All language subtitles for Pretty.Smart.2021.S01E06.1080p.WEB.H264-CAKES

All right, Nabila, shred that core.

Oh, God, Claire's here.
Pretend you're working out.

I am working out.

- Oh, hey, Grant.
- Hey, Grant.

- I mean, I'm Grant.
- Yeah, totally.

I'm good. How are you?

Oh, I'm good.

- That's good to be good.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna head out. I'll see you at home.

- Not if I don't see you first.
- Yeah, totally. I'll see you later.

Later, dude.

I mean, skater dude. I mean, skater girl.

I said, "See you later, girl."

Okay.

You hot people are so weird.

And then he said, "See you, skater girl."

It was so awkward.

Avril Lavigne. That is awkward.

Grant basically professed
his love for you, and you turned him down.

- Weirdness is to be expected.
- Yeah, I know.

Claire, I'm gonna ask you point-blank.

Do you have feelings for Grant
like he does for you?

Really?

No.

I mean, I did,
I have, but I don't anymore.

I feel bad that I hurt his feelings,

and I want things to go back
to the way they were.

Grant will be okay. I'm sure he's in pain,
but he'll move on, really. He will.

Okay. Good. That's good.

Enough about me and Grant.
What about you? Talk to me.

Tell me everything.

Okay. Well, I do have something
that's very Tropicana.

- It's juicy.
- What?

So I was watching
this old-timey movie called Ghost,

and this scene that's very slay
where Demi Moore is mushing clay,

and her hot, shirtless,
Patrick Swayze husband

is all, "Let me get behind you
and help you sculpt."

And at first you're like, "Mud? Gross."
But then, it gets so sexy

when their wet gooey fingers start
intertwining in sludgy, sinful ecstasy.

Wow.

So this got me looking online
for a pottery twunk.

See if I can get my hands
on a muddy hand partner.

- And?
- I found one.

He's so stun, and he teaches
a pottery class nearby. Check him out.

Hello, @ShouldIClayOrShouldIThrow!

There's just one problem.
I can't tell if he's straight or gay.

- Or pan, or bi, or questioning, or...
- Thank you, GLAAD Committee Co-chair.

I appreciate your allyship,
blah, blah, blah,

now help me figure out
if this guy likes D.

Oh, my God, what is that? It smells awful.

I know, right?

It's durian fruit.
Terrible odor but powerfully cleansing.

It's like a super-duper food.

Yes, the classic food pyramid.
Grains, vegetables, and super-dupers.

Solana, you'll be proud of me.
I took your advice about dating again.

Unless you're banging a guy from Staples,
I'm not sure how this is relevant.

This is the research I'm doing
before I decide who I'm going to date.

There's 1.8 million men in Los Angeles,

and 500,000 of them are
within reasonable geographic range,

I cross-referenced that
with a college degree,

and then I removed about 15%

to account for the L.A. epidemic
of thin chin hair.

You're procrastinating.
This will speed things along.

I signed you up for a dating app.

What? How?

When did you take this picture?
I look amazing.

Just go on a date, now.

- All right, fine, I will.
- I don't believe you. Pinkie swear.

- Solana, we're both adults.
- It wasn't a request.

May you be cursed by tiny-fingered gods
if you break your pinkie oath.

I'm so excited for you!

Michael, the way men behave
on dating apps is abhorrent.

I get it.

I thought I found the girl of my dreams,
but it was Burger King

catfishing me to promote
a new chicken sandwich.

Dating in L.A. is brutal.

Sup?

Wow. That might be the saddest
"sup" I've ever heard.

Claire was here.

I was so awkward,

the security guys
have been rewatching the footage.

Oh, yeah. I saw.

Avril Lavigne, huh?

Grant, I feel terrible.

I told you to go for it,
and I totally misread how she was feeling.

I'm sorry.

You have nothing to be sorry about.
I asked you for help.

And it's good that I know
where she stands. I don't regret it.

I don't wanna feel hurt anymore.

Oh.

- What's wrong?
- I'm on a dating app.

I got a message from the defendant
at my future murder trial.

Solana signed me up.

She made me pinkie promise to date,
and I'm oddly afraid to break it.

Good for you, Chelsea. That takes courage.

You know, maybe it's time
I put myself out there too.

Move on from Claire.

Yeah, that's a great idea,
but I've gotta warn you, it's not easy.

- Dating in L.A. is...
- I'd like to go on a date.

...brutal.

Hey.

Hi.

- Look at this one. Is he gay or straight?
- Huh.

Shirtless overalls.

On the one hand, very Boho,
on the other, kind of homo.

None of these are helping.

A selfie with a strip of paint
on his face.

A foot holding a vegetable peeler.

A happy birthday message to Sasha Obama.
Who is this man?

I fell in love with a sculptor once.

We're talking about me, Howard.

What am I gonna do?
About Howard interrupting.

I don't know.

But I have an idea for pottery guy.

We should go and take a class.
Gaydar works better in person.

That's a great idea.

We both represent
the peak specimens of our gender,

so "Should I Clay or Should I
Throw" will flirt with one of us.

I'll be gay bait...

- And I'll be straight bait!
- Then we'll find out if he's gay.

Or asexual, or greysexual,
or demisexual...

I'm so happy that you read the pamphlet.

But you've gotta focus. Okay?
We've gotta change.

- For this, we must look our sexiest.
- Yay, pottery!

Oh, this is so much fun!

I love trying new things.

Oh, I hope he's gay for you.

And I hope you make something out of clay.

That's why I stop drinking water
at least two hours before going to movies.

You're so funny.

So dinner tonight?

Sounds great. Uh, but just to ask,
would you be down for a double date?

I have a single brother
if you know anyone.

Actually, I know the perfect person.

- Chelsea.
- Uh-huh?

Would you wanna go on a double date
with me and Karen and Karen's brother?

Oh.

Thank you, but I have
something in the works.

I'm talking to this guy that seems great.

No creepy pics, hasn't asked
for a wire transfer,

and he knows when
to use "it's" with an apostrophe

and it's, with an apostrophe, refreshing.

I've really got a good one here.
Okay, and he just sent me a dick-pic.

Two, actually.
And there's the third musketeer.

Oh, and if you zoom in, you can see
Tucker Carlson playing in the background.

Which, if you think about it,
is the fourth dick-pic.

Double date it is.

Hello?

Claire? Grant?

Chelsea? Jayden?

Justin Trudeau's nudes leaked!

Ooh!

Alone at last.

Ooh.

It's like mother nature
vomited in her mouth. Yum.

Welcome to Chewing Mindfully.

Why just eat out
when you can eat from the inside out?

Why?

Why is there a mouse here?

No.

No, Solana!

It's just a mouse,
and mice are people too.

Even this room's sexuality is unclear.

- Who is she?
- We're trying to get the guy's attention.

You're straight bait,
not conversion therapy.

Welcome, everyone. I'm Topher.

It really could go either way.

Take a seat at your wheels.

- Exciting, right?
- Very.

This introduction to ceramics session
is all about having fun

and embracing that inner sense of play
we all have within us.

'Cause, baby, you were born this clay.

Looking pretty good so far.

Let the straight or gay-mes begin.

Actually, I have two dogs,
Mariah and Joe Montana.

So, anyway, I am obsessed with Britney
and Christina, my two favorite nieces.

So there I was, on my knees,
loving every second of it.

Changing a tire is so rewarding.

I have no idea. Dating in L.A. is brutal.

God, I don't wanna do this.
I mean, a blind date?

What if he's a bones collector
or something?

I can't be looking for my bra
and step on a ferret clavicle.

Relax, you're just nervous.

Karen is awesome, and she says
her brother is even awesomer.

You'll see how normal it is
once we sit down and order drinks.

Yes. Alcohol makes the smart voices
go away.

Hey!

- Hey!
- Hi!

Hi.

- Hey, Grant.
- Nice to meet you. Aaron.

Chelsea.

I have to admit, I'm relieved.

When my sister was setting me up
with a girl from the gym, well,

you can imagine my worry.

Oh, you were afraid I might be strong
enough to suffocate you with my thighs?

No, not... Not that. Whoo!

It's just that blind dates
as a concept are insane.

Insane. Yes, exactly.
It's like, you could be anyone!

Something tells me
we both dodged a bullet this time.

Yes, it seems that way.

Hey, guys, what can I get you?

Reminder, there's no buddies discount.
Claire just made that up.

Okay. Hi, Howard, I'll just have
a vodka soda. Thanks.

Tequila soda for me, please.

Sure, and for you two?

My sister and I will each
have a gin and tonic.

In one glass, with two straws.

Sorry, I may have misheard.
You each want a gin and tonic?

- Yes.
- Got it.

- In one glass.
- With two straws.

And he doesn't like citrus, so if you can
please put the lime on my side.

Okay.

You know, I think he may have
thought you wanted to share one drink,

which you don't, right?

No, that's exactly what we want.

I understand that you're an exterminator,

and that it rhymes
with terminator for a reason.

But do you offer any solutions
that don't end in violence or death?

I don't know. Rodent hypnosis.

Tiny talk therapy.

Dr. Drew-style intervention
but without the exploitation.

Oh, I sound crazy because I'm talking
about mice like they're people.

You know what?

I am one with nature,
so I will get rid of this mouse myself,

and it will be a spiritual, ethical,
and beautiful experience for all!

Oh, no.

Oh, that looks awesome.
Have you done pottery before?

No, but I've dabbled in Play-Doh.

Oh, yeah, my mom would buy me
those six-packs. I would go to town.

That's so sweet of your mom.
I buy my own supply.

- I'm Dave, by the way.
- I'm Claire.

- So how did you end up here?
- Oh, I'm just helping my friend.

He wants to get Ghosted-up
by the instructor. What about you?

Well, actually,
I won this class in a work raffle.

I was pulling for the Nespresso,
but this is good too.

- I like trying new things.
- I like trying new things.

You should do work raffles. Last month,
I won the boss' parking spot for a day.

It was a Saturday, so it was a trick
to get me to work on the weekend,

but boy, it was pretty fun!

Hey, we're here for a reason.

Teacher!

She needs help.

- Jayden!
- Just flirt with him.

- What should I say?
- Ask a lot of questions.

If he's straight, he will be mansplaining.

- You were doing so well. What happened?
- Uh...

What do you think happened?

Um, it seems like your piece fell over.

- Did it though?
- It definitely did.

Can you help me fix it?

Not a problem.

All right.

First, you smack it down.

- Then, you get it wet.
- Oh.

Then, you keep a steady pump.

Now, I'll grab the base, and you can
use your hands to make it grow.

No, I can't.

Oh, no!

I don't wanna get clay in my hair.

I mean, do I wanna get clay in my hair?

Definitely not.

But if you do, just do
a sea salt scrub for your scalp

followed by a marula oil hair mask.

Houston, we have a homo.

They stopped letting us
do co-ed wrestling in middle school,

and that's when we became
ballroom dancing partners.

Oh, you're dancers.

That explains why you've been talking
so much about each other's feet, I think.

Our specialty is the tango.

When we hear a tango,
we just have to dance.

You know, this isn't a tango.
I think it's Huey Lewis and the News.

It's like there's a magnet on each of us.

- And we're pulled into one another.
- Attached.

One beat.

One heart.

Clap so it's over. Clap so it's over.

Wow. You guys have so much chemistry.

So, uh...

- Oh! Something different to talk about.
- Good.

This is my first ever double date.
What about you?

We exclusively double date.

Of course.

- I can see how that might sound weird.
- No.

Only because
we wanna have kids at the same time.

- Waiter!
- It makes more sense

for us to meet people
at the exact same time,

move them into our home,
and start building a life together.

I'm sorry, I'm feeling a bit faint.

- You should sit down.
- I don't wanna sit down!

I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh, I have to help her go to the bathroom.

Understood.

These people are insane.
We're in the Seventh Circle of Hell.

Usually, I try to see the best in people.
But I can't see any best. There's no best!

Let's go.

Wait. My leftovers. All that protein.

We'll raid a chicken farm
on the way home. Let's go!

Teacher, Topher babes.

Just struggling with the height.
If I could get help, that would be incred.

Of course.

I couldn't help but notice
how well you work the clay.

I don't like to brag,
but I'm pretty good with my hands.

That's good.
Because I'm a hands-on learner.

A hands-on-hands learner.

Whatever I can do to help you learn.

It's happening.

It's a full-on Ghost.

♪ Whoa, my love ♪

♪ My darling ♪

Okay, little guy.

Go through the tubes!

I realize now this looks
like a trap designed to kill you.

That's my bad.

I promise you, it's not.

Yes, yes, yes! Yes, go!

Go on. No!

In here. In here!

Oh, why?

Why won't you go?

What do you want from me?

All I wanted was a night alone
with my meditation app

and my durian fruit
that smells like sewer wine!

That's it!

That's why you're here!
You love the stinky fruit.

Yes, hey.

Hey. Go.

Go, go, go.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Go.

Go, go, go.

I did it!

I am one with nature. Unh, unh, yes!

Way to make a move, Jayden.

What can I say?
I gave him Demi, and he gave me more.

I got his number too.
I think love is in the air tonight.

I got a text from Grant saying he just
went on his first date in, like, forever.

- Really?
- Yeah.

How are you feeling about that?

Well...

Relieved, actually.

We're both moving on.

I'll be right back.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

Oh, nice cup / mug / bowl.

- I always thought they could be one thing.
- Thanks.

So I was thinking. You like doing
new things and I like doing new things.

Maybe we could do
a new thing together some time?

Yeah, I would absolutely love to.

What should we do? Oh!
There's another work raffle coming up.

I'll buy a thousand tickets.

- Or you could just take me to dinner.
- Right.

Yeah, that's a safer bet.

Great. It's a date.

Great.

The tango...

is not only a beautiful dance

but a convenient way
to dry hump your sibling.

Your face when they said
they went to prom as a couple.

And your face when they demonstrated
how they prefer to be held.

I can't wrap my head
around what we went through.

Maybe the worst date
in the history of dating.

Mm-hm.

But honestly, I don't remember
the last time I had this much fun.

Yeah, me neither.

I feel like myself again. Better even.

- Thank you, Chelsea.
- Hey, I didn't do anything.

Well, I couldn't have done it without you.

We did it. We went on a date.

And I sweat through my dress
in the first five minutes.

Yeah, you did.

Ugh.

- Well, I should probably get to bed.
- Yeah. Same.

Well, this is me.

Oh, this is you.

- I live right next door.
- Oh, small world.

Goodnight, Grant.

Goodnight, Chelsea.