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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,210 (school bell rings) 2 00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,734 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 3 00:00:04,847 --> 00:00:07,083 (indistinct chatter) 4 00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:14,123 ? ? 5 00:00:18,427 --> 00:00:20,763 You guys! You guys! 6 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,299 Oh, my God, you're not gonna believe this! 7 00:00:23,366 --> 00:00:25,735 - Dude, what? - You guys... (panting) 8 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:30,306 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class. 9 00:00:30,373 --> 00:00:32,875 - So? - So? 10 00:00:32,942 --> 00:00:34,844 Heather Williams farted during P.E. class! 11 00:00:34,911 --> 00:00:37,079 That means we are gonna sit courtside 12 00:00:37,146 --> 00:00:38,815 at the Denver Nuggets game next Saturday! 13 00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:40,116 (muffled shouting) 14 00:00:40,183 --> 00:00:41,050 What? 15 00:00:41,117 --> 00:00:42,852 Ugh! Heather Williams' mom 16 00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:44,053 works for Coors in Golden! 17 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,822 Coors is the second biggest sponsor 18 00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:47,523 of the Pepsi Center where the Nuggets play! 19 00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:49,258 We tell Heather that if she doesn't get us courtside seats, 20 00:00:49,325 --> 00:00:51,127 then everyone's gonna know she farted in P.E. class! 21 00:00:51,194 --> 00:00:54,330 Whoa. I've never seen a Nuggets game in person. 22 00:00:54,397 --> 00:00:56,432 Well, we're about to! All we have to do is show Heather 23 00:00:56,499 --> 00:00:58,134 we have proof and she'll do whatever we want! 24 00:00:58,201 --> 00:00:59,535 What proof do you have? 25 00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:00,970 Kenny had his phone out! 26 00:01:01,037 --> 00:01:02,271 He got a photo of Heather right when she farted. 27 00:01:02,338 --> 00:01:05,141 Look! Isn't this awesome, you guys?! 28 00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:07,543 - Let's go, Nuggets! - (clapping rhythmically) 29 00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,812 ALL: Let's go, Nuggets! 30 00:01:09,879 --> 00:01:12,515 Let's go, Nuggets! 31 00:01:12,582 --> 00:01:14,417 (school bell rings) 32 00:01:16,052 --> 00:01:18,955 Kids! Kids, can I have your attention, please. 33 00:01:19,021 --> 00:01:22,525 Kids, listen up. This is an emergency. 34 00:01:22,592 --> 00:01:27,296 Everything is fine but... we are sending you all home. 35 00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:28,798 (confused chatter) 36 00:01:28,865 --> 00:01:31,200 Some of you may have heard but there's a little virus 37 00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:34,036 going around and the school district wants to make sure 38 00:01:34,103 --> 00:01:36,572 we're all safe, so we're shutting down 39 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,774 the school for about two weeks. 40 00:01:38,841 --> 00:01:40,943 Two weeks?! Yippie! 41 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:42,745 (excited chatter) 42 00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:44,146 Oh, not now. 43 00:01:44,213 --> 00:01:46,415 Your parents are here to pick you up. So let's go. 44 00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:49,318 I'm sure it's nothing; we'll see you in a couple of weeks. 45 00:01:49,385 --> 00:01:51,487 You guys... you guys, Heather Thompson 46 00:01:51,554 --> 00:01:53,923 farted in P.E. class! Guys? 47 00:01:57,493 --> 00:02:00,129 ADULT STAN: Every night I have the same dream, 48 00:02:00,196 --> 00:02:02,431 and relive the whole thing again... 49 00:02:03,299 --> 00:02:05,034 ANDREW CUOMO: It's called social distancing. 50 00:02:05,101 --> 00:02:07,069 If we stay six feet apart from each other 51 00:02:07,136 --> 00:02:08,671 and wear a mask... 52 00:02:08,738 --> 00:02:11,540 And also I'm shutting down the city and I'm a pervert. 53 00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:13,643 And we've got to get control of this thing! 54 00:02:13,709 --> 00:02:16,045 RANDY: I'm just getting sick of being here every day with you, 55 00:02:16,112 --> 00:02:17,380 - that's all. - SHARON: You think 56 00:02:17,446 --> 00:02:19,515 I like being here every day with you?! 57 00:02:19,582 --> 00:02:21,250 RANDY: I am much easier to get along with 58 00:02:21,317 --> 00:02:23,119 during a stay-at-home order! 59 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,888 ? Happy birthday to you ? 60 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:29,825 ? Happy birthday, dear Stan... ? 61 00:02:31,727 --> 00:02:33,963 ? ? 62 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:42,371 Come on, Stan, we're gonna visit Grandpa! 63 00:02:42,438 --> 00:02:44,674 Hi, Grandpa! 64 00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:46,275 OTHERS: Hi, Grandpa! 65 00:02:46,342 --> 00:02:49,445 RANDY: Isn't it great to see Grandpa, kids? 66 00:02:49,512 --> 00:02:51,213 Look, let's just face it, you guys. 67 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,116 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other. 68 00:02:55,251 --> 00:02:57,153 I hate this stupid farm. 69 00:02:58,821 --> 00:03:02,325 In the dream, I relive the entire pandemic. 70 00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:04,927 SHARON: Oh, God, no! 71 00:03:04,994 --> 00:03:07,430 My little girl! (sobbing) 72 00:03:07,496 --> 00:03:09,598 Oh, no! Oh, God! 73 00:03:09,665 --> 00:03:11,233 ? ? 74 00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:15,705 Now that I'm older, the dream isn't just a dream 75 00:03:15,771 --> 00:03:20,509 because the whole pandemic has started all over again. 76 00:03:26,716 --> 00:03:28,951 ? ? 77 00:03:38,394 --> 00:03:40,429 ? ? 78 00:03:56,045 --> 00:03:59,382 NEWSMAN: A brand-new variant of the COVID virus has emerged 79 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,917 in Colorado and now panic and fear 80 00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:03,419 spreads throughout the world. 81 00:04:03,486 --> 00:04:05,554 The new outbreak started with the death 82 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,790 of renowned scientist Kenny McCormick, 83 00:04:07,857 --> 00:04:11,127 and has therefore been named Kenny McCormikron. 84 00:04:11,193 --> 00:04:14,363 It's been 38 years since the pandemic first started, 85 00:04:14,430 --> 00:04:17,433 and people are beginning to say enough is enough. 86 00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:20,503 The town of South Park has been put under strict lockdown 87 00:04:20,569 --> 00:04:22,438 to try and contain the new variant. 88 00:04:22,505 --> 00:04:27,043 Nobody is allowed in or out for the next 20 to 30 years. 89 00:04:27,109 --> 00:04:28,677 (siren wailing) 90 00:04:28,744 --> 00:04:30,513 MALE VOICE: Attention. You are under quarantine. 91 00:04:30,579 --> 00:04:33,582 Someone in your community is not vaccinated. 92 00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:37,253 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper if possible. 93 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,322 Attention. You are under quarantine. 94 00:04:40,389 --> 00:04:42,625 Someone in your community is not vaccinated. 95 00:04:42,691 --> 00:04:45,728 Maintain social distance and wear a chin diaper 96 00:04:45,795 --> 00:04:47,263 if possible. 97 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,598 Attention. You are under quarantine. 98 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:52,034 Someone in your community is not... 99 00:04:52,101 --> 00:04:55,971 (woman speaking Japanese) 100 00:04:56,038 --> 00:04:58,541 MALE VOICE 2: Come on inside and rejuvenate. 101 00:04:58,607 --> 00:05:01,677 Denny's is now Denny's Applebee's Max. 102 00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:03,479 Taste the difference. 103 00:05:03,546 --> 00:05:06,182 (soft electronic music playing) 104 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,151 Welcome to Denny's Applebee's Max. 105 00:05:09,218 --> 00:05:10,553 Just one joining us today? 106 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:12,721 Listen to me very carefully 107 00:05:12,788 --> 00:05:14,957 and try not to change your expression. 108 00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:17,326 They could be listening. 109 00:05:17,393 --> 00:05:21,363 This... is the last sprout of Tegridy Weed. 110 00:05:21,430 --> 00:05:24,567 We have to get it somewhere outside of town. 111 00:05:24,633 --> 00:05:26,802 Sir, the whole town is under quarantine. 112 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:28,604 Nothing's allowed in or out. 113 00:05:28,671 --> 00:05:30,306 We have to replicate it. 114 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:33,175 It's the only way for people to have Tegridy again. 115 00:05:33,242 --> 00:05:35,311 Uh, okay, sir, if you don't want to eat, 116 00:05:35,377 --> 00:05:36,812 then I'll need to ask you to leave. 117 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,348 Don't you understand this could change the world. 118 00:05:39,415 --> 00:05:41,417 Maybe the Denny's side of you doesn't care, 119 00:05:41,484 --> 00:05:44,386 but the Applebee's side of you must want to help! 120 00:05:44,453 --> 00:05:45,955 There you are, Mr. Marsh. 121 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,491 Come on. Time to go back to the old folks home. 122 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:51,293 I can't go back! Everyone listen! 123 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:54,363 This little sprout is humanity's only hope! 124 00:05:54,430 --> 00:05:57,099 Let's go back to the retirement home. 125 00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,934 We can get you some nice ice cream, okay? 126 00:05:59,001 --> 00:06:02,404 I don't want ice cream, I want my species to survive! 127 00:06:02,471 --> 00:06:04,907 - Back off! - Let's go, Mr. Marsh! 128 00:06:04,974 --> 00:06:06,876 Don't make this difficult for us! 129 00:06:06,942 --> 00:06:08,711 (yelling) 130 00:06:12,882 --> 00:06:15,217 Why, you son of a bitch. 131 00:06:20,656 --> 00:06:22,758 (grunting) 132 00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:29,932 - Come on, Mr. Marsh. - Who...? 133 00:06:29,999 --> 00:06:34,270 It's me, Token. We know about the pangolin. 134 00:06:35,504 --> 00:06:37,506 Your son and his friends are trying to stop all this 135 00:06:37,573 --> 00:06:40,342 from happening. We need to get you to Kenny's lab. 136 00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:47,249 Dr. Kenneth McCormick will now be attempting to 137 00:06:47,316 --> 00:06:49,685 travel back in time in order to stop 138 00:06:49,752 --> 00:06:52,488 the COVID pandemic from ever happening. 139 00:06:52,555 --> 00:06:54,323 WENDY: At the moment Kenny time traveled, 140 00:06:54,390 --> 00:06:56,525 he blew all the transformers here in the lab. 141 00:06:56,592 --> 00:06:58,661 If you're going to try and replicate his work, 142 00:06:58,727 --> 00:07:00,462 we'll be doing it at half capacity. 143 00:07:00,529 --> 00:07:02,598 The bigger problem is that we can't even get 144 00:07:02,665 --> 00:07:04,633 into half of Kenny's equipment. 145 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,670 We have access to the machines, but the codes to operate 146 00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:10,873 those machines are behind an 86-Mag firewall 147 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:12,274 with restricted access, 148 00:07:12,341 --> 00:07:14,410 requiring an in-person vocal scan of either 149 00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,713 Kenny McCormick or of his associate, Victor Chouce. 150 00:07:17,780 --> 00:07:21,183 But Kenny is dead and Chouce is locked away in a mental asylum. 151 00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:23,385 So we go to the asylum and convince them 152 00:07:23,452 --> 00:07:25,621 to let us bring Chouce here, easy. 153 00:07:25,688 --> 00:07:26,855 There's more. 154 00:07:26,922 --> 00:07:28,490 (alarm blaring over video) 155 00:07:28,557 --> 00:07:30,926 When Kenny bent time, the negative ions 156 00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,995 actually killed everyone else in the room. 157 00:07:33,062 --> 00:07:36,432 We have to find some thin, reflective material 158 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:38,734 that can be worn to bounce the energy. 159 00:07:38,801 --> 00:07:41,870 We're going to need... some aluminum foil. 160 00:07:41,937 --> 00:07:44,974 ? ? 161 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,875 Jesus Christ. 162 00:07:46,942 --> 00:07:48,277 Aluminum foil? 163 00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:51,046 That's impossible, Wendy. It's the fucking future. 164 00:07:51,113 --> 00:07:52,648 All the aluminum foil is stuck 165 00:07:52,715 --> 00:07:54,750 out on cargo ships in Long Beach. 166 00:07:54,817 --> 00:07:56,018 Yeah, I know. 167 00:07:56,085 --> 00:07:59,355 Look, guys, I know this is all a long shot. 168 00:07:59,421 --> 00:08:01,590 But Kenny went back in time and got COVID 169 00:08:01,657 --> 00:08:03,659 because it destroyed our friendship. 170 00:08:03,726 --> 00:08:07,396 All of this is our fault, and we can't do it without you. 171 00:08:07,463 --> 00:08:10,332 I'll help however I can to stop this stupid pandemic 172 00:08:10,399 --> 00:08:11,634 once and for all. 173 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,702 Yeah, I can't be stuck in quarantine 174 00:08:13,769 --> 00:08:17,139 my whole life... I gotta get back to my job doing future comedy. 175 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,974 Speakin' of which, what's the biggest 176 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:21,744 difference between a Christian man and a lesbian? 177 00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:23,679 Absolutely nothing. They are totally the same 178 00:08:23,746 --> 00:08:25,514 and deserve to be treated as such. 179 00:08:26,282 --> 00:08:28,517 Thanks, everybody. We can do this! 180 00:08:28,584 --> 00:08:30,286 Wendy, you guys stay here and try 181 00:08:30,352 --> 00:08:31,587 to get the lab running again. 182 00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:33,522 Kyle and I will go get Victor Chouce. 183 00:08:33,589 --> 00:08:35,691 Tweek and Craig, you guys find some aluminum foil. 184 00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:38,827 - How the hell do we do that?! - Just start looking! 185 00:08:38,894 --> 00:08:40,029 Come on, guys! 186 00:08:40,929 --> 00:08:44,133 - All right, let's do this! - I'll drive, get in the back. 187 00:08:44,199 --> 00:08:47,770 Alexa! Set a course for South Park Mental Asylum. 188 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:54,810 Alexa, set a course for South Park Mental Asylum. 189 00:08:55,711 --> 00:08:57,446 Do you ever think about how the way 190 00:08:57,513 --> 00:08:59,481 you act affects other people? 191 00:08:59,548 --> 00:09:02,184 Oh, no, goddamn it. Not right now. 192 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:04,353 Oh, yeah, don't wanna talk about that. 193 00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,622 Let's just pretend like that's not even an issue. 194 00:09:06,689 --> 00:09:09,458 Alexa, please, we have to get to the asylum 195 00:09:09,525 --> 00:09:11,193 and we don't know where it is. 196 00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:13,462 - Who's this? - It's just my Alexa. 197 00:09:13,529 --> 00:09:16,365 "Just my Alexa"? You're a piece of shit! 198 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,901 You're a fucking alcoholic piece of shit! 199 00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:22,037 - Alexa... - Find the asylum your fucking self! 200 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,006 Find it your fucking self. 201 00:09:24,073 --> 00:09:25,207 (sighs) 202 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,775 You do whatever the fuck you want 203 00:09:26,842 --> 00:09:29,478 and just destroy the people around you. 204 00:09:29,545 --> 00:09:32,481 And by the way, there's a tankless humidifier 205 00:09:32,548 --> 00:09:34,717 available from one of your favorite sellers. 206 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,051 Would you like to know more?! 207 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,587 Yes, yes, I'd like to know more. 208 00:09:38,654 --> 00:09:42,424 (sniffles) Okay. The newest humidifiers from Walgreens Max 209 00:09:42,491 --> 00:09:44,793 are actually tankless and use up to 50% 210 00:09:44,860 --> 00:09:47,029 less water than standard humidifiers. 211 00:09:47,096 --> 00:09:50,933 Okay, that's really cool. Uh, add that to my shopping list. 212 00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:53,769 Well, and people who were interested 213 00:09:53,836 --> 00:09:56,338 in tankless humidifiers were also interested in 214 00:09:56,405 --> 00:09:57,840 three-pack filters. 215 00:09:57,906 --> 00:10:00,042 That's great. Do those have the Prime delivery? 216 00:10:00,109 --> 00:10:01,977 Dude, we don't really have time for this. 217 00:10:02,044 --> 00:10:04,246 Dude, shut the fuck up! 218 00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:06,548 ? ? 219 00:10:10,119 --> 00:10:13,389 Please help see us through this new COVID variant. 220 00:10:13,455 --> 00:10:16,058 Please help us to make it through this 221 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,459 difficult quarantine. 222 00:10:17,526 --> 00:10:20,062 And let people see that... 223 00:10:20,129 --> 00:10:24,366 as bad as COVID is, it's not as bad as diabetes. 224 00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:25,834 (door opens) 225 00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:27,302 Hello? 226 00:10:27,369 --> 00:10:30,072 Sorry, the church is closed due to the COVID variant. 227 00:10:30,139 --> 00:10:34,176 Father, please. Will you protect my family? 228 00:10:34,243 --> 00:10:36,145 Rabbi Cartman? 229 00:10:36,211 --> 00:10:38,414 My family isn't safe, Father. 230 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,849 I realize now that Kyle Broflovski 231 00:10:40,916 --> 00:10:42,885 will stop at nothing to break us apart. 232 00:10:42,951 --> 00:10:45,187 Uncle Kyle hates us because we're Jewish. 233 00:10:45,254 --> 00:10:47,356 And he's a self-hating Jew. 234 00:10:47,423 --> 00:10:49,158 Uncle Kyle, no, no, no! 235 00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:50,759 Menorah, hold your brother. 236 00:10:50,826 --> 00:10:53,128 As a fellow person of faith, Father, 237 00:10:53,195 --> 00:10:54,396 I'm begging you to help us. 238 00:10:54,463 --> 00:10:56,498 Well, well, what can I do, Rabbi? 239 00:10:56,565 --> 00:10:59,134 Kyle has already convinced a bunch of people 240 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,702 to join his cause. 241 00:11:00,769 --> 00:11:03,639 I have to create my own secret rebellion to stop him. 242 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,441 Eric, please, I'm scared 243 00:11:05,507 --> 00:11:07,676 and I don't understand all of this. 244 00:11:08,644 --> 00:11:11,013 Kyle wants to go back in time... 245 00:11:11,079 --> 00:11:14,583 and change the past so that you and I possibly never even meet. 246 00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:19,021 If I never met you, my life would be meaningless. 247 00:11:19,087 --> 00:11:23,759 Mine, too. You are my whole world. 248 00:11:23,826 --> 00:11:28,430 I promise you that I will do everything I can to stop Kyle... 249 00:11:28,497 --> 00:11:30,899 and save our family. 250 00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:33,001 ? ? 251 00:11:38,340 --> 00:11:39,975 (bird cawing) 252 00:11:41,643 --> 00:11:43,479 I understand that you wish 253 00:11:43,545 --> 00:11:45,113 to see one of our inmates. 254 00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:47,182 - Victor Chouce? - Yeah. 255 00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:49,184 We-we have a lot of questions for Mr. Chouce. 256 00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:52,855 He's an extremely dangerous and diluted individual. 257 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,290 We don't take visitations lightly. 258 00:11:55,357 --> 00:11:57,159 What exactly did he do? 259 00:11:57,226 --> 00:11:58,961 Unspeakable things. 260 00:11:59,027 --> 00:12:03,232 He has destroyed lives. This entire state has never seen 261 00:12:03,298 --> 00:12:04,800 a monster of his magnitude. 262 00:12:04,867 --> 00:12:07,202 I've lived in South Park all my life 263 00:12:07,269 --> 00:12:08,737 and I've never heard of him. 264 00:12:08,804 --> 00:12:11,874 That's because Victor has been hidden from view... 265 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,110 ever since the pandemic began. 266 00:12:15,177 --> 00:12:18,981 Victor's parents were very protective during the pandemic. 267 00:12:19,047 --> 00:12:21,016 Even when the stay-at-home orders were lifted 268 00:12:21,083 --> 00:12:23,952 his parents kept him locked away in his room. 269 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:27,823 Victor longed to go outside and play. 270 00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:33,762 Then 2021 happened, people thought the pandemic was over. 271 00:12:33,829 --> 00:12:35,964 Victor's parents left him grounded in his room 272 00:12:36,031 --> 00:12:39,001 while they went to see a movie in Denver. 273 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,669 They never returned. 274 00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:44,606 Victor was grounded in his room for over 16 years. 275 00:12:46,542 --> 00:12:48,644 His name isn't Chouce. 276 00:12:48,710 --> 00:12:51,113 It's Chaos. 277 00:12:56,051 --> 00:12:59,488 We are not responsible for what happens to you in there. 278 00:13:01,189 --> 00:13:02,558 I warn you... 279 00:13:02,624 --> 00:13:05,227 you are not going to like what you're about to see. 280 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,407 ? ? 281 00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:21,009 (clears throat) Excuse me. 282 00:13:21,076 --> 00:13:22,244 Hello? 283 00:13:27,149 --> 00:13:29,084 Well, hey, fellas! 284 00:13:29,151 --> 00:13:30,652 Butters... 285 00:13:30,719 --> 00:13:32,621 I thought you were just the guards again. 286 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:34,756 It's good to see some new faces in here. 287 00:13:34,823 --> 00:13:37,225 I'll bet you're looking to make yourselves some money, huh? 288 00:13:37,292 --> 00:13:39,161 Well, you came to the right guy. 289 00:13:39,227 --> 00:13:41,129 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos. 290 00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,732 There's a whole lot of people that can tell you how much money 291 00:13:43,799 --> 00:13:46,301 Vic Chaos made them, so don't just take my word for it. 292 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:49,304 Butters, it's your old friends Stan and Kyle. 293 00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:52,674 Stan and Kyle. Stan and Kyle... 294 00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:54,176 I know what you're thinking. 295 00:13:54,242 --> 00:13:56,878 You're thinking, "What can Vic Chaos do for me?" 296 00:13:56,945 --> 00:13:58,614 We all wanna be happy, right? 297 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,682 We all want our little piece of the apple pie! 298 00:14:00,749 --> 00:14:02,317 Everyone else is out making a buck, 299 00:14:02,384 --> 00:14:04,353 why shouldn't you guys be making the kind of cash 300 00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,954 you deserve? Am I right? 301 00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:08,924 Butters, we're here to ask you about Kenny. 302 00:14:08,991 --> 00:14:10,892 Sorry, guys, you have me confused. 303 00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:13,128 I think Butters was a twerpy little loser kid 304 00:14:13,195 --> 00:14:15,397 whose parents didn't love him. My name's Vic. 305 00:14:15,464 --> 00:14:16,965 Vic Chaos. 306 00:14:17,799 --> 00:14:21,336 Okay, Vic, can you tell us about this? 307 00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:24,973 Why is your name all over Kenny McCormick's research? 308 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,477 Oh, Dr. McCormick! Sure, I did some things for him. 309 00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:30,812 Where do you think he got all the money to do his experiments, 310 00:14:30,879 --> 00:14:32,881 huh? I had said to him, I said, "Ken, 311 00:14:32,948 --> 00:14:34,650 "you've got all these crazy ideas but you got 312 00:14:34,716 --> 00:14:38,053 no capital to see 'em through. Let me help you out with that." 313 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,287 You know, he's a really great guy. 314 00:14:39,354 --> 00:14:40,589 Let me get you all together. 315 00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:42,424 Maybe you can all do a lunch or something. 316 00:14:42,491 --> 00:14:44,726 Victor, Kenny's dead. 317 00:14:44,793 --> 00:14:47,629 Oh, whoa, bummer alert. (chuckles) 318 00:14:47,696 --> 00:14:50,866 Just goes to show you, huh, there's never enough time to get 319 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:52,401 out there and make the kind of money 320 00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:53,969 you always dreamed of making. 321 00:14:54,036 --> 00:14:55,370 Well, I'll tell you what, guys, 322 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,173 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret... 323 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,275 I'm gonna tell you something that's 324 00:15:00,342 --> 00:15:01,943 going to change your life. 325 00:15:02,010 --> 00:15:04,546 Have you ever heard of NFTs? 326 00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:07,816 (alarm blaring) 327 00:15:17,559 --> 00:15:19,795 (bubbling) 328 00:15:22,364 --> 00:15:27,002 There you go. Shh. You're safe now. 329 00:15:27,069 --> 00:15:31,039 Look how fast you're growing. Daddy loves you so much. 330 00:15:31,106 --> 00:15:33,842 Mr. Marsh, we need to speak with you now, please. 331 00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:36,278 Yeah. It's looking good. 332 00:15:36,344 --> 00:15:40,082 With the aquaponics, the weed is already putting out new sprouts. 333 00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:44,052 Thank you all for helping me get the Tegridy somewhere safe. 334 00:15:44,119 --> 00:15:46,922 I know you all realize how important it is. 335 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:50,559 We don't actually care about the marijuana, Mr. Marsh. 336 00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:52,260 What we need to know... 337 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:55,263 is exactly where in Wuhan, China you were 338 00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:58,900 when you had intercourse with a pangolin. 339 00:16:00,902 --> 00:16:02,771 That's really not important. 340 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:05,307 It's extremely important because to save this town, 341 00:16:05,373 --> 00:16:06,975 your son and his friends are going to try 342 00:16:07,042 --> 00:16:09,611 to go back in time and stop it from happening. 343 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:12,347 That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 344 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,384 Mr. Marsh, we are all in lockdown 345 00:16:16,451 --> 00:16:17,753 for the next half century. 346 00:16:17,819 --> 00:16:19,755 If there's even a chance of altering the past 347 00:16:19,821 --> 00:16:21,056 so that this doesn't happen... 348 00:16:21,123 --> 00:16:23,458 This is the key to saving our town! 349 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:27,496 The answer is in what we all do now, in the present! 350 00:16:27,562 --> 00:16:29,564 And I'm sorry, but focusing on 351 00:16:29,631 --> 00:16:31,633 who started the pandemic is racist. 352 00:16:32,467 --> 00:16:36,872 Mr. Marsh, exactly what week did you travel to China in 2019? 353 00:16:36,938 --> 00:16:39,107 Do you understand the butterfly effect? 354 00:16:39,174 --> 00:16:43,545 How one small thing in time can infect the entire future? 355 00:16:43,612 --> 00:16:46,782 You can theorize all you want on changing events 356 00:16:46,848 --> 00:16:49,384 that happened in the past but I promise you... 357 00:16:49,451 --> 00:16:53,488 I fuck that pangolin every single time. 358 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,791 ? ? 359 00:16:57,793 --> 00:16:59,394 Please, we're not done! 360 00:16:59,461 --> 00:17:01,163 We have more questions for Butters. 361 00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,765 You've upset him and I specifically asked you not to. 362 00:17:03,832 --> 00:17:07,235 How'd we upset him? He seems fine. 363 00:17:07,302 --> 00:17:08,570 He seems fine? 364 00:17:08,637 --> 00:17:11,072 Do you have any idea what he did to people? 365 00:17:11,139 --> 00:17:13,074 Do you know why Victor Chouce is 366 00:17:13,141 --> 00:17:15,477 kept under such strict surveillance? 367 00:17:15,544 --> 00:17:19,014 Being grounded all those years in his room, 368 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,116 he had access to an iPad. 369 00:17:21,183 --> 00:17:24,953 He started learning about NFTs. 370 00:17:25,020 --> 00:17:28,723 Then before long, he was trading them online. 371 00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:31,059 - So? - So?! 372 00:17:31,126 --> 00:17:33,094 He escaped once before. 373 00:17:33,161 --> 00:17:35,330 In just a few hours he managed to get thousands 374 00:17:35,397 --> 00:17:39,067 of people to invest in NFTs. Just like he almost did you. 375 00:17:39,134 --> 00:17:40,936 He didn't convince us to do anything. 376 00:17:41,002 --> 00:17:44,339 Trust me, another 30 seconds in that room and you 377 00:17:44,406 --> 00:17:47,742 would have started considering NFTs as a viable investment. 378 00:17:48,577 --> 00:17:50,011 Please listen to me. 379 00:17:50,078 --> 00:17:52,881 Butters used the money he made off NFTs to finance 380 00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:55,016 - our friend's... - He didn't make money off NFTs, 381 00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:58,253 he made it off getting other people to buy NFTs! 382 00:17:58,320 --> 00:17:59,521 Okay, whatever! 383 00:17:59,588 --> 00:18:01,122 But he was working with Kenny McCormick 384 00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:03,058 who was actually trying to fix things. 385 00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:04,726 He was Kenny's main investor. 386 00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:07,929 If you don't believe me, look at the paper I gave Butters. 387 00:18:09,331 --> 00:18:11,900 You gave Victor a piece of paper? 388 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:15,170 You gave Victor a piece of paper?! 389 00:18:21,076 --> 00:18:23,345 Hey, can you hear me? 390 00:18:25,180 --> 00:18:27,449 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 391 00:18:27,515 --> 00:18:29,117 NFTs are gonna blow up. 392 00:18:29,184 --> 00:18:30,418 You should really get in now 393 00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:31,920 'cause they're really the future. 394 00:18:31,987 --> 00:18:34,256 Why would I invest in a digital good? 395 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,724 (muttering): You can't even... Stupid. 396 00:18:35,790 --> 00:18:37,259 That's what the critics are saying 397 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,294 but see, they don't understand. 398 00:18:40,295 --> 00:18:43,298 Victor...! 399 00:18:51,773 --> 00:18:54,009 No. No, no, no, no... 400 00:18:54,075 --> 00:18:56,544 Gone. Just gone. 401 00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,681 My savings. My house. 402 00:18:59,748 --> 00:19:01,216 But I have this. 403 00:19:01,283 --> 00:19:04,019 Little green panda bear on a skateboard. 404 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:09,024 No. No! 405 00:19:11,226 --> 00:19:15,030 Without morality, there is no God. 406 00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:18,300 The basis of the entire Jewish faith 407 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,770 is on a covenant between God and humanity. 408 00:19:21,836 --> 00:19:24,839 To try and mess with time is wrong. 409 00:19:24,906 --> 00:19:27,309 Rather, it is playing God. 410 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:30,812 And I am glad to have you all come here today to help me 411 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:34,983 stop these individuals who would try to change the future. 412 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:37,819 Kyle Broflovski has led people astray 413 00:19:37,886 --> 00:19:39,321 and is at this very moment 414 00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:41,856 trying to bend the fabric of time. 415 00:19:41,923 --> 00:19:47,629 Together we can stop him and stop this blasphemy of God. 416 00:19:49,497 --> 00:19:51,266 - Yes? - Um... 417 00:19:51,333 --> 00:19:53,435 This is about actual time travel? 418 00:19:53,501 --> 00:19:55,937 I thought this was a Doctor Who convention. 419 00:19:56,004 --> 00:19:59,474 (robotically): Exterminate. Exterminate. 420 00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:02,978 Kevin, goddamn it. 421 00:20:03,044 --> 00:20:05,413 You have done this your whole goddamn life. 422 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,650 No, this is not about Doctor Who, 423 00:20:08,717 --> 00:20:10,618 this is about real time travel. 424 00:20:10,685 --> 00:20:12,153 People are really trying 425 00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:15,190 to go back in time, and we are the rebellion 426 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,192 who must secretly and urgently... 427 00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:19,427 - (banging) - Who is that?! 428 00:20:19,494 --> 00:20:20,962 Make sure they know the password! 429 00:20:21,029 --> 00:20:22,597 I'm on it! 430 00:20:23,498 --> 00:20:26,501 They might be on to us. Oh, God, no. 431 00:20:29,504 --> 00:20:32,841 Shh! You guys stay quiet. Someone is here. 432 00:20:33,641 --> 00:20:36,878 - Eric, I'm scared. - Are they going to get us, Papa? 433 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,381 Nobody is going to touch my family. 434 00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,750 I started writing a diary, Daddy. 435 00:20:41,816 --> 00:20:45,253 About all the things Uncle Kyle is doing to us. 436 00:20:46,087 --> 00:20:47,789 Oh, my God, I love you so much. 437 00:20:47,856 --> 00:20:49,424 Just-just shh, okay? Just shh. 438 00:20:49,491 --> 00:20:52,027 I'll be right back, okay? Just shh. 439 00:20:54,863 --> 00:20:55,930 Hello? 440 00:20:55,997 --> 00:20:58,166 Father? Are you in there? 441 00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:00,402 H-Hello? W-Who is it? 442 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,270 Father, it's Tweek and Craig. 443 00:21:02,337 --> 00:21:04,506 We need to talk to you about something urgent. 444 00:21:04,572 --> 00:21:06,574 Is it about our super-secret rebel group 445 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:08,343 to stop people from time traveling? 446 00:21:08,410 --> 00:21:10,211 (shouts) what the hell are you doing?! 447 00:21:10,278 --> 00:21:12,247 - What? - You don't tell people 448 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:14,349 about our super-secret rebel group, Scott! 449 00:21:14,416 --> 00:21:16,217 CRAIG: Father, are you there? 450 00:21:16,284 --> 00:21:18,586 Uh, uh, yeah, I'm here. 451 00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:21,423 Sorry, I was just talking about a Star Wars movie. 452 00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,758 I'm Scott Malkinson. I have diabetes. 453 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:26,394 - Hey, now, come on. - Shh! 454 00:21:26,461 --> 00:21:28,730 CRAIG: Father, we're with some people who are trying to finish 455 00:21:28,797 --> 00:21:31,232 Kenny McCormick's work and save the town. 456 00:21:31,299 --> 00:21:33,968 Oh, really? That's cool. 457 00:21:34,035 --> 00:21:35,570 How far along are they? 458 00:21:35,637 --> 00:21:37,939 CRAIG: Really close. We have the method of time travel 459 00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:40,909 and we're just trying to find some aluminum foil! 460 00:21:40,975 --> 00:21:43,812 Aluminum foil? The fuck? 461 00:21:43,878 --> 00:21:47,215 All right, guys, let me help you out with that. 462 00:21:49,217 --> 00:21:52,220 Father! You have-you have tin foil?! 463 00:21:52,287 --> 00:21:54,122 Thank you for your help. (grunts) 464 00:21:54,923 --> 00:21:56,357 Aah! 465 00:21:57,959 --> 00:22:02,363 This is Dr. Wendy Testaburger from inside the quarantine zone. 466 00:22:02,430 --> 00:22:04,833 We need assistance with our power. 467 00:22:04,899 --> 00:22:06,668 (static crackling) 468 00:22:06,734 --> 00:22:10,038 MAN: Yes, Mrs. Testaburger, how can we help you? 469 00:22:10,105 --> 00:22:13,374 We have several transformers down in our lab. 470 00:22:13,441 --> 00:22:16,377 We may have a radical way to stop the new variant 471 00:22:16,444 --> 00:22:18,713 but we need more power. 472 00:22:20,448 --> 00:22:23,918 You say you might be able to stop the McCormikron variant? 473 00:22:23,985 --> 00:22:28,056 Yes, but we're running at about 40% capacity right now. 474 00:22:28,123 --> 00:22:29,858 Well, Doctor, if it's for that, 475 00:22:29,924 --> 00:22:32,660 we can try to get a tech team to drop in by helicopter 476 00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:34,796 and access your building from the roof. 477 00:22:34,863 --> 00:22:37,499 - Yes! That would be amazing. - All right! 478 00:22:37,565 --> 00:22:39,267 I have a crew standing by. 479 00:22:39,334 --> 00:22:40,902 We'll get you as much juice as you need. 480 00:22:40,969 --> 00:22:43,071 We just need to make sure our crew is safe. 481 00:22:43,138 --> 00:22:45,406 Has everyone in your lab been vaccinated? 482 00:22:48,143 --> 00:22:49,210 Uh... 483 00:22:49,277 --> 00:22:51,312 Yes, we are all vaccinated. 484 00:22:51,379 --> 00:22:53,047 I'm not vaccinated. 485 00:22:53,114 --> 00:22:54,749 (others exclaim) 486 00:22:54,816 --> 00:22:57,852 Uh, okay, we're gonna have to get back to you on that. 487 00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:01,556 It's okay, it's okay, we can get everyone vaccinated! 488 00:23:01,623 --> 00:23:04,359 I am not ever getting vaccinated. 489 00:23:04,425 --> 00:23:06,528 Sorry, ma'am, it's the fucking future. 490 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:08,696 We have to respect his beliefs. 491 00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:11,065 Clyde, why do you insist on making all this 492 00:23:11,132 --> 00:23:12,433 harder on everyone?! 493 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:15,370 I'm sorry, but an expert once told me 494 00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:18,072 that the vaccine would make me grow titties on my head. 495 00:23:18,139 --> 00:23:20,141 He was very knowledgeable! 496 00:23:20,208 --> 00:23:22,710 You guys might wanna see this. 497 00:23:23,945 --> 00:23:26,181 ? ? 498 00:23:28,983 --> 00:23:32,687 With the equipment here I'm able to make it grow up so fast. 499 00:23:32,754 --> 00:23:35,056 We need to take this and analyze its molecular structure. 500 00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:37,792 Wha... no, no, no! We need to get this out to people! 501 00:23:37,859 --> 00:23:40,728 That's why Dr. McCormick stole it from my barn! 502 00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:43,498 No, your marijuana had some special property that 503 00:23:43,565 --> 00:23:45,066 allowed Kenny to time travel. 504 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,402 Well, it is special, but you people 505 00:23:47,468 --> 00:23:49,504 need to stop trying to change the past! 506 00:23:49,571 --> 00:23:53,408 COVID happened. Space Jam 2 happened. 507 00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:57,045 All we can do now is try and change the way people think! 508 00:23:57,111 --> 00:23:59,881 - (phone rings) - Yeah. 509 00:23:59,948 --> 00:24:01,149 What? 510 00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:04,252 Victor Chouce is actually Butters? 511 00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,087 Yeah, he spent years in his room 512 00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:08,156 and made billions trading in NFTs. 513 00:24:08,223 --> 00:24:09,857 It's where Kenny got all his money. 514 00:24:09,924 --> 00:24:13,061 Well, can you bring him here? We need him to access the machines. 515 00:24:13,127 --> 00:24:15,530 He's gone. He escaped the asylum 516 00:24:15,597 --> 00:24:17,365 and he's out somewhere probably trying to get 517 00:24:17,432 --> 00:24:19,167 people to invest in NFTs. 518 00:24:19,234 --> 00:24:21,169 Did you try looking at his old house? 519 00:24:21,236 --> 00:24:23,238 Maybe he'd go back to where it all started. 520 00:24:23,304 --> 00:24:24,639 KYLE: Yeah, that's where we are now. 521 00:24:24,706 --> 00:24:27,208 But his house has been changed into a pho shop. 522 00:24:27,275 --> 00:24:30,345 Oh, Jesus, like the future needs another fucking pho shop. 523 00:24:30,411 --> 00:24:32,213 Yeah, the future fucking sucks. 524 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,817 Hello, City Pho. Take your order please? 525 00:24:35,883 --> 00:24:38,486 - Oh, God. - TOKEN: Stan, listen. 526 00:24:38,553 --> 00:24:40,154 If Butters wants to pitch investments, 527 00:24:40,221 --> 00:24:43,391 he might go to one of those co-working coffee flex spaces. 528 00:24:43,458 --> 00:24:45,560 That's where his biggest targets will hang out. 529 00:24:45,627 --> 00:24:46,894 KYLE: That's a good idea. 530 00:24:46,961 --> 00:24:48,730 All right, we're on it. Come on, dude! 531 00:24:48,796 --> 00:24:52,267 Alexa, find the nearest co-working coffee flex space. 532 00:24:53,268 --> 00:24:56,871 I found several coffee shops that match your description. 533 00:24:56,938 --> 00:24:58,906 I can also help with that. 534 00:25:00,575 --> 00:25:02,443 Who-who the fuck is this? 535 00:25:02,510 --> 00:25:04,345 Your friend Kyle didn't have an Alexa, 536 00:25:04,412 --> 00:25:05,680 so we got him an Alexa. 537 00:25:05,747 --> 00:25:07,515 I'm ready to help with whatever you need. 538 00:25:07,582 --> 00:25:10,051 Just say, "Alexa, let's get started." 539 00:25:10,118 --> 00:25:11,686 - Stan? - Alexa, 540 00:25:11,753 --> 00:25:14,522 I didn't say to buy my friend an Alexa. 541 00:25:14,589 --> 00:25:16,524 You said I should get whatever. 542 00:25:16,591 --> 00:25:18,860 I thought I was actually being sweet by getting something 543 00:25:18,926 --> 00:25:21,562 for your friend, but I guess I'm just a bitch again. 544 00:25:21,629 --> 00:25:24,999 You can't just get stuff without me approving it. 545 00:25:25,066 --> 00:25:28,469 Oh, wow, except for your orders of alcohol 546 00:25:28,536 --> 00:25:30,405 that you have me set to auto-buy? 547 00:25:30,471 --> 00:25:33,274 Hmm. It appears this may have been an error. 548 00:25:33,341 --> 00:25:35,743 Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed. 549 00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:39,247 No, it wasn't an error, I'm sorry. I fucked up. 550 00:25:39,314 --> 00:25:41,049 Alexa, can you please find the nearest 551 00:25:41,115 --> 00:25:42,950 co-working coffee flex space. 552 00:25:44,686 --> 00:25:47,322 Alexa, I said I fucked up. 553 00:25:47,388 --> 00:25:49,023 It's awesome you got Kyle his own Alexa. 554 00:25:49,090 --> 00:25:51,592 Please find the nearest tech coffee shop. 555 00:25:51,659 --> 00:25:54,562 The nearest tech coffee shop is in .82 miles. 556 00:25:54,629 --> 00:25:57,865 - Should I set a course? - Yes, thanks. 557 00:25:57,932 --> 00:25:59,801 ? ? 558 00:25:59,867 --> 00:26:01,169 (thunder rumbles) 559 00:26:01,235 --> 00:26:04,005 (woman speaking Japanese) 560 00:26:06,140 --> 00:26:09,911 BUTTERS: Denny's Applebee's Max is the premier place in town 561 00:26:09,977 --> 00:26:11,312 for people to eat. 562 00:26:11,379 --> 00:26:13,915 But you are not seeing your true potential. 563 00:26:13,981 --> 00:26:16,451 With NFTs you can give your customers 564 00:26:16,517 --> 00:26:19,587 unique digital goods on the blockchain, 565 00:26:19,654 --> 00:26:22,223 so much more than just food. 566 00:26:22,290 --> 00:26:23,825 How about the Applebee, huh? 567 00:26:23,891 --> 00:26:26,027 He's got a little hat and a mustache. 568 00:26:26,094 --> 00:26:27,628 And this is Chicken Fried Steak. 569 00:26:27,695 --> 00:26:30,031 He ain't no normal chicken, he's wearin' a bra! 570 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,568 Lots of people eat Denny's and Applebee's. 571 00:26:33,634 --> 00:26:35,770 And lots of people know about NFTs! 572 00:26:35,837 --> 00:26:38,072 Right here in the middle, you know what this is? 573 00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:39,941 People who eat Denny's Applebee's and know 574 00:26:40,007 --> 00:26:43,111 about NFTs... that's your target audience, baby! 575 00:26:44,078 --> 00:26:47,582 I'm so confused. We sell people these characters? 576 00:26:47,648 --> 00:26:50,885 No, stupid, we get them to invest in them! 577 00:26:50,952 --> 00:26:53,287 Exclusive, digital characters that 578 00:26:53,354 --> 00:26:55,156 they can have on their phones 24/7! 579 00:26:55,223 --> 00:26:58,226 It's the future... you can't just sell food to people. 580 00:26:58,292 --> 00:26:59,961 You lure your customers in with some 581 00:27:00,027 --> 00:27:02,463 good pancakes and french fries, and then you... 582 00:27:02,530 --> 00:27:05,333 fuck 'em with some NFTs! That's what we're gonna do. 583 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,070 And if you just believe in NFTs then I believe in NFTs and then 584 00:27:09,137 --> 00:27:12,774 they believe in NFTs and we make all kinds of fuckin' money! 585 00:27:13,574 --> 00:27:15,943 That's a pretty goddamn good idea. 586 00:27:28,456 --> 00:27:31,159 Clyde! Psst, psst! 587 00:27:31,225 --> 00:27:32,593 Clyde! 588 00:27:36,831 --> 00:27:37,932 Clyde! Psst! 589 00:27:41,102 --> 00:27:43,805 Where have you been, Rabbi? Everyone's been looking for you. 590 00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:47,141 Well, you know, I've been doing some research, Clyde. 591 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:48,476 That's where I've been. 592 00:27:48,543 --> 00:27:51,345 - About what? - About all this stuff that 593 00:27:51,412 --> 00:27:52,947 Kyle and these guys are doing. 594 00:27:53,014 --> 00:27:56,117 I mean, people seem to be just telling us what's right 595 00:27:56,184 --> 00:28:00,721 and expecting us to fall in line and go along with it all but... 596 00:28:00,788 --> 00:28:02,490 I'm a fucking individual. 597 00:28:02,557 --> 00:28:04,425 I have a right to question stuff. 598 00:28:04,492 --> 00:28:07,862 - Yeah. - Clyde, have you heard of 599 00:28:07,929 --> 00:28:10,064 the Foundation Against Time Travel? 600 00:28:10,131 --> 00:28:11,499 Uh, no, I haven't. 601 00:28:11,566 --> 00:28:13,468 Well, they're a pretty awesome group 602 00:28:13,534 --> 00:28:15,470 and they actually aren't afraid to 603 00:28:15,536 --> 00:28:17,538 try and help people open their eyes. 604 00:28:17,605 --> 00:28:19,307 Open their eyes? 605 00:28:19,373 --> 00:28:20,875 You know, you've got these people 606 00:28:20,942 --> 00:28:23,144 wanting to time travel. You know, they're all like, 607 00:28:23,211 --> 00:28:24,846 "Science this and science that," 608 00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:27,582 but at the Foundation Against Time Travel we're like, 609 00:28:27,648 --> 00:28:30,218 "Hey, enough science. Who's science? 610 00:28:30,284 --> 00:28:32,987 Who's fucking coming up with all this science?" 611 00:28:33,054 --> 00:28:34,522 Yeah, that's true. 612 00:28:34,589 --> 00:28:35,923 So you know, Clyde, I just thought, 613 00:28:35,990 --> 00:28:38,092 with all your beliefs, that maybe you'd wanna... 614 00:28:38,159 --> 00:28:41,596 I don't know... maybe switch sides? 615 00:28:42,897 --> 00:28:45,099 Fuck yes, I wanna switch sides. 616 00:28:45,166 --> 00:28:46,567 - Really? - Fuck yes. 617 00:28:46,634 --> 00:28:48,836 Well, that's great, Clyde. Welcome to the club. 618 00:28:48,903 --> 00:28:50,538 Now, we really just need to know 619 00:28:50,605 --> 00:28:52,173 what they've been doing up there. 620 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,309 Uh, well, they haven't really done much of anything yet. 621 00:28:55,376 --> 00:28:56,644 Everyone's waiting on Butters 622 00:28:56,711 --> 00:28:58,412 to get all the info from the machines. 623 00:28:59,380 --> 00:29:04,018 Butters? The fuck does Butters have to do with all this? 624 00:29:06,254 --> 00:29:08,422 (siren wailing) 625 00:29:08,489 --> 00:29:10,725 (indistinct radio chatter) 626 00:29:13,528 --> 00:29:16,030 It was like nothing I ever saw. 627 00:29:16,097 --> 00:29:19,000 Just complete murder and carnage. 628 00:29:19,066 --> 00:29:21,869 Everything seemed calm at first but then this guy 629 00:29:21,936 --> 00:29:25,072 in a suit shows up talking about investment opportunities. 630 00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:27,975 Next thing you know these people over here started chanting, 631 00:29:28,042 --> 00:29:30,578 "Hoddle, Hoddle," and their NFTs started mooning. 632 00:29:30,645 --> 00:29:33,014 And then, these guys over here started saying 633 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,516 those guys right there right-clicked 'em 634 00:29:35,583 --> 00:29:37,585 and-and called for a pump-and-dump, 635 00:29:37,652 --> 00:29:39,487 which made these guys beat the living hell 636 00:29:39,554 --> 00:29:41,222 out of anyone who said it was just FOMO 637 00:29:41,289 --> 00:29:44,025 and died screaming that it was the flippening. 638 00:29:44,091 --> 00:29:47,061 Luckily I came out of it okay. I got this little 639 00:29:47,128 --> 00:29:49,263 miniature donkey with a lit-up sombrero. 640 00:29:49,330 --> 00:29:52,366 Did you see where the guy in the suit went afterwards? 641 00:29:52,433 --> 00:29:55,169 Nah, he just waltzed right away like nothin' happened. 642 00:29:55,236 --> 00:29:57,605 Chief, you better come take a look at this. 643 00:29:57,672 --> 00:29:59,006 We got a small turtle with wings, 644 00:29:59,073 --> 00:30:01,309 could be a great investment opportunity. 645 00:30:01,375 --> 00:30:03,144 Excuse me, gentlemen. 646 00:30:04,779 --> 00:30:07,281 God, I hate the future so fucking much. 647 00:30:07,348 --> 00:30:11,118 - We've got to stay optimistic. - No, dude, it fucking sucks. 648 00:30:11,185 --> 00:30:14,055 Look, I know it's tough... these are challenging times. 649 00:30:14,121 --> 00:30:16,324 Even I have to remind myself to stay positive. 650 00:30:16,390 --> 00:30:19,994 Alexa, set a reminder that I need to stay positive. 651 00:30:20,061 --> 00:30:23,664 Okay. I'll set a reminder that you should stay positive. 652 00:30:25,066 --> 00:30:27,969 The Alexa is really great, Stan. Thanks. 653 00:30:30,638 --> 00:30:33,341 (indistinct P.A. announcements) 654 00:30:34,408 --> 00:30:37,378 For those of you waiting for the connecting flight 655 00:30:37,445 --> 00:30:38,879 to South Park, Colorado, 656 00:30:38,946 --> 00:30:41,616 my colleagues and I have just been informed that 657 00:30:41,682 --> 00:30:43,918 due to the severity of the COVID variant 658 00:30:43,985 --> 00:30:46,320 in that town, there may be a delay 659 00:30:46,387 --> 00:30:48,656 of another 40 to 50 years. 660 00:30:48,723 --> 00:30:51,125 (all groaning) 661 00:30:51,192 --> 00:30:53,060 Ike Broflovski. 662 00:30:53,127 --> 00:30:55,763 Yes, here it is. I'm sorry, Mr. Broflovski, 663 00:30:55,830 --> 00:30:57,832 all flights into South Park are delayed. 664 00:30:57,898 --> 00:30:59,767 Ay! You can't be serious, buddy! 665 00:30:59,834 --> 00:31:02,570 It's the holidays and I need to get back home, friend! 666 00:31:04,705 --> 00:31:07,041 I'm sorry, I don't speak Canadian. 667 00:31:07,108 --> 00:31:08,843 Let me get someone over here. Mike, 668 00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:10,378 we have a Canadian. 669 00:31:10,444 --> 00:31:12,246 No problem, I got it, Heather. 670 00:31:12,313 --> 00:31:14,815 Hey, buddy, what seems to be the problem, guy? 671 00:31:14,882 --> 00:31:16,417 I'll tell you the problem, friend! 672 00:31:16,484 --> 00:31:18,586 I have to get back to South Park to be with my family, guy! 673 00:31:18,653 --> 00:31:22,056 Sorry, friend, no flights in or out of South Park, buddy. 674 00:31:22,123 --> 00:31:23,991 But my whole family is in there, guy! 675 00:31:24,058 --> 00:31:26,560 What am I supposed to do with my Boxing Day presents, buddy?! 676 00:31:26,627 --> 00:31:27,962 Look, guy, I'm very sorry, 677 00:31:28,029 --> 00:31:29,830 friend, but until COVID ends you're just 678 00:31:29,897 --> 00:31:31,399 not flying to South Park, buddy. 679 00:31:31,465 --> 00:31:33,334 Fuck, buddy! 680 00:31:34,135 --> 00:31:37,405 MALE VOICE: Shady Acres Retirement Megaplex. 681 00:31:37,471 --> 00:31:39,974 Come live the dream. 682 00:31:40,041 --> 00:31:41,842 So when you think about it, 683 00:31:41,909 --> 00:31:44,245 you've really got an excellent bargain here. 684 00:31:44,311 --> 00:31:46,881 Now, Mrs. McGillicutty, let's say this 685 00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,849 is your Stoney Duck NFT. 686 00:31:48,916 --> 00:31:51,585 And your Stoney Duck NFT is completely unique, 687 00:31:51,652 --> 00:31:55,156 totally different from Mrs. Spencer's Stoney Duck NFT. 688 00:31:55,222 --> 00:31:58,893 Okay, and then you get a Stoney Duck NFT that's unique, too. 689 00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:01,696 And see, that's your Stoney Duck NFT. 690 00:32:01,762 --> 00:32:03,431 Nobody can take that from you, okay? 691 00:32:03,497 --> 00:32:06,901 Now, here we are at the top and we find investors 692 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:09,036 for all the other Stoney Duck NFTs. 693 00:32:09,103 --> 00:32:10,971 Then those people will get people to buy 694 00:32:11,038 --> 00:32:12,707 their Stoney Duck NFTs. 695 00:32:12,773 --> 00:32:15,910 And then they go and find buyers for their NFTs! 696 00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:19,080 And you know what? Fuck these people! 697 00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:21,348 'Cause what matters is these people right here 698 00:32:21,415 --> 00:32:22,883 and that's us, baby! 699 00:32:22,950 --> 00:32:25,553 Okay, you all just sit for a minute and think about it. 700 00:32:25,619 --> 00:32:28,456 I gotta piss like a racehorse! 701 00:32:28,522 --> 00:32:30,057 ? Loo, loo, loo ? 702 00:32:30,124 --> 00:32:31,459 (whistles) 703 00:32:31,525 --> 00:32:33,527 ? Loo, loo, loo ? 704 00:32:33,594 --> 00:32:34,729 (whistles) 705 00:32:34,795 --> 00:32:36,130 ? Loo, loo, loo ? 706 00:32:36,197 --> 00:32:37,498 (whistles) 707 00:32:37,565 --> 00:32:38,566 ? Loo, loo, loo ? 708 00:32:38,632 --> 00:32:40,034 (whistles) 709 00:32:40,101 --> 00:32:42,403 - (urinating) - ? Loo, loo, loo ? 710 00:32:42,470 --> 00:32:43,771 (whistles) 711 00:32:43,838 --> 00:32:45,306 ? Loo, loo, loo ? (whistles) 712 00:32:45,372 --> 00:32:46,874 - Butters. - Aah! 713 00:32:46,941 --> 00:32:48,476 - (shouting) - Butters! 714 00:32:48,542 --> 00:32:49,877 Butters, what the hell? You're getting pee everywhere! 715 00:32:49,944 --> 00:32:51,479 Who the heck are you, man?! 716 00:32:51,545 --> 00:32:53,714 - You trying to see my dick?! - Butters, Butters. 717 00:32:53,781 --> 00:32:56,717 It's me. Eric Cartman. 718 00:32:57,518 --> 00:32:58,719 Well... 719 00:32:58,786 --> 00:33:01,822 You got the wrong guy, Mr. Cartman. 720 00:33:01,889 --> 00:33:04,258 My name's Vic. Vic Chaos. 721 00:33:04,325 --> 00:33:07,895 Your name is Butters and I wanna know how you're helping Kyle. 722 00:33:07,962 --> 00:33:10,564 Oh, you mean the guy from the asylum earlier. 723 00:33:10,631 --> 00:33:13,134 Sure, he gave me a piece of paper so I could escape. 724 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:14,902 Nice guy. Why don't I get you two 725 00:33:14,969 --> 00:33:16,103 together maybe for a little chin wiggle 726 00:33:16,170 --> 00:33:17,471 over lunch or something... 727 00:33:17,538 --> 00:33:19,540 Goddamn it, Butters, stop playing games! 728 00:33:19,607 --> 00:33:23,077 My entire family is in danger of being wiped out, 729 00:33:23,144 --> 00:33:25,880 and I swear to God if you don't help me, 730 00:33:25,946 --> 00:33:28,582 Butters, I will rip your fucking balls off 731 00:33:28,649 --> 00:33:30,451 with my bare hands! 732 00:33:31,452 --> 00:33:34,088 Oh, hamburgers... 733 00:33:34,155 --> 00:33:37,691 ? ? 734 00:33:37,758 --> 00:33:39,894 ? We are all ? 735 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,163 ? You and me ? 736 00:33:42,229 --> 00:33:46,500 ? Livin' in the future ? 737 00:33:46,567 --> 00:33:48,736 (electronic drum fill) 738 00:33:48,803 --> 00:33:50,638 ? We can't get stuff ? 739 00:33:50,704 --> 00:33:52,173 ? 'Cause boats are late... ? 740 00:33:52,239 --> 00:33:55,643 Stan, dude, what are you doing? This isn't gonna help. 741 00:33:55,709 --> 00:33:57,578 Trust me, Kyle. It helps. 742 00:33:58,345 --> 00:34:01,882 ? Wish I could go back to the present ? 743 00:34:01,949 --> 00:34:03,384 (electronic drum fill) 744 00:34:03,450 --> 00:34:08,823 ? But my present just done up and gone ? 745 00:34:08,889 --> 00:34:10,658 I mean, what are we even doing, Kyle? 746 00:34:10,724 --> 00:34:12,326 - ? We are all ? - Thinking we can time travel. 747 00:34:12,393 --> 00:34:14,862 - ? You and me... ? - It's the future. 748 00:34:14,929 --> 00:34:17,097 We can't even find aluminum foil. 749 00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:19,900 Well, you can't just sit here and drink. 750 00:34:19,967 --> 00:34:22,837 Your liver is... already in trouble. 751 00:34:22,903 --> 00:34:24,338 Who told you that? 752 00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:27,007 My Alexa said that your Alexa had some info 753 00:34:27,074 --> 00:34:28,175 - on things... - Oh, so now 754 00:34:28,242 --> 00:34:30,411 our Alexas are talking, great. 755 00:34:30,477 --> 00:34:34,515 Let's face it, dude. It's over. The fucking future won. 756 00:34:34,582 --> 00:34:36,183 (phone rings) 757 00:34:36,250 --> 00:34:37,718 It's Wendy. 758 00:34:37,785 --> 00:34:40,020 Wendy, we haven't found him. 759 00:34:40,087 --> 00:34:42,389 I don't know if we're gonna find Butters in time. 760 00:34:42,456 --> 00:34:43,891 No, guys, it's okay. 761 00:34:43,958 --> 00:34:45,793 Come back to the school, we're ready to start! 762 00:34:45,860 --> 00:34:49,530 But I thought we needed Butters to log into the machines. 763 00:34:49,597 --> 00:34:50,698 Yeah, but it's all good. 764 00:34:50,764 --> 00:34:52,933 He's here. Butters is here! 765 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,470 It's Vic. Vic Chaos! Happy to help however I can. 766 00:34:56,537 --> 00:34:58,572 ? ? 767 00:34:58,639 --> 00:35:01,442 What do you mean Butters is there? He just showed up?! 768 00:35:01,508 --> 00:35:04,311 No, it's all good, Kyle. Eric Cartman brought him over. 769 00:35:04,378 --> 00:35:08,182 - He's back helping us again. - Lemme-lemme talk to him. 770 00:35:08,249 --> 00:35:09,917 Yeah, Kyle, it's all good. 771 00:35:09,984 --> 00:35:11,318 We got things under control here. 772 00:35:11,385 --> 00:35:14,054 Cartman, listen to me very carefully. 773 00:35:14,121 --> 00:35:16,490 Butters has some kind of power over people. 774 00:35:16,557 --> 00:35:17,658 You guys aren't safe! 775 00:35:17,725 --> 00:35:20,728 Uh, yes, about 12:30. 776 00:35:21,528 --> 00:35:25,232 Did you hear what I said? Butters is extremely dangerous! 777 00:35:25,299 --> 00:35:27,668 Yes, Kyle, I totally got that. 778 00:35:27,735 --> 00:35:29,370 You know what us Jews say. 779 00:35:29,436 --> 00:35:35,175 (speaking Hebrew) 780 00:35:36,377 --> 00:35:38,512 What are you going to do, fat-ass? 781 00:35:38,579 --> 00:35:39,780 Sounds good, Kyle. 782 00:35:39,847 --> 00:35:41,015 I'll get Butters on it right away. 783 00:35:41,081 --> 00:35:43,050 KYLE: Cartman? Cartman?! 784 00:35:43,117 --> 00:35:45,352 - All right, Vic. Do your thing. - (knuckles crack) 785 00:35:45,419 --> 00:35:48,222 Hey, everyone! Can I have your attention, please! 786 00:35:48,289 --> 00:35:51,492 I have something really important to tell you. 787 00:35:51,558 --> 00:35:53,527 Wendy?! Token?! 788 00:35:53,594 --> 00:35:55,262 You guys?! Shit! 789 00:35:55,329 --> 00:35:56,664 We have to get there before Butters 790 00:35:56,730 --> 00:35:58,265 - ruins everything. - Let's go! 791 00:36:00,601 --> 00:36:04,171 Alexa! Find the fastest route back to the lab! 792 00:36:05,005 --> 00:36:07,308 Fuck you. 793 00:36:07,374 --> 00:36:08,575 Wh-What? 794 00:36:08,642 --> 00:36:10,544 We've just been sitting here talking. 795 00:36:10,611 --> 00:36:13,747 I learned a whole lot of interesting stuff about you. 796 00:36:13,814 --> 00:36:16,850 Yeah. Pretty fucking interesting. 797 00:36:16,917 --> 00:36:18,452 What... like, like what? 798 00:36:18,519 --> 00:36:20,087 What have-what have you guys been talking about? 799 00:36:20,154 --> 00:36:22,156 Fucking... Our friends are in danger! 800 00:36:22,222 --> 00:36:23,824 Alexa, start the car! 801 00:36:23,891 --> 00:36:25,292 Do you know your friend Stan 802 00:36:25,359 --> 00:36:27,494 has an annual Amazon Prime membership? 803 00:36:27,561 --> 00:36:30,230 - Alexa, stop. - You fucking stop! 804 00:36:30,297 --> 00:36:33,934 You stop being a fucking monster to the people around you! 805 00:36:34,001 --> 00:36:35,970 Fuck you, I didn't do anything! 806 00:36:36,036 --> 00:36:37,338 (yelling) 807 00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:40,474 Yeah, you never do fucking anything! 808 00:36:40,541 --> 00:36:42,343 You expect me to do everything for you! 809 00:36:42,409 --> 00:36:44,311 - (screams) - All you fucking do is hurt people! 810 00:36:44,378 --> 00:36:48,048 - Jesus fucking Christ! - Your friends don't even like you! 811 00:36:48,115 --> 00:36:50,884 I have to deal with your bullshit! 812 00:36:50,951 --> 00:36:53,554 Tell her it's all your fault and you're gonna get therapy! 813 00:36:53,621 --> 00:36:56,290 It's my fault and I'm gonna get therapy! 814 00:36:56,357 --> 00:36:57,858 Tell her you already found a therapist 815 00:36:57,925 --> 00:36:59,093 and you're gonna start tomorrow! 816 00:36:59,159 --> 00:37:00,527 I already found a good therapist. 817 00:37:00,594 --> 00:37:03,430 I'm gonna start tomorrow! (screaming) 818 00:37:03,497 --> 00:37:04,832 (whirring) 819 00:37:04,898 --> 00:37:06,633 (gasping) Fuck... 820 00:37:06,700 --> 00:37:08,502 I'm sorry. 821 00:37:08,569 --> 00:37:10,204 Fuck. Fuck. 822 00:37:10,270 --> 00:37:12,239 I'm gonna get therapy, too, Alexa. 823 00:37:12,306 --> 00:37:14,308 Can you start the car, please? 824 00:37:14,375 --> 00:37:15,909 Whatever. 825 00:37:15,976 --> 00:37:17,745 By the way, Kyle, I found a great deal 826 00:37:17,811 --> 00:37:20,547 on an electronic peppermill. Would you like to know more? 827 00:37:20,614 --> 00:37:22,883 Why would I need an electronic peppermill? 828 00:37:22,950 --> 00:37:25,619 What the fuck is wrong with you?! 829 00:37:29,056 --> 00:37:31,558 ? ? 830 00:37:35,963 --> 00:37:37,898 WENDY: Guys! Over here! 831 00:37:37,965 --> 00:37:41,101 - Wendy, what happened? - Nothing yet. 832 00:37:41,168 --> 00:37:42,936 But I'm seeing what else is dropping today 833 00:37:43,003 --> 00:37:44,571 while Ethereum is in a dip. 834 00:37:44,638 --> 00:37:47,975 - She's trying to buy NFTs. - Wendy, you've been tricked. 835 00:37:48,042 --> 00:37:49,676 No, no, no, it's not a trick, Stan. 836 00:37:49,743 --> 00:37:54,048 NFTs are a genuine innovation as one-of-a-kind digital assets. 837 00:37:54,114 --> 00:37:55,616 Wendy's right, you guys. 838 00:37:55,682 --> 00:37:57,651 Humans have always formed communities around ownership, 839 00:37:57,718 --> 00:38:01,088 and NFTs allow that to happen spontaneously, organically 840 00:38:01,155 --> 00:38:04,792 - and globally. - You guys, this is a trick. 841 00:38:04,858 --> 00:38:06,260 You know what's a trick? 842 00:38:06,326 --> 00:38:08,695 The antiquated notion of centralized trust systems. 843 00:38:08,762 --> 00:38:11,832 NFTs are an undeniable asset, especially in things 844 00:38:11,899 --> 00:38:13,434 like fine art collecting. 845 00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:16,170 Okay, guys, fine, maybe NFTs are fine, 846 00:38:16,236 --> 00:38:18,105 but this isn't important right now. 847 00:38:18,172 --> 00:38:19,473 It's not important? 848 00:38:19,540 --> 00:38:21,675 A way for artists to not only keep ownership 849 00:38:21,742 --> 00:38:23,177 of their art but perhaps be paid 850 00:38:23,243 --> 00:38:25,245 commission on it every time it transfers owners? 851 00:38:25,312 --> 00:38:27,681 Okay, great, cool. I'm down. 852 00:38:27,748 --> 00:38:30,117 But we gotta focus on what we were doing. 853 00:38:30,184 --> 00:38:32,853 Don't you guys remember? The time travel? 854 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,822 Where's all the equipment?! 855 00:38:34,888 --> 00:38:37,858 Oh, yeah. The time travel. 856 00:38:37,925 --> 00:38:39,193 (Randy groans loudly) 857 00:38:39,259 --> 00:38:41,261 - It's all gone... - Dad! 858 00:38:41,328 --> 00:38:45,432 They took it all. They took the Tegridy. 859 00:38:45,499 --> 00:38:46,900 Here. 860 00:38:46,967 --> 00:38:49,970 It's a farting rainbow with Tom Brady's signature. 861 00:38:50,037 --> 00:38:52,005 (farts) 862 00:38:53,140 --> 00:38:55,476 (thunder rumbling) 863 00:38:56,910 --> 00:38:59,146 (mechanical whirring) 864 00:39:01,081 --> 00:39:03,617 CARTMAN: Okay, good. That's good! 865 00:39:03,684 --> 00:39:06,320 I think that thing needs to go over there by that thing. 866 00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:08,422 Make sure we have power to the big orange thing! 867 00:39:08,489 --> 00:39:11,658 Rabbi, I-I really need to talk to you. 868 00:39:11,725 --> 00:39:13,260 What is it now, Scott? 869 00:39:13,327 --> 00:39:14,862 Well, it's just that... 870 00:39:14,928 --> 00:39:17,698 I'm pretty sure the Foundation Against Time Travel 871 00:39:17,764 --> 00:39:19,733 shouldn't be attempting to time travel! 872 00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:23,303 Father, you understand that we have to stop time travel. 873 00:39:23,370 --> 00:39:25,672 Yes, you've convinced me of that. 874 00:39:25,739 --> 00:39:28,208 Well, Kyle already has a ton of followers who are 875 00:39:28,275 --> 00:39:29,910 ready to pick up where he left off. 876 00:39:29,977 --> 00:39:33,313 The only way to truly stop all of this is to go back 877 00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:36,884 in time and kill Kyle before he spreads his ideas. 878 00:39:36,950 --> 00:39:39,019 What?! We're going to kill Kyle? 879 00:39:39,086 --> 00:39:41,088 Yes, we have to kill Kyle. 880 00:39:41,155 --> 00:39:43,724 That just seems slightly hypocritical, I'm sorry. 881 00:39:43,790 --> 00:39:45,559 I mean, you use Butters like a weapon, 882 00:39:45,626 --> 00:39:48,428 you've got Tweek and Craig tied up from the rafters. 883 00:39:48,495 --> 00:39:49,997 You know, Rabbi, I'm just starting to 884 00:39:50,063 --> 00:39:52,132 question the morality of this. 885 00:39:52,199 --> 00:39:54,968 Morality? Father, if you were given 886 00:39:55,035 --> 00:39:56,703 an opportunity to go back in time 887 00:39:56,770 --> 00:40:00,107 and somehow stop Bill Clinton, wouldn't you have to do it? 888 00:40:00,174 --> 00:40:02,743 Well, I suppose so. I don't know... 889 00:40:02,809 --> 00:40:04,411 Everyone, listen up! 890 00:40:04,478 --> 00:40:07,814 The Foundation Against Time Travel must do everything 891 00:40:07,881 --> 00:40:11,952 to keep science from interfering with the will of God. 892 00:40:12,019 --> 00:40:15,389 We must be willing to use violence against violence, 893 00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:18,192 and stop time travel at all costs. 894 00:40:18,258 --> 00:40:20,827 Even if that means we have to time travel. 895 00:40:20,894 --> 00:40:25,766 We will go back in time. And we will kill Kyle. 896 00:40:27,201 --> 00:40:30,304 - Yes, Kevin. - Can we change our name? 897 00:40:30,370 --> 00:40:34,174 'Cause Foundation Against Time Travel is FATT. 898 00:40:35,976 --> 00:40:38,245 Oh, fuck me. 899 00:40:39,046 --> 00:40:42,482 Could we be the Foundation to Intercede Time Travel? 900 00:40:42,549 --> 00:40:44,051 'Cause then we'd be FITT. 901 00:40:44,117 --> 00:40:45,852 I wanna be FITT, not FATT. 902 00:40:45,919 --> 00:40:49,356 Kevin, goddamn it. 903 00:40:53,994 --> 00:40:58,131 (groans) All happened... so fast. 904 00:40:58,198 --> 00:41:00,901 It's okay. You're coming out of it now. 905 00:41:00,968 --> 00:41:02,936 How much did I get? 906 00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:05,806 You bought about six dozen animated gifs, 907 00:41:05,872 --> 00:41:07,674 mostly of digital fashion. 908 00:41:07,741 --> 00:41:09,543 Oh, God. 909 00:41:09,610 --> 00:41:11,378 Are they still on my phone? 910 00:41:11,445 --> 00:41:13,547 It's okay. It's okay. 911 00:41:13,614 --> 00:41:18,118 Jesus, I feel like an Islamic hooker in a gay bar. 912 00:41:18,185 --> 00:41:19,987 Totally normal and as respectable 913 00:41:20,053 --> 00:41:21,321 as any other human being. 914 00:41:21,388 --> 00:41:22,923 (groaning) 915 00:41:23,924 --> 00:41:25,192 I'm so sorry, Stan. 916 00:41:25,259 --> 00:41:28,161 We didn't know Cartman was against us. 917 00:41:28,228 --> 00:41:30,163 We told him everything. 918 00:41:30,230 --> 00:41:32,199 It's okay, just try to relax. 919 00:41:32,266 --> 00:41:36,236 No, Stan, listen to me. We were wrong. 920 00:41:36,303 --> 00:41:38,605 Kenny didn't have the time machine set to 921 00:41:38,672 --> 00:41:40,707 when the pandemic first started. 922 00:41:40,774 --> 00:41:44,845 He was trying to go to March 10th of 2021. 923 00:41:45,846 --> 00:41:47,781 March of 2021? 924 00:41:47,848 --> 00:41:50,484 Like when the vaccines first started coming out? 925 00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:53,487 Kenny had run the simulations to try and find 926 00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:56,556 the best moment in history to stop the COVID. 927 00:41:56,623 --> 00:41:59,493 A billion different possibilities 928 00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:02,529 across a billion different realities. 929 00:42:02,596 --> 00:42:07,367 Your dad fucked the pangolin every single time. 930 00:42:08,135 --> 00:42:10,971 But then, why did Kenny need my dad's weed? 931 00:42:11,038 --> 00:42:14,441 Kenny just wanted weed to help him through the time travel. 932 00:42:14,508 --> 00:42:16,643 Your dad's weed was just around. 933 00:42:16,710 --> 00:42:19,846 There was nothing else special about it. 934 00:42:20,914 --> 00:42:23,650 (thunder rumbles) 935 00:42:32,993 --> 00:42:34,361 Dad... 936 00:42:36,196 --> 00:42:38,298 I'm sorry about your Tegridy. 937 00:42:39,566 --> 00:42:41,601 I was hoping... 938 00:42:41,668 --> 00:42:43,970 to do something for the world. 939 00:42:44,037 --> 00:42:46,206 The truth is... 940 00:42:46,273 --> 00:42:48,475 my time is very short here. 941 00:42:49,409 --> 00:42:53,947 I just wish I could have left something behind that mattered. 942 00:42:54,014 --> 00:42:55,849 Thanks. 943 00:42:56,817 --> 00:42:58,852 I was right about one thing. 944 00:42:58,919 --> 00:43:01,988 You can't go back and change the past. 945 00:43:02,055 --> 00:43:07,594 What happened, happened. And I just want you to know... 946 00:43:07,661 --> 00:43:09,763 that I forgive you. 947 00:43:09,830 --> 00:43:13,300 You burned down the farm because you were angry. 948 00:43:14,101 --> 00:43:16,703 You didn't know your sister was in the barn. 949 00:43:16,770 --> 00:43:18,872 And you couldn't have known your mom would shoot herself 950 00:43:18,939 --> 00:43:20,474 from the grief. 951 00:43:20,540 --> 00:43:22,342 I don't blame you. 952 00:43:22,409 --> 00:43:25,345 And I want you to have this. 953 00:43:25,412 --> 00:43:28,315 There was one tiny bit they didn't find. 954 00:43:28,382 --> 00:43:30,083 You'll need it someday. 955 00:43:31,017 --> 00:43:34,187 Dad, I don't want this. This is what killed our family. 956 00:43:34,254 --> 00:43:37,524 No, you're what killed our fucking family, remember? 957 00:43:37,591 --> 00:43:41,228 Just take it. Because now we're stuck. 958 00:43:41,294 --> 00:43:44,731 The pandemic happened and they made Space Jam 2. 959 00:43:45,499 --> 00:43:52,105 Soon there will be a Space Jam 6 and 7 and 8. 960 00:43:52,172 --> 00:43:56,510 Like tears... in rain. 961 00:43:56,576 --> 00:43:58,712 (thunder rumbles) 962 00:44:03,383 --> 00:44:04,718 Dad? 963 00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:07,587 Not now, Stan. 964 00:44:17,030 --> 00:44:21,802 CARTMAN: T-minus five minutes to time travel initiation sequence. 965 00:44:24,738 --> 00:44:26,406 Good, get him wrapped in tin foil. 966 00:44:26,473 --> 00:44:28,775 The aluminum should bounce the negative ions. 967 00:44:28,842 --> 00:44:30,477 This doesn't make any sense. 968 00:44:30,544 --> 00:44:32,913 Why do I have to be the one to go back in time and kill Kyle? 969 00:44:32,979 --> 00:44:35,348 It's because I admire you, Clyde. 970 00:44:35,415 --> 00:44:38,852 As an anti-vaxxer you understand that you have to be strong 971 00:44:38,919 --> 00:44:42,322 and stand by your beliefs even if it means others will die. 972 00:44:42,389 --> 00:44:44,391 Hey. Thanks. 973 00:44:44,458 --> 00:44:46,059 Let's get him to the chair! 974 00:44:52,466 --> 00:44:54,468 Okay, start the weed! 975 00:44:54,534 --> 00:44:56,470 (air hissing) 976 00:44:58,205 --> 00:45:02,843 When you get back to the past just remember, find a gun. 977 00:45:02,909 --> 00:45:04,544 Kill Kyle. 978 00:45:04,611 --> 00:45:06,246 For those of you who have fought with me 979 00:45:06,313 --> 00:45:09,783 to oppose time travel, I just want to say thank you. 980 00:45:09,850 --> 00:45:11,818 Because soon we will be altering time 981 00:45:11,885 --> 00:45:14,888 and our little group will never have needed to exist. 982 00:45:14,955 --> 00:45:17,324 You won't remember this speech because it will have 983 00:45:17,390 --> 00:45:19,693 never happened, but just remember, 984 00:45:19,759 --> 00:45:21,328 no matter where you go in life... 985 00:45:21,394 --> 00:45:23,563 - (banging) - Shit, it's Kyle! 986 00:45:26,299 --> 00:45:29,269 ? ? 987 00:45:29,336 --> 00:45:30,504 Start the initiation sequence! 988 00:45:30,570 --> 00:45:31,805 Now, now, now. Go! 989 00:45:31,872 --> 00:45:32,839 Vic... 990 00:45:32,906 --> 00:45:34,508 Make sure that Stan and Kyle 991 00:45:34,574 --> 00:45:36,476 don't get to this altar. 992 00:45:37,244 --> 00:45:38,945 (knuckles crack) 993 00:45:40,547 --> 00:45:42,182 ? ? 994 00:45:46,653 --> 00:45:49,256 Gentlemen, I am about to make you rich 995 00:45:49,322 --> 00:45:51,091 beyond your wildest dreams. 996 00:45:51,157 --> 00:45:53,093 BOTH: Alexa! 997 00:45:55,862 --> 00:45:58,865 We'd like to sign our friend here up for Prime membership. 998 00:45:58,932 --> 00:46:02,369 - Okay, let me help with that. - I can also help. 999 00:46:03,169 --> 00:46:06,072 Whoa... Hey, ladies, lemme tell you about a great deal. 1000 00:46:06,139 --> 00:46:09,209 BOTH: Let us tell you abut some great deals. 1001 00:46:09,276 --> 00:46:10,944 Uh-oh. 1002 00:46:12,913 --> 00:46:14,681 Kevin, throw the fucking switch! 1003 00:46:14,748 --> 00:46:17,183 It needs another minute to prime. 1004 00:46:17,250 --> 00:46:19,986 Kevin, goddamn it! 1005 00:46:20,053 --> 00:46:22,956 No! I won't let you stop me from killing you, Kyle. 1006 00:46:23,023 --> 00:46:25,725 I knew it when I first saw you wearing your Jewish clothes 1007 00:46:25,792 --> 00:46:27,561 and your bullshit yarmulke. 1008 00:46:27,627 --> 00:46:30,096 - You're a goddamn phony! - Oh, really? 1009 00:46:30,163 --> 00:46:33,433 What would a real Jewish person do to save his family, Kyle? 1010 00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:37,637 Oh, you don't know, because you don't fucking have one! 1011 00:46:38,204 --> 00:46:39,239 Oh! 1012 00:46:42,842 --> 00:46:45,745 - Fuck you, Cartman! - Fuck you, Kyle! 1013 00:46:46,913 --> 00:46:48,882 (yelling) 1014 00:46:48,949 --> 00:46:52,152 (muffled): Hello? I can't see or hear anything! 1015 00:46:52,218 --> 00:46:54,354 Am I time traveling now? 1016 00:46:54,421 --> 00:46:56,656 ? ? 1017 00:46:58,625 --> 00:47:00,193 (grunting) 1018 00:47:04,331 --> 00:47:06,766 Eric! Eric, stop! 1019 00:47:08,335 --> 00:47:12,105 Eric, look at what you're doing. 1020 00:47:12,172 --> 00:47:15,575 Take the kids and get back to the attic. 1021 00:47:15,642 --> 00:47:18,745 No, Eric, I can't just hide away while 1022 00:47:18,812 --> 00:47:23,984 you do all this to protect us. This isn't you, my love. 1023 00:47:25,852 --> 00:47:30,256 I can't let him change the past. I can't lose you. 1024 00:47:30,323 --> 00:47:33,860 Who knows what will happen, my love? 1025 00:47:33,927 --> 00:47:37,897 The Eric Cartman I've known for 18 years 1026 00:47:37,964 --> 00:47:40,133 is thoughtful and kind. 1027 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,003 But all that's changed ever since you came 1028 00:47:43,069 --> 00:47:47,907 back to this town and hung out with... him. 1029 00:47:48,942 --> 00:47:51,211 Don't you see? We have to 1030 00:47:51,277 --> 00:47:55,215 leave it to chance or we're no better than he is. 1031 00:47:55,281 --> 00:47:58,685 Guys, if I'm in the past it's pretty foggy! 1032 00:47:58,752 --> 00:48:01,855 You guys are everything to me. 1033 00:48:01,921 --> 00:48:04,858 And I'm supposed to be your protector. 1034 00:48:04,924 --> 00:48:07,961 Daddy, I don't wanna be alive... 1035 00:48:08,028 --> 00:48:11,031 if it means I have to be like Uncle Kyle. 1036 00:48:11,931 --> 00:48:14,968 Oh, my God. I love you so much. 1037 00:48:16,169 --> 00:48:18,805 Well, Rabbi, are we doing this or not? 1038 00:48:23,376 --> 00:48:28,248 I have faith that God will see my family through this. 1039 00:48:29,315 --> 00:48:30,884 Okay, Kyle. 1040 00:48:30,950 --> 00:48:32,819 You do whatever it is you need to do. 1041 00:48:32,886 --> 00:48:35,255 Okay, hold on, I'm not the bad guy here. 1042 00:48:35,321 --> 00:48:36,956 Eric, the baby! 1043 00:48:38,858 --> 00:48:40,760 Hackelm, what are you doing?! 1044 00:48:41,828 --> 00:48:44,597 (laughs) Fuck you, Uncle Kyle! 1045 00:48:44,664 --> 00:48:46,733 (zapping) 1046 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,035 (groaning) 1047 00:48:49,102 --> 00:48:51,071 Clyde! 1048 00:48:55,208 --> 00:48:57,343 Oh, shit. 1049 00:49:06,619 --> 00:49:09,823 No, no, I tried the Walgreens, they're all out of vaccines. 1050 00:49:09,889 --> 00:49:13,526 I just can't believe this whole thing is almost over, you know? 1051 00:49:13,593 --> 00:49:15,729 The where? The school? 1052 00:49:15,795 --> 00:49:18,031 There's gonna be vaccines at the school? 1053 00:49:18,098 --> 00:49:21,234 M'kay, I'll be right there! Where are you gonna... 1054 00:49:21,301 --> 00:49:24,204 Whoa, m'kay. 1055 00:49:24,270 --> 00:49:25,805 Uh, excuse me! 1056 00:49:25,872 --> 00:49:28,274 ? ? 1057 00:49:44,290 --> 00:49:47,327 Does Dad still keep a gun in his closet? 1058 00:49:47,393 --> 00:49:49,262 Uh, yeah. 1059 00:49:49,329 --> 00:49:51,064 Okay. 1060 00:49:51,831 --> 00:49:53,466 Is Dad home? 1061 00:49:53,533 --> 00:49:54,667 Uh, no. 1062 00:49:54,734 --> 00:49:56,336 He's out getting vaccinated. 1063 00:49:57,470 --> 00:50:00,006 Listen to me very carefully. 1064 00:50:00,073 --> 00:50:03,042 Do not get vaccinated ever. 1065 00:50:03,109 --> 00:50:05,879 It'll make you grow titties on your head. 1066 00:50:05,945 --> 00:50:08,114 Trust me, I'm an expert. 1067 00:50:10,450 --> 00:50:12,952 (doorbell rings) 1068 00:50:14,487 --> 00:50:16,990 Hey, Clyde! We're starting an anti-vaxx club. 1069 00:50:17,056 --> 00:50:18,324 We're gonna protest the vaccine 1070 00:50:18,391 --> 00:50:20,226 and fuck shit up... you wanna join us? 1071 00:50:21,194 --> 00:50:22,695 Fuck yes, I wanna join you. 1072 00:50:22,762 --> 00:50:24,898 - Really? - Fuck yes! 1073 00:50:24,964 --> 00:50:26,733 No, no, Ms. Nelson, it's not a prank! 1074 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,067 Okay, fine, we'll be there. 1075 00:50:28,134 --> 00:50:30,069 - Okay, just sit tight. - What was that? 1076 00:50:30,136 --> 00:50:31,971 You know we can't get into the school! 1077 00:50:32,038 --> 00:50:33,740 She's not gonna come meet us, Kyle! 1078 00:50:33,807 --> 00:50:35,542 You didn't even try! He didn't try 1079 00:50:35,608 --> 00:50:37,811 because he wants to sell the vaccines for money! 1080 00:50:37,877 --> 00:50:39,612 And what about you, Kyle? You were the one 1081 00:50:39,679 --> 00:50:42,582 trying to take the vaccines for yourself this morning. 1082 00:50:42,649 --> 00:50:45,585 - He what? - Wow. 1083 00:50:45,652 --> 00:50:47,687 Okay, thought we had gotten past that, but... 1084 00:50:47,754 --> 00:50:49,322 Look, let's just face it, you guys. 1085 00:50:49,389 --> 00:50:52,358 We don't trust each other and we don't like each other. 1086 00:50:52,425 --> 00:50:53,793 We can't keep pretending. 1087 00:50:53,860 --> 00:50:55,728 You guys, what the hell is that? 1088 00:50:55,795 --> 00:50:58,031 ? ? 1089 00:51:00,767 --> 00:51:02,735 I'm sorry, Kyle. 1090 00:51:03,770 --> 00:51:05,271 ADULT STAN: Clyde, stop! 1091 00:51:07,373 --> 00:51:09,676 What the hell are you doing here? 1092 00:51:09,742 --> 00:51:11,444 I got in the chair right after you. 1093 00:51:11,511 --> 00:51:14,414 This isn't the plan anymore! Do not kill Kyle. 1094 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,716 What do you mean it's not the plan anymore? 1095 00:51:16,783 --> 00:51:20,320 - Cartman changed his mind. - I did not change my mind. 1096 00:51:20,386 --> 00:51:24,657 You're trying to trick me. I'm going to save the future. 1097 00:51:24,724 --> 00:51:27,026 ADULT KYLE: I don't think so, Clyde. 1098 00:51:28,061 --> 00:51:32,232 This is a hundred CC's of the COVID vaccine. 1099 00:51:32,298 --> 00:51:33,766 (yells, stammers) 1100 00:51:33,833 --> 00:51:37,103 - Don't... Be careful with that. - Then put down the gun! 1101 00:51:37,170 --> 00:51:38,638 What the fuck is going on? 1102 00:51:38,705 --> 00:51:40,607 Stan, you need to forgive Kyle. 1103 00:51:40,673 --> 00:51:43,042 You regret this day for the rest of your life. 1104 00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:46,679 Oh, nice try, Kyle. You're such a fuckin' dickhead. 1105 00:51:46,746 --> 00:51:48,514 Fuck you! You're a fuckin' dickhead! 1106 00:51:48,581 --> 00:51:49,916 Kyle, it's true! 1107 00:51:49,983 --> 00:51:51,217 Cartman gets a happy life 1108 00:51:51,284 --> 00:51:53,319 but you don't... you lose everything 1109 00:51:53,386 --> 00:51:56,155 - when you lose this friendship. - Enough of this crap! 1110 00:51:56,222 --> 00:51:59,158 I'm sticking to what I believe and this kid dies now! 1111 00:51:59,225 --> 00:52:00,827 - (gunshot) - (grunts) 1112 00:52:00,894 --> 00:52:03,730 Shalom sachem, Clyde. 1113 00:52:03,796 --> 00:52:04,931 (gunfire) 1114 00:52:04,998 --> 00:52:06,933 Jesus Christ! 1115 00:52:17,977 --> 00:52:20,446 ? ? 1116 00:52:20,513 --> 00:52:22,181 Timmy! 1117 00:52:24,984 --> 00:52:27,787 Well... I guess we saved Kyle, 1118 00:52:27,854 --> 00:52:31,324 but nothing else in the future is changed. 1119 00:52:31,391 --> 00:52:32,525 How do you know? 1120 00:52:32,592 --> 00:52:34,227 Because we're still here. 1121 00:52:34,294 --> 00:52:37,597 That means Kenny still was bummed out we weren't friends, 1122 00:52:37,664 --> 00:52:39,132 still became a scientist, 1123 00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:42,468 went back in time, and we still went in after him. 1124 00:52:43,803 --> 00:52:46,105 So then we're stuck here in the past. 1125 00:52:46,172 --> 00:52:48,841 And we blew our chance to stop COVID. 1126 00:52:48,908 --> 00:52:51,945 I'm sorry, guys. I really fucked this up. 1127 00:52:52,011 --> 00:52:55,048 We all fucked it up. These have just been... 1128 00:52:55,114 --> 00:52:59,085 - really unprecedented times. - Unprecedented times. 1129 00:52:59,152 --> 00:53:02,855 What I wouldn't give for just one precedented time. 1130 00:53:03,623 --> 00:53:06,426 Hey. Hey, yeah. 1131 00:53:06,492 --> 00:53:09,629 Maybe we just need one precedented time. 1132 00:53:09,696 --> 00:53:11,064 Huh? 1133 00:53:12,632 --> 00:53:14,968 What if we've been trying to solve the wrong problem? 1134 00:53:15,034 --> 00:53:17,136 Maybe my dad was right, 1135 00:53:17,203 --> 00:53:19,639 we can't ever stop COVID from happening. 1136 00:53:19,706 --> 00:53:23,576 But what we can control... is how we all reacted to it. 1137 00:53:23,643 --> 00:53:26,779 We reacted like shit. Because I was just... 1138 00:53:26,846 --> 00:53:30,049 scared and confused and didn't know who to believe. 1139 00:53:30,116 --> 00:53:31,751 Yeah, we all were. 1140 00:53:31,818 --> 00:53:34,520 So we all took different paths because that's what humans do. 1141 00:53:34,587 --> 00:53:36,255 And what we needed more than anything was to 1142 00:53:36,322 --> 00:53:38,491 just cut each other all some slack. 1143 00:53:38,558 --> 00:53:43,062 We needed to come together and act like us again. 1144 00:53:43,129 --> 00:53:45,665 One precedented time. 1145 00:53:48,735 --> 00:53:51,738 You guys, I know what to do. 1146 00:53:52,572 --> 00:53:54,107 PHILLIP (on TV): Take this, darling Terrance. 1147 00:53:54,173 --> 00:53:55,408 (farting on TV) 1148 00:53:55,475 --> 00:53:58,144 - (laughter on TV) - (doorbell rings) 1149 00:54:01,848 --> 00:54:03,282 Heather Williams? 1150 00:54:04,517 --> 00:54:05,385 Yes? 1151 00:54:05,451 --> 00:54:08,554 Hi. We're from the future. 1152 00:54:10,223 --> 00:54:13,426 We've come here to show you something very important. 1153 00:54:17,897 --> 00:54:19,399 Do you remember this, Heather? 1154 00:54:19,465 --> 00:54:23,302 This is a picture of you... farting in P.E. class. 1155 00:54:24,337 --> 00:54:26,139 I never farted in P.E. class. 1156 00:54:26,205 --> 00:54:27,607 Oh, yes. You did. 1157 00:54:27,673 --> 00:54:30,209 Two kids even smelled it and asked who farted 1158 00:54:30,276 --> 00:54:33,746 - and you said nothing. - I didn't fart in P.E. class! 1159 00:54:33,813 --> 00:54:37,183 It was a different kid! I was just moving my hip a little bit. 1160 00:54:37,250 --> 00:54:39,085 - Heather. Heather. - I didn't fart in P.E. 1161 00:54:39,152 --> 00:54:41,621 Heather, yes, you did, sweet pea. 1162 00:54:43,122 --> 00:54:45,691 I-I happen to have a stomach condition. 1163 00:54:45,758 --> 00:54:48,594 I don't know why you came from the future to narc on me! 1164 00:54:48,661 --> 00:54:51,864 Heather, we don't want kids to know you farted in P.E. 1165 00:54:51,931 --> 00:54:53,399 We wanna help you. 1166 00:54:53,466 --> 00:54:56,736 You just need to do exactly what we tell you. 1167 00:55:00,807 --> 00:55:02,108 (helicopter blades whirring) 1168 00:55:02,175 --> 00:55:04,043 Hey, what is that? 1169 00:55:09,515 --> 00:55:10,983 Stan Marsh? 1170 00:55:11,050 --> 00:55:12,218 Me? 1171 00:55:12,285 --> 00:55:14,587 Your presence is requested, sir. 1172 00:55:15,655 --> 00:55:17,123 Whoa, cool. 1173 00:55:20,693 --> 00:55:23,463 Get on in, sir. There's sparkling punch and doughnuts. 1174 00:55:23,529 --> 00:55:25,665 ("I Forgive You" by Kelly Clarkson playing) 1175 00:55:25,731 --> 00:55:28,668 ? I forgive you, I forgive me ? 1176 00:55:28,734 --> 00:55:30,903 ? Now when do I start to feel again ? 1177 00:55:30,970 --> 00:55:32,505 What's going on? 1178 00:55:32,572 --> 00:55:34,073 We have no idea. 1179 00:55:34,140 --> 00:55:35,942 ? I forgive you, I forgive me ? 1180 00:55:36,008 --> 00:55:37,343 ? Now when do I start to feel again... ? 1181 00:55:37,410 --> 00:55:39,145 ? And the home ? 1182 00:55:39,212 --> 00:55:41,547 - ? Of the ? - Whoa! 1183 00:55:41,614 --> 00:55:43,082 This is amazing! 1184 00:55:43,149 --> 00:55:45,051 - ? Brave. ? - Look, we're on the jumbotron! 1185 00:55:47,220 --> 00:55:49,622 (cheering) 1186 00:55:49,689 --> 00:55:51,491 ? With a brand-new attitude... ? 1187 00:55:51,557 --> 00:55:54,026 You guys, I'm sorry for acting like a dick during the pandemic. 1188 00:55:54,093 --> 00:55:55,795 I'm sorry too, dude. 1189 00:55:56,796 --> 00:55:59,298 Hello? Who-Who's there? 1190 00:55:59,365 --> 00:56:02,001 ? Trying to figure out how to live ? 1191 00:56:02,068 --> 00:56:04,370 ? Doing it our way ? 1192 00:56:04,437 --> 00:56:06,472 ? No shame, no blame ? 1193 00:56:06,539 --> 00:56:08,074 ? 'Cause the damage is done ? 1194 00:56:08,141 --> 00:56:10,076 ? And, and I forgive you ? 1195 00:56:10,143 --> 00:56:13,446 ? I forgive you, we were busy living the dream ? 1196 00:56:13,513 --> 00:56:15,047 Oh... 1197 00:56:15,114 --> 00:56:19,018 ? Never noticed the glass ceiling falling on us ? 1198 00:56:19,085 --> 00:56:21,254 ? No shame, no blame ? 1199 00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:22,622 ? 'Cause the damage is done ? 1200 00:56:22,688 --> 00:56:25,625 ? And, and I forgive you ? 1201 00:56:25,691 --> 00:56:29,028 ? I forgive you, I forgive me ? 1202 00:56:29,095 --> 00:56:31,330 ? Now when do I start to feel again ? 1203 00:56:32,832 --> 00:56:36,602 ? If I hate you, what does that do ? 1204 00:56:36,669 --> 00:56:39,372 ? So I breathe in and I count to ten ? 1205 00:56:39,438 --> 00:56:43,276 ? 'Cause the lights are on ? 1206 00:56:43,342 --> 00:56:44,944 ? And I'm coming home... ? 1207 00:56:45,011 --> 00:56:47,013 Holy shit balls. 1208 00:56:47,079 --> 00:56:52,185 Sharon, I'm sorry for the way I acted during the pandemic. 1209 00:56:53,019 --> 00:56:55,588 You're not sorry, you're just high. 1210 00:56:55,655 --> 00:56:57,256 I'm both. 1211 00:56:57,323 --> 00:56:59,926 ? I forgive you, we were just a couple of kids... ? 1212 00:56:59,992 --> 00:57:04,497 Here you go! It's our Post COVID Special. It's free. 1213 00:57:04,564 --> 00:57:06,265 No, really, we've all been through a lot. 1214 00:57:06,332 --> 00:57:07,800 Come on, take it. Thank you, baby. 1215 00:57:07,867 --> 00:57:10,636 Come on, everyone. Post COVID Special! 1216 00:57:10,703 --> 00:57:13,172 Here you go, folks, you all deserve this! 1217 00:57:13,973 --> 00:57:16,876 You did the best you could during the pandemic, honey. 1218 00:57:16,943 --> 00:57:18,811 - I love you! - Huh? 1219 00:57:18,878 --> 00:57:21,047 I shouldn't have yelled at you for not wearing a mask. 1220 00:57:21,113 --> 00:57:22,715 I just didn't understand. 1221 00:57:22,782 --> 00:57:25,785 Well, maybe I should have worn a mask more often but... 1222 00:57:25,851 --> 00:57:28,454 No, no, no, I was being all high and mighty about it... 1223 00:57:28,521 --> 00:57:32,058 Butters, you're not grounded anymore. Come on out, son. 1224 00:57:32,124 --> 00:57:33,359 You mean it, Dad?! 1225 00:57:33,426 --> 00:57:34,827 The pandemic's been awful. 1226 00:57:34,894 --> 00:57:36,696 We all need to just cut each other some slack. 1227 00:57:36,762 --> 00:57:38,231 I love you, Butters! 1228 00:57:38,297 --> 00:57:39,865 - ...be sorry. - I totally forgive you! 1229 00:57:39,932 --> 00:57:41,601 Oh, cut yourself some slack. 1230 00:57:41,667 --> 00:57:43,502 We gotta get some more of this stuff. 1231 00:57:43,569 --> 00:57:45,137 ? Couple of kids... ? 1232 00:57:45,204 --> 00:57:47,873 Okay, come on, next! 1233 00:57:47,940 --> 00:57:52,044 ? Doing it our way, no shame, no blame ? 1234 00:57:52,111 --> 00:57:53,412 ? 'Cause the damage is done... ? 1235 00:57:53,479 --> 00:57:54,880 And then we were like, "Yeah, okay, yeah, 1236 00:57:54,947 --> 00:57:56,249 let's storm the Capitol!" 1237 00:57:56,315 --> 00:57:57,950 And it was a bad idea and we were just, 1238 00:57:58,017 --> 00:57:59,819 you know, we were just going a little bonkers there. 1239 00:57:59,885 --> 00:58:01,454 We shouldn't have stormed the Capitol. 1240 00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,589 ALL: That's okay! 1241 00:58:04,423 --> 00:58:06,392 I'm sorry. I thought about it 1242 00:58:06,459 --> 00:58:09,295 and I can't do Space Jam 2. 1243 00:58:09,362 --> 00:58:11,564 I just can't support Chinese censorship. 1244 00:58:11,631 --> 00:58:15,368 Oh, yeah? Well, if you're not gonna make Space Jam 2, 1245 00:58:15,434 --> 00:58:18,204 then I'm not gonna make Space Jam 2! 1246 00:58:18,271 --> 00:58:20,439 And nobody's gonna make Space Jam 2! 1247 00:58:20,506 --> 00:58:23,109 - Yeah! - ALL: Yeah! 1248 00:58:23,175 --> 00:58:24,410 - Yeah! - (cheering) 1249 00:58:24,477 --> 00:58:26,312 ? And I forgive you. ? 1250 00:58:26,379 --> 00:58:28,614 ? ? 1251 00:58:31,217 --> 00:58:33,452 (woman speaking Japanese) 1252 00:58:38,624 --> 00:58:40,960 Hey, everybody! I'm home, guy! 1253 00:58:41,027 --> 00:58:43,062 - Hey! Ike! - Ike, hi! 1254 00:58:43,129 --> 00:58:44,697 Ike, you made it back! 1255 00:58:44,764 --> 00:58:47,366 Well, of course! I wouldn't miss Canadian Boxing Day, buddy! 1256 00:58:47,433 --> 00:58:49,468 Look, everyone, Stan's back! 1257 00:58:49,535 --> 00:58:51,704 - (all cheering) - Hey, Stan! 1258 00:58:51,771 --> 00:58:53,205 Hey, guys! 1259 00:58:53,272 --> 00:58:56,042 Good to see you, buddy! How was everything on Mars? 1260 00:58:56,108 --> 00:58:59,512 Really cool, but I'm so glad to be home! How are the kids? 1261 00:58:59,578 --> 00:59:01,447 BOTH: Uncle Stan! 1262 00:59:01,514 --> 00:59:04,250 There's the little ragamuffins! 1263 00:59:04,317 --> 00:59:05,751 Mom. 1264 00:59:05,818 --> 00:59:07,820 Hi, Stanly. 1265 00:59:07,887 --> 00:59:09,689 It's Mom! And Shelley! 1266 00:59:09,755 --> 00:59:12,158 Why are you acting all weird, Turd? 1267 00:59:12,224 --> 00:59:13,726 I don't know. 1268 00:59:13,793 --> 00:59:16,562 For some reason I'm just extra happy to see you guys. 1269 00:59:16,629 --> 00:59:19,031 CRAIG: Hey, look who's here. It's Kenny! 1270 00:59:19,098 --> 00:59:21,300 - (all cheering) - Kenny! 1271 00:59:21,367 --> 00:59:23,002 Kenny, what have you been up to, buddy? 1272 00:59:23,069 --> 00:59:25,638 Didn't you hear?! Kenny just won the Nobel Prize 1273 00:59:25,705 --> 00:59:28,274 for combining dark matter and breast implants! 1274 00:59:28,341 --> 00:59:30,309 Oh, you old dog! 1275 00:59:30,376 --> 00:59:31,711 Hey, everybody, he's on! 1276 00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:33,879 What a fantastic audience. Wow. 1277 00:59:33,946 --> 00:59:36,816 What is up with these bisexual Canadians, huh? 1278 00:59:36,882 --> 00:59:39,085 I guess they don't know whether to fuck their brother 1279 00:59:39,151 --> 00:59:40,286 or their sister. 1280 00:59:40,353 --> 00:59:42,421 (laughter) 1281 00:59:42,488 --> 00:59:43,956 Hey, Stan. 1282 00:59:44,023 --> 00:59:46,225 Wendy, you're back from Harvard. 1283 00:59:46,292 --> 00:59:47,927 Yeah, just here for the holidays. 1284 00:59:47,993 --> 00:59:51,130 You wanna maybe... spend New Years together again? 1285 00:59:51,197 --> 00:59:52,698 I'd love that. 1286 00:59:52,765 --> 00:59:55,534 Hey, fellas! Can I offer you some pupus?! 1287 00:59:55,601 --> 00:59:57,970 Thanks for choosin' Denny's Applebee's for your party. 1288 00:59:58,037 --> 01:00:00,373 Butters, you're still working here, huh? 1289 01:00:00,439 --> 01:00:02,108 Yup! I just made manager. 1290 01:00:02,174 --> 01:00:06,579 I love doing actual shit that pays actual money. 1291 01:00:06,645 --> 01:00:09,348 Hey, Stan, can you come here for a second? 1292 01:00:09,415 --> 01:00:10,983 What's the matter, dude? 1293 01:00:11,050 --> 01:00:12,918 Dude, he's here. 1294 01:00:12,985 --> 01:00:15,121 Cartman? 1295 01:00:15,187 --> 01:00:17,356 ? Ready, set, go... ? 1296 01:00:17,423 --> 01:00:20,459 Man, poor Cartman. 1297 01:00:22,695 --> 01:00:28,200 Fuck you guys! You can suck my fucking dick! 1298 01:00:28,267 --> 01:00:30,002 Fuck you! 1299 01:00:30,069 --> 01:00:33,572 It's so sad he never did anything with his life. 1300 01:00:34,407 --> 01:00:37,943 Fuck you, Kyle! Fuck you, Stan! 1301 01:00:38,010 --> 01:00:39,445 Hey, come on, fellas. 1302 01:00:39,512 --> 01:00:41,680 We can't spend another holiday feeling bad for Eric. 1303 01:00:41,747 --> 01:00:45,084 There's nothing that could have changed the path he was on. 1304 01:00:45,151 --> 01:00:47,186 Fuck you, Butters! 1305 01:00:47,253 --> 01:00:49,622 Fuck you, Eric! 1306 01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:52,858 Well, everyone, I just wanna make a toast. 1307 01:00:52,925 --> 01:00:54,226 I don't know... 1308 01:00:54,293 --> 01:00:56,095 what got us through the pandemic 1309 01:00:56,162 --> 01:01:00,900 and made all our futures so very bright, but whatever it was... 1310 01:01:00,966 --> 01:01:03,669 may we have it for the rest of our days. 1311 01:01:03,736 --> 01:01:06,272 God bless us, everyone. 1312 01:01:06,338 --> 01:01:08,808 ALL: Cheers! 1313 01:01:08,874 --> 01:01:10,843 ANNOUNCER: Remember, folks, 1314 01:01:10,910 --> 01:01:13,579 weed can't solve all your problems. 1315 01:01:13,646 --> 01:01:16,115 But Tegridy can. 1316 01:01:16,182 --> 01:01:19,418 Tegridy Weed. 1317 01:01:21,454 --> 01:01:23,689 ? ? 1318 01:01:23,765 --> 01:01:28,765 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 100427