Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,010 --> 00:00:02,461
Chapter 14.
2
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:03,850
There was nothing Tom enjoyed more
3
00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:06,200
than stories of traveling
to distant lands,
4
00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:07,910
and there was nothing
that Tom enjoyed less
5
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,544
than actually traveling.
6
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:10,719
I can't find my khakis.
7
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,303
The one with the side pocket
8
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:14,098
- for sunscreen?
- Mm-mm.
9
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,154
He needs to re-apply every 15 minutes.
10
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,602
The dermatologist said
he'll literally catch on fire.
11
00:00:18,610 --> 00:00:21,760
Tom, you are the most nervous traveler.
12
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,232
Do you have to go to Puerto Rico?
13
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,140
Sof�a wants me to see
the village she grew up in
14
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:28,234
so I can write about her impoverished
childhood in the memoir.
15
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,173
Now, how many umbrellas
do you think I'll need?
16
00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,500
One to none?
17
00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:34,243
I thought this trip was
gonna be a few days.
18
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:36,074
Yeah, but it's pretty humid down there.
19
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,789
You got to expect at least
three pairs of socks per day.
20
00:00:38,790 --> 00:00:41,110
- Ew.
- If you're this anxious about going,
21
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,334
I can take your place.
22
00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:45,045
Although Sof�a might be more
of a handful than the twins.
23
00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:46,859
No. You know, working on that
book hasn't been all bad.
24
00:00:46,860 --> 00:00:49,717
Thanks to Sof�a, I've learned
that I'm a ceviche guy.
25
00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,840
What? I've been pushing you
to try ceviche for years.
26
00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:55,472
You said eating raw fish
makes you feel like a pelican.
27
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:57,200
Well, technically,
ceviche isn't raw fish.
28
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,977
It's cured in acid.
Sof�a taught me that.
29
00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:02,855
Can I go to the movies after this?
30
00:01:02,860 --> 00:01:04,106
Sure, sweetie. Who all's going?
31
00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:06,210
Just some friends from school.
32
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,902
Oof, cold.
33
00:01:08,910 --> 00:01:10,900
I was like that at her age...
34
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:12,573
which means you're in trouble.
35
00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:15,614
Oh, all right. Let me just kind of...
36
00:01:15,620 --> 00:01:16,869
Come on.
37
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,558
First she ditches us on Halloween,
38
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,880
now this attitude.
39
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:21,209
Teen years are starting off rough.
40
00:01:21,210 --> 00:01:23,040
I hope Gretchen stays
my little girl forever.
41
00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:24,459
- Come on.
- Maybe she'll be a late bloomer
42
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:26,940
like Tom and require
a medical intervention
43
00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:28,047
to kickstart puberty.
44
00:01:28,050 --> 00:01:29,423
Come on.
45
00:01:29,430 --> 00:01:30,591
Maybe it never kicked in.
46
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,100
I wonder if something more
is going on with her,
47
00:01:33,110 --> 00:01:35,262
'cause she's been especially
cagey with us lately.
48
00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:36,300
I wouldn't sweat it.
49
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,960
She's probably just
nervous to see Cayden.
50
00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:41,970
- Who's Cayden?
- Cayden. The boy she likes,
51
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:44,730
whose ass I'll kick if
he breaks her heart?
52
00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:47,909
Oh, my God, her first crush.
Why didn't she tell us?
53
00:01:47,910 --> 00:01:49,720
Yeah. And why did she tell you?
54
00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:52,112
Because I'm the cool uncle
that she can confide in.
55
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,074
Oh, please. Like you understand the
emotional life of a teenage girl.
56
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,840
We have a very active text thread, okay?
57
00:01:57,860 --> 00:02:00,537
Our memes are so crazy,
I don't even understand them.
58
00:02:00,540 --> 00:02:03,263
Okay, well, Shamiah will come to us
59
00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:04,549
when it's something worth sharing.
60
00:02:04,550 --> 00:02:06,335
Yes, of course. Absolutely.
61
00:02:06,340 --> 00:02:09,100
And... done. Got it.
62
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,260
Are those mittens?
63
00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:18,250
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
64
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:23,620
But if the gardener couldn't
have been the Hothouse killer,
65
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:24,650
then who was?
66
00:02:24,660 --> 00:02:26,620
It was the brother-in-law, Steven.
67
00:02:27,490 --> 00:02:29,210
Oh, I've heard this one already.
68
00:02:31,460 --> 00:02:32,736
Hi, honey.
69
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,983
Are you in the jungle?
Have you been kidnapped?
70
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,574
We don't have the money to pay ransom.
71
00:02:37,580 --> 00:02:40,100
What? No. No, I just want to call you
72
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,100
before I jump off this
40-foot waterfall.
73
00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:43,872
What? Oh, he did it!
74
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:47,793
What? You're terrified
of heights and water.
75
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,580
Yeah, I know. This was Sof�a's idea.
76
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,119
She said it'd a fun
way to cap off our trip
77
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,139
before we head to the airport.
78
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:55,300
Well, you could just tell
them you have diarrhea.
79
00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:56,600
No, I'm gonna go for it.
80
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:58,979
She's got this crazy way of pushing
me out of my comfort zone.
81
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:01,560
An hour ago, I let an
iguana sit on my head.
82
00:03:02,340 --> 00:03:04,570
What? Hey, how are the kids?
83
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:06,074
Are Alejandro and Esteban asleep?
84
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,356
"Es-tay-ban." Wait,
you said it correctly.
85
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,775
Yeah. Sof�a has been
helping me with my Spanish.
86
00:03:12,910 --> 00:03:14,840
Don't worry, it's not like that.
87
00:03:14,860 --> 00:03:17,080
She's actually sleeping with our driver.
88
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,420
It's... it's really awkward.
89
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,360
Tom�s, v�monos.
90
00:03:21,380 --> 00:03:22,400
"Tom�s"?
91
00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,770
Oh, yeah, it's what
Sof�a started calling me.
92
00:03:24,780 --> 00:03:26,410
It's Spanish for Tom.
93
00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:27,949
Okay, I'm gonna go.
94
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:29,839
It's my turn to jump. I don't
want to keep them waiting.
95
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,421
Yeah, yeah, I'd hate for
you to be inconsiderate.
96
00:03:32,430 --> 00:03:34,749
Okay. Love you. Bye. I'm coming!
97
00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:40,179
It was the brother-in-law, Steven.
98
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,640
Wait, who is Sue?
99
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,880
I thought Abby Wambach
was in love with Glennon.
100
00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:52,660
Oh, I see. We swapped books.
101
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:54,460
You were reading Megan Rapinoe.
102
00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,237
- Oh... Well, I'm invested now.
- Yeah.
103
00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,740
Oh, hey, sweetie. How was the park?
104
00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,411
- Is everything okay?
- It's fine.
105
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:07,530
Okay, clearly, not everything's fine.
106
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:09,291
Yeah, did it look like
she's been crying?
107
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,280
Whoa.
108
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,297
Shamiah, are you hungry?
109
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:16,840
Should I make you a tofu scramble?
110
00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:18,179
Yeah, we can eat it while we watch
111
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:20,340
"High School Musical:
The Musical: The Series."
112
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:21,804
Wow, I finally got the title right.
113
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:25,557
Great. She's literally tuning us out.
114
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,266
I bet this has something to
do with that boy she likes.
115
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,309
Oh.
116
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,439
I don't get it. She knows she
can talk to us about anything.
117
00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:31,647
This is a safe space.
118
00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:32,980
Yeah, it says so right there.
119
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:34,140
_
120
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,690
We do know someone she feels
comfortable talking to.
121
00:04:38,420 --> 00:04:39,822
No, no way.
122
00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:41,698
We need cool uncle Connor.
123
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,039
Okay, first of all,
do not call him that,
124
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,980
and also, I don't like
the idea of Connor
125
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,620
being Shamiah's confidant. Okay?
126
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:49,060
In high school, he went to nine proms.
127
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:50,589
There was a write-up
about it in the paper.
128
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,560
So he's experienced.
129
00:04:52,580 --> 00:04:54,318
Look, she's shutting us
out for some reason.
130
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,700
- We're gonna need his help.
- Okay, I can talk to kids.
131
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,006
Right? It's my job.
132
00:05:00,220 --> 00:05:01,590
'Sup, girl?
133
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:05,480
Can we come in and
just hang on the floor,
134
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,100
like, listen to some music?
135
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,309
Oh, is that the new Lizzo?
136
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:13,522
Yas queen, I love that,
that bus'ing beat.
137
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,357
Just leave me alone!
138
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,060
Fine.
139
00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:23,198
What's up, Sarah?
140
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,367
Hey, Connor, what's going on?
141
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:27,440
Just finishing up a little workout sesh.
142
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,540
Just benched three hundy
for the first time,
143
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,164
kind of an emotional day.
144
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,749
- Please let me hang up.
- Keep going.
145
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,963
Congrats. That's a lot of hundys.
146
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:37,700
Hey, if you're in the
neighborhood later,
147
00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:40,540
we could use your help with
our garbage disposal.
148
00:05:41,270 --> 00:05:44,177
I'm getting to it.
It's making a weird sound.
149
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:47,139
Ooh, just got a text from Shamiah.
150
00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:48,265
She wants me to come over.
151
00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:50,704
She used punctuation. It's a hot one.
152
00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:52,720
I'm on my way. And call a plumber.
153
00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:54,770
What do I know about garbage disposals?
154
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,514
Hola.
155
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:05,198
Tom? You're back.
156
00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:08,911
And dressed like you're in a tequila ad.
157
00:06:08,912 --> 00:06:11,219
Yeah, it's crazy, right?
The airline lost my luggage,
158
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,664
so I had to get all new
clothes in San Juan.
159
00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:15,264
After all your stress
about what to bring...
160
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:18,045
That bag had three of your
five favorite hoodies.
161
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:20,380
It's just stuff. Yeah.
It turns up, It turns up.
162
00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:23,800
I'm sorry, who are you?
And what's with the gold chain?
163
00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:24,840
Oh, you like?
164
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:27,220
Sof�a said it screamed "Tom�s."
165
00:06:27,230 --> 00:06:30,160
Puerto Rico was incredible.
166
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:32,893
I rode a horse. I ate ant eggs.
167
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,399
We even trespassed into
an abandoned castle
168
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,771
to drink rum at sunset.
169
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,419
Wow, for someone who didn't want to go,
170
00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,815
you sure had a great time.
171
00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:40,960
Yeah, well, Sof�a has got this saying,
172
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,695
"You only live once."
173
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,864
That's a very common saying.
174
00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:47,809
Yeah. Well, I guess I just never
really understood it before.
175
00:06:47,810 --> 00:06:48,825
Hey, how was your week?
176
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:51,703
Well, Alejandro has an impacted stool.
177
00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:53,020
Camilla called me a monster
178
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,589
when I didn't let her
watch "Gossip Girl."
179
00:06:54,590 --> 00:06:56,800
And even though I've been
doing laundry non-stop,
180
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:58,418
this pile never gets smaller.
181
00:06:58,420 --> 00:06:59,790
Well, you'll be happy to know
182
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,280
that these clothes are
dry clean only, so...
183
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:03,674
Ha-ha.
184
00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:08,980
Uh... Yeah, you know,
it must have been really hard
185
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,472
staying here all week,
186
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,392
with me at work, having to
take care of all this stuff.
187
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,900
Why don't we go out tomorrow night?
188
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,603
We'll go to Gianno's.
They have a new special.
189
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,050
Chicken parm, I know.
190
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:20,691
It's been their new special
for the last three years.
191
00:07:21,460 --> 00:07:24,820
Okay. Well, then we'll just
order in, and watch a movie.
192
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,329
There's a voter suppression documentary
193
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:27,906
that Sarah has been raving about.
194
00:07:27,910 --> 00:07:30,620
Those are my options?
Why can't I have adventure?
195
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,660
Why can't I have Tom�s,
196
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:35,080
the man who jumps off waterfalls,
197
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:36,539
who doesn't blink at losing his luggage.
198
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,250
Why don't I get that side of you?
199
00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:40,414
We went on a haunted hayride once.
200
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,984
I've been pushing you for
years to try new things.
201
00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:44,923
Like the nude beach.
202
00:07:44,930 --> 00:07:47,426
Those seagulls were,
like, weirdly aggressive.
203
00:07:47,430 --> 00:07:49,759
For our anniversary, I said we
should get wedding band tattoos,
204
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,263
and you got physically ill.
205
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,164
Yeah, well, what if I got an infection?
206
00:07:53,170 --> 00:07:55,320
I can't afford to lose a finger.
207
00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,518
These are my moneymakers.
208
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,300
Around Sof�a Salazar,
nothing seems to scare you.
209
00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:01,898
Heights, eating ants, rum.
210
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:03,775
Come on. I drank rum for work.
211
00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:05,860
Wha... okay.
212
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,660
Look, it's different around you.
213
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,073
I can be myself. I don't
have to try so hard.
214
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,214
Oh.
215
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:14,828
So you put in the effort
for Sof�a, but not for me?
216
00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:19,249
I'm gonna go take my first
shower in three days.
217
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,802
Seriously?
218
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:32,859
They've been in there
for, like, a half hour.
219
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,309
I need to know what
they're talking about.
220
00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:37,200
- You're being ridiculous.
- You're right.
221
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:38,268
I need a glass.
222
00:08:38,980 --> 00:08:40,540
That's not what I meant.
223
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,564
Also, the glass thing only
works in the movies.
224
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:46,840
- I think I hear something.
- Wait, it works?
225
00:08:50,420 --> 00:08:53,030
Wow, not cool, Denise.
226
00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,659
And the glass thing only
works in the movies.
227
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:56,900
- So what's going on?
- Yeah, what happened?
228
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,331
Don't worry, everything's fine.
229
00:08:59,340 --> 00:09:01,541
- And...
- And what?
230
00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:02,584
And anything.
231
00:09:02,590 --> 00:09:06,171
Oh, you guys want the deets.
232
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,422
Yes, obviously the deets.
233
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:09,500
Sorry, it's a no-can-do.
234
00:09:09,510 --> 00:09:11,218
I'd be breaking uncle/niece code.
235
00:09:11,220 --> 00:09:12,389
What about brother/sister code?
236
00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:13,413
That's not a thing.
237
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,264
Connor, please. We're worried.
She was so upset.
238
00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:19,120
Look, it's just teenage boy
drama, okay? She likes him.
239
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:20,439
She's worried he doesn't like her back.
240
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,919
And I'm already telling you too much.
241
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,939
Okay. Don't rat on me.
242
00:09:23,940 --> 00:09:26,360
I hate this. Your first crush
is an important milestone.
243
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:28,401
- And I wanna be a part of it.
- Me too.
244
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,530
I can't believe she'd open up
her heart to you over us.
245
00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:34,059
You're like the jock in every teen
movie who dates the dorky girl
246
00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:36,576
- on a bet.
- Hey, that was one time.
247
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:39,300
And when Gwen took her glasses
off, she was stunning,
248
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,789
so joke's on you.
249
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:42,960
Look, I'm just trying to help. Okay?
250
00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:44,419
I told Shamiah to talk
to you guys about it,
251
00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:45,719
but she said you won't understand.
252
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,160
Why wouldn't we understand?
253
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,460
Because it's about a boy?
254
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:51,675
And she thinks we can't
relate because we're gay?
255
00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,343
That can't be it, can't it?
256
00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,762
She likes boys and we don't.
257
00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:58,120
- We do not.
- Yeah, it's pretty obvious.
258
00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,643
You have a k.d. lang cookbook.
259
00:10:00,650 --> 00:10:02,319
"Constant Cravings"
has some solid recipes.
260
00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,344
I was so afraid that this might happen.
261
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:06,144
We need to make it clear to Shamiah
262
00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:07,509
that we understand what
she's going through.
263
00:10:07,510 --> 00:10:09,523
Otherwise, she's just gonna
shut us out completely.
264
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,420
That's Shamiah.
265
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,400
Cayden just posted his
new kicks on the 'gram,
266
00:10:15,420 --> 00:10:16,900
and she needs my help with a comment.
267
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,537
It's a delicate dance,
might take a while.
268
00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:26,000
Oh, she did ask me to tell
you guys just one thing.
269
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:27,360
What is it?
270
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:30,180
She wants tacos for dinner.
271
00:10:32,890 --> 00:10:35,043
Can I please watch "Gossip Girl?"
272
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:36,980
Why, I didn't realize you were an adult.
273
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,340
Do you wanna go to jury
duty and pay taxes too?
274
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:52,230
- Tom?
- No. No, no.
275
00:10:52,250 --> 00:10:56,320
It's Tom�s, and I'm here
to show you a wild night.
276
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:59,451
Really? And where did Tom�s
get such a sexy car?
277
00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:01,340
Well, Tom�s knows a
guy in private equity.
278
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,247
Has a mansion, kind of
a mean housekeeper...
279
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:06,279
it's Connor. I don't know if
you guessed yet. It's Connor.
280
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,640
I borrowed his car. Tell you what?
281
00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:08,989
The babysitter gets here any minute.
282
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:11,019
Why don't you go inside,
change into something sexy,
283
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:14,380
and then get into this sexy car... sexy?
284
00:11:14,390 --> 00:11:15,544
Oh.
285
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:18,637
I like the way Tom�s thinks.
286
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,100
Well, get used to it,
287
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,580
because one... oh, it's in neutral.
288
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:22,849
I think I left it in neutral.
289
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,185
Go ahead, you change.
And I'll take care of this.
290
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:27,960
- Ah...
- It'll be fine. As long as I...
291
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,849
Left the keys... I think I...
292
00:11:29,850 --> 00:11:31,459
I think I left the keys inside.
It's good. Go ahead.
293
00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:32,720
Go inside. It's fine.
294
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,020
It's all good. It's fine. It's fine.
295
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:48,083
So where is Tom�s taking me?
296
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:51,004
How does a seaplane
around the Bay sound?
297
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:54,676
Wild but expensive.
298
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,050
Money means nothing to Tom�s.
299
00:11:57,060 --> 00:12:00,414
Although he does know his
way around a Groupon.
300
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,760
We'll be sipping champagne
and taking the sights
301
00:12:02,780 --> 00:12:05,433
from 1,500 feet above sea level.
302
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,769
- Oh. That's pretty high up.
- Yes,
303
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:12,190
Tom�s is doing his very best
not to think about that.
304
00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:15,360
- Oh.
- Oh.
305
00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:17,200
Oh. Is that a good sound?
306
00:12:17,220 --> 00:12:19,940
I'm just still kind of
getting the feel of it.
307
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,242
Took it pretty slow on the
way over to our house.
308
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,910
_
309
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,360
Oh, you know what? I'm gonna
let this go to voicemail.
310
00:12:26,380 --> 00:12:28,456
He's probably just making sure
I'm taking care of his baby.
311
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,374
Tom, what are you doing?
312
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,400
Oh, okay. I meant to hang up.
313
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,088
I'm just gonna say, what's up, bro?
314
00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:36,950
What's up is, you stole my car.
315
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,353
Lupe just texted me.
316
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,302
No, no, I didn't.
317
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,123
The Post-It note I left
318
00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:44,556
clearly states that I'm borrowing it.
319
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,224
You don't even know
how to drive a stick.
320
00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:47,976
Yeah, I do. I learned in high school.
321
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:50,394
You stalled on a hill
and rolled backwards
322
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:51,980
into Katie French's lemonade stand.
323
00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:54,540
So I'll avoid hills.
324
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,652
We live in San Francisco.
It's nothing but hills, man.
325
00:12:57,660 --> 00:12:59,550
Hi, Connor. I'm here too.
326
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:02,220
We will bring your car back
in one piece, I promise.
327
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,533
Oh, hey, Marina.
328
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:05,019
At least there's one adult in the car.
329
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:06,400
Just tell Dom Toretto over here
330
00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:08,913
to back off on the gas when he shifts.
331
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,584
Right, that's it. Okay. Good
talking to you, man. Let you go.
332
00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:15,350
Jeez. Freak out much?
333
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,131
- I'm still on, Tom.
- Right, okay. Bye for realsies.
334
00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:22,344
All right, let's get this wild
night back on track, huh?
335
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:24,840
Was it off track? I didn't notice.
336
00:13:26,190 --> 00:13:27,740
You know what?
337
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,740
Let's open this baby up,
see what she can really do.
338
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,189
Ooh.
339
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,733
Maybe a little fast though?
340
00:13:36,740 --> 00:13:39,778
For Tom�s, there are no speed limits.
341
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,610
Well, legally, there are.
342
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,940
Why are you replacing
our lesbian memoirs
343
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,283
with the Twilight books?
344
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:57,962
To demonstrate to Shamiah
that we honor hetero culture.
345
00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,589
And that includes vampires?
346
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:02,217
I just think it would help if
we straighten up the place.
347
00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:04,302
Get it, "straighten up"?
348
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,721
Oh, I got it. I just chose not to react.
349
00:14:06,730 --> 00:14:09,015
Okay. Is Jane Austen gay?
350
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:12,102
- She never married.
- Goodbye.
351
00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:15,105
What about this large ceramic owl?
352
00:14:15,110 --> 00:14:16,440
Clearly gay.
353
00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:19,260
Sarah, I want Shamiah to come
talk to us just as much as you do,
354
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,458
but I don't think this is the
best way to go about it.
355
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:22,559
But we need to show her
356
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,893
that we understand
straight relationships.
357
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:28,201
So we're gonna watch "The Bachelorette."
358
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:31,840
Just follow my lead, okay?
359
00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:34,749
And then Tom was like,
"I'll avoid hills."
360
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,410
Hey, guys, was ice cream fun?
361
00:14:38,430 --> 00:14:41,210
Do you want to come and sit,
watch some TV with us?
362
00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:43,098
Oh, you guys are a part
of Bachelor Nation?
363
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:44,809
You could have been in my
fantasy league this whole time.
364
00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:46,179
Yeah, it's, like, one of
our favorite shows.
365
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:47,449
- Right, Lulu?
- Watch it every Thursday.
366
00:14:47,450 --> 00:14:48,763
- Tuesday.
- Tuesday.
367
00:14:48,770 --> 00:14:51,641
I've literally never seen
you watch it before.
368
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:53,279
What do you think we
do when you go to bed,
369
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,280
just, like, sit around and knit?
370
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,980
Come sit.
371
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,200
Come on in here.
372
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,320
Oh, I hope she picks this guy
373
00:15:04,340 --> 00:15:06,680
'cause he has the most...
the best muscles.
374
00:15:06,690 --> 00:15:08,079
- You're nailing it.
- Thank you.
375
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,560
Joe...
376
00:15:11,860 --> 00:15:15,690
Oh, wouldn't. It's just so
many hunks to choose from.
377
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,959
You know, how is she gonna pick?
378
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,420
I bet she wishes she could
talk to her parents about it.
379
00:15:20,430 --> 00:15:21,919
That's what the hometown visits are for.
380
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,214
I think I've got homework.
381
00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:25,800
No. Homework? No, we're talking hotties.
382
00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:29,520
You know, your mom and I were
just talking about which Chris
383
00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:30,950
is the foxiest.
384
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,390
And I think Hemsworth, and then Evans.
385
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,300
What do you think, Lulu?
386
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,300
Chris... toff Walz?
387
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,160
Pratt.
388
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,740
Ah, but there's Pine.
389
00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:44,944
This is officially weird.
I'm going to my room.
390
00:15:44,950 --> 00:15:46,460
Okay.
391
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,690
You'd think I'd be better at this.
392
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:51,993
I pretended to be straight for 18 years.
393
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,786
Oh, that's what you were doing.
394
00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:57,414
I mean, yeah. Yeah.
You guys... you crushed it.
395
00:15:57,420 --> 00:16:00,960
For a second, I was like, "Did
I walk into a sorority house?"
396
00:16:00,970 --> 00:16:04,088
Have you guys ever met a
straight person before?
397
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:10,595
My apologies, Officer, but
Tom�s is a rule breaker.
398
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:15,260
But not Tom, who's very, very sorry.
399
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,580
And an organ donor, if that
helps me with anything over...
400
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,560
No. Okay.
401
00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:22,443
Man, the seaplane leaves in ten minutes.
402
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:24,025
We're going to miss it. I'm sorry.
403
00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:25,163
It's fine.
404
00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:27,064
The high-speed chase was exciting.
405
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,519
No! Come on. I promised
you a wild night,
406
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,865
and I'm gonna deliver.
What about this place?
407
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:33,904
It seems badly lit and
potentially dangerous.
408
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:37,340
Seriously? You wanna just walk in
without checking the Yelp reviews?
409
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:38,915
There's a guy passed out in the curb.
410
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,584
Just one guy? Perfecto.
411
00:16:41,590 --> 00:16:44,337
- Tom�s!
- Stay close.
412
00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:46,190
No idea what's behind those doors.
413
00:16:46,210 --> 00:16:47,853
Ay-ay-ay.
414
00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:52,700
Cash only?
415
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,265
It's 2021. Who even uses cash anymore?
416
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:57,559
I always tell you to carry
some just in case.
417
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,270
Okay, first of all, germs.
418
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,600
Second, it makes it harder
to track expenses.
419
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:05,000
I'm not keeping paper receipts.
420
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,526
They're also covered in germs.
421
00:17:06,530 --> 00:17:09,989
It's fine. I appreciate that
you tried. I really do.
422
00:17:09,990 --> 00:17:13,157
Let's go home and watch
"Love It or List It."
423
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,200
Or...
424
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:19,240
Pfft. Yeah, right.
425
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:21,874
No.
426
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,590
S�.
427
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,500
Check out this meme.
428
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,260
Oh, my God. You're savage.
429
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,299
I know.
430
00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,700
If Shamiah won't confide in us,
431
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,039
at least there's someone in her life
432
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,620
she feels comfortable talking to.
433
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,600
Yeah, I guess you're right.
434
00:17:41,610 --> 00:17:43,730
I could've used a cool uncle growing up.
435
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:46,220
Mine was in an all-synthesizer band.
436
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,700
Mine made his own yogurt.
437
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:49,652
Gross.
438
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,220
Hey, guys. Can we talk?
439
00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:53,573
What's up? Pizza rolls ready?
440
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:56,180
They're cooling. I just want to say,
441
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,870
we're sorry about all
the weirdness earlier.
442
00:17:58,890 --> 00:18:02,260
We were just being silly
and feeling a little jealous
443
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,780
because Uncle Connor knew
about Cayden and we didn't.
444
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:07,280
You told them about Cayden?
445
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:08,740
You broke the code.
446
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,883
No, I didn't mean to.
It just slipped out.
447
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:15,560
Okay. We just want to say that
we're always here to listen,
448
00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:17,674
even if you think that
maybe we can't relate
449
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:21,059
to what you're going through
because we're gay.
450
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:22,540
Wait, what?
451
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,470
Why would I care about that? I'm Gen Z.
452
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:29,190
Oh, then what is it?
453
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,820
I didn't wanna talk to you about stuff
454
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,854
because you're my parents.
455
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:36,616
And you're, like, cringe.
456
00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:40,659
Oh, that's it? We're just cringe.
457
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:41,669
We're cringe.
458
00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,400
Like all the other parents.
459
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,540
We're cringe. We're
cringe, we're cringe.
460
00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:49,170
- See?
- Yeah, it's hard to watch.
461
00:18:49,180 --> 00:18:51,274
Cringe, cringe, cringe,
cringe, cringe...
462
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:52,450
Oh, man.
463
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,676
Sorry. We're just so relieved.
464
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,900
Yeah.
465
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,260
Now about Cayden,
466
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,349
just remember that you are
perfect just the way you are.
467
00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:04,580
Okay? Don't feel any pressure
to change yourself
468
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:05,937
to make a boy like you back.
469
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:07,605
Uncle Connor said the same thing.
470
00:19:07,610 --> 00:19:10,400
Well, you're lucky to
have such a cool uncle.
471
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,950
He also said I have to
step up my sneaker game
472
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,680
since boys love cool kicks.
473
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,820
So he's buying me a pair of Pump Omnis.
474
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,180
Yeah.
475
00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:21,850
Whoa, okay. Okay, whoa.
476
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,140
I just didn't know it was
gonna hurt this much.
477
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,290
I... I can't look. Is he almost done?
478
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:30,670
Ah, he's only on the R of "Marina."
479
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:32,880
Ah. Come on. Come on.
480
00:19:32,890 --> 00:19:34,382
Are you sure you can handle the rest?
481
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:38,928
No, you're worth it.
You are so worth it.
482
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:42,100
And just... why is there so much blood?
483
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,300
Hey, hey, hey. Listen, I know
tonight didn't go as you planned,
484
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,340
but it means the world to me
that you put in the effort, okay?
485
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,148
And this is a really nice surprise.
486
00:19:50,150 --> 00:19:54,080
Look, I promise to be more
into trying new things.
487
00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,571
And I know I'm not the
sexiest guy in the world.
488
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,615
Honey, I know who I married, okay?
489
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:03,220
I love Tom�s, and I would
not mind seeing him again,
490
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,997
but I am happy to go home with Tom.
491
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,799
In fact, I've changed my mind.
492
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,256
I want to get "Tom" instead of "Tom�s."
493
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:17,759
Because she loves me just as I am.
494
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,218
Absolutely.
495
00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:22,964
And it's two letters shorter.
That looks very painful.
496
00:20:22,970 --> 00:20:25,034
Ahh!
497
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,320
Oh, here's the bone.
498
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:27,769
He's at the bone! He's on the bone.
499
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:30,550
Ah!
500
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,089
You've been sitting in my
driveway for 30 minutes.
501
00:20:54,090 --> 00:20:55,838
You're gonna return the car, or...
502
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,800
Just have a minute to say goodbye?
503
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:02,660
Sure, Tom.
504
00:21:05,620 --> 00:21:06,641
Privately?
505
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:31,958
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
37831
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.