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1
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♪
2
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[chirping]
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Ooh! That was a good one!
4
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What's going on?
We did it, Patrick!
5
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We found the very last gem!
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And since you were the one
that found the first gem,
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I wanted you to be here.
8
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What, you took all the gems?!
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That was never the deal!
The caves are cursed!
10
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All the more reason to blow them
from here to kingdom come!
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Light that bitch up!
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It seems like a waste of resources.
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Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet.
Check this shit out!
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♪
15
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[mooing]
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[dribbling]
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[clanging]
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That's going to be hard
to sweep under the rug.
19
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♪ medieval theme playing ♪
20
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[musical chiming]
21
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[clicking]
22
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MERRIMAN CLOCK [winding down]:
Today's the day...
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♪ energetic music ♪
24
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[elephant trumpeting]
Ah!
25
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Today's the day, Tuls!
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Oh, here we go.
27
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♪ music continues ♪
28
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[excited squeal]
29
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You there! What day is it?
30
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Why, it's Circus Day, sir.
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I know it's Circus Day.
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I just wanted to hear you fuckin' say it!
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[grumbles]
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♪ circus music ♪
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♪ Circus, circus,it's the best of my life ♪
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♪ Circus, circus! ♪
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♪ Twice as sexy as my wife ♪
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♪ Circus, circus,Daddy said it'd rot my brain ♪
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♪ Circus, circus, joke's on him,he went insane ♪
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♪ Daddy's gone and I'm in charge!My circus dreams are living large ♪
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♪ Oh so much that I was missing,like animal abuse and otherism ♪
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♪ Circus! ♪
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♪ Circus, circus,it's that time of year at last ♪
44
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♪ Circus, circus!My chance to kick back ♪
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♪ And relax! ♪
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♪
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♪ Harness ♪
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♪ All this ♪
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♪ Madness ♪
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♪ Purpose ♪
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♪ Circus ♪
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♪ Circus, circus, circus! ♪
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[fireworks crackling]
[heavy breathing]
54
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Y'all are dancin' in elephant shit.
55
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[angry grumbling]
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Alright, alright! Everyone, back to one.
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[annoyed grumbling]
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Due to unforeseen stupidity,
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there's an opening for a new knight.
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[excited chatter]
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One of you squires could be that knight.
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[gasps] This is my time
Is it me, is it my time?
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Nope. Wait, you're right. It's yours.
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Shotgun next!
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Impress the king, and you
could earn that knighthood.
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As you know, today is the king's
favorite day, Circus Day,
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and each of you will be
given an opportunity
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to prove yourselves at your posts.
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Here is the list of assignments.
[excited chatter]
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I got Royal Corn Dog Taster!
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I get to hold the king's balloon!
72
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,517
What's a "funnel cake chuck bucket"?
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I don't think I like it.
I'm a tour guide?
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I've no sense of direction.
I'm lost right now!
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Seat warmer? This hot ass?
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I'll burn through the thing!
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Cotton candy bouncer?
What's a cotton candy?
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Oh, I heard it's amazing.
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It's sand candy that becomes air,
something like that.
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The king is desperate to try it.
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You'll be guarding the line,
so he has the very first taste
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in the entire kingdom!
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I heard, once you taste it,
it takes all your pain away.
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♪ melancholy music ♪
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Apparently, everyone carries a lowgrade
amount of pain at all times,
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and you just get used to it.
But cotton candy
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takes it all away. But then,
88
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when you're out of cotton candy,
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pain comes back worse than ever,
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until you can score more cotton candy.
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♪
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Well, I gotta go hit a meeting.
[laughs] Later!
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♪ circus music ♪
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[crowd chatter]
95
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[megaphone]:
Step right up! Step right up!
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See the magnificent Elephant Man.
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Half elephant, all man!
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The snout of a mighty elephant
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and the sad, ridiculous penis of a man.
100
00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,255
Repulsed by ol' dingledangle dick?
101
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,138
I politely asked you to
stop calling me that, Maurice.
102
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Behold the broad with a beard!
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Feast your eyes on the atrocity
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God certainly turned his back on.
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For those with weak stomachs,medics are on standby.
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Last year, she grossedsomeone out to death. Ah!
107
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Plenty of oddities totickle your interest!
108
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Feel better about your averageness.Step right up!
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Soon, it will be ready!
110
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We have a special Candy Scepter
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for the first taste!
[rummaging]
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♪ angelic music ♪
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[excited giggling]
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Patrick, I must be the first one
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to taste the elusive cloud candy.
116
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You can count on me, Sire.
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I will keep every mouth away
from this spun sugar delight
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until the first bite is
melting in your mouth.
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Spoken like a future knight.
120
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,353
Or a smut romance novelist.
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Ah. Here, kid. Feeling generous today.
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[clatter]
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♪
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[clank, gem tinkles]
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Hm. I really thought you'd catch that.
126
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Not very knightlike.
[tiger roars]
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Oh my god, tigers!
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Squire, resume walking tour.
129
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Resuming walking tour.
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Hm. Spoken like a future knight.
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By the W, those worthless diamonds
are from the "donate" pile.
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They're super flawed,
just like my manchild husband
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who I'm learning to love again
through the magic of counseling. Hm.
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Happy Circus Day.
135
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:54,017
And furthermore,
caged animals display repetitive behavior
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due to the lack of engagement
and extreme levels of stress.
137
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On the right, you'll seeOh.
138
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Sorry. On the left
Wow!
139
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Scatacological magic!
140
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I love the circus.
141
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Hey, hey! Blarney's beef tubes!
142
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Get your beef tubes!
143
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Plump and juicy beef tubes!
144
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[gasps] No way!
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♪
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Hey, hey!
It's Tubbo, Flatfoot, and Bidet!
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It's me, Blarney from clown college.
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Didn't you get kicked out?
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Yes, I did! At orientation.
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For partying too hard! [laughs]
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And assault.
My tuition was not refunded.
152
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Anyway, you playing tonight?
Do you need a...
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[quietly]: one, two, three, four, five...
seventh?
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[laughter]
155
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No offense, Blonzo.
156
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[laughs] Blonzo! It's Blurtney.
157
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Gah! Why'd I say that?
Blarney. I'm Blarney.
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You're not big top material.
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[grunting]
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[laughter]
161
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Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
Nope!
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Get outta here!
Ow!
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[grumbling]
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Hey!
PATRICK: So sorry,
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but the first taste is
reserved for the king.
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Oh, taste my ass.
167
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[coughing] Please, sir.
168
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I'm not long for this world.
169
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I haven't had a joyful moment in ages!
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My last wish is to taste the fairy floss.
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May I, please? May I?
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[coughing]
[Patrick sighs]
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It's just that the first bite
belongs to the king.
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I'm sorry, little buddy.
175
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What?! That always works!
You're an arsehole!
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Ah! [groaning]
Hey, Patrick!
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[Patrick groaning]
Sleeping on the job?
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That's cool. I got fired!
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Behold! The coveted First Taste!
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♪ angelic music ♪
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CROWD:
Aah...
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Ah! WhaDa
Where's the First Taste?
183
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Well, there's an old idiom
in the cotton candy business.
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You snooze, you lose.
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♪
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Come back! In the name of the king!
187
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,331
I will lick the inside
of your entire asshole
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for that cotton candy.
189
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It's five cents.
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I will lick the inside
of your entire asshole
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if you let me borrow five cents.
192
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♪
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♪
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[applause]
[tiger roars]
195
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[roaring]
CROWD: Ooh!
196
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:34,310
[seals barking]
Aah!
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[cheering]
198
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:39,438
When do you think Piss Angel's
gonna come out? Soon?
199
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,686
Would you keep your
dong in your drawers?!
200
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:43,148
Um, I mean,
201
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,478
as our couples' counselor
would want me to phrase it,
202
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I feel like you should keep
your dong in your drawers.
203
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Honey.
204
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[nose squeaking]
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♪
206
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Has anyone seen a kid with
our king's head on a gold stick?
207
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,078
Oh, you're not stopping. Okay.
208
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♪ mysterious music ♪
209
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,337
[door creaking]
[man struggling]
210
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,338
Um, hello?
211
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,630
[struggling continues]
212
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,974
Mr. Mind Leak? Have you seen a
213
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,850
My lungs are constricting
in this straightjacket.
214
00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:19,349
Every breath I take could be my last!
215
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,851
Unless... [struggling]
216
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,231
Uh, that's not how
straightjackets work.
217
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:28,572
And I'm free! [laughs]
Great. Cool. Tight.
218
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,739
Um, so hi. I'm Patrick,
and I'm looking for
219
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,317
Watch my mouth.
Jesus H. Christ!
220
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:35,993
Why?! You're gonna shred your colon!
221
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,583
Let me leak your mind... [grunts]
222
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,579
[poof]
[door opening, slamming shut]
223
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:46,036
I saw you go through the trap door.
None of this is magic.
224
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,054
[creak]
225
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,173
I made him disappear?
226
00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:53,094
[gasps] I am magic! Argh!
[glass breaks]
227
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:57,097
Oh, please! I have never
wanted anything more
228
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,637
than a shot of vodka.
Gah! Shot at the stage!
229
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,982
We can't just let any schmo up there.
230
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:06,608
You need a degree in tomfoolery
and a minor in jackassery.
231
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:09,397
Oh, come on! A piece of paper
232
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:12,321
can't tell you if you can clown, man!
233
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,661
It comes from the heart!
234
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,486
And I've got an enlarged one!
235
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,701
Buzz off, cornball. You're just a loser
236
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,082
with a dream that'll never come true.
237
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,619
CLOWNS:
Red nose goes! Aw, yeet yeet!
238
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,834
Juju on the beat! Tuna can!
239
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:28,464
Hello to the big top!
The big top! Woof woof!
240
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:30,882
Let's go get 'em, boys.
TUBBO: Let's go!
241
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:35,388
Oh, I'll show ya who's the real fool.
242
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,385
♪ circus music ♪
243
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,143
[Blarney screaming]
[clowns grunting]
244
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,890
ACROBATS:
Haha! Hoohoo!
245
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:43,812
[grunting]
[crowd cheering]
246
00:10:44,853 --> 00:10:46,863
Oh! A pie to the face!
247
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:50,185
I've never seen that before!
These guys are geniuses!
248
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:51,777
[growls]
249
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:56,735
What? They topped it!
I didn't think they could improve on that!
250
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,704
Ah! [growling]
251
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,831
I really loved what you
did with the clowns.
252
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,828
Let's write it into the act.
Excuse me,
253
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,620
have you seen an orphan around here?
254
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:08,674
You can always tell an orphan from
the contractions and double negatives.
255
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,419
There ain't no orphan 'round here!
256
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,720
You mean there isn't
an orphan around here?
257
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,085
Fuck off, buddy! Squirrel wings!
258
00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:18,183
[laughter]
259
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:21,524
Squirrel wings?
That was Danielle's thing.
260
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:24,265
This place is crawling with
reminders of my ex. [gasps]
261
00:11:24,268 --> 00:11:25,558
♪
262
00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,811
Gotcha!
263
00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:30,072
[laughs] Look!
I'm facefucking the king!
264
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,565
[grunting]
265
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:35,402
♪
266
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:39,244
WHISPERING VOICES: Exgirlfriend.OMG, it's your exgirlfriend.
267
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:40,831
[gasps]
268
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,000
I'm in love with you,
269
00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:45,825
but I'm gonna kill
everyone you care about.
270
00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:47,331
Come and get me.
271
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:50,130
[grunting]
272
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:53,547
MERRIMAN: I'm also in love with you,and I'm going to knight you.
273
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,717
Now, get this orphan'swiener out of my face.
274
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,966
What do I do,
what do I do, what do I do?
275
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,968
[grunting continues]
276
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,561
[growling]
That's the assassin! Stop her!
277
00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,637
Not so fast!
278
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:07,983
Juggle trap! Nyah!
279
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,808
Whoa! Ah! [panting]
280
00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,863
Us circus folks stick together!
281
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,977
You wanna get to her,
you gotta go through me!
282
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:15,744
Oh! God! Ah!
283
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,906
She's getting away! Stop protecting her!
284
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:20,485
[grunting]
Ah! Molotov cocktail!
285
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:24,160
[grunting]
Must... break... the... juggle.
286
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,121
Ah!
If you come back 'round here,
287
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,581
you'll be juggling with the fishes!
288
00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:32,252
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
289
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,052
binaries and nonbinaries,
290
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:38,177
it's the moment you've
all been waiting for...
291
00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,505
MERRIMAN:
Piss Angel!
292
00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,930
It's the golden boy himself...
293
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:44,219
MERRIMAN:
Piss Angel Mind Leak?!
294
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:47,353
Give a warm
Cirque du Circus welcome
295
00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:48,271
to...
296
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,558
Piss Angel Mind Leak!
RINGLEADER: Piss Angel...
297
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,902
Mind Leak!
[cheering]
298
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,438
Move. [grunting]
299
00:12:57,069 --> 00:13:00,409
Patrick... oh, I did a bad thing.
[stomach gurgling]
300
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:03,195
I chased the cotton dragon,
and I caught her.
301
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,330
[Patrick sighs]
302
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:06,247
[gasps]
303
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:09,672
♪ suspenseful music ♪
304
00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:13,422
Ah, ha!
[gasps] Have you seen my grandma?
305
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,418
What the...
306
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,296
♪ dramatic sting ♪
307
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,472
I ask the wise, I ask the weak,
308
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,678
a volunteer is
309
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,059
what I seek.
310
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,675
[excited squealing]
Me! Please pick me!
311
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:30,313
You, sir! The eager young man
312
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,270
with the gleaming crown. Come forward.
313
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,572
Outta the way! Outta the way!
Make way for the king!
314
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:38,106
One side! I'm special! Not you!
315
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,440
[grunts]
316
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,784
♪
317
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,950
Ah, ha!
[roars] Oh, hey. Uh,
318
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:47,079
it's me, um, Little Red Riding Hood.
Yup. [burp]
319
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:51,040
I'm just going to go my gramgram's now.
320
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,249
TTYL!
321
00:13:54,168 --> 00:13:55,498
Oh!
322
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:58,762
[excited giggling]
Oh boy! Oh good!
323
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,915
♪
324
00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:03,724
Ha!
Oh! Blessed be the squash.
325
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:06,429
I am the Footmaid.
Would you care to hear my fable?
326
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:10,180
Oh... This sounds long. No, thank you.
327
00:14:10,184 --> 00:14:11,694
Oh! Wait!
328
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,823
Hm. You're Patrick.
329
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,815
Danielle had a message for you.
330
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:21,147
♪
331
00:14:21,153 --> 00:14:23,163
[panting] I did it! [laughs]
332
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:26,735
I'm the volunteer.
What is your name, young man?
333
00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,122
[timidly]: King Merriman.
334
00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:30,198
Well, King Merriman, behold!
335
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:33,584
The Box of Comeuppance!
Comeuppance?!
336
00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:35,792
[gasps] I love comeuppance!
337
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,462
It's like I'm standing in a coffin!
338
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,342
A king you now lack,
339
00:14:40,339 --> 00:14:42,259
a king you'll get back.
340
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:45,007
Chant "bring back the king" three times,
341
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,890
and Piss Angel
342
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,807
will leak your minds!
343
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,385
CROWD:
Bring back the king! Bring back the king!
344
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:55,942
"In... sum... at"?
345
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:58,608
Sorry, it's been awhile since
I've been allowed to read words.
346
00:14:58,607 --> 00:15:01,737
"Inin sum... mation...
347
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,275
This is a dis...dis..."
348
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:05,989
Distraction!
I can do it!
349
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,279
"Distraction. The lo...
350
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,793
"longer you stand here,
351
00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:13,656
"the longer you leave
your king unprotected.
352
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:16,714
[Patrick gasps]
"You're a fool and a virgin."
353
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,538
See? I can read!
354
00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:19,634
Oh, he left.
355
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,168
CROWD:
Bring back the king...
356
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:23,511
You asked, and I shall deliver.
357
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:26,967
Bring back the king,
and may he long live...
358
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,549
er.
[crowd groaning]
359
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:32,224
[scoffs] Rhymes are hard.
I'm freestyling up here, you know?
360
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:33,934
[grunts] Behold!
361
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:35,444
[crowd gasping]
362
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,685
♪
363
00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:40,154
Papa's home!
364
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,318
Oh no.
365
00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,606
[laughs]
366
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,489
[panicked crowd chatter]
367
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,659
The old king is alive!
Ah!
368
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:53,409
Your rightful ruler is
back from the dead,
369
00:15:53,412 --> 00:15:55,412
ya spoony rascals!
370
00:15:55,414 --> 00:15:58,544
Now, who wants to tug on my testes?
371
00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,792
[clears throat]
372
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,843
Oh, where are my manners?
373
00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:03,627
May I introduce to you
374
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:07,090
the brainpower behind
my return to the people.
375
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,142
My granddaughter, Danielle.
376
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,466
Ha, ha!
377
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,890
WHISPERING VOICES: Exgirlfriend.OMG, it's your exgirlfriend.
378
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,520
Ah! Danielle!
379
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,016
Raised in a circus, bitch!
380
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,859
Tada! Grand entrance! Surprise!
[poofing]
381
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:22,685
What am I gonna do?
Think, Patrick, think!
382
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:24,651
Danielle's about to do
a redemptive monologue,
383
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,491
which means you have, like,
45 seconds to make a plan.
384
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:30,067
That's right!
Twelve years ago,
385
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:33,163
they said the old king died in a plague,
386
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,120
but he didn't die in anything.
387
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,500
They just locked his old ass up! Ooh.
388
00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:40,705
Sorry, Grandpa.
What? Who are you?
389
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,919
♪
390
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:43,799
Ha, ha!
[poof]
391
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:46,087
[door opening, slamming shut]
392
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:51,136
I saw you go through the trap door.
None of this is magic.
393
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:52,426
[creak]
394
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,183
[gasps]
395
00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:57,598
DANIELLE:
And who's to blame? King Merriman.
396
00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:00,731
Merriman, who faked
the rightful king's death,
397
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,769
so he could callously
take the throne for himself.
398
00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:07,034
Merriman, who found untold
riches underground
399
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,737
and shared them with whom? Nobody!
400
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,408
Do you feel rich?
401
00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,986
No! I don't feel rich!
402
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,952
Jeez, would you give someone
else a chance to outburst?
403
00:17:17,996 --> 00:17:18,996
Hm?
404
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,497
[nervous laughing] Alright...
405
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,340
Guards, arrest my daughterinlaw!
406
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,756
She was in on it the whole time!
407
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:29,415
Boo! Boo, I say!
408
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:31,844
[crowd booing]
You suck!
409
00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,604
Oh, boo me all you want!
410
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,556
My heart is a pickle! I can't feel shame!
411
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:38,558
[hisses]
412
00:17:38,559 --> 00:17:41,189
♪
413
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,146
[sword slices]
414
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,687
Patrick, you're not supposed
to be down here.
415
00:17:48,694 --> 00:17:51,914
But I won't leave you, Sire!
Get out, you civilian!
416
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,235
Ooh, you're gonna ruin the trick!
417
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,120
Your Majesty, the trick
is that the old king is back,
418
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:59,498
and the entire kingdom knows what you did.
Uhoh.
419
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,956
We need to get you out of here.
420
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:04,626
Oh, no. I'll die before I give up
the throne to that old mummy.
421
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,876
There are 200 armed guards
ready to murder you on sight!
422
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,760
Is that supposed to scare me?
Because it does. Let's roll.
423
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,387
[grunts] Ooh... [groans]
424
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:14,965
[footsteps]
425
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:17,180
GUARD: Under the stage!
They found us!
426
00:18:17,181 --> 00:18:18,931
Oh. I failed you, Sire.
427
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:21,642
Eh. You're no failure. Just flawed.
428
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,354
[gasps] Flawed!
429
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,024
[scraping]
430
00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:27,273
[glass shatters]
431
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,400
It'll do.
432
00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:31,454
[shatters]
433
00:18:31,445 --> 00:18:33,775
♪
434
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:34,990
[both panting]
435
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,619
Be right back. I see an old friend.
436
00:18:43,081 --> 00:18:45,581
[punching, fighting]
[Patrick and Orphan grunting]
437
00:18:45,584 --> 00:18:46,924
ORPHAN:
Oh, why!
438
00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:48,749
[pants] Here you go, sir.
439
00:18:48,754 --> 00:18:51,304
The first taste of cotton candy,
all for you.
440
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,758
Well, that's all well and good,
441
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,838
but did you just beat
a 9yearold boy unconscious?
442
00:18:55,844 --> 00:18:56,854
We better keep moving.
443
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,095
[indistinct chatter]
444
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:02,307
There's going to be some
changes around here.
445
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:05,560
Okay, guys, when he finishes talking,
446
00:19:05,562 --> 00:19:07,732
we roll in with our showstopper
447
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:09,821
and make history.
448
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,936
Shotgun!
[clown horns honking]
449
00:19:11,944 --> 00:19:13,364
There's no room, fuckface.
450
00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:15,862
[horns honking, silly noises]
451
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:20,536
Say, where's my jester?
452
00:19:20,536 --> 00:19:21,536
[whispering]
453
00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:24,617
[gasps] Bungles is dead?
454
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,842
Well, who's gonna make my tummy jiggle?
455
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:30,545
I demand a replacement jester.
456
00:19:30,546 --> 00:19:33,296
Jester? That's what we trained for!
457
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:35,008
It's every clown's dream!
458
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,718
[slam]
Hey! What are you doing?
459
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,798
Sorry, there's no room,
460
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,514
fuckface!
[honking]
461
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,099
[galloping]
462
00:19:44,101 --> 00:19:45,391
♪
463
00:19:45,394 --> 00:19:46,734
[neighing]
464
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,555
[tires screech]
465
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:51,194
[boom]
[clowns screaming]
466
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:56,324
Replacement jester at your service!
[screaming continues]
467
00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:59,371
[panting] To the mines!
468
00:20:00,409 --> 00:20:01,659
Wonderful idea!
469
00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:04,250
Unless you're thinking of using the gems
to bribe our way out of this
470
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,996
because those gems are cursed, Patrick,
471
00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:09,208
and we promised to only take what we need,
so don't even think about it.
472
00:20:10,127 --> 00:20:12,627
Sire, I know you took all the gems!
473
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,393
♪
474
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,385
[hissing]
475
00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:20,756
[boom]
476
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,440
♪
477
00:20:27,436 --> 00:20:29,516
[grunting]
[mooing]
478
00:20:29,521 --> 00:20:32,361
Christ! I'm getting teabagged
left and right here! [grunts]
479
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:38,697
Okay. We need to go somewhere
no one will recognize us.
480
00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:42,197
No, Patrick. Not we.
I need you back at the castle.
481
00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:45,448
Someone needs to watch
over my Tulip and my Petal.
482
00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:47,874
[sighs] I won't let you down, Sire.
483
00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,793
You probably will.
484
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,711
Okay. Well,
485
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,420
I'm off to disappear into the countryside,
486
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,631
become one with the common folk.
487
00:20:56,632 --> 00:20:59,342
Maybe I'll even follow
my dream of joining the circus!
488
00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:00,933
Did you know the circus is in town?
489
00:21:00,928 --> 00:21:03,218
That's a bad idea, Your Majesty.
490
00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:06,981
Well, anyway, I'm off.
491
00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:08,805
But, before I go,
492
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:11,560
time to take that first taste.
493
00:21:11,563 --> 00:21:13,113
Share this with me, Patrick.
494
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,030
Share a circus treat with an old friend.
495
00:21:16,026 --> 00:21:17,606
I'd be honored, Sire.
496
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:20,951
[chewing]
497
00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,988
This is...
498
00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:24,991
disgusting!
[Patrick gags]
499
00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:27,873
[scarfing]
500
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:31,540
Goodbye forever, Patrick.
501
00:21:31,542 --> 00:21:34,042
I'll never forget you, Your Majesty.
502
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:37,054
♪
503
00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:48,639
♪
504
00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:21,632
[8bit video game sounds]
505
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,513
KID:
That was amazing.
506
00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:25,510
[crinkling, monkey ooking, slap]
507
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:30,110
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