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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:33,400 (engine revving) 2 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:57,800 (phone ringing) 3 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:02,233 (moans) 4 00:01:02,233 --> 00:01:05,067 - Blast, who the hell can that be? 5 00:01:07,233 --> 00:01:08,067 Hang on. 6 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:17,467 God, where is the bloody--(moans) 7 00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:32,567 Hello! 8 00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:33,400 - Oh! 9 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:38,333 You don't have to shout at me, I'm not deaf. 10 00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:42,933 Is my daughter there, may I have a word with her, please? 11 00:01:42,933 --> 00:01:44,833 What's the matter, are you there, Bob? 12 00:01:44,833 --> 00:01:46,967 Bob, what's the matter with you? 13 00:01:46,967 --> 00:01:48,900 Aren't you up yet? 14 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,733 You shouldn't be in bed doing nothing, you should be 15 00:01:50,733 --> 00:01:53,733 doing something productive. (Bob giggles) 16 00:01:53,733 --> 00:01:57,100 You're breathing very heavily, have you got a cold? 17 00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,400 Hope you're not giving it to Margaretta. 18 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,667 May I speak to her, please? 19 00:02:05,533 --> 00:02:08,367 - Bloody marvelous, we've only been married 24 hours 20 00:02:08,367 --> 00:02:11,567 and already she wants an on-the-spot report of our sex life. 21 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:12,967 Charming. 22 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,233 Here, she wants you anyway. 23 00:02:26,267 --> 00:02:27,500 - Hello, Mummy. 24 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:31,067 - Hello, darling, is everything all right? 25 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,867 Bob sounded so strange. 26 00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:35,233 You know what it is, he smokes too much. 27 00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:37,200 You must try to get him to give it up. 28 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,533 And tell him to take more exercise, he sounded terrible. 29 00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:43,800 - Oh, don't be silly, Mummy, Bob's as strong as a bull 30 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,233 and he's getting plenty of exercise. 31 00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:48,533 - Good, I'm very glad to hear it, keep him at it, 32 00:02:48,533 --> 00:02:49,833 and don't let him slack. 33 00:02:49,833 --> 00:02:53,100 - Oh, he won't, not for awhile, anyway. 34 00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:55,767 What did you want, Mummy? 35 00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:57,067 - Well, are you coming? 36 00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:58,367 - Pardon? 37 00:02:58,367 --> 00:02:59,567 - Are you coming shopping, 38 00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,067 I want to buy you that wedding present. 39 00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:05,500 - Oh, well I, I don't (gasping), 40 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:07,567 because I can't, um, mum. 41 00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:11,067 - Margaretta, for goodness sake, 42 00:03:11,067 --> 00:03:13,500 it sounds as though you've got it, too. 43 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:14,700 What do you mean you can't? 44 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,367 Are you telling me that he won't let you? 45 00:03:16,367 --> 00:03:17,867 Are you under him already? 46 00:03:17,867 --> 00:03:21,633 - Mmm, I mean, no, no, but, no, Mummy, 47 00:03:21,633 --> 00:03:23,633 yes, Mummy, I'm, please. 48 00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:28,800 - Oh, good, cause I've got some wonderful news for you. 49 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:32,300 And Bob, which I'll tell you when you come around. 50 00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:34,333 - Oh no, come on, Mummy, tell me, what is it? 51 00:03:34,333 --> 00:03:35,867 - Tell her you'll call her back. 52 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:39,267 - Well, you remember Aunt Emily who died last month? 53 00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:40,500 - Of course, I do. 54 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:43,067 - She's left you her cottage. 55 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,067 - Oh, that's wonderful. 56 00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:46,667 - Just think, you'll be able to live rent-free, 57 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:48,167 no mortgage or anything. 58 00:03:48,167 --> 00:03:50,067 - Oh, it's too much. 59 00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:52,067 - Well, I hope you realize how lucky you are 60 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:54,333 to be getting all that for nothing. 61 00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,133 No wonder you're sounding so excited. 62 00:03:57,133 --> 00:04:00,300 Still, so should I if I were getting it, too. 63 00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:02,067 - Oh, you'd love to be having it (gasps). 64 00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,733 - Well, I'll tell you what. 65 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:06,567 - I'd better be going because I'm coming, I'm com, 66 00:04:06,567 --> 00:04:08,700 no, I'm sorry, I'll see you at the shop. 67 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,567 Oh, thank you, Mother. 68 00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:12,067 - Mother? 69 00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:15,167 (folksy guitar music) 70 00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:36,533 (cows mooing) 71 00:04:52,267 --> 00:04:54,067 - Hi, have any luck? 72 00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:57,500 - Oh, well there's no bloody industry at all around here. 73 00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,300 All the decent jobs are miles away, 74 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:01,567 but got no car for that. 75 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:04,167 - Well, I've been thinking, I mean, 76 00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:05,600 look at what you've done to this cottage, 77 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,733 you're so clever at doing that kind of thing. 78 00:05:07,733 --> 00:05:09,533 Why don't you go down to the village and offer some of those 79 00:05:09,533 --> 00:05:11,233 rich people your services? 80 00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:12,833 I'm sure they'll want some odd jobs doing. 81 00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:14,667 - Well how do you propose I go about that? 82 00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:15,900 Go around knocking on people's doors 83 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:17,300 with a hammer and a bag of nails? 84 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,533 - (laughs) Advertise. 85 00:05:19,533 --> 00:05:20,833 - Advertise as what? 86 00:05:20,833 --> 00:05:22,767 - As a handyman, silly. 87 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:28,400 - Oh, yeah, I suppose I could, couldn't I? 88 00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:38,333 * Take me on for awhile 89 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:40,833 * I'll soon be makin' you smile 90 00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:43,267 * What's with all of you people 91 00:05:43,267 --> 00:05:45,700 * Won't you give it a try 92 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:48,067 * I'm sayin' that I've been around 93 00:05:48,067 --> 00:05:50,533 * People keep puttin' me down 94 00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:52,967 * But I've got nothing to lose, now 95 00:05:52,967 --> 00:05:55,533 * I'm still workin' the town 96 00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:57,867 * The ups and downs of a handyman 97 00:05:57,867 --> 00:05:59,967 * Livin' my life the best I can 98 00:05:59,967 --> 00:06:02,667 * Up and down all over town 99 00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:06,833 * I can make you smile I can make you frown 100 00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:12,767 * Oh, don't you know 101 00:06:14,433 --> 00:06:18,767 * There's just one way to go 102 00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:21,867 * Oh, don't you know 103 00:06:22,767 --> 00:06:26,267 * You know you want to go 104 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:31,067 * Wouldn't you like to be me 105 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,533 * Look me over and see 106 00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:35,967 * Look at all of your faces 107 00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:38,367 * Cryin' with jealousy 108 00:06:38,367 --> 00:06:40,800 * I can make you feel good 109 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,167 * Or I can make you feel bad 110 00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:45,600 * But there ain't no good in tryin' 111 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,067 * Giving back what I've had 112 00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,333 * The ups and downs of a handyman 113 00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,933 * Livin' my life the best I can 114 00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:55,200 * Up and down all over town 115 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:59,333 * I can make you smile I can make you frown 116 00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:05,067 * Oh, don't you know 117 00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:10,633 * There's just one way to go 118 00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:15,133 * Oh, don't you know 119 00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:18,633 * You know you want to go 120 00:07:21,067 --> 00:07:23,367 * Wouldn't you like to be me 121 00:07:23,367 --> 00:07:25,833 * Look me over and see 122 00:07:25,833 --> 00:07:28,300 * Look at all of your faces 123 00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:30,633 * Cryin' with jealousy 124 00:07:30,633 --> 00:07:33,067 * I can make you feel good 125 00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:35,433 * I can make you feel bad 126 00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:37,867 * But there ain't no good in tryin' 127 00:07:37,867 --> 00:07:40,367 * Giving back what I've had 128 00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:42,733 * The ups and downs of a handyman 129 00:07:42,733 --> 00:07:45,333 * Livin' my life the best I can 130 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,533 * Up and down all over town 131 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:51,700 * I can make you smile I can make you frown 132 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,700 * The ups and downs of a handyman 133 00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,133 * Livin' my life the best I can 134 00:07:59,133 --> 00:08:01,300 * Up and down all over town 135 00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:05,467 * I can make you smile I can make you frown * 136 00:08:16,333 --> 00:08:18,767 (bells ring) 137 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:24,333 - Oh, good morning, love. 138 00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:25,800 - Morning. 139 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:26,733 - Can you stick these in the windows for us, please? 140 00:08:26,733 --> 00:08:29,300 - Yes, sir. - [Bob] Cheers. 141 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:32,133 - Oh, how interesting, a handyman. 142 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:35,700 Are you any good? 143 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:38,067 - Well, my wife thinks so, yeah. 144 00:08:38,067 --> 00:08:41,567 - I'll bet she does, 10 pence please, sir. 145 00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:42,567 - Oh, right. 146 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,467 Oh, hate these pockets. 147 00:08:47,767 --> 00:08:49,667 All right, there we go. - [Clerk] Thank you. 148 00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,067 - [Bob] Well, hope that does the trick and I get 149 00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:52,300 some interesting jobs, eh? 150 00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:54,067 - Yes, I hope so, too. 151 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,333 - See ya. 152 00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,700 - See ya, don't work too hard, yet, anyway. 153 00:08:57,700 --> 00:08:59,433 (gasp) - Sorry, love. 154 00:08:59,433 --> 00:09:02,100 - Don't worry, quite enjoyed it. 155 00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:08,133 (light romantic music) 156 00:09:11,367 --> 00:09:12,600 - Good morning, madam. 157 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,200 - Good morning, um I wonder if I could 158 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:15,833 place this card in your window. 159 00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:17,833 - Why, certainly, madam. 160 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:23,533 Thank you, oh, I see you're a teacher, then. 161 00:09:23,533 --> 00:09:26,133 A very attractive one, too, if I may say so. 162 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,067 - Ooh (laughing), you may, thank you. 163 00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:32,567 - Oxford, Harrow, lot of experience, then. 164 00:09:33,933 --> 00:09:35,200 Are you a blue? 165 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,900 - Well, I could be, if required I suppose, yeah. 166 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:44,067 - (laughs) Yes, yes, well, that'll be 10 pence, please. 167 00:09:45,267 --> 00:09:48,900 - Oh, good, well, I hope it's worth the expense. 168 00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,133 I like my pupils well advanced. 169 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,133 - Of course. 170 00:09:54,067 --> 00:09:56,233 Yes, I'll, excuse me, 171 00:09:56,233 --> 00:09:59,633 I'll just put this in the window for you. 172 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,100 - Goodbye. - [Clerk] Goodbye, miss. 173 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:06,533 - [Lady] Goodbye, again. - Goodbye, miss. 174 00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:30,000 - I've run out of cigarettes. 175 00:10:39,467 --> 00:10:41,900 (bell rings) 176 00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,933 (chatter and laughter) 177 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,233 (bell rings) 178 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,433 (bell rings) 179 00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:24,500 - Your cigar, thank you, sir. 180 00:11:26,233 --> 00:11:28,667 (bell rings) 181 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:44,600 (buffoonish music) 182 00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:07,500 (clown horn honks) 183 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,633 - Oh, that smells good. 184 00:12:17,633 --> 00:12:19,867 - Mmm, well, I've got to build you up. 185 00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,433 - I can't think why. 186 00:12:21,433 --> 00:12:25,100 - Oh, don't be silly, darling, something will turn up. 187 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:28,467 - I'm sorry, love, just I'm feeling a bit fed up. 188 00:12:28,467 --> 00:12:29,700 I mean, we've been here a month now 189 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:31,567 and nothing seems to be going right, nothing. 190 00:12:31,567 --> 00:12:34,400 - Oh, I know, darling, but look it's not every couple 191 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,567 that's got a lovely cottage left them by an aunt. 192 00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:39,200 You'll see, soemthing'll turn up. 193 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,067 Perhaps your card'll do some good. 194 00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:42,333 - Yeah, perhaps. 195 00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:54,733 * Another day is just beginning 196 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:58,167 * And you're on the move again 197 00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:01,667 * Don't you think you should be happy 198 00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:05,067 * If you're sure about your friends 199 00:13:05,067 --> 00:13:07,067 * Oh, oh 200 00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:10,200 * You know you want to go 201 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:13,800 * And put yourself on show 202 00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:17,367 * Oh, oh 203 00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:20,700 * But don't you be a fool 204 00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:24,133 * You gotta play it cool 205 00:13:25,900 --> 00:13:30,067 * Don't you know they might just let you down 206 00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:36,367 * Now I guess you're feeling sorry 207 00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:39,800 * 'Bout the things you just can't mend 208 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,200 * I know it's hard but don't you worry 209 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,367 * You're gonna make it in the end 210 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,567 * Oh, oh 211 00:13:48,567 --> 00:13:51,833 * Get out and start again 212 00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:55,833 * Get out and meet your friends 213 00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:58,900 * Oh, oh 214 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:02,233 * Then you're gonna see 215 00:14:02,233 --> 00:14:05,733 * How things are gonna be 216 00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:11,700 * Don't you waste your time now bein' slow 217 00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,767 * Another day is here again 218 00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:21,333 * You're on your way to make amends 219 00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,833 * Don't hang around or it's the end 220 00:14:23,833 --> 00:14:26,433 * Of love and happiness 221 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:30,433 * And things 222 00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:49,533 - Oh, good morning, Mrs. Wayne? 223 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:52,100 - Course not, silly, come in. 224 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,200 - Oh, thanks. 225 00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:04,167 - Sit down. 226 00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:05,600 - Oh, thanks. 227 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,200 - Um, Mrs. Wayne is in the bath. 228 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,933 That's why we sent for you. 229 00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:10,467 Drink? 230 00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:11,467 - Yeah. 231 00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:12,400 - Scotch? 232 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,333 - Very nice, thank you. 233 00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:19,100 - Well, you see, every time she empties the bath, 234 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:21,067 water somehow gurgles, splatters, 235 00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:24,467 and comes back through the overflow. 236 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:28,533 We can go and have a look at it when she's ready. 237 00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:33,767 Here's your drink. 238 00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,067 - Thanks a lot. 239 00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:40,400 You're the girl from the news agent's aren't you? 240 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,333 - Mmm, Daddy owns the shop. 241 00:15:42,333 --> 00:15:43,767 - Oh, I see. 242 00:15:43,767 --> 00:15:46,233 - Do you know he does amateur photography as well. 243 00:15:46,233 --> 00:15:48,300 - Mmm. - [Clerk] I pose for him. 244 00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,833 - Do you? 245 00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:53,300 - Well, not nude, I mean I couldn't do that, could I? 246 00:15:54,433 --> 00:15:55,300 - What? 247 00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:56,700 - Pose nude. 248 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,333 - Oh, no, no, I suppose not. 249 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,933 - Well, not with Daddy, anyway. 250 00:16:02,867 --> 00:16:05,967 I hope you're going to be good. 251 00:16:05,967 --> 00:16:07,167 - Sorry? 252 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,367 - Well, I recommended you to Mrs. Wayne 253 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,167 who's in the bath upstairs. 254 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:12,267 - Oh, that's very kind of you. 255 00:16:12,267 --> 00:16:15,833 But um, how do you know I'll be any good? 256 00:16:15,833 --> 00:16:17,767 - Instinct, experience. 257 00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,933 - You've had a lot of handymen then have you? 258 00:16:20,933 --> 00:16:22,233 - I beg your pardon? 259 00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:24,633 - I mean, you have a lot of handymen advertising 260 00:16:24,633 --> 00:16:26,067 in your shop window? 261 00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:28,300 - No, you're the first. 262 00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,067 Well she must be ready now. 263 00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,600 Have you got your drink with you? 264 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,200 - No, love, I left it down there. 265 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,200 - Well, don't worry, I'll get you a stronger one later. 266 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,200 Got the right tool with you? 267 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,733 - Yeah, everything here. 268 00:16:38,733 --> 00:16:41,367 - Now, when we get to the bathroom, you pull it out? 269 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:42,567 - What? - [Clerk] The plug, 270 00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,900 then let's see what happens. 271 00:16:50,333 --> 00:16:51,900 - Oh, good morning! 272 00:16:54,733 --> 00:16:56,467 Mrs. Wayne, I presume? 273 00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:59,233 (swinging music) 274 00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:05,267 (buffoonish music) 275 00:18:41,067 --> 00:18:41,900 Ah, Jesus. 276 00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:55,067 - Having trouble, sir? 277 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,067 - It's these bikes, you see, officer. 278 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,133 Well they're really difficult to steer 279 00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:02,067 until you've got up to speed 280 00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:04,067 and my pedal power seems to have left me. 281 00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:05,333 - Well you shouldn't have been in charge of the vehicle then 282 00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:06,767 in your state. 283 00:19:06,767 --> 00:19:08,667 - No, no, I'm all right, officer, really. 284 00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:11,800 It's just I've had a bath, I mean repaired a bath 285 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,300 plug, tap! 286 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,100 I mean, what happened you see, in there, 287 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:18,233 when you empty the bath, the sink fills, 288 00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:19,400 when you empty the sink, 289 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,367 it doesn't. - Oh, it doesn't? 290 00:19:21,367 --> 00:19:24,167 Obviously a case of a complete breakdown. 291 00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,067 - Well that's what I thought, see, well, 292 00:19:26,067 --> 00:19:29,233 when I went my plunger in, it didn't happen, 293 00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,367 because they grabbed me plunger, 294 00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:33,567 and well, sort of-- 295 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:37,167 - I was referring to you sir, not the bath. 296 00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,233 - Uh, I've had it, officer. 297 00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:42,067 - It looks as though you have. 298 00:19:42,067 --> 00:19:44,433 I suggest you go home and do a complete 299 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,267 plumbing job on yourself. 300 00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:49,800 - [Bob] What? - Dry yourself out, sir. 301 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,067 So that's our new handyman (chortles) 302 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,233 Heaven help us. 303 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,000 - Maggie! 304 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,633 Maggie? 305 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,133 Now, where the hell are you? 306 00:20:10,133 --> 00:20:10,967 - [Maggie] I'm upstairs. 307 00:20:10,967 --> 00:20:11,800 - Where? 308 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,967 - [Maggie] In the bath. 309 00:20:12,967 --> 00:20:13,800 - Oh, God. 310 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,867 - What on Earth happened to you? 311 00:20:27,867 --> 00:20:30,200 - Yeah, well, the less said about that the better, eh? 312 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,467 - Well, what happened to your clothes, they're soaking wet. 313 00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:35,867 - Come on, take them off and jump in the bath with me. 314 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:38,300 - No, no, I can't, I must get down to Elgin farm. 315 00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:40,967 - Oh, come on, it's very sexy, what can be better 316 00:20:40,967 --> 00:20:43,633 than two people naked in a bath together? 317 00:20:43,633 --> 00:20:45,367 - Three? - [Maggie] What? 318 00:20:45,367 --> 00:20:47,900 - Three jobs to do today and I'm getting nowhere. 319 00:20:47,900 --> 00:20:51,100 - Oh, come on, I really feel in the mood, please? 320 00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,600 - No, I can't, I really can't. 321 00:20:55,700 --> 00:21:00,133 - Fred, it's half-day closing, I'm trying to get away, 322 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,767 why do you always come in here when I'm closed? 323 00:21:02,767 --> 00:21:05,233 - Well, I can't be seen looking at these, 324 00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:06,733 these books for obscenity 325 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,833 with the public present, now can I? 326 00:21:08,833 --> 00:21:11,900 - Now, that's what you always say, now come on Fred, 327 00:21:11,900 --> 00:21:13,800 you won't find any obscenity here. 328 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:14,933 - [Fred] Mmm, pity. - [Arthur] Hmm? 329 00:21:14,933 --> 00:21:16,900 - I'm just doing my duty, Arthur, 330 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:20,233 protecting the citizens from moral decline. 331 00:21:20,233 --> 00:21:22,133 Look at that brazen hussy. 332 00:21:22,133 --> 00:21:25,267 Oh, that's a flasher if I ever saw one. 333 00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:26,267 Disgraceful. 334 00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:30,100 Thank goodness we haven't anybody like her in the village. 335 00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:31,567 - Yes, yes, all right Fred, that's fine, 336 00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:34,167 now come on, come on, out, out, out. 337 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:37,633 Fred, the book please unless you're keeping it for evidence. 338 00:21:37,633 --> 00:21:40,500 - Oh, I don't want this filth. 339 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,733 - How would you like me? 340 00:21:42,733 --> 00:21:46,633 - (laughs) Well, I thought I'd like to take 341 00:21:46,633 --> 00:21:48,633 a nice art study. 342 00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:50,700 - Oh, all right. 343 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,100 - I'll get ready. 344 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:08,867 (manic comical music) 345 00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:19,200 There you are, Arthur, now you fix the lights. 346 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:23,067 - The lights, yes, fix the lights, uh, oh yes. 347 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:27,667 Ohh! 348 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,600 (manic comical music) 349 00:23:01,833 --> 00:23:02,733 - Now what? 350 00:23:10,367 --> 00:23:11,267 How's that? 351 00:23:14,167 --> 00:23:16,267 - Perhaps another button? 352 00:23:17,467 --> 00:23:20,200 - Oh, Arthur, you are a naughty man. 353 00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,933 (both laugh) 354 00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:30,800 - And, uh, perhaps a little leg? 355 00:23:38,067 --> 00:23:39,100 - How's that? 356 00:23:50,733 --> 00:23:54,067 - Well, now, I wonder, do you think we, 357 00:23:57,167 --> 00:23:59,600 could we be a little more daring? 358 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,100 - How do you mean? 359 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,267 - Could you take your skirt off? 360 00:24:06,267 --> 00:24:10,367 - All right, but you turn your back first. 361 00:24:10,367 --> 00:24:11,367 - All right. 362 00:24:24,267 --> 00:24:26,433 - You may turn around now. 363 00:24:34,333 --> 00:24:35,833 Is this all right? 364 00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:39,167 - It's wonderful. 365 00:24:40,333 --> 00:24:43,300 - Well, when are you going to take a photo? 366 00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:45,333 - I've got to get everything right. 367 00:24:45,333 --> 00:24:48,067 There's an art in taking a good photograph. 368 00:24:48,067 --> 00:24:49,067 Oh, oh. 369 00:24:49,067 --> 00:24:51,967 - Well, I'm sure you know best. 370 00:24:51,967 --> 00:24:53,900 - That's right my dear. 371 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:00,267 - Are you ready now? 372 00:25:02,233 --> 00:25:03,833 Well, what do you think? 373 00:25:03,833 --> 00:25:05,433 - Uh, I'm not sure. 374 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,667 - Well, suppose I took my blouse off. 375 00:25:11,267 --> 00:25:14,267 - Yes, yes, I think that would work. 376 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,567 - Think you're ready now? 377 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:25,667 - I'll have a look. 378 00:25:27,933 --> 00:25:29,200 - Well, Arthur? 379 00:25:31,733 --> 00:25:33,167 - I'm still not happy. 380 00:25:33,167 --> 00:25:36,133 - Well, what do you think I should do? 381 00:25:36,133 --> 00:25:37,800 - What do you think? 382 00:25:38,933 --> 00:25:42,400 - Well, perhaps I should take everything off. 383 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,367 - That would help, yes, yes, that would be it. 384 00:25:46,367 --> 00:25:47,333 - All right. 385 00:25:47,333 --> 00:25:50,500 (manic comical music) 386 00:25:58,167 --> 00:26:00,067 - That's it, that's it. 387 00:26:02,067 --> 00:26:04,300 I'm ready, I'm ready! 388 00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:05,800 - Hang on, Arthur. 389 00:26:10,667 --> 00:26:13,067 You need this to flash with. 390 00:26:31,933 --> 00:26:34,700 (flash blows up) 391 00:26:40,367 --> 00:26:42,867 (cows mooing) 392 00:26:55,067 --> 00:26:56,333 - Hello. 393 00:26:56,333 --> 00:26:58,833 Are you looking for something? 394 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,133 - Uh, yeah, Elgin farm, love? 395 00:27:03,133 --> 00:27:04,600 I've been chasin' around all over the place, 396 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,067 but there are no signposts or anything. 397 00:27:07,067 --> 00:27:10,067 - Well, I think you've, uh, 398 00:27:10,067 --> 00:27:13,400 found what you're looking for, haven't you? 399 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:14,633 Or haven't you? 400 00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:18,167 - I Beg your pardon? 401 00:27:18,167 --> 00:27:20,400 - Elgin Farm, that's what you're looking for, isn't it? 402 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,733 - Uh, yeah, that's right, I'm a bit late already. 403 00:27:23,733 --> 00:27:26,400 - Hmm, you must be the new handyman. 404 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,267 - That's right, yeah. 405 00:27:28,267 --> 00:27:30,667 - I bet Mummy can't wait to meet you. 406 00:27:30,667 --> 00:27:31,800 - Come on, I'll show you. 407 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,633 - No, no, hang on there. 408 00:27:33,633 --> 00:27:35,833 Don't you think you'd better get dressed first? 409 00:27:35,833 --> 00:27:40,100 - What's the matter, don't you like me the way I am? 410 00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,067 - Oh, yeah, yeah, nice. 411 00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:46,167 But, uh, well, uh, it's just I don't think you're mother 412 00:27:46,167 --> 00:27:48,967 would like me turning up with you dressed like that, do you? 413 00:27:48,967 --> 00:27:53,133 - Mmm, maybe you're right, she is a bit of an old dragon. 414 00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:02,500 - Hang on, don't I need my tools? 415 00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:05,067 - Your tools, I suppose you can't do anything 416 00:28:05,067 --> 00:28:07,067 without them, can you? 417 00:28:07,067 --> 00:28:07,900 - Oh. 418 00:28:18,867 --> 00:28:21,133 - Right, here you are, then, this is the barn 419 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,867 that mummy wants cleaned out. 420 00:28:22,867 --> 00:28:25,133 - Oh, fine, I'll get started then. 421 00:28:25,133 --> 00:28:26,933 Oh, I see, have you got anything 422 00:28:26,933 --> 00:28:28,533 I can shift all this hay with? 423 00:28:28,533 --> 00:28:29,833 - Of course, the pitchfork. 424 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:30,833 - Oh, right. 425 00:28:36,767 --> 00:28:39,233 - Have you always been a handyman then? 426 00:28:39,233 --> 00:28:41,533 - Oh, no, love, uh, I was in the navy for a bit, actually. 427 00:28:41,533 --> 00:28:43,433 - In the navy, gosh, a sailor. 428 00:28:43,433 --> 00:28:45,833 I'm going to London soon to become a dancer. 429 00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:48,833 I'm going to have my own act, and will drive men wild 430 00:28:48,833 --> 00:28:51,500 and meet film stars and beautiful people. 431 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,233 - Oh, very nice for ya. 432 00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:55,933 - You don't believe me, do you? 433 00:28:55,933 --> 00:28:58,433 Well I'll show you that I can. 434 00:29:20,933 --> 00:29:24,433 * So you want to be a rich girl 435 00:29:24,433 --> 00:29:28,067 * Livin' like a lady bird 436 00:29:28,067 --> 00:29:31,733 * With riches like the Queen of Sheba 437 00:29:31,733 --> 00:29:35,567 * Or maybe the Queen of the Nile 438 00:29:35,567 --> 00:29:39,067 * There's a long hard way to go now 439 00:29:39,067 --> 00:29:42,900 * So you'd better start thinkin' fast 440 00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:44,967 * Oh, oh 441 00:29:47,067 --> 00:29:50,733 * Oh, oh 442 00:30:04,167 --> 00:30:05,233 - Sorry Fred. 443 00:30:06,667 --> 00:30:08,500 Oh, you're looking worried, too, is there something wrong? 444 00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:11,200 - There may be, on the other hand, there may not be. 445 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,333 - Well, I'm just on my way to try and stop it. 446 00:30:13,333 --> 00:30:14,633 There's plenty of it about, you know. 447 00:30:14,633 --> 00:30:16,200 - It's breaking out everywhere. 448 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,800 Any stopping to be done, I'll stop it. 449 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,267 - Yeah, but you know what starts it off. 450 00:30:21,267 --> 00:30:24,467 - Can't put my finger on it, Charlie, but I don't trust him. 451 00:30:24,467 --> 00:30:27,000 - I can't think why, he's never let me down before. 452 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,800 And all the cows really enjoy him. 453 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,600 - Well, he's proving himself some handyman. 454 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,300 - Perhaps we should give him a really strong injection. 455 00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:36,233 I do know that we must keep him warm 456 00:30:36,233 --> 00:30:38,033 and he must be well-attended to. 457 00:30:38,033 --> 00:30:39,267 - He's well-attended to, 458 00:30:39,267 --> 00:30:41,467 I just saw Polly drag him to the barn. 459 00:30:41,467 --> 00:30:45,167 - Oh, well, if she looks after him well, I don't mind. 460 00:30:45,167 --> 00:30:47,233 Anyway, I can't just hang around here all day, 461 00:30:47,233 --> 00:30:48,900 I've got some seeds to sow. 462 00:30:48,900 --> 00:30:52,367 - Well, as long as you're the only one with that in mind. 463 00:30:52,367 --> 00:30:53,700 - So long, Fred. 464 00:30:55,633 --> 00:30:57,500 - Just a minute, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie! 465 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:58,333 Oh! 466 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,367 - Oh, sorry, Fred. 467 00:31:02,367 --> 00:31:04,300 Oh, by the way, will you tell the missus, 468 00:31:04,300 --> 00:31:07,067 if he's no good this afternoon I'll have him put down 469 00:31:07,067 --> 00:31:09,533 and I'll get her a new shorthorn tomorrow. 470 00:31:09,533 --> 00:31:12,700 So long. (Fred groans) 471 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:18,367 - It's no use pretending to work, I know I'm turning you on. 472 00:31:18,367 --> 00:31:21,833 * Oh but listen to what I'm sayin' 473 00:31:21,833 --> 00:31:25,767 * And don't you let yourself go down 474 00:31:25,767 --> 00:31:27,833 * Oh, oh 475 00:31:29,467 --> 00:31:31,900 * Oh, oh now 476 00:31:33,367 --> 00:31:37,200 * You say you want to be Queen of the screen 477 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:38,967 * And go pretty far 478 00:31:38,967 --> 00:31:40,967 * And drive a big car 479 00:31:40,967 --> 00:31:42,900 - Look, look, I'm sorry, 480 00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:45,500 you mustn't think this is anything to do with me. 481 00:31:45,500 --> 00:31:49,900 I mean, it was her and I, I mean, no, no, not me. 482 00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:52,833 That is, she was and I wasn't, see? 483 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,733 (buffoonish music) 484 00:32:06,267 --> 00:32:08,933 (gasps in pain) 485 00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:17,233 (pounding on door) 486 00:32:23,533 --> 00:32:27,367 - I'm sorry about that, is Mrs. Elgin around? 487 00:32:27,367 --> 00:32:31,200 - No, nor Polly, they're in the barn helping the handyman. 488 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,700 - I thought he was supposed to be helping them. 489 00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:36,367 I think I'll go and investigate. 490 00:32:36,367 --> 00:32:40,533 (manic music) (women giggling) 491 00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:44,300 (Fred groans) (lumber crashing) 492 00:34:11,100 --> 00:34:14,067 - Get out of the way, I can't stop! 493 00:34:16,367 --> 00:34:18,233 Oh, blimey, officer, I'm sorry, honest? 494 00:34:18,233 --> 00:34:19,633 Here, up you get. 495 00:34:21,300 --> 00:34:23,633 Brush your jacket down there 496 00:34:23,633 --> 00:34:25,467 - Get off, maniac. 497 00:34:25,467 --> 00:34:28,533 I'll have you, dangerous driving, bad brakes, 498 00:34:28,533 --> 00:34:32,567 faulty steering, hah, and no seat belts. 499 00:34:32,567 --> 00:34:34,800 - [Bob] But, officer-- - You should be locked up. 500 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,567 Handyman, I've never seen you do anything handy yet. 501 00:34:37,567 --> 00:34:39,400 I must warn you that anything you say further-- 502 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,533 - Oh no, Officer, you've got it all wrong. 503 00:34:41,533 --> 00:34:43,333 - Well, that's interesting. 504 00:34:43,333 --> 00:34:46,133 - Uh, yes, see, we thought we heard a tramp in the barn, 505 00:34:46,133 --> 00:34:50,233 we searched for him, oh, so sorry about this dress. 506 00:34:50,233 --> 00:34:52,267 - Oh, reveal all, I mean, tell me everything. 507 00:34:52,267 --> 00:34:55,067 - Oh, well, then we thought we heard a noise outside, 508 00:34:55,067 --> 00:34:57,667 and this brave man came out to investigate. 509 00:34:57,667 --> 00:34:58,667 - Brave man? 510 00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:04,267 - Officer, would you be a gentleman and lend me your jacket, 511 00:35:04,267 --> 00:35:06,167 and escort me back to the farmhouse? 512 00:35:06,167 --> 00:35:08,633 - [Fred] Of course, Madam. - I'm getting rather cold. 513 00:35:08,633 --> 00:35:10,967 - [Fred] We must cover your exposed br, eh, your bare, 514 00:35:10,967 --> 00:35:14,267 you're bristol, uh, let's put my coat around you, 515 00:35:14,267 --> 00:35:15,867 let's get you home. 516 00:35:19,333 --> 00:35:21,333 (sighs) 517 00:35:26,433 --> 00:35:28,433 (yawns) 518 00:35:29,900 --> 00:35:32,067 - How was it, love? 519 00:35:32,067 --> 00:35:33,267 - Oh, pretty rough. 520 00:35:33,267 --> 00:35:35,200 - Oh, you're not used to it, that's your trouble. 521 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:39,667 Still, never mind, I've brought you some nice chops. 522 00:35:39,667 --> 00:35:42,067 Why don't we have an early night? 523 00:35:42,067 --> 00:35:44,467 You eat that, gotta keep your strength up, 524 00:35:44,467 --> 00:35:47,467 and I'll just go up and have a bath. 525 00:36:14,733 --> 00:36:16,733 Do you like it, darling? 526 00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:21,133 Darling? 527 00:36:25,867 --> 00:36:26,700 Darling? 528 00:36:29,300 --> 00:36:32,067 (sighs) Darling. 529 00:36:34,067 --> 00:36:35,133 - Hello everybody 530 00:36:35,133 --> 00:36:36,833 - [Voiceover] Hello. 531 00:36:36,833 --> 00:36:38,233 - Oh, this is nice. 532 00:36:38,233 --> 00:36:39,233 - Cocktail or your usual? 533 00:36:39,233 --> 00:36:41,067 - Oh the usual, thank you. 534 00:36:41,067 --> 00:36:43,333 Very relaxing, that's what I need, 535 00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:45,367 rather a lot of relaxation at the moment. 536 00:36:45,367 --> 00:36:47,333 Life's very frustrating. 537 00:36:47,333 --> 00:36:51,067 Seem keeping fine though, thank you. 538 00:36:51,067 --> 00:36:53,733 Mmm, I see you have a new maid. 539 00:36:53,733 --> 00:36:55,767 - Yes, the squire found her actually. 540 00:36:55,767 --> 00:36:57,967 She was up for some minor offense or other. 541 00:36:57,967 --> 00:37:00,367 So he sentenced her to a good spanking, 542 00:37:00,367 --> 00:37:02,600 put her in my custody for good behavior, 543 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,367 and said he never wanted to see her up before him again. 544 00:37:05,367 --> 00:37:07,900 She's given pretty good service ever since. 545 00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:11,967 - By the way, I hear you, uh, exhausted our new handyman 546 00:37:11,967 --> 00:37:13,300 the other day, Mary. 547 00:37:13,300 --> 00:37:15,367 - Not me, it's when he went over to the farm 548 00:37:15,367 --> 00:37:17,267 when the trouble started, wasn't it, Jenny? 549 00:37:17,267 --> 00:37:19,267 - Oh, I don't know about that. 550 00:37:19,267 --> 00:37:21,667 But I hear you've booked him now, Prudence. 551 00:37:21,667 --> 00:37:23,933 - Anyone for another drink? 552 00:37:24,967 --> 00:37:27,633 (phone ringing) 553 00:37:29,633 --> 00:37:31,967 - [Bob] Oh, let it ring. 554 00:37:31,967 --> 00:37:34,667 - [Maggie] Oh, we can't, darling. 555 00:37:34,667 --> 00:37:38,333 Might be another job, can't let people down. 556 00:37:45,500 --> 00:37:46,733 Hello? 557 00:37:46,733 --> 00:37:48,800 - [Voiceover] Is that the handyman? 558 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:50,367 Could he call 'round this morning, 559 00:37:50,367 --> 00:37:53,300 because I've got some odd jobs that I'd like him to do? 560 00:37:53,300 --> 00:37:56,200 - OK, I'll tell him, he'll be up as soon as he can. 561 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,767 - [Voiceover] Thank you. - [Maggie] Bye-bye. 562 00:37:58,767 --> 00:38:00,267 - Who's that, hmm? 563 00:38:02,067 --> 00:38:06,767 - It was the squire's wife, she wants you to do a job. 564 00:38:06,767 --> 00:38:09,433 I'll go make you some breakfast. 565 00:38:15,233 --> 00:38:16,067 - Well, 566 00:38:17,733 --> 00:38:21,633 can't be much harm in a squire's wife. 567 00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:22,467 I hope. 568 00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:26,067 - Bop, bop, bop, mmm, mmm, mmm. 569 00:38:28,467 --> 00:38:30,800 So, what have you got planned today, my dear? 570 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:33,067 - Oh, I've got the handyman coming 'round to have a look 571 00:38:33,067 --> 00:38:34,500 and do a few jobs. 572 00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:37,600 - Well, don't let him keep you gossiping all day long. 573 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,533 You know what old Gasper's like. 574 00:38:39,533 --> 00:38:40,933 - Of course not, my dear. 575 00:38:40,933 --> 00:38:42,733 - Yes, well, thank you, my dear, 576 00:38:42,733 --> 00:38:44,533 oh, so sorry, my dear. 577 00:38:44,533 --> 00:38:46,267 I'm always doing that. 578 00:38:46,267 --> 00:38:48,267 Well, must go do a bit more hunting, 579 00:38:48,267 --> 00:38:53,267 thank you so much my dear. - [Prudence] Good luck. 580 00:38:53,267 --> 00:38:56,267 - Bye (chuckles). 581 00:38:56,267 --> 00:38:57,100 Oh. 582 00:39:03,100 --> 00:39:05,100 (chuckles and hums) 583 00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:07,667 (bouncy music) 584 00:39:13,167 --> 00:39:15,767 (horses neigh) 585 00:39:18,933 --> 00:39:21,533 (horn blaring) 586 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,100 (wheels squeaking) 587 00:39:40,567 --> 00:39:42,733 (humming) 588 00:39:43,833 --> 00:39:46,667 (door bell rings) 589 00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,500 - Oh, good morning, Mrs. Bullsworthy? 590 00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:53,967 - Yes, that's right, do come in. 591 00:39:53,967 --> 00:39:56,600 - Oh, thanks very much. 592 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:57,800 This way is it? 593 00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,633 - Go straight through. 594 00:40:01,867 --> 00:40:06,033 (thundering hooves and neighing horses) 595 00:40:16,333 --> 00:40:18,933 (dogs barking) 596 00:40:22,367 --> 00:40:24,433 You're new around here aren't you? 597 00:40:24,433 --> 00:40:26,433 - Yeah, that's right, we've just moved in 598 00:40:26,433 --> 00:40:28,167 to that little cottage down past the farm. 599 00:40:28,167 --> 00:40:30,567 - Oh, I know, my husband rides past your place. 600 00:40:30,567 --> 00:40:32,100 - Oh, really? 601 00:40:32,100 --> 00:40:33,933 - He says your wife could do with a good spanking. 602 00:40:33,933 --> 00:40:35,467 - What? 603 00:40:35,467 --> 00:40:38,533 - Oh yes, my husband loves spanking girls' bottoms. 604 00:40:38,533 --> 00:40:39,367 - Does he? - [Prudence] Especially 605 00:40:39,367 --> 00:40:41,133 when he's out hunting. 606 00:40:41,133 --> 00:40:42,833 - [Bob] What, for girls' bottoms? 607 00:40:42,833 --> 00:40:44,767 - No, foxes. - [Bob] Oh. 608 00:40:46,267 --> 00:40:48,733 - Mind you, he caught one on the last hunt 609 00:40:48,733 --> 00:40:51,167 hiding there right in the bushes. 610 00:40:51,167 --> 00:40:52,000 - What, a fox? 611 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,933 - No, a girl, silly. 612 00:40:53,933 --> 00:40:55,067 - Oh, I see. 613 00:40:57,833 --> 00:40:59,333 - Well didn't she complain? 614 00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:01,933 - Yes, she doesn't approve of blood sports at all. 615 00:41:01,933 --> 00:41:05,067 - No, no, I mean about the spanking. 616 00:41:05,067 --> 00:41:07,367 - Oh, no, goes on the hunt every week now, 617 00:41:07,367 --> 00:41:10,333 hides and waits for him to find her. 618 00:41:10,333 --> 00:41:12,900 He's even got the dogs trained. 619 00:41:14,067 --> 00:41:16,233 - Well, don't you complain? 620 00:41:16,233 --> 00:41:17,967 - Only when he stops. 621 00:41:19,367 --> 00:41:23,300 - [Bob] I see, you mean, he has a go at you as well? 622 00:41:23,300 --> 00:41:26,367 - Course he does, look I'll show you. 623 00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,500 - [Bob] Oh, very nasty. 624 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:36,400 - Would you like a drink by the way? 625 00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:37,867 - Yeah, yeah, why not. 626 00:41:37,867 --> 00:41:39,600 - Well, come with me. 627 00:41:41,367 --> 00:41:42,900 - You know, I'm gonna have trouble 628 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:46,433 with that new fellow who moved into Mrs. Willit's cottage. 629 00:41:46,433 --> 00:41:48,567 Can't even ride a bike properly. 630 00:41:48,567 --> 00:41:51,100 A three-wheeled one at that. 631 00:41:51,100 --> 00:41:52,800 Bloody dangerous he is. 632 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,533 - Oh, what makes you say that, dear? 633 00:41:54,533 --> 00:41:56,567 - He practically ran me down this morning. 634 00:41:56,567 --> 00:41:59,667 Bashed into a barn and ripped the clothes off 635 00:41:59,667 --> 00:42:01,600 poor Mrs. Elgin. 636 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:02,767 - He did what? 637 00:42:06,067 --> 00:42:07,133 - And he knocked on the squire's door, 638 00:42:07,133 --> 00:42:08,833 bothering the squire's wife 639 00:42:08,833 --> 00:42:10,867 before she even had time to get dressed. 640 00:42:10,867 --> 00:42:12,867 - Oh, don't be silly, dear, 641 00:42:12,867 --> 00:42:15,333 I'm sure he wasn't bothering her. 642 00:42:15,333 --> 00:42:18,600 Most likely, she has something she wants doing. 643 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:22,233 - Well, he wants should be doing something with that bike. 644 00:42:22,233 --> 00:42:24,500 A lethal weapon, that's what it is. 645 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,533 He'll run into some window with that one day, 646 00:42:26,533 --> 00:42:28,067 that's for sure. 647 00:42:28,067 --> 00:42:29,567 Parks it anywhere, he does. 648 00:42:29,567 --> 00:42:33,367 Next time I catch him I'll slap a ticket on it. 649 00:42:33,367 --> 00:42:37,400 Obstructing an entrance, no loading or unloading, 650 00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:38,500 I'll get him. 651 00:42:39,900 --> 00:42:44,100 - Don't be silly, dear, I'm sure she's working him. 652 00:42:44,100 --> 00:42:44,933 Very hard. 653 00:42:45,933 --> 00:42:48,200 (laughing) 654 00:42:52,500 --> 00:42:53,700 - Hello? 655 00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:56,433 Yes, OK, I'll tell him. 656 00:42:56,433 --> 00:42:57,267 Bye. 657 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,900 (phone rings) 658 00:43:05,567 --> 00:43:06,400 Hello? 659 00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:08,500 Uh, yes, OK. 660 00:43:12,867 --> 00:43:15,867 (phone rings) Hello? 661 00:43:21,233 --> 00:43:24,567 Here's some more calls for you, darling. 662 00:43:24,567 --> 00:43:27,233 (phone ringing) 663 00:43:37,333 --> 00:43:38,233 Hello, who? 664 00:43:40,267 --> 00:43:41,933 OK, fine, all right. 665 00:43:53,067 --> 00:43:53,833 Bye. 666 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:03,867 (singing opera) 667 00:44:14,500 --> 00:44:16,200 (knock on door) 668 00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:17,933 - Come in, it's open. 669 00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,767 * Maisie, Maisie dear 670 00:44:36,767 --> 00:44:40,867 * When you're very near 671 00:44:40,867 --> 00:44:44,800 * All my feelings get confused 672 00:44:49,633 --> 00:44:53,600 * Maisie can't you see 673 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,600 * What you do to me 674 00:44:57,900 --> 00:45:01,567 * I can't get away from you 675 00:45:06,333 --> 00:45:08,367 * Such a smile 676 00:45:08,367 --> 00:45:10,600 * What a smile 677 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,600 * Oh it turns me on 678 00:45:14,700 --> 00:45:16,833 * Such a girl 679 00:45:16,833 --> 00:45:18,967 * What a girl 680 00:45:18,967 --> 00:45:23,133 * The life is just a great big bowl of fun 681 00:45:26,433 --> 00:45:30,533 * Maisie, you're too much 682 00:45:30,533 --> 00:45:34,167 * Oh no, don't you touch 683 00:45:34,167 --> 00:45:37,233 - Bloody hell, round the bloody bend. 684 00:45:40,900 --> 00:45:43,300 - (gasps) Thank goodness! 685 00:45:43,300 --> 00:45:47,533 You must be the handyman, I need you desperately. 686 00:45:47,533 --> 00:45:49,367 - You gotta be joking. 687 00:45:49,367 --> 00:45:52,400 - I'm not, I've needed you since last night. 688 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:53,333 - Last night? 689 00:45:53,333 --> 00:45:55,067 - Yeah, that's when it happened. 690 00:45:55,067 --> 00:45:57,067 Oh God, I hope he's all right. 691 00:45:57,067 --> 00:46:00,067 - What happened, all right? 692 00:46:00,067 --> 00:46:02,300 You're mad, you're all mad. 693 00:46:03,233 --> 00:46:04,567 - What's wrong with you? 694 00:46:04,567 --> 00:46:05,867 - What's wrong with me? 695 00:46:05,867 --> 00:46:07,267 Well that's rich, that is. 696 00:46:07,267 --> 00:46:08,967 Well what's wrong with you? 697 00:46:08,967 --> 00:46:10,800 What's wrong with all of you? 698 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:13,567 You're maniacs, the lot of you, but you, 699 00:46:13,567 --> 00:46:16,500 blimey, you're not even subtle about it. 700 00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:18,367 - About what, what are you talkin' about? 701 00:46:18,367 --> 00:46:20,100 - The women around here, that's what. 702 00:46:20,100 --> 00:46:21,567 - I don't understand you. 703 00:46:21,567 --> 00:46:22,400 - Oh no? 704 00:46:24,533 --> 00:46:27,633 Then, why'd you ask me up here, then? 705 00:46:31,067 --> 00:46:35,200 - Oh, I see, oh look, let's start all over again, shall we? 706 00:46:36,300 --> 00:46:39,233 You are the new handyman, aren't you? 707 00:46:40,633 --> 00:46:41,933 - Yeah. 708 00:46:41,933 --> 00:46:45,433 - Good, well, can you mend the bed for me? 709 00:46:49,667 --> 00:46:50,500 - Oh. 710 00:46:53,433 --> 00:46:56,200 I'm sorry, I really am, honest. 711 00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,967 - Oh, it's all right, forget it. 712 00:46:57,967 --> 00:47:00,100 Mind you, you had me worried for a minute. 713 00:47:00,100 --> 00:47:02,767 - (laughs) Well that makes two of us, love. 714 00:47:02,767 --> 00:47:04,067 - What's the problem? 715 00:47:04,067 --> 00:47:05,733 - No, no, my mistake, I was out of order, 716 00:47:05,733 --> 00:47:07,300 as you say, forget it, eh? 717 00:47:07,300 --> 00:47:09,333 - I think you need a stiff drink, don't you? 718 00:47:09,333 --> 00:47:11,667 - Well, I wouldn't say no to a large scotch. 719 00:47:11,667 --> 00:47:13,167 - One large scotch coming up. 720 00:47:13,167 --> 00:47:14,100 - Smashing. 721 00:47:18,133 --> 00:47:22,300 Blimey, this has had a right old hammering. 722 00:47:22,300 --> 00:47:25,200 New legs on this side for starters. 723 00:47:32,567 --> 00:47:33,400 - Glasses up. 724 00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:34,567 - Oh, cheers (shouts). 725 00:47:34,567 --> 00:47:37,500 (thundering crash) 726 00:47:46,333 --> 00:47:49,833 - It's just not your day, is it? 727 00:47:49,833 --> 00:47:52,733 (buffoonish music) 728 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:57,467 - I'm in uniform, dear. 729 00:47:59,767 --> 00:48:01,600 Steady, cheerio, dear. 730 00:48:17,967 --> 00:48:20,567 (folksy music) 731 00:48:39,367 --> 00:48:41,767 (horn honks) 732 00:48:45,633 --> 00:48:46,900 - Morning, mum. 733 00:48:46,900 --> 00:48:48,867 - Half a gallon of your best, please. 734 00:48:48,867 --> 00:48:51,967 - Half a gallon, won't get very far on that. 735 00:48:51,967 --> 00:48:53,267 - Wanna bet? 736 00:48:53,267 --> 00:48:55,867 (folksy music) 737 00:49:21,467 --> 00:49:22,633 - Oh, morning. 738 00:49:22,633 --> 00:49:24,267 - Oh, how lucky. 739 00:49:24,267 --> 00:49:26,067 You're the new handyman? 740 00:49:26,067 --> 00:49:27,300 - Yeah. 741 00:49:27,300 --> 00:49:29,200 - My car seems to have broken down. 742 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,133 - Well, I'm not very well up on cars. 743 00:49:31,133 --> 00:49:32,300 - Please look at it for me, 744 00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:34,067 I'm sure you may be able to help. 745 00:49:34,067 --> 00:49:35,267 - Oh, well, to tell you the truth, love, 746 00:49:35,267 --> 00:49:37,833 motors really aren't in my line. 747 00:49:37,833 --> 00:49:40,200 - I'm sure cars are just like women. 748 00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:44,067 They need a man's touch to get them going 749 00:49:44,067 --> 00:49:45,067 - Oh, right. 750 00:49:47,867 --> 00:49:51,333 Uh, is this the bonnet lever, love? 751 00:49:51,333 --> 00:49:53,900 - No, see, it's the gear lever. 752 00:49:56,900 --> 00:49:58,133 It opens there. 753 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:09,600 - Outstanding. 754 00:50:15,067 --> 00:50:19,000 - Perhaps they require some sort of adjustment. 755 00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:22,100 - Yeah, yeah, perhaps. 756 00:50:23,967 --> 00:50:27,067 Uh, listen, why don't I shoot off down to the local garage, 757 00:50:27,067 --> 00:50:28,867 maybe they can send someone up, eh? 758 00:50:28,867 --> 00:50:31,267 - No, no, don't do that, I'm sure we'll be able 759 00:50:31,267 --> 00:50:33,600 to manage something between us. 760 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:34,867 Have a look underneath. 761 00:50:34,867 --> 00:50:37,000 - Look, honest, you've got the wrong man, 762 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,567 I really don't know what I'm doing. 763 00:50:38,567 --> 00:50:42,333 - Never mind, have a go, just for me, please. 764 00:50:45,467 --> 00:50:46,467 - All right. 765 00:50:53,100 --> 00:50:56,067 (buffoonish music) 766 00:51:09,567 --> 00:51:11,733 Eh, looks all right to me. 767 00:51:13,067 --> 00:51:14,400 Bit dirty, maybe. 768 00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,267 But then, I don't know what I'm looking for anyway, 769 00:51:17,267 --> 00:51:19,233 and if I did, I wouldn't know what to do if I found it. 770 00:51:19,233 --> 00:51:21,633 - What, what did you say? 771 00:51:21,633 --> 00:51:23,300 You found something? 772 00:51:24,700 --> 00:51:27,633 - I said, oh blimey, it's a bit dark down here, 773 00:51:27,633 --> 00:51:29,400 I can't see much. 774 00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:30,733 - Oh, excuse me. 775 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:35,400 - Fan belt. 776 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:36,233 - What? 777 00:51:39,067 --> 00:51:41,867 - Fan belt, battery, let's check battery. 778 00:51:41,867 --> 00:51:45,300 - There you are, you see, you are clever. 779 00:51:51,233 --> 00:51:52,600 - Where is it? 780 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:53,767 - In the back. 781 00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:03,900 - Maybe you're a bit flat. 782 00:52:03,900 --> 00:52:06,400 - I hope not, I have it regularly serviced 783 00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,767 and a good going over once a month. 784 00:52:09,767 --> 00:52:14,500 - Yeah, well, you certainly topped up all right. 785 00:52:14,500 --> 00:52:16,800 What about the leads, where are the leads? 786 00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,067 - There they are. 787 00:52:18,067 --> 00:52:20,300 (both grunt) 788 00:52:20,300 --> 00:52:22,367 What took you so long? 789 00:52:22,367 --> 00:52:24,467 (laughs) 790 00:52:27,100 --> 00:52:30,067 (buffoonish music) 791 00:52:44,767 --> 00:52:47,600 (energetic music) 792 00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:52,367 Mmm, I feel as though I'm floating on air. 793 00:52:52,367 --> 00:52:56,133 Your hands are nice and soft, I bet you use hand cream. 794 00:52:56,133 --> 00:52:58,733 - No, it's the grease from the car. 795 00:52:58,733 --> 00:53:00,800 - What, stop it, stop it. 796 00:53:02,767 --> 00:53:03,700 - I don't understand, it was you-- 797 00:53:03,700 --> 00:53:05,267 - Not you, the car. 798 00:53:06,233 --> 00:53:08,333 Do something, steer it. 799 00:53:08,333 --> 00:53:11,267 (buffoonish music) 800 00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:22,433 Steer it. 801 00:53:22,433 --> 00:53:23,433 - I can't, the steering wheel's the other end. 802 00:53:23,433 --> 00:53:24,667 - Oh God, do something. 803 00:53:24,667 --> 00:53:26,767 - Hang on, I'll turn on the hand brake. 804 00:53:26,767 --> 00:53:28,333 Shit, where is it? 805 00:53:28,333 --> 00:53:31,267 - See on the side, useless, you call yourself a mechanic, 806 00:53:31,267 --> 00:53:33,333 pull it, break. 807 00:53:33,333 --> 00:53:34,500 - What, listen now, I told you that I didn't 808 00:53:34,500 --> 00:53:36,833 know anything about--. - [Woman] Break. 809 00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:38,433 No, the other side. 810 00:53:46,567 --> 00:53:47,400 Break. 811 00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:48,767 - I can't. 812 00:53:48,767 --> 00:53:50,767 - That's the gear lever. 813 00:54:00,100 --> 00:54:01,267 - What's that? 814 00:54:10,067 --> 00:54:10,867 Huh, ho. 815 00:54:22,300 --> 00:54:24,300 (sighs) 816 00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:29,200 What a mess. 817 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:35,800 - Oh no. 818 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:38,067 - [Bob] Oh, yeah. 819 00:54:38,067 --> 00:54:39,433 - No. 820 00:54:39,433 --> 00:54:40,500 - [Bob] Yeah. 821 00:54:41,433 --> 00:54:43,433 - No, it's the law. 822 00:54:43,433 --> 00:54:45,267 - [Bob] What law? 823 00:54:45,267 --> 00:54:47,200 - The police, you fool. 824 00:54:50,067 --> 00:54:51,833 - Oh, morning Officer. 825 00:54:53,067 --> 00:54:55,100 We seem to have had a bit of an accident. 826 00:54:55,100 --> 00:54:58,767 - I'm not surprised, the position you're in. 827 00:54:58,767 --> 00:55:01,167 Would you care to leave the car before you have another? 828 00:55:01,167 --> 00:55:02,667 And the lady, too. 829 00:55:19,367 --> 00:55:21,767 Maniac, bloody dangerous. 830 00:55:21,767 --> 00:55:23,133 You should be locked up. 831 00:55:23,133 --> 00:55:25,400 And you will be once I'm finished with you. 832 00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:26,900 For years, I hope. 833 00:55:28,100 --> 00:55:29,967 Driving without due care and attention, 834 00:55:29,967 --> 00:55:32,900 and exceeding the speed limit in reverse. 835 00:55:32,900 --> 00:55:35,300 - But Officer, I can explain. 836 00:55:37,900 --> 00:55:40,800 - Damaging police property, and now, 837 00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,333 threatening an officer with an offensive weapon. 838 00:55:43,333 --> 00:55:45,200 - Come off it, this is a gear lever, 839 00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:46,733 it came off in me hand. 840 00:55:46,733 --> 00:55:49,167 - Oh, faulty gear lever. 841 00:55:49,167 --> 00:55:51,067 Has this car been M-O-T'd sir? 842 00:55:51,067 --> 00:55:52,500 - Well, I don't know, 843 00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:53,933 this lady was having trouble getting started-- 844 00:55:53,933 --> 00:55:55,867 - I saw how you got her started. 845 00:55:55,867 --> 00:55:58,300 - Now, listen, Constable, I've had enough. 846 00:55:58,300 --> 00:56:00,067 - I can see that, madam. 847 00:56:00,067 --> 00:56:02,467 - Now look here, we were in the car-- 848 00:56:02,467 --> 00:56:05,433 - Committing an obscene act in a public place. 849 00:56:05,433 --> 00:56:09,133 Attempting to drive a car from the rear seat. 850 00:56:09,133 --> 00:56:11,500 Right, sir, right, madam? 851 00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:13,400 I must warn you that anything you say 852 00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:17,567 will be taken down and may be used in evidence against you. 853 00:56:19,133 --> 00:56:23,067 Now, sir, madam, have you anything to say? 854 00:56:23,067 --> 00:56:25,133 - Yes, your fly's open. 855 00:56:25,133 --> 00:56:26,467 - My fly's open. 856 00:56:37,367 --> 00:56:39,967 (horn honking) 857 00:57:01,767 --> 00:57:05,067 (church bells ringing) 858 00:57:11,633 --> 00:57:14,200 - Well, hello, what kept you? 859 00:57:14,200 --> 00:57:17,500 - Sorry, madam, I've um, just had a breakdown. 860 00:57:17,500 --> 00:57:20,600 - Oh, I'm sorry, I hope it wasn't anything too serious. 861 00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:22,933 I've got a lot for you to do. 862 00:57:22,933 --> 00:57:24,567 - Oh no, I'm fine. 863 00:57:24,567 --> 00:57:27,400 - Good, well, this is going to be a surprise. 864 00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:30,267 My husband doesn't know anything about this. 865 00:57:30,267 --> 00:57:31,700 - Really? 866 00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:34,833 - Mmm, it's just a secret between you and me. 867 00:57:36,333 --> 00:57:37,500 - I see. 868 00:57:37,500 --> 00:57:40,100 - Mmm, well, better come in then. 869 00:57:41,067 --> 00:57:41,867 - Right. 870 00:57:42,967 --> 00:57:43,800 Oh. 871 00:58:02,333 --> 00:58:03,167 - Well, 872 00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:05,700 here it is. 873 00:58:08,067 --> 00:58:09,933 - What exactly do you want me to do then? 874 00:58:09,933 --> 00:58:11,500 - I want you to put it up. 875 00:58:11,500 --> 00:58:12,733 - You what? 876 00:58:12,733 --> 00:58:16,867 - The paint, I want you to paint the ceiling. 877 00:58:16,867 --> 00:58:17,867 - Oh, I see. 878 00:58:20,300 --> 00:58:23,467 All right then, I'd better start then. 879 00:58:46,500 --> 00:58:48,300 - I usually put it on the window sill. 880 00:58:48,300 --> 00:58:50,600 - I beg your pardon? - [Woman] The plank. 881 00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,967 Move the ladder closer and put the other end 882 00:58:51,967 --> 00:58:53,233 on the window sill. 883 00:58:53,233 --> 00:58:54,900 - Oh, if you say so. 884 00:58:57,300 --> 00:58:59,200 - Well, it's the way my husband does it, 885 00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,300 but he can't put anything up. 886 00:59:01,300 --> 00:59:03,533 So, uh, I needed an expert. 887 00:59:05,233 --> 00:59:08,067 Someone who knows what he's doing. 888 00:59:09,100 --> 00:59:10,433 - Very sensible. 889 00:59:11,900 --> 00:59:14,500 Well, as my old man used to say, if a job's worth doin'. 890 00:59:14,500 --> 00:59:15,467 - Yes? 891 00:59:15,467 --> 00:59:16,800 - It's worth doing well, right? 892 00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:18,133 - I quite agree. 893 00:59:19,533 --> 00:59:21,233 - The wife thinks I'm quite good at it, anyway. 894 00:59:21,233 --> 00:59:23,633 - Oh well, she should know. 895 00:59:23,633 --> 00:59:25,567 - Quite true, you should have seen us over at our place. 896 00:59:25,567 --> 00:59:27,800 We had to strip off everything before we could start. 897 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:29,200 - Isn't that usual? 898 00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:32,133 - Yeah, but I had a terrible job getting it up. 899 00:59:32,133 --> 00:59:35,867 - Oh, surely not, a big man like you? 900 00:59:35,867 --> 00:59:38,533 - Well the wife helped of course. 901 00:59:38,533 --> 00:59:41,300 - She sounds as if she knows what she's doing. 902 00:59:41,300 --> 00:59:43,633 - What do you fancy then? 903 00:59:43,633 --> 00:59:45,400 - What do you suggest? 904 00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:46,233 - Uh, 905 00:59:49,267 --> 00:59:50,267 psychedelic? 906 00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:54,167 - Oh, yes, that sounds interesting. 907 00:59:55,900 --> 00:59:57,633 - Well, I think I got enough here to do it with. 908 00:59:57,633 --> 01:00:00,300 - Oh, I'm sure you have. 909 01:00:00,300 --> 01:00:03,633 - Could you find something I can stir the paint with? 910 01:00:03,633 --> 01:00:06,400 - Oh, yes, I can see something. 911 01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:07,633 - Where? 912 01:00:07,633 --> 01:00:08,733 - Do you want me to get it for you? 913 01:00:08,733 --> 01:00:09,967 - Yeah, if you wouldn't mind, and then 914 01:00:09,967 --> 01:00:13,000 I can get the paint up the ladder, OK? 915 01:00:16,233 --> 01:00:19,233 - Well, I hope it'll be long enough. 916 01:00:20,133 --> 01:00:21,567 - What's that? 917 01:00:21,567 --> 01:00:24,567 - The thing, to stir the paint with. 918 01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:28,067 - Oh, don't worry about that I'll find something. 919 01:00:28,067 --> 01:00:31,900 - Oh, no, no, give me time, I'm still looking. 920 01:00:33,633 --> 01:00:36,233 - You found it yet, then? 921 01:00:36,233 --> 01:00:37,667 - Any minute now. 922 01:00:38,700 --> 01:00:40,600 Oh, I think I found it. 923 01:00:42,700 --> 01:00:43,533 - No! 924 01:00:44,733 --> 01:00:46,633 Oh, God, I'm so sorry about that. 925 01:00:46,633 --> 01:00:49,233 (mumbles) 926 01:00:49,233 --> 01:00:50,667 This just isn't my day today, 927 01:00:50,667 --> 01:00:52,500 I'm really sorry, honest. 928 01:00:52,500 --> 01:00:56,667 - I suppose now you'll drag me naked across the ceiling. 929 01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:02,300 (cows mooing) 930 01:01:08,067 --> 01:01:10,800 (knocks on door) 931 01:01:15,833 --> 01:01:17,467 - Ah, hello, Mr. Wessex. 932 01:01:17,467 --> 01:01:19,567 - Call me Gasper, most other folks do. 933 01:01:19,567 --> 01:01:20,900 - Well, we haven't been here long. 934 01:01:20,900 --> 01:01:22,400 - I know that. 935 01:01:22,400 --> 01:01:24,200 - Well Gasper, you see, it's like this, my husband 936 01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,233 he's gone into the handyman business, 937 01:01:26,233 --> 01:01:27,433 and to be quite frank with you, 938 01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:30,100 it seems to be far more than he can handle. 939 01:01:30,100 --> 01:01:32,400 - I've been handyman here, man and boy, 940 01:01:32,400 --> 01:01:34,733 never been more than I can manage. 941 01:01:34,733 --> 01:01:36,067 - I don't know about that, but Bob, 942 01:01:36,067 --> 01:01:38,367 he comes home exhausted every night. 943 01:01:38,367 --> 01:01:40,367 - Well what do you want me to do, ma'am? 944 01:01:40,367 --> 01:01:42,067 - Well, I thought perhaps you could come to 945 01:01:42,067 --> 01:01:44,233 some sort of arrangement, you know, split the jobs. 946 01:01:44,233 --> 01:01:45,867 - All right, it suits me, Missy. 947 01:01:45,867 --> 01:01:48,533 - I'll just go and get a list of his calls. 948 01:01:48,533 --> 01:01:50,367 - Well these foreign buggers, 949 01:01:50,367 --> 01:01:52,733 I don't understand how they do it. 950 01:01:52,733 --> 01:01:55,267 I've been handyman in this village, man and boy, 951 01:01:55,267 --> 01:01:56,800 never tired me out. 952 01:01:59,167 --> 01:02:00,633 - Here we are Gasper. 953 01:02:00,633 --> 01:02:01,700 And when you've finished those 954 01:02:01,700 --> 01:02:03,500 I'll have plenty more for you. 955 01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:05,400 - All right, ma'am, I'll get on with these 956 01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:07,833 and come back for more later. 957 01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,533 (knocks on door) 958 01:02:31,067 --> 01:02:32,533 - What on Earth do you want? 959 01:02:32,533 --> 01:02:34,667 - You sent for an odd job man. 960 01:02:34,667 --> 01:02:37,067 - Yes, but you're not, well. 961 01:02:38,067 --> 01:02:39,600 - I'm the odd job man. 962 01:02:39,600 --> 01:02:40,600 - Who sent you? 963 01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,433 - The gaffer's wife, ma'am. 964 01:02:42,433 --> 01:02:45,100 - Tell her I cancelled the call. 965 01:02:50,300 --> 01:02:53,467 - Um, come to do the odd job, ma'am. 966 01:02:53,467 --> 01:02:55,800 - What did you say? 967 01:02:55,800 --> 01:03:00,400 - Well it says here that you have a odd job you want doing. 968 01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:03,067 - Oh, oh, go and chop the weeds. 969 01:03:07,467 --> 01:03:09,967 (bells chime) 970 01:03:11,533 --> 01:03:12,933 - Hello, darling. 971 01:03:14,067 --> 01:03:15,733 - Mmm, I'm so tired. 972 01:03:17,233 --> 01:03:19,767 - Oh, that's all right, darling, I've solved our worries. 973 01:03:19,767 --> 01:03:20,700 - Hmm? 974 01:03:20,700 --> 01:03:21,933 - I've got you some help, 975 01:03:21,933 --> 01:03:23,433 there's a sweet old man called Gasper. 976 01:03:23,433 --> 01:03:25,700 He's been the handyman in the village here for years. 977 01:03:25,700 --> 01:03:28,200 Anyway, I've done a deal with him, and I've given him 978 01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:29,433 some of your calls. 979 01:03:29,433 --> 01:03:30,800 Aren't I a clever girl? 980 01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:32,067 - You've done what? 981 01:03:32,067 --> 01:03:33,833 - I've given him some of your calls. 982 01:03:33,833 --> 01:03:35,567 I did do right, didn't I? 983 01:03:35,567 --> 01:03:39,067 - (laughs) Well, I don't know, 984 01:03:39,067 --> 01:03:40,967 this should prove very interesting. 985 01:03:40,967 --> 01:03:43,900 - And then that old fool Gasper turned up. 986 01:03:43,900 --> 01:03:46,300 - Yes, and he even turned up to wash my car. 987 01:03:46,300 --> 01:03:48,067 - Yes, I've had the same thing as well. 988 01:03:48,067 --> 01:03:51,200 - When I employ a young man for some hard work, 989 01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:53,733 I expect a young man to turn up. 990 01:03:53,733 --> 01:03:56,100 - We all know what hard work you wanted doing. 991 01:03:56,100 --> 01:03:57,500 - There's no need to come that 992 01:03:57,500 --> 01:03:59,500 butter wouldn't melt in my little mouth, 993 01:03:59,500 --> 01:04:03,233 we all know your mouth is the only little thing about you. 994 01:04:03,233 --> 01:04:04,767 - Oh, let's forget it shall we, 995 01:04:04,767 --> 01:04:06,600 he's made fools of all of us. 996 01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:08,867 And he's taken our money under false pretenses. 997 01:04:08,867 --> 01:04:10,133 - Yes, very true. 998 01:04:10,133 --> 01:04:12,767 - What's this about, false pretenses? 999 01:04:12,767 --> 01:04:14,633 - It's the new handyman. 1000 01:04:14,633 --> 01:04:16,133 - Well, what's he been up to? 1001 01:04:16,133 --> 01:04:18,633 No good, that's a certainty. 1002 01:04:18,633 --> 01:04:20,300 - Well it's just that some of us employed him 1003 01:04:20,300 --> 01:04:23,600 to do odd jobs and instead he's sent old Gasper along. 1004 01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:25,900 And when he's come, he hasn't done much. 1005 01:04:25,900 --> 01:04:27,967 In fact, he's done nothing. 1006 01:04:27,967 --> 01:04:29,533 - Come to think about it, 1007 01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:31,967 I gave him an odd job to do the other day 1008 01:04:31,967 --> 01:04:34,333 and he made a complete botch of it. 1009 01:04:34,333 --> 01:04:37,067 - We'll have to do something with this handyman fellow. 1010 01:04:37,067 --> 01:04:38,767 A word in your ear, Squire. 1011 01:04:38,767 --> 01:04:41,400 - Certainly, Knowles, come into the study, you know the way. 1012 01:04:41,400 --> 01:04:45,567 Follow me, you see what bothers me is I've (fades out) 1013 01:04:48,933 --> 01:04:50,867 - Do you think that was wise, dear? 1014 01:04:50,867 --> 01:04:54,633 - Well, attack is the best method of defense. 1015 01:04:57,300 --> 01:05:00,733 - There we are, love, one cafe con latte. 1016 01:05:06,600 --> 01:05:07,933 Any calls this morning? 1017 01:05:07,933 --> 01:05:11,967 - None so far (yawns). 1018 01:05:11,967 --> 01:05:12,967 - Have you started breakfast yet? 1019 01:05:12,967 --> 01:05:13,800 - No. 1020 01:05:15,167 --> 01:05:17,333 - Let's skip it, shall we? 1021 01:05:33,267 --> 01:05:36,167 (buffoonish music) 1022 01:05:55,333 --> 01:05:58,067 (knocks on door) 1023 01:06:02,167 --> 01:06:04,933 (knocks on door) 1024 01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,067 - Ah. 1025 01:06:40,267 --> 01:06:41,500 What's in here? 1026 01:06:56,800 --> 01:06:59,133 (muttering) 1027 01:07:13,933 --> 01:07:16,767 (knocks on glass) 1028 01:07:17,633 --> 01:07:18,800 - Mister Plod. 1029 01:07:48,467 --> 01:07:50,400 Yes, Officer, can I help you? 1030 01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,067 - I doubt it, sir. 1031 01:07:52,067 --> 01:07:54,633 I've had several nasty complaints about you. 1032 01:07:54,633 --> 01:07:56,067 - What? 1033 01:07:56,067 --> 01:07:59,067 - (chuckles) Money under false pretenses. 1034 01:07:59,067 --> 01:08:01,367 Work unfinished, etc., .etc. 1035 01:08:03,500 --> 01:08:06,233 - Well that's just not true. 1036 01:08:06,233 --> 01:08:08,300 - Well, that's as may be, 1037 01:08:08,300 --> 01:08:11,933 the squire would like to see you, at the hall. 1038 01:08:11,933 --> 01:08:13,100 Tonight, 8:00. 1039 01:08:14,433 --> 01:08:15,667 - What for? 1040 01:08:15,667 --> 01:08:19,200 - You'll see, be at the police station, 7:30. 1041 01:08:22,067 --> 01:08:23,500 And. 1042 01:08:23,500 --> 01:08:24,667 Don't be late. 1043 01:08:35,367 --> 01:08:38,067 - Darling, I'm up here. 1044 01:08:38,067 --> 01:08:39,733 - I've gotta go out. 1045 01:08:41,067 --> 01:08:41,967 - Oh, hell. 1046 01:08:44,233 --> 01:08:46,967 (din of patrons) 1047 01:08:51,200 --> 01:08:53,467 - It's a bit early for that, isn't it? 1048 01:08:53,467 --> 01:08:54,800 - No, I need it. 1049 01:08:55,733 --> 01:08:57,933 Do you fancy another round? 1050 01:08:59,533 --> 01:09:01,700 (mumbles) 1051 01:09:19,767 --> 01:09:23,767 - What's the trouble, more women problems? 1052 01:09:23,767 --> 01:09:25,600 - Aye, you could say that. 1053 01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:27,900 Only now the local knobs are in it. 1054 01:09:27,900 --> 01:09:30,400 - No, caught on the job? 1055 01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:33,433 - Not on the job is more to the point. 1056 01:09:33,433 --> 01:09:35,167 - How do you mean? 1057 01:09:35,167 --> 01:09:37,100 - Well, it doesn't matter. 1058 01:09:37,100 --> 01:09:38,067 - Tell her. 1059 01:09:40,333 --> 01:09:44,233 - Now come on, sometimes it helps to tell someone, you know. 1060 01:09:44,233 --> 01:09:45,433 - Bitches. 1061 01:09:45,433 --> 01:09:47,700 - What've they done to you? 1062 01:09:49,133 --> 01:09:52,567 - Well, I got so busy, my wife thought I needed some help. 1063 01:09:52,567 --> 01:09:53,933 - She, what? 1064 01:09:53,933 --> 01:09:57,633 - Employed this old geezer to gimme a hand. 1065 01:09:57,633 --> 01:09:59,600 (laughs) 1066 01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:01,733 Yeah, it's all right for you to laugh. 1067 01:10:01,733 --> 01:10:05,567 Now I'm being done for false, false pretenses. 1068 01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:08,400 - Oh no, you poor thing. 1069 01:10:09,567 --> 01:10:11,700 What, are they ganging up on your or something? 1070 01:10:11,700 --> 01:10:15,033 - And there's nothing I can do about it. 1071 01:10:16,967 --> 01:10:18,567 - Think you've had enough, 1072 01:10:18,567 --> 01:10:21,833 why don't you come back with me and have a coffee? 1073 01:10:21,833 --> 01:10:23,333 - Fat lot of good that would do. 1074 01:10:23,333 --> 01:10:25,400 - You'd be surprised. 1075 01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:28,067 Come on then, come back with me. 1076 01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:31,333 Oops. 1077 01:10:34,567 --> 01:10:35,667 There we are. 1078 01:10:39,433 --> 01:10:41,567 Feeling better, love? 1079 01:10:41,567 --> 01:10:42,600 - No. 1080 01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:45,033 - Drink the coffee, it helps. 1081 01:10:45,033 --> 01:10:48,033 Yeah, for a hangover, perhaps, but not me. 1082 01:10:48,033 --> 01:10:51,567 - That's where I come in, listen. 1083 01:10:51,567 --> 01:10:54,233 While you were playing about with all the wives, 1084 01:10:54,233 --> 01:10:57,867 did you ever wonder what the husbands were up to? 1085 01:10:57,867 --> 01:11:00,333 - Oh, uh, I don't know. 1086 01:11:00,333 --> 01:11:03,467 - Take that old man Wayne for instance. 1087 01:11:03,467 --> 01:11:07,633 (oohs and ahhs) (giggling) 1088 01:11:12,600 --> 01:11:15,533 And then, there's that copper. 1089 01:11:15,533 --> 01:11:18,800 (laughing and whooing) 1090 01:11:21,400 --> 01:11:23,600 And as to the squire, hoo. 1091 01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:28,600 (maniacal laughter) 1092 01:11:32,633 --> 01:11:34,567 And then there's the butcher. 1093 01:11:34,567 --> 01:11:36,900 Oh, you wouldn't believe what they get up to. 1094 01:11:36,900 --> 01:11:39,967 (yelps and laughter) 1095 01:11:43,933 --> 01:11:45,100 - What a town. 1096 01:11:48,467 --> 01:11:49,967 It's unbelievable. 1097 01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:55,367 Oh, but how's this gonna help me? 1098 01:11:57,200 --> 01:11:58,367 - Don't worry, 1099 01:12:01,767 --> 01:12:03,767 I'll think of something. 1100 01:12:07,567 --> 01:12:09,900 - You didn't realize the squire was the local magistrate. 1101 01:12:09,900 --> 01:12:12,133 I'll get promoted for this. 1102 01:12:16,900 --> 01:12:17,733 Ah, ah. 1103 01:12:22,633 --> 01:12:24,300 Now you, stand there 1104 01:12:26,067 --> 01:12:27,633 and don't you move. 1105 01:12:29,067 --> 01:12:31,300 I've got you now, you know. 1106 01:12:31,300 --> 01:12:34,467 (laughing maniacally) 1107 01:12:39,533 --> 01:12:42,100 - Squire, listen, I'm not gonna be able to go on 1108 01:12:42,100 --> 01:12:45,933 keeping you happy like this if I run the local pub as well. 1109 01:12:45,933 --> 01:12:48,333 Why don't they give the job to that nice young couple 1110 01:12:48,333 --> 01:12:49,867 that's just moved here? 1111 01:12:49,867 --> 01:12:53,167 He's already doing odd jobs about the place, you know? 1112 01:12:53,167 --> 01:12:57,333 - The handyman, yes, that'll keep him occupied (laughs). 1113 01:13:01,967 --> 01:13:04,467 - We don't make many mistakes. 1114 01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:13,400 (knocks on door) 1115 01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:14,867 - Who's that? 1116 01:13:14,867 --> 01:13:18,400 - Don't worry, my dear, it's only Knowles (laughs). 1117 01:13:20,167 --> 01:13:21,267 - This is it. 1118 01:13:26,133 --> 01:13:28,900 (knocks on door) 1119 01:13:32,533 --> 01:13:36,700 - Oh, I suppose I'd, I'd better deal with it, dear. 1120 01:13:38,767 --> 01:13:40,067 - Right. 1121 01:13:40,067 --> 01:13:42,067 - [Squire] Excuse me. - Thank you, Squire. 1122 01:13:42,067 --> 01:13:42,867 - Yeah. 1123 01:13:51,367 --> 01:13:52,633 (giggling) 1124 01:13:52,633 --> 01:13:54,133 Thank you my dear. 1125 01:13:55,433 --> 01:13:56,233 Knowles. 1126 01:14:25,533 --> 01:14:28,600 - The squire would like to see you, sir. 1127 01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:29,433 This way. 1128 01:14:47,067 --> 01:14:49,733 (bells chiming) 1129 01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:58,067 - So, asleep are ya? 1130 01:15:01,067 --> 01:15:05,067 What a pity, have to keep the news til tomorrow. 1131 01:15:09,067 --> 01:15:11,800 Still, perhaps it's just as well. 1132 01:15:14,067 --> 01:15:16,867 Don't want to excite you too much. 1133 01:15:16,867 --> 01:15:18,500 - What news? 1134 01:15:18,500 --> 01:15:19,833 - What, love? 1135 01:15:19,833 --> 01:15:21,633 - I said, what news. 1136 01:15:21,633 --> 01:15:23,633 - Oh, never mind, love, you go to sleep. 1137 01:15:23,633 --> 01:15:25,200 It'll keep til morning. 1138 01:15:25,200 --> 01:15:26,367 - What news? 1139 01:15:26,367 --> 01:15:27,933 - Careful, careful. 1140 01:15:29,133 --> 01:15:30,567 Can't have the new landlord of the local 1141 01:15:30,567 --> 01:15:32,700 with scratches all over his face, can we? 1142 01:15:32,700 --> 01:15:34,300 - What did you say? 1143 01:15:35,800 --> 01:15:38,533 - They offered me the job, down at the boozer. 1144 01:15:38,533 --> 01:15:39,467 I accepted. 1145 01:15:40,433 --> 01:15:41,267 - Darling! 1146 01:15:43,667 --> 01:15:46,233 (folksy music) 1147 01:15:50,067 --> 01:15:52,967 (rooster crowing) 1148 01:15:52,967 --> 01:15:54,600 - Well, I can't understand it, 1149 01:15:54,600 --> 01:15:56,333 one minute they're all against him, 1150 01:15:56,333 --> 01:15:59,100 and the next minute, they make him manager of the local. 1151 01:15:59,100 --> 01:16:01,067 - At least there's no unpleasantness. 1152 01:16:01,067 --> 01:16:04,467 - Let's stop bitching, let's organize ourselves from now on. 1153 01:16:04,467 --> 01:16:06,967 - Yes, well that means we're back to where we started. 1154 01:16:06,967 --> 01:16:09,133 - I think I know what we can do. 1155 01:16:09,133 --> 01:16:11,467 If I were to order some drinks. 1156 01:16:11,467 --> 01:16:13,533 - What's she going to do? 1157 01:16:25,100 --> 01:16:26,900 - Hey, darling, things are really looking up, 1158 01:16:26,900 --> 01:16:27,833 here's our first order. 1159 01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:28,900 - Oh, great, who's it for? 1160 01:16:28,900 --> 01:16:30,400 - The squire. 1161 01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:31,933 - The squire? 1162 01:16:31,933 --> 01:16:34,733 - Mmm, he's a jolly good customer. 1163 01:16:34,733 --> 01:16:38,367 - OK, still, I hope he won't wanna spank me. 1164 01:16:38,367 --> 01:16:39,600 - You what? 1165 01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:41,100 - Oh, nothing, nothing. 1166 01:16:41,100 --> 01:16:44,633 - Oh, anyway, she wants it out first thing this afternoon. 1167 01:16:44,633 --> 01:16:46,133 - She? 1168 01:16:46,133 --> 01:16:49,867 - Mmm, the squire's wife, I think it's a surprise. 1169 01:16:49,867 --> 01:16:52,700 - Yeah, well, I hope you're right. 1170 01:16:54,200 --> 01:16:56,867 Well, I'll go and fix it up, eh? 1171 01:17:05,433 --> 01:17:08,067 (folksy music) 1172 01:17:10,800 --> 01:17:13,400 * Who do you think is coming round 1173 01:17:13,400 --> 01:17:17,500 * And taking me down to the fair 1174 01:17:18,567 --> 01:17:21,067 * Margaretta now she's better 1175 01:17:21,067 --> 01:17:26,067 * Come on round let down your hair 1176 01:17:26,067 --> 01:17:28,833 * Come today and not tomorrow 1177 01:17:28,833 --> 01:17:32,600 * Come tomorrow I'll be gone 1178 01:17:33,933 --> 01:17:36,067 * But you know just how you look 1179 01:17:36,067 --> 01:17:37,600 * You're looking good 1180 01:17:37,600 --> 01:17:41,133 * There's nothing wrong 1181 01:17:41,133 --> 01:17:45,133 * Well there's magic in the air 1182 01:17:47,233 --> 01:17:50,467 * Let's go to the fair 1183 01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:56,567 * There's magic in the air, oh yeah 1184 01:17:59,367 --> 01:18:03,367 * And all our friends are there 1185 01:18:08,300 --> 01:18:10,667 * Quickly now we've got to go 1186 01:18:10,667 --> 01:18:14,833 * To see a show I'll show you where 1187 01:18:16,067 --> 01:18:18,167 * Take my hand and watch your step 1188 01:18:18,167 --> 01:18:22,233 * There's muddy water over there 1189 01:18:23,533 --> 01:18:25,867 * We'll be there in just awhile 1190 01:18:25,867 --> 01:18:29,867 * So come on now, let's have some fun * 1191 01:18:29,867 --> 01:18:32,133 - Ah, the drinks. 1192 01:18:32,133 --> 01:18:34,567 We're in the garden by the swimming pool. 1193 01:18:34,567 --> 01:18:36,900 - Right, I'll bring it over. 1194 01:18:38,633 --> 01:18:42,700 * There's magic in the air 1195 01:18:42,700 --> 01:18:45,533 - Come this way, follow me please. 1196 01:18:49,867 --> 01:18:54,067 * There's magic in the air, oh yeah 1197 01:18:57,067 --> 01:19:00,967 * And all our love we'll share 1198 01:19:05,900 --> 01:19:08,800 * Magic in the air 1199 01:19:11,667 --> 01:19:14,567 * Magic in the air 1200 01:19:16,633 --> 01:19:19,567 * Magic in the air 1201 01:19:22,100 --> 01:19:26,267 * Magic in the air 1202 01:19:34,933 --> 01:19:37,533 - You didn't think you could lose us that easily. 1203 01:19:37,533 --> 01:19:39,733 We didn't want you to lose your liscense. 1204 01:19:39,733 --> 01:19:41,967 - Run girls, get him! 1205 01:19:41,967 --> 01:19:44,200 (shouting) 1206 01:19:47,367 --> 01:19:49,867 (manic music) 1207 01:22:44,600 --> 01:22:47,933 (shouting and laughing) 1208 01:23:07,067 --> 01:23:07,833 - Love-40 1209 01:23:09,833 --> 01:23:11,600 - You must be joking. 1210 01:23:15,267 --> 01:23:18,333 (din of pub patrons) 1211 01:23:21,400 --> 01:23:24,200 - Here we are sir, that's 12 p. 1212 01:23:24,200 --> 01:23:26,967 - [Voiceover] Thank you, my dear. 1213 01:23:28,300 --> 01:23:29,533 - Do you want another drink, Mummy? 1214 01:23:29,533 --> 01:23:31,067 - I never thought to see a daughter of mine 1215 01:23:31,067 --> 01:23:33,200 end up as a bar maid. 1216 01:23:33,200 --> 01:23:34,833 And fancy being left that lovely cottage 1217 01:23:34,833 --> 01:23:36,900 and expecting me to give it all up. 1218 01:23:36,900 --> 01:23:38,500 Where is Bob? 1219 01:23:38,500 --> 01:23:41,300 It's not fair leaving you to do everything for yourself. 1220 01:23:41,300 --> 01:23:43,467 I suppose he's running around somewhere. 1221 01:23:43,467 --> 01:23:44,733 - At this very minute he's up delivering 1222 01:23:44,733 --> 01:23:46,233 at the squire's house. 1223 01:23:46,233 --> 01:23:47,900 - Well, he might have waited to see me before he went off. 1224 01:23:47,900 --> 01:23:50,167 - Oh Mom, he's had such a lot on his hands, lately. 1225 01:23:50,167 --> 01:23:52,400 He'll probably come rushing in here at any moment. 1226 01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:56,333 - Well, I want to go, I don't feel happy in this place. 1227 01:23:56,333 --> 01:23:58,967 I hope Bob remembers that it's me and Aunt Emily 1228 01:23:58,967 --> 01:24:01,067 he has to thank for his situation, 1229 01:24:01,067 --> 01:24:02,900 it'd be nice to hear him say so. 1230 01:24:02,900 --> 01:24:05,633 (glass shatters) 1231 01:24:06,600 --> 01:24:09,367 (gasps of shock) 1232 01:24:13,167 --> 01:24:14,500 I don't believe. 1233 01:24:15,933 --> 01:24:19,133 - What the hell have you been up to? 1234 01:24:19,133 --> 01:24:20,667 - You know when I went up to 1235 01:24:20,667 --> 01:24:23,367 deliver the booze to Squire, I went round the swimming pool, 1236 01:24:23,367 --> 01:24:25,533 and what's she doing here? 1237 01:24:26,700 --> 01:24:29,333 - For God's sake, cover yourself. 1238 01:24:32,600 --> 01:24:35,267 (phone ringing) 1239 01:24:37,867 --> 01:24:39,800 - Well, I suppose I'd better answer it. 1240 01:24:39,800 --> 01:24:43,133 Nobody else around here seems to bother. 1241 01:24:44,567 --> 01:24:45,400 Hello? 1242 01:24:48,700 --> 01:24:50,533 It's the news agent's daughter. 1243 01:24:50,533 --> 01:24:51,867 She wants to know if you want to put it in 1244 01:24:51,867 --> 01:24:53,367 for another week. 1245 01:24:53,367 --> 01:24:54,633 - No, and you can tell her 1246 01:24:54,633 --> 01:24:58,600 I'm never gonna put it in ever again either. 1247 01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:00,900 * Take me on for awhile 1248 01:25:00,900 --> 01:25:03,300 * I'll soon be making you smile 1249 01:25:03,300 --> 01:25:05,867 * What's with all of you people 1250 01:25:05,867 --> 01:25:08,300 * Why don't you give it a try 1251 01:25:08,300 --> 01:25:10,600 * I'm sayin' that I've been around 1252 01:25:10,600 --> 01:25:12,967 * People keep puttin' me down 1253 01:25:12,967 --> 01:25:15,500 * But I've got nothin' to lose now 1254 01:25:15,500 --> 01:25:18,067 * I'm still working the town 1255 01:25:18,067 --> 01:25:20,333 * The ups and downs of a handyman 1256 01:25:20,333 --> 01:25:22,833 * Livin' my life the best I can 1257 01:25:22,833 --> 01:25:25,067 * Up and down all over town 1258 01:25:25,067 --> 01:25:29,233 * I can make you smile I can make you frown 1259 01:25:32,067 --> 01:25:34,233 * The ups and downs of a handyman 1260 01:25:34,233 --> 01:25:36,700 * Livin' my life the best I can 1261 01:25:36,700 --> 01:25:39,067 * Up and down all over town 1262 01:25:39,067 --> 01:25:43,233 * I can make you smile I can make you frown * 89248