Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,251
[buzzing]
2
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:04,843
[horse snorts]
3
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,338
Make way for the bees!
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:10,341
♪
5
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:13,220
[horse neighs]
6
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,722
[clicking, whirring]
7
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:20,484
Hi. Are you the inventor?
8
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,979
That'sa me! Fettuccine da Vinci!
9
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,821
Wow! Like Leonardo da Vinci?
10
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,146
No! Nothing like the portraitpainting,
11
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:29,032
longhaired fucking hacka.
12
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,820
Alright then.
Who sent you? My dad?
13
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:35,664
You tell him I'ma just as
successful as his brother's son!
14
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,911
And while we're at it,
it's not a competition.
15
00:00:37,913 --> 00:00:41,383
No! I'm on a very important
quest for Queen Tulip.
16
00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:44,205
Looking for an inventor
who can build this.
17
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:47,091
♪ sensual music ♪
18
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:48,919
Did she have a budget in mind?
19
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,724
The queen said money is no object.
20
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:53,927
[gasps] Then it shall costa
one trillion dollars!
21
00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:56,849
No more than 200.
Wella, we can makea that work, too.
22
00:00:56,849 --> 00:01:00,519
Give me a week, and I'll build
a ride your queen will never get off.
23
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,979
I mean, she'll get off,
but she won't want to get off
24
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,860
the thing that is getting her off!
[laughs]
25
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,315
Wait...
You're hired! Follow me.
26
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,107
I can take you to the castle to begin.
27
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,527
Uh, by the way,
your sign's spelled incorrectly.
28
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,121
[imitates siren]
29
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,866
Pull over and hide your hooch!
30
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,658
It'sa the grammar police!
31
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,661
Uh, actually, grammar has
nothing to do with spelling.
32
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:23,174
Grammar is the act of
forming words, but spelling...
33
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,961
Hm.
[creaks]
34
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,380
♪
35
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,920
QUEEN TULIP:
Patrick, who is this man,
36
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,803
and why is he in my room?
[hammering]
37
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,850
Fullyclothed?
This is Fettuccine da Vinci.
38
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:37,845
Oh! Like Leonardo da Vinci!
39
00:01:37,848 --> 00:01:41,308
Nothing like that sculpturehumping,
claylicking motherfucker!
40
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,314
I'm sorry. The paina runs deepa.
41
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,399
Anyway...
[rumbling]
42
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,229
It'sa finished!
[meow]
43
00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:53,164
I'm underwhelmed. It's very, uh, busy...
44
00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:56,065
Well, you should'vea seen
the trillion dollar version.
45
00:01:56,074 --> 00:01:58,204
Now, I must warn you.
46
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:01,082
Never set the dial past thisa red line.
47
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:04,919
Telling me not to do it only makes
me want to do it more. Leave me be.
48
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,497
You should probably listen to him.
49
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,592
[hissing] I said leave me be!
[door shuts]
50
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,837
What's a queen got to
do to jerk off in privacy?
51
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,879
[creak, whirring, squeaking]
52
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:17,224
[cat meowing]
Oh! Ooh! [laughing]
53
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:20,521
[giggling, moaning]
[shaking, rattling]
54
00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:23,766
[machine revving louder and louder]
Oh... Uh... Oh...
55
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:26,099
That sounds likea 13!
56
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:28,114
[Queen Tulip screaming]
57
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,016
[boom]
58
00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:34,235
[meowing]
[electrical fizzling]
59
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:36,488
Oh my god! The queen is dead!
60
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,490
Da Vinci out!
[clank, whirring]
61
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,750
[zapping]
Ah!
62
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:47,748
♪ medieval theme playing ♪
63
00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:58,346
[sobbing]
64
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,635
Tulip...
She's in a coma, Your Majesty.
65
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:03,059
We don't know when or if she'll wake up.
66
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,558
KING MERRIMAN:
Blinkerquartz!
67
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,730
How did this even happen?
68
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,058
[sobbing]
69
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,073
It might be best to read
about it in my written report,
70
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,396
which I might never write.
71
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:15,202
You! Whoever you are...
72
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,815
I'm Henry, Your Majesty.
73
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,662
I've been your dedicated
servant for 10 years.
74
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:22,158
You got me this sweater
with this giant bear
75
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,870
and too many bells on it
for Christmas last year.
76
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,332
[jingling]
[King Merriman gasps]
77
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,001
Thoughtless gifts for people
we don't care about
78
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:31,961
has always been Tulip's job...
79
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,342
Listen, ugly sweater guy,
80
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:38,009
send word to Blossom at school
and tell her to come home at once.
81
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:39,930
[bells jingling]
82
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:44,018
In times like these,
I know what always makes me feel better.
83
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,596
Tulip! Bring me my depression robe
84
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:48,852
and some hot chamomile tea!
85
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,564
Tulip's in a coma, Your Majesty.
86
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,864
Still? So, I have to get
my depression robe?
87
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:56,569
I have to do everything around here.
88
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,990
Maybe not for long.
I know this might sound insensitive,
89
00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,910
but it's a terrible time for the kingdom
to be without a queen.
90
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,040
Rami IV could invade us at any moment.
91
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,997
We can't afford to look weak right now.
92
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,327
What are you getting at?
93
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:11,462
I think we should find
a backup queen immediately.
94
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:12,790
That's outrageous.
95
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,924
Ah, you're right. It's outrageous.
96
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,552
It would be crazy to hold
97
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:18,678
"The Kingdom's Next Top Queen" pageant
98
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,005
that you yourself always ramble on about
99
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,681
whenever you're drunk.
Hm.
100
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,969
Would there be musical numbers?
Sparkly dresses?
101
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,564
Yes! And we'll make it a competition,
102
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,810
so it seems fun and not gross,
103
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,272
even though we both know it's gross.
104
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,692
I suppose we could give it a go
105
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,281
while we wait for my beloved to wake up.
106
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,447
♪
107
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,742
"The Kingdom's Next Top Queen"?
108
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,581
What kind of sadistic madness is that?
109
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:48,157
She's been in a coma
for less than 30 minutes.
110
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,213
We can't let him be without a queen!
111
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:53,037
Don't you remember what
he did last time she went away?
112
00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:56,554
[applause]
113
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:01,216
What we need from you to
start things off is a location.
114
00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,848
[snoring]
115
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:05,846
One location. Anything.
116
00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:08,348
Pick a place. Any place. One place.
117
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,348
Pick a fucking place!
118
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,821
Fuck it! We're doing a purge.
[crowd gasping]
119
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,686
[murmuring]
120
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:20,073
Ice cream shop?
Too late! Purge!
121
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:22,240
Purge, motherfucker! [laughs]
No...
122
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,529
[overlapping screaming]
123
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,254
We lost half the population.
124
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,365
I still wake up in a sweat every night,
125
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,462
shouting locations.
126
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,917
But, I think we should give the queen
a little longer to wake up.
127
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:38,168
No time, my boy!
You're on pageant duty now.
128
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,672
Yoink! There we are.
129
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,972
Fuck pageant duty.
I got you into this, Your Majesty.
130
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:46,389
I'm gonna find a way to get you out.
131
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,138
♪
132
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:51,890
Huh? "Do you have what it takes to
be the kingdom's Next Top Queen?
133
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:55,404
"Weight must reflect wealth.
Hips of sonbearing width only.
134
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,687
No fuggos."
135
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,940
Well, I'm not a fuggo! Finally,
a chance to show everyone
136
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,863
who mocked me at
Miss Havershim's School for Fuggos
137
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,283
that I was wrongfully admitted!
138
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,292
Say no to the misogynistic
beauty pageant!
139
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:12,075
Yeah! Whatever Anna said!
Our bodies are not our worth!
140
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,870
[whispers] By the way,
Anna, you look great today.
141
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,754
Thanks, Sean. I cut out carbs.
142
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:18,751
Boycott the pageant!
WOMAN: There's a pageant?
143
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:21,014
[women screaming, chattering]
144
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,336
New queen? Hear that, Larry?
145
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:25,142
I'm gonna be queen!
146
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:27,255
You're already a queen, Bertha.
147
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,852
Queen of the shrews!
148
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:31,847
♪
149
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,271
Ugh! I knew that bastard
150
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,690
would try to replace Tulip one day.
151
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:42,742
On the other hand,
if I win one dumb archaic contest,
152
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,566
I get half his loot and the power
153
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,071
to overthrow the kingdom! I'm in.
154
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,656
♪ We're the luckiest girls ♪
155
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,161
♪ In the world ♪
156
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,872
♪ I'm a 10 ♪♪ I'm a 10 ♪
157
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,542
♪ I'm a 3.2! ♪
158
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:58,381
I can't believe they're actually
going through with this.
159
00:06:58,377 --> 00:07:00,457
I have to try and get them to stop.
160
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:03,842
[crowd cheering]
161
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:06,891
♪ True love is fleeting,that's why we're competing ♪
162
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:10,305
♪ To be the next queen,we'll be rolling in green ♪
163
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,805
♪ We want ♪
164
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:14,477
♪ Money, money, money,money, money, money... ♪
165
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:17,306
[sips] They're gonna bleed me dry.
166
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,862
Oh. She's hot. Sparkly dress...
167
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,607
♪ Money, money, money, money! ♪
168
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:25,609
[cheering and applause]
[whistles]
169
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,202
Their parents must be very proud!
170
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:31,698
Let's give them all a hand
for singing while walking!
171
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:35,502
[applause, cheering]
172
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,457
You have to stop this.
173
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,667
This is insane.
Oh, you're right, Patrick.
174
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:41,208
Absolutely insane.
175
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,841
It's 74 degrees in here!
176
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,549
Those nipples are never gonna pop!
177
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,219
Ice, people! I need ice!
178
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:51,348
Everyone here is fucking heartless.
179
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,346
[murmuring]
180
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,557
The only reason you
should be in this pageant
181
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,188
is for yourself.
182
00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:59,645
You're all queens who don't need
to do any of this to impress a king!
183
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,266
Now, turn around and bend over
184
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,403
so I can bleach and wax your assholes!
[whirring]
185
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,990
♪
186
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,565
[humming, rip]
Ah!
187
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:10,407
I'm super high and thought
this would be funny.
188
00:08:10,407 --> 00:08:13,157
So far, 10 out of 10 hilarious.
189
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,120
[screaming, ripping]
Why are you here?
190
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,620
I'm just really pretty, right? [laughs]
191
00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:18,753
[whirring]
192
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:19,959
Ooh! Sorry I'm late.
193
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:22,668
You're one of Blossom's
ladiesinwaiting.
194
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,919
Does she know you're here?
195
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:26,091
Uh... Sure!
196
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,387
Ivy.
Here!
197
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,135
Human Shield.
[grunts]
198
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,557
Fern.
199
00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:35,385
IVY [highpitched]
Present!
200
00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:43,269
Fern, just say "here"
like a normal person,
201
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,193
you pretentious twat!
202
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:49,071
Working for Blossom is like
getting assfucked with a jalapeno!
203
00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:53,331
But if I'm queen, it will be my
jalapeno doing the assfucking!
204
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,695
Ugh... That's hard to respond to.
205
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,792
♪
206
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,408
[grunts] Oh, sorry.
207
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:02,254
Mom?! What are you doing here?
208
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:05,251
Your father wants to see me in
a swimsuit in front of a crowd.
209
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,094
It's his new thing.
Last year,
210
00:09:07,089 --> 00:09:10,179
it was watching me do an erotic dance
while holding three bananas!
211
00:09:11,927 --> 00:09:15,597
[vibrating] This position reminds me
of another thing your father's into!
212
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,517
Ugh! Mom, stop being gross!
[whirring]
213
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,596
Don't kink shame, honey!
214
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:20,981
[crowd murmuring]
215
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:22,858
Oh, come on, sir, cheer up.
216
00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:25,355
We all miss Queen What'sHerFace
217
00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,187
Tulip!
Right, Queen Dollop.
218
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:30,112
But, look around.
You're the envy of every man
219
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:31,822
and the desire of every woman.
220
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:34,032
Nothing you say can cheer me up.
221
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,372
[grunting, straining]
[sloshing]
222
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:39,498
And now, every man's fantasy.
223
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:43,326
Women slithering around in goo
made from melteddown horse hooves!
224
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,883
Let the gelatin wrestling begin!
225
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:48,208
[crowd cheering]
Ooh! There's always room for gelatin.
226
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:51,133
[grunting, yelling]
[splattering]
227
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,303
It's somehow more erotic
228
00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:55,682
watching with a friend.
[women yelling]
229
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:56,719
♪
230
00:09:56,722 --> 00:09:57,722
[sighs]
231
00:09:57,723 --> 00:10:01,233
I've gotta find a way
to help you out of this,
232
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,936
but how?
How indeed!
233
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,106
Ah! What the fuck! Who are you?
234
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:07,232
Sir Blemish, at your service!
235
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:10,902
If you need a bedpan emptied
or a lesson learned, I'm your man.
236
00:10:10,903 --> 00:10:12,613
Wait, you're a knight?
237
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,783
I sure am!
But, you're...
238
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:17,911
Elbowdeep in people juice?
I used to be a topranking knight
239
00:10:17,910 --> 00:10:20,450
until the year I drew the king
for Secret Santa.
240
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,164
I couldn't think of the right gift,
panicked,
241
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:24,294
and shoved a bunch of
yarn into a paper bag.
242
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,881
I was demoted on the spot.
243
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:28,586
That's why the gift is
supposed to be secret.
244
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,297
I know that now. Anyway,
one day, you're on top of the world,
245
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,968
and the next, you're a piss jockey.
246
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,756
But, that's the life of a knight!
[sloshing]
247
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,390
Well, I'm going to wake up Queen Tulip,
no matter how long it takes.
248
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:41,098
Well, according to royal rule,
if a new queen is crowned,
249
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,309
Tulip will go back to being
Tulip Anderson,
250
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,020
and she'll do what most former queens do.
251
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,560
Sell makeup to her friends
in an escalating pyramid scheme
252
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,154
until she alienates everyone
who's ever cared about her.
253
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,320
I won't let that happen. I promise.
254
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,820
I'll help!
I just gotta empty this first.
255
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,492
[gulping]
256
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:59,871
[gagging] Oh, hell no!
257
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:00,868
[satisfied sigh]
258
00:11:02,838 --> 00:11:04,118
♪
259
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:06,712
Excuse me?
We're looking for medical books
260
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:10,088
focused on women,
preferably with a lot of pictures.
261
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,384
Why?
262
00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:15,511
Well, we're trying to wake
the queen up from her coma.
263
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,553
Women In Comas.
264
00:11:18,554 --> 00:11:20,314
Aisle 23.
265
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,805
[pages turning]
266
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,890
Why are so many fairy tales
about unconscious women?
267
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,234
Wish fulfillment!
268
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:30,519
Ooh! This one looks interesting!
PATRICK: That's not what you think it is.
269
00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,986
[muttering]
270
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,775
[gasp] I think I know what to do!
271
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,485
This is just about a legume!
272
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,160
How disgusting!
273
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,408
♪
274
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:43,911
[cape whipping]
275
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:47,042
Areare you sure you know what to do?
276
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,880
I'm a dashing prince.
It's my job to wake up sleeping beauties.
277
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,878
♪ romantic music swells ♪
278
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:59,426
I respect you. I would very much like it
if you woke up on your own time.
279
00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:01,048
I honor your boundaries.
280
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,064
Now everyone, give her some space!
That's the final step.
281
00:12:05,851 --> 00:12:09,061
Aren't you supposed to kiss her?
Kiss an unconscious woman?
282
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,862
I'm not falling for that one again.
283
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,146
Harrumph!
284
00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:14,896
♪
285
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,322
We can't bring her out of her coma,
286
00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:19,361
but we can offer an aroundtheclock
287
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,204
sevenpronged security system if you like.
288
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,833
If you're here,
who's guarding Snow White?
289
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:29,119
Oh, don't worry about it.
She's safe in her secure glass case.
290
00:12:29,124 --> 00:12:30,464
[birds chirping]
291
00:12:30,459 --> 00:12:33,459
[snarling, growling]
292
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:39,796
I mean, she's probably fine, right?
293
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:42,101
♪
294
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,675
I'm here to put your queen
295
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,891
into a coma!
296
00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,899
Ugh! She's already in a coma!
297
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:52,555
Damn, I'm good! Nice job, Ethel!
298
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,234
[crunch, gagging]
299
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:58,202
Oh my god!
Ah! That's just a bit I do.
300
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,735
[crackling laughter]
[sighs]
301
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,159
You're funny.
302
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,907
So, do you like piss?
[sloshing]
303
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:04,989
Wha...
304
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,663
♪
305
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:09,923
[crunching]
306
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,415
[bell ringing]
[crowd cheering]
307
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,262
[panting, grunting]
308
00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:18,215
[bell ringing]
309
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:20,545
[Australian accent on mic]
Ooh! She just went down unda!
310
00:13:20,551 --> 00:13:23,181
That was Fern with a very weird talent.
311
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:25,888
Our next contestant hasanother weird talent called
312
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,719
Mongolian throat singing!
313
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,734
I don't know what that is,but I like the word throat.
314
00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:33,017
I'm Trina, and if I win,
315
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,231
I'm gonna use the money to go to college!
316
00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,402
[crowd cheering]
317
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:38,531
[clears throat]
318
00:13:39,111 --> 00:13:42,321
[playing morin khuur]
319
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,832
♪ throat singing ♪
320
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,867
[crying]
321
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,793
Brava! [crying]
322
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,212
That was a disaster. Somehow,
323
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:58,801
she's even more comatose
than she was before,
324
00:13:58,797 --> 00:14:01,257
and we're running out of time!
What do we do?
325
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,758
There's only one thing we can do.
326
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,308
Forgive me, my queen.
327
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:12,099
It's the merciful thing to do!
What are you doing?!
328
00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:15,192
[yelling, struggling]
329
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:17,360
[rip]
[Patrick grunts]
330
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,436
[gasps] That's it!
331
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,284
We need to find the inventor
of this machine to reverse it!
332
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,450
His name is Fettuccine da Vinci.
333
00:14:25,449 --> 00:14:27,909
Like Leonardo?
FETTUCCINE: Nothing like that
334
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:31,160
bullshithackarchitectwannabeasswad!
335
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:34,581
[birds chirping]
336
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:37,213
When I flew, I gota stucka.
337
00:14:37,211 --> 00:14:38,961
Been herea the whole time.
338
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,422
Wasn't it weird when that guy drank pee?
339
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,473
[clearing throat loudly]
Oh, that was you?
340
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:47,548
I gotta be honest, that wasa disgusting.
341
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,814
I mean, Gesùs Cristos, dude.
342
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:50,806
♪ death metal ♪
343
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:54,267
♪ Swords and shipsand gold and dicks! ♪
344
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,439
[guitar solo]
345
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:01,687
[grunting to music]
346
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:02,693
[crowd cheering]
347
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,364
Next up, the oratory partof the competition!
348
00:15:05,364 --> 00:15:06,744
KING MERRIMAN:
Woo!
349
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,660
Oratory, not oral.
350
00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:09,699
KING MERRIMAN:
Boo!
351
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,791
But they will be in bathing suits!
352
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:13,537
[crowd and King Merriman cheering]
353
00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:15,249
I often reflect on the fact that
354
00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:18,089
we're only a small partof the big universe.
355
00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,125
And if you stood far enough away
356
00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:21,418
and looked back at us,
357
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,841
we'd be nothing morethan a tiny blue speck
358
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:25,591
in the midst of vastness,
359
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:29,012
completely insignificant.
360
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,102
[coughing]
361
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:32,768
The question was,
362
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,436
have you ever kissed a girl, and if so,
363
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,935
how much?
But
364
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,687
Stacy, there's a lot of tensionbetween rulers right now.
365
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:41,570
As the Kingdom's Next Top Queen,
366
00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:44,237
how would you keep us from going to war?
367
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:47,486
Um, I think that we shouldhelp other kingdoms and such,
368
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:50,119
and the kingdoms need kings and such.
369
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,077
And my dog is my best friend,
370
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,537
and my dog won't eat vegetables,
371
00:15:54,538 --> 00:15:58,378
which is bad because vegetablesare good... and such.
372
00:15:58,375 --> 00:15:59,995
Also, in college,
373
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,252
I kissed a girl and such.
374
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:04,264
[cheering]
375
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:06,586
Congratulations!That's the correct answer!
376
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:08,392
Just give her the crown!
377
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,505
Tulip would think she's super hot!
378
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:12,012
♪
379
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,524
[wind blowing]
380
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,151
Red to red, black to black.
381
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,938
If this doesn't work,
the king will have you beheaded.
382
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:26,242
Ha! You hear that, Leonardo?
383
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,736
I'm so dangerous, I might be beheaded!
384
00:16:28,739 --> 00:16:32,079
Bet your little fucking paintings
never gota this much heat!
385
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,485
[thunder rumbling]
386
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,953
Quickly! A convenient storm is rolling in!
387
00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:38,464
[thunder, zapping]
388
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:41,627
[fizzling]
389
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:43,714
[zap]
390
00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:47,093
It's working! She's alive!
391
00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,340
[wind blowing]
392
00:16:50,135 --> 00:16:52,135
Did I do it? Did I fix it?
393
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:54,889
Uh...
394
00:16:54,890 --> 00:16:55,890
♪
395
00:17:00,145 --> 00:17:02,355
You really disappointed me, Fettuccine!
396
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:04,146
Dad? Is thata you? No?
397
00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,069
Then shuta the fuck up!
398
00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:08,238
We have to find the queen
before it's too late!
399
00:17:08,237 --> 00:17:10,157
If you see her, remind her to hydrate.
400
00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:12,985
Things are looking a little brown
in peepee town.
401
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,911
Will you stop following me?
And put down that bedpan!
402
00:17:15,911 --> 00:17:17,411
[panting]
403
00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:22,537
And now, the momentyou've all been waiting for!
404
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:24,753
King Merriman will crown the kingdom's
405
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,673
Next Top Queen!
406
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:29,092
Making it as if Queen Tulip never existed.
407
00:17:29,967 --> 00:17:32,217
Ah!
[King Merriman laughing]
408
00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:35,138
[panting]
[crowd gasping]
409
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,138
No!
410
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,469
King Merriman,
411
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,984
stop!
412
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:42,726
Patrick, if you want to compete,
you need to go back to the beginning.
413
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:43,979
Get this man a bikini!
414
00:17:43,981 --> 00:17:46,941
Sire, Queen Tulip is awake...
and missing...
415
00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:49,442
and probably really mad.
[thunder]
416
00:17:49,444 --> 00:17:51,074
[screaming]
[crowd gasping]
417
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:53,201
No! New Tulip!
418
00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,578
[approaching stomping]
419
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,656
[loud stomping]
420
00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,911
[zapping, thunder]
421
00:17:58,912 --> 00:18:01,162
[gasps, screaming]
422
00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:04,290
Hooray! Oh, Tulip...
423
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:05,963
[electric fizzling]
[growling]
424
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,260
Sugar plum, you're awake
425
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,335
[zap]
[Blinkerquartz screaming]
426
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,339
Don't "sugar plum" me!
427
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:14,011
I was in a masturbation
coma for a few hours,
428
00:18:14,011 --> 00:18:17,561
and you move to replace me
with some barely legal trollop?!
429
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:20,676
I should put everyone
in this room to death!
430
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:23,024
[click, whirring]
ArrivadaVinci!
431
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,520
Ah!
[bang, smash]
432
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,526
I'm okay! Wow, it'sa dusty up here!
433
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:30,436
[electric fizzling]
434
00:18:30,444 --> 00:18:32,324
This is a misunderstanding.
435
00:18:32,321 --> 00:18:34,281
I didn't want to replace you,
436
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,531
but, politically, I had to.
437
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,123
Then, I wanted to
438
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,868
because there was musical numbers
439
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,370
and gelatin!
Hyah!
440
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:42,291
[crowd gasps]
441
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:45,379
This might be my fried brain
and bruised cervix talking,
442
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,285
but maybe we don't need a king.
443
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:51,304
Welcome to Queenstown, motherfuckers!
444
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,968
[electric fizzling]
445
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:54,889
Is she dead yet?
446
00:18:54,885 --> 00:18:58,465
Make the inheritance check out to
Awesome Blossom. It's my LLC.
447
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,892
Not now, petal.
Mommy and Daddy are having a disagreement.
448
00:19:01,892 --> 00:19:04,812
Mommy thinks Daddy should die,
Daddy disagrees.
449
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:06,311
She's not dead?
450
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:09,193
I'm missing Salisbury steak day at school.
451
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,111
One of you better fucking die!
452
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:14,069
Oh, one of us is gonna die.
[zap]
453
00:19:14,071 --> 00:19:16,281
Ah! Ow! Ah! Ah!
454
00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,623
Damn. I knew it was too good to last.
455
00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:21,659
Hyah!
[King Merriman gasping]
456
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:25,332
But if she kills Merriman,
the whole kingdom will collapse.
457
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:28,672
[snorting]
458
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:30,049
♪
459
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:33,415
I am really sorry, Blossom,
but this is for the greater good.
460
00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,513
You're a weird dude, Patrick.
461
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,469
[crowd gasps]
[Blossom screaming]
462
00:19:37,469 --> 00:19:39,559
[stilted] Oh no! Tulip!
463
00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:43,135
Merriman!
I guess you better stop fighting
464
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:44,641
and help your daughter!
465
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:46,650
BOTH:
Blossom!
466
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:48,805
Patrick, you fucking dick!
467
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:50,824
Ah! Holy shit!
468
00:19:50,816 --> 00:19:53,486
Fern? But you were
in roll call this morning!
469
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,855
[stomping, snort]
470
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,409
Oh my god,
471
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,946
were you trying to win sex with my dad?!
472
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,540
Princess Blossom, behind you!
473
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,246
[snort]
Oh shit.
474
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,366
Oh!
475
00:20:05,372 --> 00:20:07,372
Tulip! Use your weird devil eyes!
476
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,384
I'm out of juice, you idiot!
477
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,336
♪
478
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:12,376
[both grunt]
479
00:20:13,297 --> 00:20:15,377
[King Merriman gasping]
I don't need to be rescued.
480
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,632
I'm a grown woman,
not some little bitch.
481
00:20:18,552 --> 00:20:20,552
Ah!
[Queen Tulip grunts, strains]
482
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:24,141
Who else has a violence boner?
Eh? Raise your dicks.
483
00:20:24,141 --> 00:20:26,141
Daddy! Get us outta here!
484
00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:28,270
♪
485
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,900
[gasps] Human centipede!
486
00:20:29,897 --> 00:20:32,397
BLOSSOM/TULIP: What?
I mean human ladder!
487
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:36,243
[grunting in effort]
488
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,067
Ah, I got the fucking shaft.
And it was my idea.
489
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,493
Hold on. We'll get a rope.
490
00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:43,991
[stomping]
491
00:20:43,994 --> 00:20:46,004
[snorting]
492
00:20:45,996 --> 00:20:48,166
♪
493
00:20:48,165 --> 00:20:50,665
No. I deserve this.
494
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,287
[snort]
495
00:20:53,337 --> 00:20:54,417
[whooshing]
496
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:58,014
[punch]
[slowmotion screaming]
497
00:20:58,008 --> 00:21:01,008
[bell ringing]
[stomping]
498
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:05,853
This bastard's having a heart attack!
I have to save him!
499
00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:07,679
Or her. II shouldn't assume.
500
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,524
♪
501
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,810
[panting]
502
00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:13,653
[blowing]
503
00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:16,939
My selfsacrifice gets
really muddled if you die!
504
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:20,241
[crying]
505
00:21:20,239 --> 00:21:23,579
I couldn't save him. Or her.
506
00:21:23,575 --> 00:21:26,495
[sobbing]
507
00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:33,246
♪ heavenly music ♪
508
00:21:33,252 --> 00:21:35,752
[gasps] It was a her.
509
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:38,344
Don't worry! I saved the kid!
510
00:21:39,508 --> 00:21:40,508
[thud, snap]
511
00:21:42,052 --> 00:21:45,472
That is a very unlucky gene pool.
512
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,932
♪
513
00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:49,432
Everything worked out in the end.
514
00:21:49,434 --> 00:21:51,814
Well, the queen is alive
and back on the throne,
515
00:21:51,812 --> 00:21:54,232
but it was my fault in the first place.
516
00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:57,611
No matter what I do,
I always seem to screw things up.
517
00:21:57,609 --> 00:22:00,449
Sometimes, I wonder if
I'm even meant to be a knight.
518
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,735
Did you ever wonder that?
519
00:22:01,738 --> 00:22:03,948
[gulping]
520
00:22:03,949 --> 00:22:06,409
Eh, know what? Never mind.
BLOSSOM: Shh!
521
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:08,830
[whispering]
This is a funeral. Christ!
522
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:10,749
Have some goddamn respect.
523
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:13,997
[morin khuur playing]
524
00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:17,001
♪ Mongolian throat singing ♪
525
00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:27,805
[sniffling]
526
00:22:28,682 --> 00:22:31,142
[quietly] So, we're all good, right?
527
00:22:31,143 --> 00:22:34,273
As far as the kingdom
and our reputation are concerned, yes.
528
00:22:34,271 --> 00:22:37,521
As far as you and I are concerned,
absolutely fucking not.
529
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:39,534
Because of the mereplacingyou thing?!
530
00:22:41,153 --> 00:22:43,113
You're right. That was bad.
531
00:22:43,113 --> 00:22:45,623
I'm sorry. And now, you forgive me.
532
00:22:45,616 --> 00:22:46,866
[Queen Tulip groans]
533
00:22:46,867 --> 00:22:48,867
[crying]
534
00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:50,749
Oh, she forgives me.
535
00:22:50,746 --> 00:22:53,366
That kangaroo was a rental!
536
00:22:53,373 --> 00:22:56,423
I lost my deposit!
537
00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:59,248
[sobbing]
538
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:04,131
♪ whistling ♪
539
00:23:08,972 --> 00:23:12,022
♪ ominous music ♪
540
00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:15,521
♪ dramatic sting ♪
541
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:19,570
[squishing]
542
00:23:25,822 --> 00:23:28,492
[wolves howling]
543
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:32,409
♪
544
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:05,402
[8bit video game music]
545
00:24:05,404 --> 00:24:07,284
KID:
That was amazing.
546
00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:09,281
[paper cutting, monkey hoots, clap]
547
00:24:09,331 --> 00:24:13,881
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39524
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
