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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:41,000 Good morning, New York City! 2 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:45,360 This is WBLS 107.5 with America's hottest stars. 3 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,640 With us in the studio this September morning, 4 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,840 we have America's heartthrob, Ranelle Spear. 5 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:55,360 That's you, buddy. Everyone's talking about your new hit, 6 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,360 Rather Be Lonely Than Loved By You. Ranelle, it's a super-hot track - 7 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,400 tell us about the inspiration behind it. 8 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:03,400 Uh... It's complicated, man. My heart was broken by a girl 9 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:06,200 who turned out to be nothing short of a complete nightmare. 10 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,240 You know how it is. 11 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:13,200 London? Did I come through or what? 12 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,600 You'll be in charge of these guys. Hm? 13 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,840 Five Together?! Seriously? 14 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,000 Don't look so upset, they're the biggest band in Europe. 15 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,320 Also, you're gonna have to deal with Grainger, 16 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:29,560 who is an asshole. Great in the sack, but an asshole. 17 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,600 OK, great. 18 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:35,280 Well, this is goodbye, then... Wait, before you go, 19 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:40,080 just have a look at this new promo shot for Ranelle's new single. 20 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:44,600 It's your last official act on the Ranelle Spear team. 21 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,520 What do you think? 22 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,800 All right, then. I guess that's why you wanted to leave New York, huh? 23 00:01:55,840 --> 00:01:57,920 Mm-hm. Artists, right? 24 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,840 Yeah. Artists. 25 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,040 Fly, my pretty. 26 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,080 You're gonna love it out there! 27 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,800 ♪ Stuck in a snow globe 28 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,680 ♪ Everything's upside down 29 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,960 ♪ And the snow's so thick, I can't see solid ground 30 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:28,920 ♪ Christmas is coming 31 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,640 ♪ So bring on the Christmas cheer 32 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:40,800 ♪ God knows there's not enough of it round here 33 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,400 ♪Counting the seconds down 34 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,760 ♪ Taking the only way out 35 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:54,360 ♪ Jingle bells can keep on ringing 36 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:58,040 ♪ Children gather round, keep singing 37 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:05,280 ♪ You're the only wish that's on my list 38 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:09,040 ♪ Little donkey, carry on playing 39 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,680 ♪ Santa Claus can keep on sleighing 40 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:21,680 ♪ You're the only wish that's on my list this Christmas ♪ 41 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,440 It's Christmas! 42 00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:36,200 An English-German Christmas and excitement levels are high... 43 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,160 Nina, don't eat too many - chocolates! - It's my first one! 44 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,480 Check out the tree! 45 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,400 All my own work, thank you very much! 46 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,760 Cards! Presents! 47 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,240 Brazil nuts...that no-one will eat. Ooh. 48 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,240 It's pink! How can it be pink? It's had seven hours. 49 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,840 Mum! Speak English. 50 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,400 I'm Vlogging. My followers don't speak German. 51 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,760 What followers? I have followers... 52 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,120 Uncle Blake. Kisses for this. 53 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,360 Where is he? He's supposed to be helping. 54 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,520 And here, hiding in the bushes, 55 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,880 we see the male in his natural habitat. 56 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,200 It is the height of mating season, and alas, he is alone, 57 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,440 for his plumage is not as colourful as the other males... 58 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:23,440 and also he is afraid of commitment. 59 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,720 Oh, no, I've forgotten your Christmas present. 60 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,920 Hang on, no, I haven't. 61 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,240 My God, that's so sweet of you, but I've already got one of those. 62 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,240 - Who was that? - It's no-one. 63 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,320 Ah! Nah, nah, nah, nah. No, no, no. 64 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:49,320 Whoa. Did you just dump someone on Christmas Day?! 65 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:53,560 No. Maybe. Yeah... 66 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,480 That is quite bad, isn't it? Yeah! Naughty list for you! 67 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,120 I mean, it wasn't serious. No, it never is, is it? 68 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,920 That's because all of my love is reserved for you. 69 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:07,240 Boop! Oh, I'm such a lucky girl! 70 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:10,080 Boop! Go on, then, turn the lights on. 71 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,800 You turn them on. No, you do it - it's tradition. 72 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,120 Besides you're a celebrity, you're in a pop band. 73 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,320 Celebrities turn on the lights. 74 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,840 First of all, I'm not a celebrity, and it is not a pop band. 75 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,880 Woo! 76 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:32,680 I hereby declare the garden Christmas lights are on. Woo. 77 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:42,480 Salmonella or not, we are eating - dinner now! - Joint selfie. 78 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:44,640 Uh... Ah. 79 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,080 That was last Christmas. It was brilliant. 80 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,920 I don't think the next one is going to be as much fun. 81 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,120 Here you go, boss. - I got you a large. - Good. 82 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:13,720 I can tell you're clearly gonna work out as my new assistant. 83 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,480 Thanks! Although... 84 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,680 ..Battle of the Bands? 85 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,560 Seriously? What were you thinking? 86 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,920 I haven't been out in London in three years. 87 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,120 So when I said I wanted you to take me out, 88 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,480 and take me to some new places, I meant nice places. 89 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:38,080 The last band are supposed to be pretty good. 90 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:40,120 Last band? 91 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,560 How many are there? Nine. 92 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:45,600 Jesus. 93 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,440 I'll get you another. 94 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,680 Thank you. 95 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,880 Ladies and gentleman, please welcome to the stage, it's Scurve! 96 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,920 Kandy, Kandy! 97 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,920 Kandy! What the f-Sorry. 98 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,280 Yeah, well done, arsehole! OK, it was an accident. 99 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,400 Blake! We are on! Oh! Ow! 100 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:19,240 Good evening, wankers! 101 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,040 We are Scurve! 102 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,360 ♪ Who's that crawling 'cross the floor? 103 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,120 ♪ Monsters of despair 104 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,560 ♪ Who's the vampire spitting blood? Babylon the Great 105 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,600 ♪ Find the power in the... 106 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,160 ♪ Twist the pencil in my nose 107 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,760 ♪ If I die, I'll live again... ♪ 108 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,840 This is horrible! Let's go and get a drink. 109 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,240 Ranelle has made me a laughing stock. 110 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:20,200 No... People are laughing, Sophie. 111 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:24,120 Yeah, but only... Not the nice ones. 112 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,400 There are no nice people in the music industry! 113 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,640 I'm nice. Yeah, for now. 114 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,680 Give it a few years. 115 00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,600 Maybe we should just go home? 116 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,640 Do you have a... 117 00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:38,720 a boyfriend, Sophie? 118 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:44,320 Yeah. Dale. He plays bass in a really cool indie... 119 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:48,160 -..band. - Bass player? Ugh, they're the worst. 120 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,600 You watch him. Dale's lovely... 121 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:55,280 Here's some advice. Don't...date...the talent. 122 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:59,320 That's a rule now. Don't...date...the... 123 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,880 ..say it, Sophie! Don't date the talent. 124 00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:07,520 - Yes! - Yes. Boys in bands are bastards. 125 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:10,920 Could I have another one of these... and whatever she's drinking. 126 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:20,760 Well... that was an absolute shower of shit. 127 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:24,360 Literally - all over us. Would you like a shit shower, sir? 128 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,400 Oh? Yes, I would. Do you have a towel? 129 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,160 Yes, I do. It's also made of shit. 130 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,120 Drums sounded good. Five years. 131 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,160 Five years I've given this outfit, 132 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,720 and we're still playing crappy venues for peanuts. 133 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,320 Battle of the Bands? - You booked it. - Oh... 134 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,920 Shut up, Mark. Do you know who I blame? 135 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,240 Everyone else? No, no, no. You. 136 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,280 You haven't written a good song in ages. 137 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,400 I mean, where's the new Yob Boy? Or... Or Crucifixation? 138 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,000 You've lost it. Official. 139 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,880 I know it's your band and everything, but... 140 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,960 if you can't write good songs, then what are you? 141 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,520 You're just a bass player. Look, anyone can fucking do that! 142 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,360 You can't. You know what, if you don't start pulling your fingers out, 143 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,560 I quit. I quit! 144 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,680 I mean, I'm the only reason why people come anyway. 145 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,920 Actually, I think your girlfriend's the only reason people come. 146 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,520 Kandy, I love you. Kandy, please let us get a photo. 147 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,720 Oi! Mate! Oi! Yeah, you! Let me buy you both a drink. 148 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,920 In a word... 149 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,720 why don't you piss off? 150 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:31,720 - Five words. - We're fine, thanks. I'm actually in a relationship. 151 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,080 No, you're not. No, no. I mean um... 152 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,960 because I spilt yours earlier. W-What happened to your lip? 153 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,480 You hit me...with your guitar... 154 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,040 in my face. Sorry. 155 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,760 Apart from that, uh... 156 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,120 what did you think...of the band? 157 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:57,440 OK, if you really want to know... 158 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,440 ..I thought...you were shit. 159 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:08,640 Right, well, that's just...that's your opinion, so... 160 00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:12,000 Ha. My opinion counts for quite a lot. 161 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:16,080 I happen to be a very big deal in the music business, 162 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,520 and I manage a chart-topping act. 163 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:21,080 I... 164 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:25,280 I...am a big fucking success! 165 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,200 Woo! 166 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:30,360 Big success. Thank you. 167 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,040 How old are you? 168 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,600 Still thinking it's gonna happen? The big dream? 169 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,960 It's not going to happen for you, sweetheart. Just accept it. 170 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,000 Boop! 171 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,360 Sophie, I think I'm going to throw up now. 172 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,360 Oh, hello. 173 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,600 Oh, no. 174 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,120 Uh... Sorry, I'm... 175 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,400 I'm a bit hazy. Uh... 176 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,560 Who are you? Did we um... 177 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,600 No. You were too drunk. 178 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,640 Oh, thank God! 179 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,800 No. I mean um... 180 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,680 I'm sure it would have been um... You seem uh... 181 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,600 Is that sick? Why is there sick here? 182 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,360 I don't know. OK. 183 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,440 So... 184 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:20,080 do you fancy doing it again...sometime? 185 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,360 Not really, no. 186 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,800 Fair enough. Good answer. 187 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,120 It really smells in here. You should open a window. 188 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,760 Great. 189 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,960 Shit! 190 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,360 -- Meghna Rai? - What? - Bobbie Purser, entertainment. The Sun. 191 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,840 Oh, yeah, hacked any phones lately? Yeah, yours. 192 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:03,360 So, what about you and Ranelle Spear, eh? 193 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,320 Oh, piss off. Come on. 194 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,840 What's your favourite album track, is it...is it Quicksand? 195 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,560 - Morning. - That guy tries to get in... 196 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,200 - kill him. - Will do. 197 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,480 Turn that off. 198 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,200 Somebody's tired. It's jet lag! 199 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:30,440 ..than loved by you-u-u... Ooh! 200 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,840 Than loved by... 201 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,520 Sorry. 202 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,560 Fair. 203 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:54,040 Well, Grainger wants to see everyone in his office. 204 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,240 When? 205 00:14:56,280 --> 00:15:00,200 Now. He's in quite a bad mood. 206 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:06,200 I'll get you a mocha. - You like a mocha. - Mm-hm. 207 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,520 Row, row, row your boat... 208 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,760 Gently down the stream... 209 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,920 Uh... 210 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,320 No, Lily, you're supposed to sing what I'm singing. 211 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,720 'Row, row, row your boat,' 212 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,680 remember? It's a...a round. 213 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,120 Around what? Cor, you smell funny! 214 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,840 Yeah, well, you look funny. 215 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,080 You can't say that! I'm in a wheelchair! 216 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,440 Right, um...no. Sorry. 217 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,720 Sucker! Yeah, all right. Very funny. 218 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,680 Play us one of your songs. 219 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:55,760 Ah, really? I don't think we should... 220 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,200 All right, all right. 221 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,480 It's like being mugged by munchkins. 222 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:08,160 ♪ Who's that crawling 'cross - the floor? - Monsters of despair! 223 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:12,080 ♪ Who's that vampire spitting blood? Babylon the Great! 224 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:17,840 ♪ If I die, I'll live again. Rising from the de-e-e-ep! ♪ 225 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:22,160 Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily... 226 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,280 Life is but a dream. 227 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,120 You are ten, right? 228 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,440 That's the end of the lesson, then. 229 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:37,560 Doesn't time fly? See you next week. 230 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,800 Bye, Mr Cutter. I shall count down the hours. 231 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,960 You have a real gift for this. 232 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,280 Honestly, I hate every moment. 233 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,920 I'm only doing it for the money... and because my sister made me. 234 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,240 How is Carrie? Interfering. 235 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,920 And Nina? She's um... 236 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,880 She's Nina. 237 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,560 Maximum pleasure. I love Five Together! 238 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,520 They are my absolute favourite boy band ever. 239 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,400 But who are they, you say? Well, let me explain. 240 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:16,720 This is Nina's 100% guide to the world's greatest boy band - 241 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,680 Five... Together! 242 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,480 Marcus - intense, street. 243 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:24,280 Voice of an angel. Woo! 244 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:28,000 Jarel - dancer, rapper, dreamboat. 245 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,000 Just look at those eyes. 246 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,040 D-Wayne - tall. 247 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,560 Also rapping...bit bland. There's always one, isn't there? 248 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,760 What the F...lex. It's Flex - 249 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,320 cute, shy, tattooed - 250 00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,320 so many tattoos. 251 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:46,000 Dancing - sometimes, with his shirt off... 252 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:49,360 Hi, Nina. Would you like to go to Nando's with me? 253 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,760 Let me check my diary, Flex. 254 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,800 Yes, I will! 255 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,360 And finally, K to the E to the V to the I to the N... 256 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:01,480 Kevin - least good name, but best first frontman. 257 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,720 Sensitive, soulful... and quite short. 258 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,960 Aww. I could put him in my pocket. 259 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,680 I would like to go in your pocket, Nina. 260 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,240 Kevin, shh. What would Flex say? 261 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:15,720 Nina, love, it's time to go. 262 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,920 OK. Anyway, fun fact - 263 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:24,800 Five Together are managed by a woman, which is why they're so good. 264 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:30,000 I'd love to be her. Her life must be so cool. 265 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,840 Get out, Stuart! Bugger off! 266 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:50,880 Go on, crawl. 267 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,600 And keep crawling all the way out of the building and take your rotten signings with you. 268 00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,520 Hey, Meg. Don't mind Stuart, he's just leaving. 269 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,520 Meg Rai, everyone. Back from across - the seas to save us. - Hi. 270 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:07,320 Someone who understands how this business actually works, 271 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,680 which is why Meg is now in charge of Five Together, 272 00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,400 who, God bless their shiny little faces, 273 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:19,040 are the only UK act keeping Mr Wolf from our very expensive front door. 274 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,880 Or at least they were. Why does she get Five Together? 275 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,320 What happened to Steve? Steve's gone. Steve's dead. 276 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:30,400 Nobody mention Steve again. Steve thought it would be a good idea 277 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,640 to let one of the boys in the band write half the songs on the new album. 278 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:37,360 - Oh, yeah, Kevin. - Yeah. Yeah, I saw those numbers. 279 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,880 They're not tracking too well. Don't try to polish it, Meg. 280 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:43,640 - It's a turd. You can't. - Yeah, maybe you should try sleeping with Kevin? 281 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,920 Then, he might write better tunes. 282 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:49,520 Excuse me? Worked for Ranelle Spear. 283 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,880 You know what? You're both sacked too! 284 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,840 What? Get out. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 285 00:19:55,880 --> 00:20:00,640 No, you don't have to crawl. Stuart crawls! You two can hop. 286 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,160 Like little rabbits! Go on, hop! Go on! 287 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,680 Sorry about that. That was uncalled for. 288 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,680 Would it work, though, you sleeping with the singer? 289 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,320 That is not a serious question, - is it? - No. Maybe. 290 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:18,480 No. You know what they're calling us? Cock-it-up-smiths. 291 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,240 I'd be laughing if I wasn't constantly trying 292 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,360 to talk my accountant down off -- a ledge. - It's that bad? - Worse. 293 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,400 You know how it works. I like the boys. Chris and uh... 294 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,680 Kevin. Kevin and the others. 295 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:35,160 But if we can't turn it around, they're gone. 296 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,240 It's panto, Celebrity Big Brother and rehab for them. 297 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,480 And if they're gone, then so are you. 298 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,400 I just got here. 299 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,400 So you have to turn it around. OK. 300 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:47,280 How? Glad you asked. 301 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,480 A Christmas song. 302 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:54,160 A big, stonking Yuletide number one. 303 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:55,960 - Yeah? - I don't get it. 304 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,480 A Christmas number one! 305 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,640 Really? Is that even a thing any more? 306 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,840 Yes. Look, Five Together are our only cash cow. 307 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:09,640 And I intend to squeeze every drop of money 308 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:13,000 out of their tightly honed little udders 309 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,080 before I send them to knacker's yard. 310 00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,520 I will not be poor, Meg, I will not. 311 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:22,080 A Christmas song - a number one. 312 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,600 October is looming. So, you've got a month 313 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,560 to find something fabulous and get it recorded. 314 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:30,640 Hey, no pressure, 315 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:32,880 but I will sack you if you fail. 316 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,840 I-I just feel like one of those mime artists, 317 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,560 who do that thing where they walk into the wind. 318 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:47,120 Except the wind is real. 319 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:53,360 And I'm walking and I'm walking, and I'm not getting anywhere. 320 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,560 And no-one's putting money in my hat. 321 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,880 The band's going nowhere. 322 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,120 I'm never gonna make it. 323 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,720 It's too late for me... 324 00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,160 You're only 34. 325 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,560 Exactly, too late. 326 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,480 Well, I think I may have said this before... 327 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,520 No, I definitely have. 328 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,960 If it's making you unhappy... 329 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,240 Quit...the...band. 330 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,720 Ow! I've got a hangover! There's a surprise. 331 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,960 Fine. Say I do quit the band. What then? 332 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:32,040 Figure it out, I guess. You're the adult...allegedly. 333 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,240 Don't get me wrong. I love the music. 334 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,200 - Because you're weird. - Extreme metal is a valid musical art form. 335 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:42,760 - For weirdos. - I can write - other songs... I have been. - And? 336 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:47,720 ..in Satan's garden. 337 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,440 No. What? 338 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,240 I don't know why I'm talking to you about this. 339 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,640 You don't know anything about music. You're half-German. 340 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,680 Beethoven? Mm. 341 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,200 Kraftwerk? Hmm. 342 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,280 Er... You've run out, haven't you? 343 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,960 Shut up. At least the bands I like are successful 344 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,840 and make people happy. What, like Five Together? 345 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,000 Wow, so mature. 346 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:22,440 - Well, I am only 34. - Anyway, you have to talk to me because I've decided 347 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:26,480 - you are my new project. - And what if I don't want to be your project? 348 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:29,080 I'm afraid that's not up to you. Why not? 349 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,520 Sorry to interrupt - medicine time. 350 00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:34,440 Why do you think, doofoid? 351 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,400 No. And your first task as my new project... 352 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,520 is to write a song... 353 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,240 ..for me. 354 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,200 OK. Go on, then. Crack on. 355 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:18,280 They're saying it got worse. 356 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,480 They're going to try some different treatments. 357 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,360 Right. OK, well...that's good. 358 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,200 That's good, right? 359 00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,840 There must be something they... They're saying it's months, 360 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,880 maybe weeks. 361 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,200 She might not even make it till Christmas. 362 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:00,800 Oh, God, here he is. Late again. 363 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,920 We've been rehearsing for, like, two hours, man... 364 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,880 Christ, Blake, you look like my Uncle Gunther 365 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,960 when I found him four days after he died. 366 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:13,240 - Ugh. - Yeah, for sure. I mean, the cats had been at his face. 367 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,200 It was not good. That is what you look like. 368 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,680 You all right, mate? This is called God Killer. 369 00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,640 ♪ God killer! God killer! 370 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:27,680 ♪ How can you destroy the young and crush their precious toys? 371 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:31,400 ♪ God killer! God killer! 372 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:35,320 ♪ I hate you for the way that you burn everything I love 373 00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,160 ♪ Enough 374 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,600 ♪ Persecution...pointless death! ♪ 375 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,720 ♪ Yeah, oh, God killer ♪ 376 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,520 - So, what do you think? - Can you please not do that again? There are sick children on this ward. 377 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,800 Sorry. I was just playing Nina - her song. - It was horrible. 378 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,160 THAT was my song? Well, yeah. 379 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:04,480 Oh.24 Scurve fans in Denmark gave it the thumbs up. 380 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,680 Did you like it? Not really. 381 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,720 Was it supposed to cheer me up? Because it didn't. 382 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,760 - How could it? It was awful. - I mean, it's not Ranelle Spear, is it? 383 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,440 - I like him. - I thought - it was pretty lit. - Thanks, mate. 384 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:21,800 Bit derivative, though. Kind of early Slayer. 385 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,000 Yeah, all right. Arsehole. 386 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,640 I thought you were going to write - different songs. - I know, but... 387 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,560 'Oh, Nina, I wish I could challenge myself musically more.' 388 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,560 'Oh, Nina, I've have much more to give as a songwriter.' 389 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,080 'Oh, Nina.' I don't sound like that. 390 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,640 - Do I? - Yeah. I am... 391 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:43,800 writing different songs, but the band - doesn't want to...do them. - So what? 392 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:45,960 What do you want to do? 393 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:50,040 Look, I want to be a vet, but I don't think that's going to happen. 394 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,600 So, whatever it is, you need to get on with it. 395 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,600 I know. I will. 396 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,360 Good. So write me a nice song, you twat. 397 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,680 All right! You gonna let her talk to me like that? 398 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,720 Yes. You are a bit of a twat. 399 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,920 OK. Uh... Fine. 400 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,960 What do you want the song to be about? 401 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,200 Uh... Unicorns? 402 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,000 Ow! OK. Not unicorns. What, then? 403 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:20,880 Write me a Christmas song. 404 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,360 Really? Yeah. 405 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,520 OK. 406 00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,560 Deal. 407 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,720 It's on its way, it's nearly here. 408 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,440 That very special time of the year - 409 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,320 it's C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S... 410 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,040 Christmas! Nope. 411 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:59,680 Everybody's dancing at the Christmas party! 412 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,040 No. 413 00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:03,720 It's a reggae, reggae Christmas! 414 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,480 Rice and peace. Rice and peace! 415 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,560 Is he joking? Is that a joke? ..with my papa's jerk turkey. 416 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,120 Oh, Lord! No, no, no, no, no! 417 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:20,320 We can build a snowman out of lo-o-o-ove... 418 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,440 No. We can't. 419 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,920 If you shake those, I'm gonna shove 'em right up your -OK, then! 420 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,360 Thank you so much for coming, great stuff, just great stuff. 421 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,960 But I didn't get a chance to play you my song. 422 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:36,000 No, no, I know, love, but I have this really good feeling... 423 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,480 We'll be in touch, thank you. 424 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,560 Hey. You could always ask Ranelle. 425 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,600 He might have a song for us. 426 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,680 - No. - I'll bet you've still got his number, though, haven't ya? 427 00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:53,640 You really are an arsehole, aren't you? 428 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,920 Yes, I'm an arsehole... 429 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:58,200 who pays your wages. 430 00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:01,880 At least I do at the minute. So uh...tick-tock. 431 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,240 It should be me at the front, surely. 432 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:15,440 Together! Guys, we've got a whole calendar to shoot, 433 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,880 we've only done December - - can we please get a move on! - Meg. 434 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,520 New girl. Talk to me. What's happening? 435 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,320 Are Cocksmiths gonna drop us? What? No. Flex... 436 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,240 will you stop doing push-ups! 437 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:29,040 Don't bullshit me, Meg. We really need to get a move on. - We're only booked till six. - I know! 438 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,120 Jesus. One hit album and look at them. 439 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,800 I should have stayed in New York. 440 00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:36,840 I'm not wearing this...or this... Show me. 441 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,840 ..or this. Look, we're not idiots. 442 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,720 We know the new album's - not selling well. - That's not true. 443 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:43,840 It's doing well in Belgium. What's Belgium? 444 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,160 They're going to drop us, aren't they? 445 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,520 Flex, what are you doing? Showing Sophie my tattoos. 446 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,040 Check out my latest one. Flex! 447 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,200 Idiot! - That must've stung. - Right! 448 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:04,480 Will everyone just shut up, 449 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:06,480 and stand in front of the photographer 450 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,720 for two minutes, please? 451 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:15,000 Meg, why am I dressed as an elf and Marcus is Santa? Cos it... 452 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,520 looks like he's more important. Which he's obviously not... 453 00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:19,720 I'm not gonna take this. 454 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:29,720 Also, where's our Christmas song? 455 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,040 I'm working on it. 456 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,280 Because I could write the arse off that. 457 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:37,680 The thing is...some people, not me, 458 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,640 thought the songs on the last album were a little... 459 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,760 Those songs were hits. 460 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,280 The producer just... produced them wrong! 461 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,240 Maybe. Maybe. 462 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,480 Um... I just... I need to go out for a think. 463 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,200 Please, Meg, just give me a chance. 464 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,760 I'll nail that song. I'll nail it to the cross! 465 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,800 Hey, babe. 466 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,840 Ranelle? 467 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,280 What are you doing here? 468 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,440 Yeah, I know - awkward, right? 469 00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:14,720 PR tour for the album. 470 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:18,040 God, man, Brits, they just...they love themself a piece of Ranelle. 471 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,600 Hey, you going up? Going down. 472 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,280 Now, that sounds good. Wow. 473 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,160 Old times' sake. 474 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,040 You know, I could just press the emergency stop button. 475 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:37,360 Do you actually think I'm gonna have sex with you, in this lift, now? 476 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,640 I mean, yeah. 477 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,360 Maybe she can get involved too. 478 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:46,680 What is wrong with you and your penis? 479 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:52,040 I'm sorry, you do realise his latest album was all about our relationship? 480 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,520 Yeah, he called it It's Not Me, It's You. 481 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,960 Babe, I am an artist, OK? 482 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,000 I have to draw on my reality. 483 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:00,920 Track one - Lose That Girl. 484 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,520 Track two - Got To Be Free. 485 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:06,040 Track three - I Wish She Didn't Love Me So Much. 486 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,760 Track four - Rather Be Lonely Than Loved By You. 487 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,000 Track five - Quicksand. 488 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:16,000 Quicksand. 489 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,360 God, I love that track! It's bullshit. 490 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:20,880 The way I remember it, IE the facts, 491 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,720 is that you said you loved me while sleeping with as many women 492 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,000 as you possibly could. 493 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:29,440 Look at it this way, I have immortalised you. 494 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,760 And now, you will go on to live forever 495 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,600 through my music. Oh, it's interesting. 496 00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,600 Your music doesn't cover you breaking up with me by text 497 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,120 while screwing my best friend. 498 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,800 I notice you didn't write a song about that. 499 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,600 Why were you such a dick to me? 500 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,760 Can I refer you to the bonus live track on the deluxe edition - 501 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,800 Ordinary Sex. 502 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:58,880 Oh, I can't believe I'm doing this... 503 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:04,000 I don't suppose you've written any Christmas... 504 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,960 Really?! 505 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:11,800 A...Christmas... 506 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,840 song. 507 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,080 So, what makes a great Christmas pop song? 508 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,280 Having some time on my hands, I've been doing some research. 509 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:27,040 Did you know that we reached 'peak Christmas song' in the 1970s, 510 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:31,120 and there have been fewer Christmas hits every decade since then? 511 00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:35,080 What's wrong with people? Why aren't the jingle bells rocking? 512 00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,560 Isn't Santa Claus coming to town? Don't they know it's Christmas? 513 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,680 Come on, everyone. It's not that hard. 514 00:34:40,720 --> 00:34:43,400 This is what you need to make a perfect Christmas pop song. 515 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,400 One - snow, obviously! 516 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,440 Snow is falling on my head... 517 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:52,440 I should have worn a... 518 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,560 ..hat? 519 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,840 Two - Santa...or Jesus. 520 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,720 But never both, that's just confusing. 521 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:07,640 Hey, Santa! What's going on? 522 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:13,280 Three - the word 'Christmas' somewhere in the lyrics. 523 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,320 This is a dealbreaker. 524 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:19,320 Otherwise, it's just a song and not a Christmas song. Duh! 525 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:26,520 Four! 526 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,520 Hope...for love. Hope for peace. 527 00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:31,560 Hope for the future... 528 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,000 I'm the candy-coloured pixie with my happy pixie sleigh! 529 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:41,200 Funf, funf, funf! Finally, a bittersweet quality, 530 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:45,840 evoking a wistfulness for happier times, 531 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,480 the innocence of Christmases past. 532 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,240 Bittersweet. 533 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,320 Sweet. 534 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:58,880 Five things, of which you need at least four 535 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:02,400 to make your Christmas song a hit. Let's put it to the test. 536 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:04,480 Favourite Christmas song? 537 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,280 Ooh... Last Christmas? Good! 538 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,200 Use of word the 'Christmas'. Hope for love... 539 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:14,320 massively bittersweet, and snow - well, snow in the video. 540 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,520 I Wish It Could Be Christmas - Every Day. - Wizzard. Full house. 541 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:26,240 and bonus - children's cho-o-o-oir. Classic. 542 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,880 Um... Christmas Night Of The Zombies by MXPX. 543 00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,960 OK...don't know that one. Oh, it's really cool. 544 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:35,560 It mentions Christmas. There's snow, although it is covered in blood. 545 00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:39,360 Also a bittersweet quality, harking back to a time before the zombies. 546 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,680 - And hope? - Yeah. 547 00:36:41,720 --> 00:36:44,000 Hope you don't get - killed by the zombies. - Great. 548 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:48,560 There you have it. You don't need two drunk tramps in New York having a row... 549 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:51,640 ..just these five things, and you'll soon have everyone 550 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,600 a-rocking around the Christmas tree. So what are you waiting for? 551 00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,640 Christmas? 552 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:25,960 Well? 553 00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:32,240 That's more like it. 554 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:35,920 Are you sure it's not too... It's beautiful. 555 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,240 And four of the five things. 556 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,520 Five things? Better not be any swearing in it. 557 00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,360 I'm glad you like it. 558 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,360 Yeah. 559 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:12,080 Please tell me this is a good one. Who are they, and where are they? 560 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:15,920 What do you mean, 'is it good?' Surely you've heard it? 561 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,240 Course I haven't heard it. Why do you think I'm here? 562 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:22,000 You emailed me. You said you found a brilliant song. 563 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,000 No, you emailed me. What?! 564 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:26,720 Huh? 565 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,440 Um... 566 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,440 ♪ Looking out my window 567 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,600 ♪ What do I see? 568 00:38:44,240 --> 00:38:45,960 ♪ Miserable people 569 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,840 ♪ Staring at me... 570 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,920 ♪ Just look at all the vagrants 571 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,040 ♪ They made my heart bleed 572 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,600 ♪ So I give money to the homeless 573 00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:02,280 ♪ So I can still sleep 574 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:08,120 ♪ But one day, things will be different 575 00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,600 ♪ But until that time 576 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,360 ♪ We pray for a miracle 577 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,120 ♪ A Christmas miracle 578 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:23,600 ♪ Give succour to the feeble, feed the hungry people 579 00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,880 ♪ Behold a miracle 580 00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,840 ♪ A Christmas miracle 581 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,920 ♪ We just need to believe Yes, yes. So look at my garms 582 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:38,200 ♪ I ain't dressed like no peasant Whoa. 583 00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:40,000 ♪ I'm killing it, I'm smart 584 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:44,800 ♪ Your greatest Christmas present, I represent the miracle you desire 585 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:47,640 ♪ More swagger than Santa, and more admired 586 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:49,680 ♪ I won't be twisting up the truth 587 00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:52,240 ♪ I won't give you no reason to doubt me 588 00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,200 ♪ Yes, I'll spice up your season 589 00:39:54,240 --> 00:39:57,360 ♪ You know I paid my dues, I'll say that in my defence 590 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,600 ♪ Let me shower you with gold, leave out the frankincense ♪ 591 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,120 No! Do it like we practised! Kevin, mate. 592 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:06,520 The rap's the best bit. - Right, D? - Preach. 593 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:10,520 Can we uh...just um... Chris... 594 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:13,200 Also, for the music video, we were - thinking -Chris. - Who's Chris? 595 00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:15,240 Stop talking. 596 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:18,200 Meg? A word. 597 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:32,800 What the holy - Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. 598 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,400 I think Kevin ambushed us. Zip! This ship's going down, Meg, 599 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,200 and the water, full of sharks! 600 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:43,080 I'm all right, I've got a helicopter with Bono. 601 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,160 But you? You're gonna get torn to pieces. 602 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,080 Killed it. 603 00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:52,320 Find me a song, get it out there. You've got two weeks, love. 604 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:56,640 I saw that! 605 00:41:12,040 --> 00:41:14,040 No. 606 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,040 Sorry, watching YouTube. 607 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,280 We don't pay you to work this late, Sophie. 608 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,640 You don't pay me at all. I'm an intern. 609 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,640 Just go home. OK, but... 610 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,920 there's a girl who's made a vlog 611 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,720 about what makes a great Christmas song. 612 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,920 It's very funny. I'm not in a laughing mood. 613 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,280 She's also posted a... a pretty good original song. 614 00:41:45,320 --> 00:41:47,360 It's by her uncle. 615 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,400 It is brilliant... 616 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,440 although, he can be a dick sometimes. 617 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,920 Plus, he really needs a girlfriend. 618 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,800 So, if there's anyone out there... check this out. 619 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,280 Yes! Bang! Good! 620 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:27,520 Excellent! Finally! 621 00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:31,760 Did the kid compose it? Because we could probably screw her on rights. 622 00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:34,800 No, her uncle. Ah, who is he? 623 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,160 - No idea. - Then what are you still doing here, talking to me? 624 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,400 We need that song. Go find him now! 625 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,720 Hey! And don't sleep with him... unless you have to. 626 00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:50,920 Hurry up, then, innit! 627 00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,000 Taste the metal in my mouth... 628 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,360 Hello! 629 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,840 Love, love. We're in the middle of a rehearsal here, yeah? 630 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,520 Yeah, sorry, I'm uh... I'm looking -I know you. 631 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:23,920 Hmm... No, I-I don't think so. Yeah... 632 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,320 I hit you in the face, you...crushed my soul, 633 00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,960 pissed on my dreams and vomited on my shoes. 634 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,520 It was a Wednesday, I think. 635 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,520 Battle of the Bands? Oh, God. 636 00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:39,440 Hey, good to see you. 637 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,400 How are you? Still a big success? 638 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:45,400 Did you get the sick - out of your hair? - Yes, I did. 639 00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,600 Thank you for asking. 640 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,480 Obviously got the wrong room. 641 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:53,600 - Mm-hm. - Do carry on with uh...whatever that was. 642 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,480 Right, one, two... I...um... 643 00:43:58,520 --> 00:44:01,680 I don't suppose any of you know - a Blake Cutter, do you? - Yep. 644 00:44:03,240 --> 00:44:05,240 That's me. Hilarious. 645 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,640 Seriously, I'm in a bit of a rush. 646 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:09,680 Do any of you know Blake Cutter? 647 00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:14,840 O...K! 648 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:19,880 Fabulous! I mean, it's great to meet you, finally, Mr Cutter. 649 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:21,920 May I call you Blake? 650 00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:27,840 Look, I...I work for Cocksmiths Management, and we're... 651 00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:30,000 very, very excited about your song. 652 00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:34,240 God Killer? Right. Well, yes, I'm Ryan. I am...oop... 653 00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:37,200 the...very much the lead singer. What's God Killer? 654 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:39,600 That sounds horrible. No. 655 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:41,800 I'm talking about your Christmas song. 656 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,560 Aw, you wrote a Christmas song? Why? 657 00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:47,960 How do you know about that? Your niece posted it online. 658 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:51,080 It really is very good. You know... 659 00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:53,400 not like all this thrashy stuff. 660 00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:55,960 Thrashy stuff?! Anyway. 661 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000 Great news! 662 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,080 Five Together want to record your song! 663 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:04,440 Five Together! 664 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,640 Yeah, I know. It's um... It's amazing, right? 665 00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,800 Um... What do you think? Well. 666 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:13,920 I...I mean, it's a lot to take in. I know, it's exciting. 667 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,760 And you came all the way down here to ask me? 668 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:20,320 Yes, yes, of course I did - I tracked you down! 669 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,760 Like a little terrier. Ruff! Yes! 670 00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:25,680 No, I-I mean... Christmas is coming, 671 00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:28,680 and you know, my job's riding on it. - Is it? - Little bit. 672 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,960 Not interested. One, two, three, four! 673 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:47,360 Look, I know we haven't gotten off to the best of starts, 674 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,720 but could you please hear me out? This is a major recording act 675 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:54,080 we're talking about who really want to do your song justice. 676 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,840 Five Together are shit. 677 00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:00,640 Aye. Fair enough. 678 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:04,280 Maybe you could park your hatred of the band for just one moment... 679 00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,720 I also hate the venal, soulless, dead-eyed, 680 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,560 corporate world they represent, which means you. 681 00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:13,520 Right. OK, but maybe we could park that too. 682 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:17,360 You do understand that we're talking about a serious amount of money? 683 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,680 I don't care about the money. That was a personal song for Nina, 684 00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:23,400 and I won't have it pissed all over by a bunch of Brit-school, 685 00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:27,200 talent-show song-puppets and their corporate shill-handler. 686 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,880 Hey! You don't know anything about me! 687 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,840 Good. Let's keep it that way. 688 00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:35,880 Van. 689 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,040 What?! 690 00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,720 It is brilliant, although he can be a dick sometimes. 691 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,400 Plus he really needs a girlfriend. 692 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:55,440 Yeah, good luck with that. 693 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:58,960 So, if there's anyone out there... check this out. 694 00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,840 Hm. 695 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:10,600 Hmm. 696 00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:19,920 ♪ Maximum pleasure, and see the love in me 697 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,680 ♪ Back off the pressure, and feel the energy 698 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:28,360 ♪ Moments to treasure - let's make some memories 699 00:47:28,400 --> 00:47:31,840 ♪ You're not gonna make it alone ♪ 700 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:36,440 What the shit?! Blake! Oh, my God, what did you do?! 701 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,920 Thank you! Oi, you! 702 00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:42,240 Why didn't you tell me Five Together want to record your song? 703 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:46,240 Well, I...was going to...obviously. 704 00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,040 But it looks like somebody beat me to it. 705 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,920 Please make them stop singing. I have a life-threatening condition. 706 00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:57,120 Can I have a word with you...outside? 707 00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:58,800 Yeah, sure. 708 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:00,840 Good job. 709 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,760 Unbelievable! Of all the disgusting, 710 00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:10,120 slimy, underhand things to do - 711 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:13,760 using a sick girl to get a song for your crappy band! 712 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,400 I mean, you are... Argh! 713 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:20,240 OK, I haven't got the time for you to find the right adjective. 714 00:48:20,280 --> 00:48:23,840 I need the song. And Nina's a massive Five Together fan. 715 00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:27,160 I mean, you should be thanking me. I'm making you look good. 716 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,200 Look how happy she is. 717 00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:32,320 You don't care about her. That would involve you having a heart, 718 00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:36,600 instead of a um... a shrivelled-up husk of... 719 00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,200 ..diseased muscle that can only beat when it makes money 720 00:48:40,240 --> 00:48:43,240 or exploits children... which is what you have! 721 00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,160 I'm having that song. Never gonna happen. 722 00:48:55,160 --> 00:48:58,400 There he is, my uncle...the genius. 723 00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:00,440 Look, um... 724 00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,240 Sorry, could we... could we get a little room? 725 00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:14,280 You don't really want these guys to record the song, do you? 726 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:18,240 I mean, it was just for you - sort of...personal. 727 00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:21,200 Yes, and now Five Together want to record it! 728 00:49:21,240 --> 00:49:23,960 Yeah...but...but is it... 729 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,800 is it a Five Together song? 730 00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:28,840 It is now. Besides... 731 00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:32,160 you wrote it for me, so technically, it's mine. 732 00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:35,160 Yeah... And anyway, you said you wanted to write different songs - 733 00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:39,200 now you have the biggest band in the country wants to record one of them. 734 00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:42,040 What's wrong with you? Are you an idiot? 735 00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,960 Fine. 736 00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:49,880 You can have the song. 737 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,760 Yes... Yeah! Thank you. 738 00:49:52,800 --> 00:49:56,280 No, I mean, thank you. But I have one proviso. 739 00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,120 What's a proviso? 740 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,200 All the money goes to a cancer charity. 741 00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:04,680 - I'm sorry, excuse me? - What's that? No disrespect - that's ridiculous. 742 00:50:04,720 --> 00:50:07,400 Cancer? Sure. 743 00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:11,240 Good. I also have one proviso. 744 00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,520 O...K. 745 00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,440 My uncle gets to produce the record. 746 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,600 Well, I mean... Yeah, I'm not sure... 747 00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,520 I've got terminal cancer. 748 00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:27,880 Sure, no problem. - Yeah. - OK! 749 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:31,760 Good. So, we start on Monday. Will you be at the recordings? 750 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:34,320 Mm-hm. I will be - why? No reason. 751 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,120 Whatever way we look at it, 752 00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:44,760 we're gonna need to get something that's gonna keep us afloat. 753 00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:47,840 It's a serious situation, Grainger. We're going to need more money. 754 00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,800 Yes, I'm aware that we need a cash injection! 755 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,840 There must be something you can do! 756 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,040 'I've given you every idea!' You're the accountant! 757 00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:58,320 'I know that, I'm trying to help. You do have a huge chateau in France.'No. 758 00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:01,640 I'm not selling the house in France. 'OK, listen...' 759 00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,360 And that yacht has sentimental value!'Yes, OK.' 760 00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,160 Bono gave me that yacht!'Yes, OK, listen. Let me see -' 761 00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,920 Hang on a minute.'Let me see if there's some more loopholes.' 762 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,080 What? It's ours. 763 00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,120 You got it? 'Yep!' 764 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:19,560 Brilliant, Meg.'But he wants all the money to go to charity.' 765 00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:22,280 He wants all the money to go to charity? 766 00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:25,560 Hang on a minute. 767 00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:27,800 'Grainger?' 768 00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:31,040 'Grainger.' 769 00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,440 Sure, no problem, love. 770 00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,560 Whatever it takes. 'I heard that!' 771 00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:38,200 All right.'I heard that. Grainger, I heard that! I did! 772 00:51:38,240 --> 00:51:41,560 I heard it! If it goes to charity, we're all doomed!'Don't panic. 773 00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:43,200 'Grainger...' 774 00:51:43,240 --> 00:51:47,680 You're seriously choosing Five Together over Scurve? 775 00:51:47,720 --> 00:51:52,960 Our tour starts in two days! Yeah. You sell us up the river, 776 00:51:53,000 --> 00:51:57,040 I think, hmm? Why don't you just bend over and let the Man 777 00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,880 give it to you with his big corporate money schlong! 778 00:51:59,920 --> 00:52:02,600 OK, well, thanks for being so understanding. 779 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:06,800 Guys, he's doing it for Nina. Is he, Mark? Is he? 780 00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,960 Or does he just wanna... Ooh! Go hang out with Simon Cowell? 781 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,920 Go water-skiing on Necker Island with bloody... 782 00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:15,920 ..Dua Lipo? 783 00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,200 Like you said... anyone can play the bass. 784 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:24,320 Not like you. Oh, don't cry, Mark. 785 00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,640 Don't cry, mate. Don't worry, we'll find someone. 786 00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,800 We'll find someone who's committed. Not like Mr Sellout over here. 787 00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,800 Whatever. Enjoy the tour. 788 00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,400 Thank you. Yeah, we will, mate! 789 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,960 It'll be the best bloody tour yet cos you're not in it! 790 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:41,160 All right, and when you're done with all your little jingly bells, yeah, 791 00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,200 don't bother coming back! 792 00:52:43,240 --> 00:52:45,240 Bass players, man! Yeah. 793 00:52:45,280 --> 00:52:47,280 Don't think I will. 794 00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:53,840 Maximum pleasure. What's that sound? 795 00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:57,280 Only my uncle's brilliant Christmas song being recorded! Exciting! 796 00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,480 What say we check out the studio and meet the players? 797 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:03,360 Best boy band in the world - check. 798 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:06,640 Hello... 799 00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:11,680 Nina! 800 00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:16,120 Nice! Oh, my God! Actual gold discs! And knobs. 801 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,160 Lady who knows what the knobs do. 802 00:53:18,200 --> 00:53:20,600 It's Michaela. Michaela! 803 00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,240 This arrangement is all wrong. It needs to be simple. 804 00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,720 No, Five Together are an urban act... These two... 805 00:53:26,760 --> 00:53:30,120 bickering like an old married couple. Creative tension! 806 00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,480 Dare I say chemistry? - Are you gonna film everything? - Yes. 807 00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:34,920 Flex, do your abs again! 808 00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:38,160 OK, that is inappropriate! 809 00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:42,040 Come on, just sit down. 810 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,080 You're going to knacker yourself out. 811 00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,320 Right, do you want a drink or something? 812 00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:51,280 Are you warm enough? I'm fine. Stop fussing. 813 00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,480 He's so caring. 814 00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:01,600 Single too. Yeah, all right, that's enough about me. At least eat something... 815 00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,560 Mi mi mi mi mi mi... 816 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:06,920 Christmas lights... 817 00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,720 What's that? He's just warming up. 818 00:54:10,680 --> 00:54:12,760 As long as he doesn't sing the song that way. 819 00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:21,240 Christmas lights, Christmas morning. 820 00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:25,520 Unique snowflakes slowly falling... 821 00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:28,840 Uh... Marcus? What? I've just started. 822 00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:31,200 Yeah, I'm uh... 823 00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,520 I'm not sure I wrote quite so many notes in the... 824 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,920 the first four words. This is better. 825 00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,200 What I'm doing's better. It's great, Marcus. 826 00:54:40,240 --> 00:54:44,120 Thanks, sweetheart. Uh... Could we just try it simpler... 827 00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,280 you know, as written? 828 00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:51,480 Absolutely! You're the producer. 829 00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:58,120 Christmas lights, Christmas morning. 830 00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:01,640 Welcome to my world. 831 00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:07,520 ..falling... 832 00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:11,080 No. 833 00:55:13,040 --> 00:55:14,720 No, no, no, no, no, no. Huh? 834 00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:17,600 ..mas lights. No, no, no. 835 00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:29,920 I don't want to go. 836 00:55:29,960 --> 00:55:32,000 You mustn't tire yourself out. 837 00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,160 Why not? 838 00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,720 Well...what was...all that... 839 00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:46,440 ..incredibly unsubtle matchmaking earlier? 840 00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,560 I have no idea what you're talking about. 841 00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:54,120 Because that is not a thing that's happening. 842 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:57,440 She's really nice. 843 00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,360 Hmm, is she? 844 00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,840 Yeah! She's pretty, she's successful... 845 00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:05,560 I bet she's well rich. 846 00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:11,720 Are you intimidated by powerful women? 847 00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,320 Can we just drop it? Come on. 848 00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:17,400 I bet you like her a little bit, don't you? 849 00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,440 I know you do. 850 00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,480 Honestly... 851 00:56:21,520 --> 00:56:23,640 I'd rather eat broken glass. 852 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:27,240 I'd rather listen to Five Together's debut album 853 00:56:27,280 --> 00:56:29,400 on a constant loop forever. 854 00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:34,080 I'd rather insert this entire mic stand up my bum... 855 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,720 ..than be romantically involved with that woman. 856 00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,320 Methinks he doth protest too much. 857 00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:45,400 Just so you know, the mic is actually still on, 858 00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:47,440 so... 859 00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:50,800 Yeah, just... 860 00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,240 Sorry. 861 00:56:59,360 --> 00:57:05,320 Winter winds are blowing... 862 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:07,440 It's going well. Yeah. 863 00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:10,440 - We should be fine. - Will you share every Christmas... Stop. 864 00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:12,520 Stop, stop. Sorry, sorry. 865 00:57:12,560 --> 00:57:15,240 Um... No, no, no, no, no, no. 866 00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:18,240 Why do you keep interrupting? What was that? We don't need that. 867 00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:22,120 - BVs, man. - Well, it sounded good to me. I think we've got it. 868 00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,440 Yeah? No, no, we don't. 869 00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:28,760 Um... Could we all just sing the same line as Marcus, but in harmony? 870 00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:30,960 Thank you. Uh... Yeah, no. That's my line. 871 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:34,080 I'm the lead singer. Well, I mean, that's not... 872 00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,160 We're both kind of the lead. 873 00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:39,600 Yeah, no, sure. Yeah. We're both... 874 00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:42,080 Sorry, what was that? I mean, I sing lead sometimes. 875 00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:45,840 You sang on one track on - the first album. - Very much filler! 876 00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,840 You got that last take, didn't you? Yeah, yeah - it's in the bank. 877 00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:51,240 OK, everybody, 878 00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,400 let's just try one Blake's way. He is the producer, after all. 879 00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,280 Thank you. Such bullshit. 880 00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,240 ♪ Ours was a burning love 881 00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,120 ♪ Which I vividly... ..remember 882 00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,200 ♪ That time in my crib back in mid.....December 883 00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:08,000 ♪ You rode to mine on your brother's motor.....cycle 884 00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:11,520 ♪ And I sang to you like I was channelling George.....Michael 885 00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:14,680 ♪ And now when I hear the sound of ringing sleigh.....bells 886 00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:16,400 ♪ Hot nuts, yes 887 00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:18,440 ♪ You remember how they smell ♪ 888 00:58:24,960 --> 00:58:26,960 Can I get you anything? 889 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,760 A gun? 890 00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:35,320 - Sing it like it's written! - Have you had a platinum-selling album? 891 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:38,240 Sing it like it's written! Who even are you...even? 892 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,400 They're singing the wrong words. No, we're singing better ones 893 00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:46,120 because we're artists. That's the process. We're all professionals here...unlike you. 894 00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:48,440 Do you have any idea what you're actually singing about? 895 00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,960 What this song means? Because... Because I do. Because I wrote it. 896 00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:55,400 And you're just fucking it up! OK, OK, let's just take a break. 897 00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,600 And you're not even the best singer. He is! 898 00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:04,000 Thanks, man. Not you. Him. 899 00:59:04,040 --> 00:59:07,160 Yes! All killer no filler! 900 00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:09,360 Did he just say I'm not the best singer? 901 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:12,400 OK, let's definitely take - a break now. - With pleasure. 902 00:59:23,360 --> 00:59:25,440 Hmm? 903 00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:28,120 We'd like a word...in private. 904 00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:31,000 Oh, uh... 905 00:59:31,040 --> 00:59:33,920 I'm sorry, are you trying to intimidate me? 906 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,080 Cos uh... I should point out that you're a boy band... 907 00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:38,280 and therefore, not very intimid- 908 00:59:43,960 --> 00:59:46,640 Look, this song. 909 00:59:46,680 --> 00:59:48,920 Now, I get that you're all... 910 00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:51,160 emotionally involved in it and stuff. 911 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:55,000 But it's our song now, so stop being a dick, 912 00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,040 and let us do it our way. 913 00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,520 Because we're gonna do it anyway. 914 01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:02,840 So, why bother fighting it, yeah? 915 01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:06,600 Exactly, co-operation. 916 01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:14,240 Think about Nina. She's excited about this, yeah? 917 01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:18,280 And you want her to be happy, don't you? 918 01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,880 So, now, we're gonna go back downstairs, 919 01:00:22,920 --> 01:00:24,840 you're gonna keep your mouth shut... 920 01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,320 and leave it to the big boys. 921 01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:31,160 Or else...show him, D-Wayne. 922 01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:39,240 Sorry, man! 923 01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:42,600 What the hell do you think you're doing?! 924 01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:45,680 - Get back downstairs now! - You know you're not actually our boss, Meg, 925 01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:48,920 so you can't tell us what to do. Now. 926 01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,160 Little shits! 927 01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:57,440 OK? 928 01:00:59,440 --> 01:01:01,880 Ow! 929 01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:03,960 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 930 01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:08,600 There's nothing like being tortured by a Poundland One Direction! 931 01:01:12,480 --> 01:01:14,520 You know what, I'm done. 932 01:01:14,560 --> 01:01:18,240 Yeah, I'm gonna get a drink, and I'm gonna listen to some real music. 933 01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:19,960 You produce the song. 934 01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:23,960 I already am. 935 01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:27,880 You really didn't think I was gonna leave this up to you, did you? 936 01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:33,800 This was supposed to be a special thing between me and Nina. 937 01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,480 And then you came along, and...and you ruined it 938 01:01:36,520 --> 01:01:40,760 just so you could save your job. Well, congratulations, you have. 939 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:43,280 And I hope you go on to make many more wonderful records 940 01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,320 with such inspiring artists! 941 01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:50,840 I hope you're very proud of yourself. 942 01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:13,200 Hello? Hi, it's Nina. 943 01:02:13,240 --> 01:02:16,520 How's it going? Er... How did you get this number? 944 01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:21,240 'Uh... Yeah, I might have nicked it off Blake's phone. 945 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:24,200 Yeah, I was trying to get hold of him, but he's not answering.' 946 01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:28,160 He's just um...talking to the boys. 947 01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:30,200 'Really? 948 01:02:30,240 --> 01:02:32,880 Cos it says on my Snap he's in the Black Door Club 949 01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,160 round the corner from you.' 950 01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:38,440 Yes, that's right. He was just talking to the boys, 951 01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:41,120 and now he stepped out to get some... 952 01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:44,640 ..sandwiches and... 953 01:02:45,800 --> 01:02:48,280 ..falafel... 954 01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:50,800 for the boys. 955 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:53,640 'I miss the boys. Tell them I miss them.' 956 01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:57,040 Will do. 957 01:02:57,080 --> 01:03:00,720 'And thank you for this - for, you know, choosing his song... 958 01:03:00,760 --> 01:03:05,080 for letting him produce it. I think it might be just what he needs. 959 01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:07,960 Can't wait to hear it! Bye!' Bye. 960 01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:15,560 I'm a terrible person, aren't I? 961 01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:19,360 Yep. 962 01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:22,320 OK, boys. Shall we go again? 963 01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,920 Hey. Tracked you down again. 964 01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:42,560 This place is still horrible. Mind if I join? 965 01:03:43,520 --> 01:03:45,880 Sure, feel free. 966 01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:48,160 Compound my misery. 967 01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:50,680 We finished the recording - just the mix to do. 968 01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:54,160 How did the rap come out? We cut the rap. 969 01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:56,400 I'm not a complete moron. 970 01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:59,600 You're a complete something. OK... 971 01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:04,680 I admit...bringing the boys to the hospital was a shitty move. 972 01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:08,200 - Yeah, it was. - Well, it isn't the first shitty move I've pulled, 973 01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:11,080 and it probably won't be the last. 974 01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:13,120 I work in the music industry. 975 01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:20,280 I just hope Nina likes it. That's all that matters. 976 01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:23,960 She'll love it...because it's a brilliant song, and... 977 01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,560 you should feel so proud. 978 01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:30,640 You've done a good thing, and you're a good uncle. 979 01:04:32,120 --> 01:04:34,760 Put your hands together, everybody. 980 01:04:34,800 --> 01:04:37,880 It's the band you've been waiting for. It's Cholera! 981 01:04:39,240 --> 01:04:42,160 What? 982 01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:02,680 Welcome to my world! 983 01:05:02,720 --> 01:05:05,800 You're joking, right? I'm not - going in there! - Yes, you are. 984 01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:08,400 Then we're quits for what you did at the hospital. 985 01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:10,960 OK? Come on, it'll be fun! Come on. 986 01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:49,960 Seriously, these are all about you? All of them. 987 01:05:50,000 --> 01:05:53,040 Quicksand?! Ooh, I've gotta hear that one. 988 01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:55,800 Oh! No, it's not funny! 989 01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:58,280 Sorry...no. 990 01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,080 It is quite funny, though. 991 01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:05,120 And to think... 992 01:06:05,160 --> 01:06:07,440 I gave him his first break. 993 01:06:07,480 --> 01:06:12,160 Yeah, well, I hate him. Not as much as I hate him. 994 01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:15,440 I went round to his apartment one morning, 995 01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,480 thought I'd surprise him with breakfast, 996 01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:21,600 and my best friend Amy opens the door half-naked. 997 01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:24,320 Wow. Now I really hate him. 998 01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:27,120 Plus, I've always thought that when he sings, 999 01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:29,600 he...he sounds a bit like a strangled otter. 1000 01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,080 He does sound like a strangled otter. 1001 01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:36,120 Thank you! 1002 01:06:36,160 --> 01:06:38,960 I would rather be lonely... 1003 01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:42,720 ..than loved by you. 1004 01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:48,320 ..than loved by you. 1005 01:06:48,360 --> 01:06:51,560 That is a good impression of him. 1006 01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:54,840 And a strangled meerkat... both of them. 1007 01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:01,480 So that would make you...35? 1008 01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:05,200 Close enough. First song you ever bought? 1009 01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:07,840 Ooh. Hit Me Baby One More Time. 1010 01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:09,880 Ah, it's pop gold. 1011 01:07:09,920 --> 01:07:11,920 Uh... Your favourite album? 1012 01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:14,880 Too hard. I'd have to give you at least three, 1013 01:07:14,920 --> 01:07:17,880 and they change on a daily basis. 1014 01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:22,920 Maybe someday, I will like your thrashy metal-stuff thingy too. 1015 01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:27,200 No, I'm joking... of course I never will. 1016 01:07:27,240 --> 01:07:30,800 Yeah, you will. Ah, living in a dream world. 1017 01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:34,360 Well, this is me. 1018 01:07:35,760 --> 01:07:37,760 Uh... Well...thank you. 1019 01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:41,560 Yeah, well, I actually live nearby. 1020 01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:45,200 Yeah, you know where that murder was the other week? 1021 01:07:45,240 --> 01:07:47,920 And then I think they busted that crack den. Yeah. 1022 01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:49,960 Just round from there. Nice place. 1023 01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:52,000 Up and coming. 1024 01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:54,880 Yes. Well... 1025 01:07:55,840 --> 01:07:59,000 ..good night. Night. 1026 01:08:08,200 --> 01:08:12,040 OK...I'm not gonna kiss you. 1027 01:08:12,960 --> 01:08:15,920 I have this new rule - no dating artists. 1028 01:08:15,960 --> 01:08:18,680 No, no, no. Obviously. Sensible. Mm. 1029 01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:21,760 Yeah, I'm actually working on a new rule myself. Um... 1030 01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:24,000 No more meaningless one-night stands. 1031 01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:27,440 - Mm. - Not that that's what this would have uh... 1032 01:08:28,560 --> 01:08:32,320 Yeah... let's just keep things professional. 1033 01:08:33,200 --> 01:08:35,800 Exactly. Definitely. 1034 01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,520 Oh, no. 1035 01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:39,840 Good morning! 1036 01:09:39,880 --> 01:09:41,680 Dammit. 1037 01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,320 Sorry...um... forgot you were there. 1038 01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:47,280 Are you OK? 1039 01:09:47,320 --> 01:09:49,360 Fine. Fine. 1040 01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:03,840 Morning. 1041 01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:06,280 Hurry up! You're late! I'm coming! I'm coming! 1042 01:10:06,320 --> 01:10:09,440 OK, OK, OK. Um... Before we go in... 1043 01:10:09,480 --> 01:10:12,040 let's be clear, last night was a mistake. 1044 01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:14,560 Yeah, absolutely. Uh... 1045 01:10:16,160 --> 01:10:18,160 You're really fit. 1046 01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:22,040 - No! - No, no, no. I mean all the running and uh... 1047 01:10:22,080 --> 01:10:24,080 Well, but that too... 1048 01:10:26,080 --> 01:10:28,560 Professional. Exactly. 1049 01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,600 Definitely. 1050 01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:42,280 Standing by! Oh! 1051 01:10:42,320 --> 01:10:44,600 - Hey! - Hi, Carrie. Hello. 1052 01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:46,960 Hi, Nina. 1053 01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:51,440 So, you're late...together. 1054 01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:54,800 Wait. Two...together? 1055 01:10:56,920 --> 01:11:00,000 We just take the same...bus. -..train. - Train. 1056 01:11:00,040 --> 01:11:02,480 Um... Shut up? 1057 01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:04,920 I wanna go in the middle. You're not getting in the middle. 1058 01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:08,000 - Sorry, I just... Yeah. - Boys? 1059 01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:12,720 -- So, how's it going? - Brilliant! - We get to watch through the monitors. 1060 01:11:12,760 --> 01:11:14,880 Ooh, great. 1061 01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:17,120 As long as they don't make it snow. 1062 01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:19,160 And cue the snow machines! 1063 01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:31,040 ♪ Christmas lights, Christmas morning 1064 01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:35,480 ♪ Unique snowflakes slowly falling 1065 01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:39,440 ♪ Like your smile that is calling 1066 01:11:39,480 --> 01:11:42,280 ♪ Me back to you 1067 01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:47,920 ♪ As I search through my feelings 1068 01:11:47,960 --> 01:11:51,920 ♪ All I find is the longing 1069 01:11:51,960 --> 01:11:54,320 ♪ To stay 1070 01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:58,960 ♪ In this perfect moment with you 1071 01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:05,040 ♪ The honesty you taught me and the way in which you love me 1072 01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:08,360 ♪ It's so clear now 1073 01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:11,000 ♪ My friend 1074 01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:15,800 ♪ We've come this far 1075 01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:18,880 ♪Winter winds 1076 01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:22,600 ♪ Are blowing in 1077 01:12:23,520 --> 01:12:29,440 ♪ Will you share every Christmas with me, my darling... 1078 01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:31,680 How are you doing? 1079 01:12:31,720 --> 01:12:34,280 I love Christmas songs. 1080 01:12:34,320 --> 01:12:36,240 Ah, no kidding. 1081 01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:40,240 Yeah, you know, I think there's something magical about them 1082 01:12:40,280 --> 01:12:43,120 that always takes you back to a happy place. 1083 01:12:43,160 --> 01:12:47,000 I guess because it reminds you of the people you love. 1084 01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:49,040 ♪ ..Christmas Day is dawning 1085 01:12:49,080 --> 01:12:51,960 ♪ If you're gone 1086 01:12:52,000 --> 01:12:57,120 ♪ Before I wake Before I wake 1087 01:12:57,160 --> 01:13:00,160 ♪ I'll remember you as you are 1088 01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:03,040 ♪ This Christmas morning 1089 01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:05,400 ♪ This Christmas morning ♪ 1090 01:13:10,800 --> 01:13:12,800 Thank you. You're welcome. 1091 01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:23,120 OK, then. So...you and Meg. What's the shiz? 1092 01:13:23,160 --> 01:13:25,160 The what? 1093 01:13:25,200 --> 01:13:27,440 Kissing status. Wha gwan? 1094 01:13:27,480 --> 01:13:29,480 Nothing. She's um... 1095 01:13:31,560 --> 01:13:33,600 It's a professional relationship. 1096 01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:37,640 Yeah...which ends today. 1097 01:13:37,680 --> 01:13:41,240 Everything's done - song, video... 1098 01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:44,920 Yeah. So? Do you like her? 1099 01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:49,800 Yes. Yes, I think I do. 1100 01:13:49,840 --> 01:13:52,320 Then, tell her, you idiot. Oh, my God. 1101 01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:54,440 Yeah, you really are an idiot. 1102 01:13:55,760 --> 01:13:58,440 OK. Bye, then. 1103 01:13:58,480 --> 01:14:00,960 Bye! You better tell her! 1104 01:14:18,000 --> 01:14:20,000 Great song, man. 1105 01:14:20,920 --> 01:14:25,000 Thanks, man. We are gonna be so-o-o rich. 1106 01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:29,960 Grainger said... he's gonna get us all cars. 1107 01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:33,320 I'm gonna get a Smart car. Cos they're small... 1108 01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:37,520 ..and you can park them really easy. 1109 01:14:39,080 --> 01:14:41,120 I'm not a confident parker. 1110 01:14:42,440 --> 01:14:45,000 Yeah, well, I mean... 1111 01:14:45,040 --> 01:14:48,280 all the money's going to charity, so... Yeah, OK. 1112 01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,000 What's going on? 1113 01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,400 You're not supposed to tell anyone. 1114 01:14:56,440 --> 01:15:00,040 We can tell him. Especially not him. 1115 01:15:01,120 --> 01:15:03,480 Oh, yeah. Sorry, man. 1116 01:15:03,520 --> 01:15:05,520 Forget everything I just said. 1117 01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:10,360 Wooo... Boop! 1118 01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:18,960 Yep, all done, and it looks great. 1119 01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:22,680 Hey, Grainger, hang on one sec. Hey! 1120 01:15:22,720 --> 01:15:24,720 There you are. I was thinking... 1121 01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:26,800 maybe it wouldn't hurt to have one drink. 1122 01:15:26,840 --> 01:15:29,280 Are you kidding me? Sorry? 1123 01:15:29,320 --> 01:15:31,640 When were you gonna tell me? 1124 01:15:31,680 --> 01:15:34,040 Tell you what? Jesus. 1125 01:15:34,080 --> 01:15:36,360 I bet you only slept with me to keep me sweet 1126 01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:39,240 while you finished cranking out this musical turd! 1127 01:15:39,280 --> 01:15:42,880 Yeah, just like you said, not the first shitty thing you've ever done, 1128 01:15:42,920 --> 01:15:44,920 and it won't be the last. 1129 01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:52,520 Charity, my arse! 1130 01:16:01,480 --> 01:16:03,480 Grainger? 1131 01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:22,360 Kandy? The tour is over. 1132 01:16:23,720 --> 01:16:25,720 Ryan and I have split. 1133 01:16:25,760 --> 01:16:29,200 What, again? 1134 01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:32,320 It's for good this time. 1135 01:16:34,040 --> 01:16:36,040 He's such an asshole. 1136 01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:39,800 Can I stay at yours tonight? 1137 01:16:41,920 --> 01:16:44,240 I can't go back to our place. 1138 01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:47,720 Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Yeah. 1139 01:16:47,760 --> 01:16:49,760 I could do with the company. 1140 01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:56,800 I'll just uh...get my keys. 1141 01:16:57,800 --> 01:16:59,880 All right. 1142 01:16:59,920 --> 01:17:01,920 A nice cup of whiskey. 1143 01:17:20,120 --> 01:17:22,360 Look, I just - Uh-huh. 1144 01:17:23,280 --> 01:17:26,520 - It is you. - Oh... What do you want? 1145 01:17:27,840 --> 01:17:30,840 Is... Is Blake here? No. 1146 01:17:30,880 --> 01:17:33,200 He went to get me breakfast. 1147 01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:35,520 We were up all night, so... 1148 01:17:35,560 --> 01:17:38,240 now we are hungry. You know how it is. 1149 01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:40,800 Yes. 1150 01:17:42,920 --> 01:17:45,640 He is pissed off with you, let me tell you. 1151 01:17:45,680 --> 01:17:47,680 Then, in that case... 1152 01:17:48,560 --> 01:17:52,960 ..can you tell him from me... I'm sorry. 1153 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,200 I didn't know anything about the money. 1154 01:17:55,240 --> 01:17:57,240 And I've actually quit my job. 1155 01:17:58,680 --> 01:18:01,160 Now, he can't get the song back, 1156 01:18:01,200 --> 01:18:03,440 not without stumping up a huge amount of money 1157 01:18:03,480 --> 01:18:05,520 to cover Cocksmiths' costs... 1158 01:18:05,560 --> 01:18:09,200 but he can record a version of his own, and I can help him release it. 1159 01:18:10,200 --> 01:18:13,560 It's a good story, and with the right kind of publicity, 1160 01:18:13,600 --> 01:18:16,400 it could sell, and that money will go to charity. 1161 01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:21,560 It's the least I could do. Ja, you said it. 1162 01:18:25,120 --> 01:18:28,080 So...will you tell him? Ja, I tell him. 1163 01:18:29,640 --> 01:18:31,840 I'm not stupid. 1164 01:18:31,880 --> 01:18:35,120 No...but I clearly am. 1165 01:18:35,160 --> 01:18:38,040 OK, goodbye, corporate lady bitch. 1166 01:18:50,960 --> 01:18:54,160 Hey! Hey, man. You all right? 1167 01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:57,440 - Thanks for coming. - Always. - How you doing? - Good. 1168 01:18:57,480 --> 01:18:59,480 Hey. 1169 01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:03,400 Can I see your pass, please? No. 1170 01:19:07,720 --> 01:19:11,240 - Come on, Mark. - Hm? Let's get set up. 1171 01:19:11,280 --> 01:19:15,080 So...they chewed you up and spat you out. 1172 01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:17,840 Yeah. - And we're the cavalry. - Is that cool? 1173 01:19:18,840 --> 01:19:21,680 Are we cool? Hey, listen. I'm always cool, mate. 1174 01:19:21,720 --> 01:19:23,800 Nina here? No. No, she's... 1175 01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,680 ..she's pretty tired. Right, well... 1176 01:19:29,320 --> 01:19:31,520 ..let's do her and her uncle proud. 1177 01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:33,560 Yeah? 1178 01:19:34,880 --> 01:19:37,880 Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma. 1179 01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:41,600 Dame Judy Dench. Dame Judy Dench. 1180 01:19:41,640 --> 01:19:45,680 Matt LeBlanc. In we go to Cocksmiths Records. 1181 01:19:45,720 --> 01:19:49,440 ..coming in. So, yeah. And just - low on the drums, please. Yeah. - Hey! 1182 01:19:50,360 --> 01:19:52,560 Hi. Thanks for doing this. 1183 01:19:52,600 --> 01:19:55,120 No problem. Felt I owed it to Nina. 1184 01:19:56,120 --> 01:19:58,360 Did you really quit your job? 1185 01:19:58,400 --> 01:20:00,600 Yes. 1186 01:20:00,640 --> 01:20:02,720 Sorry. No. I'm not. 1187 01:20:02,760 --> 01:20:05,520 I can't help but feel a bit...responsible. 1188 01:20:05,560 --> 01:20:07,640 Oh, no. You don't owe me anything. 1189 01:20:07,680 --> 01:20:09,840 I don't owe you anything, so let's just... 1190 01:20:12,080 --> 01:20:15,600 Look, I had to call in a lot of favours to set this up, and... 1191 01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:18,440 we haven't got much time. So let's just get going. 1192 01:20:18,480 --> 01:20:20,400 OK. Good. 1193 01:20:23,040 --> 01:20:26,400 Ah! My chorus! Guys, how you doing? You all right? 1194 01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:29,560 Come in. Come in. Are we ready to rock? 1195 01:20:29,600 --> 01:20:31,200 Small people? 1196 01:20:31,240 --> 01:20:34,080 Oh, Blake. Kinder? 1197 01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:36,200 And here's your Uncle Blake. OK. 1198 01:20:36,240 --> 01:20:40,600 Let's do this the way it should have been done, OK? Wish us luck! 1199 01:20:40,640 --> 01:20:44,880 - Nah, you've got this. - Have you got - this, Mrs Scorsese? - Yes, maestro. 1200 01:20:48,400 --> 01:20:52,200 - What? - When I'm older, I wanna be just like you. 1201 01:20:52,240 --> 01:20:54,560 In your dreams, little girl. 1202 01:20:57,960 --> 01:21:00,360 There can be only one. 1203 01:21:02,120 --> 01:21:04,280 You sure you don't wanna - sing it yourself? - Nah. 1204 01:21:04,320 --> 01:21:06,320 You're a better singer than me. 1205 01:21:07,240 --> 01:21:10,520 Just uh...nice and simple, yeah? 1206 01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:12,560 Yeah, don't worry. I've got it. 1207 01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:16,120 Good luck, kids. Here we go. 1208 01:21:33,040 --> 01:21:36,800 ♪ Christmas lights, Christmas morning 1209 01:21:36,840 --> 01:21:40,600 ♪ Unique snowflakes slowly falling 1210 01:21:40,640 --> 01:21:42,840 ♪ Like your smile 1211 01:21:42,880 --> 01:21:48,040 ♪ That is calling me back to you 1212 01:21:49,040 --> 01:21:52,600 ♪ As I search through my feelings 1213 01:21:52,640 --> 01:21:59,160 ♪ All I find is the longing to stay 1214 01:21:59,200 --> 01:22:04,000 ♪ In this perfect moment with you 1215 01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:10,280 ♪ The honesty you've taught me and the way in which you love me 1216 01:22:10,320 --> 01:22:12,920 ♪ It's so clear now 1217 01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:15,760 ♪ My friend 1218 01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:20,920 ♪ We've come this far 1219 01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:23,440 ♪ Winter winds 1220 01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:27,760 ♪ Are blowing in 1221 01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:31,160 ♪ Will you share every Christmas 1222 01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:34,520 ♪ With me, my darling? 1223 01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:39,240 ♪ If you're gone 1224 01:22:39,280 --> 01:22:44,080 ♪ Before I wake 1225 01:22:44,120 --> 01:22:47,760 ♪ I'll remember you as you are 1226 01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:51,520 ♪ This Christmas morning ♪ 1227 01:22:52,800 --> 01:22:56,240 Congratulations! You've made it through to the live final! 1228 01:22:56,280 --> 01:22:58,880 All right! 1229 01:22:58,920 --> 01:23:01,680 Well done, guys. Well done. 1230 01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:07,120 So um...well, we're all going for a drink. Do you... 1231 01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:11,600 -..want to come? - Nah. I wouldn't want to cramp your style. 1232 01:23:11,640 --> 01:23:14,160 - What? - Besides, I've got far too much to do. 1233 01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:16,240 OK, well...maybe another time? 1234 01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:20,000 Uh-huh. 1235 01:23:22,240 --> 01:23:24,240 Sounds really great, by the way. 1236 01:23:32,760 --> 01:23:34,760 The piano sounds really good. 1237 01:23:44,720 --> 01:23:48,080 Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas. OK, I think I'm ready. 1238 01:23:48,120 --> 01:23:52,080 You've got it the wrong way. Oh...sorry, hang on. 1239 01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:53,920 Am I in properly? 1240 01:23:53,960 --> 01:23:56,720 Yeah, you're good. You look good. 1241 01:23:58,960 --> 01:24:02,640 Liar. OK, and...action! 1242 01:24:02,680 --> 01:24:05,560 I hate Five Together. 1243 01:24:06,440 --> 01:24:09,280 Yeah, they're shit! Want to get a Christmas song? 1244 01:24:09,320 --> 01:24:11,920 Then, buy this one...by Scurve - 1245 01:24:11,960 --> 01:24:15,440 where all the proceeds really go to a cancer charity. 1246 01:24:18,360 --> 01:24:20,680 What are you doing? N-Nothing. 1247 01:24:21,960 --> 01:24:24,920 You just made the biggest mistake of your life! 1248 01:24:24,960 --> 01:24:28,400 I'll crush you! I'll smite thee from on high 1249 01:24:28,440 --> 01:24:30,760 with my mighty...legal hammer! 1250 01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:32,640 Why? We had a contract! 1251 01:24:32,680 --> 01:24:35,120 Oh, yes, contract. 1252 01:24:35,160 --> 01:24:37,720 Yes...wasn't signed though, was it? 1253 01:24:37,760 --> 01:24:40,160 'It was all a bit of a rush.' Ha! 1254 01:24:44,560 --> 01:24:46,400 Phooey. 1255 01:24:48,240 --> 01:24:51,560 Fine. Go and make your little record. 1256 01:24:51,600 --> 01:24:55,720 No-one's gonna hear it. Once you've raised your £100 for charity, 1257 01:24:55,760 --> 01:24:58,960 if you're lucky you can look out from your golden tower of... 1258 01:24:59,880 --> 01:25:05,080 ..principles and see your career vanishing over the horizon. 1259 01:25:05,120 --> 01:25:08,840 'Bye-bye, success. Bye-bye, money.' 1260 01:25:08,880 --> 01:25:10,880 Bye-bye, Grainger. 1261 01:25:19,480 --> 01:25:21,480 Entertainment desk, please. 1262 01:25:22,720 --> 01:25:25,040 Hi, is this Bobbie Purser? 1263 01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:27,080 It's Meg Rai. 1264 01:25:27,120 --> 01:25:30,600 No, no...it's not about Ranelle Spear. 1265 01:25:30,640 --> 01:25:33,040 But I do have something for you. 1266 01:25:34,040 --> 01:25:36,040 It's about Five Together. 1267 01:26:13,720 --> 01:26:16,960 Hey, Meg, it's Blake. 1268 01:26:18,280 --> 01:26:20,880 Everything's gone a bit mad! How you doing? 1269 01:26:20,920 --> 01:26:22,920 Give us a call. 1270 01:26:22,960 --> 01:26:25,600 Hello, this is Vladimir Putin. 1271 01:26:25,640 --> 01:26:29,560 Let's get topless together and wrestle a grizzly bear. 1272 01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:32,600 No, it's Blake...obviously. 1273 01:26:33,880 --> 01:26:35,880 Please call me. 1274 01:26:35,920 --> 01:26:38,320 Message deleted. 1275 01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:40,960 Meg. It's Ranelle. 1276 01:26:41,000 --> 01:26:44,480 Look, I really need to see you. I know it's Christmas Eve tomorrow, 1277 01:26:44,520 --> 01:26:49,120 but can we meet? Please, it's really important. 1278 01:26:57,360 --> 01:26:59,960 Gin and tonic, please. Right away, madam. 1279 01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:11,200 Yeah, hi. Meg's phone. 1280 01:27:12,080 --> 01:27:14,080 Ranelle Spear, who's this? 1281 01:27:15,080 --> 01:27:17,080 Blake? 1282 01:27:17,120 --> 01:27:19,520 Yeah, well, sorry, Blake. Um... 1283 01:27:19,560 --> 01:27:23,440 She's actually in the shower because we...we just had sex. 1284 01:27:23,480 --> 01:27:27,400 So um...want me to get her to call you back or...? 1285 01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:30,400 Hello? 1286 01:27:31,400 --> 01:27:33,400 Hello? Thank you. 1287 01:27:41,160 --> 01:27:44,880 So...why are we here? 1288 01:27:44,920 --> 01:27:46,920 I'm heading back to the West Coast. 1289 01:27:46,960 --> 01:27:49,840 You should come with me - hang, you know? 1290 01:27:49,880 --> 01:27:53,520 Soak up some of that sweet -- Cali sunshine. - With you? - Yes. 1291 01:27:55,520 --> 01:27:57,880 You know, I was thinking that... 1292 01:27:58,760 --> 01:28:01,680 ..we should get back together. - Wow. - Yeah. 1293 01:28:01,720 --> 01:28:04,320 Yeah, I know. Bombshell, right? 1294 01:28:04,360 --> 01:28:07,880 But it'd be cool, no? Cool because... OK. 1295 01:28:07,920 --> 01:28:12,960 Look, look. Look, so I know that I didn't exactly treat you... 1296 01:28:15,520 --> 01:28:17,520 OK, um... 1297 01:28:17,560 --> 01:28:21,560 So, maybe...perhaps, I was a bit... 1298 01:28:24,040 --> 01:28:26,560 Keep going, you can get there... 1299 01:28:27,440 --> 01:28:29,440 I think I should have maybe... 1300 01:28:30,480 --> 01:28:32,520 ..appreciated you a bit more. 1301 01:28:32,560 --> 01:28:34,800 You should have. 1302 01:28:34,840 --> 01:28:36,840 Yeah. 1303 01:28:40,160 --> 01:28:42,880 I can't write. Nothing's coming. 1304 01:28:44,520 --> 01:28:47,120 I've got to make a start on the new album, and... 1305 01:28:47,160 --> 01:28:50,920 I-I can't think...of anything. 1306 01:28:52,400 --> 01:28:56,720 How about a concept album about an arrogant, heartless arsehole? 1307 01:28:56,760 --> 01:29:00,560 Oh...yes! You've got ideas, Meg! You're my muse. 1308 01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:04,240 You are my muse! Come and be my muse again, huh? 1309 01:29:04,280 --> 01:29:07,120 Look, the record label are seriously on my back. 1310 01:29:07,160 --> 01:29:09,960 What do you say? Say yes. 1311 01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:13,560 Yes. Come on, just say yes. Say it. Say it. 1312 01:29:15,480 --> 01:29:17,720 Ranelle. Yeah? 1313 01:29:18,760 --> 01:29:21,440 I'd rather be lonely than be loved by you. 1314 01:29:23,120 --> 01:29:26,880 OK. So...what does that mean? 1315 01:29:27,840 --> 01:29:29,840 It's your own... 1316 01:29:31,760 --> 01:29:34,600 Never mind. I have to be somewhere. 1317 01:29:46,800 --> 01:29:50,400 And finally, a real David and Goliath story. 1318 01:29:50,440 --> 01:29:52,720 Chart-topping boy band Five Together 1319 01:29:52,760 --> 01:29:57,000 go head-to-head with obscure grindcore metal band Scurve 1320 01:29:57,040 --> 01:30:01,640 in a race for the Christmas number-one spot with the same song. 1321 01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:04,320 Blake Cutter of Scurve, who wrote the song, 1322 01:30:04,360 --> 01:30:07,920 decided to release his band's own version when he discovered 1323 01:30:07,960 --> 01:30:10,120 that the money from the Five Together single 1324 01:30:10,160 --> 01:30:12,680 was not, in fact, going to charity. 1325 01:30:12,720 --> 01:30:15,160 Look, look. No, look, look. 1326 01:30:15,200 --> 01:30:18,520 This has been grossly misrepresented. 1327 01:30:18,560 --> 01:30:21,920 Of course, some of the money will be going to a designated charity. 1328 01:30:21,960 --> 01:30:25,200 What am I, a monster? Now, get out of my way. 1329 01:30:29,720 --> 01:30:32,520 Welcome to the nation's most exciting 1330 01:30:32,560 --> 01:30:34,560 Christmas countdown with me, 1331 01:30:34,600 --> 01:30:37,600 the nation's most exciting DJ, Joe Lycett. 1332 01:30:37,640 --> 01:30:40,440 This is where we find out who is going to take hold 1333 01:30:40,480 --> 01:30:44,240 of that always-cherished position, the number-one song spot 1334 01:30:44,280 --> 01:30:47,560 on Christmas Day. We've all been asking the question - 1335 01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:51,880 will it be the world's favourite boy band Five Together, 1336 01:30:51,920 --> 01:30:56,120 or could it be those not so well-known purveyors of grindcore Scurve? 1337 01:30:56,160 --> 01:31:00,280 Hi. 1338 01:31:00,320 --> 01:31:02,400 Just went up to see Nina. 1339 01:31:03,280 --> 01:31:06,560 You're not sticking around for the...countdown, then? 1340 01:31:06,600 --> 01:31:10,120 No. I have to go. Oh. 1341 01:31:10,160 --> 01:31:12,040 Back to Ranelle Spear. 1342 01:31:12,080 --> 01:31:14,240 What? Yeah, I called you. 1343 01:31:14,280 --> 01:31:16,280 He answered. 1344 01:31:16,320 --> 01:31:19,000 Said you'd just had sex. And you believed him? 1345 01:31:20,920 --> 01:31:24,120 Do you really think that would be something I would do? 1346 01:31:24,160 --> 01:31:27,400 Er... He tried to sleaze his way back to me, 1347 01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:29,760 and I told him where to get off. 1348 01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:32,000 Oh. So... 1349 01:31:32,040 --> 01:31:34,680 Why do you even care? You're with Kandy now. 1350 01:31:34,720 --> 01:31:38,240 What? No. Wh-What?! Oh, no. 1351 01:31:38,280 --> 01:31:40,680 Terrible. I'm not! 1352 01:31:42,440 --> 01:31:45,240 Well, she answered the door to me, half-naked. 1353 01:31:45,280 --> 01:31:48,040 You were getting her breakfast. You'd both been up all night 1354 01:31:48,080 --> 01:31:51,040 and were so hungry! No. no. That was just... 1355 01:31:51,080 --> 01:31:54,400 She was upset. Yeah. I thought you were different. 1356 01:31:55,360 --> 01:31:58,520 Clearly, I was wrong. No! No. 1357 01:31:58,560 --> 01:32:02,560 She'd just broken up with Ryan. She's always walking around half-naked! 1358 01:32:04,360 --> 01:32:06,360 She's German. 1359 01:32:07,880 --> 01:32:09,880 Do you know what? 1360 01:32:09,920 --> 01:32:12,080 Doesn't really matter. 1361 01:32:12,120 --> 01:32:14,800 I'm... I'm going back to New York. 1362 01:32:15,760 --> 01:32:18,440 A friend of mine is setting up a new label and offered me a job, 1363 01:32:18,480 --> 01:32:20,600 and I've taken it, so um... 1364 01:32:21,560 --> 01:32:23,560 New York? 1365 01:32:23,600 --> 01:32:25,840 Oh, but I thought that maybe we... 1366 01:32:25,880 --> 01:32:29,120 What? I told you. 1367 01:32:30,520 --> 01:32:32,520 I don't date artists. 1368 01:32:37,320 --> 01:32:39,400 You should go up and see Nina. 1369 01:32:39,440 --> 01:32:41,440 Meg! 1370 01:32:47,320 --> 01:32:49,320 Shit! All right, folks. 1371 01:32:49,360 --> 01:32:53,720 It's nearly time to reveal who's gonna be Christmas number one. 1372 01:32:53,760 --> 01:32:56,720 Where've you been? Sorry, sorry, sorry. 1373 01:33:00,400 --> 01:33:03,360 He's my boyfriend. OK. 1374 01:33:04,280 --> 01:33:06,160 Meg was here. 1375 01:33:07,280 --> 01:33:09,640 I know. I saw her. 1376 01:33:09,680 --> 01:33:13,200 And? Did you tell her how you feel? 1377 01:33:14,120 --> 01:33:16,440 Yeah. Yeah, I did. 1378 01:33:19,280 --> 01:33:22,040 And? 1379 01:33:23,720 --> 01:33:27,440 I knew I was right about you two. Yeah. 1380 01:33:27,480 --> 01:33:30,280 Yeah. Yeah, you called it. 1381 01:33:31,280 --> 01:33:34,080 So the question on everyone's lips, 1382 01:33:34,120 --> 01:33:36,360 have Five Together scored the number one, 1383 01:33:36,400 --> 01:33:38,760 or did Scurve achieve the improbable? 1384 01:33:38,800 --> 01:33:42,000 With two new entries to reveal, the nation's Christmas top ten 1385 01:33:42,040 --> 01:33:44,560 looks and sounds something like this. 1386 01:33:44,600 --> 01:33:47,480 At ten, Coldplay with Indigo Snow. 1387 01:33:47,520 --> 01:33:50,640 At nine, Olly Murs with Bang, There Goes My Heart. 1388 01:33:50,680 --> 01:33:53,800 At eight, Justin Bieber with God Complex. 1389 01:33:53,840 --> 01:33:57,280 At seven, Ed Sheeran with Unnecessary Boyfriend. 1390 01:33:57,320 --> 01:34:00,320 Sixth, Unbreakable, it's Dua Lipa. 1391 01:34:00,360 --> 01:34:02,760 At five, it's the Little Drummer Boy... Come on, lads! 1392 01:34:02,800 --> 01:34:05,240 ..Little Mix and Snoop Dogg. 1393 01:34:05,280 --> 01:34:08,840 Number four, the cast of Gogglebox with The Sun Always Shines On TV. 1394 01:34:08,880 --> 01:34:11,720 At three, Ranelle Spear - Goodbye, Baby. 1395 01:34:11,760 --> 01:34:14,040 So here we are - 1396 01:34:14,080 --> 01:34:17,320 two records left, and I can reveal 1397 01:34:17,360 --> 01:34:20,240 they are both the same song. Come on. Come on. 1398 01:34:21,160 --> 01:34:26,480 Who's it gonna be? This year's Christmas number one is... 1399 01:34:31,680 --> 01:34:34,160 ..Five Together! 1400 01:34:49,480 --> 01:34:51,480 I'm sorry. 1401 01:34:51,520 --> 01:34:53,840 What for? 1402 01:34:53,880 --> 01:34:55,920 They beat us. 1403 01:34:58,680 --> 01:35:01,400 All I wanted was a nice Christmas song. 1404 01:35:02,560 --> 01:35:04,560 You wrote me a hit. 1405 01:35:04,600 --> 01:35:08,200 You got the first spot and the second! 1406 01:35:09,120 --> 01:35:11,680 Don't you realise how amazing that is? 1407 01:35:16,360 --> 01:35:18,760 They were always going to beat us. 1408 01:35:23,520 --> 01:35:25,520 What were you hoping for? 1409 01:35:26,680 --> 01:35:28,680 A miracle? 1410 01:36:41,640 --> 01:36:44,240 I'd like to welcome everybody here today 1411 01:36:44,280 --> 01:36:48,480 to celebrate the extraordinary life of Nina Cutter. 1412 01:37:05,800 --> 01:37:09,080 ♪ Winter winds 1413 01:37:09,960 --> 01:37:13,440 ♪ Are blowing in 1414 01:37:14,560 --> 01:37:16,560 ♪ Will you share 1415 01:37:17,520 --> 01:37:22,240 ♪ Every Christmas with me, my darling? 1416 01:37:52,320 --> 01:37:56,080 ♪ Christmas lights, Christmas morning 1417 01:37:56,120 --> 01:38:00,040 ♪ Unique snowflakes slowly falling 1418 01:38:01,000 --> 01:38:03,000 ♪ Like your smile 1419 01:38:03,040 --> 01:38:06,960 ♪ That is calling me back to you 1420 01:38:09,240 --> 01:38:13,360 ♪ As I search through my feelings 1421 01:38:13,400 --> 01:38:16,880 ♪ All I find is the longing 1422 01:38:17,800 --> 01:38:19,800 ♪ To stay 1423 01:38:19,840 --> 01:38:24,240 ♪ In this perfect moment with you 1424 01:38:26,360 --> 01:38:28,360 ♪ The honesty you've taught me 1425 01:38:28,400 --> 01:38:30,800 ♪ And the way in which you love me 1426 01:38:30,840 --> 01:38:33,600 ♪ It's so clear now 1427 01:38:33,640 --> 01:38:36,280 ♪ My friend 1428 01:38:36,320 --> 01:38:40,800 ♪ We've come this far 1429 01:38:40,840 --> 01:38:44,040 ♪ Winter winds 1430 01:38:44,080 --> 01:38:47,880 ♪ Are blowing in 1431 01:38:47,920 --> 01:38:52,440 ♪ Will you share every Christmas 1432 01:38:52,480 --> 01:38:55,240 ♪ With me, my darling? 1433 01:38:57,360 --> 01:39:00,400 ♪ If you're gone 1434 01:39:00,440 --> 01:39:04,920 ♪ Before I wake 1435 01:39:04,960 --> 01:39:09,080 ♪ I'll remember you as you are 1436 01:39:09,120 --> 01:39:11,560 ♪ This Christmas morning 1437 01:39:13,200 --> 01:39:17,400 ♪ One can flick through the photos 1438 01:39:17,440 --> 01:39:20,560 ♪ Memories for tomorrow 1439 01:39:21,480 --> 01:39:24,000 ♪ Turn the lights on 1440 01:39:24,040 --> 01:39:27,960 ♪ Like we've done every year 1441 01:39:29,840 --> 01:39:33,640 ♪ Distant bells, new horizons 1442 01:39:33,680 --> 01:39:37,480 ♪ In your heart, don't be frightened 1443 01:39:37,520 --> 01:39:41,760 ♪ You taught me to be lighter 1444 01:39:41,800 --> 01:39:44,760 ♪ Through the storm 1445 01:39:46,440 --> 01:39:50,400 ♪ The honesty you taught me and the way in which you love me 1446 01:39:50,440 --> 01:39:53,720 ♪ It's so clear now 1447 01:39:53,760 --> 01:39:56,400 ♪ My friend 1448 01:39:56,440 --> 01:40:00,960 ♪ We've come this far 1449 01:40:01,000 --> 01:40:04,120 ♪ Winter winds 1450 01:40:04,160 --> 01:40:07,840 ♪ Are blowing in 1451 01:40:08,720 --> 01:40:12,160 ♪ Will you share every Christmas 1452 01:40:12,200 --> 01:40:15,600 ♪ With me, my darling? 1453 01:40:17,720 --> 01:40:20,600 ♪ If you're gone 1454 01:40:20,640 --> 01:40:24,560 ♪ Before I wake 1455 01:40:24,600 --> 01:40:28,720 ♪ I'll remember you as you are 1456 01:40:28,760 --> 01:40:31,480 ♪ This Christmas morning 1457 01:41:06,320 --> 01:41:08,320 Look at this. 1458 01:41:09,360 --> 01:41:11,360 Isn't it beautiful? 1459 01:41:11,400 --> 01:41:14,200 You know, I thought I should do this before it's... 1460 01:41:15,240 --> 01:41:17,400 ..you know... 1461 01:41:18,960 --> 01:41:20,840 ..too late? 1462 01:41:20,880 --> 01:41:24,920 But I just want to say... I've had a great life. 1463 01:41:24,960 --> 01:41:27,160 I've got a loving family. 1464 01:41:27,200 --> 01:41:30,840 And hey, I've been me, and I'm pretty cool. 1465 01:41:30,880 --> 01:41:33,120 I've been having a think, 1466 01:41:33,160 --> 01:41:35,560 and here are Nina's rules for living your life. 1467 01:41:35,600 --> 01:41:38,520 Number one, if you wanna do something, 1468 01:41:38,560 --> 01:41:41,320 do it. Do it now. 1469 01:41:41,360 --> 01:41:45,440 Number two, why be sad if you can be happy? 1470 01:41:45,480 --> 01:41:47,880 Number three, recycle. 1471 01:41:47,920 --> 01:41:50,680 Come on, people, climate change is real. 1472 01:41:50,720 --> 01:41:52,720 And number four... 1473 01:41:52,760 --> 01:41:55,880 if you love someone, tell 'em. 1474 01:42:01,480 --> 01:42:05,160 The heartbeat chases - run, escape her. 1475 01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:07,440 Write the words down on the paper. 1476 01:42:08,520 --> 01:42:10,800 And Atlas himself shrugged! 1477 01:42:10,840 --> 01:42:12,920 The fury, the rage. 1478 01:42:12,960 --> 01:42:14,960 I turn away. 1479 01:42:15,840 --> 01:42:18,760 I turn the page. Peace. 1480 01:42:23,600 --> 01:42:25,880 OK, I think that's enough 1481 01:42:25,920 --> 01:42:28,200 slam poetry and ukulele players for me tonight. 1482 01:42:28,240 --> 01:42:32,560 Thank you, so much, for bringing me... 1483 01:42:32,600 --> 01:42:35,440 and also paying me. 1484 01:42:35,480 --> 01:42:37,720 You're very welcome. 1485 01:42:37,760 --> 01:42:39,960 But I'm very tired, 1486 01:42:40,000 --> 01:42:42,000 and I'm gonna go home. 1487 01:42:42,040 --> 01:42:46,640 At least stay for the last act. Apparently, they're really good. 1488 01:42:56,240 --> 01:43:01,640 ♪ Why can't I be someone stronger? 1489 01:43:03,000 --> 01:43:05,160 ♪ Be someone other 1490 01:43:06,520 --> 01:43:09,160 ♪ Than I've been before? 1491 01:43:11,480 --> 01:43:16,960 ♪ Why can't I be someone wiser? 1492 01:43:17,920 --> 01:43:20,520 ♪ Where's my advisor 1493 01:43:21,720 --> 01:43:24,480 ♪ When I can't be sure? 1494 01:43:26,560 --> 01:43:29,760 ♪ Cos you've made me 1495 01:43:29,800 --> 01:43:34,640 ♪ Want to share what I'm feeling 1496 01:43:34,680 --> 01:43:40,360 ♪ Even though I don't have a clue 1497 01:43:41,800 --> 01:43:44,800 And now you're here 1498 01:43:44,840 --> 01:43:47,280 ♪ Can you come nearer? 1499 01:43:48,320 --> 01:43:50,800 ♪ So I can be clearer 1500 01:43:51,920 --> 01:43:53,680 ♪ That I've fallen for you? 1501 01:44:12,360 --> 01:44:15,280 ♪ I wasn't sure 1502 01:44:15,320 --> 01:44:18,040 ♪ When I first met you 1503 01:44:19,000 --> 01:44:22,040 ♪ Had to reject you 1504 01:44:22,920 --> 01:44:27,280 ♪ From coming too close 1505 01:44:27,320 --> 01:44:33,040 ♪ But you made me smile like no other 1506 01:44:34,000 --> 01:44:37,080 ♪ Helped me recover 1507 01:44:38,000 --> 01:44:40,880 ♪ From what hurt me most 1508 01:44:42,680 --> 01:44:46,200 ♪ So give me a chance 1509 01:44:46,240 --> 01:44:50,640 ♪ To advance this situation 1510 01:44:50,680 --> 01:44:53,080 ♪ Even though 1511 01:44:53,120 --> 01:44:57,120 ♪ We thought we were through 1512 01:44:58,040 --> 01:45:00,760 ♪ But now you're here 1513 01:45:00,800 --> 01:45:03,400 ♪ Coincidentally 1514 01:45:04,640 --> 01:45:07,120 ♪ It's not accidentally 1515 01:45:08,240 --> 01:45:10,720 ♪ That I've fallen for you 1516 01:46:13,480 --> 01:46:17,400 ♪ One can flick through the photos 1517 01:46:17,440 --> 01:46:21,560 ♪ Memories for tomorrow 1518 01:46:21,600 --> 01:46:24,160 ♪ Turn the lights on 1519 01:46:24,200 --> 01:46:28,480 ♪ Like we've done every year 1520 01:46:30,040 --> 01:46:33,800 ♪ Distant bells, new horizons 1521 01:46:33,840 --> 01:46:38,160 ♪ In your heart, girl, don't be frightened 1522 01:46:38,200 --> 01:46:42,000 ♪ You taught me to be lighter 1523 01:46:42,040 --> 01:46:45,240 ♪ Through the storm 1524 01:46:47,080 --> 01:46:51,240 ♪ The honesty you've taught me and the way in which you love me 1525 01:46:51,280 --> 01:46:54,280 ♪ It's so clear now 1526 01:46:54,320 --> 01:46:56,840 ♪ My friend 1527 01:46:56,880 --> 01:47:01,600 ♪ We've come this far 1528 01:47:01,640 --> 01:47:05,000 ♪ Winter winds 1529 01:47:05,040 --> 01:47:08,480 ♪ Are blowing in 1530 01:47:09,360 --> 01:47:13,000 ♪ Will you share every Christmas 1531 01:47:13,040 --> 01:47:15,680 ♪ With me, my darling? 1532 01:47:18,320 --> 01:47:21,440 ♪ If you're gone 1533 01:47:21,480 --> 01:47:25,040 ♪ Before I wake 1534 01:47:25,920 --> 01:47:29,880 ♪ I'll remember you as you are 1535 01:47:29,920 --> 01:47:32,560 ♪ This Christmas morning 1536 01:47:34,920 --> 01:47:38,000 ♪ Winter winds 1537 01:47:38,040 --> 01:47:41,480 ♪ Are blowing in 1538 01:47:42,560 --> 01:47:46,000 ♪ Will you share every Christmas 1539 01:47:46,040 --> 01:47:49,320 ♪ With me, my darling? Snowflakes slowly falling 1540 01:47:49,360 --> 01:47:51,440 ♪ Christmas Day is dawning 1541 01:47:51,480 --> 01:47:54,560 ♪ If you're gone 1542 01:47:54,600 --> 01:47:59,000 ♪ Before I wake Before I wake 1543 01:47:59,040 --> 01:48:02,720 ♪ I'll remember you as you are 1544 01:48:02,760 --> 01:48:05,400 ♪ This Christmas morning 1545 01:48:05,440 --> 01:48:08,160 ♪ This Christmas morning ♪ 1546 01:48:10,040 --> 01:48:13,520 ♪ Rather be lonely, I'd rather be lonely than loved by you 1547 01:48:14,520 --> 01:48:18,040 ♪ Rather be lonely, I'd rather be lonely than loved by you 1548 01:48:18,080 --> 01:48:22,400 ♪ Than loved by you 1549 01:48:22,440 --> 01:48:26,840 ♪ Than loved by 1550 01:48:26,880 --> 01:48:31,160 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 1551 01:48:31,200 --> 01:48:33,200 ♪ Than loved by you ♪ 1552 01:48:33,240 --> 01:48:36,200 ♪ Check out the tsunamis 1553 01:48:36,240 --> 01:48:38,160 ♪ Out in the East 1554 01:48:39,200 --> 01:48:41,600 ♪ Conspiracy theories 1555 01:48:42,560 --> 01:48:45,040 ♪ The sign of the beast 1556 01:48:45,920 --> 01:48:48,960 ♪ Robots in the workplace 1557 01:48:49,000 --> 01:48:51,320 ♪ Taking our jobs 1558 01:48:51,360 --> 01:48:54,880 ♪ Here's a shoutout to the losers 1559 01:48:54,920 --> 01:48:57,720 ♪ Cos no-one dates a slob 1560 01:48:58,840 --> 01:49:03,760 ♪ But one day, things will be different 1561 01:49:03,800 --> 01:49:06,480 ♪ But until that time 1562 01:49:06,520 --> 01:49:09,680 ♪ We look for a miracle 1563 01:49:09,720 --> 01:49:13,600 ♪ A Christmas miracle 1564 01:49:13,640 --> 01:49:19,040 ♪ Santa's bringing presents to billionaires and peasants 1565 01:49:19,080 --> 01:49:22,440 ♪ They all need a miracle 1566 01:49:22,480 --> 01:49:26,120 ♪ An old-school miracle 1567 01:49:26,160 --> 01:49:29,920 ♪ We just need to believe 1568 01:49:29,960 --> 01:49:33,760 ♪ Yes, yes, so look at my garms, I ain't dressed like no peasant 1569 01:49:33,800 --> 01:49:37,160 ♪ I'm killing it, I'm smart, your greatest Christmas present 1570 01:49:37,200 --> 01:49:39,920 ♪ I represent the miracle you desire 1571 01:49:39,960 --> 01:49:43,200 ♪ More swagger than Santa and more admired 1572 01:49:43,240 --> 01:49:45,240 ♪ I won't be twisting up the truth 1573 01:49:45,280 --> 01:49:47,800 ♪ I won't give you no reason to doubt me 1574 01:49:47,840 --> 01:49:49,880 ♪ Yes, I'll spice up your season 1575 01:49:49,920 --> 01:49:52,920 ♪ You know I've paid my dues, I'll say that in my defence 1576 01:49:52,960 --> 01:49:56,240 ♪ Let me shower you with gold, leave out the frankincense 1577 01:49:57,480 --> 01:50:00,880 ♪ We pray for a miracle 1578 01:50:00,920 --> 01:50:04,720 ♪ A Christmas miracle 1579 01:50:04,760 --> 01:50:06,760 ♪ Give succour to the feeble 1580 01:50:06,800 --> 01:50:10,520 ♪ Feed the hungry people Oh, sugar 1581 01:50:10,560 --> 01:50:13,720 ♪ Behold a miracle 1582 01:50:13,760 --> 01:50:17,680 ♪ A Christmas miracle 1583 01:50:17,720 --> 01:50:23,480 ♪ We just need 1584 01:50:23,520 --> 01:50:27,840 ♪ To believe ♪ 1585 01:50:30,040 --> 01:50:33,840 Five Together, 1586 01:50:37,640 --> 01:50:41,400 Five Together, Five Together, Five Together! 1587 01:50:46,120 --> 01:50:48,120 Huh. 1588 01:50:48,160 --> 01:50:50,160 This is Ranelle. 1589 01:50:52,000 --> 01:50:54,040 Are you ready? 1590 01:50:55,200 --> 01:50:57,200 Are you ready to taste this? 1591 01:50:59,400 --> 01:51:02,480 Wear it, spray it, feel it, 1592 01:51:02,520 --> 01:51:05,480 be it, take it, have it. 1593 01:51:05,520 --> 01:51:07,520 Are you with me? 1594 01:51:09,120 --> 01:51:11,120 Just like that. 1595 01:51:12,320 --> 01:51:15,640 It's yours. Taste it. 1596 01:51:18,080 --> 01:51:20,480 AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk 114843

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