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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:43,391 ♪ Oh, yeah, yeah... ♪ 2 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,741 ♪ Everybody, everybody ♪ 3 00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:48,135 ♪ Always blames it On Christmas ♪ 4 00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:49,962 ♪ This has become ♪ 5 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:51,921 ♪ A Christmas tradition ♪ 6 00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,010 ♪ To blame it on Christmas ♪ 7 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:58,058 ♪ Go ahead and blame it All on... ♪ 8 00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:01,104 ♪ I said, everybody, everybody ♪ 9 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,585 ♪ Always blames it On Christmas ♪ 10 00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:07,110 ♪ This has become A Christmas tradition ♪ 11 00:01:07,154 --> 00:01:10,679 - ♪ So blame it on Christmas ♪ - ♪ Oh, you can blame it ♪ 12 00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:13,812 ♪ Cinnamon spices Fill the room ♪ 13 00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,814 ♪ Family members ♪ 14 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,773 ♪ Will be here soon ♪ 15 00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:22,299 ♪ The snowfall makes Good, full snowballs ♪ 16 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,214 ♪ Red and white Christmas lights ♪ 17 00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,042 ♪ Fill the malls ♪ 18 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,262 ♪ Something "bout them Bells jingling ♪" 19 00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:29,828 ♪ People mingling ♪ 20 00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:32,353 ♪ Brings out The crazy in us all ♪ 21 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:48,282 Hey, monkey, when"d you get back? Last night. 22 00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:50,327 How was your research retreat? 23 00:01:50,371 --> 00:01:51,894 It was great. I learned a lot, 24 00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:54,505 and, um, Forsite is doing some great initiatives 25 00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,986 in developing nations, especially Botswana. 26 00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,988 I heard our company was doing great things. 27 00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,556 That"s so interesting. 28 00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:03,403 Not as interesting as that shirt you"re wearing. 29 00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:04,863 Can we talk about that for a second? 30 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,319 What, you don"t... You don"t like this? 31 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,389 I was just trying something new. Yeah, no. 32 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,042 I picked up your dry cleaning 33 00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,609 and folded all the laundry. 34 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:14,046 Uh, how does pot roast sound for dinner? 35 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:18,181 Emma, it"s been two years since Mom. 36 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:22,054 Honey, you don"t have to keep taking care of me like this. 37 00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:25,188 You have potato chips and vodka for dinner when I"m not here. 38 00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:28,583 It"s been two months. You"re probably half-potato by now. 39 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,976 What was that message that you left about the lake house? 40 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,413 We"re not going for the holidays? 41 00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,371 Yeah, I just wasn"t feeling it this year. 42 00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,809 God, we"re so behind here. 43 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,681 We still have to decorate the house. 44 00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:42,205 - The tree. - Get the tree. 45 00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:43,554 Brandy? 46 00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,775 "What is she doing back at her parents" house? 47 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,951 I thought she lived in Los Angeles. 48 00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:52,128 Uh, no, actually she"s lived all over for the last year. 49 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,391 She was the road manager for The Seven Strokes. 50 00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:58,482 Was she "Head of Stroking"? 51 00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:01,224 "She tired of traveling, so she moved back into her folks" house, 52 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:04,053 -which is empty. - How do you know all that? Have you talked to her? 53 00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:07,099 Well, she"s been back a few months, so yes. 54 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,798 You"ve just been gone for most of that time, 55 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:12,322 so you probably just didn"t run into her. 56 00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:13,715 Thank God. 57 00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,804 Shit! 58 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,893 What? What are you doing? 59 00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:20,461 - Get down! - Come on. Get up. 60 00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:21,810 Don"t let her see you! 61 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,420 What is wrong with you? 62 00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:24,987 No, don"t! 63 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:33,604 - Hi, Brandy. - Hi, is Emma here? 64 00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:36,128 Yeah. 65 00:03:38,087 --> 00:03:41,003 Oh, hey! How are ya, lady? 66 00:03:41,046 --> 00:03:43,048 - It"s been a minute. - Ten years. 67 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,268 Right. Well, I heard you were out of town. 68 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:47,183 Welcome back. 69 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,055 Anyway, I just wanted to come over and holler at ya. 70 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,669 Uh... 71 00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:56,801 also, I wanted to say that I was really sorry 72 00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,456 to hear about your mom. She was a badass. 73 00:04:00,936 --> 00:04:03,155 Do you remember that time she took us to the mall, 74 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,003 and we bought those bras with the pineapples on "em?" 75 00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:07,899 How could I forget? 76 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,206 My mom was pretty distracted back then, 77 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,904 going through the divorce and everything, and... 78 00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,776 Well, Jo was really sweet to me. 79 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,560 I"ll never forget it. 80 00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,650 Joanna. Nobody called her Jo. 81 00:04:21,957 --> 00:04:24,394 Okay... then. 82 00:04:24,438 --> 00:04:26,135 Well, maybe I"ll see you around. 83 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,012 You tell her. 84 00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,797 I know. 85 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,758 Emma. 86 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,194 I know you"re going to your dad's 87 00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,805 for Christmas, but New Year"s, 88 00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,502 you"re going out with me and my girl Lola. 89 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,678 That sounds fun, but Dad and I always watch... 90 00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:49,874 - Please don"t finish that. - Ryan Seacrest"s Rockin" Eve. 91 00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,334 Oh, God. All right. 92 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,510 Well, Hot John from PR... You know Hot John? 93 00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:55,338 Oh, Hot John. The... The swoopy hair? 94 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,687 Uh, he"s having a party.Oh. 95 00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,167 And I don"t like dudes, 96 00:04:58,210 --> 00:04:59,951 but I"ll go if you"ll need a wingman. 97 00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:01,842 We"re gonna get you in an outfit the breeders find sexy. 98 00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,868 You"re gonna get drunk and laid 99 00:05:03,912 --> 00:05:05,957 like a normal 20-something-year-old human. 100 00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:07,524 I"m normal. 101 00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,570 You cook your dad pot roast, 102 00:05:09,613 --> 00:05:13,051 and I can bet the blazer you"re wearing under there is from Talbots. 103 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:15,184 I"m sorry for helping my lonely widowed father 104 00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,882 through a hard time. I"m a monster. 105 00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:21,712 Here"s the real question. Are you helping him or yourself? 106 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:23,801 Is he lonely, or are you? 107 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,369 Ouch, Charlyne. I"m sorry. 108 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,284 But eventually your dad is gonna find 109 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,851 friends his own age and start dating, 110 00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,070 and where"s that gonna leave you? 111 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:35,378 Your dad"s getting laid, and you"re not? That"s bottom. 112 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,859 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dad"s not getting laid, okay? - Right. 113 00:05:37,902 --> 00:05:40,862 It"s been two years. Yeah, two years. 114 00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:42,429 Two years. Two years. 115 00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:45,388 - What are you talking about? - T-Two years. Really? 116 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:49,261 When"s the last time someone touched your shame center? 117 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:50,915 Oh, you mean my mistletoe? 118 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,439 Yes, your south pole. 119 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:55,050 My happy valley. 120 00:05:55,093 --> 00:05:56,530 No, no, no, your snowflake valley. 121 00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,619 Right. 122 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:01,535 Ugh! The last time someone jingled my bells... 123 00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,406 Mmm-hmm. Including myself? 124 00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,929 Yes. 125 00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,496 I"d say watching The Mandalorian 126 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,237 a few nights ago. Do not distract them. 127 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,282 The only thing you nerds should be thinking about 128 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,676 is solid-state lithium batteries. 129 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:13,851 Pick that up. 130 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,202 Say hi to Daddy for me. 131 00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:20,336 You"re fired. I don't have the authority to do that, but if I did... 132 00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,255 Is he in, Beatrice? 133 00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:27,691 Yes, go ahead, hon. 134 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,042 Nice jacket. 135 00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,176 Hey. What"s up, Dad? 136 00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:37,005 Pickup truck sales. Classic is in again. 137 00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,400 Classics are never out of style. 138 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:42,793 Ooh, I forgot to tell you, 139 00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,882 I have a breakfast meeting this morning, um... 140 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,318 Oh, okay, I was just wondering 141 00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:49,452 what day I should come up for the holidays. 142 00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:52,542 Yeah, I"ve been meaning to talk to you about that. 143 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,631 - All right. - Just kind of a logistical thing, 144 00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:57,001 but we don"t have to talk about it now. We can talk about it later. 145 00:06:57,025 --> 00:07:00,202 "Logistics." Did you turn my bedroom into a gym or something? 146 00:07:00,245 --> 00:07:01,421 No. 147 00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:13,737 ♪ Yo, yo, yo ♪ 148 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:17,132 ♪ You know what it is ♪ 149 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:20,091 ♪ Turn it up Uh-huh, let"s go ♪ 150 00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:21,702 ♪ Walk in the place I own it ♪ 151 00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:23,747 ♪ Walk in... Walk in the place, I own it ♪ 152 00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:25,880 ♪ Walk in... Walk in the place, I own it ♪ 153 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:28,404 ♪ Walk in... Walk in the place, I own it ♪ 154 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,232 ♪ Walk in the place I own it ♪ 155 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:32,079 ♪ Need all the attention And I need it on the daily ♪ 156 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,628 ♪ Spotlight queen Put the cameras on me ♪ 157 00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:36,107 What are you doing here? 158 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,022 I"m here to gab with your dad. 159 00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:39,197 He didn"t tell you? 160 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,983 Brandy"s my breakfast meeting, 161 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,115 which was supposed to be at the Russell Street Deli. 162 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:49,207 Oh, right. Well, that explains the dress. 163 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,861 Well, actually I left a message with Bea 164 00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,297 that I"d come here instead. 165 00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,169 Yeah, mmm. 166 00:07:54,212 --> 00:07:56,301 Didn"t get that message. 167 00:07:56,345 --> 00:07:59,261 Uh, why don"t we go back inside? Come on. 168 00:08:02,394 --> 00:08:04,701 Oh, I guess we double-dunked. 169 00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,834 But you can never have too many holes. 170 00:08:06,877 --> 00:08:09,140 Some of us max out at two. 171 00:08:09,184 --> 00:08:11,621 So, what are you meeting with my dad about? 172 00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,232 Well, I just got a job managing a bar downtown. 173 00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,191 The Raven, you remember it? 174 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,561 Of course, I mean, who hasn"t puked in a bathroom stall there? 175 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,935 Or peed in the alley, right? 176 00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:23,590 Anyhoo, Forsite Motors is gonna be a sponsor 177 00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,113 for our New Year"s Eve concert 178 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,768 - for homelessness. - You"re for homelessness? 179 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,987 You"ve always had a funny sense of humor. 180 00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:33,295 That"s redundant. But my dad"s not the one 181 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,558 that you talk to about sponsorships. 182 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,256 Well, Jack said he could handle it this one time. 183 00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,477 You didn"t mention that, Jack. 184 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,525 Oh, um, it wasn"t a big deal. 185 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:48,615 The concert"s gonna be fun. 186 00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,965 So maybe we could all go together. 187 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,882 I like fun. 188 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:57,624 Your musical taste runs from Bruce to Springsteen, 189 00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:00,583 so, maybe we should all just get back to work? 190 00:09:01,584 --> 00:09:03,151 I"m sure you have dressing rooms 191 00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:05,849 that need to be restocked with gin and herpes meds. 192 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:09,026 Um, all right, let"s go. 193 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,332 - Brandy? - Yeah. 194 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,594 Come on. 195 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:14,815 Yeah. 196 00:09:23,824 --> 00:09:25,652 How annoying is she? 197 00:09:25,695 --> 00:09:27,392 She"s meeting with my dad? 198 00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,525 I know, and I can"t believe 199 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:33,398 she had the nerve to come up to this office. 200 00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:36,706 What? Bea? 201 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,404 Oh, this isn"t their first meeting. 202 00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:41,885 Wait, meeting or... meeting? 203 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,498 Mmm-hmm. 204 00:09:52,853 --> 00:09:54,376 You just have to tell her. 205 00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:57,509 I know I just have to tell her, it just... 206 00:09:57,553 --> 00:09:59,555 It"s not that easy. It"s Emma, right? 207 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,948 What the... Oh! 208 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:03,428 Just... 209 00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:06,257 "Very well, young lady, drive safely." 210 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,607 "Thank you, kindly sir." 211 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,260 Anyway, I have to get back to the office. 212 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,871 Is there any chance we could... 213 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,524 - Bye-bye. - Can I see you tonight? 214 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:13,806 Yeah, well, make sure you turn off... 215 00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:15,615 - I said "bye-bye." - the porch light. 216 00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:18,182 Wha... stop. 217 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:21,055 Rape. Stop raping my dad! 218 00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:22,404 - Oh, shit. - Shit. 219 00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:24,188 - Shit. - Wha... 220 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,723 Here you go. 221 00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:38,507 That should do it. 222 00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,687 ♪ The itsy-bitsy spider ♪ 223 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,689 ♪ Went up the water spout ♪ 224 00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:47,951 ♪ Down came the... ♪ 225 00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:55,655 Okay, here"s what obviously happened. 226 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,832 That Venus fly-snatch 227 00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:01,051 preyed on you during a vulnerable time. 228 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,879 But it"s not your fault. 229 00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:04,315 You"re just a lonely old widower 230 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,839 whose only female connection now 231 00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,710 are the local news weather ladies. 232 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:15,370 Brandy and I are seeing each other. 233 00:11:16,327 --> 00:11:19,548 Like... seeing each other"s... 234 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,506 privates? 235 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,945 Geez. 236 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,297 Just... Just stop it. I need to get it out. 237 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,170 Stop, stop, stop. 238 00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,695 Please. Okay, I have to get out of here. 239 00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:36,739 I"ve... 240 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,793 Dad? 241 00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:50,100 Brandy and I are the same age. 242 00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:51,972 We went to school together. 243 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:54,539 We bought the same pineapple bras. 244 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:57,629 Yeah, that"s not ideal, but a lot"s changed since then. 245 00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,631 I didn"t even know you were friends back then. 246 00:11:59,675 --> 00:12:01,155 We weren "t.What I"m trying to say is, 247 00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:04,288 you should get to know Brandy now, like I did. 248 00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:05,768 She"s fantastic. She is. 249 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,204 She"s generous, open-hearted, 250 00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:08,815 - beautiful. - Oh. 251 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,339 I"m gonna punch you in the throat, widow-raper. 252 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,775 What? 253 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,298 Okay, you know what? No. 254 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,736 Emma, come on out here. Let"s talk. 255 00:12:16,779 --> 00:12:18,172 Emma... 256 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,131 Will you please... 257 00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:23,394 I like it here. 258 00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:24,656 I live here now. 259 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,399 Okay. 260 00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:31,098 I"m really sorry that you had to find out like that, okay? 261 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,274 I kept telling your dad we should just treat this 262 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:35,232 like a bikini wax. Just rip the strip. 263 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:36,636 She did. She said, "Rip the strip." 264 00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,453 It may hurt like hell at first, 265 00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,934 but then after that, it"s all... it's all smooth. 266 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,173 You know? And I told him you"re the smartest girl I know, 267 00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:46,504 -and that you were mature enough to handle this. - Oh, did you? 268 00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:48,811 And I knew that if you had time to really think about it, 269 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,944 you"d see that you"re not losing him, 270 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:54,338 - you"re gaining me. - Oh, am I? 271 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,905 Yeah. We really... 272 00:12:55,949 --> 00:12:58,212 We weren"t trying to hurt you. 273 00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:00,388 So, the two of you are "we" now? 274 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,259 - And I"m just me? - Oh. 275 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,871 - Yeah, but there are no sides. - No, we"re all in this together. 276 00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:07,003 In what together? Your vagina? 277 00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,526 No... 278 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,833 How long has this been going on for? 279 00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:16,621 How long? 280 00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,972 Two months. 281 00:13:19,015 --> 00:13:20,930 - Two months? - We didn"t plan it. 282 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:24,412 It just sort of happened... - Yeah. 283 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:27,415 Emma? 284 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,857 Brandy and I are spending the holidays together. 285 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,468 And we want you to join us. 286 00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:45,041 Thank you for your offer, 287 00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:47,478 but I am otherwise engaged for the holidays. 288 00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:49,611 You don"t have other plans. 289 00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:51,874 I will be building my bunker 290 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:55,312 and collecting my end-of-days supply, 291 00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:59,229 because a shroud of darkness has descended on the world. 292 00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,841 Evil has won 293 00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:03,407 and Christmas 294 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:06,628 is fucking canceled! 295 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:15,245 I can"t believe it. It"s a nightmare. 296 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:19,902 My dad is having sex with "Handy" Barnes! 297 00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:20,990 What"re you doing? 298 00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:23,384 The saltshaker. 299 00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,820 Pepper grinder. This is fun. 300 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,126 "Ooh, shakin" the snake. 301 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,650 What... Oh, stop it! Oh, gross! 302 00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:32,045 That is not my forte, but I know that"s not how you do that. 303 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,394 Who is "Handy" Barnes? 304 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:35,918 Brandy. We went to high school together. 305 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,877 She was my nemesis. 306 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,663 - She even stole my crush, Josh Jamison. - Oh. 307 00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:43,404 And now she"s dating my father. 308 00:14:43,447 --> 00:14:45,928 Gross, yeah, that has a certain "ick" factor to it. 309 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:49,540 Oh, you think? Our lockers were next to each other. 310 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,388 We spent afternoons together because study hall 311 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:53,283 and detention were in the same room. 312 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,546 Oh... oh, my God. 313 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,331 I borrowed a tampon from her once after gym. 314 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,724 I think that makes us Eskimo sisters. 315 00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:00,943 No, it doesn"t. 316 00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,511 God, what is my dad doing? 317 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:06,209 I mean, what could he possibly see in her? 318 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,689 Do you have a photo? 319 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,610 I know, she"s attractive. 320 00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,612 No, no, no. 321 00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:20,310 If I wasn"t dating Lola, I would literally step over your corpse 322 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,138 to cup those tits for five seconds. 323 00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:23,879 - Not helping. - Listen, 324 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:28,362 it is in a dude"s DNA to try and bang the hottest, 325 00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:30,277 youngest chick he can. 326 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,888 Mick Jagger"s partner is, like, the same age as his grandkid. 327 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,846 Gross. 328 00:15:34,890 --> 00:15:38,546 And he"s a Rolling Stone. My dad has gallstones. 329 00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:42,550 - You got a hot dad. - No, I don"t. 330 00:15:42,593 --> 00:15:45,422 Uh, yeah, he has foxy dad vibes. I"m sorry. 331 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:48,208 How would you like it if I started dating your father? 332 00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:49,925 You"d be the older woman, because he"s dating 333 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,689 his nail technician and she"s 22. 334 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:54,997 Yeah, after the third marriage, it gets a little blurry, 335 00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:58,218 but I do get kick-ass nail art from this one. 336 00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,871 Just please be on my side. 337 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:04,093 I am on your side... always. Probably just a sex thing. 338 00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:05,573 You just gotta wait it out. 339 00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:07,923 It"s when they think they"re in love 340 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,012 - that things get dicey. - In love? 341 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,058 Emma? 342 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,409 Oh, hey, Charlyne. 343 00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,326 Um, could I talk to my daughter? 344 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:25,985 Yeah, sure. I was, uh, just on my way out. 345 00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:30,163 I actually have a date with my own twenty-something, 346 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:32,730 smoking-hot girlfriend. Up top. 347 00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:40,869 Sorry I didn"t tell you sooner. 348 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,653 I wanted to wait 349 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:45,091 to see if it was something real. 350 00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,049 And then you were gone for a while, 351 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,921 and I guess it was hard to bring up. 352 00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:52,185 "Hard to bring up"? 353 00:16:52,228 --> 00:16:54,361 You negotiate with union bosses. 354 00:16:54,404 --> 00:16:56,537 I"m harder to talk to than Fat Frank? 355 00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,800 You"re my daughter. It"s different. 356 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,976 And I don"t want you to take this the wrong way, 357 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,586 but you can be judgmental, 358 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,111 and I was afraid that you might not approve. 359 00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:07,374 Well, I don"t.Well, I see that. 360 00:17:09,332 --> 00:17:12,727 You"re, like, 25 years older than her. 361 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:15,077 Aren"t you embarrassed when you go out together? 362 00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:17,688 - Why would I be embarrassed? - I don"t know, 363 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:21,605 because you look like an old fool who"s being taken advantage of. 364 00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,259 And people feel sorry for you. 365 00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,609 In my circles, I"m a hero. 366 00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:29,135 Guys high-five me on the street. 367 00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:31,330 - Charlyne just did. - Yeah, well, that guy"s a traitor. 368 00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,400 They say 50"s the new 30. 369 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:36,577 You"re 54 and a half. 370 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:39,841 I just never thought about you dating 371 00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,321 anyone, ever. 372 00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:44,628 Does it have to be now? Does it have to be her? 373 00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,848 - Could it be anyone but her? - Emma... 374 00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:51,287 You should be dating someone your own age. Like Beatrice. 375 00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:54,290 Brandy makes me feel young. What"s wrong with that? 376 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:58,120 What"s wrong with that is that you"re not young. 377 00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,817 You have a bad back. 378 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,491 It"s only a matter of time before you hurt yourself 379 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,560 doing some freaky sex shit. 380 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:06,215 You two are total opposites. 381 00:18:06,259 --> 00:18:09,000 You"ve had one job for 30 years. 382 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:10,654 You married the love of your life. 383 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:13,353 She spent the last year driving cross-country 384 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,224 in a smoke-filled sex wagon 385 00:18:15,268 --> 00:18:16,834 with a bunch of sweaty dudes. 386 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,271 I know this is overwhelming, 387 00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:21,274 but Brandy has brought a spark to my life 388 00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,797 that I really need. 389 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,278 It may not last, but she makes me happy now. 390 00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:28,890 It"s not that I don't want you to be happy, but... 391 00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,979 Just come spend the holidays with us. 392 00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,502 Just give her a chance. 393 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,244 I don"t know if I can. 394 00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:36,898 Well, just think about it. 395 00:18:36,941 --> 00:18:38,421 For me. 396 00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,272 Dad and I have spent every Christmas together 397 00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:04,926 since I was born. 398 00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,797 We"re each other's only family now. 399 00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,888 I don"t think I can spend a week with him and Brandy. 400 00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,717 So, how do we avoid a bloodbath? 401 00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:16,981 - Booze? - Okay. 402 00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:21,160 Or you could take the high road, get through the week, 403 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:24,119 and let the relationship fizzle out on its own. 404 00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:28,993 What? 405 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,126 What? 406 00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:41,180 I... I have to do something. 407 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:44,226 If she and Dad don"t see how wrong they are for each other, 408 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:47,055 then I have no choice but to show them. 409 00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:49,492 Or you could be the bigger person 410 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:52,930 and process your emotions like an adult and... 411 00:19:52,974 --> 00:19:55,542 Break them up. Yeah, I agree. 412 00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,023 I"ll do it by Christmas. 413 00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:01,287 You got four days, kid. 414 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,940 I can do it. 415 00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:06,335 God bless us, everyone. 416 00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:28,705 What about It"s a Wonderful Life? 417 00:20:28,749 --> 00:20:30,272 Oh, well, that"s a classic, 418 00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,709 but now you like classics. 419 00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,233 I do. 420 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,539 Hey, guys. 421 00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,411 Happy holidays. 422 00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,501 She came! 423 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,677 I"m so happy you're here! 424 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,070 Me too. 425 00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:48,986 And I"m sorry about the way I reacted the other day. 426 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:52,599 Um... the news was just shocking. 427 00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:55,036 Yeah, I know. Listen, even if we aren"t 428 00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:56,646 spending Christmas at the lake house, 429 00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,909 we can still do all the same stuff, right? 430 00:20:58,953 --> 00:21:02,304 Drinks at the country club. Our annual holiday party. 431 00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,306 Ice skating on the lake, if you want. 432 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,265 Of course, it"s tradition. 433 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,832 Hi, welcome. 434 00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:11,139 To my own house? Thank you. 435 00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,534 I"m sorry, that was rude, um... 436 00:21:15,491 --> 00:21:17,667 I wanted to apologize for 437 00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:19,930 calling you a widow-raper the other day. 438 00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,019 That"s okay. 439 00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:23,847 Hey, fresh start. 440 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,678 What? That... 441 00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:31,768 That"s my mother's apron. 442 00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:35,772 You"re wearing my dead mother"s apron. 443 00:21:39,863 --> 00:21:41,691 Oh, shit. I didn"t know. 444 00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:43,084 - Oh! - Oh! Emma! 445 00:21:43,127 --> 00:21:44,303 Wait, wait... Are you okay? 446 00:21:44,346 --> 00:21:45,782 No, no, no, don"t touch me. 447 00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:47,741 Okay. 448 00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:52,136 Well, that"s new. 449 00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:54,225 What, this? Yeah, well, yeah. 450 00:21:54,269 --> 00:21:56,445 Of course we moved a few things around. 451 00:21:57,620 --> 00:22:00,362 What is that thing? 452 00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:07,891 We went artificial this year "cause Brandy has allergies." 453 00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:10,154 Sometimes I... I get a little sneezy. 454 00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:17,988 Where are all my trophies? 455 00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:19,599 Um, they"re right there. 456 00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:21,949 We were hoping you"d take 'em home. 457 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,389 - I-I need some air. - No, no, no, no, hey... 458 00:23:20,181 --> 00:23:21,835 What can I get ya, doll? 459 00:23:23,489 --> 00:23:26,709 What I don"t need is some kind of old-timey hipster slang. 460 00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:28,972 Not in the mood, newsie cap. 461 00:23:30,321 --> 00:23:32,411 Just a friendly gesture, ma"am. 462 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:35,065 Vodka tonic. 463 00:23:35,109 --> 00:23:36,806 Coming right up. 464 00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:48,601 Here you are.Thanks. 465 00:23:49,776 --> 00:23:52,648 Sorry, it"s just been a rough night. 466 00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:54,433 That"s what we're here for. 467 00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:55,695 Port in a storm. 468 00:23:57,218 --> 00:24:00,830 God, who... who says stuff like that? 469 00:24:00,874 --> 00:24:02,397 You know what? I"ll tell you who. 470 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:04,027 Pretty people who think they can get away 471 00:24:04,051 --> 00:24:05,835 with anything they want 472 00:24:05,879 --> 00:24:08,664 at regular people"s expense. 473 00:24:08,708 --> 00:24:10,250 I"m just saying, you would never be able 474 00:24:10,274 --> 00:24:12,320 to get away with a phrase like "port in the storm" 475 00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:14,670 if you didn"t look like that. 476 00:24:14,714 --> 00:24:16,063 Look like what? 477 00:24:19,545 --> 00:24:22,896 Okay, that"s gonna be $8. 478 00:24:32,732 --> 00:24:35,952 Emma Lockhart? Holy shit. 479 00:24:35,996 --> 00:24:37,669 You used to be Brandy Barnes" next-door neighbor, 480 00:24:37,693 --> 00:24:40,304 - right? - Yep. 481 00:24:40,348 --> 00:24:42,263 Josh Jamison. Jay-mo! 482 00:24:42,306 --> 00:24:44,004 From high school. I used to date Brandy. 483 00:24:44,047 --> 00:24:46,789 Oh, hey. 484 00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:48,225 Josh. Yeah! 485 00:24:48,269 --> 00:24:50,140 - Shot of tequila. - That"s more like it. 486 00:24:50,184 --> 00:24:51,794 I"ll join you. 487 00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:54,754 How long has it been? 488 00:24:54,797 --> 00:24:56,103 Long enough.Cheers. 489 00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:59,976 Old times. Old times. 490 00:25:02,152 --> 00:25:03,893 Whoo.Yeah. 491 00:25:03,937 --> 00:25:05,416 You home for the holidays? 492 00:25:06,766 --> 00:25:07,941 Yeah. 493 00:25:09,246 --> 00:25:11,292 And get this, uh, 494 00:25:11,335 --> 00:25:13,816 I"m actually gonna be spending it with Brandy. 495 00:25:13,860 --> 00:25:16,340 Get out, really? Yeah. 496 00:25:16,384 --> 00:25:18,691 She"s dating my father. 497 00:25:18,734 --> 00:25:20,344 Wha... 498 00:25:20,388 --> 00:25:21,868 Wait, like "dating" dating? 499 00:25:22,825 --> 00:25:25,001 - Like "dating" dating. - No! 500 00:25:25,045 --> 00:25:26,307 How sick is that? 501 00:25:26,873 --> 00:25:28,135 Wow. 502 00:25:29,223 --> 00:25:30,833 You would totally high-five him 503 00:25:30,877 --> 00:25:32,922 if he were here right now, wouldn"t you? 504 00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:35,577 If it felt right. Welp, I"m just gonna be 505 00:25:35,621 --> 00:25:39,320 trapped in my dad"s house like The Shining. 506 00:25:40,843 --> 00:25:43,585 I"m sorry, I do feel like that would be kind of weird for ya. 507 00:25:43,629 --> 00:25:45,761 - Right? Thank you. - But on the bright side, 508 00:25:45,805 --> 00:25:47,502 it"s only a couple of days, right? 509 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:48,895 You"ll get through it. 510 00:25:50,374 --> 00:25:52,725 I don"t know. Tomorrow night, 511 00:25:52,768 --> 00:25:54,920 we"re supposed to go out with my dad"s golfing buddies, 512 00:25:54,944 --> 00:25:56,511 which... is usually fun, 513 00:25:56,555 --> 00:25:59,383 -because they"re like my uncles. - Uh-huh. 514 00:25:59,427 --> 00:26:01,385 Now it"s just gonna suck. 515 00:26:02,909 --> 00:26:05,651 - I just have to stay focused. - Focused on what? 516 00:26:10,873 --> 00:26:12,832 Do you wanna join us tomorrow? 517 00:26:14,921 --> 00:26:16,618 Are you asking me on a date? 518 00:26:16,662 --> 00:26:18,751 Yeah, kinda. 519 00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:22,015 - Uh... - No, not really. 520 00:26:22,058 --> 00:26:23,930 But... 521 00:26:23,973 --> 00:26:25,932 if my dad"s gonna bring the ditzy party girl, 522 00:26:25,975 --> 00:26:28,369 then I might as well bring the meathead bartender 523 00:26:28,412 --> 00:26:30,240 and see how he likes it. 524 00:26:30,284 --> 00:26:31,285 Gotcha. 525 00:26:32,155 --> 00:26:34,201 Normally I do like being used 526 00:26:34,244 --> 00:26:36,638 as a pawn in a crazy chick"s revenge fantasy 527 00:26:36,682 --> 00:26:38,814 because that means mind-blowing sex. 528 00:26:38,858 --> 00:26:41,730 But in this case, I think I"m gonna pass. 529 00:26:41,774 --> 00:26:44,559 - Thank you, though. - Okay, wait, um, 530 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:47,214 -what if you come with me tomorrow? - Okay. 531 00:26:47,257 --> 00:26:50,043 And my dad and I throw our Christmas party here on Friday? 532 00:26:50,086 --> 00:26:52,393 Tons of tips. So you wanna buy me? 533 00:26:52,436 --> 00:26:55,831 - Like a whore. - The Pretty Womankind. 534 00:26:55,875 --> 00:26:58,094 There is no Pretty Womankind. 535 00:26:59,443 --> 00:27:00,619 Okay. 536 00:27:00,662 --> 00:27:02,359 Hear me out.Okay. 537 00:27:03,883 --> 00:27:06,799 I will guarantee you a $2,000 bar tab. 538 00:27:06,842 --> 00:27:08,670 - Everyone needs money, right? - Guarantee? 539 00:27:08,714 --> 00:27:10,716 - Yeah. - You hear this, Ant? 540 00:27:10,759 --> 00:27:13,501 - Sounds pretty good. - Mmm. 541 00:27:13,544 --> 00:27:15,764 I have been saving up for a new camera. 542 00:27:15,808 --> 00:27:17,374 For high-resolution dick pics? 543 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:19,899 Environmental portraiture. 544 00:27:21,552 --> 00:27:23,206 Hmm. That"s cute. 545 00:27:23,250 --> 00:27:25,034 That"s condescending. 546 00:27:27,950 --> 00:27:29,909 Okay, look. 547 00:27:29,952 --> 00:27:31,388 I wanna make a point to my dad. 548 00:27:31,432 --> 00:27:32,912 Uh-huh. And you want a new camera. 549 00:27:32,955 --> 00:27:36,263 It"s a simple transaction. Do we have a deal? 550 00:27:41,442 --> 00:27:42,878 Uh, no, don"t do that. 551 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:47,709 Eh, what the hell. 552 00:27:47,753 --> 00:27:49,929 Screw it, I"ll be your whore. 553 00:27:49,972 --> 00:27:51,950 Besides, I wouldn"t mind seeing how Brandy"s boobs have 554 00:27:51,974 --> 00:27:54,194 held up after all these years. 555 00:27:55,369 --> 00:27:57,676 Pig, I can"t believe I... You what? 556 00:28:00,330 --> 00:28:01,592 To be clear, Uh-huh? 557 00:28:01,636 --> 00:28:04,683 - I am not interested in you. - Mmm. 558 00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:09,252 "Cause it takes a lot more than karaoke-ing Kid Rock to get me in bed these days." 559 00:28:09,296 --> 00:28:12,908 Is that line pretty long? To get you in bed? 560 00:28:12,952 --> 00:28:14,431 I have a boyfriend. 561 00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:15,781 No, you don"t. 562 00:28:17,043 --> 00:28:19,132 Otherwise you wouldn"t be asking me to do this. 563 00:28:21,134 --> 00:28:22,526 Another shot? 564 00:28:23,789 --> 00:28:24,964 Yeah. 565 00:28:25,834 --> 00:28:27,401 Emma Lockhart. 566 00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:30,099 In the flesh. 567 00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:34,582 So, what are we doing here? 568 00:28:34,625 --> 00:28:36,845 I figured that we could use some alone time together, 569 00:28:36,889 --> 00:28:39,326 so I made us some appointments. 570 00:28:39,369 --> 00:28:41,154 What kind of appointments? 571 00:28:44,331 --> 00:28:46,376 I thought that we would get our makeup done 572 00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:47,769 for the country club tonight. 573 00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:49,771 Oh, really? 574 00:28:49,815 --> 00:28:51,904 Wow, that"s so nice of you. 575 00:28:51,947 --> 00:28:53,557 Yeah, I guess we do have a lot 576 00:28:53,601 --> 00:28:56,473 - to catch up on, too. - Hello, ladies! 577 00:28:56,517 --> 00:28:58,824 You here for your appointments? 578 00:28:58,867 --> 00:29:00,390 - How fun! - Whoa. 579 00:29:00,434 --> 00:29:01,827 Oh! Are you two sisters? 580 00:29:01,870 --> 00:29:04,568 - God no. - Why would you think that? 581 00:29:04,612 --> 00:29:06,701 Okay... 582 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,224 let"s get started. 583 00:29:08,268 --> 00:29:09,748 So perky. 584 00:29:10,879 --> 00:29:12,533 I"ll be right with you. 585 00:29:12,576 --> 00:29:14,578 Roberta! 586 00:29:17,059 --> 00:29:19,714 He is so sexy. 587 00:29:19,758 --> 00:29:21,977 I wanna do dirty things to him. 588 00:29:22,021 --> 00:29:24,284 - Me too! - Filthy. 589 00:29:24,327 --> 00:29:26,329 You know, I don"t understand, 590 00:29:26,373 --> 00:29:27,853 how can you wanna do filthy things 591 00:29:27,896 --> 00:29:29,768 with Ryan Gosling and my dad? 592 00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:31,987 Oh, they"re both sexy in different ways. 593 00:29:33,859 --> 00:29:35,817 Are you screwing my dad for his money? 594 00:29:37,340 --> 00:29:39,081 You know, my dad invented the key fob, 595 00:29:39,125 --> 00:29:40,648 so I have a trust fund, 596 00:29:40,691 --> 00:29:42,476 not that I"ve ever taken a single cent of it, 597 00:29:42,519 --> 00:29:45,958 because I"ve always taken care of myself, so no, wrong. 598 00:29:46,001 --> 00:29:48,395 Okay, so... 599 00:29:48,438 --> 00:29:50,832 your dad set up a trust fund because he felt guilty 600 00:29:50,876 --> 00:29:53,182 about breaking up your family so now you"re looking 601 00:29:53,226 --> 00:29:55,315 for a new daddy? 602 00:29:55,358 --> 00:29:57,056 You"re saying that I have daddy issues? 603 00:29:57,099 --> 00:30:00,624 Wow, isn"t that the skunk calling the rose stinky? 604 00:30:00,668 --> 00:30:02,061 It means your shit stinks. 605 00:30:02,104 --> 00:30:03,802 Your shit stinks. I don"t shit. 606 00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:08,502 Look, I spent most of my 20s dating 607 00:30:08,545 --> 00:30:11,766 self-centered man-children who cheated on me. 608 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,637 Your dad is honest. 609 00:30:13,681 --> 00:30:16,162 Strong. He"s sweet and funny. 610 00:30:16,205 --> 00:30:19,165 Funny? You know, I"ll give you the rest, 611 00:30:19,208 --> 00:30:21,080 but the last thing my dad is is funny. 612 00:30:21,123 --> 00:30:23,275 Well, maybe you don"t know him as well as you think you do. 613 00:30:23,299 --> 00:30:26,694 I know him better than he knows himself. You know nothing. 614 00:30:29,218 --> 00:30:31,003 Do you have some fetish for old guys? 615 00:30:31,046 --> 00:30:33,048 Like a chubby chaser kind of thing? 616 00:30:33,092 --> 00:30:34,223 You wanna hop on pop? 617 00:30:37,748 --> 00:30:41,056 Your father is a spectacular lover. 618 00:30:42,101 --> 00:30:43,842 Would you like me to go on? 619 00:30:45,931 --> 00:30:46,932 No. 620 00:30:47,497 --> 00:30:48,629 Okay. 621 00:30:48,672 --> 00:30:49,848 Good talk. 622 00:30:52,546 --> 00:30:54,287 - Holy shit... - This half of the face... 623 00:30:54,330 --> 00:30:55,897 It"ll be done, trust me. 624 00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:58,508 - Okay. - I just wanted to give you a little glimpse! 625 00:31:01,468 --> 00:31:03,426 ♪ Pow pow pow Back for me, boy ♪ 626 00:31:03,470 --> 00:31:06,125 ♪ I"m tryna tryna tryna tryna Pop for ya, boy, listen ♪ 627 00:31:06,168 --> 00:31:08,170 ♪ Let me let me look Back at ya, boy, yeah ♪ 628 00:31:08,214 --> 00:31:10,781 ♪ Pop for the boy, yeah You the one, boy, listen ♪ 629 00:31:10,825 --> 00:31:12,871 ♪ Pow pow pow Back for me, boy ♪ 630 00:31:12,914 --> 00:31:15,525 ♪ I"m tryna tryna tryna tryna Pop for ya, boy, yeah ♪ 631 00:31:15,569 --> 00:31:17,658 ♪ Let me let me look Back at ya, boy, yeah ♪ 632 00:31:17,701 --> 00:31:19,703 ♪ Pop for the boy, yeah You the one, boy, listen ♪ 633 00:31:19,747 --> 00:31:22,271 ♪ Get what I want Get what I want, boy, listen ♪ 634 00:31:22,315 --> 00:31:24,665 ♪ Get what I want Get what I want, get it get it ♪ 635 00:31:24,708 --> 00:31:26,928 ♪ Get what I want Get what I want, boy, yeah ♪ 636 00:31:26,972 --> 00:31:29,191 ♪ Get what I want Get what I want, get it get it ♪ 637 00:31:29,235 --> 00:31:31,933 We look like a Russian kingpin and his high-class hookers. 638 00:31:31,977 --> 00:31:33,848 Good evening, sir. 639 00:31:33,892 --> 00:31:35,458 Cool T-shirt. 640 00:31:35,502 --> 00:31:37,330 It"s nice to see you and your 641 00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:40,333 daugh... Nie... Sister? 642 00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:41,900 - I"m his daughter. - Right. 643 00:31:41,943 --> 00:31:44,511 - She"s boning him. - Language, monkey. 644 00:31:44,554 --> 00:31:46,382 Let"s hope she doesn't get it on 645 00:31:46,426 --> 00:31:49,124 - in the bathroom. - Let"s. 646 00:31:49,168 --> 00:31:50,909 Let"s meet the mayor first. 647 00:31:53,259 --> 00:31:55,130 Mr. Hackett. Mr. Murphy. 648 00:31:55,174 --> 00:31:56,740 - Hi. - Oh, look at you. 649 00:31:56,784 --> 00:31:58,133 All grown up. 650 00:31:58,177 --> 00:31:59,830 There"s my girl. How are ya? 651 00:31:59,874 --> 00:32:01,571 Good. Mr. Portnoy. 652 00:32:01,615 --> 00:32:03,965 Oh, you look wonderful. 653 00:32:04,009 --> 00:32:06,359 I hear you"re doing great things at the company. 654 00:32:06,402 --> 00:32:07,969 Oh, thank you, yeah, Dad and I... 655 00:32:08,013 --> 00:32:10,102 Tom. Hey, Elliott. 656 00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:12,887 It"s been an interesting couple of days. 657 00:32:12,931 --> 00:32:15,368 - Hello, gorgeous. - Looking good, Brandy. 658 00:32:15,411 --> 00:32:18,371 Jack, how did you manage to land a girl like Brandy? 659 00:32:18,414 --> 00:32:21,330 - And how can I steal her away from you? 660 00:32:21,374 --> 00:32:23,071 I sure am grateful, every day. 661 00:32:23,115 --> 00:32:26,205 Aw, it"s easy. Jack is a great person. 662 00:32:26,248 --> 00:32:30,209 - Cares about his family and his friends. - Mmm. 663 00:32:30,252 --> 00:32:33,038 Hey, I"m here to see Emma Lockhart. 664 00:32:33,081 --> 00:32:34,996 Oh, that"s a bit of a buzzkill, 665 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,303 but she"s right over there. 666 00:32:37,346 --> 00:32:39,696 Let me know if you need anything else. 667 00:32:47,095 --> 00:32:48,140 Hey. 668 00:32:50,055 --> 00:32:51,621 You look like you 669 00:32:51,665 --> 00:32:53,623 came from a John Wickconvention. 670 00:32:53,667 --> 00:32:55,886 - Thank you. - Um, I can"t believe I"m saying this, 671 00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:57,473 but I am so glad that you"re here right now. 672 00:32:57,497 --> 00:32:59,803 - You did bribe me to come. - "To-may-to," "to-mah-to." 673 00:32:59,847 --> 00:33:01,805 Okay, so here"s the deal. 674 00:33:01,849 --> 00:33:04,460 Apparently, Brandy has every guy in a ten-mile radius 675 00:33:04,504 --> 00:33:06,897 under some sort of T&A mind control, 676 00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:10,379 including my dad, but you"re here now, and you"re my Brandy, 677 00:33:10,423 --> 00:33:13,121 so we just have to give him a taste of his own medicine. 678 00:33:13,165 --> 00:33:15,143 And you didn"t have to dress up so nice, but it"s okay, 679 00:33:15,167 --> 00:33:16,559 he"s gonna hate you anyway. 680 00:33:16,603 --> 00:33:18,344 I wouldn"t count on him hating me. 681 00:33:18,387 --> 00:33:19,606 So here"s the plan. 682 00:33:19,649 --> 00:33:21,521 My dad is very goal-oriented. 683 00:33:21,564 --> 00:33:24,045 He"s big on achievement, and, you know, 684 00:33:24,089 --> 00:33:25,675 you have a dead-end job and no prospects, 685 00:33:25,699 --> 00:33:27,570 and you used to drive a foreign car, so... 686 00:33:27,614 --> 00:33:30,051 Do you normally get what you want out of people? 687 00:33:30,095 --> 00:33:31,705 No, but it"s wartime, so, 688 00:33:31,748 --> 00:33:33,750 you know, people do crazy things. Hey, Dad? 689 00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:35,448 - Oh? - You remember Josh Jamison, right? 690 00:33:35,491 --> 00:33:37,078 The D-student who used to block your driveway 691 00:33:37,102 --> 00:33:38,494 - with his Toyota? - That"s me. 692 00:33:38,538 --> 00:33:40,018 I think so. Hey, Josh. 693 00:33:40,061 --> 00:33:42,498 - Hey. - Well, anyway, 694 00:33:42,542 --> 00:33:44,065 Josh and I reconnected the other night, 695 00:33:44,109 --> 00:33:46,633 and, I don"t know, sparks flew. 696 00:33:46,676 --> 00:33:49,375 Honey. Josh works as a bartender now. 697 00:33:49,418 --> 00:33:51,986 Oh. Do you garnish your Manhattans 698 00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:53,466 with maraschino cherries? 699 00:33:53,509 --> 00:33:56,382 Not unless that"s a euphemism for a sex act. 700 00:33:56,425 --> 00:33:59,080 Oh! Good man. 701 00:33:59,124 --> 00:34:01,909 - What can I get ya? - Bourbon, straight-up. 702 00:34:01,952 --> 00:34:03,780 - Bourbon, straight-up. - Yeah. 703 00:34:03,824 --> 00:34:06,522 What the hell? I mean, we"re like two silverback gorillas. 704 00:34:06,566 --> 00:34:08,959 We recognize each other in nature. 705 00:34:09,003 --> 00:34:10,570 Mmm, Josh. 706 00:34:10,613 --> 00:34:13,355 So, Josh and I were thinking about taking a road trip. 707 00:34:13,399 --> 00:34:14,748 You know, meander around, 708 00:34:14,791 --> 00:34:16,880 find ourselves, pierce some stuff. 709 00:34:16,924 --> 00:34:18,795 - I don"t know, go to Coachella. - Mmm. 710 00:34:18,839 --> 00:34:20,145 You should. 711 00:34:20,188 --> 00:34:21,470 You know, I never did enough traveling 712 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:23,322 when I was young like Josh. 713 00:34:23,365 --> 00:34:25,150 Emma here, she works too hard. 714 00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:26,934 - Mmm. - Probably got that from me, 715 00:34:26,977 --> 00:34:29,850 but Brandy"s been really helping me relax lately. 716 00:34:29,893 --> 00:34:31,808 It"s made me so much happier. 717 00:34:31,852 --> 00:34:34,637 Who knew that I"d still be finding myself at this age 718 00:34:34,681 --> 00:34:36,726 and that I"m still finding life so surprising... 719 00:34:36,770 --> 00:34:38,554 Oh, there"s Brandy! Hi, Brandy! 720 00:34:38,598 --> 00:34:41,035 Oh, your dad"s great. 721 00:34:42,210 --> 00:34:45,822 She"s lulled him into some kind of poontang fog. 722 00:34:45,866 --> 00:34:47,346 Fog of whore. 723 00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:50,131 I don"t know, some bartender. 724 00:34:55,876 --> 00:34:57,443 Are you ready for round two? 725 00:34:57,486 --> 00:34:59,140 I was born ready. 726 00:34:59,184 --> 00:35:01,751 - Oh, shut up. - Wow, really? 727 00:35:01,795 --> 00:35:03,057 - Oh. - Huh! 728 00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,015 Josh Jamison. 729 00:35:05,059 --> 00:35:06,756 - Brandy Barnes. - Come here. 730 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,889 - Hi, babe. - How"re you doing, baby? 731 00:35:08,932 --> 00:35:10,325 You"re really wearing that suit. 732 00:35:10,369 --> 00:35:11,892 Oh, and you in that dress. 733 00:35:11,935 --> 00:35:15,156 Remind me again, why on Earth did we break up? 734 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,680 I obviously made a huge mistake. 735 00:35:17,724 --> 00:35:20,074 Oh, yeah, you definitely did. 736 00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:22,859 - Ooh, someone"s been working out. - Stop. 737 00:35:22,903 --> 00:35:25,166 Hey, so are you still doing the whole photography thing? 738 00:35:25,210 --> 00:35:27,342 - I am. - Wow, well, do you ever shoot bands? 739 00:35:27,386 --> 00:35:29,475 Because, um, I"m putting together 740 00:35:29,518 --> 00:35:32,193 a little New Year"s Eve concert and we could really use a photographer. 741 00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:33,609 That"d be great, yeah. 742 00:35:33,653 --> 00:35:35,283 I could definitely do that. I"ll text you. 743 00:35:35,307 --> 00:35:36,786 I"ll text you. 744 00:35:36,830 --> 00:35:38,005 - Great. - Great. 745 00:35:38,048 --> 00:35:39,920 - Great. - Great. Hey, guys. 746 00:35:39,963 --> 00:35:41,443 Oh, babe, you met Josh, Emma"s date. 747 00:35:41,487 --> 00:35:43,053 Oh, Dad, she knows. 748 00:35:43,097 --> 00:35:46,622 Actually, Josh is one of Brandy"s ex-boyfriends. 749 00:35:46,666 --> 00:35:48,015 - Yes, that"s right. - Yeah, yeah. 750 00:35:48,058 --> 00:35:49,843 You"re the man from her past 751 00:35:49,886 --> 00:35:51,888 that I"ve got to live up to? The one who got away? 752 00:35:51,932 --> 00:35:54,369 Oh, God, no. 753 00:35:54,413 --> 00:35:56,371 No, no, no, no, we were kids. 754 00:35:56,415 --> 00:35:59,331 He was a boy. And you"re my man. 755 00:35:59,374 --> 00:36:00,984 I"m a man, too, believe me. 756 00:36:01,028 --> 00:36:04,031 But you gotta admit, this is kind of weird, right? 757 00:36:04,074 --> 00:36:07,208 I mean, Josh is my date. I"m your daughter. 758 00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:10,037 You"re her boyfriend, and she"s Josh's ex. 759 00:36:11,256 --> 00:36:13,475 Kind of funny. 760 00:36:13,519 --> 00:36:15,173 Right? 761 00:36:16,783 --> 00:36:18,393 - Dance with me! - Oh, sure. 762 00:36:18,437 --> 00:36:19,892 I made it a rule. Never say no to her. 763 00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,372 - You know why, Josh. - Of course not. 764 00:36:21,396 --> 00:36:23,268 - Smart man. - Yep. 765 00:36:23,311 --> 00:36:25,400 Wow. 766 00:36:25,444 --> 00:36:27,228 We"re dancing. 767 00:36:27,272 --> 00:36:29,317 Okay, I guess we"re doing this now. 768 00:36:35,541 --> 00:36:38,631 Hey, I hope you know, I really am trying. 769 00:36:38,674 --> 00:36:41,068 Oh, I know. I really appreciate it. 770 00:36:41,111 --> 00:36:43,375 I think she just needs a little time. 771 00:36:43,418 --> 00:36:45,290 Yeah. Come here. 772 00:36:51,383 --> 00:36:53,472 Ow! Okay. 773 00:36:53,515 --> 00:36:55,256 What are we doing here? 774 00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:57,539 I"m just trying to make the show a little more convincing. 775 00:36:57,563 --> 00:37:00,870 Very nice. 776 00:37:00,914 --> 00:37:03,482 Some participation from you would help. 777 00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:06,224 I thought my part"s just letting you fondle me. 778 00:37:06,876 --> 00:37:08,095 I got it. 779 00:37:09,444 --> 00:37:11,577 That"s nice, yes. 780 00:37:11,620 --> 00:37:12,969 There, you got it. 781 00:37:17,713 --> 00:37:19,933 Oh, my God, they"re looking. I"m trying to make a point. 782 00:37:19,976 --> 00:37:22,675 Would you just help me out here? Yes, yes. 783 00:37:28,158 --> 00:37:30,378 Oh, my God, kill me. 784 00:37:30,422 --> 00:37:32,772 Let"s just give 'em a second. 785 00:37:32,815 --> 00:37:34,426 - Probably the wrong move. - Yep. 786 00:37:34,469 --> 00:37:36,689 - Okay, I"m sorry. Um, that was bad. - Yep. 787 00:38:04,194 --> 00:38:06,153 I"m sorry, I"m sorry, hold on. 788 00:38:06,196 --> 00:38:07,807 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 789 00:38:09,374 --> 00:38:12,377 Let me guess, the sabotage isn"t going according to plan. 790 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:14,857 That"s an understatement. 791 00:38:14,901 --> 00:38:18,513 No, no matter how hard I try to undermine Brandy and Dad, 792 00:38:18,557 --> 00:38:21,037 they somehow rise above it. 793 00:38:21,081 --> 00:38:24,389 I even brought Brandy"s ex-boyfriend to dinner, and he"s so... 794 00:38:24,432 --> 00:38:27,130 - Back up, you did what? - Never mind. 795 00:38:27,174 --> 00:38:31,352 You know, I may have lost the battle tonight, but tomorrow is a new day. 796 00:38:31,396 --> 00:38:33,876 And it will be filled with family traditions 797 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,575 that will remind Brandy that Dad and I are a unit. 798 00:38:36,618 --> 00:38:38,664 She"s the third wheel. 799 00:38:38,707 --> 00:38:42,798 Okay, so you"re gonna use your childhood memories for evil? 800 00:38:42,842 --> 00:38:44,757 No. She can"t just show up on Christmas 801 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,367 and wave her magic tits around 802 00:38:46,411 --> 00:38:48,369 and think she"s instantly part of this family. 803 00:38:48,413 --> 00:38:50,066 I"ve earned my spot. 804 00:38:50,110 --> 00:38:52,591 Well, you were sort of born into it. 805 00:38:52,634 --> 00:38:55,028 You should"ve seen her, Charlyne. 806 00:38:55,071 --> 00:38:58,901 Cooking dinner in my childhood home like she"s my mother. 807 00:38:58,945 --> 00:39:00,816 And then trying to be my friend. 808 00:39:00,860 --> 00:39:03,036 And then flirting with my date 809 00:39:03,079 --> 00:39:05,168 in my face. 810 00:39:05,212 --> 00:39:07,997 I"m sorry, what is it that you"re mad about right now? 811 00:39:08,781 --> 00:39:10,260 All of it. 812 00:39:13,263 --> 00:39:15,309 Will you come over Christmas Day? 813 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,355 I don"t know if I can handle it alone. 814 00:39:17,398 --> 00:39:19,313 No... I don"t do well with family drama. 815 00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:21,335 That"s why I'm not spending the holidays with mine. 816 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:24,492 I can never pick a side. Drunks versus racists. 817 00:39:25,798 --> 00:39:27,582 I know it"s a lot to ask. 818 00:39:28,496 --> 00:39:29,758 But I guess I"m asking. 819 00:39:31,325 --> 00:39:33,414 If it"ll help put an end to this whole thing 820 00:39:33,458 --> 00:39:35,677 and end this phone call, I will do it. 821 00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:39,289 It will, I promise. I love you. 822 00:39:39,333 --> 00:39:41,814 Okay, love you, bye. I"m so sorry. 823 00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:55,218 Who wore them better? 824 00:39:55,262 --> 00:39:57,960 Yeah, well, clearly I did. 825 00:39:58,004 --> 00:40:00,093 If I don"t look good, you don"t look good. 826 00:40:03,836 --> 00:40:06,012 Oh, what"s all this? 827 00:40:06,055 --> 00:40:08,536 Just your standard uniform for cookie baking 828 00:40:08,580 --> 00:40:10,320 - and tree decorating day. - Oh. 829 00:40:10,364 --> 00:40:12,627 - Mmm. - I didn"t get the memo. 830 00:40:12,671 --> 00:40:14,629 This tastes just like your mom"s. 831 00:40:14,673 --> 00:40:16,414 They"re not as good as hers, but... 832 00:40:17,850 --> 00:40:21,244 Wow, cookies for breakfast. 833 00:40:21,288 --> 00:40:24,509 Thank you. Usually I"d be getting the spins around this time of day. 834 00:40:24,552 --> 00:40:25,901 Coffee.Mmm-hmm. 835 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,209 Oh, there are mugs too? That"s cute. 836 00:40:31,037 --> 00:40:32,473 Sorry, only two. 837 00:40:35,476 --> 00:40:36,564 Here you go. 838 00:40:40,873 --> 00:40:43,441 Mmm, let"s decorate that tree. 839 00:40:44,833 --> 00:40:46,182 Perfect. 840 00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:03,025 Oh, we can"t forget these ones. 841 00:41:04,287 --> 00:41:05,375 Oh... 842 00:41:05,419 --> 00:41:07,377 How adorable is this? 843 00:41:07,421 --> 00:41:10,250 That"s one of my favorites. 844 00:41:10,293 --> 00:41:12,533 Aw, I don"t remember making anything like that growing up, 845 00:41:12,557 --> 00:41:16,299 but I guess we were more of a tinsel family. 846 00:41:16,343 --> 00:41:18,954 Don"t worry. I got us an ornament too. 847 00:41:18,998 --> 00:41:20,521 Here, look. 848 00:41:20,565 --> 00:41:21,827 Thank you. 849 00:41:21,870 --> 00:41:22,958 - You like it? - Yes! 850 00:41:23,002 --> 00:41:24,612 Nice, right? 851 00:41:24,656 --> 00:41:26,571 Here. Here. Come on, let"s hang it up. 852 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:29,095 - Near the top. - Okay, okay, give me a boost. 853 00:41:31,445 --> 00:41:33,316 - Perfect. - I love it. 854 00:41:33,360 --> 00:41:34,579 Thank you, babe. 855 00:41:34,622 --> 00:41:36,189 - Look at that. - It"s beautiful. 856 00:41:38,974 --> 00:41:40,846 All right, it"s photo album time. 857 00:41:44,763 --> 00:41:47,635 So cute. Wait, wait. 858 00:41:50,595 --> 00:41:51,987 Oh... 859 00:41:55,077 --> 00:41:57,123 - Remember that? - Yeah. 860 00:41:58,820 --> 00:42:00,343 Oh. 861 00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:01,649 You have to give us credit. 862 00:42:01,693 --> 00:42:03,129 We really landed our single axel. 863 00:42:03,172 --> 00:42:05,740 Yeah, but then you totally wiped out 864 00:42:05,784 --> 00:42:07,916 in spectacular fashion. 865 00:42:10,484 --> 00:42:12,573 I really love that lake house. 866 00:42:12,617 --> 00:42:14,009 Such great memories there. 867 00:42:14,053 --> 00:42:15,794 Yeah. 868 00:42:17,709 --> 00:42:20,581 Oh, I"m sorry, maybe this isn"t the best time. 869 00:42:20,625 --> 00:42:22,104 Oh, no, no, no, I love it. 870 00:42:22,148 --> 00:42:24,890 I... I wanna know about your family traditions 871 00:42:24,933 --> 00:42:26,456 because it"s part of you. 872 00:42:26,500 --> 00:42:28,720 I don"t know. 873 00:42:45,084 --> 00:42:46,912 How great is she, huh? 874 00:42:48,566 --> 00:42:50,089 So great. 875 00:42:52,221 --> 00:42:54,484 We should get ready for the party. 876 00:43:03,450 --> 00:43:05,234 Your mom was pretty. 877 00:43:07,497 --> 00:43:08,673 She was. 878 00:43:09,587 --> 00:43:11,153 She was also a lot more than that. 879 00:43:11,197 --> 00:43:13,329 I know. 880 00:43:15,157 --> 00:43:17,638 Sorry, but you didn"t really know my mom. 881 00:43:20,206 --> 00:43:23,992 You know, the year before my parents got divorced, 882 00:43:24,036 --> 00:43:26,038 it would get pretty ugly in our house. 883 00:43:27,474 --> 00:43:30,129 So sometimes I would just leave and... 884 00:43:30,172 --> 00:43:34,263 walk anywhere for as long as I could. 885 00:43:36,135 --> 00:43:38,006 And then one day, your mom drove by, 886 00:43:38,050 --> 00:43:39,617 and she picked me up. 887 00:43:40,705 --> 00:43:43,142 We went and had coffee, and we talked. 888 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,145 And we probably did that 889 00:43:46,188 --> 00:43:47,929 five or six times. 890 00:43:49,931 --> 00:43:51,324 She never said anything. 891 00:43:51,367 --> 00:43:53,718 She probably knew it would embarrass me. 892 00:43:53,761 --> 00:43:55,850 It was kind of our little secret. 893 00:43:57,417 --> 00:43:59,549 But she really saved me back then. 894 00:44:01,943 --> 00:44:04,119 That"s the kind of person that she was. 895 00:44:08,123 --> 00:44:10,691 Oh, I"ve been meaning to show you this. 896 00:44:10,735 --> 00:44:12,998 I found it in my old room. 897 00:44:13,041 --> 00:44:14,782 Look at that. 898 00:44:14,826 --> 00:44:17,742 Were we actually friends for a minute back then? 899 00:44:17,785 --> 00:44:19,439 Yeah, I think so. 900 00:44:28,535 --> 00:44:30,493 So... 901 00:44:30,537 --> 00:44:32,713 uh, the party tonight, 902 00:44:32,757 --> 00:44:35,847 it"s gonna be an interesting mix of people. 903 00:44:35,890 --> 00:44:37,370 What does that mean? 904 00:44:37,413 --> 00:44:38,937 My friends and coworkers, 905 00:44:38,980 --> 00:44:40,808 Dad"s friends and coworkers 906 00:44:40,852 --> 00:44:42,549 and some of your old buddies 907 00:44:42,592 --> 00:44:44,899 that Dad probably hasn"t met yet. 908 00:44:46,422 --> 00:44:48,729 Blaze, Stretch, No-Neck, 909 00:44:48,773 --> 00:44:51,340 the old gang from detention. 910 00:44:55,083 --> 00:44:56,476 Well played. 911 00:45:14,102 --> 00:45:16,583 Why does it feel like an eighth grade dance in here? 912 00:45:16,626 --> 00:45:18,280 Oh, that"s because our friends 913 00:45:18,324 --> 00:45:20,369 and Brandy"s friends have nothing in common, 914 00:45:20,413 --> 00:45:22,850 which hopefully Dad is finding that out right now. 915 00:45:22,894 --> 00:45:24,809 Which one"s No-Neck? 916 00:45:24,852 --> 00:45:26,245 The one with no neck. 917 00:45:27,594 --> 00:45:29,291 We are definitely 918 00:45:29,335 --> 00:45:30,945 the coolest ones here. 919 00:45:30,989 --> 00:45:32,904 For sure.Mmm. 920 00:45:32,947 --> 00:45:34,732 Why does it feel like a morgue in here? 921 00:45:34,775 --> 00:45:35,863 Oh, it"s by design. 922 00:45:37,778 --> 00:45:39,519 Josh, this is Charlyne. 923 00:45:39,562 --> 00:45:40,955 Yeah, that tracks. 924 00:45:41,956 --> 00:45:43,523 And this is Beatrice. 925 00:45:43,566 --> 00:45:46,569 - Hey there, honey. - How"s it going, Beatrice? 926 00:45:46,613 --> 00:45:48,310 Dude, she got game. 927 00:45:48,354 --> 00:45:50,878 Yeah, she does. 928 00:45:52,662 --> 00:45:56,144 - Hey. - So, what did you think of Brandy"s old gang? 929 00:45:57,363 --> 00:45:59,452 - Interesting folks. - They are. 930 00:45:59,495 --> 00:46:01,367 But I was just saying, we need to do something 931 00:46:01,410 --> 00:46:03,325 to liven up this party. 932 00:46:04,109 --> 00:46:06,459 I know one sure thing 933 00:46:06,502 --> 00:46:08,504 that works every time. 934 00:46:08,548 --> 00:46:11,769 Oh, yeah. Beer-lympics. 935 00:46:11,812 --> 00:46:15,207 Beer-lympics! 936 00:46:16,686 --> 00:46:18,688 - Get the shots. - It"s tradition. 937 00:46:19,472 --> 00:46:20,778 Salud. 938 00:46:25,130 --> 00:46:27,282 Put it on your head. This isn"t really my kind of night. 939 00:46:27,306 --> 00:46:29,830 - Put it on your head. - This is great. 940 00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:32,615 All right, who"s next? 941 00:46:37,316 --> 00:46:38,839 Go! Go! Go! 942 00:46:38,883 --> 00:46:43,017 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 943 00:46:46,151 --> 00:46:48,849 Does he really have to take his shirt off to do that? 944 00:46:51,069 --> 00:46:53,245 Does she even own pants? 945 00:46:56,857 --> 00:46:58,772 Hold my beer. 946 00:46:58,816 --> 00:47:00,339 Dad... Dad? 947 00:47:03,821 --> 00:47:06,214 Shit. 948 00:47:17,269 --> 00:47:19,184 Okay. 949 00:47:19,227 --> 00:47:20,794 Here we go! 950 00:47:22,274 --> 00:47:25,190 Dad? Dad, you don"t need to take that... Oh! 951 00:47:27,453 --> 00:47:28,976 Yeah! 952 00:47:38,986 --> 00:47:41,336 - What"s going on? - Arm wrestling. 953 00:47:41,380 --> 00:47:43,338 - I"m taking bets. - Whah! 954 00:47:43,382 --> 00:47:44,818 - You too, Bea? - Yeah! 955 00:47:47,429 --> 00:47:49,431 I am taking bets! 956 00:47:49,475 --> 00:47:51,564 Taking bets! Give me that money. 957 00:47:51,607 --> 00:47:54,436 Okay, thank you. All right. 958 00:47:58,963 --> 00:48:03,097 Oh, shit! Sucks for all of you. 959 00:48:03,141 --> 00:48:07,188 Four over here, thank you! 960 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:13,586 Money? Yes. Yes! 961 00:48:13,629 --> 00:48:15,893 - Good luck. - Thanks. 962 00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:17,242 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dad, 963 00:48:17,285 --> 00:48:19,374 you don"t need to... Please don"t. 964 00:48:19,418 --> 00:48:21,724 - No, no, no, I got this. - Come on. 965 00:48:21,768 --> 00:48:25,598 Okay, okay. 966 00:48:25,641 --> 00:48:28,949 Go easy on him, he"s got a bad back. You got this, baby. 967 00:48:28,993 --> 00:48:30,603 Come on, Jack! 968 00:48:30,646 --> 00:48:32,300 Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack... 969 00:48:38,132 --> 00:48:40,613 Aah! 970 00:48:40,656 --> 00:48:42,006 Gotcha! 971 00:48:43,616 --> 00:48:45,313 Baby! Yeah! 972 00:48:45,357 --> 00:48:47,533 Told you you had a hot dad, whoo! 973 00:49:00,415 --> 00:49:03,114 - Dad, no. - You ready, Gramps? 974 00:49:03,157 --> 00:49:06,073 Dad, should you really be doing a keg roll with your back? 975 00:49:06,117 --> 00:49:08,075 Maybe you should sit this one out. 976 00:49:08,119 --> 00:49:09,337 No way. 977 00:49:09,381 --> 00:49:10,860 We each have a medal. 978 00:49:10,904 --> 00:49:13,602 Tiebreaker. 979 00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:16,431 Do you really feel good about beating a man 25 years older than you 980 00:49:16,475 --> 00:49:19,739 in a physical challenge? Just be the bigger person. 981 00:49:19,782 --> 00:49:21,282 You"re telling me to be the bigger person? 982 00:49:21,306 --> 00:49:24,048 You"re not competing against him for anything. 983 00:49:24,091 --> 00:49:26,050 Unless... you are... 984 00:49:26,093 --> 00:49:28,356 fighting with him for Brandy or something. 985 00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:32,099 Of course not. But what if I was? 986 00:49:32,143 --> 00:49:34,014 That"d only be helping you, right? 987 00:49:42,066 --> 00:49:44,198 Oh, Dad! Oh! 988 00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:46,157 - Oh, my God! - Dad, are you okay? 989 00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,200 Oh, I"ve got him, I've got him. He has to lay flat. 990 00:49:50,596 --> 00:49:53,077 Ah, yeah, I"m fine. 991 00:49:53,120 --> 00:49:54,687 I"m fine, I'm fine. 992 00:49:54,730 --> 00:49:57,342 Ugh, fine. I just... oh! 993 00:49:57,385 --> 00:49:59,170 - Sorry, dude. - I just need to pop it back. 994 00:49:59,213 --> 00:50:01,259 No, I got you. Turn around. 995 00:50:01,302 --> 00:50:03,478 I... This doesn"t seem like a good idea. 996 00:50:03,522 --> 00:50:05,437 It"s deep in there? All right. Here we go. 997 00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:06,786 - Yeah, okay, yeah. - Ready? 998 00:50:06,829 --> 00:50:08,309 Oh, my God! 999 00:50:08,353 --> 00:50:09,983 - One more, maybe faster. - One more, one more. 1000 00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:11,375 - One more. - Yeah. A little faster. 1001 00:50:11,399 --> 00:50:12,792 - Oh, God! - That"s not getting it. 1002 00:50:12,835 --> 00:50:14,315 - Get him. - Maybe do me from behind. 1003 00:50:14,359 --> 00:50:15,664 - Behind? All right. - Yeah. 1004 00:50:15,708 --> 00:50:17,207 - It"s deep in there. - Yeah, yeah, no. 1005 00:50:17,231 --> 00:50:19,712 - I can barely get it. - Okay, this is not... 1006 00:50:19,755 --> 00:50:21,931 - Oh, God. - Oh, God. 1007 00:50:21,975 --> 00:50:24,108 Oh, wow! 1008 00:50:24,151 --> 00:50:25,848 Ah, I feel so satisfied. 1009 00:50:25,892 --> 00:50:27,502 This is for you, champ. 1010 00:50:28,460 --> 00:50:29,722 Later. 1011 00:50:29,765 --> 00:50:31,767 Later, man. 1012 00:50:31,811 --> 00:50:33,378 Baby, maybe we should get you home. 1013 00:50:33,421 --> 00:50:34,857 Yeah, maybe I"ll call a car. 1014 00:50:34,901 --> 00:50:36,357 - Dad, I"ll take you. - No, we"re hosting 1015 00:50:36,381 --> 00:50:37,991 this party, we can"t all leave. 1016 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:39,862 You guys stay. I"ll go home. 1017 00:50:39,906 --> 00:50:41,951 You stay and have fun. That"s an order. 1018 00:50:44,824 --> 00:50:47,696 I"m so proud of you, babe. 1019 00:50:49,133 --> 00:50:50,613 That"s a legend right there, everyone. 1020 00:50:51,961 --> 00:50:54,051 Okay. Who wants to do shots? 1021 00:51:01,623 --> 00:51:03,364 How am I ever supposed to trust her? 1022 00:51:03,408 --> 00:51:05,192 That she"s not gonna hurt my dad? 1023 00:51:05,236 --> 00:51:07,716 You trust him. And he"s a grown-ass man 1024 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,718 who can make his own decisions. 1025 00:51:09,762 --> 00:51:11,111 I do trust him. 1026 00:51:11,155 --> 00:51:12,895 All right, then let it go. 1027 00:51:12,939 --> 00:51:15,724 Maybe worry about your own life some more. 1028 00:51:16,682 --> 00:51:17,900 Hey. 1029 00:51:20,381 --> 00:51:21,426 Hey. 1030 00:51:22,862 --> 00:51:25,691 Emma... hello? 1031 00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:30,087 Maybe part of your problem is you don"t even realize 1032 00:51:30,130 --> 00:51:32,132 when a hot guy is trying to get your attention. 1033 00:51:38,182 --> 00:51:40,140 Look, I know we didn"t really, um, 1034 00:51:40,184 --> 00:51:42,229 know each other back then, but... 1035 00:51:42,795 --> 00:51:43,926 I... 1036 00:51:46,015 --> 00:51:47,365 I used to have a crush on you 1037 00:51:47,408 --> 00:51:50,455 back when you and Brandy were together. 1038 00:51:50,498 --> 00:51:52,152 Rea... No! 1039 00:51:52,196 --> 00:51:54,285 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. 1040 00:51:54,328 --> 00:51:56,722 Oh, I"m sorry, I... I literally had no idea. 1041 00:51:56,765 --> 00:51:59,855 It"s fine. You know, I managed to survive without you. 1042 00:51:59,899 --> 00:52:02,075 - Yeah. - I lost my virginity to Peter Grumbauer. 1043 00:52:02,119 --> 00:52:05,557 - Sorry about that. - No, it was great actually. 1044 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,821 Yeah, he read a lot of books about female anatomy. 1045 00:52:08,864 --> 00:52:11,389 There you go. You were probably better off. 1046 00:52:11,432 --> 00:52:13,434 My moves at the time were quite basic. 1047 00:52:13,478 --> 00:52:16,307 - You know, three pumps and done? - Gross. 1048 00:52:16,350 --> 00:52:19,223 I"ve gotten better since then, though... at sex. 1049 00:52:19,266 --> 00:52:21,094 But not talking. 1050 00:52:24,271 --> 00:52:27,100 You know, it"s not that I didn"t ever notice you. 1051 00:52:28,493 --> 00:52:31,409 I"d see you reading or whatever, and... 1052 00:52:32,714 --> 00:52:36,196 Ugh, I don"t know, this is gonna sound corny, 1053 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:40,809 but... you had a certain beauty in your solitude. 1054 00:52:45,727 --> 00:52:47,207 Um... 1055 00:52:47,251 --> 00:52:50,428 you know, try not to look into this, but... 1056 00:52:52,081 --> 00:52:55,955 do you maybe wanna get out of here? 1057 00:52:57,522 --> 00:52:59,263 Whoo! Yeah! 1058 00:52:59,306 --> 00:53:01,308 What is wrong with me? 1059 00:53:01,352 --> 00:53:03,963 No, no, no, I thought she was gonna knock over that tree. 1060 00:53:04,006 --> 00:53:05,617 With that bony ass? 1061 00:53:05,660 --> 00:53:07,836 She has nowhere the amount of force 1062 00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:09,751 or weight necessary to move that sort of mass. 1063 00:53:09,795 --> 00:53:11,536 Okay, no, that was bad timing. 1064 00:53:11,579 --> 00:53:13,601 No, that was bad timing, it was a half-second of distraction. 1065 00:53:13,625 --> 00:53:15,670 No, you know what? Guys don"t ever mature. 1066 00:53:15,714 --> 00:53:17,759 Like, look at my dad. 1067 00:53:17,803 --> 00:53:19,805 Just, all men are ruled by their dicks. 1068 00:53:19,848 --> 00:53:21,850 They have one dick driving the boat, 1069 00:53:21,894 --> 00:53:24,351 and then they have all these thousands of little dicks in their head, 1070 00:53:24,375 --> 00:53:27,029 -just telling the big dick where to go, so... - Okay. 1071 00:53:27,073 --> 00:53:29,945 Can you not make this more than it has to be? 1072 00:53:29,989 --> 00:53:31,295 What can I do? 1073 00:53:41,174 --> 00:53:43,437 You can hit on Brandy. For real. 1074 00:53:44,351 --> 00:53:46,266 - No, I"m serious. - Come on. 1075 00:53:46,310 --> 00:53:49,617 - Come on. - No, I"m serious. 1076 00:53:49,661 --> 00:53:52,185 You"re a lady-killer, right? Yeah. And you"re great at sex. 1077 00:53:52,229 --> 00:53:55,841 And you two still have some sort of chemistry going on, and... 1078 00:53:55,884 --> 00:53:57,538 it"ll be one last test. 1079 00:53:58,626 --> 00:53:59,975 Because if she hooks up with you, 1080 00:54:00,019 --> 00:54:02,935 then she shows her true colors, and I win. 1081 00:54:02,978 --> 00:54:07,287 But if she turns you down, then I get to see you rejected, and I still win, so... 1082 00:54:07,331 --> 00:54:08,723 it"s a win-win for me. 1083 00:54:11,073 --> 00:54:12,901 And you"d rather see me do that 1084 00:54:12,945 --> 00:54:15,426 than continue whatever is going on here? 1085 00:54:18,690 --> 00:54:19,865 Yeah. 1086 00:54:19,908 --> 00:54:21,954 - I really need to know. - Really? 1087 00:54:27,176 --> 00:54:28,961 Fine. 1088 00:54:29,962 --> 00:54:32,225 Ah... by the way, 1089 00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:33,835 nobody turns this down. 1090 00:54:33,879 --> 00:54:35,489 You"re the worst. 1091 00:54:35,533 --> 00:54:36,969 Hey! 1092 00:54:37,012 --> 00:54:38,318 Oh! 1093 00:55:06,215 --> 00:55:08,392 Cover your dongs, gentlemen. 1094 00:55:11,482 --> 00:55:12,961 Open the door. 1095 00:55:13,005 --> 00:55:14,485 What the... 1096 00:55:16,225 --> 00:55:17,836 What the hell are you doing? 1097 00:55:17,879 --> 00:55:21,013 What are you doing in a bathroom stall with Josh? 1098 00:55:21,056 --> 00:55:22,841 We"re having a smoke. Why? 1099 00:55:22,884 --> 00:55:25,147 What did you think we were doing? 1100 00:55:29,935 --> 00:55:32,633 Wait a second, you thought we were hooking up in there? 1101 00:55:34,461 --> 00:55:36,985 I can"t believe that you would think so low of me 1102 00:55:37,029 --> 00:55:39,727 that you think I would cheat on your dad. 1103 00:55:39,771 --> 00:55:43,296 I would never cheat on your dad because I care about him, and I respect him. 1104 00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:45,385 I would never jeopardize what we have 1105 00:55:45,429 --> 00:55:48,693 by banging the guy who didn"t get the Jeep commercial. 1106 00:55:48,736 --> 00:55:51,826 - Hey. - Yeah, he"s way hotter than a guy in a Jeep ad. 1107 00:55:52,610 --> 00:55:54,176 Yeah, thank you. 1108 00:55:56,048 --> 00:55:57,136 What? 1109 00:55:58,485 --> 00:56:00,487 Wait, 1110 00:56:00,531 --> 00:56:03,316 is he the reason for all of this? 1111 00:56:04,665 --> 00:56:06,624 God, you don"t even remember, do you? 1112 00:56:06,667 --> 00:56:08,190 What? 1113 00:56:08,234 --> 00:56:10,845 I told you that I had a crush on him. 1114 00:56:12,064 --> 00:56:15,415 I opened my fragile teenage heart to you, 1115 00:56:15,459 --> 00:56:17,939 and instead of being a good friend, 1116 00:56:17,983 --> 00:56:20,464 you yanked his crank right in front of me. 1117 00:56:20,507 --> 00:56:22,030 I didn"t think it was a big deal. 1118 00:56:22,074 --> 00:56:23,902 I mean, you never said anything. 1119 00:56:23,945 --> 00:56:25,686 I was hurt. 1120 00:56:26,557 --> 00:56:27,862 Because you made me think that 1121 00:56:27,906 --> 00:56:29,647 I wasn"t good enough for him. 1122 00:56:30,909 --> 00:56:32,563 Did you even notice that you and I 1123 00:56:32,606 --> 00:56:34,434 stopped hanging out completely after that? 1124 00:56:34,478 --> 00:56:35,957 It"s just, I thought you were busy 1125 00:56:36,001 --> 00:56:37,394 with college applications 1126 00:56:37,437 --> 00:56:40,527 and Peter Grumbauer. 1127 00:56:40,571 --> 00:56:42,224 Whoa. 1128 00:56:43,269 --> 00:56:45,445 Was I an insensitive bitch to you? 1129 00:56:45,489 --> 00:56:47,099 Those are a few words for it. 1130 00:56:47,142 --> 00:56:49,144 Just a selfish, teen monster. 1131 00:56:50,189 --> 00:56:52,017 I"ll allow it. 1132 00:56:52,060 --> 00:56:54,715 Emma, I"m sorry. Truly. 1133 00:56:57,588 --> 00:56:59,024 Thank you. 1134 00:56:59,067 --> 00:57:01,809 Emma, I really hope that you can forgive me. 1135 00:57:05,857 --> 00:57:09,426 It was a long time ago, so, maybe I can try. 1136 00:57:09,469 --> 00:57:12,037 Okay, because really, like, there"s no reason 1137 00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:16,476 for us to be fighting over this Riverdaleextra. 1138 00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:19,000 Justin Timberlake backup dancer. 1139 00:57:19,044 --> 00:57:20,741 You"re starting to hurt my feelings. 1140 00:57:20,785 --> 00:57:23,309 We are two strong, independent women. 1141 00:57:23,352 --> 00:57:24,832 We are... are too smart 1142 00:57:24,876 --> 00:57:27,182 to let some guy come between us. 1143 00:57:27,226 --> 00:57:28,880 Yes, absolutely! 1144 00:57:28,923 --> 00:57:31,360 - Totally agree. - Great. 1145 00:57:31,404 --> 00:57:33,145 So you"ll stop seeing my dad? 1146 00:57:35,626 --> 00:57:38,237 I"m sorry, what did you just say to me? 1147 00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:42,197 So you"ll stop... seeing my dad. 1148 00:57:43,764 --> 00:57:46,245 - Did you hear this chick? - Mmm. 1149 00:57:46,288 --> 00:57:47,899 Wow! 1150 00:57:47,942 --> 00:57:51,903 Cool, so you... Nothing has changed, huh? 1151 00:57:51,946 --> 00:57:55,080 Yeah, you are still the same judgy, petty, 1152 00:57:55,123 --> 00:57:59,606 passive-aggressive A-hole you were ten minutes ago. 1153 00:57:59,650 --> 00:58:02,348 The same girl who spent the entire week slut-shaming me 1154 00:58:02,391 --> 00:58:04,437 and calling me stupid. 1155 00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:07,484 Do you know what"s stupid? Being mean-spirited 1156 00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:10,487 and trying to shut people out who just want you to like them. 1157 00:58:10,530 --> 00:58:12,619 And do you know what happens to people like you? 1158 00:58:12,663 --> 00:58:14,621 They end up alone. 1159 00:58:14,665 --> 00:58:17,494 God, I have done nothing but try to be kind to you, 1160 00:58:17,537 --> 00:58:19,365 and I"ve taken a ton of shit from you, 1161 00:58:19,408 --> 00:58:21,280 so guess what? 1162 00:58:21,323 --> 00:58:22,629 I am done! 1163 00:58:22,673 --> 00:58:24,892 I am done trying to win you over. 1164 00:58:24,936 --> 00:58:27,634 In fact, no, I am done with you, period. 1165 00:58:27,678 --> 00:58:31,725 Okay, well, I may have taken things too far... 1166 00:58:31,769 --> 00:58:34,815 You know, I was never competing with you for your dad"s attention, 1167 00:58:34,859 --> 00:58:38,036 but if you are psycho enough to think that I"m trying to steal him away from you, 1168 00:58:38,079 --> 00:58:40,255 then fine! Huh? 1169 00:58:40,299 --> 00:58:41,779 Maybe I"ll do that! 1170 00:58:41,822 --> 00:58:43,868 Yeah! You know, we talked about him retiring early 1171 00:58:43,911 --> 00:58:45,826 -and moving to Los Angeles. - What? 1172 00:58:45,870 --> 00:58:48,960 Mmm, the West Coast sounds pretty fantastic right about now. 1173 00:58:51,353 --> 00:58:54,052 If you wanna go to war with me... 1174 00:58:54,095 --> 00:58:57,011 - I will win. - Okay, let"s not get crazy... 1175 00:58:57,055 --> 00:59:00,101 Oh, you haven"t seen crazy yet, missy! 1176 00:59:00,145 --> 00:59:02,016 I once beat Megan Thee Stallion 1177 00:59:02,060 --> 00:59:04,366 in a titty twister contest! 1178 00:59:06,238 --> 00:59:08,109 Guard your titties, bitch! 1179 00:59:11,330 --> 00:59:13,550 Didn"t think that one through. 1180 00:59:18,119 --> 00:59:20,121 Pick up the phone. 1181 00:59:21,688 --> 00:59:25,039 So, what is happening exactly? 1182 00:59:25,083 --> 00:59:27,476 Well, I woke the sleeping giant, 1183 00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:30,784 and the Sasquatch is coming to destroy my life. 1184 00:59:30,828 --> 00:59:32,090 Brandy? 1185 00:59:32,133 --> 00:59:33,657 Where is she? 1186 00:59:35,136 --> 00:59:37,269 Lurking, biding her time 1187 00:59:37,312 --> 00:59:38,966 for the perfect moment 1188 00:59:39,010 --> 00:59:42,187 to twist my titties. 1189 00:59:42,230 --> 00:59:43,667 Okay, is Josh there? 1190 00:59:44,972 --> 00:59:46,626 Mmm, yeah. 1191 00:59:46,670 --> 00:59:47,932 Put him on. 1192 00:59:49,020 --> 00:59:50,412 Hey. 1193 00:59:51,805 --> 00:59:53,241 Hey! 1194 00:59:54,765 --> 00:59:56,331 It"s for you. 1195 00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:01,206 Trade.Oh. 1196 01:00:02,381 --> 01:00:03,991 She obviously can"t drive home. 1197 01:00:04,035 --> 01:00:08,517 - Yeah. - Can you take care of her? 1198 01:00:08,561 --> 01:00:11,956 Help her sober up before you put her in a car so she doesn"t go home drunk? 1199 01:00:11,999 --> 01:00:14,567 Uh, yeah. 1200 01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:16,221 I mean, she can crash on my couch. 1201 01:00:16,264 --> 01:00:18,397 - I live above the bar. - Okay. 1202 01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:20,181 But I"m trusting you with my friend, 1203 01:00:20,225 --> 01:00:23,141 so if you take advantage of her in any way, 1204 01:00:23,184 --> 01:00:26,579 I will make balloon animals out of your wiener. 1205 01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:28,712 Did you two go to the same finishing school? 1206 01:00:28,755 --> 01:00:30,017 Shut up. 1207 01:00:31,715 --> 01:00:33,107 She"s great. 1208 01:00:34,152 --> 01:00:36,545 I "ll take that. That"s not fair. 1209 01:00:36,589 --> 01:00:37,938 "Donkey." 1210 01:00:40,462 --> 01:00:41,812 Oh. 1211 01:00:44,728 --> 01:00:46,381 Oh... 1212 01:00:47,731 --> 01:00:50,298 God, this is your fault. 1213 01:00:50,342 --> 01:00:52,039 How is this my fault? 1214 01:00:53,388 --> 01:00:56,217 Oh, it"ll come to me. Just give me a minute. 1215 01:00:56,261 --> 01:00:58,089 Ah, well, you can sleep on the couch. 1216 01:00:58,132 --> 01:01:00,613 Nice. 1217 01:01:00,657 --> 01:01:03,355 I like to keep my place tidy. 1218 01:01:03,877 --> 01:01:05,618 Lame. 1219 01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:07,576 Terrible striptease. 1220 01:01:07,620 --> 01:01:09,187 Just awful. 1221 01:01:12,538 --> 01:01:14,105 Okay. 1222 01:01:14,845 --> 01:01:16,585 - This? - Mmm-hmm. 1223 01:01:19,240 --> 01:01:22,766 Yeah, I"ll take the couch. 1224 01:02:16,254 --> 01:02:19,257 Josh? Hey. 1225 01:02:21,259 --> 01:02:23,174 Hey, you all right? 1226 01:02:40,800 --> 01:02:43,063 Wait, are you sober? 1227 01:02:43,107 --> 01:02:44,761 As a judge. Yeah? 1228 01:02:44,804 --> 01:02:46,545 Mmm-hmm. 1229 01:02:46,588 --> 01:02:48,329 ♪ Hands up ♪ 1230 01:02:48,373 --> 01:02:50,201 ♪ Guard dropped ♪ 1231 01:02:50,244 --> 01:02:52,116 ♪ Heart stopped ♪ 1232 01:02:53,857 --> 01:02:55,684 ♪ Tiptoe ♪ 1233 01:02:55,728 --> 01:02:57,904 ♪ So slow ♪ 1234 01:02:57,948 --> 01:03:00,472 ♪ Trying to steal your heart ♪ 1235 01:03:02,561 --> 01:03:05,346 Wait, this is consensual? 1236 01:03:05,390 --> 01:03:06,565 Very. 1237 01:03:08,654 --> 01:03:10,308 ♪ Hands up ♪ 1238 01:03:10,351 --> 01:03:12,266 ♪ Guard dropped ♪ 1239 01:03:12,310 --> 01:03:14,268 ♪ Don"t stop ♪ 1240 01:03:21,232 --> 01:03:23,582 Just triple-checking this is consent. 1241 01:03:23,625 --> 01:03:26,019 I"m initiating, and you"re consenting, right? 1242 01:03:26,063 --> 01:03:27,629 Yeah.Okay. 1243 01:03:33,766 --> 01:03:36,247 ♪ She said "Kiss me" ♪ 1244 01:03:36,290 --> 01:03:38,075 ♪ Slowly ♪ 1245 01:03:38,118 --> 01:03:40,729 ♪ I don"t wanna go too fast ♪ 1246 01:03:41,948 --> 01:03:43,645 ♪ Stay here ♪ 1247 01:03:43,689 --> 01:03:45,604 ♪ So near ♪ 1248 01:03:45,647 --> 01:03:49,303 ♪ Make this last ♪ 1249 01:03:49,347 --> 01:03:53,394 ♪ Love ♪ 1250 01:03:53,438 --> 01:03:55,527 ♪ How am I ♪ 1251 01:03:56,702 --> 01:03:58,530 ♪ Hands up ♪ 1252 01:03:58,573 --> 01:04:00,271 ♪ Guard dropped ♪ 1253 01:04:00,314 --> 01:04:02,708 ♪ Don"t stop ♪ 1254 01:04:24,556 --> 01:04:25,949 Hey. 1255 01:04:25,992 --> 01:04:27,472 What"re you doing? 1256 01:04:27,515 --> 01:04:28,777 I"m gonna head out. 1257 01:04:28,821 --> 01:04:31,824 Really? What time is it? 1258 01:04:32,607 --> 01:04:34,522 Early. 1259 01:04:34,566 --> 01:04:36,698 Why don"t you just stay here? 1260 01:04:38,570 --> 01:04:41,703 No, I gotta go face Dad and Brandy. 1261 01:04:41,747 --> 01:04:43,357 She was really mad last night. 1262 01:04:43,401 --> 01:04:46,012 Yeah. It"ll be all right. 1263 01:04:46,056 --> 01:04:47,535 Just be yourself. 1264 01:04:48,536 --> 01:04:49,929 Or... 1265 01:04:49,973 --> 01:04:52,192 actually be the opposite of that. 1266 01:04:55,108 --> 01:04:56,805 Wait, hold on. 1267 01:04:57,589 --> 01:04:59,069 You know, that was... 1268 01:05:00,418 --> 01:05:03,377 that was really something. 1269 01:05:04,117 --> 01:05:05,684 Was it? 1270 01:05:05,727 --> 01:05:07,033 Yeah. 1271 01:05:07,077 --> 01:05:08,687 It... wasn"t it? 1272 01:05:11,516 --> 01:05:16,042 So, when you mentioned the camera and your photography... 1273 01:05:16,086 --> 01:05:18,392 why"d you let me underestimate you like that? 1274 01:05:21,439 --> 01:05:25,399 Mmm, I don"t know. Sometimes it"s easier 1275 01:05:25,443 --> 01:05:28,794 to let people believe what they want about you. 1276 01:05:28,837 --> 01:05:31,710 You know, it takes work to really get to know someone. 1277 01:05:31,753 --> 01:05:34,191 Yeah, well, who wants more work? 1278 01:05:36,019 --> 01:05:37,368 Yeah. 1279 01:05:38,673 --> 01:05:40,806 Isn"t that what life"s about, though? 1280 01:05:41,633 --> 01:05:44,244 People? Connection? 1281 01:05:47,204 --> 01:05:49,119 I don"t know, maybe. 1282 01:05:51,904 --> 01:05:54,341 All right, well, I think I have everything, 1283 01:05:54,385 --> 01:05:56,822 and I"m not doing that thing where I leave something behind. 1284 01:05:57,649 --> 01:05:59,390 Eh, it doesn"t really matter. 1285 01:05:59,433 --> 01:06:03,002 If you wanna see someone again, you can find a reason. 1286 01:06:05,309 --> 01:06:07,746 - All right, well... - What? 1287 01:06:08,834 --> 01:06:10,140 Hold on one sec. 1288 01:06:14,622 --> 01:06:16,407 Am I missing something here? 1289 01:06:17,538 --> 01:06:21,412 No, I"ll just... I"ll see you around. 1290 01:06:24,067 --> 01:06:26,547 - I can walk you out. - No, I"ve got it. 1291 01:06:30,073 --> 01:06:31,509 Okay. 1292 01:06:57,970 --> 01:06:59,363 Damn it. 1293 01:07:17,511 --> 01:07:19,035 Hey, Dad, are you here? 1294 01:07:31,786 --> 01:07:33,136 Is everything okay? 1295 01:07:34,441 --> 01:07:37,792 Yeah, yeah, whoo! 1296 01:07:37,836 --> 01:07:40,578 - Everything all right? - Love that! 1297 01:07:40,621 --> 01:07:41,883 - Aah! - No, no, no, no, no! 1298 01:07:41,927 --> 01:07:43,450 No! Erase! Erase! 1299 01:07:43,494 --> 01:07:45,670 Erase! Erase! 1300 01:07:45,713 --> 01:07:46,888 Monkey! 1301 01:07:46,932 --> 01:07:49,108 Um, I"ll be there in a second. 1302 01:07:49,152 --> 01:07:52,329 - No! - ♪ The itsy-bitsy-spider ♪ 1303 01:07:52,372 --> 01:07:54,592 - Are you insane? - ♪ Went up the water spout ♪ 1304 01:07:54,635 --> 01:07:57,421 ♪ Down came the rain and... ♪ 1305 01:07:58,813 --> 01:08:01,077 You made Addy watch? 1306 01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:02,774 We didn"t know you were in the house. 1307 01:08:02,817 --> 01:08:04,993 I mean, you really should announce your presence. 1308 01:08:05,037 --> 01:08:07,257 Oh, I"m sorry, I was expecting to come home 1309 01:08:07,300 --> 01:08:09,128 on Christmas Eve and go ice skating 1310 01:08:09,172 --> 01:08:11,217 with my father like we do every year. 1311 01:08:11,261 --> 01:08:13,176 But instead I find you and him going at it 1312 01:08:13,219 --> 01:08:14,916 like you"re in the Home Depot stock room. 1313 01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:16,570 So excuse me, this is... 1314 01:08:16,614 --> 01:08:18,224 This is human nature. 1315 01:08:18,268 --> 01:08:20,008 We are in an adult relationship, 1316 01:08:20,052 --> 01:08:22,837 and you should probably get used to it. 1317 01:08:22,881 --> 01:08:25,971 I need to have a private conversation with my father for a moment. 1318 01:08:26,014 --> 01:08:27,451 - Family talk. - Uh, no. 1319 01:08:27,494 --> 01:08:29,061 This is not family time, see? 1320 01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:30,454 This is sexy time. 1321 01:08:30,497 --> 01:08:32,325 And you are not a part of sexy time. 1322 01:08:32,369 --> 01:08:35,328 Actually, you are not a part of this relationship. 1323 01:08:35,372 --> 01:08:37,591 - You"re not a part of this family. - Whoa! 1324 01:08:37,635 --> 01:08:40,899 That"s enough, both of you. Stop it. 1325 01:08:40,942 --> 01:08:43,597 Look, none of us are happy with the current situation, 1326 01:08:43,641 --> 01:08:45,164 including me. 1327 01:08:45,208 --> 01:08:46,687 But this is our reality, 1328 01:08:46,731 --> 01:08:48,950 and we have to find a way to work through it. 1329 01:08:48,994 --> 01:08:52,040 Okay, but your daughter is the one who has to work through her issues, okay? 1330 01:08:52,084 --> 01:08:54,217 Starting with codependency. 1331 01:08:54,260 --> 01:08:57,307 Oh, you two think that you don"t have any issues as a couple? 1332 01:08:57,350 --> 01:09:02,050 Really? I mean, sure, I guess the sex is good now, 1333 01:09:02,094 --> 01:09:04,096 but do you really think 1334 01:09:04,140 --> 01:09:06,054 that she"s not going to get bored with you 1335 01:09:06,098 --> 01:09:07,839 and leave you for a younger guy? 1336 01:09:07,882 --> 01:09:09,251 I don"t think that"s any of your business. 1337 01:09:09,275 --> 01:09:11,016 Oh, maybe he"ll leave you first. 1338 01:09:11,059 --> 01:09:15,499 Because you and my dad"s Venn diagram has no overlap. 1339 01:09:15,542 --> 01:09:17,457 Have you even seen The Godfather? 1340 01:09:17,501 --> 01:09:18,676 Didn"t think so. 1341 01:09:18,719 --> 01:09:20,286 And can you name one band 1342 01:09:20,330 --> 01:09:22,245 in the last five years? 1343 01:09:22,288 --> 01:09:24,116 I"m not even gonna let you answer that. 1344 01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:26,510 Brandy doesn"t like Moscato. 1345 01:09:26,553 --> 01:09:28,860 And Dad doesn"t like those hipster shirts that you buy him. 1346 01:09:28,903 --> 01:09:30,427 You don"t? 1347 01:09:30,470 --> 01:09:32,231 He"s not selling organic Popsicles in Brooklyn. 1348 01:09:32,255 --> 01:09:34,561 All right, Emma, that"s enough, all right? Stop it. 1349 01:09:34,605 --> 01:09:37,260 Dad, are you really moving to Los Angeles? 1350 01:09:38,435 --> 01:09:40,088 Our people don"t belong in the sun. 1351 01:09:40,132 --> 01:09:42,830 We"re just one big melanoma. 1352 01:09:42,874 --> 01:09:44,615 And, Brandy, have you thought about kids 1353 01:09:44,658 --> 01:09:46,965 -and whether or not you even want them? - Okay. 1354 01:09:47,008 --> 01:09:51,230 - Because my dad has already had his family. - Emma, not another word. 1355 01:09:51,274 --> 01:09:54,625 - But we"re not done talking. - Yes, we are. 1356 01:09:54,668 --> 01:09:57,236 - Dad. - Go to your room. 1357 01:11:24,758 --> 01:11:27,065 - I"m concerned. - Why? 1358 01:11:27,108 --> 01:11:28,980 I don"t think I should be here. 1359 01:11:29,023 --> 01:11:30,982 I didn"t think you would come, so thank you. 1360 01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,592 Come on in.Great. 1361 01:11:36,204 --> 01:11:38,337 You look like a Hot Topic threw up on you. 1362 01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:39,686 I did buy this there. 1363 01:11:40,383 --> 01:11:42,341 Okay. Oh, God. 1364 01:11:42,385 --> 01:11:44,648 Hey, Charlyne. So nice you could join us. 1365 01:11:44,691 --> 01:11:46,911 - Yeah, I... - Your family probably misses you. 1366 01:11:46,954 --> 01:11:49,261 Oh, no, they probably haven"t even noticed yet. 1367 01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:50,915 They are a mess. 1368 01:11:55,920 --> 01:11:57,835 Why don"t we get started opening presents? 1369 01:11:59,140 --> 01:12:00,335 - Hi. - Let"s see who goes first. 1370 01:12:00,359 --> 01:12:02,143 - Welcome. - I will. 1371 01:12:02,187 --> 01:12:04,145 Uh... yeah. 1372 01:12:04,189 --> 01:12:06,278 Huh, I wonder who this is from. 1373 01:12:09,629 --> 01:12:11,109 Oh... 1374 01:12:12,458 --> 01:12:13,938 Wow. 1375 01:12:16,114 --> 01:12:17,463 Thanks, hon. 1376 01:12:18,464 --> 01:12:20,248 Yeah, sure. 1377 01:12:22,903 --> 01:12:25,341 Let"s see. Your turn, Emma. 1378 01:12:26,646 --> 01:12:28,344 "From Emma." 1379 01:12:28,387 --> 01:12:30,346 Aw, I love you. 1380 01:12:32,348 --> 01:12:34,959 Merry Christmas, everyone. 1381 01:12:36,787 --> 01:12:38,179 Let"s see. 1382 01:12:43,054 --> 01:12:44,098 What"s this? 1383 01:12:45,230 --> 01:12:48,276 I put a down payment on the lake house. 1384 01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:49,756 You what? 1385 01:12:49,800 --> 01:12:52,411 With some savings and my inheritance from Mom. 1386 01:12:53,456 --> 01:12:54,979 Why"d you do that? 1387 01:12:56,502 --> 01:12:59,592 Because it belongs in our family. 1388 01:12:59,636 --> 01:13:01,986 It"s the place where we were the happiest. 1389 01:13:02,029 --> 01:13:04,162 This is... too much. 1390 01:13:04,205 --> 01:13:06,686 This is all... too much. 1391 01:13:06,730 --> 01:13:09,297 You can"t... You can"t buy a house 1392 01:13:09,341 --> 01:13:11,735 just to recapture your childhood memories 1393 01:13:11,778 --> 01:13:15,260 or re-imagine us as some kind of idyllic family. 1394 01:13:15,303 --> 01:13:16,957 That is how I remember us. 1395 01:13:17,001 --> 01:13:18,872 Your mom and I did not have a perfect marriage. 1396 01:13:18,916 --> 01:13:21,440 We had our problems, like anyone else. 1397 01:13:21,484 --> 01:13:23,181 What kind of problems? 1398 01:13:30,971 --> 01:13:33,191 Why is she acting like she knows something I don"t? 1399 01:13:33,234 --> 01:13:36,716 Because secrets are meant to be kept secrets. 1400 01:13:36,760 --> 01:13:40,067 Your mom had an affair when you were in high school. 1401 01:13:40,111 --> 01:13:41,417 Fuck me. 1402 01:13:43,070 --> 01:13:45,464 - With who? - It doesn"t matter, 1403 01:13:45,508 --> 01:13:48,685 and it wasn"t for very long, and we worked our way through it. 1404 01:13:48,728 --> 01:13:53,124 I believe we were truly happy again before she passed away. 1405 01:13:53,167 --> 01:13:55,039 And you never told me? 1406 01:13:55,082 --> 01:13:56,954 It wasn"t something you had to deal with, 1407 01:13:56,997 --> 01:13:59,609 and I didn"t want it to affect how you felt about your mom. 1408 01:13:59,652 --> 01:14:01,480 But you told Brandy. 1409 01:14:02,655 --> 01:14:04,265 No, I didn"t. 1410 01:14:10,576 --> 01:14:12,752 My mom talked to you about it. 1411 01:14:12,796 --> 01:14:16,974 When you two had your secret talks. 1412 01:14:17,017 --> 01:14:20,499 - You"re a better friend to my mom than I ever was. - Oh, Emma, that"s not true. 1413 01:14:20,543 --> 01:14:22,893 You know both of my parents better than I ever did, 1414 01:14:22,936 --> 01:14:24,677 you"re more part of this family than I am. 1415 01:14:24,721 --> 01:14:26,287 No. 1416 01:14:27,288 --> 01:14:29,813 I loved your mom so much. 1417 01:14:31,815 --> 01:14:34,774 But she"s gone now. She"s not coming back. 1418 01:14:34,818 --> 01:14:36,602 I"m just trying to move forward. 1419 01:14:41,955 --> 01:14:43,914 You two don"t make any sense. 1420 01:14:43,957 --> 01:14:45,742 Maybe you"re right. 1421 01:14:45,785 --> 01:14:47,961 You made some good points last night. 1422 01:14:48,005 --> 01:14:50,790 There are a lot of reasons why we don"t work on paper. 1423 01:14:50,834 --> 01:14:52,966 And she might leave me someday. 1424 01:14:54,185 --> 01:14:55,795 But that"s a risk I"m willing to take 1425 01:14:55,839 --> 01:14:58,406 so I can spend another minute with her, 1426 01:14:58,450 --> 01:14:59,973 because... 1427 01:15:02,019 --> 01:15:03,194 I love her. 1428 01:15:06,240 --> 01:15:08,678 I love you. 1429 01:15:10,418 --> 01:15:12,812 - Dad! - Emma, no! 1430 01:15:14,031 --> 01:15:17,513 You say what you need to say. Say it now. 1431 01:15:17,556 --> 01:15:19,732 This is the kind of future that you want? 1432 01:15:21,865 --> 01:15:24,171 I don"t know if I can be a part of it. 1433 01:15:24,215 --> 01:15:26,391 So you"re saying it"s between you and her. 1434 01:15:26,434 --> 01:15:28,935 - That"s not what she's saying. - That"s exactly what I'm saying. 1435 01:15:28,959 --> 01:15:30,438 Zip it, traitor. 1436 01:15:31,831 --> 01:15:34,138 Can"t you see that Brandy is, like, 1437 01:15:34,181 --> 01:15:36,140 a serial killer? 1438 01:15:36,183 --> 01:15:38,490 She"s trying to destroy our family, 1439 01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:40,971 and it"s working! She"s winning! 1440 01:15:41,754 --> 01:15:43,669 It"s a Christmas Day massacre! 1441 01:15:44,888 --> 01:15:46,585 Emma... 1442 01:15:47,978 --> 01:15:49,762 what are you talking about? 1443 01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,590 No, no, she"s right. 1444 01:15:52,809 --> 01:15:55,202 I can"t do this. 1445 01:15:55,246 --> 01:15:57,074 I can"t come between you and Emma. 1446 01:15:59,076 --> 01:16:03,689 I saw my family break apart, and it was devastating. 1447 01:16:03,733 --> 01:16:06,213 Both my parents started new families, and I... 1448 01:16:06,257 --> 01:16:07,954 I fell through the cracks. 1449 01:16:07,998 --> 01:16:10,827 So I have felt that distance. 1450 01:16:11,654 --> 01:16:13,177 That absence. 1451 01:16:14,221 --> 01:16:16,223 And I wouldn"t wish it on anyone. 1452 01:16:18,138 --> 01:16:19,313 Not even you. 1453 01:16:21,098 --> 01:16:23,274 Hold on. Hold on. 1454 01:16:23,317 --> 01:16:25,972 That situation isn"t anything like this. 1455 01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:28,845 This is you and me. 1456 01:16:30,324 --> 01:16:31,543 Wait. 1457 01:16:33,371 --> 01:16:34,894 Please, stay. 1458 01:16:35,852 --> 01:16:38,724 I can"t. I have to go. 1459 01:16:43,642 --> 01:16:45,078 Dad... 1460 01:16:45,122 --> 01:16:47,385 J... Just don"t. 1461 01:16:49,039 --> 01:16:52,346 - You know what I mean, right? - No, I don"t, you freak! 1462 01:16:52,390 --> 01:16:55,175 Brandy is not destroying your family. 1463 01:16:55,219 --> 01:16:56,873 That"s what you're doing. 1464 01:17:12,323 --> 01:17:14,281 ♪ It"s Christmas And I"m hoping ♪ 1465 01:17:14,325 --> 01:17:17,110 ♪ That you"ll see me... ♪ 1466 01:17:17,154 --> 01:17:19,504 ♪ By New Year"s Eve We might just ♪ 1467 01:17:19,547 --> 01:17:21,332 ♪ Be a thing ♪ 1468 01:17:22,333 --> 01:17:24,335 ♪ Come Valentine"s Day ♪ 1469 01:17:24,378 --> 01:17:26,990 ♪ I might have The strength to say ♪ 1470 01:17:27,033 --> 01:17:32,212 ♪ I"ve loved you From the very beginning ♪ 1471 01:17:32,256 --> 01:17:34,345 ♪ All this magic on the ground ♪ 1472 01:17:34,388 --> 01:17:36,608 ♪ Has got me wishin" ♪ 1473 01:17:37,740 --> 01:17:39,524 ♪ That we won"t melt away ♪ 1474 01:17:39,567 --> 01:17:42,701 ♪ Before we start ♪ 1475 01:17:42,745 --> 01:17:44,572 ♪ There is just one thing ♪ 1476 01:17:44,616 --> 01:17:47,401 ♪ That this holiday"s Been missin" ♪ 1477 01:17:47,445 --> 01:17:49,534 ♪ And that"s you Beneath these lights ♪ 1478 01:17:49,577 --> 01:17:52,493 "♪ Holdin" my heart ♪ 1479 01:17:52,537 --> 01:17:54,539 ♪ If there was ever the time ♪ 1480 01:17:54,582 --> 01:17:56,759 ♪ That I could tell you ♪ 1481 01:17:56,802 --> 01:17:57,977 Okay, so if you... 1482 01:17:58,021 --> 01:17:59,544 ♪ Just what I think ♪ 1483 01:17:59,587 --> 01:18:01,894 ♪ About you, babe ♪ 1484 01:18:03,374 --> 01:18:05,245 ♪ I guess it"s in this moment ♪ 1485 01:18:05,289 --> 01:18:07,465 ♪ With me and the snow fallin" ♪ 1486 01:18:07,508 --> 01:18:09,075 ♪ And I"m praying that ♪ 1487 01:18:09,119 --> 01:18:10,424 Sorry... 1488 01:18:10,468 --> 01:18:12,383 ♪ You"ll feel the same way ♪ 1489 01:18:22,480 --> 01:18:24,221 ♪ I"ve gotten really good ♪ 1490 01:18:24,264 --> 01:18:27,964 ♪ At wrapping up my feelings ♪ 1491 01:18:28,007 --> 01:18:29,792 ♪ In the pretty little bow ♪ 1492 01:18:29,835 --> 01:18:31,750 ♪ Under the tree... ♪ 1493 01:18:33,752 --> 01:18:34,797 Hey, Charlyne. 1494 01:18:35,798 --> 01:18:37,713 Oh, hi, guys. 1495 01:18:43,022 --> 01:18:45,024 ♪ If there was ever a time ♪ 1496 01:18:45,068 --> 01:18:47,157 ♪ That I could tell you ♪ 1497 01:18:48,549 --> 01:18:53,076 ♪ Just what I think About you, babe ♪ 1498 01:18:53,119 --> 01:18:55,513 ♪ I guess It"s in this moment ♪ 1499 01:18:55,556 --> 01:18:58,516 ♪ With me And the snow fallin"... ♪ 1500 01:18:58,559 --> 01:19:00,953 Come on, you"re really never gonna talk to me again? 1501 01:19:00,997 --> 01:19:02,520 Haven"t decided yet. 1502 01:19:03,303 --> 01:19:04,609 Seriously? 1503 01:19:10,746 --> 01:19:15,359 I"m sorry for subjecting you to the Christmas Day Massacre 1504 01:19:15,402 --> 01:19:19,493 and for not listening to you when you were clearly the voice of reason. 1505 01:19:19,537 --> 01:19:21,321 Go on. 1506 01:19:21,365 --> 01:19:23,933 You were right. About everything. 1507 01:19:25,238 --> 01:19:26,849 Leave us. 1508 01:19:32,419 --> 01:19:33,594 I"m the killer. 1509 01:19:34,813 --> 01:19:37,642 I tried to kill Dad and Brandy"s relationship. 1510 01:19:37,685 --> 01:19:39,513 Then Brandy sacrificed her own happiness 1511 01:19:39,557 --> 01:19:42,473 just to protect my relationship with my dad. 1512 01:19:42,516 --> 01:19:45,128 So, I guess if I was setting up a test 1513 01:19:45,171 --> 01:19:47,391 to see if she was a good person, 1514 01:19:47,434 --> 01:19:49,219 she passed. 1515 01:19:50,437 --> 01:19:52,570 She makes my dad happy. 1516 01:19:52,613 --> 01:19:54,180 That"s all I want for him. 1517 01:19:55,399 --> 01:19:57,836 Hallelujah, there is hope for you yet. 1518 01:20:00,012 --> 01:20:02,014 And now I know exactly what I need to do. 1519 01:20:02,058 --> 01:20:04,408 Uh-oh, when you sound so certain, 1520 01:20:04,451 --> 01:20:06,236 it"s certain to be a disaster. 1521 01:20:06,279 --> 01:20:08,107 I"m going to get them back together. 1522 01:20:08,978 --> 01:20:11,110 For Christ"s sakes, you... 1523 01:20:11,154 --> 01:20:12,677 still aren"t getting it. 1524 01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:15,506 If your dad and Brandy wanna be together, 1525 01:20:15,549 --> 01:20:16,899 it"s up to them, not you. 1526 01:20:16,942 --> 01:20:18,857 You can"t go around manipulating people 1527 01:20:18,901 --> 01:20:21,729 like a little blazer-wearing puppet master. 1528 01:20:24,994 --> 01:20:27,126 I need to butt out and leave them alone. 1529 01:20:27,170 --> 01:20:28,345 Yes. 1530 01:20:30,216 --> 01:20:33,045 Geez, how did I even get to this place? 1531 01:20:33,089 --> 01:20:35,395 Uh, neuroses plus narcissism. 1532 01:20:36,614 --> 01:20:37,896 You know, you can take a night off 1533 01:20:37,920 --> 01:20:39,419 from being the consummate truth-teller. 1534 01:20:39,443 --> 01:20:41,314 I"m sorry, it's a curse. 1535 01:20:43,360 --> 01:20:45,841 Have you talked to your dad? 1536 01:20:48,452 --> 01:20:51,455 We"re giving each other some space at the moment. 1537 01:20:51,498 --> 01:20:53,109 That"s probably not a bad idea. 1538 01:20:57,940 --> 01:21:00,377 You know, when I went on that research retreat, 1539 01:21:00,420 --> 01:21:04,120 we were exploring building electric cars in small villages in Africa. 1540 01:21:05,382 --> 01:21:08,254 The company offered to relocate me to Botswana. 1541 01:21:09,995 --> 01:21:11,301 Yeah? 1542 01:21:15,696 --> 01:21:18,830 Maybe I should do that. 1543 01:21:20,484 --> 01:21:22,181 I would miss you like crazy. 1544 01:21:24,227 --> 01:21:25,489 You too. 1545 01:21:37,501 --> 01:21:39,851 We"re back and coming to you live... 1546 01:22:15,582 --> 01:22:16,932 Hey, Dad... 1547 01:22:18,107 --> 01:22:20,500 I don"t know if you're still avoiding me, or... 1548 01:22:20,544 --> 01:22:22,763 maybe you"re at the New Year"s Eve benefit. 1549 01:22:24,026 --> 01:22:25,723 Anyway, I-I just wanted to talk 1550 01:22:25,766 --> 01:22:27,420 before I leave for Africa. 1551 01:22:28,769 --> 01:22:30,946 Okay, bye. 1552 01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:59,017 Shouldn"t you be inside? 1553 01:23:00,410 --> 01:23:02,064 Yeah. 1554 01:23:02,107 --> 01:23:04,196 So, why are you hanging out here? 1555 01:23:05,545 --> 01:23:08,244 Well, I haven"t seen her since... 1556 01:23:09,114 --> 01:23:10,681 Well... 1557 01:23:12,030 --> 01:23:13,205 So... 1558 01:23:14,380 --> 01:23:15,773 So... 1559 01:23:19,690 --> 01:23:21,170 I was a real asshole. 1560 01:23:21,213 --> 01:23:24,260 Yep, grade-A shitbag. 1561 01:23:25,174 --> 01:23:26,740 Can you ever forgive me? 1562 01:23:26,784 --> 01:23:28,916 I think that"s been part of my job description 1563 01:23:28,960 --> 01:23:30,875 since the moment you were born. 1564 01:23:32,833 --> 01:23:34,313 And, honestly, 1565 01:23:34,357 --> 01:23:37,795 I"m probably not blameless in this whole thing. 1566 01:23:37,838 --> 01:23:40,319 So, is blaming you an option? 1567 01:23:40,363 --> 01:23:43,540 Well, yeah. I mean, what"s it say about a guy like me 1568 01:23:43,583 --> 01:23:46,021 who raised a shitbag like you? 1569 01:23:50,416 --> 01:23:53,941 I think maybe, when Mom passed, 1570 01:23:53,985 --> 01:23:56,422 taking care of you gave me a purpose. 1571 01:23:58,729 --> 01:24:00,209 It was easier to worry about you 1572 01:24:00,252 --> 01:24:01,862 than to think about... 1573 01:24:01,906 --> 01:24:04,082 what I had lost or... 1574 01:24:04,126 --> 01:24:05,866 how I should move forward. 1575 01:24:05,910 --> 01:24:07,912 That makes two of us. 1576 01:24:09,087 --> 01:24:11,002 But we"ll figure it out. 1577 01:24:14,397 --> 01:24:16,399 So you"re nervous about seeing Brandy? 1578 01:24:18,183 --> 01:24:20,620 Yeah, I don"t know what to say to her. 1579 01:24:21,926 --> 01:24:23,710 You"ll know when the moment comes. 1580 01:24:24,929 --> 01:24:28,846 Now, I"m not interfering in any way whatsoever. 1581 01:24:30,152 --> 01:24:33,546 But... maybe we can walk in together? 1582 01:24:34,243 --> 01:24:35,940 Yeah, yeah. 1583 01:24:56,787 --> 01:24:58,571 Awesome. Hey, guys, 1584 01:24:58,615 --> 01:25:02,097 just wanted to say thank you so much for coming out tonight. 1585 01:25:04,621 --> 01:25:06,840 And I would especially like to thank 1586 01:25:06,884 --> 01:25:10,192 my co-host for the evening, Jack Lockhart. 1587 01:25:10,235 --> 01:25:13,499 Jack, would you like to come up and say a few words? 1588 01:25:19,201 --> 01:25:20,332 Thanks, Brandy. 1589 01:25:21,594 --> 01:25:23,596 Um, good evening. Thanks for coming. 1590 01:25:23,640 --> 01:25:25,859 Um, really all I want to say is 1591 01:25:25,903 --> 01:25:28,819 all the credit for this incredible evening goes to Brandy, 1592 01:25:28,862 --> 01:25:31,996 who"s shown nothing but grace under pressure. 1593 01:25:32,039 --> 01:25:34,390 And, um, getting here wasn"t easy. 1594 01:25:34,433 --> 01:25:36,193 There were definitely some bumps in the road. 1595 01:25:36,218 --> 01:25:38,133 But when aren"t there? 1596 01:25:38,176 --> 01:25:40,874 When you"re in the right car from the right car company, 1597 01:25:40,918 --> 01:25:43,616 with the right people, the ride"s worth a few bumps, 1598 01:25:43,660 --> 01:25:45,227 and we"re all here together tonight. 1599 01:25:45,270 --> 01:25:48,273 So, well, heck, happy New Year! 1600 01:25:48,317 --> 01:25:50,362 Have a good evening, everyone! 1601 01:26:14,560 --> 01:26:16,538 When you said there were gonna be bumps in the road, 1602 01:26:16,562 --> 01:26:19,565 you meant the one giant bump, the... the human 1603 01:26:19,609 --> 01:26:22,220 lump of... of pus. 1604 01:26:22,264 --> 01:26:24,285 I don"t think she's gonna give us a hard time anymore 1605 01:26:24,309 --> 01:26:25,789 and nothing she said changes 1606 01:26:25,832 --> 01:26:27,660 how you and I feel about each other. 1607 01:26:27,704 --> 01:26:30,272 Do you think that maybe she might"ve been right 1608 01:26:30,315 --> 01:26:32,056 about certain things, though? 1609 01:26:33,362 --> 01:26:36,103 I don"t like Moscato. 1610 01:26:36,147 --> 01:26:38,236 I"m more of a cheap beer kind of girl. 1611 01:26:38,280 --> 01:26:40,934 Okay. 1612 01:26:40,978 --> 01:26:44,024 - Trip to the liquor store. Problem solved. - Yeah. 1613 01:26:44,068 --> 01:26:46,418 I"m not that crazy about the shirts you gave me. 1614 01:26:46,462 --> 01:26:48,638 I"m more of a blue button-down kind of guy. 1615 01:26:48,681 --> 01:26:51,380 That"s fine. I wasn"t trying to change you. 1616 01:26:51,423 --> 01:26:55,471 - I don"t think I wanna move to Los Angeles. - Oh, okay. 1617 01:26:57,647 --> 01:27:00,476 - I think I might want kids. - Mmm... 1618 01:27:00,519 --> 01:27:02,521 We can talk about that. 1619 01:27:03,827 --> 01:27:05,872 I mean, I don"t know for sure, 1620 01:27:05,916 --> 01:27:07,981 because I still sprint to the drugstore if the condom breaks, 1621 01:27:08,005 --> 01:27:09,136 for the Plan B pills. 1622 01:27:10,399 --> 01:27:14,794 Um, noted. Better condoms. 1623 01:27:14,838 --> 01:27:16,405 Uh, I don"t think we"re gonna have 1624 01:27:16,448 --> 01:27:18,145 to think about that for a few years. 1625 01:27:18,189 --> 01:27:21,018 - And by then, I"ll be impotent. - Important! 1626 01:27:21,061 --> 01:27:23,803 What is so important about tonight, 1627 01:27:23,847 --> 01:27:26,241 uh, is the urgent cause 1628 01:27:26,284 --> 01:27:28,678 that we are all here to address, 1629 01:27:28,721 --> 01:27:31,681 our city"s homeless community. 1630 01:27:31,724 --> 01:27:33,639 So thank you all for your donations, 1631 01:27:33,683 --> 01:27:35,138 -and why don"t you give yourselves... - What? 1632 01:27:35,162 --> 01:27:36,816 Another round of applause for that? 1633 01:27:40,777 --> 01:27:43,997 - I would also like to thank Brandy... - What? 1634 01:27:44,041 --> 01:27:47,087 For being a true force of nature. 1635 01:27:47,131 --> 01:27:50,090 You all heard what she feels about me. 1636 01:27:50,134 --> 01:27:52,397 I mean, don"t get me wrong, she, uh, 1637 01:27:52,441 --> 01:27:55,270 really got under my skin. 1638 01:27:55,313 --> 01:27:58,882 I mean, sometimes you just wanna strangle her 1639 01:27:58,925 --> 01:28:00,579 until the breath leaves her body. 1640 01:28:00,623 --> 01:28:02,799 Oh, that"s the human lump of pus! 1641 01:28:05,541 --> 01:28:10,110 But, I mean, you have to respect someone who means what she says, 1642 01:28:10,154 --> 01:28:14,506 means well, and makes the people that I love happy. 1643 01:28:16,247 --> 01:28:17,640 And I think, maybe in another life, 1644 01:28:17,683 --> 01:28:19,772 we might"ve been friends. 1645 01:28:21,861 --> 01:28:25,430 Uh, "cause that's what life"s about, right? 1646 01:28:25,474 --> 01:28:28,303 People and connection. 1647 01:28:29,565 --> 01:28:32,176 I know it"s getting close to midnight, so, 1648 01:28:32,219 --> 01:28:34,265 why don"t we put the past behind us 1649 01:28:34,309 --> 01:28:36,833 and say hello to the future? 1650 01:28:37,790 --> 01:28:39,836 - Happy New Year! - Ten, nine... 1651 01:28:39,879 --> 01:28:41,881 So we have a lot of obstacles to overcome. 1652 01:28:41,925 --> 01:28:43,883 - Six, five... - We do. 1653 01:28:43,927 --> 01:28:47,670 Four, three, two, one! 1654 01:28:47,713 --> 01:28:52,022 Happy New Year! 1655 01:29:49,819 --> 01:29:53,518 - Still drive that thing? - Yeah. 1656 01:29:54,563 --> 01:29:56,478 If it ain"t broke, why fix it? 1657 01:30:00,656 --> 01:30:04,355 So, what"re you doing here? I saw you leaving the bar. 1658 01:30:05,704 --> 01:30:07,402 I realized you... 1659 01:30:07,445 --> 01:30:09,404 You left something at my place. 1660 01:30:10,317 --> 01:30:12,276 Mmm, no, I don"t think so. 1661 01:30:12,319 --> 01:30:14,321 Yeah, yeah, you did. 1662 01:30:14,365 --> 01:30:16,019 Pretty sure I didn"t. 1663 01:30:17,063 --> 01:30:19,152 Then what"s this? 1664 01:30:19,762 --> 01:30:23,330 Your hairless cat? 1665 01:30:23,374 --> 01:30:24,419 Right.Yeah. 1666 01:30:24,462 --> 01:30:26,072 Thank you.And... 1667 01:30:26,116 --> 01:30:28,640 Mmm-hmm? Your Fabergé egg. 1668 01:30:28,684 --> 01:30:30,512 I was wondering where that went. 1669 01:30:30,555 --> 01:30:34,516 Thank you. Yes, and... 1670 01:30:34,559 --> 01:30:36,474 a limited edition Goblet of Fire. 1671 01:30:36,518 --> 01:30:38,258 Oh, wow.Yeah. 1672 01:30:38,302 --> 01:30:40,043 - Thank you. - Yeah, you"re welcome. 1673 01:30:40,086 --> 01:30:42,175 You"re so weird. 1674 01:30:42,219 --> 01:30:44,830 You know, I needed these before I leave. 1675 01:30:44,874 --> 01:30:48,834 Yeah. Africa, huh? 1676 01:30:48,878 --> 01:30:50,749 Yeah.Whoa. 1677 01:30:51,794 --> 01:30:55,014 - That feels sudden. - Yeah. 1678 01:30:55,058 --> 01:30:57,016 Sometimes you just need a change. 1679 01:30:58,017 --> 01:30:59,323 Yeah. 1680 01:31:00,585 --> 01:31:01,891 You know, 1681 01:31:01,934 --> 01:31:04,981 I"ve always wanted to go to Africa. 1682 01:31:05,024 --> 01:31:08,550 Shoot giraffes. Pictures, photos, yeah. 1683 01:31:08,593 --> 01:31:10,290 Thank you for clarifying. 1684 01:31:11,378 --> 01:31:13,250 How about you take me with you? 1685 01:31:14,164 --> 01:31:15,687 You serious? 1686 01:31:18,081 --> 01:31:20,779 Yeah... I am. 1687 01:31:24,174 --> 01:31:27,220 Now that sounds like a true crime murder mystery. 1688 01:31:27,264 --> 01:31:30,572 - We both go on a safari, but only one of us comes back? - Mmm-hmm. 1689 01:31:30,615 --> 01:31:34,314 Just to be clear, I would be the murderer, and you would be the "murderee," 1690 01:31:34,358 --> 01:31:36,554 because I know 37 different ways that you can poison someone 1691 01:31:36,578 --> 01:31:38,144 without leaving a trace. 1692 01:31:49,155 --> 01:31:51,070 Babe, watch this. 1693 01:31:53,812 --> 01:31:56,119 Hey, kid, you"re blocking the driveway. 1694 01:31:56,162 --> 01:31:58,034 Dad. 1695 01:31:58,077 --> 01:32:00,384 You break my daughter"s heart, and I"ll kill ya. 1696 01:32:00,427 --> 01:32:03,518 Hey, leave them alone. He wants to kiss her. 1697 01:32:04,519 --> 01:32:06,390 God, you ruin everything. 1698 01:32:08,305 --> 01:32:10,568 Actually, you ruin everything. 1699 01:32:10,612 --> 01:32:13,919 Seriously, move out of the driveway. Go on, get. 1700 01:32:13,963 --> 01:32:15,834 ♪ ...season That gives me hope ♪ 1701 01:32:15,878 --> 01:32:17,836 ♪ There is a reason ♪ 1702 01:32:17,880 --> 01:32:20,578 ♪ For all that We"ve been through ♪ 1703 01:32:20,622 --> 01:32:23,320 ♪ That something new"s Around the corner ♪ 1704 01:32:23,363 --> 01:32:25,278 ♪ Everybody"s laughing ♪ 1705 01:32:25,322 --> 01:32:27,585 ♪ Leaving what"s past There in the past ♪ 1706 01:32:27,629 --> 01:32:31,197 ♪ And I"m so glad I"m sitting next to you ♪ 1707 01:32:31,241 --> 01:32:34,592 ♪ Glad that we had Made it through this year ♪ 1708 01:32:34,636 --> 01:32:37,203 ♪ Everybody come together ♪ 1709 01:32:37,247 --> 01:32:39,423 ♪ Focus on what matters ♪ 1710 01:32:39,466 --> 01:32:41,904 ♪ We don"t have to be alone ♪ 1711 01:32:41,947 --> 01:32:45,211 ♪ We can make this place A home this year ♪ 1712 01:32:45,255 --> 01:32:47,649 ♪ No time like the present ♪ 1713 01:32:47,692 --> 01:32:50,042 ♪ To lay down our defenses ♪ 1714 01:32:50,086 --> 01:32:52,610 ♪ We don"t have to be alone ♪ 1715 01:32:52,654 --> 01:32:55,918 ♪ We can make this place A home this year ♪ 1716 01:32:55,961 --> 01:32:58,355 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo doo-doo-doo ♪ 1717 01:32:58,398 --> 01:33:00,618 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo doo-doo ♪ 1718 01:33:00,662 --> 01:33:04,187 ♪ We don"t have To be alone, oh no ♪ 1719 01:33:05,623 --> 01:33:07,756 ♪ No, we"re dreaming About tomorrow ♪ 1720 01:33:07,799 --> 01:33:10,889 ♪ Watching the snow fall Out the window ♪ 1721 01:33:10,933 --> 01:33:13,892 ♪ I"ve got a new ambition No more wishing ♪ 1722 01:33:13,936 --> 01:33:17,243 ♪ I"ll be by your side This year ♪ 1723 01:33:17,287 --> 01:33:19,855 ♪ Everybody come together ♪ 1724 01:33:19,898 --> 01:33:22,031 ♪ Focus on what matters ♪ 1725 01:33:22,074 --> 01:33:24,599 ♪ We don"t have to be alone ♪ 1726 01:33:24,642 --> 01:33:28,603 ♪ We can make this place A home this year ♪ 1727 01:33:30,648 --> 01:33:33,259 ♪ Everybody come together ♪ 1728 01:33:33,303 --> 01:33:35,305 ♪ Focus on what matters ♪ 1729 01:33:35,348 --> 01:33:37,873 ♪ We don"t have to be alone ♪ 1730 01:33:37,916 --> 01:33:41,224 ♪ We can make this place A home this year ♪ 1731 01:33:41,267 --> 01:33:43,705 ♪ No time like the present ♪ 1732 01:33:43,748 --> 01:33:46,011 ♪ To lay down our defenses ♪ 1733 01:33:46,055 --> 01:33:48,579 ♪ We don"t have to be alone ♪ 1734 01:33:48,623 --> 01:33:51,843 ♪ We can make this place A home this year ♪ 1735 01:33:51,887 --> 01:33:54,541 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo doo-doo-doo ♪ 1736 01:33:54,585 --> 01:33:56,674 ♪ Doo-doo-doo Doo-doo doo-doo-doo ♪ 1737 01:33:56,718 --> 01:34:00,199 ♪ We don"t have To be alone, oh no ♪ 1738 01:34:02,637 --> 01:34:05,161 ♪ Everybody come together ♪ 1739 01:34:05,204 --> 01:34:07,380 ♪ Focus on what matters ♪ 1740 01:34:07,424 --> 01:34:09,992 ♪ We don"t have to be alone ♪ 1741 01:34:10,035 --> 01:34:13,169 ♪ We can make this place A home this year ♪ 1742 01:34:13,212 --> 01:34:15,693 ♪ No time like the present ♪ 1743 01:34:15,737 --> 01:34:18,000 ♪ To lay down our defenses ♪ 1744 01:34:18,043 --> 01:34:20,698 ♪ We don"t have to be alone ♪ 1745 01:34:20,742 --> 01:34:24,789 ♪ We can make this place A home this year ♪ 1746 01:34:26,095 --> 01:34:28,750 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 1747 01:34:28,793 --> 01:34:32,667 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 126180