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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,111 --> 00:00:06,702 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:07,158 --> 00:00:11,197 [music] 3 00:00:16,292 --> 00:00:18,587 - Heya, fellas! - Heya, Frank! 4 00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:20,004 [car sputters] 5 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,717 [Frank sighs] [Susan] Daddy's home! Time for dinner. 6 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:28,555 - I made pigs in blankets. - Oh, my favorite. Thanks, honey. 7 00:00:28,638 --> 00:00:30,473 Dad, do you know anything about magnets? 8 00:00:30,557 --> 00:00:32,308 A buddy from the war has one in his head. 9 00:00:32,392 --> 00:00:34,644 We used to throw paper clips at it. Does that help you? 10 00:00:34,728 --> 00:00:37,355 Daddy, I got an "A" on my spelling test! 11 00:00:37,439 --> 00:00:39,941 Oh, that's wonderful, princess. 12 00:00:40,024 --> 00:00:44,237 Well, I guess His Royal Highness has finally decided to join us. 13 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,197 Yeah, I'm high, all right. 14 00:00:46,281 --> 00:00:49,200 All right, guys, dig in. Oh, so I gotta tell ya, 15 00:00:49,284 --> 00:00:51,494 the funniest thing happened at work today. 16 00:00:51,578 --> 00:00:54,226 Ed calls a mandatory meeting, we go to the break 17 00:00:54,227 --> 00:00:56,875 room, and he's just bragging about his new tie. 18 00:00:56,958 --> 00:00:59,210 [chuckles] So then I says to Ed... [phone ringing] 19 00:01:01,797 --> 00:01:04,006 Jesus Christ. I'm not answering that. 20 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:08,052 Frank, you should answer it. What if somebody got hurt? 21 00:01:08,136 --> 00:01:10,221 Nobody ever gets hurt at supper, Susan, OK? 22 00:01:10,305 --> 00:01:13,308 It's always some goddamn salesman, and I'm not answering it. 23 00:01:13,391 --> 00:01:15,184 Dad, we all know you're gonna answer it. 24 00:01:15,268 --> 00:01:16,937 You don't know a goddamn thing about me. 25 00:01:16,938 --> 00:01:18,631 [ringing continues] 26 00:01:18,772 --> 00:01:20,022 What if it's important? 27 00:01:20,106 --> 00:01:22,776 I sweated blood at that airport for 12 hours today, 28 00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:26,070 and what's important to me is I have just one moment 29 00:01:26,071 --> 00:01:29,282 of peace with my family, enjoying a delicious home-cooked meal. 30 00:01:29,365 --> 00:01:31,827 Is that too much to ask? I'm not answering it. 31 00:01:40,543 --> 00:01:43,292 [ringing continues] 32 00:01:44,130 --> 00:01:45,632 Shit. 33 00:01:49,344 --> 00:01:51,304 Murphy residence. 34 00:01:53,974 --> 00:01:56,601 Oh, let me tell you something, you goddamn son of a bitch. 35 00:01:56,685 --> 00:01:59,646 I don't need a goddamn engraved family Bible! 36 00:02:00,355 --> 00:02:02,148 You see? You see? What did I say? 37 00:02:02,231 --> 00:02:05,234 Every goddamn time. I am eating dinner with my family, young man! 38 00:02:05,318 --> 00:02:08,154 I don't need a $25 Bible to teach me about God. 39 00:02:08,237 --> 00:02:11,533 I almost bled out in Korea, all right?! I have met God! 40 00:02:12,701 --> 00:02:14,327 What did you just say to me? 41 00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,705 Ah, you come down here and you say that to me like a man! 42 00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:19,207 I swear I'll pull your tongue out through your goddamn neck! 43 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:22,460 [growling, shrieking] 44 00:02:23,085 --> 00:02:25,129 Why do they have to put the goddamn things on the wall? 45 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,965 - Frank, calm down. - Yeah, "Frank, calm down, calm down." 46 00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,759 It's always "Frank, calm down!" 47 00:02:29,843 --> 00:02:33,388 Why's it always me, Susan? How about a little support? Huh? 48 00:02:33,471 --> 00:02:35,673 Would that kill ya? [door thud, clank] 49 00:02:37,684 --> 00:02:40,311 [exhales, chuckles] [low thuds in garage] 50 00:02:40,395 --> 00:02:42,689 So, how was school? 51 00:02:42,772 --> 00:02:45,738 Goddamn punk, calling me at supper. Huh? Huh? 52 00:02:45,773 --> 00:02:47,318 Won't even come to my door like a man?! 53 00:02:47,402 --> 00:02:50,655 Hi, Mr. Murphy. Can Billy come out and play? 54 00:02:50,739 --> 00:02:52,699 Get the fuck outta here! 55 00:02:52,782 --> 00:02:54,116 [voice echoing] 56 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,165 [up-tempo song playing] 57 00:03:30,236 --> 00:03:32,989 [grunts, screams] 58 00:03:39,295 --> 00:03:42,247 1x01 - "The Bleedin' in Sweden" 59 00:03:42,248 --> 00:03:43,458 [crickets chirring] 60 00:03:43,541 --> 00:03:46,002 [man on TV] And now, back to Colt Luger. 61 00:03:46,086 --> 00:03:47,336 [motorcycle revs on TV] 62 00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:49,464 [cackling] 63 00:03:49,547 --> 00:03:53,175 - It's time to die, Luger. - Is that so, Boneskull? 64 00:03:53,259 --> 00:03:56,554 Well, I say it's time you took a bath... in your own blood! 65 00:03:56,638 --> 00:03:58,890 Here it comes. Here it comes. [gunshot on TV] 66 00:04:02,184 --> 00:04:05,354 [grunts, screams] [bike crashing] 67 00:04:11,277 --> 00:04:13,154 [clicking] [Frank] Oh, he's out of bullets! 68 00:04:13,237 --> 00:04:15,531 [woman on TV] Colt, they're gonna kill us! 69 00:04:15,615 --> 00:04:18,785 - They'll try, Sweet Cakes. - But what can you do? 70 00:04:18,868 --> 00:04:21,245 Sometimes a man's gotta do... [thudding] 71 00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:22,956 - ...what a man does. - What a man does. 72 00:04:31,965 --> 00:04:34,467 See? You see that? That right there, that is a man. 73 00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:36,886 - That is a stunt man. - What was that? 74 00:04:36,970 --> 00:04:39,097 - Nothing. - That's enough, Kevin. 75 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:41,536 Your father already had his dinner ruined, don't you 76 00:04:41,537 --> 00:04:43,893 ruin his favorite show. It's one of his few joys in life. 77 00:04:43,977 --> 00:04:46,855 [man on TV] Colt Luger will return after these messages. 78 00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:49,107 Ah, shit, commercials. 79 00:04:49,190 --> 00:04:52,318 It's the heavyweight boxing event of the decade! 80 00:04:52,401 --> 00:04:55,696 Haywood "Big Skillet" Shavers defends his title against 81 00:04:55,697 --> 00:04:58,992 Irish Mickey Ireland, out to avenge his heartbreaking loss, 82 00:04:59,075 --> 00:05:02,162 forever known now as "The Bleedin' in Sweden!" 83 00:05:02,244 --> 00:05:06,624 The slaughter starts at nine, on Sunday Bloody Sunday! 84 00:05:06,708 --> 00:05:08,877 Right after an all new There's a Fairy On My Shoulder. 85 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:11,253 That's my guy! That's my guy, Irish Mickey. 86 00:05:11,337 --> 00:05:13,662 Ya know, he would've beat Shavers the last time, but 87 00:05:13,663 --> 00:05:15,987 lost on a technicality 'cause the ref thought he was 88 00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:18,803 bleeding too much, which he wasn't. He lost because he was drunk. 89 00:05:18,887 --> 00:05:21,430 Hey, Sue, I gotta have everybody over to watch this. 90 00:05:21,514 --> 00:05:22,612 Some food, some beer. 91 00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:24,809 I'll throw one of my "Frank's Famous Fight Parties" 92 00:05:24,893 --> 00:05:27,187 - for the whole neighborhood. - That's a great idea. 93 00:05:27,269 --> 00:05:29,480 I know. You better start cooking, good looking. 94 00:05:29,564 --> 00:05:32,984 - Can I watch the fight too? - No. This is gonna be a grown-up party, 95 00:05:33,068 --> 00:05:34,861 so you kids are gonna have to stay in your rooms. 96 00:05:34,944 --> 00:05:36,696 Close the door and lock 'em. 97 00:05:36,779 --> 00:05:39,741 Oh, this is gonna be fun, Sue. I mean, this is gonna be big. 98 00:05:39,824 --> 00:05:42,347 You can put my chair right in the middle of the room, 99 00:05:42,348 --> 00:05:44,871 right in front of the TV. Get some that good bottled beer. 100 00:05:44,954 --> 00:05:47,207 And make that "Frank's Special Chip Dip." [plop in toilet] 101 00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:49,084 You know, with cream cheese and chili in a can? 102 00:05:49,167 --> 00:05:52,087 [dryer whirring] [yelling] And those fancy potato chips 103 00:05:52,170 --> 00:05:57,592 that come in a tin! We can use it as a garbage can after! 104 00:05:57,675 --> 00:05:59,468 And maybe some... 105 00:05:59,552 --> 00:06:00,970 [panting] Those... those deviled eggs? 106 00:06:00,971 --> 00:06:02,388 Can you make some of those? 107 00:06:02,471 --> 00:06:04,015 [Susan] Yeah. Are you gonna stuff the eggs? 108 00:06:04,099 --> 00:06:05,808 - Oh, you're the best, sweet cakes. - Stuff 'em! 109 00:06:05,892 --> 00:06:07,602 - Stuff 'em! - You're the best! Oh! 110 00:06:07,685 --> 00:06:09,604 Oh, you're the best! 111 00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:16,194 Have fun! Come home when the streetlights come on! 112 00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:18,696 Don't go playing with those dirty kids down the end of the block. 113 00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:21,074 - They probably have chiggers! - [kids] We won't! 114 00:06:22,742 --> 00:06:23,826 What do you want to do? 115 00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:26,370 [Southern accent] We found a rusty lawn mower in the woods. 116 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,123 [Southern accent] Dare you to lick it. 117 00:06:28,206 --> 00:06:29,832 [Maureen] How much will you give me? 118 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:34,294 Hey, you stay away from that loose girl down on River Street. 119 00:06:34,378 --> 00:06:36,172 I don't want any half-slut grandkids. 120 00:06:36,256 --> 00:06:38,507 - We're not doing anything. - Neither was I. 121 00:06:38,591 --> 00:06:42,095 - That's how you got here! - That's a fine boy you got there, Frank. 122 00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:44,472 Ah, he's a fuckin' animal. 123 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:49,447 Street sign: yes. Magnetic attraction 124 00:06:49,482 --> 00:06:52,605 has many properties. Actually, too many to mention. 125 00:06:52,688 --> 00:06:53,898 [slobbering sounds] 126 00:06:53,982 --> 00:06:55,275 What the hell are you doing? 127 00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,194 Tastes like Momma's gun. 128 00:06:59,028 --> 00:07:01,423 Give it back, Kenny! [Kenny growls] 129 00:07:02,157 --> 00:07:05,534 - Oh, you'll never get it now. - Bite down hard, Ken! 130 00:07:05,618 --> 00:07:07,341 [growls] 131 00:07:09,122 --> 00:07:10,623 [magnet clangs] 132 00:07:12,041 --> 00:07:15,753 Oh, man, that's the Nazi's house. He's gonna kill me! 133 00:07:15,837 --> 00:07:17,797 Who's a Nazi, Ben? 134 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,334 You know, that German guy in that there house. 135 00:07:21,369 --> 00:07:24,553 Kids all say he's Hitler's little brother. 136 00:07:24,637 --> 00:07:26,806 Yeah, yeah, and he hunts down kids. 137 00:07:26,889 --> 00:07:28,850 Shut up, he's gonna hear you! 138 00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:30,893 [all gasp] 139 00:07:30,977 --> 00:07:33,395 [door creaking] 140 00:07:35,815 --> 00:07:39,027 [German accent] Well, hello. Do you need some help? 141 00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:40,862 [voice wavering] No, I'm OK. 142 00:07:40,945 --> 00:07:45,116 - Oh, please, it is my pleasure. - It's OK, I got it. 143 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:48,369 - He almost got you! - You see that number on his arm? 144 00:07:48,370 --> 00:07:51,039 That's how many people he's killed. It's a scoreboard! 145 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:53,749 Have a wonderful day, children! 146 00:07:56,169 --> 00:07:58,296 Oh, it is gonna be one hell of a fight party. 147 00:07:58,379 --> 00:08:01,299 Sue is going all out. She's making those deviled eggs you like. 148 00:08:01,382 --> 00:08:03,801 She's got the Rice Krispies with the toothpick things in there. 149 00:08:03,885 --> 00:08:06,470 All right? We got plenty of booze. Everyone's coming. 150 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:09,015 - Everybody's getting loaded. - I can bring a Jell-O loaf! 151 00:08:09,098 --> 00:08:11,309 Jell-O? Babe, this is a fight, 152 00:08:11,392 --> 00:08:13,561 not a party for someone with stomach cancer. 153 00:08:13,644 --> 00:08:16,689 Yeah, the thing is, actually, it's... [chuckles] 154 00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:18,607 it's a little delicate, but uh... 155 00:08:18,691 --> 00:08:21,819 we've already been invited to watch the fight over at, uh... 156 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:25,732 - at Vic's. - Vic's? 157 00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:27,616 Wait, we always watch the fight at my house. 158 00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:30,098 I am the fight host on this block! And why the hell 159 00:08:30,099 --> 00:08:32,496 would you want to hang out with that guy anyways? Huh? 160 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,333 What, do you like his hair, and his car, acting all Hollywood? 161 00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:37,710 You can't see through that phony positivity? 162 00:08:37,793 --> 00:08:41,214 "Hey, guys! You need some help? Oh, have a great day!" 163 00:08:41,297 --> 00:08:44,300 Fucking asshole. Last time, I'm walking with my wife, my woman, 164 00:08:44,384 --> 00:08:48,054 he's got the nerve to go, "Hey, Frank, you're a lucky man." 165 00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:51,015 "Lucky man"? Luck had nothing to do with it, punk! 166 00:08:51,099 --> 00:08:53,142 Hey, Frank, take it easy, take it easy. 167 00:08:53,226 --> 00:08:55,603 Nothing against you, we just kind of like him. 168 00:08:55,686 --> 00:08:58,022 - For one thing, he smells great. - He's got you there, Frank. 169 00:08:58,106 --> 00:09:00,357 [car approaching] 170 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:03,361 Ah, Christ. Here he comes. 171 00:09:03,444 --> 00:09:05,863 [rock music playing] 172 00:09:13,246 --> 00:09:15,248 [tires squealing] [music stops] 173 00:09:16,465 --> 00:09:18,342 Hola, amigos! 174 00:09:18,426 --> 00:09:21,262 - Just the men I want to see. - [woman] Mm... 175 00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:24,682 Would you look at that jerk, carrying on like he's a goddamn astronaut. 176 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:28,394 - Probably has the clap. - Kitty Kat, make me some mac and chee. 177 00:09:28,395 --> 00:09:30,062 Not the spiral kind, that makes me dizzy. 178 00:09:30,145 --> 00:09:32,147 [slap] [giggles] 179 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,692 Hey, so how about that fight? 180 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,528 Big Skillet's gonna kill that pasty booze-bag. 181 00:09:37,612 --> 00:09:40,322 Hey, where's your loyalty? You're white. 182 00:09:40,406 --> 00:09:43,367 So what? Black dudes are cool. 183 00:09:43,451 --> 00:09:45,661 You ever seen one naked? I do all the time. 184 00:09:45,745 --> 00:09:48,789 - Big stars, too. - Oh, yeah? Which ones? 185 00:09:48,872 --> 00:09:51,270 One of the Four Tops was washing his armpits in 186 00:09:51,271 --> 00:09:53,669 the men's room at the radio station just last week. 187 00:09:53,753 --> 00:09:56,756 He was the main one, I think. We made eye contact. 188 00:09:56,838 --> 00:10:00,578 Good guy. Hey, Frank, it'd be righteous 189 00:10:00,613 --> 00:10:02,386 if you joined us to watch the fight at my house. 190 00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:05,723 - Thirty-two inches of living color. - Thirty-two inches? 191 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,933 - That's pretty big. - Up here, Babe. 192 00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:10,352 Well, thanks, but you're a little late. 193 00:10:10,436 --> 00:10:12,980 Everyone in the neighborhood is already coming over 194 00:10:12,981 --> 00:10:16,164 to watch the fight on my new color set. It's 33 inches. 195 00:10:16,191 --> 00:10:17,818 [Vic] They make 'em that size? 196 00:10:17,901 --> 00:10:20,780 - They do for me. - Out of sight. 197 00:10:20,862 --> 00:10:24,283 You got it all going on. I bet you're digging the skin you're in. 198 00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:28,746 - You bet your ass I am. - Hey, Vic! It's hot. 199 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,290 About to get hotter. See ya, fellas! [Kitty Kat giggles] 200 00:10:31,373 --> 00:10:34,075 Eh, Frank, I look through your window every night. 201 00:10:34,076 --> 00:10:35,877 And I've never seen a color TV. 202 00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:39,590 - It's great that you got one! - Yeah. I was gonna surprise you. 203 00:10:39,674 --> 00:10:42,760 Well, it's gonna be one hell of a party. 204 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,970 [shouts] Frank got himself a new color TV! 205 00:10:45,053 --> 00:10:49,677 - It's 33 inches! - [German man] Oh, that's wunderbar! 206 00:10:49,809 --> 00:10:50,851 Oh, shit. 207 00:10:56,816 --> 00:10:59,450 That was bitchin'! [groans] 208 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,278 [all] Ew... 209 00:11:01,362 --> 00:11:04,490 - My turn! - Hold your balls! 210 00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:09,620 Look out... [voice slows] ...below! 211 00:11:11,831 --> 00:11:14,175 Oh, he's gone too far. 212 00:11:15,334 --> 00:11:16,544 [crashing] 213 00:11:17,669 --> 00:11:20,089 [boy] What the shit was that? 214 00:11:21,090 --> 00:11:24,753 Oh, my God, big kids! Run! 215 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:27,429 [grunts, forced chuckle] 216 00:11:27,512 --> 00:11:30,682 Hiya, Jimmy. Sorry about your house. 217 00:11:30,766 --> 00:11:34,227 It's not my house, shit stain. It's my clubhouse. 218 00:11:34,311 --> 00:11:36,438 And I'm gonna fuckin' kill you. 219 00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:37,856 [barrel clangs] Huh? 220 00:11:38,649 --> 00:11:42,820 Little pussy! Get back here, Murphy, and let me fuckin' kill you! 221 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:48,366 Frank, why did you do that? We can't afford a big color TV. 222 00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:50,869 Well, I can't afford not to have one now. 223 00:11:50,953 --> 00:11:53,789 Things were said in that driveway that cannot be unsaid. 224 00:11:53,872 --> 00:11:56,165 This is all the money we have saved in the world. 225 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,015 - It's Kevin's college fund. - Come on, Sue. 226 00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:00,462 We both know Kevin's not going to college. 227 00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:03,964 That's not the point. I just wish you'd told me. 228 00:12:04,303 --> 00:12:07,848 All I'm saying is you don't get to make big financial decisions 229 00:12:07,931 --> 00:12:10,684 - like this by yourself. - Then agree with me. 230 00:12:10,767 --> 00:12:12,144 That way we both decided together. 231 00:12:12,227 --> 00:12:16,606 OK. All I ask is that we stay within our budget. 232 00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:19,026 Absolutely. We will not spend one more dime than... 233 00:12:19,109 --> 00:12:21,444 [both gasp] Sweet Jesus. 234 00:12:21,528 --> 00:12:26,382 [slow love song playing] 235 00:12:41,548 --> 00:12:44,134 [music stops] I see you know your TVs. 236 00:12:44,218 --> 00:12:46,220 This is the Sonabishi Color Plex right here. 237 00:12:46,303 --> 00:12:49,723 It is the biggest and heaviest television on the market. 238 00:12:51,183 --> 00:12:54,311 Mm, this varnish. It's so decadent. 239 00:12:54,393 --> 00:12:58,523 - It was hand-rubbed in Korea. - Huh. [gasps] 240 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,817 - Wow. - [softly] We don't have that much cash. 241 00:13:00,901 --> 00:13:04,779 - We're $50 short. - I know, but I need this, Sue. 242 00:13:04,863 --> 00:13:06,948 Oh, I need this. 243 00:13:07,032 --> 00:13:09,910 You know, I'll tell you what. We could finance that last $50 244 00:13:09,993 --> 00:13:13,398 at a point above prime: 26 percent. 245 00:13:13,538 --> 00:13:14,539 Sold. 246 00:13:14,622 --> 00:13:16,415 [both moaning] 247 00:13:17,584 --> 00:13:20,170 - Come on, just touch it a little. - No. 248 00:13:20,254 --> 00:13:22,130 - I won't tell anybody. - No. 249 00:13:22,214 --> 00:13:23,965 - Then let me touch you. - No. 250 00:13:24,049 --> 00:13:26,968 Come on, you're so pretty and you're so cool, 251 00:13:27,052 --> 00:13:31,430 and I really like you, and you're the only one I want to touch it. 252 00:13:31,514 --> 00:13:34,851 - All right, but only over your pants. - Oh, thank you so much. 253 00:13:34,935 --> 00:13:39,064 Kevin! Billy's getting killed by some big kids! 254 00:13:39,147 --> 00:13:41,913 Now? Son of a bitch! 255 00:13:42,483 --> 00:13:43,777 Ow! 256 00:13:45,237 --> 00:13:48,447 Cut it out! This isn't funny anymore! [boys laughing] 257 00:13:48,531 --> 00:13:50,325 Leave me alone, you jerks! 258 00:13:50,409 --> 00:13:51,618 Please! 259 00:13:52,786 --> 00:13:54,913 - [boy] Yeah! - Stop it! 260 00:13:54,996 --> 00:13:57,207 Oh, I'm gonna be a cop! 261 00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:58,499 - [Billy] Ouch! - [Kevin] Jimmy! 262 00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,737 Shit, it's Kevin Murphy! 263 00:14:03,255 --> 00:14:04,505 Oh, hey, Kevin. 264 00:14:05,257 --> 00:14:07,050 [whimpers] Oh, man! 265 00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:09,677 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 266 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:12,431 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 267 00:14:12,513 --> 00:14:16,768 [groaning, sobs] Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man! 268 00:14:18,895 --> 00:14:20,272 Thanks, Kevin. 269 00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:24,318 [grunts] Oh! 270 00:14:24,401 --> 00:14:26,394 [sobbing] 271 00:14:32,116 --> 00:14:35,119 Kids, this right here is an example of what can be yours 272 00:14:35,203 --> 00:14:37,434 if you're willing to work hard and go the extra 273 00:14:37,435 --> 00:14:39,666 mile to give your family the nice things in life. 274 00:14:39,749 --> 00:14:42,293 You are not to touch this unless I say so, 275 00:14:42,377 --> 00:14:45,450 and I am never gonna say so. Is that understood? 276 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:45,672 - OK. - Yes. 277 00:14:45,755 --> 00:14:47,173 Good. Now go to bed. 278 00:14:49,676 --> 00:14:50,635 Are you ready? 279 00:14:51,886 --> 00:14:54,180 We did it, Sue. We made it. 280 00:14:54,264 --> 00:14:55,557 Pull the knob. 281 00:14:57,016 --> 00:14:58,101 [upbeat intro music plays] 282 00:14:58,184 --> 00:15:00,853 [man on TV] This is the ABS Evening News. [audience laughs] 283 00:15:00,937 --> 00:15:03,690 [woman] You're not exactly Joe Namath yourself! 284 00:15:03,773 --> 00:15:06,901 [man 2 on TV] No, Your Honor, the defense does not rest. 285 00:15:06,984 --> 00:15:08,236 [crowd on TV gasps] 286 00:15:08,319 --> 00:15:11,114 [man 3 on TV] Ladies and gentlemen: Evel Knievel. 287 00:15:11,197 --> 00:15:12,449 [upbeat music] 288 00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:16,827 [snoring] ["Star-Spangled Banner" plays on TV] 289 00:15:16,911 --> 00:15:20,123 [static hissing] [continues snoring] 290 00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,921 [clanks] [yawns] Toaster: yes. 291 00:15:27,004 --> 00:15:31,926 [man on TV] Good morning. Channel Nine begins its broadcast day with What It Is? 292 00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:36,264 A discussion of today's issues facing today's black community, today. 293 00:15:36,347 --> 00:15:37,807 With your host, Jim Jeffords. 294 00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,726 A happy Sunday to all. 295 00:15:39,768 --> 00:15:43,062 So how do you people feel about these election results? 296 00:15:43,146 --> 00:15:46,441 I mean, now that the Civil Rights era has drawn to a close 297 00:15:46,442 --> 00:15:49,736 and we're all equal now. You know, not that you're going to be 298 00:15:49,737 --> 00:15:51,488 marrying my daughter or anything. [laughs] 299 00:15:51,571 --> 00:15:55,158 [woman] You have an interesting way of phrasing things, Mr. Jeffords. 300 00:15:55,241 --> 00:15:57,076 [Jeffords] Thank you, Ms. Unchacka. 301 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,995 [snoring] [woman] It wasn't a compliment. 302 00:15:59,954 --> 00:16:02,332 It's The Nickel and Pickle Show! 303 00:16:02,415 --> 00:16:04,751 In col...! [sound distorting] 304 00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:06,795 [hissing, sizzling] Huh? 305 00:16:07,629 --> 00:16:08,630 [gasps] 306 00:16:09,714 --> 00:16:11,382 [normal audio resumes] 307 00:16:11,466 --> 00:16:13,259 [static hissing] 308 00:16:13,343 --> 00:16:15,679 [audio distorting] 309 00:16:16,971 --> 00:16:18,931 [static hissing] 310 00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:23,102 - [softly] No, no, no, no! - [softly] What the hell are you doing? 311 00:16:23,186 --> 00:16:27,106 I put the magnet on the TV and now I can't make it go back! 312 00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:29,609 See? This is what doing your homework gets you. 313 00:16:30,943 --> 00:16:34,446 All right, pretend to be asleep. You were never there. It'll be fine. 314 00:16:36,073 --> 00:16:37,492 [Frank] What the hell? 315 00:16:38,493 --> 00:16:39,703 [louder] What the hell?! 316 00:16:39,786 --> 00:16:42,079 Ah, you got to be shittin' me! Susan! 317 00:16:42,163 --> 00:16:44,666 [Susan] Frank, what is it? [louder] What the hell?! 318 00:16:44,749 --> 00:16:45,875 What happened to it? 319 00:16:45,958 --> 00:16:49,212 - It was like this when I woke up! - Maybe you watched it too long! 320 00:16:49,295 --> 00:16:52,507 Oh, for Christ's sake, I didn't watch it too long! It's brand new! 321 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,258 Well, did you pour water down it? 322 00:16:54,342 --> 00:16:56,678 - No, I didn't pour water down it! - Don't yell at me! 323 00:16:56,761 --> 00:16:58,388 - You're undermining me! - No, I'm not! 324 00:16:58,471 --> 00:16:59,681 - The hell you're not! - I'm not! 325 00:16:59,764 --> 00:17:01,391 Why the fuck would I pour water down it? 326 00:17:01,474 --> 00:17:03,351 - What is it?! - You're on the side of the TV! 327 00:17:04,018 --> 00:17:08,064 No one is on the side of the TV. How could this happen? 328 00:17:08,815 --> 00:17:10,316 I know what happened. 329 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,153 - I know exactly what happened here. - [softly] Play dead or you will be. 330 00:17:14,237 --> 00:17:18,700 [Frank] That slick son of a bitch down at the TV store sold me a lemon! 331 00:17:18,783 --> 00:17:21,661 [sighs] Oh, you're so lucky. 332 00:17:21,745 --> 00:17:25,623 [men grunting] Goddamn Korean-rubbed piece of shit. [barking] 333 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,710 [Frank] Major, you're not going anywhere. 334 00:17:28,793 --> 00:17:31,588 Get back inside, you stupid maniac! 335 00:17:31,671 --> 00:17:33,506 You need some help, Frank? 336 00:17:34,131 --> 00:17:37,051 - Everything's fine. - His new TV's on the fritz! 337 00:17:37,134 --> 00:17:40,096 - Goddamn it, Goomer. - Well, let me help you out, buddy! 338 00:17:40,179 --> 00:17:41,931 Hold that thought. 339 00:17:43,974 --> 00:17:46,018 - I like your shorts. - I know. 340 00:17:46,102 --> 00:17:48,646 One, two, three, lift! 341 00:17:48,730 --> 00:17:50,706 All right. Here we go. 342 00:17:50,741 --> 00:17:53,047 Keep on truckin', chief. 343 00:17:54,944 --> 00:17:57,947 I'll be back in a second. I have to go burn this shirt. 344 00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:01,284 [man on TV] Feminist Focus, with your host, Jim Jeffords. 345 00:18:01,367 --> 00:18:05,037 Thank you for joining us, ladies. May I say, you all look super hot. 346 00:18:05,121 --> 00:18:06,747 You ever think people would listen to your 347 00:18:06,748 --> 00:18:08,374 opinions more if you brushed your hair? 348 00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,793 You... [static hissing] 349 00:18:10,835 --> 00:18:12,253 There you have it. A lemon. 350 00:18:12,336 --> 00:18:15,298 So, uh... how we gonna do this? Refund, new set? 351 00:18:15,381 --> 00:18:18,384 So what happened here? Pour water down the back? 352 00:18:18,468 --> 00:18:21,033 Why do people keep asking me that? Why on earth would 353 00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:23,598 I pour water down the back of my own television set? 354 00:18:23,681 --> 00:18:26,601 - OK, look, sir... - You call me "sir" like you mean it. 355 00:18:26,684 --> 00:18:30,271 This TV worked perfectly when it left the store, so we're not responsible. 356 00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:34,191 Not responsible? I spent $640 on this thing. 357 00:18:34,275 --> 00:18:36,820 Then you should've sprung the extra five on the warranty. [chortles] 358 00:18:36,903 --> 00:18:38,988 Let me tell you something, you goddamn son of a bitch. 359 00:18:39,071 --> 00:18:41,866 - Now, Frank... - "Now Frank, now Frank" nothing! 360 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:44,097 I am gonna speak! You think you can put on 361 00:18:44,098 --> 00:18:45,995 slacks and talk to a grown man like that? 362 00:18:46,079 --> 00:18:49,159 Well, do ya? This is not how business is done. 363 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:51,446 I am a customer of this store of long standing. 364 00:18:51,481 --> 00:18:53,669 I bought a radio back here when there was no TV 365 00:18:53,753 --> 00:18:55,838 and you, sir, were still in your dad's balls! 366 00:18:55,922 --> 00:18:58,465 [shouting] Now I have been wronged in this transaction! Get off of me! 367 00:18:58,549 --> 00:19:01,635 I have been wronged in this transaction and I have 14 people, 368 00:19:01,719 --> 00:19:04,471 an entire cul-de-sac, coming to my home tonight 369 00:19:04,555 --> 00:19:06,807 to watch the fight on my color television! 370 00:19:06,891 --> 00:19:09,060 So you need to rectify this situation! 371 00:19:09,143 --> 00:19:10,937 Now what do you plan on doing about it? 372 00:19:11,812 --> 00:19:12,855 Tell you what I can do. 373 00:19:14,273 --> 00:19:19,445 I'll hold the door open for you so you can carry it back to the car. 374 00:19:21,989 --> 00:19:24,867 Maybe you should've gotten the warranty. 375 00:19:24,951 --> 00:19:27,036 [growling] 376 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:30,581 If they didn't sell us a lemon and you didn't break it, then who did? 377 00:19:30,664 --> 00:19:32,583 Oh, Sue, I don't know who... 378 00:19:34,252 --> 00:19:36,212 Those fuckin' animals. 379 00:19:37,921 --> 00:19:40,799 You kids either really think I'm dumb, or you don't respect me. 380 00:19:40,883 --> 00:19:42,926 - Or both. - Thanks, honey, I got this. 381 00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:44,782 That TV was fine when it left the store, 382 00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,555 and I sure as hell didn't break it! 383 00:19:46,638 --> 00:19:50,210 - Now one of you did! - And whoever it was, I want you to know 384 00:19:50,245 --> 00:19:52,561 that thanks to you, your father went to that TV store 385 00:19:52,644 --> 00:19:55,902 - and made a fool of himself. - Oh, OK, Sue, thank you. 386 00:19:55,937 --> 00:19:58,128 No, they need to hear this. Your poor father 387 00:19:58,129 --> 00:20:00,319 made himself look like a lunatic because of you. 388 00:20:00,403 --> 00:20:03,355 - Jesus Christ, Sue. - And now, he has to watch 389 00:20:03,390 --> 00:20:06,742 the fight at Vic's while the whole neighborhood laughs at him! 390 00:20:06,825 --> 00:20:11,372 They got it! Nobody is leaving this couch until I know who did this. 391 00:20:11,455 --> 00:20:14,041 - Did you break my TV? - It wasn't me, Daddy. 392 00:20:14,124 --> 00:20:17,127 Ah, I know it wasn't, princess. You can go. 393 00:20:17,211 --> 00:20:20,130 - Can you give me a quarter for ice cream? - I don't have one. 394 00:20:21,465 --> 00:20:23,033 - Did you break my TV? - No. 395 00:20:23,217 --> 00:20:24,660 - Did you break my TV? - No. 396 00:20:24,843 --> 00:20:26,145 - Did he break my TV? - No. 397 00:20:26,429 --> 00:20:28,038 - Did he break my TV?! - No. 398 00:20:28,222 --> 00:20:31,058 - Who broke my TV? - We don't know. 399 00:20:31,141 --> 00:20:33,227 One of you is a liar. Are you a liar? 400 00:20:33,310 --> 00:20:34,770 - Didn't do it! - All right. 401 00:20:34,853 --> 00:20:36,897 So that's how it's gonna be? Very well. 402 00:20:36,980 --> 00:20:38,566 We will sit here all day 403 00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:41,818 until one of you respects us enough to tell the truth. 404 00:20:49,409 --> 00:20:51,704 - Dad... - I did it. I broke your new TV. 405 00:20:51,787 --> 00:20:53,330 - You did? - Yeah, it was me. 406 00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:55,582 Ah-ha! I knew it! How? 407 00:20:55,666 --> 00:20:57,250 I poured water down it. 408 00:20:57,334 --> 00:21:00,962 [sputters] Poured water... Why the hell would you pour water down it?! 409 00:21:01,046 --> 00:21:03,757 I'll tell you why. 'Cause you got no respect, that's why. 410 00:21:03,841 --> 00:21:06,593 Oh, yeah? Well guess what, genius? I didn't do it! 411 00:21:06,677 --> 00:21:09,346 You didn't? Then why the hell would you tell me you did?! 412 00:21:09,429 --> 00:21:12,140 Because I fucking hate you! [gasps] 413 00:21:15,894 --> 00:21:17,229 [door slams] 414 00:21:20,899 --> 00:21:22,568 [softly] Frank? 415 00:21:26,196 --> 00:21:27,781 [airplane soars above] 416 00:21:31,034 --> 00:21:32,911 [gas hissing] 417 00:21:35,330 --> 00:21:36,373 [coughing] 418 00:21:39,209 --> 00:21:41,754 [hacking, gagging] 419 00:21:44,089 --> 00:21:46,633 You have something you want to tell me? 420 00:21:48,886 --> 00:21:50,470 [sniffling] 421 00:21:50,554 --> 00:21:52,890 I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean it. 422 00:21:52,972 --> 00:21:55,392 I can't look at you right now. I might kill you. 423 00:21:55,475 --> 00:21:58,854 It's not so much that you broke my TV. It's that you lied to me. 424 00:21:58,937 --> 00:22:01,106 We are taking you right down to that store, 425 00:22:01,189 --> 00:22:03,609 and you are gonna march right up to that salesman 426 00:22:03,692 --> 00:22:05,444 and apologize for what you did, 427 00:22:05,527 --> 00:22:09,030 and for making your father humiliate himself. 428 00:22:09,114 --> 00:22:11,784 There were so many people we knew in that store. 429 00:22:11,867 --> 00:22:14,578 Oh, Sue, for the love of Christ! 430 00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:23,420 So I kicked the guy's ass, jumped into my car, and I got to the 431 00:22:23,421 --> 00:22:27,382 Civic right as Grand Funk was taking the stage. It was insane. 432 00:22:27,466 --> 00:22:29,967 Just another page out of my life journey. 433 00:22:30,051 --> 00:22:33,346 Did a bum shit in your mouth? [door opens, closes] 434 00:22:37,058 --> 00:22:39,519 - Can I help you? - Um, my dad told me to... 435 00:22:41,354 --> 00:22:42,755 I know who your old man is. 436 00:22:42,756 --> 00:22:44,858 That's the guy who poured water in the Sonabishi. 437 00:22:44,942 --> 00:22:46,485 He didn't pour water in it. 438 00:22:46,568 --> 00:22:50,322 He sent you here to give me the sob story? Too chicken to face me, huh? 439 00:22:50,405 --> 00:22:52,198 He's not chicken. I just... 440 00:22:52,282 --> 00:22:55,243 Nice old man you got there, sending a kid to bitch and moan for him. 441 00:22:55,327 --> 00:22:57,496 Unbelievable. Now get outta here. 442 00:22:57,579 --> 00:23:00,081 Go tell your dad he's a bigger punk than I thought. 443 00:23:00,165 --> 00:23:03,794 Or just stand there pissing yourself, makes no difference to me. 444 00:23:04,753 --> 00:23:06,692 Did I tell you how the Army didn't take me 445 00:23:06,693 --> 00:23:08,632 because they said my dick was too big? 446 00:23:08,715 --> 00:23:10,592 I mean, I can't help it. I can't help what I got. 447 00:23:10,676 --> 00:23:14,095 Not complaining about it, but really wanted to fight for our country. 448 00:23:14,179 --> 00:23:17,683 [man on TV] Hey, Luger! You're one dead gringo. 449 00:23:17,766 --> 00:23:20,101 Oh, is that so, Escobar? 450 00:23:20,185 --> 00:23:25,231 S�. Are you going to run, or do you got the cajones to stand and fight? 451 00:23:25,315 --> 00:23:27,233 Well, sometimes a man's gotta do... 452 00:23:27,317 --> 00:23:28,902 - what a man does. - What a man does. 453 00:23:28,986 --> 00:23:30,821 [distorted static] 454 00:23:32,113 --> 00:23:35,158 [gunfire] Ay, Chihuahua! 455 00:23:37,786 --> 00:23:38,954 [audio sizzling] 456 00:23:45,627 --> 00:23:48,380 [static hissing] 457 00:23:50,966 --> 00:23:54,643 - I ain't buying this piece of shit. - What the fuck is this? 458 00:23:55,303 --> 00:23:59,182 Jesus, Chuck, what in the hell is wrong with all these TVs? 459 00:23:59,265 --> 00:24:02,477 [stammers] I don't know, Dad. We never had a problem with these before. 460 00:24:02,561 --> 00:24:06,523 Well, we sure as shit do now! I mean, Christ, they're all defective! 461 00:24:06,606 --> 00:24:09,442 Pull the receipts of everyone we sold these to. 462 00:24:09,526 --> 00:24:12,612 Uh, excuse me, sir. My dad bought one of those. 463 00:24:13,947 --> 00:24:16,073 The Pattonhouse is a better model. 464 00:24:16,157 --> 00:24:19,494 The Sonabishi is good, but we must've got a bad bunch from overseas. 465 00:24:19,578 --> 00:24:22,414 Those Orientals don't do good work. Their hands are too small. 466 00:24:22,497 --> 00:24:25,500 Again, my apologies for the defective product. 467 00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:30,589 - And... - Sorry I raised my voice to you, sir. 468 00:24:30,672 --> 00:24:33,675 Uh... OK. Thank you. 469 00:24:38,013 --> 00:24:40,473 - What happened in there? - Well... 470 00:24:40,557 --> 00:24:44,212 I know what happened. I know exactly what happened. 471 00:24:44,728 --> 00:24:46,730 I finally won one! I won! 472 00:24:46,813 --> 00:24:50,149 [yelling] You hear that, world? Frank Murphy's not a loser! 473 00:24:50,233 --> 00:24:51,860 Frank Murphy's a wi... [horn blaring] 474 00:24:51,944 --> 00:24:54,227 [Frank] Whoa! Watch it! 475 00:24:54,446 --> 00:24:56,949 Ha-ha! Those Koreans'll never kill me! 476 00:24:57,282 --> 00:24:59,284 [male announcer] And the fighters are approaching the ring! 477 00:24:59,366 --> 00:25:01,953 You can cut the excitement with a knife! [indistinct chatter] 478 00:25:02,037 --> 00:25:03,872 Hey, here we go, here we go! 479 00:25:03,955 --> 00:25:05,874 [announcer] Shavers and Ireland meet in the center of the ring 480 00:25:05,957 --> 00:25:07,042 for the traditional greeting. 481 00:25:07,125 --> 00:25:09,878 [man] There's something kind of red there on Mickey's face. 482 00:25:09,961 --> 00:25:11,796 Oh, my God, is he bleeding already? 483 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,050 I'll tell you, Ernie, he was wearing a turtleneck earlier. 484 00:25:15,133 --> 00:25:17,384 Those are tough to get off at this altitude. 485 00:25:17,468 --> 00:25:20,555 Hey, your hero Vic is over there watching it alone. 486 00:25:22,515 --> 00:25:24,600 [scoffs] Some party. 487 00:25:25,552 --> 00:25:27,720 [announcer] We don't hold out many hopes for the challenger tonight, 488 00:25:27,803 --> 00:25:31,307 - but he keeps on coming. - Yeah, poor guy. 489 00:25:32,058 --> 00:25:34,643 - Hey, where do you think you're going? - Uh... 490 00:25:34,727 --> 00:25:37,105 - Finish my science project. - No, you're not. 491 00:25:37,188 --> 00:25:39,357 Come over here and watch the fight with the rest of the men. 492 00:25:39,441 --> 00:25:42,026 - Really? - Yeah, really. 493 00:25:43,319 --> 00:25:45,238 [bell clangs] [Frank] OK, here we go! Here we go! 494 00:25:45,321 --> 00:25:47,574 [excited chatter] 495 00:25:48,699 --> 00:25:51,750 One sip. Don't tell your mother. 496 00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,080 [announcer chatters indistinctly] 497 00:25:54,163 --> 00:25:56,291 Oh, no, they gotta stop this. 498 00:25:56,374 --> 00:25:59,043 [Frank] That's it, Mickey, that's it, let him punch himself out! 499 00:25:59,127 --> 00:26:00,669 [announcer] And there goes the mouthpiece! 500 00:26:00,753 --> 00:26:03,798 Oh, it's gonna be a long and painful night for the Irishman! 501 00:26:03,881 --> 00:26:06,468 [crickets chirring] 502 00:26:06,593 --> 00:26:09,804 [phone ringing] [Frank] Ah, shit. 503 00:26:11,638 --> 00:26:15,101 - Does it ever fail? - Just answer it. 504 00:26:15,184 --> 00:26:17,895 Goddamn it. This better be good. 505 00:26:19,730 --> 00:26:21,149 He's dead? 506 00:26:21,816 --> 00:26:25,987 [stammers] OK. Yeah, of course. Of course, yeah. 507 00:26:26,070 --> 00:26:28,739 - Who died? - My boss, Ed. 508 00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:32,452 - There was an accident at the airport. - Oh, my God, are you serious? 509 00:26:32,535 --> 00:26:35,330 They want me to come in early tomorrow to cover his shift. 510 00:26:35,413 --> 00:26:38,833 Sue, I think I just got promoted to management. 511 00:26:38,916 --> 00:26:40,168 I think you did, too. 512 00:26:40,251 --> 00:26:43,004 You know what? I think our luck is finally turning around. 513 00:26:43,087 --> 00:26:44,922 Jesus, Frank, a man is dead. 514 00:26:45,006 --> 00:26:47,925 - Yeah, but he was kind of a dick. - Frank! 515 00:26:48,009 --> 00:26:50,761 You know, if this had happened a week ago, we could've got a bigger TV. 516 00:26:50,845 --> 00:26:53,348 - Frank! - [Kevin] Guys, I'm trying to sleep! 517 00:26:53,431 --> 00:26:56,091 [Frank shouts] Then close your eyes and shut the fuck up! 518 00:26:56,126 --> 00:26:57,435 [crickets chirring] 519 00:26:57,636 --> 00:27:00,414 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 520 00:27:00,415 --> 00:27:03,665 [music] 521 00:27:25,087 --> 00:27:26,506 [gunshot] [casing clatters] 522 00:27:26,556 --> 00:27:31,106 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 43243

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