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1
00:00:04,887 --> 00:00:08,891
[Dean Martin's
"Memories Are Made of This" playing]
2
00:00:08,974 --> 00:00:12,895
? Remember, remember you will ?
3
00:00:12,978 --> 00:00:17,816
? Take one fresh and tender kiss ?
4
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:20,277
? Remember you will ?
5
00:00:20,361 --> 00:00:25,407
? Add one stolen night of bliss ?
6
00:00:25,491 --> 00:00:28,369
? Remember you will ?
7
00:00:28,452 --> 00:00:31,872
? One girl, one boy... ?
8
00:00:31,997 --> 00:00:33,832
Hey, mister, you a pilot?
9
00:00:33,916 --> 00:00:35,584
Not yet, but I'm getting there.
10
00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:38,629
- Were you in Korea?
- I saw a little action.
11
00:00:38,712 --> 00:00:40,547
Golly gee, you're a hero!
12
00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:42,049
[chuckles] I'm no hero.
13
00:00:42,132 --> 00:00:46,178
But if it wasn't for me...
you'd be working in a rice paddy.
14
00:00:46,261 --> 00:00:47,679
Gee, thanks, mister!
15
00:00:48,472 --> 00:00:51,287
Oh, my girl's coming out.
Here's a dollar, kid.
16
00:00:51,288 --> 00:00:53,477
- Treat your folks to dinner.
- Wow!
17
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:56,021
[Jim Reeves'
"Memories Are Made of This" playing]
18
00:00:56,105 --> 00:00:57,731
? The memories you gave me ?
19
00:00:57,815 --> 00:01:03,821
? Serve it generously with love ?
20
00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:05,999
? The memories you gave me ?
21
00:01:06,031 --> 00:01:09,993
? One man, one wife... ?
22
00:01:10,077 --> 00:01:14,373
Oh, come on, ladies.
Buy something already.
23
00:01:14,456 --> 00:01:18,210
Oh, Sue, why are you trying to sell
containers to that fat tub of shit?
24
00:01:18,794 --> 00:01:21,130
She's never had a leftover in her life.
25
00:01:21,755 --> 00:01:23,132
[sighs]
26
00:01:23,507 --> 00:01:25,843
[man] That's the great Jim Reeves.
27
00:01:25,926 --> 00:01:30,514
Hard to believe it's been ten years since
we lost him in a horrific plane crash.
28
00:01:30,597 --> 00:01:32,641
Lucky bastard.
29
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:35,602
- Hey, mister. You a pervert?
- No!
30
00:01:35,686 --> 00:01:38,105
Then why are you staring at ladies
through that window like one?
31
00:01:38,188 --> 00:01:40,899
- That's my wife in there.
- How come you're not at work?
32
00:01:40,983 --> 00:01:42,776
How come you're not leaving me
the fuck alone?
33
00:01:42,860 --> 00:01:45,988
I'm gonna tell my dad you swore at me.
He's a cop.
34
00:01:46,071 --> 00:01:48,365
Then he can solve your murder,
you nosey little shit!
35
00:01:48,449 --> 00:01:52,411
Frank, no! You've got to stop
swearing at other people's children.
36
00:01:52,494 --> 00:01:56,123
You're right.
Hey, go play with your father's gun!
37
00:01:56,206 --> 00:01:58,000
- Frank!
- I didn't swear.
38
00:01:58,083 --> 00:01:59,293
[sighs]
39
00:01:59,376 --> 00:02:03,088
Would you please go in and carry out
the rest of the stuff I didn't sell?
40
00:02:03,172 --> 00:02:04,631
There's a lot of it.
41
00:02:04,715 --> 00:02:07,426
Okay, sure. Be right back.
42
00:02:11,180 --> 00:02:13,515
[sighs] Why me?
43
00:02:23,692 --> 00:02:26,570
Is everybody in your family a loser?
[chuckles]
44
00:02:26,653 --> 00:02:29,406
- Get the fuck out of here!
- Ow!
45
00:02:29,490 --> 00:02:33,035
[Redbone's
"Come and Get Your Love" playing]
46
00:02:39,082 --> 00:02:42,127
? Come and get your love ?
47
00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:47,591
? Come and get your love ?
48
00:02:48,717 --> 00:02:51,364
? Come and get your love ?
49
00:02:53,096 --> 00:02:55,474
? Come and get your love ?
50
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:58,852
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
51
00:02:58,936 --> 00:03:00,437
? Come and get your love now ?
52
00:03:01,813 --> 00:03:03,565
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
53
00:03:03,649 --> 00:03:04,775
? Come and get your love now ?
54
00:03:04,858 --> 00:03:05,984
[grunts] Ah!
55
00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:07,653
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
56
00:03:07,736 --> 00:03:09,571
? Come and get your love now ?
57
00:03:10,781 --> 00:03:12,324
? Come and get your love
Come and get your love ?
58
00:03:12,407 --> 00:03:13,867
? Come and get your love now ?
59
00:03:14,451 --> 00:03:16,869
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
60
00:03:16,870 --> 00:03:19,623
[TV announcer]
And now back to Colt Luger... Classics.
61
00:03:19,706 --> 00:03:23,669
- Hey, Dad, Colt's back on!
- Hang on, hang on.
62
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:28,131
Oh, Christ,
who keeps turning this up to 64?
63
00:03:28,215 --> 00:03:30,259
- Dad, it's cold.
- Quit your bitching, Kevin.
64
00:03:30,342 --> 00:03:32,135
Kids in Africa would kill
to see their breath.
65
00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:37,766
You sold a friend of mine
some bad pixie dust, Tinker Bell,
66
00:03:37,849 --> 00:03:39,768
that made him think he could fly.
67
00:03:39,851 --> 00:03:41,645
But gravity's an hombre that never loses.
68
00:03:41,728 --> 00:03:44,648
So slap on a bra because
you're about to have a bad trip
69
00:03:44,731 --> 00:03:49,278
to the San Cortez Regional
Correctional Institute for broads!
70
00:03:49,361 --> 00:03:50,372
See that, kids?
71
00:03:50,373 --> 00:03:53,407
That's the kind of man you
want to be: self-employed.
72
00:03:53,490 --> 00:03:55,492
Don't ever go back
to the department, Colt!
73
00:03:55,576 --> 00:03:58,370
They'll use you up
and hang you out to dry on Christmas!
74
00:03:58,453 --> 00:04:00,831
You'll wind up sitting there
with your freezing family
75
00:04:00,914 --> 00:04:02,749
waiting for the phone to ring!
76
00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:04,835
Don't worry, Dad.
They'll call you.
77
00:04:04,918 --> 00:04:08,090
That's right.
And it'll be Bob Pogo
78
00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:11,383
on his hands and knees
begging you to come back.
79
00:04:11,466 --> 00:04:14,970
There's no reason for us to be worried.
Everything's gonna be fine.
80
00:04:15,721 --> 00:04:19,057
That airline cannot go on without you.
81
00:04:19,141 --> 00:04:20,309
Now enjoy your show.
82
00:04:21,602 --> 00:04:25,314
[shouts] Psychedelic dandelion!
I've been dosed!
83
00:04:25,397 --> 00:04:27,190
There's a lizard in my brain!
84
00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:28,150
[screaming]
85
00:04:32,529 --> 00:04:36,074
I'm Roger Dunbarton of Mohican Airways,
and we are back!
86
00:04:36,992 --> 00:04:39,828
Our labor troubles are over
and we're better than ever.
87
00:04:39,911 --> 00:04:40,996
I don't believe it.
88
00:04:41,079 --> 00:04:42,376
[together] Believe it!
89
00:04:43,498 --> 00:04:46,835
? The smoke signals never lie ?
90
00:04:46,918 --> 00:04:49,796
? We are ready to fly ?
91
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,299
? Mohican Airways ?
92
00:04:52,382 --> 00:04:55,344
? Your family in the sky ?
93
00:04:56,637 --> 00:04:59,890
Call today for a "reservation"!
94
00:04:59,973 --> 00:05:01,141
[groans]
95
00:05:02,976 --> 00:05:04,227
I'm going to bed.
96
00:05:05,646 --> 00:05:07,314
It's only 7:30.
97
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:11,151
- It's midnight in my mind.
- Frank...
98
00:05:11,234 --> 00:05:13,487
I liked him better when he yelled at us.
99
00:05:14,471 --> 00:05:17,966
[music]
100
00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:23,330
[sighs] God. Oh, God.
Why did he buy that damn TV?
101
00:05:23,413 --> 00:05:24,790
No.
102
00:05:24,873 --> 00:05:26,541
No!
103
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,543
Not again. Get... Go back!
104
00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:30,337
Frank. Frank.
105
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:32,839
Oh, my God, I just had the worst dream.
106
00:05:32,923 --> 00:05:34,424
You were having another kid.
107
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,843
Maureen's the last one, right?
Tell me she's the last one!
108
00:05:36,927 --> 00:05:37,886
She's the last one.
109
00:05:37,969 --> 00:05:39,346
Oh, thank God.
110
00:05:39,429 --> 00:05:41,765
It was horrible. This baby had teeth!
111
00:05:42,849 --> 00:05:43,850
What are you doing?
112
00:05:43,934 --> 00:05:45,811
I'm trying to figure out
which bill we can pay.
113
00:05:45,894 --> 00:05:49,398
Well, we got about eight inches
of free water falling right now.
114
00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:51,525
So, heat it is.
115
00:05:51,608 --> 00:05:55,195
Frank, we'll get through this.
We always do.
116
00:05:55,278 --> 00:05:57,656
I'm here for you. The kids love you.
117
00:05:57,739 --> 00:06:00,283
Mohican will realize their mistake
and take you back.
118
00:06:00,367 --> 00:06:03,078
And if they don't,
you'll get a better job somewhere else.
119
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:04,079
Yeah, sure.
120
00:06:06,415 --> 00:06:07,874
I'm gonna go downstairs.
121
00:06:07,958 --> 00:06:10,627
Oh, Sue, don't do that.
I haven't showered in days.
122
00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:12,838
I meant the kitchen, Frank.
123
00:06:12,921 --> 00:06:13,839
[groans]
124
00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:18,427
Get some sleep.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
125
00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:22,472
Only if I get hit by a bus.
126
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:24,307
[laughter on TV]
127
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,104
Swami says the answer is: "Perpetuate."
128
00:06:29,187 --> 00:06:30,480
[man] Perpetuate.
129
00:06:30,564 --> 00:06:34,401
The question: "How do they charge you
in a Vietnamese deli?"
130
00:06:34,484 --> 00:06:36,361
[laughter]
131
00:06:36,445 --> 00:06:41,305
Per-pet-u-ate!
Yes, those people are dog eaters!
132
00:06:41,658 --> 00:06:44,077
Bill. What are you doing up at this hour?
133
00:06:44,161 --> 00:06:45,704
I don't know, I'm just kind of worried.
134
00:06:45,787 --> 00:06:49,624
Well, I'm worried about you
not getting enough sleep.
135
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:52,586
Go to bed, honey. Sweet dreams.
136
00:07:00,802 --> 00:07:03,096
[both screaming]
137
00:07:05,557 --> 00:07:07,017
Leave, leave, leave!
138
00:07:08,810 --> 00:07:12,189
[Kevin] I don't know what you think
you saw! Wasn't doing nothing!
139
00:07:21,573 --> 00:07:22,908
Oh, Christ!
140
00:07:22,991 --> 00:07:26,620
Guten Morgen, Frank!
I'm off to work!
141
00:07:26,703 --> 00:07:28,330
All right, neighbor!
142
00:07:28,413 --> 00:07:31,666
Fucking asshole,
rubbing his charmed life in my face.
143
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:37,047
The rogue elephant will be euthanized
this Friday after the last show.
144
00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:41,927
Speaking of youth, last night's snow storm
has caused a rash of school closings
145
00:07:42,010 --> 00:07:43,637
- in the Quint City area.
- Here we go!
146
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,597
The following schools are closed:
147
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,309
Abraham Lincoln Elementary,
John F. Kennedy High School,
148
00:07:49,392 --> 00:07:52,896
Robert F. Kennedy High School,
Martin Luther King Middle School,
149
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:55,440
- Sharon Tate Elementary...
- Where's our school?
150
00:07:55,524 --> 00:07:58,068
- Come on, come on!
- Anton Cermak Tech,
151
00:07:58,151 --> 00:08:00,946
Medgar Evers Center
for Creative Non-Violence,
152
00:08:01,029 --> 00:08:04,741
Archduke Franz Ferdinand School
of Cosmetology, Huey Long High...
153
00:08:04,825 --> 00:08:05,867
All right!
154
00:08:05,951 --> 00:08:07,494
...Alfred P. Southwick Elementary...
155
00:08:07,577 --> 00:08:08,912
- Score!
- Yes!
156
00:08:08,995 --> 00:08:10,997
- What are you happy about?
- Snow day!
157
00:08:11,081 --> 00:08:12,624
You're not going to school?
158
00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:15,836
Aw, I was gonna drink
and fall asleep in the bathtub.
159
00:08:16,545 --> 00:08:18,255
- [phone rings]
- Oh!
160
00:08:18,338 --> 00:08:20,674
Oh, that's the call! It's Pogo!
Mohican needs me!
161
00:08:20,757 --> 00:08:23,009
Hang on, it might be Bolo.
Our band's up for a gig.
162
00:08:23,093 --> 00:08:24,886
Your band's shit, get out of the way!
163
00:08:26,137 --> 00:08:27,597
Frank Murphy speaking.
164
00:08:28,515 --> 00:08:30,475
Oh.
165
00:08:30,559 --> 00:08:32,811
Hello. Yeah, hang on.
166
00:08:32,894 --> 00:08:33,728
Ha ha.
167
00:08:33,812 --> 00:08:35,438
[grunts]
It's your mom's boss.
168
00:08:36,857 --> 00:08:39,442
- Hi, Vivian.
- Morning, Sue. How are things?
169
00:08:39,526 --> 00:08:43,238
Well, it's tough. Frank's
depression is getting worse and...
170
00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:47,033
Fantastic. No deliveries for you today,
thanks to the snow.
171
00:08:47,117 --> 00:08:50,495
Some idiot crashed a school bus
off the Ferndale bridge.
172
00:08:50,579 --> 00:08:52,831
[gasps] That's terrible.
173
00:08:52,914 --> 00:08:55,375
I know, just imagine the traffic.
174
00:08:56,543 --> 00:09:00,422
Hey, hey. It's over.
I got mine.
175
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,341
Of course, tomorrow you'll
have to make up the deliveries
176
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:06,177
you missed today and
do your regular route.
177
00:09:06,261 --> 00:09:09,056
Oh. Right, sure.
Well, either way,
178
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:10,765
it'll be nice to have
a day with the kids and Frank.
179
00:09:10,849 --> 00:09:14,644
Well, that's a positive outlook.
Who's Frank?
180
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:17,355
- He's my...
- Don't care. [line disconnects]
181
00:09:23,945 --> 00:09:26,656
Do you have to fucking chew so loud?
182
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:29,659
Excuse me for having a resonant skull.
183
00:09:29,743 --> 00:09:32,078
Good news!
I don't have to work after all!
184
00:09:32,162 --> 00:09:33,914
We've been handed a gift!
185
00:09:33,997 --> 00:09:36,791
A snow day we can spend
together as a family.
186
00:09:36,875 --> 00:09:38,126
[groans]
187
00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:40,503
Don't you "agh" me.
188
00:09:40,587 --> 00:09:45,091
We are all gonna have fun together
at the sled hill!
189
00:09:45,175 --> 00:09:46,676
- Yeah!
- Sledding!
190
00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,219
You guys have a good time.
191
00:09:48,303 --> 00:09:52,349
I'm gonna curl up in an afghan
and slowly cry myself into a nap.
192
00:09:52,432 --> 00:09:54,726
No, no. Uh-uh.
193
00:09:54,809 --> 00:09:58,730
You are going to leave this house
and enjoy the day with your family.
194
00:09:58,813 --> 00:10:00,190
I can't. Pogo might call.
195
00:10:00,273 --> 00:10:02,442
Frank, I'm your biggest cheerleader,
196
00:10:02,525 --> 00:10:05,403
but it's been three weeks
and Bob Pogo has not called yet.
197
00:10:05,487 --> 00:10:08,448
- And I doubt he'll call today.
- Your cheerleading needs work, Sue.
198
00:10:08,531 --> 00:10:12,994
And, if by some miracle he does call,
we have an answering machine.
199
00:10:13,078 --> 00:10:15,872
Come on, you've been a ghost around here
since Christmas.
200
00:10:15,956 --> 00:10:19,542
Now snap out of it
and be a part of this family again.
201
00:10:19,626 --> 00:10:20,585
[sighs]
202
00:10:20,669 --> 00:10:24,089
- Okay, fine, I'll go sledding.
- Good.
203
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:27,384
Because your attitude is starting
to affect the children.
204
00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:29,010
Just look at Bill.
205
00:10:29,552 --> 00:10:32,681
Come on, come on.
What's wrong with you?
206
00:10:43,733 --> 00:10:46,194
Oh, it's beautiful.
207
00:10:46,277 --> 00:10:49,364
Murphy family fun day starts now!
208
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,952
- Ah, Christ, Bill. Maybe he won't notice.
- [Vic] Hey, Frank!
209
00:10:54,035 --> 00:10:55,912
Hey!
210
00:10:55,996 --> 00:10:58,832
Looks like your boy dinged my dangler.
211
00:10:58,915 --> 00:11:00,792
I thought that was my job.
212
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,168
[chuckles]
213
00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:03,586
You sexy thing.
214
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:06,339
Excuse me. Vic?
215
00:11:07,424 --> 00:11:09,843
Sorry about your van.
I'll pay for the damages.
216
00:11:09,926 --> 00:11:13,263
I can't take bread from my main man
who lost his gig.
217
00:11:13,346 --> 00:11:16,182
I remember once I was
out of work for a whole winter.
218
00:11:16,266 --> 00:11:19,644
Oh, wait, that was a vacation. Hawaii.
219
00:11:19,728 --> 00:11:22,814
Hey, Frank, you should go to Hawaii, man!
220
00:11:22,897 --> 00:11:24,232
It'll do you wonders.
221
00:11:24,315 --> 00:11:29,070
See a volcano, drink a volcano,
be a volcano.
222
00:11:30,238 --> 00:11:32,031
Have fun in Hawaii, Frank!
223
00:11:32,115 --> 00:11:34,325
This isn't my snowmobile!
224
00:11:35,618 --> 00:11:38,163
He's such a kind soul.
225
00:11:38,246 --> 00:11:39,956
He's a drug addict, Sue.
226
00:11:40,039 --> 00:11:43,042
This day sucks knob already.
I'll find a ride home.
227
00:11:46,296 --> 00:11:48,506
No fair. How come he can leave?
228
00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:51,176
Nobody's leaving! We just got here.
229
00:11:51,259 --> 00:11:54,053
Our fun is only starting.
Let's hit that hill!
230
00:11:54,137 --> 00:11:55,054
[both] Yay!
231
00:11:55,138 --> 00:11:57,307
Last one to the bottom is a rotten...
Fuck!
232
00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:59,726
Ice-ball!
[laughs]
233
00:11:59,809 --> 00:12:01,227
Goddamn it!
234
00:12:01,311 --> 00:12:03,813
If you cross my path today, Murphy,
235
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:06,858
I will scalp you, shit in the scalp,
236
00:12:06,941 --> 00:12:10,361
and slap it back on your head
so everybody calls you "shit wig" and...
237
00:12:10,445 --> 00:12:13,364
- Hey!
- Oh, man, don't hurt me!
238
00:12:13,448 --> 00:12:15,992
Yeah! You better run from me!
239
00:12:16,075 --> 00:12:19,704
I'm afraid of your wife,
you out-of-work pussyfart!
240
00:12:20,288 --> 00:12:22,499
You see that, Sue? Everybody knows.
241
00:12:23,374 --> 00:12:25,502
I can't even intimidate children anymore.
242
00:12:25,585 --> 00:12:28,338
Don't let him bother you, Frank.
He'll be in jail soon.
243
00:12:28,421 --> 00:12:31,174
We can still have fun. Smile a little!
244
00:12:31,257 --> 00:12:34,344
I'm trying, but I'm sick of all these
busybodies looking at me
245
00:12:34,427 --> 00:12:35,720
like I have a fatal disease.
246
00:12:35,804 --> 00:12:39,641
"Oh, you poor man,
how's the job hunt going?"
247
00:12:39,724 --> 00:12:42,143
"I don't know, lady,
how's your saggy tits going?"
248
00:12:42,227 --> 00:12:44,646
It's all in your head. People love you.
249
00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:46,397
Come on, cheer up.
250
00:12:46,481 --> 00:12:50,443
Look around you...
new fallen snow, you're with your family.
251
00:12:50,527 --> 00:12:52,987
I just know this is going
to be a great day.
252
00:12:53,071 --> 00:12:55,698
Sue? Sue Murphy?
253
00:12:55,782 --> 00:12:58,284
Oh, fuck me! Hi, Ginny!
254
00:12:58,368 --> 00:12:59,994
Oh, hi, Frank.
255
00:13:00,078 --> 00:13:02,872
How's the job hunt going, you poor thing?
256
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,165
Any nibbles?
257
00:13:04,249 --> 00:13:06,251
I should've died in Korea.
258
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:08,711
Go play with Maureen, that's fun!
259
00:13:09,629 --> 00:13:12,215
Sorry about Frank.
He hasn't been himself lately.
260
00:13:12,298 --> 00:13:16,511
That's all right. Failure can break down
even the strongest man.
261
00:13:16,594 --> 00:13:19,430
How are you? Must have been
a difficult Christmas after, you know,
262
00:13:19,514 --> 00:13:21,099
Greg abandoned you and the kids.
263
00:13:21,182 --> 00:13:23,101
Oh, no, we're back together!
264
00:13:23,184 --> 00:13:26,020
Greg took a Catholic cruise
with Father Pat
265
00:13:26,104 --> 00:13:29,065
and came back a different man.
266
00:13:29,148 --> 00:13:30,817
We're going at it like newlyweds!
267
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,069
[moaning]
268
00:13:33,152 --> 00:13:35,488
Well, that's a dirty mouth.
269
00:13:35,572 --> 00:13:39,367
Mister, I'm gonna shut you up.
270
00:13:41,494 --> 00:13:43,288
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, hi, stud!
271
00:13:44,372 --> 00:13:46,958
Dear Lord, give me strength.
272
00:13:47,041 --> 00:13:48,042
[exhales]
273
00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:50,044
Vagina, vagina, vagina!
274
00:13:50,128 --> 00:13:52,630
Hey, baby! Looking attractive!
275
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,716
Christ, I hate it here.
276
00:13:54,799 --> 00:13:56,593
Bunch of kids. No chicks.
277
00:13:56,676 --> 00:13:59,804
Yeah, like you'd know
what to do with one, you virgin!
278
00:13:59,888 --> 00:14:00,847
I know more than you!
279
00:14:00,930 --> 00:14:04,225
Are you forgetting about that fox
at the lake I boned all last summer?
280
00:14:04,309 --> 00:14:05,935
How come we never met her?
281
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:09,314
I told you she died of leukemia.
282
00:14:09,397 --> 00:14:10,732
[scoffs] Last time you said it was polio.
283
00:14:10,815 --> 00:14:13,610
Polio is a gateway disease
to leukemia, stupid.
284
00:14:14,569 --> 00:14:17,113
Hey, look, Claire's here.
285
00:14:17,196 --> 00:14:19,699
Oh, she's so fine.
286
00:14:19,782 --> 00:14:22,243
Why don't you fuck her, Kevin?
287
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:24,204
I blew my shot with her.
288
00:14:24,287 --> 00:14:28,124
She was just about to touch it when
my stupid brother boner-blocked me.
289
00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:29,834
I'll never get laid.
290
00:14:29,918 --> 00:14:32,837
Hey, you know,
I heard about this loose girl
291
00:14:32,921 --> 00:14:35,381
that goes to Roberto Clemente High.
292
00:14:35,465 --> 00:14:38,885
She asks you to come to her house
for a free haircut.
293
00:14:38,968 --> 00:14:41,638
And then she fucks you.
294
00:14:41,721 --> 00:14:43,973
Well, that's something. What's her name?
295
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:47,143
- I don't know. Haircut Girl?
- That's no help!
296
00:14:47,227 --> 00:14:49,229
Oh, fuck it. I'm gonna go talk to Claire.
297
00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:52,148
- No, you're not.
- Oh, yeah? Watch me.
298
00:14:52,232 --> 00:14:54,192
I will not die a virgin.
299
00:14:54,817 --> 00:14:55,985
Ow! My dick!
300
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:59,697
Goddamn it, Maureen. Don't sit like that.
It isn't ladylike.
301
00:14:59,781 --> 00:15:01,241
I don't want to be ladylike.
302
00:15:01,324 --> 00:15:03,576
Yes, you do. That's why you're joining
the Honeybee Scouts,
303
00:15:03,660 --> 00:15:06,663
so you can play with normal kids
instead of those two animals.
304
00:15:06,746 --> 00:15:09,082
I'm getting cleaned!
305
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:12,335
I don't want to be a Honeybee Scout.
306
00:15:12,418 --> 00:15:14,462
I like rockets and computers.
307
00:15:14,545 --> 00:15:16,547
So marry an astronaut.
308
00:15:16,631 --> 00:15:19,509
But for now, go play with those girls
down there doing girl stuff.
309
00:15:19,592 --> 00:15:20,677
Dad!
310
00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:29,644
- What're you guys doing?
- Waking up fish.
311
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,188
Cool!
312
00:15:32,272 --> 00:15:33,481
I give up.
313
00:15:33,564 --> 00:15:36,359
Christ, she's got bigger balls than Bill.
314
00:15:36,442 --> 00:15:39,153
Fight for my pleasure!
315
00:15:39,237 --> 00:15:41,155
[crying]
316
00:15:41,239 --> 00:15:43,616
That jerk ruins everything fun.
317
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,702
We have to stand up to him this year.
318
00:15:45,785 --> 00:15:49,038
I just curl into a ball
and sing "Hot Cross Buns."
319
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:52,125
No! There's two of us and one of him.
320
00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:55,795
If we both fought him at the same time,
there's no way he...
321
00:15:55,878 --> 00:15:57,005
Ow!
322
00:15:57,088 --> 00:15:58,965
That one had a turd in it!
323
00:15:59,048 --> 00:16:00,258
Oh, dear.
324
00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:02,051
? Hot cross buns ?
325
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,886
? Hot cross buns ?
326
00:16:03,970 --> 00:16:07,724
- Hey, Claire.
- Oh, hey.
327
00:16:10,018 --> 00:16:11,436
Cut it out!
328
00:16:11,519 --> 00:16:15,023
- Suckie, suckie, suckie. Suck it.
- Cut it out!
329
00:16:16,649 --> 00:16:20,903
- You're doing good.
- I know. I've been on ice before.
330
00:16:20,987 --> 00:16:23,906
I like your army jacket.
Is it from a real dead guy?
331
00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:27,734
[laughs] You're funny.
Hey, you want to come back
332
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,996
to my house
and watch TV or something?
333
00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:33,207
- Really?
- My mom punched a cop
334
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,418
so she's gone for a few days.
335
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:38,546
Uh...
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
336
00:16:38,629 --> 00:16:39,839
Thank you so much!
337
00:16:39,922 --> 00:16:41,466
? One a-penny ?
338
00:16:41,549 --> 00:16:42,550
? Two a-penny ?
339
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:44,302
? Hot cross buns ?
340
00:16:45,261 --> 00:16:46,679
[screaming]
341
00:16:46,763 --> 00:16:49,015
Leave us alone, Jimmy!
342
00:16:49,098 --> 00:16:52,226
Oh, one lucky punch
and you think you're tough now?
343
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:53,853
It wasn't lucky.
344
00:16:54,979 --> 00:16:58,066
It's such a blessing
to have a husband who's so happy.
345
00:16:58,149 --> 00:16:59,567
He's always singing.
346
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:03,237
- He loves to color my hair and do my...
- Ginny, please stop.
347
00:17:03,321 --> 00:17:07,241
I'm really glad you and Greg are happy,
but we are not doing well, okay?
348
00:17:07,325 --> 00:17:09,077
Frank's depressed right now.
349
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,788
Maybe he should take a Pray Away cruise.
350
00:17:11,871 --> 00:17:14,457
We can barely afford
to put gas in the car right now.
351
00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:17,418
It's just, he's really down in the dumps.
352
00:17:17,502 --> 00:17:21,464
- He's usually so full of life.
- Well, that's one way of putting it.
353
00:17:21,547 --> 00:17:23,633
I just want my husband back.
354
00:17:24,050 --> 00:17:25,134
[ice cracking]
355
00:17:26,594 --> 00:17:27,595
Maureen!
356
00:17:29,138 --> 00:17:30,807
Maureen!
357
00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:35,311
Them fish look like mama
after she takes her arm vitamins.
358
00:17:35,395 --> 00:17:39,440
Maureen, get off the goddamn ice!
You're gonna fall through!
359
00:17:41,275 --> 00:17:43,528
You forgot your pussy!
360
00:17:44,112 --> 00:17:45,071
[grunts]
361
00:17:47,532 --> 00:17:52,078
[screams] No! Daddy, water!
Daddy, water!
362
00:17:52,829 --> 00:17:54,622
It's okay, buddy, it's okay.
363
00:17:54,705 --> 00:17:58,835
Only your butt got wet,
what the fuck is wrong with you?
364
00:17:58,918 --> 00:18:01,838
He almost drowned as a baby,
you heartless whore!
365
00:18:01,921 --> 00:18:03,714
I did? [sobs]
366
00:18:03,798 --> 00:18:06,801
Daddy, Billy kicked me
in the eye a little.
367
00:18:06,884 --> 00:18:08,848
Jesus Christ!
368
00:18:08,883 --> 00:18:09,679
[screams]
369
00:18:09,762 --> 00:18:11,764
- Daddy, water! Daddy, water!
- Frank?
370
00:18:11,848 --> 00:18:14,267
Sue, start the car,
we're going to the hospital! [music]
371
00:18:14,350 --> 00:18:17,662
You're grounded! Out of my way!
My daughter's bleeding to death!
372
00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:20,481
Wait for me, Mommy!
373
00:18:23,568 --> 00:18:25,903
All right, my daughter
needs a doctor right away!
374
00:18:25,987 --> 00:18:29,157
Listen, take a seat, fill this out
and we'll get to you as soon as we can.
375
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,451
Oh, no. No, no, no, no!
I don't fill things out.
376
00:18:31,452 --> 00:18:33,453
You fill things out.
She needs a doctor.
377
00:18:33,536 --> 00:18:35,455
Yeah, how about she waits
like the rest of us?
378
00:18:35,538 --> 00:18:36,914
How about I take the
brake off that thing
379
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,291
and send you right out into the snow?
380
00:18:38,374 --> 00:18:40,593
My daughter needs a doctor right now!
381
00:18:41,961 --> 00:18:43,171
Daddy, wa-wa.
382
00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:45,548
Oh, for corn sakes.
That boy has hypothermia.
383
00:18:45,631 --> 00:18:47,925
Yeah, he'll be fine.
Here's a blanket.
384
00:18:48,009 --> 00:18:49,051
Ah! My foot!
385
00:18:49,135 --> 00:18:52,180
Relax, you fucking Mary!
Get my daughter a doctor!
386
00:18:52,263 --> 00:18:54,911
I will have you thrown
out of here, mister,
387
00:18:54,912 --> 00:18:57,560
if you don't get your
emotions under control.
388
00:18:57,643 --> 00:19:01,439
My emotions?
You mean my love for my own child?
389
00:19:01,522 --> 00:19:03,649
Let me tell you something... "Beatrice."
390
00:19:03,733 --> 00:19:05,526
I don't know what country you're from,
391
00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:08,404
but I didn't die for five minutes
on a Korean battlefield
392
00:19:08,488 --> 00:19:11,908
to come home and be disrespected
by a woman like you.
393
00:19:11,991 --> 00:19:13,659
You think because I'm unemployed,
394
00:19:13,743 --> 00:19:16,370
you can just shove me
and my family to the back of the line?
395
00:19:16,454 --> 00:19:18,456
Well, not on my watch!
396
00:19:18,539 --> 00:19:20,791
If you don't get her a doctor right now,
397
00:19:20,875 --> 00:19:24,128
before all these other
low-life pieces of shit,
398
00:19:24,212 --> 00:19:27,757
then I will follow you to whatever home
for dried-up old hags you live in,
399
00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:31,052
slap the cat food out of your mouth,
grab you by your camel hump
400
00:19:31,135 --> 00:19:34,057
and put you through that fucking wall!
401
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:35,515
Oh, boy.
402
00:19:35,516 --> 00:19:40,772
[music]
403
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:42,998
- There's our hero.
- Wha...
404
00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:45,399
- What happened?
- You passed out.
405
00:19:45,483 --> 00:19:48,444
And then everybody in the waiting room
started clapping.
406
00:19:48,528 --> 00:19:53,074
Well, the main thing is you're all right
and Maureen's gonna be fine.
407
00:19:53,157 --> 00:19:54,992
Daddy, I'm a pirate!
408
00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:58,579
Oh, for Christ sakes, Maureen,
girls can't be pirates!
409
00:19:59,622 --> 00:20:01,207
You're back!
410
00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:07,505
Dad, it's so cool
when you scream at other people.
411
00:20:07,588 --> 00:20:11,425
My little girl's eye is more important
than some crazy old man's foot.
412
00:20:11,509 --> 00:20:13,636
- He's fine!
- He died, Dad.
413
00:20:14,762 --> 00:20:18,099
Well, he should have spoke up!
Squeaky wheel!
414
00:20:18,182 --> 00:20:20,226
You're my squeaky wheel.
415
00:20:20,309 --> 00:20:22,270
And you were magnificent.
416
00:20:22,353 --> 00:20:24,939
Sometimes a man's got to do
what a man does.
417
00:20:25,022 --> 00:20:28,568
And a man feeds his family!
I'm taking you all to dinner!
418
00:20:28,651 --> 00:20:29,986
- Yeah!
- All right!
419
00:20:30,069 --> 00:20:31,862
Frank, a restaurant?
420
00:20:31,946 --> 00:20:34,323
Isn't that a little extravagant right now?
421
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,450
Oh, we're fine, Sue.
422
00:20:36,534 --> 00:20:38,995
This might be the adrenaline shot
to the heart speaking,
423
00:20:39,078 --> 00:20:40,788
but I feel great again!
424
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:44,875
- Ooh, can we eat there?
- [Frank] No, that's a titty bar now, Bill.
425
00:20:44,959 --> 00:20:49,171
Your old man is gonna take you
to the fanciest place in town.
426
00:20:56,304 --> 00:20:58,639
And so, you know,
I had nothing better to do,
427
00:20:58,723 --> 00:21:01,642
TV was on the fritz,
so I figured, yeah, why not?
428
00:21:01,726 --> 00:21:03,227
I might as well get married.
429
00:21:03,311 --> 00:21:04,186
[all laugh]
430
00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:07,106
It's funny when you pretend
you hate each other.
431
00:21:07,189 --> 00:21:08,524
Tell us the real story.
432
00:21:08,608 --> 00:21:12,153
- It was such a lovely summer day...
- I'll take this whenever you're ready.
433
00:21:12,236 --> 00:21:15,615
- Thank you.
- Your father looked so handsome.
434
00:21:15,698 --> 00:21:19,327
Grampa Joe walked me down the aisle
and I wore my mother's dress,
435
00:21:19,410 --> 00:21:23,247
little Cindy was the flower girl,
Monsignor Kreger married us.
436
00:21:23,331 --> 00:21:25,666
- Who?
- He's Father Pat's father. Long story.
437
00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:30,046
And of course I didn't know then
that you three angels were coming.
438
00:21:30,129 --> 00:21:31,839
But I looked at your father
439
00:21:31,922 --> 00:21:33,924
- and I'll never forget...
- Excuse me, miss? Miss?
440
00:21:34,008 --> 00:21:36,010
- Yes, sir?
- What's this?
441
00:21:36,093 --> 00:21:39,639
Three Plantation Dogs,
an Uncle Tom Turkey Platter,
442
00:21:39,722 --> 00:21:42,016
White Meat Supreme, Two Clucks Clams...
443
00:21:42,099 --> 00:21:45,353
Okay, you charged us for eight drinks.
There's only five of us.
444
00:21:45,436 --> 00:21:48,397
- Refills are free.
- Oh, yes, they used to be,
445
00:21:48,481 --> 00:21:51,984
but we changed our policy
a few years back.
446
00:21:52,068 --> 00:21:54,737
Well, I wasn't notified.
You should've put that in writing.
447
00:21:54,820 --> 00:22:00,076
Oh, we did, sir. It's on the wall, on
the table, and from what I've been told,
448
00:22:00,159 --> 00:22:02,203
it's facing you when you use the urinal.
449
00:22:02,286 --> 00:22:05,706
Well, I didn't come here to read,
I came here to eat!
450
00:22:05,790 --> 00:22:08,417
Now, take these off of my check,
you bunch of chiselers!
451
00:22:13,881 --> 00:22:16,926
Oh, oh, oh. I understand.
452
00:22:17,593 --> 00:22:22,765
If you're having a difficult time
right now, we have an "indigent can."
453
00:22:22,848 --> 00:22:24,892
It's near the register.
454
00:22:24,975 --> 00:22:28,813
- I'm no charity case.
- Oh, of course not, you're a human being.
455
00:22:28,896 --> 00:22:30,564
But between you and me,
456
00:22:30,648 --> 00:22:33,651
we throw the extra food
in the trash every night,
457
00:22:33,734 --> 00:22:35,444
so if you get here before midnight,
458
00:22:35,528 --> 00:22:38,322
you won't have to fight
the other vagrants for it.
459
00:22:38,406 --> 00:22:40,366
Daddy, do we have to eat garbage?
460
00:22:40,449 --> 00:22:42,284
Nobody's eating garbage, princess!
461
00:22:42,368 --> 00:22:43,869
Now, let me tell you something, lady...
462
00:22:43,953 --> 00:22:46,789
How dare you insinuate
my husband can't pay!
463
00:22:46,872 --> 00:22:48,958
- Sue, butt out.
- He can pay for this!
464
00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:52,253
- I can?
- Open your wallet. You've got it.
465
00:22:52,336 --> 00:22:56,132
Oh. Goddamn right I have it!
Here!
466
00:22:56,841 --> 00:23:00,177
We're leaving,
and we will never drink your
467
00:23:00,178 --> 00:23:02,304
overpriced "Runaway Root Beers" again.
468
00:23:02,388 --> 00:23:06,058
But here's a nice tip because
you gave us very good service.
469
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:16,861
Where did that money come from?
470
00:23:16,944 --> 00:23:20,322
- Just be glad I had it.
- Thank you.
471
00:23:20,406 --> 00:23:22,408
It's okay. We're a team.
472
00:23:23,951 --> 00:23:25,870
What the hell are we gonna do?
473
00:23:25,953 --> 00:23:29,331
I know one thing.
We're gonna put on a brave face.
474
00:23:29,415 --> 00:23:33,127
It's best that the kids
don't know how bad things are right now.
475
00:23:33,711 --> 00:23:37,465
We... are... fucked.
476
00:23:44,513 --> 00:23:47,892
Ooh, it's colder in here
than it is outside.
477
00:23:55,316 --> 00:23:56,734
[clears throat]
478
00:23:56,817 --> 00:23:59,236
Okay, Kevin, I'm coming in now!
479
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:01,503
[Kevin] I'm not doing anything!
480
00:24:28,224 --> 00:24:29,600
[beeps]
481
00:24:29,683 --> 00:24:31,894
[robotic voice] One new message.
482
00:24:31,977 --> 00:24:34,522
Frank, it's Bob Pogo.
483
00:24:34,605 --> 00:24:38,734
We used to work together
at Mohican... Airways.
484
00:24:38,817 --> 00:24:42,530
It's an airline... down at the airport.
485
00:24:42,613 --> 00:24:46,408
Aw, shit, you know who I am!
Here's the thing...
486
00:24:46,492 --> 00:24:50,162
- Is somebody there?
- Jesus, Dolores, hang up the extension!
487
00:24:50,246 --> 00:24:53,082
[Dolores] You don't have to
bite my head off.
488
00:24:53,165 --> 00:24:56,502
[Bob] I'm sorry, dear. Don't cry.
489
00:24:56,585 --> 00:24:59,129
- So, Frank...
- [Dolores] Apology accepted.
490
00:24:59,213 --> 00:25:02,633
[Bob] For God's sakes,
you're the only woman for me,
491
00:25:02,716 --> 00:25:05,427
now hang up the fucking phone!
492
00:25:07,638 --> 00:25:12,601
Listen, your skills are missed
around here, Frank. I need you.
493
00:25:12,685 --> 00:25:14,019
Oh, my God.
494
00:25:14,103 --> 00:25:17,856
So, how about you come see me
at the airport tomorrow?
495
00:25:17,940 --> 00:25:20,568
It'll be great to have you back.
496
00:25:21,819 --> 00:25:23,070
[squeals]
497
00:25:23,153 --> 00:25:26,824
Yes! Yes!
Oh, God, yes!
498
00:25:26,907 --> 00:25:28,909
All right, Frank.
499
00:25:28,993 --> 00:25:31,245
? Mohican Airways ?
500
00:25:31,328 --> 00:25:33,789
? Our flaming arrows are back ?
501
00:25:34,623 --> 00:25:39,128
? With friendly cheerful
service on the attack ?
502
00:25:39,211 --> 00:25:41,839
? From Erie's glowing shores ?
503
00:25:41,922 --> 00:25:44,466
? To the peaks of Syracuse ?
504
00:25:44,550 --> 00:25:47,094
? We'll fly chiefs, braves, and squaws ?
505
00:25:47,177 --> 00:25:50,139
? And the tiniest papoose ?
506
00:25:50,222 --> 00:25:52,808
? The smoke signals never lie ?
507
00:25:53,392 --> 00:25:55,561
? We are ready to fly ?
508
00:25:56,186 --> 00:25:58,147
? Mohican Airways ?
509
00:25:58,230 --> 00:26:01,108
? Your family in the sky ?
510
00:26:01,509 --> 00:26:06,073
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511
00:26:06,123 --> 00:26:10,673
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