All language subtitles for Mr. Mom - 01x08 - Pitches Be Crazy.WEB.RBB.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

[MEGAN SIGHS]

- I'm gonna count to three.
- No, don't do it.

Honey, this is getting
ridiculous. It's been a week.

It hurts too much.

Fine. Then you know
what? Have Daddy do it.

No. Don't touch it.

Okay. Let me take a look.

I looked.

[YELLING] Ow!

Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com

[GREG SIGHS]

Are you bringing Hannah today?

To what?

It's "Take your kid to work" day.

Oh, my God. I totally forgot.

It's like the worst possible day.

I'm supposed to do a pitch with Riley,

- and I don't even know if...
- It's okay.

I'll take her.

To what?

To my job.

To my work.

- Of course. Yes!
- Yeah.

A home office is an incubator
for pizza innovation.

Of course. Thank you. Oh, honey,

- make us proud.
- Okay.

- I love you.
- Have a great day.

- Okay.
- I'll show her the ropes.

It costs nothing to add
your pizzeria to our list,

but it'll give you exposure

to our customer base
from all over the US.

Our plan is to launch in the
first quarter of next year.

We're expecting immediate growth.

Oh, yeah. That's just a bell
we keep in the office.

We ring it every time one of our
associates signs up another pizzeria.

Great to have you on board.

- Welcome to the Pizza Mail family.
- [BELL DINGING]

[MEGAN] Oh, hi.

God, I was worried you
guys weren't coming in.

Oh, I'm so hungover.

Um, I assume you guys got the
keynote I emailed last night. I...

I didn't hear back
from either one of you.

[SPENCER] Yeah,

um, we thought it'd be
better just to talk in person.

You approach just seemed
a little off-brand for us.

It's kind of old-school.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

But I mean, we are talking
about Graham & Abrams.

Who hired Ruby Kite.

So, we reworked the
lead-in a little last night,

you know, just like a few tweaks.

- Oh.
- [SPENCER] Yeah.

We'll take the lead
and you just back us up.

- Yeah, you're great at summarizing.
- [MEGAN] Thanks. Okay.

- Yeah. It just feels old.
- That's a new compliment for me.

I appreciate that.
I'm, you know, just...

super-last second.

- Are they big tweaks or...
- [SPENCER] Here.

Just trust us. You're gonna love it.

Okay.

I'll look at... I'll give it a read.

- Yeah. You'll love it.
- [MEGAN] Okay. I'll...

[SOFTLY] Okay.

Okay. A big part of being successful is

looking the part.

Visual signs are very important

during a video call.

What do you got?

A confetti stick.

Great. We'll use that later.

You know what we need? A potted plant.

Legit offices always have fancy plants.

[SIGHING] Okay.

Ow.

[EXHALES]

Okay.

[PANTING]

Why are you sweaty?

Um, well,

because, uh, we're down by one,

it's the bottom of the ninth
and the bases are loaded.

If we don't get a hit
with this shipping partner,

then it's game over.

I get it.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Okay.

Okay. So, the idea is
"Deep Cuts in History.

Presented by Graham &
Abrams Adhesive Strips."

Yeah. So, we create jifs

- of funny and...
- "Gifs."

We just said "jif"
before we came in here.

It's "jif." We create jifs...

- Gifs.
- Of funny and historical reenactments.

You know, it's a little bloody,

but mostly just like cool and campy.

Julius Caesar...

Stabbed 23 times.

Ooh. Marie-Antoinette's beheading.

Ooh. That's a deep cut.

About as deep as it gets!

[SPENCER CHUCKLES]

[BLYTHE] Lizzie Borden...

and her axe.

[MIMICKING PANIC]

- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]

- [MEGAN] Oh.
- [SPENCER CHUCKLES]

[SPENCER] And then, of course,
we come to a present-day kitchen

of a woman who's slicing tomatoes,

and she cuts her finger.

Ow!

Straight out of Main Street, USA,

Marcia Brown and her salad.

[SPENCER AND BLYTHE LAUGHING]

And then, of course, she
puts on a bandage. G&A strips.

[IN BRITISH ACCENT] They bloody work.

That's overly macabre,

don't you think? Is... Is
this really all you have?

[DARRYL] Hey, Greg.

Hello, Darryl. Thank you
for taking this meeting.

I'm very excited about Zip Freight.

[DARRYL] My pleasure.
My pleasure. Look at you.

Wavy hair. You look like Beethoven.

- Thanks, Darryl.
- I tell you what,

I looked at your pitch
deck, the product,

and, uh, I gotta tell you,
I love it. Looks legit.

Well, you know, it's
important to be thorough.

I said to myself, this guy,

he's a hungry entrepreneur,
you know, and, uh,

probably working out of his house,

probably a lot like me, you know.

And then, I came across this.

Pizza Mail.

Yeah.

The greatest thing since
sliced pizza. I mean, come on.

That's just some, uh,
early marketing material

that we're working
with, but we're gonna be

ramping it up and improving
on our... on our tagline.

How could you improve on perfection?

I looked at this thing,

and when I saw it, it was
the exact moment I knew

I was in.

Wait, you're, uh, you're in?

You know it, baby.

Oh, my God. [LAUGHS]

That's fantastic, man.

I got to tell you, I was

really, really

needing a partner, uh, in your sector,

and this is great news, Darryl.

- Oh. Yeah, we're partners, baby.
- Thank you.

- You found him. Here I am.
- Wow.

You know, of course we'd create
social media campaigns around it.

Um, you'd have Twitter.

Hashtag Deepcuts.

We could tap into dating apps.

Millennials are hardly our demographic.

Did you guys even read the brief?

Good morning. Sorry I'm late.

Why does everyone look so sour?

I just got off with corporate.

How are we liking the creative?

Well, there's ideas, but...

I'm wondering if we need
to go in another direction.

Yeah.

Actually, there's one other idea

that we would love to run past you.

Um, now...

no one doubts the fact
that social media campaigns

can be effective, but what
we haven't talked about

is our full 360 approach.

- Hmm.
- By integrating

traditional marketing models,

we can give G&A the best of both worlds.

- Okay.
- Oh. Okay.

[DARRYL] Okay. Let me ask you
something about the logistics.

Let's say

you wanted to slide
something else in a box,

you can do?

Yeah. Uh, like, like
wings and breadsticks.

Yeah. You could do that,
or maybe, I don't know...

dried pangolin or Mongolian yak.

You know, something more
exotic than breadsticks.

Are you talking about toppings?

'Cause that's not a normal topping

here in the States.

You know, to each their own.

The point is pizza will mask the smell.

Right, but who's smelling it?

[LAUGHS]

Greg, relax, I'm making jokes.

Shipping jokes.

Okay. I thought so. It's just

I... I can't tell with you sometimes.

This is international, no?

Because I've got a guy in Jakarta

if we want to franchise.

Well, no, we're not international yet.

We're more doing on...

Another question about the box.

Are there air holes?

I'm sorry. Did you say "air holes"?

Yeah.

Are we still talking about pizza?

Yeah.

Pizza.

We can't overlook the obvious
audience for this product, parents.

- Mostly mothers.
- Right.

Now we're all aware that G&A only
has about one-fifth of the market

in this very crowded arena.

And while all your competitors are

advertising the ability to stick well,

no brand is talking about what happens

when it's time to take the bandage off.

You wouldn't believe the fit my
five-year-old pitched this morning

when I took her bandage off.

But if we make them any
less sticky, it'll fall off.

Excellent point, Frances.
Thank you for bringing that up.

So, what if we just

lessened the dread of pulling it off.

Now, the company that figures that out

gets my vote as a mother.

Here's the thing.

What you have going for you

is a nice, clean record.

You're barely in the system.

Just a speeding ticket when you were 24.

I'm sorry. What system?

Do you have a record?

[LAUGHING] I don't know.

Is my name even Darryl?

Are these glasses real? Huh?

You think the Egyptian
government wants this back?

[LAUGHS]

I don't know, Darryl. I don't
have a great feeling about this.

I feel like I should've
done my... my homework.

Well, the less you know the better.

Especially since we are
going to be business partners

for life. Together forever.

[GREG] Darryl, I...

I'm sorry. I'm kind of, um,
I'm kind of rethinking this.

No, no, no, no, baby, don't
play me like this, dog.

I know you need my help, okay?

Zip Freight is the last call

for a failing business, let's be honest.

My business is not... is not failing.

I have a full team

in my office right now,

working eight-hour shifts.

Is that so? Maybe you could turn
the screen, so I could see?

No. I'm not showing you.

I'm no psychic,

but I bet you are not
even wearing pants.

You know what, Darryl? I just...
I think we're on different pages.

- Thank you for your time.
- You want to buy uranium?

[CONFETTI POPS]

[SOFTLY] Great.

So would there be some
kind of removal tool?

[MAN] Or loosening ointment?

Yes, yes. Or maybe
just a simple incentive.

You know how kids love
those novelty tattoos?

Maybe we could embed one in the bandage

so that it appears on the
skin as you pull it off.

- Brilliant.
- Thank you. Thank you.

And it could be anything.

Animals, cartoon characters,

maybe movie tie-ins.

I love this idea.

This is a bandage that you
look forward to taking off.

- Exactly.
- We could call it, uh, "Skin Sketches."

Or, uh, "Boo-boo Tattoo."

That's very good. I was
thinking "Peel and Reveal."

- [ALL EXCLAIMING]
- Yeah.

"Peel and Reveal." We love it.

- Absolutely.
- We couldn't love it more.

I think we should take
this up to Phillip.

- [MAN] He would like it.
- Yeah. You should've started with this.

Mmm-hmm. From the beginning.

Wow. Thanks, Frances. Thank you.

[GRUNTS]

Yeah, a Mongolian yak!

Thank you so much. I'm so proud of you.

Megan, fantastic job.

We couldn't have done it without you.

Here's to "Peel and Reveal."

[ALL] "Peel and Reveal."

[INDISTINCT CHATTER
AMONGST G&A EMPLOYEES]

[RILEY] Working with Graham
& Abrams is gonna be amazing.

- [MEGAN] Amazing.
- [RILEY] Guys, one more. To Ruby Kaye.

[ALL] To Ruby Kaye.

Here we go. That's amazing. Oh.