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1
00:00:23,059 --> 00:00:24,731
Lotta shit happened
this season, people.
2
00:00:24,789 --> 00:00:26,056
Lotta shit.
So much shit,
3
00:00:26,141 --> 00:00:28,235
I'm compelled
to recap that shit for you.
4
00:00:28,328 --> 00:00:30,250
Also, I tested very well
as a character,
5
00:00:30,335 --> 00:00:31,750
so the producer
would like to shoehorn me
6
00:00:31,834 --> 00:00:33,360
into the show
whenever possible.
7
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:35,150
Okay. Oh, man.
8
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:36,824
This season's
been compellin' as fuck.
9
00:00:36,908 --> 00:00:38,236
Lots of twists and turns.
10
00:00:38,321 --> 00:00:40,227
Cable ACE Award-winnin' stuff.
11
00:00:40,311 --> 00:00:41,407
When we last left off,
12
00:00:41,492 --> 00:00:43,571
that tiny rat bastard,
Dr. Psycho,
13
00:00:43,656 --> 00:00:44,693
had betrayed Harley.
14
00:00:44,777 --> 00:00:46,360
Turns out,
that tricky motherfucker
15
00:00:46,445 --> 00:00:47,992
was in cahoots
with the Riddler.
16
00:00:48,077 --> 00:00:49,894
And, with the help
of some bullshit technology
17
00:00:49,979 --> 00:00:51,219
straight out of a comic book,
18
00:00:51,304 --> 00:00:53,722
they now control a army
of blood-sucking parademons,
19
00:00:53,807 --> 00:00:55,039
courtesy of Darkseid.
20
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:57,189
Dark-side? I don't know
how to pronounce that shit.
21
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:59,181
So, now, the only way
Harley can stop Psycho
22
00:00:59,289 --> 00:01:00,961
is with the help of
the Justice League.
23
00:01:01,304 --> 00:01:02,532
But wouldn't you
fucking know,
24
00:01:02,617 --> 00:01:04,798
they're trapped in
the Queen of Fables' storybook.
25
00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:06,253
Remember that shit
from Season 1?
26
00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:07,970
Look at how intricately woven
27
00:01:08,055 --> 00:01:09,298
this storytellin' shit is.
28
00:01:09,383 --> 00:01:11,357
Peabody Award-level shit here.
29
00:01:11,516 --> 00:01:13,094
Further complicating
matters is,
30
00:01:13,179 --> 00:01:15,462
the only motherfucker
who knows where that book is,
31
00:01:15,547 --> 00:01:16,486
is the Joker.
32
00:01:16,571 --> 00:01:18,298
But, that dude's
a khaki-wearin' amnesiac,
33
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:19,775
who's somehow whiter now
34
00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:21,902
than when he was
the color of paint primer.
35
00:01:21,986 --> 00:01:23,170
And now, our heroine,
36
00:01:23,254 --> 00:01:24,298
Ms. Harley Quinn,
37
00:01:24,383 --> 00:01:25,931
has gone against
her better judgement,
38
00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:27,782
and has dumped the Joker
back into acid
39
00:01:27,867 --> 00:01:29,462
to jog that
motherfucker's memory,
40
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:30,911
so he can find
the storybook,
41
00:01:30,995 --> 00:01:32,145
free the Justice League,
42
00:01:32,229 --> 00:01:34,113
and take down Psycho
and his fuckin' army.
43
00:01:35,198 --> 00:01:36,816
This is some
George R.R. Martin,
44
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:38,119
Emmy Award-winnin' shit.
45
00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:39,359
Now, get yourself
some popcorn,
46
00:01:39,444 --> 00:01:40,790
and let's watch.
47
00:02:15,164 --> 00:02:17,110
Where's the fucking book?
48
00:02:17,389 --> 00:02:18,758
Theme music playing...
49
00:02:18,843 --> 00:02:20,345
*HARLEY QUINN*
Season 02 Episode 11
50
00:02:20,429 --> 00:02:21,993
Title :"A Fight Worth Fighting For"
Aired on: June 12, 2020
51
00:02:23,766 --> 00:02:27,684
Begin the taking
of Gotham City!
52
00:02:49,939 --> 00:02:51,195
Riddle me this...
53
00:02:51,775 --> 00:02:52,922
Oh.
54
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,070
What's the next move?
55
00:02:54,211 --> 00:02:55,251
Not a riddle.
56
00:02:55,336 --> 00:02:57,332
This whole, uh, sidekick thing
57
00:02:57,416 --> 00:02:59,565
has made me real rusty
with my rids.
58
00:02:59,711 --> 00:03:02,297
God! Get me Darkseid.
59
00:03:02,901 --> 00:03:04,884
Oh. You want me to get him.
60
00:03:04,969 --> 00:03:06,116
Oh. Sorry.
61
00:03:06,201 --> 00:03:08,547
My phone doesn't have
an inter-dimensional data plan.
62
00:03:08,632 --> 00:03:09,569
Good lord!
63
00:03:09,661 --> 00:03:10,903
Some assistant you are.
64
00:03:10,987 --> 00:03:12,000
Give me my phone.
65
00:03:12,085 --> 00:03:13,094
Okay, Ds.
66
00:03:13,179 --> 00:03:15,180
Deadshot, Deathstroke,
Dee Dee, Doctor Aesop,
67
00:03:15,265 --> 00:03:17,690
Doctor Death,
Doctor Hurt, Doctor Trapp,
68
00:03:17,775 --> 00:03:18,813
Doctor Rabinowitz...
69
00:03:18,898 --> 00:03:21,274
What is Doctor Rabinowitz's
super power?
70
00:03:21,373 --> 00:03:22,889
Skin care.
He's my dermatologist.
71
00:03:22,973 --> 00:03:24,057
I get adult acne.
72
00:03:24,141 --> 00:03:25,344
Here it is. Oh!
73
00:03:25,562 --> 00:03:27,297
I put him under
The Darkseid.
74
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,734
That's what's wrong.
75
00:03:28,992 --> 00:03:31,876
What the fuck
is your problem, Harley?
76
00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:33,461
I should kill you for that.
77
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,416
Good. You're back.
78
00:03:34,501 --> 00:03:35,799
Now, where's
the Queen of Fables' book?
79
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,403
You had it in the tower,
the tower collapsed.
80
00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:38,579
What happened to it?
81
00:03:38,664 --> 00:03:40,005
What happened to it?
82
00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,938
What happened to me?
83
00:03:42,383 --> 00:03:44,586
Oh, God! Oh, no.
84
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:45,710
Oh, shit.
85
00:03:45,795 --> 00:03:46,805
What are you doing?
86
00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:48,789
I'm starting to remember.
87
00:04:46,973 --> 00:04:48,469
What did I become?
88
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:50,575
A suburban dad.
Who gives a shit?
89
00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:51,978
Where's the fucking book?
90
00:04:52,062 --> 00:04:53,179
I'm not helping you!
91
00:04:53,263 --> 00:04:54,211
You're the whole reason
92
00:04:54,296 --> 00:04:56,165
I ended up spending
six months of my life
93
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:57,249
in khaki shorts,
94
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:58,529
a Hawaiian shirt,
95
00:04:58,614 --> 00:05:00,669
and a cell phone clipped
to my belt!
96
00:05:00,754 --> 00:05:02,360
Yeah. Thought you might
say somethin' like that,
97
00:05:02,444 --> 00:05:04,030
which is why
I'm not giving you a choice.
98
00:05:04,114 --> 00:05:05,614
You can't tell me
what to do!
99
00:05:05,699 --> 00:05:06,865
I'm the Joker,
100
00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:09,520
Gotham's clown
prince of crime.
101
00:05:09,605 --> 00:05:10,653
I'm gonna...
102
00:05:10,738 --> 00:05:12,664
Blow up if you don't
help me find the book.
103
00:05:12,749 --> 00:05:13,833
Before you came to,
104
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:15,500
I put a bomb in your head,
105
00:05:15,585 --> 00:05:17,371
and I got the clicker
right here.
106
00:05:17,455 --> 00:05:19,012
Hey! That's my bit.
107
00:05:22,717 --> 00:05:23,770
Fine.
108
00:05:23,895 --> 00:05:26,247
I guess we're going
to Bethany's house.
109
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,021
I lost communication
with the Batplane
110
00:05:29,105 --> 00:05:30,049
around Wayne Tower.
111
00:05:30,134 --> 00:05:32,220
Master Wayne, you know you don't have
to narrate for me.
112
00:05:32,304 --> 00:05:34,353
I'm quite adept
at context clue.
113
00:05:34,437 --> 00:05:36,154
If I can just get
a glimpse of it.
114
00:05:36,239 --> 00:05:37,790
I can use
the city surveillance systems
115
00:05:37,874 --> 00:05:38,911
and track it.
116
00:05:38,996 --> 00:05:40,684
There! No.
117
00:05:40,845 --> 00:05:42,896
No. No.
118
00:05:42,980 --> 00:05:45,637
No. No. No. No.
119
00:05:48,184 --> 00:05:49,676
Computer. Enhance.
120
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,052
We have a new OS.
121
00:05:51,137 --> 00:05:52,349
All you have to do is say,
122
00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:53,732
"Hey, Batcomputer,"
123
00:05:53,817 --> 00:05:55,341
and then whatever
you want it to do.
124
00:05:55,425 --> 00:05:56,872
Hey, Batcomputer.
125
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,308
Zoom in on picture.
126
00:05:58,425 --> 00:05:59,747
Joker's back,
127
00:05:59,856 --> 00:06:01,225
and Harley's with him.
128
00:06:01,364 --> 00:06:02,833
They must be behind this.
129
00:06:03,565 --> 00:06:06,719
It's time
for Batman to... return.
130
00:06:06,903 --> 00:06:08,388
No, Master Wayne.
131
00:06:08,472 --> 00:06:10,389
Come on, Alfred.
I am ready.
132
00:06:10,473 --> 00:06:11,638
Oh, I'm not worried about you.
133
00:06:11,722 --> 00:06:14,107
I just haven't had a chance
to disinfect the Batsuit.
134
00:06:14,191 --> 00:06:16,376
Fine. Okay. Clean the suit...
135
00:06:16,637 --> 00:06:18,197
then Batman begins.
136
00:06:18,282 --> 00:06:19,637
Again.
137
00:06:27,816 --> 00:06:29,388
All right.
This all looks perfect to me.
138
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:30,477
Can we go to
the dress fitting now?
139
00:06:30,561 --> 00:06:32,020
Babe, let's
at least have Debbie
140
00:06:32,105 --> 00:06:34,020
show us around.
What's the rush?
141
00:06:34,105 --> 00:06:36,318
What? There's no rush.
There's no rush. I'm chillin'.
142
00:06:36,402 --> 00:06:39,161
So, I heard one of you
loves to fondue.
143
00:06:39,246 --> 00:06:41,660
Fon-do I ever!
144
00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:43,655
Fon-damn it!
145
00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:45,626
Oh. We'll figure out
a fix for that.
146
00:06:45,710 --> 00:06:47,393
Babe, are you sure
147
00:06:47,477 --> 00:06:48,989
you don't wanna
postpone the nupties?
148
00:06:49,074 --> 00:06:50,794
You know,
just until we get the whole
149
00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:53,734
"unpredictable flying demons"
sitch figured out?
150
00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:57,571
Like, I'm not even sure
I can kite down the aisle
151
00:06:57,655 --> 00:06:59,488
- in these conditions.
- No! Absolutely not.
152
00:06:59,573 --> 00:07:01,075
I'm ready to
move forward with my life
153
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,141
and leave some things behind.
154
00:07:02,225 --> 00:07:03,536
And, if we don't
do it right now,
155
00:07:03,621 --> 00:07:04,930
those things might
catch up with us,
156
00:07:05,014 --> 00:07:05,966
and we can't have that.
157
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,677
And... also, like...
158
00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:08,682
I wanna marr...
159
00:07:08,766 --> 00:07:10,516
You know, like,
love and marr...
160
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:11,981
I wanna do that thing
with you.
161
00:07:12,066 --> 00:07:14,687
That was
really touching.
162
00:07:14,771 --> 00:07:15,823
Thank you for saying that.
163
00:07:15,907 --> 00:07:17,137
I don't care
what Psycho does,
164
00:07:17,222 --> 00:07:18,357
this wedding is happening.
165
00:07:18,442 --> 00:07:20,075
So, this, of course,
is where we'll
166
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,277
put the...
167
00:07:22,879 --> 00:07:24,665
...the photo booth.
168
00:07:24,749 --> 00:07:26,667
We'll have all kinds
of silly props like
169
00:07:26,751 --> 00:07:28,535
a sign that says "YOLO."
170
00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:30,071
It'll be hilarious.
171
00:07:30,155 --> 00:07:32,184
See, honey?
We're in great hands.
172
00:07:32,269 --> 00:07:35,278
I can't believe
I spent six months
173
00:07:35,363 --> 00:07:38,183
being some
loser suburban stepdad.
174
00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:39,652
God damn it!
175
00:07:39,737 --> 00:07:42,371
I'm watering
the whole neighborhood.
176
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,075
Get the fuck back!
177
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,487
Hold on!
It's not what it looks like.
178
00:07:48,571 --> 00:07:49,857
Well, it looks like
he's the Joker,
179
00:07:49,941 --> 00:07:50,942
you're Harley Quinn,
180
00:07:51,027 --> 00:07:51,927
and you're here to rob me.
181
00:07:52,011 --> 00:07:52,981
Two out of three.
Not bad.
182
00:07:53,066 --> 00:07:54,427
We're not here
to rob you.
183
00:07:54,511 --> 00:07:55,429
There's a book.
184
00:07:55,513 --> 00:07:56,930
A big, fairytale book.
185
00:07:57,113 --> 00:07:58,965
It's hers.
She needs it back.
186
00:07:59,049 --> 00:08:00,566
You're gonna
have to elaborate, clown.
187
00:08:02,059 --> 00:08:04,145
You found me
in the rubble of Wayne Tower.
188
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:05,236
We fell in love.
189
00:08:05,321 --> 00:08:06,473
I read your kids stories
190
00:08:06,558 --> 00:08:08,675
out of what I thought was
just a regular fairytale book,
191
00:08:08,759 --> 00:08:10,744
but it was really
an evil fairytale book.
192
00:08:10,828 --> 00:08:12,489
And it turns out
I was actually the Joker,
193
00:08:12,574 --> 00:08:13,445
but I lost my memory,
194
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,035
then she threw me back
in acid.
195
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,552
Now, I'm the Joker
again.
196
00:08:16,637 --> 00:08:17,583
Speaking Spanish...
197
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,285
I dated the Joker
for six months?
198
00:08:19,369 --> 00:08:20,519
That's fuckin' ridiculous.
199
00:08:20,603 --> 00:08:21,788
Is it any more ridiculous
200
00:08:21,872 --> 00:08:23,560
than pointing
that gun at my face?
201
00:08:23,645 --> 00:08:26,794
The gun you think little Sofia
and Benicio don't know about?
202
00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:29,163
The gun you've never
loaded or shot
203
00:08:29,262 --> 00:08:30,497
in your life?
204
00:08:31,863 --> 00:08:33,887
Soy yo, pudding.
205
00:08:34,642 --> 00:08:35,826
Mi corazon.
206
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:40,840
Insulting Joker in Spanish...
207
00:08:43,910 --> 00:08:44,812
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
208
00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:46,613
Give me the book,
or I'll kill you.
209
00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:47,958
You're not killin'
anybody.
210
00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:49,355
So, nothing
we had was real?
211
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:50,758
The trip we took
to the mountains,
212
00:08:50,842 --> 00:08:53,450
the walks we took at night
after the kids were asleep,
213
00:08:53,535 --> 00:08:55,288
The Sopranos rewatch
we did?
214
00:08:55,372 --> 00:08:58,019
I guess. I mean,
I did kind of enjoy those.
215
00:08:58,242 --> 00:08:59,691
But, I didn't know who I was!
216
00:08:59,776 --> 00:09:00,994
I'm the Joker!
217
00:09:01,128 --> 00:09:02,830
Obviously, I'm not
going to date
218
00:09:02,914 --> 00:09:04,675
some suburban mom!
219
00:09:06,634 --> 00:09:07,752
That was a little harsh.
220
00:09:07,852 --> 00:09:09,239
I'm the fucking Joker!
221
00:09:09,324 --> 00:09:11,504
I mean, come on!
I mean, seriously.
222
00:09:11,588 --> 00:09:12,793
I thought
we had something.
223
00:09:12,878 --> 00:09:14,451
But, if you're too much
of a coward to try,
224
00:09:14,535 --> 00:09:15,730
then here's your book.
225
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:33,211
Shouting in Spanish...
226
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,601
- Shit!
- No shit.
227
00:09:41,266 --> 00:09:42,368
What's he saying?
228
00:09:42,453 --> 00:09:43,869
I'm still on hold.
229
00:09:43,954 --> 00:09:45,930
Who interruptsDarkseid's quest
230
00:09:46,015 --> 00:09:47,941
for the anti-life equation?
231
00:09:48,025 --> 00:09:49,976
Uh, it's...
232
00:09:50,195 --> 00:09:52,079
...Dr. Psycho.
233
00:09:52,304 --> 00:09:56,063
Ah. The dwarf who
called Wonder Woman a slur
234
00:09:56,148 --> 00:09:57,917
that even I dare not utter.
235
00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:00,047
God! That was, like,
two years ago!
236
00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,556
Also, "dwarf"
is considered a slur.
237
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,590
Just FYI.
This isn't Wizard of Oz.
238
00:10:04,674 --> 00:10:06,211
Darkseid does not care.
239
00:10:06,296 --> 00:10:07,400
Yeah.
Why would you?
240
00:10:07,484 --> 00:10:08,765
Okay, so, Mr. Darkseid, sir,
241
00:10:08,850 --> 00:10:11,360
I have recently
taken over Gotham City
242
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:14,701
after organizing
all your parademons, and...
243
00:10:14,785 --> 00:10:16,164
What is your request?
244
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,431
Okay, I'd like that deal that
you made with Harley Quinn.
245
00:10:18,515 --> 00:10:20,360
The one that said
if she took over Gotham,
246
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,515
you'd help her
take over the world.
247
00:10:22,613 --> 00:10:25,866
Darkseid is...
late for a meeting.
248
00:10:25,997 --> 00:10:27,632
All right.
I'm gonna make this quick.
249
00:10:27,738 --> 00:10:28,881
When I was a little boy,
250
00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:30,562
my mother brought me
to the county fair.
251
00:10:30,647 --> 00:10:31,949
There was a Ferris wheel.
252
00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:33,186
A big, beautiful thing,
253
00:10:33,271 --> 00:10:35,255
and you had to be
a certain height to ride it.
254
00:10:35,390 --> 00:10:36,956
And, of course,
I was too short.
255
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,485
But, my mother
would always say,
256
00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:39,893
"Patience, Eddie.
257
00:10:39,977 --> 00:10:42,562
I'm sure next year
you're gonna be big enough."
258
00:10:42,646 --> 00:10:43,813
Let me tell you right now.
259
00:10:43,898 --> 00:10:45,288
The next year rolled around,
260
00:10:45,373 --> 00:10:47,726
and I hadn't gotten
any taller.
261
00:10:47,818 --> 00:10:49,211
Years went by.
262
00:10:49,296 --> 00:10:52,972
I hung upside down
from my ankles for hours.
263
00:10:53,056 --> 00:10:55,009
I took growth hormones.
264
00:10:55,163 --> 00:10:59,046
Anything to ride
that big wheel in the sky.
265
00:10:59,187 --> 00:11:00,547
I never did get there.
266
00:11:00,631 --> 00:11:01,614
But, then, one day,
267
00:11:01,698 --> 00:11:04,133
somethin' very
unexpected happened.
268
00:11:04,218 --> 00:11:06,195
All those people
269
00:11:06,295 --> 00:11:08,073
fell to their death!
270
00:11:09,839 --> 00:11:12,323
And it was a rush!
271
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,266
I thought it was so satisfying
272
00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:17,695
to watch all those people die!
273
00:11:17,780 --> 00:11:19,498
And, that's when
I decided to hate women.
274
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:21,668
I'm not sure that tracks.
275
00:11:21,819 --> 00:11:23,769
But, you get
where I'm comin' from.
276
00:11:23,853 --> 00:11:25,906
I will endthis transmission now.
277
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:27,749
Wait! Wait! Wait!
278
00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:30,305
Most insomniacs who
stay up all hours of the night
279
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,879
doing deep dives on Wikipedia
would tell you
280
00:11:32,963 --> 00:11:36,039
that 87% of apocalyptian
business transactions
281
00:11:36,124 --> 00:11:37,917
are fueled by revenge.
282
00:11:38,078 --> 00:11:40,288
So, I was thinking...
283
00:11:40,372 --> 00:11:41,390
What?
284
00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:43,556
Why are you
looking at me all weird?
285
00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:44,892
I just read your mind.
286
00:11:44,976 --> 00:11:46,994
What?
That's creepy, man.
287
00:11:47,078 --> 00:11:51,859
Sir, what if I bring you
the head of Harley Quinn?
288
00:11:52,016 --> 00:11:53,524
I mean, she did break the terms
289
00:11:53,609 --> 00:11:55,134
of her
original agreement with you,
290
00:11:55,218 --> 00:11:57,633
and it seems like a good reason
to want her dead.
291
00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,320
You wouldvanquish the woman
292
00:11:59,405 --> 00:12:00,386
who betrayed me?
293
00:12:00,471 --> 00:12:02,641
Yeah! Of course.
294
00:12:02,726 --> 00:12:05,469
I mean, we're already
in the process of that.
295
00:12:05,554 --> 00:12:06,551
We're mid-vanquish.
296
00:12:06,635 --> 00:12:09,078
Bring me the head
of Harley Quinn,
297
00:12:09,176 --> 00:12:10,444
and the Earth...
298
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,617
is yours.
299
00:12:12,702 --> 00:12:15,153
Yes! Fuckin' sweet!
300
00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,550
I mean, it will be done.
301
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:21,374
Oh. Soon,
the whole world
302
00:12:21,459 --> 00:12:24,044
is gonna bow before me.
303
00:12:24,214 --> 00:12:27,062
Bring me Harley Quinn!
304
00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:31,026
God, your calves are huge!
305
00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:39,645
What do you think?
306
00:12:41,031 --> 00:12:44,399
I think this is
highly against protocol.
307
00:12:44,484 --> 00:12:46,133
If my mother saw me
seeing you
308
00:12:46,218 --> 00:12:47,486
in that dress
before the wedding,
309
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:49,048
she would say something
very passive-aggressive
310
00:12:49,132 --> 00:12:50,196
that would bring me
to tears.
311
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,547
Where is Harley?
312
00:12:51,632 --> 00:12:53,133
She should be here.
Not me.
313
00:12:53,218 --> 00:12:55,000
What? Forget about Harley.
She was busy,
314
00:12:55,085 --> 00:12:56,720
and I don't have any other friends,
so you're up.
315
00:12:56,804 --> 00:12:59,102
Babe, did you and Harley
get into a fight or something
316
00:12:59,187 --> 00:13:00,500
at the ol' bach partay?
317
00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:01,710
It just feels like
318
00:13:01,795 --> 00:13:02,947
you've been different
since then.
319
00:13:03,031 --> 00:13:04,671
What? No.
We're, like, totally fine.
320
00:13:04,765 --> 00:13:05,788
We just... She...
321
00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,507
She's just got her things,
and I've got mine.
322
00:13:07,591 --> 00:13:10,227
It's a classic case of, like,
people just, you know, havin' things
323
00:13:10,312 --> 00:13:11,711
that they do away
from people.
324
00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:13,313
Plus, she's like
not good at this stuff.
325
00:13:13,397 --> 00:13:14,681
You know, it's like, you are.
326
00:13:14,765 --> 00:13:15,983
You are good
at this kind of thing.
327
00:13:16,109 --> 00:13:18,352
You are right about that.
328
00:13:18,813 --> 00:13:20,430
Okay. Um...
329
00:13:20,673 --> 00:13:22,755
Are you totally set on cream?
330
00:13:22,839 --> 00:13:23,788
What? What do you mean?
331
00:13:23,872 --> 00:13:25,591
- The... Isn't this just white?
- Nope.
332
00:13:25,675 --> 00:13:27,645
Oh, shit!
333
00:13:31,482 --> 00:13:34,734
We don't speak your language.
334
00:13:34,885 --> 00:13:36,515
Is there another way
335
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,052
we can communicate?
336
00:13:39,223 --> 00:13:40,639
You do know
that speaking louder
337
00:13:40,723 --> 00:13:42,132
will not help them
understand you.
338
00:13:42,217 --> 00:13:43,671
It... might.
339
00:13:45,728 --> 00:13:46,980
What the fuck?
340
00:13:47,064 --> 00:13:48,715
Shit nuts with a can!
341
00:13:48,799 --> 00:13:49,850
Oh, my God!
342
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,383
I wasn't even sure
I wanted a backless dress,
343
00:13:51,468 --> 00:13:52,836
- and now I'm stuck with it.
- Yeah.
344
00:13:52,921 --> 00:13:55,187
I was gonna say,
a backless halter...
345
00:13:55,349 --> 00:13:56,623
is a little rural.
346
00:13:58,912 --> 00:14:00,476
I've had it!
347
00:14:00,663 --> 00:14:02,829
I didn't care when
they were taking giant dumps
348
00:14:02,913 --> 00:14:04,227
all over the fuckin' city,
349
00:14:04,312 --> 00:14:07,033
but this is
a $13,000 Vera Wang!
350
00:14:07,117 --> 00:14:09,437
Uh...
Okay. Thirteen...
351
00:14:09,521 --> 00:14:12,649
So, you know,
are we doin' the traditional thing
352
00:14:12,734 --> 00:14:14,094
where the bride's parents
pay for the wedding?
353
00:14:14,179 --> 00:14:15,484
Dr. Psycho's dead.
354
00:14:15,569 --> 00:14:16,552
Hold my hair.
355
00:14:16,637 --> 00:14:17,855
Yeah. Sure, honey.
356
00:14:26,155 --> 00:14:27,273
Get down!
357
00:14:28,939 --> 00:14:31,499
We're not going
to find this book.
358
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,137
Ugh. This sucks!
359
00:14:33,398 --> 00:14:35,102
Why don't you just
blow my head up right now?
360
00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:36,391
It's your fault
we're here.
361
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,860
If you hadn't been
an asshole to your ex,
362
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:38,938
she wouldn't have
chucked the book
363
00:14:39,023 --> 00:14:40,281
into the jaws of
a parademon.
364
00:14:40,366 --> 00:14:41,494
She chucked the book
365
00:14:41,579 --> 00:14:42,930
because she's loca.
366
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:45,037
She's got it tattooed
on her lower back
367
00:14:45,122 --> 00:14:46,873
next to a Tweety Bird.
368
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:49,209
Although, we did have
some good times.
369
00:14:49,293 --> 00:14:50,643
Great.
Uh, I don't give a shit.
370
00:14:50,727 --> 00:14:51,677
Let's find the book.
371
00:14:52,697 --> 00:14:54,788
I might actually say
372
00:14:54,873 --> 00:14:56,983
it was the
most fulfilling relationship
373
00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:58,922
- I've been in.
- Jesus Christ!
374
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:00,657
Are you gettin' sentimental?
375
00:15:00,742 --> 00:15:02,055
Where was that
when we were dating?
376
00:15:02,139 --> 00:15:04,457
You fell in love with me
when I was famous.
377
00:15:04,663 --> 00:15:07,460
When I looked like this.
378
00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:09,000
Bethany fell in love with me
379
00:15:09,085 --> 00:15:11,264
when I was just
a square-looking barback
380
00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:13,585
with not a lot of prospects.
381
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:15,524
Uh, that wasn't the real you!
382
00:15:15,609 --> 00:15:17,641
You had forgotten
what a piece of shit you are!
383
00:15:17,726 --> 00:15:20,558
I can't believe
you were ever a therapist.
384
00:15:23,093 --> 00:15:24,539
I'm starting to wonder,
385
00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,930
did I screw
something up good
386
00:15:27,015 --> 00:15:28,414
with me and Bethany?
387
00:15:28,498 --> 00:15:29,602
Probably not.
388
00:15:29,687 --> 00:15:32,219
Just seeing you toss away
your chance at Ivy has...
389
00:15:32,421 --> 00:15:34,757
has got me thinking
about my own love life.
390
00:15:34,937 --> 00:15:36,890
I mean, I don't wanna
biff it like you did.
391
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,724
Hey! I told Ivy
how I felt,
392
00:15:38,809 --> 00:15:40,624
and she didn't feel that way.
And end of story!
393
00:15:40,709 --> 00:15:41,852
Water under the bridge!
394
00:15:41,937 --> 00:15:43,031
Right. Right.
395
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:45,730
The screaming about
it at the mere mention of her name
396
00:15:45,815 --> 00:15:47,551
certainly backs that up.
397
00:15:52,990 --> 00:15:54,157
Fuck, yeah!
398
00:15:59,762 --> 00:16:02,448
Look at these hideous monsters.
399
00:16:02,593 --> 00:16:05,851
Oh, Bethany and I
used to cuddle just like that.
400
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,221
God, we could just
sit on the couch
401
00:16:08,305 --> 00:16:10,356
and talk about nothing
for hours.
402
00:16:10,671 --> 00:16:13,031
We just got each other.
403
00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:15,519
She always had my back.
404
00:16:17,826 --> 00:16:19,077
Good God!
405
00:16:19,216 --> 00:16:20,400
That's true love.
406
00:16:20,484 --> 00:16:22,068
Then you can't just give up.
407
00:16:22,152 --> 00:16:23,369
Love's a risk.
408
00:16:23,453 --> 00:16:25,004
It may not always
go in your favor,
409
00:16:25,088 --> 00:16:26,306
but if it's true love,
410
00:16:26,390 --> 00:16:28,159
you have to fight for it.
411
00:16:29,666 --> 00:16:31,183
That is foul.
412
00:16:31,322 --> 00:16:32,973
Ugh! Let's get
the hell outta here.
413
00:16:40,338 --> 00:16:41,989
Maybe it's T. rex rules.
414
00:16:42,073 --> 00:16:43,823
If we don't move,
they can't see us.
415
00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:48,262
Yeah. I'm pretty sure
they can see us.
416
00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:53,500
I can't run
in fucking wingtips.
417
00:17:44,676 --> 00:17:47,152
Nice knowin' ya, Mistah J.
418
00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:57,097
So, you're all
in league with Psycho,
419
00:17:57,181 --> 00:17:58,668
and you've
gotten back with Joker.
420
00:17:58,753 --> 00:17:59,870
Oh for two, idiot.
421
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,172
Jesus, Bats.
422
00:18:01,385 --> 00:18:02,704
Your time out of the game
423
00:18:02,788 --> 00:18:05,438
has really made your
detective skills go to shit.
424
00:18:05,522 --> 00:18:06,410
I doubt that.
425
00:18:06,495 --> 00:18:07,646
We're trying
to save the city.
426
00:18:07,731 --> 00:18:09,176
Psycho's mind-controlled
my crew
427
00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:10,278
and all the parademons.
428
00:18:10,363 --> 00:18:11,474
And, in order to stop him,
429
00:18:11,559 --> 00:18:12,946
we're trying
to free the Justice League
430
00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:14,715
- from Queen of Fables' book.
- Oh.
431
00:18:14,901 --> 00:18:17,882
Oh!
That is not the book.
432
00:18:18,012 --> 00:18:20,320
What? Then the actual book is...
433
00:18:20,404 --> 00:18:21,856
Still at Bethany's!
434
00:18:21,941 --> 00:18:24,157
Looks like we're
takin' a detour to suburbia.
435
00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:26,059
Bats, tell Zatanna
to meet us there,
436
00:18:26,143 --> 00:18:27,286
and bring her wand.
437
00:18:27,371 --> 00:18:29,271
- Who's Bethany?
- My girlfriend.
438
00:18:29,356 --> 00:18:31,598
- What?
- My ex-girlfriend!
439
00:18:31,683 --> 00:18:33,660
I'll explain on the way.
440
00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:39,304
Okay. You're tellin' me
441
00:18:39,490 --> 00:18:40,907
that Harley and Joker
442
00:18:40,991 --> 00:18:42,810
were in the goddamn nest,
443
00:18:42,894 --> 00:18:45,044
but escaped
with Batman?
444
00:18:46,496 --> 00:18:49,817
And, they're headed east
in the fuckin' Batplane?
445
00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:51,384
Northeast. Whatever.
446
00:18:51,469 --> 00:18:53,442
Shit! What the hell
are we gonna do?
447
00:18:53,527 --> 00:18:54,544
Batman was supposed
448
00:18:54,629 --> 00:18:56,191
to be out of commission!
449
00:18:56,597 --> 00:18:57,783
Hey, Psycho!
450
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,911
You tiny-dicked asshole.
451
00:18:59,996 --> 00:19:02,129
I was tryin'
to just sit this one out,
452
00:19:02,213 --> 00:19:04,497
but you screwed with
my goddamn wedding.
453
00:19:04,606 --> 00:19:07,434
So, either ground
your goddamn parademons
454
00:19:07,518 --> 00:19:09,239
until the "I do's" are done,
455
00:19:09,324 --> 00:19:11,169
- or so help me...
- Oh!
456
00:19:11,254 --> 00:19:14,965
Actually, I'm so happy
you came, Ivy.
457
00:19:15,077 --> 00:19:18,020
I was really
in need of a friend.
458
00:19:21,409 --> 00:19:23,988
So, you,
the Joker,
459
00:19:24,073 --> 00:19:26,591
were in a relationship
with a nurse practitioner.
460
00:19:26,676 --> 00:19:29,152
Technically,
she was in nursing school.
461
00:19:29,272 --> 00:19:31,390
And you professed
your love to Ivy.
462
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,504
Ugh! Still don't know
why you brought that up.
463
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,950
Oh, my God!
It came up organically.
464
00:19:36,035 --> 00:19:38,333
It would've been awkward
if I didn't say anything.
465
00:19:38,418 --> 00:19:41,534
Look, we need to get that book
before Psycho kills us all.
466
00:19:41,691 --> 00:19:45,106
No.
This is mine to do.
467
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:52,231
Didn't I tell you
to fuck off and get lost?
468
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,512
Yes. Yes, you most definitely
said both of those things,
469
00:19:55,597 --> 00:19:56,888
but, um...
470
00:19:56,973 --> 00:19:59,527
I just can't stay away, Beth.
471
00:20:00,238 --> 00:20:02,924
You know, I thought
I had the perfect life
472
00:20:03,008 --> 00:20:04,323
before I met you.
473
00:20:04,473 --> 00:20:07,194
Maiming, killing,
causing general chaos.
474
00:20:07,278 --> 00:20:08,871
I thought I had it all.
475
00:20:08,956 --> 00:20:10,715
But, now, I realize...
476
00:20:10,954 --> 00:20:13,072
I was missing something.
477
00:20:13,332 --> 00:20:16,513
Love is what
makes life worth living.
478
00:20:16,598 --> 00:20:20,153
So, Joker went through some
changes over the last few months.
479
00:20:20,238 --> 00:20:22,975
I don't wanna blow
what could be a great thing.
480
00:20:23,059 --> 00:20:24,911
Like a friend of mine did.
481
00:20:24,996 --> 00:20:27,179
I still have the remote
to blow up your fuckin' head.
482
00:20:27,263 --> 00:20:29,395
I wanna give this a shot.
483
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,818
Speaking in Spanish...
484
00:20:32,027 --> 00:20:33,941
Oh, baby!
485
00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:35,122
We need that book.
486
00:20:35,207 --> 00:20:37,702
Jesus! Read the fucking room!
487
00:20:50,521 --> 00:20:52,324
Thank Hera!
488
00:20:52,455 --> 00:20:54,208
That place was hell.
489
00:20:54,293 --> 00:20:56,661
They made us listen
to the same songs
490
00:20:56,746 --> 00:20:59,810
over and over again.
491
00:20:59,895 --> 00:21:02,181
Too soft.
Too hard. Never just right.
492
00:21:02,332 --> 00:21:04,090
Never just right.
493
00:21:04,762 --> 00:21:05,785
So, in summary,
494
00:21:05,869 --> 00:21:07,456
we have to take down
the parademon army
495
00:21:07,541 --> 00:21:08,646
and get to Dr. Psycho.
496
00:21:08,731 --> 00:21:10,001
No time to waste!
497
00:21:11,839 --> 00:21:13,359
Sorry! It's been a minute.
498
00:21:13,444 --> 00:21:15,731
I should probably
get back to Central City.
499
00:21:21,260 --> 00:21:23,078
I'll go make some coffee.
500
00:21:23,301 --> 00:21:24,437
So, is this your new life?
501
00:21:24,521 --> 00:21:25,856
You're gonna go coach
a little league team
502
00:21:25,941 --> 00:21:27,191
and get ice cream
after the game?
503
00:21:27,276 --> 00:21:28,727
No!
504
00:21:28,859 --> 00:21:31,410
Little Benicio's
lactose-intolerant.
505
00:21:31,512 --> 00:21:34,348
Look, lots of dads
are serial killers.
506
00:21:34,487 --> 00:21:36,282
I'm not gonna change
who I am.
507
00:21:36,367 --> 00:21:38,417
I just have
a better reason to kill.
508
00:21:38,501 --> 00:21:40,926
I am in love!
509
00:21:41,011 --> 00:21:42,238
Now, it's your turn.
510
00:21:42,323 --> 00:21:44,275
I told you, I tried.
It didn't work.
511
00:21:44,387 --> 00:21:45,685
Ivy said no.
512
00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:47,817
Are you prepared
to live with that?
513
00:21:47,902 --> 00:21:49,895
I'm prepared for anything.
514
00:21:51,715 --> 00:21:54,333
Ivy! What're you
doing here?
515
00:21:54,417 --> 00:21:56,590
I've got something
to tell you.
516
00:21:57,088 --> 00:21:58,639
I am going to kill you.
517
00:22:00,625 --> 00:22:02,148
Damn! That shit was tense.
518
00:22:02,358 --> 00:22:03,598
See, now,
this show is a comedy
519
00:22:03,683 --> 00:22:06,167
that combines both humor
and dramatic tension.
520
00:22:06,258 --> 00:22:07,876
Can I get a Chiron?
521
00:22:07,961 --> 00:22:09,178
See you all next week.
522
00:22:09,263 --> 00:22:10,582
Same Frank time,
523
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:11,952
same Frank channel.
524
00:22:12,036 --> 00:22:14,321
I'm gonna get some popcorn
in anticipation.
525
00:22:14,405 --> 00:22:16,188
Hey, Chaz.
Hook a brother up!
526
00:22:18,635 --> 00:22:19,770
There's butter on this!
527
00:22:19,856 --> 00:22:21,062
What the fuck, Chaz?
528
00:22:21,144 --> 00:22:22,577
I'm watchin'
my cholesterol.
529
00:22:25,815 --> 00:22:28,121
Sync corrections by srjanapala
34882
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