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Nice tits, Bitch.
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♪ Come run with me
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♪ to the end of the world
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♪ come run with me
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♪ I know you're gonna save me
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♪ she has a...
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Yah!
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Thanksgiving break!
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Yes! Yes!
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Damn, Billy, cover
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those puppies up.
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Nobody wants to see your nasty
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titties.
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Shh, I'm trying to get
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Ali to show her big ol' tiggos.
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Oh, all right.
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Yeah! Spring Break,
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guys!
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Let's get wasted.
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Pull your shirt
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down, Honey.
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It's Thanksgiving, not
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Tits-giving.
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What?
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I thought Johnny would be
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thankful for my glorious
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boobies.
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I know I am.
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You know you like them.
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♪ To the end of the world
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♪ come run with me
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Billy! Hey, guys!
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Hey!
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Yo, what's the deal
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with him, anyway?
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Oh, it's cool, man.
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He's with me.
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A little weird, but you get used
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to it.
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Cool.
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Hey, Johnny, we're gonna
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wait for you in the car, okay?
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All right, Sweetie,
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we'll see you in a bit.
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Yeah, guys, we'll see
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you there.
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What's up, Darren?
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How's it going,
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Billy?
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Yo, what's up, man?
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My name is Johnny.
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Hey, Johnny.
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Yeah, I know you.
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You're the backup quarterback
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for the Tritons, aren't you?
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That's just because I
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broke my leg last season.
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You know Trent?
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The first-string quarterback?
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Oh, oh, yeah, no,
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you're better than him.
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He's got nothing on you, man.
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He's got nothing.
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No! Nothing.
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♪ Something different in
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these blue eyes ♪
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♪ Like they were made for me
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Trent is Trent.
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But Johnny, he's Johnny.
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Yo, Billy.
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Whoa.
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Here, check this out.
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Weapon of mass destruction.
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Go ahead, touch it.
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Nice, right?
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Yeah, wow, that's
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huge.
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Hey, Darren.
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I got a muscle you can touch.
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♪ Come run with me
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♪ I know you're gonna save me
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♪ I know you're gonna save me
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♪ I know you're gonna save me
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♪ I know you're gonna save me
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♪ I know you're gonna save me
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Yeah!
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Thanksgiving Break! Whoo-hoo!
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Don't go running too
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far off, Flashy.
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Dinner will be done soon.
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He's just a dog, Oscar.
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And I'm just a lonely old hag.
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Jesus, man, you
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reek.
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God.
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So, guys, I was
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thinking, you know, since it's
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Thanksgiving and all, that we
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should go around and say what
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we're thankful for.
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I'm thankful that your
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mom has the juiciest poon in
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town.
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Oh, nice!
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Burn, baby, good one.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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What's poon?
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You guys are so
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rude.
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Darren, I'm thankful to be
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spending time with all of you
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guys.
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And I'm glad we're all in good
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health.
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Gay.
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No.
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Not gay at all, Billy.
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Actually, I think spending time
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with your family is one of the
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most important things in life.
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Right, Kristen?
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I just wish me and my old man
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had a little more time to bond.
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He was the one who taught me how
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to throw the pigskin around all
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those years ago.
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Unfortunately, we haven't been
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getting along lately.
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Billy, what are you
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thankful for?
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Well, I guess since my
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papa died last year, I guess I'm
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just grateful that I still got
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my little mama.
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I'm going to show her a good
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time this Thanksgiving.
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Aw, Billy, that is
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so sweet.
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Hey. Hey.
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I'm gonna go wild...
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I'm gonna go buck wild on this
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trip.
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I'm gonna go skinny dipping
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without any clothes on.
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I'm gonna ghost ride the whip,
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man.
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Whoo!
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I'm going to have sex with
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someone in this car.
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Yeah, and for once, you know,
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it's not gonna be just me by
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myself.
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I'm gonna be the one doing the
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sexing.
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Yeah, to one of you.
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Well, it isn't gonna be
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me.
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I'm a prude.
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What?
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Nothing.
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Yeah, nothing.
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Nothing at all, Ali.
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Ali...
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You're kind of a ho.
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I'm not gonna lie... you're
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pretty skanky.
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I am not a ho.
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There is only one man in my
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life.
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Right, Johnny?
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Oh, please, Ali,
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your legs are harder to shut
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than the Jon Benet Ramsey Case.
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Oh, snap! Burn.
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That's good.
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Flashy!
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Dinner's done, boy.
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Flashy, where are you?
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Flashy?
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Where are you, boy?
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Oh, fuck, I'm pissed.
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Thank you, Baby.
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God damn, Sheryl, that coffee
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tastes like shit.
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What did you do?
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Take a dump in it?
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Ha.
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As a matter of fact, I sure did.
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I want a fucking divorce.
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All right, then.
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Sheriff Roud here.
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Hey, Daddy, how are
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you?
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Hi, Baby.
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Are you on your way yet?
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Yep, we've been on
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the road for about...
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Kristen, toss me a
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beer.
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Hey, what did he say?
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Did he just say toss?
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Uh, no, Dad...
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Tossing is illegal.
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You can't do no tossing in a
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car, girl, do you understand
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that?
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I know, Daddy.
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Anyway, I just wanted to let you
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know I'll be home in a couple of
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hours.
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All right, Sweetheart.
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Hey, by the way, are you going
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to be able to go with me to the
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Annual Policeman's Thanksgiving
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Ball tonight?
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Uh, sure, yeah.
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Great.
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Oh, by the way, your Step Mama
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left me.
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Love you, bye.
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What the hell?
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Aw, damn it.
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I'm gonna have to pull over,
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guys.
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Whoa, Billy.
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Argh!
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Billy!
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God, dude. Damn it.
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God damn!
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How bad is it?
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I don't know.
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Looks like we definitely
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over heated.
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Oh, I know!
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Maybe it's a flat tire, Johnny.
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Yeah, maybe, Ali.
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Hey, we got tents and
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beer.
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Let's party here tonight.
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Yeah, that sounds
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awesome!
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Yeah, maybe if you get
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drunk enough, Johnny, you can
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look under my hood.
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Well, the car does
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need to cool off.
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Let's do it.
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Yeah!
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Right here!
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Camping.
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00:13:04,189 --> 00:13:08,125
Let's go get drunk.
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00:13:08,126 --> 00:13:11,295
Yeah! Drunk!
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Who wants to get laid?
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Where's my...
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This is mine.
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Party, we're going to party all
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night.
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00:13:21,941 --> 00:13:23,574
We're gonna get so drunk and
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wasted.
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I'm so excited! I'm so excited!
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Fucking faggot.
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00:13:30,315 --> 00:13:32,617
Ouch!
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Crawberg.
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Where have I heard that name
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before?
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Guys, guys!
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Guys, guys, wait up.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
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Whoa there, Junior.
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There's a sign back
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there that said Crawberg on it.
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So what, Darren?
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Like, what's your point?
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You, you're trying to
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tell me that you don't know what
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Crawberg is?
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00:14:13,391 --> 00:14:15,759
Okay, guys, it's time for me to
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fill you in on one of the most
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notorious moments in Pilgrim
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00:14:20,798 --> 00:14:23,634
history.
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Back in the 1500s, in the
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settlement of Crawberg, an old
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Indian by the name of
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00:14:29,207 --> 00:14:30,942
Feather Cloud, who some people
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thought had black magic powers,
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was dishonored by a Pilgrim.
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00:14:34,846 --> 00:14:37,181
Oh, my ex-boyfriend was
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a Pilgrim.
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The Pilgrim's name
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was Chuck Langston.
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Well, that's my last
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name.
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I know, Billy.
295
00:14:46,925 --> 00:14:48,325
I've never thought about it
296
00:14:48,326 --> 00:14:50,194
before, but he's probably one of
297
00:14:50,195 --> 00:14:51,195
your ancestors.
298
00:14:51,196 --> 00:14:52,496
Well, anyways.
299
00:14:52,497 --> 00:14:54,966
The old Indian was so outraged,
300
00:14:54,967 --> 00:14:57,168
he vowed he would curse all
301
00:14:57,169 --> 00:14:57,936
white men.
302
00:14:57,937 --> 00:14:59,570
This was no ordinary curse,
303
00:14:59,571 --> 00:15:00,238
however.
304
00:15:00,239 --> 00:15:02,439
Feather Cloud necromanced a...
305
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,042
Turkey that would roam the earth
306
00:15:05,043 --> 00:15:07,311
every 505 years, killing the
307
00:15:07,312 --> 00:15:09,546
first humans he made contact
308
00:15:09,547 --> 00:15:10,248
with.
309
00:15:10,249 --> 00:15:12,683
He was more evil than anything
310
00:15:12,684 --> 00:15:14,651
you've ever seen before... a
311
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,420
Turkey that would stop at
312
00:15:16,421 --> 00:15:18,655
nothing to get what he wanted...
313
00:15:18,656 --> 00:15:20,024
To kill.
314
00:15:20,025 --> 00:15:23,160
Are you shitting me?
315
00:15:23,161 --> 00:15:25,029
A killer Turkey?
316
00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:26,363
Bullshit, Darren.
317
00:15:26,364 --> 00:15:27,831
You're starting to scare Kristen
318
00:15:27,832 --> 00:15:28,200
now.
319
00:15:28,201 --> 00:15:29,466
I'm not scared.
320
00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:30,567
I'm scared.
321
00:15:30,568 --> 00:15:32,236
Well, it's kind of a
322
00:15:32,237 --> 00:15:33,071
legend, guys.
323
00:15:33,072 --> 00:15:34,738
There are tons of books written
324
00:15:34,739 --> 00:15:35,607
about it.
325
00:15:35,608 --> 00:15:37,574
It's a pretty famous story.
326
00:15:37,575 --> 00:15:40,344
Turkeyologists all over the
327
00:15:40,345 --> 00:15:40,778
world...
328
00:15:40,778 --> 00:15:41,746
Oh, brother.
329
00:15:41,747 --> 00:15:42,779
Know it as
330
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:43,780
Thankskilling.
331
00:15:43,781 --> 00:15:45,549
Let me guess, it's
332
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:48,285
been 505 years later, right?
333
00:15:48,286 --> 00:15:51,922
No.
334
00:15:51,923 --> 00:15:54,725
It will be in 45 minutes.
335
00:15:54,726 --> 00:15:57,928
Come on, I mean, it's
336
00:15:57,929 --> 00:16:00,097
totally impossible for a Turkey
337
00:16:00,098 --> 00:16:02,066
to kill a human...
338
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:02,567
Right?
339
00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:03,900
Yeah, yeah it is.
340
00:16:05,070 --> 00:16:08,139
Oh, there are ways.
341
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:09,540
I guess we'll just have to wait
342
00:16:09,541 --> 00:16:10,242
and find out.
343
00:16:10,243 --> 00:16:11,608
Damn it, you little
344
00:16:11,609 --> 00:16:12,110
weasel.
345
00:16:12,111 --> 00:16:13,544
I told you, this is not cool for
346
00:16:13,545 --> 00:16:15,679
you to scare us like this.
347
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,382
I mean there are girls here.
348
00:16:18,383 --> 00:16:20,284
There sure are.
349
00:16:20,285 --> 00:16:22,586
I'm getting wasted.
350
00:16:22,587 --> 00:16:24,921
Because Kristen told me that I
351
00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:26,023
could have a good time.
352
00:16:26,024 --> 00:16:27,491
No, you're not.
353
00:16:27,492 --> 00:16:29,726
Did you pay for that beer?
354
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:30,761
I don't think so.
355
00:16:30,762 --> 00:16:32,263
Well, uh, since
356
00:16:32,264 --> 00:16:33,997
there are only so many tents, do
357
00:16:33,998 --> 00:16:35,466
you want to spend the night with
358
00:16:35,467 --> 00:16:36,567
me, Johnny?
359
00:16:36,568 --> 00:16:38,835
Gee, Kristen, I'd
360
00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:39,737
love to.
361
00:16:39,738 --> 00:16:42,005
I mean, I could protect you,
362
00:16:42,006 --> 00:16:43,540
just in case you got scared or
363
00:16:43,541 --> 00:16:44,276
something.
364
00:16:44,277 --> 00:16:46,143
I have a free spot in my
365
00:16:46,144 --> 00:16:48,113
tent, too, Johnny.
366
00:16:53,818 --> 00:16:56,987
Flashy?
367
00:16:58,923 --> 00:17:04,795
Flashy?
368
00:17:04,796 --> 00:17:07,831
Flashy!
369
00:17:07,832 --> 00:17:09,300
Your dog had an accident.
370
00:17:09,301 --> 00:17:10,601
What the hell?
371
00:17:10,602 --> 00:17:12,303
What kind of accident?
372
00:17:12,304 --> 00:17:14,405
Well, I took this here ax
373
00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:16,907
and I ax-identally cut him.
374
00:17:16,908 --> 00:17:18,842
Get it? Ax-ident.
375
00:17:19,778 --> 00:17:21,545
Die, Turkey, you
376
00:17:21,546 --> 00:17:23,180
demon!
377
00:17:23,181 --> 00:17:26,117
So long, sucker.
378
00:17:26,118 --> 00:17:27,318
I will get you,
379
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:27,785
Turkey!
380
00:17:27,786 --> 00:17:29,220
I will get you if it's the last
381
00:17:29,221 --> 00:17:30,554
thing I ever do, you son of a
382
00:17:30,555 --> 00:17:33,023
bitch!
383
00:17:33,024 --> 00:17:35,826
Why, why?!
384
00:17:35,827 --> 00:17:39,463
First my wife, now you, Flashy!
385
00:17:39,464 --> 00:17:43,700
Damn you, Turkey, damn you!!
386
00:17:44,769 --> 00:17:45,869
It's getting late.
387
00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:47,604
This was fun, guys,
388
00:17:47,605 --> 00:17:49,373
but I think it's time to hit the
389
00:17:49,374 --> 00:17:49,707
sack.
390
00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:50,907
Then go to bed after
391
00:17:50,908 --> 00:17:51,343
that.
392
00:17:51,343 --> 00:17:52,076
Right, guys?
393
00:17:52,077 --> 00:17:53,444
Yeah! I got it,
394
00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:53,911
Billy.
395
00:17:53,912 --> 00:17:56,813
That was a good one.
396
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:57,349
Shit!
397
00:17:57,350 --> 00:17:58,949
I forgot to call my dad.
398
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,217
Shit, shit, shit.
399
00:18:00,218 --> 00:18:01,652
He's probably worried sick.
400
00:18:01,653 --> 00:18:03,354
I'll be right back, I don't have
401
00:18:03,355 --> 00:18:06,923
service right here.
402
00:18:06,924 --> 00:18:08,091
Be careful.
403
00:18:08,092 --> 00:18:09,693
Yeah, and don't wander
404
00:18:09,694 --> 00:18:10,428
off too far.
405
00:18:10,429 --> 00:18:12,028
There might be an evil Turkey on
406
00:18:12,029 --> 00:18:13,998
the loose.
407
00:18:26,411 --> 00:18:27,578
Where have you been,
408
00:18:27,579 --> 00:18:28,146
Kristen?
409
00:18:28,147 --> 00:18:29,580
I've been waiting around two
410
00:18:29,581 --> 00:18:29,947
hours!
411
00:18:29,948 --> 00:18:31,014
Sorry, Daddy, our
412
00:18:31,015 --> 00:18:32,216
car broke down and we decided to
413
00:18:32,217 --> 00:18:33,317
camp out for the night.
414
00:18:33,318 --> 00:18:34,718
I'll be back on the road first
415
00:18:34,719 --> 00:18:36,220
thing tomorrow though, and I'm
416
00:18:36,221 --> 00:18:37,921
totally fine, so don't worry.
417
00:18:37,922 --> 00:18:40,924
Promise, Punkin?
418
00:18:40,925 --> 00:18:41,493
Punkin?
419
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:43,260
Yes, yes, I promise,
420
00:18:43,261 --> 00:18:44,628
Daddy.
421
00:18:44,629 --> 00:18:45,962
I'll see you tomorrow.
422
00:18:45,963 --> 00:18:47,364
We'll go to that banquet
423
00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:47,999
together.
424
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,099
Be careful.
425
00:18:49,100 --> 00:18:50,467
Love you, bye.
426
00:18:50,468 --> 00:18:51,735
Love you, bye.
427
00:18:51,736 --> 00:18:53,270
Okay, girl, get a
428
00:18:53,271 --> 00:18:53,705
grip.
429
00:18:53,706 --> 00:18:55,206
There is no such thing as an
430
00:18:55,207 --> 00:18:56,240
evil Turkey.
431
00:18:56,241 --> 00:18:58,275
There is no such thing as an
432
00:18:58,276 --> 00:18:59,876
evil Turkey.
433
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:00,612
There's...
434
00:19:00,613 --> 00:19:02,213
No such thing as an evil
435
00:19:02,214 --> 00:19:03,447
Turkey.
436
00:19:03,448 --> 00:19:06,149
Oh, wait, I lied.
437
00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,359
Shut the fuck up!
438
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,461
You stupid bitch!
439
00:19:17,462 --> 00:19:19,296
I'm gonna drink your blood like
440
00:19:19,297 --> 00:19:21,766
cranberry sauce, Meanie.
441
00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:27,671
Jesus, Kristen, what
442
00:19:27,672 --> 00:19:28,306
happened to you?!
443
00:19:28,306 --> 00:19:29,241
You were right,
444
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:29,974
Darren!
445
00:19:29,975 --> 00:19:31,508
Your story was true.
446
00:19:31,509 --> 00:19:33,544
There is an evil Turkey on the
447
00:19:33,545 --> 00:19:35,011
loose!
448
00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:39,850
Wow, Kristen.
449
00:19:39,851 --> 00:19:41,718
You're, like, almost as dumb as
450
00:19:41,719 --> 00:19:42,186
I am.
451
00:19:42,187 --> 00:19:43,754
Yeah, it was just a
452
00:19:43,755 --> 00:19:44,888
story, Kristen.
453
00:19:44,889 --> 00:19:45,956
I doubt it's even true.
454
00:19:45,957 --> 00:19:47,258
Shut up, you guys!
455
00:19:47,259 --> 00:19:49,260
I think she might be serious.
456
00:19:54,131 --> 00:19:55,732
Where's the Turkey?
457
00:19:55,733 --> 00:19:56,833
I don't know.
458
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:57,834
He was right behind me.
459
00:19:57,835 --> 00:19:59,803
He was chasing me.
460
00:19:59,804 --> 00:20:02,406
I don't know where he went.
461
00:20:02,407 --> 00:20:04,341
Well, I don't see
462
00:20:04,342 --> 00:20:05,176
anything.
463
00:20:05,177 --> 00:20:06,710
Let's just go to bed.
464
00:20:06,711 --> 00:20:07,579
Everything's gonna be okay.
465
00:20:07,579 --> 00:20:08,513
You don't believe
466
00:20:08,513 --> 00:20:08,946
me, do you?
467
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:09,881
I do believe you.
468
00:20:09,882 --> 00:20:10,882
Look me in the eyes.
469
00:20:10,883 --> 00:20:12,148
Do you believe me?
470
00:20:12,149 --> 00:20:12,684
I...
471
00:20:12,684 --> 00:20:13,518
Out of everybody
472
00:20:13,518 --> 00:20:14,319
here, I thought you would
473
00:20:14,319 --> 00:20:15,186
believe me!
474
00:20:15,187 --> 00:20:16,720
Screw you, Johnny!
475
00:20:25,697 --> 00:20:26,631
You can screw me,
476
00:20:26,632 --> 00:20:29,600
Johnny.
477
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:32,202
Eeeee!
478
00:20:32,203 --> 00:20:33,504
Whoa!
479
00:20:33,505 --> 00:20:35,672
Oh, look, it's a baby
480
00:20:35,673 --> 00:20:36,408
bunny.
481
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:38,174
Do you think he's okay?
482
00:20:38,175 --> 00:20:40,611
I mean, he looks kind of funny,
483
00:20:40,612 --> 00:20:42,313
doesn't he?
484
00:20:42,314 --> 00:20:43,347
Yeah!
485
00:20:43,348 --> 00:20:45,048
That's because his stomach got
486
00:20:45,049 --> 00:20:46,883
gnawed open.
487
00:20:46,884 --> 00:20:48,919
Look at all of his guts hanging
488
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:49,421
out.
489
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:51,422
This little baby bunny got its
490
00:20:51,423 --> 00:20:54,124
stomach gnawed open by a beak.
491
00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:57,294
Not just any beak...
492
00:20:57,295 --> 00:20:58,762
A Turkey beak.
493
00:20:58,763 --> 00:21:00,697
Fuckballs!
494
00:21:00,698 --> 00:21:03,166
Maybe Kristen was right.
495
00:21:03,167 --> 00:21:04,435
Look, guys.
496
00:21:04,436 --> 00:21:05,769
Just calm the "F" down.
497
00:21:05,770 --> 00:21:07,371
Jesus, we're in the woods.
498
00:21:07,372 --> 00:21:09,105
This type of shit happens all
499
00:21:09,106 --> 00:21:10,206
the time.
500
00:21:10,207 --> 00:21:13,610
Let's just go to bed.
501
00:21:13,611 --> 00:21:17,881
Yeah, demonic turkeys.
502
00:21:17,882 --> 00:21:18,783
Gutted animals.
503
00:21:18,784 --> 00:21:20,116
Yeah, let's sleep on it.
504
00:21:20,117 --> 00:21:21,385
Great idea.
505
00:21:21,386 --> 00:21:24,187
Well, I'm tired.
506
00:21:24,188 --> 00:21:27,157
I'm pretty wasted anyway, so,
507
00:21:27,158 --> 00:21:34,164
uh, goodnight, all.
508
00:21:34,165 --> 00:21:36,767
So, looks like it's
509
00:21:36,768 --> 00:21:41,204
just the two of us.
510
00:21:41,205 --> 00:21:42,873
Don't even think about
511
00:21:42,874 --> 00:21:43,575
it, Billy.
512
00:21:43,576 --> 00:21:45,241
You can feel up your own boobs
513
00:21:45,242 --> 00:21:46,910
tonight.
514
00:21:46,911 --> 00:21:49,245
Well, what about
515
00:21:49,246 --> 00:21:50,313
tomorrow?
516
00:21:50,314 --> 00:21:52,749
I'll think about it.
517
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:55,219
Good night.
518
00:22:13,337 --> 00:22:14,771
Who the hell are you?
519
00:22:14,772 --> 00:22:16,339
You can just call me
520
00:22:16,340 --> 00:22:17,674
your Guardian Angel, Kid.
521
00:22:17,675 --> 00:22:19,342
That damn Turkey come along last
522
00:22:19,343 --> 00:22:20,577
night and was ready to peck your
523
00:22:20,578 --> 00:22:21,645
heart out.
524
00:22:21,646 --> 00:22:22,946
You're crazy!
525
00:22:22,947 --> 00:22:23,715
Am I?
526
00:22:23,716 --> 00:22:24,815
Then what's them Turkey
527
00:22:24,816 --> 00:22:26,149
droppings doing on your chest,
528
00:22:26,150 --> 00:22:27,051
Son?
529
00:22:27,052 --> 00:22:29,219
Oh, gross.
530
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:30,021
Oh, god.
531
00:22:30,022 --> 00:22:32,022
See, I told you.
532
00:22:32,023 --> 00:22:34,425
That goddamn Turkey was out here
533
00:22:34,426 --> 00:22:35,926
last night, killed my precious
534
00:22:35,927 --> 00:22:36,927
dog, Flashy.
535
00:22:36,928 --> 00:22:38,862
I think he's out to get all of
536
00:22:38,863 --> 00:22:39,263
us.
537
00:22:39,264 --> 00:22:41,131
Who the hell is this
538
00:22:41,132 --> 00:22:41,899
Creepster?
539
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:43,099
Buzz off, old man.
540
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:44,601
Trust me, Kid.
541
00:22:44,602 --> 00:22:46,302
Leave this cursed place now.
542
00:22:46,303 --> 00:22:48,104
I'll take care of that goddamn
543
00:22:48,105 --> 00:22:49,105
Turkey.
544
00:22:51,409 --> 00:22:52,843
You all right?
545
00:22:52,844 --> 00:22:54,411
Yeah, I'm fine.
546
00:22:54,412 --> 00:22:56,312
Can we just get the girls up and
547
00:22:56,313 --> 00:22:57,448
get going?
548
00:22:57,449 --> 00:22:59,883
This place is giving me the
549
00:22:59,884 --> 00:23:00,752
Heebie-jeebies.
550
00:23:00,753 --> 00:23:02,285
Yeah, that's good.
551
00:23:02,286 --> 00:23:05,856
Look who's scared now.
552
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,989
Billy! Hurry up!
553
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,795
So, what did that old fart have
554
00:23:44,796 --> 00:23:46,497
to say to you anyway, Billy?
555
00:23:46,498 --> 00:23:48,331
Oh, nothing.
556
00:23:48,332 --> 00:23:49,800
Right.
557
00:23:49,801 --> 00:23:52,102
Was it about a certain killer
558
00:23:52,103 --> 00:23:53,103
Turkey?
559
00:23:53,104 --> 00:23:54,605
No.
560
00:23:54,606 --> 00:23:55,939
Okay, yeah.
561
00:23:55,940 --> 00:23:58,475
So I believe what Kristen said.
562
00:23:58,476 --> 00:24:00,043
Big fucking deal.
563
00:24:00,044 --> 00:24:01,311
Can we just shut up about it?
564
00:24:01,312 --> 00:24:02,846
Oh, my.
565
00:24:02,847 --> 00:24:04,881
Wait, wait, so you actually
566
00:24:04,882 --> 00:24:06,683
believe that there is a real
567
00:24:06,684 --> 00:24:08,218
killer Turkey on the loose?
568
00:24:08,219 --> 00:24:09,620
What a loser, God!
569
00:24:09,621 --> 00:24:11,822
Well, I know it sounds
570
00:24:11,823 --> 00:24:13,156
crazy, but, yeah.
571
00:24:13,157 --> 00:24:15,191
I woke up with Turkey deuce all
572
00:24:15,192 --> 00:24:15,893
over me.
573
00:24:15,894 --> 00:24:17,761
I think he was trying to kill
574
00:24:17,762 --> 00:24:19,630
me, but that old hermit saved
575
00:24:19,631 --> 00:24:20,631
me.
576
00:24:20,632 --> 00:24:23,366
You're a freak, Billy.
577
00:24:23,367 --> 00:24:24,367
A freak!
578
00:24:24,368 --> 00:24:26,670
But I believe your story.
579
00:24:26,671 --> 00:24:27,938
I'm not gonna say
580
00:24:27,939 --> 00:24:28,439
anything.
581
00:24:28,439 --> 00:24:29,206
Wow.
582
00:24:29,207 --> 00:24:30,406
I didn't think that my story
583
00:24:30,407 --> 00:24:31,575
would have this much of an
584
00:24:31,576 --> 00:24:32,909
effect on you guys.
585
00:24:32,910 --> 00:24:34,811
I mean, you're the cool kids,
586
00:24:34,812 --> 00:24:35,379
right?
587
00:24:35,380 --> 00:24:36,647
Whatever.
588
00:24:36,648 --> 00:24:38,414
Can we just go back, enjoy our
589
00:24:38,415 --> 00:24:39,616
families and have a nice
590
00:24:39,617 --> 00:24:41,084
Thanksgiving Break?
591
00:24:41,085 --> 00:24:42,919
Can we just do that? Okay?
592
00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:43,987
Sure, sure.
593
00:24:43,988 --> 00:24:44,856
Good.
594
00:24:44,856 --> 00:24:45,523
God.
595
00:24:45,524 --> 00:24:47,991
You guys and your damn Turkey
596
00:24:47,992 --> 00:24:48,560
stories.
597
00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:49,993
Johnny, I'm sorry
598
00:24:49,994 --> 00:24:51,427
about the things I said last
599
00:24:51,428 --> 00:24:51,896
night.
600
00:24:51,897 --> 00:24:53,263
I guess I was just a little
601
00:24:53,264 --> 00:24:54,731
beaked out... I mean, freaked
602
00:24:54,732 --> 00:24:55,633
out, you know?
603
00:24:55,634 --> 00:24:57,267
No need to apologize,
604
00:24:57,268 --> 00:24:59,236
gorgeous.
605
00:25:11,716 --> 00:25:13,850
♪ Young Johnny Steele has an
606
00:25:13,851 --> 00:25:15,085
Oldsmobile ♪
607
00:25:15,086 --> 00:25:17,153
♪ He loves his dear little
608
00:25:17,154 --> 00:25:18,589
girl ♪
609
00:25:18,590 --> 00:25:20,991
♪ She is the queen of his gas
610
00:25:20,992 --> 00:25:21,793
machine ♪
611
00:25:21,794 --> 00:25:25,128
♪ She has his heart in a whirl
612
00:25:25,129 --> 00:25:26,496
♪ now when they go for a...
613
00:25:26,497 --> 00:25:30,200
Ass, gas, or grass?
614
00:25:30,201 --> 00:25:32,002
Well, I'm out of gas.
615
00:25:32,003 --> 00:25:35,171
Guess I'll take ass.
616
00:25:35,172 --> 00:25:36,940
Mm-hmm.
617
00:25:36,941 --> 00:25:38,609
Now that's what I call a tight
618
00:25:38,610 --> 00:25:40,110
ass.
619
00:25:40,111 --> 00:25:41,111
Yeah.
620
00:25:41,112 --> 00:25:43,747
No. It's not for you.
621
00:25:43,748 --> 00:25:49,686
Or anyone else, for that matter.
622
00:25:49,687 --> 00:25:51,922
Please Mister, please.
623
00:25:51,923 --> 00:25:53,624
I have a daughter.
624
00:25:53,625 --> 00:25:54,592
Call her.
625
00:25:54,593 --> 00:25:55,826
Okay.
626
00:25:55,827 --> 00:25:57,894
♪ To the church, we'll
627
00:25:57,895 --> 00:25:59,663
swiftly steal ♪
628
00:25:59,664 --> 00:26:02,432
♪ Then our wedding bells will
629
00:26:02,433 --> 00:26:04,968
peal ♪
630
00:26:04,969 --> 00:26:05,969
Hi, honey.
631
00:26:05,970 --> 00:26:06,871
It's Daddy.
632
00:26:06,871 --> 00:26:07,471
Ha!
633
00:26:07,472 --> 00:26:09,439
Yeah, Sweetie, I'll be home
634
00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:10,607
real soon.
635
00:26:10,608 --> 00:26:13,143
Sweetie, please give Mommy a
636
00:26:13,144 --> 00:26:17,447
kiss and tell her that...
637
00:26:17,448 --> 00:26:19,182
♪ they love to spark in the
638
00:26:19,183 --> 00:26:20,751
dark old park ♪
639
00:26:20,752 --> 00:26:24,420
♪ As they go flying along
640
00:26:50,648 --> 00:26:52,082
Thanks for driving me,
641
00:26:52,083 --> 00:26:53,149
Johnny.
642
00:26:53,150 --> 00:26:55,418
I really appreciate it.
643
00:26:55,419 --> 00:26:56,720
You should totally call me up
644
00:26:56,721 --> 00:26:57,621
sometime.
645
00:26:57,622 --> 00:26:59,590
I'd love to hang out with you.
646
00:27:06,597 --> 00:27:07,498
Looks like someone is trying to
647
00:27:07,498 --> 00:27:08,165
get with you, Johnny.
648
00:27:08,165 --> 00:27:09,100
Haven't you noticed?
649
00:27:09,101 --> 00:27:10,500
She tries that with everyone.
650
00:27:10,501 --> 00:27:12,068
It's like her legs are harder to
651
00:27:12,069 --> 00:27:13,469
shut than the Jon Benet Ramsey
652
00:27:13,470 --> 00:27:14,504
case.
653
00:27:14,505 --> 00:27:17,140
Oh, shit! Dang!
654
00:27:17,141 --> 00:27:21,277
Damn, that was good.
655
00:27:21,278 --> 00:27:25,215
Bye, guys.
656
00:27:25,216 --> 00:27:27,550
Shit, that was good!
657
00:27:27,551 --> 00:27:28,319
Yeah it was, man.
658
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,419
That was a good one.
659
00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:31,021
Oh, god.
660
00:27:31,022 --> 00:27:33,089
Oh, fuck.
661
00:27:56,580 --> 00:27:57,381
Oh, Johnny.
662
00:27:57,382 --> 00:27:58,382
I was worried sick!
663
00:27:58,383 --> 00:27:59,582
Mom, Mom, I'm
664
00:27:59,583 --> 00:27:59,984
fine.
665
00:27:59,985 --> 00:28:01,151
I'm okay. I'm here now.
666
00:28:01,152 --> 00:28:01,953
That's all that matters.
667
00:28:01,953 --> 00:28:02,619
Now, come on.
668
00:28:02,620 --> 00:28:04,420
Let's go say hi to your father.
669
00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:06,189
Ma, you know me and
670
00:28:06,190 --> 00:28:09,492
papa don't talk anymore.
671
00:28:09,493 --> 00:28:10,626
Ever since I got put as
672
00:28:10,627 --> 00:28:11,995
second-string quarterback, he
673
00:28:11,996 --> 00:28:13,429
hasn't even wanted to talk to
674
00:28:13,430 --> 00:28:14,365
me.
675
00:28:14,366 --> 00:28:15,766
Johnny, that was two whole
676
00:28:15,767 --> 00:28:16,400
weeks ago.
677
00:28:16,401 --> 00:28:17,533
I'm sure he's over it.
678
00:28:17,534 --> 00:28:18,935
If you say so, Ma.
679
00:28:18,936 --> 00:28:23,907
If you say so.
680
00:28:23,908 --> 00:28:25,909
Hey, Pops.
681
00:28:25,910 --> 00:28:29,880
Hey. Long time no see.
682
00:28:29,881 --> 00:28:30,647
How are you?
683
00:28:30,648 --> 00:28:31,748
I'm good.
684
00:28:31,749 --> 00:28:33,549
Um, yourself?
685
00:28:39,390 --> 00:28:44,895
Please, Bill, he's our son.
686
00:28:44,896 --> 00:28:46,262
I'm gonna just lie
687
00:28:46,263 --> 00:28:46,730
to him.
688
00:28:46,731 --> 00:28:49,066
No, Johnny, no. Please.
689
00:29:15,827 --> 00:29:18,394
Pops, I have some
690
00:29:18,395 --> 00:29:19,462
great news.
691
00:29:19,463 --> 00:29:20,331
Yeah?
692
00:29:20,332 --> 00:29:22,165
I-I did it.
693
00:29:22,166 --> 00:29:24,634
I'm the starting quarterback for
694
00:29:24,635 --> 00:29:26,502
the Tritons.
695
00:29:26,503 --> 00:29:27,971
You are?
696
00:29:27,972 --> 00:29:28,906
Yeah.
697
00:29:28,907 --> 00:29:30,006
Good going, Son.
698
00:29:30,007 --> 00:29:31,074
I knew you could do it.
699
00:29:31,075 --> 00:29:32,242
I knew you had it in you.
700
00:29:32,243 --> 00:29:33,543
Just like your old Pops.
701
00:29:33,544 --> 00:29:34,710
I did, too.
702
00:29:34,711 --> 00:29:35,579
I love you, Dad.
703
00:29:35,580 --> 00:29:37,047
You're the best son anyone
704
00:29:37,048 --> 00:29:38,114
could ask for.
705
00:29:38,115 --> 00:29:42,085
Enough of this bonding crap!
706
00:29:42,086 --> 00:29:44,520
Dad!
707
00:29:44,521 --> 00:29:46,489
Dad!
708
00:29:46,490 --> 00:29:48,459
Go deep, Johnny.
709
00:30:02,139 --> 00:30:06,242
Why, God, why?
710
00:30:06,243 --> 00:30:08,778
No more pumpkin pie.
711
00:30:08,779 --> 00:30:11,814
No more cranberry sauce.
712
00:30:11,815 --> 00:30:13,816
Just Turkey.
713
00:30:13,817 --> 00:30:17,888
Fucking Turkey.
714
00:30:17,889 --> 00:30:19,222
I'm gonna kill that son of a
715
00:30:19,223 --> 00:30:20,091
bitch.
716
00:30:20,092 --> 00:30:23,259
He is fucking dead!
717
00:30:23,260 --> 00:30:24,427
Come on, Baby.
718
00:30:24,428 --> 00:30:25,528
Let's do it right here.
719
00:30:25,529 --> 00:30:26,363
Are you sure?
720
00:30:26,364 --> 00:30:27,797
Your parents are right in there.
721
00:30:27,798 --> 00:30:29,232
It's okay, they're cool
722
00:30:29,233 --> 00:30:32,468
with it.
723
00:30:32,469 --> 00:30:33,703
And why are we all at
724
00:30:33,704 --> 00:30:35,271
my house again?
725
00:30:35,272 --> 00:30:40,110
Well, guys...
726
00:30:40,111 --> 00:30:42,946
I think you deserve to know.
727
00:30:42,947 --> 00:30:44,447
That Turkey...
728
00:30:44,448 --> 00:30:45,781
He...
729
00:30:45,782 --> 00:30:48,418
He's real.
730
00:30:48,419 --> 00:30:50,387
He killed my parents.
731
00:31:00,364 --> 00:31:02,632
Mmm, mmm.
732
00:31:02,633 --> 00:31:04,234
Pink pumpkin pie.
733
00:31:07,071 --> 00:31:08,604
Where's Ali?
734
00:31:08,605 --> 00:31:09,872
I called her and left a message.
735
00:31:09,873 --> 00:31:11,041
We need to warn her about that
736
00:31:11,042 --> 00:31:14,477
Turkey.
737
00:31:20,017 --> 00:31:26,889
Yeah.
738
00:31:30,394 --> 00:31:31,394
God damn it, Grant.
739
00:31:31,395 --> 00:31:32,929
You really don't last that long,
740
00:31:32,930 --> 00:31:35,898
do you?
741
00:31:35,899 --> 00:31:40,003
Oh, yeah.
742
00:31:40,004 --> 00:31:42,572
Yeah, yeah!
743
00:31:42,573 --> 00:31:43,507
Grant?
744
00:31:43,508 --> 00:31:44,907
You sound kind of funny.
745
00:31:44,908 --> 00:31:45,609
You okay?
746
00:31:45,610 --> 00:31:47,310
I'm gonna fuck the shit out
747
00:31:47,311 --> 00:31:48,311
of you!
748
00:31:50,714 --> 00:31:54,617
Ohh!
749
00:31:54,618 --> 00:31:57,520
Damn, that was good.
750
00:31:57,521 --> 00:31:59,722
You just got stuffed!
751
00:32:19,876 --> 00:32:21,511
Wait here, guys.
752
00:32:21,512 --> 00:32:23,314
I'll go get her.
753
00:32:27,218 --> 00:32:28,384
Do you think we made
754
00:32:28,385 --> 00:32:28,919
it in time?
755
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:30,153
Don't even talk like
756
00:32:30,154 --> 00:32:30,721
that, Billy.
757
00:32:30,722 --> 00:32:32,955
At least her legs
758
00:32:32,956 --> 00:32:34,957
were harder to close than
759
00:32:34,958 --> 00:32:37,594
Jon Benet Ramsey's legs.
760
00:32:40,831 --> 00:32:42,498
Is she? Is she?
761
00:32:42,499 --> 00:32:44,000
Yes, guys, she's
762
00:32:44,001 --> 00:32:46,169
dead.
763
00:32:46,170 --> 00:32:49,172
I found this in there, too.
764
00:32:49,173 --> 00:32:50,473
And this.
765
00:32:50,474 --> 00:32:53,676
An extra small gravy-flavored
766
00:32:53,677 --> 00:32:56,346
condom.
767
00:32:56,347 --> 00:32:58,248
Son of a bitch.
768
00:32:58,249 --> 00:33:00,383
She was finally warming up to
769
00:33:00,384 --> 00:33:04,354
me, too.
770
00:33:04,355 --> 00:33:05,888
We've got to find a way to kill
771
00:33:05,889 --> 00:33:10,960
that cock-blocking Turkey.
772
00:33:10,961 --> 00:33:12,728
What? No!
773
00:33:12,729 --> 00:33:15,131
I don't know how to kill this
774
00:33:15,132 --> 00:33:15,632
Turkey.
775
00:33:15,633 --> 00:33:16,966
I mean, hell, he's survived
776
00:33:16,967 --> 00:33:18,434
everything that we've thrown at
777
00:33:18,435 --> 00:33:18,802
him.
778
00:33:18,802 --> 00:33:19,536
No!
779
00:33:19,537 --> 00:33:20,970
We haven't done anything to stop
780
00:33:20,971 --> 00:33:21,971
him yet.
781
00:33:21,972 --> 00:33:24,507
Oh, yeah.
782
00:33:24,508 --> 00:33:27,977
Well, there's only one way to
783
00:33:27,978 --> 00:33:28,945
kill him.
784
00:33:28,946 --> 00:33:31,547
Remember all of those books that
785
00:33:31,548 --> 00:33:33,183
I was telling you that were
786
00:33:33,184 --> 00:33:35,085
written about about this Turkey?
787
00:33:35,086 --> 00:33:36,319
Yeah, so?
788
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,221
Well, fuck, Billy, we
789
00:33:38,222 --> 00:33:39,289
go to the library.
790
00:33:39,290 --> 00:33:40,923
No, that's not gonna
791
00:33:40,924 --> 00:33:41,392
work.
792
00:33:41,393 --> 00:33:43,059
All the libraries are closed at
793
00:33:43,060 --> 00:33:44,094
this time of night.
794
00:33:44,095 --> 00:33:45,528
Hey, guys, I just
795
00:33:45,529 --> 00:33:46,629
thought of something.
796
00:33:46,630 --> 00:33:48,131
My dad has a huge collection of
797
00:33:48,132 --> 00:33:48,465
books.
798
00:33:48,465 --> 00:33:49,400
I'm sure he has something on
799
00:33:49,401 --> 00:33:50,866
killer turkeys.
800
00:33:50,867 --> 00:33:52,001
That could work.
801
00:33:52,002 --> 00:33:52,969
Yeah, true.
802
00:33:52,969 --> 00:33:53,804
Let's do it, guys.
803
00:33:53,805 --> 00:33:54,937
Let's go get that son of a
804
00:33:54,938 --> 00:33:56,907
bitch.
805
00:34:07,318 --> 00:34:09,585
Hey.
806
00:34:09,586 --> 00:34:11,154
Bills.
807
00:34:11,155 --> 00:34:13,323
Bills.
808
00:34:13,324 --> 00:34:14,690
Bills.
809
00:34:14,691 --> 00:34:17,760
Hey.
810
00:34:17,761 --> 00:34:18,761
Hey!
811
00:34:18,762 --> 00:34:20,731
I got to get dressed!
812
00:34:27,504 --> 00:34:29,105
Hello there.
813
00:34:29,106 --> 00:34:32,842
Hello? Those darn kids.
814
00:34:33,844 --> 00:34:34,745
Down here.
815
00:34:34,746 --> 00:34:36,879
Oh, well, hello there,
816
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:37,714
Little Buddy.
817
00:34:37,715 --> 00:34:38,981
What can I do you for?
818
00:34:38,982 --> 00:34:39,750
Yeah.
819
00:34:39,751 --> 00:34:43,319
Um, I'm looking for Kelsey.
820
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:44,354
You mean Kristen?
821
00:34:44,355 --> 00:34:45,755
Are you a friend of hers?
822
00:34:45,756 --> 00:34:46,257
Yeah.
823
00:34:46,258 --> 00:34:47,590
Well I'd never known
824
00:34:47,591 --> 00:34:48,824
that she had a midget for a
825
00:34:48,825 --> 00:34:52,195
buddy.
826
00:34:52,196 --> 00:34:53,663
You want to come in and wait on
827
00:34:53,664 --> 00:34:55,132
her?
828
00:35:08,413 --> 00:35:13,749
Bless you.
829
00:35:13,750 --> 00:35:16,118
Allergy season, you know?
830
00:35:16,119 --> 00:35:18,688
Fucking weather.
831
00:35:18,689 --> 00:35:19,656
But it was nice today, huh?
832
00:35:19,656 --> 00:35:20,557
Did you just say
833
00:35:20,558 --> 00:35:22,592
"Fucking"?
834
00:35:22,593 --> 00:35:23,759
What do you mean?
835
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,328
Is that supposed to mean that
836
00:35:25,329 --> 00:35:26,896
midgets can't cuss?
837
00:35:26,897 --> 00:35:29,232
I wasn't worried about
838
00:35:29,233 --> 00:35:30,866
the size of the "Fuck," I was
839
00:35:30,867 --> 00:35:32,468
worried about the age of the
840
00:35:32,469 --> 00:35:33,337
"Fuck."
841
00:35:33,338 --> 00:35:36,071
How old are you?
842
00:35:36,072 --> 00:35:40,676
510 years old.
843
00:35:40,677 --> 00:35:41,777
Fuck it then, I guess
844
00:35:41,778 --> 00:35:45,348
you can say it.
845
00:35:45,349 --> 00:35:46,549
Hazelnut?
846
00:35:46,550 --> 00:35:49,018
Yep.
847
00:35:49,019 --> 00:35:50,586
Well, I'm not gonna lie.
848
00:35:50,587 --> 00:35:52,222
This is pretty damn awkward,
849
00:35:52,223 --> 00:35:53,256
Sheriff.
850
00:35:53,257 --> 00:35:54,590
I'm going to take off now.
851
00:35:54,591 --> 00:35:56,025
Say hello to Kristen for me,
852
00:35:56,026 --> 00:35:56,460
okay?
853
00:35:56,461 --> 00:35:57,727
Oh, no problem.
854
00:35:57,728 --> 00:35:59,395
I am a big proponent of you
855
00:35:59,396 --> 00:36:00,297
little guys.
856
00:36:00,298 --> 00:36:01,931
I think y'all been treated
857
00:36:01,932 --> 00:36:03,165
wrong.
858
00:36:03,166 --> 00:36:05,935
One more word and I swear to
859
00:36:05,936 --> 00:36:07,136
God!
860
00:36:07,137 --> 00:36:08,471
What did you say?
861
00:36:08,472 --> 00:36:09,905
Nothing. Nothing at all.
862
00:36:09,906 --> 00:36:11,374
Have a good night, Sheriff.
863
00:36:11,375 --> 00:36:12,942
All right, Pal.
864
00:36:12,943 --> 00:36:13,943
You take care.
865
00:36:13,944 --> 00:36:18,481
Man, what an odd little duck.
866
00:36:18,482 --> 00:36:20,416
All right, that does it.
867
00:36:28,859 --> 00:36:30,360
I hope we get there
868
00:36:30,361 --> 00:36:32,795
before he gets to my dad, too.
869
00:36:32,796 --> 00:36:34,029
Well, maybe he can
870
00:36:34,030 --> 00:36:34,531
help us.
871
00:36:34,531 --> 00:36:35,432
I mean, he is a cop.
872
00:36:35,433 --> 00:36:38,402
Okay, right there.
873
00:36:40,771 --> 00:36:42,071
And there... that's the house.
874
00:36:42,072 --> 00:36:43,205
Yeah, I know, I
875
00:36:43,206 --> 00:36:43,707
remember.
876
00:36:43,708 --> 00:36:45,007
I dropped you off last night,
877
00:36:45,008 --> 00:36:45,409
Kristen.
878
00:36:45,410 --> 00:36:49,144
Oh, right.
879
00:36:59,656 --> 00:37:02,258
Oh, hello, Sweetie.
880
00:37:02,259 --> 00:37:02,993
How are you?
881
00:37:02,994 --> 00:37:05,828
Daddy!
882
00:37:05,829 --> 00:37:08,798
You look different.
883
00:37:08,799 --> 00:37:09,500
Oh.
884
00:37:09,501 --> 00:37:11,467
Oh, you got a
885
00:37:11,468 --> 00:37:12,135
haircut.
886
00:37:12,136 --> 00:37:14,169
Yeah!
887
00:37:14,170 --> 00:37:15,838
Aren't you gonna introduce me
888
00:37:15,839 --> 00:37:16,872
to your friends?
889
00:37:16,873 --> 00:37:18,240
Of course.
890
00:37:18,241 --> 00:37:19,241
This is Johnny.
891
00:37:19,242 --> 00:37:20,976
Hey, how you doing?
892
00:37:20,977 --> 00:37:22,044
And Darren.
893
00:37:22,045 --> 00:37:23,546
Happy Thanksgiving,
894
00:37:23,547 --> 00:37:24,147
Sheriff.
895
00:37:24,148 --> 00:37:25,348
And Billy.
896
00:37:25,349 --> 00:37:26,582
Hi.
897
00:37:26,583 --> 00:37:27,451
How are you guys?
898
00:37:27,452 --> 00:37:28,718
Dad, we need to use
899
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:29,752
your collection of books.
900
00:37:29,753 --> 00:37:31,053
Would you mind showing us to the
901
00:37:31,054 --> 00:37:31,888
garage?
902
00:37:31,889 --> 00:37:34,056
Um, of course, yeah, no
903
00:37:34,057 --> 00:37:35,658
problem at all.
904
00:37:35,659 --> 00:37:36,759
I mean...
905
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,294
Where is it again, Honey?
906
00:37:38,295 --> 00:37:39,962
Oh, Dad, you and
907
00:37:39,963 --> 00:37:41,932
your rapidly fading memory.
908
00:37:50,907 --> 00:37:53,609
Excuse me, Sir.
909
00:37:53,610 --> 00:37:55,044
Well, guys, here it
910
00:37:55,045 --> 00:37:55,379
is.
911
00:37:55,380 --> 00:37:56,779
I'm sure we'll be able to find
912
00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:58,749
something in here.
913
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,821
What is it that you kids are
914
00:38:05,822 --> 00:38:06,457
looking for?
915
00:38:06,458 --> 00:38:07,590
Well, actually,
916
00:38:07,591 --> 00:38:08,758
Sheriff, there's this book
917
00:38:08,759 --> 00:38:09,225
that...
918
00:38:09,226 --> 00:38:10,593
Oh, nothing, Daddy.
919
00:38:10,594 --> 00:38:12,862
I got Poison Ivy yesterday and
920
00:38:12,863 --> 00:38:14,296
I'm looking for a cure.
921
00:38:14,297 --> 00:38:16,732
Oh, okay, good luck now,
922
00:38:16,733 --> 00:38:17,501
Kids.
923
00:38:17,502 --> 00:38:19,835
Thanks, Daddy.
924
00:38:19,836 --> 00:38:23,739
I'd die if wasn't for you.
925
00:38:23,740 --> 00:38:25,975
More like you will die if it
926
00:38:25,976 --> 00:38:27,510
was for me.
927
00:38:27,511 --> 00:38:28,778
What was that,
928
00:38:28,779 --> 00:38:29,245
Daddy?
929
00:38:29,246 --> 00:38:31,715
Oh, nothing at all.
930
00:38:35,118 --> 00:38:36,486
So, Kristen, tell me,
931
00:38:36,487 --> 00:38:37,787
why didn't you tell your father
932
00:38:37,788 --> 00:38:38,954
about the killer Turkey?
933
00:38:38,955 --> 00:38:40,322
Maybe 'cause he'd
934
00:38:40,323 --> 00:38:41,557
never believe us in a million
935
00:38:41,558 --> 00:38:41,958
years.
936
00:38:41,959 --> 00:38:43,125
I was just trying to avoid a
937
00:38:43,126 --> 00:38:44,259
long conversation.
938
00:38:44,260 --> 00:38:45,195
That's right.
939
00:38:45,195 --> 00:38:45,929
That makes sense.
940
00:38:45,930 --> 00:38:46,962
All right, guys,
941
00:38:46,963 --> 00:38:48,932
let's get to work.
942
00:39:46,222 --> 00:39:50,392
Guys, I found it.
943
00:39:50,393 --> 00:39:51,961
It's about time.
944
00:39:51,962 --> 00:39:53,328
God, that took forever.
945
00:39:53,329 --> 00:39:54,830
That was five
946
00:39:54,831 --> 00:39:55,466
minutes.
947
00:39:55,467 --> 00:39:56,832
Whoa, guys.
948
00:39:56,833 --> 00:39:58,634
Look... right here, it says the
949
00:39:58,635 --> 00:40:00,102
Turkey can be killed if he is
950
00:40:00,103 --> 00:40:01,370
removed from his magical
951
00:40:01,371 --> 00:40:02,005
talisman.
952
00:40:02,006 --> 00:40:03,639
I don't know, guys.
953
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,174
I never noticed any magical
954
00:40:05,175 --> 00:40:05,709
talisman.
955
00:40:05,710 --> 00:40:07,109
He probably keeps it
956
00:40:07,110 --> 00:40:08,644
hidden under his feathers.
957
00:40:08,645 --> 00:40:10,279
No, Kristen, I think
958
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,514
you're exactly right.
959
00:40:11,515 --> 00:40:13,082
Look... this is what it says.
960
00:40:13,083 --> 00:40:14,717
If the talisman is not in plain
961
00:40:14,718 --> 00:40:16,486
view, then it is very probable
962
00:40:16,487 --> 00:40:18,287
that the Turkey keeps it in his
963
00:40:18,288 --> 00:40:20,322
plumage.
964
00:40:20,323 --> 00:40:21,057
Great.
965
00:40:21,058 --> 00:40:22,257
All we have to do is catch him,
966
00:40:22,258 --> 00:40:24,660
remove his stupid thingie, and
967
00:40:24,661 --> 00:40:25,095
he's dead?
968
00:40:25,095 --> 00:40:26,062
I think we still
969
00:40:26,062 --> 00:40:27,030
have to kill him.
970
00:40:27,031 --> 00:40:28,531
Darren, does it say if there's
971
00:40:28,532 --> 00:40:30,600
some special way to that?
972
00:40:30,601 --> 00:40:31,734
See, that's the
973
00:40:31,735 --> 00:40:32,202
problem.
974
00:40:32,203 --> 00:40:33,536
The rest of this book is written
975
00:40:33,537 --> 00:40:37,006
in code.
976
00:40:37,007 --> 00:40:41,310
It's a mathematical code, so I
977
00:40:41,311 --> 00:40:42,845
think I can crack it.
978
00:40:42,846 --> 00:40:44,914
No, I know I can crack it.
979
00:40:44,915 --> 00:40:48,150
God, I hate books.
980
00:40:48,151 --> 00:40:50,820
Can't it just tell us what to
981
00:40:50,821 --> 00:40:53,322
do?
982
00:40:53,323 --> 00:40:54,924
Kristen, do you have any snacks
983
00:40:54,925 --> 00:40:55,659
or anything?
984
00:40:55,659 --> 00:40:56,292
I'm starving.
985
00:40:56,292 --> 00:40:57,193
I don't know, Billy.
986
00:40:57,194 --> 00:40:58,427
How can you be thinking about
987
00:40:58,428 --> 00:41:00,229
food at a time like this?
988
00:41:00,230 --> 00:41:02,231
Well, I'm hungry.
989
00:41:02,232 --> 00:41:04,066
Billy, just go
990
00:41:04,067 --> 00:41:05,635
outside or something.
991
00:41:05,636 --> 00:41:07,402
Go find something to eat.
992
00:41:07,403 --> 00:41:11,674
We'll figure this out.
993
00:41:11,675 --> 00:41:13,108
You got it yet?
994
00:41:13,109 --> 00:41:14,109
Just...
995
00:41:15,612 --> 00:41:17,312
Hurry up.
996
00:41:17,313 --> 00:41:18,949
Johnny.
997
00:41:21,952 --> 00:41:23,619
Where is the fucking
998
00:41:23,620 --> 00:41:24,254
kitchen?
999
00:41:24,255 --> 00:41:28,423
I'm fucking starving.
1000
00:41:28,424 --> 00:41:31,061
I just want some food.
1001
00:41:33,463 --> 00:41:37,633
Oh, hey, Sheriff.
1002
00:41:37,634 --> 00:41:38,768
What you got there?
1003
00:41:38,769 --> 00:41:40,069
Oh, just tidying up.
1004
00:41:40,070 --> 00:41:42,638
Nothing to see here.
1005
00:41:42,639 --> 00:41:44,874
If that's the Sheriff,
1006
00:41:44,875 --> 00:41:47,643
then you must be Turkey!
1007
00:41:47,644 --> 00:41:52,047
Guys!
1008
00:41:52,048 --> 00:41:52,949
Come on, come quick, the
1009
00:41:52,950 --> 00:41:56,619
Turkey's here!
1010
00:41:58,755 --> 00:42:01,423
You kids are retarded.
1011
00:42:01,424 --> 00:42:02,592
Leave us alone!
1012
00:42:02,593 --> 00:42:03,693
Why are you bothering us?!
1013
00:42:03,694 --> 00:42:04,927
Daddy, no!
1014
00:42:04,928 --> 00:42:06,862
Shut up, I do the talking,
1015
00:42:06,863 --> 00:42:07,530
faggot.
1016
00:42:07,531 --> 00:42:09,364
A long time ago, one of your
1017
00:42:09,365 --> 00:42:11,066
ancestors disrespected our
1018
00:42:11,067 --> 00:42:13,569
people really, really badly.
1019
00:42:13,570 --> 00:42:15,337
And so as payback, I'm here to
1020
00:42:15,338 --> 00:42:16,906
kill any white person that
1021
00:42:16,907 --> 00:42:19,508
disrespects Indians or our land.
1022
00:42:19,509 --> 00:42:21,744
But we gave your
1023
00:42:21,745 --> 00:42:23,846
people land, and we let you have
1024
00:42:23,847 --> 00:42:24,547
casinos.
1025
00:42:24,548 --> 00:42:26,348
Doesn't that make up for what
1026
00:42:26,349 --> 00:42:27,449
our ancestors did?
1027
00:42:28,885 --> 00:42:31,787
It almost did, but it didn't.
1028
00:42:31,788 --> 00:42:36,892
Prepare to be dead!
1029
00:42:36,893 --> 00:42:38,060
You fat bastard!
1030
00:42:38,061 --> 00:42:39,895
Quit just standing
1031
00:42:39,896 --> 00:42:41,764
there, guys, grab his fucking
1032
00:42:41,765 --> 00:42:45,668
thingie!
1033
00:42:45,669 --> 00:42:46,369
Got it!
1034
00:42:46,370 --> 00:42:47,402
Now what do we do,
1035
00:42:47,403 --> 00:42:47,771
Darren?
1036
00:42:47,771 --> 00:42:48,639
I don't know!
1037
00:42:48,639 --> 00:42:49,539
I haven't figured out the
1038
00:42:49,540 --> 00:42:50,940
equation yet!
1039
00:42:52,609 --> 00:42:53,276
God damn it!
1040
00:42:53,277 --> 00:42:56,078
Douche bags!
1041
00:42:56,079 --> 00:42:57,579
All that work for
1042
00:42:57,580 --> 00:42:58,214
nothing?
1043
00:42:58,215 --> 00:42:59,615
You guys suck sometimes.
1044
00:42:59,616 --> 00:43:01,083
It wasn't for
1045
00:43:01,084 --> 00:43:02,052
nothing, Billy.
1046
00:43:02,053 --> 00:43:03,318
We got the talisman.
1047
00:43:03,319 --> 00:43:04,854
Now we can kill him.
1048
00:43:04,855 --> 00:43:07,022
God, I'm so tired of
1049
00:43:07,023 --> 00:43:09,224
this stupid Turkey just playing
1050
00:43:09,225 --> 00:43:10,926
games with us, like we're some
1051
00:43:10,927 --> 00:43:11,927
kind of puppets.
1052
00:43:11,928 --> 00:43:15,164
Whatever, I'm out of here.
1053
00:43:15,165 --> 00:43:16,866
Be careful, Billy,
1054
00:43:16,867 --> 00:43:18,367
you know he's still out there.
1055
00:43:18,368 --> 00:43:20,002
Well... he's dead.
1056
00:43:20,003 --> 00:43:21,603
Don't say stupid
1057
00:43:21,604 --> 00:43:22,604
shit like that.
1058
00:43:22,605 --> 00:43:26,541
Now, Darren, do your magic.
1059
00:43:26,542 --> 00:43:28,511
All right.
1060
00:43:43,994 --> 00:43:45,494
I'm sorry for your
1061
00:43:45,495 --> 00:43:48,597
loss, Kristen.
1062
00:43:48,598 --> 00:43:50,232
I'm sorry that we were even
1063
00:43:50,233 --> 00:43:53,769
thrown into this mess.
1064
00:43:53,770 --> 00:43:56,806
Things will never be the same
1065
00:43:56,807 --> 00:43:59,508
again.
1066
00:43:59,509 --> 00:44:02,344
It's all my fault.
1067
00:44:02,345 --> 00:44:03,846
It's not your fault.
1068
00:44:03,847 --> 00:44:05,180
There are just some things in
1069
00:44:05,181 --> 00:44:06,648
life we can't control.
1070
00:44:06,649 --> 00:44:08,684
And unfortunately, this is isn't
1071
00:44:08,685 --> 00:44:09,985
like a football game where we
1072
00:44:09,986 --> 00:44:11,386
can just call an audible at any
1073
00:44:11,387 --> 00:44:12,454
time.
1074
00:44:12,455 --> 00:44:13,723
You're right.
1075
00:44:13,724 --> 00:44:17,459
Life is not like a playbook.
1076
00:44:17,460 --> 00:44:20,963
I just got to roll with it.
1077
00:44:20,964 --> 00:44:22,231
Life moves on.
1078
00:44:22,232 --> 00:44:24,734
I just wanted to let
1079
00:44:24,735 --> 00:44:27,169
you know, Johnny, that I really
1080
00:44:27,170 --> 00:44:29,404
appreciate everything you've
1081
00:44:29,405 --> 00:44:30,373
done for us.
1082
00:44:30,374 --> 00:44:32,307
You can be my quarterback any
1083
00:44:32,308 --> 00:44:33,043
day.
1084
00:44:33,044 --> 00:44:34,443
Oh, Kristen.
1085
00:44:34,444 --> 00:44:36,178
Hey, guys... whoa.
1086
00:44:36,179 --> 00:44:40,750
Hey, guys, whoa, um, I cracked
1087
00:44:40,751 --> 00:44:41,384
the code.
1088
00:44:41,385 --> 00:44:42,885
I know how to kill the Turkey
1089
00:44:42,886 --> 00:44:43,319
now.
1090
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,954
So, what does it
1091
00:44:44,955 --> 00:44:46,789
say? Well, basically it tells me
1092
00:44:46,790 --> 00:44:48,457
everything we need to know to
1093
00:44:48,458 --> 00:44:49,359
kill him.
1094
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,794
And I'm just figuring that's why
1095
00:44:51,795 --> 00:44:53,128
the code was so hard to break.
1096
00:44:53,129 --> 00:44:54,329
Okay, Darren, you
1097
00:44:54,330 --> 00:44:55,630
haven't told us anything yet.
1098
00:44:55,631 --> 00:44:57,632
Oh, right.
1099
00:44:57,633 --> 00:45:00,502
Okay, so, we need to burn him at
1100
00:45:00,503 --> 00:45:02,671
the stake, just like a witch.
1101
00:45:02,672 --> 00:45:04,539
And then we need to say a
1102
00:45:04,540 --> 00:45:06,341
demonic prayer in unison
1103
00:45:06,342 --> 00:45:07,509
backwards.
1104
00:45:07,510 --> 00:45:08,778
Just the usual thing.
1105
00:45:08,779 --> 00:45:09,779
Damn!
1106
00:45:09,780 --> 00:45:11,781
This shit is not gonna be easy.
1107
00:45:11,782 --> 00:45:13,048
No shit, it's not
1108
00:45:13,049 --> 00:45:13,817
gonna be easy.
1109
00:45:13,818 --> 00:45:15,317
He was necromanced by one of the
1110
00:45:15,318 --> 00:45:16,485
most powerful Indians in
1111
00:45:16,486 --> 00:45:17,753
history.
1112
00:45:17,754 --> 00:45:19,054
We got to do what we
1113
00:45:19,055 --> 00:45:19,589
got to do.
1114
00:45:19,590 --> 00:45:20,790
First thing we have
1115
00:45:20,791 --> 00:45:21,991
to do is find out where this
1116
00:45:21,992 --> 00:45:22,859
Turkey's at.
1117
00:45:22,860 --> 00:45:24,794
It says here, "If the
1118
00:45:24,795 --> 00:45:26,561
Turkey is nowhere to be seen,
1119
00:45:26,562 --> 00:45:28,430
it's likely he's returned to his
1120
00:45:28,431 --> 00:45:28,999
teepee."
1121
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:30,532
Shit, there can't be
1122
00:45:30,533 --> 00:45:32,034
that many teepees in town, can
1123
00:45:32,035 --> 00:45:32,668
there?
1124
00:45:32,669 --> 00:45:34,303
Let's go blitz his ass.
1125
00:45:34,304 --> 00:45:36,305
"However, if he is
1126
00:45:36,306 --> 00:45:38,607
not in the teepee, he's killing
1127
00:45:38,608 --> 00:45:40,976
one of your friends."
1128
00:45:40,977 --> 00:45:42,612
Billy!
1129
00:45:49,886 --> 00:45:50,920
Sucker.
1130
00:45:50,921 --> 00:45:54,289
So hungry.
1131
00:45:54,290 --> 00:45:56,058
God damn.
1132
00:45:56,059 --> 00:45:57,592
Oh, Billy!
1133
00:45:57,593 --> 00:45:59,228
Billy, Billy, Billy, come
1134
00:45:59,229 --> 00:46:01,931
eat me!
1135
00:46:01,932 --> 00:46:04,033
Come eat me, Billy.
1136
00:46:04,034 --> 00:46:07,003
I taste real good.
1137
00:46:23,253 --> 00:46:24,553
That hit the spot.
1138
00:46:43,006 --> 00:46:44,975
Oh!
1139
00:46:50,746 --> 00:46:53,648
Gobble, gobble, motherfucker.
1140
00:46:53,649 --> 00:46:56,251
Now that's what I call "Fowl"
1141
00:46:56,252 --> 00:46:57,252
play.
1142
00:47:08,331 --> 00:47:09,731
I think we're too
1143
00:47:09,732 --> 00:47:10,366
late.
1144
00:47:10,367 --> 00:47:12,001
Holy shit!
1145
00:47:12,002 --> 00:47:13,302
Guys, pull over!
1146
00:47:13,303 --> 00:47:14,170
Pull over, there's Billy!
1147
00:47:14,171 --> 00:47:15,871
There's Billy, pull over, God
1148
00:47:15,872 --> 00:47:18,707
damn it!
1149
00:47:18,708 --> 00:47:22,444
No! Billy!
1150
00:47:22,445 --> 00:47:24,613
Billy!
1151
00:47:24,614 --> 00:47:27,282
My Buddy, my Best Friend!
1152
00:47:27,283 --> 00:47:30,219
No, you can't go like this!
1153
00:47:30,220 --> 00:47:32,654
Billy, you can't go like this,
1154
00:47:32,655 --> 00:47:33,889
man.
1155
00:47:33,890 --> 00:47:37,292
It's okay.
1156
00:47:37,293 --> 00:47:40,263
You're one of the cool kids now.
1157
00:47:43,066 --> 00:47:44,566
It's not even that
1158
00:47:44,567 --> 00:47:45,901
bad, Billy.
1159
00:47:45,902 --> 00:47:48,503
I am one of the cool kids,
1160
00:47:48,504 --> 00:47:49,871
because of you.
1161
00:47:49,872 --> 00:47:52,074
Because of you, I'm one of the
1162
00:47:52,075 --> 00:47:52,875
cool kids!
1163
00:47:52,876 --> 00:47:54,309
You're my best friend.
1164
00:47:54,310 --> 00:47:56,245
We've been through good and bad
1165
00:47:56,246 --> 00:47:57,113
times.
1166
00:47:57,114 --> 00:47:59,714
Good and bad times together,
1167
00:47:59,715 --> 00:48:00,250
Billy.
1168
00:48:00,251 --> 00:48:01,951
It's not gonna end like this.
1169
00:48:01,952 --> 00:48:03,752
There's gonna be many more good
1170
00:48:03,753 --> 00:48:04,487
times.
1171
00:48:04,488 --> 00:48:06,922
And we're not gonna let there be
1172
00:48:06,923 --> 00:48:08,924
a lot of bad times.
1173
00:48:08,925 --> 00:48:11,093
You're my best friend.
1174
00:48:11,094 --> 00:48:13,095
I'm going to fucking kill that
1175
00:48:13,096 --> 00:48:14,229
goddamn Turkey.
1176
00:48:14,230 --> 00:48:18,467
I swear to fucking god.
1177
00:48:18,468 --> 00:48:20,135
Billy!
1178
00:48:20,136 --> 00:48:22,304
Billy, no, you can't go!
1179
00:48:22,305 --> 00:48:25,907
It's not even that bad.
1180
00:48:25,908 --> 00:48:28,477
It's not even that bad.
1181
00:48:28,478 --> 00:48:30,512
Billy, I love you.
1182
00:48:30,513 --> 00:48:32,481
You're my friend.
1183
00:48:32,482 --> 00:48:34,716
I've never had anybody come into
1184
00:48:34,717 --> 00:48:36,518
my life like you, Billy.
1185
00:48:36,519 --> 00:48:38,487
Remember when you gave me my
1186
00:48:38,488 --> 00:48:40,589
first ice-cream cone under the
1187
00:48:40,590 --> 00:48:44,493
sunset?
1188
00:48:44,494 --> 00:48:46,795
I miss you so much, Billy.
1189
00:48:46,796 --> 00:48:50,065
This song goes out to you.
1190
00:48:50,066 --> 00:48:51,766
Oh, yeah.
1191
00:48:51,767 --> 00:48:53,235
Mmm.
1192
00:48:53,236 --> 00:48:57,172
Yeah, I love you, Billy.
1193
00:48:57,173 --> 00:48:59,641
♪ And now you've gone and left
1194
00:48:59,642 --> 00:49:00,976
me ♪
1195
00:49:00,977 --> 00:49:03,345
♪ You were my, you were my
1196
00:49:03,346 --> 00:49:04,180
friend ♪
1197
00:49:04,180 --> 00:49:05,048
♪ My friend
1198
00:49:05,049 --> 00:49:07,349
♪ you got killed by the
1199
00:49:07,350 --> 00:49:08,883
Turkey ♪
1200
00:49:08,884 --> 00:49:11,453
♪ Who's not, who's not my
1201
00:49:11,454 --> 00:49:12,022
friend ♪
1202
00:49:12,023 --> 00:49:13,222
♪ He's not my friend, yeah
1203
00:49:13,223 --> 00:49:16,425
♪ oh Billy, Billy, Billy,
1204
00:49:16,426 --> 00:49:21,063
you were my, my best friend ♪
1205
00:49:21,064 --> 00:49:23,498
♪ We were meant to be best
1206
00:49:23,499 --> 00:49:25,500
friends forever ♪
1207
00:49:25,501 --> 00:49:28,303
♪ And now you are a dead best
1208
00:49:28,304 --> 00:49:31,506
friend ♪
1209
00:49:31,507 --> 00:49:33,675
♪ A dead best friend
1210
00:49:33,676 --> 00:49:36,078
♪ Billy, why did you have to
1211
00:49:36,079 --> 00:49:38,280
leave me, Billy ♪
1212
00:49:38,281 --> 00:49:41,816
♪ Why did you have to leave me
1213
00:49:41,817 --> 00:49:42,752
♪ you were my best friend,
1214
00:49:42,753 --> 00:49:44,253
Billy ♪
1215
00:49:44,254 --> 00:49:48,058
♪ Best friend, Billy
1216
00:50:06,542 --> 00:50:07,576
Oh, yeah.
1217
00:50:07,577 --> 00:50:09,478
Tossing.
1218
00:50:09,479 --> 00:50:11,346
Perfect.
1219
00:50:11,347 --> 00:50:14,949
Low in calories, high in fiber.
1220
00:50:14,950 --> 00:50:16,585
Toss it.
1221
00:50:16,586 --> 00:50:20,255
Whew, nothing like a long day to
1222
00:50:20,256 --> 00:50:21,690
have a big juicy salad in my
1223
00:50:21,691 --> 00:50:22,891
stomach.
1224
00:50:22,892 --> 00:50:24,126
There's the teepee,
1225
00:50:24,127 --> 00:50:26,596
guys, on the side of the road.
1226
00:50:42,212 --> 00:50:43,378
Okay, guys, so, what
1227
00:50:43,379 --> 00:50:44,214
are we gonna do now?
1228
00:50:44,215 --> 00:50:45,347
Fuck, I don't know.
1229
00:50:45,348 --> 00:50:46,381
I didn't really think about
1230
00:50:46,382 --> 00:50:46,816
that.
1231
00:50:46,817 --> 00:50:48,150
Kristen, what do you got?
1232
00:50:48,151 --> 00:50:49,451
I don't know.
1233
00:50:49,452 --> 00:50:50,885
Do we have any rope?
1234
00:50:50,886 --> 00:50:53,822
Yeah, I got some out
1235
00:50:53,823 --> 00:50:55,157
of the Jeep.
1236
00:50:55,158 --> 00:50:56,425
I thought it could be useful.
1237
00:50:56,426 --> 00:50:57,426
Okay, well, this is
1238
00:50:57,427 --> 00:50:57,960
a start.
1239
00:50:57,961 --> 00:50:59,361
Darren, how about Johnny and I
1240
00:50:59,362 --> 00:51:00,795
go in through the main entrance
1241
00:51:00,796 --> 00:51:02,297
and we can distract Turkey.
1242
00:51:02,298 --> 00:51:04,032
Then all you have to do is go
1243
00:51:04,033 --> 00:51:05,667
in through the back, sneak
1244
00:51:05,668 --> 00:51:07,569
up on him, nail him, and tie him
1245
00:51:07,570 --> 00:51:08,737
up with this rope.
1246
00:51:08,738 --> 00:51:10,239
So I'm doing all the
1247
00:51:10,240 --> 00:51:12,073
work?
1248
00:51:12,074 --> 00:51:13,842
Do you want to avenge
1249
00:51:13,843 --> 00:51:16,611
Billy's death or not?
1250
00:51:16,612 --> 00:51:17,646
That's what I thought.
1251
00:51:17,647 --> 00:51:19,080
Now quit being a pussy and let's
1252
00:51:19,081 --> 00:51:19,915
make this happen.
1253
00:51:19,916 --> 00:51:21,250
Fine, fine, I'll do
1254
00:51:21,251 --> 00:51:25,154
it.
1255
00:51:25,155 --> 00:51:26,455
Wait, do we have
1256
00:51:26,456 --> 00:51:27,489
matches or a lighter?
1257
00:51:27,490 --> 00:51:28,923
Yeah, I got a lighter
1258
00:51:28,924 --> 00:51:31,626
right here.
1259
00:51:31,627 --> 00:51:33,362
I'm always prepared, Baby, and
1260
00:51:33,363 --> 00:51:34,996
when I'm not, I just call an
1261
00:51:34,997 --> 00:51:35,698
audible.
1262
00:51:35,699 --> 00:51:37,499
Okay, well, let's
1263
00:51:37,500 --> 00:51:39,534
kick this foul-mouthed bastard's
1264
00:51:39,535 --> 00:51:40,136
ass.
1265
00:51:40,137 --> 00:51:42,137
Let's do it.
1266
00:51:54,918 --> 00:51:56,218
You're not such a badass after
1267
00:51:56,219 --> 00:51:57,219
all.
1268
00:51:58,087 --> 00:52:00,322
Your dad thought I was pretty
1269
00:52:00,323 --> 00:52:00,756
badass.
1270
00:52:00,757 --> 00:52:01,956
You bastard, I'm
1271
00:52:01,957 --> 00:52:03,658
gonna fucking kill you.
1272
00:52:03,659 --> 00:52:05,260
Not now, Johnny.
1273
00:52:05,261 --> 00:52:06,795
What do you think you're
1274
00:52:06,796 --> 00:52:07,330
doing?
1275
00:52:07,331 --> 00:52:08,697
You kids can't kill me,
1276
00:52:08,698 --> 00:52:11,700
assholes... I'm invincible.
1277
00:52:11,701 --> 00:52:12,568
Oh, shit!
1278
00:52:12,569 --> 00:52:13,735
What the Fu...?
1279
00:52:13,736 --> 00:52:15,604
What are you going to do?
1280
00:52:15,605 --> 00:52:17,339
Catch a fish, you fucking prick?
1281
00:52:17,340 --> 00:52:18,140
I got him!
1282
00:52:18,141 --> 00:52:19,674
What! What, Turkey?!
1283
00:52:19,675 --> 00:52:21,543
Good job, man.
1284
00:52:21,544 --> 00:52:23,111
Oh my God, I'm on
1285
00:52:23,112 --> 00:52:23,579
fire!
1286
00:52:23,580 --> 00:52:24,580
What is this?
1287
00:52:24,581 --> 00:52:26,215
Looks like I got something you
1288
00:52:26,216 --> 00:52:27,316
don't got, Turkey.
1289
00:52:27,317 --> 00:52:28,650
What's that, Darren?
1290
00:52:28,651 --> 00:52:29,851
A vagina?
1291
00:52:29,852 --> 00:52:30,985
Fuck, no!
1292
00:52:30,986 --> 00:52:32,454
I've got a book that's gonna
1293
00:52:32,455 --> 00:52:34,323
send you straight to hell.
1294
00:52:34,324 --> 00:52:35,657
You think that's real?
1295
00:52:35,658 --> 00:52:37,226
You kids are even more retarded
1296
00:52:37,227 --> 00:52:38,293
than Billy!
1297
00:52:38,294 --> 00:52:39,461
Go back, go back!
1298
00:52:39,462 --> 00:52:40,729
Calm down, Darren.
1299
00:52:40,730 --> 00:52:41,963
Don't listen to him,
1300
00:52:41,964 --> 00:52:42,398
Darren.
1301
00:52:42,399 --> 00:52:43,665
Let's just finish this bastard.
1302
00:52:43,666 --> 00:52:44,733
You got the prayer ready?
1303
00:52:44,734 --> 00:52:46,034
I've got to find the
1304
00:52:46,035 --> 00:52:47,436
fucking prayer.
1305
00:52:47,437 --> 00:52:48,603
I've got it.
1306
00:52:48,604 --> 00:52:50,372
You ready?
1307
00:52:50,373 --> 00:52:51,207
Let's do this.
1308
00:52:51,208 --> 00:52:52,341
Let's do it.
1309
00:52:52,342 --> 00:52:55,544
Ashlashi Begundi Ka.
1310
00:52:55,545 --> 00:52:56,711
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
1311
00:52:56,712 --> 00:52:57,280
fucking blah.
1312
00:52:57,281 --> 00:52:58,313
Kribash Sholash Kari
1313
00:52:58,314 --> 00:52:58,714
Mafesto.
1314
00:52:58,715 --> 00:52:59,814
This is the stupidest thing
1315
00:52:59,815 --> 00:53:00,716
you kids have done yet.
1316
00:53:00,717 --> 00:53:01,750
Ashlashi Begundi Ka.
1317
00:53:01,751 --> 00:53:05,220
Kribash Sholash Kari Mafesto.
1318
00:53:05,221 --> 00:53:06,488
Oh, what are you...
1319
00:53:06,489 --> 00:53:08,089
Ashlashi Begundi Ka.
1320
00:53:08,090 --> 00:53:09,123
Stop! Stop it!
1321
00:53:09,124 --> 00:53:10,659
Kribash Sholash Kari
1322
00:53:10,660 --> 00:53:12,361
Mafesto.
1323
00:53:12,362 --> 00:53:13,662
There, guys!
1324
00:53:13,663 --> 00:53:14,630
At least it's
1325
00:53:14,630 --> 00:53:15,064
working.
1326
00:53:15,065 --> 00:53:16,298
Yeah, that should've
1327
00:53:16,299 --> 00:53:17,432
worked, because now he's lost
1328
00:53:17,433 --> 00:53:20,569
all of his invincibility power.
1329
00:53:20,570 --> 00:53:23,472
Okay, it says here, he's now
1330
00:53:23,473 --> 00:53:24,939
ready to be sacrificed.
1331
00:53:24,940 --> 00:53:26,608
Fuck, burn him alive, guys.
1332
00:53:26,609 --> 00:53:28,510
Nice, you still got
1333
00:53:28,511 --> 00:53:29,144
that lighter, Johnny?
1334
00:53:29,144 --> 00:53:29,879
Yeah, I got it.
1335
00:53:29,879 --> 00:53:30,680
I'm ready to see
1336
00:53:30,681 --> 00:53:32,046
this cock burn.
1337
00:53:32,047 --> 00:53:33,448
You mean Turkey,
1338
00:53:33,449 --> 00:53:33,916
right?
1339
00:53:33,917 --> 00:53:35,384
No, I mean like a
1340
00:53:35,385 --> 00:53:36,651
dick, not like the animal.
1341
00:53:36,652 --> 00:53:38,152
Do you have the lighter or not?
1342
00:53:38,153 --> 00:53:42,123
Yeah, I got it.
1343
00:53:42,124 --> 00:53:43,858
So long, suckers.
1344
00:53:46,729 --> 00:53:47,630
Not this time,
1345
00:53:47,631 --> 00:53:48,663
asshole!
1346
00:53:48,664 --> 00:53:49,764
Oh, fuck!
1347
00:53:49,765 --> 00:53:52,601
Argh!
1348
00:53:57,172 --> 00:54:01,543
You!
1349
00:54:01,544 --> 00:54:02,777
Where did that Turkey go?
1350
00:54:02,778 --> 00:54:04,178
I killed that son of
1351
00:54:04,179 --> 00:54:04,514
a bitch.
1352
00:54:04,514 --> 00:54:05,348
He's right in that dumpster
1353
00:54:05,348 --> 00:54:06,081
right over there.
1354
00:54:06,081 --> 00:54:06,949
You don't
1355
00:54:06,950 --> 00:54:07,982
understand, he needs to be
1356
00:54:07,983 --> 00:54:09,418
killed in a certain way.
1357
00:54:09,419 --> 00:54:11,219
If he isn't, who know what might
1358
00:54:11,220 --> 00:54:15,790
happen.
1359
00:54:15,791 --> 00:54:16,891
Bastard.
1360
00:54:16,892 --> 00:54:19,160
Oh, yep, he's dead.
1361
00:54:19,161 --> 00:54:21,262
That's pretty nasty.
1362
00:54:21,263 --> 00:54:21,864
Oh, shit.
1363
00:54:21,865 --> 00:54:23,332
Nice shot, Hermit.
1364
00:54:23,333 --> 00:54:24,633
Thank you there,
1365
00:54:24,634 --> 00:54:26,100
pretty lady, but it was pretty
1366
00:54:26,101 --> 00:54:27,436
much point-blank range.
1367
00:54:27,437 --> 00:54:28,903
Yeah, it was.
1368
00:54:28,904 --> 00:54:30,539
Well, looks like my
1369
00:54:30,540 --> 00:54:31,740
work's done here.
1370
00:54:31,741 --> 00:54:33,675
Killed that goddamn Turkey, and
1371
00:54:33,676 --> 00:54:35,477
avenged the death of my dog,
1372
00:54:35,478 --> 00:54:36,111
ol' Flashy.
1373
00:54:36,112 --> 00:54:37,446
Yeah, I'm really
1374
00:54:37,447 --> 00:54:38,513
sorry about your dog.
1375
00:54:38,514 --> 00:54:39,948
That must be hard to deal with.
1376
00:54:39,949 --> 00:54:41,450
Well, I know he's in a
1377
00:54:41,451 --> 00:54:43,752
better place now, but it still
1378
00:54:43,753 --> 00:54:45,754
hurts a little bit on the
1379
00:54:45,755 --> 00:54:46,422
inside.
1380
00:54:46,423 --> 00:54:48,222
One of these days, you kids
1381
00:54:48,223 --> 00:54:50,058
there, you might feel what I
1382
00:54:50,059 --> 00:54:51,960
feel when losing somebody you
1383
00:54:51,961 --> 00:54:53,762
love, like your mother, your
1384
00:54:53,763 --> 00:54:56,030
father, or your best friend.
1385
00:54:56,031 --> 00:54:57,466
Well, I've got to go, kids,
1386
00:54:57,467 --> 00:54:58,368
here.
1387
00:54:58,369 --> 00:55:00,336
You guys have a good night.
1388
00:55:04,306 --> 00:55:06,307
Well, I sure learned
1389
00:55:06,308 --> 00:55:08,076
a lot from this experience.
1390
00:55:08,077 --> 00:55:11,279
And I made lifelong friends.
1391
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:13,314
What a nice guy.
1392
00:55:13,315 --> 00:55:15,083
I don't know.
1393
00:55:15,084 --> 00:55:17,118
He fucking kind of creeps me
1394
00:55:17,119 --> 00:55:17,753
out.
1395
00:55:17,754 --> 00:55:18,987
Kind of weird.
1396
00:55:18,988 --> 00:55:21,122
I don't know, though, he did
1397
00:55:21,123 --> 00:55:22,091
save our lives.
1398
00:55:22,092 --> 00:55:23,658
I guess that makes him cool,
1399
00:55:23,659 --> 00:55:24,627
right?
1400
00:55:24,628 --> 00:55:27,729
Well, guys, we just
1401
00:55:27,730 --> 00:55:30,832
killed the most demonic Turkey
1402
00:55:30,833 --> 00:55:32,333
to ever roam the face of the
1403
00:55:32,334 --> 00:55:32,835
earth.
1404
00:55:32,836 --> 00:55:35,303
What now?
1405
00:55:37,306 --> 00:55:41,042
We did, didn't we?
1406
00:55:41,043 --> 00:55:42,011
We sure did.
1407
00:55:42,012 --> 00:55:43,211
Well, I don't think
1408
00:55:43,212 --> 00:55:44,413
we can do anything to top this
1409
00:55:44,414 --> 00:55:44,880
one.
1410
00:55:44,881 --> 00:55:46,581
What do you say we go back to
1411
00:55:46,582 --> 00:55:48,182
Kristen's and watch the movies?
1412
00:55:48,183 --> 00:55:49,084
How does that sound?
1413
00:55:49,085 --> 00:55:50,284
Hell, yes.
1414
00:55:50,285 --> 00:55:51,786
Hell, yes.
1415
00:55:51,787 --> 00:55:53,154
Come on, guys, it's
1416
00:55:53,155 --> 00:55:53,823
through here.
1417
00:55:53,823 --> 00:55:54,757
Let's rock this
1418
00:55:54,757 --> 00:55:55,090
movie.
1419
00:55:55,090 --> 00:55:56,058
I want to watch it.
1420
00:55:56,059 --> 00:55:58,360
I'm so excited.
1421
00:56:11,273 --> 00:56:12,841
Got my popcorn, all
1422
00:56:12,842 --> 00:56:17,679
snuggled up on the couch.
1423
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:20,415
So, you know, Kristen.
1424
00:56:20,416 --> 00:56:23,952
In a way, I'm kind of glad all
1425
00:56:23,953 --> 00:56:25,587
this happened.
1426
00:56:25,588 --> 00:56:27,622
If not, I wouldn't have gotten
1427
00:56:27,623 --> 00:56:29,357
this close to you.
1428
00:56:29,358 --> 00:56:32,060
I may have lost my parents, but
1429
00:56:32,061 --> 00:56:35,930
I gained a girlfriend.
1430
00:56:35,931 --> 00:56:37,432
G-girlfriend?
1431
00:56:37,433 --> 00:56:38,867
Oh, brother.
1432
00:56:38,868 --> 00:56:40,268
You mean...
1433
00:56:40,269 --> 00:56:41,269
Yes.
1434
00:56:41,270 --> 00:56:44,072
Will you go out with me?
1435
00:56:44,073 --> 00:56:46,340
Oh, Johnny, I don't
1436
00:56:46,341 --> 00:56:47,709
know what to say.
1437
00:56:47,710 --> 00:56:49,911
I mean, I do know what to say.
1438
00:56:49,912 --> 00:56:51,345
Yes, of course.
1439
00:56:51,346 --> 00:56:53,915
Awesome, she's gonna
1440
00:56:53,916 --> 00:56:55,717
go out with me.
1441
00:56:55,718 --> 00:56:57,687
Awesome.
1442
00:57:12,134 --> 00:57:15,537
I'm gonna go pee now.
1443
00:57:15,538 --> 00:57:17,840
Yeah, I'm going to go pee.
1444
00:58:05,855 --> 00:58:07,355
Aah!
1445
00:58:08,558 --> 00:58:09,424
You're done, Bitch.
1446
00:58:09,425 --> 00:58:10,559
You son of a bitch!
1447
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:12,827
Why can't you just die already?
1448
00:58:12,828 --> 00:58:14,463
Argh!
1449
00:58:55,404 --> 00:58:58,372
Come on, Darren.
1450
00:58:58,373 --> 00:59:01,242
Come on.
1451
00:59:01,243 --> 00:59:02,711
God's a-waiting.
1452
00:59:02,712 --> 00:59:04,746
Come on.
1453
00:59:04,747 --> 00:59:06,881
No turkeys up here, Darren.
1454
00:59:06,882 --> 00:59:08,783
Come on.
1455
00:59:08,784 --> 00:59:13,154
Let's go. Let's go.
1456
00:59:16,592 --> 00:59:18,092
What's the matter,
1457
00:59:18,093 --> 00:59:18,628
Johnny?
1458
00:59:18,629 --> 00:59:19,861
I don't know.
1459
00:59:19,862 --> 00:59:22,296
I thought I heard Turkey.
1460
00:59:22,297 --> 00:59:25,566
I couldn't have.
1461
00:59:25,567 --> 00:59:26,268
It just...
1462
00:59:26,269 --> 00:59:27,769
It just must have been a bad
1463
00:59:27,770 --> 00:59:28,270
dream.
1464
00:59:28,271 --> 00:59:29,771
There is no way,
1465
00:59:29,772 --> 00:59:31,405
Johnny, he had a shotgun wound
1466
00:59:31,406 --> 00:59:32,540
the size of my head.
1467
00:59:32,541 --> 00:59:34,008
Plus, we said the prayer in
1468
00:59:34,009 --> 00:59:35,844
reverse.
1469
00:59:35,845 --> 00:59:38,279
Yeah, you're right.
1470
00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,348
He's got be dead.
1471
00:59:40,349 --> 00:59:42,951
Unless he fell into some
1472
00:59:42,952 --> 00:59:45,620
radioactive waste.
1473
00:59:45,621 --> 00:59:46,555
What are the odds of that
1474
00:59:46,555 --> 00:59:47,222
happening, right?
1475
00:59:47,223 --> 00:59:48,356
Don't be silly, that
1476
00:59:48,357 --> 00:59:49,423
kind of stuff only happens in
1477
00:59:49,424 --> 00:59:49,992
movies.
1478
00:59:49,993 --> 00:59:51,626
You're right, you're
1479
00:59:51,627 --> 00:59:52,161
right.
1480
00:59:52,162 --> 00:59:53,762
Well, I'm going to go check on
1481
00:59:53,763 --> 00:59:54,363
Darren.
1482
00:59:54,364 --> 00:59:56,197
I'm still a little freaked about
1483
00:59:56,198 --> 00:59:56,932
that dream.
1484
00:59:56,933 --> 00:59:58,532
There is nothing to
1485
00:59:58,533 --> 00:59:59,834
be worried about, Johnny.
1486
00:59:59,835 --> 01:00:00,703
Remember that.
1487
01:00:00,704 --> 01:00:03,673
Okay, I'll be right back.
1488
01:00:09,211 --> 01:00:11,345
Darren?
1489
01:00:11,346 --> 01:00:14,148
Darren, this isn't funny.
1490
01:00:14,149 --> 01:00:16,284
Where you at, man?
1491
01:00:16,285 --> 01:00:19,520
I'm in the kitchen, making
1492
01:00:19,521 --> 01:00:20,955
a Turkey sandwich.
1493
01:00:20,956 --> 01:00:22,925
All right.
1494
01:00:32,601 --> 01:00:34,435
Darren...
1495
01:00:34,436 --> 01:00:36,405
Kristen, he's...
1496
01:00:52,487 --> 01:00:56,257
Johnny! No!
1497
01:00:56,258 --> 01:00:58,259
You! How are you still alive?
1498
01:00:58,260 --> 01:00:59,994
I always come back for
1499
01:00:59,995 --> 01:01:03,464
seconds.
1500
01:01:03,465 --> 01:01:04,366
Johnny, come on!
1501
01:01:04,367 --> 01:01:09,904
We've got to get out of here!
1502
01:01:09,905 --> 01:01:10,639
Hang in there, Johnny!
1503
01:01:10,640 --> 01:01:12,173
Don't you leave me!
1504
01:01:12,174 --> 01:01:13,708
Come on, let's hide in that
1505
01:01:13,709 --> 01:01:14,509
shack over there.
1506
01:01:14,510 --> 01:01:15,777
I don't think I'm
1507
01:01:15,778 --> 01:01:16,778
gonna make it.
1508
01:01:16,779 --> 01:01:17,846
Don't say that.
1509
01:01:17,847 --> 01:01:23,617
You're gonna be fine.
1510
01:01:23,618 --> 01:01:28,289
Hang in there, Johnny.
1511
01:01:28,290 --> 01:01:30,091
You still got that lighter?
1512
01:01:30,092 --> 01:01:32,061
Yeah, here.
1513
01:01:40,069 --> 01:01:42,270
Roast in hell, asshole.
1514
01:01:42,271 --> 01:01:44,305
Oh, fuck.
1515
01:01:44,306 --> 01:01:46,941
No!
1516
01:01:46,942 --> 01:01:48,076
Oh, God!
1517
01:01:48,077 --> 01:01:50,879
Oh, my feathers are fucking
1518
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:51,680
melting!
1519
01:01:51,681 --> 01:01:55,316
Oh! Oh!
1520
01:01:55,317 --> 01:01:56,785
I'm not gonna make
1521
01:01:56,786 --> 01:01:57,286
it.
1522
01:01:57,287 --> 01:01:59,587
I'm sorry, I wish I could call a
1523
01:01:59,588 --> 01:02:01,155
time out for this one.
1524
01:02:01,156 --> 01:02:02,656
Stop it.
1525
01:02:02,657 --> 01:02:03,925
Shut up, shut up.
1526
01:02:03,926 --> 01:02:05,493
Look at me.
1527
01:02:05,494 --> 01:02:06,461
You did good.
1528
01:02:06,462 --> 01:02:08,196
You survived, and that's all
1529
01:02:08,197 --> 01:02:09,898
that matters.
1530
01:02:09,899 --> 01:02:12,266
Kristen, I love you.
1531
01:02:12,267 --> 01:02:14,236
I love you, too.
1532
01:02:22,744 --> 01:02:24,345
We need to burn him
1533
01:02:24,346 --> 01:02:25,814
at the stake, just like a
1534
01:02:25,815 --> 01:02:27,015
witch.
1535
01:02:27,016 --> 01:02:28,449
"Peck" on someone
1536
01:02:28,450 --> 01:02:31,652
your own size.
1537
01:02:38,994 --> 01:02:40,161
God!
1538
01:02:40,162 --> 01:02:42,163
Oh, it fucking burns!
1539
01:02:43,765 --> 01:02:45,499
I'll come back!
1540
01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:49,304
I'll kill you all!
1541
01:02:55,010 --> 01:02:56,410
Well-done, Gal.
1542
01:02:56,411 --> 01:03:00,214
Yeah, I know.
1543
01:03:22,704 --> 01:03:24,172
I brought pie.
1544
01:03:24,173 --> 01:03:25,373
Mmm, yeah.
1545
01:03:25,374 --> 01:03:26,941
Can't wait to eat.
1546
01:03:26,942 --> 01:03:31,745
No, not yet.
1547
01:03:31,746 --> 01:03:32,947
Why are you wearing that hat,
1548
01:03:32,948 --> 01:03:33,916
Caleb?
1549
01:03:33,917 --> 01:03:38,619
I just love Thanksgiving.
1550
01:03:38,620 --> 01:03:43,992
Okay.
1551
01:03:43,993 --> 01:03:45,826
Let's bow our heads.
1552
01:03:45,827 --> 01:03:47,428
Our father in heaven, we give
1553
01:03:47,429 --> 01:03:48,863
thanks for the pleasure of
1554
01:03:48,864 --> 01:03:50,364
gathering together for this
1555
01:03:50,365 --> 01:03:51,233
occasion.
1556
01:03:51,234 --> 01:03:53,301
We give thanks for this food
1557
01:03:53,302 --> 01:03:55,169
prepared by loving hands.
1558
01:03:55,170 --> 01:03:57,205
We give thanks for life, the
1559
01:03:57,206 --> 01:03:59,540
freedom to enjoy it all and all
1560
01:03:59,541 --> 01:04:00,942
other blessings.
1561
01:04:00,943 --> 01:04:02,843
As we partake of this food, we
1562
01:04:02,844 --> 01:04:04,745
pray for the health and strength
1563
01:04:04,746 --> 01:04:06,580
to carry on and try to live as
1564
01:04:06,581 --> 01:04:07,982
you would have us.
1565
01:04:07,983 --> 01:04:09,850
This we ask in the name of
1566
01:04:09,851 --> 01:04:11,785
Christ, our heavenly father.
1567
01:04:11,786 --> 01:04:13,387
Amen.
1568
01:04:13,388 --> 01:04:14,889
Argh!
1569
01:04:14,890 --> 01:04:18,860
Do I smell sequel, Biatch?!
92146
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