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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,535 --> 00:00:07,265 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:10,395 ['70s rock music playing] 3 00:00:23,658 --> 00:00:24,658 _ 4 00:00:24,659 --> 00:00:27,078 [record screeches] Do you want to tell me what this is? 5 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:30,874 - What? - This. This failure notice from your school? 6 00:00:30,957 --> 00:00:33,292 If you're an expert on what it is, why did you have to ask me? 7 00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:35,420 Don't start. Honestly, Kevin, 8 00:00:35,503 --> 00:00:37,797 you're in danger of failing every class you have. 9 00:00:37,881 --> 00:00:39,298 [mumbles] Not every class. I'm acing speech. 10 00:00:39,382 --> 00:00:42,134 - What did you say? - I said I'm acing speech! 11 00:00:42,218 --> 00:00:44,971 Aah! Your father's gonna have an absolute stroke, 12 00:00:45,055 --> 00:00:46,932 and you can clean him with a sponge. 13 00:00:47,015 --> 00:00:48,892 - Fine, I will! - [Maureen] Mom! 14 00:00:48,975 --> 00:00:50,685 [loud thudding] [Maureen shouts] 15 00:00:50,769 --> 00:00:52,353 [both grunting] 16 00:00:53,145 --> 00:00:55,356 - Leave your sister alone. - All right, all right, all right! 17 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,525 Can't I have one day without any upsetment? 18 00:00:57,609 --> 00:00:59,318 I'm gonna ride to the railroad tracks. 19 00:00:59,402 --> 00:01:00,987 - Oh, no, you are not. - Yeah, I am. 20 00:01:01,071 --> 00:01:02,739 Honestly, do you think you get to live your life 21 00:01:02,822 --> 00:01:04,908 not doing anything your mother wants... [all arguing] 22 00:01:04,991 --> 00:01:07,994 ...not following any of your mother's rules, just to make her go insane? 23 00:01:08,078 --> 00:01:09,871 You are gonna make me go completely insane. 24 00:01:09,955 --> 00:01:12,958 That is what's gonna happen. [car sputters, stops outside] 25 00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:14,500 Dad's home. 26 00:01:16,419 --> 00:01:18,421 [Susan] We will not say a word about this to your father 27 00:01:18,504 --> 00:01:21,633 until after supper and his food has settled. 28 00:01:21,716 --> 00:01:24,298 - Fine, I'll wait till he farts. - [softly] Lower your voice! 29 00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:26,596 [sighs] 30 00:01:28,347 --> 00:01:31,726 Ah! Son of a bitch! Fuckin' American cars. 31 00:01:31,810 --> 00:01:33,895 No wonder the Japs are beating us. [Major barking] 32 00:01:33,979 --> 00:01:37,273 Ah, hey, buddy. At least somebody in this family gives a shit about me. 33 00:01:37,356 --> 00:01:38,190 [rhythmic thudding] 34 00:01:38,274 --> 00:01:39,776 Hey, stop it. Get off. Get... [whining] 35 00:01:39,859 --> 00:01:43,237 Get off me. Goddamn it, Major. [Major barks] 36 00:01:43,321 --> 00:01:44,823 [motorcycle rumbling] [Vic] Hey, Frank! 37 00:01:44,906 --> 00:01:47,366 Hey, you got big plans for the weekend? 38 00:01:47,450 --> 00:01:50,829 I'm taking my boat to the lake, gonna do a little wave humping. 39 00:01:50,912 --> 00:01:54,165 [sighs] You should come along and, uh... we'll do some humping together. 40 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,250 Right on! 41 00:01:56,334 --> 00:01:59,754 Oh, hiya, honey. Mm. How was your day? 42 00:01:59,838 --> 00:02:03,382 Ah, it was a rough one. I had to help Ed's widow clean out his locker. 43 00:02:03,466 --> 00:02:06,240 - Oh, that poor woman. - One minute everything's fine, 44 00:02:06,241 --> 00:02:08,086 Ed's walking around the tarmac with his 45 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:09,931 head attached to his body like it always is. 46 00:02:10,015 --> 00:02:12,517 The next thing you know... Ugh. 47 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:16,646 - Chair. - The dick-tator has spoken. 48 00:02:16,729 --> 00:02:19,024 Oh, don't start with me, you fuckin' disappointment. 49 00:02:19,107 --> 00:02:21,567 I had to hose a man's face off the tarmac today, all right? 50 00:02:21,651 --> 00:02:23,778 I need a little peace. TV. 51 00:02:24,236 --> 00:02:26,739 [gunfire on TV] 52 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,450 Damn, Colt! 53 00:02:29,534 --> 00:02:31,911 Them Fong Brothers are gonna turn you into teriyaki! 54 00:02:31,995 --> 00:02:34,622 - They'll try, Fruity. - What you gonna do? 55 00:02:34,706 --> 00:02:38,543 Sometimes a man's gotta do... what a man does. [cracking knuckles] 56 00:02:39,752 --> 00:02:40,795 Hold this. 57 00:02:44,549 --> 00:02:47,760 You a rearry bad man, Cort Ruger! 58 00:02:47,844 --> 00:02:49,512 Kung fu! 59 00:02:49,595 --> 00:02:52,098 You two dumplings are about to get pan-fried. 60 00:02:52,182 --> 00:02:53,599 No substitutions. 61 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,852 [men yelling] 62 00:02:55,935 --> 00:02:58,980 Oh, no! Me being burned alive! 63 00:02:59,064 --> 00:03:01,941 And once again, justice is served. 64 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,070 How can you watch this? It's barbaric. 65 00:03:05,153 --> 00:03:07,989 It's art. Beautiful, beautiful art. [man on TV screams] 66 00:03:08,073 --> 00:03:09,991 My skin is bubbling! 67 00:03:10,075 --> 00:03:12,340 Hey, I got an idea. If you don't like this, 68 00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:15,205 go to your room and watch whatever you want on your TV. 69 00:03:15,287 --> 00:03:17,351 Oh, that's right, you don't have one 70 00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,292 'cause it's my fuckin' house. [cackles] 71 00:03:20,376 --> 00:03:22,962 That's real funny, Dad. You know what else is funny? 72 00:03:23,046 --> 00:03:26,132 - Aside from your haircut? What? - [Kevin] This. 73 00:03:26,216 --> 00:03:28,009 - Bella Abzug? - No. 74 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:31,387 - This! - What the hell is this? 75 00:03:31,470 --> 00:03:34,182 - Kevin! - He's flunking out and you knew about this? 76 00:03:34,265 --> 00:03:38,103 - I wanted your food to settle! - Unbelievable. Unbelievable! 77 00:03:38,186 --> 00:03:41,189 You got one job: pay attention and pass your classes. 78 00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:44,358 - That's two jobs! - No son of mine is gonna flunk out. 79 00:03:44,442 --> 00:03:46,236 I don't care. I hate school! 80 00:03:46,318 --> 00:03:48,362 Well, I hate my life, but I keep on doing it! 81 00:03:48,446 --> 00:03:50,615 I got a mortgage, I got dependents, 82 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:54,493 and I gotta go downtown every damn day to run that airport! 83 00:03:54,577 --> 00:03:57,363 Please, you're just a baggage handler. 84 00:04:02,168 --> 00:04:05,279 What the fuck did you just call me? 85 00:04:05,797 --> 00:04:06,923 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 86 00:04:07,006 --> 00:04:10,635 Frank, go hit your boxing bag. Kevin, room. 87 00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,180 [door opens] [Frank] Ah, shit! 88 00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:16,515 Who the fuck puts a car in a garage? 89 00:04:16,599 --> 00:04:19,644 I'm sorry, I thought you were gonna be happy tonight. 90 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:21,395 Never assume that! 91 00:04:21,479 --> 00:04:24,064 [up-tempo song playing] 92 00:04:57,723 --> 00:05:00,268 [grunts, screams] 93 00:05:06,345 --> 00:05:09,526 1x02 - "Saturday Bloody Saturday" 94 00:05:09,527 --> 00:05:11,904 [birds twittering] 95 00:05:12,655 --> 00:05:14,240 Oh... [sighing] 96 00:05:14,324 --> 00:05:18,048 - This is nice, Sue. - Mm. Can you even remember 97 00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:21,998 the last time we just spent a whole Saturday in bed? 98 00:05:22,081 --> 00:05:24,542 [Maureen shouts] Dad! 99 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,252 Nope. 100 00:05:26,961 --> 00:05:28,004 Here we go. 101 00:05:28,087 --> 00:05:30,298 - Frank. - What? 102 00:05:30,381 --> 00:05:34,260 - As beautiful as it is... - [chuckles] Right. 103 00:05:38,139 --> 00:05:40,725 Ew. Daddy, Bill flicked his cereal at me. 104 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,643 - Knock it off, Bill. - She started it. 105 00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:46,105 Well, I started you, and I can end you. Be nice to your sister. 106 00:05:46,189 --> 00:05:48,733 Someday you'll be sleeping on her couch after your first divorce. 107 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:51,339 Frank, I know you have some things to do today, but please 108 00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:53,863 don't forget, this is my big day to organize the orders. 109 00:05:53,946 --> 00:05:55,031 Oh, right. I'm on it. 110 00:05:58,117 --> 00:05:59,326 Kids, don't bother your mom today. 111 00:05:59,327 --> 00:06:00,995 She's got important work to do, packing up 112 00:06:00,996 --> 00:06:02,663 that shit she sells around the neighborhood. 113 00:06:02,747 --> 00:06:05,415 - It's called Plast-A-Ware! - You're right. Plast-A-Ware. 114 00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:07,919 So while Mommy's busy with her little hobby... 115 00:06:08,002 --> 00:06:10,338 - It's a job! - Yes, fine, a job. 116 00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:13,465 ...I need you two to play nice with each other and don't get in any trouble. 117 00:06:13,549 --> 00:06:15,425 And I am putting you in charge of your sister today. 118 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,510 - You got that? - Yep. 119 00:06:16,594 --> 00:06:20,181 Okay, if anything bad happens to her, I want you to call me at work. 120 00:06:20,265 --> 00:06:21,599 - Okay, buddy? - Sure, Dad. 121 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:23,726 Good, 'cause then I will come right home, 122 00:06:23,809 --> 00:06:26,229 and I will put you through that fuckin' wall. 123 00:06:26,312 --> 00:06:28,815 Have a great day, princess. 124 00:06:29,107 --> 00:06:31,650 - Dad put me in charge of you. - Good for you. 125 00:06:31,734 --> 00:06:33,903 - So you have to do what I say. - Okay. 126 00:06:33,986 --> 00:06:36,781 - Can I go get my coloring book? - Yes, you can. 127 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,283 Thanks. 128 00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:40,326 This is easy. [door slams] 129 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,039 Maureen! 130 00:06:45,123 --> 00:06:47,250 [bike bell jingles] [Maureen] See you later, stupid! 131 00:06:47,333 --> 00:06:49,459 Ah, shit! 132 00:06:50,128 --> 00:06:52,171 [snoring] 133 00:06:54,215 --> 00:06:57,558 - Hey. Get up, son. - [sleepy voice] Oh, come on, 134 00:06:57,593 --> 00:07:00,012 I was having a dream about not being part of this family. 135 00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:01,639 That's great. Come on. It's important. 136 00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:05,101 Where you taking me? 137 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,483 Hey, Frank! She wouldn't leave. 138 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:15,369 - Capricorns, right? - Ah, that guy. 139 00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:19,573 Where we going? 140 00:07:21,284 --> 00:07:22,534 I'm not getting a haircut. 141 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,914 Look, I'm sorry I'm flunking out, but History's not my fault. 142 00:07:26,998 --> 00:07:29,834 I wasn't gonna say this, but Mr. Hackett's a perv. 143 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:32,628 Like, a major perv. He's always brushing up against me. 144 00:07:32,711 --> 00:07:34,955 I'm pretty sure I gave him a boner. 145 00:07:40,052 --> 00:07:43,555 Look, I realize no matter how much I yell and scream, you're never gonna change. 146 00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:46,851 You're not gonna do better in school, and your mother and I have accepted that. 147 00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:48,477 We're not gonna fight you on this anymore. 148 00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:50,021 So I guess you're done with school. 149 00:07:50,104 --> 00:07:51,814 And you know what? That's fine. 150 00:07:51,897 --> 00:07:56,402 - Oh. Cool. - So we decided to sell you to the Army. 151 00:07:56,486 --> 00:07:57,611 - What? - Yep. 152 00:07:57,695 --> 00:08:00,695 - You are going to Vietnam. - What? 153 00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:05,119 It's called "Troubled Youths To Southeast Asia," or something like that. 154 00:08:05,203 --> 00:08:08,039 - It's an early-induction program. - What the hell are you talking about?! 155 00:08:08,122 --> 00:08:11,125 Good, good, that's great. Get all that attitude outta your system now, 156 00:08:11,209 --> 00:08:14,170 because your commanding officer's probably not gonna stand for it. 157 00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:15,963 You can't do this to me. It isn't legal. 158 00:08:16,047 --> 00:08:19,133 Yeah, it is. It's a new program. A lot of parents are really excited about it. 159 00:08:19,217 --> 00:08:21,302 It's a "can't lose." You're done with school, 160 00:08:21,386 --> 00:08:23,388 and we might get a nice folded flag out of it. 161 00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:25,494 Ah, would you look at that. Hey, we better hurry, 162 00:08:25,495 --> 00:08:27,517 your flight to Saigon leaves in an hour. 163 00:08:27,599 --> 00:08:29,894 This is bullshit! Where are you taking me?! 164 00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,604 Where are you taking me?! 165 00:08:44,616 --> 00:08:45,951 [inhaling] 166 00:08:46,035 --> 00:08:49,080 Mm... [sighs] here we go! 167 00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,749 You can't do this to me! Wait, I'll be good! 168 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:54,313 - Father, please! - Oh, and if you see a six-year-old 169 00:08:54,314 --> 00:08:57,671 running away from you, he's about to compromise your position. 170 00:08:57,755 --> 00:09:00,758 So, what you want to do is shoot him right in the back of the head. 171 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:03,177 A brain stem shot. All right? And don't worry, don't worry, 172 00:09:03,261 --> 00:09:04,970 - everything's fair game over there. - No! 173 00:09:05,054 --> 00:09:07,806 You hold him up on your bayonet for the others to see. 174 00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:11,185 - It's all about sending a message. - [sobbing] I want to go home, Daddy! 175 00:09:11,269 --> 00:09:13,479 Ah, we all want to go home, Kevin. 176 00:09:13,563 --> 00:09:16,232 But sometimes you have to destroy an entire culture first 177 00:09:16,315 --> 00:09:18,817 before that's possible. And I'll tell you right now, 178 00:09:18,901 --> 00:09:21,003 if the Vietnamese are anything like the Koreans, 179 00:09:21,004 --> 00:09:24,698 - they're very tough to de-bone. - No, please! I'm so sorry! 180 00:09:24,782 --> 00:09:26,992 I don't even know what a brain stem is! 181 00:09:27,076 --> 00:09:29,787 I'll work hard in school! I'll be good, okay? 182 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,997 D-D-Don't send me to Vietnam! 183 00:09:32,081 --> 00:09:35,334 Jesus Christ, Kevin. You're not going to Vietnam. 184 00:09:35,418 --> 00:09:37,169 What? I'm not? 185 00:09:37,253 --> 00:09:39,755 You really think they'd take a 14-year-old flunky? 186 00:09:39,838 --> 00:09:41,799 They only take 18-year-old flunkies. 187 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:44,935 Seriously? That's so fucked up! 188 00:09:45,344 --> 00:09:47,138 [Frank] You are gonna spend the day with me. 189 00:09:47,221 --> 00:09:50,099 So you see what I do to put food on the table for this family. 190 00:09:50,182 --> 00:09:52,810 Then maybe you'll learn to have just a little more respect 191 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,521 for your "just a baggage handler" father. 192 00:09:55,605 --> 00:09:58,857 Ah! Piece of shit! Goddamn it! [door slams] 193 00:09:58,941 --> 00:10:02,153 All right, where's Mohican Airways flying you two today? 194 00:10:02,236 --> 00:10:04,696 - [woman] Syracuse. - Syracuse, New York! 195 00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:08,576 Jewel of the Hudson Valley! Here you go, young man, gate 12. 196 00:10:08,659 --> 00:10:10,786 - Thank you. - [chuckles] Thank you! 197 00:10:14,123 --> 00:10:16,501 Cheap ass Syracuse motherfuckers. 198 00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:18,919 Hope your plane gets hijacked. 199 00:10:19,003 --> 00:10:21,380 - Hey, what do you say, Rosie? - Hey, Frank. 200 00:10:21,464 --> 00:10:25,259 - You remember my boy, Kevin, right? - Oh, hey, kid. You've grown. 201 00:10:25,343 --> 00:10:27,219 What are you in, seventh, eighth grade now? 202 00:10:27,303 --> 00:10:29,305 - [scoffs] Try ninth. - Shit. 203 00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:33,601 Time sure flies when you work 51 weeks a year. 204 00:10:33,684 --> 00:10:35,603 Where are you fine ladies headed to? 205 00:10:35,686 --> 00:10:37,563 - Let's go, genius. - [woman] Sandusky. 206 00:10:37,647 --> 00:10:40,065 - Sandusky, Ohio! - [mutters] Stupid sarcasm from Dad. 207 00:10:40,149 --> 00:10:42,631 Gotta hang out with him all day. Sucks! 208 00:10:44,362 --> 00:10:47,406 Maureen! Maureen! 209 00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:48,782 Where are you? 210 00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:50,326 [Maureen giggles] [glass shatters] 211 00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:56,874 Nice! Let's try this big fucker. 212 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,501 Don't throw that! 213 00:10:58,584 --> 00:11:01,003 If Maureen gets hurt, my dad's gonna kill me! 214 00:11:01,086 --> 00:11:04,590 - I won't get hurt. - It's okay, we's insulated. 215 00:11:04,674 --> 00:11:09,080 - I think I'm allergic to my pink pillow. - This is stupid. 216 00:11:09,115 --> 00:11:11,305 Let's just play something where Maureen won't get hurt. 217 00:11:11,389 --> 00:11:12,722 OK. [groans] 218 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:16,101 Ah, shit! Why does this hurt so much? 219 00:11:16,185 --> 00:11:20,113 Should've worn a cup, like me. [chuckles] 220 00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:23,609 [Frank] Now let me show you where you 221 00:11:23,610 --> 00:11:26,737 can get in life when you stay in school. This right here 222 00:11:26,738 --> 00:11:29,865 is what you call the "nerve center" of the whole operation. 223 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:32,680 You recognize that handwriting? 224 00:11:32,681 --> 00:11:37,039 - That's me. I made out that schedule. - Gee, Pop, that's cool. 225 00:11:37,122 --> 00:11:40,903 It's not "cool." It's important. Just like air traffic control. 226 00:11:40,938 --> 00:11:42,878 It's all about sequencing and spacing. 227 00:11:42,961 --> 00:11:45,214 - [scoffs] Of lunch? - No, of everything. 228 00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:47,883 Without that schedule, the bags don't get off the planes 229 00:11:47,966 --> 00:11:51,303 and the whole airport grinds to a halt. That leads to a domino effect. 230 00:11:51,387 --> 00:11:54,098 Every airport closes. Then anarchy sets in. 231 00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:57,059 - Food lines grow... - Dad, it's not that big of a deal. 232 00:11:57,142 --> 00:11:59,645 Yeah? Talk to me when we're eating the fucking dog for supper! 233 00:11:59,729 --> 00:12:02,648 [man shouts over PA] Murphy! My office! Now! 234 00:12:02,732 --> 00:12:05,859 All right, that's the big boss. I'll be right back. You stay here. 235 00:12:05,943 --> 00:12:08,320 Do not move your ass from this spot. You understand me, Einstein? 236 00:12:08,404 --> 00:12:11,990 - All right. Yeah, Dad, I got it. - Okay, I'll be right back. 237 00:12:12,074 --> 00:12:16,203 [door closes] [singsong] # Fuck you. # 238 00:12:18,015 --> 00:12:19,289 _ 239 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,709 No fucking door's gonna tell me what to do. 240 00:12:23,511 --> 00:12:25,496 [horn beeps] Ah, shit! 241 00:12:32,261 --> 00:12:34,138 Mm-hm. Hm. Hm. 242 00:12:36,515 --> 00:12:38,768 Ooh. You're a bad one. 243 00:12:42,104 --> 00:12:44,273 See? This is fun, right? 244 00:12:44,356 --> 00:12:45,983 - I guess. - And it's safe. 245 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,985 - You guys ready? - All ready. 246 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,245 Hold your girl balls! 247 00:12:51,447 --> 00:12:53,532 [giggling] 248 00:12:55,451 --> 00:12:58,203 [gasps, grunting] 249 00:12:58,287 --> 00:12:59,622 [tires screeching] 250 00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:03,125 Shit! 251 00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:07,879 - Maureen! I killed her. - I want to do it again! 252 00:13:07,963 --> 00:13:10,675 No! I don't care if you die, but Dad does. 253 00:13:10,758 --> 00:13:13,594 - I'm not afraid of anything. - Are you all right, Maureen? 254 00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:15,554 The Nazi knows my name! 255 00:13:15,638 --> 00:13:16,806 [kids screaming] 256 00:13:16,888 --> 00:13:20,058 Ah! The joy of children at play. 257 00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,313 [knocking] [door opens] 258 00:13:24,396 --> 00:13:27,426 - You, uh, wanted to see me, Bob? - Sit down. 259 00:13:27,427 --> 00:13:30,709 [loud, labored breathing] 260 00:13:33,531 --> 00:13:37,207 Frank, it was a horrible way for you to get Ed's job, 261 00:13:37,236 --> 00:13:40,454 God rest his soul, but everything happens for a reason 262 00:13:40,538 --> 00:13:44,458 and I know you're the guy to turn this department around. 263 00:13:44,542 --> 00:13:46,043 Thank you. 264 00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:50,047 To be honest with you, Ed lost control of his crew. 265 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:53,300 You see how they've been acting out there? [sputtering cough] 266 00:13:53,384 --> 00:13:56,846 Oh, did I get you? There's no discipline anymore. 267 00:13:56,928 --> 00:14:01,809 So you're the new sheriff and I'm counting on you to lay down the law. 268 00:14:02,768 --> 00:14:06,564 Good skin. They should make a chicken just of skin. 269 00:14:06,647 --> 00:14:09,650 I'd buy that. Everybody'd buy that. 270 00:14:09,734 --> 00:14:13,028 To tell you the truth, we were getting ready to let Ed go anyway. 271 00:14:13,111 --> 00:14:18,033 So this terrible accident was kind of a blessing in disguise. 272 00:14:18,116 --> 00:14:20,285 [grunting, gasping] 273 00:14:20,369 --> 00:14:21,995 [groaning] 274 00:14:23,873 --> 00:14:26,500 One good thing has come out of this tragedy. 275 00:14:26,584 --> 00:14:30,462 From now on, if you're wearing a tie on the tarmac, 276 00:14:30,546 --> 00:14:34,299 - it's gotta be a clip-on. - That's a nice way to honor his memory. 277 00:14:34,383 --> 00:14:38,241 So listen, I'm hearing some rumblings that Rosie and 278 00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:42,099 the baggage handlers are thinking of going on strike. 279 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:46,687 I'm really counting on you to make sure your men understand 280 00:14:46,771 --> 00:14:50,357 that wouldn't be in anybody's best interest. 281 00:14:50,441 --> 00:14:51,508 Oh, they're not gonna strike. 282 00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:55,195 - They're my guys. They're reasonable. - That's good. 283 00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:59,032 Because just between you and me and these pieces of poultry, 284 00:14:59,116 --> 00:15:01,786 a strike would kill this airline. 285 00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:05,539 Times are tough. Inflation. Recession. 286 00:15:05,623 --> 00:15:09,418 Oil embargo. We're all in this together. 287 00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,044 If one side... 288 00:15:11,128 --> 00:15:15,966 Oh, for Christ's sake, this bucket's only got three biscuits! 289 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:17,968 It's supposed to have four! 290 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:20,596 That's what's wrong with this country! [bucket thuds] 291 00:15:21,639 --> 00:15:24,391 [grunts] Oh, here it is. 292 00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:31,118 You're in management now, Frank, and we take care of our own. Here. 293 00:15:31,523 --> 00:15:35,451 We'd like you to have these, courtesy of our CEO, 294 00:15:35,452 --> 00:15:38,071 Roger Dunbarton himself. [grunts] 295 00:15:38,155 --> 00:15:41,784 These are for the game next Sunday. Corporate seats! 296 00:15:41,867 --> 00:15:44,787 Enjoy them. You're on our team now. 297 00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:46,789 I know you'll come through for us 298 00:15:46,872 --> 00:15:50,542 and shut down any of this crazy talk about a strike. 299 00:15:50,626 --> 00:15:55,172 - I can count on you, right? - [clears throat] Uh... Yes. Yes, sir. 300 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:58,142 - All right, Frank, we're done here. - Thanks, Bob. 301 00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:03,463 I'm not a stander, Frank. 302 00:16:05,641 --> 00:16:07,852 Bang it harder, man! [man grunts] 303 00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:09,269 I'm trying, I'm trying! 304 00:16:09,353 --> 00:16:11,271 Come on, you son of a bitch. Come on! 305 00:16:11,355 --> 00:16:13,524 Come on, you little fuckers! 306 00:16:13,607 --> 00:16:17,194 Ho-ho! All right, high tar! 307 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,196 - Makes your dick hard. - Oh, hey, man. 308 00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,739 It's not stealing if you're on a break. 309 00:16:20,823 --> 00:16:24,159 - Oh, shit, that's Frank's kid. - Are you gonna tell your dad on us? 310 00:16:24,242 --> 00:16:27,329 My dad's a dildo. Now how about one of those cigarettes? 311 00:16:27,412 --> 00:16:30,081 - All right. - Yeah. [chuckles] 312 00:16:40,091 --> 00:16:41,092 There. 313 00:16:41,844 --> 00:16:42,970 All done. 314 00:16:43,053 --> 00:16:46,974 [sighs] Now I'm free to enjoy the rest of my day. 315 00:16:47,057 --> 00:16:51,255 [clock ticking] [faucet dripping] 316 00:16:54,023 --> 00:16:57,010 [ticking echoes] 317 00:17:11,206 --> 00:17:14,042 [sobbing] 318 00:17:19,715 --> 00:17:22,175 [wailing] 319 00:17:23,761 --> 00:17:27,138 [muffled sobs] [whining] 320 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:31,393 [sobbing] Oh, God! 321 00:17:36,815 --> 00:17:39,651 Get out of here! Leave me alone! 322 00:17:39,735 --> 00:17:41,445 Get out! Ew! 323 00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:44,531 All right, Einstein. Up and at 'em! 324 00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:47,242 Ah, shit! 325 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,037 [horn beeps] [gasps] 326 00:17:51,496 --> 00:17:52,873 Maureen! 327 00:17:52,957 --> 00:17:56,209 You said you'd only climb to the first big branch! 328 00:17:56,293 --> 00:17:58,420 When are you gonna realize I'm a liar? 329 00:17:58,503 --> 00:18:00,505 Hey, look, free eggs! 330 00:18:01,256 --> 00:18:04,217 Yuck. Somebody put a bird in this one! 331 00:18:04,301 --> 00:18:06,511 Maureen, get down now! 332 00:18:06,595 --> 00:18:08,831 [singsong] # I can't hear you # 333 00:18:08,866 --> 00:18:10,170 [yelling] [gasps] 334 00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:14,394 [thudding] 335 00:18:14,478 --> 00:18:16,814 So he forces me to come with him on his day off 336 00:18:16,897 --> 00:18:18,607 to learn respect for what he does. 337 00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:22,903 And it's all 'cause he spazzed out when I started flunking a few classes. 338 00:18:22,987 --> 00:18:23,862 [coughs] 339 00:18:23,946 --> 00:18:28,033 Fuck school! Whoa! That'd be a great name for a porno. 340 00:18:28,117 --> 00:18:30,452 Look at that, I didn't even finish tenth grade 341 00:18:30,535 --> 00:18:32,913 and I just came up with an idea for a movie. 342 00:18:32,997 --> 00:18:36,291 People still go to school, but they fuck. 343 00:18:36,374 --> 00:18:38,877 I'd watch that. Everybody would watch that. 344 00:18:38,961 --> 00:18:42,547 Carl, check it out! This one just came in from Boston. 345 00:18:43,173 --> 00:18:45,342 "Lewis Futon." Nice. 346 00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,636 She's probably banging the mayor. [chortles] 347 00:18:47,719 --> 00:18:50,263 Better put it on the belt. Oops! 348 00:18:50,347 --> 00:18:51,974 Missed the belt! 349 00:18:52,057 --> 00:18:55,602 "Leonora Pender." Oh, you dirty pill-billy. 350 00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:58,105 - What are they? - Only one way to find out. 351 00:18:58,188 --> 00:19:01,817 And that's why they call it "experimenting" with drugs. 352 00:19:03,318 --> 00:19:06,321 - Whoa. Can I have some? - Dude, you're a kid! 353 00:19:06,404 --> 00:19:08,323 You can only have one. 354 00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:10,367 Whoa. 355 00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:13,237 - You're gonna be a great father. - Thanks, man. 356 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:18,000 - Rosie, you seen my kid? - Thought he was with you. 357 00:19:18,083 --> 00:19:20,836 Ah, geez. Kid's gonna put me six feet under. Thanks. 358 00:19:20,919 --> 00:19:22,203 Frank, real quick, real quick. 359 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,131 What did Bob Pogo want to talk to you about? 360 00:19:24,214 --> 00:19:26,758 Well, uh... he was missing a biscuit. 361 00:19:26,842 --> 00:19:28,969 [laughing] 362 00:19:29,887 --> 00:19:32,165 I didn't do it! 363 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,684 Anyway, what did he want, Frank? 364 00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:38,687 Pogo was just, you know, he doesn't want you to go on strike. 365 00:19:38,770 --> 00:19:40,605 And look, I know you guys got a beef. 366 00:19:40,689 --> 00:19:42,440 They shouldn't be cutting your overtime pay. 367 00:19:42,524 --> 00:19:46,132 Exactly. It isn't right. I mean, we're busting our asses out here. 368 00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:47,738 How much money they gotta make? 369 00:19:47,821 --> 00:19:51,867 We're not asking for a lot, man, you know, just spread it around a little bit. 370 00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:53,368 I mean, you understand, right? 371 00:19:53,451 --> 00:19:56,371 Rosie, you know I got your back. I'll always be one of you guys. 372 00:19:56,454 --> 00:19:59,499 If this shit goes down, we can count on you, right? 373 00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:01,292 Yeah, Rosie. Of course you can. 374 00:20:01,376 --> 00:20:04,254 - Good. - I better go find my kid. 375 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:08,013 Hey, I hope Pogo didn't eat him! [both laughing] 376 00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:10,572 He's too lean, though, right? [chuckles] 377 00:20:10,844 --> 00:20:14,806 - Ah... - Excuse me, are you the manager here? 378 00:20:14,890 --> 00:20:17,184 Why, yes, ma'am, I am. How can I help you? 379 00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:18,894 Don't you backtalk me! 380 00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:25,109 - Are you all right? - Do you want my pillow? 381 00:20:25,192 --> 00:20:28,445 - Get away from her! - I... can't... breathe! 382 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,239 You just got the wind knocked out of you. 383 00:20:31,115 --> 00:20:33,825 I bet I can go higher this... time. 384 00:20:33,909 --> 00:20:37,454 Jesus Christ, Maureen, what's wrong with you?! 385 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,498 All day long, if it's not one thing, it's another! 386 00:20:40,582 --> 00:20:42,626 I'm just trying to protect you! 387 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,623 Do you have a death wish, you stupid fuck?! 388 00:20:45,754 --> 00:20:47,714 [gasps, sniffles] 389 00:20:48,465 --> 00:20:51,468 Ah, shit. [sighs] 390 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:54,763 I'm sorry. Okay. Okay. 391 00:20:54,846 --> 00:20:57,224 Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you? 392 00:20:57,307 --> 00:21:03,063 [sniffles] I can walk, but I still want you to carry me, okay? 393 00:21:11,321 --> 00:21:13,364 [Kevin] I know that guy. That's my dad's boss. 394 00:21:13,448 --> 00:21:16,409 It is for about two more seconds. [chuckling] Here he goes. 395 00:21:16,493 --> 00:21:19,913 Alive... alive... alive... 396 00:21:20,497 --> 00:21:21,331 [yells] [men] Oh! 397 00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,708 - What happened to his head?! - Just a second. 398 00:21:24,168 --> 00:21:25,543 Holy shit! [men cackling] 399 00:21:25,627 --> 00:21:27,171 - I can't stop watching this. - Oh, man! 400 00:21:27,254 --> 00:21:30,381 Look, look. Alive. Dead. 401 00:21:30,465 --> 00:21:32,259 Alive. Dead. 402 00:21:32,342 --> 00:21:33,760 Alive. Dead. 403 00:21:33,844 --> 00:21:35,512 I'm gonna put him back together. Oh! 404 00:21:35,595 --> 00:21:37,722 Now he's apart. I use Head and Shoulders. 405 00:21:37,806 --> 00:21:39,808 Oops! Now just Shoulders. [giggles] 406 00:21:39,891 --> 00:21:43,394 Oh, don't get ahead of yourself! The Prince of Darkness says you live! 407 00:21:43,478 --> 00:21:44,855 Oh, no, you don't! 408 00:21:44,938 --> 00:21:47,899 Uh, my... dad's probably... 409 00:21:47,983 --> 00:21:50,235 - I should go find him. - Okay, see ya. 410 00:21:50,319 --> 00:21:52,904 "I wear a tie because I'm a professional." 411 00:21:52,988 --> 00:21:54,823 Not anymore. [both cackling] 412 00:21:57,326 --> 00:22:00,495 I'm sorry you had to see all that, but I'm fine now. 413 00:22:00,578 --> 00:22:03,540 Really, I am. I'm very happy. 414 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:07,878 I mean, so what if all I really have is... I'm a mom and a wife. 415 00:22:07,961 --> 00:22:10,964 And all I have outside of that is Plast-A-Ware. 416 00:22:11,048 --> 00:22:14,009 But I'm happy. I don't need anything else. 417 00:22:14,092 --> 00:22:16,803 No, no, no, don't go. Here, more cheese. 418 00:22:18,096 --> 00:22:20,431 I'm really very happy. 419 00:22:20,515 --> 00:22:21,641 [door opens] [Bill] Mom? 420 00:22:21,725 --> 00:22:24,393 We'll talk later. Hang on, honey, Mommy's here! 421 00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:27,314 [stammers] Mrs. Pender, I am so very sorry 422 00:22:27,396 --> 00:22:29,774 that something was lost from your luggage in transit. 423 00:22:29,858 --> 00:22:34,071 It's not "something." It's my pills. And they were in that bag! 424 00:22:34,154 --> 00:22:36,698 They're for my uterine lining! 425 00:22:36,781 --> 00:22:38,783 Are you sure you packed them before you left Boston? 426 00:22:38,867 --> 00:22:42,954 Are you suggesting I'm senile, you baggage jockey? 427 00:22:43,038 --> 00:22:44,998 This is your fault! 428 00:22:45,082 --> 00:22:49,169 You are an absolute disgrace to this once-proud airline. 429 00:22:49,253 --> 00:22:51,213 And if you think I'm gonna stand... 430 00:22:51,296 --> 00:22:53,506 Whoa! [men cackling] 431 00:22:53,590 --> 00:22:55,675 You should see the tape the FAA confiscated. 432 00:22:55,759 --> 00:22:58,678 Ed's head rolled all the way to runway two-niner. 433 00:22:59,428 --> 00:23:01,147 You guys should get back to work. 434 00:23:02,349 --> 00:23:05,518 Oh, man, I got the cramps something bad. 435 00:23:05,602 --> 00:23:10,107 - Really? Are your breasts tender? - No, but I can't feel my balls! 436 00:23:10,190 --> 00:23:12,441 Murphy, ma'am. Frank Murphy. 437 00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:15,237 Well, Frank Murphy, you're about to lose your job! 438 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,991 Excuse me, sir? Um... I don't know your name, obviously, 439 00:23:20,075 --> 00:23:23,494 but um, I found this bottle by the baggage carousel 440 00:23:23,578 --> 00:23:25,622 and just thought it might be important? 441 00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:28,457 Oh. Uh... Thank you, uh, young man. 442 00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,918 Mrs. Pender, here you are. 443 00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:33,213 Oh. Well, this still doesn't excuse your rudeness. 444 00:23:33,297 --> 00:23:34,881 Ma'am, I am terribly sorry. 445 00:23:34,965 --> 00:23:37,092 It's 100 percent our fault. I understand completely. 446 00:23:37,175 --> 00:23:41,012 And your complete lack of professionalism and respect for... 447 00:23:41,096 --> 00:23:44,682 Excuse me, but um... why don't you just... 448 00:23:44,766 --> 00:23:47,301 [yelling] shut the fuck up?! 449 00:24:02,033 --> 00:24:04,577 Kevin... you shouldn't have said that. 450 00:24:04,661 --> 00:24:08,397 That was very rude. [laughing] 451 00:24:08,873 --> 00:24:11,542 And just because I'm laughing doesn't make it right, okay? 452 00:24:11,626 --> 00:24:13,462 You should've shown that lady some respect. 453 00:24:13,544 --> 00:24:17,799 - Why? She'll be dead in a week. - Yeah, with any luck. [laughing] 454 00:24:17,882 --> 00:24:22,304 - She sure was pissed. - Yeah, don't tell your mother! 455 00:24:22,305 --> 00:24:24,109 [both laughing] 456 00:24:24,181 --> 00:24:27,100 ['70s rock music playing] 457 00:24:41,990 --> 00:24:44,284 [music continues] 458 00:24:44,368 --> 00:24:47,704 [turns down volume] Doesn't that just rock your soul? 459 00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:50,040 I gotta tell ya, I-I just don't get it. 460 00:24:50,123 --> 00:24:53,293 Dad, you can't understand progressive rock for the first time. 461 00:24:53,377 --> 00:24:56,833 - You gotta keep listening. - No, I don't. When you get to be my age, 462 00:24:56,868 --> 00:24:58,340 you can recognize bullshit right out of the gate. 463 00:24:58,423 --> 00:25:02,927 So listen, my boss gave me these tickets to the game next Sunday. 464 00:25:03,011 --> 00:25:05,596 Corporate seats. You want to go? 465 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,892 Really? Yeah, sure. Thanks, Dad. 466 00:25:08,975 --> 00:25:12,270 - Cool. - Yeah. It'll be fun. 467 00:25:13,771 --> 00:25:16,233 Dad, I'm real sorry about my grades. 468 00:25:16,316 --> 00:25:20,320 I'm gonna stop goofing off and make up all my assignments, I swear. 469 00:25:20,404 --> 00:25:23,031 Okay. Good. That would really make me proud. 470 00:25:23,114 --> 00:25:25,325 And I'm glad you took me to your job today. 471 00:25:25,409 --> 00:25:27,244 It really opened my eyes. 472 00:25:27,327 --> 00:25:29,662 I shouldn't have called you "just a baggage handler." 473 00:25:29,746 --> 00:25:33,333 - What you do is... remarkable. - Ah... 474 00:25:34,376 --> 00:25:39,172 - Thanks, son. - I mean, what an awful job you have. 475 00:25:39,256 --> 00:25:42,780 Seriously, watching you just have to stand there while 476 00:25:42,781 --> 00:25:46,304 that lady came down on you, you were like a human urinal. 477 00:25:46,388 --> 00:25:49,266 - I was... I was embarrassed for you. - Okay. 478 00:25:49,349 --> 00:25:51,600 I mean, like, the humiliation. 479 00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:53,937 - Your soul must be weeping. - Got it. 480 00:25:54,020 --> 00:25:57,648 [Kevin] I don't know how the human spirit can endure that. 481 00:25:57,732 --> 00:26:03,196 She was literally, like, shoveling her own feces in your mouth. 482 00:26:03,280 --> 00:26:04,822 And you just kept eating it. 483 00:26:04,906 --> 00:26:07,409 - Yeah, you said that already. - No, I said "urinal." 484 00:26:07,492 --> 00:26:10,161 Anyway, I don't know how you do it. 485 00:26:10,245 --> 00:26:11,662 Day in and day out... [turns up volume] 486 00:26:11,746 --> 00:26:13,164 ...humiliating yourself like that. 487 00:26:13,248 --> 00:26:16,293 [voice fading] Crushing your will to go on, just to buy me shoes. 488 00:26:16,376 --> 00:26:18,462 And do I ever thank you for it? 489 00:26:18,545 --> 00:26:21,131 No. No, I don't... 490 00:26:22,340 --> 00:26:24,384 [controlled exhale] 491 00:26:24,969 --> 00:26:28,192 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 492 00:26:51,995 --> 00:26:53,455 [gunshot] [casing clatters] 493 00:26:53,505 --> 00:26:58,055 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40132

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