All language subtitles for Boston Legal [2x03]

Always fantasize
about my murder trial.

I think next time
I'll leave little clues.

What do you mean, "next time"?

Hey, listen, I think

you'll remember
reverend Diddum.

It turns out the
reverend is also a lawyer.

I've decided to let
him handle my divorce.

Instead of targeting the

ex-husband, we go
after the reverend.

The reverend?

Three sexual
harassment complaints.

The man has a
certain weakness.

What exactly did
he say about killing?

It makes him feel godly.

It was very
empowering taking a life.

That's not something
we can arrest him for.

We need to talk, Alan.

No, we don't. You've

refallen for a
former boyfriend.

You've decided to go
back to him. So be it.

I would like to talk about it.

Why?

To put a tidy little bow on it

in celebration
of the friendship?

We're breaking up, Tara.

Let's not turn it
into a hallmark moment.

At the root of our
relationship was a friendship.

That was perhaps your root.

For me, it's
the little things,

sharing a glass of
wine as we do the crossword,

early morning coffee,
listening to books on tape

while I teethe
on your left breast.

Tara?

I'm sorry.

I have little doubt you're

doing what's best for you.

I decided not
to go back to him.

Then what is it
we're not talking about?

As much as it
might not be him,

I suppose he made me

realize that it
isn't you either.

As much as I love you and...

I do very much...

I need to move on.

I suppose it's
better than moving in.

I really believe if a
woman is going to move on,

she should be
required to move away.

A woman once left me

because the way I
grunted during sex

reminded her of
her potbellied pig.

You grunt like
a pig during sex?

And when I fell asleep after,

she said I snored like her

pig, too. You just can't win.

Relationships end
for all sorts of reasons.

The only thing you
can do is go fishing.

Cancel the rest
of your week, Alan.

I'm taking you to Nimmo bay.

Don't be ridiculous.

This is not a meaningful life.

Practicing law, drinking

scotch at 9
o'clock in the morning.

Well, maybe the
scotch is meaningful.

But practicing
law, making money,

settling petty disputes,

life is in British columbia

in the great bear rainforest.

God is out there, Alan.

God likes to fish?

We need to go to the
woods and touch ourselves,

get in touch with ourselves.

Man can only
truly bond in the woods.

Come on, Alan.

Let's go fishing.

I'm not a good flyer,
especially helicopters.

I don't
understand the aerodynamics.

And I'm feeling
quite inclined to vomit.

There's fish down there, man.

In that case...

Coming up to it. Look. There.

The Naiad explorer.

There it is. Nimmo bay!

They're surrendering.

Do they think we're attacking?

That's how they
welcome the guests.

Denny, this may
not be the time but...

I hate nature.

Mrs. Piper?

Detective Stephenson.

- Remember me?
- No.

Is there
someplace we can talk?

After you came to see us,

we decided to put a tracking

device in
Bernard Ferrion's car.

He hasn't used it for a week.

We knocked on his door, talked

to neighbors.
Nobody's seen him.

We entered his
house, looked around.

Seems he's vanished.

Really? Gee.

When was the
last time you saw him?

About a week ago, I guess.

I had dinner at his house.

Let's see, on Friday.

Yeah, that's the
last day anybody saw him.

What did you talk about?

Well, if you must know,

I decided to
end our friendship.

Maybe he went fishing.

I hear men do that.

Did he know that you tried to turn him in?
No!

If you hear from him,

- Would you let us know?
- Of course.

- I'making progress.
- What progress?

Just get him compromised and

proceed directly to blackmail.

Do not pass go...
First of

all, I am not about blackmail.

In so many words.

And second, when I
decide to screw somebody,

even figuratively, I still like foreplay.
Nice.

The man isn't stupid, Garrett.

I need to move slowly.

Please, dear father, give us

the serenity to find accord,

the compassion to
find victory and fairness

and to remember that
despite our differences,

we remain one man under God.
Amen.

Okay. We last left off
on vacation allowances.

I still have to deny that.

Well, he was accustomed during

the marriage...
As a luxury.

I like that we
start with the prayer.

Thank you for that.

You're a nice person.

Can we table the
vacation allowance for now

and get back to health insurance?
Sure.

Give me a sec to
just run these numbers.

10 o'clock, 2 o'clock.

10 o'clock, 2 o'clock.

Make up your
mind. What time is it?

Forward cast stops
at 10, backcast at 2.

You want to let
the rod do the work.

When will it
finally be my turn?

You guides aren't
very good at sharing.

Okay. It's not a fly swatter.

Where are all the fish?

Can't hit the river
until you learn to cast.

Look at you, roughing
it in the great outdoors.

- 10 and 2.
- Stop with the time.

- Hello, Catherine.
- Hello.

- May I help you?
- Well, I, uh...

- I may have a situation.
- Okay.

I had befriended a man,

Bernard Ferrion, a
seemingly benign little person

who had killed both
his mother and neighbor

this firm represented him.

Alan got him off both times.

Are you aware of any of this?
Some.

Well, at his core, I

maintained
Bernard was not evil,

which is, I suppose, in part
why I befriended him.

But I suddenly
became convinced

he was evil and
would kill again.

I went to the police

and revealed some things

that may have been privileged.

I'm sorry about that.

But my conscience...

Anyway, the police
said little could be done,

which stunned me, of course.

Well, I became
horrified, I suppose,

at the prospect of Bernard
taking more human life.

And?

I killed him.

What do you
mean, you killed him?

I bludgeoned him
with his own skillet.

And now the police
are asking questions,

- And I don't know what to do.
- Catherine...

- You killed a man?
- Yes, dear.

If only your prolonged
staring could bring him back.

She doesn't want us
to go to the police.

She's not looking
to turn herself in,

so much as, I
guess, she wants to

be prepared
should she be arrested.

She killed one of our clients?

First thing we
have to make sure of is,

we don't have some legal
obligation to report it.

No, we don't. A confession to
you is privileged.

What about our
duty to Bernard Ferrion?

He was a client.

I'm not sure our duty there
would survive his death.

Hit him on the
head with a skillet?

At a minimum, it would be a

public relations nightmare

if it got out that we
knew and said nothing.

I think we need to convince

her to confess to the police.

I don't think she has any
intention of doing that.

- Where's the body?
- Evidently, in his basement.

- She just killed him?
- Yes, Paul, she killed him.

He's dead. Can we move on?

Tara, is this woman insane.

- Clearly, she must be.
- She has to be fired.

No, that would be an

indirect
violation of privilege.

If that action
could indirectly...

She kills clients!

I think we need to convince
her to go to the police.

And if she refuses?

We lie to her, tell her the

police are about to find out.

We can't lie to her, Paul.
She's a de facto client.

Doing nothing
here could devastate

the moral
integrity of this firm.

Where is Alan Shore? He has a
relationship with her.

- He's in Canada.
- Tara dumped him.

- Is he reachable?
- Apparently not.

Well, Shirley, you need to

persuade the woman to confess.

Even if it's to her legal detriment?
Yes.

Sometimes the
firm has to come first.

You can see them in there.

Look at the
crystal-clear water.

My fly went right by his nose.

Eat it, you picky bastard.

Should I be concerned that
the guide brought a gun?

Well, you never know when a
grizzly will wander out.

Relax.

Just catch a
fish, would you please?

Unlike you, I didn't
eat back at the lodge.

Who cooks it, by the way?

It's catch and release.

What do you mean?

We let them go.

What do you
mean, "we let them go?"

We just traveled 3,500

miles. We don't
get to eat them?

I brought you out here
to expose you to, to...

Big fish, which I'm
now told we can't eat.

Once you see one and
hold one in your hand,

not that you will, because

they're almost
impossible to catch,

but I might if
the gods favor me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Wait just a second.

Did you say I
might not even get one?

It's called
fishing, man, not catching.

No, no, no, no.

You haul me halfway across

the world to help me get over

my painful breakup with...

Tara.
And now you're

telling me the
fish are uncatchable?

By beginners.

I'll get one if you just
shut up and let me fish.

- Fish on!
- Hey, we got one!

- Look at that!
- What do I do?

- Keep it on your line!
- All right, tip up!

Don't lose your
balance, man. Stand up!

Let it run. He's on your
line! Don't horse it in!

Keep your line taut!
Fight him, man, fight him!

The odds are, Catherine,

the police will find out.

It is our
united feeling that the

best way to
achieve the most leniency,

is for you to go to the
police of your own accord

and tell them what happened.

You're lying, dear.

Why would I lie?

Because the worst thing

that can happen to this firm,

is for it to
become public that one

of your
employees murdered a client

and you sat on
the information.

I may not be a lawyer but,

it seems to me
that if I confess,

it might make
things easier for them.

Catherine, on the one hand,

you tried to introduce
Bernard Ferrion to your faith

in the hopes of
saving his soul.

But denying
this man a funeral,

his opportunity to
rest in peace with god,

that isn't in
keeping with his salvation.

Did you commit this act

because he was
evil or because you are?

Because he was.

Then I would advise you,

do not let his final legacy be

the destruction of your moral

and spiritual character.

This firm will defend you.

I give you my word.

You will have this
firm's full resources.

I want Alan Shore.

If I can get him
back to the charity at

heart discount of
six and a quarter...

I couldn't sell it.

Oh, I have a hard
time believing that, Sara.

You seem so incredibly...

compelling.

Surely you can
move Denise a little...

perhaps in the way...

you move me.

I'm afraid I'm
going to have...

to have another
attorney handle this matter.

I beg your pardon?

It's just divorce
law isn't my specialty,

and I feel Denise's

interests aren't
best being served.

You're doing
wonderful work here.

We're almost at a
meeting of the minds.

It's not the meeting of the
minds that concerns me.

I'm sorry. I
shouldn't have said that.

- What did you mean by it?
- Nothing.

I apologize. I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.

Okay.

I'm attracted to you.

I mean, I'm not.

I just think I am.

Which is to say,

I have a problem.

Problem?

I shouldn't be
litigating with clergy.

What do you mean?

This has to
just be between us.

You can't tell your client.

Should it ever get
back to my client...

No, I give you my word.

I, um...

I have a clergy fetish.

Clergy fetish.

I've been
secretly prolonging these

negotiations just
to be close to you.

Perhaps I can help.

- You need to leave.
- No. Sara...

You need to go now, reverend.

Just go.

- How did we do?
- He's ready to fall.

- When?
- He'll be back.

And I'll close it.

I can't believe
I'm here doing this.

Well, we have
to at least see the

scene before
calling the police.

Why do they always put the

dead bodies in the basement?

So they can still entertain.

Well, there's
nothing down here.

Looks like she lied to us.

Look.

Did she say he was in an icebox?
Nope.

- Open it.
- You open it.

- Why me?
- You're a man. Do the math.

Oh, no. I'm not opening it.

I still can't
believe I'm even here.

I make over a
million dollars a year,

and I'm in a basement
looking for a dead midget.

Good job! Another one?

What's he got on?

He's bigger than the last one.

- Look, Denny, look!
- I see. I see.

Keep your tip up.
Tip up. That's it.

- Now let him run.
- Oh, my god.

I saw his mouth.
He had a smile, Denny.

He likes being caught. You
see how happy he looked?

Okay, gain some
line on her. Reel it in.

Hold on. Let me
check the drag there.

The guide is bonding. Okay.

This is unbelievable,
Denny. You have no idea.

You really should try
catching one. Oh, my god.

You promised me Alan Shore.

You'll get him as soon as he
gets back from Canada.

Well, why can't
you just call him?

Because he has his
satellite phone turned off.

You'll get him, Catherine.

I promise.

In the meantime, arraignment

is set for 9 A.M. tomorrow.

Between now and then,
do not talk to anybody.

And I realize,
Catherine, that for you

this represents the
challenge of a lifetime.

We need to keep all
our defense options open.

And for that to
happen, you cannot talk.

Excuse me, is it unusual to

catch five cohos in one day?

I mean, while your fishing
partner catches none?

If you caught five, I'd say
you had a bit of luck.

Beginner's luck.

You're not competitive over

this sort of
thing, are you, Denny?

Could you pass me
the ashtray, please?

Ah. Thank you.

I'd have reached
for it myself but,

my shoulders are a bit sore
from all that reeling.

- How many did you catch?
- I didn't fish.

So that would put you
about even with Denny.

I'm sorry. Are
you Denny Crane?

I am. And I'm not your father.

I'm Peter Barrett.
I'm an attorney, actually,

and I'm a big admirer.

Fine. I'm still
not your father.

You're a salmon
fisher, Mr. Crane?

I catch 'em in my sleep.

That must be the only
place he catches them.

I see why Tara dumped you.

I'm about to.

There's no Tara.
Don't be deceived.

Denny and I are lovers.

I'm a heterosexual, and I
catch salmon like one.

Well, you won't be catching

them for long, I'm afraid.

Wild pacific salmon
are being wiped out.

What are you talking about?

Sea lice are killing them.

The weight of evidence points
toward the fish farms.

Fish farms?
The penned fish

in the fish
farms host the lice,

which attach
themselves to the baby

wild salmon
migrating past the pens,

and it's destroying them.

I'm actually
here because I'm going

into court in
port McNeill tomorrow

to try to enjoin another fish
farm from going in.

Boy, would I love to go in

with the Denny
Crane by my side.

You one of those
environmental lawyers?

Is there
something wrong with that?

They're evildoers. Yesterday

it's a tree.
Today it's a salmon.

Tomorrow it's "let's
not dig up Alaska for oil"

"because it's too pretty."

Let me tell you something.

We came out
here to enjoy nature.

Don't talk to me
about the environment.

All reality.
None of it scripted.

Sara, I must tell you, I,

too, have felt a connection.

Maybe what you're feeling

isn't the product of a fetish

so much as two of God's

children desirous
of coming together.

- Take off your collar.
- I'm sorry?

I want to see you as a man

for a second,
not as a minister.

Please take it off.

Now give it to me.

Have you come to make love to me, reverend?
Yes.

We need to
settle the case first,

at a number where
I can't possibly be

accused of any
conflict of interest.

390.

I can sell it to him.

Can we make love here?

I don't want to go anywhere.

I just want to
do it right here.

It's what God wants.

Can I watch? Reverend,
reverend, you little slut.

What's going on?

What's going on is you

selling out
your client for sex.

It's what God wants.

I'm shocked. This is
what's going to happen.

You're going to
tell your client

that he'll get a
check for $100,000.

He'll take it because it's
more than he deserves,

perhaps more than he'll
get if he goes to trial.

I'll report the both of you.

To who? Your church or mine?

100 grand. Think
on it. Pray on it.

Off you go now.

Oh, my god.

This book, "A
stain upon the sea",

it's all about these sea lice.

- Interesting.
- They call them "cling-ons."

Did you say Klingons?

They really could wipe out

salmon if
something isn't done.

They have to do something.

Don't you care?

What's the
worst-case scenario?

they're extinct
in 20 years or so?

I'm 72. I'll be extinct in 10.

What do I care?

That would be humorous

if so many people didn't
think exactly that way.

When does the male bonding

part come in on this trip?

I'm not into the
Canadian weenie welding.

What scares you
most in life, Denny?

I told you.

I got the mad cow,

and my penis only
works on medication.

Yes, besides that.

Dying?

I've died many times.

Can we talk about
something other than sex?

What about you?
What scares you?

Being alone, I guess.

Don't get me
wrong. I love solitude.

I like it best
in relationships.

But...

it's gonna feel strange not
having Tara in my bed.

I've always had
this feeling and

I've never
shared it with anybody.

But I'm convinced in a past

life I was
murdered in my sleep.

You're wacko.

I'm trying to
be vulnerable here.

Could you toss me a
bone, give me something?

I know what you're doing.

And I'm not sleeping
with you. Forget about it.

Turn off the light.

You're not getting my bone.

Don't take this personally.

Keeps away the bad dreams.

Understood.

Denny?

I'm really glad we did this.

Me, too.

What are you doing in my bed?

I don't know.

What do you
mean you don't know?

I got scared.

I thought I
heard a bear outside,

and then I
couldn't fall back asleep.

Turns out I find pig
sounds rather soothing.

Plus your
snoring is so rhythmic.

I just laid
down to calm myself.

I'm sorry.

We slept together.

I won't tell. I promise.

$100,000? And we're done?

Yes.

May I ask why?

Well, basically,
reverend Diddum convinced me

that coming out of this

financially
richer isn't worth it

at the expense of
my, um, well, dignity.

But the truth is, Denise, I
can provide for myself,

and I will make that tour.

Having to go a little hungry

is perhaps
exactly what I need.

If I inherit
success, I can never earn it.

So this is, uh...

this is what I'm doing.

Okay.

I admire that.

Reverend Diddum,

I admit, I doubted
your integrity. I'm sorry.

I accept your apology.

Well, upon execution of

the papers, I'll cut a check.

I guess we're done.

What did you do?

We made a strong presentation

regarding the
economics of a trial

balanced by the risk
factor of his losing.

Then we made a compelling

principle-based
argument targeting character.

Ultimately,
they were persuaded.

What did you do?

Hey, Denny!

You might want to
speed up your retrieve.

Oh, shut up.

Bite it! It's right
in front of your mouth.

Eat it! You miserable bastard.

This one came in quickly.

Maybe word got
out I don't eat them.

I must be up to 15 by now.

Not that I'm counting. Denny
certainly isn't.

- Picture?
- Why not?

It couldn't be
closer to your mouth.

Oh, it's a steelhead. You got
a steelhead.

One's more
beautiful than the next.

Don't squeeze him too tight.

You miserable bastards!

God, these things are strong.

They really are extraordinarily
beautiful creatures.

Got one!

Catherine, we have
to offer some defense.

Look at me, dear. I'm old.

Older than you, even.

I'm not gonna go out of this
world making excuses.

I don't know what your
impression of prison is,

but it's not the kind of

place where you can sit around

and knit Afghans for a few

months and sell
them afterwards.

You are up on murder charges.

He was gonna kill again.

The police
wouldn't do anything.

He had a look in his eye that
he might even whack me

if I crossed him.

Well, I wasn't
gonna wait for that.

I tried to introduce
the little weasel to God.

Well, now he can meet him
up close, face-to-face.

Can I fish yet?

No. You still have a
time-out. You just sit there.

As you said yourself, Denny,

these fish are positively
majestic. Sacred, even.

And you shot one.

- Sometimes I get competitive.
- Really?

You've upset the guide.

I'll tell you this, Denny.

I see it now, how this kind of

nature can
renew you spiritually.

I really see it.

Tell you something else. In

our day jobs, we're lawyers,

- And we're good ones.
- What's your point?

My point is, given
this, given those salmon,

there's a hearing
going on in port McNeill.

We need to go be lawyers now.

Your first logistical
obstacle is the robes.

Canadian lawyers
appear in black robes.

We should be able borrow them.

If all else fails, we could

stop at a
costume shop. What else?

The judges are
called "Milord."

Not "Your honor," but

"Milord." It's a
lot like in England.

What time was the motion?

According to
the docket, 11 A.M.

How far away are you?
20 minutes.

Well, you'll probably join

in progress, then. Good luck.

And, Alan?

I miss you.

Case number 932612,

commonwealth of Massachusetts
vs. Catherine Piper

on the charge of
murder in the first degree.

Shirley Schmidt for
the defendant, your honor.

We'll waive reading and enter
a plea of not guilty.

I'd also like to enter the
appearance of Alan Shore.

Question of bail?

My client has
no criminal record,

your honor,
dating back to the 1800s.

She has strong
roots in her community.

There is no flight risk.

Personal recognizance
for a homicide case...

Usually wouldn't apply,

but my client may
have special medical needs

due to her
incredibly advanced years.

And the criminal
act in question here

involves one lone
incident of self-defense.

Excuse me. You're pleading self-defense?
We are.

The defense will
stipulate to the fact

that she caused Bernard
Ferrion to cease living.

We will stipulate
to cause of death.

The only issue before this

court will be justification.

Hence we move for a
speedy and immediate trial,

citing, once again,

my client's advanced years.

Ms. Murrow?

We have no problem
with a speedy trial.

Bail is set at $300,000.

We'll conference to
set up a trial date.

The affirmative defense of
self-defense is so noted.

Mrs. Piper, you choose to address the court?
No.

I just...

is it possible to request
the Robert Blake jury?

There's just no
scientific evidence

that the sea lice are

causing the
death of wild salmon.

That is ridiculous.

Sea lice wiped out the
salmon stock in Norway.

They wiped out
the stockin Scotland.

All we're saying is let's
wait and do the research.

This is a vendetta
against the farmed fish.

There's no such thing.

We have no
issue with farmed fish

so long as they
can raise their stock

in an environmentally
sustainable manner

and not host
millions of sea lice.

Closed containment systems
have been shown to work.

Okay, gentlemen,
I've heard your arguments.

I have your briefs.

I'll review the matter
as well as the science.

Greetings, Oh, Canada!

Denny Crane.

Good morning, Milord.
My name is Alan Shore,

and Mr. Crane
and I are attorneys

from the
commonwealth of Massachusetts.

We seek
permission to be heard on

this issue as
friends of the court.

Mr. Shore, we don't
wear wigs in Canada.

Nor do we wear waders.

Milord, we've just spent the

last two days in your rivers,

in your countryside.

It is the most spectacular
nature I have ever seen.

And the fish,
they're enough to

make one believe
in a higher power.

Yes. How many of the higher

power's creations did you torture?
15.

Denny didn't catch any.

I get your implication, judge,

and I acknowledge the
hypocrisy of the fisherman

pleading for the
survival of a species

only so that he'll
be able to continue

dragging them to the shore by
the lip in perpetuity.

But causing a
fish discomfiture

and causing it
to become extinct

are two very different things,

and when talking
about the pacific salmon,

this is a species that
goes back to the ice age.

One that is born on a river,

migrates up to
2,000 miles in the sea,

then returns to the very
place of birth to spawn

against
enormous, miraculous odds,

bringing nutrients on its

journey to
sustain the bald eagles,

the grizzly bears, the wolves,

even the rain
forests themselves.

An entire coastal
ecosystem depends on them.

If Charlotte the
spider was still alive today,

she'd be writing in
her web, "some fish."

Yes, well, forgive me,

but I find it insulting to be

lectured by an
American on the environment.

Watch it, judge.
We're a superpower.

Don't make us
add you to the axis.

Being from the
United states, I

have an
expertise on the issue.

- Do you?
- Yes.

Remember we're the country
that's practically wiped

the grizzly bear off our maps.

We got rid of bull trout.

To see a Florida panther,

you have to go
to a hockey game.

We seek to count hatchery

salmon as wild
so the numbers go up

and we can
take the actual wild

salmon off the
endangered species list.

Almost a hundred different
bird and animal species

have gone extinct
in the last 30 years,

while our national policy

remains "it's not a priority."

I know all about economic

interests
trumping the environment.

And truthfully,

if we were
talking about the Virgin

island screech owl
or the fresno kangaroo,

I might not care.

But this is
the pacific salmon.

The sea lice are killing them.

Once they're gone, judge,

my god, they're gone.

Oh, yes.

Mindful that abroad people

tend to expect shock and awe

when yankees
arrive on the scene,

we shall leave you with two
small but lasting words.

Denny Crane, eh?

Next week?

Well, assuming she
passes the psychiatric test

and is deemed
competent for trial.

How can you get to a
murder trial in a week?

Well, there are
no facts in dispute.

It comes down to
justification only.

Paul, we can't
let this case drag on.

The more it lives,
the more our reputation...

Shirley, we cannot compromise

the woman's defense

just to quickly
sweep it under...

Paul, we persuaded her to
confess, for god's sake.

Now you're worried
about compromising her?

It was in her best
interest to come forward.

Oh, right. I forgot.

We look better than we smell.

Shirley looked
at us kind of funny.

Do you think she knows that

we slept together?
She might.

We still have that glow.

Quite a trip.

I shot my first steelhead.

Thank you, Denny.

You took my mind off Tara.

You took me to a new land.

Most of all, took
me to a new place.

What do you mean?

You've occasioned, uh,

a cynical, material,

urban man to feel
passion for a fish.

I think Canada liked us.

How could they not?

Here. I think we make quite

a team, I can tell you that.

Yes, we do.

We're good on the road.

Indeed.