Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,338 --> 00:00:04,510
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:07,749
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,816 --> 00:00:11,422
♪ But where are those
good old�fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,489 --> 00:00:14,428
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,495 --> 00:00:18,036
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,103 --> 00:00:21,242
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,342 --> 00:00:22,946
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,013 --> 00:00:24,248
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,348 --> 00:00:30,193
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:35,705 --> 00:00:37,174
Where's Dad?
11
00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:39,478
It's office birthdays today
at the brewery.
12
00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:41,449
Ever since your father
was put in charge,
13
00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,521
he's been taking it
very seriously.
14
00:00:43,588 --> 00:00:45,725
Okay, Brian,
what do you got for me?
15
00:00:45,792 --> 00:00:47,461
Okay, birthday jokes.
16
00:00:47,529 --> 00:00:51,102
"We may be colleagues, but
there's no one in your league."
17
00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:52,939
Boy, that's a brick
off the backboard.
18
00:00:53,006 --> 00:00:54,008
Chris, what do you got?
19
00:00:54,075 --> 00:00:56,780
"I drove the family
to Disneyland for vacation,
20
00:00:56,847 --> 00:00:59,452
"and when we got off
the highway, the sign said,
21
00:00:59,553 --> 00:01:03,226
'Disneyland, Left,'
so we drove back home."
22
00:01:04,028 --> 00:01:05,865
Chris, that's going in the show.
23
00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:06,767
See that, Brian?
24
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,403
Don't be afraid
to pull the heartstrings.
25
00:01:08,470 --> 00:01:10,742
Peter, don't you think you might
be putting too much time
26
00:01:10,808 --> 00:01:13,413
into office birthdays
and not enough into your job?
27
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,252
Come on, Lois. It's the one
thing I look forward to at work.
28
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:17,822
It's the one thing I'm good at.
29
00:01:17,889 --> 00:01:20,160
I am to birthdays
what J. K. Rowling is
30
00:01:20,227 --> 00:01:22,766
to now�problematic
wizard stories.
31
00:01:22,832 --> 00:01:24,636
Perhaps Slytherin
32
00:01:24,703 --> 00:01:27,308
or maybe Hufflepuff
33
00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:30,480
or trans women
aren't really women.
34
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:31,316
Wait, what?
35
00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:34,155
I mean, uh,
the first two things.
36
00:01:34,221 --> 00:01:37,261
Okay, who's the next
girl or boy?
37
00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:39,298
There's only those two.
38
00:01:42,071 --> 00:01:45,344
PETER:
Who's ready for June birthdays?
39
00:01:45,410 --> 00:01:46,446
(cheering)
40
00:01:46,547 --> 00:01:49,786
(lively orchestral music
playing)
41
00:01:49,886 --> 00:01:53,193
♪ June is bustin' out all over ♪
42
00:01:53,259 --> 00:01:56,332
♪ Every birthday boy and girl
who's on the clock ♪
43
00:01:56,432 --> 00:01:58,470
♪ First there's Annie
from accounting ♪
44
00:01:58,571 --> 00:02:00,207
♪ Just turned 40,
but who's counting? ♪
45
00:02:00,307 --> 00:02:03,313
♪ And that old guy Frank
down on the dock ♪
46
00:02:04,348 --> 00:02:06,787
Ladies and gentlemen,
Leslie Uggams.
47
00:02:07,889 --> 00:02:11,229
♪ June is bustin' out all over ♪
48
00:02:11,295 --> 00:02:14,368
♪ Ah, tole, da, da�doe�da,
tinkin' can ♪
49
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,239
♪ All the hanna�manna wishes ♪
50
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:17,842
♪ And the hanna�wenna fishes ♪
51
00:02:17,909 --> 00:02:21,282
♪ Out of all the morning glories
on the spam ♪
52
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,821
♪ Because it's June ♪
53
00:02:23,921 --> 00:02:25,424
♪ Da�da�da ♪
54
00:02:25,490 --> 00:02:29,065
♪ Just because it's June, June ♪
55
00:02:29,131 --> 00:02:32,037
♪ June! ♪
56
00:02:32,104 --> 00:02:34,609
�(song ends)
�(applause)
57
00:02:34,710 --> 00:02:36,412
Wait, isn't it November?
58
00:02:36,513 --> 00:02:39,553
Who cares? They are marvelous.
59
00:02:43,828 --> 00:02:46,800
So I drove my family
down to Disneyland for vacation.
60
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,637
When we got off the highway,
the sign said,
61
00:02:48,738 --> 00:02:51,710
"Disneyland, Left,"
so we drove back home.
62
00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:54,716
(laughter)
63
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:56,587
Thanks. I wrote that.
64
00:02:56,653 --> 00:02:58,657
Oh, I'll show him.
65
00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:03,734
I own the school paper.
66
00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:06,005
Get me dirt
on Principal Shepherd's car.
67
00:03:06,072 --> 00:03:08,209
I also own the school car wash.
68
00:03:08,276 --> 00:03:10,280
Myeah. Myeah.
69
00:03:14,288 --> 00:03:16,359
Children, please continue
independent play
70
00:03:16,426 --> 00:03:19,833
while I go see
if I just sneezed my tampon out.
71
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,672
Let's see. Any good reads here?
72
00:03:22,739 --> 00:03:23,941
Hmm, what's this?
73
00:03:25,945 --> 00:03:27,549
Hmm.
74
00:03:27,615 --> 00:03:29,853
Mm�hmm. Mm�hmm.
75
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,890
My word, this is brilliant.
76
00:03:33,828 --> 00:03:35,865
Now to find my mark.
77
00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,571
Hey, Stewie. What you reading?
78
00:03:38,637 --> 00:03:40,975
Something with
different cloths to feel?
79
00:03:41,042 --> 00:03:43,581
No, not since, uh...
not since COVID.
80
00:03:43,647 --> 00:03:47,522
I say, Doug, it appears you've
got something on your shirt.
81
00:03:47,589 --> 00:03:48,791
Is that so?
82
00:03:48,858 --> 00:03:50,895
♪ ♪
83
00:04:01,884 --> 00:04:04,923
(slow�motion groaning)
84
00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:10,935
Ha�ha!
There's nothing on your shirt!
85
00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,639
It was all a ruse.
86
00:04:15,076 --> 00:04:18,216
(wailing)
87
00:04:18,283 --> 00:04:20,053
Doug, are you okay?
88
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:21,590
Oh, my God, what happened?
89
00:04:21,657 --> 00:04:24,094
�Who did this to you?
�Stewie.
90
00:04:24,161 --> 00:04:26,432
Stewart Griffin�Suarez,
is that true?
91
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:27,234
No!
92
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:28,236
And thank you for that.
93
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:29,472
Rupert and I
decided to hyphenate.
94
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:32,077
I hope it doesn't make me look
like too much of a pushover.
95
00:04:32,177 --> 00:04:34,048
Now, where was I? Oh, yes.
96
00:04:34,115 --> 00:04:35,618
(sighs) Screw it.
97
00:04:35,685 --> 00:04:36,820
Yes, I hit him.
98
00:04:36,887 --> 00:04:38,423
And it was glorious.
99
00:04:38,490 --> 00:04:40,862
This is
your third strike, Stewie.
100
00:04:40,962 --> 00:04:42,431
That means no more time�outs.
101
00:04:42,498 --> 00:04:43,901
You get a detention.
102
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,170
Detention?
103
00:04:45,237 --> 00:04:46,807
(scoffs) You can't scare me.
104
00:04:46,907 --> 00:04:49,311
The only thing that scares me
is a sudden loud noise,
105
00:04:49,378 --> 00:04:50,781
even if it's only spoken.
106
00:04:50,848 --> 00:04:52,519
TV ANNOUNCER:
We now return to Val Kilmer
107
00:04:52,585 --> 00:04:53,854
and Robert Downey Jr.
108
00:04:53,921 --> 00:04:55,056
�in Kiss Kiss...
�Ooh!
109
00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:56,727
�...Bang Bang!
�(screams)
110
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,970
So, how did
the birthday thing go?
111
00:05:02,037 --> 00:05:03,239
Amazing, Lois.
112
00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:05,110
I've even been asked
to do a TED Talk.
113
00:05:05,210 --> 00:05:08,249
What is a birthday?
114
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:10,555
I think it can best
be understood by breaking down
115
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:13,459
the word "birth" and "day."
116
00:05:13,527 --> 00:05:15,531
Where the hell is everyone?
117
00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:17,769
Ah, okay. Now it makes sense.
118
00:05:22,411 --> 00:05:24,950
(kissing) Bye�bye, Stewie.
119
00:05:25,016 --> 00:05:26,219
Yeah, buh�bye, whatever.
120
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:27,622
Stewie, where are you headed?
121
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:29,158
You've got detention
this morning.
122
00:05:29,258 --> 00:05:30,528
That's where I'm headed.
123
00:05:30,595 --> 00:05:33,366
Stewie, no, detention
isn't in preschool.
124
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,270
It's in
the elementary school building.
125
00:05:35,337 --> 00:05:36,874
(dramatic musical sting)
126
00:05:36,974 --> 00:05:38,476
The elementary school?
127
00:05:38,544 --> 00:05:40,280
But that's where
the big kids are.
128
00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:41,750
(dramatic musical sting)
129
00:05:41,817 --> 00:05:44,756
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I ruins y'all's reveal?
130
00:05:44,823 --> 00:05:47,094
Let me go ahead
and scooch back a little.
131
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,498
Beep, beep, beep.
132
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:50,868
(dramatic musical sting)
133
00:05:50,968 --> 00:05:55,076
Oh, no!
Look at that big scary school!
134
00:05:56,513 --> 00:05:58,617
(dramatic musical sting)
135
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,928
♪ ♪
136
00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,839
My God, these kids
have their teeth.
137
00:06:09,906 --> 00:06:12,812
And where are their pacifiers?
How do they ever sleep?
138
00:06:12,912 --> 00:06:14,549
Detention kids are scary.
139
00:06:14,616 --> 00:06:17,387
Especially that fourth grader
writing on the board.
140
00:06:21,195 --> 00:06:22,632
Ah, that is such a load of
141
00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:25,470
(Mickey Mouse voice):
truth, a wonderful load of truth.
142
00:06:25,538 --> 00:06:27,775
(disco music playing inside)
143
00:06:29,546 --> 00:06:31,048
(disco music continues)
144
00:06:31,115 --> 00:06:32,585
All right, birthdays.
145
00:06:32,652 --> 00:06:34,221
(disco whoop):
Whoop, whoop!
146
00:06:34,288 --> 00:06:36,158
MAN:
What the hell is this?
147
00:06:36,225 --> 00:06:37,595
It's happy birthday
148
00:06:37,662 --> 00:06:38,964
(disco whoop):
to you.
149
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,300
I didn't approve this.
150
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:41,637
Oh, yeah? Well, who the hell are
151
00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:42,906
(disco whoop):
you�you?
152
00:06:42,972 --> 00:06:44,275
I'm Preston Lloyd,
153
00:06:44,341 --> 00:06:46,747
the new manager of the brewery
and your boss.
154
00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:48,316
(disco whoop):
Is that true�true?
155
00:06:48,416 --> 00:06:52,659
Yes. And I've been charged with
improving brewery productivity.
156
00:06:52,759 --> 00:06:55,631
And it has become clear to me
that the best way to start is
157
00:06:55,698 --> 00:06:58,637
by canceling office birthdays,
effective immediately.
158
00:06:58,704 --> 00:07:00,340
I don't know how to stop
on roller skates,
159
00:07:00,407 --> 00:07:02,812
so hang on until
I run out of momentum.
160
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,085
What?!
161
00:07:11,863 --> 00:07:15,036
But, Mr. Lloyd, you can't
cancel office birthdays.
162
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,907
I'm pretty sure I can.
163
00:07:16,974 --> 00:07:19,980
Mr. Griffin, I like
focused, productive employees.
164
00:07:20,046 --> 00:07:23,119
But this is a brewery.
Beer is supposed to be fun.
165
00:07:23,186 --> 00:07:25,290
I've been sober for 46 years.
166
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:27,160
�How old are you?
�46.
167
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:29,231
A brewery is not about
getting drunk.
168
00:07:29,298 --> 00:07:30,200
It's a business.
169
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:33,072
I need disciplined,
productive employees.
170
00:07:33,139 --> 00:07:34,475
Can you be that, Mr. Griffin?
171
00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:35,878
Oh, heavens, no.
172
00:07:35,945 --> 00:07:37,782
Then we're going to have
a problem.
173
00:07:37,849 --> 00:07:40,353
But, Mr. Lloyd, you can't
take away office birthdays.
174
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,355
People love 'em.
175
00:07:41,422 --> 00:07:42,692
(sighs)
176
00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,296
If it means that much
to the employees, fine.
177
00:07:45,363 --> 00:07:46,365
Yay!
178
00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:47,835
�I'll do them.
�Aw.
179
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,073
�(feedback squeals)
�Attention, employees.
180
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:51,777
This is Mr. Lloyd, your manager.
181
00:07:51,877 --> 00:07:52,912
I will now resume
182
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:54,983
the office birthday celebration
from earlier.
183
00:07:55,050 --> 00:07:55,885
(clears throat)
184
00:07:55,951 --> 00:07:59,759
Helen Daily, date of birth
12/10/1968.
185
00:07:59,826 --> 00:08:04,234
Martin Burke, date of birth
12/13/1969.
186
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:07,407
J.H. Christ, 12/25...
187
00:08:07,474 --> 00:08:10,648
zero, zero, zero, zero.
188
00:08:10,715 --> 00:08:13,353
You now have two minutes
to consume cake.
189
00:08:13,453 --> 00:08:16,526
(stopwatch ticking)
190
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,503
(lively chatter)
191
00:08:24,976 --> 00:08:27,414
Hey, do you know where I can
get a pacifier in this place?
192
00:08:27,481 --> 00:08:28,449
I'm jonesing.
193
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,521
Anyone hears you
say that in here,
194
00:08:30,588 --> 00:08:31,957
you'll get your ass kicked.
195
00:08:32,024 --> 00:08:35,163
You're the "something
on your shirt" kid, right?
196
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:36,265
How did you know?
197
00:08:36,332 --> 00:08:39,471
Well, I make it
my business to know.
198
00:08:39,572 --> 00:08:41,275
You got purdy lips.
199
00:08:41,342 --> 00:08:43,012
Why, thank you.
It's a new serum.
200
00:08:43,079 --> 00:08:45,618
Move over, lip balms.
The secret is retinol.
201
00:08:45,684 --> 00:08:47,087
Let's talk later.
202
00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:52,431
I can't believe
the new jerk manager
203
00:08:52,497 --> 00:08:53,834
canceled office birthdays.
204
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,005
It was the one thing in life
I looked forward to.
205
00:08:56,072 --> 00:08:59,211
Is this manager
a no�nonsense, button�down man
206
00:08:59,278 --> 00:09:01,182
who's also been in the military?
207
00:09:01,248 --> 00:09:02,919
�How'd you know?
�Mm�hmm.
208
00:09:03,019 --> 00:09:05,023
�Well, what do I do?
�Take it from a lawman,
209
00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,360
whenever authorities have tried
to take away something
210
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:08,831
the people find precious,
211
00:09:08,897 --> 00:09:11,435
the people have found ways
around the law.
212
00:09:11,503 --> 00:09:14,308
They always find a way,
like nature.
213
00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:15,811
�(birds chirping)
�Look at that.
214
00:09:15,911 --> 00:09:18,917
Tree bent to keep growing
toward the sun.
215
00:09:18,984 --> 00:09:23,126
Anyway, I'm Joe,
and I don't do a lot of these.
216
00:09:25,931 --> 00:09:27,835
Boy, wouldn't you like to know
217
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,173
what those little guys
are saying?
218
00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,277
♪ ♪
219
00:09:40,895 --> 00:09:42,497
PETER:
What's the password?
220
00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,134
(hushed):
"Fat man."
221
00:09:45,771 --> 00:09:48,075
�(lively chatter)
�(jazzy piano music playing)
222
00:09:53,687 --> 00:09:55,825
I'd like to wish
all you birthday boys and girls
223
00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:58,029
a special day
with the help of...
224
00:09:58,129 --> 00:09:59,131
The Beatles.
225
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,168
One, two, three, hit it.
226
00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:04,809
(crowd cheering)
227
00:10:04,876 --> 00:10:07,815
(jazzy piano music playing)
228
00:10:08,617 --> 00:10:09,819
The boss is coming.
229
00:10:09,886 --> 00:10:11,322
�(music stops)
�(clamoring)
230
00:10:16,499 --> 00:10:19,037
And this is our final stop
on the tour.
231
00:10:19,104 --> 00:10:20,006
What's this room?
232
00:10:20,106 --> 00:10:21,776
Oh, this is
an unused meeting room
233
00:10:21,843 --> 00:10:23,647
that no one pays attention to.
234
00:10:23,714 --> 00:10:25,250
Ah. Well, then,
235
00:10:25,316 --> 00:10:28,156
I suppose there's no need
to pay any attention.
236
00:10:31,863 --> 00:10:35,036
Okay, there was an elderly
Jewish family hiding in there,
237
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:37,107
and I don't know
what to tell them.
238
00:10:37,207 --> 00:10:40,113
�(school bell ringing)
�(kids chattering)
239
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:42,919
Well, Stewie, you've completed
your detention.
240
00:10:42,985 --> 00:10:44,689
What have you learned
from this experience?
241
00:10:44,756 --> 00:10:46,358
That your mother's a whore.
242
00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:53,574
Hey, Stewie.
How was your detention?
243
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,878
Brian Griffin,
is that really you?
244
00:10:55,978 --> 00:10:57,480
Been a long time, it has.
245
00:10:57,582 --> 00:10:58,650
I saw you this morning.
246
00:10:58,717 --> 00:11:02,157
The world's gone and got itself
in a big damn hurry.
247
00:11:02,257 --> 00:11:04,729
You lose track of time
on the inside, Brian.
248
00:11:04,796 --> 00:11:05,798
You wouldn't know.
249
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,300
You ain't seen
the things I've seen.
250
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,973
Preschool detention?
No, I guess I haven't.
251
00:11:10,039 --> 00:11:11,977
�What'd you do in there?
�Got jacked.
252
00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:15,149
�You look exactly the same.
�And yet I got jacked.
253
00:11:17,955 --> 00:11:20,694
Okay, time to make
this office my own
254
00:11:20,761 --> 00:11:23,667
and decorate it
with my prized achievements.
255
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,205
Ah, let's start with
my Big Mouth Billy Bass
256
00:11:26,272 --> 00:11:27,440
with the battery removed
257
00:11:27,508 --> 00:11:30,814
so I don't have to be
interrupted by that nonsense.
258
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,221
Ah, my framed ticket stub
259
00:11:34,321 --> 00:11:37,294
from opening night of
Independence Day.
260
00:11:37,394 --> 00:11:39,197
My Purple Heart.
261
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,337
�(jazzy piano music playing)
�(lively chatter)
262
00:11:43,574 --> 00:11:45,778
Today, for
a special birthdays treat,
263
00:11:45,844 --> 00:11:48,182
I've acquired Marty McFly's amp.
264
00:11:52,792 --> 00:11:54,261
(low electrical humming)
265
00:12:00,741 --> 00:12:02,612
Who's ready to rock birthdays?
266
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,448
(cheering)
267
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,222
There.
268
00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:11,195
A lifetime of
fragilely framed achievements.
269
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,499
(electric guitar blares)
270
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:14,936
What the hell?
271
00:12:20,013 --> 00:12:21,015
(gasps)
272
00:12:21,081 --> 00:12:22,183
Mr. Lloyd!
273
00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:23,587
What is going on in here?
274
00:12:23,687 --> 00:12:25,557
(gasps)
275
00:12:25,624 --> 00:12:28,062
Ow! Ow! Aah!
276
00:12:28,162 --> 00:12:29,464
Sorry.
277
00:12:29,565 --> 00:12:30,834
Aah! That didn't work!
278
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,170
Ow, my bones!
279
00:12:32,237 --> 00:12:34,509
I had a very good rotation guy
work on this.
280
00:12:34,575 --> 00:12:36,178
Ow, though!
281
00:12:36,245 --> 00:12:38,382
Ow! Please stop!
282
00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:40,086
Sorry. Sorry.
I�I don't know what to say.
283
00:12:40,153 --> 00:12:42,123
I'll call the guy. I�I don't
know, I don't know what to say.
284
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:43,994
Griffin, is this some kind of
285
00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:46,231
secret birthday
celebration room?
286
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:49,404
I made a decision
to cancel office birthdays,
287
00:12:49,471 --> 00:12:51,408
and it was very explicit.
288
00:12:51,475 --> 00:12:52,578
There was nudity?
289
00:12:52,645 --> 00:12:55,784
Mr. Griffin, you leave me
no other choice.
290
00:12:55,851 --> 00:12:57,989
�You're fired.
�Fired?
291
00:12:58,055 --> 00:13:00,393
Can I still get paid
and just not come?
292
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:01,596
No.
293
00:13:01,663 --> 00:13:03,533
Well, I guess
it's time to say goodbye
294
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,405
to the security guards
whose names I never learned.
295
00:13:06,472 --> 00:13:08,610
Take care, Cap'n.
296
00:13:08,710 --> 00:13:10,279
Stay golden, Chief.
297
00:13:10,346 --> 00:13:11,916
Be well, Buckaroo.
298
00:13:12,017 --> 00:13:13,954
Bye,
Francesca Louise Allessandro.
299
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:16,660
Say hi to Max and Samuel
and your sister Eloise for me.
300
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,462
And good luck
with your night courses.
301
00:13:18,563 --> 00:13:20,601
Hey, do you have, like,
a nickname on Instagram?
302
00:13:20,668 --> 00:13:22,037
I'm having trouble finding you.
303
00:13:27,815 --> 00:13:30,053
I can't believe you were fired
from the brewery.
304
00:13:30,153 --> 00:13:32,257
I mean, how are we gonna
pay our bills?
305
00:13:32,357 --> 00:13:33,192
That depends.
306
00:13:33,292 --> 00:13:35,063
When you use Venmo,
do they just, like,
307
00:13:35,163 --> 00:13:36,966
believe you
that you have the money?
308
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,169
No.
309
00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,006
�Right?
�CHRIS and MEG: No.
310
00:13:40,073 --> 00:13:41,876
Fine. Maybe they'll take me back
311
00:13:41,943 --> 00:13:44,615
as the Radio City Rockette
with too�big shoes.
312
00:13:44,682 --> 00:13:46,920
(lively big band music playing)
313
00:13:50,661 --> 00:13:52,063
Shoes!
314
00:13:57,541 --> 00:13:58,777
Shoes!
315
00:13:58,844 --> 00:14:00,714
Should we just get him
smaller shoes?
316
00:14:00,781 --> 00:14:02,985
Wouldn't matter.
He butters his feet.
317
00:14:06,793 --> 00:14:08,062
Stewie, breakfast!
318
00:14:08,129 --> 00:14:10,366
(harmonica playing somber music)
319
00:14:19,519 --> 00:14:22,190
When did this new slab of beef
get delivered?
320
00:14:22,290 --> 00:14:24,027
My name's Chris.
321
00:14:24,094 --> 00:14:25,764
You don't have a name
until I give you one.
322
00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:29,304
You're a little young and plump
to be in a place like this.
323
00:14:29,404 --> 00:14:30,239
You need a friend.
324
00:14:30,373 --> 00:14:32,812
Someone who can provide you
with protection.
325
00:14:32,878 --> 00:14:34,281
I could be your friend.
326
00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:36,853
All we'll need is
a BIC pen and a lighter.
327
00:14:36,953 --> 00:14:39,992
Why? So you can burn
a swastika into my butt?
328
00:14:40,093 --> 00:14:43,099
Well, you just ruined
the surprise, you goofball.
329
00:14:49,512 --> 00:14:51,415
Oh. Stewie.
330
00:14:51,482 --> 00:14:52,785
(chuckles nervously)
331
00:14:52,852 --> 00:14:54,254
What brings you by?
332
00:14:54,354 --> 00:14:56,091
You're gonna give me
what I want.
333
00:14:56,158 --> 00:14:58,597
Um, wh�what are you
talking about?
334
00:14:58,663 --> 00:14:59,799
You know.
335
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,571
We're doing this, and you're
gonna find a way to enjoy it.
336
00:15:02,671 --> 00:15:04,909
(sobbing)
337
00:15:06,679 --> 00:15:08,917
(upbeat electronic music
playing)
338
00:15:11,088 --> 00:15:12,858
(sobbing):
I�I don't like it.
339
00:15:12,958 --> 00:15:15,263
I don't understand
what's happening.
340
00:15:15,363 --> 00:15:17,902
The three sisters have
a magic hopscotch board
341
00:15:18,002 --> 00:15:19,337
that turns them
into superheroes,
342
00:15:19,404 --> 00:15:21,576
but only at night
and never if it's raining.
343
00:15:21,643 --> 00:15:24,181
It's too complicated and noisy.
344
00:15:24,281 --> 00:15:26,151
Yeah, it is
both of those things.
345
00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,289
And their cat speaks French.
346
00:15:28,355 --> 00:15:30,828
(sobbing)
347
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:32,598
Yeah. Yeah.
348
00:15:35,604 --> 00:15:37,040
Oh, there you are, Rupert.
349
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,411
Funny how I never got
a visit in detention.
350
00:15:39,478 --> 00:15:40,647
Not even a letter.
351
00:15:41,916 --> 00:15:43,653
What do you mean
you couldn't find a stamp?
352
00:15:43,753 --> 00:15:44,956
Well, no need to mail it now.
353
00:15:45,022 --> 00:15:46,492
Show me the letter.
354
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:47,895
Show me the damn letter!
355
00:15:47,962 --> 00:15:49,732
I met a new friend in detention.
356
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:51,736
His name is
Thomas the Shank Engine.
357
00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:53,907
I think it's time you two met.
358
00:15:54,007 --> 00:15:55,644
You want to meet him? (grunting)
359
00:15:55,711 --> 00:15:56,913
What's going on in here?
360
00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:59,117
You don't know
what detention was like, Brian.
361
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:01,421
I feel like I aged
four years in there.
362
00:16:01,488 --> 00:16:05,163
On the first day, an older boy
put two fingers on my nose
363
00:16:05,229 --> 00:16:07,902
and just took it right off my
face and held it in front of me
364
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,906
and said, "I got it.
I got your nose."
365
00:16:10,006 --> 00:16:11,108
That ever happen to you, Brian?
366
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,047
You ever seen your own nose
wiggling between two fingers
367
00:16:14,114 --> 00:16:15,918
right in front of your face?
368
00:16:15,984 --> 00:16:17,387
And he never gave it back.
369
00:16:17,453 --> 00:16:20,293
�Stewie, what's going on
in here? �(sobbing)
370
00:16:20,359 --> 00:16:21,996
Okay, you are coming with me.
371
00:16:22,063 --> 00:16:24,467
(sobbing):
They've got my nose, Brian.
372
00:16:24,535 --> 00:16:26,739
They've got my nose.
373
00:16:26,806 --> 00:16:28,409
(sobbing)
374
00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:29,979
They've got my��
375
00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:31,114
(sighs):
Ah.
376
00:16:31,215 --> 00:16:32,585
This changes everything.
377
00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:33,753
Ooh, bubbles!
378
00:16:33,854 --> 00:16:37,695
Aw, looks like somebody was
overdue for his bath time.
379
00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:40,333
That's why you've been
so cranky.
380
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:43,807
All right, after this, we'll get
you into your footsie jammies
381
00:16:43,874 --> 00:16:46,078
and tucked into bed.
382
00:16:46,144 --> 00:16:49,752
Ah, finally, I can put
that whole detention experience
383
00:16:49,819 --> 00:16:51,756
behind me and just live.
384
00:16:54,427 --> 00:16:55,229
Whoa.
385
00:16:55,329 --> 00:16:57,200
Yep, so that's how your granddad
386
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,471
got his back tattoo
and hepatitis.
387
00:16:59,539 --> 00:17:01,174
Never share a needle
with Ben Affleck.
388
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,245
How did you
and Other Granddaddy meet?
389
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,782
That's a story
for when you're older.
390
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:07,253
The kids at school were asking
if you're a bottom or a top.
391
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,455
They should not be asking that.
392
00:17:08,557 --> 00:17:10,994
They said if that was your
answer, then you were a bottom.
393
00:17:11,094 --> 00:17:12,665
Who are these (bleep) kids
you're talking to?
394
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,737
I would like to have a word
with their attractive fathers.
395
00:17:20,179 --> 00:17:22,250
And that's how you say
"productivity"
396
00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:24,087
in 11 different languages,
397
00:17:24,154 --> 00:17:27,661
which, in hindsight, was not
a productive use of time.
398
00:17:27,728 --> 00:17:28,763
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
399
00:17:28,863 --> 00:17:31,001
I just came to clear the
search history off my computer
400
00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:33,372
before the I. T. guy��
uhp, he's already got it.
401
00:17:33,439 --> 00:17:36,245
Boy, you're really all in
on Asa Akira.
402
00:17:36,311 --> 00:17:38,883
Way off, pal. This is
the only place I can masturbate.
403
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:41,188
Griffin, just go.
404
00:17:42,490 --> 00:17:44,528
♪ ♪
405
00:17:50,006 --> 00:17:52,845
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
406
00:17:52,912 --> 00:17:54,281
Mr. Pabian.
407
00:17:54,347 --> 00:17:56,351
Get down from there at once.
408
00:17:57,621 --> 00:17:59,024
♪ ♪
409
00:17:59,124 --> 00:18:01,228
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
410
00:18:01,295 --> 00:18:02,898
Ms. Towers, get down.
411
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,637
Do you hear me?
I order you to get down.
412
00:18:05,704 --> 00:18:07,741
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
413
00:18:07,808 --> 00:18:10,046
Get down! Every one of you.
414
00:18:10,146 --> 00:18:12,618
That is a direct order.
Do you hear me?
415
00:18:12,685 --> 00:18:15,323
Oh, fat man, my fat man.
416
00:18:15,389 --> 00:18:17,193
Oh, fat man,
my fat man.
417
00:18:17,293 --> 00:18:19,899
Oh... (speaking gibberish)
418
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,605
Thank you all. Thank you.
419
00:18:26,311 --> 00:18:28,315
As someone
who doesn't remember movies,
420
00:18:28,382 --> 00:18:32,023
I've never seen such an original
display of faith in a colleague.
421
00:18:32,090 --> 00:18:34,562
�Peter, you're rehired.
�Really?
422
00:18:34,629 --> 00:18:37,568
(sighs)
Griffin, I guess I've learned
423
00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:40,807
that employees are
willing to endure a crappy job,
424
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:44,314
low pay, meaningless work,
no upward mobility,
425
00:18:44,381 --> 00:18:47,588
laughable benefits packages,
countless OSHA violations,
426
00:18:47,655 --> 00:18:50,527
exposure to hazardous waste
and emotional abuse
427
00:18:50,627 --> 00:18:54,334
as long as there are balloons
and pieces of cake once a month.
428
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:56,405
I guess I can allow that.
429
00:18:56,471 --> 00:18:58,342
(cheering)
430
00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:02,618
And I've learned that every
office needs a worst employee
431
00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:05,189
that all the other employees
can look down on.
432
00:19:05,256 --> 00:19:07,828
I can be that.
I can be that guy.
433
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:09,497
Now, if you'll excuse me.
434
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,504
Hey�hey,
Francesca Louise Allessandro!
435
00:19:12,571 --> 00:19:14,508
Good news.
I found your Instagram.
436
00:19:14,575 --> 00:19:16,646
Did you see the 90 photos
I liked in a row
437
00:19:16,713 --> 00:19:17,981
last night at 2:00 a. m.?
438
00:19:18,048 --> 00:19:21,689
Also, who's @BeckyFitness96, and
can you tell her to unblock me?
439
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:30,106
Well, Peter, I'm glad
you got your job back.
440
00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:31,976
Me, too, Lois,
but I am gonna miss
441
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,112
getting to perform every week.
442
00:19:33,178 --> 00:19:36,919
You don't need to be in charge
of birthdays to perform.
443
00:19:36,986 --> 00:19:38,455
You know, you're right, Chris.
444
00:19:38,523 --> 00:19:41,629
♪ June is bustin' out all over ♪
445
00:19:41,696 --> 00:19:44,467
♪ It's birthdays
and na�na�na�na�na ♪
446
00:19:44,535 --> 00:19:45,637
�♪ And a zabba... ♪
�(doorbell rings)
447
00:19:45,704 --> 00:19:48,075
(Peter continues
singing gibberish)
448
00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:50,446
(audience cheers and applauds)
449
00:19:50,547 --> 00:19:54,254
Oh, my! Tony Award�winning
performer Leslie Uggams?
450
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,158
What are you doing here?
451
00:19:56,224 --> 00:19:58,028
I heard you were
singing my song,
452
00:19:58,128 --> 00:20:00,166
but I think
you got the words wrong.
453
00:20:00,232 --> 00:20:02,638
It isn't "hana�wanna�dada�baba."
454
00:20:02,705 --> 00:20:06,344
�It's "da�zalway�da�da�zee�za."
�Oh, oh, okay.
455
00:20:06,411 --> 00:20:08,683
And then is it, uh,
something about Nash Bridges?
456
00:20:08,783 --> 00:20:12,223
No, it's "all the little bit
of dridges."
457
00:20:12,290 --> 00:20:14,227
Ah, "little bit of dridges,"
of course.
458
00:20:14,294 --> 00:20:16,699
(laughs) Now you got it!
459
00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:17,500
Come on!
460
00:20:17,568 --> 00:20:19,270
(lively orchestra music playing)
461
00:20:19,337 --> 00:20:22,443
♪ June is bustin' out all over ♪
462
00:20:22,544 --> 00:20:25,917
♪ All over
the meadow and the hill ♪
463
00:20:25,984 --> 00:20:27,554
♪ And da�zalway�da�da�zee�za ♪
464
00:20:27,621 --> 00:20:29,424
♪ All the little bit
of dridges ♪
465
00:20:29,491 --> 00:20:32,965
♪ And the morning glories
and the fez ♪
466
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,102
♪ Because it's June ♪
467
00:20:35,202 --> 00:20:36,906
♪ June, June, June ♪
468
00:20:36,973 --> 00:20:40,514
♪ Bustin' out, it's June, June ♪
469
00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:43,018
♪ June! ♪
470
00:20:43,085 --> 00:20:44,053
(song ends)
471
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,423
Bravo!
472
00:20:45,489 --> 00:20:48,328
That's from the 1945 Rodgers
and Hammerstein musical
473
00:20:48,395 --> 00:20:50,801
Carousel, about
carousel barker Billy Bigelow,
474
00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:53,205
whose romance with
mill worker Julie Jordan
475
00:20:53,272 --> 00:20:55,342
comes at the price
of both their jobs.
476
00:20:55,409 --> 00:20:57,981
If you want to know more
about it, ask your grandfather,
477
00:20:58,081 --> 00:20:59,618
who was dragged
to see it on a date
478
00:20:59,685 --> 00:21:01,889
and then had to get married
to touch boob.
479
00:21:01,939 --> 00:21:06,489
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34963
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
