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1
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(♪ Ravel: Bolero)
2
00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:23,957
(Tyres squeal)
3
00:01:24,007 --> 00:01:25,804
(♪ Bolero continues)
4
00:02:20,047 --> 00:02:22,083
(♪ Bolero continues)
5
00:02:38,167 --> 00:02:39,964
(Music stops)
6
00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:42,126
Major?!
7
00:02:44,327 --> 00:02:47,080
Oh, I'm looking for Constable Macbeth.
8
00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:50,118
This is Constable Macbeth.
9
00:02:52,647 --> 00:02:55,844
Hello. You must be Constable Patterson.
10
00:02:57,967 --> 00:03:00,003
Oh! Gosh...
11
00:03:01,967 --> 00:03:04,276
I wasn't quite sure what to expect.
12
00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:06,921
I do hope you're not too disappointed.
13
00:03:06,967 --> 00:03:10,198
No... Absolutely not.
14
00:03:10,247 --> 00:03:13,683
Good. Fetch in Constable Patterson's
bags, will you, John?
15
00:03:15,447 --> 00:03:17,438
Or, should I call you Anne?
16
00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:19,205
Oh, Anne would be super.
17
00:03:19,247 --> 00:03:21,078
Well, Hamish would be super too.
18
00:03:21,127 --> 00:03:23,482
Come inside
and I'll show you the old billet.
19
00:03:23,527 --> 00:03:25,324
Right.
20
00:03:26,047 --> 00:03:29,483
Old billet?
You're gonna blow this, Macbeth.
21
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:32,926
Hello?
22
00:03:33,887 --> 00:03:35,286
Hello.
23
00:03:37,127 --> 00:03:38,526
Where's Major Maclean?
24
00:03:38,567 --> 00:03:42,037
Still asleep. Jetlag, most likely.
25
00:03:42,087 --> 00:03:44,078
That's a new name for it.
26
00:03:44,127 --> 00:03:47,915
Didn't know you could get jetlag
coming from Tenerife.
27
00:03:51,087 --> 00:03:53,920
- A woman who speaks her mind.
- That's right.
28
00:03:58,167 --> 00:03:59,964
This is all very plain.
29
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,726
I've had no complaints from the major.
30
00:04:04,647 --> 00:04:08,162
Perhaps I should lend a hand
with the shopping in future.
31
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:11,358
In future?
You're stopping for a while then?
32
00:04:11,407 --> 00:04:12,806
Oh, forever.
33
00:04:12,847 --> 00:04:17,363
Perry and I are getting married...
just as soon as it can be arranged.
34
00:04:18,847 --> 00:04:20,599
So what's she like?
35
00:04:20,647 --> 00:04:22,239
She seems a nice wee lassie.
36
00:04:22,287 --> 00:04:24,721
A bit on the plain side for my taste.
37
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:28,601
She seems pleasant enough.
I directed her to the police house.
38
00:04:28,647 --> 00:04:31,764
I can't wait to see the new model Hamish.
39
00:04:31,807 --> 00:04:33,604
How's that lookin', John?
40
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:36,878
I've got him lookin' like
a tailor's dummy, Lachlan.
41
00:04:36,927 --> 00:04:40,602
I've even given him a pipe.
To lend an air of gravitas, you know.
42
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:43,445
A pipe?! You're windin' us up.
43
00:04:43,487 --> 00:04:46,479
- Cross my heart.
- Ah, but what's in the pipe, John?
44
00:04:46,527 --> 00:04:48,722
Don't you worry about that, Barney.
45
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:51,839
When that WPC
finishes her week's training
46
00:04:51,887 --> 00:04:54,560
and writes up her notes
on the experience,
47
00:04:54,607 --> 00:04:56,882
Constable Hamish Macbeth will shine.
48
00:04:56,927 --> 00:05:00,556
There'll be no references
to a policeman who's gone native.
49
00:05:00,607 --> 00:05:03,041
Or should be transferred out of here.
50
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:04,440
Exactly, Lachie junior.
51
00:05:04,487 --> 00:05:07,001
Professor Svensson,
what can I do for you?
52
00:05:07,047 --> 00:05:09,322
My key I must leave to you, Mr Meldrum.
53
00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:10,402
I'll take it.
54
00:05:10,447 --> 00:05:12,324
Oh, thank you.
55
00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:14,961
So... a hiking I will go.
56
00:05:15,007 --> 00:05:18,283
- Have a good day, Professor.
- Thank you.
57
00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:20,761
You've a professor staying at the hotel?
58
00:05:20,807 --> 00:05:21,956
Oh, yes.
59
00:05:22,007 --> 00:05:23,156
Hey, listen...
60
00:05:23,207 --> 00:05:25,721
d'you know what he's professor of?
61
00:05:25,767 --> 00:05:28,486
Well, it's certainly not English.
62
00:05:28,527 --> 00:05:31,087
He is professor of erotic studies
63
00:05:31,127 --> 00:05:34,802
at the Institute of Human Behaviour,
Stockholm.
64
00:05:34,847 --> 00:05:36,519
Erotic studies?
65
00:05:36,567 --> 00:05:38,364
Can you imagine?
66
00:05:44,007 --> 00:05:47,079
- Are we decent?
- Yes. Do come in.
67
00:05:52,567 --> 00:05:56,879
Ah! And who might he be, I ask myself?
68
00:05:56,927 --> 00:05:58,918
Oh, this is Daddy.
69
00:05:59,647 --> 00:06:02,844
He's a commander in the force,
as you can see, Hamish.
70
00:06:03,487 --> 00:06:06,126
Oh, I admire him enormously.
71
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:11,837
In a world full of cynicism
and increasingly lax attitudes,
72
00:06:11,887 --> 00:06:16,881
he strives to maintain the old values
of discipline and respect.
73
00:06:16,927 --> 00:06:19,441
He's one of a dwindling band, then.
74
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:24,086
Oh, but a band you so clearly belong to,
Hamish.
75
00:06:24,127 --> 00:06:25,719
Tush-tush.
76
00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:28,725
Tell me, where will you sleep
while I'm here?
77
00:06:28,767 --> 00:06:32,043
I thought I'd bunk down in the old cell.
78
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,806
I like a good firm mattress
underneath me.
79
00:06:34,847 --> 00:06:36,280
Oh.
80
00:06:36,327 --> 00:06:38,522
This one feels so...
81
00:06:40,047 --> 00:06:41,719
soft.
82
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:44,886
Oh, ah...
83
00:06:44,927 --> 00:06:47,725
I do hope I'm not putting you out.
84
00:06:52,687 --> 00:06:55,565
Good grief, look at the time!
Must be pushing on.
85
00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:58,679
I'll wait for you outside, shall I?
86
00:07:00,847 --> 00:07:02,724
Right.
87
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:10,079
John, c'mere, c'mere!
88
00:07:12,047 --> 00:07:13,275
What's wrong?
89
00:07:13,327 --> 00:07:15,283
She fancies me.
90
00:07:15,327 --> 00:07:17,887
She's only been here five minutes.
Are ye sure?
91
00:07:17,927 --> 00:07:22,125
I was lucky tae get oot wi' ma pants on,
plus her old man's a force commander.
92
00:07:22,167 --> 00:07:25,443
Hell hath no fury
like a commander's daughter scorned.
93
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:29,036
What'll she put in that report
if you don't put a grin on her face?
94
00:07:29,087 --> 00:07:34,559
That is immoral! It's no me she fancies,
it's this plonker I'm supposed tae be.
95
00:07:34,607 --> 00:07:38,043
Immoral? Since when did you
let stuff like that get in the way?
96
00:07:38,087 --> 00:07:42,444
Since I learned it's no the right way tae
be. It's no as if she's God's gift, is it?
97
00:07:42,487 --> 00:07:44,159
Ready when you are, Hamish.
98
00:07:56,247 --> 00:07:58,238
After you.
99
00:08:12,327 --> 00:08:14,204
Darling, you awake?
100
00:08:14,247 --> 00:08:16,044
Mm?
101
00:08:21,527 --> 00:08:23,882
I thought you might like
something to eat.
102
00:08:23,927 --> 00:08:26,122
- Mm.
- Keep your strength up.
103
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:30,285
(Clears throat) Never felt stronger...
104
00:08:32,007 --> 00:08:35,397
and it is all thanks to you, my love.
105
00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:40,726
(Laughs) So you say, my darling, but
there was that tiny wobble in Tenerife.
106
00:08:40,767 --> 00:08:45,397
I'm absolutely fine.
I feel like a young bull.
107
00:08:46,207 --> 00:08:50,962
Nevertheless,
I'd like you to see your own doctor.
108
00:08:51,007 --> 00:08:53,282
If it makes you happy, my love.
109
00:08:57,927 --> 00:08:59,758
How did you get on with Edie?
110
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:04,077
You know, my darling,
I think we'll have to talk about Edie,
111
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:08,086
but only after you've eaten that
and had your dessert.
112
00:09:33,847 --> 00:09:35,838
I was wondering, Hamish,
113
00:09:35,887 --> 00:09:38,276
if we make any arrests while I'm here...
114
00:09:39,407 --> 00:09:41,079
where will you sleep then?
115
00:09:41,127 --> 00:09:44,676
That's highly unlikely, Anne.
I run a tight ship here -
116
00:09:44,727 --> 00:09:47,287
no one ever steps out of line
in Lochdubh.
117
00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:52,198
Ah, some of the locals.
118
00:09:52,247 --> 00:09:54,602
Mr and Mrs Meldrum, Lachie McCrae,
119
00:09:54,647 --> 00:09:58,276
this is Constable Patterson,
she's here for some training.
120
00:09:58,327 --> 00:09:59,726
We've met, I think.
121
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,406
You couldn't have come
to a better place.
122
00:10:02,447 --> 00:10:05,166
This man is a consummate policeman.
123
00:10:05,207 --> 00:10:08,882
It would be a sad day for this village
if ever he were taken from us.
124
00:10:08,927 --> 00:10:11,805
I understand your sentiments entirely,
Mr Meldrum.
125
00:10:11,847 --> 00:10:14,361
You don't mind if I just check,
Mr Meldrum?
126
00:10:14,407 --> 00:10:17,638
- You go right ahead, Constable.
- Faulty tyres can kill.
127
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:26,885
1.8 - spot on.
128
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:29,566
Thank God for that, is all I can say.
129
00:10:29,607 --> 00:10:32,997
You don't want to fall foul of that man,
nosiree!
130
00:10:33,047 --> 00:10:35,038
Must push on. Constable Patterson.
131
00:10:35,087 --> 00:10:36,884
Oh.
132
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,641
She is an absolute honey.
133
00:10:43,687 --> 00:10:47,157
And she's looking for more than training
I should say.
134
00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:49,277
You know, I've been thinkin'...
135
00:10:49,327 --> 00:10:53,445
Hamish is going to be at our mercy
while she's here.
136
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:54,715
What d'you mean?
137
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,485
Well, we're all members
138
00:10:56,527 --> 00:11:00,076
of the recently formed
Police Community Liaison Committee,
139
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:03,483
so I say... we start to liaise.
140
00:11:03,527 --> 00:11:05,438
Who on earth is he?
141
00:11:05,487 --> 00:11:07,239
That's Rorrison Campbell.
142
00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:10,996
Local grocer and...
volunteer lollipop man.
143
00:11:12,287 --> 00:11:15,996
- Why is he dressed like that?
- Well, it was my idea, actually.
144
00:11:16,047 --> 00:11:18,766
I thought it'd make him
a trifle more conspicuous
145
00:11:18,807 --> 00:11:20,957
than the old white coat and hat.
146
00:11:21,007 --> 00:11:24,124
Aye. No driver
could fail to notice him in that.
147
00:11:25,927 --> 00:11:27,918
It's a wonderful idea, Hamish.
148
00:11:34,207 --> 00:11:36,323
Listen, Rory, sorry about the uniform
149
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:40,076
but it's very difficult to find a new slant
on the old lollipop duty.
150
00:11:40,127 --> 00:11:43,005
No need tae apologise.
Esme's crazy about it.
151
00:11:43,807 --> 00:11:45,604
She's got me wearing it at home.
152
00:11:45,647 --> 00:11:47,205
(Car horn beeps)
153
00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:51,004
Edie, is the major back?
154
00:11:51,047 --> 00:11:53,925
He's back and with a floozy in tow.
155
00:11:54,007 --> 00:11:57,317
Some barfly that's latched onto him
in Tenerife.
156
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,198
- What?
- I tell you, Hamish,
157
00:11:59,247 --> 00:12:02,956
when I got to the house I found them
doing some kind of devil dance -
158
00:12:03,007 --> 00:12:04,440
didn't know where to look.
159
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:07,846
It'll be a holiday romance -
they never last.
160
00:12:07,887 --> 00:12:11,004
No, they're getting married, Rory.
161
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:13,558
And what's gonna happen to me?
162
00:12:19,927 --> 00:12:21,485
Thank you, Agnes.
163
00:12:22,847 --> 00:12:26,886
Who would've thought it, eh?
The major, of all people.
164
00:12:26,927 --> 00:12:29,202
(Sighs) Maybe he's Ionely, Barney.
165
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:33,718
Aye, rattlin' about in that big house
can't be a lot of laughs,
166
00:12:34,727 --> 00:12:37,002
but at least it's bound to be true love.
167
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:38,116
What d'you mean?
168
00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:42,399
Well, this dame, she can't be
a gold digger - the major's penniless.
169
00:12:42,447 --> 00:12:44,836
Huh. But does she know that?
170
00:12:45,487 --> 00:12:49,639
Och, but I mean, you can't know for sure
that she'll give you the heave.
171
00:12:49,687 --> 00:12:54,397
I don't like that woman, Lachlan,
and she knows it.
172
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,923
(Sighs) She'll give me the heave
right enough.
173
00:13:00,087 --> 00:13:05,286
And God knows, the major
doesn't pay much, I need the money.
174
00:13:07,607 --> 00:13:09,404
What'll I do, Lachlan?
175
00:13:11,927 --> 00:13:13,326
Well...
176
00:13:14,047 --> 00:13:17,005
you could always... get yourself a man.
177
00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:21,877
Somebody to share
life's burdens with you, you know?
178
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,964
I've been on the shelf a long time,
Lachlan.
179
00:13:26,967 --> 00:13:28,719
Ah, but ye never know, Edie.
180
00:13:30,527 --> 00:13:32,722
Where there's life, there's hope.
181
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:36,002
That's what I always say.
182
00:13:41,607 --> 00:13:46,442
Hamish, I would like you to meet
my bride to be, Serena St Clair.
183
00:13:47,407 --> 00:13:50,365
- How do you do?
- I do very well, thank you.
184
00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:55,042
Seriously, I'm really glad
to meet you, Hamish.
185
00:13:56,687 --> 00:13:58,803
Perry speaks very highly of you.
186
00:13:58,847 --> 00:14:03,045
Well, I hold... Perry in high regard myself.
187
00:14:03,087 --> 00:14:06,602
Darling,
why don't you and Hamish have a chat
188
00:14:06,647 --> 00:14:08,877
while I go and make us some coffee?
189
00:14:22,927 --> 00:14:24,406
Aye.
190
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,158
Isn't she something?
191
00:14:30,207 --> 00:14:33,244
She's... something all right.
192
00:14:33,287 --> 00:14:38,680
We met at a ball in my hotel -
a night I'll never forget.
193
00:14:38,727 --> 00:14:43,562
The band... the band were playing
Ravel's Bolero.
194
00:14:43,607 --> 00:14:47,520
I looked across the room
and there she was.
195
00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:53,606
It's sort of become our tune, Bolero.
196
00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:56,325
So you met her on holiday?
197
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:59,245
Yes, yes, she has a villa on the island.
198
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,764
- Her own?
- Oh, yes.
199
00:15:01,807 --> 00:15:05,004
Oh, yes,
she's a woman of some means, Hamish.
200
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,198
Major, um...
201
00:15:15,647 --> 00:15:18,719
does Serena know
about your financial situation?
202
00:15:19,647 --> 00:15:21,046
I mean...
203
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:25,558
you know, from the outside,
you know, the land, the house,
204
00:15:26,327 --> 00:15:28,841
a stranger could get
the wrong impression.
205
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:32,118
Hamish, when you are with
a woman like Serena,
206
00:15:33,647 --> 00:15:37,083
you tend to forget your life
of genteel penury.
207
00:15:37,887 --> 00:15:39,445
And why?
208
00:15:39,487 --> 00:15:45,244
Because it doesn't matter.
We're purely and simply, in love.
209
00:15:46,167 --> 00:15:48,044
Yeah, but...
210
00:15:48,647 --> 00:15:49,966
But?
211
00:15:53,527 --> 00:15:55,961
But nothing, as long as you're happy.
212
00:15:56,007 --> 00:16:02,196
Happy? Hamish, I am ecstatic.
I am reinvigorated, reinvented, reborn!
213
00:16:04,767 --> 00:16:06,280
Did I say about my legs?
214
00:16:06,327 --> 00:16:07,919
Your legs?
215
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,765
Yes, now, I have beautiful legs.
216
00:16:12,327 --> 00:16:16,639
I'm in my middle years and I have
the legs of an 18-year-old boy.
217
00:16:16,687 --> 00:16:18,086
She saw it.
218
00:16:19,927 --> 00:16:23,397
Now... isn't it amazing?
219
00:16:24,407 --> 00:16:27,444
Major, I just don't know
how to respond to that.
220
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,796
Darling, coffee.
221
00:16:29,847 --> 00:16:31,121
Yes, coming, darling.
222
00:16:32,447 --> 00:16:37,601
Come on. We both have something
we would like to ask you.
223
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:42,323
- Good evening.
- Hi, there.
224
00:16:42,927 --> 00:16:44,485
Evening, all.
225
00:16:44,527 --> 00:16:46,677
Barney, get Hamish a pint.
226
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:50,358
- So, have you been over there?
- Just back.
227
00:16:50,407 --> 00:16:52,363
What's she like?
228
00:16:52,407 --> 00:16:53,396
(Whistles)
229
00:16:54,087 --> 00:16:56,999
- Good for the major.
- So, when's the big day, Hamish?
230
00:16:57,047 --> 00:17:01,677
Just as soon as the registrar
can fit them in, and I am to be best man.
231
00:17:02,447 --> 00:17:04,039
So it's gonna be a big do, is it?
232
00:17:04,087 --> 00:17:05,566
No, just the ceremony,
233
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:09,759
then Serena and the major are gonna
pop home for a quiet celebration.
234
00:17:11,327 --> 00:17:15,240
Eh, Agnes... can I have a word?
235
00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:17,156
Esme.
236
00:17:26,647 --> 00:17:29,639
Right. What it is, is...
237
00:17:29,687 --> 00:17:33,726
I was wondering if you could, erm...
maybe help me wi' a... a wee problem,
238
00:17:33,767 --> 00:17:36,520
- you being women, I mean.
- Of course, Hamish.
239
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:39,923
Good, Right, erm...
d'you know that WPC Patterson?
240
00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:41,764
She wants yer body.
241
00:17:43,447 --> 00:17:44,846
How d'ye know that?
242
00:17:44,887 --> 00:17:47,355
I saw her looking, Hamish.
243
00:17:47,407 --> 00:17:51,923
Me too and that is as bad a case
of the hots as I have ever seen.
244
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,485
So what d'you think I should do?
245
00:17:54,527 --> 00:17:57,041
You mean... you don't know?
246
00:17:57,087 --> 00:17:58,122
No.
247
00:17:59,447 --> 00:18:01,119
Well...
248
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,965
you could speak to Professor Svensson
over there.
249
00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:10,921
He might have some educational books
with illustrations and things.
250
00:18:10,967 --> 00:18:15,085
- Show you how to go about it, Hamish.
- What bits go where, things like that.
251
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:18,961
I see. I come for a bit of help
and this is what I get - ridicule.
252
00:18:19,007 --> 00:18:21,521
I'm trying tae show a bit o' restraint here.
253
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:25,037
Trying no tae take advantage
o' that woman - a sister, ladies.
254
00:18:25,087 --> 00:18:28,921
We know ye are, Hamish.
It's an admirable thing you're doing.
255
00:18:28,967 --> 00:18:30,958
So, we've had a word with John,
256
00:18:31,007 --> 00:18:34,886
and, er...
we've suggested something to him.
257
00:18:35,807 --> 00:18:38,719
Some people here are optimisticabout the future
258
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:41,884
but many more are apprehensiveand even fearful,
259
00:18:41,927 --> 00:18:46,557
raising, yet again, the whole questionof land ownership in the Highlands.
260
00:18:46,607 --> 00:18:49,485
Isobel Sutherlandfor The Highlands Today.
261
00:18:53,327 --> 00:18:55,887
... of the Glendoran estatein a dozen years
262
00:18:55,927 --> 00:19:00,000
- and despite repeated enquiries...
- Something of interest, Mr Mclver?
263
00:19:00,047 --> 00:19:03,722
Yes, the presenter, she's a local girl.
264
00:19:04,287 --> 00:19:06,005
Oh?
265
00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:11,075
She left to go into newspaper
and then came up north to do that.
266
00:19:11,127 --> 00:19:14,836
- To Lochdubh?
- No, no, Inverness.
267
00:19:16,687 --> 00:19:18,598
It's Hamish's tape, actually.
268
00:19:19,967 --> 00:19:22,720
They were... close, you know.
269
00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:27,045
I think he's still carrying a torch for her.
270
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:31,523
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
271
00:19:31,567 --> 00:19:33,762
Eh?
272
00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:37,243
Hamish is steeped
in the ethos of the force.
273
00:19:37,967 --> 00:19:39,958
A copper's copper.
274
00:19:41,007 --> 00:19:45,159
The force feeds him, clothes him,
even puts a roof over his head.
275
00:19:45,207 --> 00:19:50,327
People like Hamish tend to look to it
to provide them with a partner also,
276
00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:55,004
which is probably why
that relationship failed.
277
00:19:55,687 --> 00:19:57,086
Oh.
278
00:20:01,087 --> 00:20:03,601
Oh, well, back to the drawing board then.
279
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:42,358
(Murmurs)
280
00:20:48,767 --> 00:20:53,887
Oh, please, God, gimme the strength
to be a good man. Oh, please.
281
00:20:56,847 --> 00:20:59,122
I would like to bring this meeting
282
00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:02,557
of the Police Community
Liaison Committee to order,
283
00:21:02,607 --> 00:21:06,885
by formally welcoming WPC Patterson
to Lochdubh.
284
00:21:08,927 --> 00:21:10,758
Thank you very much.
285
00:21:11,807 --> 00:21:13,206
Thank you.
286
00:21:13,247 --> 00:21:15,636
The agenda, Hamish.
287
00:21:15,687 --> 00:21:18,201
- The what, what?
- The agenda, man.
288
00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:22,125
Ah, the old a-gen-da.
289
00:21:22,167 --> 00:21:25,842
And you'll see that there is
only the one item there, Hamish.
290
00:21:25,887 --> 00:21:27,286
Transport.
291
00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:29,880
What about transport?
292
00:21:29,927 --> 00:21:34,796
Well, whilst we recognise the need for
a Land-Rover, given the local terrain...
293
00:21:34,847 --> 00:21:37,156
It nevertheless has the adverse effect
294
00:21:37,207 --> 00:21:41,485
of rendering you, on occasion,
remote from the community.
295
00:21:41,527 --> 00:21:45,202
- You whizz by, if you see what I mean.
- Mm-hmm. Do carry on.
296
00:21:45,247 --> 00:21:50,196
So, we thought, that is the Police
Community Liaison Committee thought,
297
00:21:50,247 --> 00:21:53,045
that were you to vary
your mode of transport,
298
00:21:53,087 --> 00:21:56,045
that might alleviate the problem.
299
00:21:56,087 --> 00:21:58,806
And what exactly did you have in mind?
300
00:22:02,247 --> 00:22:05,796
(Gasps) Hamish, isn't it wonderful?
301
00:22:05,847 --> 00:22:07,644
Splendid.
302
00:22:09,727 --> 00:22:13,117
Every single last one of you
is a dead man.
303
00:22:13,167 --> 00:22:16,284
We must try it straightaway,
just to get the hang of it.
304
00:22:16,327 --> 00:22:17,680
That's a good idea.
305
00:22:17,727 --> 00:22:21,322
You will of course,
be riding Lochdubh fashion, Hamish.
306
00:22:21,367 --> 00:22:22,436
Lochdubh?
307
00:22:22,487 --> 00:22:24,159
Ladies at the front, Hamish.
308
00:22:24,207 --> 00:22:27,836
They say that Lochdubh's population
explosion in the '30s
309
00:22:27,887 --> 00:22:31,562
was not unconnected to the popularity
of the tandem at the time.
310
00:22:32,167 --> 00:22:33,885
What can he mean?
311
00:22:33,927 --> 00:22:35,963
(Bike bell)
312
00:22:44,687 --> 00:22:48,157
Oh, Hamish, the scenery!
313
00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:51,124
Yeah.
314
00:22:52,207 --> 00:22:55,085
Would you... like to stop for a while?
315
00:22:56,887 --> 00:22:58,684
No.
316
00:23:05,767 --> 00:23:06,961
(Horn beeps)
317
00:23:08,807 --> 00:23:10,126
Mm.
318
00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:11,964
Seems OK there.
319
00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:16,287
And you have no history
of blackouts, Major?
320
00:23:16,327 --> 00:23:18,283
No, none.
321
00:23:18,327 --> 00:23:21,205
One minute I was sitting
on the hotel balcony,
322
00:23:21,247 --> 00:23:24,637
and the next,
I was lying on the bathroom floor.
323
00:23:24,687 --> 00:23:27,565
What did the doctor in Tenerife say?
324
00:23:27,607 --> 00:23:31,282
Nothing. Serena called and called,
the man just never came out.
325
00:23:32,127 --> 00:23:36,518
When I seemed to make a full recovery,
I just put it out of my mind.
326
00:23:36,567 --> 00:23:38,956
- No nausea, nothing like that?
- No.
327
00:23:39,887 --> 00:23:41,878
- Nothing like it since?
- Nothing.
328
00:23:46,287 --> 00:23:49,245
I think we should take a blood sample,
have it looked at.
329
00:23:52,527 --> 00:23:59,763
Artichoke hearts, quail's eggs, caviar.
Veuve Clicquot and Bolly?
330
00:23:59,807 --> 00:24:04,517
Oh, yes, Veuve is Perry's favourite
bubbly, but I react terribly badly to it.
331
00:24:04,567 --> 00:24:05,716
- Oh.
- Mm.
332
00:24:05,767 --> 00:24:09,555
Dreadful rash
on every centimetre of my body.
333
00:24:11,087 --> 00:24:14,204
- So you'll be the Bolly person.
- That's right.
334
00:24:14,247 --> 00:24:16,761
Slips down a perfect treat
and no ill effects.
335
00:24:17,687 --> 00:24:19,757
Well then, it's Veuve and Bolly.
336
00:24:20,847 --> 00:24:22,758
- Half bottles?
- Of course.
337
00:24:22,807 --> 00:24:25,844
I practise moderation in most things,
Mr Campbell.
338
00:24:25,887 --> 00:24:27,161
Oh.
339
00:24:27,207 --> 00:24:29,846
Would tomorrow be too soon
to pick this up?
340
00:24:31,207 --> 00:24:32,606
Tomorrow would be fine.
341
00:24:32,647 --> 00:24:34,046
Thank you.
342
00:24:36,887 --> 00:24:38,479
Edie.
343
00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:40,119
Rory.
344
00:24:46,247 --> 00:24:49,444
Rory, the major can never afford all this.
345
00:24:49,487 --> 00:24:51,762
Maybe not, but she can
346
00:24:51,807 --> 00:24:56,039
and when they're married,
what's hers is his, right and vice versa?
347
00:24:56,847 --> 00:25:00,317
If I'm not mistaken, that was
a Hermes scarf she was wearing.
348
00:25:01,567 --> 00:25:03,717
She's not short of a bob or two.
349
00:25:07,487 --> 00:25:09,921
Good God, will she never go tae sleep?
350
00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:12,356
She's got things on her mind, Hamish.
351
00:25:12,407 --> 00:25:14,796
Maybe she's gone tae sleep
wi' the light on.
352
00:25:14,847 --> 00:25:16,405
I'm no goin' in tae put it out.
353
00:25:16,447 --> 00:25:18,881
Afraid of what
you might accidentally see?
354
00:25:18,927 --> 00:25:23,557
There's nothing accidental about it -
she knows what she's doing.
355
00:25:23,607 --> 00:25:25,916
- Hamish, look.
- Oh, thank God.
356
00:25:27,087 --> 00:25:28,998
Give her 37 minutes.
357
00:25:30,127 --> 00:25:31,116
37 minutes?
358
00:25:31,167 --> 00:25:33,761
Aye. That's as long as Agnes
has ever lasted.
359
00:25:33,807 --> 00:25:38,119
And when she's in the mood, she's as
determined as any young policewoman.
360
00:25:40,127 --> 00:25:42,516
Better make it 40,
she is a younger woman.
361
00:25:43,527 --> 00:25:45,324
Right ye are.
362
00:26:12,007 --> 00:26:13,804
Make it stop.
363
00:26:15,247 --> 00:26:17,397
Please...
364
00:26:17,447 --> 00:26:19,244
make it stop.
365
00:26:19,407 --> 00:26:24,242
You must've been late getting in
last night, Hamish. No trouble, I hope.
366
00:26:24,287 --> 00:26:27,643
No, no, I, I, I was, um... I was just...
367
00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:30,360
- At the major's.
...at the major's.
368
00:26:30,407 --> 00:26:33,922
- Practising to be best man.
- Practising to be best man.
369
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:37,403
You know, it says a great deal about you,
Hamish,
370
00:26:37,447 --> 00:26:40,086
that such an important figure
in the community
371
00:26:40,127 --> 00:26:41,924
should ask you to be his best man.
372
00:26:43,767 --> 00:26:46,156
It just... says so much.
373
00:26:53,687 --> 00:26:55,086
Ah, Edith.
374
00:26:55,727 --> 00:26:57,524
Yes?
375
00:26:59,047 --> 00:27:00,958
Oh, Edie...
376
00:27:03,967 --> 00:27:06,925
She sent you to do the dirty work,
hasn't she?
377
00:27:06,967 --> 00:27:09,527
She is going to be my wife, Edith.
378
00:27:11,527 --> 00:27:15,315
I'll stay till you're married -
is that all right, Major?
379
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:18,086
Yes, oh, yes, yes, that would be fine.
380
00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:24,158
I...
381
00:27:24,207 --> 00:27:26,402
I am so very sorry.
382
00:27:30,727 --> 00:27:34,003
There we are. Have you enough sugar
in your tea, Constable?
383
00:27:34,047 --> 00:27:37,676
- Splendid, Mrs Meldrum, splendid.
- Oh, and mine. Thank you.
384
00:27:39,207 --> 00:27:41,004
Professor, is that you off?
385
00:27:41,047 --> 00:27:44,039
Yes, to Rome I must be going,
I'm scared.
386
00:27:44,087 --> 00:27:45,679
No, "I'm afraid."
387
00:27:46,727 --> 00:27:48,524
You too?
388
00:27:50,287 --> 00:27:51,925
Well, bon voyage.
389
00:27:51,967 --> 00:27:53,161
Thank you.
390
00:27:53,207 --> 00:27:54,606
Let me give you a hand.
391
00:27:54,647 --> 00:27:56,046
Thank you.
392
00:28:03,447 --> 00:28:05,244
Thank you, young gentleman.
393
00:28:05,287 --> 00:28:06,640
(Horn beeps)
394
00:28:08,527 --> 00:28:10,324
Hey!
395
00:28:11,727 --> 00:28:14,116
Hey, hey! Hey!
396
00:28:14,167 --> 00:28:16,920
- Professor?
- That is Lottie La Rue.
397
00:28:16,967 --> 00:28:18,161
No, I don't think so.
398
00:28:18,207 --> 00:28:19,606
Yeah, I'm telling you.
399
00:28:19,647 --> 00:28:21,842
That is Lottie La Rue!
400
00:28:21,887 --> 00:28:28,759
She was star woman in Swedish film...
Kiss Of The Mantis, 1977.
401
00:28:29,967 --> 00:28:33,039
I've seen that film
a thousand times, yeah.
402
00:28:33,087 --> 00:28:36,921
I'm telling you for sure,
that is Lottie La Rue.
403
00:28:38,127 --> 00:28:41,164
And she has a butterfly on her bump.
404
00:28:41,207 --> 00:28:43,038
Lottie La Rue?
405
00:28:43,087 --> 00:28:44,406
Yeah.
406
00:28:44,447 --> 00:28:46,403
Oh, yeah.
407
00:28:46,447 --> 00:28:48,915
One film and then gone.
408
00:28:48,967 --> 00:28:50,878
No more Lottie La Rue.
409
00:28:50,927 --> 00:28:52,963
What, what kind of film?
410
00:28:53,607 --> 00:28:59,079
Aha, no, not pornography,
but whoo, very erotic, yeah?
411
00:29:00,527 --> 00:29:02,722
(Sighs) Lottie La Rue.
412
00:29:12,607 --> 00:29:15,280
Ah, Mr McCrae, just the man.
413
00:29:15,327 --> 00:29:17,682
Hamish, if it's about the tandem...
414
00:29:17,727 --> 00:29:21,766
No, no. It's about a film, Lachie.
I thought wi' you bein' a film buff,
415
00:29:21,807 --> 00:29:24,526
you'd be able tae tell me
how to get hold of a film.
416
00:29:24,567 --> 00:29:27,035
You can sit down
in front of my computer.
417
00:29:27,087 --> 00:29:31,524
I have the wherewithal to punch up
dialogues, story lines, scenes,
418
00:29:31,567 --> 00:29:32,886
the whole film maybe.
419
00:29:32,927 --> 00:29:34,724
Amazing.
420
00:29:35,887 --> 00:29:39,084
(♪ Theme from The Big Country)
421
00:29:44,607 --> 00:29:46,006
That's fantastic.
422
00:29:46,047 --> 00:29:47,799
D'you mind if I just have a wee go?
423
00:29:47,847 --> 00:29:51,203
Aye, help yourself.
But, why the sudden interest?
424
00:29:51,967 --> 00:29:55,482
I'm checkin' on something, Lachie.
Something unofficial.
425
00:29:55,527 --> 00:29:57,757
Oh, I'll leave you in peace, then.
426
00:29:57,807 --> 00:29:59,798
Thank you.
427
00:30:05,927 --> 00:30:07,679
(♪ Theme for The Stripper)
428
00:30:16,927 --> 00:30:18,758
Ah, Major, Major.
429
00:30:28,367 --> 00:30:29,959
(Hums Ravel's Bolero)
430
00:30:46,647 --> 00:30:48,638
I saw the butterfly, Hamish.
431
00:30:52,527 --> 00:30:54,324
I saw the butterfly.
432
00:31:00,047 --> 00:31:03,119
What did I tell you?
Now, home and into bed,
433
00:31:03,167 --> 00:31:06,284
because you've got a very early start
in the morning,
434
00:31:06,327 --> 00:31:08,397
Isn't this a bit of a leap to make?
435
00:31:09,047 --> 00:31:11,117
Call it a copper's instinct.
436
00:31:11,767 --> 00:31:13,166
Oh.
437
00:31:22,967 --> 00:31:25,356
Where's Constable Patterson?
438
00:31:25,407 --> 00:31:26,601
Gone.
439
00:31:26,647 --> 00:31:29,719
- Gone? Where?
- I'm no tellin' you.
440
00:31:29,767 --> 00:31:34,443
Let's just say her duties elsewhere
will take up a fair bit of her time here.
441
00:31:35,407 --> 00:31:36,806
Why won't you tell us?
442
00:31:36,847 --> 00:31:42,001
What, so some smart alec can contact
her and bring her back? No, thank you.
443
00:31:42,767 --> 00:31:45,998
Hello. Hamish, Hamish, wonderful news.
444
00:31:46,047 --> 00:31:49,835
The registrar called to say
she had a last-minute cancellation.
445
00:31:49,887 --> 00:31:52,162
Serena and I can get married tomorrow.
446
00:31:52,207 --> 00:31:57,440
Oh, that's good news, Major. I've seen
your intended and you're a lucky man.
447
00:31:57,487 --> 00:32:00,399
- Well, you know what this means, Major.
- What?
448
00:32:00,447 --> 00:32:02,119
It's your stag night.
449
00:32:02,167 --> 00:32:04,362
Dram be, so it is.
450
00:32:22,487 --> 00:32:26,844
♪ I would say
such wonderful things to you
451
00:32:27,527 --> 00:32:31,679
♪ We would have
such wonderful things to do
452
00:32:32,327 --> 00:32:37,082
♪ If you were the only girl in the world
453
00:32:37,127 --> 00:32:41,803
♪ And I was the only boy ♪
454
00:32:41,847 --> 00:32:43,644
(Applause)
455
00:32:50,767 --> 00:32:52,166
(Clears throat)
456
00:32:52,727 --> 00:32:55,400
Friends... Dear friends,
457
00:32:55,447 --> 00:33:01,443
a song encapsulating
the wonderful evening in Tenerife
458
00:33:01,487 --> 00:33:06,402
when my bride to be,
Serena and I, first met.
459
00:33:12,047 --> 00:33:16,723
♪ Strangers in the night
exchanging glances
460
00:33:16,767 --> 00:33:20,999
♪ Wondering in the night,
what were the chances... ♪
461
00:33:21,047 --> 00:33:23,436
(Continues, muffled)
462
00:33:30,047 --> 00:33:33,244
Edie? What's the story, lass?
463
00:33:34,287 --> 00:33:36,278
I'm being let go.
464
00:33:37,207 --> 00:33:39,562
Och, I don't blame the major.
465
00:33:40,447 --> 00:33:43,519
I doubt if he'll have a mind of his own
from here on in.
466
00:33:44,207 --> 00:33:46,198
No, this is her doing.
467
00:33:48,447 --> 00:33:50,438
Nil desperandum, Edie.
468
00:33:51,807 --> 00:33:54,844
Nil desperandum. Eh?
469
00:33:56,087 --> 00:34:01,684
♪ Strangers in the night ♪
470
00:34:01,727 --> 00:34:03,445
(Applause)
471
00:34:15,367 --> 00:34:17,927
Please repeat after me.
472
00:34:17,967 --> 00:34:21,357
I solemnly and sincerely declare
473
00:34:22,127 --> 00:34:25,119
that I, Serena St Clair,
474
00:34:25,167 --> 00:34:28,762
accept you, Roderick Peregrine Maclean,
475
00:34:29,807 --> 00:34:34,164
as my lawful husband
to the exclusion of all others.
476
00:34:35,287 --> 00:34:40,156
I solemnly and sincerely declare,
that I, Serena St Clair,
477
00:34:40,207 --> 00:34:43,916
accept you,
Roderick Peregrine Maclean
478
00:34:43,967 --> 00:34:48,324
as my lawful husband
to the exclusion of all others.
479
00:34:48,367 --> 00:34:51,165
Let me be the first to congratulate you,
Major...
480
00:34:51,207 --> 00:34:53,926
- and Mrs Maclean.
- Thank you.
481
00:34:53,967 --> 00:34:59,405
And, thank you, my darling,
for making me so very, very happy.
482
00:35:03,087 --> 00:35:07,319
Oh, a great, great day, Hamish.
I'm so glad you're here to share it.
483
00:35:07,367 --> 00:35:10,359
Pleasure's mine, Major.
Pleasure's mine.
484
00:35:12,927 --> 00:35:14,519
Mrs Maclean.
485
00:35:14,567 --> 00:35:18,116
Aha, aha, I think I'll be taking
my wife home now, Hamish.
486
00:35:18,167 --> 00:35:19,566
And where will you go?
487
00:35:19,607 --> 00:35:21,404
Hair of the dog, I think.
488
00:35:21,447 --> 00:35:25,520
Excuse me, Major, if you could just
bear with me a while longer,
489
00:35:25,567 --> 00:35:28,035
there are some forms to be filled in.
490
00:35:37,367 --> 00:35:39,198
(Phone)
491
00:35:53,647 --> 00:35:56,400
Where have you been?
We're all waiting for the news.
492
00:35:56,447 --> 00:35:59,086
What news?
They're married, on their way home.
493
00:35:59,127 --> 00:36:01,960
What news?
What do you mean, what news?
494
00:36:02,007 --> 00:36:04,123
What was she wearing, Hamish?
495
00:36:04,887 --> 00:36:06,798
A frock - what d'you think?
496
00:36:06,847 --> 00:36:09,600
What kind of frock, for goodness' sake?
497
00:36:09,647 --> 00:36:13,606
Was it white, cream, long,
black, short - what?
498
00:36:14,487 --> 00:36:16,478
You know, I never noticed.
499
00:36:16,527 --> 00:36:18,245
Typical bloody man.
500
00:36:19,047 --> 00:36:21,436
I was overcome wi' the emotion of it all.
501
00:36:25,407 --> 00:36:26,965
(♪ Ravel: Bolero)
502
00:36:34,687 --> 00:36:36,359
I can't stand it any longer.
503
00:36:36,407 --> 00:36:41,037
Macbeth, you'll have to tell us
what you've done wi' that wee lassie.
504
00:36:41,087 --> 00:36:42,725
Nope.
505
00:36:42,767 --> 00:36:44,803
Damn you, man.
506
00:36:44,847 --> 00:36:47,315
We'll all promise not to interfere.
507
00:36:47,927 --> 00:36:49,440
(Sighs) You promise?
508
00:36:49,487 --> 00:36:51,079
(AIl) Aye, we promise.
509
00:36:58,367 --> 00:36:59,561
OK.
510
00:36:59,607 --> 00:37:02,644
You know that language college
in Inverness?
511
00:37:02,687 --> 00:37:04,757
- I know it.
- Well, she's there.
512
00:37:04,807 --> 00:37:07,844
Working night and day
and too late at night to drive back
513
00:37:07,887 --> 00:37:09,957
so I got her digs - out o' ma own pocket.
514
00:37:10,007 --> 00:37:11,679
What's she workin' at, Hamish?
515
00:37:11,727 --> 00:37:14,719
She's lookin' at photographs
in foreign newspapers.
516
00:37:14,767 --> 00:37:16,917
Lookin' for a needle in a haystack.
517
00:37:16,967 --> 00:37:19,959
Worse,
a needle that isn't even in the haystack.
518
00:37:20,007 --> 00:37:22,726
Hamish, could you be a bit less opaque?
519
00:37:23,807 --> 00:37:25,798
(♪ Ravel's Bolero)
520
00:37:30,927 --> 00:37:34,442
I discovered that the major's wife
had made a film, right?
521
00:37:34,487 --> 00:37:38,082
A low budget Swedish thing
about a woman who travels Europe
522
00:37:38,127 --> 00:37:42,166
and then marries moderately wealthy
men and starts bumping them off.
523
00:37:45,047 --> 00:37:47,641
So, I asked Constable Patterson,
524
00:37:47,687 --> 00:37:51,885
how does a woman like Serena
afford her kind of lifestyle,
525
00:37:51,927 --> 00:37:54,999
when, as far as we know,
she hasn't worked for 20 years?
526
00:37:55,047 --> 00:37:57,163
"What if..." I wondered out loud,
527
00:37:57,207 --> 00:38:00,722
"...Serena had started
to act out her part in real life?"
528
00:38:00,767 --> 00:38:03,327
Marry men
and bump them off for their money?
529
00:38:03,367 --> 00:38:04,641
Right.
530
00:38:04,687 --> 00:38:09,158
So, she's scanning papers
for evidence of Serena's past crimes?
531
00:38:09,207 --> 00:38:10,799
Right again.
532
00:38:11,687 --> 00:38:15,202
She must be easily swayed
if she bought that, Hamish.
533
00:38:15,247 --> 00:38:20,002
Well, she had her doubts but I gave her
the "good copper's instinct" line.
534
00:38:29,087 --> 00:38:30,281
(Both) Mm.
535
00:38:30,327 --> 00:38:34,240
Oh, you take these through to the lounge
and I'll bring in the caviar.
536
00:38:34,287 --> 00:38:35,959
All right.
537
00:38:36,007 --> 00:38:40,125
But don't keep me waiting long,
Mrs Maclean.
538
00:38:43,727 --> 00:38:47,117
So how did this woman
get rid of her men, Hamish?
539
00:38:47,167 --> 00:38:50,921
Electrocution, car crash,
domestic acci...
540
00:38:50,967 --> 00:38:53,197
The last one, it was particularly nasty.
541
00:38:53,247 --> 00:38:55,078
She poisons the guy, right?
542
00:38:56,047 --> 00:38:58,436
Poisons the guy on their wedding day.
543
00:38:58,487 --> 00:38:59,966
Nasty.
544
00:39:01,007 --> 00:39:02,156
I don't buy it.
545
00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:05,643
The poison would show up
in the postmortem, wouldn't it, Doc?
546
00:39:05,687 --> 00:39:06,676
Very probably.
547
00:39:06,727 --> 00:39:10,276
She poisons the guy then
dumps his body in a lake for a year.
548
00:39:11,367 --> 00:39:12,686
Mm, it might work.
549
00:39:12,727 --> 00:39:15,002
There wouldn't be a lot left
to do a PM on.
550
00:39:15,047 --> 00:39:19,723
Surely people'd be suspicious -
a man disappearing on his wedding day?
551
00:39:19,767 --> 00:39:22,520
Prior to the wedding,
she slips the guy a Mickey,
552
00:39:22,567 --> 00:39:24,558
he collapses, the doctor comes
553
00:39:24,607 --> 00:39:28,646
and establishes the fact that
the guy is prone to blackouts. Clever.
554
00:39:28,687 --> 00:39:30,723
The, erm... major had a blackout.
555
00:39:32,647 --> 00:39:34,524
In Tenerife.
556
00:39:34,567 --> 00:39:36,558
He asked me to see him about it.
557
00:39:39,967 --> 00:39:43,323
Come on, I just made the whole thing up
to get rid o' Anne.
558
00:39:43,727 --> 00:39:45,558
Who's on the bell here?
559
00:39:46,207 --> 00:39:48,004
Me, Daddy.
560
00:40:11,087 --> 00:40:14,363
Darling? Darling,
could you come in a minute?
561
00:40:19,727 --> 00:40:23,197
Ah, darling.
Edith's come to collect some things
562
00:40:23,247 --> 00:40:26,796
and I thought you might like to say
what we had agreed.
563
00:40:26,847 --> 00:40:28,360
Of course.
564
00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:32,639
I hope there are no hard feelings
and that we can remain friends.
565
00:40:34,927 --> 00:40:39,398
Goodbye, Major. I'll just get my things
from the kitchen and be on my way.
566
00:40:44,967 --> 00:40:47,481
Well... I did try.
567
00:40:47,527 --> 00:40:52,806
Oh, of course you did, darling.
Of course you did.
568
00:40:56,607 --> 00:41:00,725
What if the doctor carried out tests
after the first blackout?
569
00:41:00,767 --> 00:41:02,962
The drug would show up, wouldn't it?
570
00:41:03,007 --> 00:41:06,522
Depends how long it was
before the man went to see his doctor.
571
00:41:06,567 --> 00:41:09,957
In the film, the woman only pretends
to phone the doctor.
572
00:41:10,007 --> 00:41:13,477
The guy recovers, feels OK,
wants to forget all about it.
573
00:41:13,527 --> 00:41:18,237
Hamish, according to the major, Serena
tried to telephone the doctor in Tenerife
574
00:41:18,287 --> 00:41:20,084
but the man never showed up.
575
00:41:20,127 --> 00:41:21,924
What?
576
00:41:24,447 --> 00:41:27,917
This is ridiculous.
You've got me as paranoid as yourself.
577
00:41:27,967 --> 00:41:29,446
Hamish!
578
00:41:30,487 --> 00:41:31,886
Anne.
579
00:41:34,687 --> 00:41:37,201
Hamish, I... I think you were right.
580
00:41:37,247 --> 00:41:39,317
- Yeah?
- Look.
581
00:41:39,927 --> 00:41:41,519
That is her, isn't it?
582
00:41:42,527 --> 00:41:44,165
I dunno. It could be.
583
00:41:44,207 --> 00:41:46,596
I got it from Le Monde, 1989.
584
00:41:46,647 --> 00:41:51,675
Different name but the woman's husband
was electrocuted accidentally.
585
00:42:08,727 --> 00:42:11,958
Come on, I am dying of thirst.
586
00:42:18,247 --> 00:42:20,283
I've got to be wrong, surely?
587
00:42:22,727 --> 00:42:24,718
We'll soon know.
588
00:42:26,327 --> 00:42:28,397
Cheers, my love.
589
00:42:28,447 --> 00:42:30,517
Cheers, my darling.
590
00:42:32,727 --> 00:42:34,046
Mm.
591
00:42:34,087 --> 00:42:35,645
Oh, wedding cake.
592
00:42:35,687 --> 00:42:37,678
Get it later.
593
00:42:37,727 --> 00:42:39,524
I want it now.
594
00:43:10,127 --> 00:43:13,642
Any minute now, Mr Maclean.
595
00:43:15,287 --> 00:43:17,005
Any minute now.
596
00:43:24,927 --> 00:43:27,487
Serena, we have visitors.
597
00:43:27,527 --> 00:43:32,362
(Hamish) No! Major! Major! Major!
598
00:43:32,407 --> 00:43:35,524
- What's going on?
- We think it's poisoned, Major.
599
00:43:35,567 --> 00:43:38,718
- Where's your wife?
- She's... in the kitchen.
600
00:43:40,247 --> 00:43:41,362
Come on, Lachlan.
601
00:43:43,727 --> 00:43:45,126
Hamish?!
602
00:44:20,047 --> 00:44:21,480
She's dead, Hamish.
603
00:44:21,847 --> 00:44:23,280
What?
604
00:44:24,727 --> 00:44:27,400
- Serena?!
- Steady, Major, steady.
605
00:44:27,447 --> 00:44:31,122
Somebody tell me what is going on here.
606
00:44:31,167 --> 00:44:34,204
We think she was trying
to poison you, Major,
607
00:44:34,247 --> 00:44:36,283
and that she's murdered others.
608
00:44:36,327 --> 00:44:39,524
Let me through.
Let me through here. Let me...
609
00:44:41,607 --> 00:44:43,484
Oh, my God!
610
00:44:44,767 --> 00:44:46,166
What have I done?
611
00:44:46,607 --> 00:44:48,484
What have you done?
612
00:44:49,287 --> 00:44:51,596
I only wanted to give her a rash.
613
00:44:51,647 --> 00:44:53,717
Just a rash for her allergy.
614
00:44:53,767 --> 00:44:57,237
Wait a minute, just take it easy,
tell us what happened.
615
00:44:58,087 --> 00:45:00,601
It was to be my parting shot, Hamish.
616
00:45:00,647 --> 00:45:05,163
I'd steamed some labels
off empty champagne bottles.
617
00:45:05,207 --> 00:45:06,799
I didn't think I'd get a chance
618
00:45:06,847 --> 00:45:10,556
but when I came in here
and saw the bottles in the ice bucket,
619
00:45:11,527 --> 00:45:13,802
I stuck the old labels on them.
620
00:45:14,967 --> 00:45:20,519
I stuck the Veuve label on the Bolly
and the Bolly label on the Veuve.
621
00:45:20,567 --> 00:45:24,162
So the major drank the Bolly
thinking it was the Veuve.
622
00:45:24,207 --> 00:45:27,597
And she drank the Veuve
thinking it was the Bolly.
623
00:45:27,647 --> 00:45:30,081
She drank her own poison, Major.
624
00:45:32,007 --> 00:45:33,520
You're a very lucky man.
625
00:45:34,607 --> 00:45:36,518
What kind of person would?
626
00:45:36,567 --> 00:45:42,199
Oh, Major, now, just you come with me.
Come away, Major. This way.
627
00:45:48,767 --> 00:45:49,836
Stay with her body.
628
00:45:50,807 --> 00:45:52,604
Sure, Hamish.
629
00:46:00,207 --> 00:46:02,038
(Sighs) Poor man.
630
00:46:02,647 --> 00:46:04,478
He'll get over it.
631
00:46:05,887 --> 00:46:08,640
Of course,
there is an upside to all of this.
632
00:46:08,687 --> 00:46:11,042
What's that?
633
00:46:11,087 --> 00:46:16,639
Well, she was the major's legal wife,
so everything she's got is his.
634
00:46:17,407 --> 00:46:19,557
You mean like yon villa in Tenerife?
635
00:46:32,727 --> 00:46:35,605
We better start
looking out the sun block then.
636
00:46:57,007 --> 00:46:58,326
(Sighs)
637
00:46:58,367 --> 00:47:00,244
Just came to say goodbye.
638
00:47:02,127 --> 00:47:03,526
OK.
639
00:47:06,967 --> 00:47:08,366
Can I ask you something?
640
00:47:08,407 --> 00:47:11,399
- Mm-hm.
- Why did you let me take credit for this?
641
00:47:14,567 --> 00:47:16,364
Well...
642
00:47:18,327 --> 00:47:20,318
I told you.
643
00:47:21,247 --> 00:47:23,363
You give me a glowing report
644
00:47:23,407 --> 00:47:27,639
and I'll make you
the most famous rookie of all time.
645
00:47:27,687 --> 00:47:29,643
Yeah.
646
00:47:29,687 --> 00:47:32,485
Oh, look, please, it's... not that.
647
00:47:33,967 --> 00:47:35,366
Is it?
648
00:47:41,167 --> 00:47:42,964
No.
649
00:47:46,887 --> 00:47:48,639
You see, I want to be here, Anne,
650
00:47:50,087 --> 00:47:52,601
and to do that,
I have to keep a low profile.
651
00:47:53,247 --> 00:47:55,442
Oh... I see.
652
00:47:57,287 --> 00:47:59,437
Well, thanks for telling me.
653
00:48:05,207 --> 00:48:07,118
You know...
654
00:48:08,167 --> 00:48:09,805
I think I like the real you
655
00:48:09,847 --> 00:48:12,680
even better than the person
you pretended to be.
656
00:48:16,367 --> 00:48:18,085
Goodbye.
657
00:48:20,127 --> 00:48:21,924
Yeah.
658
00:48:21,974 --> 00:48:26,524
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