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1
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:16,683
Well, it's breakfast on a Monday,
which means The Bachelor is on tonight.
2
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,644
It's been another dramatic week,
and the big question is:
3
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:23,148
Will the fact that Chelsea reads her book
while everyone has fun watching
4
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:25,817
ultimately affect Claire's decision?
5
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:27,444
Let's find out now...
6
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,863
at the smoothie ceremony.
7
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:34,159
- I'm not doing this again.
- Do you want the smoothie or not?
8
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,952
You know that I want it!
9
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,384
Solana.
10
00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,597
Will you accept this smoothie?
11
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:57,891
Of course.
12
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,863
- Grant.
- Yes.
13
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,200
I'm so sorry.
14
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,161
Will you accept this smoothie?
15
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,372
Always.
16
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,628
Roomies, this is the final smoothie.
17
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,006
When you're ready.
18
00:01:37,388 --> 00:01:38,388
Chelsea.
19
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:44,479
It has been a...
20
00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:47,899
Give me the damn smoothie.
God, I hate Bachelor nights!
21
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,579
Good morning.
22
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,541
Have a good workout.
23
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,627
You go get them, tiger!
24
00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:17,637
I saw that.
You're starting to like the gym.
25
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,973
Oh. Yeah, the endorphins are contagious.
26
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,266
That happens.
27
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:24,561
One time, everyone caught
the same horrible rash from the yoga mats.
28
00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:28,648
- A staph infection?
- Not just staff, customers too.
29
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:35,864
Chelsea Morgan?
30
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:37,991
Oh, my God, it is you!
31
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:41,327
Margot! Margot Wainwright.
32
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,164
Quelle surprise!
33
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,957
I was grabbing a macchiato
34
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,918
when I looked and thought,
"Is that Chelsea from high school?"
35
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,337
The salutatorian to my valedictorian?
36
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:55,466
Oh, you, always bringing that up.
Our GPAs were neck and neck.
37
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,760
With one neck longer than the other.
38
00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,430
- You're wondering why I'm in Los Angeles.
- I was not.
39
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,849
I'm in town shopping my novel to agents.
40
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,851
- Oh!
- It's looking highly competitive.
41
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:07,312
Some people are saying
I'm a modern-day Tolstoy.
42
00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:10,773
Oh, well, you're certainly saying it.
43
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,735
Gosh, this time
it's just been such a whirlwind.
44
00:03:13,818 --> 00:03:15,695
Maybe someday you'll understand.
45
00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:17,654
Though I doubt it.
46
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,617
Oh, that reminds me!
47
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,870
I'm giving a guest lecture
at UCLA tonight, you should come.
48
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:24,954
Oh.
49
00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:30,376
You know, Margot, I'd love to,
but I have plans.
50
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,296
Oh, of course, sorry.
How presumptuous of me.
51
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,423
You must have lots to do here.
52
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:38,468
The washing of the towels,
and the mopping of the sweat...
53
00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,845
I wrote a novel too. Yep.
54
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,680
Yes, yes, I did.
55
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,975
Um, uh, that's actually why
I can't come tonight.
56
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:51,731
I have an event
for my novel that I started,
57
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,401
worked on, and finished. My novel.
58
00:03:56,277 --> 00:04:00,198
This job at the gym
is purely for research purposes.
59
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:03,201
My book is about a woman
60
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,372
who is a competitive...
61
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,666
weightlifter.
62
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,336
A weightlifter?
63
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,214
I can't imagine
there's much of a market for that.
64
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:19,092
Well, there is, I sold it.
65
00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:21,552
That's what I'm celebrating tonight.
66
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,179
Um, my boyfriend...
67
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,557
- Did I mention my boyfriend who has a PhD?
- No. Okay.
68
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,644
Yes, he has arranged an intimate dinner
at the house tonight
69
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:32,563
with my agent to celebrate
the contract signing.
70
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,775
He's hired a renowned private chef.
It's very chic.
71
00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,528
Oh, quite impressive.
72
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:43,116
If I didn't know any better, I'd say
that sounds almost too good to be true.
73
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:48,413
Well, it is.
74
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:52,166
If you weren't busy tonight,
I would invite you to join us.
75
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:57,338
- I would love to come!
- You can't because you have the lecture.
76
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,924
It's fine. Malcolm Gladwell's speaking.
77
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,678
You know Malc won't say no
to an extra half-hour of stage time.
78
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,515
I really must run,
but text me your address,
79
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,142
and I'll see you tonight. Hmm?
80
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,269
Ciao!
81
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:12,645
No!
82
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:19,861
God, I can't believe I lied!
What was I thinking?
83
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:22,155
She's just so Margot.
84
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:25,325
When I got an A,
she would brag about her A-plus.
85
00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,827
When I got into Harvard,
she called it a safety school
86
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,746
for people who couldn't get into Oxford.
87
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:34,208
I actually went to my safety school.
The Middleton Academy for Boy Models.
88
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,127
Go, Tigers!
89
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,714
Now she's in town shopping her novel
90
00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:42,592
and all I've ever written
are three sad little words.
91
00:05:44,635 --> 00:05:46,012
"It was Tuesday."
92
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,807
Hey, Tuesday's a great word!
93
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:53,311
Tuesday! Tuesday!
94
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:55,188
No, I think you've got something there.
95
00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,068
Oh, God. She keeps texting me
for the address.
96
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,319
I'll just blow her off.
97
00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,029
And watch The Bachelor with us.
98
00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:06,908
Oh, yes, or I could get lost at sea.
Both great options.
99
00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:11,746
Or you send her our address
and we make your lie a reality.
100
00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,376
I'm not following.
101
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,670
It's called pretending.
102
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:22,173
So when Margot comes over,
103
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:26,844
we're all going to pretend
like everything you said is true.
104
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:31,349
You'll have an agent, a boyfriend,
a personal chef and a big fat book deal.
105
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,687
This is nuts.
Why am I even considering this?
106
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:41,734
Why am I still considering this?
Why have I not stopped considering this?
107
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,361
Do it!
108
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,531
Do it! Do it! Do it!
109
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,282
Okay, okay, okay!
110
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,246
- Let's do it.
- Oh, my gosh!
111
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,542
Margot will be expecting my lit agent.
112
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,877
Someone sharp, someone sophisticated.
113
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:02,547
Solana, you were a lawyer.
114
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,715
I'm on it, but I'll need
your full commitment
115
00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,968
that you're not working
with any other agents.
116
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,554
This is all pretend so...
117
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:12,515
I need that commitment
in writing by end of day.
118
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:14,767
Okay.
119
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:19,439
Next, I told Margot that this would be
catered by a professional chef.
120
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,190
Claire, you think you can do that?
121
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,735
Sure, I've got tons of food
prepared for Bachelor night.
122
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,779
Remember, Margot's never met you,
123
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:30,324
so tonight, you're not my sister,
you're a stranger.
124
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:33,786
No hugs, no nicknames,
no trying to finish my sentences
125
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:36,747
- because you think we speak the same...
- English. Got it.
126
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:40,835
Okay. That just leaves the boyfriend.
127
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:45,173
I can play straight, but I'd need
a full two weeks to prepare.
128
00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,966
Or I can be your boyfriend.
129
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:56,350
Okay. Yeah, that's perfect.
130
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:58,644
Yes, you will be the boyfriend,
131
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,771
and we live here,
132
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:04,442
and you're a brilliant PhD
in something Margot knows nothing about.
133
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,944
So we'll tell her you're a...
134
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:08,613
microbiologist.
135
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:09,822
Got it.
136
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,742
That leaves moi. What are we thinking,
137
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:15,495
choose the wig first
and let the character flow from there?
138
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,663
Jayden, we've been through this.
139
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:22,335
I love you, but you always go so big
and you give the whole thing away.
140
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:26,339
Not every character
needs a tragic backstory and an accent.
141
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,174
Maybe Jayden can do something small.
142
00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:30,843
Yes! Like that time
I played a delivery man.
143
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,137
Who you turned into an Oklahoma yokel
144
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,348
who killed his own sister
in a silo accident?
145
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,644
Pop told us not to play in there.
146
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,355
But I just couldn't help myself.
147
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:44,815
Sign here to confirm receipt.
148
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:48,027
Jayden's out!
I'm sorry, it's just too important.
149
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,445
Oh, fine!
150
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,825
Okay, all right, the wheels are in motion,
151
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:57,078
we'll get Margot in,
she'll see my amazing life,
152
00:08:57,161 --> 00:09:00,206
- and when she's squirming with envy...
- I'll bring out the contract.
153
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,666
The nail in the coffin.
154
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:04,210
And Margot will finally be jealous of me.
155
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,587
I think this will work.
156
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,215
This is never going to work!
157
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:11,842
Why did I think this would work?
158
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,179
Margot's intelligent.
Did I mention she went to Oxford?
159
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,639
Because she did!
160
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:20,476
I can't believe I was
desperate enough to agree to this!
161
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,187
Oh, God.
162
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:24,980
She's here.
163
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:29,068
Okay, I'm opening the door.
164
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,320
The door is opening.
165
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,322
The door is open. Margot!
166
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,741
- Hi!
- How lovely of you to come.
167
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,410
I wouldn't miss it.
168
00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:40,121
And you must be the boyfriend.
169
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,289
Welcome to our home.
170
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:44,000
It's so nice to meet you.
Chelsea says you're a scientist.
171
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,752
Yes. I'm a microwave-ologist.
172
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:52,091
A microwave-ologist.
173
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,927
Yes, that is what I said.
174
00:09:57,388 --> 00:09:59,890
Honey, why don't you check
on how dinner is coming?
175
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,350
Sounds great.
176
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:03,978
I'll miss you.
177
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:05,061
Okay.
178
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,149
Come on in.
179
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,989
I don't care what it costs, if Franzen
gets 20% on the back end, so does Chelsea.
180
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:16,324
Figure it out!
181
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:19,702
- Solana Castellano, Chelsea's agent.
- Nice to meet you.
182
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,912
I'm an author myself. Margot Wainwright.
183
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,457
- Oh, Margot Wainwright.
- That's right.
184
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:25,833
Never heard of you.
185
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,919
Hi, I'm the chef.
186
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,922
Barbie, Barbie Mattel.
187
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:34,966
Like the doll?
188
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:38,012
Your doll's name was Barbie too? Wow.
189
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:41,015
Why don't you tell us
what's on the menu, Barbie?
190
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:41,932
Totally.
191
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:47,688
Tonight we will be enjoying salami roses,
cucumber roses and rose water sorbet.
192
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:51,025
Why is everything rose-themed?
193
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,860
- Because of The Bach...
- The book.
194
00:10:54,236 --> 00:10:58,532
Rose imagery features prominently,
and Chef Barbie...
195
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:04,622
Mattel was kind enough to allude
to the text through her culinary craft.
196
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,000
- Thank you so much.
- No probs, Chels.
197
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,795
She's very informal.
198
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:15,257
Yes, well, we're a little
more casual here on this coast.
199
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:18,344
I popped a zit
for my gardener this morning.
200
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:25,810
A glass of your finest
yet cheapest wine, Howard.
201
00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:30,564
We have a white blend, a red blend,
or I can blend you a milkshake.
202
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,529
Oh, Howard. I can't even pretend
to laugh at your jokes right now.
203
00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:37,905
A white will do.
204
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,075
Make me a chocolate malt
while you're at it.
205
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:47,914
Rough day?
206
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,543
It hurts to be excluded.
207
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:56,006
You see, Howard, I'm the kind of person
whose light shines so bright
208
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,718
and then other people complain,
and they say, "Stop!
209
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,511
Our retinas are burning."
210
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,682
And it's like, hello, put on sunglasses.
211
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,770
Have you ever been rejected
for your gifts?
212
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,772
Gosh, yeah.
213
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,775
All the time. My mother and father
would sometimes ignore me...
214
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,777
They don't want me there, it's fine.
215
00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,489
I'll just stay here and watch
The Bachelor pre-show.
216
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,325
Which is Wheel of Fortune.
Can you put it on?
217
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,369
Sure thing, Jayden.
218
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,539
And your chocolate malt.
219
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,170
Ugh.
220
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,797
This is disgusting.
221
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:39,258
Keep them coming.
222
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,136
Keep them coming.
223
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,435
I told Oprah, "Honey, don't beg,
224
00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:51,771
you'll read
Chelsea's book when you read it."
225
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,064
I'm quite surprised, Chelsea.
226
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:58,235
I still think of you as that
little 17-year-old nipping at my heels.
227
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:04,366
Struggling to keep up, yet so determined,
despite all inevitability. Cute.
228
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,328
Chelsea's achieved
a lot since then. Haven't you?
229
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,664
Yes. I have.
230
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,168
From the onset, my novel
has been a shining success.
231
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:18,547
As soon as I wrote the first word,
the text simply poured out of me.
232
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,758
A seamless flow of creative energy.
233
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,635
Like a microwave.
234
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:29,016
It was selling the novel
that brought a feeling of gratification
235
00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:32,311
far greater than the seven figures
that flooded my account.
236
00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:35,439
Maybe one day you'll understand.
237
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,942
Though I doubt it.
238
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,949
- I think it's time to sign that contract.
- Indeed.
239
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:52,540
It's interesting, you mentioned
you wrote your novel quickly.
240
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:53,958
Yes.
241
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:55,501
That's so unlike you.
242
00:13:55,584 --> 00:13:58,504
The Chelsea I knew
was always paralyzed by the blank page.
243
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,090
I recall the final
in-class essay in Honors English,
244
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:04,260
you were so fixated
on getting every word just right,
245
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:07,179
you could barely finish
the first sentence!
246
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:12,017
Needless to say, it's hard to believe
you finished your novel so quickly.
247
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:19,984
Well, that's what happened.
Will you excuse me for a moment?
248
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,904
I'm gonna go check on that contract.
249
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,159
The human head weighs eight pounds.
250
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:35,958
So what if the title is profane in Greek?
We'll get more press!
251
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,084
Hey!
252
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,336
What are you doing?
She can't even hear you!
253
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:43,340
Trust me! The more realistic this is,
the better you look. It's working.
254
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,801
Not anymore. I think she's onto us.
255
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:48,095
So, where did you and Chelsea meet?
256
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,890
The farmer's market.
257
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,267
Chelsea said it was the museum.
258
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:55,269
It was.
259
00:14:55,352 --> 00:14:58,022
I was confusing the two
because isn't the farmer's market
260
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,231
just a museum for fruit?
261
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,858
Thank God you're back!
262
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,776
Oh, okay.
263
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,028
The contract is ready!
264
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,156
Great, let's get it signed
and send Margot off to her lecture.
265
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,449
Not before a toast!
266
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:12,578
- Oh, God.
- Okay, everyone take one.
267
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:14,955
- Thank you.
- It's so exciting.
268
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:18,584
- Chelsea...
- Mm.
269
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:22,212
writing a book has been a dream
of yours since you were a little girl.
270
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:25,549
Or so I imagine because I just met you.
271
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,760
But either way,
272
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:30,888
you really deserve
everything you ever wished for.
273
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:35,059
- And this is all I really wanted for you.
- Thank you, Barbie!
274
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,645
Oh, very moving words from the chef.
275
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:40,606
Can't wait to hear
what the boyfriend has to say.
276
00:15:41,231 --> 00:15:42,399
Ding, ding, ding.
277
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:44,360
Right.
278
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:47,738
- To Chelsea.
- To Chelsea.
279
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:53,369
You wrote a book,
and we met at a museum...
280
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,205
and...
281
00:15:57,164 --> 00:16:00,209
I don't know what else to say so...
282
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:13,554
Whoo!
283
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,060
I think that about covers it. Cheers!
284
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,478
- Congrats!
- Cheers.
285
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,021
Congratulations!
286
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,316
Ugh. Finally.
287
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,902
- Your signature here.
- Okay.
288
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,532
And initial here.
289
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:36,787
And here.
290
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:42,084
That was supposed to be a signature,
so cross that out,
291
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,711
initial the cross-out...
292
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,254
and then sign.
293
00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:50,718
- And here.
- Oh.
294
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:58,058
You can have as much wine as you want,
but you've had far too much milk.
295
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,768
I'll be the judge of that.
296
00:17:03,939 --> 00:17:05,357
I've had far too much milk.
297
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,404
Tonight on The Bachelor,
Hannah Z wasn't invited on the group date,
298
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,906
but she shows up anyway.
299
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:16,535
This is my time!
And I will not be excluded.
300
00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:19,163
You tell them, Hannah Z.
301
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:22,041
You deserve to be on that group date.
302
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:25,085
You pull your Spanx up,
you let your light shine bright.
303
00:17:26,086 --> 00:17:28,130
Howard! I have to...
304
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,424
Throw up.
305
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,634
Whoa.
306
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:37,973
But after that,
I've got a group date to crash.
307
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:41,185
My cousin knows Hannah Z.
308
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:43,145
Oh, my God, is she in L.A. now?
309
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:47,649
And your thumbprint here. And here.
310
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,818
And we're done.
311
00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:53,906
Thank you so much, Margot, for coming.
What a wonderful evening.
312
00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:57,534
Oh, Chelsea,
all this pomp and circumstance
313
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,245
has left my interest positively piqued.
314
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,039
I must see this manuscript.
315
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:04,707
Oh.
316
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,044
No.
317
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,130
You can't.
318
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:14,301
Because the contract stipulates
we're not allowed to release
319
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,261
any copies until publication.
320
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:18,222
Especially in Greece.
321
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,559
Yes, the novel is highly critical of...
322
00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:24,477
yogurt.
323
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,440
But you should know, it's very good.
324
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:32,069
Wait, sorry, Barbie the chef read it?
325
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,074
No, I didn't read it.
326
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:40,410
Chelsea read it to me.
327
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:43,288
Oh, did she?
328
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:46,750
Well, then it's settled.
You can read it to me as well.
329
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,836
At least a passage or two.
330
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,089
You know, Margot, I would,
331
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:56,093
but unfortunately,
I don't have the manuscript.
332
00:18:56,176 --> 00:18:59,596
Here it is, my darling.
333
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,307
Don't worry, it's just plain paper.
334
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,563
Thank you, Grant. So helpful.
335
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,858
Come, come, everyone. Let's listen.
336
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:18,198
Okay, all right, I guess I'll just read
a passage aloud from my novel
337
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,118
about a female weightlifter
338
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:25,497
- and roses and... Yogurt.
- Yogurt!
339
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,374
Thank you, Margot.
340
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,877
Oh, yes.
341
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,507
- "It was Tuesday."
- I love that part.
342
00:19:36,925 --> 00:19:40,262
"Diane was finally able to steal away
343
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:45,434
from the Olympic weightlifting trials
to visit the gravesite.
344
00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:51,732
In the pre-dawn light,
she approached Dimitri's headstone
345
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:54,234
with a single rose.
346
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:58,947
He had done all he could
to protect her from...
347
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,617
the yogurt industry.
348
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:07,706
Diane watched as the sun
made its ascent on the horizon.
349
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:12,211
She turned
and with resigned determination,
350
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:15,088
took her first steps into the future.
351
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,758
Her face awash in golden light
352
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:23,013
and the humble longing
for an unbounded tomorrow."
353
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,895
That was...
354
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,231
very...
355
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:33,941
good.
356
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:37,444
To be honest, when we spoke at the gym,
I assumed you were making it all up.
357
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:41,782
But now I see you really did
write a beautiful novel,
358
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:44,576
and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't...
359
00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:46,703
jealous.
360
00:20:46,787 --> 00:20:47,787
Oh.
361
00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,919
Well, that was not my intention.
362
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:58,340
Don't sign that bloody contract!
363
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:02,511
This two-faced sheila
of a book agent will double-cross you
364
00:21:02,594 --> 00:21:04,846
as soon as she gets the chance.
365
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,975
- Jayden!
- I'm not Jayden, I'm Braden.
366
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,686
Braden Bathwater!
367
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,729
The other book agent.
368
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,982
- Oh, God.
- Oh, no.
369
00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:16,650
This is bad.
370
00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,152
What's happening?
Why are you whispering?
371
00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,655
Are we done with the characters?
Is Margot gone?
372
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:23,740
Wait, who's she? Who are you?
373
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,785
Hi. I'm Margot.
374
00:21:26,868 --> 00:21:29,913
And this is amazing!
375
00:21:29,997 --> 00:21:33,750
Oh, Chelsea, wow!
376
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,294
What a to-do.
377
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:37,838
And all so you could pretend
that you wrote a book.
378
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:40,048
Oh, how pathetic.
379
00:21:42,092 --> 00:21:44,344
Yes! You're right!
380
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:49,683
Congratulations, Margot,
you are still more successful than me.
381
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:51,435
But you know what?
382
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,438
Maybe I'm okay with that.
383
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:58,108
Maybe I like working at the gym
384
00:21:58,191 --> 00:22:01,528
and the little beeping sound
the thing makes when I swipe the cards,
385
00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:04,031
and maybe I like living with these people
386
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:08,201
who care about me enough
to do something this ridiculous.
387
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,578
And maybe...
388
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:12,289
Maybe it's time for you to go...
389
00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:15,959
because I wanna watch The Bachelor.
390
00:22:16,877 --> 00:22:20,213
You want to watch The Bachelor?
391
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:21,590
Yes!
392
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:26,053
I'm tired of pretending to read while
I watch it out of the corner of my eye!
393
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:29,348
Oh, reality television, how simple.
394
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:33,352
I don't care what you think, Margot.
395
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:36,438
I love everything about The Bachelor.
396
00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:40,692
The helicopter dates, the in-fighting.
397
00:22:40,776 --> 00:22:42,736
The verbal gymnastics
of saying "I love you"
398
00:22:42,819 --> 00:22:44,446
without saying "I love you."
399
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:48,325
The surprise concerts
by obscure country music artists!
400
00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:50,285
And most of all,
401
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,163
I love the sparkly dresses!
402
00:22:54,122 --> 00:22:55,791
Have a nice life, Margot!
403
00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,795
- Yes!
- Yeah!
404
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:02,381
Oh, my God.
405
00:23:07,010 --> 00:23:10,430
Ah. Crazy night, right?
406
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:15,602
Yeah. Yep.
407
00:23:16,853 --> 00:23:20,190
Oh, sorry about that.
408
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:22,692
I forgot. You're not my girlfriend.
409
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:27,781
Yeah. So true.
410
00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:28,865
Rose cake!
411
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:34,121
Inspired by your novel
and our favorite show.
412
00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,958
And, Chelsea, can I just say?
You are a fantastic writer.
413
00:23:38,041 --> 00:23:39,292
Oh, that wasn't writing,
414
00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:42,129
that was just me making up
sentences out of thin air.
415
00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:45,173
Isn't that exactly what writing is?
416
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:50,470
- That's a very good point.
- And I loved the way you read it out loud.
417
00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,139
Yeah. That should be a thing.
418
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:55,517
- Like a sound book.
- You mean an audio book.
419
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,644
No, a sound book.
420
00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:59,187
Oh, it's starting.
421
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,359
Is that Hannah Z
crawling through a window?
422
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:07,446
Yeah, she will not be excluded.
31672
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