All language subtitles for THE BIG LEAP S01E01 I WANT YOU BACK 1080P AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-FLUX

-Wow!

Returning champs
Dolores Huerta High School

are crushing this!

The heart and soul
of this team.

She's got a bright future,

heading off to NYU
on a dance scholarship.

with Justin Calgrove.

-- Whoo!
-- Wow!

We're expecting big things
from these two.

T-

I love you.
You were everything.

I love you too. You were fire.

You were the sun.

You were Super Bowl Beyoncé.

How does she not know he's gay?

How does he not know he's gay?

Honey, you were so good.

Wow, your boobs look amazing.

- Mom.
-What?

It's the benefit
of being curvy.

Beyoncé.

I can't believe she's leaving.

Oh, I'll take good care
of her at NYU.

You said I could have
the house tonight, right?

Yes. I'll be back at00.
No drinking.

You and Justin. I'm curious.

I mean, you two have been
together for so long.

How's the sex?

Can I tell you something?

- You two haven't had sex?
- How'd you know?

He said that he wanted to wait
so it would be special.

You know, that all tracks.

And there's something else.

We took a break over Christmas.

There was this guy.

- It was one time.

I'm empty.
I have more in my room.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You had actual sex.
That's great.

One time, but it really
just convinced me

that Justin is my soul mate.

Gabby, Gabby. Gabby, wait.
No, no, no, please.

Okay. Okay.

So we were always going
to have this conversation.

I just thought
it would happen earlier.

-Gabby, Gabby, Gabby!
- Ooh, what happened?

Justin's finally gay.

Justin's finally gay?
Oh, thank God.

You guys, Justin's gay now.

-Finally!

Are you okay?

Get out!

Wait, why are you throwing up?

- You only had one drink.
- Get out!

Gabs, I'm so sorry.

It just happened,
but I love you,

and I'll never do it again,
I promise.

Except for my dreams.
I can't control my dreams.

- Get out!
-Okay!

Gabby, I don't know
why I did that.

You know, my therapist says

- I use sex as power, but--
- Get out!

Girl, I don't know
who you think you talking to.

So Christmas break guy.

He used protection, right?

Sam!
Sam, we can't be late again.

Come on, we got to go.
Come on.

Mom!
That's, like, a brick of sugar.

I know, honey.

That's why
I didn't give it to you.

Oh, my God. Every morning?

Tampered. You know this one.

Tampered. T-A-M-P-E-R-E-D.

You are so ready!

You have
the best day ever, okay?

really is trying
to tell us something.

I'll give you an example.

Last week, I was
mid-warrior three pose, hmm,

when in walks
the most beautiful,

perfect woman in her 20s.

Well, I literally toppled over.

So what is the lesson here,
ladies?

Compare and despair.

You know,
as a former ballet dancer,

I should know this, right?

Aging is a-a wonderful,
wonderful journey.

We've worked hard to create
these beautiful, loving--

Mom, where is my
frickin' backpack?

Is this another post about
how great it is to be old?

Okay, we don't use
the O-word in this house,

and I'm helping
an entire community

of women feel less alone.

Are you sure you're not helping

an entire community
of women feel like crap?

Your backpack is on the hook
where it always is.

Good morning, family.

Good morning.
Working from home today?

Yep, all day in my office.

Please do not disturb.
I'm on a deadline.

Again. Okay.

Hey, girls, do you need me
to make cupcakes for--

No, we don't need anything.

Feel free to live your life.
Bye!

- Have a good day.

You have a relevance problem.

Do you know what I mean
when I say that?

You're calling me old?

I didn't say that.

- Don't put words in my mouth.
- Okay.

I'm saying
that you're competing

with influencers who have
existed for less time.

Okay, I may
have lost followers.

You're losing sponsors.
Try something new.

A face-lift or a divorce.

Are--I'm so sorry.

Are you offended?
Are you crying?

Let's set an intention,
a goal.

70 to 75 RPM
on two and one and two.

Now close your eyes.

Now I want you to imagine

someone you love
more than anyone in the world.

And I want you to imagine

that that person is trying
to leave you.

Are you gonna let
that person leave?

-No.
- No!

Because that is your wife.

You made a commitment
in front of 150 people.

A wedding, by the way,
that we're still paying off.

I wanted to do
an intimate wedding,

and she wanted all her cousins,
and she has so many cousins,

and a lot of them aren't great.

Okay, guys.
Elbows in, wrists relaxed.

This is deranged.
You need help.

And stop saying I got fired!
It's not accurate.

The auto industry
shipped my job to Mexico,

and there was a global pandemic
from a bat.

A bat killed
all of our grandparents.

How is that my fault?
Any hands? No?

Then in that case,
let's go to shoulder rolls.

Yes?

So I got fired
from my spin class.

Have you read that Brené Brown
book I gave you?

She writes a lot about
vulnerability and letting go.

You know what I hear
when you say that?

"Give up." That's not me.
I'm getting my life back.

That life is not
coming back, Mike.

The factory is closed.
Paige is gone.

No, she's not.
She just needs room.

It's a trial separation.

We're not even seeing
other people.

But you're dealing
with a lot right now.

We're trying to say
we're worried.

We're concerned you're at sea.

We're not gonna stand here

and watch you
kill yourself, man!

- Whoa!
- What's the matter with you?

Guys--hey, hey, hey!

He's got those sad eyes
and everything!

My eyes are fine!
I'm fine!

No, I don't want a hug.

So...okay.

What do you say we go
cobble together a paycheck?

Okay, all buckled in?

We can always stop
and get more.

Guys, do you have a shortcut
you want me to use?

Instacart.

They were out of Merlot.

- Alan?
-Yeah, hi.

- Uh, this is us.
-Oh, this is us?

Oh, that's great.

I love riding in the backseat

of a compact sedan from 2001.

The broken heater and wet
dog hair comes standard.

Never in the history
of television

has an executive producer
been left behind

to die at a location, Alan.

I thought you were
in the lead van!

You th--I'm gonna push you
out of this car.

They can move
the Zoom 15 minutes,

but they're worried
about turnout

and want to add that
to the agenda.

Well, how is that my fault?

They dropped me in Detroit
three days ago

to save a stupid dance show,
and last thing--Alan.

Alan, that--that is
too much hand sanitizer.

Do I need to reach in
and flip a breech baby later?

- I'm sorry.
- Is that on the prep schedule?

I just want
a normal amount, Alan.

And why do you have the boom?

Why does sound
not have the boom?

Gary asked me to hold it.

And then what happened?

Then I lost Gary.

Jessica, switch places with me,
or I'm going to do murder.

-No. No, no, no.
- Not safe.

I've got hand sanitizer
all over my leg now.

Well, this is it. We are here.

This is the opera house.

Oh, hey. The posters are up.

What do you think?

The woman in the wheelchair
is a little much.

No, it's perfect.
Very moving.

Emotional, right?

Good. Thanks.

Gabby Lewis, guess what.

You're getting a promotion
to project manager!

You don't seem that excited.

Oh, I am. Thank you.
It's just--

You know, I have always
thought of you as the next me.

Holy crap.

So it's a dance reality show.
It's called
The Big Leap.

What does that
have to do with you?

Well, I'm gonna audition.
It's for amateur dancers.

- No.
- Why would you do that?

Yeah, why would you do that?

'Cause they want
regular people.

All styles of dance welcome.

Auditions are Monday.

Since when are you a dancer?

My mom ran a dance studio.

Did you ever take classes?

Whatever. I absorbed it.

Wait a minute,
is this an elimination show?

Actually, no.
It's not an elimination show.

They pick a dance company
of 20 people,

and then they create
something together.

Sounds like a train wreck.

That's the thing.
It's very positive.

And it all builds to a live
performance of
Swan Lake,

which is, you know--

it's very scary,
but also very exciting.

It's a grand gesture.

- This is how I get Paige back.

You lost me there, man.

Same.
I withdraw my support.

Don't you see?

This could change
my whole life.

Are you sure?

Remember when Ryan Locker

dropped you dropped you
during cheerleading tryouts?

I literally think about it
every day,

but thank you for checking.

Maybe it's not too late
for me to dance again.

Wow.

This is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard of.

I'm doing the show,
and I'm getting my wife back.

I'm going for it.

Really? By yourself?

No. Not by myself.

Hi.

Hi. Um...

What are you--

I found out you work here
on Instagram.

I just came to say hi.

You just came to say hi

after seven years
of not speaking to me?

Yeah.

Well, no.

There is this reality show
for amateur dancers.

Audition with me.

Justin, got a ball jam on nine.

Yeah, okay.
I'll be right there.

I called you so many times.
I thought you hated me.

Pause. Who is that?

That is my son, Sam.

Say hi, Sam.

- Is he mine?
-What?

Are you so gay now
that you don't know

how babies are made?

We never had sex, remember?

Ball's not unjamming itself,
buddy.

Bruce, we're already in hell.
It's not an emergency.

I'm coming.

Just so you know, I'm not--

I mean,
this isn't a permanent job.

Things are a little hard
out there without a degree.

I'm not judging.

I never made it
to college either.

What happened with you?

I came out to my dad.
He kicked me out.

Said he wouldn't help
with college.

Haven't spoken since.

Which you would know
if you just called me back.

I'm sorry, okay?

I-I was pregnant and scared

and ashamed and depressed,

and I just--I couldn't be
anybody's friend.

But I'm here now.

Can I ask you something?

Are you happy?

I work at a bowling alley.

Okay, so maybe we're both
living the wrong lives,

and--and this show could be
a creative rebirth for us.

- A what?
- A creative rebirth.

I can't have
a creative rebirth right now.

I've got a ball jam.

Please don't be dancing.

Junior year. Partners final.

You and me.
I know you remember.

Justin! I need that lane!

You look like
the biggest dork right now.

It's how much I love you.

Yes!

J!

- Whoa.
- Wow.

Hello, Detroit!
We're here. We're back.

We came through a nightmare,
and now we get

to be together again.

Raise your hand if you are sick

of dancing
like nobody is watching.

I see you.

When I went to New York,
they told me

I didn't have the training
to be a ballet dancer.

So I worked my ass off,
and three years later,

I was a principal dancer
at the American Ballet Theater

because I demanded
a second chance for myself,

like I'm demanding
a second chance for you.

We are gonna dance
like everybody is watching.

He's good. Inspirational.
Not too earnest. I like him.

We are gonna take
the big leap!

Is it the right title?

Should we go with
Dance Your Heart Out?

We should go with
Career-Ending Diaper Fire.

Wow.

Save that
for the camera, sister.

Audition in any style
you want today.

40 of you will advance,
and of those people,

they will partner dance,
then we will pick 20 people,

and that will be
The Big Leap
Dance Company.

- Are you ready?

I said, "Are you ready?"

Yeah!

Hey! That was just great.
Couple of things.

We're looking for personality.
Crazy is not a bad thing.

I thought we were trying
to find great dancers.

All we're going to find
is type 2 diabetes.

She's gonna test
through the roof.

- What is happening right now?
- Move him along.

- Okay, stop. Thank you.
-Next.

No. No. No! Oh, shoot me.

You did the best you could.

See, look, I made her go away.

No. No. Thank you.

Oh, that just gave me a UTI.

Next.

Is she giving me a curse?

-- Thank you.
-- We're good.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Uh, um, I'm Mike Devries.

- Yeah, bro! Mike! Mikey!
- Hey, Mike!

Oh, my God.

You go,
disenfranchised white male.

Get a camera on his
schlubby friends back there.

-Fantastic.

Congratulations.
You're advancing.

Okay!

- Come on, Mike!
- Hey!

Wonderful. Wonderful. Yes, yes.

I feel a second chance
coming on.

Congratulations.

Oh, no, no, sorry.
I can't do another Spider-Man.

How many Spider-Men
are there in Detroit?

Apparently a lot.

We can't believe
we're gonna say this,

but you're going through.

- Yes!
- Yes!

Congratulations! Next.

You're going through.

Now, that is a ticket
I am willing to pay.

You are advancing.
Yes, yes.

I love the meter maid.

Hi.

She had breast cancer
last year.

She almost died.

That's good--
breast cancer always plays.

- It's not enough.
- Sorry.

- Why is this so hard?
- I'm so sorry.

What's your name?

Do you have
a Broadway background?

Paula Clark.

I was a musical theater
major in college.

- Welcome back.

- Hi, I'm Brittney Lovewell.
- Simon Lovewell.

Married couple team.

- No, no, we're siblings.
- We're twins.

Uh, twintastic.
Show me what you got.

I feel like they're gonna kiss.

I don't want to see it,
but I can't look away.

Call research and see how
incest plays in the Midwest.

Twincest.

Congratulations.
Next.

Whenever you're ready.

Oh, finally!
A ballet dancer.

-Yeah.

She is the exact average age
of our viewer.

Absolutely beautiful.

- It was nice.
- She was wonderful.

-Well--yes.
- Congratulations.

- You're moving through.
- Thank you so much.

- Okay, is ballet boring?
- I love the ballet.

All right,
name one ballet dancer.

Natalie Portman's husband.

What's his name?

- Okay.
-Next.

I'm Raven Price.

I'm an exotic dancer
and adult-film actress.

I have a new movie coming out.

It's my first fan bang,
just in time for the holidays.

That's a lot of baby powder.

I love her.
Guys, hey, I love her.

She's in.

Congratulations.

- Oh, gosh.
- Next.

If I got
in a car crash, could--

do you think I could get out
of my contract?

-- Are you okay?
-- Yeah. Yeah.

J-just give us a second.

Justin, you were excellent.

You're advancing.

Gabby, I'm sorry, but this is
the end of the road for you.

-Gabby--
- It's okay. It's okay.

I'm so happy for you, okay?

Five and six
and seven and eight.

It's a simple partner dance.

I took all the ballet
out of this.

I cannot dumb it down
for you any further.

Don't want to see that in here.

Watch the stripper back,
please.

I prefer the term "sex worker."

I started dancing
when I was six years old.

I worked until my feet bled.

I spent six years in the corps

before I became
a prima ballerina.

Didn't get my period
until I was 30.

You guys...

you just rolled
out of bed this morning,

ate a bowl of cheese,
and now you get to dance

in front of millions of people.

We're building to a live
performance of
Swan Lake,

and you're too stupid
to be nervous.

I'm nervous now.

Shut up!

-Again!

I'm turned on
and terrified at the same time.

Listen, I just got off a Zoom
with the network.

A little worried about
the lack of star power.

Idea. Reggie Sadler.

Tight end
for the Detroit Lions.

He's on the wrong side of 30.

Plus, he just got suspended
from his third DUI.

Here, check him out.

-I can play!
-Guys.

This is Reggie Sadler
wasted on a football field.

-It's so sad.
- Watch the pizza.

-- Touchdown!
-- Spike!

Look at those moves.
Look at that potential.

You see the dancing?

And then he gets angry

at the camera guy,
and he might hit him.

It's not important,
but he's good.

- No way.
- I know. That's what I said.

He's never gonna do this,

but he lost
all his endorsements.

Twitter is mad as hell at him
because he called

Michelle Obama's ass fat.

No one wants to touch him.

We got a meeting
with him tomorrow.

Wake up!

There are people
who would kill to be here!

I'm so sorry.

Sammy! What happened?

He got a really hard word.

Abecedarian.
Who even knows what that means?

I peed my pants.
We have to move!

Sam, it stinks,

but life is about
coming back from a punch.

You got to keep getting up,

no matter how many times
you get kicked in the teeth.

Okay. Okay.

Sam, I want you to run
to the vending machine.

We need some chocolate, okay?

Go back to the show.

Tell them they made a mistake.

Get a second chance.

I had my second chance, Mom,
and I blew it.

I know your depression

is telling you terrible things
about yourself and your future,

but your depression is a liar.

I love you so much.

You deserve
a little more in life, honey.

Go get it.

All right, uh, this group's
released for today.

Thank you.

Oh, you're reading Brené Brown.

That's impressive for a guy.

Um, yeah, no,
a friend gave it to me.

Oh, you have a friend--
also impressive for a guy.

Even more impressive,
I'm reading it in French.

- Really?
- No! What?

-You bought that?

That book helped me so much.

Really? How so?

I had this big corporate job,
and then I got sick.

She helped me realize
it was time to quit.

- Is everything okay?
- Oh, yeah.

I'm more worried about
getting cut in there.

Everyone else is so fresh

and I'm all like...

Stop, you're great.

You know, my mom
loves musicals.

You know, I can do
a poor man's Gene Kelly here.

Does this poor man's Gene Kelly
have a broken foot?

Wow, see, I should be offended,

but I feel like it's coming
from a place of jealousy.

So how about a little, uh,
Singin' in the Rain?

Oh, here comes the rich man's
Debbie Reynolds.

Oh, wow. We're committing, huh?

I see what's going on.

- Here I go.
- Wow.

Are we actually
in a musical right now?

So those two?

He was laid off
from his auto factory job.

She worked
for the same company--

Vice President
of Restructuring.

So she fired him.

He has no idea, and now
they're cutely flirting

and dancing on a fire escape.

Why are we not filming this?

Hey, guys, what do you think
we're doing here?

- Come on.
-Nice.

- That's pretty good.

- Permission to smack your foot?
- Go ahead.

Coming up.

- Going down.
-Going up.

-Going across.

Let's snap.

- Let's do that.
- Okay.

I feel like you're more
of a reader than a dancer.

The funny thing is,
I actually can't read either.

All right, then,
now watch me play.

-- Yeah.
-- One hand, throw up and--

Mike?

Paige. Hey.

That's gre--okay.
Um, this is my, uh, wife.

- He said wife?
-Uh-huh.

Oh, it's a gift from God.
I want one on her...

I'm trying
to patch things up, uh...

-- Uh-huh.
-- With her and, uh...

Whoa, hey.

It's crazy that you are--

Hi. How are you?

-Good, good.
- What is all this?

This is a reality dance show
that I'm doing.

How are you--
Who's--who's this guy?

I thought we weren't
seeing other people.

I'm Patrick.
I-I heard a lot about you.

- Maybe I should go.
- No. What? This is amazing.

Hey, come here. Come here.
You stay.

I need you here
because, uh, triangle, okay?

Is he in wealth management?

Mike, don't start--
don't even start this crap.

I never said
I wasn't seeing other people.

You made that up!

We can keep
this friendly, right?

Patrick, nobody's talking
to you, man, so--

Easy. Easy. Camera.

Can I get you to sign this?
It's the release.

Oh, I-I don't want to be
on reality TV.

- So, no, thank you.
- You want to talk about this?

Let's talk about it.
Give me the paper.

- Yes, here we go.
-Don't do that.

Just one initial there
and sign right at the bottom.

Maybe we can take a walk
around the block--

That's great. All right.
Carry on, please.

Okay, you got laid off.

You think you're the first
person to lose their job?

That's not why I left.

I left because you were mean,

and you wouldn't get off
the couch.

You need help, Mike.

What, you're--
you're doing a reality show?

Really?

Is this really a great time

for you to be introduced
to the world?

Oh, and this guy, Patrick--

Again, don't want to be on TV.

He's a teacher.

He doesn't have two nickels
to rub together,

but he's happy.

He likes himself,
and he likes me.

I like you.
I love you.

I tried so hard
to make things work,

but you just
completely shut down.

I married a happy guy, Mike.

If that guy
ever shows up again,

he can give me a call.

Come on, Patrick.

Paige, this is still
a-a date, yeah?

Push, push.
A little tighter. Two tease.

There we go.
All right, we got that.

Thank you, guys.
Looks great.

Lunch is here.

I made it to the next round.

Are you really
gonna do this show?

Yeah, if I make the final cut.

- Mm.
- Want to fool around?

Oh, honey, I'm just tired.

You know, we haven't had sex
in six months.

What, are you keeping score?

Well, that's not hard
because the score is zero.

- We barely talk anymore, Kevin.

All you do a sit in your office
all day long.

You know, I'm getting
really tired of apologizing

for working my ass off.

- Are you having an affair?
- No!

Why is this all of a sudden
so important to you?

What, you want to put it
on Instagram?

"Kevin lasted 14 minutes
last night.

Champagne emoji, heart emoji,
smiley face."

- Okay, that's mean.
- It's true!

Our whole lives are online,

and this reality show--
I don't want you to do it.

Well, that's not
entirely up to you.

I want my privacy.

Please, please don't do it.

Please!

Nick, Charlotte wants
to move to London with Henry.

Well, Charlotte can't because
we share custody in New York.

Um, Reggie Sadler's here.

She is making the case,
since you were never home,

that you don't really live
in New York--

No, my work is out of town.
This is ridiculous.

She can't take my kid.

-- Reggie Sadler's here.
-- Hold on.

Oh, really, Ron Weasley?
Reggie Sadler's here?

Okay, I'll just give up
custody of my kid

so we can start the meeting
on your schedule.

You have no idea
what to do right now, do you?

- I--no.
- Punch yourself in the face

and go offer him some coffee!

Obviously I need
a minute here.

Sorry.

Look, Marty, I need you
to make this go away, okay?

I can't--I--

Marty,
I got to be able to see my kid.

Please figure it out.

Holding auditions from which
we will choose 20 people

who will go on to rehearse
and then perform...

Who's in there?

- It's, uh, Reggie Sadler.

We are prepared
to offer you $2 million.

Well, you'll have
to audition, of course.

Whoa.

Audition on--on camera?

- No.
- He doesn't have to audition.

- He absolutely has to audition.
- Of course he does!

No, I have
to protect his brand.

Well, look, right now,
his brand

is crazy, drunk misogynist.

- What else are you gonna do?
- We'll figure it out.

Thanks for playing
for the team, guys.

Well, we'll have to know
if he can dance.

How am I supposed to pull off

a production of Swan Lake
with no real dancers?

I don't know!

It's gonna be
a real nail-biter.

The harder your job is,
the better the show is.

Excuse me, if I can teach him
the choreography

and get him to audition,
can I get another shot?

- No.
- Yes.

You're the single mom
we cut yesterday, right?

Gabby, and that was unfair.

There was stripper dust
on the stage.

I'm sorry, she was cut.
There's no second chances.

Well, to be fair the show is
literally about second chances.

Yeah, I like her
coming down here

and asking for another shot.

That's plucky as hell,
and look at her.

Her hair, those freckles--
I'm drawn in.

I don't know whether
she's Black or white or what.

You know
what she looks like to me?

She looks like America,
and America needs a win.

- She really does.
- Yeah.

Come on, teach her the dance.

I'm only showing you this once.

Mm-hmm.

It's a lot of money, Jade.

We're appealing
your suspension.

We can't find a doctor
to say I can play.

My career could be over.

I'm selling my furniture, Jade.
I need a plan.

Excuse me! Excuse me!
Hi, excuse me.

Uh, I'm Gabby Lewis.

I'm with the show.
You need to do this.

You need the money,
your reputation is trash,

and women hate you.

That last part ain't true.

This will be goodwill
in the bank.

I can teach you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay.
Let's do it.

Your house, one hour.

Uh, sorry.

Um, I don't know
where you live.

All right, so what we doing?

Right. Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes.

Let's, um, partner up.
Okay.

Your, uh, your right hand
on my shoulder,

and your left onto my--

Sorry. Sorry. Uh, pandemic.

I haven't been--
I haven't been touched

by a man in--in, like, a year.

- You good?
- Mm-hmm. Yes, yes. Here we go.

Here we go. Mm-hmm.
Right hand on my shoulder.

Sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry.

It's actually been, um,
much, much longer than a year.

I'm gonna just--
I'm gonna get some water, okay?

I'm gonna--

One, two. Shoulders back.

Watch your posture.
Look me in the eye.

Yep. Ow, that's my foot.
And that's my boob.

- Sorry.
- It's okay. It's okay.

Don't let a sweet handful
of boob

get in the way of your success.

It's not the boob.
The boob is wonderful.

I'm a boob man.

- Great.
- Uh-huh.

Oh, my God.

I'm not a dancer.

Hey, have you ever
even seen
Swan Lake?

Man, hell, no.

Where's the part where
Mila Kunis starts having sex

- with Natalie Portman?
- That's
Black Swan.

There's no ecstasy-fueled
lesbian sex scene

in Swan Lake.

- God.
- There should be.

Ooh, we gonna do the lift?

What? No.

I-I don't want to
throw your back out.

You let me worry
about my back, huh?

No, it's just...

If you're the one
who gets lifted,

you're--you're, like,
the--the best one,

the smallest one,
the one that gets everything.

That's--that's just not me.

You're getting a little
worked up about this.

What are you so concerned
about the lift for?

You know what you should be
concerned about?

- Not sucking.
- I'ma show you not sucking.

Hmm. When?

Okay.

Turn around.

Up and down.
Yeah, got it.

Chin up.
And go.

Drag.
Up, down.

Seven, eight, and go.

Go, go.

- Across.
- Yeah, that--

Hook the arms.

- How about this?
- Stop it.

Push me back.
That's not a push, but okay.

Up, down.

Elongate your neck.
Smile.

Okay, well, can you elongate
your foot, please?

- Big smile, or we'll lose.
-Ow!

Brittney.
Hey! Excuse me.

You are a grown woman,
You don't hit.

Okay.

- Let's go.

This is so unfair.

What?

Your dinner, including
the extra-large shake,

is, like, 4,800 calories

and 91 points
on Weight Watchers.

- How do you do that?
-I just do.

I know how many calories
are in everything.

How many calories am I?

What, you mean if I, like,
killed you and ate you?

Yeah, roasted Reggie.

What do you go, 220? 223?

221. That's pretty good.

I'm gonna minus out
the organs for you.

Sure.

You are 96,500 calories

and 2,135 points
on Weight Watchers.

Wow, that is crazy.
You're insane.

I was a dancer growing up.
Small's better.

Mm-mm. This is your issue.

That call's coming
from inside of the house.

Oh, okay.

The guy who tweeted
about Michelle Obama's big ass

says it's all in our heads?

- God, that was a compliment.
-How about this?

Just don't say anything
about anybody's body ever.

- Period.
- How about this?

We are physical creatures,

and attraction
is a wonderful thing, period.

Man, just lighten up.

Why is the answer always
for women to just lighten up?

Bullying, harassment.
"Babe, just lighten up."

Oh, how did we get to rape,
mood killer? Damn!

It is a slippery slope
from commenting on our bodies

to wanting to own them.

It's gender terrorism.

You really believe that?

Sometimes.

Okay, and then other times,
I just want to look pretty.

You are pretty.

We got to get out of here.

Got to crush
that audition tomorrow.

That's Reggie Sadler.

Thanks for getting mowed over
last year.

You cost me two grand,
drunk hair bag.

Let's go.
Who cares?

Team's better off
without you, man.

Come on.
Let's go.

Yeah, that's right.

Listen to your
fat-ass girlfriend!

Yo! Reggie!

-- Come on, chill!
-- Reggie!

Say it again!

Yeah, you got the right
one today, bro.

Reggie!

Hi, can I help you?

I need to know how much porn
my husband is looking at,

but he clears
his history constantly.

Can you help me?

Of course. Right this way.

- Okay.
- No, no, no, no, no, no. No.

Do a system restore, Scout.

I had to do it
for a lady last week.

- You do this a lot?
- Oh, you have no idea.

I got it.
I got it. I got it.

Okay, so this guy's hitting it
ten times a day.

This dude was looking at porn
like it's his job.

Amateur Slamature,
Suburbanjugs,

American Butts Only,
Tightpitts.

Looks like he's on
a webcam site a lot.

Wait, webcam,
that's with a live girl?

Why do you look at porn
when you have someone

at home to have sex with?

Easier, faster, more variety.

It's not cheating.
It's just release.

- No, no, no, man.
- That's disgusting.

I think anything sexual

outside of a relationship
is definitely cheating.

And besides,
porn is degrading to women.

Oh, my God.
You are so uptight.

Everybody looks at porn.

- No--
-No. No, no, no.

You cannot separate your heart
from your genitals, man.

- Okay, you're not--
- Let me guess.

He tells you
that he's been working a lot.

Oh, he's been working,
all right.

He's been working
his damn ding-dong.

It's not like
he has a girlfriend.

No, this is so much worse.

He can have whatever he wants
whenever he wants.

The Internet is his girlfriend!

What am I supposed to do, huh?

I think you should do
whatever you want.

Yeah, you're right.

You are exactly right.
I can do whatever I want.

Thank you for the depressing
focus group.

I have an audition.

Good luck on your journey.

Thank you!

Don't you have
your thing today?

I don't think so, buddy.
Kind of fell apart last night.

- Ah!
- Oh, hey!

- Look who's here! Oh, wow!
- Oh, whoa!

- Hello.
-Hi.

Come with me?
Moral support.

Plus, maybe all the women
will be eaten by bears.

Sam, should we go cheer
for Justin?

Yeah?

Okay, I guess we'll go.

Come on, Mike.
Hey.

Open up.
I see you.

Paige told me what happened.

You're gonna miss
your audition.

- I'm not doing that.
- Why not?

'Cause it's stupid
and she told me off on camera.

Said I was miserable
and that I pushed her away.

Is any of that true?

It's been a hard few years.

I'm lost, man.

I think a lot of people
feel like that.

It's a hard time to be alive,
but I'll tell you what,

I did not know
that you could dance like that.

Why not do the show?
Be a part of something.

See what happens.

I just want her back.

Is it possible that
you don't want Paige back?

Is it possible
that you want you back?

Oh, you're a lifesaver.
What prevents us?

Final couple dance
starts now.

Roll sound, please.

- Um--
-I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, sorry,
sorry I'm late.

I'm weirdly invested

in Spider-Man
and the meter maid.

She's just glowing.

I'm doing this, Alan.
You do something else.

Ready the star drop.
Cue the lights, please.

- I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.

Hey, where's my
football player?

Uh, he couldn't do it.

- I'm just here for Justin.
- Sorry.

Nah, don't be.
I mean, feel sorry for me.

I'm the one
that's stuck in Detroit

for the next four months.

But you--you don't want to do
this show.

I mean, all these people,

their gonna have their lives
turned upside down.

We're gonna look for dirt,
and we're gonna exploit it,

and I'll feel bad,

but not too bad
'cause that's my job.

Yo.

We doing this or what?

Oh, who is that?

All right,
it looks like you're up.

- I don't have shoes.
- I brought them just in case.

- She brought them just in case.
- O-okay.

It's okay.
Just breathe.

She's coming!
Slow but fast.

Oh, my God, your hair!
Take it down.

Sadler's in the zone.
Let's go.

He's, like, really attractive
in person.

Did you--
did you tell me that?

Honey, I'm gonna
muss the hair in the back.

-Just pull it back.
- You look beautiful, okay?

You got to go.
You got to go.

Beyoncé!

I thought you got arrested.

They both had warrants.

Hey, we need some music.

Check it out.

Let's do the lift.

- What? No, no, no.
- Yeah.

No, no, no, no!

- Wow!
- Whoo!

Yes!

What?
What's up?

Nothing. I--

Thank you.

Thanks for that.

Thank you.

Jessica, let me see your notes.
Let me see your notes.

I want you to find out
everything you can

about her family,
socioeconomics.

- Who's the father of her kid?
- She didn't want to say.

That means
there's something there.

- Can you figure it out?
- Yeah.

- Why are we doing this?
- 'Cause she's our story.

How is she the story?

She's gonna
fall in love with him,

and he's gonna break her heart.