All language subtitles for The Neighborhood - 04x05 - Welcome To Your Match.SYNCOPY.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com
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1
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,440
Oh, hey, guys. How are you feeling
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,301
- after that wild wedding last night?
- Ooh.
3
00:00:09,302 --> 00:00:12,840
Hungover and headachy, queasy.
4
00:00:12,850 --> 00:00:14,765
Damn, I had a good time.
5
00:00:14,770 --> 00:00:16,380
- (MUTTERS)
- (LAUGHS)
6
00:00:16,390 --> 00:00:18,420
TINA: Oh, hey, Suraya.
7
00:00:18,430 --> 00:00:20,396
We were just talking
about your son's wedding.
8
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,309
Oh, you Indian folks
sure know how to party.
9
00:00:23,310 --> 00:00:24,990
- Ooh!
- You know,
10
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,240
I think I threw my hip out
11
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,230
when your granny and
I were dirty dancing.
12
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:29,690
CALVIN: Uh,
13
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:32,510
Dave, I don't think anybody would call
14
00:00:32,530 --> 00:00:34,440
what you were doing "dancing."
15
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:35,470
Forget "Baby."
16
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,121
Somebody should've put you in a corner.
17
00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:38,129
(LAUGHING)
18
00:00:38,130 --> 00:00:40,610
Okay, you know, I don't
care what you say.
19
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,440
I had the time of my life.
20
00:00:42,450 --> 00:00:45,850
Well, these sweet laddoos
are my way of saying
21
00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:47,320
- "Thank you for coming."
- Oh.
22
00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:49,790
Ooh, well, don't mind if I laddoo.
23
00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:51,290
(LAUGHS)
24
00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:52,330
Hey, Suraya,
25
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:54,710
uh, you're a professional matchmaker.
26
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,849
You know, you think you
can match up my boys?
27
00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:59,892
Oh, Malcolm and Marty would
never go for a matchmaker.
28
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,521
Butler men like to hunt
for their own meat.
29
00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:05,650
I-I mean, women.
30
00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:09,650
I mean, whatever's not offensive.
31
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,020
I matched all my own sons.
32
00:01:13,030 --> 00:01:15,060
Even this one married
a beautiful lawyer,
33
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,320
and he's into anime cosplay.
34
00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:20,280
Wow. She's gorgeous.
35
00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:21,390
Wait a minute.
36
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:24,710
This woman married a
dude dressed as a lizard?
37
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:27,212
I'm very good at what I do.
38
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:31,120
Okay. Well, "very good" usually
means very expensive.
39
00:01:31,130 --> 00:01:35,610
Well, how about, since you
fixed up our transmission,
40
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:37,549
I fix up your boys?
41
00:01:37,550 --> 00:01:39,891
- Okay. Thank you, Suraya.
- (LAUGHS)
42
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:41,810
- You bet. I'll see you soon.
- You got it.
43
00:01:42,850 --> 00:01:44,355
I don't know, Tina.
44
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:46,270
I got a feeling this thing
is gonna blow up
45
00:01:46,290 --> 00:01:48,230
just like her old transmission.
46
00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:51,550
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
47
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:54,180
♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪
48
00:01:55,960 --> 00:02:00,240
So, Malcolm and Marty have no idea
that I'm here to find them wives?
49
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:03,270
Nope. Think of it like a
timeshare presentation.
50
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:07,070
First, we lure them in with
my famous berry cobbler.
51
00:02:07,090 --> 00:02:08,250
And then, wham!
52
00:02:08,270 --> 00:02:10,030
We trap them with a lifetime commitment.
53
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,410
Mm-hmm.
54
00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:13,550
Hey, hey. Is the food ready?
55
00:02:13,570 --> 00:02:16,030
'Cause we're ready! (LAUGHS)
56
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,450
Oh, we got cobbler.
57
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:20,130
Oh, we got company.
58
00:02:20,150 --> 00:02:22,370
- (LAUGHS) Hey, Ms. Suraya.
- Hello.
59
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:23,394
Wait.
60
00:02:24,580 --> 00:02:26,490
Why did you make all
of our favorite foods?
61
00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:28,860
Oh, no. Mama.
62
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,840
You're not trying to sell
us supplements again?
63
00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:34,080
Your mother thought
you could use some help
64
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:35,823
meeting that someone special.
65
00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:39,840
Um, are y'all trying to hook
one of us up with Ms. Suraya?
66
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,980
Don't you think she's a little too old?
67
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,240
I prefer "seasoned."
68
00:02:45,270 --> 00:02:46,940
And you should be so lucky.
69
00:02:46,950 --> 00:02:49,610
- Mm...
- Um...
70
00:02:49,620 --> 00:02:52,230
Suraya is a professional matchmaker.
71
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,089
Well, thanks, but I'm good.
72
00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,468
In fact, I canceled a
date just to be here.
73
00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:59,719
Okay, well, Marty?
74
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,974
This cobbler's great. Okay.
75
00:03:01,990 --> 00:03:03,060
- I'm interested.
- Yeah!
76
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,840
- Yes!
- Of course you are.
77
00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:06,419
- It's the magic of the cobbler.
- Mm-hmm.
78
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:08,640
Well, that, and whatever
I'm doing isn't working.
79
00:03:08,670 --> 00:03:10,760
I need a date for my
ten-year high school reunion.
80
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:13,040
And I'm not gonna be the
only single guy there again.
81
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,690
It'll be like prom night all over.
82
00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:18,150
So, Ms. Suraya, sign me up.
83
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,770
- Okay.
- Oh! Thank you, Jesus!
84
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:23,160
There's hope for grandbabies yet.
85
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:26,020
Just have a girl first, and then
you can have whatever you want.
86
00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:30,650
Hey, honey. How was your day?
87
00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:32,580
- Long.
- Oh.
88
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,420
Mine, too. We've been
working way too hard lately.
89
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,499
Yeah, I know. I mean,
I don't even remember
90
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,178
the last time we sat
on this couch together.
91
00:03:39,179 --> 00:03:41,764
Well, you're here now.
We can finally catch up.
92
00:03:41,770 --> 00:03:43,279
- So tell me, how was your day?
- Mom...
93
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,540
- Well...
- Dad.
94
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,978
I just remembered I didn't do
my book report on Tom Sawyer.
95
00:03:48,780 --> 00:03:50,690
Okay, well, when's it due?
96
00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:51,940
Tomorrow.
97
00:03:51,950 --> 00:03:54,560
Oh, no.
98
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:56,560
Ugh. I'll help you. Where's the book?
99
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,650
The library.
100
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,360
Come on, Grover.
101
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,650
Sorry, hon. We'll catch up this weekend.
102
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,080
- Hey, Suraya!
- (LAUGHING)
103
00:04:07,090 --> 00:04:08,940
So, did you find Marty a wife yet?
104
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,119
It's been 24 hours.
105
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,420
Oh. Come in.
106
00:04:13,430 --> 00:04:16,420
Tina, Marty's a major project.
107
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,920
Give the lady another 20 minutes, okay?
108
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:22,200
I have chosen a special group of women,
109
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,139
and these are their biodatas.
110
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:26,760
They are like headshots
and résumés in one.
111
00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:29,050
Okay, well, you got anybody
in there that can cook?
112
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,560
'Cause I need somebody to make
me some crab cakes for a change.
113
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:34,890
And I need somebody that's into sports.
114
00:04:34,910 --> 00:04:37,270
Any of these ladies come
with the NFL package?
115
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,400
Oh, Marty doesn't care about that.
116
00:04:39,410 --> 00:04:41,560
The boy tried to dribble a football.
117
00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:44,540
I checked for astrological
compatibility,
118
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:47,180
and I ran background checks to
make sure they're not psycho.
119
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,789
And this is my top pick.
120
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,880
(LAUGHING)
121
00:04:50,910 --> 00:04:53,749
Fatemeh Samuel. Oh, she's Ethiopian,
122
00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,720
and she's an interior designer.
123
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:56,960
- Very nice.
- Mm-hmm.
124
00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:59,980
Yeah, she's also very,
very nice looking.
125
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,640
Back off of Marty's future wife.
126
00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:04,179
You know what? I...
127
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:06,380
I-I kind of like this girl better.
128
00:05:06,410 --> 00:05:07,760
Asha Patel.
129
00:05:07,770 --> 00:05:11,260
Says she makes six figures,
and she works for Jet Blue.
130
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,920
Can somebody say companion pass?
131
00:05:13,940 --> 00:05:16,270
Welcome to the family, Asha.
132
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,139
- Please, I have a process here.
- (OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
133
00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:20,319
This is much more
complicated than it seems.
134
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,080
No. Wait, wait. I found the winner.
135
00:05:22,090 --> 00:05:24,810
This one just graduated,
and she's a doctor.
136
00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:26,050
- Mm.
- Now I can stop googling
137
00:05:26,070 --> 00:05:27,520
- every time I sneeze.
- (LAUGHS)
138
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:30,620
- Did you say "just graduated"?
- Yeah.
139
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,880
No, she probably still got
medical school loans.
140
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,332
We can't let her mess up our credit.
141
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:35,439
- That's a good point.
- Yeah, no, no.
142
00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:37,079
- We don't want...
- Excuse me! Excuse me.
143
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,380
Why don't you leave this
144
00:05:38,410 --> 00:05:40,215
to a professional? Yes?
145
00:05:41,840 --> 00:05:44,459
Yeah, Malcolm. What you got
over here? Let me see that.
146
00:05:44,460 --> 00:05:46,096
Wait, wait, wait. What's wrong with her?
147
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,681
What's wrong with her?
148
00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:49,010
What's wrong with you?
149
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,851
- What?
- Look at those ears.
150
00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:53,270
That's nothing that a haircut can't fix.
151
00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:55,870
Uh, Ma, just because Marty likes hobbits
152
00:05:55,890 --> 00:05:57,356
don't mean he want to date one.
153
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,026
TINA: All right.
154
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,930
Wait. This one is not so bad.
155
00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:02,210
- Okay.
- No. Look.
156
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:04,240
Do you think we can get
her to trim her mustache?
157
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:05,640
Oh...
158
00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:07,242
Suraya, do... ?
159
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:10,620
- Suraya?
- Damn.
160
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,914
Did Suraya leave without saying goodbye?
161
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,374
Well, that's just rude.
162
00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:18,830
How do I look?
163
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:23,830
Like a steamy, hot cup of
coffee that just woke me up.
164
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,040
(LAUGHS)
165
00:06:25,050 --> 00:06:26,261
Ew.
166
00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:29,800
I decided to turn the heat up a notch
167
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:31,840
since we haven't had a
date night in a while.
168
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:35,312
Well, I think you broke the thermometer.
169
00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:39,450
Maybe you didn't hear me. Ew!
170
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:40,930
(SCOFFS)
171
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,310
I hope the sitter gets here soon.
172
00:06:44,330 --> 00:06:46,990
The restaurant only gives
a 15-minute grace period.
173
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,070
Well, you can go. Don't worry.
I'm old enough to watch myself.
174
00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:53,160
Just leave your credit card,
you know, for... emergencies.
175
00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:56,910
Oh, yeah, sure, and why
don't we leave the door open,
176
00:06:56,930 --> 00:06:58,210
and the keys on the table?
177
00:06:58,230 --> 00:07:00,080
And I'll unlock the liquor cabinet, too.
178
00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:02,422
You could have just said "no," Dad.
179
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,770
(PHONE CHIMES)
180
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:07,580
No, no, no, no, no, no!
The sitter just canceled!
181
00:07:07,590 --> 00:07:08,910
Donna? Why?
182
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,120
Her boyfriend broke up with her.
183
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:13,990
- Oh, not Troy.
- Uh-huh.
184
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,090
He was the star quarterback.
185
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,563
Well, what happened?
186
00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:21,910
Something about them not
spending enough time together.
187
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,870
Great! Let's have a Monopoly marathon.
188
00:07:24,890 --> 00:07:26,430
I call the shoe!
189
00:07:26,450 --> 00:07:28,750
Ugh.
190
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,750
- I'm gonna go put on my PJs.
- Yeah.
191
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,940
I'll go unlock the liquor cabinet.
192
00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:36,540
TINA: Marty is going to be so upset.
193
00:07:36,550 --> 00:07:38,500
How do we tell him that
his matchmaker quit?
194
00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:40,590
I was going to tell him like this.
195
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,910
Marty, your matchmaker quit.
196
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,080
(MUTTERS)
197
00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:47,950
Wow, Pop. You are all heart.
198
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,870
Just full of compassion over there.
199
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,300
Look, I'm just saying, back in my day,
200
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,970
you didn't need a matchmaker.
201
00:07:53,980 --> 00:07:56,759
If you liked a girl,
you told her friend.
202
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,438
Her friend would let you
know if she liked you.
203
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,060
Then, y'all would meet at the lockers
204
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,399
in the hallway or something like that.
205
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,350
What I'm saying is that it was simple.
206
00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:09,120
(LAUGHS) Guys, I was
just on Suraya's website,
207
00:08:09,140 --> 00:08:12,150
and she has a 99% success rate.
208
00:08:12,170 --> 00:08:14,329
I'm definitely bringing a plus-one
to my ten-year reunion,
209
00:08:14,330 --> 00:08:17,870
and I'm gonna have two kids
for my 20th. (LAUGHS)
210
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,110
(SNIFFING) Mm. Mm.
211
00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:21,500
Y'all smell smoke?
212
00:08:22,310 --> 00:08:23,330
Tina...
213
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:24,870
I'm gonna help Mama put that fire out.
214
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,840
You know, son, it's, um, never wise
215
00:08:30,850 --> 00:08:32,971
to put all your faith in one person.
216
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,730
- Oh, no. No, you're right.
- Yeah.
217
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,810
Which is why I'm only putting
99% of our faith in her, okay?
218
00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:42,647
Yeah. About that.
Um, Suraya... she, uh...
219
00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:44,483
Did she find my match already?
220
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,070
Well, the truth is, we
haven't heard from her.
221
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,699
Okay, well, I'll just
call her to check in.
222
00:08:50,700 --> 00:08:52,440
Okay, Marty, hold on.
223
00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:57,400
Look, um, the honest truth is, she quit.
224
00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:59,690
What? Why?
225
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,800
I don't know.
226
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:03,460
Probably something your mama said.
227
00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,220
You know her, you know how she is.
228
00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:09,480
Yeah, well, I'll never meet my girl.
229
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,540
What are you talking about?
230
00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:14,520
Of course you will.
231
00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:16,040
Dad, you don't get it.
232
00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:18,420
You met Mom when you
were in your early 20s.
233
00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:22,000
You don't know what it's like
to be my age and still dating.
234
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,680
I'm tired of getting dressed
up and paying for dinners
235
00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,650
for it all to go nowhere.
236
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:28,900
Well, son, I told you before,
237
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:30,650
you should start with coffee dates.
238
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:31,900
Huh?
239
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,190
Look, Marty, you're gonna
meet someone, all right?
240
00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:37,570
You're an amazing dude.
241
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:40,000
Oh, yeah? Then why am I still single,
242
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:42,400
living with my brother,
next door to my parents?
243
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,640
Damn.
244
00:09:44,660 --> 00:09:47,400
That sounds like the
saddest blues song ever.
245
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:53,030
Well, I'm gonna head home and
get under my weighted blanket
246
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,011
so I know what it feels
like to be cuddled.
247
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,200
I was wrong.
248
00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:02,900
That sounded like the
saddest blues song ever.
249
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:06,310
Oh.
250
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:08,620
Well, how did Marty take the news?
251
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,900
Not well. Thanks.
252
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,320
I think we're gonna have
to fill in for Suraya.
253
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:18,360
Otherwise, in a few days, Marty
might be married to a blanket.
254
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:25,220
What about two weeks from Friday?
255
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,000
Oh, we can't. We have
to meet our accountant.
256
00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:29,160
- Ugh.
- What about the Saturday after that?
257
00:10:29,940 --> 00:10:31,880
Grover's swim team awards ceremony.
258
00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:34,860
Oh. Well, I guess we'll
just have to wait a month
259
00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:35,880
for our next date night.
260
00:10:37,420 --> 00:10:39,220
You know, I was really looking forward
261
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,720
to spending some
one-on-one time with you.
262
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:44,186
I don't want to lose the
spice in our relationship.
263
00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:46,540
Ugh. Me, either, but at this rate,
264
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,260
we're not gonna have a date night
till after Grover goes to college.
265
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:52,360
Or the military, 'cause
he's going somewhere.
266
00:10:53,590 --> 00:10:56,865
You know, maybe it's not
about planning alone time.
267
00:10:56,870 --> 00:10:58,800
Maybe it's about taking advantage
268
00:10:58,810 --> 00:11:00,744
of the moments that we do have together.
269
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,414
Maybe. Oh, can you grab some salsa?
270
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:24,310
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
271
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:28,188
(WITH SPANISH ACCENT): Are you alone?
272
00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:31,830
No, I'm with my husband.
273
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:33,526
Dave, what are you doing?
274
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:34,790
Dave? Who is this Dave?
275
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,947
I have never heard of any Dave.
276
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,869
My name is Señor Victor Gonzalez.
277
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:45,710
(LAUGHS QUIETLY)
278
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,740
And I am a spy who has
just met the hottest woman
279
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,590
that I have ever seen in my entire life.
280
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,130
(LAUGHS)
281
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:56,299
And I heard you are
looking for some spice.
282
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,760
(LAUGHS)
283
00:11:58,780 --> 00:12:00,670
You're so silly, Dave.
284
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:03,200
Dave? Again, I do not
know who this "Dave" is.
285
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,434
You may call me Victor.
286
00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:09,729
And you are?
287
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,358
I'm... Ginger.
288
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:18,863
(BRITISH ACCENT): I'm...
Dr. Ginger Teagarten...
289
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,090
... a brilliant archeologist,
290
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,100
who's only in town for one night
291
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:34,420
before flying off to Egypt
in search of the... lost ark.
292
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,040
Well, Dr. Teagarten, I need to make sure
293
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,130
that you are not stealing
government secrets.
294
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:43,300
Oh.
295
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:47,475
So I'm afraid I'm going to need
to, uh, strip-search you.
296
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:58,028
But I only have 30 minutes before
I'm expected back at the... museum.
297
00:12:58,030 --> 00:13:00,690
- This is not a problem, Dr. Teagarten.
- Oh?
298
00:13:00,710 --> 00:13:03,992
That is 25 more minutes
than I will need.
299
00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:05,660
Let's go.
300
00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:11,700
I don't know why we're
feeding all these people
301
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:15,270
when the only woman that
matters is the one that I chose.
302
00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:19,600
We had to make it look like a mixer,
so the women don't know
303
00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:21,842
that they're here to compete
for a date with Marty.
304
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,471
Um, and I think it's good that
he thinks he has lots of choices
305
00:13:24,472 --> 00:13:27,223
before he realizes that my girl is best.
306
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:30,380
Right, 'cause I'm sure
what Marty's looking for
307
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,812
is a girl picked out by
his mama and daddy.
308
00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:36,890
Now, trust me, the lady I selected...
309
00:13:36,910 --> 00:13:38,568
she gonna win, hands down.
310
00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:43,031
Oh, you look sharp.
311
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:44,450
(LAUGHS)
312
00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:48,850
Oh, look at you, baby.
You look so extremely handsome,
313
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,190
except those eyebrows.
314
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,999
- I don't know what is going on there.
- Okay. All right.
315
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,449
- Let me just put them...
- Okay, come on. No, no, no.
316
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,900
I'm just trying to hook him up.
317
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:57,520
- Okay.
- All right, son,
318
00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:58,740
there's plenty of women here.
319
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,360
- All right, look around.
- Yeah. Okay.
320
00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:01,880
And then you make your choice.
321
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:03,240
- Okay.
- Starting with that one.
322
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,340
All right, I'm going in.
323
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:10,934
- Wish me luck.
- Oh, yeah.
324
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,480
(QUIETLY): Tippy toe.
325
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:17,160
I mean, they keep winning, but
they're not gaining any ground.
326
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:21,460
I mean, the team is hitting,
but the problem is the bullpen.
327
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,400
And they need to sit Jansen.
328
00:14:23,410 --> 00:14:25,030
His ERA is like a zip code.
329
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,780
(LAUGHS) I-I have no idea
what any of that means.
330
00:14:30,830 --> 00:14:32,370
Give her a chance, son, all right?
331
00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:34,650
She has season tickets to the Dodgers.
332
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,240
(CLEARS THROAT)
333
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:40,820
Well, Lindsey, I do hope they get
those bulls back in their pen.
334
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:43,160
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- That was...
335
00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:45,260
All right. You look a little thirsty.
336
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,469
There's a nice girl over
by the punch bowl.
337
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,240
Oh, actually, is there
some coconut water?
338
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,265
Just go!
339
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:55,150
So, "Pasadena's only musical baker."
340
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:56,479
What does that even mean?
341
00:14:56,490 --> 00:14:59,100
- Well, let me show you.
- Oh, okay.
342
00:14:59,110 --> 00:15:02,810
♪ I add flour and butter
and sprinkle sugar on top ♪
343
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:06,350
♪ Zing goes the oven in
my karaoke cake shop. ♪
344
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:07,407
Yeah.
345
00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:14,239
- Marty, meet Ariel.
- Oh, it's the bachelor.
346
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,650
Well, I got to admit, she is pretty.
347
00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:18,090
She all right.
348
00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:22,070
Ooh, here's the bachelor!
349
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:23,730
Dope or nope?
350
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,150
What do you think, Ariel Nation?
351
00:15:25,170 --> 00:15:26,740
Leave your comments below.
352
00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:29,970
Girl, who are you talking to?
353
00:15:32,370 --> 00:15:35,059
My 200,000 followers.
354
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,730
Yes. Ariel is an influencer, Okay?
355
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,230
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
356
00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:43,610
She's also a thrill seeker.
357
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,980
She's bungee jumping
Yosemite Falls next week.
358
00:15:45,990 --> 00:15:48,020
Ah. You should come!
359
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,282
Girl, I would love to.
360
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:52,430
I mean, uh, you-you should go.
361
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:54,871
Y-Yeah, 'cause that's how this works.
362
00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,430
(MARTY CHUCKLES)
363
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,150
Uh, uh, well,
364
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,129
my two biggest fears are heights
and drowning, so no thanks.
365
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,610
Oh. Uh, adventure sports are
a really big part of my life.
366
00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:09,450
Yeah, well, you know, I look
both ways on a one-way street.
367
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:10,512
(LAUGHS)
368
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,347
Well, it was nice meeting you.
369
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:13,920
What? Uh...
370
00:16:15,860 --> 00:16:19,430
Well, I think Ariel is great,
okay? I would pick her.
371
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,520
(CLEARS THROAT) I mean,
he should pick her, okay?
372
00:16:21,530 --> 00:16:23,600
I'm-a go talk to him. Marty?
373
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:25,810
Marty?
374
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,399
Well, did he leave?
375
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,550
People keep leaving
without saying "goodbye."
376
00:16:30,570 --> 00:16:32,100
It's rude.
377
00:16:32,110 --> 00:16:34,990
I'm starting to think
it's a societal issue.
378
00:16:37,990 --> 00:16:40,490
Grover is finally asleep.
379
00:16:40,510 --> 00:16:44,045
Honey, today you have
shown me two things.
380
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:46,110
We'll never lose our spice
381
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,580
- because you keep things interesting.
- (CHUCKLES)
382
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:52,410
And the backseat of our Prius
is way bigger than I thought.
383
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,190
See? Aren't you glad we sprung
for the leather seats?
384
00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:57,520
Mm-hmm.
385
00:16:57,530 --> 00:17:02,100
Well, if you ever bump
into Victor Gonzales again,
386
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:07,730
tell him he has an open invite
to visit Dr. Ginger in Luxor.
387
00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:09,899
Really?
388
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,399
Mm-hmm.
389
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,449
- I'll let him know.
- Good.
390
00:17:14,820 --> 00:17:18,239
(SPANISH ACCENT):
Buenas noches, señorita.
391
00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:21,670
- It is I, Victor Gonzalez.
- Mm.
392
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:24,290
I have traveled a great distance,
393
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,754
- but I'm afraid I must strip-search you again.
- (GASPS)
394
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,310
(WITH ACCENT): Again?
395
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:31,009
Well, if you must, señor.
396
00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:33,330
Ooh, I must, Dr. Ginger.
397
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:36,750
You see, you might be
smuggling contraband.
398
00:17:36,770 --> 00:17:38,030
Oh.
399
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:40,380
- Mom? Dad?
- Mm.
400
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,930
Yeah.
401
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:44,890
I can't sleep. Can I watch some TV?
402
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,369
(WITH SPANISH ACCENT):
Of course you can, but...
403
00:17:46,370 --> 00:17:48,350
(CLEARS THROAT)
404
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:51,020
(NORMAL VOICE): Come on, buddy.
Of course. Come sit down.
405
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:54,770
All right.
406
00:17:56,470 --> 00:17:59,412
So, uh, who's Dr. Ginger?
407
00:18:03,690 --> 00:18:06,670
Marty, what are you doing out here?
408
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,770
(SIGHS)
409
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:11,382
Mama, I don't have anything in
common with any of those girls.
410
00:18:12,430 --> 00:18:13,970
Baby, we're sorry.
411
00:18:13,990 --> 00:18:16,554
We just wanted to help
you find a great match.
412
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,830
Yeah, well, you did.
413
00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:21,100
We did? Which one?
414
00:18:21,110 --> 00:18:24,180
No, I meant, you found the
perfect matches for yourselves.
415
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:28,710
Lindsey is into the Dodgers, like Dad.
416
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:31,600
And Denise is into singing
and baking, like Mom.
417
00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:34,290
And Ariel is really into Malcolm.
418
00:18:37,930 --> 00:18:39,319
TINA: You know,
419
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,450
baby, you're right. We were too focused
420
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,207
on looking for the
qualities that we like.
421
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,793
Yeah. Instead of those
that appeal to you.
422
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,830
Yeah, well, on the bright side,
423
00:18:49,850 --> 00:18:52,770
you did help me figure
out what I don't want.
424
00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:55,810
You know, sure, it would be nice
to take someone to my reunion,
425
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:59,750
but after tonight, I realize...
426
00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:03,180
I want what you two have.
427
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:06,540
And instead of rushing it, I'm...
428
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,810
I'm willing to wait until
I find the right girl.
429
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:12,210
Well, you do that, you know,
because I get it now, you know?
430
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:14,390
These little heifers out
here are something else.
431
00:19:14,410 --> 00:19:16,570
- Ah.
- Yeah.
432
00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:21,850
But what I do know... when
that special someone finds you,
433
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:25,480
she is going to be a very lucky woman.
434
00:19:25,490 --> 00:19:26,874
Well, I can't wait to meet her.
435
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,430
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
- Don't worry, son. She's out there.
436
00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:31,754
Just not in that car.
437
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:44,660
Hmm.
438
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,970
(WITH NEW YORK ACCENT): Uh... pardon me.
439
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:52,920
You are one of the most attractive women
440
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:55,653
that I have ever seen in my entire life.
441
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,590
Do I know you?
442
00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:01,640
You do not.
443
00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:05,455
But your mother's gonna love me.
444
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,179
Well, thank you, but
I've got to get to court.
445
00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:10,668
I've got a big case to try.
446
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:14,170
Wow. Uh, wicked.
447
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,132
- You're a lawyer?
- Mm.
448
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:17,890
'Cause I got a record.
449
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,093
Okay, Dave, this isn't working
for me. Go back to Victor.
450
00:20:22,094 --> 00:20:23,550
Okay, all right, um...
451
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,490
(WITH SPANISH ACCENT):
Buenas noches, señorita.
452
00:20:34,290 --> 00:20:38,560
Victor Gonzalez never
strays too far away.
453
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:39,770
Mm.
454
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:42,940
- I will see you in the car.
- Okay.
455
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:44,470
Ooh. Un momento.
456
00:20:47,170 --> 00:20:49,429
- Dave, eggs aren't sexy.
- (NORMAL VOICE): No, I know. We're out.
457
00:20:49,430 --> 00:20:51,570
- I need them for the morning.
- Oh.
458
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:56,580
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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