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- [Larry] On the line we have Eamon,
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Eamon, are you ready?
3
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- I was born ready, Larry, but I was
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born in Portlaoise but...
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- [Larry] Okay, let's
go, your time starts now.
6
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The blue what is a type of bird?
7
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- Lesbian.
8
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- [Larry] No, it's a tit.
9
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How many inches in half a foot?
10
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- Micky, sorry, penis.
11
00:00:21,275 --> 00:00:22,925
- [Larry] No, it's six.
12
00:00:22,933 --> 00:00:26,943
Christopher Reeve plays what superhero?
13
00:00:26,944 --> 00:00:27,874
- The elephant man.
14
00:00:27,869 --> 00:00:29,689
- [Larry] No, it's Superman.
15
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The Everly Brothers had a hit with
16
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I'll Do My what In The Rain?
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- Bridget's period.
18
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- [Larry] No, crying.
19
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What is the Irish name for Edward?
20
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- You.
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- Hugh.
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- [Larry] No, it's Eamon.
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What saint has a cross named after her?
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- Bridget!
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- [Larry] Correct.
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And that's all we have time for.
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You scored one.
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They just didn't suit you today.
29
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- No they never fuckin' suit you, do they?
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You're the stupidest person I know.
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(upbeat music)
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- I don't see any difference Eamon,
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can you explain it to
me, just one more time.
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- Bridget, I'm asleep.
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- You can't, a barbecue or whatever
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you call it, it's a fry outside.
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- Shut up.
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- Noreen and her fancy parties,
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cooking sausages outside has always
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been and will always be a fry.
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She's terrible notions, terrible
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notions Noreen after doing a
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secretarial course in Naas,
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she didn't even do the whole thing.
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(doorbell rings)
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It's the Gards!
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- Jesus you two were in some stage
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last night, ye were bolloxed!
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You missed that heifer by inches.
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- Eamon, this is official business.
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Can you pretend you don't know us?
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Please!
53
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- Oh, sorry Gard.
54
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- You're going to need to sit down.
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- We are sitting down.
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- Okay, well stay sitting so.
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- We can stand up and sit
back down if you want, Paul.
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- Jesus Bridget, can you at least
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pretend you don't know us?
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- There's nothing happening since they
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captured the Border Fox,
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we're trying to jazz things up a
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small bit for ourselves.
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- Oh, okay, officer.
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- Oh, I like that, officer, eh!
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- I saw it on Hill Street Blues.
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- I have a second cousin that can play
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Hill Street Blues on the piano.
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- He's very good.
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- For fuck's sake lads,
this is official business.
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Do you realize that one of your
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children could be dead?
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- Jesus, did that little shit get onto
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that electricity pylon again!
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I'll kill him, which one is it, PJ,
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JP, Paddy, Mairead!
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- No, there's nobody dead, okay.
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- Look lads, we received information
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relating to Bridget that's so
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sensitive it could send
the parish into meltdown.
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- I'm so sorry, I'll bring the
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necklace back, I can't help it,
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I'm a hemophiliac.
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- You're a kleptomaniac you dope.
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- I'm a klepto...
86
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- No, it's good news.
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(laughs)
88
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- Oh sure we know, we're only messing.
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I took a lot of sleeping tablets.
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- We received this
earlier in the post today.
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Eamon, your wife has been nominated
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for Calor Kosangas Housewife of the Year.
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- You going out tonight?
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- I am yeah, I can't collect you
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though, I'm using the squad car.
96
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,532
I'm still riding that camogie player
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below in Thurles.
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She's still living with her parents.
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The one with the tash?
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- It's barely noticeable Eamon and if
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you say that to me again, I'll arrest you.
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- We'll have to clean the house!
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- Look at all those people in there.
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- I don't know how she got in the
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final, she doesn't even use sherry
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in her trifle.
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She uses turpentine.
108
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- Oh, any time I drink
turpentine I get piles.
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- They're all out there Bridget,
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the Midland Recorder,
the Longford Observer,
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the Carlow Onlooker,
the Mullingar Pervert.
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- I know him.
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- Come on, let's get this shite out of
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the way, I'm starving.
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Bridget, you've to put the dinner on.
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- Right, they're ready for you, follow
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my lead and we'll be grand.
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Keep an eye out for Ted
Meany, he's dangerous.
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I'll look after him, come on,
come on, come on, come on!
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- [All] Bridget! Bridget! Bridget!
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- Settle down, settle down, okay.
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Questions, Mick.
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- Mick Brady, the Dundalk Times,
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Bridget, the televised final is only this
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Saturday so what are you
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planning for dessert?
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- I'm thinking of an Arctic Roll but
128
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I'm toying with the idea
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of a Teatime Express pineapple gateau.
130
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- [Press] Bridget, Bridget!
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- You, you there, Cagney and Lacey.
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- Tessa Smith, Tullamore Tribune,
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Bridget, is it true that
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you're the first woman in Ireland to
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make a lasagne?
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- It's true but it's
actually called lasagne.
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Ne as in no in French, you know.
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- [Press] Bridget, Bridget!
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- You!
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- Brenda Fitz, Tulsk Telegraph,
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actually have a question for Eamon.
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Eamon, are you very proud of your wife?
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- Proud, why would I be proud?
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A rake of women baking apple
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tarts and boiling spuds, what's
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there to be proud of?
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- Eamon, come here, what are you doing?
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You know there's a year's supply of
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free gas if she wins this thing?
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(upbeat music)
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- It's getting hot in here.
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- That would be all the free gas.
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- Fancy--
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- Shh, I'm heading out.
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Oh and by the way, you
can leave the emersion on.
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- Eamon!
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- Sorry, I'm very proud of my free gas.
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- Bridget.
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- Sorry, free Bridget.
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- Bridget.
- Free gas.
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- [All] Bridget, Bridget!
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- Father Gabriel.
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- Father Gabriel, Parish
Newsletter Fashion Pages.
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Bridget, what are you planning on
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doing with your hair?
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- Oh, I'm glad you asked, I'm going to
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do something pure modern,
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really choppy changy.
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- [All] Ooh!
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- Bridget!
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- Shush, shush!
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Animals, no more questions,
come on, come on.
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- Ted Meany, The Morning Pearl.
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Bridget, some people up in Dublin
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say this is an antiquated
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outdated and sexist competition,
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what do you say to that?
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- Thank you!
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- I'll tell you what she says!
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She says piss off back to Dublin with
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your big words and questions you...
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- I'll get you for that.
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- You know everyone heard that?
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- No they didn't.
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- [All] Yes we did.
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(triumphant music)
187
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(upbeat music)
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♫ You're dressed to
kill, you're feeling free
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♫ You're in the place
you always wanted to be
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- Yo Eamon, I think I might win this.
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00:07:31,688 --> 00:07:34,688
- There's a woman from Dublin in it.
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- [Bridget] Shite!
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- Listen to me, you're not losing that
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Housewife of the Year competition,
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I don't care if she's from Dublin.
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I'm so close to that year's supply
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of free gas, I can almost smell it.
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00:07:47,749 --> 00:07:50,109
- Eamon, they have cocktail sausages
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00:07:50,109 --> 00:07:51,909
up there for 20 years.
200
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:53,866
We're only getting them now.
201
00:07:53,867 --> 00:07:55,657
- Pull yourself together you mad bitch.
202
00:07:55,656 --> 00:07:58,686
Stop dropping chickens on the floor.
203
00:07:58,690 --> 00:07:59,520
- Dublin!
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Not even Cork!
205
00:08:06,393 --> 00:08:07,903
- Now it says here in the RTE Guide
206
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:09,295
that the way to win a woman's
207
00:08:09,301 --> 00:08:11,281
competition is the 3 Fs, Food,
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00:08:11,279 --> 00:08:13,029
Fashion, and Fitness.
209
00:08:14,806 --> 00:08:16,446
On the fashion I'm going to put
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Frank, Father you can do the fitness
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00:08:18,328 --> 00:08:19,758
and I'll do the food 'cause I'm
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00:08:19,757 --> 00:08:21,257
starving and where's me dinner?
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00:08:21,264 --> 00:08:23,164
- No offense Frank but I think I
214
00:08:23,156 --> 00:08:25,516
might be better suited to do with fashion?
215
00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:28,368
- Yeah, I think myself and
Father Gabriel should swap.
216
00:08:28,365 --> 00:08:29,825
- Really?
- Yeah.
217
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:30,673
- I always thought you were a
218
00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:32,156
bit of a dapper dresser, Frank.
219
00:08:32,162 --> 00:08:33,632
- Eamon, I've been wearing the same
220
00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:36,036
pair of overalls for the past eight years.
221
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,640
- That suit you wore to the funeral?
222
00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,059
I thought you looked beautiful.
223
00:08:39,064 --> 00:08:41,154
- That was my confirmation suit.
224
00:08:41,148 --> 00:08:42,538
Besides, Father Gabriel's reading last
225
00:08:42,536 --> 00:08:43,696
Sunday at mass was from
226
00:08:43,695 --> 00:08:45,165
Woman's Way magazine.
227
00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:47,114
- Oh, wasn't that very moving?
228
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,690
Who knew that white
stilettos would be so slutty?
229
00:08:49,691 --> 00:08:53,121
- Fine then, do it your own way!
230
00:08:53,124 --> 00:08:54,424
- Now Bridget, I'm just going to take
231
00:08:54,422 --> 00:08:55,592
you through a few outfits
232
00:08:55,591 --> 00:08:57,411
that I think will be pure Dynasty
233
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,756
for the live TV final.
234
00:08:59,763 --> 00:09:01,763
First up we have Eimear.
235
00:09:03,979 --> 00:09:07,059
Eimear is wearing an outfit
inspired by Quality Street.
236
00:09:07,056 --> 00:09:09,156
The top is a hazelnut fudge, the
237
00:09:09,163 --> 00:09:11,373
bottom a caramel barrel.
238
00:09:11,373 --> 00:09:13,143
That shimmering gold skirt
239
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,740
practically screams Falcon Crest.
240
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:16,960
- I like it.
241
00:09:16,958 --> 00:09:20,968
- And that's from Dunnes, priced 22.99.
242
00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:22,429
Thanks Eimear.
243
00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:25,050
Next up we have Patricia, Patricia
244
00:09:25,052 --> 00:09:28,662
is sporting a royal blue power suit
245
00:09:28,656 --> 00:09:31,016
with gold encrusted shoulder pads.
246
00:09:31,022 --> 00:09:33,422
The neckline is high enough to give
247
00:09:33,421 --> 00:09:35,581
an air of respectability yet low
248
00:09:35,581 --> 00:09:38,481
enough to just hint at sass.
249
00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:39,413
And I think blue would be a lovely
250
00:09:39,414 --> 00:09:40,374
color on our Bridget.
251
00:09:40,369 --> 00:09:41,669
- I like it, Father.
252
00:09:41,670 --> 00:09:45,340
- And that is also from
Dunnes, price 22.99!
253
00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:47,519
Thank you Patricia.
254
00:09:47,523 --> 00:09:48,603
- Thanks, Father.
255
00:09:48,595 --> 00:09:50,175
- Don't speak, Patricia!
256
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:51,545
Just smile, put your hand on your
257
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,969
hip and walk back through those curtains.
258
00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:57,992
Next is Eimear.
259
00:09:57,989 --> 00:09:59,589
- I'm not ready yet Father.
260
00:09:59,594 --> 00:10:01,684
There's no room back here.
261
00:10:01,681 --> 00:10:02,811
- Eimear, you're the one that wants to
262
00:10:02,813 --> 00:10:04,363
go to Naas Fashion Week, do you
263
00:10:04,356 --> 00:10:06,236
think the girls there have room to change?
264
00:10:06,242 --> 00:10:07,652
They don't even eat!
265
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,290
- I can't get it on.
266
00:10:09,285 --> 00:10:10,665
- Throw it out to me here.
267
00:10:10,665 --> 00:10:12,825
Bridget, give me a minute.
268
00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:17,518
Father Gabriel is wearing a gold
269
00:10:17,515 --> 00:10:19,455
sequined party dress which is sort
270
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:21,670
of like a good mass, short enough to
271
00:10:21,666 --> 00:10:23,076
hold your attention yet long
272
00:10:23,084 --> 00:10:25,864
enough to cover the subject.
273
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,768
This isn't from Dunnes but it is
274
00:10:27,768 --> 00:10:29,518
also priced at 22.99.
275
00:10:30,437 --> 00:10:32,727
- I don't like it.
276
00:10:32,726 --> 00:10:34,056
- Bridget, I haven't eaten in two and
277
00:10:34,064 --> 00:10:36,534
a half hours, where's me dinner?
278
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:37,734
Oh I like it.
279
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:38,560
- I know.
280
00:10:38,563 --> 00:10:39,413
(bell tolls)
281
00:10:39,409 --> 00:10:42,449
Oh God, is that the time,
I'm late for a funeral.
282
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:46,120
- Bridget, Bridget,
show us what you can do?
283
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:51,040
(upbeat music)
284
00:11:11,231 --> 00:11:12,651
Come on, Bridget!
285
00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:17,970
(grunting)
286
00:11:17,972 --> 00:11:18,812
Come on!
287
00:11:31,192 --> 00:11:33,292
Ham, bread, butter.
288
00:11:33,294 --> 00:11:35,384
Come on Bridget, come on.
289
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,666
- Your one from Dublin cuts
the crusts off, Bridget.
290
00:11:38,671 --> 00:11:40,281
You haven't a chance.
291
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:43,624
Frank, you don't know what you're doing.
292
00:11:49,101 --> 00:11:52,621
Come on Bridget, put some welly into it.
293
00:11:52,615 --> 00:11:54,475
Come on Bridget, come on!
294
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,330
Bridget, where's my dinner?
295
00:11:55,332 --> 00:11:57,792
(shrieking)
296
00:11:57,792 --> 00:11:58,632
Come on!
297
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:10,780
Bridget, where's my dinner?
298
00:12:10,779 --> 00:12:14,049
- Dinner, I haven't got time
for dinner, I'm up to high doh.
299
00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:15,316
Where's all my valium?
300
00:12:15,321 --> 00:12:16,181
- I thought they were cough sweets,
301
00:12:16,178 --> 00:12:18,218
I gave them to the child.
302
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,740
- [Bridget] Jesus Christ!
303
00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:21,881
- I've never seen you concerned
about the kids before.
304
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:25,130
- No, I've never made a lasagne before.
305
00:12:32,788 --> 00:12:35,088
- What do you mean you've
never made a lasagne before?
306
00:12:35,092 --> 00:12:39,112
If you mess this up Bridget,
I don't get my free gas.
307
00:12:39,108 --> 00:12:40,998
What was the yoke you
gave me last October?
308
00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:41,843
- The frozen pizza?
309
00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:42,856
- The thing that broke me teeth?
310
00:12:42,858 --> 00:12:44,158
- Frozen pizza.
311
00:12:44,159 --> 00:12:45,779
- That, give them that.
312
00:12:45,781 --> 00:12:48,581
- No, it's okay look Eamon, I found
313
00:12:48,575 --> 00:12:51,235
this page from a magazine, look!
314
00:12:52,459 --> 00:12:53,539
- I doubt it very much if that's a
315
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:55,071
cooking magazine Bridget.
316
00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:56,129
Sure there's two naked women there,
317
00:12:56,129 --> 00:12:57,309
that must be her sister or a
318
00:12:57,305 --> 00:12:59,475
doctor, look at the
examination she's giving.
319
00:12:59,481 --> 00:13:02,781
- No, look what the woman's
taking out of the oven.
320
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:04,453
That's a lasagne.
321
00:13:04,448 --> 00:13:05,758
- Bridget, that's a small little furry
322
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,340
animal between her legs.
323
00:13:07,341 --> 00:13:10,051
- No, you're not looking
in the right place, Eamon.
324
00:13:10,046 --> 00:13:11,116
That's a lasagne.
325
00:13:11,118 --> 00:13:12,388
And you know what, from looking
326
00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,830
at the picture I bet I can cook it.
327
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:16,087
Easy, that's a pound and a half of mince.
328
00:13:16,094 --> 00:13:18,434
- What's that liquid
stuff coming out of it?
329
00:13:18,432 --> 00:13:19,512
- That must be the pasta.
330
00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:21,101
- But we don't have the pasta.
331
00:13:21,095 --> 00:13:24,255
You don't even know what the pasta is.
332
00:13:25,344 --> 00:13:26,344
- The pasta.
333
00:13:29,406 --> 00:13:31,476
- Now put in the pasta.
334
00:13:31,484 --> 00:13:33,834
No, no, no, not like that.
335
00:13:33,827 --> 00:13:34,977
Do it like that.
336
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,581
Get out of the way Bridget.
337
00:13:37,577 --> 00:13:40,197
- Eamon, you're supposed
to add water to that.
338
00:13:40,198 --> 00:13:42,538
- Well I don't know where we
keep the water, do I Bridget!
339
00:13:42,535 --> 00:13:44,105
- Jesus Christ!
340
00:13:44,108 --> 00:13:45,378
Cheese Eamon, cheese.
341
00:13:45,384 --> 00:13:47,394
- Let me do it Bridget!
342
00:13:47,390 --> 00:13:48,810
Okay, the cheese.
343
00:13:50,295 --> 00:13:51,625
Okay, that's it.
344
00:13:54,812 --> 00:13:57,062
And you think you've a
hard time making dinner.
345
00:13:57,056 --> 00:13:59,986
Oh Eamon, I made the
dinner, I'll hold onto this.
346
00:13:59,987 --> 00:14:02,397
You have some life so you do.
347
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,579
- What's all this about Eamon?
348
00:14:10,584 --> 00:14:13,904
- Sit down there, I want you
to taste test a dinner I made.
349
00:14:13,898 --> 00:14:16,558
- Don't ever say that, don't
ever say that, not even joking.
350
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,436
You're scaring me now.
351
00:14:18,444 --> 00:14:20,534
(laughs)
352
00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:26,172
- I didn't make it, Bridget made it.
353
00:14:26,171 --> 00:14:28,251
I wouldn't make a dinner!
354
00:14:29,808 --> 00:14:31,528
Sure a man doesn't do dinner.
355
00:14:31,528 --> 00:14:33,778
(laughing)
356
00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:38,046
- I'm not eating that.
357
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,301
- What's wrong?
358
00:14:40,284 --> 00:14:41,374
- Look at it!
359
00:14:44,456 --> 00:14:45,706
- Jesus Christ!
360
00:15:02,683 --> 00:15:03,603
- Oh Jesus!
361
00:15:04,507 --> 00:15:05,337
Oh Jesus!
362
00:15:07,308 --> 00:15:09,808
You wouldn't get that in Naas.
363
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:13,859
- [Man] Two minutes people.
364
00:15:13,864 --> 00:15:15,254
- Twenty pence an hour to park the car,
365
00:15:15,254 --> 00:15:18,554
no wonder this country's gone to shite.
366
00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:20,757
- Now now, don't be nervous.
367
00:15:20,756 --> 00:15:22,676
- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
368
00:15:22,682 --> 00:15:24,492
oh my god, he's beautiful.
369
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:26,922
- Did you make that?
370
00:15:26,915 --> 00:15:28,415
- Did I make this?
371
00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:31,935
Did I make this?
372
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:33,175
- [Both] No, no!
373
00:15:33,175 --> 00:15:35,405
(laughing)
374
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:36,668
- He's a man.
375
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:38,517
- I'm a man sure.
376
00:15:38,518 --> 00:15:40,108
- He doesn't even know
where the kitchen is.
377
00:15:40,109 --> 00:15:41,659
- I don't even know where the kitchen is.
378
00:15:41,663 --> 00:15:43,373
- And he's terrible stupid.
379
00:15:43,365 --> 00:15:44,405
- I'm terrible...
380
00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:46,828
- And he's an awful gobshite.
381
00:15:49,322 --> 00:15:50,612
- Too far.
382
00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:52,855
(laughing)
383
00:15:54,670 --> 00:15:58,540
Take the food, I told you
don't give me the food!
384
00:15:58,538 --> 00:16:01,238
Jesus Christ, you're going to blow this.
385
00:16:01,235 --> 00:16:02,885
- [Announcer] Live from
Dublin, welcome to the
386
00:16:02,886 --> 00:16:05,266
Calor Kosangas Housewife of the Year show
387
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:08,788
and here's your host, Mr. Ray Ahern.
388
00:16:08,788 --> 00:16:10,618
- Please welcome our first finalist
389
00:16:10,622 --> 00:16:14,392
tonight, Ms. Fionnuala
Lorrigan from Waterford.
390
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:18,630
Now your talent is to
find items of clothing
391
00:16:18,633 --> 00:16:21,063
that haven't been aired properly.
392
00:16:21,060 --> 00:16:22,640
You've got five seconds.
393
00:16:22,643 --> 00:16:23,483
Are you ready?
394
00:16:23,476 --> 00:16:24,916
- I'm ready Ray.
395
00:16:24,922 --> 00:16:26,132
- Go!
396
00:16:26,132 --> 00:16:28,792
- [Fionnuala] Dry, dry, dry, dry.
397
00:16:28,792 --> 00:16:31,062
These here slacks.
398
00:16:31,055 --> 00:16:34,745
- Excellent, well done,
well done, Fionnuala.
399
00:16:34,749 --> 00:16:36,499
Well done, good girl.
400
00:16:40,409 --> 00:16:42,859
- It's her, it's the
woman from Dublin, look!
401
00:16:42,857 --> 00:16:44,767
Oh God she's beautiful.
402
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:48,750
- Mrs. Delahunty, is it true that you
403
00:16:48,748 --> 00:16:52,118
once made volivents for
Daniel O'Donnell, is it?
404
00:16:52,122 --> 00:16:53,922
- You've won Housewife of the Year 17
405
00:16:53,921 --> 00:16:57,871
years now, what's your
secret, Mrs. Delahunty?
406
00:16:57,870 --> 00:16:59,970
- Well to be honest, there are no
407
00:16:59,969 --> 00:17:03,189
secrets, just good honest hard work.
408
00:17:03,192 --> 00:17:04,862
And of course these.
409
00:17:11,223 --> 00:17:13,663
- How did she pass the drugs test?
410
00:17:13,656 --> 00:17:17,316
- Please welcome Mrs.
Delahunty from Dublin.
411
00:17:24,718 --> 00:17:27,848
- I like to call it chicken broccoli.
412
00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:28,764
(cheering)
413
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:30,167
- Oh for... Sake!
414
00:17:31,731 --> 00:17:33,131
The woman's a genius.
415
00:17:33,129 --> 00:17:34,819
- How can she be a genius, you said
416
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:37,571
all the people from Dublin are on drugs.
417
00:17:37,565 --> 00:17:39,415
- That's what Today Tonight said, Bridget.
418
00:17:39,418 --> 00:17:41,168
- [Ray] Well, let's have a little taste.
419
00:17:41,167 --> 00:17:43,167
- Chicken and broccoli.
420
00:17:43,165 --> 00:17:43,995
- Mmm!
421
00:17:47,623 --> 00:17:49,413
What is that on top?
422
00:17:49,405 --> 00:17:51,915
I don't think I've ever
tasted anything like it.
423
00:17:51,919 --> 00:17:53,419
- Breadcrumbs, Ray.
424
00:17:53,424 --> 00:17:54,944
Breadcrumbs.
425
00:17:54,935 --> 00:17:57,035
- Let's just go home.
426
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:57,870
We're f--
427
00:17:57,873 --> 00:18:00,523
- Ladies and gentlemen,
Mrs. Delahunty from Dublin!
428
00:18:00,524 --> 00:18:02,944
(applauding)
429
00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:07,046
- Okay Bridget, there's something
430
00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:08,653
really important I have to tell you now.
431
00:18:08,651 --> 00:18:10,191
There's just one thing that's in
432
00:18:10,191 --> 00:18:11,711
your way of winning this competition.
433
00:18:11,705 --> 00:18:13,705
- The woman from Dublin.
434
00:18:15,097 --> 00:18:16,857
- Okay, there's two things that are
435
00:18:16,858 --> 00:18:19,098
going to stop you from
winning this competition.
436
00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:20,567
But most importantly, when you're
437
00:18:20,568 --> 00:18:22,988
out there, don't be yourself.
438
00:18:25,288 --> 00:18:26,208
- You mean be myself.
439
00:18:26,209 --> 00:18:29,009
- No, don't be yourself.
440
00:18:29,006 --> 00:18:29,916
When you're out there and all the
441
00:18:29,915 --> 00:18:30,745
cameras are on you
442
00:18:30,748 --> 00:18:31,718
and Ray is interviewing you and
443
00:18:31,716 --> 00:18:33,176
everyone's staring at you,
444
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:36,780
just remember one thing,
don't be yourself.
445
00:18:36,776 --> 00:18:41,096
'Cause no one, no one cares
about you and for God's sake
446
00:18:41,095 --> 00:18:43,035
don't tell them that I made the lasagne.
447
00:18:43,041 --> 00:18:44,671
- Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for
448
00:18:44,673 --> 00:18:46,483
our final finalist tonight,
449
00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:48,964
please welcome Bridget.
450
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,100
(applauding)
451
00:18:50,102 --> 00:18:51,692
- Ooh, here she is!
452
00:18:58,565 --> 00:19:00,145
Walk Bridget, walk!
453
00:19:02,693 --> 00:19:04,173
- Bridget!
454
00:19:04,168 --> 00:19:06,998
Come over here Bridget, come over.
455
00:19:08,649 --> 00:19:09,889
I think it will be safe to say that
456
00:19:09,893 --> 00:19:14,063
you haven't been on live
television before, have you?
457
00:19:18,603 --> 00:19:19,993
- Eamon!
458
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:20,833
- Eamon.
459
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,583
Eamon of course, Eamon.
460
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,579
That's your husband, isn't it?
461
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:27,291
Is he here tonight?
462
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:30,462
- Eamon, he is yes, don't be yourself.
463
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,250
- Oh for, sake.
464
00:19:34,355 --> 00:19:37,585
- Tell us what dish have
you made for us tonight.
465
00:19:37,588 --> 00:19:38,918
- It's called...
466
00:19:42,258 --> 00:19:43,678
A lasagne.
467
00:19:43,678 --> 00:19:44,598
- Fabulous.
468
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,350
- I just whipped it up while I was
469
00:19:48,349 --> 00:19:50,849
watching Live At Three, I did.
470
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:54,287
- How long did you cook it for?
471
00:19:55,688 --> 00:19:56,688
- Two hours.
472
00:19:58,057 --> 00:19:59,217
At gas mark...
473
00:20:00,675 --> 00:20:01,505
What?
474
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:04,830
Five.
475
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:05,674
- Seven!
476
00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:07,167
- [Bridget] Seven.
477
00:20:24,687 --> 00:20:27,347
- Bridget didn't make that dish.
478
00:20:28,837 --> 00:20:31,827
P.M. today she spent two hours
479
00:20:31,826 --> 00:20:34,246
and 15 minutes getting her hair done.
480
00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:35,504
- Oh for, sake.
481
00:20:36,622 --> 00:20:38,762
- But more to the point, I have a
482
00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:40,728
video of the very person
483
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,824
who did make the lasagne.
484
00:20:44,736 --> 00:20:46,916
- Roll it there Colette.
485
00:20:46,923 --> 00:20:49,513
(upbeat music)
486
00:21:00,443 --> 00:21:03,283
(audience booing)
487
00:21:13,593 --> 00:21:15,433
- What did Eamon make?
488
00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:18,263
- You didn't know, did you?
489
00:21:18,256 --> 00:21:19,256
- Know what?
490
00:21:20,367 --> 00:21:22,447
- Eamon made the lasagne.
491
00:21:28,556 --> 00:21:29,966
- Oh Jesus Eamon!
492
00:21:31,343 --> 00:21:32,683
You let me down!
493
00:21:37,654 --> 00:21:40,344
- Eskimos, we'll be like
Eskimos now for the winter.
494
00:21:40,339 --> 00:21:43,469
- I told you we should
have got the installation.
495
00:21:43,472 --> 00:21:46,502
- Insulation, Bridget, and
insulation is a gimmick.
496
00:21:46,499 --> 00:21:49,199
Nobody will be insulating
their houses in 20 years time.
497
00:21:49,199 --> 00:21:50,849
Pebble dash, that's the way forward.
498
00:21:50,846 --> 00:21:51,676
I should have pebble dashed the
499
00:21:51,679 --> 00:21:54,099
whole house, inside and
out when I got the chance.
500
00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:57,926
- I know how we can keep ourselves warm.
501
00:21:57,930 --> 00:21:58,820
- I'm not turning on the electric
502
00:21:58,823 --> 00:22:00,343
heater, not even half a bar.
503
00:22:00,341 --> 00:22:01,721
I'm not JR Ewing you know.
504
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,240
You want a mortgage to pay for that yoke.
505
00:22:03,242 --> 00:22:05,082
- No, the natural way.
506
00:22:06,691 --> 00:22:07,981
- You can distinguish those thoughts
507
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,108
out of your head right now.
508
00:22:09,105 --> 00:22:10,035
You know what I blame?
509
00:22:10,043 --> 00:22:10,923
The Late Late Show.
510
00:22:10,923 --> 00:22:12,183
It has your mind twisted.
511
00:22:12,182 --> 00:22:14,832
It's pornography, it's pornography.
512
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,893
Do you know what?
513
00:22:15,888 --> 00:22:17,518
They arrested me for
cooking a bit of dinner,
514
00:22:17,523 --> 00:22:18,463
they should arrest your mind and put
515
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:19,540
it away for a few years.
516
00:22:19,541 --> 00:22:21,311
- I was the one arrested Eamon.
517
00:22:21,309 --> 00:22:22,339
But you know what?
518
00:22:22,338 --> 00:22:23,208
I thought you looked very handsome
519
00:22:23,205 --> 00:22:25,075
cooking on the tele.
520
00:22:25,075 --> 00:22:27,365
- Are you out of your tiny little mind?
521
00:22:27,371 --> 00:22:30,031
Who wants to look at a
grown man cooking food?
522
00:22:30,025 --> 00:22:31,155
Especially on the television, I tell
523
00:22:31,157 --> 00:22:32,967
you, the day a man gets his own
524
00:22:32,968 --> 00:22:34,878
show cooking food on the tele, is
525
00:22:34,878 --> 00:22:37,408
the day we've an issue
winning the Eurovision.
526
00:22:37,406 --> 00:22:40,806
- You're right, good night, Eamon.
527
00:22:40,811 --> 00:22:43,391
(upbeat music)
528
00:22:46,837 --> 00:22:47,967
- [Eamon] Take your hand away
529
00:22:47,972 --> 00:22:49,572
from there now, pretty lively Bridget
530
00:22:49,571 --> 00:22:52,021
or I'll cut it off with a hack saw.
531
00:22:52,017 --> 00:22:55,527
I'm warning you Bridget,
take it away, take it away.
532
00:22:55,530 --> 00:22:56,360
Bridget!
533
00:22:56,363 --> 00:22:57,203
Bridget!
534
00:23:12,779 --> 00:23:15,779
- Lads, this is Dervla from Thurles.
535
00:23:18,804 --> 00:23:20,494
- Eh, would you like a beard?
536
00:23:20,493 --> 00:23:23,023
Sorry, my moustache, sorry my mistake.
537
00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:24,370
- I warned you Eamon, that's it,
538
00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:25,960
you're under arrest, come on.
539
00:23:25,962 --> 00:23:29,712
I warned you, come on,
come on, come with me.
540
00:23:38,033 --> 00:23:39,873
- Do The Golden Girls.
541
00:23:39,923 --> 00:23:44,473
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