:11:56,028 --> 01:11:57,769
Sorry, I'm waffling.
980
01:11:57,813 --> 01:11:58,944
No, not at all.
981
01:12:00,032 --> 01:12:01,468
I think it's a lovely story.
982
01:12:03,035 --> 01:12:04,689
It calls for a toast.
983
01:12:07,561 --> 01:12:10,695
So, here's for not doing things
984
01:12:10,738 --> 01:12:12,044
just to please others.
985
01:12:36,460 --> 01:12:38,462
There are not many left.
986
01:12:38,505 --> 01:12:40,899
Do you want to give them
a link to the e-book?
987
01:12:40,943 --> 01:12:42,074
Uh, whatever you like.
988
01:12:46,035 --> 01:12:47,688
Sorry, um,
989
01:12:48,820 --> 01:12:51,692
maybe we get an intern
to do the reading?
990
01:12:51,736 --> 01:12:54,304
There are hungry hoards
out there awaiting your wisdom.
991
01:12:54,347 --> 01:12:56,001
I heard, um,
992
01:12:56,045 --> 01:13:00,223
there's a waterpark
with nice jacuzzies and stuff.
993
01:13:08,144 --> 01:13:09,101
This has been fun.
994
01:13:28,077 --> 01:13:29,034
Multumesc.
995
01:13:30,253 --> 01:13:31,036
Thank you so much.
996
01:13:35,606 --> 01:13:37,521
Chapter 67,
997
01:13:37,564 --> 01:13:38,609
"Lorraine.
998
01:13:40,785 --> 01:13:42,830
I first met Lorraine
999
01:13:42,874 --> 01:13:46,704
at the frozen quiche section
at the Huntington Supermarket.
1000
01:13:49,620 --> 01:13:50,490
And..."
1001
01:13:58,846 --> 01:13:59,804
You know what?
1002
01:14:01,588 --> 01:14:02,763
Let's get back to Lorraine
in a minute,
1003
01:14:02,807 --> 01:14:04,287
but first
I want to say a few words.
1004
01:14:05,984 --> 01:14:09,335
Whenever I do a reading,
someone inevitably asks
1005
01:14:09,379 --> 01:14:12,904
whether Don't Read This On A
Planeis autobiographical,
1006
01:14:12,948 --> 01:14:14,471
did I sleep
with a hundred women?
1007
01:14:15,994 --> 01:14:17,822
I've dodged the question
1008
01:14:17,865 --> 01:14:19,084
in public,
1009
01:14:19,128 --> 01:14:20,520
and in private,
1010
01:14:20,564 --> 01:14:22,609
trying to hold onto the mystique
1011
01:14:22,653 --> 01:14:23,915
a non-answer generates,
1012
01:14:23,959 --> 01:14:26,048
because mystique
translates into sales.
1013
01:14:26,091 --> 01:14:28,398
And I need to sell
books to survive.
1014
01:14:29,660 --> 01:14:31,792
But this whole charade
has weighed me down, so...
1015
01:14:33,098 --> 01:14:34,447
I'm going
to answer the question.
1016
01:14:37,320 --> 01:14:39,757
Is Don't Read This On A Plane
autobiographical?
1017
01:14:43,630 --> 01:14:44,370
Yes.
1018
01:14:45,719 --> 01:14:46,677
Absolutely.
1019
01:14:49,810 --> 01:14:53,814
I have indeed slept
with a hundred or so women.
1020
01:14:53,858 --> 01:14:58,950
And each one of the encounters
in this book happened to me.
1021
01:14:58,994 --> 01:15:01,213
I've changed the names
and a few details,
1022
01:15:01,257 --> 01:15:04,390
but the stories, and feelings,
1023
01:15:04,434 --> 01:15:06,044
are all based on fact.
1024
01:15:07,915 --> 01:15:10,918
And each one has shaped me.
1025
01:15:10,962 --> 01:15:12,964
And you want
to know something else?
1026
01:15:13,008 --> 01:15:14,966
I've been
on tour for a few weeks,
1027
01:15:15,010 --> 01:15:18,143
and during that time,
I've slept with
1028
01:15:18,187 --> 01:15:19,057
two more.
1029
01:15:49,827 --> 01:15:52,047
Actually, make that three.
1030
01:16:01,621 --> 01:16:02,535
Okay, four.
1031
01:16:05,016 --> 01:16:08,759
My husband Theo and I have
been married now for ten years.
1032
01:16:08,802 --> 01:16:10,717
Is he aware of my dalliances?
1033
01:16:10,761 --> 01:16:12,763
Of course he is.
1034
01:16:12,806 --> 01:16:14,721
In fact, he encourages them,
1035
01:16:14,765 --> 01:16:17,333
because he wants me
to be fulfilled.
1036
01:16:17,376 --> 01:16:19,726
But there is a caveat
to this arrangement,
1037
01:16:19,770 --> 01:16:23,861
he insists that my flings
stay purely physical.
1038
01:16:23,904 --> 01:16:27,038
He doesn't want me
to be emotionally involved
with any of these women.
1039
01:16:27,082 --> 01:16:29,171
But see,
I'm not sure that's possible.
1040
01:16:33,871 --> 01:16:36,613
It's natural for me
to feel something
1041
01:16:36,656 --> 01:16:39,311
for every woman I'm with.
1042
01:16:39,355 --> 01:16:40,921
Sometimes I can walk away,
1043
01:16:40,965 --> 01:16:43,141
enjoy some lingering
sensations over breakfast,
1044
01:16:43,185 --> 01:16:45,100
and then think
nothing more of it.
1045
01:16:46,884 --> 01:16:49,539
Other times,
I'm swept off my feet,
1046
01:16:49,582 --> 01:16:51,802
with a rush,
like a teenager's first love.
1047
01:16:54,109 --> 01:16:56,067
Why am I sharing this now?
1048
01:16:58,330 --> 01:17:01,464
From a marketing
perspective it's self-sabotage,
1049
01:17:01,507 --> 01:17:03,205
I've ruined the mystique.
1050
01:17:04,293 --> 01:17:05,468
You all know the truth.
1051
01:17:06,469 --> 01:17:08,384
End of narrative.
1052
01:17:08,427 --> 01:17:10,342
Maybe I've killed my sales.
1053
01:17:11,517 --> 01:17:15,478
But if that's the price
of peace of mind, so be it.
1054
01:17:15,521 --> 01:17:17,262
Anyway, thank you for listening,
1055
01:17:17,306 --> 01:17:19,090
back to the frozen quiche.
1056
01:19:10,593 --> 01:19:13,291
Mon amour?
Are you back on land?
1057
01:19:13,335 --> 01:19:15,685
Hey, honey!
Even better, I'm home.
1058
01:19:15,728 --> 01:19:17,556
What? Don't move!
1059
01:19:31,701 --> 01:19:33,746
Hey! Baby.
1060
01:19:33,790 --> 01:19:36,053
Look, I'm so sorry
for what happened.
1061
01:20:52,695 --> 01:20:54,436
I'm aware that
most restaurants fail.
1062
01:20:54,479 --> 01:20:56,916
I am, okay, I,
1063
01:20:56,960 --> 01:20:58,527
I said to Rafael over there,
I said,
1064
01:20:58,570 --> 01:21:00,746
"I must be fucking crazy
1065
01:21:00,790 --> 01:21:02,705
to open yet another restaurant
1066
01:21:02,748 --> 01:21:04,533
right in the heart of Paris."
1067
01:21:04,576 --> 01:21:06,491
And he said to me, "Yes, Theo,
1068
01:21:06,535 --> 01:21:08,014
you are crazy,
1069
01:21:08,928 --> 01:21:11,409
but knowing you,
not even a straight jacket
1070
01:21:11,453 --> 01:21:13,411
will hold you back.
1071
01:21:13,455 --> 01:21:15,892
You'll be dicing onions with
a knife between your teeth."
1072
01:21:15,935 --> 01:21:17,415
It's true!
1073
01:21:17,459 --> 01:21:19,852
Regardless, as of tonight,
1074
01:21:19,896 --> 01:21:22,942
we've officially survived
one year in business.
1075
01:21:22,986 --> 01:21:24,291
- Woo!
- Thank you.
1076
01:21:25,336 --> 01:21:26,772
And, hey, we must be doing
something right,
1077
01:21:26,816 --> 01:21:28,600
because there
has not been a single
1078
01:21:28,644 --> 01:21:30,080
case of food poisoning!
1079
01:21:30,123 --> 01:21:32,212
I mean, wow.
1080
01:21:33,300 --> 01:21:34,519
Now as many of you know,
1081
01:21:34,563 --> 01:21:35,564
I imagined this place
1082
01:21:35,607 --> 01:21:37,304
as a cultural mecca.
1083
01:21:37,348 --> 01:21:40,090
Jazz, readings and recitals.
1084
01:21:40,133 --> 01:21:43,223
Granted it has taken
a while to get here, but...
1085
01:21:43,267 --> 01:21:46,009
ladies and gentlemen
I'm honored to finally host
1086
01:21:46,052 --> 01:21:48,098
- Savory Notes #1.
- Woohoo!
1087
01:21:50,013 --> 01:21:51,928
And I'm especially honored
1088
01:21:51,971 --> 01:21:54,800
to introduce our first artist,
my beautiful wife.
1089
01:21:55,714 --> 01:21:58,456
Or as you may know her,
Theo's beautiful wife.
1090
01:22:01,067 --> 01:22:02,939
She'll read
from her story titled,
1091
01:22:02,982 --> 01:22:04,549
They Didn't Know it was Music.
1092
01:22:04,593 --> 01:22:06,072
Over to you baby.
1093
01:22:08,988 --> 01:22:10,250
Merci, mon amour.
1094
01:22:12,209 --> 01:22:13,689
They Didn't Know it was Music.
1095
01:22:15,995 --> 01:22:17,562
"Resfeber.
1096
01:22:17,606 --> 01:22:18,868
Swedish.
1097
01:22:19,912 --> 01:22:22,698
The restless race
of the traveler's heart
1098
01:22:22,741 --> 01:22:24,874
before the journey begins,
1099
01:22:24,917 --> 01:22:28,138
when anxiety and anticipation
are entangled.
1100
01:22:30,532 --> 01:22:31,446
Chapter one.
1101
01:22:32,664 --> 01:22:34,623
As I packed my bags,
1102
01:22:34,666 --> 01:22:37,582
my resfebersurged
at full-throttle,
1103
01:22:37,626 --> 01:22:40,063
elevating the smallest decisions
1104
01:22:40,106 --> 01:22:42,195
into epoch-making significance.
1105
01:22:43,588 --> 01:22:46,548
The choice
between sneakers or flats
1106
01:22:46,591 --> 01:22:49,246
was lent gravity
usually reserved
1107
01:22:49,289 --> 01:22:51,509
for matters
of national security,
1108
01:22:51,553 --> 01:22:55,295
decisions deciding
the fate of civilization.
1109
01:22:55,339 --> 01:22:58,255
It was the Cuban missile crisis
of comfortable footwear.
1110
01:22:59,778 --> 01:23:02,215
My indecision was crippling.
1111
01:23:02,259 --> 01:23:05,654
I needed a random determinant
to unlock my subconscious.
1112
01:23:05,697 --> 01:23:06,742
So I flipped a coin.
1113
01:23:07,699 --> 01:23:09,179
Heads.
1114
01:23:09,222 --> 01:23:10,615
I'd take sneakers.
1115
01:23:10,659 --> 01:23:13,444
Damn it, I wanted flats.
1116
01:23:13,488 --> 01:23:15,664
Like a blind man
who could finally see,
1117
01:23:15,707 --> 01:23:17,753
I could now see
what I truly desired.
1118
01:23:18,754 --> 01:23:20,582
The coin was wrong.
1119
01:23:20,625 --> 01:23:23,498
But I had
to flip it to find out."
1120
01:23:31,288 --> 01:23:33,420
♪ Where's this going girl
1121
01:23:33,464 --> 01:23:36,859
♪ Are you having fun
because I don't understand ♪
1122
01:23:36,902 --> 01:23:40,166
♪ I'm beginning to think
you're fooling me ♪
1123
01:23:40,210 --> 01:23:42,647
♪ because my feelings mean
1124
01:23:42,691 --> 01:23:46,303
♪ I don't need to say that
for you it's just a game ♪
1125
01:23:46,346 --> 01:23:48,479
♪ When I don't want to bait
1126
01:23:48,523 --> 01:23:51,787
♪ You used to kind
but now you're just obscene ♪
1127
01:23:51,830 --> 01:23:55,921
♪ I just want to say
1128
01:23:57,357 --> 01:24:01,100
♪ Don't worry girl
you don't have to wake up ♪
1129
01:24:03,233 --> 01:24:07,585
♪ Don't worry girl
I leave tonight ♪
1130
01:24:07,629 --> 01:24:11,110
♪ You were a special girl
that I used to adore ♪
1131
01:24:11,154 --> 01:24:13,678
♪ And now you're
making me feel down ♪
1132
01:24:13,722 --> 01:24:16,638
♪ Like a rolling stone
when it starts to roll ♪
1133
01:24:16,681 --> 01:24:19,597
♪ And you're nothing
but a plonk ♪
1134
01:24:19,641 --> 01:24:22,992
♪ Oh, no, no, no
1135
01:24:28,954 --> 01:24:31,696
♪ Lost in your illusion
1136
01:24:31,740 --> 01:24:36,309
♪ Fade away, every day
I follow you ♪
1137
01:24:36,353 --> 01:24:40,096
♪ Enamored in agony
1138
01:24:42,664 --> 01:24:45,405
♪ Lost in your illusion
1139
01:24:45,449 --> 01:24:48,713
♪ Fade away, every day
I follow you ♪
1140
01:24:50,106 --> 01:24:53,849
♪ You're burning my effigy
1141
01:24:56,678 --> 01:24:59,289
♪ Lost in your illusion
1142
01:24:59,332 --> 01:25:02,509
♪ Fade away, every day
I follow you ♪
1143
01:25:03,859 --> 01:25:07,906
♪ Enamored in agony
1144
01:25:10,300 --> 01:25:13,172
♪ Lost in your illusion
1145
01:25:13,216 --> 01:25:17,742
♪ Fade away, every day
I follow you ♪
1146
01:25:17,786 --> 01:25:21,528
♪ You're burning my effigy
1147
01:26:28,508 --> 01:26:31,686
♪ Every day and night
I'm longing ♪
1148
01:26:31,729 --> 01:26:36,255
♪ To call your name, oh, oh
1149
01:26:36,299 --> 01:26:38,954
♪ You're a thousand miles away
1150
01:26:38,997 --> 01:26:43,306
♪ But I feel the flame, oh, oh
1151
01:26:43,349 --> 01:26:46,788
♪ Every day and night
I'm longing ♪
1152
01:26:46,831 --> 01:26:50,966
♪ To call your name, oh, oh
1153
01:26:51,009 --> 01:26:53,795
♪ You're a thousand miles away
1154
01:26:53,838 --> 01:26:58,408
♪ But I feel the flame, oh, oh
84023
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