All language subtitles for This.Games.Called.Murder.2021.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

This game is called Bedtime.

Close your eyes.

Relax.

See a dog

floating over your head.

Make the dog blue.

Now, make it green.

Now, make it purple.

Make the dog as big
as the universe.

Now, make the dog
as tiny as a dot.

Big as the universe.

Tiny as a dot.

Big as the universe,

tiny as a dot.

Open your eyes.

Chase the dog.

Are you ready girls?

Get that cannon ready.

We're going to blow
this guy away.

This was beautiful.

You're a genius!

Everything looks
beautiful, my love.

But I couldn't have done it
without your support, my pet.

- Mwah.
- Mwah.

Go on. Get out,
get out, get out.

On it, Mr. Wallendorf.

- Want to play a game?
- No.

Yes.

I don't know.

Well,

that sounds like a nifty game,

but I had something
else in mind.

It's called Flip Flop.

Put yourself

in a field.

See the sun setting.

See rainbows,

clouds.

Don't worry. He'll be fine.

I believe in God.

Blessings.

I love you, Mrs. Wallendorf.

You're such a good person.

Thank you for such
a satisfying life.

You're a very good person.

How do you feel?

Wonderful.

- So beautiful.
- Mm.

I'm going to play
a different game.

This here one is called

Mumbo Jumbo.

- This is like a movie.
- Cut.

We can't win
by playing not to lose.

Quick, let's all do
lots of angel powder.

That'll turn on your automatic
success mechanism.

Look at him.

He's good for nothing.

These ugly motherfuckers just
have big life insurance policies.

They always have, like,
five babies that need it.

We want
the red Wallendorf shoes,

and his family wants the money
from his life insurance.

We are as pure as the snow
on the roof of a convent.

Pass me my bow.

Look at him, Rebecca.

You got to watch him die.

Ooh, nice shot, Cynthia.

All of you, let's find the GPS
tracking system and make it quick.

If it's portable, I want to activate
it and leave it on this big body.

Sorry not sorry.

Go. Go!

We've got one tracking system
only and it's attached.

Okay, wait
before you destroy it,

we got to be ready to put
the pedals to the metal

the second that you fry it.

Got it.

What the f...

- Is she okay?
- What the fuck!

What the...

Fuck!

It's fucking instant ramen.

It was supposed to be
Wallendorf shoes.

How did this happen?

Well, that's just
empty calories.

Are we even the criminals
in this situation?

What do we do now?

- Just leave it?
- No.

We have to get rid of it.

- How's life?
- Gets better with every step.

Sir, we've been doing
extensive marketing research

and we think it's more than a
good time to expand our product

beyond only manufacturing
red high-heeled women's shoes.

Sir, your talents as an artist and
a designer are globally renowned.

Everybody wants more from you
than just red shoes.

You guys try the new garlic
chicken fries over at Annabelle's?

Mm, mm, mm.

That is the finest shit
I've had in years.

To be honest, I haven't been
to Annabelle's in year, sir.

Why not?

What's wrong with Annabelle's?

Oh,

don't tell me.

You two are just a couple
of bark eating little vegans.

Nope, nope. That's a negative.

Neither am I, sir.

Well,

either of you seen my daughter
in the last couple of days?

No, sir.

Should we, um,

deploy the rangers?

Where to?

Your apartment?

Sir, your daughter is
definitely not in my apartment.

How do I know that?

You said you were a hot-blooded
carnivore just a second ago.

And I'm also
a happily married man.

Well, who isn't?

You know what? Just go get my
daughter and bring her back here.

And then we talk about how my fashion
dominance skills are needing to improve.

- Yes, sir.
- Yes, sir.

And try the chicken fried steak
over at Annabelle's,

and then we'll talk about
product development.

Yeah, yeah.

- Hey, cheers.
- Hey, cheers.

So, you grew up in a restaurant
like this one?

It was similar.

My mom and dad
and my uncle ran it.

Kind of like
your family business,

except from mine was
just a cool restaurant.

I was helping in the kitchen since
before I could reach the stove.

That... sounds cool.

Everything kind of sounds cool,
but it's really hard work.

That's why I ended up
the way I am now.

- I got no heat in the heart.
- Oh.

If I cut you,

would you feel it?

Nobody likes me. Not even you.

Yes.

You didn't hear what I said,
did you?

What?

Are you even listening to me?
Do... Does anyone?

What are you trying
to say to me right now?

I said, nobody likes me,
and you said "yes".

Of course I like you.

- Why?
- Why not?

Oh my God, mom,
it's Jennifer Wallendorf.

I know sweetie but it's...

it's rude to stare, so just...

Hi.

- Come on.
- Sorry.

Okay.

That was great. Alright.

Fuck, I got spotted.

- What's this?
- It's no big deal,

it just makes you faster.

What, like a superhero?

Exactly like a superhero.

Not wearing heels, are you?

Can I clear away some
of these empty plates?

Yeah, uh, yeah.

We'll just have two pieces
of banana cream pie.

À mode.

À la mode.

Of course.

- You remember the route?
- Yeah.

Now, you were right
about that pill.

I feel like a race car.

- What kind?
- I don't care.

So are we going to do this or
just start talking really quickly?

Let's go.

Fuck you!

Whoa. Hey, hey!

- Go, go now.
- Get back here!

Stop!

Little fuckers!

Get back here, goddammit!

Go, go.

Wallendorf!

Wait!

Oh, hey, don't kill him.

Quiet, he's fat.

Does fat mean
he deserves to be hurt?

Obesity is the number one
killer in the country.

Even if you combine war
and all disease.

Keep my face out of the frame
with that thing.

I'm not going
to frame your face.

Don't kill him though.

This guy is like a whale.

He can take a bat
to the stomach.

Oh fu... Oh my God.

What... hey ya...

Goodbye.

Why...?

Okay, roll down your window.

Unbuckle your seat belt
right after we hit the water.

Get ready to swim out.

Okay.

Ready.

Is that hidden enough?

- Yeah.
- Great.

I mean, I would've wanted
it to go under more, but

doesn't make a difference now.

No one's going to find
it here anyway.

Makes about as much
sense as anything else.

We could firebomb that.

Would draw attention. Okay.

Let's go back to the house
and find the girls.

- Sounds good.
- Okay.

Oh, hell.
Cane brought Jennifer. How cool is that?

- Hi, Stew.
- Hello, Jennifer Wallendorf.

Knock it off.
Hey, can I get a pint of straight whiskey?

Sure thing.

It's quite a drink, little lady.

Cane, Cane. Oh, beautiful Cane,
thank God you're here.

It is complete anarchy
in the kitchen. I mean,

we're just trying to make big pots
of the simple potato and beet soup,

a little bit of veggies,
and these guys are just fucking it up

in ways that I can't
even describe.

Okay, man,
I'll come help out in a sec.

- Let me just grab a quick drink.
- Thank you. You are a saint.

I'm sorry. One second. What
the fuck are you doing?

Hey Stew, I'll just have
a shot of that.

Don't. What the fuck?
Look at this...

Look at this.
Does that look good to you?

It's fucking disgusting.
Do it again.

Jennifer, take it easy
with that whiskey.

I got to help in the kitchen.

I am taking it easy.

Go do your thing.

Okay, okay,
relax, people. Relax.

Everybody stay calm.

...it goes in the peel,
you slice it...

...so much, I swear to God.

- Stew, can I get another?
- Of course, but

I honestly think two pints of whiskey
is going to make you fall down again.

Stew, can you just let me live?

Cut, you don't kill the flavors,
it's going to...

Alright, chicken broth,
people, chicken broth.

Let's get some chicken broth.

Hi, girls, what did
you get up to tonight?

- Scanner?
- Pleasure.

- Hmm.
- To be honest,

it wasn't the best
evening so far.

We... we... we've
been keeping busy.

- What about you?
- Hmm.

Cane took me out to dinner.

- He can be such a doll.
- I know.

Well, love's the devil.

And so is Cane.

Wants some angel powder?

Oh yeah, put it
on the back of my hand.

Look at her go.

Jesus Christ.

Wow, that wasn't necessary.

What? Was she stuck

in a dark elevator
as a child or something?

Lean her against the wall,
so she doesn't choke in her own vomit.

Cane!

Oh, Cane?

Can you come get
your girlfriend?

I need a drink.

Where are my clothes?

Where is my purse?

Well, you've got
my shoe at least.

Well, your clothes
are right over there.

- There's vomit on them.
- Oh.

Okay.

Oh, wow. No.

Hey, come here.

How did I get so sick?

- You don't remember?
- Hmm, no.

Well, you downed two
straight pints of whiskey

and I tried to stop you.

Then you went into Cynthia's
ladies only room

and started snorting rails
and venting with the girls.

Mmm...

Why are you looking
at my shoe like that?

Don't tell me, like, you're
just one of those guys who

likes my dad's shoes
more than he likes me.

It's not like that.

I was checking out the shoe
and trying to figure things out.

Okay. So did you figure things out while
staring at my shoe while I was passed out?

Can you get me some champagne?

I just don't understand all the
conspiracy theories about your family.

Did you know there's a whole movement
where they believe your family are lizards?

- Mm-hmm.
- And you guys are trying to make the world hotter

because it's
your natural climate?

It's backed up with
mathematicians, scientists,

as well as former Wallendorf
shoes executives.

Well, do you think that's true?

I know you're not a lizard.

What's up with the red shoes?

Ugh...

It's information.

So, in order to get
the seven-year

unlimited replacement warranty,

you have to give
Wallendorf shoes access

to all of your personal
information and everything else.

Once my father has access to
someone's personal information,

he can categorize their whole
life in less than a paragraph.

How much you're willing
to spend on a sandwich

or how much you're willing
to spend on a cup of coffee,

and then he'll get
you to spend more

or influence your behavior

based off of your
personality type.

That's just as crazy
as the lizard thing.

Well, nobody wants
to believe that their life

can become less than a syllable
in under a second.

Madness.

Ooh, yeah, definitely.

Hey, there's no cameras
allowed in here.

Yeah, I know.

This is an antique
Polaroid camera.

It's untraceable.

You want me to take some
pictures of you with this thing?

Hm, exactly.

Alright.

Ah, cool, you're not dead.

I think I'm alive.

Mostly because of this
feeling of terminal love.

Well, did you ever
wake up feeling like

you're looking out a window

at a beautiful beach
with the wind in your hair?

- Yeah.
- Well,

Mitch thinks
we drank all of his beer

and destroyed his motorcycle.

He's been saying it
for over a week

and won't back down,

so now Cynthia has to fight him.

Mitch, Mitch, Mitch!

I am the king. King!

That guy is huge.

I am the crusher.

This isn't your dad's tower,
princess.

Someone's about to get hurt
because of living space and food.

Nothing around here is just
about beer or motorcycles.

- Uhh...
- Clean as usual.

- How's the champagne?
- Cool. It's pretty clean, too.

- Okay, you guys want to grab some breakfast real quick?
- Yeah, go get some food.

I will just make some
breakfast burritos real quick.

Be right back.

- Nice shoes.
- Yeah?

Are... are you patronizing me?

Do rich people eat breakfast?

Or are you guys living
off of champagne,

- nice shoes and jewelry?
- Yeah.

We just survive
off of champagne,

and then we name
fancy shoes after ourselves.

How does that not make sense?

- Huh?
- Oh, okay.

Well, Jennifer.

Can you just
get yourself together?

Why don't you just go marry
prince charming, little mermaid.

You just... look at me,
look at me.

Girls, kind of... this...
I'm going to talk.

So, here's the thing,

I've already taken
a private jet to the Bahamas

and pretty much everywhere else.

I've met, like,
ten Prince Charming's,

and they weren't
the least bit charming.

Half of them were not even
real princes. So bleh.

Why can't you just accept that,
like, maybe I am just as lost

if not, maybe a little... little
bit more lost than all you.

Fine. But can I just give you
some friendly advice

about chef boy Cane over there?

Yeah.

Don't get too attached,
sweetheart.

Thinking you can
hold on to Cane is like

thinking you can grab smoke.

Cynthia. Come on, Cynthia.

- Here you go, ladies. Fresh breakfast burritos.
- It's okay,

just sit there
and eat your breakfast

while I'm up here, ready to go.

- I don't eat food.
- It's...

- it's a private jet, just...
- I don't...

you don't eat private jets.

[exhales

Yeah. Get it on. Get it on.

And fight.

- Get him!
- Cynthia!

You squirmy little worm,
I will crush you flat.

Get him!

Get here, girl,
I'm gonna do you dirty.

Get here. Oh, yeah.

Oh, goddamn!

Gonna rip your legs off, bitch!

- Cynthia, yeah!
- Come on, come on, let's go, Cynthia!

Fire, prison, faster.

Come to papa.

I'm going to put
a stick on your thighs.

Gonna be dirty!

Help, help!

I'll kill you!

I'm gonna crush you
fucking flat.

Cynthia! Cynthia!

Come on!

You got no good.

I'm gonna crush you!

It's okay, Cynthia, you can do it.
Get up. Come on, let's go!

- Yes!
- Steal his breath.

Stop.

I give up. I was only joking.

I was getting...

Cynthia, come here, come on, you're
okay, you're okay. Come... come on.

Am I... am I alive?

- We got you.
- Where's Mitch?

- We won. The fights over.
- You did it.

I can't remember
the fight in my brain.

I think you're better off.

- It's okay.
- What?

- I think he's choking.
- Mitch is dead.

- Get it off. Get off.
- You killed that big guy.

They're not getting
this now, girl.

Come on, Mitch, get up.

- Come on, Mitch.
- Mitch, get up.

Chad, there's rumors
of you spending nights and days

in Mrs. Wallendorf room
with her and her maids.

- Mrs. Wallendorf and her maids, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

Don't go spreading rumors
like that about me.

You know, I'm loyal
to the Wallendorf family.

I only do...

what is asked.

I know, it's not me.

Rumors about you and Mrs.
Wallendorf are being spread on their own.

I thought you were my friend.

Rumors don't get
spread on their own.

Somebody spreads it.

I am your friend.

That's why I'm telling you
what everyone's talking about.

I don't want you to wind up being a lead
of one of Mr. Wallendorf commercials

because you have a problem
with self-control or something.

If you need to talk about it,
I'm here.

I'm not very chatty.

And everyone's lying.

Where's your precious truck?

I'm so sorry.

It's all my fault.

I'm going to find it soon.

But your plan was flawless,
and you believe in God.

Who would steal ramen?

There's no way anybody could
have known there was gold inside.

Ramen has the least spiritual,

monetary or sentimental value
of anything you can think of.

I dropped the ball.

I'm too busy for my pants.

So $1.6 billion dollars
worth of gold was untraceable.

It was completely my fault.

Someone inside the palace knows.

Must be an inside conspiracy.

You have to kill.

You have to torture
the senior staff,

it's your only option.

Ah...

There are always traitors.

That's the golden rule.

I'll kill.

I'll kill the staff.

Oh, they all believe in God.

They'll be blessed to leave
this world by my merciful hands.

Find out who
the conspirators are.

There's always lies and murder
when gold is on the line.

And always remember,

"Murder is plan A."

So you grew up in
a restaurant like this one?

I was helping in the kitchen
since before I could reach the stove.

I remember standing on a stool.

Anyway, my whole family
got murdered,

and the restaurant
was burned down.

So, here's your happy ending.

Wait, are you serious
about that?

Yeah.

- Chad?
- Hmm?

You've seen my daughter lately?

Nope.

Neither have I.

I suppose that makes
fucking three of us.

Get the rangers
looking for her, huh?

- Of course.
- I don't understand why we can't find her

with all the satellites and
the digital tracking machines.

She's constantly posting where
she is and what she's doing.

And I don't like it!

It's a disgrace.

She does things, like,

sets up devices
in different parts of the town.

It's as if she wants everyone to
know that she's somewhere else.

Sometimes we have rangers
deployed all over the city

and then your cook or
one of your maids finds her here

eating cereal or sleeping
in her room, you know?

- It's great.
- It's stupid.

It is, it is.

Just get her.

Bring her back to me.

Yes, sir.

Chad?

You got a point?

Or you just going to stare at me

like some weird
hungry vulture all night.

Sir, we believe
it's time to expand.

Beyond just the simple manufacturing
of women's red high-heeled shoes.

- Them here shoes?
- Right?

These here shoes?

These shoes are
overwhelming the planet.

Ain't nothing simple about
a pair of woman's shoes.

Are you okay, Jennifer?

Your father's been
looking for you.

Who asked you, doll face?

Okay.

- Here, let me help you.
- Batch, ba...

I strongly suggest you keep
your hands to yourself

unless you want to be the star
of my first murder mystery.

- I've got too many pots on my fire.
- Hey, hey, hey.

It's not all your fault,
Mrs. Wallendorf.

And I'm gonna find everything.

Trust.

Jennifer, Jennifer.

Where have you been?

Oh my God, sweetheart.

You're drunk.

Your hair is green,
and you're covered in vomit.

It's a wig, Mom.

But I'm gay,
and I'm leaving the church.

Your depression is only
due to negative thoughts.

If you just breathe
and stay loving God

and only have positive thoughts,

the whole world will
change around you.

I hate you.

Please get out of my life.

The heart of a mother
is a deep abyss,

at the bottom of which

always find forgiveness.

[Mrs. Wallendorf All of
the information was coded

and sent
through private satellites.

You can't depend
on technical error.

There are always traitors.

You should murder this one.

If the conspirators
start to disappear,

it will send a clear message
to the others,

and they'll start to talk.

Make them talk or die.

Either way, it's the best
thing for everyone.

Where's my ramen noodle soup?

I know that you know
where it is.

You have my ramen noodle
soup truck, don't you?

Mrs. Wallendorf, I don't know
anything about your ramen noodle soup.

- Don't you?
- What are you talking about?

Why... why... why do you care
about ramen noodle soup?

But... you're a... you're...
you're a good person.

Let me go now and...
and I will get you

the best ramen noodle soup
in the whole world.

Do you know how much
it will hurt

- to be shot in the cranium with a derringer?
- Oh, God.

The bullet will just rattle
around inside your skull.

It won't kill you right away.
No, it will just leave you there

with your brains shuffled
like a deck of cards

and stirred up like oatmeal.

Then you'll just choke
on your own blood.

Or maybe dehydrate.

Do you know that it
could take over 24 hours

for your spirit to leave this
meaningless meat that is your body?

Mrs.
Wallendorf, please don't shoot me.

This is crazy, over ramen?

I'll fly to Japan and... and
I'll... I'll... I'll get you the...

the most authentic ramen
from the finest chef in Tokyo.

Just let me go.

You... you're such a good person,

you're... you're such
a good person.

A violent death over ramen?

This is... This is unnecessary.

This is necessary.

This is necessary.

If you know anything about
history or religious scripture,

you would know that violence is
the most natural cause of death.

And since your death
is imminent,

I can say

we both know
this isn't about ramen.

- It's about gold.
- What?

What the hell
is she talking about?

So a violent death over gold...

Ramen is gold?

Well, that's not only natural,

it's necessary.

Can you talk?

You want me to put some mellow jazz on and
dance around naked for you while you die?

I'm happy to.

What?

What you're doing, pumpkin?

Told you not to come in here
with the door closed.

I told you not to call me
pumpkin anymore either.

Well, I... I didn't come in.
I'm just knocking.

Fine, whatever.
Come in. I don't care.

Holy shit.

Why do you insist
on having the entire world

see you in your underwear?

Is that necessary?

Holy shit!
Some of it's even nude.

You know, this is crazy.

Crazy!

You could be inviting stalkers,

kidnappers, creepy cyber daters.

I learned this from you.

This is what you do
with your models.

I'm just so much better at it.

I'm your most famous model
by ten hundred times.

I mean, without me,
sales would drop.

God, you think
everything is about you.

My fans love me.

You know, all the social media
is not really love.

And what are you doing with
rainbow-colored cheerios in your hair?

Is that some new "I'm the most
popular model in the world" look?

Yes.

And if you don't get it,

you just don't get it.

Oh, I get it.

No, you don't get it, Dad.

You don't get it at all.

Well, why don't you just explain
it to me then, pumpkin?

I'm talking about something that
you don't get or understand,

that's why I can't
explain it to you.

And stop calling me pumpkin.

My so-called renegade marketing
is just as important

as all the videos that you bombard people
with through your private satellite.

Can we take this
conversation downstairs?

Your mama had Becky in the
kitchen make amazing ramen

and it's topped
with white truffles,

gold leaf.

You had Becky in the kitchen
gold leaf your ramen noodle soup?

I mean, you know how
your mother is about food.

And look who's talking,

you got cereal in your hair.

What's that all about?

Whatever.

That ramen sounds crazy though,

I'm going to take
a picture of it.

And then I'm going to post it.

Pumpkin.

I can't stand those
bodybuilder guys.

We've already been through this.

Look, a locker in the gym is the
safest place to keep our computer.

Maybe it was the cheapest place.

You don't have to work out with those
people just to make it look casual.

It's like steroid cops asking me if I wanna
get a protein shake with a long shower.

Well, your girlfriend probably
appreciates that you're fit.

Let's just get to work.

Well, it looks like there's a truckload of
flat screen TVs coming into town tonight.

Are you sure they're
flat screen TVs?

I don't know how that ramen
noodle soup mix-up happened.

I honestly think there could have been
some other criminals involved or something.

Or maybe a computer glitch.

I don't want to hit
Wallendorf shipping again.

Okay, not right now.

I'm not stupid.

I'm not gonna put
you and your bandits

in more danger than I have to.

This is CBA freight systems
and flat screen TVs.

Look at it, it's right here.

Sounds good.

The CBA always has those

geo-fences
around their trucks.

I can just fry the whole system.

We're actually running
really low on food

and even basic ingredients
to make bread, so...

I know. Us... bandits are
hitting a supermarket for groceries.

- Great.
- And you and your finaglers.

can figure out how to safely
sell the electronics.

And get whatever else we need.

And then I am off for a while.

- That works.
- Ok.

Well, stare deeply
into the computer screen,

you got the ETA to memorize
and a location.

Got it.

Close your eyes, pumpkin.

You want to play a game?

Yes.

This game is called pumpkin.

Pumpkin.

Pumpkin.

Can I get you
something to drink?

Yeah. Can I, uh, have a mimosa?

Just a mimosa?

That'll be all.

Sure.

Thank you, Nathan.

I'm not Nathan.

Sorry, I..., uh...

I fell asleep last night
with the fan

aimed directly at my head.

Today everything looks and
sounds like I'm underwater.

Must have thought
you were someone else.

Well, she does things,
like, have, um, three devices

in different places around town,

and she sets them up to activate

and start posting things
at different times.

It's as if she wants
everyone to know

that she's somewhere else.
Somewhere else.

Somewhere else. Somewhere else.

- Would you like another?
- I'm fine, Nathan.

Didn't your mother ever tell
you not to sleep with the fan

pointing straight at your head?

You'd be lucky if
you don't catch the flu

or something.

Oh, Nathan.

Fuck you.

Would you wear these two
bracelets around your wrist,

drive around the block for about an
hour and then come back and get me?

Yes, ma'am. Happy to.

Thank you.

What are you wearing?

Look who's talking,
you're in a costume.

Uh, this isn't a costume.
It's a disguise.

What is the difference?

A costume, you wear for fun.

A disguise, you wear
for deception.

Coincidentally, I have
costumes in this suitcase.

What are the costumes for?

Your masquerade ball.

What did you think
they were for?

Are you inviting me to the
Wallendorf palace freak out thing

- that everyone talks about?
- I'm not inviting you.

I'm taking you.

Can you hand me those
bracelets back?

Of course, Miss Wallendorf.

What's this?

Tracking device.

- You have to wear it?
- Yes.

Is this dangerous?

Well, you can't have
an adventure

without an element of danger.

Besides, you seem to be the type who veers
more towards the dangerous side of things.

So...

Will you stop being so dramatic?

We're just sneaking into a party
at my parent's house.

I find it...

unlikely that they'd kill you,
even if they caught us.

Can you wait for us?
We should just be a couple of hours.

Yes, of course.

- Love the Wallendorf parties.
- I know.

Bracelets?

- Enjoy.
- Thank you.

That keeps our spirits up.

- Holy, this place is crazy.
- Is it?

I'm so hungover.

My brain is swollen.

Mine is too.

♪ Every curve was
a roller coaster ride ♪

♪ That took me right there
to the hell she had inside ♪

♪ She was fire ♪

Two whiskeys straight up.

Another round, please.

I love it when alcohol makes me go
from completely miserable and paranoid

to being forking confident
in under five seconds.

Me too.

- Give me your bracelet.
- Don't I need these?

My dad's tracking us
while we're wearing them.

So just give it to me, and we'll
make him think we're somewhere else.

I mean, he already knows I'm at
the bar with some guests anyway.

What do we have there?

Here we have some tuna
carpaccio for starters

and on the other side
we have quiche puffs.

I love quiche puffs.

There. That ought to buy us
a few hours.

Let's go.

Chocolate!

This is my dad's studio.

This is where he shoots
all of his commercials

and promotional photography
and everything, really.

Whoa!

You mean all that crazy
stuff in the commercials

with landscapes and

out on yachts
and giant ballrooms

really happens here?

That's what I just said.

- Can't he see us? Aren't there cameras everywhere?
- No.

He relies way more on tracking
systems than he does on cameras.

He can track people's
cell phones

and credit card chips

and other stuff like that.

Uh, he can even hear
what you're saying

if you're in the same room
as your cell phone.

And you can see through any
camera that's attached to a device

with internet capabilities.

Why on earth would he want
to do all that anyway?

Well, he takes
the conversations

and people's
personal information,

stores it in
his super computers,

and then computers
and the tech teams

figure out what people are
talking about.

And then they sell
that information off

to massive corporations
and to government agencies,

and then they easily influence people to
talk and think about whatever they want.

Why?

Money, religion,

world domination.

Well, that's scary.

- I don't want to talk about it.
- Yeah, most people don't.

That's why it works so well.

- You went back to Annabelle's?
- Yeah.

I can't even go there any more
without a disguise, thanks to you.

Hush.

Thank you, Mr. Wallendorf.
It's been our lifelong dream

- to model for you.
- Oh.

I'm... I'm not saying we're not
doing this just because it's cool,

but everyone you put
in your commercials

gets a hundred thousand
super fans, sponsors,

and, we're just trying
to express our gratitude, sir.

Pleasure is all mine, son,
the pleasure is all mine.

Uh, now, what I'd like
you to do is...

I'd like you to all get in front
of that green screen there

and, uh, make yourself a nice
little circle, alright?

Now, I want you all to...

What's happening?

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Now, this game is called Snafu.

- I think you...
- Don't talk.

- Don't even breathe.
- Thought it'd be a little hard...

Otherwise, my dad will kill you.

...to get along
without his head.

That's what I was trying to say
before you brought me here, princess.

What we're gonna do is we're
gonna take down all your parts

and then put them all
back together again.

Alright? Here we go.

Now, I want you
to take your legs

and put them all the way
on the other side of the group.

And then I want you
to take your torso

and put it on top of your leg.

And take your head
and put it on top of your neck.

Now, I would like you
to make a new body

right over here

to replace the old body.

You want to play snafu
with that body?

Good.

Now, make it two heads

and put them where the hands
are supposed to be

and take the hands and put them
where the head is supposed to be.

And now,

I want you to unshuffle

until all there is,

is one perfect body
unshuffled, with no name.

Now, I want you to take
those revolvers.

And I want you to cock them.

And I want you

to place them
directly up to the ear

of the body to your right.

And I am going
to count to three.

And I want you
to pull the trigger.

Alright.

And one,

two,

three.

Cut. Well, how did look?

- Was it beautiful?
- I've never seen anything like that.

My God.

We will organize this
footage to a symphony,

and then we'll broadcast it
at the stroke of midnight.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir!

That was pretty.

I knew it!

That's what rich people do.

Well, I... I don't do that.

Wait, did this make
you stop loving me?

Not sure if it made
me stop loving you.

Just made me stop
loving overall.

Look, my dad is
a particular individual.

I mean, he...
he can make people do anything.

Is your mom in on this?

She's... she's...
she's in on it.

Oh, do you want to go downstairs and get
another drink and then spy on my mom?

I know where we can see into
her room without a computer,

so no one can track us.

I think I want to have
two more drinks than go home.

You always do all the drugs.

That's not true.

Give me some
of the devil's dandruff.

Look at this guy, Cynthia.

You gotta shoot him
in the nuts, for sure.

Hey, you want it so bad,
Rebecca? You do it.

I don't know if I can get
a bullseye from here at all.

You've been doing pretty
good in target practice.

It's not nearly as hard a shot as
the ones who were making yesterday.

It's true. You never
missed the target once.

This is a far more technical shot
and his nuts are a moving target.

Just don't panic
or overthink it in your head.

Fuck!

Fuck me!

Damn, I know I'd miss, you guys
shouldn't have let me do that.

I wouldn't exactly
call that miss, now.

Look, are you gonna let him suffer
and draw attention, Rebecca?

Or are you going
to finish him off?

Can you just do it like normal?

- I'm shaking now.
- No!

This specimen is yours.

Do it.

Then I'm going to make a better
world for all you boys and girls.

Fuck.

This is so gross.
Can you just do it?

Oh, it gets addictive.

You'll probably start wanting
to do it again in a week.

I think I'm gonna get nightmares
for the rest of my life.

Yeah, that too.

- You did it!
- Alright. Let's go check out the truck,

and this better be flat screen
TVs like it's supposed to be.

Little does she know
her skin is gonna fall out.

Yeah, and then her hair
and her teeth will just follow.

So much blood.

- So many people.
- I know.

Their timing was impeccable.

- That was weird. That was really fucking weird.
- Don't worry about it.

You can't tell me
that wasn't weird.

I can't unsee what I just saw.

Well, I'm telling you
not to worry about it.

How do you not think
that was weird?

Are you really gonna spy on your mom,
or did you bring me in here for sex?

Ugh, don't talk about my mom
and sex at the same time.

That's gross.
Totally not a turn on.

Sorry, it's just
a really confusing position.

Pour some whiskey in my mouth.

Please, don't use
the power drill on me.

This is complete madness.

In a mad
world, only the mad are sane.

He's trying to convince
you that you're crazy.

Go away with him.

We both know that
you know why I have to do this to you.

No, no, no, no, no.

I could reschedule for next week
about drilling a hole in your brain,

but I'm sorry.
I'm just too busy for that.

It is what it is.

I dropped the ball,
too busy for my pants.

Mm, it's all my fault.

Many blessings.

Your mom is completely
out of her mind.

She's talking to herself. She's about
to drill a hole in that poor guy's head.

I know. Let's watch.

- You watch, I want to go home.
- Give me a sec.

I don't know anything about
your ramen noodle food truck.

- Yes, you do!
- No, I don't.

I'm feeling claustrophobic and
nauseous, can you take me home?

Look, it is completely up to you whether
or not you want to tell the truth.

Okay. You have the power
to do anything you want.

What do ramen packets have to do
with business or... or anything

I would even know about.

Mrs. Wallendorf.

No, no, no, no, no!

- Get me out of here.
- Hey...

Hey, don't panic, okay?

We can go back
to your place now.

You know, I'm actually kind
of sad that my mom killed Rick.

I've known him my whole life.

Oooh!

You guys look like you're getting
ready to do something exciting.

You guys look like
you just did something exciting.

Yeah. What's up
with the costumes?

I always knew rich people
were crazy, but I was wrong.

They're really,
really, really crazy.

We just came from my parent's
annual masked ball.

Exactly.
That shit was not normal.

I don't even know how to explain
what I just saw with words.

It does sound like something.

So, what are you guys
getting up to?

We're actually going
to hit up a supermarket.

- Can I come?
- You want to rob the supermarket with us?

And I want to see
this crazy...

fancy masked ball.

So I'll let you come
with us on this robbery.

If you bring me to your parent's
next party at their castle.

There's gonna be another crazy
party there in a few weeks

so we won't even have
to wait the whole year.

Cool.

Cane? Why don't you
go change into some normal clothes?

And Jennifer,
you can borrow some of ours.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Have you ever killed a man?
- No.

Not directly.

Well, there's this one
incident with one of my super fans,

and he said he would kill himself
if I didn't fly to his apartment

to give him a kiss.

Yeah, I know.

And then he hung
himself and posted it.

I think it would
be a lot cleaner

for your energy
if you just...

...killed someone directly.

Jennifer, take the machete
and go make your father proud.

Anyone with a heart
only tastes death once.

Just, uh,
skip on over there and, uh,

turn that security
guard into sashimi.

And he won't even recognize you're
a threat until it's too late.

Well, I'm... I'm... I'm scared.

In fact,
that guy probably has a gun.

Aw...

Cowards die many times
before their deaths.

What the fuck?

Good night.

Let's go.

Hit it again!

Hey, get off.

Cane, get out of my way.

Well,
that was a bit disorganized.

Whoa, yeeha!

Get it, like, meat, meat.

- Oh God, it's stuck!
- Go, giddiup.

Oh... Okay. Okay, cool.
Let's go, let's go.

What are you doing?
Why is your helmet off?

There's cameras everywhere.

You're so anxious to hit the ball
and so afraid that you won't,

you can't even see
the beauty of the fruit.

That looks pretty good.

That?

Wow.

Ah, it's good.

It's like an explosion
of flavors in my mouth.

What kind of steak is that?

- Good cows.
- Hm.

I think we should
hit a house next.

I don't do home invasions.
This is not cool.

I've tracked a handful
of people on social media.

They have, like,
$100,000 diamond rings

and crazy necklaces
and jewelry cases.

If you hit one of these houses,
I think we can make,

like, hundreds of thousands
of dollars. No joke.

Families are in houses.

Cane, women and children.

That's different
than the truck drivers,

security guards.

I understand about not
wanting to hurt any children.

But why no women?

You kill guys all the time.

Why wouldn't you kill a woman?

Staying away from women
and children is customary.

I think you just
like killing men.

- What?
- Killing men.

I think you've justified
it in your brain,

and you enjoy murdering men.

Mhm...

Cane, you've been
a missing person

since you were, like, nine.

If you disappeared,

it wouldn't even count

because you're already not here.

A lot of people like
to put stuff in their bags,

but I personally just
like to put more bags.

The great thing about this one
is you could fit a lot.

What are you drinking?

I just stick
to straight tequila.

I'm glad everyone's enjoying
all the fancy cocktails,

but fancy drinks make me sick.

Yeah, me too. Mm-hmm.

That's why I'm... I'm...
I'm drinking straight whiskey.

Straight whiskey.

I love you all so much.

Stew, can I get more
coconut rum in here?

And vodka and berries

and want to add
some whipped cream on top?

But you sure you don't want
the berries on top?

Because if I put the berries
under the whipped cream,

- then it's gonna taste a little...
- Do as I say!

Oooh...

Cherries, cherries and rum...

- Come on, Stew.
- Make it fast, hurry up.

At your service.

Now kiss me.

You mean right now?

When do you think I mean?

I just wasn't sure, uh,
sometimes you make me nervous.

You have a lot of demands.

Yeah? I'm demanding?

- Mm?
- Mm-hmm.

Get it, girl.

- Did you like that?
- Okay, I'm not really good at this.

And what I mean
by that is... that I did.

Me too.

You wanna a sip of my drink?

- Mm-hmm. Okay.
- Oh, he's like a little baby.

It's good.

Ha-ha!
Wow, well how about this?

- I'm sorry, did I make you mad?
- No. You're like my favorite person.

Can you make me another drink
with this straw for each of us?

- Thank you.
- Don't mess it up, Stew.

Oh, straw... straw.

You said I was
your favorite person.

You are.

Oh, I think we should give
these to some space.

Wanna go hang out over there?

Oh, okay.

One of the funniest ones

was when we accidentally jacked
a ramen noodle soup truck.

- Oh, um...
- You okay there?

Ramen truck?

Why did you, um,
jack a ramen truck?

I was... it was a mistake.

To be honest, it was supposed
to be Wallendorf shoes, but.

We just... we just
ditched in a swamp.

Huh.

What, um... what swamp?

Why?

Well, um, I was just wondering
if you could take a picture

of me in front of the truck,
so I could post it online.

You can't have a phone or any
electronics here or near the truck.

- We... you...
- I know the rules.

The only thing I ever bring with
me is this antique Polaroid camera.

They can't be traced.

I will take you to the truck.
If you tell me

- the truth about the red shoes.
- What do you mean?

I mean, they're...
they're just red shoes.

Keep talking,
I'll show you the truck.

Okay.

- Catch up.
- Uh, Okay.

So you're
saying the populace

sell their soul for a pair
of red shoes that they buy?

You want to pose
for the picture?

[Cynthia} I don't think she's
gonna be conscious anytime soon.

Just go home.

I'm not worth fighting over.

Cane,

you're mine.

Pumpkin.

He's yours, pumpkin.

Jennifer, it's not
what it looks like.

It's not what it looks like.
It's not what it looks like.

Jennifer... Jennifer,
it's not what it looks like.

Yeah, it's... it's not
what it looks like. It's...

It's what it feels like.

Jennifer... Jennifer, wait.

Jennifer, wait.
Jennifer. Fuck!

Hold, hold.

Hold.

Thank you, thank you.

Many blessings.

I can't see. I feel dizzy.

You're okay?

Ah, perfect. That's perfect.

I'm okay, I just...

just didn't eat enough today.

Well, eating was our original plan
when we came into the kitchen.

And that's why I made you a
delicious, healthy, vegan ramen.

You should do what I do.

- What is that?
- Every morning,

I have an entire block of tofu

with absolutely nothing,
completely raw.

- Yeah?
- Then, no matter what happens,

I'm properly nourished
throughout the day.

Really?

That is delicious.

Mmmm!

Oh my...

So, all the gold in the entire
ramen noodles trunk are gone?

Officially?

Without a... without a trace?

- I'm such an idiot.
- No.

- It's all my fault.
- No, no, no.

I did everything right.

I don't know
how this could have happened.

You know what they say
about plans, right?

"Best plan B is
to do plan A again."

- Do the whole thing all over again?
- Mm-hmm.

It took years.

I am confident
that between the two of us,

we can transport over six billion
dollars in untraceable gold.

Then we can still fly away
to that secret palace in Fiji.

- That's right.
- Oh...

You're such a blessing.

I'm sick
of my degenerate daughter

and my power crazed husband
drinking out of my cup

and putting pots on my fire.

Oh, baby.
Come here.

Family values,
human relationships,

these are the seeds
upon which all success grows.

What do you say to
all the people who think

your commercials and photography are unclassy,
vile and encourage violent crimes and suicide.

Well, you know,

it's hard, darling.

I consider myself
above all else an artist

and a self-help guru.

What do you think about the
rumors circulating and the theories

that your commercials are real?

What do you think
about the rumors circulating

that the earth is flat?

Everyone wants to know
why you only make red shoes.

Do you ever have any intentions of making
other clothes or other colors of shoes?

My sense of art and design start
and stop at red women's shoes.

Mr. Wallendorf,
what about shoes for men?

What about it?

Men wear my shoes. Everybody
knows men love my shoes.

I'm not going to change my
design to cater to a male market.

[woman
One more question.

Why did you have to cheat on me

when I was passed
out downstairs?

I mean, what were you thinking?

Is there anything I can do?

Can I get some more
champagne, Nate?

Of course.

You know, my name is not Nathan.

Do you know who I am?

You're Jennifer Wallendorf.

Do you want me to make you the most
famous bartender in town, Nate?

Of course.

What do you have in mind?

Make out with me.

I'll film it,

post it and tag you in it.

What's the catch?

There's no catch.

Now, uh,

get us two shots of tequila,

pour yourself
a glass of champagne,

and let's do this.

I challenge you to a fight

and the loser's penalty
is permanent banishment.

Well, Jennifer, you're even
crazier than I thought.

Oh yeah,
way crazier than you thought.

I don't want to have
to hurt you.

Just be one of my girls. Yeah?

Like everybody else.

You have no choice.

Maybe you have no choice.

I mean,
they are your stupid laws.

You really want to fight me?

And the loser gets
banished forever.

I thought you were my friend.

So yeah,
now I'm gonna banish you

and not just that,

I'm gonna beat you to a pulp.

- You sure?
- Mm-hmm.

You're cute.

I am. Thank you.

Why don't we go over to the bar and
have Stew write up some combat rules?

- Great.
- Great.

Stew!

Can I get you ladies a drink?

- No.
- No. Stew, combat rules.

Who's fighting?

Jennifer is challenging me.

You're... you're drunk, and you're
planning to use the bartender...

I get it.

- It's not a joke.
- Well, if it's not a joke,

it sounds like
a really bad plan.

I already tried convincing
her not to do it.

Yeah, she's insisting on combat.

Okay, well, my job is
to write down the rules.

I don't... want
to get challenged.

Jennifer, you should make the choices
in regards to weapons and rules.

We will fight naked.

What?

If you want to back out now,

I guess you're just gonna
get banished forever.

Hey, I don't want to back out.

I just think naked
is a stupid outfit.

I don't want to hurt
you that bad.

Yes, you do.

Okay. I guess tomorrow
we will fight naked,

and I will knock you out

and then make sure
you're safe

when you're unconscious.

And then I'll leave you in a
wheelbarrow in the middle of town.

Great, except you're gonna be the one
that's gonna be in the wheelbarrow.

Okay, so let's get back to the point.
We're gonna fight naked

except for Wallendorf
red high-heel shoes,

which will be
duct-taped to our feet.

And the fight will be
tomorrow at high noon.

I agree.

I suppose love and gold
are somewhat similar.

There's always murder involved
when the other one is on the line.

How's it going?

Um, I'm fine.

I always eat a steak
before a fight or a heist.

It's the only time
I eat red meat.

Yeah, make sense.

Would you consider

fooling around with me
tonight before the fight?

Crazier and crazier, Jennifer.

Was that, like, your last wish?

Fool around before I beat
you up and banish you forever?

Yes.

I don't normally
fool around with girls.

But if it's
the famous and infamous

Jennifer Wallendorf's
last wish, then...

I'll do it. I might need an
extra glass of wine or two first.

You're playing it cool,
but I know you want to.

Do you wanna play a game?

Sure,

whatever you want.

Okay.

This game is called...

put daddy in the room.

Cynthia! Cynthia!

Cynthia! Cynthia!

Wait, wait, wait.
It's past noon.

Let's go check her room.

Cynthia! Cynthia!

No.

Cut her down.

Hey, pumpkin.

Told you not to call me that.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's just an old habit.

When you were a baby,
you were such a little pumpkin.

That's okay.

I'm not a pumpkin anymore.

And you are
a megalo-narcissist.

Shit.

I don't even know what
a megalo-narcissist is.

It's someone like you.

- Mm-hmm.
- You've made what,

half the world
dependent on you, Dad?

You're like a boy band,

corporate kingpin.

A pop singer with rhythm,

but no soul.

What kind of language
is this, pumpkin?

You playing a game with me?

I know there's no
red shoes, Dad.

You're gathering people's
personal information,

storing it in your supercomputer

and then selling it off
to the highest bidder.

You're a wizard...

turning people
into frogs just for fun.

But you're nobody.

You are absolutely nobody.

My, my, my.

I guess my little girl
has grown up.

No more reason to call you
pumpkin, is there, Jennifer?

There's no red shoes.

It's a house of cards,

smoke and mirrors.

Well, Dad.

When you live in a house
made of cards,

you shouldn't play with fire.

I'm initiating
the congratulations game.

You can't initiate
the congratulations game.

Yes, I can.

- No, you can't.
- Yes, I really can.

No, you cannot initiate
the congratulations game.

I'm the only one
that can do that.

It's encrypted.

Voice, facial,
retina recognition software.

It is my most protected program.

How many of your super
fans do you want me to kill, Dad?

A hundred thousand? Maybe more.

Pumpkin.

It is impossible for you to
initiate the congratulations game.

- Hello?
- Congratulations.

Congratulations.

- Hello.
- Congratulations.

- Hello?
- Congratulations.

- Hello?
- Congratulations.

You just won a five-star trip
to the moon in a body bag.

Sweetheart.

What are you doing?

You stole my gold?

No, I didn't.

Chad did.

That's all my fault.

I should have known.

You should have known
but you didn't.

Now you know. Murder Chad.

Get the gold and take
your daughter to Fiji instead.

Mom, what are you doing?

Of course it was Chad.

How did you know there
was gold inside?

And how did you know
where to find the truck?

Well, Chad took me to the truck,

and then he took
this picture of me,

and then he kissed me,

and said he wanted to marry me,

and that he was gonna
take me away

from all of this
with the gold,

and we'd go wherever I wanted,

Fiji or anywhere else.

What did you do?

Instead of going to my room?

I came here to show
you the picture

and... and tell
you what happened.

Of course.

This is such a blessing.

Can you go get Chad
and bring him here?

We'll have to kill him
before we go to Fiji.

Okay, I'll get him.

Even though the core business
is a smaller part of the pie

than it was last year.
It's actually grown.

It's just that all the other
businesses are also growing

and even multiplying.

Miss Wallendorf.

Can we help you with something?

My mother would like
to see you, Chad.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Come on.

Excuse me.

Jennifer.

Your mom is not here.

Well, hey.

Oh, oh...

Oh, wow.

You did good, Chad.

What happened?

You did good.

Let go, my darling angel.

Your spirit is free.

Free! Free!

Okay. Mom, mom, mom, I think...
I think Chad's dead now.

You can never be sure with
these tough guys, sweetheart.

You've got a double kill them.

Make sure they're good and dead.

And you can be pretty sure they're dead,
but it's really hard to kill someone.

It's not like in the movies, where you
just stabs the guy and he falls down.

You really got to make sure
they're good and dead in real life.

Okay, I get it.

Chad's definitely dead.

He's gone. No more Chad.

I'll just get him one
more time for the brains.

Uh, welcome.

By now, I'm pretty sure
that he's gone, sweetheart.

- So what's the plan now?
- I'm gonna radio,

and I'm gonna
have the largest jet

fueled up and put on the runway,

then you...

you... you're gonna
bring me to this truck.

We'll get the gold,
we'll put it on the jet...

Do we have enough fuel
to get from here to Fiji?

No problem.

Did you know the plane has
a navigation system in it

that's actually easier
to use than a car?

I know how to land the jet, mom.

Oh, yes.

So what are we gonna do in Fiji
when we land with all the gold?

The Fijians are such good
people. You're gonna love them.

They have top chefs and wine
because of all the tourism.

The local cuisine is to die for.

- Jennifer?
- Oops.

Don't drop the gold.

It was an accident.

What are you doing?

I just wanted to say thank you

to everyone and, um, goodbye.

This is a celebration.

Cheers.

Mmm...

Did it look real?

Yeah, it looked real.

- I thought you were dead.
- Aw...

That was just a very basic
special visual effect.

I have a jet filled with gold,

and we're going to fly
to Fiji in it

and stay in my family's
secret castle.

This is different.

My parents are dead.

Everyone thinks I'm dead.

No one knows that
this place exists.

So you and I are gonna
fly the jet to Fiji,

and then it's gonna
fly back without us.

Come on.

Follow me.

Might as well at this point.

How did this happen? You were
all friends with Jennifer Wallendorf?

We're just as surprised
as you are.

We were friends of Jennifer's,

but we didn't know her parents.

It felt so good to be bad.

We are going to drink to Stew

and to all of
the wonderful bad girls.

Okay, but why?

I left Wallendorf shoes
to the crew,

along with everything else
that my family owns.

Well, I'll drink to that.

But why? Those kids can't run
a massive global corporation?

You just left one of the biggest
businesses in the country

to a handful
of drugged out hooligans.

Exactly.

Uhm, okay.

You know how to fly this thing?

You can't ask that question now.

You should have asked
before we got on the jet

and you put your seatbelt on.

Well, what's the answer?

Aren't you supposed
to pull up or something?

Aren't you supposed
to pull up or something?

Aren't you supposed
to pull up or something?

We intend to honor
her last wishes

and we will do our best to run
her family's corporations.

With sorrow,

we embrace our new fortunes.

This game is called...

Atcha, atcha, atcha...

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull